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#SO excited about because i know nothing about them!! entirely fresh content!!
mrsbakashi · 1 year
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Hi! Do you still take requests? I love your headcanons! Can I have (😳) for kakashi from the emoji prompts pls <3
hi, lovely anon! i'm really happy you like my headcanons, they were so fun to write! which is why i wanna thank you for requesting this one - i've been working in five long-heavy projects (because i'm insane) so this one felt like a nice breath of fresh air, plus it was written in like ten minutes AND it gave me the good feeling of finishing something YAY! so thank you!
anyway, i hope you like it!
😳: a confessing headcanon - kakashi
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it all started as a joke between guys, you know. on one night, one of the only few nights kakashi agreed to go to the bar with the other jonins, one he regretted so so so much;
they were sitting at the table, the three of them alone: asuma, gai and kakashi, with asuma having drunk a little more than usual and laughing loudly at gai's awful jokes while kakashi politely turned down whatever it was that they kept offering him;
you were there too, at the back of the bar, talking with shizune and anko, laughing, a bottle in your hands and awkwardly dancing sometimes - truth be told, kakashi only did go so he could have an excuse to watch you having fun, the strong and worried kunoichi you usually were out of sight. it seemed unfair that he never got to see that side of you simply because he's an introvert, so there he was, only because of you;
of course the guys knew he liked you - despite the fact that he was great at hiding his thoughts and feelings, gai knew kakashi too well, so it was pretty obvious for him, so of course he made sure it was obvious for asuma too, because it seemed like such a great idea!
so, you see, gai challenged kakashi. not a silly challenge, like it usually is, but he challenged kakashi to ask you out on a date or he would do it himself - and asuma got in the middle of it saying that, if neither of them did it, then he would do it
kakashi tried to talk it off, and say he didn't know what they were talking about, and that he didn't care, but it only took gai's arm around your waist to make him change his mind - the man was beside you in milliseconds, pulling you away from gai's touch
so gai looked at him and laughed, and then kakashi asked you, with his voice so low you could've dreamed your heard it "hey, i was wondering if you're free tomorrow night?"
"tomorrow night? yes! what do you have in mind?"
"maybe we could, uh, grab something to eat"
he cleared throat, clearly embarrassed, and you thought what a precious view that was - the great copynin, embarrassed, almost shy.
besides the fact that he actually had a date with you, kakashi regretted going to the bar because that took him out of his comfort zone - he was more than content just watching you from afar, interacting with you during missions only, and with the occasional dreams where you would kiss him and smile - and now he'd have to spend time with you and act as if he wasn't dying to kiss you
so you went out on a date. you ate in a nice restaurant, where you drank a little too much because kakashi only nodded to everything you said, and then dropped by the book store to see what was new - i mean, you knew kakashi liked to read, so he'd have to be excited, since he acted so weird during dinner, right? wrong! you showed him a bunch of books, talked on and on about a few others that you read, making entire reviews, and the man could only nod. it was getting on your nerves.
you walked up to your house practically in silence, since you're ran out of subjects to talk about and kakashi apparently lost the ability to speak
it wasn't until he left you at your door that you opened your mouth. "thanks, i had a... good... time tonight."
"i'm glad you enjoyed it."
"oh, so you can talk!"
"i'm sorry?"
"kakashi, come on, i know something's up, i know you. tell me, what's going on?"
"it's nothing."
"tell me. you can trust me."
"it's really... nothing." he took a deep breath, but his eyes were set on your lips.
you opened the door and invited him in for a tea, which he politely turned down. so you insisted, and he turned it down once again.
"ok, since you're not coming in, tell me this: why did you ask me out?"
"oh that, hm, i don't want you to take this the wrong way, but gai challenged me-"
"well, of course he did! ugh, i'm so stupid! you know, i actually thought, well, kurenai made me think, that you asked me out because you, hear this: liked me! ha! what a joke, right?"
he heard the words, but took a while to actually understand them. how could he explain to you that the challenge was a mere excuse? he made you feel like a joke, and that wasn't his intention, not even in a million years.
"i mean, i feel so ridiculous! this is what i get for getting my hopes up and falling in love with kakashi fuckin hatake! well done, y/n!"
those words hit him right away, like a punch straight in his stomach, waking every cell in his body - fall in love with kakashi fucking hatake.
"look, i'm sorry, let's just call it a night, forget i-"
"did you say fall in love?"
you sighed. of course you and your big mouth would get you in trouble. "kakashi, look, i'm drunk, i don't know what i'm saying, just ignore it."
he got your hand to get your attention when you threaten to go inside your house.
"are you or are you not in love with me?"
"kakashi-"
"are you?" - he repeated, but this time there was some sort of urgency in his voice, he sounded almost... angry. you felt your head spin.
"well, duh! show me a woman in this whole damn viallge-no, country! show me a woman in this whole damn country who isn't in love with you and i'll show you a dead woman!"
kakashi laughed, and that felt like the last straw for you - it was one thing that you felt ridiculous given the situation, but it was something completely different that he would laugh at you, specially in your face, as if you weren't feeling bad and awful enough.
"oh, it's so funny isn't it? i thought you were so sweet, but you're actually really mean! i bet you already knew that i have a crush on you, and so did gai, and that's why-"
(un)fortunately you didn't finish your sentence because kakashi kissed you, which made you feel confused, but also happy, with your head spiralling into a million thoughts you couldn't even begin to understand because he was there, kissing you, pulling you impossibly close as if you could merge into each other.
he breaks the kiss so you both can get some air, and rests his forehead on yours, planting a kiss on the tip of your nose. "well, it turns out, y/n, that i'm in love with you too".
"ok." is all you say, trying to make it all make sense inside your head - it wasn't just that you were a little bit tipsy, but more how unrealistic the whole thing felt. like one of your dreams. oh god, how many times you've dreamed about him kissing you on your doorstep and telling you he loved you. there was no way in hell that was real. in a few hours you'd wake up in a empty bed, with a killer headache regretting every single one of your life decisions, specially the ones that would lead you to kakashi again and again. always the same fucking team...
"are you ok?"
you looked up at him, realizing you were too lost inside your own head and he was still there, talking to you, like it was - may god allow it to be true - reality. you slapped your own face, which caused kakashi to look at you confused, but intrigued.
if you were dreaming the slap would've woken you up, right? so if it didn't, and if he was still there it was reality. kakashi hatake was really at your doorstep, telling you he was in love with you. do dreams really come true?
"y/n?"
"i'm ok! just making sure i'm not... you know, dreaming."
"oh, so you have these dreams as well?"
"hold up, you're blowing my mind."
he kissed you again, more gently this time. he wasn't in a hurry. he knew, deep down his heart, that he would spend the rest of his life kissing you from now on.
"do you want to go inside or do you want to spend the rest of the night kissing me on my doorstep?"
send me an emoji prompt and i'll write you a headcanon
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sickficideas · 11 months
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for bsd requests may i propose the idea of some kinda road trip? i think they are such good sickfic content bc they're just trapped in a metal tin can the whole time and there's nothing anyone can do about it
omg absolutely!! thank u for requesting <3<3<3 this got away from me a bit and I also ended up using the rarest of rarepairs lol but I hope it's ok !! i also got another request for bsd road trip sickfic so this is 1/2 hahaha
interruption // tachiaku sickfic
ao3!
Ryuunosuke is really starting to regret this trip.
He's only come along because Gin was so excited about the idea of him coming. She's his weakness. He can never say no to her, not even if it's doing something dreadful like sitting in a car for five and a half hours.
Normally, this isn't an issue. Higuchi drives him places all of the time, but Ryuunosuke is always in the passenger seat. This time, he's given the seat up to Gin so that she can sit with Higuchi up front, who offered to drive them.
Ryuunosuke supposes he never realized until now just how carsick he really gets.
They're chatting about something up front that Ryuunosuke can't focus on at all because of the music. They’ve been driving for about two hours at this point, and the trip is only halfway over. He’s hoping he might get lucky and they’ll stop somewhere so that he can reset for a moment, but he doesn’t want to alert anyone by asking to stop.
"You okay?" Tachihara asks him quietly, as to not alert the girls up front. He’s been quiet most of the drive too aside from quipping into the girls’ conversation, and he’s sat next to Ryuunosuke in the back seat.
He is definitely not okay, but at this point, if he opens his mouth to answer Tachihara, he's certain that vomit will come out before any words do. He's not sure what to do. His head hurts. He feels so sick that he can't focus on anything, and he thinks he might die from embarrassment if he vomits in Higuchi's car, in front of his sister and the guy he may or may not have a massive crush on.
But of course, the universe does not care, and the gag that's forced out of his mouth isn't enough of a warning before he throws up onto the floor mat beneath the seat.
He's mortified. His ears are so hot he thinks they might fall off, and he's shut off everything around him. He knows Tachihara is saying something and he feels his hand on his back, but the words are lost to him. He chokes up another mouthful of vomit and now he's worried about crying too. He never cries in front of people. He can't start doing that while he's also throwing up in the car with all of them.
His arms are wrapped around his middle and he’s doubled over and every other sensation is completely lost to him. He can’t even tell if the car is still moving or not, and his eyes are screwed shut because he’s afraid that looking will make him even more sick, but he’s slightly concerned that opening his eyes will provide him with no sight.
His throat burns so badly and his abdominal muscles are already sore, and he doesn’t feel any better than he did before he threw up. This is such a nightmare. He would rather die than open his eyes right now. Normally he would simply move on and pretend this never happened, but he doesn’t think that’s possible here at all. Not only does he still feel awful, but he’s trapped in this car with nowhere to hide or run off to.
"Hey, hey, can you hear me?" Tachihara says. That's the clearest his voice has been in what feels like at least half an hour. "It's just me. I told the girls to go inside. But they're super worried about you."
Ryuunosuke wants to answer, but he's too scared to open his mouth again. His hands move to cover his face and he’s starting to realize that the car has finally stopped. He isn’t entirely sure what Tachihara means by inside, but he has to assume they’ve stopped somewhere.
Maybe they didn’t notice. That’s a completely delusional thought, but it gets Ryuunosuke to sit up.
"Here, let's get out of the car. You need fresh air," Tachihara says, climbing out of his side to meet Ryuunosuke on the other side.
Ryuunosuke takes his hand. His legs are shaking so much that he can hardly stand on them, and it's making breathing a lot harder, too. He still feels terrible. Never in his life has he been this carsick before, but he doesn’t think he’s ever been in a car for this long, either.
Tachihara doesn’t lead him too far off, just to the hood of the car so he has something to lean on. Ryuunosuke still can’t bear to look at him.
He hears Higuchi’s voice and resists every urge to curl up into Tachihara’s side and pretend he’s not even there, but he has to face the consequences, whether this is something that was completely out of his control or not. Surely there was some way to prevent it.
"Higuchi, I -"
"It's completely fine, I promise," Higuchi says. She’s already completely ahead of him, of course, as always. "I can just throw the floor mat out. It's really not a big deal at all!"
“Are you okay, Ryuu? Do you feel better?” Gin asks, tilting her head in some attempt to get Ryuunosuke to look at her, but he can’t do it. He can feel his face start to get hot again.
“I’m - I’m fine,” he insists, because there’s no other acceptable answer. Clearly, he’s worried her enough.
"C’mon. Let's get you walking around, you'll feel better that way," Tachihara tells him as he takes his wrist and leads him away from the car. “We’ll be back.”
The lights in the gas station are entirely too bright for the headache he’s trying desperately to will away, and the nausea starts to bubble in his throat again. He silently looks around for any sign of a restroom, that way he can at least vomit with some dignity.
He was hoping for privacy too, this time. Ryuunosuke doesn't expect Tachihara to follow him inside, but it must be obvious enough that he's about to vomit again.
He almost collapses completely in front of the toilet but Tachihara manages to keep him upright enough for him to bring up a mouthful of vomit with a weak burp. He’s hardly eaten anything today, but his stomach doesn’t seem to care, it’s simply trying to evacuate any trace of anything to punish him for being in a car for so long. What is he going to do? How is he going to last the rest of the trip? Is he going to feel this sick the entire vacation, too?
"You should've said something. You know Higuchi wouldn't have minded pulling over,” Tachihara tells him. Ryuunosuke has barely registered that he’s knelt beside him with a hand on his back. He really never pegged Tachihara as the type to do this, but he’s sort of glad for it, because it helps, somehow.
He takes a few breaths before he speaks to make sure he's clear to talk without throwing up.
"I didn't want to interrupt them," Ryuunosuke mumbles, gathering a wad of toilet paper to wipe his mouth. His hands are shaking so much that Tachihara has to help him tear it off. "I didn't think…that would happen."
"You looked nauseous to me the whole time, Akutagawa. I'm surprised you even got that far," Tachihara sighs.
Ryuunosuke's shoulders sink. He didn’t think it was that obvious, but apparently, most times he thinks he's hiding any condition of his from these three, they all already know.
He thinks he's okay, now, but he doesn't want to stand up. He decides to sit against the wall beside Tachihara. It's nice to just have solid ground beneath him for a while, not having to worry about moving or walking around.
"I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused," Ryuunosuke tells him. He's not sure how he can repay him for this help. Ryuunosuke doubts he would be anywhere near as helpful if their places were switched. He really is grateful, but he feels equally as guilty.
"It's seriously nothing. I'm sorry you're the one who's gotta feel like shit," Tachihara tells him. Ryuunosuke's getting sort of distracted by his eyes. Tachihara says something to him again, but he doesn't hear it, he's lost for a handful of seconds. He's only taken out of it because he feels Tachihara's hand on his forehead. "You don't feel all that warm, you okay?"
"Ah - I'm sorry," he stammers, embarrassed as he turns his head away, "I supposed I'm just out of it…"
Tachihara seems to want to say something, but he's interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket.
"Hold on. Higuchi's calling me," he says, answering the call. Ryuunosuke hears the woman's distressed voice but he can't catch what she's saying. "Oh, sorry. We're in the bathroom,"
"Suspicious," she says, Ryuunosuke catches that much, and his ears start to feel hot again.
"Okay, hey, no. We'll be out in a second," Tachihara grumbles before hanging up. He stands up and offers a hand to Ryuunosuke. "I'll help you up, you're still not super steady."
Ryuunosuke turns his head but takes the hand and Tachihara helps him off of the floor. It's sort of dizzying, maybe he should have taken it slower, but Tachihara takes his arm to steady him.
"You okay, Akutagawa?" he asks, uncomfortably close to Ryuunosuke's face. He just nods and turns his head away, hoping that Tachihara won't notice how red his face must be.
Tachihara says he'll buy them some waters and orders Ryuunosuke to go back outside and get some fresh air, which he certainly doesn't have any objections to. He doesn't entirely remember where they parked, but he spots Gin and Higuchi leaning on the hood of her car. They're giggling about something. Ryuunosuke's glad he didn't ruin their time entirely. He wishes they would just pretend nothing happened, but they've never been the type to do that.
Gin takes notice of him first as he approaches the car, and any bit of a smile that was on her face before is wiped off. She looks so concerned. Ryuunosuke wishes he could wipe her memory.
“I’m sorry,” Ryuunosuke manages to say as he turns his eyes away.
"No apologizing," she insists.
"It's really not a problem," Higuchi chimes in. Ryuunosuke's grateful she feels that way, but he's not quite sure he can agree.
"I found this inside. You should take one," Gin says as she hands him something from her jacket pocket. It's a medication labeled for motion sickness. "We'll wait half an hour so it has some time to work."
"Oh…thank you, Gin," he says quietly. He didn't even know this was a thing.
"I don't remember you going to the register," Higuchi says, sounding rather suspicious.
Gin doesn't say anything, but her silence heavily implies she stuffed it into her sleeve and slipped out.
"You're so scary. There's so many cameras in there," Higuchi groans, but of course, Gin is a professional shoplifter. She doesn't even bother to address the accusation, she takes the sheet that Ryuunosuke is struggling to open and pops out one of the tablets for him.
"We don't have to wait. I don't want to be the reason we're late for something," Ryuunosuke says after he swallows the tablet. He doesn’t think he’s quite ready for it yet, honestly, but he feels guilty holding everyone up. Besides, he’s almost certain he has nothing left in his stomach to bring up, anyway.
"We didn’t plan anything today because of the drive,” Higuchi assures him. Ryuunosuke realizes they won’t let him feel guilty no matter what.
Tachihara appears with a few water bottles and hands them off to the group. Ryuunosuke gingerly takes it. He’s not sure he really wants to drink any, but Tachihara takes it from him to open the cap and hand it back, giving him no choice.
They loiter in front of the car for a while, and Ryuunosuke ends up sitting on the pavement to lean against the front of the car while the three of them talk. He feels better, he thinks, but his body aches and there’s a dull throb in the back of his head. The cool evening breeze eases it just enough to where it’s not causing too much of a problem. He’s starting to get tired.
