#SHE'S IS SO

[liquidstar]

i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

#she needs to visit so i can take her to a mall #the food court alone will blow her mind #shes like 14 so claire's and/or justice would probably also blow her mind

[senshigargantuanimplants]

THIS is deux face, a two-headed cow who is 7 (seven!) days old as of writing. She was born on a farm in Louisiana in the US and she is a beautiful miracle. If u want to learn more about her check out this post where I share updates from her farm (last updated: 3/6)

#deux face #coming to my blog to annoy me bc u got upset someone thinks ur gimmick blog isn't funny? look into her eyes #she's doing so well. she's so strong

[opiumvampire]

fuck w me

#my mommys cookie recipe except she makes them peanut butter cookies and i dont like peanut butter so we’re doing sugar cookies #sure hope nothing weird happens

[moveslikekeithrichards]

gertrude

[ID: a picture of an old, grumpy-looking brown tabby cat gazing dead-eyed into the camera.]

#tiddytaco #pets #cats #SHES SO UNPHOTOGENIC god bles .

[lordgolden]

oh god I got a picture of the moon you tumblr bitches are gonna LOVE

#she’s so beautiful #I’ll post it l8r

[thedisablednaturalist]

Im fucking sobbing looking at the new black footed cat at Utah's Hogle zoo

Shes just a fucking baby

Baby with a 60% successful kill rate

#wrenfea.article #theres a video in the article #her name is gaia and shes 8 months #shes part of the AZA breeding program #i now have a reason to visit utah #leetle baby gorl #black footed cat #conservation news #conservation #zoos #animals #also the highest successful kill percentage for big cats is like. 25% #so 60% is fucking crazy

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like. #ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone! #like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate'' #we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

[mevil]

#🌊 #;_; shes so cute

[toadsrbutch]

pym’s soggy sundays are what makes life worth living tbh

#she gets so soggy and has such a good time

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.

But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.

And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.

And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.

#you have to consider the fact that she has no reason to doubt or question the Creche as the easy fix for her problems. #Go there. Get Purified. Done. #and she even wants to make sure that this lot gets treated too. Honestly she is so good to them by Gith standards it's insane #baldur's gate 3 #lae'zel

[vamprisms]

hate when streaming services are like.... you can now pay cinema prices to watch new releases at home! not to show my age but if i am watching it on my tv set then it's free??? you think you're an equal to big picturehouse? with no big screen? no big pop corn? you want to charge cinema price to show me a movey in my own house? Honour demands i kill you btw

#i miss her (video store) every fucking day she wouldn't have dreamt of charging so much to show me a movey in my own house #and she'd sell me a pop corn

[seveneyesoup]

#TO CLARIFY ON THE SECOND POINT: VAMPIRES *HAVE* A REPRODUCTION METHOD THAT IS NOT SEX-BASED #THAT IS THE MAJOR POINT OF THAT ONE. THAT VAMP REPRODUCTION IS BASED ON CONVERTING INTO UNDEAD AND NOT PREGNANCY #what i think i keep coming back to is that a vampire is like. a form of pathogen or perhaps parasite #is the individual vampire meaningfully distinct from that? maybe #sort of a made up question #but that’s not a mammal #so neither is a vampire #but also like. a human is a mammal #this question sponsored by my friend who said she was done keeping mammals bc ‘they have so much fluid in them’ #and my thought that a vampire Wouldn’t #not a lot of fluids. happening there

[ruushes]

sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes 🥺)

plus:

#gale dekarios #shadowheart #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #my art #want to promote a greater shovel presence in the fanbase. where is all the shovel content. where is my beautiful daughter #she is gale's familiar. to me. #he may not necessarily *want* shovel #but it's too late now #he's her wizard it might be more apt to say #tara is not in any way shape or form a familiar she's like. his aunt. #also i have GOT to develop a faster way of making things like i have so many dumb joke ideas i can’t be rendering shit. unsustainable! 😭😭

[sirsheoth]

I kiss you with tongue and as that happens I slide an ibuprofen in your mouth since you have a headache

#this is almost verbatim something I told my partner #she suggested it'd be a good tumblr post so I'm putting it out in the wild #you're welcome #words of sheoth

[thatrandomblogsays]

Annabeth: I, a child, had to earn Thalia’s love, that’s how the world works! I have to earn my moms love. Love is transactional, you gotta be worthy of it first silly :)

Percy, listening to this on the train

#STOP TRAUMATIZING THIS CHILD PLEASE #this is what it’s like when you were raised in a loving home and you find out your friend wasn’t #but they don’t know they weren’t #so you’re like um hey that’s fucked up and sometimes a crime? #you tell them parents are supposed to love you as is without earning it and they don’t believe you #you can hear the therapy bill racking up #annabeth chase #Percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #pjo series #pjo tv show #mine #adding on to my tags because some people are debating if that’s how love works #love is meant to be a mutual exchange and something that grows over time between two people as their bond grows #whereas how Annabeth says it #in my opinion at least #she had to do XY and Z to be worthy of thalias love before receiving it #like with her mother #she has to be amazing before Athena is proud of her #vs Athena being proud of her just for being her daughter #that being said I’m not hating on a traumatized child having potentially negative and toxic patterns #more pointing out the comedy of the scene from Percy’s perspective who has a good grasp on healthy vs unhealthy relationships

[apollos-boyfriend]

we have GOT to kill tiktok/twitter self-censorship i just witnessed a grown adult say the word “smex” out loud to our professor

#icarus speaks #JUST SAY SEX!!! #my proof professor was SO confused too #because she had said sex. other students had said sex. IT IS NOT WRONG TO DISCUSS THAT!!! #WE WERE WATCHING A MOVIE ON FRIDA KAHLO. THIS IS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT