#SDCP1000

[leahblackk]

Soulmates, myths, philosophers and invisible strings

(Not my gif. Whoever made it thank you and I’m sorry)

Summary: Dr. Reid is a very loved professor in the college he teaches at, when he’s not working on the BAU. There’s also another person who is very loved in said college and that’s Miss Y/L also known as Spencer’s female version. The students thought they were soulmates so… why don’t tell pull the strings that were already attached?

Couple: Professor!Spencer Reid x fem!professor!reader

Warnings: Spencer mention things about killers when he’s teaching. Let me know if you find something else!

Song this fic was inspired: Invisible string by Taylor Swift (mostly)

Category: Fluff and maybe a little bit of humour. I’m not good with jokes but I like to think this has a little bit of it.

Word count: 3793 words (not exactly)

Hello!! I’m so so excited about this fic and I’m so so happy to say that it’s for @samuel-de-champagne-problems’s fic challenge for her 1,000 followers. Congrats my love! I’m so so happy and proud of you and I hope you can like this fic a little <3

Warning: there’s much about Greek mythology like a lot of it and that’s because I’m obsessed with it. All of this was basically just me being a nerd and sharing some dumb knowledge with you so I’m sorry for that!!

Tagging: @measure-in-pain, @alexlovescriminalminds and @all-tings-diego

Spencer never felt more comfortable doing something besides his job as an FBI agent until he became a professor in the criminology and physiology field in one of the colleges in DC because he loved to ramble about things he was passionate about, and he loved to know people could learn from what he knew, so teaching was definitely one of his favourite things to do.

Luckily, he became one of the most loved professors around the college. He felt flattered about it. Some of them loved him because of his looks, others because of the way he acted around them, always helping people who needed so and he was never mean, he was understanding and he would help you if you had troubles, he was also adored because of the subject he teaches. People loved to hear his stories in the FBI.

Yet he competed for the title of the best professor with the history and literature teacher, Miss Y/n Y/L. He knew who she was, they were coworkers after all, but Spencer never personally spoke with her. He saw her in the hallways, in the parking lot, sometimes even in the metro. He saw her in the library, in the cafeteria, in the meetings. He always saw her and felt something about her, yet he never spoke to her even if he wanted to. Even if he was dying to. He feel this need to be close to her and it frustrated him because he couldn’t explain why.

He heard stories from her and how amazing she was from his students. He felt a little jealous about it, but he couldn't actually mind.

Spencer, to be sincere, died to speak to this popular teacher, but he never dared to do so. Always scared he was going to mess it up or say the wrong thing.

Until a week ago when she was looking for a book. Spencer saw her in a comfy blue cardigan, her high black converse, and mismatched socks. His legs trembled. If he felt attracted to her before, he did much now.

"Do you need help with something?" He politely asked, standing behind her. His body was a little close to her, not much enough to make her uncomfortable but long enough to smell her perfume and hair, a smell he found familiar, but he didn't know where. His heart started to go faster and faster.

"Hi, yes. I'm looking for this book for my class, but I don't know where it is. I have knowledge there's only one copy of them here, you know how the library school is," she started to ramble. She looked down from his hazel, daring, and sweet eyes, and her face started to feel warmer.

Spencer Reid had an effect in people not even him knew. His eyes could melt ice just by a simple glaze and he could definitely melt someone’s heart.

"Yeah, the library sucks sometimes," he said trying to make her look at him, he was dying to feel her eyes on him once again, “Uh, which book are you looking for?” he asked.

She took her phone out and showed him a picture of one of the classic Greek mythology books, getting closer to his body and feeling his warmth. Spencer bend down a little to see the phone perfectly and his breath was on the back of her neck. He recognized the book. One of his favourites even. He looked at the table that was next to them. He was reading the book once again.

He walked and stretched his hand out to take the hardcover and cold book into his large hands. The book was old and a little broken, but the history in its pages remains untouchable.

"Here," Spencer handed the book. She looked at his hands.

"Oh, but you are reading it," she felt guilty then.

"Don't worry. I already read it like a thousand times," he chuckled, "But you can give it back to me once you finish," he said, looking forward to talking to her again.

Y/n sweetly smiled, and Spencer could feel himself being already under her spell, "Thank you and, of course, Dr. Reid."

And with that, she left.

Spencer's cheeks got warmer, and the blushed quickly appeared on his face while the smile never fade away.

She knew his name.

…

Spencer walked around his classroom. The bell hasn’t rung just yet, and he was waiting for his students to come in. He prepared a fun class for them, with some activities and mostly knowledge for those who actually were interested in the subject and not just him walking around and rambling.

He organized the papers and the books on his desk, and the bell finally made its sound while the students came in and started talking about the class they just had.

"Miss Y/L is so fun. I always look forward to going to her classroom," a girl said while sitting in the front seat while her friends followed her.

Spencer's heart stopped when he heard her name. He wiped the sweat out of his hands on his pants, trying to look as normal as possible.

"And she is hot," A boy whose name Spencer knew as Jaeden spoke and sat next to the brunette girl.

"You only think of that," the brunette said with annoyance rolling her eyes.

"As you do with Dr. Reid," the boy let out, looking at Spencer.

On the other hand, Spencer raised his eyebrows, looking at the girl who was too embarrassed to even look at him in the eyes.

Spencer cleared his throat when he saw everyone was on their seats already, trying to pretend he didn’t heard what Jaeden just said to not embarrass the girl any further, "Alright. I think we should start with the class," he said, walking to his desk for the papers he was going to hand. He grabbed them, his hair falling on his face and he could hear someone sighed.

But his plans were interrupted when the door softly opened. Spencer's eyes look at the sound, with one hand grabbing the papers and the other getting the hair away from his eyes. And he saw her figure, she shone like golden, pure golden.

"Miss Y/L," he said, trying to contain a smile but failed.

The class looked at Spencer's face who smiled sweetly, and their eyes travelled to miss Y/l, who also had a smile on her face. They could sense the energetic want to wrapped each other in their arms, it was strong and it embraced everyone in the room.

The brunette girl looked at Jaeden, who got closer to her heart, "She stole your man already. Look at him all whipped," he laughed, trying to make the brunette jealous. But she wasn't.

"Jokes on you. We already got married in my dreams."

Jaeden rolls his eyes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt the class, Dr. Reid, but-" she began to say, but Spencer cut her in the middle of the sentence.

"Call me Spencer, please. I-if you'd like."

The class giggled a little, and Spencer looked at the floor, feeling like a schoolboy again.

Y/n smiled at him, "I brought the book back, Spencer."

He smiled at the way she said his name. It sounds so sweet, so beautiful and angelic, so… familiar. It made him feel butterflies all over his stomach. He tried not to blush. Apparently, that was the only thing he was doing in front of her.

She walked carefully. Her students knew she wore mismatched socks. They never questioned why but they didn't know Spencer did as well until she stood in front of him, their feet looking at each other. Converse with Converse and mismatched socks with mismatched socks.

She wore one blue and one yellow, and he wore one yellow and one blue. They didn't notice, but their students did.

Y/n gave Spencer the book, and he carefully took it, without looking away from her. "T-Thank you," he carefully said grabbing his papers with much force as he thought they would fall at any moment.

She smiled and looked at his students, "Behave well, kids. Especially you, Jaeden," Spencer looked at the boy who had his cheek blushed.

Jannet, the brunette girl, lifted her hand before Miss Y/L left the classroom, "Did you know, Miss Y/L, that Jaeden has a crush on you?" She tried to have some revenge for what he had done earlier.

The class giggled again, and so did Y/n, "Yeah, he told me about it the second class we had together," She smiled, looking at Spencer one more time to then leave. Leaving Spencer as mess, wanting to run and follow her.

Spencer looked at the door where she just walked out, and Jaeden looked at him, "Same, Dr. Reid," Spencer frowned and looked at him.

"What?"

"What?"

…

Spencer walked through the library hallways of the college once again. There was a magnetic something that drove him there. Like a magnet. That's what he liked to think instead of thinking he was there because he knew she was there.

There was something about her he couldn't stop thinking about. Maybe it was her kindness and the way people talked about her, or how he, unconsciously and by that he meant totally conscious, saw one of her classes outside of the door in the cold hallway before his class. She mainly teaches about myths, especially Greek mythology ones, while she also talks about literature. It was her own subject, and the way she was passionate about it made Spencer tremble, and his heart felt this heartwarming feeling. He could feel something pulling him into her, but he couldn't figure out why exactly. Which instead of pulling him away, it called him like wolves to the moon. It pulled him more and more.

The way her eyes sparkled, and she moved her hands while she moved around the room. Yeah, it excited him. It made him feel like he could be like that with her and he would be not judged at all.

So maybe he was, indeed, in need to talk to her. Once he did, he couldn't stop anymore. But he wasn't complaining.

He held one book in his arms and walked while he scrunched his nose a couple of times, feeling nervous. And he saw her at the end of the hallway next to a window with the sunset illuminating her face.

She frowned at the new sense of presence. One she had felt every time the handsome Dr. Reid was around.

So she lifted her head, and her eyes looked straight to his hazel ones. Ones that had been haunting her for long enough. It felt different when she looked at everyone else. No one's eyes felt as exciting and sparkly as him, to be under his gaze and be admired, even only for breve seconds, for the most comforting and beautiful pair of eyes her own ones never had the privilege to analyze, until know.

So, even if she was intimidated by eye contact, she took the seconds her soul dared to look at his to memorize it. To love. She wanted to be able to know those windows to the soul as they were her own.

And when the eye contact was enough, she looked down, smiling at him first, of course. Smile that had Dr. Reid under a spell that couldn't be broken even with the strongest or wickest magic that could ever exist.

He felt devoted to her.

And so did she.

"Miss Y/n, "Spencer said without being able to keep the smile in. The butterflies acting up, and he licked his lips for a brief second. She repeated what he did and licked her own. They were synchronized already.

"Dr. Reid," she answered, with a shy smile as well.

On the other side, behind some tall shelves, two kids were spying on their conversation. Jaeden and Jannet.

"Care to repeat why we are spying on our educators?" Jaeden asked.

Jannet rolled her eyes, "They love each other. It's pretty obvious."

"And?"

"Miss Y/l, it's like Dr. Reid's female version, or he is hers. The point is, because of that, they won't be able to move forward in their relationship. That's why we have to act and help them out."

"We? Excuse me, but I won't have any part in this," Jaeden argues.

"Then I will have to look for someone else to help me out, but they will end up together, and I can assure you that."

"What are you two doing?" Melissa, their friend, asks behind them, making them jump in their place, "Why are you two spying on them?"

"Jannet wants to parent trap them. She wants to do Eros's job," he rolled his eyes.

"Someone listens to Miss Y/ns class," Jannet jokes.

"Oh, I am totally in if you want some help," Melissa proposed, "I love how they look together even though I had a crush on both of them," she admitted.

Jaeden looked at her with a frowned, but said nothing. Melissa was the combination between him and Jannet, although he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

"I do want your help, Melissa. Thanks for being a good friend," Jannet said with sarcasm looking at Jaeden. He groans.

"Alright. I will help you out."

"Excellent."

Spencer moved closer on the couch to her. Their knees slightly touching each other, a small move but strong enough to make them feel goosebumps, "And what are you teaching this week?" Spencer asked.

"We are talking about how different the myths can be depending on who tells them or where they get their information. The kids keep believing Medusa was Athena's priestess," Spencer nodded and chuckled.

"But isn't that version of the roman myth?" he asked.

Yes, he knew the answer to that question, but she wanted to hear it from her.

"Actually," she said, preparing to talk, "There's a few versions of the myth out there, but the one of Medusa being Athena's priestess and then being cursed was created by a man who used to change myths to fit his agenda. But the Greek myth is completely different."

Spencer looked at her. She looked beautiful while she explained something he completely knew but coming from her was like learning for the first time. It made him feel excited.

He could only nod. He didn't know what else to say as he was mesmerized by her.

She wasn’t only just beautiful and kind, but she was intelligent as well. Spencer thought that maybe she was the real goddess after all.

"What about you? What are you teaching?" Spencer came back to reality. He cleared his throat before speaking, shaking slightly his head.

"I'm gonna explain the different stressors and triggers in people and how that can affect the way they behave," he explained shortly.

“Interesting. Doesn’t that, sometimes, make them killers?” She asked loving the way he explained everything, his voice and the way he pronounced his words. No doubt why some of her students went to his class even if they weren’t studying that subject.

“It effects in the whole process for them to become one. Other ones had it in them and the triggers only push them into actually doing it.”

“Romantic subject,” she chuckled. Spencer smiled.

"Indeed."

They both chuckled, staring into each other's eyes and looking away after a few seconds. Feeling obsessed with each other each second that passed by.

…

Y/n sat on her desk waiting for her students to come in. She always sat like that with her legs crossed above each other as it was more comfortable for her instead of the chair here she had awful back pain, and maybe it was because of her bad posture.

She hoped her students like the subject she had chosen for that day. The irony of life was about to hit her very soon.

The bell rang, and they came in saying quick greets to her, to which she responded with a quiet voice and smile.

"Alright, kids take your seats and pull the popcorns out because we are gonna talk about some myths," she makes a short jump from her desk to the ground and takes a marker to start writing.  

Greek mythology about soulmates, she wrote.

Jannet, Melissa, and Jaeden almost choked on their drinks when they saw what they were going to learn, "If this isn't a sign, then I don't know what else it is," Melissa quickly whispered to her friend. Jannet nodded.

"We all have heard of the different versions of soulmates and what they are," she explained. At the same time, she moved around, moving her hands as tools of illustration, "The most famous one that I think many people know is the string that the myth says it's connected on our pinkies and to our person," she moved her pinkie, "The greeks thought different," Y/n said sitting on her desk once again, "The greek myth says humans were once one, with two faces, two legs, two arms, and one soul, from there comes the name soul mates. Some might have said Zeus feared them, and that's why he slipped them in two, and they were cursed to look for the other half for the rest of their life, but they actually offended him, and you should know better than to offend a god. Mostly Zeus," the classes nodded, "He split them in two , condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. Plato approved this Egyptian religion-philosophy, but Cicero didn't, he said, and I quote, "I express my surprise at the slow-wittedness of those who would have it that a living endowed with both immortality and blessedness is 'spherical' in shape, merely because Plato maintains that no shape is more beautiful than the sphere. In my view, the cylinder, the cube, the cone, and the pyramid are more beautiful. And what sort of life is assigned to this rotund god?"

“What a jerk," Jaeden said, and the class laughed.

Y/n chuckled, "We all have our different opinions."

"What about you, Miss Y/n. Do you believe in soulmates?" Jannet asked. There was some wit behind that question, of course. After her plans to put Dr. Reid and her together, Y/n didn't know this just yet.

"I teach myths. I believe in myths. I do believe in soulmates. Do you?"

Jannet let out a smirk, "I do. Absolutely do."

…

"Okay, let's take a moment now to discuss the difference between a trigger and a stressor," he explained, moving his hands to explain his point, "A trigger is a sensory event experienced by an offender that precipitates subsequent behaviour, whereas a stressor is a longer-term pattern of behaviour or circumstances which push a person into behaving differently than they normally would," he stopped to look at his students, "I've heard many stories of different serial killer and why they have killed. Some of them just because they get excited with the adrenaline that comes with killing, and others can have something that drove them to that point, such as revenge, jealousy, and even love. I once worked a case of a man who killed women who didn't fit the idea of what he wanted as a soulmate, and he explained he killed them because they weren't his soulmate. He took them out on a date and if they weren’t want he wanted, he stabbed them repeatedly and dump them where they had their date.”

Melissa lifted her hand, and Spencer gave her permission to talk, "What are the odds of meeting our soulmates?" she asked.