"Do you feel better? Your color's starting to come back," Gin notices, suddenly knelt down in front of him. He hasn’t paid much attention to the time passing, but the half-hour Gin mentioned must be up already.
Ryuunosuke simply nods.
“Okay. Please tell me if you’re not feeling good, okay? Tug on my sleeve or something. Or text me, I’ll keep my phone on,” Gin tells him. Ryuunosuke really feels terrible for how much he’s worried her. “You can sit up front instead.”
“No - no, it’s fine,” he insists. “I’ll try to rest in the back. I’m starting to feel tired.”
Gin pouts. “Are you sure?”
Ryuunosuke nods again, and Gin helps him off of the ground. 
He climbs back into the seat he was in before and finds that the floor mat really is gone. He tries to ignore the thought as much as possible because his brain is trying to convince him he’s nauseous again at the memory of how he threw up earlier. He needs to focus on something else. He needs to try to sleep, if he can -
"You can lay down, if you want to," Tachihara says. Higuchi’s turned the car on and Gin is getting something out of the back, and she calls her over. So now it’s just them, for a few seconds.
Ryuunosuke isn't sure he can even do that without getting in Tachihara's way. There's not much room in the back, unless he lays his head in Tachihara’s lap. That’s not what he’s implying, is it?
“Are you - “
Tachihara’s hand snakes behind Ryuunosuke’s head and gently lowers him down so that his head lays in his lap, and it’s not much different from finally lying in bed after a needlessly long day - he feels relaxed. Safe.
"Thank you," Ryuunosuke says quietly. He's already starting to feel tired. He's not sure if he's just exhausted from his whole ordeal, or if it has something to do with the way Tachihara rakes his fingers through Ryuunosuke's hair - he's going to pretend he doesn't feel a certain way about that.
Ryuunosuke manages to fall asleep before Higuchi even pulls the car out of the parking lot.
"He has a huge crush on you," Ryuunosuke hears Gin say in a moment where his brain briefly wakes him back up. "And you better be nice to him. He's going to be embarrassed about this for the rest of his life."
"Have I not been nice to him? Ugh," Tachihara says. Ryuunosuke isn’t sure how much time has passed, but Tachihara’s hand is still on his head, patting it every now and then. He tunes out the conversation as it continues and manages to fall asleep again, hoping he imagined Gin telling Tachihara his secret.
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French (📯/💋)?
seungmin x fem!reader (past/current French horn player)
!!!NOT ENTIRELY PROOFREAD!!!!
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Writer's note:
so I myself am a French horn player (band kid of 5 coming 6 years), and just today I learnt a VERYYY interesting fact about fh players (and I think basically all brass players/band members);
apparently we're known to be good kissers 👀
then I remembered jeongin's cover in The Sound's album cover where he was holding a french horn (wrongly, may I add😭), and I started thinking; what if seungmin had a partner that was or is a fh player, and he found out about the kissing thing? (I spent the rest of the day daydreaming about this oddly specific concept)
!!no particular reason for choosing seungmin!! I just thought he might tease this kind of thing :'))
ADDITIONALLY! This is like my first ever fanfic so please bear with my crappy writing ;')
content upcming below the cut: established rs w idolseungmin, bestie jeongin for like a minute, fluff, mentions of making out, slight sexual tensions???
You were lounging on the couch of your boyfriend's shared apartment with his friends when you heard the door open. Lazily twisting your neck around to glance at the entrance, your eyes lit up when seungmin's figure approached the shoe cabinet next to the doorway. You padded over in excitement and saw his friend Jeongin had arrived home as well.
"Seung, you're back¬"
You pulled him into a hug and he laughed while leaning over to give you a kiss on the cheek. Jeongin rolled his eyes and muttered something between the lines of "get a room" and "seungmin you're stepping on my shoes". You looked behind the two boys, and saw no other members, so you assumed they had stayed out to do extra work.
The three of you entered the living room together, seungmin and jeongin collapsing on the couch the moment they did. It wasn't odd for them to be so burnt out, especially after they spent an entire day out being idols. You knew how mentally and emotionally taxing the workload could be, so who could blame your boyfriend and your bestie for their fatigue? You slid onto the couch next to the 2 exhausted idols.
"You guys seem especially tired. What was on your schedule today?"
"Album cover photoshoot for our newest album...We had to pose with actual instruments."
Jeongin replied, still showing no signs of getting up from the beige couch anytime soon. Seungmin rolled his eyes at him.
"Yeah, i.n. here got into an argument because of his prop...something about holding it the wrong way."
"Really? What instrument was it?"
"It was a french horn I think? i.n. was really confused by it."
"Y/N, didn't you play it last time? I swear I heard you mention it before."
Your eyebrows raised at jeongin's question. He was right. Having been in your primary and secondary school's band, you had played the french horn for 8 years, and had even played a little every now and then in university. And, not to brag, but you were pretty good at it too.
Seungmin turned to you, a look of surprise on his face.
"Really? You did? Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?"
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"Its just an instrument! Not really relevant information in my opinion."
Seungmin grumbled and tackled you into the couch, earning a yelp from you.
"It is to me¬ I wanna know everything about you, sweetheart."
You playfully fought back as jeongin slowly started backing away from the two of you, a look of disgust plastered on his usually smiling face.
A few days passed by after that conversation, and you had honestly thought nothing about it, until seungmin entered your shared room one night.
You were reading a novel when he entered the room, fresh out of a shower. His short brown locks were sopping wet, droplets of water dripping and leaving dark stains on his grey sweater; obviously seungmin hadn't made an effort to dry this hair. He plopped into bed next to you, silently screwing up his nose in annoyance when you didn't immediately pull him in for cuddles. You looked away from your book to see him sulking next to you, and smiled.
"What?"
"You're ignoring me."
"Well, fun fact; your girlfriend doesn't exactly enjoy cuddling with soaking-wet puppies."
Hearing this, he playfully punched your shoulder, continuing to scooch closer to you. There was a mischievous look on his face, and you discreetly pulled over a pillow with your free hand, your past experience with that expression anticipating you for a surprise pillow fight.
"Well...let me tell YOU a fun fact too."
He sat up and slid his arms around your waist, pulling your back into his warm chest. You rolled your eyes and tossed the book to one side, giving in to him. "And what would that be?"
"After our conversation with i.n. a few days ago, I happened to do some research on french horn players, and I found some very interesting facts¬"
"Yeah?? Out with it already, the suspense is killing me."
"Mm, say please?"
"Seungmin!! You need to stop watching chan's streams!"
He chuckled, the low sound vibrating in his chest and against your back.
"So apparently...experienced french horn players, or basically any brass players, are known to be especially good at kissing."
You blinked a few times at him. What the hell? Actually, that would've made a lot of sense. Based on what you've learned from your 8 years of experience, brass instrument players had to have VERY good lip and tongue control. And since french horn is one of the few brass instruments that require a relatively smaller mouthpiece, your mouth control was particularly well-trained. It had to be.
You grinned like a loon and swiftly turned around to pin seungmin to the bed's headboard. He widened his eyes in pleasant surprise.
"Really? Care to help me test that theory?"
Hearing this, seungmin's lips spread into a cheeky smirk. He extended a hand and caressed your jawline.
"Gladly."
WHABSGUDGAG I SWEAR THIS CONCEPT CAME OUT BETTER IN MY HEAD 😭😭😭😭😭
hopefully this story's decent enough for my fellow seungmin stans and/or fh players,,,it would be really awkward if it wasn't (crying rn)
also to any Stay thats a brass instrument player (current or past), is the kissing thing actually true? My aroace ass has like zero exp with that kinda thing T.T
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maeve-on-mustafar · 1 year
Note
I mean this kindly, but if the thought of writing a fic and not getting a certain number of kudos is legitimately that stressful for you, I think you might want to consider taking a break from writing fics—or at least, publishing them. You could spend some time just writing to write—not to go online—and maybe that would help you to overcome your focus on stats? It just seems like it’s making you miserable, and while I understand it’s your unique experience, some of the ways you talk about it can come across as disparaging to other writers, especially if they’re excited about getting less kudos than you personally deem a success.
It's a good suggestion, anon, but I already took a break from the beginning of May to the end of October, and it didn't help. In the end, I just felt guilty for neglecting my writing for such a long time, and then increasingly awful when I realized that everyone around me in fandom had continued to produce content and get recced and become known and just generally make progress while I wasted time not writing. And it's time I can never get back.
I just don't know what to do anymore or how to feel better about my writing. Usually, I feel pretty low about it, and like my fics are doomed to fail, but I like an idea enough that it can motivate me to keep writing anyway. But recently, I don't can't summon up that same energy. I just feel like any fic I write is doomed to fail, period. And no matter of liking the idea can convince me to sit down and write it, because I've been here before and I fail every time, and I just don't know why.
I just desperately want to have a place in fandom, but I feel like I'll never have one. I so badly want to make friends, but I'm awkward and bad at reaching out to people and no idea if I'll seem weird or overbearing by DMing them. I try to write Jedi Positive fic, and it gets ignored, even by the people who claim it's what they're desperate to see. I have fics I want to write, like my idea about Anakin being the Padawan of the entire Jedi Council, but my Mace Windu fics already don't recced or noticed by the people clamoring for positive content about the character, so I have to assume if I wrote this fic and posted it, people would just ignore it as well.
I'm just so tired. I wish I knew what I lacked as a writing so I could know and work on it instead of constantly wondering why no one thought my fic was worth reccing and not having an answer. I wish I didn't have to feel the fresh anxiety every time I started a fic of if anyone was going to find something valuable about this one or not or if it was just a waste of time and energy that no one else is going to spare a thought about.
And everyone else around me seems to have some secret where they can always keep going no matter what kind of reception they get, or their fics are beloved and constantly recced even if they're not a BNF. And I'm not either one of those types of people, and nothing I try to do seems to help me become one of those kinds of people, and I just feel like I have no chance of success in fandom. And I don't know why, because I keep trying, but I just can't convince anyone to give my fic a chance, and it honestly just makes me want to give up.
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I’m not entirely sure why this wouldn’t leave my brain but it demanded to be written and I’m happy with it even though it’s a bit longer than I thought it would be.
TLDR: Basically Shouta has been bullied for who he is, he changes himself and stays that way until izuku comes along, changes everything and they fall in love.
(Content warning: bullying, slight mention of a panic attack, self deprecating thoughts)
As a child and even when he was a teenager, Shouta would be bullied for the way he’d smile and talk. Children at school would think he was creepy for the way he smiled and made fun of how he expressed himself. Adults would do next to nothing to stop them, it would range from them uselessly shaking their head but saying/doing nothing or they’d participate in furthering Shouta’s misery for their entertainment.
It got so bad that he eventually forced himself to change because he no longer wanted to deal with how melodramatic and cruel people were. Consequently, deciding to no longer smile as he usually would. It turned into an uptick of the corners of his mouth if something made him smile/laugh and the usual excitement you’d hear in his voice when he would talk about something that gave him joy, or he wanted to ramble about was gone. He forced himself to sound monotonous and tried to act like he didn’t care because he felt that he wouldn’t be hurt and at first it was rather difficult.
Over the years it’s gotten easier to suppress who he is and though he mourns what he’s lost, he finds he would rather be called a cold and unfeeling person because he finds that easier to deal with than the mocking he’s experienced.
However, this changes when he meets and gets to know Izuku who’s like a breath of fresh air. For the first time in a long time, he feels his smile wanting to grow bigger than the usual uptick of his mouth, and he either slaps his hand to his mouth to cover it (which he’s now stopped doing because sweet Izuku got concerned he may hurt himself with the force of the slap as well as how loud it was) or he turns his face sideways lips twitching and desperately trying to think of something unfunny, but it doesn’t work so his lips are pinched together (an action he finds himself doing a lot of, due to how often he’s with Izuku).
At first, he doesn’t understand why he’s been wanting to smile and laugh so much because he’s heard funny things that other people have said, and he’s seen how passionate people get when they talk about something they enjoy, but he’s never reacted like this and it seems to be only around Izuku that he does, which he’s finding he doesn’t mind all that much.
He’s spent so long trying to perfect this cold persona he’s created and is taken aback at how effortlessly and quickly Izuku tore down his walls like it was as easy as breathing. Since Izuku’s came into his life, he’s been struggling to not fully grin whenever he sees Izuku’s infectious sunshine smile or hears him him talk. If you were to ask what a younger Shouta would want in a person whether that be a friend or something more, he would describe Izuku to a T.
As they’re getting to know each other, they’re learning about each other’s hobbies as well as their likes/dislikes. Izuku went above and beyond and did research, so he could ask interesting questions because he liked listening to Shouta talk. When Izuku had started asking these questions, Shouta couldn’t help but answer with a lot more words than he usually would but he got so excited and he just lit up. Considering how it’s the first time in a long time that Shouta has allowed himself to ramble yet he doesn’t realise it at first, but then started noticing the telltale signs of his elevated heart rate, the fact that he was speaking a lot quicker than his usual voice would be and that you can clearly tell that there’s excitement in his voice when normally he’d be speaking in a dulled voice.
He acknowledges just how much he’s missed being able to talk so freely and excitedly, and realises that he feels safe doing this around Izuku because he’s watching him and Izuku looks interested in what he’s saying and he isn’t being rude about how much and how long Shouta’s been talking for. As for Izuku, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Shouta, he practically had hearts in his eyes and anyone that looked at him could tell how obvious he was being. As Shouta’s rambling, he starts to diverge onto subtopics and not once does Izuku look bored, in fact he looks as delighted as Shouta feels.
In turn, Shouta decides to plan a trip to go to Izuku’s favourite museum together because he wanted to listen to Izuku ramble about his interests and it doesn’t hurt that Izuku’s so pretty with eyes that glitter like jewels when he’s happy and that’s all Shouta wants to do, make Izuku happy any way he can because he adores him just as Izuku does him.
They go and it’s truly an unforgettable experience. See Shouta’s seen Izuku ramble but never this much it’s utterly endearing, he can’t help but whine on the inside at how unfairly gorgeous Izuku is when he’s truly happy and marvels at just how smart the man he’s fallen for is, that he murmurs, “before I met you I didn’t think I could ever be so happy, but every time I see you, you prove me wrong each time. You’re the light of my life and it’s an absolute pleasure to have you in it.” When Izuku hears that he tears up and kisses his cheek softly, confessing how much he loved today as well as getting to spend it with Shouta and also sharing how grateful he is that they met.
They don’t officially ask each other to be exclusive but as soon as their hands reach for each other and don’t let go until they have to go to their respective homes, they know they belong to each other in every way two people can be.
One day when they’re having a quiet night in watching telly, there’s an upsetting scene about a child being bullied for who they are that comes up that forces Shouta to remember his own experiences with being bullied and gets upset.
Izuku obviously hating that Shouta is upset, switched the telly off and asks him if he needs proximity, touch or space or if he’d like a blanket to wrap himself in along with a bottle of water. Shouta quietly says he needs a hug and then just collapses on Izuku’s chest with Izuku’s arms encasing him with a feeling of warmth and security.
Every now and then, Izuku will kiss his forehead and pet his hair with one hand while the other strokes his back. Eventually Shouta settles and feels slightly better, enough to start talking about why he reacted that way and what he went through when he was younger (the reason why he’s able to do this and is able to give detail is because 1) he feels like he can trust Izuku and 2) he would never have the courage to try to explain it all with Izuku looking at him).
Izuku listens quietly, heart breaking at the thought of a younger, smaller Shouta who would smile and was so excited until it was forcefully snuffed out because people were cruel and the fact that felt he had to change himself so much because of how terrible people were to him.
When Shouta stops talking and just rests his head on Izuku’s chest, Izuku takes time to think about how he’s going to respond to this and then starts to speak, “First of all, I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. You did not deserve what happened to you. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. You didn’t deserve any of it. Secondly, I want to say thank you for trusting me and opening up about this.”
And Shouta who up until now hadn’t heard those words from anyone, didn’t realise just how much he needed to hear that and starts to crying partly in grief and relief. Grieving the person he once was and how he wants it back so badly but isn’t sure how to go about doing that because he’s so used to acting a certain way. Yet, he feels so much relief at how Izuku reacted, he knows how good of a person Izuku is but it’s also massively reassuring that if he needs to talk about something that’s affecting him, he’ll be met with patience, love and understanding and hopes Izuku knows that he’d provide the same for him (spoiler Izuku does!).
Ever since then, they’ve gotten closer and more open with each other about their pasts and how it’s shaped them. They also discuss coping mechanisms, any potential triggers because neither want to set the other off, and also if there are any ways they can help the other if they become triggered by something.
