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fandomtherapy44 · 30 days

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Dean x reader So American One-shot

Summary: A vague plot based off this incredible song and my love for Dean Winchester

Paring: Dean Winchester x reader

Word count: 2,011

Song: So American-Oliva Rodrigo

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saradika

Drivin' on the right-side road

He says I'm pretty wearin' his clothes

And he's got hands that make Hell seem cold

Feet on the dashboard, he's like a poem I wish I wrote

I wish I wrote

Dean Winchester the guy that stole my heart and shattered my heart in the span of three months. It was my last year of high school. In the last stretch I was the top of my class. Going to Harvard, I never went out of line, always on time for curfew. My parents expected me to be perfect. So I never went out with friends or party’s I was asked out but the answer was always no. My whole goal was to get there and to continue to be perfect but then I met him.

It was the last three months of school. A normal school day with me focused on my work and my teacher announcing that we were getting a new student. All of my classmates were talking about who would join a school in the last three months. Then everyone went quiet when he walked in I wondered why so l looked up and it was the most handsome guy I had ever seen. “Uh hey my name is Dean Winchester and I'm looking forward to all the party’s for the end of senior year!” He fist bumped the air and everyone whopped and clapped in agreement but me. “Dean, why don’t you take a seat next to Y/n.” Damnit. He walks over to me with an egoist bob of his head. “Hey I’m Dean.” He held out his hand with a smirk. “I know.” “Well miss Knowitall what’s your name.” “Look dude can you leave me alone and focus on your work.” “Gesse I was just trying to be friendly.”

Couple weeks had passed and Dean did not stop try to talk to me which got really annoying. “Hey Y/n you going to the football party this weekend?” “No” “Why?” “Because Dean I have to work on the Graduation speech.” “Ooh you're the valedictorian smart and pretty.” I was a little too flabbergasted to respond so I just kept working as I always did.

The bell rang and I got up quickly to not have to look at Dean but my teacher had other plans. “Y/n just one minute You too Dean.” Why me!? “Yes Mr.Baker” Dean and I were now at the front. “Dean these last few weeks your grades have not been the greatest.” “Mr. Baker, what's the big deal? It's almost the end of the year.” “That’s exactly the problem Mr.Winchester if you do not pass the next test you won’t graduate.” Damn that sucks but why am I here. “Seriously!?” “Yes Seriously but I think a tutor would really help you.” Oh no no no. “That’s why I have Miss L/n here.” NO “If she is willing to take you on I think you can pass she’s top of the class.” Both of them look at me in questioning. I looked at Dean’s face and for some reason I did something I never thought I would I said yes.

That was over ten years ago I went to college and continued to be perfect but I never forgot that Damn handsome Dean Winchester. I got my dream job at the top too. I never really dated after Dean. I couldn't, I couldn't give my heart again.

And he says I'm so American

Oh God, I'm gonna marry him

If he keeps this shit up

I might just be in lo-lo-, lo-lo-, lo-lo-, lo-lo-lo-lo-lo

“Thank you for doing this.” We were at the coffee shop early in the morning before school. “Yeah sure but you have to be committed, that means no party’s no girls…” “Hey I am going to be Mr.School I might even go above you.” “Okay Mr.school when you get more than a c then we'll talk.” I tapped his book. “Damn ok so Miss scholar has jokes.” He gave me his smile and that was the first time that my heart quicked a little bit.

I was getting drinks with friends. The music was loud and lights blinding but I could still see him through all of that. I was sure it was him even though we were both eighteen when we last saw each other. That golden brown hair the green in his eyes looked like the sun mixed together with the tops of pine trees. The freckles dusted over his face like glitter. It didn’t matter if it had been ten years since I had seen him, I memorized every detail of him. He was chatting up some beautiful blonde woman and it was like I was back in highschool before he and I got together.

I gave my friends an excuse that I had to work early the next morning and got up at a quick pace and shuffled my bag over my arm and I practically ran to the exit. When I entered the dance floor there were so many people that I couldn't see my footing and I tripped over my own foot. But luckily someone caught me.

I was pacing back and forth in the hallway sweat running down my forehead looking at the clock every minute. The door opened very slowly and Dean walked out with head hung low. “Oh Dean, maybe I can talk to the teacher for you and you can retake it.” He holds up his head and brings a smile on his face. “No need cause I passed!” I paused for a second and I hit his shoulder. “Dean Wincheseter! Don’t you ever do that again!” He was laughing at my fake hits now. “OKAY okay I won’t teach now let’s go celebrate me gradienting highschool.”

I start to follow him and then think about how it’s almost eight. “Wait Dean, it's almost eight and I have curfew.” “Come on Y/n this is a big accomplishment on both of us. And you deserve it more than any of us.” He was right, I had worked my ass off. I deserve this. “Okay well if I'm going to break a rule then we are going to do it right.” “Great what’d you have in mind?”

We were on this cliff that overlooked the city that I found when I was a freshman and that was probably the last time that I was here. I looked over to Dean biting into his burger and the juice dripping down his lips and I couldn't stop thinking about… “Y/n y/n?” Dean was waving his hand in front of me. “Huh sorry.” “So how does it feel to break a rule miss perfect?” I sipped my drink to really think about his question.

“I haven't been here in years because I wanted to put my all in school work so my parents could know that their sacrifices meant something. I haven't had a damn burger in so long so I could only eat “brain food” my parents would say. I haven't breathed in the night cold air in the fear that I would get a cold. So to answer your question Dean it feels fucking amazing.” I grabbed my burger and took a huge bite. Dean looked a little shocked at that but happy too.

“Well it looks like we both taught something to each other. I’m glad I can leave you like this.” “Leave? You're leaving?” “Yeah my brother and I only went to school here while our Dad was doing … work.” “So this is kind of also a send off for me and I couldn't imagine spending it with anyone else. I just wanted to thank you for helping me.” “It was nothing really.” “No Y/n you are the first person who’s looked at me and saw more.” “Well you saw more then miss perfect.” “As I said before smart and beautiful.” At this point we had gotten closer on top of the old chevy impala and he leaned in and kissed me.

I apologize if it's a little too much, just a little too soon

But if the conversation ever were to come up

I don't wanna assume this stuff

But ain't it wrong?

I think I'm in love

I looked up and it was a very tall handsome man with shaggy brown hair. If a moose had a human from this would be him. “Are you okay?” I stopped to shake my head. “Yeah I’m fine thank you.” “Here, why don’t you sit down.” He brought me over to the bar. “Hey can I please get some water for…?” He looked at me for my name. “Y/n.” “Here you go.” “Thanks.” “No problem.” I glugged down my water. “Oh I didn't even get your name.” “It’s-” “Sam!” A voice called out from behind him. I looked up and nearly choked it.was.DEAN. I got up quickly and spilled the water all over me but that didn't matter. “Ah thank you but I got to go!” I got up and ran out. Dean came up to Sam. “Who was that huh Sammy?” Dean raised his eyebrows up and down. “No, just some girl needed help.” “What was her name?” “Y/n” “Y/n? Huh”

It was the next morning and the whole night my head was filled with sweet fluffy dreams of him and that's how I knew I woke up because it's not reality. I went to my regular coffee shop. It was the same one from those years ago. I turned with my drink in my hand and I collided with a hard chest. “AHH Im so sorry.” I grabbed napkins and started to wipe and I looked up and it was the man I had been trying to avoid. “Y/n?” “Dean Hi” I wanted the earth to swallow me. “How are you doing?’” “Good look Dean I got to-” “Go work of course well if you want to catch up I'll be in our spot tonight.” Dean walks out. And I'm left to wonder what to do.

I drove to the spot it was still abandoned as the last time we left it and just as breathtaking. I got out of my car and I saw that old chevy Impala and Dean standing there. I breath in deeply to prepare myself. “Hey.” “Hi.” “So how’s life?” He asked me. “Uh good you?” “I wish I had the same answer.” He leaned against the Impala. “That bad huh.” “You have no Idea.” “And I'm guessing you went through college being the badass you are.” He always made me laugh. “Badass I don’t know about that but yeah college you?” “Yeah, college was never really for me. I went into my dad’s business.” “Well, whatever makes you happy, but college is missing out on one of the smartest people I've ever met.” He laughs.

“Wow, that coming from miss.Scholar is huge.” “Oh, shut up.” I pushed on his shoulder. “Look I'm really sorry how we left things.” “It's okay Dean you to go.” “No, it's not I regret it every day.” “We were kids we couldn't control our situation.” “Still.” “Well, were adults now so how do you feel now after seeing each other again.” I said standing closer to him like all those years ago. “I feel like I should have held the girl tighter who changed my life closer.” “And I feel like I should have held the boy closer.” At this point we were right up against each other. And I did something I thought I never would do again. I kissed him.

And he laughs at all my jokes

And he says I'm so American

Oh God, it's just not fair of him

To make me feel this much

I'd go anywhere he goes

And he says I'm so American

Oh God, I'm gonna marry him

If he keeps this shit up

I might just be in lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love

#dean winchester #supernatural #team free will #sam winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester supernatural #dean x reader #olivia rodrigo #oliva rodrigo #guts olivia rodrigo #guts olivia rodrigo album #Olivia Rodrigo so american #Spotify

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burningvelvet · 10 months

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more random excerpts from lord byron’s diaries (here’s the first post)

“When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), — sleep, eating, and swilling — buttoning and unbuttoning — how much remains of downright existence? The summer of a dormouse.”

“If this had been begun ten years ago, and faithfully kept!!! — heigho! there are too many things I wish never to have remembered, as it is.“

“Dined — (damn this pen!)”

“Oh! there is an organ playing in the street — a waltz, too! I must leave off to listen. They are playing a waltz, which I have heard ten thousand times at the balls in London, between 1812 and 1815. Music is a strange thing.”

“How strange are our thoughts, &c. &c. &c.“

“It has been said that the immortality of the soul is a ‘grand peut-être’ — but still it is a grand one. Every body clings to it — the stupidest, and dullest, and wickedest of human bipeds is still persuaded that he is immortal.”

“I wish one was — I don’t know what I wish. It is odd I never set myself seriously to wishing without attaining it — and repenting.”

“Came home — my head aches — plenty of news, but too tiresome to set down. I have neither read, nor written, nor thought, but led a purely animal life all day. I mean to try to write a page or two before I go to bed. But, as Squire Sullen says, ‘My head aches consumedly: Scrub, bring me a dram!’ Drank some Imola wine, and some punch.”

“Read — rode — fired pistols — returned — dined — wrote — visited — heard music — talked nonsense — and went home. Wrote part of a Tragedy — advance in Act 1st with ‘all deliberate speed.’ Bought a blanket.“

“The only pleasure of fame is that it paves the way to pleasure; and the more intellectual our pleasure, the better for the pleasure and for us too.”

“I flew into a paroxysm of rage, which almost made me faint. I have not been well ever since. I deserve it for being such a fool.”

“Lewis [..] seems out of humour with every thing. What can be the matter? he is not married — has he lost his own mistress, or any other person’s wife?”

“Scrawled this additional page of life’s log-book. One day more is over of it, and of me; — but ‘which is best, life or death, the gods only know,’ as Socrates said to his judges, on the breaking up of the tribunal.”

“The respectable Job says, ‘Why should a living man complain?’ I really don’t know, except it be that a dead man can’t; and he, the said patriarch, did complain, nevertheless, till his friends were tired and his wife recommended that pious prologue, ‘Curse — and die;’ the only time, I suppose, when but little relief is to be found in swearing.”

“The lapse of ages changes all things — time — language — the earth — the bounds of the sea — the stars of the sky, and every thing ‘about, around, and underneath’ man, except man himself, who has always been, and always will be, an unlucky rascal. The infinite variety of lives conduct but to death, and the infinity of wishes lead but to disappointment. All the discoveries which have yet been made have multiplied little but existence.”

“At five-and-twenty, when the better part of life is over, one should be something; — and what am I? nothing but five-and-twenty — and the odd months. What have I seen? the same man all over the world — ay, and woman too.”

[talking about his experience at a circus] “There was a ‘hippopotamus,’ like Lord Liverpool in the face; and the ‘Ursine Sloth’ had the very voice and manner of my valet.”

[after seeing Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra] “Cleopatra strikes me as the epitome of her sex — fond, lively, sad, tender, teasing, humble, haughty, beautiful, the devil! — coquettish to the last, as well with the ‘asp’ as with Antony.”

[on German] “Of the real language I know absolutely nothing, — except oaths learnt from postilions and officers in a squabble. I can swear in German potently, when I like — ‘Sacrament — Verfluchter — Hundsfott’ — and so forth; but I have little of their less energetic conversation. I like, however, their women (I was once so desperately in love with a German woman, Constance).”

“Dined — news come — the Powers mean to war with the peoples. The intelligence seems positive — let it be so — they will be beaten in the end. The king-times are fast finishing. There will be blood shed like water, and tears like mist; but the peoples will conquer in the end. I shall not live to see it, but I foresee it.”

“Why, at the very height of desire and human pleasure, — worldly, social, amorous, ambitious, or even avaricious, — does there mingle a certain sense of doubt and sorrow — a fear of what is to come — a doubt of what is — a retrospect to the past, leading to a prognostication of the future. (The best of Prophets of the future is the Past.) Why is this? or these? — I know not, except that on a pinnacle we are most susceptible of giddiness, and that we never fear falling except from a precipice — the higher, the more awful, and the more sublime; and, therefore, I am not sure that Fear is not a pleasurable sensation; at least, Hope is; and what Hope is there without a deep leaven of Fear? and what sensation is so delightful as Hope? and, if it were not for Hope, where would the Future be? — in hell. It is useless to say where the Present is, for most of us know; and as for the Past, what predominates in memory? — Hope baffled. Ergo, in all human affairs, it is Hope — Hope — Hope.”

[written when he was a chief in the Carbonari mob during the (ultimately failed) Italian Revolution] “To-day I have had no communication with my Carbonari cronies; but, in the mean time, my lower apartments are full of their bayonets, fusils, cartridges, and what not. I suppose that they consider me as a depôt, to be sacrificed, in case of accidents. It is no great matter, supposing that Italy could be liberated, who or what is sacrificed. It is a grand object — the very poetry of politics. Only think — a free Italy!!!”

“I carried Teresa the Italian translation of Grillparzer’s Sappho, which she promises to read. She quarrelled with me, because I said that love was not the loftiest theme for true tragedy; and, having the advantage of her native language, and natural female eloquence, she overcame my fewer arguments. I believe she was right. I must put more love into ‘Sardanapalus’ than I intended.”

“Wrote some more of the tragedy. Took a glass of grog. After having ridden hard in rainy weather, and scribbled, and scribbled again, the spirits (at least mine) need a little exhilaration, and I don’t like laudanum now as I used to do. So I have mixed a glass of strong waters and single waters, which I shall now proceed to empty. Therefore and thereunto I conclude this day’s diary.”

“I have been turning over different Lives of the Poets. I rarely read their works, unless an occasional flight over the classical ones, Pope, Dryden, Johnson, Gray, and those who approach them nearest (I leave the rant of the rest to the cant of the day), and — I had made several reflections, but I feel sleepy, and may as well go to bed.”

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dearz310 · 7 months

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Ten things I notice about you | Jaehyun

SYNOPSIS: Jaehyun as a bakery owner and you are the familiar guest.

PAIRING: Jaehyun x Fem!reader

GENRE: Fluff | Just fluff | Stranger to lover

WORD COUNT: 9k+ words

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This senarios took me like months to finish. Jaehyun is really sweet in this story uwu. Anyway, fall is coming~ my favourite season is here <3 I hope you enjoy it and please share your thoughts with me. I'm not an English native speaker. If you found mistakes then let me know, I'd love to take note. Happy reading~

_Tuesday_

"If you have to choose to eat only one kind of breakfast, what would it be?"

You are lying down on the sofa, hands holding your newest favourite book. You stop in the middle, lower your book down and think for a few secs before answering your best friend, Jungwoo.

"I guess I will choose combo pain au chocolat and coffee. But it must be the pain au chocolat from the bakery down street, 2 blocks from our building you know."

"Yeah, I know, very well indeed. You only choose its pastry since it opened." Jungwoo says, “continues to focus on how to clean up his wardrobe mess.

Jungwoo is your best friend. Your family and his are neighbors and you were born before him only 29 days. You have had each other since you both were just newborn, and now young adults. Sometimes people are concerned about why you and he are not a couple. But it is normal. In fact, he is the most active person when it comes to finding you your own prince charming.

"They have an almost perfect pain au chocolat using dark chocolate with 80% cocoa. Normally bakers only use like 50%-60% to make sure it is not too bitter but it's not my style. Besides, they are near, and they open early in the morning." You exhale. "How I wish to have one for tomorrow morning, hey, tomorrow is Wednesday, could you please..."

"Get you one while I am running past there tomorrow?" Jungwoo turns his head toward you. "With a cup of coffee from Ten's coffee shop. Okay will do."

"That's my best friend lady and gentlemen. Love ya." You wink and that makes Jungwoo goosebump.

"Why don't you join me tomorrow? Then we can have breakfast at Ten's coffee shop?"

"I must go to the airport early the next morning to bid farewell to my nephew Seojin. He will go back to UK for at least 2 more years. You will miss your favourite breakfast at Ten's if you wait for me so just eat your first, I can have mine when I get back."

"Got cha." Jungwoo nods. "Could you please help me down there? I seriously have no idea why I have this much clothes."

"Coming."

------------------------------

_Wednesday_ 6 am

One of Jungwoo’s habits is running in the early morning. It makes him feel fresh and relaxed. Sometimes you join him, even though it's not your favourite thing to do. He will run for at least half an hour, then go back home, take a shower and get ready to grab his morning coffee and breakfast at Ten's coffee shop at 7 am.

