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neonweeknds · 2 years

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what a time - chapter eight

*u can read here or on ao3*

chapter eight - one minute left to live

summary - Late-night realizations and heartfelt confessions.

Denali had no idea what she was doing.

As she stared out of the glass door separating her from one of the many balconies of Rosé’s Beverly Hills home, Denali contemplated just locking herself inside. She didn’t know what the fuck made her decide to room with Rosé for a couple of days.

It wasn’t too late to get a hotel, was it?

The snap of a tree branch nearby ultimately gave Denali her answer.

It was just her luck that a fucking hurricane was the cause of a disaster that was bound to happen. Until a couple of hours ago when her flight got cancelled, she didn’t even know that Los Angeles had hurricanes. The news channels were blowing up about it. Apparently, this was a one in every two hundred years type of natural disaster. It hit San Diego pretty badly already and so far, LA was just getting the after-effects with a lot of heavy wind and rain.

Hopefully, it didn’t get much worse than that.

It seemed as though the weather shifted the second Denali agreed to stay with Rosé. When she first left the airport after the original delay of her flight, the skies were cloudy and cool. Then they left the restaurant and it started down-pouring. Denali was wondering if that was the universe screaming at her that this was a bad idea because this was never part of the plan.

Too little too late now.

As if it wasn’t already weird staying with your ex-girlfriend, Rosé seemed to be up to something. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but after coming back from Mexico, her patience for secrets was little to none.

She just had a headache thinking about the last two weeks, leading up to today: her dad, the cancer, the money and the cherry on top being this cluster fuck situation with Rosé.

They were exes, yet they were acting like best friends. They were awkward but there was a hesitant romance lingering in the air. Neither of them were sure of what move to make next.

Twenty minutes ago, Denali was practically in a relaxation coma due to Rosé’s incredible water pressure in the shower. Now, she was overthinking too much to the point where she was sure her brain would implode if she went on any longer.

She wanted to sleep.

The room Rosé has set her up in was nice. That was how Denali felt about the whole house.

Nice.

There wasn’t anything special about it. It looked like every other Los Angeles mansion you picture in your head for celebrities. Strange architecture, white everything, weird sculptures and absolutely no decorations. The house just felt so impersonal. It seemed like nobody lived here. Denali wasn’t even sure that Rosé did if it weren’t for the guitar displayed by the corner of the crisp white L-shaped couch. The house was spotless, untouched and ultimately, lonely.

When they first pulled up to Rosé’s house, courtesy of her driver, she had given Denali a quick tour before dragging her to the only place that felt like home.

At least for Rosé.

Her music room which also doubled as a recording studio was something that Denali didn’t think she would ever find fascinating, but she was wrong. Rosé had over a dozen guitars littered around the room along with some drums, keyboards and percussions she couldn’t identify. There was a recording booth with some of the awards Rosé had won over the years lining the walls. There was an area where Rosé produced her music…Rosé tried to explain it properly to Denali but the technicalities were too much information after her jet lag. In one corner of the room, there were even a couple of bean bag chairs which Denali had a great time laying on. The thing she loved most about this room was the smile Rosé had on her face while she went and explained every little detail to Denali. Usually, she couldn’t care less but when it came to seeing the pure amount of joy while Rosé simply just talked about making music, what kind of guitar she preferred to use for a specific sound or a funny story that was associated with a specific award, Denali would listen to her all day of it made her that happy.

As promised, Rosé did in fact show her the Blackpink song she was featured on and Denali did in fact almost faint. She didn’t know she could get this excited over a simple song. It was amazing.

But then there was a strange sense of guilt that washed over Denali and her mood shifted entirely. Had she always been this blind?

Music is what made Rosé’s world turn. Music is what made her get up in the morning. Music is what makes her smile above anything else.

How could she ever take that away?

Denali thought back to a decade ago when she had just found out Rosé had gotten her record deal. She hated her. She hated her for leaving, she hated her for not saying goodbye properly and she hated her for giving up the five years they shared together so easily.

It wasn’t fair that Denali was subconsciously pissed at her for pursuing her dreams the same as she did. She was being selfish and she knew it. Granted, Denali recognized that one of the reasons she was mad was because Rosé’s dream seemed to work out perfectly while hers didn’t. Rosé was doing what she had always wanted to and Denali was stuck at a dead-end job teaching kids how to do a two-step.

That wasn’t fair to Rosé.

Denali hadn’t seen Rosé perform for a stadium of people but if it was anything like when she performed for Denali, enclosed in her tiny bedroom with just a guitar, she knew that this is what Rosé was meant to do with her life.

Denali needed to stop holding it against her. She was too caught up in the past to realize what— or technically who, was sitting in front of her, wasn’t going to sit around and wait forever.

God, why was this so difficult. She didn’t know what she wanted anymore.

After Rosé finished showing Denali the song, the jet lag took over her body and she felt immensely tired. Rosé immediately ushered her to the bedroom she was staying in and left her alone with a simple “I'll be downstairs if you need me,”

Denali made good use of the shower and was now trying to go to sleep in the ginormous king-sized bed. She stared at the ceiling for way too long, hoping she could just fall asleep in the mountains of pillows but she stayed awake. Maybe it was the storm outside with the shaking trees and vicious rain that was stopping her from sleeping.

No, she knew it was the storm.

Ever since she was a child, she had never been able to fall asleep while it was raining— it was even harder during storms, especially one that was shaking the house every so often because of the wind. She assumed that she would grow out of it as she got older but she didn’t and nothing seemed to help.

Except for one thing— but that would be asking too much of Rosé. She was already letting her stay here for free so singing her to sleep was not an option. It was also a little embarrassing for her.

