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#Roman can’t deal with the shenanigans of his brother and brother in law
romancore · 2 years
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Roman: Where is the turkey?
Janus: I haven’t seen it
*few minutes before*
Janus: *helping Remus put the turkey on his head*
*present*
Remus, running into the kitchen with the turkey on his head: BEHOLD THE TURKEY MAN! IS HE MAN OR IS HE TURKEY? THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW
Roman: I hate this family
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prinzenhasserin · 7 years
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Fandom5k - Dear Author!
This letter is just in case you might want to poke at some more of my prompts/likes. 
I’m not married to any of them, feel free to subvert them to your heart’s desire. I’m not so much a fan of darkfic, except for when there’s a hopeful resolution to all the dark stuff, but feel free to write me any rating, I love all these ships and combinations!
Feel also free to include other characters or OCs as side-characters, if they are necessary because of plot reasons.
Things I Love:
fake/pretend relationships 
arranged marriages turning into supportive partners 
loyalty
odd couples 
found family, dysfunctional families that nevertheless love each other
cultural differences, age differences, height differences 
heists, rescue missions 
dragons, fairy tales, magical realism, urban fantasy
competent characters 
people not realising they’re the most competent at their job/hobby
people failing their way to success
happy endings, earning your happy ending, open yet hopeful endings
cynical humour 
mutual pining 
suits, corsetry, fancy dresses 
Identity shenanigans (secret identities, mistaken identities) 
Blatant Lies 
Enemies becoming friends and/or lovers 
outsider POV 
epistolary 
people not usually found in law enforcement solving crimes 
non-verbal expressions of affection 
Kinks:
sex in weird places (hard no on libraries, though)
Sexual Tension (bonus, if in inappropriate places or situations)
I like my anal sex with lots of lube and preparation, and also not before any strenuous activities. Lot of foreplay basically :D
women knowing exactly what they want from sex
multiple orgasms
I like switching (especially for practical reason), and changing power balances
weapons kink
semi-public sex with nobody actually watching
sex toys
hate sex
dirty talk (also: teasing)
Things I Do Not Want (DNW):
relentless angst
a/b/o
Infidelity
pregnancy
rape (totally fine with dubcon, though)
Wynonna Earp (TV) —Xavier Dolls (Wynonna Earp)
If you want to include other canon characters — that would be awesome, too. Lowkey I ship Dolls with both Wynonna and Doc Holiday, separately and together, but I’d be thrilled with friendships or ambiguous relationships also.
How did he join up with Black Badge? Is there a recruitment program you have to go through -- how did that look like? Was it more like boot camp? (Was it like the Police Academy Movies, and poor Dolls the only sane man?) Was torture a thing -- how did they deal with it?
Did he join Black Badge before or after he became someone different? Does he have family/friends, which he left for some reason? How did they influence him? Do they come and visit him in the Ghost River Triangle? Are they also special, or are they completely baffled by what he does?
What exactly is he? Was he always such a deeply repressed person? Does he ever let go?
What happened to him after the Season 1 finale? Did he get rescued (by Wynonna, Doc Holiday, someone else)? Does he rescue himself? Does he even need to be rescued, or is he being recalled to fight the tentacle monsters invading L.A., or the lizard people beneath New York? I mean, the kidnapping at the end seems pretty involuntary, but his supernatural thing could just be very territorial.
Would also absolutely enjoy if it turns out Xavier Dolls is the reason the Earp’s family curse exists — and now he’s trying to break it but can’t. This could be because maybe he’s immortal, maybe he’s a relative of the original curse-making witch, maybe he tried to conquer the world once and now Black Badge has him under a geas to fix anything they want him to, maybe his family died because of a similar thing.
That said, I would also read a version of his life that is fluffy bunnies and sunshine, and everything goes right for him :D
DNW: major character death, graphic depictions of torture
Original Work — Group: Pirate/Pirate; Group: Crossdressing Regency Lady/Regency Lady; Group: Male Noir Detective/Male Mobster
Crossdressing Regency Lady/Regency Lady
Why is there crossdressing? Is it something mundane, like it being easier to ride in mens clothing (people sell you rooms/horses/land with less of a fuss), or is there some dramatic reason, like inheriting an estate or an earldom? Maybe it’s easier to pretend to be a man than an unmarried woman? Studying at university! Working in the lawyer’s office of their father because he’s sick, and the bills need to be paid, and there is no work for a female lawyer…
Some other plot ideas:
They meet at a ball, and flirt. Then they meet again at the next ball (or the theatre, or gambling halls) and their relationship continues. The crossdressing Lady is very worried about being actually a woman, and pretending to be a man, but the other Lady found out the very first night and is totally cool with it.
Would also enjoy a mystery about the young man that pops up in the neighbourhood, conveniently while the very pretty cousin of a cousin is visiting. Highway robbers! Pirates! Pretending to be her own brother because he’s off to Gretna Green (or wherever) to get married! There are no tropes that could make this bad for me :D
One Lady writes novels under a pseudonym, the other starts a letter exchange. They decide to meet — and that man looks suspiciously like one of the other lady’s childhood friends who definitely did not have brothers.
I would enjoy this in a world without homophobia, just as I would enjoy this if they had to pretend to be a heterosexual couple forever (though I would enjoy it more if they had the support of at least one of their friends/family, or a community behind them)
DNW: gender dysphoria for the character crossdressing
Pirate/Pirate
I would love pirates absolutely anywhere, Scottish smugglers, piracy on rivers,  Mediterranean pirates of pre-Roman Empire, Egyptian pirates, Chinese pirates, privateers, pirates of the Caribbean, pirates in SPACE.
f/f pairings would be great, just as m/m pairings, or f/m, whatever floats your boat (heh)
Some plot ideas:
(All prompts are gender neutral, which is intentional. All prompts are also terribly fluffy which is by no means an indication of preference — I just can’t seem to write deep and dramatic things.):
Two different pirate ships try to stop a ship of loot/weapons/high profile people from arriving at its location. Two of the opposite crew fall in love along the way.
