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florencemtrash · 7 months

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Hummingbird: Chapter Five

Miguel O'Hara x Reader

What if the Earth-1610 (Miles’s universe) version of Miguel’s wife was actually Miles’s AP Art teacher?

Masterlist

Warnings: Violence and injuries

You blinked back into your apartment at the end of your nightly patrol, swearing out loud as you began the arduous process of peeling your suit off your sweaty body. Bruises in all stages of healing littered your body like a Pollock painting - purple, blue, yellow, and pink marks spreading up and down your skin like they were living creatures.

You sighed in front of the bathroom mirror, waiting for the shower water to heat up enough to loosen your tight muscles, and twisted your body, looking and pulling at the marred skin.

Miguel wouldn’t be too happy about this… not that he would ever have a reason to look at you naked. The thought alone made you blush furiously.

Miles had been away touring colleges across the Northeast and left you with the task of managing his Spider-duties. It hadn’t been so terrible the first two nights - the minor criminals of New York City were hardly prepared to handle anyone with your powers (like the armed robber who was shocked beyond measure to find his gun had disappeared from his hand). The following nights not so much. Word had gone around that Spider-Man was MIA and criminals minor and major jumped at the chance to unleash their plans. Coffee and spite fueled you through the following week, but there was only so much coffee you could consume in a day after averaging 2 hours of sleep a night.

You would have asked Miguel and the others for help, but there was a strict no interference policy when it came to non-anomalies. Sure, Miguel would have bent the rules for you, but it wasn’t anything you felt comfortable with. Everyone knew he treated you with a special care that sometimes warmed your heart and sometimes set you on edge - always visiting you in the med bay for the most minor of injuries, finding some excuse to track you down in Spidey HQ when you visited, and even going so far as to ask the cooks to add a special edition item onto the regular menu after you’d gushed about it to him at lunch (Peter was the one to tell you).

It also didn’t escape your notice that he kept you from the most dangerous missions, or waited until the last second to call you in for help.

Terco idiota.

You groaned when you stepped into the steaming shower, grateful for the hot water that ran rivers down your back and swept away the exhaustion the night had brought. When you were finally clean and comfortable in your pajamas you sank onto the floor in your living room, pulling the battered and familiar sketchbook forward on the coffee table. One of the many benefits to being an honorary Spider-Person was that the physical exhaustion of superhero duties helped quiet your mind enough to consistently finish your art projects. And every alternate dimension you visited opened up a whole new world of creative possibilities - quite literally. Still… you’d caught yourself drawing the same thing (or rather person) over and over again recently.

You worked for a couple of hours, one ear honed in on the stolen police radio propped up on your tv stand alongside your suit. Mercifully, even criminals needed sleep and you drew uninterrupted until the first rays of dawn started to spill over New York, skyscrapers casting long spindly shadows over the grid.

When morning came you finally dragged yourself into bed for a few hours of blissful sleep leaving behind the soft images of Miguel littered on the coffee table. One day he’d just entered your life and never left, slowly invading every corner of your mind until a week without him felt like a shoe that didn’t fit.

Miguel’s eyes flickered over to you when you blinked into existence beside him, empanada in one hand and a water bottle in the other. His heartbeat picked up, then slowed down, relaxing into the newer, steadier pace of life that you brought him.

“¡Buenos díaaaaaas!” You said in a sleepy singsong voice, dropping the empanada into his lap and jumping on the desk. It wasn’t uncommon for you to stop by his office and make sure he was eating regular meals, although sometimes you would just blink food onto his desk with a post-it note affectionately commanding “Come, pendejo” whenever you visited Spidey-HQ.

“You look tired.” Miguel said, smiling softly as you took your usual spot. He allowed himself to sink into his chair, gazing at you with a love neither of you had the courage to talk about yet.

“So do you.”

“Yes, but I always look tired.” He said with a slight quirk of his lips. You made a little hmmmph sound in agreement, taking a deep sip of your drink.

“Miles is away so I’ve taken on his patrol shifts. I don’t know how you Spider-people manage to do this AND still have full time jobs. I feel like I’m barely keeping up.”

Miguel perked up. You hadn’t told him that you were expanding your superhero duties in Miles’s absence.

“When will he be back?” His eyes focused on you, taking in the faint bags beneath your eyes and the droop of your shoulders with concern. He stood up and moved closer to you, leaning down on arms that bracketed your crossed legs. The smell of coffee and cream was bitter and sweet in the space between you, mixing with Miguel’s own spiced cologne. It warmed you up from the inside out until you wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms.

“Next Sunday.” You groaned and settled for leaning your forehead on his shoulder as you tried to ignore the pounding of your heart, “It’s probably a good thing. If he ends up leaving New York for school, I’ll have to pick up his duties.”

The stolen look of adoration he gave you was replaced by one of confusion and surprise. He’d forgotten that Miles would be graduating next year and going to college.

A New York City without Spider-Man seemed so… wrong. Across countless universes it was always New York City, or some version of it, and Spider-Man. NYC and Spider-Man, Spider-Man and NYC.

You sat patiently, waiting for Miguel to shuffle through his thoughts like he always did, carefully organizing them with the precision and practice of a scientist.

“I could… I could help out if you ever needed it.” He murmured softly, leaning into you and finding comfort in your closeness.

You jerked up so quickly you nearly smacked into his nose, “Did I just hear the Miguel O’Hara suggest breaking protocol?” You teased, poking at his firm chest.

“Well, I-” Miguel lost his words and his cool, color faintly brushing against the tan of his cheeks. He liked having you sit so close to him, no trace of wariness in sight. In the months you’d gotten to know and work with one another you’d learned to grow around each other as tightly as two plants climbing a garden trellis until he didn’t know where he started and you ended.

Memories, painful and sharp, slammed into him - the last kiss he’d given his wife before he ruined everything. The look of terror on Gabriella’s face before she splintered into nothing. And here he was again, jumping at the chance for a future with someone he didn’t deserve. Had he learned nothing after losing everything?

“No,” He shook his head, “You’re right. It was a stupid idea.” He said stoically and stepped away.

“Hey,” You whispered, grabbing his hands when he pulled back. He was entering that dark place again. He hardly talked about his old life except as a warning to Spider-Society members. He believed he was a walking, talking cautionary tale - nothing more than a sense of duty kept him from spiraling down into a sea of terrible memories that would tear him apart.

“It wasn’t stupid. It just means you care.” You said, and felt some relief when Miguel squeezed your hand back, “I can handle it, Miguel. I promise. You won’t be able to get rid of me that easily.”

Miguel’s breath caught in his throat. He knew you meant it jokingly but the words still hit a sore spot.

He didn’t want you to go. If he had control over the powers that governed the multiverse he would ask that you stay with him here forever. He would court you properly instead of dancing around the issue of your growing feelings for one another. He would hug you and kiss you and ask you to spend the nights with him…

Al carajo. He swore and gave into one of his safer desires.

Without warning he closed the distance between you two, slipping into the space between your legs and pulling you against his chest in a bone crushing hug. It was the most contact you’d had with each other since the collider explosion. You melted into his touch, gripping him almost as tightly and getting lost in the smell of coffee and cinnamon.

“I’d like to have you around if that’s alright.” He said softly into the crown of your hair.

You smiled, “Yeah. That’s alright with me.”

“Hey Miss Y/n?” You jolted awake at your desk where you’d drifted off during free period.

Miles smiled apologetically from the door with Gwen at his back who waved and grinned at you.

Oh thank god he was back. You thought to yourself, running a hand through your hair to fix it.

“You know you’re allowed to call me by my first name, right?” You said with a stretch of your back - the sound mimicked a glow stick so much you were surprised you didn’t begin to shine with neon light.

“Yeah, but it’s weird to call an old person by their first name.”

Gwen smirked at Miles as he dropped his bag off at an empty desk.

“Old?!” You said incredulously, “Miles, how old do you think I am?”

He froze like a cat that had just knocked over a glass cup, “Uh…….”

“Oh this should be good,” Gwen quipped, sinking into a chair and propping her feet up on the back of Miles’s chair.

“I-I mean,” Miles stuttered, “Like forty-”

“FORTY?!”