Denali physically felt tired but she couldn’t for the life of her, fall asleep. An hour went by and she was awake as ever. How does one person go from extremely tired to wide awake in no time at all? Knowing Rosé was just downstairs made her heart skip a beat.

Fuck my life, she thought. What was she doing right now?

Before Denali could change her mind, she got out of bed because there was no way she was going to fall asleep any time soon. She’ll just go see what Rosé’s doing— there’s no harm in that, right?

Denali’s hair was parted into two messy dutch braids to hopefully keep the frizz down after she showered. Luckily, before she left Mexico, her mom had done her laundry for her so she had a suitcase full of clean clothes. Denali wore some sweatpants along with a t-shirt that was three sizes too big for her.

She left the bedroom door open behind her as she made her way down the stairs to find Rosé. When Rosé said she would be downstairs, she didn’t exactly tell her where. This house was huge and it was a fucking maze and Denali had no idea where she was going. She just kept turning corners, going down some stairs and opening doors, hoping for the best.

She made a stop after going down a spiral staircase which led into a movie theatre. Denali just about rolled her eyes at the sight because of course. What else was she hiding? A bowling alley? A tennis court? An indoor pool?

She sighed and turned back around, heading for the door again but the sound of a guitar caught her ears. She looked around the room and recognized the sound coming from a door on the other side of the theatre. The closer she got, the clearer the sound became.

It was Rosé singing, her voice following the smooth strum of a guitar. The door must lead to the recording studio. As she pressed her ear against the door, she missed it so much. This was different than hearing it a million times through the static of the speaker during rehearsals or listening to three seconds of one of her songs on the radio in the car before she changed it.

This was pure perfection.

Denali felt like a lovesick teenager again, thinking of the times when Rosé would sing to her quietly in her room. Rosé always assumed she was sleeping but Denali never wanted to miss out on the moment.

Was this creepy? She could already hear Mik’s voice in the back of her head calling her a scaredy-cat for staying behind the door instead of opening it and making herself known. Olivia would probably say something rational to Denali that would make her feel better and come to her senses.

But neither of them were here right now and it was just Denali and Rosé.

She didn’t open the door. Instead, she slid down the wall next to it and leaned her head against it. Denali wasn’t sure how long she sat there, listening to the soft sound of Rosé’s voice through the tiny crack under the door. The lyrics were a little muffled but she could still make out some of the words.

Just like ten years ago, she fell asleep with Rosé’s voice lingering in her dreams.

Rosé couldn’t go five minutes without thinking about the brunette sleeping upstairs. After Denali retired to one of the spare bedrooms, she went back into her recording studio.

She was itching to write something and had been ever since Denali stepped foot into her house.

Rosé never thought she would be thankful for a hurricane. Without this storm, Denali would probably be back home in Chicago and Rosé would be here, too chicken to call her. This was the push she needed.

She strummed her guitar and fiddled with the piano until her fingers physically hurt. She had written something— something she didn’t actively hate so much so that she was going to finish it with her producer later in the week for it to possibly be on the album.

The storm outside has settled slightly but after checking the news reports, it looked like Denali would be here for a few more days. The rain was still harping down the glass windows of her home but the house was no longer shaking because of the high winds. It was late— almost ten o’clock and Rosé left the studio because she could no longer ignore the noises her stomach was making, otherwise, she would’ve stayed and played her guitar until her fingers went numb. Usually, she would just order food but that didn’t seem like an option right now. She ventured into her kitchen as she pondered on what she could make to eat. Probably not much because she couldn’t even remember the last time she did groceries.

When Rosé opened her fridge, she was surprised to find it almost fully stocked with all of her favourite foods— and a shit tone of fruits and veggies. She knew that was instantly Utica’s doing.

I need to give her a raise, she told herself as she started pulling out ingredients to make a simple pasta dish.

Twenty minutes later, dinner was served— if you could even call it that since it was almost midnight. As Rosé sat down at her kitchen island, she looked out towards her empty living room, catching sight of a certain girl's hoodie that was draped across the couch.

Rosé had texted Denali letting her know there was some food if she wanted any but she hadn’t gotten a reply before remembering her number was still blocked. She just assumed the girl was sleeping away her jet lag anyways. When she finished eating, she contemplated going back down to the studio but then Symone’s voice lingered in the back of her mind and instead she trudged towards her bedroom to get some rest.

While passing the hallway where Denali slept away in one of her guest rooms, she was surprised to see the door open to the bedroom Denali was in right now. Maybe she was awake. Rosé carefully tiptoed towards the room and poked her head inside, expecting to see Denali on her phone or lounging around but the room was empty.

She frowned and walked further into the room and there was no sign of Denali anywhere. Rosé didn’t want to panic but she could feel the worry rising in her throat.

She left the room and checked the others down the hallway but again, they came up empty.

It occurred to her that maybe Denali left. Would she do that without telling her?

She returned to the living room and realized that Denali couldn’t have left because her shoes were still by the door.

Rosé continued checking every single room in her house— why did she have so many random unused rooms? She headed towards the basement again, where her recording studio was and began checking all of those rooms.

Bathrooms. Empty.

Bedrooms. Empty.

The bar. Empty.

Movie Theatre. Not empty.

Denali was sleeping soundly against the wall right by the door of her recording studio. Rosé would stand there for longer if she didn’t already feel creepy watching her sleep.

It occurred to Rosé that she must’ve fallen asleep sometime when she was in the studio working on her song. It also occurred to Rosé that she had to be very uncomfortable leaning against the wall. Without overthinking it, Rosé tiptoed into the room and carefully picked up Denali and placed her on a nearby couch in the room.

Thank god she was a heavy sleeper and showed no signs of waking up. She placed a blanket over the sleeping body and dimmed the lights, choosing to leave the room so Denali could have a little privacy.