Spencer frowned at the question. However, he answered, "Mathematical estimates indicate that your chances of finding your soul mate are only 1 in 10,000, which is 0,010 percent, which is mathematically impossible as you have to assume all the things your soulmates is supposed to have in order to be with you such as having the same age as you as you were destined since birth," he explained.

"Do you believe in soulmates, Dr. Reid?" Jannet asked.

"No. I think it is highly impossible to have someone who is destined to be with you just because."

"Miss Y/n actually spoke today about what the Greeks thought about soulmates and their myth," Jaeden said, "And what Plato and Cicero thought about it. It reminds me of you and her."

Spencer raised an eyebrow, "How come?"

"Plato believed the myths as Miss Y/n does. She said she believed in soulmates, and Cicero was driven more by science and maths and said he didn't believe in those like you."

The bell rang, and everyone got out, leaving Spencer with doubts running through his head. Y/n believed in soulmates? Of course, she did. She teaches myths. She must.

And he is a man of science.

He couldn’t believe in soulmates.

Could he?

…

"Okay, the plan is ready," Jannet informed Melissa.

"Today is the perfect day as they both spoke about soulmates," Melissa said trying to contain her excitement.

"You two are absolutely crazy," Jaeden said, but the girls didn't pay attention as they walked to Dr. Reid's classroom. He looked at them to ask what they needed, but they talked first.

"Dr. Reid! Miss Y/n asked if you could go to her classroom. She said she needed help with something," Jannet spoke. Spencer frowned. He had some things to do, but if she needed him…

Spencer didn't say anything and just walked with them until they got to her classroom. Spencer saw her sitting on her desk while she read a book. He always got hypnotized by how beautiful she looked, even doing common and mundane things like reading, but then it came to his mind. She didn't need any help.

He was going to turn around to ask, but the door was closed and locked. And they heard Melissa's voice, "He doesn't believe in soulmates, Miss. Y/L Talk some sense to him."

Y/n frowned, "You don't believe in soulmates, Dr. Reid?"

Spencer turned around to face her, he lifted his hand to touch his hair, and he spoke then, "I uh. I do not."

She sweetly smiled, bringing a leg to her chest and resting her chin on her knee, looking at him, "I thought so. You look like someone who doesn't believe in anything mystic."

"I-I believe in ghosts and magic!" he tried to defend himself.

Y/n chuckled, "And you don't believe in soulmates?"

"No," he murmured, "It's technically impossible. You know the odds of finding your soulmate are-"

"1 in 10,000?"

"Y-Yeah," he said, raising an eyebrow, "And if you know that, why do you still believe in it?" He got closer to her without even noticing. He sat next to her on the desk, crossing his legs.

"It's nice to think there's someone destined to be with you, someone who is at the end of the golden string and waiting," she murmured, looking at him, "I have never been good with love and to think there's someone who could love me even if i am a complete mess it's a good thing. Besides, Greek mythology isn't a fantasy book. It's a religion alive."

Spencer nodded, his heart aching yet her words being awfully familiar, "I'm not good with love either," he confessed, feeling like he just drank a bottle of truth potion, "I-I fell in love with someone as well, someone who could understand me and I thought we were meant like…like soulmates but she was taken from me in front of my eyes," he looked at her, compassion and empathy on her eyes, he was waiting for pity, but there was none.

"Soulmates are still soulmates even if death takes them apart."

"I know, but that was different."

"I guess the universe decided to bring us together," she said, regretting her words as soon as they left her mouth. That sounds like she is telling him they are soulmates, "I-I mean for emotional support and everything. I-I'm not saying you and I are-"

"Y/n?"

"Yes, Spencer?"

"Haven't you felt weird since we first talked?" he could see the clear confusion on her face, "There's something that makes me be here with you instead of any other place, like-like," he struggled with the words.

"Like you were attached and pulled with an- "

"Invisible String."

She nodded, "Like an Invisible String."

"Are you my soulmate, Y/n Y/L?"

"Why don't you come and figure it out, Spencer Reid?"

He smiled sweetly at her, turning around on the desk to be sitting in front of her. She did the same. Spencer grabbed her hands and kissed them, then looked up at her. Her breath got cut, and Spencer leaned in, taking with one hand her right cheek, and the other rested on her waist, "May I kiss you? I've been dying to feel the sweetness of your lips," he whispered, looking at her lips pulling their foreheads together. Y/n closed her eyes and licked her lips for a second.

"I thought you would never ask."

And he didn't need anything else as he connected their lips together. She and Spencer sighed. It felt like a relief in the middle of the storm, like cold on a hot summer night. It felt like a puzzle being finally connected with its right parts.

Spencer pulled away, his forehead still resting on hers, “You know? For a minute I actually thought you were a Greek goddess.”

She gasped, “Oh no. You discover my secret. It was a tramp Spencer, my lips have not sweetness in them, it’s poison.”

Spencer smiled, “It was worth to kiss you, even if that would bring me death,” he gave her a quick kiss.

“Don’t you want to tell that to your scientist self? About the odds of meeting your soulmate?”

“I think you are the 1 in the 10,000”

“Mathematically impossible huh?”

“You’re not gonna let that one fade away, are you?”

She shook her head and smiled, “Nope. Not even for a bit, not now, not ever, not-“

Spencer kissed her again.

She smiled in the middle of the kiss.

And they kissed sweetly. It was sweet and passionate. But the string was finally connected with its other half.

The soul, with its companion.

Take that, Cicero.

And isn't it just so pretty to think All along, there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?

#criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #doctor reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #writing challenge #SDCP1000 #soulmates #soulmates fic #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid fic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #professor!reid #professor!reader

[radiant-reid]

Please don't ever become a stranger

Summary: The morning after the BAU's farewell for SSA Y/n Y/l/n stirs up some hidden feelings with Spencer Reid.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: Alcohol consumption (by Reader and other characters) | Maeve’s death | gun violence | being held hostage

Word Count: 4k

Song Inspired by: New Year's Day

A/n: This is my entry to @samuel-de-champagne-problems's 1k follower's challenge, so big congratulations to her on the milestone!! Also, any italicized writing is flashbacks. If anyone's interested, I have two more Taylor-Swift-inspired fics here and here.

It was actually quiet. David Rossi's house was silent. The last time Y/n was awake, it was more than lively. It was wild, electrifying, and thrilling. Every second was celebratory.

Groggily, she sat up. Head absolutely pounding, disoriented, and oddly comfortable.

As soon as she opened her eyes, the light streaming through the window blinded her. Why the sun had to be so bright, she didn't know. She remembered something Spencer once said about nuclear fusion before realizing it made her head thump louder. Plus, the sun had never been as bright.

When her eyes finally adjusted, head still aching, she took her surroundings in. Blinking slowly as she pieced together some of the night. Most of it was clear, but the events after 3am were blurred. And she had no idea where she had eventually passed out.

It was the couch, she realized. The enormous, spacious, C-shaped couch. There was a chunky knit blanket wrapped over her.

Gazing around, gradually taking in her surroundings, she noticed Emily. The Unit Cheif of the BAU was curled up in the middle section of the couch. Snoring lightly, Y/n knew she'd have a terrible headache when she woke up. Emily could hold her liquor fairly well, but she was plastered by 1am, still doing shots. Badass Emily Prentiss.

Next to her was Tara. Silk top creased, her blue blazer, and matching pants still on. It can't have been a comfortable outfit to sleep in, Y/n figured. But she was much more stretched out than Emily.

Y/n was still unsure of how she got there, lying on the couch in bike shorts and someone else's jumper. Her intense headache was too uncomfortable for her to just lay there.

She swung her legs off the couch, feet hitting the carpeted floor as she pulled herself up. It didn't help her head at all. Dazed, she made her way to Rossi's kitchen.

Once she was in the kitchen, she noticed all the leftover food and alcohol. Then the confetti, balloons, and streamers decorating the room.

"Here." A voice said. It registered in her brain as Spencer's voice.

Y/n took in his form, standing near the kitchen bench. He was gesturing at the Advil and glass of water on the bench.

He looked far more composed than Y/n, she was sure, suit pants, shirt untucked but not ruffled, missing a tie, and without a suit jacket. It wasn't exactly how he'd looked the previous night, but he looked decent enough to leave the house.

Y/n hadn't thought about it until then, but her makeup was probably a mess. Not to mention her hair that would be all over the place.

She walked over to him, swallowing the pill. "Have I told you I loved you today?" She asked jokingly.

Spencer chuckled before nodding. Y/n's eyes went wide as she tried to remember when that could have happened. Spencer was kind enough to fill her in. "You were so drunk you were almost asleep, and I put you on the couch. That's when you told me you loved me like a thousand times." He informed her with a laugh.

It wasn't odd for the two friends to tell each other they loved each other. It was something any member of the team would tell another.

Y/n nodded, walking away from him so she could pick up a piece of pizza. "Well, I meant it, Doctor Reid." She told him genuinely. "I don't remember much of what happened after like three." She declared, taking a bite of the slice of pizza. Surprisingly, it tasted just as good as it did the night before.

"Don't eat that," Spencer told her, making her halt, the slice of pizza still in her mouth.

"Spencer Reid, if you're about to tell me some fact about germs, I really don't care. I'm so hungover." Y/n told him bluntly. Usually, she loved his facts, but at that moment, she needed greasy day-old pizza.

Spencer shook his head. "Your body can't digest both greasy foods and alcohol." He informed her dutifully, walking over to take the piece of pizza out of her hand. "Also, don't 'Spencer Reid' me, Y/n Y/l/n."

Y/n vigorously shook her head, stepping back from him. "Spencer Reid, do not come between a woman and her pizza. Especially when she's hungover." She told him firmly, stepping away from him to keep a considerable distance between them.

"Fine, fine." Spencer agreed, holding his hands up in defense. Y/n relaxed, sitting on one of the bench stools. "I'm sure Rossi has eggs or stuff to make a smoothie or some form of carbs. I can make you something." He offered, opening the fridge to inspect what Rossi had.

"Spence, I'm good, really." Y/n insisted, convincing him to shut the door.

Spencer slid a bottle of water over to her. "Drink something, at least."

Y/n settled on the compromise, taking a sip of the water. Once she finished it, she spoke. "I'm going to clean up a little." She decided, looking around the room at the mess that had accumulated.

"I'll help," Spencer said, picking up some of the glass bottles scattered around the bench. Y/n did the same thing with the copious number of wine glasses, champagne flutes, beer bottles, and lowball glasses.

They talked as they cleaned up, swept up the confetti, and picked up the streamers. Somehow, they'd managed to keep the mess in the kitchen, lounge, and outside.

"Does Rossi have any pain medication?" Tara asked from the doorway, clutching her head, her tone rough. Y/n nodded towards the rest of the Advil on the bench. "You are my favorite person on this entire plant." She confirmed, walking over to take some.

"Spencer's the one who found it." Y/n credited the mop of curly hair that was currently wiping down the bench.

Spencer looked up at them, drawing his attention off the task he was meticulously completing. "They don't call me a genius for nothing." He joked, earning giggles from the girls.

Once she stopped laughing, Tara clutched her head again. "Ouch." She complained.

"Is Em up?" Y/n asked.

Tara lightly shook her head, trying to cause the most minimal amount of pain. "She has it worse, throwing up in the bathroom." She explained. "I'll take her some Advil and water, though."

Like she was being called upon, Emily walked into the open room. Y/n assumed she felt dreadful, and she didn't look much better.

Noticing the look on her face, Spencer chuckled a little. "Good morning, Emily." He spoke cheerfully.

Emily gripped the bench in front of her, clenching her eyes closed. "No, it's not, Reid." She responded, only making him laugh more. Y/n couldn't help but giggle as well. "I am Unit Chief, so I'm ordering you two to be quiet." She commanded them, giving them both a stern look

"Here," Tara said, placing an Advil in front of her. "I'm going to get our stuff, and then we can go." She informed her.

Emily nodded, taking the pill before sitting down on a barstool. "Please, never let me drink that much again." Emily pleaded. It was something she said every time she was hungover, clearly, it wasn't working.

"Okay, Emily." Y/n agreed, just to make her happy. Spencer shot her an 'oh, really' look, which she replied by shaking her head.

Tara returned only a moment later, two pairs of heels in hand. Emily took her own pair as she got off the seat.

Wordlessly, Y/n walked over to the couple, immediately hugging Tara. She hugged her back tightly.

Once they pulled away, Emily pulled Y/n in for a hug. "Promise to always text me back?" She asked tenderly.

Y/n nodded on her shoulder. "Of course, Em." She reassured her. "Unless you're drunk texting me at 3 in the morning." She added, feeling the vibrations of Emily's chest as she laughed.

Emily pulled back, eyes glossy but smiling. "Okay, so we'll see you soon." She stated, attempting to solidify the thought in Y/n's head. It was all in vain Y/n was going to see them as much as possible.

"You will," Y/n confirmed. "Now, go home before you make me cry." She commanded jokingly, wiping the tears that had slipped down her own cheeks as Emily did the same.

Farewells have never been something Y/n liked. Just the thought that someone could believe it was the last time they'd see another person was upsetting. And, although she didn't say it or believe it, a small part of Y/n was terrified she wouldn't see them again. She wouldn't be there on cases if something went wrong, but she knew they'd all be okay. They had to be.

Emily nodded, not wanting to prolong the painful goodbye. Tara flashed Y/n a gentle smile before they left the room.

Watching them walk away was sadder than Y/n expected it to be. Obviously, she was going to see them again. But she had known Emily for 10 years, working side by side while Emily was at the BAU. Emily had been right by her side through so much, it was hard to think it might not be the same. Y/n had been at her funeral, but the thought that her own departure was going to cause a break in the friendship was terrifying. She felt just as heartbroken as when Emily moved back to London.

Y/n had become close with Tara, too, in the few years they'd worked together. They had an immediate bond. Tara had always been motherly, checking up on Y/n when she could tell something was bothering her. They had lots of late-night, hotel room talks during cases.

Still, there was one person she knew it was going to be harder to say goodbye to.

"Hey, are you alright, love?" Spencer's voice drew her out of her reminiscing.

Y/n lightly nodded. "Yeah." She replied weakly, determined not to cry.

"Come on." Spencer directed her, taking her hand and walking outside. Y/n followed him, sitting on the outdoor couch. Spencer sat next to her.

She focused her attention on the clear, cloudless, blue sky and Rossi's perfectly green lawn. The backyard held so many memories, from team dinners to JJ's wedding. Now last night's party would be added to that list.

"Remember JJ's wedding?" Spencer asked, drawing her attention back to him.

Y/n nodded, smiling a little about the likeness in their thinking. It had always been that way

She was absolutely in tears. Not JJ, the bride, Y/n.

The hours of the bank robbery had been nothing but pressure, worry, and pain. Possibly the most Y/n had felt in her time at the BAU. She'd seen JJ's face when Will walked in there, completely distraught. Somehow, thankfully, Y/n managed to compartmentalize it all. It gave her the ability to work objectively, just like Hotch wanted.

But now it was all spilling out. Happy tears, of course, but she was ready for a healthy cry. The whole idea was beautiful: marriage, a lifelong commitment to the love of your life.

Spencer was right next to her, offering her tissues and wiping up the mascara staining her face.

"I'm crying more than JJ." Y/n mentioned through her sniffles.

Spencer chuckled lightly at her. "I know." He commented rather unhelpful, earning him a punch in the arm from Y/n. "Sorry, love." He backtracked, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. Y/n rested her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Spence." She quietly said, grateful for his comfort.

They sat there together for a few minutes, everyone else going to the dancefloor.

"Do you want to go dance?" Spencer asked after he heard the music start to play.

Y/n looked up at him, surprised. "Spencer Reid, I thought you didn't know how to dance." She asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "I might just have been keeping it a secret until someone needed it, Y/n Y/l/n." He contrastingly said sweetly. "So, can I have this dance or not, love?" Spencer stood up, holding his hand out for her to take.

Y/n took it, Spencer pulling her up and dragging her to the dance floor. He held on to her hips tenderly, Y/n resting her hands on his shoulders. They only got closer as the songs went on, Y/n's head resting on the left side of his chest and Spencer's hands on the small of her back, their bodies as close as possible.

It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that Spencer called a taxi. Neither he nor Y/n had driven, like most of the team. But he didn't want her going alone.

"Spence?" Y/n asked, head on his shoulder in the back seat of the taxi.

Spencer looked down at her, noticing how the moonlight illuminated her face. "Yeah?" He asked softly.

Y/n didn't say anything, instead, she squeezed his hand. 3 times.

'I love you.'

Spencer knew what she meant. He squeezed her hand back. It was something they got used to doing. Y/n started it on the jet back from a case. They'd been holding hands for a while

"Thanks for coming home with me that night." Y/n mentioned, unsure of if she'd told him that night. Once again, there had been a lot of drinking.

Spencer nodded. "I love sleeping on your couch." He joked with a smile.

Y/n giggled at him, shaking her head. "I said you could get in bed with me." She recalled. "Wait, why didn't you?" She realized she never had an answer to that. After that night, she didn't really think about it again.

"Didn't want you to wake up and think, uh, something happened." Spencer quietly mentioned, blushing slightly at the implication of them hooking up.

Y/n didn't think his comment was awkward at all, she was eternally grateful for his chivalry. Spencer was in all sense of the word perfect.

The smile fell off his face as he looked at his watch. "It's 10:41." He announced like it meant something. Realizing Y/n didn't understand, he explained. "You're no longer a member of the BAU."

"Oh."

It hit Y/n all at once. For 8 years, the BAU had been her life. She probably spent more time on cases than she did at home. The team is her family. And now she wasn't ever going back. No more cases, no more trips on the jet, no more bad police station coffee.

Spencer didn't know what to say. He felt like his life was drastically changing. There was no one he was as close to as Y/n.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you." He verbalized, clearing his throat before continuing. "I, uh, I'm n-not very good, with my feels, but I'm really going to miss you... and I know I don't know how much yet, but I'm anticipating it's going to hurt." He rambled aloud, trying to express the heartbreak he was feeling.

Y/n understood it exactly. "I'm sorry for going, Spence." She apologized.

Spencer shook his head. "Love, I get it. It's time."

Y/n was glad he understood, she didn't know what she'd do without him.

It was clear this was turning into somewhat of a trip down memory land. And Y/n was grateful for it. This was the way she wanted their last moments as colleagues to be like. The sun beating down on their skin, Rossi's house, alone.

Y/n made herself more comfortable when Spencer moved to rest against the edge of the couch, letting his legs extended. She put her head on his chest, curling up against his side as she thought of the memory.

Spencer had been missing for far too long. Taken by the believer's cult after he thought that experience was over.

Y/n was furious that both Garcia and Spencer had been taken, two of the purest people she knew. Kidnapped.

And the rest of the team were scrambling to figure out where they were. Spencer was just as confused, but he was smart. Still, Y/n was worried. She did her best to compartmentalize, again. Usually, it was something Spencer urged her against, but she absolutely had to find him.

Spencer hoped they would find him, it seemed like false hope when he was almost sacrificed. As soon as he was saved, he gave each team member a tight hug. Y/n, who he was closed to, got the longest. She didn't mind at all as he cried onto her shoulder, having kept his tough facade for so long.

"Hey, it's all okay now," Y/n assured him, absentmindedly running her hand through his curls as they lay together on the BAU jet couch. His head was resting on her stomach, long legs hanging off the edge. No one thought about teasing them, Spencer deserved comfort without bothering.

"I know." Spencer hummed quietly in reply. "Thank you."

When he was lost, she was there.

Neither of them knew what else to say as they sat there, trying to get as close as possible to each other. Y/n never knew she could miss someone who was right in front of her. His warm body was right against hers, bringing her back to the moment.

The cold metal end of a gun being forced against her temple was jarring. Y/n never knew how terrifying it was to be a human shield. In her two years at the BAU, she'd had unsubs point guns at her, but she knew the bullet would travel right into her vest, and she wouldn't die.

At that moment, her life wasn't in her control. At any point, the unsub could shoot her, one finger on the trigger, and she'd never take another other breath.

Her brain was thinking everything over. The film of her entire life playing in her head. Every little insignificant moment seemed important. She thought about everything from getting coffee in the morning to playing outside as a child.

She hoped her family knew she loved them. She hoped people wouldn't grieve her death for too long.

She wondered what the world would look like without her.

Then she looked to Spencer. His own gun trained on the man wanting to shoot his best friend. The worst thing was, they both knew he'd do it. If the narcissistic young woman killer thought killing her was the only way to get out of the stand-off, he would.

Y/n took a deep breath in, giving Spencer a light smile. Although she was terrified, Y/n was pleading with him. All she wanted was for him to tell everyone she loved them.

Spencer lightly shook his head as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

Somehow, Morgan managed to get him. Once he was in handcuffs, Y/n could finally breathe.

Spencer put his gun away, running over to her to wrap her in a hug. Y/n fell right into his arms, sobbing as he held her.

"Hey, you're okay, love," Spencer reassured, running his hands up and down her back.

Y/n nodded into his shoulder after a while, pulling back. "I'm sorry. It's silly that I'm crying anyway." She tried to laugh.

Spencer shook his head. "Not at all." He assured her, having been able to see the complete panic in her eyes.

When she was scared, he was there.

Spencer and Y/n were both in tears at that point. Y/n wasn't sure how to leave it all, and Spencer didn't know how he'd do it without her.

Y/n saw it happen, along with the rest of the team. She didn't have the front row seat Spencer had to witness his girlfriend's death, but she saw it.

Spencer was definitely in love. She'd seen the look of adoration on his face when he read her favorite books. In the time he spent getting to know Maeve, she'd never seen him happier.

All until her blood was puddled on the warehouse floor. Y/n couldn't help but let out a sob at Spencer's misery. For all the people in the world, he didn't deserve that.

After that, Spencer wasn't okay, understandably. Y/n tried to reach out, but she understood that he needed time. Still, she wished he would let someone in.

Every time she went to his apartment, he turned her away.

She definitely didn't expect to see him on a case so soon. Hotch had to send him to the hotel to make sure he got some sleep.

Y/n tapped on his door lightly. She hadn't had the chance to talk to him alone during the day while they worked the case.

Spencer opened the door without a word, moving back to let her in.

Awkwardly, she sat on the bed. She'd been in his hotel rooms, for years but she'd never seen him so heartbroken.

"How are you?" Y/n quietly asked.

Spencer sighed, letting his curls fall onto his forehead. Everything in his brain had changed. He never thought he'd end up in love or married. But as soon as he got to know Maeve, he realized it was something he could have. Something that was so quickly taken away from him.

Once he started, Spencer couldn't stop sobbing. Tears coming down his cheeks as his body shook.

Y/n quickly stood up, walking over and pulling him into her chest, holding him as tight as she could in the hope it would comfort him. They stood together for a long time, Y/n holding Spencer while he sobbed, thinking back to the past with Maeve and the future he wished he could have had.

When he was turning her away, she was there.

"I can't stand the thought that I might not know you," Spencer spoke softly.

Y/n looked up at his tearful eyes, which matched hers. "You won't, Spencer."

He just let out a loud sigh, holding her closer. "I'm just worried that one day you'll be a stranger, and I'll see something that reminds me of you, and it'll hit me that I don't know you." He revealed his deepest fear. So much reminded him of Y/n. Cinnamon rolls, knit jumpers, love poetry.

"Spence, I'm always going to be here," Y/n assured him. "Up here." She tapped his forehead, indicating his brain. "In here, hopefully." She smiled a little, placing a hand on his heart. "And right here." She wriggled her body to demonstrate her point.

Spencer smiled at her, finally feeling like it might be okay. It wasn't like he had a choice, and he understood why she had to go.

Still, Y/n continued, runnings her fingers through his hair to comfort him. Plus, she'd always like those curls. "I'm going to be at every one of Rossi's parties and clean up with you the next day. I'm going to be there for your FBI awards and teaching awards. I'm going to be there when things don't go right as well." She assured him.

"Y/n?" Spencer asked, drawing her eyes to his. "I love you." He wanted to say it rather than squeezing it.

She nodded at him. "I love you."

Spencer wasn't sure how to say what he needed to say. His heart rate was racing, and the sun felt a little too hot on his skin. "Seeing as you're technically not my colleague anymore..." He started her full attention on him. "Can I, uh, take you out on a date?" He quickly asked. Y/n hadn't heard his voice so high-pitched since they were much younger.

She'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it before. They were so close that the line between friendship and relationship tended to blur.

"Yes, Spencer, please," Y/n begged.

Spencer could finally breathe again, filling his lungs with air. "Good, because I do want you at all of those events, but I'd like you at them as my girlfriend." He mumbled, running a hand through her hair.

"I'm always going to be there, Spencer Reid."

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[strawberryspence]

our love lasts so long

Fluff | Spencer Reid x FEM! Reader

Summary: Pretending to not be in love with your best friend is the hardest thing you had to do in your life. So when life gives you a chance to play pretend couple, you take it. (Heavily inspired by Taylor Swift’s seven.)

Word Count: 4,7k.

Warnings: okay woah there’s a lot to unpack here, lots of self-doubt, pining, alcohol consumption (by reader and other), Alzheimer’s, mentions of food, mentions of getting pregnant, kids, badly translated french, kinda non-canon complaint but like also canon compliant, fake dating, childhood best friends to lovers, a lot of fluff but there is a good amount of angst too.

Writer’s Note: Hello! This fic is written for Rosie’s writing challenge ( @samuel-de-champagne-problems )! When I saw her post saying she wanted TS inspired fics I just knew I needed to make this one for our love of seven. There are a lot of easter eggs in here and basically I went crazy. This is better if you have seven is playing in the background as you read it. To Rosie, I honestly knew how I wanted it to end before I even started and I am hoping you will still love it. Congratulations on the milestone and you deserve everything lovely in this world. I love you! <333

Gif is mine. <3

“JJ and Will are finally getting married.” You gasp, as the chopsticks you were holding drops from your grasp, “Really!? Did she finally say yes!?”

“Apparently, a bomb threat would do it.” Spencer answers, as he chews his egg roll, “Well… are you okay?” You watch as he shrugs.

You can still remember the letter you received after Spencer joined the BAU. The letter is still in the box underneath your bed where all his letters are kept. Spencer writes numerous paragraphs about how he asked the young, kind, beautiful, communications liaison named Jennifer Jareau on a date. How Gideon advised him to go out with her and he was proud that he did. The letter is still stained with your tears as you read it twice, thrice, until you forget how many times you’ve read it.

“I am okay. I am Henry’s godfather, I like Will. He’s family.” Spencer shrugs again, as he takes another bite out of his food before laughing, “Derek made this bet with me though. He says he’s going to do all my paper work for 2 months if I come with a date.”

He looks up from the TV and looks at you, a smile in his face, “Guess I am doing his paper work for 2 months.”

“I can come with you.” Spencer chokes on his roll, before coughing up and gulping down a glass of sweet tea like the idea of dating me repulsed him, “Like my date?”

“Sure. I can pretend we finally got together. That’ll probably get Penelope off my back.” Spencer’s eyes widen, making his eye twitch, “Penelope thinks we should get together?”

“Yeah. She thinks its the perfect childhood best friends love story. You know her, she watches too much tv dramas.” You roll your eyes, looking down at your plate as you play with the rice, not having enough strength to look him in the eye.

“I can’t impose on you like that.” Spencer insists, the uncertainty still obvious in his voice making you pause. Did you want walk down this path? Can you really do one night of fake dating and go back to best friends the next day like nothing has happened? The silence was deafening as you have an inner monologue against yourself.

You look at Spencer as he looks at you, his eyes watching your face to detect any emotion. You’ve been best friends with him for so long, you can now control which ones you want to show him. Spencer stares at you intently, with those bright, brown eyes and sometimes if you look at them long enough you can see the seven year old Spencer. The thought of it makes you smile.

“Oh, its nothing. You’ll just owe me one. Maybe a steak dinner or that green converse I wanted.” You force yourself to break eye contact as Spencer chuckles at your answer, “Sure, maybe we can get matching shoes. Remember that sweater your Mom knitted for us when we were nine?”

You laugh, remembering two nine year olds fuss over the itchy Christmas sweater, “Oh, I remember. That was a good Christmas.” He nods, with a soft smile illuminating his face with nostalgia.

“No, really, it’s okay with me. JJ will probably invite me too, so we’re killing two birds with one stone, I guess.” You managed to choke it out. You can’t believe how lame you were acting over a fake dating act.

“Okay, okay, if you say so. You should know though, we would really have to get in the act. Derek is very serious about bets.” Spencer raises his eyebrows at you. You nod, at him as he returns his focus to the show.

Spencer still has the same features he had when he was thirteen , the same age you realized you were in love with your best friend since you were seven. The next week, Spencer leaves for college, leaving you with a broken heart and a promise that he will write. Spencer did take the letters seriously. He wrote about everything that has happened in his life and you wrote him back in letters, with pieces of your heart wedge between the letters.

When you graduated college, fate brings you all around the country before setting you down at Washington for an English teaching job. It must’ve been almost fifteen years since you saw each other last and you thought all the gross, first love feelings you felt for your best friend was gone. But there it was the feelings you thought was long gone.

You turn your head to the side table, Spencer doesn’t have much decorations aside for one framed picture of the two of you when you were both seven, smiling side by side, on the treehouse your father built for you. Spencer had the same smile and you wear your hair in a braid. You were his best friend and if that was all you can ever be, it was good enough for you.

-

I am coming up. The text reads from Spencer. You take one last glimpse of yourself on the mirror, your hair is in a neat braid, you straightened the dress you were wearing and the heels on your feet giving you an additional height.

“Wear blue. It brings out your eyes.” You chew on your lip as you remember what Spencer wrote to you when you said you were going to prom with Carl Jones. You have worn blue every chance you got since then, even when you thought your feelings were gone for him.

You hear keys jingling before your front door opens, “I am here! Are you ready to go?” You reach for your clutch and wedding gift before looking at the mirror once more, “You look good. You can do this.” You whisper before taking a deep breath.

“Yes! I am ready!” You stand up straight before coming out of you room, “Let’s go!” You stop on tracks when you see him. He was wearing a suit, his tie in a shade of blue you were too familiar with. Right here, right now, your heart skipped a beat.

You snap out of it when a soft smile spreads on his face, “I would say you looked good right now, but you’ve always been beautiful.” Your teeth digs deeper on your lips before trying to collect the composure you have left, “You don’t look too bad yourself, Doctor Reid.” He smiles before taking your hands to his.

The car ride to Rossi’s was fast and before you knew it you were walking towards his mansion. You’ve been here a few times now and you will never get used at how big it is.

“We really have to sell this. If you’re ever uncomfortable, you tell me.” You nod with raised eyebrows, “As long as you buy me what I want, I am good.” He chuckles before you feel his arms twisting around your waist.

“Let’s do this, nugget.” You giggle as he uses the nickname your mom calls you, before smiling up at him, “You better be a good actor, crash.” A smile decorates his face as he hears the nickname Diana used to call him.

“Of course, I am.” He gives your temple a gentle kiss, before ringing the doorbell and all you can do is force smile as your heart beat so loud from the kiss it makes you wonder if he can hear it.

The door opens revealing Penelope. “Well, hello you two,” Penelope pauses, her head tilting, “WAIT! Why is his arm on your waist!? And why are you this close!?” Before you can say a word Penelope gasps before pulling you in, bringing Spencer in with you.

“Are you guys finally together!?” She squeals as she claps her hands making you smile at how happy she looks, “Yes. We went on one date. So calm down, Pen.” She clasps her hand over her mouth to surpass a squeal.

When you first came to the city, Spencer immediately introduced you the BAU team and not surprisingly, you found yourself growing close to one energetic, cheerful Penelope Garcia.

“Wait until Derek hears this!” Before you can stop her, Penelope was gone.

“We should take a seat, the wedding should be starting in a few minutes.” Spencer says, interlacing your hands within his. You’ve always wonder why it has felt so right to hold his hands. You were used to this, holding his hand, you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve held hands through your life.

Tonight was different, maybe its because for the first time in your life you weren’t pretending like you weren’t in love with him since you were seven. Spencer’s hand wrapped tightly in yours, his thumb rubbing circles on the top of your hand as if he’s done it a thousand times before.

“Hey kids,” Rossi sits next to you, scotch in hand. You don’t miss the glance he drops on your interlocked hands and you certainly don’t miss the way it makes him smile wide.

“Hey Rossi. This is a great party.” You gesture to the beautifully decorated wedding. He shrugs, “If I wasn’t in the FBI, I would have been a party planner.” He winks.

“Hey, do you want a drink?” Spencer asks, standing up from his sit but never letting go of your hand, “Yes. Uh.. champagne is okay.”

Spencer smiles before giving the crown of your head a kiss, “I’ll be right back, nug.” You watch him go before turning back to Rossi.

“You kids finally got together, huh?” Rossi smiles as he drinks his drink. You smile and nod, “Yeah. Finally.”

“It was bound to happen, Y/N.” You sigh as you watch the fairy lights blink slowly, “I guess it was.”

Spencer comes back shortly with your drink and the wedding starts a few minutes later. JJ walks down the aisle with a beautiful white dress making her look like a real life angel and its hard to think that you once cried over her and Spencer. This time you reach for Spencer’s hands, taking his hands into yours like it was meant to be that way.

-

“Spencer, is my make up okay? I think I cried too much.” Spencer squints as he looks at your face and suddenly you wished you never asked the question because he’s staring at you too intensely.

“It’s okay. Just a smidge of mascara.” Spencer takes you by surprise when he cups your face using his thumb to remove the smudge. He removes his hands as he gives you, a toothy smile, “All gone.”

“I guess, I lost the bet.” You turn around with Derek looming over you with a huge smile on his face. You squeal before giving him a hug, “If it would have meant you two finally getting together, I could’ve done it sooner.”

“I haven’t seen you for so long!” You exclaim, you haven’t seen any of the members for a long time, aside from Penelope. They’re always busy with cases and you were always busy in teaching.

“I hope I get the same treatment.” Another voice comes and Emily comes from behind him, “Em!” You give her a hug before letting her go, “How are you!?” She asks, excited to catch up with you.

“Wow, its like I don’t exist.” Spencer rolls his eyes, “Shut up. We see each other everyday.” Emily sticks her tongue out making Derek and Spencer laugh.

“I am so happy, you guys are finally got together!” Emily exclaims and Derek nods in agreement, “Two decades too late! I can still remember young Doctor Reid writing letters everywhere we go, wether on the plane, the office or in hotel rooms. He was always writing to you and if he’s not he’s just reading those letters you wrote him.”

You gape before looking up at Spencer with a bright smile, his hands wrapped on your waist, “You did?” He laughs, “Of course, I didn’t want you to wait for too long.” There was a spark in his eyes and if it wasn’t all pretend you would’ve believed he was truly in love with you.

“I am guessing Y/N is the only one that can be able to convince Reid to dance.” Emily teases, before pulling Derek into the dance floor to slow dance.

You look back at him with raised eyebrows and he sighs, “Okay fine. But I am sorry if I step on your toes.” You laugh before pulling him on the dance floor placed in the middle of the garden, “Just follow my lead.” You guide his hand placing it on your waist, your arms snaking around his neck. The song playing is soft and perfect for a slow dance, the lights around the dance floor giving Spencer’s face a majestic glow.

“Blue always looks good on you.” Spencer smiles, his hands tightening around you as you both sway to the music. You feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. “Well, thank you. Diana always said that too.”

“Mom always said that. Even on her bad days, she always said, “Where’s Y/N? Tell her blue looks good on her.” She always loved you.” He smiles, tucking a piece of loose hair behind your ear.

You watch over his shoulder as Penelope waves at you, her eyes gleaming with happiness and gives you a thumbs up. Like she genuinely believed that you and Spencer were finally together.

Suddenly, you felt suffocated in the open air. The act of pretending suddenly choking you. You pull yourself off Spencer, “I need to get a drink.” Before he can say anything, you turn and run towards the house. You drink a glass of water from the bar, drinking it in one swift motion, not stopping until its all gone.

One glass wasn’t enough as you reach for another one. Everyones opinion was swimming in your head, everyone thinking you and Spencer was always been bound to happen, Penelope’s proud smile as you and Spencer finally get together. How is this not killing Spencer? How is he okay with all of these? Why did everyone expect that the two of you will somehow get together someday?

“You okay?” Spencer’s voice comes out from nowhere making you choke in the water you’re drinking, “Oh, no. Did I scare you? I am so sorry.” Spencer’s hand finds your back, running it up and down your back as you cough.

Your words spill out like a cough you were holding on, like a cough you were holding on for almost twenty years, “How is this okay with you? How are you okay with pretending that we’re in love with each other?”

Spencer blinks at you, surprised of your outburst. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out of it. You take it as your cue to say more, “You’re holding me like you want to. Like… like you actually love me?” You can hear your heart drumming against your chest and you were sure Spencer can hear it too. You watch as Spencer sighs, you close your eyes, hands tightening against the cold counter.

Decades of friendship just ruined because you can’t pretend anymore. You can’t pretend that you didn’t want hand holding, kisses on the cheeks or temples, the heat of his hand on your back, or to have him in your life as someone more than just a best friend. Was this better than being just a best friend? Was this worth it?

“Y/N, Remember that phase I had when I was younger where I made origamis?” You open your eyes, squinting at him, “How is that related to this?” He raises his hands, stopping you and shakes his head.

“Listen, remember when I left for college, I left you with that star origami and I told you to always have it with you because that was me protecting you.” You nod. You remember it like it was yesterday. Thirteen year old you were sobbing when Spencer gives you a small piece of star.

“Do you have it?” Your forehead creases in confusion. Spencer smiles, “Do you have it, Y/N?”

You sigh in defeat, opening you purse and fishing you car keys. You open the small keychain purse you’ve specifically got for the purpose of keeping the small star safe. You open it and take the small blue star, it was faded now with a few creases due to age, but it was the same star that Spencer gave you when he left.

Spencer takes it in his hands, slowly unrolling the piece of paper, “Wait! Don’t do that! I kept that safe for almost two decades and you’re going to unroll it!?” He chuckles, “I’ll make you a new one, I’ll make you a hundred more if you want it.”

His answer shuts you up, taken back at what he said and overwhelmed to what it could’ve meant. You watch as he unrolls the small star before giving it to you, “Read it.”

You’ve had this star for years, never knowing that something was written in it. Spencer’s chicken like handwriting proves that he did write this when he was thirteen.

“Mon cœur est à toi.” You try to read out, before looking up at him with creased forehead, “I don’t know french, Spence.” Spencer laughs, his eyes full of endearment as he looks at you.

“My heart is yours.” You blink at him, “What?”

“It means, My heart is yours. It has been yours since I was 13, even before I knew what love really is.” You open your mouth to speak but you can’t find a voice to say anything. Spencer takes your hand, “Remember that one time my Dad was so mad, and I came running to your house crying?” You nod, the picture of young Spencer crying because his Dad was mad comes rushing to you.

“You started crying with me and insisting that my house is haunted. You said that was the reason why my Dad was always mad. I stopped crying when you said that because I started telling you that wasn’t scientifically possible.” Spencer chuckles, taking a deep breath before continuing, “You stopped crying because you started dressing up as a pirate and you started asking Mrs. Y/L/N if I can live with you guys instead.”

“I’ve loved you since then. Y/N, you are the innocence in my life. The one thing pure in my life that made me believe that there is good in this world and even if its hard, its worth saving one fight at a time. I never said anything because I was your best friend. I was hoping that one day, you’d just open up the star and see it.”

“It was easy to pretend, because for years I’ve wanted to have you in my arms and tell everybody that I love you,” Spencer smiles before teasing you, “Since before you got braces.” This makes you laugh.

You inch closer to him, his brown eyes staring at you, the love finally evident in it like he pulled a mask off, you pull him down with his tie. Your lips meets his for the first time and it feels like coming home. You’ve wanted this for years, you’ve thought of it many times, and somehow nothing comes close to the real thing. Your hands tangle up in his hair, as his arms brings you closer to his chest. Spencer’s kiss was just like him, soft and rough in the edges, but it was him.

Spencer pulls you back to reality as he pulls back from the kiss.

“I love you, Nugget.” Spencer whispers as he puts his forehead against yours.

“I love you, too, Crash, to the moon and to Saturn.”

-

The bright lights from the glaring sun seeps through the large windows of your living room. The loud noise the vacuum emits is the only thing that can be heard all throughout the house. The whole house is decked in thanksgiving decorations, turkey drawings from various children hanging from the fire place.

Turning off the vacuum, you can hear the oven timer ticking. The second turkey was almost done. It was the last thing you had to prepare, all the sides and fixings are ready to be served. In the distance, you can hear the vinyl player you bought for Spencer’s forty-fifth birthday playing some classic songs. You grab your duster and start dusting the frames displayed on the top of the fire place. A jar full of origamis stars that Spencer gave you for you first anniversary sits on the end of the mantle. Pictures varying from JJ’s wedding to Spencer and yours wedding to the first ever picture you took together.

The picture is yellowish on the sides with cracks on the ends, showing its true age. Spencer was smiling from the treehouse your father built for your seventh birthday and you were on the swing, the picture capturing the giggle bubbling out of you as your braided hair swings with you. The trees in the background are bright green with the sign of summer growing all around the vicinity.

Right beside the childhood picture was the picture from after you first kissed in JJ’s wedding. A soft smile dances over your face, as your fingers run across the picture. You both looked so young and the lights of JJ’s wedding gleaming in the background. You can remember Derek being drunk and Penelope giggling as she takes the picture.

The doorbell snaps you out of the trance. You quickly put away the cleaning items before opening the door.

“Meemaw!” Two small children lunges over you, “Oh my babies! Did you guys miss me?” Agnes nods as she holds up a picture of a turkey.

“Happy Thinksgiving, Meemaw!” You laugh as you accept the drawing kissing her in the cheek before she goes running in the house. You look at Agatha who has a thanksgiving card in her hand, “For Peepaw.” She says shyly.

“Peepaw is still in his study. Later you can give it to him.” She nods before quietly entering the house.

“Hi, Ma.” Diana comes in with her husband, Nathan. She gives you a hug and a kiss in the cheek before coming in, Nathan does the same thing, “We bought pie, Ma.”

“You know where to put it.” You wink as you watch another car drive in the drive away.

Three more cars later, the house was full with children. Diana is your eldest daughter, you had her right after you got married to Spencer. She’s married to Nathan with two children, Agnes and Agatha. Morgan is your second daughter, you had her three years later. She’s single but has a wonderful teenager named Tony. Penny is your third daughter, she’s married to her wonderful wife, Trina. They’ve adopted four siblings, Anna, Pauline, Phil, and Andrew. Jason is your youngest, Spencer wanted to try for a boy one more time and Jason was your little blessing. Jason lives happily with his girlfriend, Leslie and their child named Steve.

“Ma, we’re going to get the table ready. Should you get Pa? or should one of us do it?” Morgan asks as she hands out spoon and fork combos, you shake your head, “I should get him. I don’t want him to get overwhelmed.” The kids nods their heads in understanding.

You sweep you braided hair to the back before wiping your hands and removing the apron you’ve been wearing the whole day. Underneath is a blue sweater Spencer knitted for you for your fiftieth birthday. You stop in front of his study before knocking softly, “Spence, love, are you decent?” You can hear him hum softly, signalling that you can open the door.

The door reveals him, reading a book in his table, he looks up at you tilting his head in confusion, “Who are you?” You smile patiently, “Spencer, its me, Y/N. Your wife. The kids are outside, they brought the grandchildren with them.” You point to the wedding picture hanged in his office as you walk slowly towards him.

Spencer nods his head as he looks at the picture, before looking back at you, “What kids?” You smile brushing through his hair, “Our kids, Crash. Diana, Morgan, Penny and Jason.” His forehead creases in confusion.

“It’s okay, if you can’t remember them. The kids still want to see you, so is it okay if we go out?” Spencer stares at you for a bit, debating if he should go out. He nods, slowly, making you smile.

“Attaboy.” You help him stand up, looping your arm through his. He smiles softly at you, “The blue sweater brings out your eyes.” You nod before giving his cheeks a kiss. You both walk out of the room.

All the kids quietly watch as you help Spencer sit on the couch and taking a sit next to him, “Peepaw isn’t feeling well. But you can still talk to him, just softly and please introduce yourselves.” The children nods before lining up to give him their thanksgiving cards.

Alzheimer’s. You can still remember the day you both went to the doctor, Spencer was starting to forget about things and it was his worst fear bought to life. It’s been five years since then. He’s stayed with you at home, he usually knows who you are most times. Bad days are the days were he doesn’t know who you are, but at the end of the day, he still whispers an I love you to you even if he doesn’t recall who you are. There are moments in the morning where his eyes are just glossed over with uncertainty and he doesn’t know who you are.

The kids have all offered to take him in a home but you insisted he stayed with you. This was the man you loved since you were seven, this was the man you vowed to love for the rest of your life and you will spend the rest of your life loving him even if there were days that he didn’t even know who you were.

“Meemaw! Can you tell the story of how you met Peepaw again?” You snap out of the trance, realizing that all the kids are looking at you. You turn to Spencer and he looks at you with child like anticipation.

“Okay, I will. But go ask your parents for some sweet tea first okay?” They all nod and rush to the kitchen.

You turn to Spencer, watching his face, “Are you okay?” He nods, a soft smile spreading on his face. Spencer looks exactly the same as when you were thirteen, the same face with a few more wrinkles, more freckles and his eyes showing wisdom beyond his age.

“Yes, I am okay.” He nods, quietly before looking around taking in the living room decorations, “The kids are going to come back soon. I am going to tell the story of how we met when were still children. Is that okay?”

“Yes, its okay.” He reaches for your hands, rubbing his thumb on your hand in circular motions. The gesture so familiar after all the years you’ve been together.

“I love you, Spence. To the moon and to Saturn.” You give his temple a kiss, relishing over the quietness before you hear the distant sound of the kids running back to the living room.

Spencer smiles, and for a moment you see his eyes spark with familiarity, “Mon cœur est à toi.” He brings your hand to his lips, giving it a gentle kiss.

Today was a good Spencer day, you’ll be grateful for that. Tomorrow is uncertain. It may be a bad day or a good day, but with Spencer it’s always a perfect life.

The kids come streaming back to the living room with cups of your sweet tea in their hands. The oldest of the grandchildren, Tony, gives you a glass before handing one to Spencer.

“Okay, are you all ready for the story?” The children answers in various way. You look at Spencer as he nods in anticipation, as if it was the first time he will ever hear this story.

“Well, I met your grandfather when I was seven…”

-

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[reidslibrarybook]

Fate Led Me To You (Time and Time Again)

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, sexual innuendos

Summary - The music from above him flooded his ears, prompting him to walk up to that apartment right above him. In his attempt at some kind of confrontation, he meets the one person he’s been infatuated with since they first moved in… you.

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.4k

A/N - CONGRATULATIONS @samuel-de-champagne-problems ON 1K, you’re long past it now but this was so fun to write and i’m so happy for you. i used little bits and pieces of taylor’s songs that are scattered throughout but the message of one in particular is the strongest here, adding in the songs at the end so you can try to guess lmao <3 also, thank you to syd for being my amazing writing buddy… love our random convos on our pomodoro breaks :)

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—————————————-

Hope was scarce in his mind despite how perpetually busy it was.