Ten is also his and your close friend. You guys met in a coffee exhibition 2 years ago and you were instantly in love with Ten's special coffee recipe then. How small is the world, just a few months later, a new coffee shop appeared down street and turn out the owner is him.

Today Jungwoo visits the Jung bakery first. He remembers to get you your favourite dark pain au chocolat. The Jung bakery only bakes a few ones, twice a week on Wednesday and Sunday, and doesn't even put a name tag for it. That's why only loyal customers know. If it's not because you asked before whether they have any dark chocolate pastries with high amount of cocoa, then you might never know it exists.

The bell rang when Jungwoo opened the door. He goes straight to get your pain au chocolat, also a milk bread for him, and make a payment as usual. However today, welcome him is the new cashier, not the same person he always sees.

"Oh hi." Jungwoo is a bit of a surprise. "I'd like to pay for these."

"Sure, please wait me a bit." The cashier smiles and quickly scans the price, as well as prepare a box to put Jungwoo's bread on. The dimples keep showing on his handsome face. "You must have been here many times."

"Yeah, I did. But I haven't seen you around before?"

"I’m just here to help cause today the cashier is on sick leave. It's Jaehyun, nice to meet you! And here is your bread, enjoy." Jaehyun says and hands the paper bag at the same time.

"Thank you. I'm Jungwoo, great to meet you either. Me and my friend are also the loyal guests at Ten's coffee shop right next to you. I guess we will see you around more often from now on."

"Next time please come here with your friend too, I'd love to meet you both. Free extra cookies are on me." Jaehyun smiles.

"Deal."

-----------------------------

"Hey, how it's going?" Jungwoo asks. He welcomes you at his apartment with the box that contains your favourite pain au chocolat. He even puts the strain into the coffee cup for you. "Class today?"

"I just tired." You exhale, too exhausted after coming back from the airport. "Already missed Seojin. And yes, I have class this afternoon, biology class of Professor Kim. Urgg, can today be worse?" You pout.

"Come on, eat your breakfast and you will feel charged. I know this can light up your day."

"Uhmm, 100 points." You already finished half the pain au chocolat. "I don't know why they only bake this twice a week on Wednesday and Sunday. Even though this is a good idea, because I specially need more energy those days. But still, if they have it for the whole week, you might see this is the only breakfast I have."

"You are so obsessed with it." Jungwoo laughs. "Eat slowly. Oh, and your coffee has extra shot. Ten said you need that every time you have biology class."

"Aww, he is so sweet. He even remembers that. What did I do in the past life to have friends like you guys?"

"Then you should treat me well if you still want to meet me in your next life. I almost forgot to tell you. Today I met a new cashier at Jung Bakery, and he is very nice. He said next time, he will give us free cookies."

"Really? Cool! Thanks for the breakfast, Jungwoo." You grab your coffee. "I have to go to the library now, still have one more English homework need to be done. Enjoy your day off."

"See ya."

-----------------------

_Thursday_

The morning class is over and you're on your way to meet Jungwoo for lunch. As soon as you turn left at the end of the A building, your eyes catch Jungwoo. It is not hard to recognize him with his height and bright face. But he isn't standing there alone. There is a girl, seem like she is giving him a gift or something. You slightly smile, Jungwoo is really famous with girls and he knows that well. However, the next thing you notice is that the girl quickly left with the gift still in her hands...

You wait for a few mins before getting out and wave your hand so he can see you. He smiles and immediately helps you carry your bag.

"Such a gentleman. I can see why girls go crazy about you."

"Well, I am always full of charm." He smirks.

"I saw you with a girl a moment ago."

"Yeah, she is my Literature classmate. She said she likes me, but I said I already liked someone else."

"If this is a scene in a movie then the person you're talking about must be me. But this is reality, so spill it friend, I'm listening."

Jungwoo laughs hard. "Yeah, it's not you. It's Ahreum. You know Ahreum from my History class, right?"

Your mouth forms into an O. "Of course, I remembered her. She is so nice. I actually met her on University Day, and she helped me find the Admin office. I also met her several times when I prepared for the radio show. She is on the sound check team if I’m not mistake?"

"Yes, that's her."

"Nice Jungwoo. I think you guys match very well." You wink and smile at him. "You might already know but she is still single, bro."

"I know." He laughs. "That is the first thing I have to make sure before taking another step."

You both sit down at the cafeteria near your university. It is neither too big nor small, and guests here always try not to speak too loudly. It makes the place has a chill and comfortable vibe that you both enjoy so much.

As you are scanning the menu, Jungwoo is whispering. "Y/N, we just sat down for a few mins, but the cashier is already noticed you."

You don't even take a glance at his way. "Nah, maybe I have something on my face, or I sit at his direction by chance. I want this, number 3 "The Rainbow", 1 sourdough slice only, and an apple juice no sugar."

"Got it. And I mean that sis. Remember the guy in your Public Health class last semester? He tried to be my friend just to get your attention. And that one from my soccer club too. He asked for your phone when he saw you coming to cheer for me."

He stops to call the waitress and order food for both of you. "But you rejected them all." He continues when the waitress left. "Y/N, it has been 4 years since your breakup. Don't you interest in anyone at this University?"

"Nope." You look straight at him, then you see his eyebrows scrunch a bit. It makes you tilt your head with a bit of hesitation in your voice. "So far? Look, I do notice boys around me, okay. But they are just not my type."

"I still remember your ideal type. The friend in my soccer club, what's about him? From my point of view, he is quite close to your type, isn't it?"

"Nah, he asks for my phone number the first time he sees me. That makes an introverted soul like me feel uncomfortable."

"Alright alright, eat your lunch first." He gestures you to eat your sandwich before it cold. "Let's see, no smoking is a must, a handsome man, in YOUR standard, he must be nice, gentle and funny."

"True." You nod. "But ideal type isn't that important, as long as he has good personality and we match well. Like someone who can watch Disney movies with me?" You shrug.

"You used to force me re-watch the whole High School Musical with you." He pouts.

"It is because you think Troy and Gabriella tried to steal the spot of Sharpay and Ryan on the first audition, but they were not."

"Yeah, now I know."

--------------------------

_Friday_

Jaehyun is busy in the kitchen testing the ingredients for his new recipe. After graduating, he used to work as a chef but then chose to open his own bakery. He loves baking. He loves the smell of freshly baked. Even though he is busy from the morning till the end of day, he still loves what he does. Now after hiring staff to help, he finally has time to research and work on the new flavour.

He surely has his pick, Valrhona 70%, Vanilla Madagascar Bourbon. Here he is, testing the glaze for his blood orange cake. He wants the new cake to be ready this Sunday.

"Jaehyun, I already cleaned up everything. I will go back home now. You should get home soon too." The cashier calls him from the kitchen entrance.

"Oh I forgot about the time." He then takes a glance at his watch, it's 9 p.m. "Thank you for reminding me. I'll finish this and close the bakery. You worked hard today, see you tomorrow."

The cashier nods his head and closes the kitchen door. After pouring all the blood orange glaze into a clean jar and put it into the refrigerator, Jaehyun also quickly cleans up the place to head home.

As he is walking on the street, he notices there are a couple of kids playing in the playground. He also loves these places so much when he was small. Jaehyun takes a deep breath. He will have a busy weekend. He is planning to have some time off for himself soon if this new cake receives good feedback.

The first rain drop appears. Lucky for him, he remembers to bring the umbrella. However, he doesn't want to come home. This season rain comes and goes quickly. Besides, he hasn't eaten dinner. He decides he will have a noodle cup at GS25. This kind of weather is perfect to have noodles. His home is not too far, he can come back home anytime he wants.

He gets a cup of noodles, a boiled egg and one hot dog. Although he is not a big fan of instant food or junk food, he gladly to have it sometime. As he is waiting for his turn to pay, the door opens again and there was you quickly running in. Outside it is heavily rain now.

There are two things that make he notices about you, a strange person. Firstly, the way you close the door. Normally people will let it auto close, but you turn around and make sure it closes. And the second thing is, when you get into the line to wait for payment, he sees you pick exactly the same things with him, the same noodle flavour, a boiled egg and hot dog.

"How do you want to pay?" The cashier voice makes Jaehyun turns his head straight.

"By cash please."

He chooses one random table beside the window to drop his bag. Only a few mins later, you appear on the second floor. A sudden thunderclap while you're trying to get your noodle out of the machine makes you startle a bit. Luckily you didn't drop your whole hot noodle cup.

"Are you ok?"

You hear someone asking and as a natural reflex, you raise your head toward the sound. Very nice voice, you thought. This guy is tall, handsome, he looks young, maybe around the same age as you, and you can see the cute dimples when he smiles.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. I was just startled because of the sudden loud sound. Thanks for asking."

"Where is your table? Let me help you bring it to your place."

No, I'm fine, no need to do that. You really want to refuse but somehow, you're not doing that. Instead, you point to your table and say: "Then could you please help? I sit there."

Your table accidentally the one right in front of Jaehyun's table. He really wants to ask if he can sit with you so that he will have a chance to talk with you more. But at the same time, he thinks it might make you feel uncomfortable. He is a stranger anyway. So, after putting down your stuff and wishing you enjoy your meal, he just returns to his table.

Today is a super busy day. You have a late lesson and ton of tasks need to be done for next week course. No one is home since your parents are enjoying their married ceremony trip. You slowly enjoy your noodle cup, perfect for this kind of weather. Sometimes you stop to look outside. You like rainy days, you like watching it like this. The smell of the air in the rain and after the rain makes you feel fresh. Drop your chopstick down, you get your phone to message Jungwoo and ask him to bring you an umbrella.

From the corner of your eyes, you notice the handsome guy is cleaning his table. Seems like he just finished eating and is about to leave. He then slowly approaches you with an umbrella in his hand.

"Hi, sorry it's me again. It is raining outside, and I notice you don't have an umbrella. My house is near here so I can quickly run. Do you need this?" He smiles shyly while offering his umbrella. His dimples pop up again and you notice his ears are pink too.

You smile widely, shake your head to let him know that you don't need it. "Oh, thank you! That is so nice of you. My friend will be here soon to catch me so no worry. Besides, even when your house is near, I don't want you to get wet."

"Ok." Jaehyun nods, right when he is about to say more, you hear Jungwoo calling your name.

"Y/N ah!"

You wave your hand and smile widely when you see him.

"Jungwoo?"

Jungwoo was surprised when he saw you talking to a strange guy from far away, but then turns out this strange guy knows him.

"Oh, you are the cashier I met earlier at the Jung bakery, Jaehyun, right?"

"Right, it's me. It great to see you again Jungwoo."

"You guys met each other before?" You question both.

"Yes, we did." Jungwoo nods. "He is the cashier I met at the Jung bakery; I told you remember? Jaehyun, this is Y/N, she is my best friend."

"Nice to meet you Y/N, I'm Jaehyun." He reaches out to shake your hand.

"Nice to know you, Jaehyun. So, you are the one who promised to give Jungwoo free cookies next time he comes to Jung bakery."

"Ha ha yes that's me." He scratches the back of his head. His ears turn red again.

"We will make sure to go back next time. It is already 9, I should get Y/N home, or her parents will worry. I bring extra umbrella for you." Jungwoo gestures you to stand up and you quickly follow him after cleaning your table.

You give Jungwoo the hot dog you bought earlier. "I bought it for you."

"Nice, thank you. Jaehyun, we will go now. See you later!"

"Take care." Jaehyun waves his goodbye. He is still looking at your way after you leave. The world is so small, he is surprised at the way he knows you and your friend. He feels relief because you don't have to go out in the rain alone. There are three more things he notices about you. He thinks about you and Jungwoo, you both must have a special bond. He takes note that you have a pretty smile, and you seem bubbly. He can't wait to see you again at his bakery to find out what do you like.

_______________________________

"How do you know him?" Jungwoo asks when both of you are on the way back to your apartment. "I mean Jaehyun."

"I actually don't know him. We accidentally met at GS25. He is offering me his umbrella and then you came." You shrug. "But he seems kind. Surprisingly you met him before."

Jungwoo nods his head. "From what I see, he seems nice. And if I'm not mistaken, he is your ideal type, sis." You can sense the mischievous in the way Jungwoo sounds.

"CLOSE. Close, okay." You raise your eyebrows at your best friend. "I won't deny that he looks attractive. But we barely talked, I know nothing about him."

"Do you want to pass by Jung bakery this weekend? On Sunday morning? My mom asks me to buy a new sourdough, and you can have a pain au chocolat for yourself."

"Deal. Do not just talking about my love life. What about you and Ahreum, anything new?"

Jungwoo turns to look at you with a big grin on his face. "I asked if she wants to watch a movie with me this weekend and she said yes."

"Ya bro, congratulations. Be good to her or else you will hear a whole lesson from me."

"Roger that."

__________________________

_Saturday_

You're sitting in Ten's coffee shop, nonstop typing to work on your assignment. Your professor wants you to finish research about blood pressure before the next subject. Ten was not only reserved a place near the window for you, but he also prepared double shot latte for you.

The weather is nice, the sky is blue and not too hot thanks to a huge rain last night. Sometime during your work, you take a look outside, wishing you were out there, inhaling a deep breath of fresh air. Taking a sip of coffee, you suddenly remember how caffein affects blood pressure. You promise to cut down on caffeine right after this busy week is done, even when you have no health problem.

Time flies so fast. You don't even realize it is lunch time. Not until your stomach growls and Ten approaches you.

"You want some lunch here?" He asks.

"Thank you but not today. Mom asked me to have lunch at home, today my grandmother will visit us. Have a nice day Ten."

"Nice day Y/N. Send my hello to your grandmother for me."

"I will. See you later!"

While packaging your stuff and ready to leave, you see a familiar person passing by. It is Jaehyun. He must go back to the bakery, you thought. After a few minutes thinking, you decide you will visit the bakery today. I can buy cookies for grandmother; I can treat myself with a small box of mini choux... You try to think about reasons why you want to go there, but deep inside, you know you just want to meet him again. It doesn't harm to get to know him better.

Jung bakery is just a few meters from Ten's coffee shop. The door is painted in white, it kind of different from most bakeries you know, which is coloured in brown. You push the door to step in. The doorbell is ringing and the first person you see is Jaehyun, who is busy organizing a new rack of freshly baked pastries.

"Welcome..." Jaehyun stops for a few seconds when he sees it is you. "Oh Y/N, hi."

"Hi Jaehyun." You smile. "How are you doing today?"

"Good, I guess, we had a busy Saturday morning. But I met a very lovely old couple. The grandfather is so careful toward his wife. They remind me of my grandparents."

"That's so lovely."

"Do you especially want anything today? Free cookies are on me."

"Oh no, no, I mean, Jungwoo isn't here today. We will come back tomorrow morning and you can give it to him then. I think I will have some soft cookies. And a box of mini choux." You grin.

"But I want to give you free cookies." Jaehyun smiles back. His ears are slowly turning red again. "You like cookies and choux here?"

"Cookies are for my grandmother, she is going to visit us today, and she likes soft vanilla cookies. Well, she shouldn't eat much but one is fine. Choux isn't my number 1 choice, but I haven't eaten it for a while. Oh, I won't take that craquelin, mini chocolate choux please." You point at the chocolate one. You should get them by yourself, but Jaehyun insists on doing that for you.

"Anything else?"

"That's enough, thanks Jaehyun."

"Then what do you like?"

"Me? Err a bit complicated?" You shrug. "But I love chocolate for sure, dark chocolate, around 80% cocoa and above. I really like the pain au chocolat here, the special version using dark chocolate. The baker here should get praise for making it."

Jaehyun laughs. His ears are now totally red after hearing your compliment. You haven't figured out he is that baker. He just nods his head constantly to let you know he is listening to everything you are saying.

"I guess you don't like things that is too sweet?"

"Yes, you're right, I prefer sweet and sour. What about you Jaehyun? What do you like?"

"I like dark chocolate too. I think we have the same taste. My pick here along with Pain Au Chocolat is Salted Chocolate Brownie Cookie."

You can feel your phone ringing inside the pocket. You excuse Jaehyun to answer the phone call from your mom. She said your grandparents are home now and asked if you could go back soon.

"Sorry Jaehyun, I gotta go now. It's nice talking with you today."

"Your cookies." Jaehyun nods and hands you your paper bag. "I guess I will see you tomorrow?"

"Of course, Jungwoo and I will be here tomorrow morning. See you then!"

"Have a nice day Y/N."

He looks at your small figure. Still the same way of closing the door. Today he knows one more thing about you: You love dark chocolate.

_________________________

Your grandparents greeted you with a warm hug. They still choose to live together in their small house in the suburbs instead of moving to Seoul. Grandmother said that she loves the air there, while grandfather has his friend group who always love to play chess with him every afternoon. The house has a small garden with a lot of roses. Grandfather said it is grandmother's favourite flower.

"I miss you so much, baby girl."

"Grandmother, I'm an adult now, only you keep calling me baby girl." You pout.

"In my eyes, you will always be a baby girl who loves watching me take care of roses and running toward your grandfather's way every time he says let's take a picture." Your grandmother smoothing your hair.

"I bought your favourite vanilla soft cookies." You open the paper bag and there is something to surprise you. Not only two cookies and a box of choux you bought earlier, but you also find one more cookie that noted "Salt Chocolate Brownie Cookie" and a small piece of dark chocolate.

Jaehyun's favourite things. You're not aware that you're smiling like an idiot until your father calls you and asks you to help him in the kitchen.

"I'm coming dad."

_____________________________

_Sunday_

You woke up early, rode a bike around Han River and took a shower before texting Jungwoo. After half an hour preparing, with two pumps of your first pick perfume, and finally stepping into your favourite light purple sneakers, you are now ready to go out.

Jungwoo is patiently waiting for you downstair. When he sees you are coming, he smiles. You definitely care about your appearance today. Normally it only takes you 10 mins to get ready. He is not sure what or who affects your decision, but he has a name on his head.