Now that her worry lessened, Rosé sat at her makeshift bar and contemplated pouring herself some whiskey or settling for just water. Tonight, she went for the water though she can’t say she wasn’t tempted by the alcohol. How come Denali was sleeping in the movie theatre, against the wall of all places? How long had she been sleeping there? Because they had gotten to Rosé’s house in the afternoon and now it was nighttime. And how come she didn’t alert Rosé of her presence, all she was doing was writing a song—

The sound of wind outside caught Rosé’s attention. Then it dawned on her. If she remembered anything about Denali from a decade ago, is that she couldn't sleep if it was raining. Rosé was always the one to get her to fall asleep when it rained whether that be by singing to her through the phone or doing it in person.

The thought of her not being able to sleep tugged at her heart. Rosé stood up from her seat at the bar and went back to check on Denali, leaning against the doorway. Though, instead of finding her peacefully sleeping, she was pulling the blanket close to her body as she thrashed from side to side with a frown on her face. Rosé watched as Denali had a nightmare and an instant wave of worry washed over her.

Immediately, she was crouching at her side, poking her arm gently to wake her. Yet, despite doing that, Denali continued to frown and showed no sign of waking up. This time, a little more forcefully, Rosé shook her arm and called out her name, “Nali!”

The brunette shot up from the couch, panting as if she had just run a marathon. One of her hands clutched onto Rosé’s arms tightly and her baby hairs were clinging to her forehead as she looked around the room. “Nali— Nali, hey…it’s okay. You’re okay. It was just a dream. You’re okay,” Rosé whispered, not wanting to startle her.

Denali’s eyes met Rosé’s for a moment but then she shook her head, covering her face with her hands. She was embarrassed, Rosé could tell. She wouldn’t dare to look her in the eyes again. Rosé sat on the ground, by her side, unsure if Denali wanted her to leave or stay. But then Rosé started rubbing her back in soothing circular motions and the way Denali reached down to clutch her hand desperately like she was afraid Rosé was going to disappear, gave her the answer she was looking for.

Rosé wasn’t sure how much time had passed before Denali spoke up, “My dad he—“ she visibly shuttered, “He’s sick,” her voice broke and so did Rosé’s heart.

“I’m sorry, Nali,”

No wonder she had been so down when she returned from her trip. It all makes sense now. She would have to give Denali’s family her best wishes later on.

Denali shrugged, “I only found out when I went to visit…he’s been sick for over a year and I just found out,” she said, “It was too late for him, in the dream…” and Rosé suddenly understood.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Rosé asked and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared to hear the answer. Denali shrugged again, “Mom said he would be but even I could tell she was fucking terrified Rosé. I’m terrified that one day, I’m going to get a call telling me he’s getting worse and that there’s nothing I can do—“

“You can’t think like that—“ Rosé tried to cut in.

“Please, don’t give some fake optimistic bullshit, it’s not going to work,” Denali shut down, “I’ve had time— lots of it on the plane. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time just thinking and that says a lot for someone who overthinks every aspect of their life. It’s just—“ she paused, “I keep thinking about what would’ve happened if I never found out when I went to Mexico. If that lady never came up to me in the bakery would my mom have told me?…Would it be too late when and if did eventually find out or would I have been left wondering…you know?”

“...Okay yeah but…I don’t think I’m entirely following,” Rosé tilted her head in confusion. Denali then gripped her hands tight and pulled her up to sit beside her on the couch, looking at her so intently and with such focus.

“I’ve spent ten years wondering and I can’t do it anymore and maybe this is a bad time but—“

“Nali, I really don’t understand what you’re getting at. You know about your dad now so—“

“I just want to get it out in the open before I back out and change my mind because I don’t want it to—“

“Don’t want it to what?” she couldn’t help but interrupt. Rosé had no idea where this was going.

“I don’t want it to be too late for us, Rosé,”

Rosé wasn’t sure what it felt like for time to stop but she was almost certain it was this exact moment. “Uh— you…what?” She knew she sounded like a broken record but those were the only things floating around her mind.

“Okay, please don’t interrupt me because I’m really scared to say this right now and I just need you to not interrupt me...please,”

Rosé nodded to show that she understood.

“Fuck, okay...shit— um, I guess it’s like…my entire life, I’ve always had this plan. Grow up, figure skate, go to the Olympics and win gold, retire and open up a non-profit and in the midst of all that, get married and have three kids with a shit tone of dogs— more than we could handle. See! I said ‘we’ without even thinking about it! That’s the thing, you’ve always been a part of my plan since you told those assholes to fuck off when we were kids. I never once doubted that you would be a part of my life...never. But then you left and suddenly my plan wasn’t the same anymore and it just kept getting more off track when I got disqualified from the Olympics for shit I didn’t even do,” she breathed out, “I just think that...after a while, you realize having a plan is stupid because they never work out and maybe that’s why we never worked out...because we weren’t supposed to at the time. It wasn’t a part of the plan. Our plan. But...you know the worst part of it all? I never— not once for ten years did that ever stop me from thinking about you. I never stopped wondering about you, I never stopped wishing that we could work things out,” Denali was staring at Rosé so deeply. She could feel her heart rate pick up speed.

“Seeing you again…I thought I would finally get this closure that I’d been wanting so badly for a decade. Maybe having a plan never works out because that’s part of the plan. Maybe we don’t get to choose our plans. Maybe plans are overrated but no matter what mine were or what I thought they were— I still wanted you. Despite everything, I still wanted you. It hurt like hell when you left...and I didn’t think I would ever be able to get over it. It hurt so badly yet I still wanted you to come back and tell me it was be gonna be okay. No matter how hard I tried to forget you or move on from you after you left— I couldn’t. As bad as it hurt that you left me…these past ten years have just proven that loving you would always come out on top. Because Rosé I love you so fucking much and I don’t want it to be too late before you knew. I don’t want to lose you— not again,”

“Nali…” Rosé was scared that this was all a figment of her imagination. “You’re not going to lose me. Never,”

“Did you mean it?” Denali asked shyly.

“Mean what?”

“When you told me you still loved me,”

“I’ve never meant anything more,” Rosé answered without skipping a beat.

“Really?” she could hear the uncertainty in Denali’s voice and she wanted to scream at herself for causing the insecurity.

“I love you Denali, I do. So fucking much,” she paused to try and collect her thoughts because there was so much going on right now it was difficult to find the words, “You have been the love of my life since I laid eyes on you in that cupcake dress,” she chuckled and so did Denali, “...I didn’t know it at the time but I knew you’d change my life. Things aren’t always gonna be perfect and I’ve fucked up one too many times but I need you to know that I never stopped loving you. You are the only person I’ve ever loved and you’re the only person I want to love. It hurts sometimes— that you think you aren’t worth loving when you’re worth everything to me. And believe me when I say I will spend every single day for the rest of my life proving it to you if that’s what it takes for you to let me in again…so please, Nali, let me in…let me love you,”

“Say it again,” Denali urged, her voice quiet.

“I love you,” Rosé leaned her forehead against the brunettes, “More than you’ll ever know. I love you,” she would never get tired of saying it and she hoped Denali wouldn’t get tired of hearing it.

Now that it was out in the open, Rosé would work her ass off to rid any doubt or uncertainty Denali felt.

Rosé’s lips pressed themselves against Denali’s forehead, shutting her eyes momentarily. When they opened again, Rosé could see the tears slipping down Denali’s bare cheeks. She reached up to wipe the tears with the pad of her thumb, “Honey, please don’t cry,”

Denali scoffed and sniffled, “Shut up, I am not crying,”

Rosé laughed, her hand moving to rest on Denali’s cheek. The brunette smiled, “Can you say it again?”

“I love you, Denali,” she said without hesitation and watched as Denali’s eyes watered once again as she leaned slowly towards the singer. Rosé was suddenly aware that she could smell the coconut shampoo Denali used. Her hand that was previously holding her cheek moved down to rest on her waist. Denali wrapped her arms around Rosé’s neck and she found herself leaning in at the touch. She watched as Denali bit her lip— something she had always done before kissing her.

Rosé had to shake herself out of this trance she was in but it was difficult when her dream girl was sitting in front of her, eyes shining with happiness as she moved closer and closer.

She wanted to kiss Denali, there was no question about it but she knew deep down it was wrong. They still had a lot to talk about and she didn’t want to fuck anything up now that she finally had Denali in her arms again. “Wait,”

Denali pulled back in an instant, “I’m sorry, I thought you wanted—“

“No, no, no, please don’t be sorry! I do want to! More than anything, you have no idea, Nali but…I don’t want to fuck anything up. I know we’re both very emotional right now—“

Denali cracked up, letting out the prettiest laugh as her arms fell from around Rosé’s neck, “—but we still need to talk some more and I really just…” Rosé trailed off, “I want it to be perfect,”

After a few moments in silence, Denali nodded, “You’re right— maybe it’s best we don’t rush things,”

“I promise, I don’t think I can wait too long to kiss the hell out of you. I have years to make up for,” the blush on Denali’s cheek made Rosé cheer on the inside, “How about we just go to bed…it’s late already and I have a hard time sleeping during storms like these…it’d be easier if I had someone by my side,” Rosé smirked, unable to stop herself from teasing Denali a little. Ultimately, it was worth the smile that found its way onto Denali’s face.

“Smooth, Rosie,”

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neonweeknds · 2 years

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what a time - chapter nine

*u can read here or on ao3*

chapter nine - wishful thinking

summary - Denali updates Mik and Liv about her relationship and our girls talk to figure some things out.

If someone told Denali a year ago that at twenty-seven, she would be semi-back together with her ex-girlfriend turned rockstar from her childhood— she would’ve assumed they were insane and in need of immediate medical attention.

But it was true.

Instead of waking up alone, in her quiet bedroom in Chicago, she woke up in the comfort of Rosé’s arms.

Last night, after they talked— or more like confessed their feelings, they ended up in the singer's bed. It crossed Denali’s mind that it may be too soon to be sleeping in the same bed together but at the same time, they had already wasted so much time tiptoeing around one another that sleeping and only sleeping wouldn’t cause any harm. That and the storm went on well into the night and it did help to have someone by her side— though she would never admit it to Rosé as it would only boost her ego to know she was right.

The sun was peering through the curtains in Rosé’s bedroom, shining against her pale skin. Denali was able to study every freckle, every crease and every line on the singer's face while she slept peacefully. Sometime while they slept, the storm must’ve stopped because instead of rain and wind all Denali heard was the sound of birds chirping outside like in some sort of fairytale.

Except this was no fairytale and was her very weird reality.

One of Rosé’s arms was wrapped loosely around the curve of Denali’s waist and her face was against the pillow. For the first time in forever, the singer looked carefree, youthful and happy— without a worry in the world as she slept next to Denali.

Denali felt the exact same.

Granted, they had a lot to talk about still but none of it mattered to Denali if this was something she would get to wake up to every morning.

The alarm clock on Rosé’s bedside table indicated that it was almost eleven o’clock and the brunette couldn’t remember the last time she slept in this long without worrying that she was wasting her time when she could be out and doing something productive. Right now, she didn’t care at all. She was going to milk this for as long as she can before she had to go back to Chicago.

Chicago.

Which was thousands of miles away from Rosé. She found herself frowning but quickly shook the thoughts away because she didn’t want to ruin anything. Rosé was right beside her and that was good enough for now.

Slowly, she removed Rosé’s arm from her waist and carefully got out of bed. She looked around her bedroom since she didn’t have a chance to last night because the two girls went straight to bed after their conversation.

The bedroom, unlike the rest of the house, felt a little more lived in. Rosé had clothes littered all over the ground, most of them coming from a suitcase that was opened on the ground. Denali gulped at the thought of Rosé leaving.

Not now, she desperately told herself.

Of course, under a shelf of awards, Rosé had more guitars leaning against the wall. Denali chuckled and started wondering how many guitars she actually had compared to how many she actively used. The signature on one caught Denali’s eye. She paused for a moment because she wasn’t sure if what she was looking at was real.

Though she moved closer to the instrument and the words were unmistakable.

“To my star, my heart, my Rosie

Happy Birthday

I love you.”

Denali felt her heart tighten at the sight. She had kept the guitar Denali gifted her for her sixteenth birthday. Denali remembered working endlessly at the corner store on their street and spending hours tutoring kids at school to make enough money to buy this for Rosé.

It never occurred to Denali that she would’ve kept it after their breakup but it was right here beside her bed, in her bedroom, after all these years.

They really were oblivious idiots.

Denali chuckled and wondered if Rosé kept any other memorabilia from their relationship because she knew she had. She smiled as she left the room, carefully shutting the door to not wake Rosé’s sleeping figure.

Maybe she could make Rosé some breakfast though her cooking skills didn’t surpass making a bowl of cereal. She trudged towards the room she was staying in previously and grabbed a sweater from her suitcase because it was cold inside this house with the air conditioning.

While she was putting on her hoodie, a constant buzzing sound had her searching for the source when she found her phone buried under the blankets of the bed.

Her eyes widened at the number of messages and missed calls, courtesy of none other than Mik. Some of them were from Liv but the majority were coming from her best friend. Just as Denali went to reply to him, she received an incoming call to FaceTime instead.

She cringed but swiped to answer nonetheless. The sight she was met with was Mik frowning on the other side of the camera, “About damn time!” he shouted.

Denali rolled her eyes as she made her way out of the room and towards the kitchen, trying not to get lost on the way, “I texted you!”

“Yeah because ‘Flight got cancelled, staying with Rosé’ is supposed to reassure me! Why didn’t you answer? I’ve been messaging you like crazy!” he screeched.

“Thanks for that by the way,” she replied sarcastically, “I fell asleep,” she shrugged like it was no big deal.

“What? For twenty-four hours? I thought you were dead!”

Denali sighed, “Mik, I’m fine. I told you I went to lunch with Gigi and her friend who’s apparently also Rosé’s friend— I’m not sure it’s all very confusing but when my flight was cancelled, she offered me a place to stay,”

“I know, I’ve seen the pictures of you leaving the restaurant— you guys are like, blowing up the internet right now gorg,”

Denali tried not to let that little piece of information freak her out as she changed the subject, “So what’s the big deal?”

Mik seemed flabbergasted, “You’re joking, right? Is she joking?” he turned his head and that was when Denali realized Liv was probably with him.

“Hey Liv!” she said into the phone.

“Hi, Nali…we were just a little worried about you, you know, especially after what happened the last time you saw each other. It was just sudden and we wanted to check up. Though I told Mik sending one message would be more than enough…” she teased.

“I thought she was dead! I thought you were dead— you’re my best friend, it’s my duty to make sure you’re not dead!”

Denali chuckled. He was dramatic but she appreciated his concern, “I can assure you I’m not dead. We came back to her place, she showed me around, I showered, fell asleep, we talked and then we fell asleep again so—“

“We? What do you mean we?” Mik asked.

“You guys slept together?” Liv questioned, finally coming into the screen beside her boyfriend. Denali sighed, she couldn’t lie to her best friends, “Yeah but—“

“No way! You broke your dry spell with an international rockstar?—“

Denali’s eyes widened at the assumption before shaking her head vigorously, “No! No! No!” she suddenly whispered, afraid Rosé would somehow hear her, “No we did not sleep together! No! Don’t even— just, no! We just slept together. In the same bed. We just slept, as in sleeping, that’s it!” she clarified.

“You’re going to give me a heart attack,” Mik groaned.

“You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack if you keep working yourself up over us,” Denali pointed out.

Mik grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, “So there is an us…” he trailed off.

She couldn’t hide the smile that made its way onto her face, “…there may…possibly…be…an us…I think,”

Though Mik was halfway across the country, his scream was enough to cause temporary damage to her eardrums. Poor Liv.

“Shhh! Relax! I’m not really sure what it is even…”

“What do you mean?” Liv asked.

“Well last night…we talked about things— feelings and kinda just,” she sighed and took a deep breath, “I told her I still loved her and…she said the same,” Denali felt her heart flutter at the memory.

“So what’s the issue?” Liv asked while Mik freaked out on the sidelines.

“There isn’t one…I don’t think. After we talked we went to bed and I mean— here we are now but we still have a fuck tone of stuff to talk about...like if we’re gonna do long distance or how this is gonna work considering she’s literally famous...and I’m just anxious I’m going to mess things up or something— I don’t know. I did tell her last night that I didn’t want to waste any more time just waiting around, you know.”

“Did you guys kiss?” Mik interrupted eagerly like a kid in a candy store.

Denali shook her head, “No! That’s the thing! We almost did but she stopped it!”

“Really?” both Mik and Liv said at the same time.

“Yeah but it was really sweet…she said she wanted to wait for the right time, she wanted it to be perfect,”

“Wow! She has got it bad for you, gorg!” Mik laughed, “So what’s next? You gonna talk to her today or…?” he trailed off.

She nodded, “Ideally…I just want to make sure we’re on the same page before it goes any further,”

“Where is she now?” Liv asked.

Denali’s head nodded towards the stairs, “In her room. Sleeping. I was going to make her breakfast but—“

Mik cut her off and burst out laughing, “You? Cooking? Cooking voluntarily for someone? Man, you’ve got it bad for her too!”

Denali rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah. I’d take her out for breakfast or something but I’m not sure that’s the best idea all things considered with those pictures online of us…”

“That’s probably best,” Liv agreed.

The three of them continued talking and catching up on things while Liv guided Denali on how to make breakfast without burning the house down. She made herself some coffee with Rosé’s fancy machine that looked like it hadn’t been used in months. She caught them up on her trip to Mexico and the news about her family which was tough considering her friends knew her parents well enough.

That was something else she needed to figure out soon— a way to help her parents out.

Right now though, she didn’t want to focus on the negatives now that there was seemingly a light at the end of the tunnel. Besides, she had little time left with Rosé and she didn’t want to dwell on the shitty aspects of her life while they were together.

They continued catching up until Liv had to leave for work so it was just her and Mik on the phone for a little while as he waited for his first appointment to show up. “Nali?” he asked.

“Hm?” she responded as she continued aimlessly mixing the pancake batter.

“Are you sure?”

Denali paused, “About?”

“About you and Rosé,” he said, “Like, I know I’ve been teasing you for months since you told Liv and me about her and I know I keep joking about you getting back together but…are you sure? After what happened in New York— I just don’t want to watch you go through that again. I can’t stand seeing you hurt,”

“Mik…” Denali sighed.

“Just give me some peace of mind here— I don’t know her like you do. But I trust you and if this is what you want, I’ll support it. Always. So are you sure? Cause if she hurts you again I will make sure her fingers won’t ever be able to pluck another guitar string ever again. I could totally take her— there’s a reason I’ve been doing pilates!” Mik shrugged.

“Okay, okay...you can relax, there’s no need for threats. I believe you, ” Denali chuckled.

“What kind of friend am I if I don’t at least scare her a little?”

“I think you’ve done plenty of that during those last few rehearsals,” she told him.

Mik groaned, “Is that a yes or a no?”

Denali nodded and smiled, “I’ve never been more sure in my life Mik. And I can confidently say that. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, next week or next month but I do know that whatever happens, I want it to happen with Rosé. I want to make this work with her,”

Mik watched as his best friend glowed and beamed with joy through the screen. Even miles away, he could tell how happy she was and so he nodded in contentment with her answer, “Good,”

—

The last thing Rosé remembered before she fell asleep was the quiet sound of Denali’s breathing and the smell of her shampoo as she laid in her arms.

So she was a little confused when she woke up to an empty bed.

Her first thought was that she dreamed it all up. There was no way that last night actually happened. She and Denali hadn’t confessed their feelings for one another and they were still just ex-girlfriends who were tiptoeing around their feelings.

But then she caught a glimpse of a scrunchie that she knew for a fact belonged to Denali after seeing it in her hair last night and there was no way for it to end up in her room if last night hadn’t happened.

Rosé didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume Denali ran off again. There were plenty of logical explanations as to why she wasn’t with her in bed. She could be using the bathroom or watching tv in the living room or—

The faint sound of voices suddenly echoed throughout the house, making Rosé instantly feel calmer.

Denali was downstairs.

She didn’t leave.

She was still here.

Rosé took her time getting out of bed, not wanting to interrupt whatever conversation her girlfriend was having— were they girlfriends now? She wasn’t sure exactly but after last night she hoped that was the direction they were heading towards.

After she had given it some time, she started making her way down the stairs to hopefully find Denali so they could make sense of what happened last night. The further down the stairs she got, the more familiar the voice on the phone became. Rosé could immediately tell she was on the phone with Mik. Though she didn’t know him well, his voice and presence were hard to forget.

But before she could announce her presence in the room, the next words to come out of Mik’s mouth made Rosé freeze on the steps. “Just give me some peace of mind here— I don’t know her like you do. But I trust you and if this is what you want, I’ll support it. Always. So are you sure? Cause if she hurts you again I will make sure her fingers won’t ever be able to pluck another guitar string ever again. I could totally take her— there’s a reason I’ve been doing pilates!” Rosé could hear the worry in her friend's voice. She didn’t blame him, their history was confusing and complicated and he wanted what was best for her. And Rosé without a doubt believed his threats…he was scary when you messed with the people he cared about. She had learned that much with his evil glares and snarky remarks during rehearsals months ago.

“Okay, okay...you can relax, there’s no need for threats. I believe you,” she heard Denali answer. “What kind of friend am I if I don’t at least scare her a little?” he responded.

Ah, the testament of a true friend. It made Rosé chuckle quietly.

“I think you’ve done plenty of that during those last few rehearsals,” Rosé listened to Denali say. Rosé didn’t know someone’s stare could be so deadly until she was met with Mik’s during those times.

Rosé peaked her head around the corner and was able to finally catch sight of Denali. She was leaning against her marble counter as she FaceTimed her friend, who only groaned at her, “Is that a yes or a no?” he questioned.

Though she could barely see her face, she could instantly tell that Denali was smiling by the way she relaxed and nodded into the camera. Was Rosé wrong to be a little nervous to hear what Denali’s answer would be? Because she was. “I’ve never been more sure in my life Mik. And I can confidently say that. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, next week or next month but I do know that whatever happens, I want it to happen with Rosé. I want to make this work with her,”

Rosé barely had the time to hear Mik’s reply before she was tumbling forward down the last steps. Leaning forward around the corner caused her to lose her balance and fall flat on her hands, effectively making a loud noise to alert everyone of her presence.

“Rosie?” she heard Denali call out, “Holy shit, are you okay?” the voice came closer as Rosé stood up from the ground slowly.

Nothing felt broken so physically, she was okay but emotionally, she was embarrassed.

“Rosie? Aw, that’s so cute, look at you two being all—“ Mik started but was promptly cut off by Denali, “Mik, I’ll call you again later, okay?”

He groaned, “Uh, rude! What happened to bros before hoe’s—“

“Bye! Love you,” Mik’s voice could be heard complaining up until Denali ended the call.

She had a hand on her hip with a small smirk tipping on the edge of her lips, “You know, eavesdropping isn’t very polite,”

If her hair was still pink she was sure her face would be the same shade. “I mean…this is my house so am I really eavesdropping…” she said only because she was embarrassed she got caught.

Denali laughed, “You make a fair point,” she paused, “Hear anything interesting?” she tilted her head teasingly.

��Oh you know, just some declarations of love, nothing new,” she shrugged.

Denali chuckled at her lame attempt to make a joke. The two girls just stood, standing in front of each other in Rosé’s kitchen. Though there was nothing awkward about the morning after, something Rosé was worried about when she woke up.

They were both content. Happy. Excited.

Although they did technically have over five years of experience being in a relationship with each other, so much had changed since their teenage years. This was completely new territory for both of them.

Rosé couldn’t wait to explore it together.

Denali suddenly had a look of nervousness on her features, “Not to ruin the moment…but since you were listening and uh…speaking of what tomorrow brings…I got an email about my rescheduled flight. It’s at noon tomorrow— I think we should you know, talk things through before we make any…I don’t know…” Denali trailed off.

“Life-altering decisions?” Rosé finished for her.

“Exactly,”

Rosé nodded in agreement, “You’re right,”

“Do you want to eat first? I made some pancakes…I can’t promise you they’re any good though. I figured out the coffee machine so that’s at least one thing…” she laughed.

“You actually cooked?” Rosé couldn’t help but ask in disbelief.

Denali rolled her eyes, “I think the proper response would be ‘thank you, Nali’…but there is a chance that those pancakes are raw…so tread carefully,” she joked.

Rosé liked that they could do this— joke back and forth, be their sarcastic selves without worrying they were going to upset each other.

“Thank you, Nali,” Rosé said, “For the coffee and the possibly poisonous pancakes,”

As she looked at Denali all she could think about was kissing her. Her lips were so plump and pink and everything Rosé had been fantasizing about for years now.

But not now.

The timing had to be right.

The pair sat down to eat for a few minutes before Rosé decided she wouldn’t be able to stomach the rest of the food. Rosé was a great singer, not an actress. Besides, Denali could instantly tell the pancakes were less than edible when she took a bite of them herself.

“Well, beats me. I tried. Coffees good at least,” Denali simply shrugged. After cleaning up the kitchen and throwing Denali’s concoction out in the trash they both took a seat on Rosé’s couch.

“So—“

“I guess—“

Both girls started speaking at the same time, making them both stop talking to not interrupt but instead they just burst out laughing.

“God, this is ridiculous. I’m twenty-seven and I feel like I’m fucking fifteen,” Denali laughed as she shook her head.

Rosé could attest to that.

“Do I make you nervous?” Rosé wiggled her eyebrows sarcastically.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Denali said sadly and doesn’t bother hiding her expression or chuckling at Rosé’s attempt to lighten the moon. Now, it was Rosé’s turn to wallow in her own ideas of where these next moments were going to take them.

“I know,” she was trying not to think about it. She had just gotten Denali back and now they were going to start this…whatever they had going on off by doing long distance? Rosé was doing her best at being optimistic.

“I don’t want to go,” Denali said quietly.

Then don’t, Rosé wanted to tell her but she knew it wouldn’t be the right thing to say. Denali had her own priorities, her own job with her own friends and her own life.

“It’s kinda fucked…isn’t it?” Denali continued.

Rosé shrugged, “You and me finally getting our shit together…except we’re on opposite sides of the country— yeah it’s a little fucked. Unfortunate, really,”

“…I know you’ll probably be really busy these next couple of months too, with your album and stuff,” her tone was solemn and Rosé didn’t like the sound of it.

“Wait, this isn't you breaking up with me, is it? Cause this has to be a new record— less than twenty-four hours and I haven’t even had the chance to plead my case yet—“

“No! No, I’m not breaking up with you, why would you think that?” Denali seemed appalled at the assumption.

“I don’t know…no good conversation starts with ‘It’s kinda fucked…isn’t it’!”

“But it is!” Denali exclaimed, “I’m just being honest— this is all new, for the both of us. I don’t want us to go in blindly and then have us hating each other three months in…I am so fucking in love with you, Rosie and I just want this to work out,” she reached out to hold the singer’s hands.

“You love me? Those pancakes must’ve gone straight to your brain,” Rosé tended to make jokes and deflect when she was nervous.

“You weirdo, I’m trying to be serious!” Denali couldn’t help but laugh as she pushed Rosé playfully away from her, “I’m going back to Chicago tomorrow…indefinitely,”

“I know that, Nali. I know,”

Denali gives Rosé a frustrated look, “I want to continue this…can we do that? With you all the way here and me in Chicago?”

“Why wouldn’t we be able to?”

“I don’t know! Your album, photoshoots and shit! The fact that you’re literally Rosé and probably won’t have time for a relationship—“

“Woah! Who said that? Denali, I want to make this work as much as you do. I’ll make time for you,”

If she asked, Rosé would give up everything for her in a heartbeat. All she truly needed was Denali.