It was lost… he was lost.

Every single day he wondered where he’d be if there was someone he shared his glistening mornings with, someone he’d give his heart to. There was no magical compass that led him to his one, and eventually, his hope ran out as he was left wandering without having been left with any signs.

Spencer made his way home as he did everyday since he joined the BAU, turning his key and closing the door gently. He padded towards the couch, sighing after realizing that he had lost his favorite dark, muted teal cardigan.

Morgan had been teasing him hours before while he was on the jet ride back from Ohio, going on and on about how he should ‘find a little lovin’. It didn’t matter how many times Spencer explained that he was hopeless, Derek had something to clap back with to restore the little inkling of hope that remained inside him.

It was a pointless gesture as he returned to his old ways of self-deprecation and loathing like he always did.

He sucked in a deep breath, his temper rising as soon as the music from the floor above began playing again. It had been going on non-stop, his upstairs neighbor blaring what sounded like some overplayed pop song from above him.

Spencer didn’t mind the music, occasionally dancing around in his apartment as he listened from below, but he wasn’t in the mood to lip sync that night.

The rest of the night consisted of frustrated sighs, the loud music only adding fuel to the burning fire inside of him. He tried everything to block out the happiness that radiated from his ceiling: using his pillow to cover his ears, playing his own music in the little earbuds Penelope bought him, and stuffing in the earplugs he bought to block out Rossi’s obscene snoring.

Nothing could keep out the sound waves that refused to bounce around in any place but the somber walls of his home.

He wasn’t usually a confrontational person, but he wasn’t exactly feeling usual that particular night. Spencer walked out of his apartment, slightly stomping up the stairs and following the booming music to the apartment right above his.

His knuckles knocked on the wooden door angrily, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the culprit behind his restlessness. He looked towards the window at the end of the hall, trying to calm his boiling irritability from overflowing even though it was on the verge of spilling out of the pot.

Spencer heard the music stop, his heart beating quicker as he neared the beginning of the long reign of snaps that were about to come from the annoyed monster inside of him.

The locks on the door clicked as it creaked open. “Oh, hi,” an excruciatingly cheerful voice echoed.

He laughed humorlessly, shaking his head slightly. “I came here to…” his words trailed off as soon as he looked towards the person standing in the door, “Oh h- hi, hey, h- hello.”

You smiled, leaning against the door frame with a friendly look on your face. His eyes widened after meeting yours, lost in the luster of the glimmer inside them.

His jaw dropped and his throat dried, completely and utterly enchanted by you after meeting you face-to-face for the first time since he saw you. It hadn’t been the first time he encountered you, passing you by in the stairwell and elevators numerous times before.

Spencer had told Derek about you when you first moved in, looking for some kind of encouragement that could help him work up the nerves to ask you out— though it never happened. Whenever he got within 10 feet of you, his whole body froze, losing control and full function of the muscles that had been attached to him since his birth. He decided to stay away from you altogether, eliminating the possibility of any embarrassing thing he might do in front of you.

It was like the blood had stopped circulating through the veins and arteries, your presence stilling the storm inside him. Maybe another reason why he stayed away was because he couldn’t face not having you. After Ethan’s abrupt departure, his heart was wrung dry of all the love that it could give— at least he thought it was. The prospect of finding someone new to love, as much as he wanted to, was terrifying. So when he noticed the way his body tensed the same way it had when his heart was stolen by another, a little switch in his brain flipped that told him to run. It was like a film he had seen before replaying in his mind, the ending of which he didn’t like.

His fear didn’t stop him from exploring as much as his brain told him not to. It was an urge that he just couldn’t ignore, an itch he couldn’t scratch; you were the cause of all his restless nights even if he was thousands of miles away from you.

Spencer would pass you by at the library and the coffee shop and at every other place he frequented while he was liberated from BAU cases. He’d freeze exactly the same way he did just then, awe-struck by the marvelous sight in front of him— your heavenly glow stopping every thought that probed his brain.

Derek had managed to pry some information out of him, the dam that guarded his heart broke as his emotions spilled out. He had gone on and on about how he’d watch you from afar, completely mesmerized.

He didn’t know what his intention was by telling Derek about his emotional connection to you. Maybe it was a subconscious cry for help, encouragement? It didn’t matter because he was attacked with ‘tips and tricks’ whether he wanted them or not.

He tried his best to implement them, slowly feeding the little spark inside him that had almost burned out with little wisps of hope that fostered a bravery in his chest. Spencer found out soon enough that the feeling was temporary, his valorant knight losing all the armor that protected him.

His confidence was nothing but an undulating line that was too stubborn to straighten out, fluctuating as feelings of want and adoration pursued.

Spencer resorted to leaving a book that he found you looking at in the library inside your mailbox, Jane Eyre. He thought it was fitting, new to the city and ready for new beginnings— something he admired.

He wasn’t there to see you pull it out and unwrap the clumsily taped wrapping paper he hastily added last minute. It wasn’t meant to bring the two of you together, all he wanted to do was make you happy. There was no way for him to know why you didn’t buy or borrow it at the bookstore but he could see a little spark in your eyes when you opened it.

He didn’t know if there was any significance behind it or if you were just interested in the summary placed on the back, but he didn’t need to know to make you happy.

You stood there in the doorway, waiting for him to fix his gaze on you and not your fluffy kitten slippers. Giggles came from your lips, “What can I help you with?”

Spencer looked back up at you suddenly, pushing up his glasses and fiddling with the hem of his star wars shirt. “O- oh, I just um, w- wanted to welcome you s- since you’re new here,” he lied, trying to save himself.

You nodded, pushing your hair behind your ears and stepping forward slightly. “I am…” you trailed off and grinned slightly after looking at the way he dressed, clad in his robe as pieces of his hair stuck out in every which way, “And since I’m new in town, how about showing me around tomorrow?”

He could feel the familiar, tell-tale heat that came along with his incessant blushing. “M- me?”

You poked your head out and looked around the hallway. “I don’t see anyone else I could be talking to,” you laughed.

He pressed his line into a thin line and smiled as he bobbed his head up and down. “W- when do you want to um, w- want me to show you around?”

“Around eight?”

“O- okay, mate… I- I mean eight, not mate,” he laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck as you giggled amusedly, “We’re not mating, we’re dating. Are we dating? See you at eight.”

He scurried away in the wrong direction and headed straight for the window, turning around as much as he wanted to jump right out and walking towards the stairs that led down to his floor. Spencer heard your little chuckles echo throughout the complex as he shut himself back into his apartment, resting against the door.

His eyes traveled back up to the ceiling, picturing you closing the door with your blinding smile prominent on your face.

Spencer couldn’t help but smile himself, closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly knowing that he finally— in some sense— did it. A chance, a shot at restoring his scarred heart.

He stood up, walking through his bedroom door and flopped onto the bed. The sound of the music began to ring through his room as it did every night before, crinkling his eyes and his nose as he stared up at the floor that you often danced on at night.

His mind whirled in a flurry, a floaty feeling infesting his chest and pulling him up towards you with an invisible string as he sang along to the words of the song that filled his ears…

‘You belong with me.’

—————————————-

Spencer walked into the bullpen, a shining grin on his face and hair slicked back in preparation for your date tonight. He wouldn’t be able to get off in time to get home and get ready before the clock struck eight so he decided to get ready early in the morning and spend the whole day at work in his slightly more formal outfit.

A wolf whistle came from behind him, looking back as his eyes met Derek walking in with Emily right beside him. “Pretty. Boy.”

“Hi, Derek,” Spencer muttered, preparing himself for the endless teasing that was impending upon him.

“What’s got you looking more ‘Spencer’ than usual?”

He looked up, furrowing his brows and pursing his lips slightly. “More ‘Spencer’?”

Derek nodded, setting his bag down on the desk diagonally across from him. “You know. More sweater vesty?”

Emily scoffed, “He wears sweater vests every day.”

“He does, but look at his face,” Derek motioned towards the genius slinking further into his chair.

Both of the agents around him leaned in slightly, observing the way his face flushed at the attention and turning away quickly to avoid them.

“He does look extra… shiny today,” Emily conceded, “What’s going on with you?”

“N- nothing,” Spencer stuttered. He looked away, hoping that ignoring them would signal to them that he doesn’t want anything to do with their nosiness.

He felt a finger prod his cheek, his eyes following the contact all the way to Emily. “You’re going on a date aren’t you?”

His eyes widened, shaking his head while he continued trying to brush them both off.

“Wait, kid,” Derek sat on his desk and closed the file on his desk, “Is this date with that pretty girl you’ve been stalking?”

“I- I haven’t been stalking her,” he mumbled, “I just, I just get nervous so I watch her without her noticing.”

Emily laughed, “I’m pretty sure ‘watching her without her noticing’ constitutes stalking.”

“And he didn’t deny it either,” Derek added, laughing.

“Fine! Yes, I'm going out on a date with her. She’s um, she’s new here so she asked if I could show her around the city.”

“What are you gonna show her? The library?” He teased as Emily whacked him on the head.

“You’re one to talk, Derek. We all know the only thing you show girls is your bed and your di-”

Spencer stood up, cutting Emily off and pulling some folders out of his bag. “O- okay, I think that’s enough. I- I’m going to hand Hotch these files.”

Emily stopped him before he could scamper off too far. “Spencer, just be yourself. If you think she’d like to go to the library then take her to one, don’t let Derek scare you off okay? She wanted you to show her around, not some playboy.”

He smiled, nodding and walking away from Emily who began to scold Derek’s off putting teasing. A pleasant tingle spread through his chest as his heart began to glow.

“Hotch?” He asked after he knocked on his boss’ door.

“Reid, come in.”

Spencer entered, closing the door and handing his files to Hotch who was already standing— pulling something out from under his desk.

“Is something going on, Sir?”

Hotch looked up, go-bag in hand. “We have a case.”

“O- oh,” he whispered, his heart dropping, “I um, I was actually going to ask if I could leave a little early today. I-”

“Is it important, Reid? If not, then I need you to come on the case with us. We need you,” Hotch voiced with a stoic face.

Of course you were important but how did he know that it was going to work out with you. The only stable thing in his life was his job, and even that was a reach. Had he been unbroken, had he believed the hope that was draining out of him, he would’ve said refused to go on the case.

But he wasn’t unbroken and he didn’t believe in his plummeting hope.

“N- no, it’s not. I’ll just grab my bag.”

“Grab Prentiss and Morgan along with you.”

Spencer nodded, stepping out of the room and walking wordlessly back to his desk. He could feel his heartbeat slowing, the color draining out of his cheeks, and the life inside him waning. “Reid?” Derek asked after observing the sudden shift in his behavior.

He looked up, numb. “We have a case um, Hotch needs us in the jet right now.”

Emily stood up trying to stop him from running away. “Spencer, wait. Let’s talk about-”

“We really need to go, it’s important,” he shook off her hand and continued walking, ignoring the little voice in his head telling him to run back to you.

Spencer felt cold, emotionless, disappointed.

It was foolish for him to be so attached to you after having spoken to you only once, but his limerence was festering inside him. He considered driving back quickly but the thought of it caused a bubbling fire of anxiety to rumble inside him.

He had always been the loner, the nerd, or the one person in the room who was just socially inept. After a while working at the BAU, he learned that no one liked his long tangents or silly little facts about how your nostrils only work one at a time, so he kept quiet. He never intentionally spoke out of turn and, god forbid, started a conversation. It just wasn’t his thing.

How could he face you knowing that he was the one backing out of your date. The doubt began to amplify his feelings of melancholy.

He tried his hand at playing love’s ruthless game once again, his attempt leading him out the side door to save his shriveling heart.

—————————————-

Spencer dropped off his bags at his apartment, rushing out to avoid you if you were even there. He missed you… he missed what could’ve been if he had prioritized you instead of catching some serial killer in LA.

He felt all alone, more alone than he had felt before having met you— trying to erase you from his memory was harder than anything he had tried to do before. It was like attempting to remember someone you haven’t even met, all gray with no light shining from the heavens above… hope gone.

The cracks in his heart, caused by his chimeric convictions that deserted him, formed an artful mosaic that could replace the ones adorning the cathedrals in France. He had so many chances to get you in the beginning, but he had screwed up so badly that there were no more chances to cash in.

He pulled at the red scarf around his neck, trying to keep out the nippy winds of Virginia as he walked towards the park he frequented. It was calming, the autumnal trees swaying to form a symphonic harmony that mimicked the songs he’d hear above him every night he was home.

His mind wandered off to what you could have been, thinking about the way you would feel in his arms as he read to you— fantasizing about the loving smile he would be receiving for the first time in forever. Spencer’s love would’ve been fun if everything had worked out, if he was your one.

If one thing was different, if he had been with you that day, would everything be different?

Spencer could see his breath in front of him, looking up at the purple-pink sky and taking in its magnificence. Sure, he didn’t have you like he would have wanted but he hoped that he could smooth it over at the very least— build a bridge towards a friendship that could very well satisfy his heart that was adamant on keeping you close to him.

Time passed as he walked around the park, the light of the sunset reflecting off the long pond and shining into his eyes. He sucked in a breath, the sound of the ducks and little birds playing with kids surrounded him.

He was just about to leave when he spotted a familiar color a good distance away from him. Spencer walked towards the bench, finding his muted teal cardigan— with the little hole on the sleeve patched with a piece of his old Levi’s— on someone.

He was just about to tap on their shoulder when they turned around… it was you again.

“Spencer,” you smiled, no look of aggravation on your face.

“H- hi,” he walked over to you and sat down when you moved your stuff from the other side of the park bench, “I- I’m so so sorry.”

You shook your head, waving your hands to emphasize your motion. “Don’t worry about it. I went to knock on your door at eight but no one answered so I figured you weren’t home. I didn’t give you my name or number so there was no way you could contact me,” you reassured, “And you must be a busy man, you being an FBI agent and all.”

“How did you kn- know?”

“I saw you and your badge at the coffee shop,” you stopped, biting your bottom lip, “Oh, and the library and the little flower shop on Main.”

He blushed, looking away from you slightly. “Y- you saw me?”

“I did, I don’t think I could miss you even if I tried.”

Spencer looked down at the book in your hands, Jane Eyre, the one he gave to you. He smiled, looking up to you as you gave him a knowing look.

“W- well, now that we’re both here, would you w- want me to show you around?”

You shook your head, startling him before you put your hand on his. “Let’s just stay here for now, you can do that another day,” you whispered.

Your touch sent electrical currents up to his heart, energy surging through his whole body. He closed his eyes as you leaned into his face, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek that ignited all the sparks in his body.

You pulled away, leaving a tingling feeling on his cheek in your wake. The journey through the fiery depths of hell paled in comparison to the heavenly glow cast upon you by the golden leaves around you. He could feel his heart swell with an overwhelming joy that he had been deprived off for so long.

You laid your head against his shoulder as he reciprocated the action, the two of you staring off into the distance.

The aureate light seeping through the incandescent clouds illuminated the single thread of gold, tying him to you.

—————————————-

song inspired by: invisible string (mainly this one), red, exile, cardigan, you belong with me, state of grace, all too well, the 1, enchanted

most of these are kinda a reach, there's little bits of each song (except for invisible string obv) represented in parts of the fic whether it be through some kinda object/symbol, the actual title, or some lines from the lyrics.

idk if you caught this but i also mentioned taylor's long pond session/recordings because gaw damn those are so good :)

—————————————-

taglist:

@69ieatchildren69 @lil-stark @gublur @mrsobrien888 @nightlockcornucopia @drayshadow @spencerrrrrrreidsbae @luvhoneyt @samuel-de-champagne-problems @lowensashleigh @reidsbookclub @acoolnight @whytf2457 @zoeygraygubler @lonewolf471 @bakugouswh0r3 @mess-in-side @draw-back-your-bow @ssa-uglywhore27 @averyhotchner @strugglingtodoshit @spookydrreid @nomajdetective @exhaleli @ssahotchslover @bohemianrhapsody86 @citylights31 @the-winchesters-and-weasleys @eurydice-but-gay @reidselle @baubaes @pastelbabygirl19 @lorefulll @happymangospot @alexxavicry @malboroniightz @sunset-styles @reidsplaytoy @i-wanna-be-conan-obrien @captainhotchner @raybutcool @lhhluvr @vxnuette @reidsmilf @reidsacademia @spencerreidat3am

join my taglist here!

