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rachelkaser · 9 months

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Stay Golden Sunday: Rose's Big Adventure

Rose attempts to convince her newly retired boyfriend to do something fun. The Girls try to convert their garage into a guest room.

Picture It...

Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia storm into their garage, which is a mess of construction materials -- they're trying to get it converted into a guest bedroom for their visiting family. Their contractor is slacking and the work is taking weeks longer than it should have. In the living room, they run into Rose, sitting on the couch with her boyfriend Al. They're toasting his retirement, as he just sold his deli business and is looking forward to the next steps. After he leaves, Rose says she might be falling for Al.

SOPHIA: I haven't seen a crime like this in a garage since the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. DOROTHY: Ma, you did not see the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre. SOPHIA: Oh yeah, right. I was at the movies that day. All day.

Contractor Ernie, goes to leave and Dorothy fires him. Now they need to find someone else to finish the garage. Later, Dorothy and Blanche have gone through every contractor in the phone book, all of whom have given them high estimates for the garage job. Rose enters, dejected. Since his retirement, Al has done nothing during their dates except sit around and watch TV. Dorothy encourages her to talk to him about his funk.

Sophia enters and excitedly says she's found someone to fix the garage. They follow her into the garage and she introduces an elderly Italian man in a wheelchair, Vincenzo, formerly a famous architect. While he can't do the work himself, he'll tell Sophia, she'll translate and the other Girls will do the work. He also says he'll do it for free, so they agree to give a try.

SOPHIA: He says he'll do it for nothing. He likes getting away from the center. He also likes working, and most of all, he likes being in the company of pretty young girls. DOROTHY: *they're all flattered* Well, since he puts it that way, how can we refuse? It's a deal! SOPHIA: Good! *hands Dorothy a slip of paper* Here's a list of the pretty young girls he wants you to get for him.

At night, Rose is dressed up waiting for a date with Al. But when he arrives, all he wants to do is sit on the couch and watch an episode of Moonlighting. Rose finally tells him she's not satisfied with his new lethargy, given how energetic he used to be. She tells him that since he has the time now, he should do what he's always dreamed of. Al, believing she's bored with him, takes his leave.

Later, Blanche, Rose and Dorothy listen as Vincenzo begins giving out rapid instructions in Italian. Sophia tries to translate, but even in English the Girls don't understand anything he's telling them to do. Realizing it's not going to work, Vincenzo offers to bring in his own crew to finish the job at no additional cost. Al suddenly arrives and tells Rose he's considered her words and he agrees he needs to do something. He wants to fulfill a lifelong dream of sailing around the world -- a plan he's put in motion by buying a boat and hiring a crew.

SOPHIA: *translating Vincenzo's lengthy Italian spiel* Drill a toggle bolt, anchor with a 5/16th bit, and miter-cut the quarter-inch plywood after you attach the studs. BLANCHE: *beat* Only thing I recognized in there was studs.

The kicker? He wants Rose to come with him. Rose is so shocked she's awake at 2 a.m. making sverhoueven crispies. The Girls eat the tasty-but-foul-smelling treats together, though it doesn't make Rose feel better. Rose confesses that she's afraid she pushed Al too far, but the other Girls assure her it'll be good for him and Rose. She doesn't think she can accept as it's too impulsive.

The next day, several elderly men that comprise Vincenzo's crew are working on the garage as he gives orders. Rose arrives and says she's still stuck on what to do about Al. Sophia translates a remark from Vincenzo as a lengthy cautionary tale about regret over not taking risks. Rose, ecstatic, says she'll take the plunge and go sailing with Al. According to Sophia, Vincenzo actually told them all to get out because they're distracting his crew.

BLANCHE: Ooh, I love champagne! DOROTHY: Me too! The only problem is after a few glasses, I'll kiss any man in sight. *she sips, there's a loud splash* SOMEONE: Man overboard!! BLANCHE: . . . that was just a coincidence, Dorothy.

The Girls later arrive at Al's ship, where Rose is excited to get underway. She finds him lingering by the side of the boat and happily prattles to him about how she loves him and is ready to go on a big adventure with him. Al, on the other hand, tells her he's going to puke -- he's seasick already and the ship hasn't even left harbor yet. So there'll be no sailing around the world for either of them. Rose, while disappointed, comforts him and says they can try other adventures.