"Morning." He welcomes you. "Look like someone is in a very good state."

"ME." You point at yourself. "I had a good sleep last night; I woke up early this morning and I even had some time to ride a bike. It has been a while since I have had this much spare time. Now I get why people keep advising you to live a healthy life."

"Look who is talking, a future doctor. Besides, I think you still care about your health, it’s just you are too busy lately."

"Maybe you're right. Hey, my grandparents visited yesterday. Grandmother made a whole box of kimchi dumplings for you. I will give it to you later."

"She is like my grandmother too. Are your grandparents well?"

"Sure, they are. They look so happy every time I meet them. How I wish I could be like that when I am older."

"Not just you sis, they are basically everyone's dream." He smiles.

"I will visit Ten first, do you want a drink?"

"One ice americano please. Then I'll go to the bakery first, see you there."

________________________

Jaehyun should have stayed in the kitchen today but he couldn't keep himself away from the main room. He uses every spare time to tiptoes and sneakily takes a peek at the main room, that makes other bakers who work with him and even the cashier looks at him in curios. They used to sell new cake before, but they had never seen their boss act like this. Only Jaehyun knows the main reason why he keeps going back and forth.

The door opens and Jungwoo steps in. As usual, he goes straight to get your Pain Au Chocolat first then looks around. Jaehyun was standing behind the door when Jungwoo came. He assumes that you come with Jungwoo, it takes him less than one minute to leave his apron and oven glove behind to go out.

"Good morning Jungwoo!"

"Hi Jaehyun. How are you today?"

"I'm doing good." Jaehyun answers but instead of fixing his eyes on Jungwoo, he glances around trying to find your presence. Jungwoo seems to sense this as well. He slightly smirks before giving the new friend an assurance statement.

"Y/N is buying drinks, she will be here soon."

"I see..." Jaehyun nods his head. "Did you choose what you like? Today we have a new cake, Blood Orange Bundt Cake, maybe you would like to have a try?"

He notices Jungwoo only gets one Pain Au Chocolat, and it makes him quite confused. Isn’t he supposed to get two for you and for himself?

"Sorry to ask but I see you only grabbed one Pain Au Chocolat? We still have many."

"Oh, actually this is not my favourite, sorry to the baker but I'd prefer something sweeter, or soft cakes, so I'd love to try the new Bundt cake. I only bought this for Y/N, she is so obsessed with it."

"Hi guys, hi Jaehyun~" Your bubbly voice echoes in the air. You look pretty today; and Jaehyun can smell the sea salt and sage when you step inside. The sense is very fresh. Must be her perfume.

"Good morning Y/N."

"How are you guys doing?"

"I'm picking today's sweet treats follow Jaehyun's suggestion." Jungwoo smiles and slightly waves the tray in front of your eyes. "Your number one pick is already here, no worry sis."

"I am not worrying about that." You glare at him before turning to Jaehyun. "What are you suggesting for him?"

"I told him we have a new cake today, Blood Orange Bundt Cake. I have a small piece for tasting here, wait for me a bit." Jaehyun quickly excuses himself to the kitchen.

You find things seem a bit strange. As you remember, Jaehyun is a cashier, but the old cashier is here. Besides, if the bakery wants the customer to have a taste before buying, they should put it here so that everyone knows. You are confused but before asking your best friend, he says another thing that catches your attention.

"I think he cares about you." Jungwoo nudges your shoulder. "He was obviously looking for you while you weren't here. He didn't even refuse that." He smirks.

"So what? We told him we would be here today, there would be nothing strange if he was looking for me. Maybe he was just curious."

That's when the kitchen door opens and Jaehyun comes back with two slices of the new cake. He asks both of you to sit down.

"Our new cake guys. Enjoy eating." He gives you both clean forks.

"Thanks, Jaehyun, it smells good." You smile. "And delicious." You nod your head after tasting one piece. "Sweet and sour at the same time. I love it."

The smile spreads across Jaehyun's lip. Jungwoo also nods his head in approve. "She's right, this one is a boom, Jaehyun. You said it is new, right? Soon, it will be one of the top sellers. I am already a fan of it."

"Thanks guy." Jaehyun shyly scratches the back of his neck. “Fruity pastries aren’t my strength. It’s great to hear such compliments from you two.”

"Oh, I almost forget." You put the fork down and grab the Matcha latte cup on the table, hand it to Jaehyun. "I bought this for you. I want to thank you for your cookies yesterday. I don't know what you like and whether you drink caffein or not, so I bought Matcha latte, hope it's ok."

Jaehyun eyes soften. "You don't have to do that. Thanks Y/N! Matcha latte is good. And for your information, I can drink caffein, I prefer coffee to tea...I mean if you want to know." His ears are turning red again.

You giggle. "Yes, I'd love to know that. Can we stay here for a while? I'd like to enjoy my Pain Au Chocolat before it gets cold."

"Do you want me to heat it up for you? Jaehyun suggests.

"That'd be great but am I bothering the baker?"

"No worries, you're not bothering me at all."

"You are the baker here?" Jungwoo looks at him confusedly.

"Yup I am. Actually, I am the owner here." Jaehyun sheepily smiles. "My full name is Jung Jaehyun, and that's how I named the bakery, Jung bakery."

"I thought you were a cashier, and I couldn't help but wonder why you don't have to work, sorry." Jungwoo says.

"Me either, hehe sorry Jaehyun."

"It's ok." Jaehyun laughs. "I should have told you earlier. Here, let me heat up the Pain Au Chocolat for you. And do you want another slice of this Bundt cake or something else Jungwoo?"

"A big slice of Blook Orange Bundt is perfect, thanks chef!"

Jaehyun takes your bread with him and disappears to the kitchen. You and Jungwoo share a look before you both laugh out loud.

"Uhmmm, so he cares about you, and he bakes your favourite bread."

"You love teasing me, don't you?" You wince.

"Sis, I am serious. Jaehyun seems like a good guy, at least I think you guy can be a very good friend."

"Ok ok, stop it. He will get back here soon."

Jaehyun soon is back with two plates. He carefully puts them down on the table and then accuses to back to work since customer is coming more and more. You cut the bread, the scrunchy sound is perfect, and its smell is definitely a blessing to your soul. You love the bakery; you love good coffee, and you love a peaceful morning spent with your close friends.

Before leaving, you and Jungwoo decide to buy some more sweet treats, and of course can't forget the sourdough bread for Jungwoo's mom. Jaehyun insists he wants to pack all by himself. The cashier couldn't help but let his boss do his job.

Jungwoo goes back home quick, just to give his mom the freshly baked bread. He also helps you leave your pack inside a refrigerator. Today you and him have an important thing that needs to be done, which is helping Jungwoo buy a gift for Ahreum. He has a movie date with Ahreum today evening and your friend wants to give her a small gift. You found it really lovely.

You get back home at 2pm after having lunch. Jungwoo is having his first date and you feel so happy for him. At the same time, you can't help but think when you will be able to find yourself a lover.

You open the refrigerator and see the paper bag from Jung bakery. Jung Jaehyun really knows how to make small surprises. Besides what you bought earlier, you find another extra cookie, and a note says that "Dark chocolate fill with Salted Caramel. I'm testing this new recipe and I want you to be the first one who taste it ^.^"

The smile spread across your lips when you read his note. Cute. But Jaehyun is not only knows how to make small surprise, but he also knows how to give you a big one. Another note falls out of the bag when you try to take out the lime roll cake.

"Y/N, do you want to go out and watch a movie with me tonight? This is my phone number, text me if you have some spare time and if you feel comfortable enough."

- Jaehyun -

Your mouth forms a slight O and you keep reading his message again and again. You walk back and forth in the living room for at least half an hour. Do you have free time tonight? Yes, you already finished all the tasks and tonight is a Sunday night. Do you feel happy? Yes, in fact. Do you want to go out with him? Yes.

Jaehyun is a definition of what you all ever imagine about a prince charming. The only thing that is preventing you is your scaredy-cat soul.

You get the phone from your pocket and unhesitant text Jaehyun. Well, go big or go home. Why do you have to reject him just because you feel insecure that things might not work?

The guests are still coming but Jaehyun is not that busy. His bakery always closes sooner every Sunday as the way he treats himself, and his co-worker, so that they have full energy for the whole new week. He puts the glove down right when he feels his phone vibrating inside the apron's pocket.

"YES!" His voice echoes inside the kitchen and makes everyone turn around and look at him.

"You must receive some good news." One of the bakers asks him.

"I was wondering the same thing. He looked anxious the whole day." Another baker adds.

"Nothing guys." Jaehyun says nothing but his ears are red. His eyes are sparkling. His hand keeps scratching the back of his neck. And he couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. Everyone can clearly see that he is very happy.

Jaehyun takes a glance at his watch. It is almost 4 p.m. The bakery is about to close. He quickly cleans things in the kitchen so that he can return home right when the bakery closes and prepare to hang out with you tonight.

4.03 pm

Jaehyun turns the sign to CLOSE. The cashier just left a few secs ago. Jaehyun looks at the kitchen and main room once again before getting his backpack and locks the bakery's door carefully.

He passes by the flower shop on his way home. He chooses a small bouquet of pink tulips. It catches his eye right when he steps into the shop, he thinks it is perfect for you, with those pink soft petals and green leaves. If he must choose one color to describe you, it'd be pink. Lovely, bright and full of charm.

After paying, he quickly returns home to take a shower. He is going to have the first date with you tonight, at 5.30 pm. First date.

His voice can be heard inside the bathroom. Jaehyun has a warm voice, but he rarely sings. Normally he is too focused on baking to sing. But the happy feeling makes him want to sing today.

Jaehyun chooses a loose white T-shirt, along with a pair of jeans and a leather belt. Casual. He already decided which perfume he is going to use tonight. He then looks at his reflection in the mirror and takes a deep breath. Nervous but excited, especially when the time to his date is near.

5.20 pm

Jaehyun is already standing on the first floor of your apartment and patiently waiting for you. He holds the tulip bouquet in his hand and walks back and forth slowly. You can see him from far away. How can he look so good even with just a simple loose white T-shirt? Your heart skips so many beats as you come closer to him.

His eyes meet yours and he welcomes you with the most beautiful smile you think you have ever seen.

"Hi Jaehyun." You shyly say in a tiny voice.

"Hi Y/N, I bought this for you."

"I love it, thanks. I really like flowers, and the pink color."

A big smile appears on Jaehyun's face. So, you like pink. He got the color right; he is having a good start.

"You look beautiful today, shall we get going?"

----------------------

You are now sitting on Jaehyun's car with the bouquet on your thigh. He turns on the radio and the familiar melody fills the place.

"I see the light." You slightly nod your head, approve of his song's choice.

"Do you like Disney?" Jaehyun takes a glance at you from his driver seat, sheepishly asks.

"I do. I am a huge fan of Disney." You giggle and that makes Jaehyun feel relief. One more thing to take note of you.

"Where are we going?"

"I know a very cozy restaurant with delicious food. Is there anything you can't eat?"

"No, I am not allergic to anything. You?"

"Me either. My favourite food is spicy pork. What about you?"

"I like many things, but my mom's sweet and sour pork rib is the best."

Things are flowing well. You and he can't stop with small talk on the way to the restaurant. Jaehyun is a gentleman, and he is so down-to-earth person. He knows how to make you feel comfortable. He shows his good manners. He is super funny, much funnier than you thought. And he shares similar tastes with you on so many things. He makes you feel like you have known him for a long time, not just a week.

"What movie do you want to watch?" You ask him when you both stand in front of those movie posters inside a cinema theatre.

"Lady first, what movie do you want to choose?" He gestures to you to pick.

"Should we say it at the same time? I already had my pick."

"Funny, ok I'm on it."

"Ready! 1, 2, 3. Elementals."

You both say it at the same time and laugh.

"You choose it because I played I see the light on the car or because of your love with Disney movie?" Jaehyun asks.

"Both. I prefer animation, comedy, romance, kinda like that. Not scary and horror movies. Besides, this one has good reviews, and you like Disney too so I think it's a good choice for both of us."

"Nice. I watched its trailer, it seems interesting. Let's go. I'll buy a ticket."

"Then let me buy popcorn and drink." You offer.

"Deal." Jaehyun nods after a few seconds. He then turns to face you and speaks. "But next time please let me pay for it. I am the one who asked you to go out with me."

"So, it's mean we will have the second date?" You say in a super tiny voice.

Jaehyun quirks his eyebrows. He lowers his head to look at you closer. "What did you say?"

Your eyes met his. He has such beautiful eyes. Why does he look so perfect? Your heart skips so many beats and you think if he gets even closer, he will be able to hear it.

"Huh, nothing. Let's get in line." You blink your eyes and turn around to get into the line. Jaehyun is smiling behind you at how adorable you act.

Your first date with him is coming to an end. You're waiting for Jaehyun in front of the theatre while he is getting his car. Jaehyun's jacket has a warm and sweet smell, something like vanilla. It feels like him, warm and sweet.

His car stops and there is Jaehyun, running out to open the car door for you to hop in. He mumbles "careful" while keeping his hand above your head.

"I turned on the heater, let me know if you still feel cold."

"It is warm now, thanks Jaehyun. Do you mind if I play some music?"

"No, not at all. How about you choose the music this time?" Jaehyun smiles and takes a glance at you. "I'd like to know your favourite song."

"Alright. It's not Disney though. But I promise it is good."

During the drive back home, Jaehyun shares with you his decision of opening his own bakery. It was not easy at all, but he is lucky that his parents are his biggest supporter. You talk about your dream of becoming a good doctor. That's why you chose this course but now you're a bit struggling.

"You shouldn't force yourself too much." Jaehyun says. "You're not simply studying, you're acquiring it, and because it is needed to help people, which you want to do, right? I always tried to think about that during my course, to make the lessons less boring." He grins.

"You used to feel boring during your classes?" You surprise. "I know chefs also have to learn both theory and practice. But isn't it should be more interesting when you have more chance to practice?"

"Yup, but not when you have to learn how to cut onion again and again."

You laugh at Jaehyun's story. You totally agree with him. Helping people is what you want to do, helping people makes you happy and that is your biggest motivation to do the best on this course.

As the car enters the parking lot, you start to feel sad and disappoint a bit. This is the best first date ever and Jaehyun is much more charming than you thought he could be. He opens the door for you and you both walk together back to your home.

The weather is very nice. You take a deep breath to enjoy the fresh air. There are moments when Jaehyun's hand slightly brushes your hand but you both do nothing. He then breaks the silence first.

"May I ask how long have you known Jungwoo? I know you too are best friend, seems like you both know each other for a very long time."

"I have known him my whole life." You grin. "Our parents are good friends too and they are neighbors. Then me and Jungwoo were born in the same year, amazing, isn't it." You turn to face him. "He is my childhood friend, my best friend, and sometimes like my big brother since I am an only child."

"It's amazing. Good to hear that you have a very good friend that always stays by your side." Jaehyun nods.

"I know. I think I am very lucky to have him as a friend. Do you have many close friends?"

"I do, I have some close friends, but not too many. Most of them are my classmates during high school. It was a good old time. We play games together, play basketball together. They visit my bakery quite often. I hope I can introduce them to you. They're all good guys I promise." Jaehyun puts his hand on the sky. His dimple is showing again, and he makes you laugh at his adorable dork side.

"Well then I'd like to meet them too."

You can see your apartment building now. It is time to bid goodbye.

"Do you have class tomorrow?" Jaehyun asks.

"Yeah, I do have one class in the early morning, and a team meeting in the afternoon. You will close the bakery tomorrow, right?

He nods. "Yes, do you want to visit the bakery tomorrow after you are done with the meeting? I was practicing the new recipe and it'd be great if you can help me with the taste." He scratches the back of his neck.

"I will. I'd love to do that Jaehyun." The smile spreads across your lip. "I will see you tomorrow then."

"I have a super fun day, thank you Y/N. Goodnight!"

"Me either. Wish you have a good dream." You wave your hand and slowly go toward your apartment. "Get safe, text me when you get back home."

Jaehyun nods and raises his hand waving at you too. He still stands there for a few more minutes until he no longer sees your figure. He walks back to his home, sometimes skipping on the street and the smile is non-stop appears on his handsome face. Today he has a chance to talk more with you, to know more about you. You have dimples, not very clearly but he can show it whenever you tighten your lips. He couldn't wait until he could see you again tomorrow.

_______________________

One missed call from Jungwoo and two new messages unread right when you finished showering. He seems very excited and can't wait to tell you about his first date with Ahreum.

"Bro, I just got back home half an hour ago. How was your first date?" Your voice echoes through the phone.

"I had an amazing day today. She is so sweet, and you know what, we will have the second date next week."

You can even hear the happiness in Jungwoo's voice. "I'm so happy for you Jungwoo. Let me guess, you are non-stop smiling on the bed right now. Are you sure you can sleep well tonight?"

"If I dream about her."

"Eww cheesy."

"But you, Y/N, I just realized it is almost 10. Where did you go, may I ask, my best friend?"

"I went to a cinema and watched Elementals."

"With?"

You roll your eyes before answering Jungwoo. "Jaehyun"

"Ok...What? You hang out with Jaehyun?"

"Calm down, you are going to wake up all the neighbors. I can even hear your voice from my apartment."

"Now that's too much sis. But seriously, you too watched a movie together? Is that a date?" His mischievous laugh could be hear clearly.

"Is that?"

"I'm asking you."

"Yes, it is, it is a date. You happy now? Jaehyun is so nice, Jungwoo. He is much more charming than I have ever thought, than we have ever thought. He is such a gentleman, and he takes good care of me today. I truly think this is my best first date."

"While I am seriously thinking that I should talk with him more. To see how he is able to win my best friend's heart in such a short time. But you sound happy Y/N."

"Do not scare him, what if he run away?"