Rosé watched as Denali frowned, “…okay…you’re right, sorry— I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,”

“You’re not wrong. I will be super busy once my album comes out but I don’t want you to dwell on the bad stuff…can’t we just take one step at a time? Seems like the most logical thing to do at this point, hm?”

Denali nodded, “Yeah, okay. That seems fair...sorry, I’m overthinking again. Sorry,”

Rosé sighed. She hated hearing Denali apologize for stuff that was out of her control. “Stop apologizing!…we’re figuring this shit out together so first things first— honesty and communication are key. If this is gonna work, we need to be honest…tell each other how we’re feeling and not keep things to ourselves. I don’t care if I’m in LA or Europe or if it’s four in the morning. If something is wrong, call me, text me— whatever! I want to know, please,”

Rosé almost didn’t recognize herself with the words leaving her lips. Michelle would be proud. She sounded calm, cool and collected as she spoke.

“Same goes to you— I know how you get when you’re stressed out,” Denali reminded her.

“Absolutely. It’s a two-way street— do you trust me Nali?”

“Yes,” she answered without skipping a beat.

“Then we’ll be fine,” Rosé smiled.

“You sound super confident about that,”

“How can I not be when I finally have you back again?” she smiled. Rosé had never been more certain about anything. Not when she left home and started her music career or when she started over from scratch.

When Rosé looked at Denali, all she saw was her future.

“Have you always been such a sap?” Denali narrowed her eyes but Rosé could tell she was trying not to blush.

“You bring out the best in me,” Rosé admitted and pulled Denali to her side to hug her.

Denali scoffed, “You got that right,”

They had been cuddling on the couch for hours at this point. Neither of them wanted to leave the house since they were determined to spend as much time as they could together before Denali left. The only logical solution was to stay inside and make a movie day out of it. After arguing about whether they should watch Harry Potter or Marvel, they agreed on the second option after Rosé had admitted to not seeing any of the movies.

“Didn’t you do a song for a Captain America movie though?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t actually write that— I was just handed the song and told to record it. I’m very marketable,” Rosé laughed.

Denali wasn’t sure how many they watched but they didn’t move from the couch all day, just enjoying each other’s company fully before they had to part ways.

It wasn’t until they were watching the first Avengers movie that the burning question left Rosé’s lips, “Does this mean I’m allowed to tell people you’re my girlfriend now?” she asked as her fingers ran through Denali’s lose hair.

The question that should make Denali happy— over the moon ecstatic, was crushed by an overwhelming sense of fear. She is happy— the words initially made her heartbeat speed up and stomach flutter but it was quickly overrun by the anxiety surrounding the question. “You want that? Like for real? With me?” Denali couldn’t help but ask the singer.

She was nobody special, just some average girl Rosé knew from a past life.

Rosé just smiled at her and instantly, Denali felt all her fear wither away. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I kinda sorta love you. I’m in love with you and I really want you to be my girlfriend,”

Denali wanted nothing more than that.

Honesty and communication were key, Rosé’s words rang through her head from earlier in the morning.

“I want that too,” but she was still unsure and nervous. Not because of Rosé— it was never because of her.

It was the rest of the world that worried her. They were in a nice little bubble right now and she knew the second the rest of the population found out, that bubble would burst. All she could imagine were the eyes that’ll be on them, the cameras, the rumours, the gossiping—

It terrified her.

But she didn’t want to let this go. She couldn’t. After all this time, she and Rosé were together again and she’ll be damned if she lets herself sabotage her own happiness.

How did Denali approach this? How was she to communicate this without feeling like it was going to backfire on her? “I want to be with you too, Rosie. God, I do so badly want to be your girlfriend again,” Denali looked up at her from where her head was laying on her chest, “But I’m just terrified,” she had said that many times before only because of how true it was.

Denali was simply scared of losing something she had been longing for since the decade began. She was scared because too much has changed since and she wasn’t sure how to adjust.

“And that’s fine, Nali.” Rosé's thumb brushed her cheek, “Thank you for telling me…we can take this as slow as you want,”

Denali nodded, “Can we…uhm— do you think we can maybe just keep this between us right now? You know, like a secret. Just for now,”

The confusion that found itself on Rosé’s face made her heart clench, “This is just…a lot, you know? You’re super fucking famous and though that doesn’t change how I feel about you…it would also be a lot to announce it to the world. I just...I want to keep you to myself for a little while longer,”

Maybe she was asking too much? Rosé was a household name and it was inevitable for people to find out about them.

“That’s perfectly okay, Nali. I agree with you…I know it can all be a little much at times. Besides, it’s kinda fun— like we’re sneaking around. Oh! You know what I’ve always wanted to do? Have secret make-out sessions in my tour bus!” though Denali can instantly tell that wasn’t what Rosé wanted. “Just to be clear though…that’s a yes for the girlfriend thing, right? Cause I’ve already been calling you that in my head since this morning,” she teased.

“I’ll be your girlfriend as long as you’ll be mine,” Denali said.

“You didn’t even have to ask,” they smiled at one another looking like lovesick puppies.

“Are you really okay with it?” the anxious part of Denali’s brain took over at that moment.

“Yeah I am, I wouldn’t lie to you. Of course, I’d love to be one of those celebrity power couples and show you off but it makes sense…plus Michelle would have a field day if I just posted an announcement like that on my socials. I’ve given her enough grays already,” Rosé smirked.

What had she done to deserve this? Denali wasn’t sure she would ever figure it out. “Thank you,”

Rosé leaned down and gave Denali a gentle kiss on the top of her head, “Whatever you need, Nali. Whatever you need,”

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