“Thir-Thirty-Thirty-three?” He stumbled over his words, heat rising into his cheeks and coloring them a deep plum.

“I’m twenty-eight!” You said, throwing your hands up dramatically.

“Whoops.” Gwen chuckled. You tipped your head back and laughed, momentarily forgetting the last two weeks of crime-fighting exhaustion.

“How were the college tours? I want to hear everything. Was Princeton all you hoped for?” You leaned forward in your seat, propping your chin up on woven fingers.

“Princeton was fantastic!” Miles said, dragging his chair over to sit closer to your desk, much to Gwen’s chagrin as she lost her footrest, “It looks like something out of a Harry Potter movie. And their engineering building was just-” Miles continued to gush over the schools he’d seen, pulling up photos on his phone of Princeton, Harvard, Columbia, Brown, URI, BU, Northeastern, and a slew of others.

You hung onto his every word, his excitement so infectious that even Gwen abandoned her spot to share Miles’s seat and hear the stories she’d no doubt heard before.

“I loved Berklee,” Gwen jumped in, pointing out a photo of her and Miles smiling in front of their admissions building.

You tilted your head to the side, “You visited colleges in this universe?”

She blushed, “Miles’s parents let me tag along for part of the trip so I had to pretend like I was looking at colleges myself.”

“That makes sense.” You said, noting their closeness and the stolen glances they shared when they thought you weren’t paying attention. “Well, I’m glad the trip was a success!”

“I actually wanted to ask you something, Miss Y/n.” Miles said nervously, straightening up in his chair, “Would you be willing to write me a recommendation letter? I know you’re busy and all but-”

“Say less!” You said with a glowing smile.

“Really?!” He brightened up.

“Of course! Who else would be better suited to the task than me?! I mean, probably someone with more writing experience, but I would be happy to do it.”

“Thank you so much!” He quickly pulled out a resume from his backpack and a list of schools he was planning to apply to, sliding them across the desk with relief now that the anxiety of asking had fallen off his shoulders.

The three of you dove into a conversation about college (you had MUCH wisdom to bestow upon them… art college had taught you many lessons), Spider-duties, and life in general. At the close of the school day, Gwen followed you home, a regular occurrence after you’d offered up your apartment for her to crash in whenever she visited your dimension. She always had a change of clothes folded in your dresser and a toothbrush in your bathroom.

You groaned when you were shaken awake from a deep sleep. Gwen hung upside down from your ceiling already in her spider-suit, pink-tipped hair tickling your nose.

“What-what the- JODER!” you shouted, blinking off the bed and landing on the floor with a groan. There were still moments where you didn’t have complete control over your powers. “¡Carajo!” You hissed in pain and picked yourself off the floor, “Gwen, what the hell?”

“Anomaly in Times Square. Miles is already there and needs backup.”

Shit shit shit. You slapped yourself awake and scrambled to grab your newly mended suit from the closet.

“What are we dealing with?” You shouted as you ran out of your bedroom, slapping on your watch and hearing Miles’s voice ring out from it.

“Dude’s sparkling like a firecracker on Chinese New Years!” His panicked cries rang out, “He’s going after-” Miles’s voice cut out after a strike in the chest fried his watch.

From your apartment window you could see the lights of the New York skyline flicker and crackle like tv static.

“You ready, Gwen?” You asked, holding out a hand.

Gwen ignored the hand and jumped onto your back, wrapping her lean arms around you for dear life, “Oh god I hate this so much.” She said, squeezing her eyes as you teleported them all the way to Times Square.

It was always harder blinking with a passenger in tow. The collider explosion had changed you on a molecular level in such a way that blinking through space felt as natural as passing through a doorway… for others not so much. Traveling across New York City with Gwen felt like dragging a thick strand of yarn through a tiny needle.

Bright lights exploded out of billboard signs, cascading over you in a burning rain of color. You threw an arm around Gwen as she reoriented herself, pushing her down behind a flipped cop car as a bolt of electricity sailed past your ear crackling with heat and energy.

“You don’t remember me do you, Spider-Man? Not important enough for you?” A voice boomed out, tinged with the power you felt during thunderstorms.

“For the third time, I have literally never met you in my entire life!”

“You’ll remember me. They’ll ALL remember me when I’ve taken everything from them.”

“Shit.” You and Gwen said in unison before leaping into the fray.

You made quick work blinking the few people who remained huddled in buildings and under rubble to safety a block away.

“Sorry, sorry. Sorry!” You apologized as people dropped to the floor after being blinked, unused to the feeling of teleportation.

The lights blinded you constantly, blue electricity zipping across the ground like animals on the hunt. You teleported across Times Square, narrowly dodging lightning strikes that raised the hair on your head and arms and teleporting buses, cars, and concrete over the man’s head. He kept up with your attacks, jumping to safety or simply blowing the vehicles up with his power.

Maybe this was what having a Spidey-sense is like? You thought to yourself as you knocked Miles out of the way of a well aimed strike, using the taste of metal in the air as a sign that he was powering up.

A bolt caught you in the chest, sending you crackling through the air. You landed in a smoking heap by the gutter, groaning as your watch smarted and burned on your wrist. You wrenched it off with pain shooting up the side of your ribs.

So much for calling for backup. You swore inwardly as Gwen cried out, tossing her own smoking watch onto the ground as she picked her way out of the rubble of broken billboard screens. There would be no calling Miguel until this was over and done with… if you ever got a chance to call him. The safety net you’d always had fell away from your feet, leaving you buzzing with anxiety.

“Throw the cage!” You screamed at Gwen. She jumped and arched through the air, throwing a device no larger than a coin and watching it stick to the ground beneath the man’s feet.

He thrummed with the energy of New York City’s power grid, drinking it in through his skin like a sponge. The shield sprang to life, closing in on him with precision and accuracy. You let yourself breathe a sigh of relief as he quietly looked at his new cage. The high strung buzz of power in the air dissipated, no longer called to him from behind the holographic barriers.

The man quietly pulled off his hood, revealing blue skin cracked with the movement of electricity shooting through his veins like blood.

“Wait, NO!” Miles shouted, “It’s not going to work!”

“You really think this can hold me?” He grinned, white eyes haunting, “Think again.”

He pressed the palms of his hands against the barrier and you all watched in horror as it blew apart in his hands.

“SHIT!” Miles yelled, throwing his hands up to block the light that exploded outward.

You ducked down behind an overturned bus, feeling the sharp pricks of debris falling down on your back and singeing the fabric.

Times Square was once again alight with electricity and light, and the electric man stood at the center of it all, drawing in power and watching with delight as block after block of neighborhoods went pitch black. Helicopters flew overhead, spotlights zigzagging over the ground. You watched, powerless as he aimed one finger at a helicopter and shot it down to the ground. Miles and Gwen lept into action, working in tandem to weave a net strong enough to catch it as you continued to distract the villain. But you were slowing down, exhaustion creeping into your bones.

Another shot to the shoulder slammed you into a brick wall, body flickering in and out of existence as you struggled to blink yourself away. You fell to the ground in a crumple of limbs.

A boot pressed down between your shoulder blades, heavy and bruising. You screamed when a burning hand grabbed you by the back of your suit and hoisted you into the air. Blue eyes, cold and unfeeling bore into your own.

“You didn’t need to get involved.” He said, his hands beginning to light up dangerously. “I’m sorry this has to happen. But you’re not going to stop me. No one is going to stop me.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” You said through gritted teeth.

Every dimension was different and every dimension left its mark on its inhabitants like a key to a home or a postal code. It was how the Go Home Machine was able to send people back where they belonged.

“You think you could ever do that?... I think you could.” Hobie had said about the Go Home Machine. You’d scoffed and brushed it off at the time but… there was no time like the present.

You squeezed your eyes shut and grabbed a hold of his arm.

You drew on every inch of your power, searching throughout the multiverse for something that felt like home to this person until…

You got a match.

“What-what are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” You opened your eyes and gasped. The man’s body was slowly breaking apart like the static on old distorted TVs. He tried to get away from you, struggling against your iron grip as you held on for dear life, pouring your power into the action of forcing an unwilling person across the multiverse.