Jungwoo laughs hard. "How can I? Besides, he won't do that. From what I saw earlier, he is so whipped for you. Finally, you are no longer single."

"Hey that's too fast, we haven't done anything yet. I have to dry my hair now. Sleep and I hope you dream about your princess tonight."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight."

_________________________

Monday is always a tough day. But today is different. The early morning class wasn't that hard. The meeting went well. Even the strict professor didn't give your class extra homework. And you are going to meet Jaehyun. Perfect.

The bakery's sign is close; but the room is bright as usual. Jaehyun is waiting for you on the waiting bench inside. You pop your head round the door and show him the bright smile.

"Good evening."

"Hi, you really came." Jaehyun instantly stands up.

"Of course I am. I had a great day today. Everything went well. How was your day Jaehyun?"

"Great, it's good seeing you happy like that. You know, I just visited the local market, look what I bought." Jaehyun shows you the package and you can immediately recognize it.

"Hot tteok?"

"Well, it is no longer hot but yeah. Do you like it?"

"Yes. When I was a little kid, my mom usually bought it for me when she went to the local market. Part of the childhood." You shrug.

"Do you want to visit my workplace?"

"Isn't this place?"

"I mean the kitchen." He laughs. "I barely stay in the main room. Come on, let me show you."

You follow him. The kitchen and the main room are just separated by a door and a small lobby. The kitchen, surprisingly, doesn't look like those kitchens you always see in the movie. It is much more interesting than that.

"You have a kitchen bar?"

"Surprise!" Jaehyun spreads his arms and turns around looking at you with a proud face. "This is where I spend most of time, so I don't want it just simply a kitchen. There is a storage room, and an office room over there for everyone to rest too."

"This is amazing. You are amazing Jaehyun."

You are busy scanning around, while Jaehyun's eyes are focusing on you. Your face fills with awe and he thinks that is really cute.

"Thank you! Oh my God I'm sorry, you must be hungry. I forgot that I should heat up the cake for you first."

"No need to rush, I'm good." You smile gently. "You must put a lot of effort into this. Your workspace is so cool."

"I don't think I can handle it all without the help from my family and my friends. I really appreciate their help. Happy to hear that you love it."

You sit down at one of the chairs in front of his kitchen bar. Looking at Jaehyun, who is heating up the cake, you finally understand why people say that hard-working men are attractive. You cannot stop yourself from smiling.

"You want to try something new?" He turns around. His dimple shows up and you feel your heart beating faster again.

"What new?"

"I will show you..." He nods his head at the ting sound of the microwave. "After we eat the tteok."

________________________

"Y/N, have you ever wondered why I only have freshly baked Pain Au Chocolat on Wednesday and Sunday?" Jaehyun asks. He takes something out of the refrigerator.

"I know nothing about baking." You grin. "But I used to tell Jungwoo that I was actually satisfied with the fact that Jung Bakery doesn't provide it daily. Wednesday is the toughest day and Sunday is the rest day of the week for me. I need extra happiness on those days."

Jaehyun laughs. In front of you now is dough, and two bakery rollers.

"Good things take time." He smiles. "My teacher said Making croissants is a project. It needs time to rest, to develop all the layers. It doesn't mean we can't make it daily, there are lots of recipes that allow you to do that. But I strongly agree with you that we need extra happiness on Wednesday and Sunday, that's also a reason why I have more sweet treats on the menu those days. And 10% off on Monday." He winks.

You both share a look before laughing. "So, I didn't say nonsense things. What is the new thing that you ask me to try?"

"Do you want to make a pain au chocolat yourself?"

"Like how?"

"Here, let me show you."

You come and stand beside him. Even though this is not the first time you stand too close next to him, you still can't stop yourself from, firstly, distracting, and secondly, nervous. The height gap, his perfume, his face, everything about him makes your heart flutter.

"You should roll the dough like this until..." Jaehyun keeps talking but you can only catch some of the words. Sometimes you think you are lucky that he isn't your professor's TA or kind of like that because you will definitely become a nonprofessional person if you work with him.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah? Oh, I'm so sorry, I was spaced out a bit. Can you please repeat the move?"

Instead of explaining again, Jaehyun steps behind you and wraps his arms around you. You feel like your heart stops beating for 1 second. He is so close that you can even feel his hot breath on your skin.

He holds your hand and rolls the dough with you. "There."

The process is quite interesting, but you are too distracted by Jaehyun. You turn your head to look at him, but his face is now so close to you.

"Y/N." He calls your name again. His voice is so warm. His eyes are so beautiful. He looks beautiful.

You lean in and kiss him, a light kiss on his plump lips. You both looking at each other. Jaehyun doesn't look so surprised at your action. The next thing he does surprises you more. He wraps his hand around your waist, pulls you closer and kisses you back.

"I really like you Y/N." Jaehyun breaks out into a huge smile. "From the first time I saw you, I already wished that I had a chance to meet you again. I want to see you more; I want to be with you_"

You hug him. "Me too." You chuckle. "Things I love the most today is meeting you.”

“How would you feel about going out on a date with me tomorrow?” He asks, his eyes soften.

"I'd love to. You always know how to give me surprise Jaehyun.”

“I did?”

“Yes. What are we going to do tomorrow?”

“I’m thinking of Disney movie marathon but let save it for the weekend. Since you said I know how to give you surprises, it is a secret now.” He laughs.

“As long as there is you.” You smile.

#fanfic #fic #fluff #senarios #nct #jaehyun #jaehyunfic #stories

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lola-monster · 21 days

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I was tagged by @b0ytron! Sorry I'm just getting to this, I keep putting it off??? 😬

(also wtf happened to the desktop layout, it looks UGLY)

Last song: sweet ★ honey ★ buckiin' by Beyoncé 😎

Favorite Color: Omg, it's just like a Quizilla quiz from 2007 <3 Jokes aside, it's green lol.

Currently watching: Fuck, I have no idea? Last thing I watched for sure was Smiling Friends. But my husband and I started Dragon Ball a few weeks ago and haven't continued lmao. We picked Bob's Burgers back up a few weeks ago, too but also haven't continued.

I think the last time I did this, my husband and I were in the middle of watching a bunch of Futurama, but we stopped around season 3 or 4?? I can't remember lmao. We also keep saying we're going to watch Shameless, but haven't gotten around to it.

As for movies, the last movie I watched was This is 40. I feel bad because I haven't watched nearly as many movies this year than I did last year around this time?? I keep saying I'm going to sit down and finally watch Poor Things, but I keep putting it off 🫠

Sweet/savory/spicy: Savorrryyyy. But also spicy, too.

Relationship status: Been married for a little over four years 🤓 It'll be five in October!

Current obsession: CHAPPELL ROAN!!! Seriously, I love her so so much right now. I don't think I've been so excited for a pop artist since like, high school when Lady Gaga first came out and was everywhere. But I love Chappell's sound and her aesthetic so much, and I love how fun and openly queer her music is.

Also Lisa Frankenstein, hahahha. It's really funny how big of an overlap there is with fans of Chappell and Lisa Frankenstein, it cracks me up.

This isn't much of an obsession, but I'm trying to get back into reading and writing more. Last year in October, I sat down and wrote an outline for an idea I've had for forever, but once that was done, I pulled another idea out that's been on my mind, and I've been trying to develop it.

My biggest hurdle when it comes to writing is I often get stuck when it comes to plot. I'll have a basic idea, but then I struggle to actually think of a plot structure or where to take the idea. It was easy for the first idea that I outlined bc at it's core, it's just a slasher horror story with supernatural elements. It's a pretty basic formula to follow and there's room to add your own flair.

ALSO, I'm stuck when it comes to storytelling mediums. Do I write it as a movie, TV show, book, or comic? The problem is I want to do everything lmao. I'm ✨indecisive✨ iwsudjhfjsdjc *sobs*

Last thing you googled: "Kitty Pryde" bc I'm very out of the loop with X-Men shenanigans (I need to watch X-Men '97 lol) and I wanted to know when they started referring to her as "Kate" in the comics. I'm sure it's been a thing for a while, but I haven't really paid any attention to the comics in forever bc I got out of collecting as a hobby.

I wish I knew when I set my icon here to Kitty. It has to be over ten years at this point. It's a part of me lol

I don't have anyone to tag, so feel free to use these questions for your own post 🤓

#thank you for the tag!!

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greenlikethesea · 8 months

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i believe i was tagged by @bienmoreau so time ago, let's do this!

appearance:

i’m over 5’5” //i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings// i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas (i literally don't care about either) // i wear baseball hats backwards

hobbies + talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition// i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

relationships:

i am in a relationship (casually messing around and not taking it seriously) // i have been single for over a year (define single?)// i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days//i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths //autumn is my favourite season

miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift //i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

i tag whoever wants to do it!

#tag game

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bayofwolves · 9 months

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wild born reread

LET’S GO!!! i’m so excited to dive back into this series, it’s been long enough that i’ve forgotten a lot of the details so it’ll be like discovering it anew! and i will be documenting my thoughts here for science :)

first of all, these covers are seriously epic. i still think they’re the best covers i’ve seen for any children’s book, and i’ve seen a lot in my time. they’re just so good. they could’ve been a little more consistent with the appearances of some characters, but they’re set up so dramatically that i can’t really complain.

ah yes, the vignettes on the inside covers. love em.

the map of erdas is wonderful too. even if it’s so obviously meant to mirror earth.

chapter 1 — briggan

holy shit poor conor 😭 imagine having to be a servant to pay off your dad’s debt like TALK ABOUT UNFAIR

AND HE HAS TO DO THIS FOR AT LEAST THREE YEARS? HOW MUCH DOES THIS GUY OWE?

“milord” oh he’s so irish

“conor keeps napping” never fails to make me giggle. devin may be an ass but at least he’s funny

apparently it runs in the family cuz dawson’s even funnier. i wonder what daphne’s like.

how old is dawson? probably only about a year younger than devin and conor considering he summoned rumfuss in fall of the beasts pt 1 but i always pictured him as like, 8 or 9 here

oh devin’s a straight up bully

conor has TEN DOGS? lemme meet this guy

not devin calling nothing 😭 the way i got secondhand embarrassment

“would officially mark the end of his childhood” aren’t these kids like 11? i think 13 would be a more reasonable age to put them at, if they wanna talk about childhood being over. or maybe humans on erdas grow/mature faster than humans on earth? hmmm

BRIGGAN’S HERE!

ohhh so tarik and isilla knew briggan was gonna appear that day... did they know which of the three kids would summon him or naw?

poor conor omg. he summons a spirit animal, of a species that he has traumatic memories associated with, AND it’s a long-dead great beast, and before he can properly process all of this he’s just. sprung upon by tarik. 😭😭

i love tarik tho. yay! tarik!

chapter 2 — uraza

INTRODUCING: MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER!!!!

abeke i missed you so much

i love how she shows respect for the animal she hunted.

soama is only 12?? i always got the sense she was older than that. like 14-15 in this book. i’m gonna keep imagining that.

abeke with the dry humour. (literally)

“but [she] had long ago lost the contest of beauty to her sister...” what. the contest of what? why is there a... this is.. unless it’s a metaphorrrrrr...? yknow what never mind

abeke gets her height from her father i’m sure! i like to think soama is really tall too. tall fam.

poor abeke wtf. like pojalo dude you taught her to hunt. what a loser. she did nothing wrong!

i want to give her a hug

ABEKE’S MOM MENTION... i wish we knew more about her. “[she] had never been strong, and had been taken by sickness” this is interesting when you consider the meaning of abeke’s name, ‘we begged for her’. obviously this could be a reference to things that happened later in abeke’s life, like her being a rain dancer and ending the drought. BUT. i think it’s also possible abeke’s mom didn’t know if she’d be able to have another child due to her constant frailness, despite wanting one dearly. maybe the pregnancy or the birth was difficult. but then she had abeke! and maybe that’s why she named her that!

abeke i need to get you outta this village. honey you’re comin with me.

my long-time headcanon is that chinwe is abeke’s aunt, the sister of her mom. (that makes abeke and irtike cousins!) maybe the root and nut soup is a traditional family thing for abeke’s maternal side, and chinwe like... sprinkled some stuff from the recipe into the nectar 😭 as a treat.

URAZA’S HERE!

in hindsight of tales of the great beasts, it’s interesting how affectionate uraza is with abeke. immediately too. as a real great beast, she looked on humans with heavy disdain. she took her sweet time warming up to tembo. so what’s with the nuzzling right from the get-go? shouldn’t she be... confused? and cold when she realizes what’s happening? i think that would’ve been an interesting route to take tbh.

maybe she only has respect and love for black women. honestly same, girl.

OR maybe, just maybe, abeke is descended from tembo and uraza somehow knows this. that would be cute. “oh you’re a descendant of my favourite little human. i like you.”

if i was writing this book i would make uraza take a little while to get comfortable with abeke, and especially being abeke’s spirit animal. great beast uraza would be utterly disturbed at the thought of being someone’s spirit animal, i’m sure. but once uraza realized how chill and respectful abeke is (so like... by the time they’re on the ship and training with shane) she’d start warming up. she’d probably still be the first of the four fallen to go into passive state. bc uraza knows abeke’s just that cool.

“the village suddenly seemed... confining. she needed to get away!” i know this is just bc she has leopard brain for a fraction of a second, but damn. i’m seeing a second meaning there.

RAIN DANCER!!!

how is pojalo still mad. holy shit. i do not like this man. show some gratitude. have some pride in your daughter. she ended a fucking drought at age 11 AND WHAT HAS SOAMA DONE???

“the rain is making up for lost time” KYS

“in good ways and bad, you have always been different... will your beast bring good or evil upon you? upon us?” oh my god shut up. i can’t tell if he’s got some issues with the great beasts themselves or if he’s just determined to be horrible to abeke.

zerif...

soama calling uraza an ‘it’ 😭 have some respect god damn? i’m starting to think maybe this family doesn’t like the great beasts very much? or maybe they don’t even believe in them?

so pojalo’s just okay with shipping his 11 year old daughter off somewhere. with a strange adult man. WHAT THE FUCK! is he stupid?

i suppose they were speaking their native language for most of this, up until they met zerif. then they switched to common. although i wouldn’t be surprised if zerif could speak their language too... he probably knows a lot of languages.

i think the same would be true for the other kids. (including conor; i believe eurans have their own languages too, like welsh and gaelic. stetriolans as well, i suppose. common isn’t a historically white person thing, it’s always been a means of worldwide communication. it isn’t even comparable to english.)

chapter 3 — jhi

meilin !!

i like how different regions have different beliefs about bonding. in eura, conor says the first person to drink the nectar of ninani has the best chance of summoning an animal. in zhong, meilin says the last person to drink has the best chance. neat. i wonder who’s right! maybe no one... or maybe meilin, bc conor was last to drink and called briggan.

i wanna know what meilin’s mom’s spirit animal was.

holy shit all of meilin’s grandparents and great-grandparents had spirit animals??? literally her whole family?? except teng?? if i was him i’d never show my face.

INVASION?

umm yenni... three years older ? ... imma need you to step back.

thank god he was never even mentioned again LOL

“but her favourite pastime was hand-to-hand combat” OHHH SHE’S BADASS

interesting how snow leopards can presumably be spirit animals, but not african (well, niloan) leopards, thanks to uraza. i guess subspecies are safe? does that mean you can call african (niloan) elephants? since dinesh is presumably an asian (zhongese) elephant?

oh, clouded leopards can be summoned too! sheyu has one!

(about lenori) “the feathers in her hair gave her away as an amayan” is this confirmation that amayans are meant to mirror native people?

SHIT IT’S THE BILE!

“a jade decanter” first bit of foreshadowing right there... cuz i’m pretty sure gerathon’s talisman is made of jade

ALSO IM CONFUSED. was sheyu in on this? the plot to give meilin the bile? or did he not even know the liquid wasn’t the nectar? how did the bile even end up in that decanter? who put it there? i have Questions.

JHI’S HERE!

“meilin has fulfilled a prophecy that most have forgotten” apparently i’m one of them because i don’t remember this prophecy? who gave it and when? what was the exact wording of it? was it tellun’s words to essix in tales of the great beasts, right before she died? maybe tellun delivered the prophecy to the first greencloaks that the four fallen would one day rise again and be bonded to humans.

meilin is amazingly composed for an 11 year old.

imagine being jhi 😭 ur killed and then u wake up right back in the middle of a battle 😭😭

omg they invented the elevator.

“the devourer was a legend from the past, a monster in nursery stories” okay so i think my estimate of the first devourer war being a thousand years ago is accurate.

wow. poor meilin :(

chapter 4 — essix

ROLLAN I LOVE YOU!!! he’s def one of my favourite characters.

how did this kid end up with a name like digger tho 😭

“amaya was a young continent” interesting. this must have been retconned bc amaya has been around for literally forever but anyway

“[smarty’s] nickname was a joke, not a compliment” DAMN.

okay so he’s really goin to jail for tryna save a kid’s life. amazing. how can they just throw an 11 year old in there anyway?

never mind, a 12 year old! so rollan really is a year older than the other three! i didn’t remember him being 12 the very next month lol.

“actually i’m a lost prince. if you take me back to eura, my father will reward you.” this guy is a RIOT

i admire rollan for being able to be outrageously funny while sitting behind bars.

i think it’s really interesting how all marked people are expected to become greencloaks, and the ones who don’t are regarded as anomalies. i think this got retconned further down the line because i remember a large amount of marked people in the later books who had no allegiance.

tbh none of the four had very good nectar ceremonies really... i think meilin was the only one who might have enjoyed hers to some degree. but then she was given the bile and war broke out. so yeah, none of the four got a good nectar ceremony.

and yet they all summoned great beasts!

rollan loves sweetened cinnamon toast. storing this information in my brain.