One day when they’re hanging out together, Izuku says something so outlandish that they both can’t help but laugh. Shouta doesn’t realise that this is the first time he’d left his mouth uncovered when he laughed until he notices Izuku just staring at him in quiet awe. He feels pretty bashful, he’s sure the tips of his ears and cheeks are rosy pink. Izuku, who up to this point had only heard huffs of breath that resembled laughter or Shouta laughing through his nose, was mesmerised by the sound. He’d laughed, and if Izuku could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have.
Izuku’s so happy and overcome with joy, he peppers Shouta’s face in kisses and gushes about how wonderful his smile is.
because! that’s! his! man! and! Shouta! has! a! beautiful! smile! and! he! loves! it! so! much!
Following Izuku seeing Shouta’s smile, he compliments it every chance he gets (he doesn’t go overboard or try to overwhelm too much because he never wants to cause Shouta discomfort).
The insecurities unfortunately don’t magically go away but the voice inside of his head that goes ‘don’t smile it’s creepy you don’t want to creep out Izuku do you’, ‘don’t ramble, Izuku’s not interested in hearing you talk about something you found interesting, he has better things to do with his time than listen to you it’s embarrassing how excited you get’ or some other mean variation of that gets quieter and quieter with every reassurance and compliment Izuku gives him, which is reinforced by how many questions Izuku asks as well as him referencing something Shouta said a few weeks ago in their current conversation which shows just how much Izuku has been paying attention.
Izuku on the other hand is so proud of how far Shouta has come, and the fact that he can feel comfortable enough and safe enough to ramble to his heart’s content, use his real smile and laugh without any reservations makes Izuku treasure it that much more. During a quiet evening walk, Izuku comes to a realisation about how deep his feelings go for Shouta. Overwhelmed with emotion, Izuku blurts out “I love you” because he truly does and just wanted to let Shouta know out loud that he’s loved and cherished. Shouta is baffled but ultimately elated and starts tearing up and smiling so wide his cheeks ache but he doesn’t care. He sweeps Izuku off his feet and into his arms and his voice breaks as he says, “thank you for loving me as I am, I love you with every part of me” and they cry together and it’s beautiful.
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keicordelle · 10 months
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An Arrangement of Convenience, Ch. 1
Fandom: FFXIV Rating: E Pairing: Estimeric Word Count: 3.2k Tags: Pre-Canon, Temple Knights Days, Friends with Benefits, First Time Together, Awkwardness, Relationship Discussions, Establishing Boundaries, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Consent, Oral Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, POV First Person, POV Aymeric de Borel
Summary: Before they were the Lord Commander and the Azure Dragoon, they were Temple Knights. Before they were lovers, they were friends. Before their feelings grew into something more, they came together when there were no other options, in an arrangement established entirely out of convenience and mutual attraction.
Aymeric knows full well he's not the only man in the world attracted to other men, but he never expected his best friend to reveal that not only is he aware of Aymeric's preferences, but he shares them. When Estinien proposes that they might find pleasure with each other when the need arises, the offer seems to come straight out of Aymeric's fantasies. If they could maintain such an arrangement without ruining their friendship, it would be everything he'd ever dreamed of... But if they couldn't, he risked losing the only friend he'd ever had who saw him as more than a novelty. Because once he said yes, one way or another, everything was sure to change.
-
The heat of the fire sank into my bones, the scent of cooking meat making my stomach clutch painfully with hunger. Only a week stationed out in the far reaches of the Coerthas Western Highlands, with three more yet to go, and already the scant rations and the chill wind of imminent winter coming down from the mountains ate at my sanity. This was a test of some sort, I was certain, meant to force me from the ranks of the Temple Knights, or perhaps merely another attempt to punish me for the circumstances of my birth. Our new commander was a bitter man from House Durendaire who seemed to hate me for no other reason than that, and no amount of proof that I was skilled in my own right let him see past the shadow of my father.
At least I'm suffering in good company. I dropped down next to Estinien, offering the surly dragoon a hunk of hard bread while we waited for the meat to cook, a dozen yalms back from the rest of our group. Despite his standoffish exterior, we'd grown friendly in the past year, and I came to look forward to any assignment where he was part of the unit. He was surprisingly kind and gentle beneath all the blood and smoke he shrouded himself in, and that he had taken to seeking me out as often as I did him served as steadfast reassurance that I wasn't merely pestering him with my attention. Any longer, at least.
He passed me his flask of spiced wine, and I swallowed a mouthful, relishing the burst of flavor across my tongue. When at last the meat was ready, we ate in companionable silence, more interested in stuffing our faces with the only fresh meat we'd seen in a week than rehashing the day's skirmish. Estinien vanished shortly after, likely to hone his body and his lance, as was his wont. Some days I would join him, but the ache in my side from a particularly vicious blow across the ribs earlier today convinced me that perhaps I should rest tonight instead.
I fell back in with the rest of our squad, chatting about nothing and grinning along with them as they joked about tavern wenches and what they'd rather be doing with their nights. Though the topic of conversation appealed little and less to me, you would not have guessed it by my expression; I found it to be of the utmost importance to maintain a good relationship with my fellow soldiers, and if that meant agreeing that the Vimaroix girl was blossoming into quite the beauty, then so be it.
No matter that I did not understand what these men saw in a woman that so intrigued them. Never had the thought of soft breasts excited me, and I could look on the women at the bathhouse without so much as a twitch in response, unlike most of my peers. I'd much rather watch the roll of sweat down the column of a man's spine, the thin trail of hair that disappeared into the waist of his trousers, the flex of his forearm on his weapon…
-
Read the rest on Ao3!
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A cockatrice closed its eyes as it rested over its eggs.
 A basilisk hissed contently.
 A manticore’s three heads stopped fighting and fell silent. Indeed, the creatures no sane hunter would actually try to find, many of whom the humans so close didn’t even know of, fell silent as a song drifted between the trees. Some were specifically there because of the music, others being introduced for the first time. The eldest of the woods knew the schedule though and were curious about why it was today. They were calmed by the flash of red that skipped amongst the gnarled branches of their domain. It was like a speck of light on a canvas of black and yet none sought to disturb it. Not when their song was even stronger than the first stranger to the trees.
 Luz’s song only grew stronger as she bounced into the one true clearing of the deep woods. They had earned their name after all because most thought of them as irreversible. Trying to mark the trees seemed to never last, the lack of sun from the dense canopy meant that you couldn’t even always see what was before you and the trees never seemed to end as they were thick and large, making where the dirt and roots began and ended blur. Those who found the rare spots where they did never came back to tell of the monster’s den that they had stumbled upon.
 And yet here, faint traces of light illuminated a small cottage that was free of the trees. Or, the untrained eye would assume as much. If you looked closer at the floor of the clearing, you could see that the floor wasn’t entirely natural. After all, trees didn’t grow sideways. The branches you stepped on should not be as alive as they were or their leaves as fresh. Nor should they wrap around your ankles as you glided over them. Luz only paused slightly though before leaning down and whispering in a sing song tone, “I know you’re excited to see me as always but I need you to calm down and…” She took in a deep breath and felt the thick air of the deep woods fill her being as she sang out, “Just keep on breathin’ and breathin’ and breathin’...”
 The vine tensed around her for a moment but then indeed seemed to breathe out as it relaxed and let go of Luz. Luz smiled at it before patting it on the head and then finishing making her way up the steps to her mother’s cottage. She then rapped her knuckles on the door before chirping out, “Who can take a sunrise… Sprinkle it with you… Cover it in icing and a miracle or two, the baker girl can!”
 Almost as if in response, the door opened itself for Luz and she smiled as she saw her mother busy at work like usual. Today she had a baby black drake bathing in her cauldron as the roots of the cottage, which was more clearly made out of a dozen trees intertwined together from inside, brought her the ingredients she wanted. Before one could grab the salamander tongues, Luz’s hand snatched the jar with them so she could bring them to her mother herself. “Something to warm up this little guy’s bath?”
 Camila smiled warmly at her daughter before putting two fingers on the jar. “This little guy killed a tree when he crashed through the canopy unfortunately so I’ve got plenty of wood for the cauldron. Still, you should give Sally a few pets.” “Yes mom!” Luz immediately squatted down to see the little salamander that always slept under the cauldron. Sally donated her tongues in return for getting a safe place to sleep ever since her den got invaded by a water elemental who liked the hot tub they had. Not that they actually hurt Sally. Camila was too good of a druid to need to do anything like that. Luz still had a ways to go before her healing was that strong. She could at least make sure she didn’t get burned though as she sung, “Little man, you’re nothing like me; lying, cheating, so decieving. I trusted you, broke me down, then you messed me over. Don’t try to deny it, you cannot fight it, I’ll be ignited when I get to watch you-”
Luz’s magic fortunately didn’t break as she grit her teeth. She then looked down at Sally to see the little, speckled lizard biting her palm. She simply shouted, “WHY!?” before pulling her hand out. Camila sighed as she patted Luz’s head. “You know Sally doesn’t like when you belt, let alone when you make fire puns.” Luz pouted for a moment before grinning and saying, “It’s not my fault that my humor’s a little too hot for he- DON’T TRY TO LIGHT MY SHOES ON FIRE!” 
 The salamander hissed at her as the wood grew to smother the bit of molten spit that Sally had let out. Camila wrapped an arm around Luz before enchanting the ladle she was using to mix the cauldron so she could let go of it. She then hugged her daughter properly before asking, “So, do you want to tell me why you didn’t show up when you usually do?”
 Luz pulled her red cloak in tighter on herself to make sure the stitches Boscha gave her weren’t showing. She didn’t want her mom to worry about her after all. Her mom already worried plenty about the fact that Luz genuinely liked to sing so hiding her magic was harder for her than it frankly had to be. Not that she didn’t like how she could soothe Boscha with a simple hum or ease Eda’s hangovers with a lullaby. She had magic so so long as she didn’t make it that obvious, why shouldn’t she use it to help those around her? “Oh, uh, well you know how wasted Eda can get sometimes? She kind of almost destroyed the ovens so I wasn’t going to be able to bring any sweets with me if I came early.” 
 Camila took in a long, deep breath before bluntly asking, “Would you like to repeat that knowing that Flapjack and Pancake came to me after you met a new ‘friend’?”
 Luz paled at the question before shouting, “I swear it’s not anything major! I mean yes she got me good but then another wolf stopped by today and didn’t seem to want to hurt me but then again Boscha was with me and gave me this knife that’s really scary and big and I’m pretty sure is more a danger to me than anyone else but I know how much knives mean to Boscha and how much it means that she’d give me one but does it make me look more dangerous or is it not a real knife and I’m going to be laughed at for i-”
 She was only stopped by one of the roots inside the house bopping her on the head. Luz whimpered slightly as she rubbed her skull before mumbling, “Thank you, Manny.”
 The roots massaged Luz’s head and something about it helped her relax. Honestly, just being in the house brought her a peace she didn’t get elsewhere. It’s part of why she always wished she could bring Boscha here. Let her know the whole truth about who she was. Maybe then she wouldn’t feel so weird laying beside her best friend…
 Camila let go of Luz with a sigh. “Of course she would give you a knife.” Camila bit the side of her cheek before asking, “I’m assuming that means Boscha wants to hunt down the wolf and kill her?”
 “No!” Luz raised her hands up to try and calm her mom down. She knew that Camila didn’t exactly approve of Boscha as her best friend. She thought the huntress was a bad influence. That she was a little too connected with the community whereas Eda was both on the edge of town and had an open secret that she was not nearly as Christian as she claimed to be. The Hunter’s Guild actively enraging the forest three years ago didn’t help either, no matter how many times Luz made it clear that Boscha was  never  going to join them. “She accompanied me to keep me safe but she didn’t bring her bow and she only hunts with her bow!”
 Camila took a breath in to ask the obvious question of what she had planned to do with the gun then but she didn’t want to fight with her daughter. Not today. Instead, “Care to hear a song that will easily drive wolves away? It’s a little high for me but-”
 “-I believe in a thing called love!” Luz then giggled a bit as she added, “Even if it buys me a one way ticket to hell and back.”
 Camila just stared at her daughter for about a solid minute before sighing and whispering, “I really wish I knew where you got all of these… interesting songs of yours.”
 “You’ll just have to come into town for that!” She didn’t push anymore than that though or even waited for her mom to respond. She knew better at this point than to expect her mom to ever leave the hut, even if her mom refused to tell her why she never left. Instead, she shifted topics as she asked, “Now, are you ready for your mind to be BLOWN!? Because Eda and I started making a new type of scone that tastes like oranges and milk together and they’re the  best ! It’s not perfect because we’re still needing to figure out quite the right balance, what sort of icing compliments it best and they’re falling apart a little too easy but-”
 To which Camila smiled. After all, as much as she’d love her daughter to just be a druid like her and stay at home, how excited she got about her baked goods was just… Well, it made it clear that Luz had enough room in her heart for at least two loves and Camila had long ago given up on trying to change her daughter. Not when Luz’s excitement was all too infectious.
==========
The thought for Luz's singing is ABSOLUTELY "Why not?" instead of anything else. It's just more fun that way.
For people who are curious what the songs were:
Breathin' by Ariana Grande
Candyman by Sammy Davis Jr.
Burn by Papa Roach
I Believe in a Thing Called Love and One Way Ticket to Hell (And Back) by The Darkness
Those on Twitter might know I was considering a different song. It may come to grace this story eventually. XD My Twitter for those who want to follow me.
https://twitter.com/MDHWrites
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monsterkissed · 1 year
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⭐⭐ literally talk about anything in BNGN you've been dying to talk about, but if it helps to pick: tell me about those egypt-era scenes in the recent chapters
oh Very good choice
so those scenes were in the outline from p much day one, but they've been moved a lot earlier than they originally were! there are a couple reasons for this including but not limited to one chapter getting split (the only time, miraculously, that i have ever done so) and a few technical re-jiggers in a certain very tech-heavy prologue, but also because i want to do something mean later and i didn't want it to be fighting for attention against those two scenes.
obviously the doppio reveal is star of the show, that's been percolating for a While and i was incredibly excited to finally put it down. there is a point with bngn where it crosses over from intuiting from canon backstory scraps into my own attempts to weave a whole Thing together and that scene is really the point of no return in that regard, it shuts down a lot of ambiguity. there are a lot of hints throughout the 2nd act that the very first chapter of the fic has been a cruel and sneaky trick, but it gets really explicit there (tho bc it's me i think the first line directly referencing the "real" doppio prologue is all the way back in chapter 9). i really liked taking a little break to focus on some comedy again in the midst of some more intense stuff. i wanted it to be very light and funny because you know how i feel about mixing the funny and the drama, but as a scene it also kind of closes the loop on doppio in a sense? kind of trying to cover a lot of aspects about him at once. we go back all the way to the beginning and see what he's about at the same time as we're getting his original canon ending, and later in that same chapter he's going choose to leave behind the new relationships he's been building over the fic and stick to those original guns, albeit with a little less passivity. so it's important to get the context for why this is the natural conclusion his life has brought him to. from here on out, his past isn't going to have the answers. it's forward or nothing.
but by kind of pulling the curtain back on doppio's mysteries we then have to pivot to diavolo's, because very fittingly it turns out neither of them has all of the pieces we need. diavolo's decision to go full crime boss is also a point that's vague in the anime, so we're straight into fresh material there. he's had little glimpses of his POV in the fic before but this is the first real extended shot of him outside of the side content and it's not him as the impressive powerful villain he becomes, but the man he was before that. which is, in short, a Mess. there's comedy there as well, i think being terrified of kc is entirely reasonable as an initial reaction, but it's also a good opportunity to demonstrate diavolo both getting entirely the wrong idea in his scrambling to jump to the right conclusion, and doing things with that faulty data that are not sensible or good long-term decisions. he's still the same person but he's rattled and paranoid and that's a rut he's not getting out of any time soon. he's also desperately isolated and trapped on an island between his various burned bridges, and if he stops to think for a moment he's going to have the weight of that fall down around his ears. so he's not going to stop and think about things very much. this is a minor spoiler i suppose but: while doppio's flashback scenes were very much out of order (actively reverse order, in several cases), diavolo's are a lot more chronological in some senses ("in some senses" because... well, you'll see). they are a lot more grounded and weighted in the past because he is a lot more firmly rooted in it than doppio was. i liked playing with that in his scene particularly, both in referencing spice girl's intro when kc first shows up, and a bit more sneakily by paying off a little detail alllll the way back in chapter 18. for a man who doesn't want to hold onto the past, he held onto that first letter for a Long time.
also, of course, that first egypt chapter lead to the first piece of bngn fanart i received, so obviously it was a triumph in every way.
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messers-moony · 3 years
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Forever and Always | S.B
Paring: Young!Sirius Black X Fem!Reader
Summary: Sirius departs his girlfriend after the Potter’s death to start his time in Azkaban but comes back to an amazing welcome.