“Get. Out. Of. My. Dimension.” You growled, finding yourself back on solid ground as his legs went, then his lower torso. His face and arm were the last to go, mouth frozen in a silent scream, leaving you clutching empty air.

Miles and Gwen gawked at you from twenty feet away as the lights of the city slowly shuddered back to life, a stillness and unnatural quiet falling down on the city that never sleeps.

Your knees buckled beneath you and they shouted your name.

The last thing you saw were the blurry outlines of Miles and Gwen running towards you before your head hit the ground and the world went black.

<- Previous chapter Next chapter ->

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Author's note: Annnnnnnd here's Chapter Five! Thank you all for reading and sticking with me and my chaotic posting schedule. I hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @geraskier-thots @howabouticallyou @sweetheartlizzie07 @dont-mind-me27 @omg-edzia-stuff @sarcastically-defensive17 @trouble-sistar @saltyluminaryvoid @lunablue001 @sadslasher13 @yas-v @thel0v3hashira143 @trishuh8 @vague-flying-shape @tiana76 @dinuxia-bhm @mxtokko @devilsrose666@natbratty @zettoaizawa-shusband @dorck26 @notasadgirlipromise @niyanispunk @thecraziestcrayon @athenxt @imnotyourbcbe @jannajuju @lunamoonbby @elle-19 @aces148 @sseleniaa @elaineiswithyou-blog @summerli-u @rattlethemskulls @sunseekerlove @bubbabobabubbles @loonalockley @aleombre @littlelilies@07-bilin @nerdalicios @insanely-creative-things @enby-rising @nataliahemsworth @coralineyouareinterribledanger @louderfortheback @damnzelsoul @enheduannasposts @bontensbabygirl @mynameiswilliamblake

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #atsv x reader #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x wife reader #miles morales #gwen stacy #peter b parker #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #miguel o'hara x you #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse

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much-ado-about-whumping · 1 year

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Help for when you’re having a rough time

(If you're looking for my old pinned post with my whump masterlists, you can find it here.)

In light of some deeply sad news in the whump community today, I’m thinking about how many of us here struggle with mental health, sometimes including physical or mental self-harm and suicidality. Since I know lots of folks might be having a hard time right now, I wanted to share some resources that have helped me in rough moments. Please feel free to add on to this post (or make your own, if you want!) with the resources that have worked for you.

First, a note:

Trauma, shame, and suicidality all tend to isolate - they make us feel like we’re all alone in the world, like no one else would understand us, and like the only solutions we have available to us are ones we can think of all by ourselves. In my experience, the antidote to that is connection. If you’re feeling scared or alone, you can hop into my asks or DMs if you want. I’m sure there are other folks in this community who would offer that, too. Many of us have grappled with mental health struggles, including suicidal ideation, and sometimes we can offer each other the care that can be hard to offer ourselves. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need support.

A quick note about location: I live in the US, but about half the resources in this post are written guides you can access from anywhere. The hotlines and warmlines linked below are US-based. One or two are accessible in Canada or have an online chat or moderated forum that could be accessed anywhere. If you have good local resources from another place, please reblog and add them! (Thank you, @straight-to-the-pain, for flagging this in the notes!)

That said, here’s my absolute first recommendation if you’re feeling generally awful and don’t know what to do:

1. You Feel Like Shit (also available at its original site here)

If you’ve read a lot of ~self care tips~ in your life (and if you’re a bit of a salty bitch like me), you might be sick of being told to eat something and take a nap. (I don’t think we can hydrate our way out of long-term trauma and late-stage capitalistic hell, but thanks.) That said, I’ve found this site REALLY helpful. Personally, I have ADHD and CPTSD, a combination that makes it ROUGH for me to know how to take care of myself sometimes. This site speaks to you calmly, like a non-judgemental friend, and walks you through steps that you might struggle with if you have a hard time with executive function in general, or if you’re ill, grieving, overwhelmed, or otherwise just off your game. I pretty much always walk away feeling at least a little better, even if I don’t complete every step.

There are more suggestions and resources below the cut. Wishing everyone in this community love and care. <3

2. The 15-Minute Rule (info available in many places; after a quick google, I really like this site as a place to start)

One key principle to understanding the resources I’ve put together here is the 15-minute rule. If you’re feeling an urge towards physical or mental self-harm or suicide, studies show that the urge is unlikely to last more than about 15 minutes at its peak intensity. (Sorry I don’t have data on this off the bat - anecdotally, I can tell you that this rule also tracks with my own personal experience.) This means that, if you’re presently feeling overwhelmed by grief or pain that’s turning inwards on you, if you can stay afloat through the next few minutes, the tide of it is likely to ebb. The site I linked above has information about this concept and some great harm-reduction ideas, too. (Another resource on this that I liked in my quick search is here.)

3. Read This First (a compassionate distraction from feelings of self-harm)

I’m gonna be honest; this resource is aimed at folks having urges towards physical self-harm, but it looks like something I would find helpful with urges towards emotional self-harm, too. (It also looks like it could be handy for body-focused repetitive behaviors - BFRBs - like dermatillomania/skin-picking or trichotillomania/hair-pulling).

4. Resources from Pete Walker, psychotherapist and author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

Obviously not everyone reading this will have complex PTSD (also called C-PTSD), but if you’re a person who, in general, tends to beat yourself up a lot, I’d highly recommend checking Pete Walker’s work out. If some of it doesn’t apply to you, that’s okay - take what you need, and leave the rest. This site (and the book it references most heavily) assumes you may have had parents who were emotionally or physically abusive or neglectful. If that doesn’t ring true for you, but other parts of the resources seem helpful, use them anyway! A handy place to start maybe this page on Shrinking the Inner Critic in Complex PTSD (that is, reducing the volume of the voice that screeches unpleasantness at you when you feel ashamed or scared).

As a note: this website looks VERY mid-2000s (which I kind of love). Most of the resources you want will be in the right-hand column full of links. Some of those links will open new pages, and some will automatically try to download a PDF of the article you want to read.

5. Warmlines:

This is something I just learned today - if you’re feeling really lonely and sad, but you’re not in immediate crisis, there are warmlines you can contact! These seem to be numbers where you can call (or sometimes text) to talk with a counselor or trained peer when you need support and connection. I can’t vouch for any of these numbers personally, but as someone who has definitely thought, “It’s not bad enough to REALLY need help,” I think this is a fabulous idea. Here’s a list of warmlines you can check out in the US.

6. Specialized hotlines:

There are lots of good crisis hotlines out there, but some may be better for your needs than others. For one thing, if you’re feeling seriously suicidal, it’s good to know the policies of the hotline you’re calling. In my opinion, everyone deserves bodily autonomy and the right to refuse care; for that reason, I think it’s important to know the policy of the hotline you’re calling as to whether or not they’ll call emergency services without your consent. Everyone has to make their own judgment call on this one, and I’m a little too (lightly!) triggered to go deep into my analysis on this right now, but I wanted to flag that it’s something to be aware of - if you’re going to call a hotline, you can try to look up their policy on calling emergency services before you contact them. You could probably even ask them in the beginning of the call. (A script: “Before we start, can you tell me what your policy is about contacting emergency services on behalf of callers?” If this is true, you can add: “I’m having some feelings of [suicidality/self-harm], but I’m safe and am not in danger of hurting myself or others.”)

With that in mind, here are some hotlines that seem promising to me, in no particular order:

A. For queer and trans folks in general:

Trans LifeLine

Available in the US (1-877-565-8860) and Canada (1-877-330-6366)

Available in English and Spanish

Will NOT call emergency services without your consent (you can read more about this policy on their website, including here)

Peer to peer support for transgender and questioning folks; also, microgrants (small amounts of money) for trans-related needs!

Does not offer text/chat-based support

I’ve never used Trans LifeLine myself, but I’ve heard excellent things about it from peers who have.

The Trevor Project:

Support from trained counselors for queer, trans, and questioning folks

Definitely available in the US; I’m not sure where else.

Offers support via phone (1-866-488-7386), text message (678-678), and online chat (link here - scroll down to Start Chat)

Also offers an online peer support space, TrevorSpace, for folks ages 13-24

Their site says, “In very specific instances of abuse or a clear concern of an in-progress or imminent suicide, Trevor counselors may need to contact a child welfare agency or emergency service.” When you click Learn More, it takes you to their Terms of Service (informative, but in legalese that might be hard to parse if you’re in crisis).

Again, not a service I’ve used myself, but I’ve heard good things!

B. For BIPOC folks (Black folks, Indigenous folks, and people of color more broadly), especially those who also hold LQBTQI identities:

Call Blackline:

Available via phone or text (both at 1-800-604-5841)

Available for people in crisis. Call Blackline can also help connect you with local community organizers and officials if you need to report a negative, inappropriate, or physical interaction with police, other law enforcement, or vigilantes.

From their website:

Call BlackLine® provides a space for peer support, counseling, reporting of mistreatment, witnessing and affirming the lived experiences for folxs who are most impacted by systematic oppression with an LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens.Call BlackLine® prioritizes BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color). By us for us.

Here’s what I found regarding their policy on emergency services:

You do not have to provide any personal information to use the service. All calls remain private and will never be shared with law enforcement or state agencies of any kind.

Of course, a BIPOC person can contact any hotline for support, but for people dealing with racism, anti-Blackness, and other specific bigotries, I can very much see the importance of talking to someone who shares or understands that experience.

C. For folks processing bad psychedelic trips:

Fireside Project:

This one is something I didn’t even know existed! They do call- or text-based support (1-623-473-7433, or 1-62-FIRESIDE) for people processing psychedelic drug experiences, available 11am to 11pm Pacific time. I don’t have a ton more info, but their site seems really interesting and like they’re serving a unique need.

7. A soothing distraction:

One of the glories of the internet is the fact that it enables us to conjure up images of kittens at a moment’s notice. In that vein, I want to offer up a VERY cute distraction: Peptoc is a hotline (1-707-873-7862, or 1-707-8PEPTOC) where you can hear encouraging messages in English or Spanish from kindergarteners. How sweet is that? (Thanks to the wonderful @newbornwhumperfly for this suggestion!)

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Beloved whump community, I want to know about things that help you when you’re struggling. Please feel free to share them if you want.

And, Moya - we’ll miss you so, so much, even those of us (like me) who didn’t know you well. May your memory be an absolute blessing. <3

(I was going to put this in the tags, but oops, it’s going up here - I really hope this post will be helpful to someone, but it was also helpful to me to build. I feel better in a crisis when I can find a way to help - it’s how I soothe myself when I’m sad or scared. I really hope this doesn’t seem preachy or self-aggrandizing - it’s really just me processing-processing-processing. <3)

One more note: if this post makes you think you might want to follow my blog, you're totally welcome, but you should check out my note here first. This is not a DNI list; it's just a heads-up about my content, which could be inappropriate or triggering for some people.

#whump community #how to be a person in the world #ways to stay afloat #suicide mention cw #suicidality mention cw #self-harm mention cw #resources for taking care of yourself #bel talks #touchstones #sorry another disclaimer but also i know my experiences are not universal #my feelings might come from a really different place than other people's feelings #idk for instance if any of the shit in this post would have been at all useful to moya #but I'm sharing it anyway in case it's useful to SOMEONE

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writingoneout · 10 months

Text

Untilted Katamari Reflections

Preamble:

Content considerations for the following include:

Parental abuse

Bigotry

Worldly anxiety

You're welcome back another day if that's too much right now.

It’s fall of 2015.

You and your virgin college friends drink shitty cocktails called the “Slutty Will Rodgers.” They’re just Pepsi rawdogged with indeterminate amounts of grenadine and Captain Morgan. When you bought the mixers a Wal-Mart stocker yodeled “OOOOoOoooOH, maKIN sOMe DRINKS?!?!” and you knew it was time to leave.

We Love Katamari is on the Telly. It’s a sweet, trippy game you first bought to cope with high school. On Dark Fridays at 1am, when your inbox was barren and your balls were full, you’d drive to the empty gym downtown and sprint six miles. Then you’d come home and replay the firefly level until you fell asleep with your pug.

Your college friends are bad at the game, so they pass the controller. You’re playing the underwater stage. A spaceman falls in the pond of people gunk and stacked crabs. It’s going really well if you’re honest. You point to the screen and say “this’ll be Florida if Trump wins.” See Fig. 1.

Figure 1: Rick Desantis has big plans for Disney.

Your friends don’t reply because they soon won’t be virgins and their tongues battle each other’s. It’s a different game they play, one with fuzzier rules, but greater industry respect. You wish the campus gym was open 24/7.

. . .

Your skills as the prince are not inherent. You first meet him in 2005, when your dyspraxic hands can barely tie a shoe. Your parents catch you lose shit for the Toonami review of Me and My Katamari. They buy it for Christmas, hoping to steady your nerves while your father’s in therapy.

Dr. Flam is a Neo-Freudian hitched to your mom’s guy, Dr. Flim. She’s deep in your dad’s dream journal and makes him watch movies like Cool Hand Luke to really reign in his ego. He gets the DVDs from the Netflix site, then through the mail. As a family you watch your dad’s therapy films and reruns of Inyuasha.

In the waiting room you barely navigate the sticky ball through Namco Bandai’s Satoshi Kon parade. See Fig. 2. You’ve only seen adults express anger verbally, so when you mess up you grunt a lot and let out those Leopold Butters Stotch swears like “crap,” “shoot,” and “gosh darn.” You’re not particularly self-aware, so you probably just say “god fucking damn it” a few times and don’t remember. Years later you realize there was probably a secretary behind the glass watching you do all this.

Figure 2: Bwahbwahwabhbawahbwaaaaah.

Sometimes there’s a girl in the room with you, just around your age. She’s stuck while Dr. Flim teaches her mom about what dream snakes mean for her fear of male puberty. That's what he did for your mom, anyway.

You think the waiting-room stranger is cute, but you won’t admit you like girls yet, especially not to yourself. To cope with the cognitive dissonance, you do your weird shit louder while refusing to make eye contact with her. If you get real stressed you crank up the main menu track and yell “ahhhhh that’s so relaxing” while the “nah nah nah nahs” play through your headphones.

At one point the girl stands against a wall and stares at you with her arms crossed. You bet she thinks you’re cool, but she’s probably just annoyed and hopes you’ll notice, or maybe just ask if she’s OK. It’s probably good you don’t talk with her. You might ask something stupid, like if she's seen the roach corpse in the stairwell. It’s been there for a year straight, isn’t that crazy?

For better and worse, you power through your little game alone. Every time you lose the King of All Cosmos beats, shoots, and belittles you. See Fig. 3. It reminds you of when your own dad shattered your Harry Potter wand over the kitchen counter because you dropped a mini pizza.

Figure 3: The King of All Cosmos offers little constructive advice, all things considered.

You fail quite frequently. Eventually you drop the game because it’s getting stressful and you have the power to relieve yourself of the situation—not the Freudian lobby, just your fake dad.

II.

It’s 2012. PlayStation Network uploads The Prince’s primeval outing: Katamari Damacy. Within, Padre Cosmotic flaps his gums over too much hooch then slams his dump truck ass through the better part of our solar system. He dislodges every recognized constellation and even the moon itself.

Cosmos sends Prince to Earth—the last brick left in the shitstorm—to make slop of our planet and bodies. With the slop space itself will be made anew. The Good Son does as he's told, and every living entity experiences euphoric ego death within the bulbous heaven of the Katamari.

As a Real Gamer Teen you lose a lot less in this one. You really go in and fix Fake Dad’s mistakes, no problem at all. This is why a year ago you hailed “gaming journalism” as your calling. You write clean and play tight; should keep the lights on. It’s the most concrete idea you’ve had since 7th grade when you outlined a YA novel called Tooth Pocket. Even you didn’t think Scholastic would buy that one, though. It was just too hot for the book fair.

One day you’re cranking through FFVI and your real dad swings by, mad you're young. He grills your ass and says “I bet you can’t even tell me the biggest thing happening right now.” It’s some real “What’s a gallon of milk cost?” shit, he could mean anything.

Surprisingly, you can’t think of a good answer. You and your friends are actually pretty informed because John Stewart is still at the desk and y’all chime in every day. See Fig. 4. You also spend hours each week tearing through MSN slideshows in your Graphic Design class because the Photoshop takes five minutes. You’ve seen a staggering amount of the Syrian civil war.