ESSIX’S HERE!

zerif appearance... this can only mean shit’s about to go down

“duke zerif”?? fuck outta here bro

i love how rollan is so nonchalant about summoning a spirit animal.

i wonder what happened to the greencloak girl. did zerif kill her? it feels implied but i hope she got away somehow.

WONDER WHAT WOULD’VE WENT DOWN IF ROLLAN WENT WITH ZERIF.... au where the four fallen are divided, conor and meilin spearheading the greencloak force and abeke and rollan spearheading the conqueror force. them fighting each other. abeke never switching sides. enemies-and-lovers reilin. oughhj

headcanon: rollan is the best sprinter of the four. if he can hold his own against a jackal, he’s gotta be really fast. abeke’s second fastest (rollan would only beat her in a race by like a second) but she’s more of an endurance gal.

olvan’s appearance is so random and chaotic LOL.

chapter 5 — training

abeke chapter yippee! hey girl!

SHANE TIME!!!!!!!!! i love shane. second favourite character since 2015.

in wild born abeke says he’s 12, but in the book of shane: venom he states he’s just turned 13 or something. and that was before he even met abeke. was this a mistake or did he lie about his age? if so, why lie about that? but yeah i consider him to be two years older than the four (minus rollan who is 12).

“he was pale, but handsome” i love this. abeke thinks being white is a disadvantage. me too, girl.

“i had to leave my parents too” that’s a lie because they’ve both BEEN dead for some time iirc...

i think it would be awesome if uraza could understand abeke’s native language as well as common. i’m certain she does but i wanna see it confirmed. maybe she knows many niloan languages and dialects.

“when she was a great beast, uraza was larger than a horse” actually she was the size of balerion the dread, THANK YOU! gawd. i wish they made the great beasts really massive, not just two or three times the size of the average animal of their species.

spirit animals always arrive as adults yada yada okay fine. but in MY personal opinion i wish they arrived in the prepubescent/early teen stage that their human partners are when they summon them. like wouldn’t that make more sense?? and then human and animal would grow together. (it’d be different for the great beasts, tho, of course.)

i love the little hints and suggestions sprinkled throughout the series that someday the four fallen will grow and regain their former glory.

aww uraza likes abeke.

i would have loved to see abeke using a spear in battle. she says she’s used one before! how badass would it be to see abeke taking somebody the fuck OUT by hurling a spear at them? headcanon: abeke’s impressive aim that she canonically has while using a bow transfers over to other things, so she’d have great aim with a spear too. ALSO. IN MY HEAD ABEKE IS A TEMBO DESCENDANT. AND TEMBO WAS GREAT WITH A SPEAR. SO GREAT THAT HE KILLED FELIANDOR WITH ONE.

from the way abeke’s talking, shane must be kind of a big guy. she’s saying she’d never beat him in an open confrontation, yet shane is always described as lean, not beefy. maybe he’s just... tall? but abeke’s tall. maybe he’s... really tall?

oh i love their dynamic already. my babies.

not the assassin interrupting abeke’s stalking omg r u srs. SHE WOULD’VE BEATEN SHANE’S ASS!

why would the assassin go for shane tho? he’s nobody important, or at least he’s not supposed to be. is this an allusion to shane’s greater role, that someone would try to assassinate him...? if so, that’s really fucking cool and i never thought of that before.

OMG SHE WAS ABOUT TO KILL THE GUY??? these 11 year olds are savage

ngl what shane did was kind of a good training technique but i can understand why abeke would be mad.

URAZA AND ABEKE WERE THE FIRST TO MASTER THE PASSIVE STATE 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

chapter 6 — sunset tower

the... sipimiss . river.. ? oh they’re not even trying.

ROLLAN-CONOR-MEILIN MEETUP!

tarik is back!!! why do i not remember him being described as “grim” and “the sort of stranger rollan would have avoided on the streets of concorba”? i always pictured tarik looking like a warm, open, honest guy. wow. this actually shakes my whole world up.

the way they started out being awkward with each other omfg. crazy.

“you got me. i’m actually olvan’s son. he’s having me spy on you.” rollan has The best lines.

oh meilin is not a greencloak yet? i remembered her and conor both wearing the green by the time they met up with rollan. so conor was actually the first of the four to become a greencloak.

someone needs to draw rollan, conor and meilin over that one meme with the three wolves where two of them are laughing and the third is looking disappointed. because that’s them rn.

i like the subtle hints that meilin and jhi’s bond is unnatural. like when meilin calls jhi into passive state, it’s instant.

OH ROLLAN’S RUNNING AWAY !

his reasons make sense honestly.

rollan calling briggan an ‘it’ too? huh.

this confrontation has proved that conor is smart as fuck LMAO.

ohh rollan doesn’t believe his spirit animal is really essix. or maybe he doesn’t believe essix ever really existed. veryy interesting!

chapter 7 — teamwork

i think the greencloaks are a little fucked up for expecting these 11 year old children to be their champions, but oh well. i love the greencloaks, just ...

OH i forgot conor can’t read at this point, how did i forget that??

“are we going to fight to the death?” LMAO

MEILIN IS SO SALTY 😭

meilin confirmed shortest of the four!

ah yes the famous reilin banter. love it.

conor getting a burst of speed from briggan omg. cool scene.

rollan is right tho, they should’ve been warned about the bag. ouch . poor conor. i changed my mind, fuck the greencloaks.

LUMEO!!

tarik is soo badass. i love him down.

“you three have no idea how vital you are. we have to use you correctly.” i know i just said i love tarik but i’m getting a bad feeling about this... tarik please see sense, these are children. kids. itty bitty babies.

poor jhi :(

chapter 8 — the island

ABEKE AND SHANE CHAPTER!!! girl dinner honestly.

the mention of a “large yellow moon” and the size of the moon on broken ground’s cover makes me wonder if erdas’s moon[s] are bigger or closer than ours.

first mention of whale-towed ships!!! i love the whales and i love how that’s something unique to erdas.

also i don’t remember all this detail when i read this chapter before, wow.

nooo not the bile-enhanced animals :(

they lost the parrot... does that mean there’s i a bile-transformed demon parrot on the loose somewhere? or did it get away before they fed it the bile?

oh never mind, the screaming abeke heard was from the first rat. so the escaped parrot is probably normal. i still think it’d be cool if there were bile-enhanced monster animals, escaped experiments, lurking in erdas’s wildernesses.

URAZA SAVING ABEKE’S LIFE OHHH IM SO HERE FOR IT. she loves that girl down!

i forgot the bile animals shrink back to normal size after dying.

of course shane saves the day.

“do you think i’d let you roam the jungle alone at night?” he’s already obsessed with her it’s so over.

i wonder who those guys actually were tho. were they conquerors? or was shane telling the truth?

chapter 9 — vision

LENORI ! love her

“he wondered if she could read his mind” conor is so silly (lenori can totally read minds)

conor is literally a prophet.

i wish briggan’s titles (packleader, moonrunner, pathfinder) were used more. they’re great. i wonder if any of the other great beasts have similar titles.

i love how lenori is a great seer yet seems to be an uncomfortable person to be around, despite her gentle demeanour. beautiful but unsettling women >>>

great beasts lore!

OH SO I WAS RIGHT? ROLLAN DIDN’T BELIEVE IN THE GREAT BEASTS UNTIL ESSIX?

“whether we’re up against the same devourer who leveled much of erdas long ago...” how would that work? does olvan believe the guy somehow rose from the dead?

SPIES? there are greencloak spies among the conquerors’ ranks? i guess that’s to be expected, but... NEAT!

i completely forgot that the talismans are only able to be accessed by the marked. so for example, after losing grahv, shane wouldn’t be able to use a talisman.

rollan is raising some valid concerns.

anddddd now they’re gonna send children into the wild to possibly be killed or eaten by gigantic beasts. lovely.

chapter 10 — dream

“are you jhi?” no, meilin, it’s some other talking panda.

OOH JHI HAS TITLES TOO! peacefinder and healthbringer!

creepy dream ngl.

so conor isn’t the only one of em to have climbed the battlements in his sleep 😭

“people adapted to new bonds in all sorts of bizarre ways. vivid nightmares... mood swings... panic attacks... even rashes. all sorts of side effects...” this just sounds like the bonding sickness. you’re tellin me that even with the nectar of ninani you can still be fucked up?

“jhi felt warm and perfect. meilin embraced her for a long time, sinking into her thick fur and enjoying her scent as never before.” that’s really cute.

chapter 11 — gar

abeke again!

she’s too masterful for shane to find her, i love it.

“shane blundered closer to her hiding spot” LOL

not shane rambling to her ab his ugly ass uncle and old ass tutor 😭 good lird

aww she really cares for him

i love when abeke is smug. she somehow manages to stay completely innocent while doing it.

it’s interesting how there’s always a “searing pain” when spirit animals go passive. could that be a clever tie-in to how real tattoos hurt when you get them inked? the marked never have to have an appointment with a tattoo artist to get the ink on their skin, but every time they call their animal into passive form, they feel the pain.

the guards bowed to shane... possible hint at his real identity?

i love how salties on erdas are bigger than salties on earth.

and here comes the manipulation...

wait why the fuck is zerif talking like he also hails from stetriol? “we were the first continent [the devourer] conquered...” “we were grateful when the greencloaks freed us...” “we had suffered under the tyranny of the devourer...” “only by hiding did any of us survive.” this has to be a lie. i’m pretty sure zerif is implied to be from like... southwestern zhong maybe. or northern nilo. i know he has no confirmed heritage and isn’t supposed to BUT? there’s no way he’s from stetriol? or is he?

“[my bonding] occurred without any nectar” he’s not actually lying!

not even gonna lie i don’t get why gar and zerif and everyone didn’t just tell it straight and admit to abeke that they were conquerors. they were manipulating the story perfectly. they already kinda got her believing the greencloaks were messed up, they could have easily added “the conquerors were the good guys and they lied to you” into the mix. don’t understand why they didn’t take the final step. abeke having been an actual conqueror and knowing it would’ve made for a very interesting storyline indeed. (this is my canon)

DRINA MENTION!

abeke has such a pure heart. this poor dear. fuck everyone for taking advantage of her.

chapter 12 — boulder city

oh they’re on the road!

just a dad and his three kids on a little trip (that will hopefully not end in disaster)

OOOH THE GREENCLOAKS BREED HORSES !!

meilin has said her vows! go girl!

holy shit olvan’s gonna make rollan rich?

BUT HE DOESN’T GET THE MONEY IF HE SAYS THE VOWS? they should’ve done this the other way around.

“UNCIVILIZED”? MEILIN WATCH YOUR TONGUE?

tarik calmly but succinctly putting each of them in their place ohh what a king

are barlow and monte married genq

rollan always keeps knives in his boots CANON. maybe he keeps them in his clothes too, and can pull them out at a moment’s notice to throw at somebody. and his precision is terrifying.

oh god tarik’s gonna get into a bar fight isn’t he.

damn he’s a really severe-looking guy huh.

hey monte!

chapter 13 — barlow and monte

OH MONTE LITERALLY CALLS BARLOW HIS PARTNER? i was right. husbands.

they’re literally bear and otter coded idk what to tell you IS THIS AN INSTANCE OF THE AUTHORS TRYNA SLIP SOME VERY SUBTLE UNCONFIRMED LGBT STUFF IN cuz to my knowledge there’s no confirmed lgbt characters/relationships in this series... maybe they had problems with the publisher idk? so they had to keep it on the downlow?

barlow criticizing the greencloaks for essentially utilizing child soldiers is so, so real of him. the biggest problem i have with the greencloaks is exactly that.

“when will you people learn to leave kids alone? who first decided to dress them up and equip them like adults? who keeps the tradition alive?” BARLOW IS SPITTING STRAIGHT FACTS!

“don’t engage him” NO LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!

essix has a title too? ‘deepseer’ is mad cool.

“the greencloaks have always been too willing to prey on the young. we get talked into committing to something before we’ve figured out who we really are.” this hits home. i agree so much.

chapter 14 — ravens

damn they’ve spent weeks traveling? wtf are abeke and shane doing right at this very moment? and for all this time? they still on their way? they been on a ship this whole time? legend has it they still sailin 😭

barlow and monte’s dynamic >>>

conor and briggan’s bond >>>

NOT MEILIN GETTING IN THERE. like go queen but tarik could probably handle this just fine...

SHE WONNNNNN OH YEAH SHE WON

meilin is so cool.

chapter 15 — arax

“look, my terrible childhood is all i’ve got! don’t you dare try to top it.” iconic quote. that one’s going in the books.

i love conor and rollan’s relationship. they have some great moments, beginning all the way back in the first book.

headcanon: some places in erdas commonly get very large hail. unnaturally so, by earth standards. ooh ooh! or maybe arax’s presence enlarges it!

woah is this jhi’s first time demonstrating her healing powers? it’s such an everyday occurrence in the series that it’s strange to see the characters marveling at it.

arax!!!

i really wish the great beasts were bigger lol. when i first read this series, my kid brain glossed over the “twice as big as a horse” description in favour of a more colossal, balerion the dread mental image. i still stand by that.

i wonder, do the great beasts move their mouths when they speak? i imagine they don’t.

arax might be one of the coolest great beasts imo.

chapter 16 — arrivals

abeke and shane are here!

what exactly is sylva’s power that she’s just able to “find” the talisman like that? and how does a bat aid with that?

why are briggan and uraza growling at each other? do they not fully remember each other yet? i find that unlikely. are they communicating? maybe briggan is angry that uraza is with the conquerors. and uraza’s like... i’m doing it for Her.

meilin’s first fight! that’s gotta be monumental for her.

jhi’s ability to subdue/inspire devotion in other animals is really cool, shown several times but never talked about.

it’s really interesting how meilin is not one of those “honourable” fighters. from her outward demeanour, you might think she would be. but her seizing every opportunity is a testament to her intelligence LOL

meilin vs shane faceoff... we need more of these. i would love to see them duel again in a later arc, when meilin’s far more skilled than she is here. i think they’d be pretty evenly matched. well... before shane becomes crocodile superman.

chapter 17 — granite ram

“shane fought a zhongese girl who was putting up surprising resistance considering how young and small she looked.” meilin is literally your age, girl! and we get that you’re tall, but damn! maybe meilin has a baby face and is like 5′0. that’d be hilarious.

damnn so abeke would have just shot meilin if essix hadn’t interfered?

...abeke could tell all of that from one growl? she must really be a cat person.

her casually considering killing tarik is astonishing in hindsight.

abeke calling jhi an ‘it’ even after concluding that this was in fact jhi?? what’s going on around here

awww uraza and jhi reunion <3

ahh glimmers of rain dancer lore. sad that it was never actually relevant.

anddd abeke obtains the granite ram! i love the affinity and association she has with this talisman.

barlow’s last act was to save the life of this girl who was quite literally wearing the greencloaks’ objective. he just lost his spirit animal and he uses the last bit of strength jools gives him to save this enemy girl. wow. it really fits with barlow’s outlook that kids are too young to be fighting wars and dying in them. a child soldier is a child soldier; he’d still save the life of one fighting against him.

so abeke is the honourable fighter.

i always assumed shane was unconscious when zerif carried him away from the fight, but it just occurred to me that there’s nothing to suggest he was. i guess it’s the fact that he exchanged no words or even looks with abeke as they separated that made me think he was out cold lol. it’s strange how abeke doesn’t even think about what leaving shane means. would’ve been nice if they’d done something there. maybe shane just stares at her over zerif’s shoulder as he’s carried away, unbelieving and anguished. you could read it as his true feelings or a manipulation tactic bc god damn is he ever good at those.

abeke doesn’t seem to know the names of all of her conqueror comrades. huh. i personally think it would’ve worked in their favour to flesh them out as abeke’s friends and real people.

FIRST INSTANCE OF ABEKE TRYING TO SHOOT ZERIF OMG. they really should have let her be the one to end him lol

“jhi licked the girl, who wept openly.” wasn’t there a whole plot point in blood ties about meilin never crying, tho?

i would love to hear a folk song about barlow throwing arax off the cliff, like monte promised. or maybe see abeke tell the story of it to some eager kids. i imagine barlow’s death would impact abeke the most and she would always hold his memory close to her heart. like, on top of everything else, his sacrifice was what spurred her to leave the conquerors and join the greencloaks. that’s monumental.

i don’t think barlow or monte should have re-allied themselves with the greencloaks, tho. like... why would they?

oh also we should have seen uraza’s reaction to abeke joining the greencloaks. we’re missing shane and uraza’s reactions here.

and where did rollan go?

chapter 18 — the fallen

finally a conor chapter!

waittt... i may have discovered a plot hole. barlow is laid to rest wrapped in tarik’s cloak. but ??? tarik’s cloak passes to rollan in rise and fall. it’s mentioned how old and worn it is, so it can’t have been a cloak that tarik got to replace the one that barlow was buried in. so... hmm.

conor treating briggan like his superior is kind of great.

woo, abeke’s a greencloak now!!!

is conor crushing on meilin or isn’t he...

damn i wish that great respect rollan apparently has for abeke persisted past one book!

rumfuss time :)

chapter 19 — the return

this is basically an epilogue and i wish they’d called it that. the first chapters too -- they read like prologues.

who tf is this guy? it’s not shane, and it’s not zerif, bc i’m sure this person dies. someone random?

A KEY? oho. gimme the lore behind that key.

gerathon’s prison is just... a big lump of earth? huh?? i remembered it being more sinister than that. like some sort of huge, underground cage, half-flooded. like in a sewer.

oh, this guy could very well be zerif after all. it doesn’t specify if he died or not.

FIN !

wow, what a ride. a pretty good book to start off a fantastic series :3 HUNTED HERE I COME!

p.s. this took me several weeks to compose. adhd is not kind to me lmao

#callie talk #spirit animals #spirit animals books #spirit animals series #spirit animals rereads

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shadowfromthestarlight · 1 year

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Reflecting on the End Times

I have been interested in learning more about the End Times and have started reading up on it in a couple of different sources, but I am also interested in source recommendations.