She was pacing in the living room that belonged to her and her boyfriend. Said boyfriend had just left the house to check on their best friends, James Potter and Lily Potter. It had only been months since leaving Hogwarts, yet they had to become adults almost instantly due to Voldemort rising. Now she was bearing the news of being pregnant in the midst of a war. Nothing could be worse, right?
Everything happens for a reason. Moments later, her boyfriend had apparated back into their shared home. His body was shaking with sobs, and his eyes couldn’t meet hers. Sirius’s body collapsed on the floor. He didn’t have the strength to bring himself back onto his own feet. She took him into her arms, holding him securely against her chest.
“ They’re dead. “ Sirius managed through sobs, “ I couldn’t save them. “
It became hard to swallow, “ I- I heard her scream. I couldn’t do anything. “
“ It’s okay; we’ll get through this together. “ Y/n shushed as he cried, “ We- We won’t. “ Sirius murmured.
“ What do you mean? “ Y/n pulled away to look at him, “ It was him. “
“ Who? “ Y/n questioned, “ Peter. He- He gave away their position, and I went after him. Bloody idiot turned into a rat after cutting off his finger. The Aurors will be coming after me soon. “ Sirius confessed.
Without explanation, she took his face in her hands. Y/n’s eyes roamed over the entirety of his face. She was taking him in entirely before he’d be out in Azkaban for a crime he didn’t do. Sirius sniffled but did the same to her. His airway felt blocked as he took in his soon-to-be wife.
“ When they take me away, there’s a box in my nightstand for you. Take it. “ Sirius swallowed, “ I love you. “
She nodded, “ Of course. And, there’s something I need to tell you as well. “
“ I- I’m pregnant. “ Y/n’s voice wasn’t louder than a whisper, and a smile crept on Sirius’ face, “ I trust you, more than I probably should. “ Sirius began.
“ I’m sorry I can’t be there. But I promise I will escape, and I will come back for you and them. “ He completed, “ I know, and I love you. Forever and always? “ Y/n stated.
“ Forever and always. “ Sirius confirmed.
On cue, a knock echoed through the house. They both stood, and Sirius opened the door where he met his inevitable fate. He was sentenced to life in Azkaban with no trial and sentenced to prison with the charges of the deaths of his best friends. But strangely, he felt no remorse. He felt content leaving because he knew that his fiancé and child would be waiting for him.
It was a rough year for both of them. Sirius was adjusting to Azkaban, and Y/n was getting used to having a newborn and a two-year-old. Thankfully after much fighting, she was able to take custody of Harry. The only embodiment of her two best friends. Y/n couldn’t have been happier to receive news that Harry would be in her company for the rest of his life.
Years past and now Harry was beginning his shopping at Diagon Alley for shopping with Y/n and his unrelated cousin. After a long debate in her own mind, she decided to name her son after the strongest man she knew, Regulus. It took nine months to select and confirm that it would be his name finally. Y/n could only hope Sirius would be okay with it.
“ Are you excited, Harry? “ Y/n asked after he had received his wand, “ I can’t believe it! “ Harry exclaimed excitedly.
Y/n smiled, “ James and Lily are proud of you, love. Please remember that. “
“ You think so? “ Harry questioned, “ I know so. “ Y/n replied with a playful scoff.
“ How about we get some ice cream at Florean Fortescue's and apparat home? “ Y/n queried, and Regulus perked up, “ Ice cream?! “
“ Yes, please! “ Harry responded, and she smiled, “ Come on, boys. “
The night was young when they returned home. Both boys thrilled with getting ice cream for dinner instead of the typical savory meal Y/n would cook. Harry and Regulus got along fantastically. They indeed were the embodiment of their fathers. Regulus couldn’t be more like Sirius, and Harry couldn’t be more like James. Sometimes she had to take a step back and remember that they weren’t them.
Her statement was only proven true when she found out that Harry had fallen into step with a three-headed dog. Y/n couldn’t do anything but chuckle lightly at the mischief he was creating while only being a first year. It was strangely refreshing after the years of quiet. Y/n stood at the kitchen countertop looking at the half-filled moon twisting the ring on her finger.
Two more years went by, and finally, Regulus was in his second year. Harry now in his third. Both boys managed to get into Gryffindor. No surprises there. Their parents were Gryffindors. The news of Sirius Black’s escaped made things more than hopeful for Y/n. He fulfilled his promise just like she knew he would. Now knowing his escape was successful, the house couldn’t have felt more empty.
Until a big black dog showed up on her doorstep during Christmas, Harry always opted for staying at Hogwarts while Regulus stated he missed home. Regulus was in his bedroom when Y/n opened the door. The black fur made her laugh and cry tears of joy while he trotted in the house as if nothing ever happened. It was a breath of fresh air. Padfoot panted as she petted his fur, closing the wooden door behind her and the blinds.
Then he was human again, “ Hi, love. “
“ Hi, Sirius. “ Y/n smiled and hugged him tightly, “ I missed you. “
“ I missed you too, darling. “ His arms felt skinner, but he held her close to him.
When they pulled away, he pulled her in for a kiss. It was slow and sensual. The kiss wouldn't lead up to anything. It was a promise fulfilled. His arms went down to her waist while hers went around his neck. Her hands were running through his matted black hair, but that didn’t matter. She had her fiancé back. After the kiss, he nuzzled his nose with hers.
“ A little birdy told me that I was bound to have a son before I left. “ Sirius began, still holding Y/n tight to him, “ I’d like to meet him if he’s here. “
“ Are you sure? “ Y/n queried, cupping his cheek noticing his nervousness, “ Yeah. “ Sirius kissed the palm of her hand.
Carefully she separated from him and cleared her throat, “ Reggie! “ She called, and Sirius was taken aback, “ Regulus? “ He murmured.
“ Coming, mom! “ Regulus called back as he came down the steps to see a man beside his mom.
Their appearances matched. The same black hair but slightly wavy. The inherited grey eyes that seemed to be passed down through the Black family. The defined structure of the face. Everything was there. Just by looking at him, you could tell he was a Black. Instead of the coldness in the grey, there was warmth and kindness—something most Blacks didn’t have.
“ He- He’s Sirius Black. “ Regulus muttered, “ You’re- You’ve escaped Azkaban. “
“ You know who he is. “ Y/n stated, and he nodded, “ You’re- You’re my father. “ Regulus stammered out, staring cautiously at the man.
Sirius chuckled, “ I believe so. “
It didn’t take much. Regulus was already in his arms, hugging tighter than he should’ve. The pain in Sirius’ back was throbbing at the tightness of the hug, but that didn’t matter. His son was in his arms, and he finally made his way back to his family. It didn’t matter, and it didn’t feel like twelve years had passed because with his son in his arms, Sirius felt strong.
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vrishchikawrites · 3 years
Note
Post-post-post cannon Wangxian being completely in love in the cloud recessess as teenagers who time travelled back to their own 16-17 year old bodies on accident.
In love. Wangxian are in love. In love. Just smooph and fluff.
Like they're effortlessly in love. (No matter how much Jiang Cheng yells and ties to control Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian casually refuses to hear any of it, as he'd been ignoring Jiang Cheng's homophobia and hate forever by the time they both came back by accident. )
Also wwx doesn't hide his genius and every one around him is like senpai *heart eyes* (honestly he's almost forgotten how to hide his effortless genius.)
(Just FYI, don't have to include this: this Wei Wuxian has long since come to terms with all his war and Sunshot and Shiji related trauma— just FYI.)
I just want to read as much of the smooph, smushy fluff and love you can stomach writing please.
Extra points if you can show them both just effortlessly and absentmindedly flirting.
(You don't have to incude this, but: They just take like a weekend off and go raze the main Wen family to the ground casually— back late with Starbucks— "We were night hunting. What do you mean the Wen family died? So sad. We feel so bad. Don't we feel bad?" " Mm. Feel bad.")
Thank you so much for existing in this fandom. I love your fics. I love you. 💖
Xichen is proud of his brother but he can't deny that he is sometimes concerned for him as well. Wangji is a dedicated and accomplished disciple but he is isolated from his peers. Xichen has friends and confidants but Wangji is simply content to be by himself.
That is concerning, even for a Lan.
He had hopes that incoming disciples would manage to shake him up a little but that hope didn't last long. Year after year, Wangji continued to remain aloof, not expressing any interest in the disciples.
But something has changed this year. Xichen didn't even know what was going on until a few weeks into the introduction of the guest disciples.
He spots them by chance. Young Master Wei is cheerfully waving at a vendor, his smile wide and bright, ensnaring the old woman's entire attention.
Wangji is right by him, Bichen in one hand but the other…
The other is placed on the small of Wei-gongzi's back.
Xichen watches as they move on from the vendor. He sees how Wangji seems to shield Wei-gongzi from the crowd, angling his body slightly to ensure his companion can walk freely.
It is a gesture of protectiveness. It is a gesture of possession.
Xichen studies their body language carefully. Wangji seems content to follow Wei-gongzi around, his expression closed but gentle. There are no frosty glares or pursed lips. His brother, for once, looks entirely relaxed. Everything about him is loose and easy underneath all of his Lan elegance. His shoulders slope gently, his spine isn't as rigid, and his walk is steady.
The First Jade has never seen his brother look so settled.
Wei Wuxian seems happy too, his smile incandescent and lovely. Almost as tall as Wangji, the boy is the very antithesis of his brother. While Wangji is sedate and content, Wei Wuxian is nearly bursting with energy and joy. His silver eyes sparkle in the sunlight and his long hair sways with every movement of his body.
Xichen's heart softens at the glimpse of such open beauty. There's certainly something alluring about Young Master Wei. He seems to suffuse his surroundings with happiness.
There's something in the air around them.
Despite his lively mind wandering from one stall to another, Wei-gongzi always finds his way back to Wangji, looking at him with a hopeful smile and a cheerful comment.
His brother's expression is unfamiliar to him. Wangji looks like his entire world is smiling up at him.
'Is this love?' He wonders to himself as he watches his brother gently pull Wei-gongzi out of a running child's way. He doesn't miss how the touch lingers, fingers curling slightly around the slender wrist before pulling away.
There are many eyes following Wangji and his friend, and all of them have indulgent expressions. The people of Caiyi town have seen Wangji since he was a child. They know him and his nature well enough.
Xichen suspects they're just as happy to see Wangji roaming the markets leisurely as a pretty butterfly flutters around him.
"Is that Lan Wangji?" Nei Mingjue observes, stepping up beside him.
Xichen nods, "And his friend, Wei Wuxian."
"Hm," his friend says, "I've been hearing that name a lot recently. They say the only reason Jin Zuxian beat him in the rankings is because of his looks."
Xichen chuckles at Mingjue's tone, "Ah, Da-ge, you must hate that."
His friend rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his tea. "How do looks matter when you're facing down Fierce Corpses?"
"From what shufu says, Young Master Wei is Wangji's equal in many ways." Shufu had been wary at first, wondering what sort of chaos the son of Cangse Sanren would bring to Cloud Recesses. So far, Wei Wuxian has proven to be a mischievous but brilliant student. "He challenges shufu in class. They end up having loud, angry debates," Xichen chuckles because he knows his uncle, despite all appearances, loves being stimulated, "He mentions the boy often." There's a comment about Wei Wuxian almost every time he has tea with his uncle.
He looks at the two younger master's thoughtfully, "I didn't expect this."
"Are they courting?" Nei Mingjue asks bluntly, "Because your little brother is acting like a husband already."
Xichen stills and looks at the pair again. That is what's off about their body language. They move around each other confidently, not like a young couple in fresh blooms of love.
There are no tentative glances, awkward touches, and hyperawareness. Wangji touches Wei Wuxian like it is his right. Like he is confident that his touch is welcome and desired.
For a moment, he feels a pang of worry. Xichen looks at Wei Wuxian, studying him carefully to see if there's any sign of strain or distress.
He finds nothing. Wei-gongzi responds to every gesture of affection like a flower blooming under the Sun.
"Ah." He realizes, "You think…?"
"Strong bonds form quickly between cultivators with matching potential." Nei Mingjue observes, "It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility. Your brother looks a little too enamored for this to be a teenage fancy."
Well, isn't this an interesting development?
---
"Your hair looks nice," Nie Huaisang says, hiding a smile behind his fan. Wei-xiong always looks good but there's something particularly radiant about him now. He seems to stand a bit taller, carry himself with a bit more confidence. His gestures seem stronger, somehow carrying more authority than before.
But the hair intrigues him. There's a glittering silver hairpiece in it and the strands of ebony are tied up in a neat style.
Neater than Wei-xiong's usual style. While Huaisang is certain Wei-xiong is perfectly capable of making himself as elegant as the Jades of Lan, he usually doesn't bother.
This was done by someone else's careful, loving, hand.
Jiang Yanli isn't at Cloud Recesses and Jiang Cheng would rather burn his own hands than show even an ounce of love towards his shixiong - something pricks when he thinks about that.
So there's someone else, someone willing to comb Wei-xiong's hair until every strand is glossy and straight, before tying it up with a silver and jade pin that looks expensive.
Wei-xiong is courting- no, he corrects himself, watching his friend wave enthusiastically at Lan Wangji, 'Wei-xiong is being courted.'
Wangji-xiong bows to his brother and walks towards Wei-xiong, his gaze softer than usual. His friend is smiling widely and immediately dissolves into excited chatter. Wangji-xiong doesn't seem bothered, just nodding occasionally and watching with indulgent patience.
There's something entirely lovely about the way Wangji-xiong's eyes remain fixed on Wei Wuxian's face. It is like nothing else is more important to him than Wei-xiong's smile and cheerful voice.
Standing together in the courtyard, both clad in white and glowing under the warm light of the morning sun, they look stunning. Huaisang's romantic heart sighs at the sight.
"What is he doing?" Jiang Wanyin hisses and Huaisang looks at him, startled by his icy tone, "I can't believe he's making a nuisance of himself again!"
"Jiang-gongzi-"
"Wei Wuxian! What are you doing, messing around?"
The loud voice catches almost everyone's attention. Wei-xiong looks over his shoulder and Wangji-xiong's expression turns frosty, all warmth draining from it immediately.
"Aiya, Jiang Cheng," Wei-xiong grins but it doesn't have that sheepish, placating quality that Huaisang had seen before, on those rare occasions he visited Lotus Pier with his da-ge. This grin was full of confidence and almost... dismissal. "Why are you angry now?"
Was that tone... mocking?
Huaisang's lips twitch as Jiang-gongzi swells further with rage, "Wei Wuxian! How can you be so shameless? Imposing yourself on Lan Wangji, always trying to distract him. Think of our sect's reputation for once!"
"Do not speak for me." Wangji-xiong's voice is icy and it cuts Jiang-gongzi's rant short immediately, "Wei Ying is free to seek me out whenever he wishes. No one may stop him."
And that seems to be that. Wei-xiong laughs and Wangji-xiong guides him away gently like he's someone delicate and not the strongest cultivator of their generation.
But, Huaisang muses, even strong people deserve gentleness.
---
"Da-shixiong! Show us that one again," A Jiang disciple demands and Wangji looks up from his work. He has clear sight of the training ground from where he's sitting. Wei Ying is standing in the middle, surrounded by a few Jiang and Lan disciples.
They're all looking at him in adoration.
Wangji feels a flood of amusement and sets his work aside, content to take a small break. It is always a treat to see his husband in his element; teaching people and nurturing young minds. They may be back in their teenage bodies, but their soul is much older.
Wei Ying, with his natural ability to charm juniors and his hard-earned wisdom, is the perfect teacher.
"It is amusing to see you so smitten," Wangji looks up to see his brother smiling at him, "Wei-gongzi must be very special, yes?"
His brother probably aims to fluster him, he is so fond of teasing Wangji. But Wangji had been Wei Ying's husband for more than a decade before an accident sent them back in time. He is no longer flustered or overwhelmed by his feelings. "Very special," He agrees, unable to help glancing back at his beloved, "Very lovely."
Xichen chuckles, "He is indeed lovely." His expression turns sly, "Do I need to speak with Uncle? Betrothal negotiations may be complicated in this case."
Wangji remains unphased, "You may," He says calmly, much to his brother's surprise, "Wei Ying will marry into the Lans. Give no concession to the Jiangs. He is just their Head Disciple, not the part of the family."
"Wangji," His brother breathes, "You're that invested?"
"Un. Will marry Wei Ying. Give him a better life. A life of dignity, freedom, and respect. Free of unnecessary debt that no one should foist on a child."
That is enough for Xichen to understand. His gaze turns solemn and he looks at Wei Ying carefully, "If that is what you wish, brother, you will have it."
---
Wangji feels his heart still when he steps into the library pavilion. He gazes at the scene before him, feeling the stiff formality of his expression melt away.
Wei Ying is beautiful, sitting there and reading peacefully. The evening sunlight envelopes him, giving him an ethereal glow. He traces his husband's features, feeling something akin to desperate love. It has been so since he saw this face and this body. Mo Xuanyu didn't lack beauty and Wei Ying's radiant personality had only added to it.