Sometime later, Rose says she and Al have another date planned. Sophia says Vincenzo is finished and wants to show them the garage. They run out and find the garage -- looks like a garage. Sophia asks Vincenzo what happened, and there was apparently a translation error. He offers to actually do the remodeling, but they refuse and tell Sophia to thank Vincenzo. In another apparent mistranslation, Sophia accidentally offers him Dorothy's hand in marriage.

SOPHIA: Well, at least he's Italian! *she leaves, and the other Girls run out of the garage with Vincenzo hobbling after, half-out of his wheelchair*

"Blanche, you'll do the screwing -- and he came up with that one on his own, I swear."

How ironic (and slightly melancholy) that an episode titled "Rose's Big Adventure" ends with Rose not going on a big adventure of any description. I'm not sure what it says about Rose's taste that she keeps getting with these men who can't fulfill her expectations, but in this case I can't help but wonder if she's putting a little too much on Al. Still, it's hard to fault an episode with as many memorable scenes as this one has.

VINCENZO: Io, e solo io, sono in controllo. SOPHIA: "I am in charge." VINCENZO: Il sono el padrone. SOPHIA: "I am the boss." VINCENZO: Il sono el maestro. SOPHIA: "I am the master." VINCENZO: Il sono la ballena. SOPHIA: "I am the walrus." DOROTHY: Ma, either your Italian is rusty or he's the world's oldest hippie.

I actually kind of feel for Al at the end of this episode. While his decision to blow his entire life savings on a boat and crew is a little . . . hasty -- seriously, Rose even suggested just hopping on a cruise ship, which would probably have been cheaper -- he seems to do so because his girlfriend suggested he was too lethargic for her following his retirement. I do agree that one should not slip fully into potatohood because one has retired, but damn it, at least give the man who's run a deli for decades and who admits he's always dreamed of retiring a chance to stop and catch his breath.

That being said, I also see where Rose is coming from. Al's malaise doesn't just affect him when he makes date plans and then cancels just to lounge on Rose's couch and watch an episode of Moonlighting. He then swings hard in the other direction when she suggests he maybe get off his duff by doing something so financially ruinous that I can't help but wonder whether he's going to have to unretire himself after that nonsense. Was there seriously nothing between the two extremes? Not even getting their picture taken with Goofy at Disneyland?

BLANCHE: Well it seems to me we have two choices. One, we can beg Ernie's forgiveness. Or two, we can find another contractor. SOPHIA: Or three, the Sicilian method: Torch the garage, collect the insurance, and build a summer house with a view of the ocean. Personally, I like number three.

The B-plot this time has a lot more going on. The Girls are trying to convert their garage into a guest room as they have lots of family visiting (seems like a booking at a Best Western would be more cost-effective, but what do I know). When the first contractor, who screws them over on purpose, walks out, they end up hiring a friend of Sophia's who screws them over by accident. The Girls just can't catch a break, can they? Their attempts to do it themselves only last for one scene, unlike Dorothy and Rose's successful attempt to install a toilet.

Given that his role in the plot is to attempt to build the Girls a guest room -- and to obfuscate said task by not speaking a word of English -- Vincenzo doesn't have much in the way of characterization unless you count being, in Sophia's words, a "wrinkled old pervert." Where Sophia found an elderly Italian architect in Miami, I have no idea, but at least it makes the trope of "miscommunication as conflict" a bit more understandable. I'm a little confused that Dorothy wasn't able to understand Vincenzo -- perhaps she isn't fluent anymore, but Italian should be at least her second language, no?

ROSE: I'm gonna have to sleep on it. SOPHIA: "Sleep on it." Men, sex, all I do is listen to your sexual problems. How about my sexual problems? DOROTHY: Ma, what is your sexual problem? SOPHIA: I don't get any! And I read in a magazine where a woman is at her sexual peak at 83. BLANCHE: Sophia, I read that same article, honey. It was 33. SOPHIA: Really . . . then all those feelings I've been having lately must be colitis. Sorry I interrupted! Good night!

While they don't necessarily hang together very well, the individual scenes of the episode are definitely memorable. Vincenzo instructing the Girls to no effect, Sophia telling the story of an architect who regrets choosing safety over history in WW2, and of course Rose's Sperhoeven Krispies, the ancient Scandinavian midnight snack. It's that last one that's always intrigued me -- I've never wanted to taste a nonexistent food so much as I do these horrible-smelling but fantastic-tasting sweets.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰 (three cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode

The Girls nom some smelly treats, and Sophia comes in with the perfect punchline.

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#golden girls #rose nylund #sophia petrillo #picture it #stay golden #stay golden sunday #dorothy zbornak #blanche devereaux #s03e22 #Youtube

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