The First Mate oils their muscles, and it’s the best thing that ever happened to this bosun (or the worst, depending). There are various bets about the futility of this most obvious crush.
This one country keeps trying to invade these particular islands, and so the entire nation has taken to piracy whenever that happens. When that country catches on, they send undercover people, who turn out to like piracy after all.
The smuggling cave is only accessible during low tide, and it’s only known to the pirates, yet their stash of high-grade alcohol/sauerkraut/sails/unobtainium  keeps vanishing, and so they set out a trap, and it turns out to be another pirate who needs it to help heal some other dudes.
The captain is so throughly annoyed by two of his crew members, he makes them sleep in the same cabin (or the hammocks nearest to each other) for the entire voyage, and they keep falling into the wrong bed because of reasons. (Optionally, hate-sex — or they are united by their hatred for this clearly unreasonable captain and overthrow him.)
Please no modern pirates, or rape
Male Noir Detective/Male Mobster
How does this relationship start? Are they childhood friends? Does someone get murdered, and they team up to solve it? Is the mobster in the way of an investigation and obstructing it, while trying to solve it himself?
I'm not sure from the tagset if the former is a police officer or a private eye, either would be fantastic. I don’t have a preference for the place or time setting!
Do they hate each other? Is it a slightly antagonistic relationship?
Do they like each other? Reasons for why criminals and law enforcement people could like each other: one is running the only speakeasies in town, the other really likes to get drunk; crapshot government, and the mobster provides a much needed service (maybe schools, needle exchanges, safe abortions, soup kitchens)
Or is it just because they are the only smart person in their respective business?
Would love some exploration of moral justifications of differing view-points.
Also here for pure smut: hate sex, switching power dynamics, ill-advised drunken one-night stands, sex for blackmail reasons
Crossover Fandom — Group: Cher Horowitz (Clueless)/Elle Woods (Legally Blonde)
Do they meet in law school? Or before, or after? I want them to be competent, and brilliant, and dazzle each other with their excellent taste in clothes. I want them to be besieged by terrible human beings, and persevere. I want them to cuddle on a sofa, and inspire so many girls to do great things. I want them to grow as human beings, and be kind and positive, and succeed. (And I want one of them to be President.)
Also excellent would be: Elle does criminal law, Cher is in charity work, and they need to solve this embezzlement case.
But I'm also here for the porn, because that would also be amazing. Or like, buying a house together. Getting married. Deciding to adopt a puppy together.
Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch — Group: Thomas Nightingale/Alexander Seawoll, Group: Thomas Nightingale/Varvara Sidorovna Tamonina
I love the ambiguous relationships Thomas Nightingale has with people. For all his stand-offish personality, he seems to have a great empathy, next to his principles that have clearly change with the times.
Thomas Nightingale/Seawoll
Is the negotiating about cases a sex thing? If so, is it hate sex, or the "I really like the way you look but the bullshit that comes out of your mouth"-sex? Is there going to be a romantic relationship? Is Seawoll secretly into the whole magic thing, and super delighted by the simplest things?
Would also love canon style cases — maybe they at first think magic plays a part, but then it turns out the solution to the case lies with mundane police work?
Also a thing I would read: An accident turns Seawoll into a genius loci, a being of magic which he’s entirely sceptic about. He goes to Nightingale for help.
Or: Seawoll needs to explain to some government official why they have a department of two people, and Nightingale swoops in to save him — now Seawoll makes it his personal mission to have Nightingale explain each and every of their necessary budget points to the appropriate people.
Thomas Nightingale/Varvara Sidorovna Tamonina
Maybe Nightingale is attracted to ethically challenged witches? Do they get into intense discussions about magic? How does it feel to have an unexpected contemporary, but a foreign-educated one?
Does she help solve a case, and Nightingale shows his appreciation? Does she meticulously torture him with her feminine wiles, while she's technically their prisoner and Thomas won't touch her — except he does so she'll share her information?
Psych — Group: Burton Guster/Shawn Spencer
These are the fluffiest prompts ever, and I’m sorry.
Gus has Shawn on his insurance plan, he's doing Shawn's income taxes, and they own a house together. I want people assuming they are married. I want them to get offers to hold "representation speeches" or "sensitivity training" for the police officer they are working with, people wanting to know if it was difficult finding work after coming out, and Shawn hilariously missing the point, and Gus being quietly embarrassed.
Or a "waking up married" scenario where it's easier to just stay together, because that way Gus has to only do one set of paperwork.
Or anyone quietly investigating if the two of them are together and coming to the wrong (right?) conclusions. (Shawn's dad? A potential date?)
Or a murder happens at Gus place of business, and Shawn comes in to investigate, and apparently all of Gus' colleagues think he's the husband? And of course Shawn plays it up.
Also great: Gus and Shawn have a huge fight, and they don’t speak to each other for a month, and the people around them are tip-toeing around if they have broken up — while the fight was about leaving the socks lying around, and they aren’t even together, wtf — but then they have make-up sex, and everyone is relieved.
Smut is also very welcome! As are other canon characters, and OCs.
DNW: darkfic
(Please feel free to anon me if there’s anything confusing and/or wrong. Sometimes I confuse myself!)
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