But this is Wei Ying's true body.
Helplessly drawn, he steps forward. "Xingan."
Wei Ying looks up, startled to hear such an endearment aloud. Immediately, his face is aglow with a pretty blush even as he laughs teasingly, "Lan Zhan! Don't be so bold!"
He walks towards Wei Ying and settles down by him, closer than truly appropriate but this is his husband. "Research?"
Wei Ying smiles, drawing Wangji's attention to his lips. There's no one in the library so Wangji permits himself the touch, reaching forward to gently caress them, "Such beauty." He whispers.
Wei Ying blushes again, "Er-gege," He protests, "Have mercy on my heart."
His fingers slide under Wei Ying's jaw, drawing him in gently. His husband is sweet and compliant as Wangji kisses him, an innocent brush of lips and nothing more. "My Wei Ying." His voice is low, heated in ways Wei Ying recognizes. He watches as those enchanting silver eyes brighten with passion.
His Wei Ying buries his warm face in his neck with a moan of protest, "Mercy, husband. You're so cruel to tease me like this when you can't take me to bed."
It is indeed a challenge to not have their 'everyday' but Wangji can be patient. Xiongzhang is already working on it.
For now, he is content.
They sit like that for a long time, Wei Ying leaning against him, trusting and calm. No one disturbs them and Xichen only stops by once, smiling knowingly in their direction and pointedly ignoring Wangji's restraining hand around Wei Ying's waist, stopping him from pulling away.
They spend the rest of the evening exchanging soft murmurs and softer kisses.
Nothing will stand in their way this time.
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seriouslysnape · 3 years
Text
To the Limit
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Severus Snape x Fem. Reader
Warnings: Slight smut. Use of safeword. Language.
Request: Hi! Can u make Severus × Reader when the reader use the safe words for the first time because idk maybe it's too much for the reader that day or smth else you like..Thankyouu 💕💕 love ur writings btw ❤❤
A/N: Here we gooooooo. Reminder, everything is consensual.
Word Count: 2,947
“Okay, darling. Whatever you want.”
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Severus has always been flexible in the bedroom. Yes, Severus Snape is versatile in the sheets and has more love making skills than you originally would’ve given him credit for. Sex with Severus can range anywhere from slow and careful where praising your body is his main objective, to fucking you so mercilessly that stars are dotting the back of your eyelids with each hard thrust.
Sometimes, you don’t have to establish what kind of theme your sessions will take on. If Severus comes home angry from a long, obnoxious day then you very well know that a rough fucking will get it out of his system. When you’ve just watched one of your favorite romantic drama Muggle movies that have sent you into tears, he knows that something more unhurried is in order so you are reminded of how much he loves you.
Other times though, there isn’t really anything that determines the kind of sex you’ll be having. If the mood is right for both of you, then you often will just figure it out from there. 
Severus’ return on Friday night from a long week of classes was coated with his desire for you. You could practically feel the hard sexual tension radiating off of his whole being. From the moment he walked in the door, you knew what tonight would hold for the both of you. More than likely, it’d be a whole lot of rutted fucking and orgasms until neither of you had any stamina left to give. Normally, a seed of excitement would be planted and begin to grow in your core at the thought of being touched by him, but you didn’t feel it this time. 
It had been a bad week to put it simply. Work was weighing you down and you had taken more hits than you were used to in a five day time period. Exhaustion had riddled you, and stress has gotten the best of you. Emotional breakdown was the only way you could describe how you were feeling. You really weren’t feeling up to what Severus wanted to do. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him when his hands and lips were on you, moving to all his favorite places on you.
His voice was silky smooth in your ears as he uplifted you with how he had been thinking about you all day, and how he wanted to be with you when you weren’t around. It wasn’t Severus’ fault that you had a bad week, and it surely wasn’t all his fault that he was this turned on. The way he gripped your legs with his strong hands was an indicator that he wanted to go well into the night, which your tired state wasn’t a fan of. But you loved Severus, and you always wanted him to be happy and well pleased. So you figured you could handle a couple of coarse rounds to satisfy him.
Oh, how wrong you were.
Once access was granted, Severus leapt onto you without hesitation. A tornado of clothes being removed whirled around the room, your shirt and pants ended up on complete opposite sides of the room. Hot and unruly kisses were shared, marks were left on your necks, and no part of you went unattended. 
Admittedly, the first orgasm was actually enjoyable. Severus’ fingers were knuckle deep in your needy cunt and pumping vigorously as he found all the best spots. The strenuous activity melted some of the week’s stress from your conscience, your mind being stripped of all your worry as it clouded with ecstasy. Severus thrived off of the moans and noises of delight that he was drawing out of your throat, perfecting his movements to give you an even stronger release. Severus worked you to your finish as you came around his fingers, slicking them with arousal and relief. 
He left lazy kisses over your breasts while you took a moment to recover, preparing yourself for the next round that was undoubtedly on its way. Tiredness had plagued you long before Severus had even walked through the door, and you had suddenly been robbed of even more energy, so you were confident that you might not get a proper orgasm this second time. But the moment Severus slid you onto his dick and stretched your walls the way only he knew how to, you knew that you were going to cum whether you felt like you could handle it or not.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You loved seeing Severus so enraptured in waves of pleasure and gratification, but you were beyond fatigued. Still, you bounced up and down on his lap over and over again, your already sensitive clit throbbing with each rub of his fingers. Severus’ other hand guided your hip movements to meet the way he thrusted up into you, hitting your g-spot just right.
When you came this time, your sound of release was more of a strained cry than a content sound. Severus didn’t seem to notice, since he was too focused on the intoxicating feeling of filling you with his own finish. You popped off of him before he was even emptied out, the rest of his fluids landing on your inner thighs. You fell onto the bed next to him, your breathing much heavier than usual. 
You were totally tuckered out with absolutely no hope of another round. Your muscles ached and your bones were wiped out. Although, you felt a queasy feeling of despair when you saw that familiar look of lust in Severus’ eyes. He spoke lowly, his voice echoing in your ringing ears.
“I’m not through with you yet, love.” He purred.
Usually that would’ve sent a whole mess of arousal through you, but you were too worn out. But Severus usually didn’t last more than three rounds, so this would for sure be the last one. You thought you could push through so he could at least get his release, but this third go round wasn’t a good feeling for you at all.
With your arms above your head and the pillowcase below your head in your fingers’ death grip, you turned your head to the side to fight through his persistent hard fucking into you. On a better day, you’d be all over this and relishing every moment. But now your eyes were screwed tightly shut in discomfort, for each time you opened them Severus would only be able to see the whites of your eyes. The thumping heartbeat in your ears was deafening and your entire body was stiff and rigid, but not in a good way. You wanted to tough it out so at least Severus could finish, but it was just too much for you tonight. 
You had to tap out.
“Polyjuice!” You squeaked out, your voice raspy.
In an instant, you saw any expression of lust wiped straight from his face. He pulled out the millisecond that the word registered in his head, his face stricken with worry and concern at the first time use of your agreed safe word. Severus’ heart dropped at your whimpers of displeasure, his brain reeling and raking over what had gone wrong. 
“[Y/N], what’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically.
“I-I just...”
Shaky breaths and uncomfortable whines were the only noises you could seem to make. You sat up from where you were laying down, bringing your knees to your chest and hiding your face as you began to cry. Your emotions were all over the place, and it didn’t help that you were overstimulated and overworked. Severus went to pull you to him, but withdrew his hand. Upsetting you further would absolutely crush him, but he needed to know that you were okay.
“Can I touch you, darling?” He whispered out.
The yowl of approval was enough for him to feel fine with carefully wrapping his hand under your arm and dragging you across the mattress to where he was kneeling on the middle of the bed. He pulled the covers over your skin to keep you from getting cold from the loss of heat from being active. You buried your head into his bare chest, your tears leaking and falling down his skin. 
“I’m sorry, Sev. I’m really sorry.” You sobbed, your hair sticking to your sweaty skin.
“No, no, no. Don’t ever be sorry for telling me to stop when you’re not comfortable,” He reassured; “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 
The shake of your head brought relief upon him, but he was still worried. He rocked you in his arms until your sobs died down enough to where you were coherent. Severus was getting ready to ask you once more what was wrong, shifting you so he could see your face. When moving you, his hand accidentally brushed against your swollen, sensitive clit and you wailed out pathetically. Severus’ pale face went even whiter.
“Oh, my love...I worked you too hard, didn’t I?” He queried.
Severus would always admit that sometimes he’d get into the zone and completely drown everything else out. He wouldn’t really be able to tell how hard he was pulling in and out. It was rare, but from time to time you’d have to ask him to soften his thrusts or slow his pace when he got too rowdy. But you had never asked him to stop completely until now. He feared that he had seriously pushed you over the edge this time.
“It’s not just that.” You confessed with a sniff.
Severus had drawn your head back to gaze into your bleary eyes. The tear tracks being swiped away with his thumbs as he cradled your face. 
“What is it then, sweetheart?” He asked with wonder.
A fresh set of salty tears pooled and fell down your cheeks, but for a different reason.
“I’ve had a horrible week. Nothing has gone right,” You explained croakily; “I wanted to make you feel good and I thought it might make me feel better...but I’m just exhausted and I couldn’t handle it tonight.”
You fell apart into another set of choking sobs and gut wrenching cries, prompting Severus to bring you back into his chest. He stroked your skin and left kisses so light that they were ghostly. 
“It’s alright, angel. I wish you had told me before that you weren’t feeling up to it,” He consoled; “You’re worth so much more than sex. I want you to tell me sooner next time if you’re uncomfortable.”
Your nod of understanding offered a wash of comfort over him that you were calming down steadily. He hated that this happened. He knew that was the whole reason for your established safe word for when things went south or things got dicey. He just never thought you’d ever have to use it. He felt absolutely terrible. 
“I’m sorry, Sevvy. I really wanted you to get off, I just-”
“Please don’t apologize for this. This is my fault. I should’ve seen how tired you were and how I was being overly hard,” He said; “I’m the one that should be sorry.”
The sniffles from your nose had increased as you tried to flush down all the drainage from your crying. Your tears had stopped as you sat up from his body, wiping at your cheeks with the back of your hand. The red blotches in your puffy eyes were pinging at Severus’ already guilty conscience. He saw the littered hickeys across your neck and breasts, and how your lips were swollen from his severe kisses. He had rocked your burnt out body to the max.
“I’ll tell you what. How about we go get cleaned up, and then we can get into bed. Then you can tell me about your week if so wish.” He suggested, cautiously guiding you off of the bed.
“I think I just want to get a bath and get some sleep.” You said, barely able to stand on your wobbly legs.
“Okay, darling. Whatever you want.” He smiled softly, hoping it’d offer you some kind of solace. 
Severus ran you a hot bath, filling it with all of your favorite scents and smells. Your stance was still despite your shaking legs, and you seemed to be staring off into an endless trance. You slipped into the tub when it was ready, sinking down just below your nose under the bubbles. Normally, Severus would be sitting across from you or you’d be snuggled up on his lap, but he wanted you to have some space for a bit. You were honestly too tired to object. 
He simply casted a charm to freshen himself up, finding and selecting his favorite pair of sweatpants and soft shirt for you to change into. Your eyes were closed, and you had just begun to drift off to sleep when he re-entered the bathroom, changed into some casual day time wear, despite how late it was.
“Here are some clean clothes for you, pretty girl.” He remarked, setting the folded sweats and shirt on the end of the tub for you to get when you got out.
You only gave a light nod as a response, your eyes following him as he stood awkwardly. He was unsure of what to do for you now. He thought that you might want the bedroom to yourself for the night, which was fine because he wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing he had pushed you so hard anyway. He placed himself on the floor by the tub, sitting with his legs criss crossed over one another. It was quiet in the room, the only sounds were the occasional gentle splash when you moved your leg or arm. His eyes were still full of worry, and he was kicking himself big time now.
“I’m so sorry...” He breathed out, running his fingertips dragging leisurely your damp arm that you had resting on the ledge of the bathtub; “I never meant to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, Sev. I promise.” You responded, wishing he wouldn’t take this so hard.
When it came to you, Severus took everything to heart. There weren’t many things in the world that made his heart beat with a purpose. You were the single person that allowed him to want to get up in the mornings. The thought of hurting you was enough to break him down. If he could have it his way, you would be indescribably happy with every passing moment of every day. He never wanted you to feel anything other than joy. 
But he knew that life would never allow it.
Your eyebrows dipped when you noticed his attire, wondering why he wasn’t in his own sleepwear. It was much too late for him to go anywhere.
“Where are you going?” You questioned, your voice thick with weary.
“I’m going to go back to the school. I have some grading to do.” He half-lied.
It was true that he did indeed have a stack of papers to be assessed, but that wasn’t the real reason why he felt like he wanted to leave. Severus Snape grading on a Friday night when he had the opportunity to be cuddled up with his lover? He’d choose you every time.
Now you felt bad for causing him to scurry off. You wanted him there with you regardless of what had happened.
“Severus,” You called out tenderly, reaching for his face; “I don’t want you to leave.” 
A genuine look of doubt flashed over his features as his head lulled into your hand.
“I think it would be best if you got some good sleep tonight. I’ll just be in my office so if-”
“Stay with me. Please?” You requested, the thought of sleeping without him was disheartening.
A sigh of awe expelled from his chest. He couldn’t say no to your puppy eyes and slightly pouting lower lip.
“Okay, okay.” He agreed.
“I think that some boyfriend snuggles will make me feel a whole lot better.” You spoke rather cheekily.
He hummed affirmatively. The sound of nestling up with you was impossible to turn down. He took your hand from his face and kissed your palm gingerly, holding the warm skin to his lips for a brief moment. He eventually stood from the floor, but stopped when you held your arms up.
“Help me up?” You asked with the first genuine smile of the evening.
He chuckled, obliging and lifting you effortlessly from the tub. The warm towel was heavenly as you dried off, changing into the clothes that Severus had left for you. Severus went and changed as well, laughing to himself when he exited the closet to see you already curled up. 
The sheets draped over him easily when he laid next to you, waiting for you to nuzzle up to him. He held you close and flush to him, thanking his lucky stars that you were okay.
“My sweet girl...” He hushed out, noting that you were just seconds away from falling asleep; “I love you.” 
You mumbled out a sleepy “I love you” in return before drifting into a deep slumber to snooze off the night’s drama. Severus, as expected, didn’t sleep much that night to ensure that you were sleeping soundly and comfortably. He still felt dreadful, even after you had told him over and over that he didn’t hurt you. The weekend to follow was filled with Severus doting and cherishing over you every chance that he had, trying to make up for what had happened. You were the light of his life after all.
And he prayed that he’d never see that flame go out.
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harrywritingsbyme · 3 years
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A Special Valentine
Anonymous Said: would it be possible for the "series of firsts" it's harry's first time with a girl...
Based Off Of This Ask
And This One
A/N: So I’ve been sitting on this concept for what seems life forever. I’ve gotten ideas and I’ve lost ideas and it’s been a good while of writing little drafts and stuff for this fic. But, I am so so so thankful to have @adore-you-hs2 and @honeyfulharries for helping me brainstorm some ideas for this fic!! Since I wrote a virgin!Y/n fic last year around valentines day, I figured I’d do a fic for Harry, only this time incorporating more of the valentines theme. So it’s hella soft and fluffy with a lil angst, and when you get to the smut it’s hella filthy😂I hope y’all like it and I hope all of you had a lovely day…yesterday or the day before bc this valentine is hella late and timezones are a bitch. This is a brand new installment in a series of firstsss!! Anywaysss…enjoy🙃❤️
7.3k wordsss
Harry was beyond embarrassed. He was almost at the point of being ashamed. While all of his friends divulged about their sex lives and talked about how their significant other was in bed, he just sat next to you idly without anything to add to the conversation. He couldn’t talk about his favorite positions to have you in or little tricks he has for the bedroom. He was a virgin and didn’t have any type of experience whatsoever in regards to sex. The most he’d ever done with someone was touching over the clothes and making out. When he was all by himself, Harry did what he had to do; which he actually felt like he did a pretty good job with. It’s not that he didn’t know what he was into or liked in regards to his pleasure. Harry knew what his favorite content was and he even had a couple toys he liked to use on himself. It’s just that when he got to the more intimate phase of the relationship, he always got flustered and nervous. Even when it came to oral or mutual masturbation. He didn’t exactly know why he wasn’t able to express himself or be the same person he was when he was behind closed doors and alone. What made matters even worse for him though was the fact that he always felt rushed. Like whenever he said that he wasn’t quite ready or that he was a virgin, the dynamic of the relationship shifted. Ultimately leaving him alone to feel embarrassed, a bit hopeless, and sad over the fact that he was still a virgin. He also felt unwanted given the fact that a couple of his prior relationships fizzled out pretty quickly after he revealed that he hadn’t had his first time and that he wasn’t ready to do so at that moment. 