#SDCP1000 #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid hurt/comfort #spencer x reader #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencerreid #criminal minds oneshot #spencer reid fluff #drspencerreid #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid one shots #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #doctor spencer reid #spencer reid reader insert #spencer x y/n #criminal minds fluff #dr reid imagine #dr reid oneshot #dr reid x reader

[reidsbookclub]

Stumbling Home Alone

Summary: Reader cannot seem to understand why Spencer hates her so much. Spencer cannot forget about that time reader made fun of the way he talked…. Or so he thought.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU! Reader | she/her pronouns |

Content warning: drinking, curse words (sh*t, f*cking), let me know if I missed something

Word count: 2620

inspired by: hints Gorgeous with hints Never Grow Up at the end

italicized are thoughts

It's the first fic / one shot I ever write so please bare with me while I grow as a writer.

this post is meant for @samuel-de-champagne-problems SDCP1000 celebration.

Out of all the doubts and “what-ifs” that plagued my mind in the deep hours of the night, I knew 3 things to be true:

I am in love with one Dr. Spencer Reid

Spencer Reid hates the mere thought of me

Spencer Reid has ruined my life by not being mine

I step into the elevator ready for my first day at the BAU. I have worked tirelessly to finally get to where I am. Everyone has spoken highly and respectfully about the team I am set to join today, reputation preceding all of them, I just hope that they are all as nice and accepting as people have told me they are.

“Can I help you, Miss?”

“Yes, I am looking for Agent Hotchner’s office”  I shyly state to the tall, brown-eyed agent in front of me.

“Ah yes, you must be the new profiler. I’m Anderson” the brown-eyed agent mentions “I mostly do paperwork and other tasks while the team is off on cases. Agent Hotchner’s office is up the ramp, second door”

“Thak you Agent Anderson”

“Please, just Anderson - or Grant”

Anderson seems nice and shy he mentions he has paperwork to go through but he leaves with the promise that I can count on him for anything and that I should consider him my first friend here.  Which leads to me giggling before saying my goodbye.

I walk up to Agent Hotchener’s and that’s when the nerves started getting the best of me, I knock on his door, hands shaking and starting to get sweaty. “Come in,” says a stern voice from the inside of the office. “Agent Hotchner, my name is-” I start talking when he looks up and meets my eyes “Agent Y/L/N, yes I’ve been expecting you. Sorry to interrupt but please sit down we need to get through this before we debrief your first case”

“First, I would like to mention that this job is very time-consuming. You need to be prepared to leave at any time of the day-”

“Sorry to interrupt sir but Dallas PD called, they found a fourth body, we need to get started,” says the most colorful woman that I have ever seen. She seems friendly and I cannot wait to make her my acquaintance.

“Looks like your first case is starting earlier than expected Agent Y/L/N, please follow me to meet the rest of the team and debrief the case.”

“Of course Agent Hotchner.” As I was about to introduce myself to the bright and overly happy woman I hear Agent Hotchner say “and please call me Hotch.”

“Team this is Agent Y/L/N, the newest member of the team. Please make quick introductions and you can get to know each other more on the jet”

“SSA Rossi, piacere di conoscerti” says the Italian man while shaking my hand.

“Morgan, Derek Morgan, nice to meet you, pretty girl.” Says as he shakes my head and kisses me on the cheek. I hear a woman laugh and say “god, don’t scare her off on her first day” then turns to me and says “ Jennifer Jareau, but please call me JJ and forgive Morgan he can be a bit much.”

“My chocolate thunder is not too much JJ! Hi, my sweets I’m Penelope and from what came from the search I did on you,  I can tell we will be the best of friends. You have to come to my Batcave and see all the--” “all right Garcia, you can talk her ear off later, I’m Prentiss nice to meet you.”

I then turn to the only person left, I can feel the butterflies as he looks up from the book he is reading and says “Dr. Spencer Reid, nice to meet you” not looking at me.

“War and Peace, one of my favorites, and in the original Russian, impressive. We should talk about it sometime” I extend my hand towards him.

“ I - uhh-” he looks around awkwardly “ Actually… The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to kiss,” he says while looking anywhere but in the direction, I am at.

“Oh well in that case..” and I don’t know why or how but before my brain catches up to my actions I am kissing him on the cheek. Mortified and with blushed cheeks, I turn back around and sit down next to Penelope. Roaring laughter came from Morgan as he patted Dr. Reid on the back yelling “MY MAN!” I noticed Rossi smirking and Hotch trying to hide a smirk, but still slightly noticeable. However, not once did I look in the direction of Dr. Reid for the rest of the briefing.

The case ended up being a long, tiring one but eventually, the unsub made a mistake leaving room for the good doctor to crack the case and make sure everyone gets home for the weekend.

“My sweets, it has been a long, hard case and I know we are all tired but how about a couple of drinks to unwind before everyone heads home” Penelope happily mentions while greeting us all as we walked into the bullpen.  “Fine by me, I just need to get home at a reasonable hour for the kids,” says JJ. After JJ agrees and Morgan makes it clear that he would go even if no one else went everyone quickly agreed, including Spencer much to the surprise of everyone.

“First round on me,” says Rossi which was followed by a loud cheer from the group. Then came another round, then another. I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol but I thought I could still handle my actions. One thing that the team did not know about me was that when I liked someone I will talk and talk about them and like them nonstop. After all, they do say imitation is the highest form of flattery right?

I start feeling the effects of the whisky on ice, surrounded by the heat of the club, taking in the environment I glance over and see Dr. Reid casually reading.

“Wordsworth, you read all the good books, don’t you? What happened to War & Peace?”

“Finished it,” he says abruptly, never looking up from the book

o-okay, not one for talking I see.

“ finished it? You were reading chapter 2 this morning”

“ I read 20,000 words per minute,”  he says as he gets up, most likely for ginger ale.

Wh-what just happened?

Everyone was making their way back to the table, I can hear Morgan talking about that one time he and Dr. Reid got into a prank war.

“And then he answers the phone, enraged and all and stats yelling ‘Hello, this is Dr. Spencer Reid, I actually can come-”

“ Wait Morgan, he couldn’t have sounded like that” I interrupt him

“Oh! Pretty girl thinks she can do a better Reid impression, alright let’s see you try”

And that’s when I start making my best Reid impression, hand gestures and all. Everyone starts laughing, but what we all fail to notice is a shocked, teary-eyed Dr. Reid standing by the sidelines, holding a ginger ale in one hand and my favorite drink on the other.

Despite all of us being in the fine line between tipsy and drunk, Penelope figured it out

“you really like him don’t you”

“Whh-what are you talking about?”

“When we all tease Spencer we do it in a sibling type of way but you- you were blushing and your eyes were gleaming with adoration”

In that moment I couldn’t hide it anymore

“Penny let me put it this way I’m stumbling home alone to my cats because It makes me furious that I can’t have Spencer”

“What do you mean y/l/n” Hotch speaks up, that’s when I realized that everyone was very intrigued by Garcia’s and I’s conversation

“He can’t even look at me, I don’t think he likes me very much”

“Well, Spencer is just-” JJ begins to say as Derek looks around the bar

“Wait, where did the pretty boy go?”

~1 year passes by  ~

“Based on the crime scene, I don’t think he is psychotic”

“god, really Y/L/N how long have you been here? Have you honestly learned nothing?” Spencer hisses at me

“Spence-”

“Don’t! Only my friends get to call me Spence, you’d think that after 2 years you would know you aren’t my friend!”

After two years of enduring his criticism, constant annoyance, and honestly having to deal with the fact that he makes me so damn mad I just want to kiss him I snapped.

“THAT’S IT… I’VE HAD ENOUGH”

The whole precinct dropped what they were doing to look at me

“What have I ever done to you for you to hate me so much?”

“What have you done??  What have you done? Don’t you dare act so innocent!”

“Spe-- Dr. Reid, I truly have no idea what I ever did to you”

Spencer does something that seems like an incredulous laugh and starts shaking his head as he turns to walk away. Something in me changes. Despite all the fights we have had, despite all the names he’s called me he has managed to make me so sad every time I look into his eyes because I can’t be with him.

“ god Spencer you-you irritate me!”

Something snaps again and I can’t turn off the babbling mess of words that start leaving my mouth.

“You’re just so-so, you make me so sad, and mad, because you’re so damn gorgeous, smart, and nice to everyone and I can’t seem to understand why you hate me so much”

Despite my brain telling me to run I look up at Reid and see his facial expression morph into one of confusion, amusement, hurt, and something more, something I can’t quite describe.

“Y-y-yo- you are unbelievable, you think I would actually believe you, after the shit you said that first day at the bar?

“Reid, wh-w-what are you talking about?”

“I heard you. Before I had even seen you, I heard you-your giggle. God your giggle- it was like the strongest magnetic field pulling me towards you. Here I was not even being able to look you in the eyes because of how gorgeous they are, I felt like I could get lost in them forever, but then I heard you. That day at the bar. You were making fun of me, the way I talk, and the way I ramble. That’s when I realized that you- you are just like the rest of them.” Spencer finished with tears in his eyes. I couldn’t actually see his face but I could hear his tone of voice. All this time, and Spencer still hasn’t been able to look me in the eyes.

It’s then that I remember where we are. I look around the precinct, everyone was still staring at us. Hotch looked pissed, clearly not enjoying the scene that we were making. Rossi and JJ were passing around $50 bill between each other, guess they had a bet going on. Derek had his phone out on facetime with Penelope. And Emily- Emily was passing around popcorn to the amused local police officers.

Well, it was already out in the open, might as well go out with a bang.

“ you know for a genius, you are a big idiot”

“WOW-- really, that’s you being honest and nice?”

“ you want the truth, here’s the truth Dr. Reid.  When I’m drunk I can’t help but imitating the person I’m crushing on.  And honestly, Reid, if you already have a girlfriend, I’m fucking jealous of her but if you’re single then I really would like to smack you because I’ve been going home alone all this time.”  I laugh  “ I mean I am sure my cat Oreo thinks you’re a great guy and an ass and he probably thinks I’m crazy for talking about you so much”

And just as I had snapped before, I start getting angry, I can’t help but feel infuriated.

I start yelling.

“ But you know what, fuck all that. Because now I am just furious! Furious that you make me feel this way, that despite everything you say and do, you make me love you. And that makes me so mad!”

I don’t notice how or when but I feel someone grab my wrist, pull me close. I feel soft lips against mine. As I was about to kiss back, he pulls back.

“ Please just shut up, shut up, so I can tell you how gorgeously stubborn you are. And I truly am sorry for everything. I just- I thought you didn’t like me.”

He leans in, kissing me again. This time I kiss back. Spencer deepens the kiss.

And then, Spencer makes me laugh by saying something so amazingly sweet, dorky, and just so Spencer.

“So… how about after the case I take you home and meet Oreo, I would love to hear all the things this cat knows about me” he says while teasingly grinning.

But as cute as the moment was, Derek had to ruin it.

“GET IT, PRETTY BOY!! If you need protection I have some in my wallet!”

Morgan screams from the other side of the precinct.

The whole precinct explodes in roaring laughter and Rossi mutters, “Dammit kids, couldn’t you wait until we get back. You cost me a weekend of babysitting Henry for this.”

~  3 years pass by  ~

"And that Aurora, is how I met your mother,” Spencer mutters to the nearly asleep newborn.

“God, I don’t ever want you to grow up. I’d give it all I got Aurora if you could stay like this. Just stay this little.” Spencer starts saying while tearing up.

He doesn’t notice me standing in the doorway. Just soaking up this moment my favorite two people are sharing.

It is then that he looks up at me smiling and says

“But if you do grow up, I hope you’re just as stubborn as your mother.” with a wide grin, his statement effectively fulfilling his goal making me giggle.

“I will never get tired of that giggle of yours. What are you doing up my love, you just got discharged from the hospital. You should be resting.”

“I’ll go back to bed in a minute, look what I found.”

“Oh- oh wow! This is the nightlight Morgan gave me as a joke when I said I was scared of the dark!” Spencer gives me Aurora and takes the nightlight and plugs it in.

I place Aurora on her crib and as we both look down, Spencer says

“I won't let anyone hurt you. Won't let anyone break your heart. And no, we won’t desert you. Just try to never grow up. Please, just try to never grow up.”

I kiss my beautiful daughter on the forehead

“Sweetdreams Aurora”

"Sleep well my sleeping beauty. Let’s go to bed, Mrs. Reid”

“Let’s go Mr. Reid”

~ Present Day~

Dear Mom and Dad,

I promised I would write every day, just like Dad wrote to grandma. So here it goes.

Here I am in my new apartment in the big city, you just dropped me off.

It's so much colder and darker than I thought it would be, so I tuck myself in and turn my favorite nightlight on. Wish I'd never grown up.

PS: Tell Uncle Morgan that his little joke of a nightlight is what’s reminding me of home right now.

Much love,

Aurora Reid-Morgan

#what even is this #I am sincerely sorry for this mess #like please whoever reads this please forgive me #this is so bad #Spencer reid #Spencer Reid fluff #probably first and only thing I ever write #I do really like then ending tho #thank you Taylor for such amazing songs #dr spencer reid imagines #criminal minds #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #SDCP1000

[writer-in-theory]

until the day i die — spencer reid

summary: when reader suspected her best friend's husband has something to do with her recent disappearance, she takes matters into her own hands. it’s a good thing she’s the wife of an fbi agent and knows how to hide her tracks. song inspiration: no body, no crime pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader content warnings: language, discussions of cheating, oc character death(not reader), murder (tried to keep it as vague as possible, but ya know), covering up a murder, very morally grey characters word count: 4.7k a/n: this is for rosie's taylor swift challenge over at @samuel-de-champagne-problems ! seriously, congratulations on 1000 followers. you're an amazing writer but an even more amazing person. it's been really fun getting to talk with you about taylor swift over the past couple of weeks. you absolutely deserve all of the love and support possible!!

masterlist want to join my taglist?

“All I’m saying is if you ever decide you don’t want him, I’d be more than happy to take him off your hands.”

“Este!” you laughed, rolling your eyes at the other woman and taking another breadstick from the center of the table. “I love you, but you can’t have my husband.”

“He’s just so delicious,” and you knew your friend was teasing as she dramatically swooned.

“I’m telling Spencer you called him delicious,” you returned.

“Do it, maybe I can be the second Mrs. Reid. We’ll be the dynamic trio no one ever expected.”

Though you loved all of your friends, you couldn’t help but look forward to Tuesday nights simply because of your dinners with Este. The two of you had met in high school and have been inseparable since. She was your maid of honor at yours and Spencer’s wedding a few years ago, and though you never really got close to her husband, Jeff made frequent appearances at your house for double date night. She was a staple in your life that you couldn’t imagine ever being without. Spencer often joked that she was your first love, and while you never did love her romantically, you couldn’t exactly say he was wrong.

“And what would Jeff say about this plan?” you teased, not expecting your friend’s smile to drop completely.

“I don’t think he’d care,” she spat, stabbing harshly at a few noodles of pasta. It was a strange deviation from the laughter you’d been sharing all through dinner, one completely unlike her. Este was the most bubbly person you’d ever met. While she’d toned down after high school, she’d always remained optimistic and bright. This woman now, angrily digging through her pasta with more tension in her body than you’d ever seen, was so different from the Este you knew.