Figure 4: Sometimes in Snapchat you draw glasses on your cat to make him look like Mitch McConnel. You wouldn't do that without this guy.

Still, you’re a little stumped. It’s the middle of a phenomenon native to moralist presidencies known as "a slow news week.” You actually ran out of war shit the other day and clicked through some slides about Pakistani wrestlers. The seniors who offered you Jack Daniels in the Whataburger lot saw it and laughed. They thought you were peeping dong in class. You really weren’t, but they didn’t believe you. They graduate certain you were bricked up in the Dell Lab over big guys in spandex.

“I don’t know,” you tell your dad.

He throws his hands behind his head, hard, like an orangutan chucking logs at a poacher.

“It’s the fucking carbon tax,” he yells. This comes as a surprise, you think, because that shit is last month’s news. It really didn’t go anywhere.

“Do you not pay attention because you don’t give a shit, or are you just a nihilist and think you can’t do anything?” You can tell in his eyes he thinks there’s a real answer. “Seriously, which is it?

You don’t remember what you said. You probably just stammered until he walked off.

A month later he picks you up from marching band. Your phone is dead, so he had to wait twenty minutes longer than anticipated while you found his car. He punches the rearview mirror until the windshield cracks then screams of how your birth kept him from New England.

III.

It’s 2016. A rockin’ MILF in the Psych department gets you really into Hamilton. See Fig. 5. Every day you wake up on the grind and blast “You Aaron Burr, sir?” through your shitty 7-11 cans. While cramming foreign language Quizlets and McGraw Hill Online you do this thing called “Hafilton.” It’s where rock up to “Nonstop” and quit listening just before Hamilton decides what he will stop is being a good husband.

Figure 5: Like Kojima, you know "MILF" is a mindset, not a factual inquiry.

It’s 2018. Your grades are notably better and you’ve snuck into the honors program. Like Hamilton himself, you really flourished at 19 and thought about running for office. You immediately abandoned this idea after remembering your allergy to recordings of your image or voice.

You cohabit with the Psych MILF, and she offers some advice: she’s really had her boots on the ground with this whole “clinical psych thing” and honestly, respectfully, she loves you, but dear God it might not be your scene. It’s taken a real toll on her and the friends, and she can’t imagine you going through that shit.

At 1am in your living room you boot up DOOM (2016) and listen through some Hamilton. Angelica is thirsty on main when you remember that you, yourself, could be a lawyer. You don’t have to run for Congress to fight the establishment. There’s just the common law, and it’s right there. You can just get your grubby little hands in that shit and work your magic.

. . .

It’s the last semester of undergrad. Your Western Thought professor says Hamilton wasn’t really a huge deal and really James Madison shat out the big parts of our faction-proof empire. Yes, there was, in fact, a civil war, but the caplock rifle worked it out. After the Federalist papers he has you read the Bill of Rights but no Supreme Court cases. There’s a lot of talk on negative liberties.

Just before finals, the learned doctor says your generation only has two things to worry about: the climate and the poverty. Yeah they’re big, he says, but they’re just two things. You’re crafty kids, smart as the framers, even.

. . .

The state decides law school is your jam and lets you come inside.

There’s the negative liberties but you actually read Supreme Court opinions when the big boys aren’t shaking fists for Valley Forge. They have you listen to Hamilton for context. You feel dirty. An LRW professor puts on the “I’m Just a Bill” video and your sectionmate with Ivy degrees gets really, really mad.

. . .

The Federalist Society has a comfy presence at your law school. Along with Big Oil they sling out free pizza to every Little Scalia with a rumbly tum tum.

On your way to class you hear what the pizza boys feel. They hate Europeans, those social democrats with the rotten armories and clumpy cash. The Euros, they think, give too much wiggle room for the mentally ill, and by that they mean they mean gay people and probably just women overall.

There are more than two things to fix, you think.

. . .

The pandemic hits. You and some pals start a Google Doc to stay afloat. It barely works. In the Zoom review for the property final your professor catches multiple people crying. "You don't have to be here," he tells them, “there are other jobs.”

. . .

A year passes. You’re in a niche public interest class you do all right with. The professor looks you and thirty-five others dead in the eye and says how sorry he is that law school is traumatic. You shed a single tear in your little window. You're pretty in the shit and haven’t worn pants to class in months.

Then public interest prof takes a big, big drag from his long, fat spliff. He spins his desk chair and baseball cap at the same time, never letting go of the joint.

“Hey,” he says. “It’s not your fault, really, but the world is fucked. It’s time to fix what your parents did.”

The next week he gives a practice exam where the best solution is to sell an old lady’s house to Nestlé.

IV.

It’s 2022. After throwing your whole gooch at it, you fail the bar exam.

You fall back hard into exercise. When you’re not slamming Barbri you’re at the gym binging curls and cranking the Chainsaw Man soundtrack. One night on the way to squats you finally hear “Black Parade.” Just like you, Mr. Gerry Wayland is stuck between global disrepair and the desire to write Funny Little Books.

You just started an FLB yourself, actually. It’s spin on a Story Break episode you love. In your version there’s a fucked up civil war horse that moves like a spider and is covered in bugs. Rich people kill the planet then the horse gets lost in space. It’s compelling, you promise. There’s body horror and pirates dressed like Gorton’s Fisherman. See Fig. 6 It’s about the horrors of the contemporary world state. It’ll be fun.

Figure 6: An untapped horror icon. Imagine blood contrasting that yellow.

Big problem, though: you remember rich people love hiking. There’s no grass on Mars, not that good shit anyway. Would they really fuck all of it?

You edit. In the last few years, the real breathless ones, the oligarchs cash their tab. A cartel, they think, could really muscle those stragglers, the tragically common. There’s one city left with both breathable air and refugees. They level it. The few survivors are spread amongst the stars, so their loves and languages may die.

. . .

It’s the middle of Bar Prep Round 2. You and the patient MILF see Hadestown in the Big City.

There’s a juke joint on stage flanked by devil trombones. A sad little guy slinks in from the janitor’s closet. His name is Orpheus and, just like you, he’s a sad, short writer who likes a lady so much it comes out weird. He has a vision, he says, for a little ditty. It’s compelling, he promises, and shit’s gonna change. His love is functional and realized, worth the investment of a hardened woman displaced by capital’s torture. She believes him.

You cry because you know where this goes.

It’s just a single tear.

Don’t worry.

Nobody sees.

. . .

There’s this game you like, by some corporate anarchists who hate themselves. They’re Scandinavian, from the spot in Tallin where you stopped for a cruise. Every gift shop there had swastikas and gas masks leftover from the bloody years.

In the game is a liberal yacht MILF. She thinks you’re stupid but someone’s helping with your gun, so you’ve got that on her. And yet, she pins you, re your whole writing thing. See Fig. 7.

Figure 7: She sucked, but it still hurt when she left.

Your favorite Supreme Court podcast says the ocean’s last hope is other countries. But those countries’ people cry to the Disco game, and their ministers also bought The End of History. You meet them on the subreddit. You're all geeked out, waiting for the tide.

. . .

It’s the era of desert cradles. God thinks you’re disgusting, so he sends his better kids with a memo: the flood was too much work on his end, it’s time for something different.

“Just keep walking,” he says.

Your skin bares his figure. So do the corpses. You little birds among billions, gassed out and screaming, move to clean.

It’s 2023.

We Love Katamari is up on the PlayStation store. You sit with the cats and mow down some crabs. You don’t need it so much these days, but it’s nice.

There’s a Bar card in your wallet, just below your gym tag. There are two interviews in your Google Calendar. Good stuff might happen, hopefully soon. You crawl into bed and wrap an arm around your wife’s rib cage.

Everything matters and nothing is safe.

You are loved enough to sleep.

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ywpd-translations · 2 months

Text

Ride 762: The Inter High's starting line

Pag 1

2: I'll run

4: Miyazakii!!

Good luck, Kyushu teams!!

Let's do it, Kyushu!!

Hirayama-kun, you can do it!

5: Senpai, I'll replace your empty bottle

Thanks

6: Now

7: It's starting!

Soon?

Yes!!