Eventually though, Harry reached the point of not even bothering or trying to meet new people and be in a relationship. He felt like he’d never be accepted nor meet the right person for him, let alone be ready to go all the way. So he put all of that on the back burner and just went along with life, becoming content with being completely by himself. And then he met you. It was like the perfect cliche. You were the person who never judged him for being a virgin or tried to rush him into doing anything he wasn’t up to or ready for. You just loved him for him and you wanted to be with him and be in love. It was like he was being understood and heard for the first time in a very long time and it felt great. With you, Harry was never made to feel like he was less than because of his choice and feelings when it came to his virginity. In fact, when you listened to what he’d been through in the past, it broke your heart. You could tell that he was really heartbroken and deeply saddened about it all and you never wanted to make him feel that way or even worse. So you made it your mission to never put pressure on him when it came to this and you made it your mission to listen and be there for him. You weren’t going to back out of your relationship over this; you loved him too much to even consider doing that. 
Even though he was fine with and had accepted the idea of being by himself, Harry didn’t want that for the rest of his life. He wanted to be with someone, he wanted to love someone unconditionally and be unconditionally loved back. And he got just that in you. He’d have to spend an entire lifetime compiling all of the words that could describe how perfect you are and how much he loves your relationship. Sure the two of you annoyed the hell out of each other at times and had disagreements. But neither of you wanted to annoy or disagree with anyone else. Over the past almost year of being together, you and Harry grew closer and closer. You two grew to love each other more than ever and this love was growing more and more each day. You and Harry could agree that there was a long and bright future ahead for you two and that was very exciting for you both. And in the process of growing and building your relationship, the two of you never had sex. You always followed Harry’s lead and you just went with the flow. Now things got a bit hot and heavy at times, but you and Harry were more than capable of taking care of yourselves so you two just stopped and didn’t go any further. From the toys you both had to your special “entertainment” and your vivid imaginations, you two were were just fine until the right time came along. And you specifically, refused to put any type of pressure on Harry. When it came to your first time together and Harry’s first time ever, you had the mindset that if Harry was comfortable, you were comfortable. 
And that was another reason why Harry felt so embarrassed. He was sitting next to you, his incredibly supportive and understanding girlfriend, in the middle of a conversation with you guys’ friends about your sex lives when he’s never had sex with you, or anyone for that matter. Listening to them, he felt like he was sort of holding you back and not fulfilling you the way you deserved. Even though you reminded him that the right time was when he was ready and that you were perfectly fine with that, Harry still felt a way. He still felt embarrassed. And on top of all that, you were being so sweet and understanding in the midst of it all. You were really trying to make him a little less uncomfortable and not so out of place. You could sense and see a little bit of that in the way he sank into the couch and cuddled into you a little more, so you wanted to be there for him and help him relax a bit. You were making a little conversation with him while the others talked amongst themselves, you played with his rings, and you gave him little kisses here and there. But you could only do but so much in that moment. Despite your efforts, Harry still felt the same way. Without any warning, Harry moves away from you a bit and stands from the couch, quickly announcing to the group that he needed a little fresh air. At first you just let him go, figuring that you should let him have his space. But after a couple minuets of sitting there without him, not really wanting to engage in the conversation at hand, you decide to get up and go out to him, giving the excuse that you wanted to check on him and see if he was okay. To be honest, it felt very weird to sit there without him.
You quickly walk away from the group in the direction Harry left in, needing to find him soon as you possibly could. Once you made it out the front door you turn to find him sitting in one of the chairs a couple steps away looking completely deflated. You couldn’t let him be all alone when he was feeling like this. So you quietly walk over, sitting down in the chair next to him, with your body and attention completely in his direction.
“I couldn’t sit there anymore.” He huffs, breaking the silence and bringing his hands up to his face.
“I understand babe.” You sigh, reaching over to rub his arm.
“It’s just- It’s so embarrassing that I’m in my late 20’s an I haven’t done anything with you, or anyone else for that matter.” He explains. 
“That is nothing to be embarrassed about Harry.” You softly exclaim, picking yourself up from your seat to sit in his lap. “Your virginity is yours, and only yours. That’s your decision to make, not mine, nor anyone else’s.” You affirm. 
“But It’s not normal considering I’m 27! What are you even with me?! I don’t want you to be with me and not be fulfilled.” He stresses quietly, feeling incredibly defeated. The entire situation brought up feelings and thoughts that he’d tried very hard to get past. When he says this, you immediately cup the sides of his face, forcing him to focus on you. 
“Now I want you to listen to me. I am with you because I love you so fucking much and you’re the most amazing person in the entire world. Sex is great and all but I can wait as long as you need if it means being with you and loving you to pieces. Hell, I’ll wait until we’re married if that’s what you choose to do. The point is, I’m yours and I will wait as long as necessary. With or without sex, you fulfill me Harry.” You softly explain to him, looking him right in the eye as you say every word. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes as you spoke to him. 
“I love you so much Y/n.” Harry sighs, still feeling a bit down. “Can we go to your place and cuddle.” He mumbles through a pout. 
“Of course baby! I’ll run back inside and let everyone know you’re not feeling well and then we can head home. How does that sound?” You propose with a smile.
“That sounds amazing.” He sighs, a small smile spreading across his face. 
“Can I have a kiss first?” You ask, puckering your lips towards him. In response he gives you a cute little nod before you lean down to press your lips against his. When the two of you kiss you can feel Harry relax a bit, which is exactly what you wanted. You knew that this wouldn’t solve this entirely, but it was a step in the right direction and it made Harry feel a little better which was all that mattered. “Now you wait right here and I’ll be right back.” You softly instruct after pulling away from his lips, following up with another kiss to the forehead before moving yourself off of his lap and back inside. After letting everyone know that Harry wasn’t feeling well and that you two were going to head out, you and Harry go back to your place and spend time together, cuddling and watching you guys’ favorite show and some movies, eventually falling asleep all cuddled with each other.
~ ~ ~ 
After that day, Harry began to think about going all the way with you and finally having sex for the first time a lot more than usual. Over the past year almost, you’ve shown him that you really do love and care about him. You never pressured him into doing anything and you always reminded him that he should do all of this at his own pace. You also showed him that you were the one; you were the one he could and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There were just so many things about you that he loved. So many things that Harry couldn’t imagine having his first time with anyone else. And he made sure to tell you that after deliberating on the matter for a couple of days. 
“I think I’m ready to lose it.” Harry whispers, completely out of the blue as the two of you wash the dishes from your little date night.
“You’re ready to y’know, have sex?” You question, wanting to make sure you heard him correctly. 
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it for a little bit and I realized that I’m ready to do it. And I want to do it with you. I wouldn’t want to have my first time with anyone else to be completely honest with you.” He explains, a small smile spreading across his face as he continues drying the dishes you’ve washed and handed over to him.
“Well I’m very honored, that you’re entrusting me with this. And I hope that it’s as good as you’ve imagined.” You reply to him, beginning to feel a bit of nervousness and excitement at the idea of being Harry’s first time. You’d never thought about it much since Harry wasn’t ready. But now that he was, you were feeling so many things and you were thinking about so many things as the time had finally come.
“Well I highly doubt that it will be anything less than amazing baby.” Harry hums, dropping the dishtowel and turning his attention to you. “I love you.” He sighs happily, prompting you to turn your head to face him.
“I love you too babe.” You coo, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lips.
~ ~ ~
Now you refused to let Harry’s first time be anything short of special. So you decided to plan something romantic for you two at your place, and you planned for this to be on Valentines Day. Not only would it be your first time celebrating as a couple, but it would also be your first intimate moment with Harry. And you wanted everything to be perfect, so you made a list of everything you’d need for the night at least a week or two in advance. You had everything from ingredients for dinner to a new set of lingerie. You also went over the list several times to make sure that you got everything you could possibly need for that night. You even went as far as to plan a little backup dinner in case something went wrong with the initial plan. You just wanted to make this night perfect for Harry. He’d gone through a lot in his relationships to get here and you wanted him to see that doing it all at his pace paid off and that he was special and loved. In the couple of days leading up to the big day, you began shopping and getting everything together. You got all of the food, wine, and decoration along with your lingerie and some other things for yourself that would make the entire experience that much better.
And when the day finally came, you were excited and all ready to go.
You had dinner cooking, the wine was in the fridge chilling, your bedroom was all set up with a fresh set of sheets, a couple candles set up and ready to be lit, a mix of red and white rose petals on the bed, and the perfect playlist (which you spent a good amount of time on) queued up. Not to mention the fact that you had your lingerie and everything perfectly set up in the bathroom so that you could be ready to change right into it after dinner. All you needed now was Harry. When he texted you to let you know that he was less than ten minuets away, you quickly throw on the dress you’d picked out for the evening along with your shoes and you do a final once over in the mirror before leaving your bedroom, making sure to close the door to keep that part of the evening a surprise. You pulled the wine from the fridge and you put the finishing touches on the table that was perfectly set for your dinner. In the final minuets before Harry’s arrival, you do a final walk through of everything you’d set up, it ending with a soft knock on your door signaling to you that Harry had arrived. When you hear him, your heart immediately begins to race from being nervous and excited for the night ahead. You immediately move yourself to the door, quickly giving yourself a little pep talk before opening the door for Harry. And when you did, you were almost certain you were going to pass out. Not only because you were buzzing around your apartment doing everything, but also because your boyfriend looked so good. What he had on was very simple but it was doing so much at the same time. You just wanted to pull him straight to the bedroom. But you didn’t. It took a lot of self control, but Harry was able to make it inside and settle down a bit before you two hit the bedroom
But it wasn’t that much of a gap in between Harry settling in and you two hitting the bedroom though. See, once you let him inside and gave him a kiss, it was like game over. He had a big basket that was beautifully filled with the things you loved and a couple presents he got you  in one hand, and a big bouquet of your favorite flowers in the other. When he got inside, Harry happily and proudly gave them both to you and let you check them both out while he snooped around in the kitchen a little to see what you had prepared and opened the bottle of wine you had out on the counter for you two. Once you started, you couldn’t stop gushing over and thanking Harry for what he got you. It was beyond thoughtful and you couldn’t wait for him to fully experience his gift of the night you’d planned out. Once you and Harry began talking and drinking a little, you two loosened up and were enjoying each other. The lights were dimmed a bit, there were candles just about everywhere, you and Harry were in love, and the two of you were all alone. It was absolutely perfect and romantic. On top of all that though, there was the pleasant elephant in the room, that being Harry giving you the green light that he was ready for his first time. If there were no other indicators in the days leading up to this moment, there was definitely one now that was strongly pointing to him losing it tonight. He wasn’t anxious and he wasn’t thinking about backing out and telling you that he’s changed his mind. He knew that you’d be all on board with that but Harry was absolutely ready to be with you intimately. He was so ready that he couldn’t take his mind off it on the ride over. And once he arrived, Harry was completely floored by how amazing you looked and how you put this entire evening together that he was even more ready to go to the bedroom. He was so ready and excited that he completely gave up on talking. The two of you transitioned yourselves into the kitchen to get started with dinner, but Harry was very much so enjoying the idea of saving that for later. So without any word from him on what he was in the mood for, Harry takes your wine glasses and sits them on the counter, freeing your hands up as he traps you in between his body and the kitchen counter before attaching his lips with yours. 
When he does this, you practically melt under his touch. You were already in a daze from how amazing he looked, and from how sweet and amazing he was to you. So when Harry began to kiss you with such passion and need, you instantly obliged. Again, you were following his lead. If he wanted to skip and come back to dinner, you weren’t going to oppose one bit. As the two of you continued to kiss, you could feel him hardening against you which prompted the area between your legs to initiate the process of becoming all warm and sticky and go into overdrive. His hands were on your body, he was tightly pressed against you, and his mouth was magically moving against yours. This was just what you needed to fully get into the skipping right to the bedroom mood. It wouldn’t have taken much on Harry’s end to get you there but this was fantastic, so you weren’t complaining at all. When you hear Harry let out a soft moan into your mouth and move himself against you a little, you decide to take control and move you two to the bedroom a little faster. 
“Do you wanna just come back to dinner?” You whisper after pulling your lips away from his a bit.
“Mhm.” He immediately hums in response, loosening himself from your body so that you could move a bit more.
“Then let’s go.” You whisper with a smile, moving yourself from underneath him and grabbing his hand, pulling him in the direction of your bedroom. When you reach the door, you tease him a little by slowly turning the door knob, making sure to keep eye contact the entire time to drive him insane. And that definitely did the trick of riling him up some more. That is, until he got all soft once the bedroom was revealed to him. You went out of your way to make this space romantic since this was the place where he’d have his first time. “I wanted to make everything perfect for you.” You softly explain as you pull him into the room. 
“Have I told you that I love you tonight?” He asks, through a small breath. 
“Probably about a million times.” You happily joke with him, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
“Well for time one million and one, I love you so  so much. Like with my entire being. I love you so much that it hurts. And I couldn’t be more honored to be yours.” Harry says, bringing his lips to yours for a sweet kiss to seal the deal.
“I love you so much baby, so much.” You reply happily to him, so excited to move into the next step of your relationship. “Now get back into I want sex mode...that’s so hot on you and I have another surprise.” You continue, wanting to keep going and go all the way. 
“Considering how hard I am, I don’t think I’ll be out of “I want sex mode” for a while.” Harry truthfully replies with a chuckle that had the slightest tinge of bashfulness from how he was already rock hard and ready for you.
“Good! Now lay down and wait for me.” You say, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and pulling you both towards the bed before pushing him back down onto it. You then proceed to straddle him, bringing your face down to a mere inch or so away from his. “And if you wanna take your clothes off too, I’m definitely unopposed. ” You suggest with a smirk, planting a little peck to his lips before climbing off of his lap and walking out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where your lingerie was waiting for you, leaving Harry on the bed completely dumbstruck and needy. 
As soon as you close the bathroom door, you immediately begin working on removing your dress, pulling the zipper down to loosen it up and shrugging it off your body leaving you completely naked. As you looked in the mirror, you began to debate on whether or not you wanted to surprise him with being all naked or teasing him and making him work for it a little with the lingerie you had out and ready. Even though you were ready to just run back out there completely naked and just get down to business, you decided to put on the lingerie and let Harry unwrap you. As you put it on, all you could think about was Harry taking it all off. Like you could imagine him pulling it all off your body. With your panties especially, you could picture him pulling them off strings of your arousal coming with them. After getting the lacy garments on your body, you start pulling and moving it all around a bit. Once you’re all done with the lingerie, you pull the little sheer robe that came along with it on and you take a couple deep breaths before making your way back out to Harry. When you walk back into the bedroom, Harry’s eyes immediately shoot in your direction and practically pop out of his head when he sees you. He’d seen you in a two piece bathing suit before but that was about it. He’d never seen you this bare and exposed before. As you moved around the room to light the candles, Harry’s eyes followed your every move  and you could feel it. You could feel his eyes burning holes into your skin as you lit the candles and really set the mood for your time together. After you lit the candles and pressed play for your music, you were all ready to go. 
When you turn your full attention to Harry, you weren’t that surprised to see him fighting to quietly palm at his cock on the bed. His eyes were tightly closed as he squeezed his cock through his underwear. He was so engrossed on keeping himself quiet and relieving some of the pressure that had been mounting from the time he left home that he didn’t even notice you crawling up the bed. What he does notice though is you straddling his thighs, when he feels you on top of him, his eyes immediately shoot open and he quickly retracts his hand from his lap.
“You just look so good, I couldn’t help myself.” He rushes out in explanation. He could see it all. Your breasts were sitting perfectly in the lacy bra you were wearing, and from where Harry was, they looked beyond amazing. When his eyes traveled a bit lower, he could see where the two sides of your panties met to form a barely there strip to cover your pussy. If that wasn’t enough, the fabric was clinging to you and pushing up into your folds since the panties were pretty much nonexistent and you were very wet. He’d pictured you on top of him before, just never like this.
“Well I’m glad you like it because it’s all yours.” You reply, moving yourself up his body to sit right in his lap, causing Harry to gasp from the sight and feeling of you being naked and right on his cock. Harry was in sensory overload and so overwhelmed that he couldn’t form a single word in response. “Are you okay baby?” You softly ask, bringing your hand down to his cheek.
“Mhm…you just look so good, I don’t know where to start.” He whispers, bringing his eyes to meet yours. 
“You could start by touching me.” You suggest, reaching down to grab Harry’s hand and bring it up to one of your thighs to which Harry replicates with his other hand. Instead of rushing him along, you wanted him to explore your body and relax into the intimacy. You wanted him to be comfortable and do the things he’d dreamt of and feel the things he always wanted to feel. “And just relax” You begin, leaning down to bring your mouth to his ear. “I have a strong feeling that you’re gonna be really good at this.” You admit to him before lifting yourself back up. When Harry hears this, he eases up. Hearing that you thought he’d be good was the confidence boost he needed to get the ball rolling.