Este had gotten married almost directly out of high school to a man a few years her elder, Jeff. They’d always seemed happy, even though you never quite understood what she saw in him. He could be arrogant and sometimes didn’t handle it well when Este called him out on things. They had more fights in front of you and Spencer than the two of you had had ever. This was beyond any normal couple argument though, you realized as Este’s green eyes glazed over with tears.

“Hey, hey hey, what’s going on?” you asked, reaching a hand out to grab hers with a gentle squeeze. Seeing the sheer hurt on your friend’s expression was enough to make your heart clench.

You had to see this expression on your husband’s face often; coming home from bad cases often meant you holding him as he let out all of his fears. Fears that you’d end up hurt from some unsub trying to get to him, or you somehow being “tainted” with his mess. You’d often have to coax the information out of him, promising Spencer that it was okay to tell you what he was worrying about without fear of hurting you. It had gotten better over the years but still, sometimes Spencer liked to try hiding his negative emotions away. This expression Este held made you realize she was holding onto something big, something she didn’t want to burden you with.

Just like with your husband, there was no way you’d let her keep it all in. “You can tell me, Este, I promise. Is Jeff hurting you or something? Because Spencer’s in the FBI and we can make sure you do-”

Your rambling was cut off by Este’s small, shaking voice. “No, he’s not hurting me. Not in the traditional sense, anyway.” As much as you wanted to interrupt, you wouldn’t. You’d give her the time she needed to get the rest of it off her chest. “I think he’s cheating on me.”

And that, well. I never liked Jeff, you thought bitterly. “What makes you say that?”

“He’s been acting differently the past few months. I brushed it off as him being stressed at work, what with the new merger and all. But he’s been coming home late, and he’s been making these big purchases for jewelry I don’t ever see. Then the other day, I...he came home and I saw a bit of red lipstick on the collar of his shirt. Y/N, I don’t wear red lipstick,” Este managed to get out, voice becoming stronger and angrier as she spoke.

“I just don’t get how he thinks he can do this to me. We’ve been married for eighteen years, why would he throw it all away now?”

And as much as you hated to admit it, you said, “He thinks he can get away with it, that you won’t notice.”

“Exactly. Well, I deserve better than that. I’m calling him out tonight when we’re done here, that’s a promise,” Este told you, nodding her head with as much resolution as you’ve seen in her for years.

“Okay, let’s do this. Let’s call him out,” you agreed, ready to be there for your friend no matter what. “You know my house is always open, right? Spencer and I would be happy to have you.”

“You’re my best friend, you know that?” It was wonderful to see that smile light up her face again, quickly departing from the flash of hurt she’d shown. While you wanted to comfort Este more, you also would never object to sharing some joy with your best friend.

“Yeah, I do,” you laughed, thankful for the chance to brighten the mood again, “because you’re my best friend too.”

The two of you would continue dinner, talking and laughing about any topic you could come up with. Eventually, you’d talk about Spencer, how well he’s been recovering as it hits the two-year mark since he was framed for murder. You’d talk about how Spencer was dropping hints about wanting a kid, and you’d talk about how Este would make the best godmother your kid could ever have. You’d talk about nearly everything, but not once would either of you bring up Jeff again.

He wasn’t worth it.

When a week passed and it was time for another dinner with Este, you knew something was wrong.

Something was wrong because you hadn’t heard from her since last Tuesday. At first, you thought she was just dealing with the repercussions of calling out her husband’s cheating, or maybe even that she’d chickened out and didn’t want to admit it to you (not that you wouldn’t have been there for her either way). Something was wrong, you knew, because Este never showed up at the restaurant.

No matter what happens in your lives, neither of you have missed or forgotten a Tuesday night dinner.

So with a heavy feeling in your chest, you climbed back into your car and set off for Este’s house. Along the way, you dialed your husband’s number in the hope he’d gotten back to his hotel room by now. The sinking feeling in your gut was quickly developing a buzzing in your chest, an airiness you knew would lead to panic if you didn’t get it under the control. Your husband had always been the best at easing your concerns, and you were jumping to conclusions, right? You’d go to Este’s house and she’d be fine, and Spencer would laugh at your adorable overprotectiveness.

You nearly sighed in relief as his sweet voice answered, “Hello? Y/N?”

“Hi, Babe,” you answered back, setting the phone on your dash so you could talk and drive. “Is it a good time to talk?”

“It’s always a good time to talk,” Spencer answered back, and you could practically hear the sweet smile in his voice. It was easy to picture him standing there in his work clothes—a button-up and a cardigan, maybe—pressing the phone to his ear and turning away from his teammates so they wouldn’t completely overhear the conversation, not that it mattered anyway. Over the years you’d become close with his teammates, often going out to dinners with them when they all got back from cases.

“You’re a dork, Spence. I mean it.”

“It’s a good time to talk. Luke’s here since we’re sharing a hotel room. Is everything okay? I thought you were supposed to be at dinner with Este tonight,” Spencer asked, and you were grateful you had a partner who was interested enough in your life to know about your plans. You knew part of it was his lingering fear that something would happen to you while he was on a case, but it was still sweet.

“I was, she never showed,” you explained. “I think something happened to her. She was talking last week about calling Jeff out for cheating.”

“Jeff’s cheating on her? For how long?”

“Apparently a few months. She seemed pretty broken up about it, and I haven’t heard from her since. I’m heading over there now to see what’s up.”

“Y/N, no,” Spencer spoke, his voice suddenly sharper with his worry for you. “Don’t go over there. If you think something happened, then go to the police.”

“I don’t know something happened. She could’ve just forgotten, that’s why I’m going over there to check,” you explained, pulling onto the street your best friend lived on. Eventually, you were driving by her house and- “Oh G-d, Spence.”

“What? Darling, you have to talk to me. What happened?”

You heard Spencer panicking over the phone, you did. It would’ve been smart to ease his concern for you, but all you could do was slow your car to a stop and watch as Jeff helped a woman unload some boxes from her car. You watched as they walked up the driveway to the house Este had bought with him, how they passed Jeff’s car which seemed to have gotten a fancy new upgrade.

You watched as Jeff moved his mistress into the house Este lived in, laughing the whole time as if his wife hadn’t been missing for at least a week. You watched until you were crying, knowing then what had happened to your friend.

“I think he killed her,” you whispered, almost scared Jeff would hear you from inside your car.

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, your words doing nothing to ease his concerns, “How do you know that?”

“Jeff killed Este. Oh G-d, she confronted him and I think he killed her, Spence,” you gasped, knowing you needed to move your car but being unable to, “He’s moving another woman into the house, their house.”

“Y/N, listen to me carefully. I need you to drive away right now. Do not confront them, and do not let him see you were there. Go immediately to the police, okay? File a missing persons report, then go home and check that all of the doors and windows are locked. I’ll call Anderson in the morning and ask if he can check on you. Can you do that?” Spencer explained, using his FBI agent voice that you usually adored. Now, all you could imagine was Este buried somewhere, gone without anyone knowing to mourn her.

“Yeah, yeah I can do that,” you managed to force out, starting to drive away and leave Este’s house behind you. Your hands were slippery on the wheel and it took all of your concentration to remain focused on the road. Breaths were entering and exiting your chest rapidly now, and you were sure the only reason you hadn’t completely panicked was Spencer’s soothing voice talking to you over the phone.

“We just started this case so I don’t know when we’ll be home, but say the word and I’ll get on the first flight back.”

“No, no, those people need you. I’ll be okay, Babe, I promise,” you told Spencer, not sure if you believed the words but reassuring him anyway. Spencer did amazing work with the BAU, saving so many lives from some horrible fates, saving people like Este. There was no way you’d pull him away for this. You would be fine, you had to be.

“You’re going to be okay, Y/N, just promise me something.”

“Of course, anything.” Distantly, you thought of the last time you’d promised him something that big. A promise between you two at the BAU office, his hands cuffed between you, that nothing would ever keep you from loving him.

“I know Este was your best friend, but don’t do anything rash. Let the police handle this.”

“I will, I promise.”

You tried, you really did.

For three days you hardly left the house except for work, telling yourself that Jeff hadn’t actually seen your car that night and wouldn’t come after you. On the third day, you told Agent Anderson he didn’t need to check in on you every night after work, regardless of what SSA Dr. Reid told him.

Spencer checked in with you multiple times a day despite your insistence that he focuses on the case he had. You spent a lot of your time on the phone, between talking to Spencer and flipping through pictures of you and Este.

There was no way she could just be gone. After putting in a missing person’s report, the police have been scouring Virginia for her, but deep down you knew they likely wouldn’t find her.

On the fourth day, your resolve snapped. Not too subtly, you’d hinted to the police that there was a motive for Jeff to want Este dead. She was planning on calling him out on his cheating, she had life insurance that he could collect, and most of all: he didn’t even seem to be mourning her. Still, you got the call that they weren’t investigating him anymore. Jeff was cleared of the crime and it was determined Este must have left of her own accord, and in that moment all you saw was red.

How could they not see it? Este never would have left without saying something, anything to you. The two of you had known each other for well over twenty years and were practically sisters, she wouldn’t do something like that. Someone had hurt her, had made it so she couldn’t enjoy life any longer, and you knew exactly who did that to her.

Jeff couldn’t get away with this.

So you’d texted Spencer and told him you were going to bed early that night, to not worry about calling you later. You grabbed a duffel, throwing every cleaning product you could find into it along with a spare outfit and some rags. Your hands were frighteningly calm as you grabbed a kitchen knife and shoved that in, too.

He couldn’t get away with this. The police couldn’t prove he did it, but you would make sure Este was avenged. She was such a bright spirit and deserved to have much better than she did. It couldn’t end like this for her, it just couldn’t.

It took half an hour to get to Violet’s house. The younger sister of Este was completely distraught by the news, too, holding onto you and crying. Over the past few days, you’d been in touch with her often, keeping her up-to-date on the investigation. You’d relayed what Spencer told you about the odds of finding out what happened, of finding who did this.

“I don’t understand, Y/N. How could they not see that he did this?” she sobbed, pulling back and trying to compose herself as much as possible.

“I don’t know, Vi, I don’t know,” you answered, wiping away your own tears. You’d already shed so many in the past few days, it was a wonder there was still any left.

“That bastard is gonna get away with this,” Violet snapped, wrapping her arms around her middle. “He did this, I know he did. There hasn’t even been a funeral and he’s already living with that whore.”

“I know, Vi,” you sighed. Normally you wouldn’t agree with calling another woman that for no reason, but the image of that woman laughing and joking as she moved into Este’s house wouldn’t leave your mind. “Look, I won’t tell you everything, but...I’m not going to let him get away with this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...you know what my husband, Spencer, does for a living, yeah?”

“He’s an FBI agent,” Violet answered quickly. Though a few years younger than yourself, she’d been around so often that she was almost as close with you as Este had been. You remembered her being a major push for you to even ask Spencer out after meeting him all those years ago. “He hunts down serial killers, right?”

“Exactly. He hunts down killers by analyzing their behavior, analyzing the evidence they leave behind.”

“...Y/N, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s a good thing he tells me all about his job, how he catches them.”

A deep silence hung between you two, your eyes staring into hers as you waited to see what she thought of it. Would this be the moment you were arrested for planning a crime?

And then, “If anyone asks, I’ll say you were here all night. You left around 2 to go home. Is that enough time?”

“It’s perfect,” you answered, nodding resolutely. This was really happening. By the end of the night, you would be the very thing you always locked your door against. Hopefully, Spencer would understand, or at least find it in himself to forgive you eventually. Even better, hopefully, he never found out.

Violet wrapped her arms around you, squeezing tightly for a little longer than what was necessary. “Thank you,” she whispered, and it was the first time guilt hit your body. This young woman, barely into adulthood, was thanking you for getting rid of someone. It was morbid, but you couldn’t help but smile a little as she added, “Let’s do this, for Este.”

“For Este,” you answered back, determination filling your voice as you stepped back from the hug. You handed her your phone, knowing they’d be able to track where it goes if they really suspected you.

It was far too easy to get back into your car and head down to that house. Every time your nerves began to build in your chest, you repeated a gentle mantra that made you keep driving.

He wouldn’t get away with this.

It was around two-thirty in the morning when you got back, hands shaking as they gripped your duffel bag. As you stepped back into the house you shared with Spencer, you couldn’t help but think that it didn’t feel real. Maybe once you went to sleep, you could imagine it was some horrible nightmare in which you’d actually done the unforgivable.

You expected to take a shower with the hottest water possible then immediately climb back into bed. What you didn’t expect was for Spencer to be sitting in the living room waiting for you.

“What are you doing back so early?” you asked, setting down the bag but not stepping near him. How could you, when you felt so dirty? Tainted?

Spencer used to be so worried about damaging you, tainting you with all of his trauma. It was worse in the immediate aftermath of his prison stay, sure that this would be the moment you realized he was too broken to be with. It had taken a lot of therapy and a lot of work at home to convince him that you would stay with him no matter what and that it was impossible for him to ruin you.

Standing there, you couldn’t help but think he should’ve been worried about the reverse. Here you were, hands raised in front of your chest because you were scared to let them touch anything else, not after they’d gripped that weapon and shoved it d-

“We solved the case, I thought I would surprise you,” Spencer spoke, but instead of relief it was sharp in a way you weren’t expecting. If you didn’t know better, you’d almost say it sounded like the voice he might use when interrogating someone.

“Did you just get back?” Your voice was small, nervous even as you willed it not to waver. Maybe he went out for drinks with the team first, maybe he only just got back. Maybe you could pretend you ran to the drugstore for something.

“You weren’t answering your phone, so I had Garcia track it.” Oh no. A sharp gasp slipped from your lips as suddenly you understood the closed-off look in his eyes. You understood the way his hands shook as he walked over and pressed your phone into your own shaking hands. “How was Violet?”

You swallowed thickly, staring up at him and wondering what you could possibly say to the man you loved. The man you loved who caught killers for a living, the man who’d married you because you brought him light and joy. The man who was looking at you as if he could see the red that once marred your skin and clothes.

“She’s grieving. She wanted it to be over.”

“Is it?” Spencer asked, and you knew exactly what he meant. Did you actually do it? Did you do the unthinkable, did you kill someone?

“It’s over.”

The words were dull on your lips and with those words, you finally understood what happened that night. It hit you harshly, ripping any air you once had away and making your heart momentarily forget how to beat.

“Oh G-d, I actually did it,” you gasped, feeling the tears spilling over onto your cheeks. You let out a strangled cry as Spencer wrapped his arms tightly around you, as though he could protect you from the world. It wasn’t you who needed protecting, though.

Still, even through the crippling guilt, you allowed him to hold you. Even further, you allowed Spencer to guide you to the bathroom and strip you slowly. He guided you into the shower and you gasped when he wiped a stray spot of red off your inner elbow. Spencer scrubbed you clean, and when it was over he guided you into your pajamas and into bed. He laid beside you, playing with your hair and gently running his hands over you until you came back to yourself.

“Can we talk about this?” Spencer asked, and you shook your head.

“I won’t burden you with this,” you told him immediately, finally moving your own hands over his skin. “You catch people like me for a living, I won’t put you in the position where you could lose your job over this.” If you did get caught, right now Spencer would have plausible deniability. He could continue doing his job, he could continue to have a life without you.

“No,” Spencer immediately corrected, shocking you into silence, “you’re nothing like them. You’re not like the people I catch.” He sounded so sure that you wanted to believe him, but the way you’d almost shut yourself off as you cleaned up the mess just an hour before was stuck in the front of your mind.

Tonight you had crossed a line you never imagined was possible.

“I did that tonight,” and the words sunk deep into your chest where they’d reside forever. Este may have been avenged, but now you would have to live with this. You wondered if you would always see red stains when you gazed upon your palms. “I’m no better than anyone you’ve arrested.”