8: Uh... ah....

Pag 2

1: In this Inter High!!

With my own legs!!

2: How many times have I pictured this?

Ah.....

3: How many times have I imagined this?

Uh.....

Pag 3

1: Myself standing inside the course!!

2: I can't breath properly and my heart is pounding

3: Earlier, I wanted to drink but my hands were shaking and I couldn't open the bottle

4: I was about to give up

5: If.....

Pfuii.....

6: If it's a dream

If this is a dream

Pag 4

1: Please don't wake up

I've worked too hard for this!!

Pag 5

1: Five minutes until the start of the boys' Inter High's first day!!

Pag 6

1: In the front, last year's champion, Sohoku High School, is lined up!!

Sohokuu...!!

Sohoku!!

Red-head!!

Ah, there's the orange-haired guy again!!

2: Ah.....

3: Ah..... in the front......

4: Don't look around so restlessly

Ye-yessir, teh

5: O-no-da-kuun

He's so cuteee!! Look this way!!

6: Ah- those are Back-gate.... Onoda-san's!?

They're his die-hard fans

Waa, as expected!! As expected!!

Pag 7

1: But he's so nervous that he turned to completely “ignoring” them

Ohhh...!!

2: Huh!? I don't know why, but seeing Onoda-san so nervous, is naturally.... making me relax, teh

Ah!! That was his goal!?

3: No, that's just his pre-race ritual

Don't worry about it

Teh!?

4: Also lined up in the front are the members of the local team of Fukuoka, the Fukuoka Josei High School

Pag 8

1: Behind them, are Kyushu's veterans, Kumamoto Daichi from Kumamoto

Kumamotoo!!

The super express of Higo country!!

2: Fukuokaa, Kumamotoo, take the stage!!

I'm looking forward to it.!!

3: We're looking forward to your race

Do you want to say a word?

Yes, uhm.... Higo

4: will work hard!!

We'll work hard!!

Pfuii

Pag 9

1: Wh... what are the conditions!?

2: Earlier you said “there are difficult conditions to meet in order to run”...!?

Yeah

3: It's simple.... but hard

4: Sugimoto, the fact that you're running in the Inter High

5: means that Sohoku now has seven members

6: Despite the rule that says that each team can only have up to six people, there is one that has seven

7: It's the same situation that would happen if, for example, you took a reserve from another team

During the race, they could do things like blocking the wind, or attack; the higher your number, the more at an advantage you are

They could even help preserve the ace

8: So, in order to maintain equality

Pag 10

1: during the race you cannot get close to “Sohoku”!!

2: It's better... if you avoid conversations with them too

You have to run like you're a member of the “selected team”

These are the conditions

3: It means that you have to break away from “Sohoku”!!

5: This is all I can help you with

Pag 11

3: Don't worry about Sohoku

They have Miki, and Sadatoki and Kinaka are reliable too

5: Are you Sohoku's Sugimoto-kun!?

Ah, ye-yes

Quick, wear this, and the number bib....

6: Thank you, Touji-san!!

7: Can you follow it? That rule

Pag 12

1: Yes!!

2: I'm a man who follow the rules, after all!!

Pag 13

2: From now on I'm not a Sohoku member... but I'll run as a member of the selected team!!

3: There wasn't much time but I remember

4: Iwatani-kun from Nishihori Hisch School in the Saga prefecture

Ah- yes

5: You.... you remember my name!?

As expected, Sohoku is amazing!!

I'm counting on you

Yessir!!

Pag 14

1: First year, Uchikawa-kun, from Matsushima Business school in the Miyagi Prefecture

Ah-woah

2: I've always done track and field, so I don't know much about road racing, but thank you!!

Yeah, do your best

3: Second year Kobayashi-kun from the same Matsushima business school

Yes!

4: Babagome-kun from Toyotsukita High School in the Aichi prefecture

I'm a second year!!

And the first year Shingi-kun from Izumobata High school in the Shimane prefecture

5: Hyoo, thank you so much!!

6: As expected from Sohoku, huh

That's why they're the two-times in a row champions!!

Pag 15

1: I'm a third year from Chiba, Sugimoto

2: I'll cheer for you from behind the scenes

3: Run without regrets

4: Yes!!

5: Sugimoto-san!!

We're counting on you, Sugimoto-san

Touji-san.....

6: And everyone.....

Pag 16

1: Thank you

2: Without realizing it, my shaking has calmed down

3: I'm prepared!!

4: Hydrate yourself frequently, and eat supplementary foods at fixed time

Once every forty minutes, remember it

Yessir

Yessir!

Ohh, such a precise advice

5: I'm glad, it's so reassuring! Who would have thought that there would be a member of Sohoku

When I heard that our coordinator, the third year Yamashita-san, was absent due to illness, I wondered “what do we do now”

I'm so glad!

Pag 17

1: Let's run!!

2: No matter how hard the road may be!! Without giving up!!

3: We'll fight, with all our strengths

But I'll tell you one thing first

4: Even if we give our everything, the probability that we'll lose is high!!

Huh

Prepare yourself

5: Because I know

6: The opponents we have to fight that are lined up before us....

Pag 18

1: I know how strong they are!!

Pag 19

2: And how much they long to win

Pag 20

1: And how hard they have worked!!

Pag 21

2: The first day of the Inter High tournament in the Fukuoka Prefcture, starts now!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 762 #SUGIMOOOTOOOOOO #im so happy and proud of him but at the same time this is so sad????#the fact that hes running in the same race as his team but basically has to pretend that he doesnt even know them #this is completely against the 'sohoku is a team where we support each other' thing #hes alone and thats SAD #but also hes alone and that makes him so freaking strong and IM SO PROUD OF HIM #he hasnt even met the other guys on his team and hes already theyre leader YES WE LOVE TO SEE IT #I cant believe we'll really have him in the race asdgjsfhgasf im so exciteeeeed #also excuse me but i need to say that Roku-chan is simply the most lovable baby ever okay #every time he appears it makes me happy #hes baby shaped i need to adopt him #also also watanabe really is killing us with the suspense with the last hakogaku member isnt he #i wonder if itll be like with yuuto and it'll be bc hes related to someone we know #last thing - someone on twitter said that with this haircut midosuji looks like an nct member and im sorry but thats the funniest thing eve #i havent stopped laughing since i read it asfdgjsaghfksf

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lsfrm · 20 days

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hehehehhee hey guys so the first paragraph of this was deleted and i JUST noticed so im gonna retype this whole thing.

okay hi, again, so in honor of me hitting 200+, i made a poll and one of the top choices was an event, so here u go :3 this event is based off of xikers' new album: HOUSE OF TRICKY: Trial And Error, aka one of the best releases so far hehe anyways thank u guys for 200 and im working on the server with someone rn giggles.. okay rules are down below

first youll dm me a number, 1-10, which will be your xikers member, and then 1-6, which will be your song / track your moodboard will be themed off of. "3 and 6" lets say thatll get you yechan and supercalifragilistic, youll listen to the song (if you havent) and make a mb based on the vibe you got. you get it, i think.

if you dont know any of the songs on the album, i think its pretty obvious that you should listen to it atleast once or twice, or maybe watch one of the stages so yeah.. heh..

your moodboard must include lyrics from that song and that song only, if theres any other lyrics from a song you didnt get, it doesnt count. same with member, but, if you make specifically gg moodboards, ill find a gg member thats close to xikers' vibe :3

reblog this post and tag 2+ friends, comment joining, and tell me your favorite kpop song + your favorite emoji !!

finally its prizes time thank god

🥇 : 250 reblogs on post of choice, 4 moodboards with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back, 3 tumblr prof sets

🥈 : 150 reblogs on post of choice, 3 moodboards with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back, 2 tumblr prof sets

🥉 : 50 reblogs on post of choice, 2 moodboards with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back, 1 tumblr prof set

🏃🆙 : 25 reblogs on post of choice, 1 moodboard with member and theme of choice, shout out, follow back (2-3 runner ups)

when posting your moodboard, use the tag #HOT : trial and error in your tags, otherwise it wont count (make sure to copy and paste it too)

since im a very indecisive person, ill have some of my closest friends help pick the winners, deadline is may 9th at 6 pm CST, anything after that will not count and will be discarded.