He begins to move his hands up your thighs, curling his thumbs inward towards the inner, more sensitive area. His hands continue on up your body, pushing past your hips, and all the way up to your chest where he brings both of his hands around to wrap them around your covered breasts. When he does this, you let out a little sigh of relief, loving the way his big hands felt around you. Harry loved how soft and squishy they felt in his hands, and he wanted to feel more. So he pushes his hands underneath your arms and manages to swiftly undo your bra. He couldn’t do it with one hand yet but you were very impressed (and even more turned on) at how he as able to quickly do it on his first try. The fabric is now hanging loosely on your body, allowing Harry to pull it down and off your body to fully expose your breasts to him. Your nipples were fully pebbled and practically screaming for him to play with them. He brings his hands back around, going straight to your breasts and right to your nipples. His fingers tugged and twisted at them, leaving you unable to hold back anymore moans that were threatening to spill out of your mouth. You also couldn’t help but to grind down against his clothed cock, which in turn caused Harry to start moaning beneath you. The soft music was now completely overpowered by your combined moans. 
“Can I be on top?” He pants, dying to get you completely naked and explore your body.
“Anything you want!” You exclaim, through one of your moans. Letting Harry take control of everything, you let him flip you two over so that he’s hovering over your body. As soon as he’s on top of you, Harry’s mouth immediately latches onto your skin, starting at the side your your neck. He starts sponging and sucking wet kisses into your skin, leaving a trail of them down your chest, stopping at the tops of your breasts so that he could pay them some more attention. The takes them both into his mouth individually and suckles on them, lapping his wet tongue around your nipples and squeezing the supple flesh surrounding them. For some reason, Harry felt at home with his mouth around your nipples. It was so good that Harry was rutting his clothed cock against you. As he continues, you’re softly moaning from the pleasure. You had a hand wrapped in his hair and the other on his back as he mouthed at your breasts. And as if he could read your mind, Harry picks up where he left off with his trail of kisses and makes his way further down your body. 
You wanted him to just explore your body and touch and feel you the way you knew he’d imagined. But you really wanted him between your legs. Your cunt had swallowed up the panties by now and the panties were nothing more than a damp piece of string at this point. When he makes it to the hand of your panties, Harry’s heart begins to speed up, excited to take them off and see what was underneath. He pushes his fingers into the thin bands that were wrapped around your hips and he begins to pull them down. He carefully watches as your cunt is being revealed to him. He can see how you were sopping wet and how plushy and soft your pussy was. There were strings of your arousal connecting your cunt and panties as he pulled them from between your legs. Once they fully off of you, and you’re completely naked, Harry lifts himself up from between your legs to soak in your naked body. He couldn’t believe how beautiful your naked body looked for him. You looked so soft and pretty below him, completely spread and exposed to him.
“Y’so pretty baby.” He sighs, bringing his hands down to your thighs. “Can I eat you baby?” He sweetly asks, bringing his eyes down between your legs so look at the sticky mess that was between your thighs. 
“Please Harry!” You moan, desperately needing his mouth on you again. At your response, Harry lays back down on the bed between your spread legs. He could smell your arousal and he was incredibly excited to taste you. He’d never don’t this before so he was a bit nervous that he wouldn’t do that good of a job. “Just lick into me baby, nothing to be nervous about.” You remind above him, bringing your hand to his head to give his hair a little tug. And with that, Harry dives right in. He just buries his face into your cunt, lapping his tongue up and down your folds. He pushed his tongue anywhere he could. He pushed between your folds, nestling his tongue right inside and against your entrance. He could feel the small opening and his cock immediately twitched in his pants. His cock was supposed to fit in there? While he didn’t want to hurt you, Harry was so interested and curious to see how you’d take all of him. He knew it wasn’t impossible but it was definitely something he was excited to see in person. He was so excited that he couldn’t stop himself from digging his hips into the mattress below. You tasted so good, you were incredibly warm, and he was beyond excited to feel your cunt around his cock.
You on the other hand were falling apart at the seams. You were on cloud nine, completely obsessed with the way he was licking into you. His strokes weren’t those of someone who was skilled and had done this before. But they were definitely amazing and you couldn’t get enough. He was licking and sucking on you perfectly, he even managed to find your clit. And it was his first time ever. He even tried pushing the tip of his tongue into your entrance, prodding at your tight hole. And on top of all that, he was moaning against you, seemingly enjoying how you tasted. When he wasn’t licking at your cunt, Harry was licking your thighs, almost trying to clean you up. He licked your thighs, the area right outside of your pussy, and he even licked the area below your cunt. He was hypnotized by your cunt. He just wanted to stay between your legs forever and have his mouth on you while he humped the bed below him. Of course he wanted to push his cock into you, but after he ate your cunt.
“Need you inside me Harry!” You scream, bucking your hips up into his mouth a bit. You were feeling incredibly sensitive and you could feel your own release coming. And before you came, you needed to feel Harry’s cock inside of you. When he hears you beg for him to be inside of you, he immediately stops and pulls himself up from the bed. When he’s kneeling between your legs, your eyes travel up from his no doubt painfully large bulge to his face. From his mouth down to his chin, even his nose, Harry’s face was glistening with your juices.
“Whats so funny?” He asks confusedly.
“Your face is all wet.” You reply, a wide smile spread across your face in the process.
“I just love eating your pussy.” He says truthfully, leaning down for a kiss. When your lips connect, you wrap your arms around Harry’s neck to keep him down against you. His lips sloppily move against yours, moaning into your mouth as he pushes his clothed cock against your bare and incredibly sensitive cunt. Keeping one of his elbows planted on the bed, Harry brings his other hand down to his boxers and does his best to push them down his legs. He struggles a bit before finally getting them down enough to expose his cock. When you feel him nudge you a little bit, you immediately turn your mouth away from Harry’s, turning your attention downwards between his legs.
“Need some help baby?” You offer, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and extending them down to his hips. 
“Just need t’take them off.” He replies, quickly lifting himself up from on top of you to fully remove his boxers. Harry then goes back to kneeling between your legs, now with his painfully hard and dripping cock on display. You knew that he was big from the glances you’d taken at his pants a couple times, but you didn’t know that he was this big. He was hands down the biggest you’d ever taken, and no one before him ever came close. On top of his monstrous size, you could see the thick veins running up his shaft and you saw precum beading at his swollen slit. You wanted him inside you first, but your mouth was definitely watering. You couldn’t wait until you were able to take him into your mouth and stuff all of him inside. But for now, you were excited to take him inside of you for the first time and be his first time.
“Are you ready babe?” You ask. 
“Mhm. I um- I bought some condoms just in case. It’s up to you though. I trust that you’re all good.” He says, laughing a little in the end. 
“I bought some too. But I think we’re good. And I trust that you’re all good as well.” You reply with a shy smile.
“Okay then, let’s do this.” He cheerfully says. 
“Let’s do it!” You reply, mirroring his excitement. “Do you want me on top or are you good?”
“I think I’m good.” He says, as he leans down to closely hover over you. “But I know you’re going to feel like heaven so I may not be.” 
“That’s okay, I can take control.” You reply suggestively, pulling your lower lip between your teeth. 
“Good, I like the sound of that.” He whispers in agreement, connecting his mouth with yours for one final kiss as he slowly and carefully pushes his cock against your folds. “Fuck, m’gonna push in now baby.” He pants, already losing his shit over how warm and wet your folds feel against his cock.
“Please.” You moan, needing to be full of his cock. 
And with that, Harry begins to push his cock into you, using one of his hands to guide himself inside. When Harry pushes past your entrance, you two lose it. You were so tight that when his engorged head pushes into you, there a piercing sensation that comes along with it. You hadn’t had sex in a very long time and Harry’s size was completely unmatched. For Harry, he was on the verge of collapsing on top of you. You were so so tight and warm and wet, he’d never felt anything like it. No matter how much lube he used or how fast he tugged at his shaft, he never and would never be able to match the decadence of your walls around him. And he’d only pushed the head of him inside. He actually had to stop for a second to get his bearings because his head was spinning. Once he’s caught his breath and the room stopped spinning as fast, Harry continues pushing himself inside. With every inch that becomes sheathed with your walls, your combined moans get louder. Your mouths mouth never closed, and your eyes fluttered shut as you two enjoyed the pleasure. You were in love with the perfectly balanced mix of pain and pleather came from Harry pushing into and stretching your your walls a bit to accommodate his size. Harry was taken to a different universe from the way your walls engulfed his cock. You could even feel him twitch a bit from how good he felt. 
By the time he finished pushing into you, Harry’s cock was lodged all the way inside you. So deep you could just about feel him in the pit of your stomach. It was hands down incredible for the two of you. After holding himself inside of you for a little while, Harry begins to move himself back and forth inside of you. Since it was his first time doing this and feeling this for that matter, his thrusts were a bit sloppy and staggered. He tried to form a faster rhythm, or a rhythm at all but he was so overwhelmed. 
“Thought I could hold it longer, but I don’t think I can. Can’t even hold myself up.” He slurs, trying to continue with his thrusts. 
“Gonna get on top baby.” You moan, feeling your own release getting even closer. Without a single hesitation, you push the two of you over to that you’re on top of him, straddling his waist and keeping his cock deep inside of you. Once your adjusted on top of him, feeling like his cock was deeper than before if that was even possible, you begin to move yourself up and down on him. You weren’t going super fast, you were going fast enough to make you and Harry really feel it and get closer and closer to your releases. Harry was loudly moaning and whimpering below you, tightly intertwining his fingers with yours as he surrenders to you, and your pussy. He thrashed his head back and forth against the pillows from how good he was feeling. 
“Y’so big!” You cry out to him, beginning to quickly grind down onto his cock, pushing forward a bit to dig your clit into his lower stomach. “And so deep! Can feel you all the way in here!” You cry out to him, bringing your intertwined hands up to your lower stomach for him to feel.
“Fuck Y/n! Can’t hold it anymore! Need t’cum” He groans, feeling his release beginning to consume his body.
“Me too baby! We can cum together!” You whimper, leaning down to lay on his chest. And as you begin to leave soft kisses on Harry’s lips and face, your walls begin to contract around his cock, signaling to him that you were cumming. When he felt this, Harry came right along with you. He coats all of your walls in his warm, thick, and sticky cum, spraying rope after rope into you until he couldn’t cum anymore. Your legs were full on shaking as you squirted all over his cock. The both of you were moaning messes and completely dumbstruck at how powerful your releases were. Nothing could ever compare to this and neither of you wanted to test out that theory. After letting go of everything you two had to give, you and Harry lied limply in bed, letting your bodies rest.
“I love you baby.” Harry whispers sluggishly below you.
“I love you too baby.” You softly reply back to him, nuzzling your face into his warm neck.
For the next half hour, the two of you lay there together, resting your bodies and minds from the extraordinary experience the two of you had. You two were lying there peacefully, enjoying the feeling of each others bodies and the music that was still playing through your speaker. Out of the two of you, Harry was the first to break the silence. Except, it wasn’t from him talking. It was from his stomach, letting the both of you know that he needed to be fed asap. 
“When we can feel our legs again, we can eat I guess.” You breathe out through a laugh, still recovering from the most amazing sex you’d ever had and probably some of the best sex of all human history in your opinion. Even though it was his first time, Harry still managed to make a mess of you. 
“Mhm, and then we can go again.” He hums dreamily, not even caring about his grumbling stomach, completely in the clouds from how amazing his first time was. He came in with his “expectations” and was completely blown out of the water. He just wanted to go again and again and again until he was fully numb and wiped out. “Maybe you can be on your front this time.” He suggests, thinking of all the ways he wanted to feel you around him.
“I think I may have created a sex monster.” And to be honest, you really didn’t mind that at all.
“Only for you my love.” He hums, wrapping his arms around your body. 
And for the rest of the night, you and Harry never stopped, loving being tangled up in each other. It wasn’t always in bed, but neither of you cared. All you two cared about was being together, feeling good, and being in love. This was truly a special valentine. It was one that neither you nor Harry would ever forget.
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parkersroses · 3 years
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sunflowers. | harry styles.
pairing: harry styles x fem!reader (dad!harry, husband!harry)
summary: harry is very much in love with his little family.
word count: 2724 words
warning(s): a sprinkle of sexual mentions and a whole lot of fluff
disclaimer: gif is not mine. 
author’s note: hey there. been a while. i missed writing here and the reason i haven’t been doing that is because i was focused on finishing school. of course now, i still am busy with school, having to start my degree. but i miss writing so i thought i’d make this little piece here. it’s my first harry styles fic! quite exciting and nerve-wrecking for me. but as always, leave a like and a comment if you enjoyed this, also constructive comments do help me to improve my writing and i do want to be better at it. and reblog (!) it really helps writers out in creating content for you so pls do so if you like it. all the love x
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She pushes her cart down the aisle as she browses through the shelves of delicious snacks. She already has picked out a bunch of biscuits and juice boxes when her phone rings, making her jump a bit. She takes out her phone and smiles as the screen showcases the contact name ‘lovie’ with a picture of her husband. She accepts the call as she continues to stroll down the aisle. 
“Hi, lovie!” she answers happily. “Hello, darling. Hope everything’s alright there,” Harry answers back. She giggles as she stops by the fruits and vegetables section. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that since you’re the one that’s looking after the house?” She questions about Harry’s intention of calling her. He chuckles through the phone. “Pfft, don’t be silly, love. I got everything under control here,” He says. She imagines how he is probably pouting a bit on the other side of the phone as she playfully rolls her eyes. 
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, hun. Now, what do you need?” She asks, figuring that Harry has some last minute additions to the grocery. Harry hums and thinks as Y/N picks out some fresh salads. “Could maybe buy more bread for us?” He asks, which confuses Y/N as she thought she has already bought bread for them.
“Harry, didn’t I already buy those, like, two those days ago?” She questions as she starts picking out some fruits. She picks out two packets of strawberries and grapes each and one honeydew melon. She feels as though Harry is hesitating to answer back through the phone. “Yeah, but.. I got hungry so I finished most of them,” He says as though he is embarrassed by admitting this to his wife. Y/N only giggles at this information. 
“You and your bread. Any kind that you fancy this time?” She asks as she makes her way to the wet area of the supermarket. “Just the usual ones. Oh, and the whole wheat bread if there’s any,” He requests. Y/N hears the sound of cutleries clanking in the background, though she brushes it off, thinking it is just Harry cleaning the kitchen. “Alright. I’ll see you guys at home, yeah? I’m nearly done here,”
“Of course, darling. Bubs and I will be waiting,” he says, and Y/N smiles at the thought of her little family at home. The couple say their goodbyes and hang up. Y/N makes a note to herself to get some bread after picking out some salmon before checking herself out of the supermarket. 
After over a year of marriage, the both of them decided to start a family of their own. It excited her to think about Harry with their own child, knowing very well how good he is with children in general. They were both overjoyed by the news that they will be expecting a baby girl, more so of Harry than herself. He was ecstatic to be a father throughout the pregnancy journey. Even on the occasional dates they would go on, he would always make sure they picked some of the most private areas, paparazzi and fans-free. It was an important time for them and they wanted to keep things on the low most times. 
Now, their baby girl Rosie is six months old and is just the purest ball of sunshine and happiness. Harry and Y/N swore that their hearts grew ten times bigger upon first laying their eyes on her baby. Of course after she was born, it was tiring enough for them to handle a baby as they were new to being parents. Though, they managed to get the hang of it after some sleepless nights and cleaning up baby vomit. 
All of that which leads up to this moment where Y/N is buying some groceries for the family. Harry suggested they should take little Rosie out for a picnic. Although it was rather difficult to go outside without them getting papped and stalked, they luckily had a backyard that was big enough to have their little picnic together. It was all fenced up with a couple of flowers planted. It was ideally the perfect place to relax and have some family gatherings. 
Y/N quickly gets home in time for dinner, not before buying some Chinese food for her and Harry. She unlocks the door and quickly rushes by the living room and into the kitchen to put the heavy bags of groceries down. Harry, who had been folding the laundry and entertaining his daughter, notices his wife and calls out to her. “Hi, honey!” Baby Rosie, who has been laying on a plush little blanket, perks her head up and excitedly babbles after her father’s voice. “Hey, lovie! Give me a minute to put these away!” Y/N yells back at him.
Harry hums and puts away the last of the clean laundry in a basket before laying on his side next to Rosie. He lets his baby grab a hold of his large hand. He watches as Rosie puts his tiny little hand on the center of his palms, smiling widely as she looks at him and babbles about in baby language. It’s not long until Y/N comes in with a bag of Chinese food and some baby food. “C’mon, let’s eat, my loves,” She gently says as she sets the food down on the coffee table. Rosie holds out her arms to her mother; much to her delight, Y/N carries her up and sets her down on her lap. 