“You are, Y/N.” Spencer brushed his fingers over your cheek, wiping away some of your still damp hair from your face. “You’re different because you feel remorse right now. This is going to burden you forever.”

“I know,” you whispered, “I know I have to live with this now, and maybe it makes me a bad person but...I’d do it again. He would’ve gotten away with it.”

“The justice system isn’t always the best solution,” Spencer answered, and though he was right it still surprised you.

This was the man who had gleefully joined the FBI when he was fresh out of college, getting special permission to join at such a young age. All he’s ever known is law enforcement. You’re sure that the Spencer you loved before prison would have never uttered those words, but he was here now, laying beside you and comforting you after doing the unthinkable. The man you knew now had been knocked down and abused by the justice system, had seen the failings of it all first-hand.

This was a man who still believed in justice but maybe saw there were multiple pathways to it.

“I looked over the case while you were at Violet’s,” Spencer told you softly. “Did you know the woman he was living with took out a life insurance policy on Jeff two days ago?”

While the statement was seemingly innocuous, it hung heavy in the air with the implications hidden within it. This was Spencer, your Spencer, telling you he was ready to help cover this up. While you hated the woman for everything she was willing to do, you never expected Spencer would be willing to blame her for this.

There was no way she didn’t know about what Jeff did to Este, considering the speed with which she moved in. You could imagine her and Jeff, laying together in a hotel room and talking about what they could be if only his pesky wife was out of the way. They’d imagine killing her, describe all of the ways they could get rid of Este. Maybe the woman never expected him to actually do it, but now that Este was gone well, how could she refuse to have the man she wanted?

No, you wouldn’t mind seeing her go down for this.

“I didn’t know that,” you whispered back, staring at Spencer’s chin so you wouldn’t have to see what emotions he held within his honey-brown eyes.

“Will LaMontagne does,” Spencer answered, and it was all the words you needed. JJ’s husband worked in the precinct, would know this bit of information that would condemn Jeff’s mistress. She would go down for this. “It won’t be enough to convict, but they’ll suspect her. It’ll keep them away from you.”

You would talk about the implications of this night later, months down the road after the mistress is tried but ultimately acquitted of murder. Spencer would hold you through the nightmares, would remind you that while you did a bad thing you were not an inherently bad person. When you’d finally begun to forgive yourself, he would open up about how this was the toughest thing he ever had to go through, how he truly thought that night would be the last time he saw you free.

It scared both him and you that he was willing to cross that line with you just to keep you safe.

The case would make the local news, would eventually spread like wildfire. Who killed Este and Jeff Gardner?

Most would decide that Jeff must have killed his wife despite only circumstantial evidence. The real talk was if his mistress had actually killed him. There wasn’t enough evidence to convict her, and she rattled off furiously that it was you who did it, that there were no other options. There wasn’t enough evidence for that either. So people did as they typically do and created wild theories about what must have happened to Jeff Gardner that night. Maybe he joined a cult and ran off, maybe it was a gang deal gone wrong. No one would ever figure out what happened to him. It would remain a secret between just three of you.

And at Este’s funeral, standing between Violet and Spencer, you finally felt the closure you’d all been searching for. For the first time since Este first disappeared that Tuesday night, you were able to breathe fully.

TAGLIST @samuel-de-champagne-problems @just-arandomwriter @matthewgraygublerlover @silverhetdanes @ssawonderland

#SDCP1000 #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid imagine #spencer x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #oneshots #my fics

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Thank you to all the wonderful writers who’ve submitted for this challenge! I believe that this is the completed list. If I missed you, please DM me a link your fic.

Enjoy this wonderful works of art! I know I did. I loved reading all the different fics that were based off Taylor Swift's work. Her incredible songwriting and knack for super-specific emotion, makes her the kind of artist that really gets what you feel. I have personally found so much comfort and community in her work and wanted to share that with you all.

Stumbling Home Alone — @reidsbookclub

Spencer Reid x Reader (Fluff) Reader cannot seem to understand why Spencer hates her so much. Spencer cannot forget about that time reader made fun of the way he talked…. Or so he thought.

Our Love Lasts So Long — @strawberryspence

Spencer Reid x Reader (Angsty Fluff) Pretending to not be in love with your best friend is the hardest thing you had to do in your life. So when life gives you a chance to play pretend couple, you take it. (Heavily inspired by Taylor Swift’s seven.)

Soulmates, Myths, Philosophers, and Invisible Strings — @leahblackk

Spencer Reid x Reader (Fluff) Dr. Reid is a very loved professor in the college he teaches at, when he’s not working on the BAU. There’s also another person who is very loved in said college and that’s Miss Y/L also known as Spencer’s female version. The students thought they were soulmates so… why don’t tell pull the strings that were already attached?

Please Don't Ever Become A Stranger — @radiant-reid

Spencer Reid x Reader (Angsty Fluff) The morning after the BAU’s farewell for SSA Y/n Y/l/n stirs up some hidden feelings with Spencer Reid.

Fate Led Me To You (Time and Time Again) — @reidslibrarybook

Spencer Reid x Reader (Fluff) The music from above him flooded his ears, prompting him to walk up to that apartment right above him. In his attempt at some kind of confrontation, he meets the one person he’s been infatuated with since they first moved in… you.

Let The Flood Carry Away All My Pictures of You — @reidsacademia

Spencer Reid x Reader (Angst) You reminisce on your memories with Spencer through photos you took over the course of your relationship.

Until The Day I Die — @writer-in-theory

Spencer Reid x Reader (Angst) When Reader suspected her best friend's husband has something to do with her recent disappearance, she takes matters into her own hands. It’s a good thing she’s the wife of an FBI agent and knows how to hide her tracks.

The Last Time — @the-fandom-queen

Non-Reader Insert After the events of Memoriam, Spencer visits his father to talk. He soon realizes he should’ve walked away after the last time.

Beautiful Ghosts — @ray-lia

Spencer x Reader (Angst) Spencer is ruined by Maeve's death, leaving y/n to pick up his broken heart while hers continues to shatter. (fem!reader)

Come Back...Be Here — @boldlyvoid

Check Out Parts 2 & 3

Single Dad! Aaron Hotchner x Single Mom! Reader (Smut/Angsty With a Happy Ending) Readers husband died in a plane crash, leaving her with one baby while pregnant with another, and a crazy amount of debt. Scared she’ll have to sell the only home she’s ever known, her friend Emily, informs her that her boss is looking for a babysitter for his son.

#sdcp1000 #reid all about it #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid smut

[the-fandom-queen]

The Last Time

Summary: After the events of Memoriam, Spencer visits his father to talk. He soon realizes he should've walked away after the last time.

Pairing: none

Content Warning: no real warnings except angst with no happy ending; abandonment issues, and arguing between parent and child

Word Count: 1.5k 

Song Inspired by: The Last Time (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody

A/N: This is my entry into the Samuel-De-Champagne-Problems 1,000 Followers Challenge. I love your writing and I'm so happy that you hit 1,000 followers!! Its kinda concerning how much fun i had writing this. I hope you enjoy! (also its not beta’d so sorry for any mistakes) Link to read on AO3 here

@samuel-de-champagne-problems

Find myself at your door Just like all those times before I'm not sure how I got there All roads, they lead me here

He honestly doesn’t know why he’s here. He should be on the jet heading back with Rossi and Derek. Heading to see JJ and her newborn son, Henry. Instead, he’s here, standing outside of his father’s house at 10 pm.

As Spencer waits for his father to open the door, he thinks of the cruel irony in his current position. When he was younger, he was usually the one rushing to the door in the middle of the night to greet his father, who would find every excuse to come home as late as possible. And now here Spencer is, almost two decades later, standing on the other side of the door. Life’s just funny that way, he supposes.

I imagine you are home In your room, all alone And you open your eyes into mine And everything feels better

Soon enough, William opens the door and invites Spencer inside. Once inside, the two sit down and Spencer takes in his surroundings. They make small talk, both of them opting to ignore everything that happened over the past couple of days. William asks Spencer about his degrees and Spencer asks William about his cases. It’s all fine conversation but Spencer still feels off. Out of place, almost. And that’s when it clicks.

As Spencer looks around William’s house, he sees no pictures of the man that raised him. Instead, all the pictures were of William after he left him and his mother. There is not a single picture of Spencer, his mother, or his father during the time he was married. And in all of the pictures that are on the wall, he’s smiling. Spencer could count on one hand all the times he’s seen his father smile. And even then, those smiles didn’t look like the ones in the pictures.

“You look happy,” Spencer starts, cutting William off mid-sentence, “In your pictures, you look happy. I’m glad it only took you leaving your mentally unstable wife and 10-year-old son.”

William, who was caught off guard by Spencer’s statement, starts stuttering out a defense but by then, Spencer’s mind was back on the door.

You find yourself at my door Just like all those times before You wear your best apology But I was there to watch you leave

~seventeen years ago~

It was 12:49 am and Spencer was starting to get worried. His dad still hasn’t come home yet. He’s usually home no later than 6 pm. Sure, he’s been coming home later and later over the course of the last month, but he’s never been out this late. He needed to wait for his dad to come home so he could ask him a question, but he was starting to get tired. Spencer was just about to go and wake up his mom to ask her instead when he hears a key turn in the doorknob. His father walks through the threshold looking tired and a bit disheveled. He locks the door, takes off his shoes, and walks towards his bedroom, almost completely missing Spencer before he spoke to get his attention.

“Why were you late?” Spencer asks, startling his father, He turns to look at him and watches him for a second. Then he sighs.

“I was working late,” William responds, thinking that will be the end of it as he turns to walk to his bedroom.

“I called your office and your secretary said you left at 6:15. It’s 12:53 now.”

William, realizing he’s been called out for lying by a 9 year, starts to walk towards Spencer and squats down to look him in the eye. “I did leave at 6. After that, I went to a meeting with one of my clients and it took a little longer than expected.”

Spencer couldn’t think of any meeting that would take six hours but he didn’t know much about being a lawyer, so he accepted his answer.

William thought he was finally done and began to stand. Then Spencer asked his final question. “Are you leaving us?”

This made William freeze, “Spencer, of course I’m not leaving you. Why would you ask that?”

“Because I heard you and mom arguing this morning. You told her that one day you’ll walk out our door and won’t come back.”

“Spencer,” William said crouching back down to be on Spencer’s level once more, “I didn’t mean that. Sometimes when me and your mom fight we say things we don’t really mean, that’s all. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Spencer asks, his glasses sliding off his face.

William, not knowing how to turn down his son’s request simply replied, “Promise.”

And all the times I let you in Just for you to go again Disappear when you come back Everything is better

~~

“Why did you break your promise?” Spencer asks William. He feels more than a little bit childish with the question he asked and he hates how his voice shakes but he needs to know.

“I told you earlier. After what happened with your mother and Gary, I couldn’t handle the guilt of the situation. I had to leave.”

“No, you didn’t,” Spencer replies, his voice rising slightly. “You could’ve stayed. You chose to leave.”

“Look, I’m sorry I left you behind. But you have to understand. I was dealing with a lot at the time.”  

“And I wasn’t?” Spencer yells, filled with anger. “I was 10 years old dad. I had no friends, my mother was a paranoid schizophrenic, and the only person I could depend on left me.” Spencer quickly blinks away the tears in his eyes and tries to calm himself, but what William says next makes it quite difficult.

“What was I supposed to do? Stay? What was I staying for?” He yelled back, clearly agitated.

“Me. You were supposed to stay for me.”

And right before your eyes I'm aching Run fast, nowhere to hide Just you and me

~Nineteen years ago~

Spencer was sick. If he were to make an educated guess he would say he caught the stomach bug that’s been going around his school. Apparently, being the only first grader that washes his hands isn’t enough to protect him.

He wakes up from his nap, still feeling icky. If his mom was here she would make him soup and read to him until he felt better. But his mom wasn’t here. She was in Arizona visiting some family. So for the week, it would be just him and his dad.

Once Spencer is out of bed, he stumbles to his dad’s office. There he finds his dad, knee-deep in paperwork. When he notices Spencer standing next to him, he puts his pen down and lifts Spencer into his lap.

“Are you feeling better?” He asks. Spencer shakes his head no. “Well, how was your nap?” William asks, hoping to get a different response.

“I had a weird dream,” Spencer started, his voice scratchy from his sore throat, “You went to work one day and never came back. You left us.”

Spencer, clearly distraught by the dream he had, started to cry. In hopes of calming him down, William held him tighter.

“I would never do that Spencer. It was just a bad dream.”

Spencer, still not convinced or calmed, says, “But mom always says our dreams prepare us for the future.”

“Well, your mom isn’t always right Spencer. I’ll never leave either of you, okay?”

Spencer nodded in response and for the time being, both of them believed what was said.

This is the last time you tell me I've got it wrong This is the last time I say it's been you all along This is the last time I let you in my door This is the last time, I won't hurt you anymore

~~

Both Spencer and William have calmed down from their earlier argument. But that doesn’t mean the conversation is over.

“What did I do wrong?” Spencer asks, voice barely over a whisper, “What did I do to make you leave?”

“Nothing,” William answered after a minute, “You did nothing wrong. You were just a kid.”

“Then why did you leave me behind? Why didn’t you take me with you?” Spencer asked, begging for an answer.

“You loved your mother too much. I could never take you away from her.”

Spencer really wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe that his father did love him. That all his actions were out of love for Spencer. But he couldn’t. If he truly loved Spencer, he would’ve stayed, or at least done things differently.

And without saying anything, Spencer rose from his seat and walked out William’s front door. Not looking back when William called after him. Wondering if he could finally find happiness now that he left William behind. Hoping this would be the last time.

This is the last time I'm asking you this Put my name at the top of your list This is the last time I'm asking you why You break my heart in the blink of an eye This is the last time I'm asking you

#SDCP1000 #spencer reid angst #angst with no happy ending #light angst #no beta #songfic #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Hey guys!! I'm thrilled to announce that I reached a ridiculous milestone. It's incredible and really unbelievable that 1,000 people want to read what I write. I started writing and posting out of a place of loneliness. Between the pandemic and other things, I didn't really have much to do, besides the normal. Being on here has given me so many wonderful and kind friends. I adore all of you! So thank you! I'm so happy to announce that my challenge will be active!! Below the cut will explain the rules and expectations. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

Samuel-De-Champagne-Problems 1,000 Followers Challenge

So if you don't know it by now, I kind of like Taylor Swift (I love her actually) so I decided that I wanted to include what has inspired countless of my one-shots into this challenge.

Basic Rules

Challenge Running Dates: September 17-December 13th

Taylor Swift Inspired: All fics must be inspired by any Taylor Swift song. If you need help because you're not an avid listener, I'm happy to help suggest song ideas based on the plot.

Characters Allowed: While I only read/write Spencer Reid, I'm opening this up to any Criminal Minds pairing/characters (EX: Aaron Hotchner x Reader; Penelope Garcia x Luke Alvez; Spencer Reid x Reader; Emily Prentiss x Tara Lewis)

Content Allowed: As much as I would love for this all to be happy endings, there are so many fantastic Taylor songs that could turn into heartbreaking one-shots. So tag appropriately (i.e: angst without a happy ending, major character death, smut (MUST BE 18+)

Important Tags: Tag these fics with this - "SDCP1000" and make sure to tag me in the fic as well!

Formatting: At least 500 words (no word limit, but needs to be one part) and all fics should contain this information & a read more cut!

Title:

Summary: What's it about! Tempt your readers here!

Pairing: (include pronouns if x reader)

Content Warning: Put warnings of any content that might be trigger to your audience

Word Count: How long is it??

Song Inspired by: What song is it inspired by? If you want it to be a surprise, put it at the end!!

If you have any questions about the rules/expectations, don't hesitate to shoot me a message. I promise that I don't bite :)

Happy writing!

Tagging my taglist, & some other Spencer Reid - loving - Swifties:

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x you #fic challenge #SDCP1000 #spencer reid imagine