For most of my life I have overlooked eschatology for a few reasons. The end times seemed so unlikely to happen in my lifetime; after all, how many have believed that the end of the world was coming over the past two thousand years, only to be proven wrong? And how do we know that some visions someone supposedly had thousands of years ago are to be taken literally? The Bible was compiled by mortal men; how do I really know that there aren’t books that are false or mistaken? And, more recently, I realized I truly didn’t want the end of the world to happen in my lifetime because I wanted a greater destiny for humanity; I wanted the human race to have the chance to colonize the galaxy. I would have been disappointed if I was living in or close to the end times.

But a few realizations have recently changed my mind:

1. That there is true evil in this universe, and it is manifesting in ways that are extremely clear to all but those who wish to cover their ears and pretend what’s happening isn’t happening. We’re being fed a barrage of propaganda obviously designed to prep us for crisis after crisis and probably to the eventual acceptance of the erosion of national sovereignty and rule by an unelected global technocracy. And the people behind it don’t care one way or another if thousands or even millions have to die in order to bring about their vision for the human race (think provoking nuclear war, catastrophic Covid response, disastrous economic policies) because they are truly in the grip of evil. This is not a new phenomenon; in the modern age, several false religions based on the fundamental false premise that human beings can create a perfect world have arisen and led to the deaths of tens of millions through war, genocide, and oppression. These beliefs are still present in the 21st century, albeit in more disguised and mixed forms. When you get to the core of them, you see that they are an inversion of traditional religion focused on a supreme being. Now, who would want us to turn away from the true God and have these destructive beliefs about human supremacy? Satan is very active in the world today and you can easily see how he will have success in turning millions of people away from God and how events prophesied to occur in the End Times could take place in the foreseeable future.

2. If you accept that God intended us to use the Bible to learn about Him and His plan for the world, it appears strikingly odd that there would be multiple books prophesying about the End Times. Why would He give multiple people visions and insight about the End Times if we weren’t supposed to take them seriously? It follows that it is a real period of time that God wants us to know about.

3. If you accept that the Church is guided by the Holy Spirit, it doesn’t make sense that we would have books referencing the End Times in the Bible, as the Holy Spirit would obviously guide the Church towards teachings that were true and important. Further, if you don’t accept that the Church is guided by the Holy Spirit at all, there becomes little point in accepting Church teaching and you might as well try to figure out the truth on your own.

4. Your attachment to this physical world and hope for a bright future for humanity in this physical universe is not a good enough reason to ignore what happens at the end of the world.

Having accepted that the “end of the world” is probably a real event that could occur in my lifetime, I also realize that learning about it is a good idea. I didn’t know that there were intense debates over whether there will be a pre-tribulational rapture, for example. If you assume that there will be one, and that you will be saved without having to go through the tribulation, you risk being deceived during the End Times and turning away from the true faith. Therefore, you must be prepared to experience the End Times if necessary. You have nothing to lose by being prepared because if you die before the End Times, you will have lived a life of righteousness and faith, but you have a lot to lose by not being prepared.

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startledstars · 2 years

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what I wish Christians would do

(thoughts from someone who used to think this was the dumbest religion ever)

there’s another post coming soon about my experiences with “Christians” as an immigrant living in the deep south

but basically, the sentence “Jesus Christ died for your sins” made my eyes roll back into my head to watch my own brain cells commit suicide

because it’s like... who’s he, what “sins” and I don’t remember asking him to do that, so thanks but no thanks

and when they said things like “Jesus is the son of God” and “the Bible is the word of God” all could hear were some dangerously arrogant, unverifiable statements. How could a book written by men be accredited to God? How could God, an incorporeal, asexual, disembodied force, have a child? (And where did they get off calling God “he”? Seems like some bs invented by misogynists who fail to see that women have created, sustained, and nurtured life for millennia.)

“Faith” was their explanation, but it was actually a mixture of fear and willful ignorance, because they thought they’d go to hell if they asked too many questions. They knew their beliefs couldn’t stand rigorous testing. Many, if not most professing Christians are guilty of not being able to defend their faith. If they read their bibles, they’d know that their own God commands them to “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect [...]”

another thing that irked me to no end was the cross itself. It’s a torture device, yet Christians seemed to venerate it. Those graven images of Jesus in nothing but a loincloth, each rib clearly visible (though there’s no mention of him starving before his crucifixion) made my stomach turn. Is this a religion that celebrates pain? Do they look at this image of a weak, miserable, emancipated man- a man barely looked human in his final hours, yet declared that he was God- and see their God? (Not to mention the commandment, “You shall not make for yourself a carved image.” Seriously. Have y’all ever cracked open your own books? If I sincerely believed there was a book written by God -the actually creator of the universe- I’d read that thing cover to cover multiple times.)

basically, I wish Christians lived out their faith. I wish that they’d embody kindness, peace, and forgiveness so consistently, the people around them would wonder how it was possible. “Where does their joy, hope, and love come from? Why do they seem so untouchable? How can I get what they have?” These are the questions the world should be asking about believers.

If the Christians I knew ten years ago educated themselves and gave real answers to my questions, my life might’ve changed a lot sooner. I sincerely wish I became a believer at the age of 15 instead of 24. I wish Christians tested their own faith more rigorously than anyone else would. I wish they’d ask themselves, and God, the most difficult questions imaginable. If God is who He says He is, He knows your questions before you ask, and had the answers ready before He created the universe. (Though the answers we receive in this life will not be perfect or complete, He gives enough for people to make a choice.)

So, here’s a little q&a that might help you understand the Jesus thing better.

Q: Pain. Suffering. Disappointment. Loneliness. Evil. Why God do this? >:-(

A: God (and only God) uses bad things to bring about a greater good. It’s easy to see when you’re older, how that boy who didn’t love you back would’ve been a terrible influence if you’d gotten together. How not getting into the school you wanted to was better for your future career. How suffering abuse made you a stronger, more empathetic person, able to withstand pressures that would destroy those who didn’t survive the same experiences. For evils where we can’t comprehend how anything good can come, God will find a way.

Q: Well that’s easy to say. God “uses” pain but He never had to suffer like the real victims do. Calling a God like that “loving” is either dumb or evil.

A: (though that wasn’t really a question lol) that’s where Jesus comes in. He suffered loneliness, betrayal, fear, disappointment, public humiliation, and every type of physical pain imaginable in his last hours. On top of that, while on the cross, he drank the cup of God’s wrath. (This is a little hard to wrap your head around) but basically, all the punishment that should justifiably go to the rapists, murders, liars, thieves, and every other sinner for every sin committed from the beginning to the end of time— Jesus experienced every last bit of it, alone, on the cross.

God is not far removed from pain, and God does not ask anyone to suffer anything He didn’t willingly suffer himself.

The Christian worldview answers the questions of pain and evil better than Buddhism (I tried to detach from suffering and desire and only ended up feeling dead inside. Human beings are meant to feel, want, suffer, and grow stronger) Islam (I compared Mohammed, who lived a wealthy, comfortable life and took many wives, the youngest of which was only nine years old when he consummated the marriage, to Jesus. I mean no disrespect to Muslims; this was simply part of my own process for testing my faith) Hinduism (the religion I was born into, with its myriad of stone and metal Gods who made me walk in endless circles with my hands palms pressed together but never answered a single prayer. The doctrine of Karma meant the beggars I saw as a child, some with their limbs cut off, were being punished for crimes committed in a past life they couldn’t remember.) Atheism (which believes in order arising from chaos, life from non-life, consciousness from ‘emergent properties,’ no objective right or wrong so why does anything matter, including pain?)

#spiritual awakening #spirituality #truth #new age #ascension #Jesus #God

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violetsystems · 2 years

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My skin has been a lot clearer since I added a timed release retinol booster with a salicylic moisturizer. You can thank Allure’s beauty journalism for that tip and not a dermatologist. I wish I knew this ten or so years ago when I first started going to a dermatologist. But I think that’s the way the health care industry in America is designed. An economy of shame. The ACA is totally fucked up for me even after I cancelled it on the government marketplace. I got a phone call from my regular dentist asking if I wanted to schedule an appointment. Said we’ll talk. Went to replace my router and there was someone intentionally parading around in a dival dentistry shirt at the train stop by my house. They do everything they can get away with and gaslight on the rest if you question it. Somebody is selling my information every waking moment. I wish I got a cut of it: a little harder to do this with no income. Not even a tip. I understand improv actors have to practice on me for their big break in commercials. But my life is a walking advertisement because of all this now. I think it’s practice for our reality show where we make it big doing nothing for cheap. If only excellent written communication in English were a valuable job skill with an English degree in America. I switched to psychology. Had some grad courses before I decided it was too expensive to pursue. With a college degree and a twenty year resume I’m dead in the water. I have twelve years of management experience and I think this city wants me to manage the felafel fryer line. If college stops being useful two decades later? People are really fucked on these student loans. After you are no longer tied to debt or some weird cooked books shared equity shuffle society thinks you are better off dead. I kind of wonder if that’s the point. The military has too low recruitment for the job market to be so connected and exclusive. I think people really want me to take this hotel California shit more seriously. That was a song about never being able to escape the music industry. Even after you failed. I’m trying to escape the discourse. None of this shit people argue about makes sense to me after what I’ve been through. What does make sense is living your life. As freely as you can. Which in my mind right now is a reality show prison with no paycheck. Whoever you are selling my data to better help you pay your student loans. Because if you are buying meth with it I’m going to be disappointed. My plan to address student debt? Break up big tech and make them pay for it. A hard sell considering they have no revenue without stealing information from people’s private lives. 💰

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ismarus-art · 6 years

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Hello everyone! GUESS WHAT, IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER BOOK!

That’s right! I just published another book! ‘The Adventures Of’ is a journal designed to help you record your tabletop RPG games! It’s 195 illustrated pages with room for up to 10 players and 52 campaigns (so weekly groups can document their campaigns over the course of a year! (but let’s be honest who on earth can get their group together that often amiright))

There are also places to record all your critical rolls, character ‘deaths’, major and minor NPCs (cus god knows I can’t keep everyone straight), towns and notable locations like dungeons or pirate coves or whatever, and a big ol’ epilogue section where each player can detail what happened to their character after the events of the adventure!

I really like the idea of climbing into my attic as an old woman and finding like, ten of these bad boys crammed full of notes and memories of old adventures. :.)

Thank you for reading! The Adventures Of is available on Amazon!

#the adventures of #dungeons and dragons #madeline hale #table fables #GUYS I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE #SERIOUSLY I WISH I HAD THIS BOOK TEN YEARS AGO #I am soooo bad at remembering campaign details so GUYS this is a lifesaver 4 me #but also thank you guys so much I love all of you from the bottom of my heart #<3

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iwalc · 3 years

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Surprise- Brian May x Reader

It was late. You sat on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful, incredible life. 2 years ago, 3 years into your marriage with Brian, you decided to have a child, a token of your love for each other. It was a rough start. There were numerous times where it didn't work at all, other times when you peed on the stick, soon after seeing a positive test, the excitement was immense and when you told Brian he got so excited, all of this to then be broken by the news of miscarriage. It broke the both of you but somehow you still managed to carry on. And for the reward of not giving in you could finally tell Brian once again that you were pregnant, and that time, all went well. In August 1980 you could finally give birth to a bouncing baby girl. It was a strange feeling, suddenly the gravity of your universe shifted and everything revolved around this tiny human, the beautiful Amanda that you and your husband, the love of your life had created and would cherish forever.

You had Brian, your beautiful girl Amanda, you had a beautiful and warm atmosphere you could call home, and there was nothing more that you wanted in life. Until a few months ago.

Your husband had started to secretly give you hints until he finally sat down with you and spat it out.

"Love?" he called silently since Amanda was sleeping, from the living room as you were in the bathroom catching up some laundry. "Yes, gorgeous" you answered just as you accomplished the task at hand. "Could you come here for a minute, there is something I'd like to talk to you about", "Ofc, I'll just wash my hands first". You thought about it as you washed your hands in the warm water. It must be something that's been on his mind for a while since whenever it's something ordinary he just spits it out, out of nowhere. You were curious.

When you walked towards the living room you saw him sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees, face in his hands. This worried you quite a bit. "Hey, what's up?" you asked as you sat down next to him, your hand automatically landing on his thigh. "I uh, I... There is something that's been on my mind" he started, looking down at his feet signalling his nervousness. "Well, I figured, I've noticed there's been something on your mind lately, but I didn't want to push you into talking with me if you didn't feel ready to." you gently said as you squeezed his tight gently. "I haven't found the right time to tell you and talk to you about it" he continued. "I want to know what's on your mind, love" you answered, really wanting to know. He turned his head to look at you for a moment, his curls falling off his shoulder, a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you want me to just spit it out or with some background information?" he asked chuckling a bit, "Do you think background information will be necessary?" you asked him smiling while adoring his beautiful features. His hazel, soft eyes, his prominent cheekbones, his jawline, his beautiful dark curls framing his gorgeous face. "No, not really. I uhm", "Brian, love, I know you are nervous but it's just me, spit it out", "I want another baby Y/N" he blurted out, waiting worriedly for your reaction, a small smile daring to tug at his lips. You were quite shocked, to be honest, it wasn't what you thought your husband had been thinking so much about. "You know Amanda is growing quickly, she's almost 2 years old now and I uhm, it would be nice to give her some company and" he didn't get to finish his explanation because of you interrupting him with a kiss. Taking him by surprise.

It was a brilliant idea. It made your stomach flutter with butterflies. You pulled back from the passionate kiss, seeing his chocked state made you laugh. He smiled at you, adoration poured into the gaze that reached your face. "I'd love to expand our family and have another child with you!" you squeaked, flying into his arms, which in turn led to chuckles escaping Brian's throat. The sound filled your heart and once again you thought about how perfect your life had become. You were so in love with everything, but most importantly Amanda and Brian.

The way he got so excited. The way his hazel eyes got deeper with adoration and excitement. The way his smile reached his eyes. The way he hugged you, telling you how happy you made him, how in love he was with you and to share his life with you. The way he existed. Your heart ached with love for this man.

And that day, it was set, you were going to try for a new baby. It wasn't always easy, already having a child to take care of, as well as Brians sometimes strange working schedule. However, to you, it was quite obvious it had worked. You were experiencing some symptoms, which reminded you of your first pregnancy: Absent period, hormonal imbalance, tender breasts, bloated, nausea in the mornings. Even Brian noticed some changes:

You had just gotten out of a late-night shower and were just going to change into your pyjama shirt when Brian suddenly commented something you found very strange. "Love, have you been missing your period?" he blurted out. This was something you never ever thought he'd ever think of, never the less keep track off. You turned around to stare at him, "Yes, in fact, I have, why?". "No, I was just thinking, I reckon you told me last month that we had to buy more pads and tampons til' this time, but neither of us has bought any and you have been feeling quite fine compared to how you use to feel when the time of the month comes around." he said like it was nothing, you just starred at him incredulously, at awe of the attention he had paid. "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked as his face fell. "No, no you didn't. I'm just amazed by the attention you pay to those kinds of things. I wasn't prepared for the question nor the explanation for it." you said and chuckled as you dragged the shirt over your head. Walking to the bed you smiled to yourself, wow, what a man. As you buried yourself under the quilt, snuggling up to Brian who gladly put his arm around you he blurted out another incredulous comment. "I also can't help to notice that your breast has gotten bigger". You laughed at the comment. "I don't know if they're bigger, but tender they definitely are. How do you notice all of these things?" you couldn't help but ask as you looked up at him. "Well, I don't know, I guess I just do. And I've known you for about ten years now, and we've been together for almost eight of those. I would like to say I know you very well" he stated. "Well yes, you definitely do, and I love you for it!" you said as you reached up for a kiss, he chuckled a bit and smiled into the kiss.

Brian didn't ask anything after that, you know he had his suspicions but neither of you wanted to get the hopes up too early, regarding all of the tries before Amanda. However, after emptying your stomach one morning, you decided that it would be time to take a test. Brian couldn't be with you this time since he had work at the studio that had to be done, and since Amanda was spending time with her grandparents, Ruth and Harold, you figured it would be a perfect time. Since Brian wasn't home, nor did he know you were going to take a test, you decided to keep it a secret until you knew the result and decided to take it from there.

You had pregnancy tests laying around in a draw in the bathroom. You took one, peed on it, and while waiting for a result you went to eat some breakfast. Coming back to the bathroom to look at the test, you suddenly became very nervous, you really wanted it to be positive! You would hate to break the news to Brian, telling him that it was negative and that the symptoms had been a result of something else. You took a deep breath and grabbed the test. You slowly turned it around, feeling the nervousness clearly increase. All the fear suddenly washed away, it was positive.

Suddenly you felt all the emotions in the world all at once. Tears started to drip from your eyes as you smiled like crazy. The excitement was a fact which resulted in several exited screams and runs throughout the house. If anyone could see you they'd probably think you'd be crazy. But you didn't care because you were the happiest. You had more than you would ever wish for.

Before taking the test you were thinking about waiting to tell Brian until you've seen a doctor etc but now, there was no way you could make that happen. You tried not to call Brian at the studio to tell him. Instead, you rushed to the phone and decided to call Ruth and Harold.

It felt like it took forever before anyone picked up the phone. "The May household" you heard Harold answer. "Hi Harold, it's Y/N, how are you?", "Hello Dear, I'm fine thank you, how are you?" he asked, he sounded happy, it warmed your heart. You contemplated whether telling them or waiting. Apparently, you had been quiet for too long, "Is everything alright?" he seriously asked. You hesitated a bit, "Yeah, I uhm I think so", "You doesn't sound too sure about that dear, would you like to talk to Ruth?", "That would be nice, thank you, Harold". Harold was a great grandad and a wonderful father in law, however, you had always had a better connection towards Ruth.