🏷️ :: @y-vna @sugarish @od-i @eun-luv @egorls @h-aewo @h-itomi @v-ico @vg-k @b4dobee @nwtzy @bambicito @p-oisn @i3vivi @i06gyu @i08wony @i04rei @raeceah @rkivefr @wiotas @dreaminju @aespoa @yumjins @yeribbon @inniie @solriis @shiolu @chaehrtz @chaeneuu @chaefilm

if u couldnt tell, i rushed this

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wilwheaton · 9 months

Note

Hey guru of games, I’m wondering if you could recommend something.

I live with my 81 year old mother. She’s in early stages of dementia. She can’t recall the conversation we had an hour ago or follow more than 2 storylines in a show or a movie, but she can manage rummycube.

She says she can’t do any card games because she can’t remember rules. It has to be simple and not a lot of pieces to keep track of.

It occurred to me you might have an idea.

I think Qwirkle is exactly what you're looking for.

#tabletop

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skelelovely · 2 years

Text

mmmmh more stage dudes

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celsfandomrave · 1 year

Text

Ted Lasso Costume Deep Dive

I asked if anyone would be interested if I did a deep dive analysis into the Costume Design of Ted Lasso and people seemed to be very interested!

I work as what is called a Stitcher for opera and theatrical costumes which means I am one of the people who sews the costumes you see people wearing on stage. I am not a costume designer and I have never worked in TV. That said, many of the people I work with have worked in TV and I work with costume designers everyday, so I like to think I have a relatively realistic idea of what choices are intentional and what are not. This is my costume design degree put to use.

Part 1: Ted Lasso

Ted has simultaneously the most and least interesting costume design in the show so let’s talk about it and why I am freaking out about Ted’s orange shirt in Sunflowers.

With only very few exceptions here is a list of colors Ted wears:

White

Beige

Grey

Blue (Navy, Light Medium)

IF Ted wears a suit if will be black with a white shirt and a red tie for special occassions or a black tie for funerals

IF Ted is seen in his sleepwear it will be a pair of grey joggers with either a blue shirt, a black “Joe Arthur” T-shirt, or a Kansas City T-Shirt

IF Ted is seen at training or around the club just before or after he will be wearing some combination of (depending on weather):

White or grey polo shirt

Navy Blue Richmond Track Pants

Nav Blue Richmond Track Jacket

Orange Tinted Aviators

White Richmond Visor

On very rare occassions Ted will wear a RED POLO SHIRT. This is outside of Ted’s normal uniform.

The first time we see this shirt in Season 1 Episode 6, Ted is taking off his wedding ring. This immediately establishes that red polo means something is off in Ted’s world, even if it’s something minor. He might wear this shirt more than we actually see in the show but I would think of this as the shirt he wears if he hasn’t had time to do laundry.

This rule continues

Season 2 Episode 2

Ted is dealing with the fact that Dr. Feldstone is staying and the dinamics at the club are changing.

Season 2 Episode 3

Worn as Led Tasso. As though I needed help proving this meant something was off.

Season 2 Episode 6

When he wears the shirt early in the episode it seems like there is very little going on with him, everything is fine. So why do we get red shirt Ted? and then he gets a panic attack in the middle of a game. That red shirt was the only indication that something was wrong.

Season 3 Episode 5

The Team are in a losing streak following the game with West Ham. He is also wearing it when he finds out about the bullying situation with Henry.

Other exceptions to the rule that I’m not reading too much into, due to them not being quite as noticeable:

Season 2 Episode 5

Ted wears this brownish yellow sweatshirt under his Navy Richmond jacket. I will let this slide because it is mostly covered by the jacket and it is very cold and snowy during this episode.

Season 3 Episode 1

Ted wears a green sweater dropping off his son at the airport. The green doesn’t stand out as much as the red or orange shirt do. I do think this is sort of an indication that we are getting a Ted in season 3 who branches out a little bit more.

Season 3 Episode 3

Ted wears a maroon sweater with a pocket to Sam’s restaurant. Notably, we have seen this sweater in Navy previously. Ted is branching out in colors but only when it is a style he knows he likes. This is also the same style as the orange shirt.

And now SEASON 3 EPISODE 6 he shows up in ORANGE out of nowhere.

and hopefully you understand why I am freaking out enough to do a breakdown of the whole show.

A few things I’d like to note.

The fact that Ted has a reasonably constrained wardrobe doesn’t really surprise me. The way these sorts of shows tend to work is that they will shop for a character’s closet. Even Keeley repeats, if not whole outfits, pieces of them at times. Ted is not the most fashion forward guy, it makes sense that he has a relatively short number of outfits. That said, Coach beard has much more variated style than Ted.

In the episode, what does the Orange shirt tie Ted to?

To me, the most obvious answer to this is actually Colin. Yes, you could argue that he is being tied to to Sunflower painting, maybe to the tea, maybe to the warm colors or the houseboat but if you are going to argue any of those, Colin is being tied to the same thing. I could definitely see both Ted and Colin being tied to the sunflowers. We are definitely meant to compare Ted to Van Gogh in the museum seen. Both are Inspiring creative people who are trying to get past their “inner demons”. Perhaps we are supposed to see that Colin is also one of these people or perhaps it is meant to connect Ted’s journey with Colin’s sexuality storyline. I genuinely don’t know the answer, but Ted’s costume tells me that something is going on.

Stay tuned for future parts where I will reveal which 2 characters are wearing the same distinctive T-shirt and have a similar freak out about Rebecca breaking all of her clothing rules.

Part 2

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso costumes #ted lasso costume design #ted lasso meta #tedependent

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mostly-just-sasuke-blog · 2 months

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moral development in Naruto

Naruto's class, including Shikamaru, didn't like Naruto as a kid. They didn't treat him well. They weren't kind. But it's also not hard to understand why. Naruto was ego driven, attention seeking, and mean. He was antagonistic towards others. And the others were antagonistic towards him, and it had become a vicious unending cycle.

But again, it's also not hard to understand why. Naruto came into class having only known rejection. Of course he was antagonistic. The other kids had no idea of ability to understand or handle Naruto. He was just seen as annoying. Of course he was a social pariah. And someone like Shikamaru, who was very sheltered and safe, couldn't understand him. He and the other kids disliked him for pretty understandable reasons. Naruto was developmentally behind. To show what I mean, here's Piaget's theory of moral reasoning:

What you'll see is that Chapter 1 of Naruto is actually the start of Naruto begining to move out of stage 1 into stage 2. He's moving from breaking rules as much as possible for attention (his self interest) to starting to recognize and respect others' needs. He has gotten a taste of acceptance and now he is motivated to continue so that he'll be praised for doing good now that he has experienced being rewarded socially for it. His needs still come first, but he's starting to see others have needs too. Like how he recognized Iruka's need and came to his rescue. But he's still not fully there. Meanwhile Shikamaru and Sakura and the rest of the class are between stage 3 and stage 4. To them Naruto is bad because he doesn't follow the rules and disrupts interpersonal harmony. He doesn't fit in. He acts out because he's bad. Therefore, he's rejected. Shikamaru and Sakura and the rest aren't bad people. They're kids processing things the best they know how. Developmentally they're right on track. Sakura especially had valid reasons to dislike Naruto. He does indeed harass her and act clingy and try to dominate her time and attention whenever she's trying to do anything. And he does get in the way of the relationship she wants to build with Sasuke by constantly butting in. Many girls have experienced guys like this and and can relate to Sakura's situation. The truth is that Naruto isn't mature enough for a relationship. Naruto is too attention needy and immature. Yes, he has started to realize others have needs, but he's still mostly oblivious.

And then there's Sasuke. In chapter 3 alone Sasuke shows that he: doesn't see Naruto as bad because he acts bad, he doesn't care what the group consensus is, and his opinion isn't even swayed by Naruto's own antagonistic actions towards himself. Sasuke defends Naruto. And this is very surprising. To recap: It's not surprising that the other kids treated Naruto as they did; it's not surprising Naruto acted out. But it is surprising (shocking in fact) how quickly Sasuke starts getting angry on behalf of Naruto and defends Naruto.... right after being attacked. And for being this arrogant, evil rival Naruto has made him out to be, he doesn't retaliate. What is clear is that Sasuke has already developed to a higher sense of morality that guides him. As I've said before, Sasuke was forced to grow up faster than his peers. He's transcended the belief in just following the rules of society. Society didn't help him that night he lost everything. And we see in Sasuke a disregard for rules and social systems. Yes, he still mostly follows the rules and does what he needs to get along. He doesn't completely loose his sense of morality and reject everything like Gaara. But his reasons are different from the other kids.