You heard Harold calling for Ruth and some muffled noises. "Hello dear!" you heard Ruth's voice cheering through. "Hello Ruth, how are you? And Amanda?" you gently asked, not really levelling with her enthusiasm. "Oh I'm fine dear, thank you for asking. Amanda just ate some soup, so she's full and satisfied" she laughed. "That's great! I hope you're all having a good time and that she's behaving" you chuckled. "Oh dear, don't worry, she's the best!" you chuckled as an answer. "Now, Y/N, will you tell me what's wrong?", "I uhm, I was wondering if I could pick Amanda up a bit earlier than planned? Like today?", it was quiet for some time before she answered. "Oh, well yes of course you can! Is there something wrong?" she asked. "No, I don't think so at least" you chuckled, "I just want her home for tonight when Brians getting home.", "Y/N, I'm sorry but I can see right through you, there is something on your mind.", "Well yes, there are, I just don't know if I want to tell you before I tell Brian.", "Oh" and with this, you knew she understood. "Ok, I think you know by now anyway, I uhm, I'm..... pregnant, and I wanted to" you didn't get to finish your sentence because there was a scream on the other end and it made you laugh. "Oh my heavens, Congratulations!! I am so happy for you two!" she almost screamed. "Don't get too excited Ruth, it's still pretty early" you voiced your fears. "Oh dear, I understand your fear, I really do, but it will be alright in the end, I promise!", at this you got emotional, tears started to stream down your cheeks and you sniffled, "Oh love, It will be alright! We'll pack Amandas things and then we'll be right over, okay?", "Okay" you sniffled, "Thank you Ruth!", "No worries dear!", "Ruth before you begin packing things up, you don't have too, you can have her back tonight or tomorrow if you want.", "That sounds nice if it's alright with you two, but I guess you would appreciate some time alone to talk and everything, so we'll happily come and pick her up tomorrow again!", "That sounds great, I know she loves being with you two! I won't hold you up any longer, see you soon then", "Yes darling, see you soon!"

You took a deep breath. Wow. This was a rollercoaster.

You were so happy and so appreciative for Ruth and Harold. Brian and Harold haven't always been on great terms but the last year things have been amazing between them and both Harold and Ruth have always been amazing towards you. They are great, amazing! And there is no wonder why Brian is so great.

---

You were in the bedroom and looking for a specific body that Amanda had, knowing that Brian would know exactly when he saw it, when you heard knock on the front door. You quickly ran downstairs and opened to great your baby and parents in law.

"Hi," you both said at the same time as you opened the door. Ruth walked inside first and greeted you with a big smile, embracing you in a hug only a mother could. "You look great!" she happily said as her hands went to your cheeks, you chuckled a bit "Thanks, I don't feel great" you laughed, hoping not to get further questions. Harold stepped inside and handed you your baby girl, oh you had missed her. "Hi baby," you said in a squealing voice before showering her in kisses, making her laugh. Harold walked up to you, and to your surprise leaned in for a hug, he's not a hugging person normally, you gently hugged him and received a happy congratulations wish. "I'm happy for you both," he said, "Thank you so much, Harold," you said and gave him a joyous smile, just as you also felt tears streaming down. "Oh wow, I'm a mess" you laughed as you brushed the tears off. "No worries dear, I was the same when I was expecting Brian" she laughed and Harold agreed, not pleased with the recall of memories. You all broke down in laughs.

You welcomed them inside and as always they made themselves feel at home as you served some tea and biscuits. Ruth was playing with Amanda on the sofa. "Has she taken her nap today?" you asked as you saw how Amanda started to get cranky and sleepy. "No she hasn't, she was about to fall asleep in the car on our way here but we thought it was better to keep her awake so she could sleep here.", "Maybe we should go take a nap, baby girl," you said as you approached them on the sofa. Suddenly, Harold stood up, "I can take her to nap, if that's ok?" he asked, "Yes of course," you said as you walked and picked Amanda up and handed her to Harold. "I'll be upstairs with the bottle in a minute," you said as you walked to the kitchen to prepare the bottle.

---

Amanda was happily asleep upstairs and Ruth and Harold had just left. However, before they left they handed me a little box and you thought that now would be a good time opening it. Inside you could see a yellow shirt, in Amanda's size. When you unfolded the soft material you saw the cutest thing. The shirt had "Promoted Big Sister" embroidered on the front. You chuckled slightly as an idea about how to reveal the news to Brian popped up in your head.

This will be perfect.

---

Amanda was seated in her chair as you finished up the rest of the dinner. For the occasion, you had made Brians favourite dinner.

You had been so distracted by the food that you hadn't heard Brian coming home. You only noticed when Amanda squealed when she saw him entering the large kitchen. You turned around and was treated by a sight that could melt your heart a thousand times over. Brians had picked her up and were showing her with hugs and kisses, making the baby girl let out belly laughs. You felt how you were about to cry but quickly turned around again to brush them away.

Brian put Amanda back in her chair for a moment and approached you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips brushed against your neck and kissed your temple. "Hi" you gently voiced. "Hello, love," he said and kept kissing your cheek. "It smells delicious," he said and placed one last kiss on your ear. "It's your favourite," you said and put down the spatula to turn around and greet him properly. "I noticed, what do I owe the pleasure?" he said as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his hands placed on your waist. "nothing special" you lied. "How was your day?" you asked as you leaned in for a hug, hugging his waist, his hands brushing your back. You could smell his cologne, feel his arms tightening around you. "It was okay, nothing special," he said, his voice low. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. One of his hands stroke some hair behind your ear to then cup your cheek. "How was your day? And why's Amanda home, shouldn't she be at my parents?", "They came to visit earlier and I wanted her home, but she's going back tomorrow," you said as you adored his face. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was like nothing else, your whole body tingled. You felt the excitement again.

The dinner was nothing special. Brian kept complimenting the food, which warmed your heart. Throughout the whole dinner, you just kept adoring the little family you have and the excitement to reveal that one more was on the way kept getting stronger and you were growing impatient.

Amanda played with a rattle toy while you and Brian both cleaned up after the dinner, stealing hugs and kisses here and there.

When the kitchen was done cleaning you honestly felt exhausted, and Brian, being the wonderful husband he is, sensed that. He walked up to you and kissed your forehead as he hugged you. "You go sit down and relax and I'll take care of Manda" he said and kissed you again. "Thank you" you whispered.

Brian kissed you once more and walked excitedly towards Amanda, "Come here baby girl, it's time for jammies" he said as he picked her up and threw her up in the air, making her laugh once again. You felt at peace and happy as you saw them giggling, making their way down to the nursery.

It was getting quite late. You sat down on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful incredible life. And the excitement for the news Brian is left to find out is very much evident.

You couldn't focus on reading the book, you just sat there biting you lip slightly and listening to what was happening in the nursery. You heard Brian talk to Manda and her giggles. Until it all stopped.

Silent took over the house, the only thing you could hear was Mandas joller and the fire in the fireplace.

"Love?" Brian called for you. You didn't answer, you wanted to see his reaction without you interfering to early. "Y/N" he almost shouted. Silence took over again.

Apparently, he grabbed Amanda and the shirt he had discovered and worked to the living room. "What is this?" he said, trying to hide his excitement if it weren't true. "It's a new shirt I bought for Manda" you chuckled. He looked so confused. His eyes went from looking on Amanda, to the shirt, to you. "What?" he blurted out, confusion written all over him. You rose up from the sofa and approached him. He had put Amanda down on the floor as he inspected the shirt.

You walked towards him and when there was almost no space between you he looked up at you, studied your expression. You smiled and took the shirt out of his hands and folded it and put it on the table. You walked up to him again and smiled. He tilted his head a bit, once again showing his confusion. You took his hands and brought them up to kiss them and then placed them gently on your lower stomach to get the message through. He caught on immediately. His eyes widened and he let out a breath. "Ooh my lord" he breathed as he adjusted his hands slightly, his gaze fixated on your belly. You chuckled and once again felt tears forming in your eyes. "I'm pregnant, Brian" you said smiling as the tears ran down your cheeks. He looked up at you and a smile spread across his face, "Really?" he asked as he looked at you. "Yes, I took three tests and all of them was positive".

Brian moved his hands and embraced you in a loving, comforting hug. His head was placed in the curve of your neck, his hands wrapped around you, your hands on his back, feeling his warmth, feeling the soft curls against your cheek. What you discovered next melted your heart. You heard sniffles coming from Brian.

You broke the embrace and looked at him, your hands holding his cheeks, your thumbs brushing away the tears, as more tears streamed from your eyes. You both were crying out of happiness, and soon enough you were both laughing. Brian held your waist, "Oh boy I love you!" he said as he laughed and kissed you. "I love you more" you gently said, looking into his hazel eyes. "Thank you" he then said as a wave of more tears streamed down his rosy cheeks. He leaned his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. "I.. I don't even know what to say. I love you so much and there is no other I'd want to share my life with. You make me happy, you're keeping me on track, you are my universe. I love you so much and I am so grateful for you! You have given me the best gift of live already once, and now again. I... I'm speechless. I love you so much! And I am so excited" he laughed. "I am so excited. Im so excited for all that the future has to bring us. To see Amanda grow up, to see this little bean grow" he placed his hands on your stomach, "I love you, so much!" he started to cry again. This hit you hard. How did you end up with this fantastic man? If only you could show him how much you meant to him so he could really understand.

"Baby, I love you! So much! And I am so happy. I have more than I could ever have asked for. I have a wonderful husband, who's also my best friend. You cheer me up when I'm down, you comfort me when I'm sad, you laugh with me when I'm happy. I am so glad and grateful that I get to share my life with you too. I love you so much it hurts!" you said and kissed his swollen, red lips to then hug him tight.

You were so excited for what the future would bring. You would never want to do this with anyone else. This was perfect.

--------------------

I hope you liked this one! I surely do! If you guys want maybe I could build this story further, maybe to follow them throughout the pregnancy or something? Let me know what you think!

#brian may fluff #brian may x reader fluff #dad!brian may #80s #queen band #love #brian may #brian may fanfiction #brian may fic #brian may imagine #brian may smut #brian may x oc #brian may x reader

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sundaysundaes · 3 years

Text

Whispers

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Smut, Fluff | 5k | Idol AU

Summary: Donghyuck has been busy promoting his new album and no matter how much he misses you, he can’t see you in person due to his schedules. Desperate for your touch, he begins to call you late at night.

Warnings: Phone sex, masturbation (male and female), dirty talk (but is it still called ‘dirty talk’ if Donghyuck is just being honest and saying whatever that comes to his mind?), no plot with a lot of dialogues

The vibration of your iPhone wakes you up from your dream. Being thrown back so suddenly to reality makes you feel slightly lightheaded but it’s all worth it the second you see his name written on your screen. Rubbing your eyes away from sleep, you answer his call, “Hyuck?”

“Hey, Noona.” The airiness of his honeyed voice sounds familiar and pleasant in your ears that it instantly paints a smile on your face. “Did I wake you?”

You refrain yourself from yawning. “Yeah, I fell asleep reading.” Narrowing your eyes irritatedly at the brightness of the fluorescent light hanging on your ceiling, you decide to switch it off and uses the dim glow of the bedside lamp instead.

“What time is it?” He gasps when he notices the time on his screen. “Three AM?! Shit, I didn’t realize it was this late. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t be sleeping anyway. I still have to work on my papers, so it’s actually good that you woke me up.” You nuzzle close to the pillow, holding your phone to your ear with one hand, blinking sleepily. “Did you just get back from schedule?”

“Yeah.” He sighs wearily. “I’m dead tired right now. I wish I could just take a day off, you know? I mean, performing is fun, but promoting a new album can be so hectic. I’ve only been sleeping for, like, two hours per day since last week.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You bring the teddy bear he’d given you on your birthday close to your chest, pretending like you were embracing him. “I wish you could take some days off, too.”

“Yeah?” Somehow, he sounds like he’s smiling. “Then do what?”

“I don’t know, play games, I guess? Or just lie around in bed, doing nothing.”

“I’d rather be doing something, actually.” He chuckles softly, a hint of teasing in his voice. “Or someone.”

“Gross,” you retort but you can feel your lips curving upwards. “It’s okay if you want to rest, Hyuck. You don’t have to force yourself to call me every day. Your health should be your number one priority.”

“What, you don’t want me to call you?”

You freeze. “Of course I want you to call me. I just—”

“I thought you’d be excited to hear my voice.”

The sudden bitterness in his tone makes you sit up from the bed, eyebrows adjoined in confusion. “What—Hyuck—”

“You know what?” He exhales loudly. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have called. It’s late anyway.“

“Can you please just listen—”

“I’m tired. Let’s just talk tomorrow.”

“But—”

“I’m hanging up.”

“Hyuck—” But you’re only answered by silence when the line gets disconnected. You stare at your phone, eyes wide in disbelief.

What the hell just happened?

Upset and vexed, you dial his number. You wait with your jaw clenched until he picks up on the fourth ring. “Can’t you listen to me for one second?!” Not sure if it’s because of the drowsiness or exhaustion, but you find yourself shouting even before he says anything. “Of course, I want you to call me, you idiot! It’s the only thing I’ve been waiting all day. Every day, Hyuck, I wait for your call every day. I keep catching myself checking on my phone every ten minutes, waiting for your texts, wanting to call you. I miss you, of course, I miss you—you’re—” You turn stiff when you hear him cackling from the other side of the phone. “Are you laughing?”

“I’m sorry.” His laughter is contagious but you put up your best effort not to get infected. “You’re so cute when you get all riled up. Isn’t it obvious that I was just joking?”

“Right. I’m hanging up.”

“Wait, Noona—” You listen to him with your eyes throwing ice daggers to the wall. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise.” There’s a small pause where you’re too irritated to talk and he’s too unsure to start but he tries. “So, like… you miss me?”

“Not right now.”

“Aaw, come on, I was just messing around.” You can imagine him puckering his lips, batting his eyelashes for forgiveness. “Please, tell me. Tell me how much you miss me.”

You throw yourself back to the bed, huffing. “I don’t think I want to.”

“You get cuter when you’re angry, you know that?” He sighs to the air. “Aaah… I miss you. I miss you so much, Noona, you don’t even know. Probably more than you miss me.”

I don’t think that’s possible. “Of course,” you reply, holding back a smile from breaking on your face. “Since I only miss you a little bit.”

“A little bit?”

“A tiny, tiny bit. On second thought, maybe I don’t miss you at all.”

“Is that so?” You can tell he’s exhausted by the way he lets out his chuckle, but it doesn’t mean it’s less sincere. “It really has been a while since we last saw each other, hasn’t it?”

You nod to yourself. “Four months.”

“You keep count, huh?” His teasing tone makes you flushed. “Love me that much, do you?”

“Around four months,” you correct him, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible when the truth is, you can practically hear your heart hammering against your ribcages. “Or maybe three? Five? I don’t know.”

“Why are you so cute? Seriously, how can you be this cute?” Donghyuck sits on the edge of his bed, lips forming so widely that it nearly splits his face in half. When his chuckles have receded, his eyes begin to soften. “I love you, Noona. You know that, right?”

People might be thinking about how lucky you are to have a member of one of the most prestigious boybands in the world confessing his love for you at 3 AM, but honestly? You’re just so grateful for the fact that Lee Donghyuck, a boy who stole your heart nearly a decade ago when you were too young to even understand the word love, finally realized that your entire relationship with him was deeper than a mere friendship. It took years for both of you to finally gain enough bravery to act out your feelings, especially when he managed to shine brighter than you could ever imagine being. You were afraid of it—afraid that you would be burnt by his fame, afraid that he would discard you for he had everything and you only had him. But Donghyuck didn’t want anything. He only wanted you.

You love him. You’ve been loving him for as long as you can remember so hearing him say the words, no matter how often he has mentioned it already, still sparks fire through your veins. You’ll never admit that out loud, though.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot these days,” he sheepishly adds.

“More than you think about yourself?” You snort. “I’m shocked.”

“Eeyyy, I’m serious.” The sound of your giggle makes him sigh, longing to hear it in person. “I wish I could be with you right now. I thought about you a lot during today’s photoshoot too.” He lies down on the bed, running a hand through his hair. “I thought about our last date. About that red dress you wore. Man, you looked so cute in that dress.”

You half-buried your face in the pillow, heat blossoming on your cheeks. “Now this is the topic I like to talk about.”

Donghyuck scrunches up his nose. “Aren’t you gonna say I looked nice too that day?”

Even the slightest thought of him—any version of him, whether it was him dressing handsomely on a date or him waking up in the morning with a bird’s nest on his head—never fails to send butterflies swirling in your stomach, but again, you’ll never admit that out loud. “Meh,” you jeer, even adding a shrug when you know he won’t be able to see. “Could’ve dressed better. I mean, ripped jeans? Really?”

“Yah, yah, yah. You said I looked good wearing those jeans!”

“We were going to a fancy restaurant and I wore a semi-formal dress, Hyuck. They just didn’t match my outfit. They didn’t match anyone’s outfit there, really.”

“Really? You’re gonna say that? Even after you spent the whole night stealing glances at me with drool on your face?”

You wish you could say he was lying, but you indeed spent the entire night drooling at him over the sight of his black leather jacket and the way his jeans just wrapped his thighs so perfectly. “I have lost interest in this topic.” It’s for the best before you combust into flames. “Where are you right now?”

“Back at the dorm.” He softly yawns. “In my room.”

“Alone?”

“Yep, since Johnny-hyung is filming out of town.” When you stay quiet, unsure of what to say, Donghyuck grins mischievously. “Why, do you wanna sneak in? I think I can afford to lose some sleep tonight, if you know what I mean.”

Flustered, you retort, “After Johnny caught us cuddling last time? No way.”

“Yeah, about that,” Donghyuck says a little awkwardly, “After you went home he said to me that he heard the whole thing—”

“What do you mean the whole thing?” The horror in your face and your voice is clear.

“I meant, the whole thing. Us having sex and stuff.”

You could practically feel the exact moment when your soul is leaving your body, but Donghyuck continues as if he’s simply talking about getting caught cheating during a test. “But it’s okay, he’s cool. He’s got my back.”

“Oh my God.” You nearly faint. “I will never show my face in front of your roommate, ever again.”

“Yeah, about that—“

“Are you fucking kidding me, Hyuck—”

“Jaehyun-hyung heard us too.”

“What?!”

“And he told Mark-hyung about it later on, and that’s the reason why I had this bump on my head for three days.” Donghyuck pouts, rubbing the back of his head, lean fingers carding through soft brown locks. “He hit me with a book, lecturing me about bringing you to the dorm as if he never did that himself.”

Not trying to overreact about it, but you’re suffocating by this point. “Why are you so chill about this?!”

“They heard us having sex, not murdering the innocents.” He rolls his eyes but seems amused at your reaction. “To be honest, I hear a lot of stuff happening in our dorm that I’m sure you don’t wanna know. Like, a lot a lot. Way worse than what I did with you.”

“And does Taeyong know about this?”

“Taeyong-hyung needs his beauty sleep so we agreed not to tell him stuff.”

“I feel sorry for him.”

“I just feel sorry he’s not part of our antics.” Donghyuck shrugs, kicking off his shoes and socks before he leans against the headboard. “How about you? Are you alone?”

“Yeah.” You heavily sigh, still feeling quite dizzy after hearing the truth he just blurted out. “My roommate’s gone for the weekend.”

“Oh…” He taps his fingers against his stomach, a weird feeling swirling inside his chest as a thought begins to form. “That’s… great…”

Donghyuck’s tongue lays heavy in his mouth, suddenly loses the ability to form a simple conversation as his mind begins to focus entirely on something else. It all started that one night when he pretended to be asleep, when in fact, he was listening to his roommate, Johnny, speaking to his girlfriend in hushed whispers. The way the older man was chuckling to his phone was suspicious, and the more he tried to listen intently, the more he realized that Johnny wasn’t conversing. He was giving orders with a voice thick with seduction. The sensual words Johnny used made Donghyuck’s ears turn scarlet, and he buried his face deeper behind his blanket. Since then, the curiosity within him has been rising more and more, nearly suffocating him sometimes when he desperately yearned for your touch but his schedule never let him take a goddamn break.

Not knowing the dirty thoughts that flit across his mind, you carry on your conversation like usual. “I guess, but it does get lonely sometimes when she’s not around. I actually like having a roommate.” The sandalwood aroma from your diffuser, combined with his velvety voice, comforts you and you’re finally able to relax. “Have you been eating well? I’ve been craving for strawberry—”

“What are you wearing?”

“—pancakes—what?”

“I…” Donghyuck heaves out a heavy breath, biting the corner of his lip, unsure yet not ready to give up on his desire. “I just… I was wondering—Are you wearing pajamas?”

“Umm…” The way he asks about it sends heat rising to your cheeks. He doesn’t sound as innocent as the words he uses. You look down, fingers curling at the hemline of your clothes. “I’m wearing one of your shirts, actually.”

Donghyuck throws his head back, eyes tightly shut as he curses silently into the air, his phone pressed against his chest. The sight of you wearing his oversized shirt has been one of his most recurring fantasies and not being able to see you, but knowing that you are wearing his shirt, kills him.

“Hyuck?”

Donghyuck brings his phone back to his ear. “Sorry, there was a… Mark.” He mentally slaps himself on the head.

“There was a Mark?”

“I mean, Mark-hyung was here—but he just left so—"

“Are you drunk again?”

“No!” Donghyuck rubs his temple. This is not going well, he shouts in his mind. “Why—” He winces when he hears his voice crack. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “Why are you wearing my shirt?”

Because it smells like you and it helps me sleep better. “Just because,” you quietly mumble, eyes locked to the ceiling. “Why are you asking me this exactly?”

“Just because,” he mimics. His breathing sounds more prominent as if he’s in the same room, only a few inches away from your ear. It’s the reason why you enjoy talking to him this way instead of taking video calls. You can focus solely on his honeyed voice, almost like a lullaby to your ears. “Can you tell me…” he continues, laced with both hesitation and anticipation, “What else you're wearing?”

“Umm…” You take a deep breath, trying to keep yourself composed. “I don’t think I want to say.”

“Please, Noona.” The sudden desperation in his plead startles you as if he’s losing control of himself, little by little. He seems to notice that too because when he speaks again, it’s steadier, almost formal. “I just… I want to know. If that’s okay.”

“Well…” You curl your toes. “Aside from your shirt, I’m…” Just say it, for God’s sake. He’s your boyfriend. He’s seen you naked. “I’m only wearing my panties.”

There’s a pause that makes your heart thump. “Not, uhh…” Donghyuck wets his lip. “Not even a bra?”

You fiddle with your fingers. “N-no.”

“Fuck.”

You nearly drop your phone. The guttural groan he just emitted from the back of his throat catches you off guard. “Hyuck..?”

“Noona, there’s—” Donghyuck sits up straight, nails nearly sinking to his jean-clad thigh. “There’s something I want to try.” There’s a sense of urgency mixed with minimum self-control. “I-if you don’t mind…”

You know where this is going. “What is it?”

“Just—Just follow my lead, okay?”

You shakily nod your head. When he calls out your name again, you remember that you have to say it in words. “Okay.”

“Can you…” Donghyuck’s heart is beating out of control. His mind desperately tries to answer how the fuck do I start this?! “Can you, umm, lie down on the bed for me?”

You can tell he’s nervous and it’s both reassuring and endearing to know that he’s never done this with anyone else before and probably not mentally ready to do it with you, but tries to go all the way because he knows both of you need to find a way to release all of these pent-up emotions.

You follow his order. “I’m…” You take a deep breath so your voice won’t tremble too much. “I’m lying on my bed.”

Donghyuck always takes a few seconds before answering, as if he’s battling inside his head as he tries to sort out his thoughts. “Is your light turned on?”

“Yes.”

“Turn it off.”

You switch off the button on your bedside lamp. “Okay, it’s off.”

“Okay, mine too.” Then all you can hear is his slightly ragged breathing. “It’s… a bit awkward, isn’t it?” He chuckles nervously, followed by an inaudible, “Fuck, why am I so nervous,” as he’s straying away from the phone.

A smile paints your lips. “You’re adorable.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

When silence strikes, Donghyuck scratches his cheek. “Do you… want to know what I’m wearing?”

You gulp. “S-sure.”

“Well…” Donghyuck takes a look at himself. “I’m wearing a denim jacket, a white shirt, a pair of jeans—I just got back from a photoshoot so—”

So he must look good. “Take them off.”

He’s probably as startled as you are when you hear the words tumbling down your mouth. But even if he is as embarrassed as you are, he doesn’t make it as obvious. “Sure.” A rustling sound can be heard, and you let your imagination wander. You can tell he’s taking off his jacket and soon, his shirt will follow. Donghyuck would always take his shirt off by grabbing the fabric from the back and yank it over his head, instead of crossing his arms at his waist. There’s something masculine about it, but you tend to get more distracted at the way his muscles would contract in his lean stomach. His silver necklace would dangle around his neck, and he’d smirk whenever he caught you staring at him for a second too long.

“My shirt’s off,” he quietly states, snapping you out of your reverie. “Now take yours off—wait! Wait. Leave it on. I want to imagine you wearing my shirt. Just take off your panties.”

“I’m—” It’s so damn hard to focus when you feel so ashamed just by hearing his instructions. “Okay…” Your fingers are quivering when they slide down your stomach, thumb hooking around the hem before you pull your lingerie down to the middle of your thighs.

“Lie down,” he whispers, “Prop a pillow behind your back. Are you comfortable?”

“Y-yeah, just…” You sigh, head going dizzy. “Embarrassed.”

The airy laughter that flows from his mouth is too innocent to be heard in this kind of situation. “So cute. Me too, actually. I’ve never done this before.” When his chuckles have receded, the nervousness grows vivid in his voice once again. “Do you, umm... Do you want to stop?”

You’re supposed to say yes, or at least a bit conflicted about it, so it shocks you when you immediately answer, “No,” without hesitation.

“Thank God.” Donghyuck sighs, smiling softly against the phone. “‘Cause I wouldn’t know what to do if you said yes.” He unbuckles his belt with one hand, taking it off as his heartbeat soars through the roof. “Then, umm… can you spread your legs? As wide as you can.”

You feel so exposed even when no one is looking. Following his guidance, you question, “What about you? What are you doing?”

“I’m…” Donghyuck swallows hard, looking down at the way his hand is pressing against his semi-hardness. “I’m rubbing myself over my pants.”

Fuck, you mentally groan. “Why aren’t you touching yourself directly?”

“Cause I want to wait for you.” He has his eyes closed, hand slipping under the hemline of his jeans, stroking himself over his boxer. “I want to picture you rubbing your fingers on your clit. I want to hear you moan my name when you do.”

Oh my God. “Then guide me,” you plead. There’s something so irresistibly sexy about him touching himself while picturing you pleasuring yourself with your fingers. “Tell me what to do, Hyuck.”

He runs his tongue over his lower lip. The excitement of being able to act as a puppeteer, tugging on your strings, sends all blood rushing south. “Can you push your shirt up? Don’t take it off, just—” He exhales, taking a moment to collect himself after a certain obscene thought of you touching yourself entered his mind. “Just make sure it’s not in the way.”

“Okay.” You grip the hemline of your shirt, pulling it up until it pools above your chest. “Now, what?”

“I want you to touch your breasts.” You’re more aroused by his breathy voice and lustful tone than embarrassed at this point. “Imagine me, Noona,” Donghyuck whispers, and he sounds so close, as if he’s lying down next to you. “Imagine me with my hands on you, caressing your breasts. Can you do that?”

You squeeze your breast, mumbling out a weak, “Yes…” The memory of Donghyuck, embracing you from behind, his naked chest pressed against your spine, hot mouth lazily pressing wet kisses against your nape suddenly comes alive in your mind. You still remember how sexy he sounded moaning out your name as he rocked his hips forward, his fingers exploring around your chest, rubbing and pinching at a certain spot to make you press closer to him in desperation for more of his touch.

“Suck on your fingers, make them wet, then bring them back down.” Donghyuck’s hips are bucking against his hand, his fingers tugging his zipper down. “Imagine my mouth latching on your nipple, sucking it the way I always do. The way you like me to do.”

You bring your fingers to your mouth, coating two of them with saliva before you bring them back down to pinch your sensitive bud. With your eyes closed and his heavy breathing in your ear, the wet sensation of your fingers gives you a clear image of his tongue flicking against your nub.

“Tell me how you feel.”

“It’s not enough,” you croak out, “I want to feel you directly on my skin.”

Donghyuck takes a sharp breath. “You don’t even know how much I want to be there and touch you.” The way his voice suddenly becomes deep sends shivers down your spine. “I want to suck bruises on your skin. I want to mark you everywhere, again and again, so the bruises will last for days. I want you to remember me every time you see yourself in the mirror.”

You sheepishly smile, though your heart is still racing. “I always remember you even without that, Haechannie.”

The sudden change of his name warms his heart. “I wish you’re the only one who calls me that. You make my stage name sounds better, special. I could have thousands of people screaming my name but none of them makes me feel the way you do.” As he slides his hand under his boxer, finally making direct contact with his skin, Donghyuck becomes desperate once again. “Bring your other hand down. I want you to touch yourself, Noona, please.”

You slide your hand between your legs, tentatively rubbing yourself between your folds. “Hyuck…”

“Does it feel good?”

You nod, eyes shut, and your mind wanders. “Yes…”

“Rub your clit for me. And imagine I’m doing that with my tongue.”

You can picture him with his head between your legs so perfectly behind your closed eyelids. He has done it several times and you remember how he would always start slow, placing open-mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh before dipping his head down and swipe his tongue along your folds—all the while never breaking eye-contact. He would press a kiss against your clit, and lick you slowly because he’d want you to beg for it. He never directly told you but you could tell he liked being in control because the second you whispered “Please, Hyuck,” he would immediately indulge you with everything you wanted and more.

Donghyuck would suck hard on your clit, doing it so suddenly that you’d nearly crush him by wrapping your legs too tightly around his head. Amazed and delighted by your reaction, he would break into a smile with his tongue still darting out to taste you, mouth pressing harder against your skin until he plunged his tongue inside your heat.

You moan out his name at the memory, directly to the phone.

“Fuck, baby, you sound so perfect…” Donghyuck nearly whimpers and the word baby stirs something within you as he never called you that before.

“Call me like that again…” You rub yourself harder on the spot you like the most. “Please, Hyuck…”

“Baby…” Donghyuck’s fingers are curling harder around his length, pumping himself in accordance to every gasp and moan you’re emitting. “I wish I could see you—I wish I could lock my eyes with yours as I eat you up. I want to see your face, every single expression you make—I bet you look so cute, so goddamn... erotic.”

Your hold around your phone loosens but fortunately for you, the pillow pressing against it keeps it close to your ear. “Touch yourself,” you breathily murmurs, “I want you to touch yourself too.”

“I am, baby,” Donghyuck softly moans, his fingers tightening around his length. “What else do you want me to do?”

“I want you to stroke yourself harder and run your thumb over your slit.” Donghyuck zealously follows, cursing under his breath at the pleasure. “And I want you to keep doing it until my name escapes your lips.”

“God, I want you.” He repeats your name over and over again, as ordered, with him stroking himself faster each time. “Noona, I want your mouth on me. I want to see you hollow your cheeks around me—like how you did to me when we were backstage, that time after the concert. You looked so pretty that night, so eager—so desperate for me—”

“Me too. I want to make you feel good too. I—” You nip at your bottom lip, feeling goosebumps creeping up your skin when he moans out your name. You’ve always loved his voice, loved it more than anything else in the world, and the sounds he makes when he’s in bed with you is the sexiest thing that even your poor mind can’t even begin to imagine. And now, focusing solely on his voice, listening to his filthy, sinful words, he’s driving you to the edge of your sanity.

“I’ve touched myself before at the thought of you,” he confesses breathlessly, “Several times, even way before we started dating.”

You’re trembling at the thought. “Haechannie—”

“You don’t know just how much—” The sound of him trying to stifle down a moan only makes you crave for him more. “—how much I wanted you back then. How much I want you now. Even during high school, I just—I wanted you—wanted to touch you—wanted—ah fuck,” a whine slipped out his lips, “Wanted to hold you so bad, to make love to you until—”

At the rustling sounds, him whimpering at his touches, and you rubbing yourself on the perfect spot, you know you won’t last long. “H-Hyuck, are you close?”

“Just a little bit more, Noona, ah—” He thrashes his head against the pillow, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallows hard. “Fuck, I need to be inside you. I need to feel you clenching your walls around me.” At the memory of you gazing at him with anticipation building inside your seductive, half-lidded eyes, as you parted your legs to give him permission to ravish you the way he wanted, Donghyuck quickens the pace, thrusting vigorously into his hand. “Fuck yourself with your fingers, baby, please.”

You’re more than keen to follow, inserting one digit inside your heat with another one following soon after. You can visualize him bringing your legs in the air until they dangle over his shoulders, his hips slamming hard against yours with each thrust. “Hyuck—”

“If you were here right now,” he nearly growls, “I would fuck you so hard until you’re mewling my name against the sheets. And I won’t stop, I won’t stop even if you beg me to. I won’t stop until I’m done with you.”

Donghyuck doesn’t sound like he’s trying to dirty talk which only makes it even more arousing to your ear. It’s as if he’s losing control of his mouth, just saying anything that comes to mind. The honesty, the urgency, his breathy, desperate calls of your name between lewd words—

You choke out a sob. “Hyuck—I’m close—”

“Me too—N-noona—Kiss me—”

It’s one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever felt and it’s funny because you never really enjoyed touching yourself before. Donghyuck follows a few seconds after, moaning your name so erotically that will probably give you a hard time falling asleep for days at the thought of it. You’re left dazed, staring at the ceiling with half-lidded eyes. Your phone lays forgotten on the pillow next to you. Mustering all the strength you have left, you reach out for it. “Hyuck…?”

You can hear him breathing heavily. “I’m here,” he says. “Are you okay? Did you get to come?”

“Y-yes.” Now that it’s over, you begin to feel self-conscious again and the heat that blooms on your cheeks nearly wash every bit of your orgasm away in an instant. “Did you?”

“I made a huge mess.” He chuckles, sounding just as embarrassed as you are. “Fuck, didn’t realize it was going to be this good when we started. What would’ve happened if we had Face-Timed each other instead?”

Your head nearly explodes at the thought. “One step at a time, Hyuck. I’m practically dying from shame right now.”

He laughs a little at that. “So, you don’t really oppose the idea? Man, I have something to look forward to then.”

“Shut up, you’re gross. Is this the reason you called me?”

“No,” he hastily says, “I swear, I called because I missed hearing your voice.” Then he thinks about it again. “Well, I mean, I have been thinking about doing, uhh, these kinds of things with you but trust me, it wasn’t the reason why I called.”

“Sure,” you flatly reply, teasing him.

“Yah, yah, yah, it’s your fault for saying that you were wearing nothing but my shirt!”

“It’s your fault for asking me what I was wearing!”

It’s always like this with him. You’re bickering at one point, having sex at another time, then goes back to bickering once again. But it’s endearing, you suppose, because after this, you’ll be murmuring loving words, and just when you begin to think about it, Donghyuck whispers into the phone.

“I love you, Noona. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

And you smile. “I love you too, Haechannie. You’re the second best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“What the hell is the first one?”

“Chicken nuggets.”

“You’re so dead.”

***

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