And we know this because of how Sasuke strategically breaks the rules. Sasuke didn't break rules just to break rules, but when he does he's adhering to a higher moral principle. There's no better example than the bell test. All of kakashi's previous genin teams flunked the bell test, which you'd expect as the kids were probably all in stages 3 and 4. To them, as to most kids, not breaking the rules given by an authority is more important than making sure some kid gets lunch. In fact, Naruto was trying to steal his lunch before Kakashi tied him up. In a sense he 'deserved' getting tied up and losing his lunch because he tried to break the rules. Of course kids are going to follow the rules after that. Kakashi's test is designed to test their moral reasoning. And no normal kid would be able to pass.... Except that Sasuke isn't a typical 12 year old. Sasuke is in stage 5 moving towards 6. For Sasuke, letting Naruto go hungry while he and Sakura eat just feels wrong. Unjust. And he's willing to defy authority and break the rules to fix that. Even though he risks losing something very important to him: his ninja status. And he also pulls both Sakura and Naruto to doing so as well. By challenging Sakura's beliefs and assumptions about Naruto Sakura stops to think more critically and stop just going with the crowd. And Naruto starts to understand many things because of Sasuke, but perhaps one of the biggest was the meaning of self-sacrifice. In a sense what sasuke did during the bell test was a foreshadowing of the Haku fight when Sasuke was forced to choose between his conscience and his life, and didn't hesitate. Your can see Sasuke's sense right and wrong have ascended beyond society and beyond mere rule following. Instead Sasuke acts out of an inner consciousness of right and wrong.

#naruto #naruto ramblings #team 7 #sakura #sakura haruno #pro sasuke #sasuke

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self-loving-vampire · 2 months

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The decision was issued in a pair of wrongful death cases brought by three couples who had frozen embryos destroyed in an accident at a fertility clinic. Justices, citing anti-abortion language in the Alabama Constitution, ruled that an 1872 state law allowing parents to sue over the death of a minor child “applies to all unborn children, regardless of their location.” “Unborn children are ‘children’ ... without exception based on developmental stage, physical location, or any other ancillary characteristics,” Justice Jay Mitchell wrote in Friday’s majority ruling by the all-Republican court.

I actually think frozen embryos are an interesting thing to think about on the subject of abortion rights precisely because it is so absurd to treat them as equivalent to actual living children.

Let's take a trolley problem situation. 100 frozen embryos on one track, 10 children around 2 years old on another. It seems really unlikely to me that even the average conservative would choose to save the embryos over the children. They are clearly not the same.

Also.

"Alabama's Chief Justice, Tom Parker, wrote in the decision that destroying life would "incur the wrath of a holy God." Of nine state Supreme Court Justices, only one disagreed."

Theocracy moment.

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csuitebitches · 1 year

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Health Check Ups List

You need to take care of your health, no matter what. It’s always better to spend a little right now to prevent bigger (and more expensive) issues later on. A rule my mother always taught me - if anything irritates/ you can feel pain/ something feels off with your ENT (Ears, Nose, Throat), get it checked out immediately.

In 2023, focus on your health. If you aren’t healthy, it will start affecting the other parts of your life - your career, personal life, social life- in the forms of stress, exhaustion, burn outs, etc.

If your periods are irregular or the bleeding isn’t consistent, visit your gyno immediately, it could be PCOS/PCOD. Always track your periods for this purpose.

Some other tests:

1. Pap and Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) tests- It is recommended to take a Pap and HPV screening between the age of 20 to 30 years to identify signs of cervical cancer and HPV virus at an early stage. Women aged between 21 and 29 should have a Pap test every three years and for women aged 25 to 29, HPV testing alone can be considered, although Pap tests are preferred.

2. Eye exam- From the age of 18 years, it is advised to get regular screening done.

3. Sexually transmitted diseases (STD)- One of the disadvantages of STD is that it shows no proper symptoms at an early stage. If a person is suffering from it, STD can be transmitted and passed on to your child and partner. Hence, it is advised to get regular screening done if a woman is sexually active.

4. Get your skin checked - At the age of 18, get your skin checked for abnormal moles or color changes on a monthly basis, especially if you're fair-skinned or frequently exposed to the sun.

5. Cholesterol - a risk factor for heart issues. Conduct your first test after the age of 20.

6. Breast cancer examination - once every 3 years after you hit your 20s.

7. Vitamin deficiency tests

8. Food allergy tests

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jennyhilsblog · 15 days

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I do most of my training real time, but I have used my experience in sissy training to create an online monitored program to develop the woman inside of you

Be aware that this program is not merely "fun and games." This program will feminize you irrevocably.

Program elements include:

Wardrobe conversion: You will be guided through the replacement of your male wardrobe with effeminate and then feminine garments. In short order you will replace all of your undergarments with Panties and Bras, and socks with hosiery. Depending on your career we will replace your male jeans with tighter female jeans or your business suits with women's business suits. Over time, your wardrobe will be completely feminine.

Feminine Grooming is also on the agenda as you grow your hair, add highlights, arch your eyebrows, do your nails, and add piercings to your ears. Over time you will appear more and more feminine and in public others will begin to misgender you and call you MIss or Maam.

Feminine Movement and Gestures: Through Video training classes Jl you will be trained to move, walk, sit, and use hand gestures as a woman.

Chastity is a requirement, as I will hold the key to a continually evolving collection of cages which will over time be reduced in size

Resexualization: No longer able to gain sexual satisfaction through your caged "clit", you will begin to stretch and sensitize your "love canal" with a set of plugs which will increase in size. Masturbation will henceforth be with vibrators and through penetration.

Hormone Therapy: We will begin with natural estrogens and you will be given instructions on how you will begin prescription estrogens and anti-androgens. Through this process, your body hair will diminish, your fat distribution and shape will change, and your genitals will shrink.

Female Self-Image: Our work will be in vain if you do not internalize that you have changed into a woman. Hypnosis is the key to changing one's self-image and through a progressive set of hypnosis programming tapes, you will learn to accept yourself, first as a sissy and then as the woman you have become.

Penetration: Now that you have accepted yourself as female, now that you look female, now that your sexuality has been retrained to yearn penetration and your brain has been bathed in estrogens, you will naturally begin to think more and more of cock. At this stage my role will be to help you accept this inevitable transition. You will be trained in how to orally service and how to give pleasure when being penetrated.

Progress Tracking: Through daily tracking of your feminization process, video training such as walking classes, chastity key holding, hypnosis programming and makeup tutorials.

Those that enroll in this program will realize their true Sissy side and embrace it.

SISSY ONLINE TRAINING STEPS

STEP 1

Monthly Calendar

Building Sissy Confidence

How to become a Great sissy

Into: Type of Sissy ( Sissy Slut ) & ( Sissy Whore)

Rules of A Sissy

Sissy Etiquette

Sissy Hygiene

Health & Nutrition

Makeup shopping

Sissy Hypnosis

Make up 911

Walking Classes Video

Sissy in Training Outfits

Butt plug Training

The Sissy Online Training consist of:

STEP 2

Sissy Maid training

Step 2 Makeup Video Techniques

BDSM Sissy shop is required

Hoe Bag and what to carry in it

Sissy Dirty Talk

Must wear bra and panties

Waxing

Tucking

Voice Training

Cock Worship

Health, Hair & Nails

Shoe Shopping

Sissy Progress Update and Mentoring

STEP 3

Corset Training

Bra Panties & Heels

Feminization

Sissification

Advanced makeup video

Chastity Training

Online walking classes

Techniques of motion and gestures

Facial expression

Subduction Choreography

BBC Training

How to carry yourself in public as a good sissy

Meet & Greet Practices

Sissy Progress Update and Mentoring

Lots of Love

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