Y/N multitasks eating her dinner and feeding Rosie throughout dinner time. The faint sounds of a Fleetwood Mac album playing on the vinyl player filling the background. “So, what’s on the menu for tomorrow’s picnic?” He says as takes a bite off his spring roll. Y/N shrugs and wipes the excess baby food off Rosie’s mouth. “Don’t know yet. Maybe I’ll make those smoked salmon sandwiches that you like.”  
Harry playfully moans in delight. “You mean, those sandwiches you make are award-winning, darling,” he says, which makes Y/N giggles at her silly husband. “Well, I hope they are, Mr. Styles. Would be shameful if the salmon I bought just went to waste.” Little Rosie eventually finishes her food and decides to play around with her mother’s hair. She stares and strokes on Y/N’s hair, gently tucking it at times. The couple smiles widely at the sight of their daughter. “You doing alright, bubs?” Rosie merely stares at her parents with her big green eyes, not understanding their question. It still amazes Y/N how much of Harry’s features Rosie inherited. “Surely you weren’t a handful with your daddy this evening, were you?” Y/N playfully questions. 
Harry chuckles and takes Rosie out of Y/N’s arms. “No, she wasn’t. However, she wasn’t helpful in helping daddy with the laundry, were you princess?” He says as he lifts his baby girl above both of the couple’s heads, eliciting the sweetest laugh from Rosie. He does this a few more times until he stops since he didn’t want her to get dizzy and throw up. 
It was a very domestic moment for them. Just the three of them, having dinner, smiles and laughter all around. It is moments like this where Harry prefers the simplicity of life, in the comfort of his little family. “Think it’s time for someone to go to dreamland, don’t ya think?” Y/N says as she caresses Rosie’s soft cheeks with her finger, Rosie obviously showing her tiredness with her droopy eyes. Harry nods in agreement, already packing up to empty food boxes to throw away. 
“You wanna go up first, love? Nurse Rosie a bit. I’ll clean this up quickly.” Y/N insists on helping out Harry after he’s taken care of the house while she went to buy groceries. Though, Harry insists back on helping to clean, saying it’s no big deal. Without much of an argument, Y/N lifts up Rosie from his arms and heads up, not before giving Harry a loving kiss of appreciation. 
After nursing her, Rosie quickly falls asleep in her mother’s arms, lulling to the faint sounds of her heartbeat as she rests her little head on her chest. Harry soon joins in the room and he stops to admire the sight he has become all too familiar with. Just the sight of the woman he loves, carrying and rocking their baby daughter to sleep, a feeling of warmth and peace fills his entire heart. Sometimes, he can’t believe how lucky he was to have ended up in this position and he always thanks the universe for blessing him a family that he loves with his entire soul. 
Rosie gets tucked in her cot, a soft purple blanket covering her. Harry and Y/N go back into their room soon after. Harry lays on his bed with his eyes closed, humming a random tune while Y/N picks out her nightwear, which turns out to only be one of Harry’s T-shirts and underwear. “Can you believe she’s six months old now?” Harry asks out of the blue. Y/N turns around and stands between his legs. He sits up and gently pulls Y/N in by the waist. She runs her hands through his curls, he sighs in delight of the feeling. “Time flies, huh?” 
“Soon she’s gonna start walkin’, runnin’, she’ll become quite the troublemaker,” he jokes and pouts at Y/N. She chuckles at his silliness. “It’s nothing we can’t handle, right?” She smiles at him lovingly as she strokes his cheeks. Harry smiles back and puts his head on her stomach, giving it a light kiss through the dress she’s wearing. 
“Thank you. I feel like I haven’t said that enough,” he mumbles against her stomach. She looks down at him with a confused expression. “You carried her for a whole nine months and went through so much to deliver her to us. So, thank you. And I love you, darling. I’m so lucky.”
Y/N feels her breath hitched at his confession and she smiles at him. She leans down and kisses him hard. Sometimes, she thinks that she is the lucky one. She managed to find someone who loves and support her unconditionally, even through the late night snacks she had while pregnant with little Rosie. Harry doesn’t hesitate to kiss back and pulls her closer to him. She feels his tongue swipe across her bottom lip, asking for entrance. And who is she to deny making out with her incredibly talented and beautiful husband as she opens her mouth, making the kiss more passionate. Harry hears a soft moan from her and swears he feels shivers running up his spine.
They break away after feeling the oxygen running out of their lungs and lay their foreheads against each other’s, breathing heavily. “I love you, too,” she breathes out. They both smile widely at each other, feeling like teenagers in love. She pecks his lips one last time before pulling away from him. She starts undressing as she makes her way to the ensuite bathroom, Harry watching her every move as his mouth gapes open slightly. 
God, my wife is so fucking beautiful, he thinks to himself. He continues to admire Y/N as she undresses until she’s fully nude. He gulps as he feels the blood rushing towards his lower region.
Harry’s cut out from his thoughts as a piece of fabric flungs to his face. He grabs it from his face and he chokes on his saliva upon seeing Y/N laced lavender-coloured underwear. He looks up to his wife leaning against the bathroom door, every inch of her on display for him and him only.
“Mind joining me for a shower, baby?” she smirks as she quickly heads in the shower. 
When he hears the shower turn on, Harry jumps up from the bed and quickly takes off his clothes, tripping on his sweatpants on his way to join his wife in the shower.
Rosie giggles loudly and she reaches out for the blue butterfly in front of her. Y/N smiles at this soft moment and holds up her digital camera to take a picture. The sky was a nice shade of blue and clouds looked like cotton candy hanging above. The flowers in the garden were blooming and Harry managed to pick out two sunflowers for his sunflowers. It seemed like the perfect day.
Harry comes out with a bowl of freshly washed strawberries and grapes. He sits down next Y/N on the blanket they laid out, giving a soft kiss on her forehead, before looking over at his daughter. “What’s that, bub?” he asks Rosie in a seemingly excited voice. Rosie squeals and babbles to her father as she points out to the blue butterfly fluttering in front of her. 
“That’s right, bubs! That's a butterfly!” Harry picks her up and puts her on his lap. Y/N is already munching away on the strawberries. Harry opens his mouth to her, implying that he wants to be fed with the red fruits, Y/N rolls her eyes at his silliness but complies as she puts it in his mouth, plucking out the stem. As she does this, little Rosie looks at the exchange and opens her mouth wide, copying Harry. The couple merely laughed at the little girl’s behaviour. 
“You want a strawberry, Rosie?” Y/N smiles as picks one out, she bites lightly on the tip of it so Rosie could have the smallest bite of the fruit. Rosie whines and reaches out for the tiny piece. “Calm down, you bugger. Might wanna say ‘please’ to mommy first, yea?” Harry says to her gently as he rubs her back.
Of course, Rosie wouldn’t know how to say any words at all yet, so she babbles in her baby language and whines to be fed. “Think that might be ‘please’, love,” he says jokingly to his Y/N. 
“Well, who am I to say no to the cutest girl ever?” She jokes back and puts the tiny piece of strawberry in Rosie’s mouth, her mouth slightly stained from the juices. Harry wipes it off with a napkin and leans back on his arms, admiring the beautiful day outside. He takes in the clean summer air as he listens to his daughter babbling about to her mother, Y/N merely nods back as if she understands and talks in the most gentle voice to her. 
Harry sees Rosie picking up the large sunflower he picked out, her little fingers brushing against the yellow petals. He takes a look at Y/N and as he sees her smile, he thinks back about how lucky he is to have them two. There is not a day where Harry was never in awe of the love and passion Y/N gives to the family and he thinks of how he couldn’t possibly love his Rosie more every day. 
He breaks off the other sunflower from its stem and tucks it behind Y/N’s ear. She looks up and blushes at the gesture.  “You okay, H?” she asks. 
Harry nods and smiles at her. “I just really love you,” he says as he cups Y/N’s cheek, stroking it gently. 
Y/N feels the heat rising up to her cheeks. There is not a day where she’ll ever stop being in love with the man in front of her. She holds the hand that’s resting on her cheek and kisses it softly. “I really love you too,”
She leans forward and gives him a kiss or two. They both smile widely at each other, radiating the same amount of love, if not more, that they have for each other. Rosie squeals and claps her chubby hands together as she watches the sweet exchange between her parents. They both laugh at her cuteness. “And we love you too, my little love!” Y/N exclaims to her as she cups her cheeks and plants many kisses all over her face, making Rosie squeal in delight. Harry laughs and smiles at the sight. 
Life certainly feels good to him. Surrounded by the loves of his life, there’s no place or moment Harry would exchange this beautiful day with them. 
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angryinternetduck · 3 years
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yellow & blue
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[not my pic] Hello and welcome to 2.7k words of pure angst! This doesn’t really have a purpose lol but it’s sad and angsty and features 2020 Brits Harry so why not!!! Have some depressed Harry, angelic reader, and yellow suits. Featuring Harry Styles x famous!reader. Inspired by Woman by Harry Styles, It Isn’t Right by the Platters, and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars (which should give you an idea of just how angsty this is lmao).
The first time he met you, Harry was wearing a yellow suit. The first thing you said to him was a compliment about it. That suit sparked a conversation, and that conversation sparked an interest, and that interest sparked the best two years of Harry’s life.
If Harry said he hadn’t thought about that suit while preparing for the 2020 Brits, he’d be lying.
The chatter of the table he’s at isn’t boring by any means, but it’s not anywhere near captivating enough to keep Harry’s attention on the conversation and off of you. He heard about your new boyfriend, of course - who hasn’t - but this is your first public appearance together and Harry is having just a little bit of trouble breathing.
It’s been four months. Four months since you broke up, three since the news went public.
As far as the public knew, the separation was mutual. As a brand new artist, you needed to take a second to find yourself as a person. As Harry Styles, the man the myth the legend, Harry needed to focus on his next album and possible future acting career. He also supported you in your decision, and knew that the two of you would, of course, remain the best of friends.
Most of that’s true. You only just released your second album - which is doing spectacularly, of course - and Harry really does need to get this next album done. But it wasn’t mutual. Harry doesn’t think any of his break ups have been truly mutual. You broke up with him. There isn’t really any getting around it. Not that the public has to know.
The problem is that Harry understands why you broke up with him. As heartbreaking as it is, he realizes what he did. He knows that he wasn’t a good boyfriend. He doesn’t really have an excuse, either; he can explain away his faults all he wants, but at the end of the day, you’re just too good for him.
Which makes it all the more depressing to watch you positively glow without him.
Part of him wants to go over and beg for your forgiveness. He wants to walk over and get on his knees and say, I love you with all my heart and I’ll never make another mistake again and I’ll love you forever and ever, please, please take me back, I’ll do anything.
Another part of him loves you too much to do that. Maybe you’re meant to be with this new guy. Maybe he’s your one, your only, the one worthy of all your love and attention. Maybe he’ll make you happy in ways Harry never did.
Because really, all Harry wants is for you to be happy. He wants you to glow like this all the time, to forget the feeling of sadness, to never cry a single tear again. He wants the only pain you ever feel to be an ache in your cheeks from all your smiling.
He just wishes he could be the one putting that smile on your face.
One thing he’s noticed is that your happiness seems to coincide directly with his. Whenever you’re happy, he’s happy. Not at the moment, actually, because you seem happy as a clam and Harry feels like his chest is caving in on itself, but whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” he thinks of moments with you. Of moments when you were happy. Moments when you were happy because of him, with him, for him.
He surprised you with a picnic one year for your birthday. He went all out, spreading a blanket down and everything, and the two of you drank wine, ate sandwiches and snacks out of a picnic basket, and talked in Harry’s back yard until after the sun came up.
Whenever Harry thinks “happiness,” that is the moment that pops into his head.
It wasn’t a loud sort of happiness, either. It wasn’t a bouncing on top of the world, adrenaline rushing through his blood, head pounding with excitement and joy and energy sort of happiness. He wasn’t breathless or wide eyed or buzzing with emotion.
No, this was a quiet happiness. It was the very definition of content. It was your head on his shoulder, your hand intertwined with his, your whispers of, “I love you,” the soft kisses exchanged as the sun set and the stars began to twinkle into the sky. It was your giggles at his jokes, your eyes brighter than the moon, softer than the wispy clouds suspended in air.
Harry’s getting a hollow ache in his chest just thinking about it. It hurts, really, because each of those memories, those days, those nights, carved a little hole in him and filled him with love and adoration and the purest happiness anyone’s ever experienced in the history of the world.
Now that you’re gone, that happiness has disappeared and all that’s left is a hollow, empty pit.
Since you’ve been gone, other memories have started creeping out of the shadows. These are different memories, memories of Harry’s failure and your disappointment and nights spent apart and tears sliding down your cheeks.
The problem with these memories is that it’s not a specific memory. It’s not one singular memory that Harry can turn over and over in his head and decide what went wrong. It’s not one thing that Harry can think about and solidify and apologize for.
It’s a whole bunch of things. It’s all the nights spent at the studio instead of with you. It’s all the last minute anniversary gifts and half hearted, distracted dinners, and all the forgetting of events and details. It’s the gradual falling away of random weeknight flowers, it’s the slow decline of hidden poems around the house he set out for you to find.
Well, maybe there is one thing. It might have been that one date night he cancelled. It was at the very end, during the knowing glances after frequent fights, after the slow, painful descent into acceptance but before the official conversation.
Dancing with the Stars had come on TV one night.
“Hey, I’m a star,” you murmured to him, curled up against him on the couch.
“Got that right,” Harry hummed, and you smiled up at him, and that smile made this night one of the good memories. “It should be just us two,” you told him, watching the pairs made up of one professional dancer and one celebrity dance on screen. “No professional.”
You giggled. “Yeah, we’re too good for them anyway.”
You took to dancing around the house after that night. Your dancing always brought a smile to Harry’s face. Funny how all you had to do was twirl, laugh, smile, breathe, and Harry would want to smother you in kisses and gift you his entire heart.
Sometimes you managed to rope him into it. Often you wouldn’t. Often, Harry would wake up to soft music playing in the kitchen, and he would walk in and see you dancing. He’d sip his coffee, and you would spin around and make up fancy footwork, and Harry would grin and blow you kisses and whisper, “I love you.”
He offered to take you dancing one night. He lay next to you in bed and traced his fingertips over your cheeks, lips, nose, and told you all about the night the two of you would have. He talked about live music and warm food and twinkling stars and dancing. You closed your eyes and smiled and hummed one of his songs, and Harry kissed you.
Then he got busy at the studio on the night you decided on. He stayed long. He called you. You didn’t pick up, because you were in the shower, getting ready for you big night. And you didn’t see the voicemail until after you were ready, until after you were sitting on the couch waiting for him, and when you saw the voicemail you jumped up because you didn’t look at the time it was sent, and you thought the voicemail was him calling because he was outside to pick you up.
You weren’t crying when he arrived at home. You just had a quiet sort of disappointment in your eyes, one that was almost more painful than tears, because this look told Harry that some part of you expected this. Harry didn’t look particularly guilty because he hadn’t realized how excited you were. He thought you probably didn’t even get ready. He thought you’d say, “Aw, well,” and move on.
He didn’t think he’d find you on the sofa, dressed in the most beautiful summer dress he’d ever seen, looking like an angel with a broken wing. He never dreamed you’d be so upset, never dreamed he’d be the reason for you being so upset.
That was the night he realized he was nothing but a mortal man in the presence of an angel.
An actual, real live angel.
An actual, real live angel who was losing her glow because of him.
Harry takes a miserable sip of his drink and tries to involve himself in the conversation happening around him. It doesn’t work. The noise level in the room is almost headache inducing, but somehow Harry can still pick out your laugh through the chatter.
He thinks, for a moment, that he’d like a shot of that laughter. He’d like to bathe in your happiness just once more. Maybe that’s all the closure he needs. A gasp of fresh air after what seems like eons of suffocating loneliness.
Then Harry thinks he sounds pathetic even in his own head and he excuses himself from his table. He walks almost blindly through the halls without even a semblance of an idea as to where he’s going. It’s quiet out here, at least, and he can clear his head, and take a breath, and maybe -
"Hey.”
Harry freezes.
For a moment, he thinks he’s imagining things. Then he turns around, and as it happens, he’s not.
There you are, in all your glory, a hesitant smile on your lips. You’re wearing a lavender dress. It fits you perfectly, makes you look like you’re floating off the ground, and Harry wants to cry because it matches his bow perfectly and that wasn’t even planned and goddammit, universe, that’s just salt in a gaping wound.
“Nice suit,” you say, and now your smile looks more sad than hesitant, and Harry feels the tears building in his throat because you remember too, of course you do, and Harry opens his mouth to reply but he can’t get his words out and now he’s on the verge of tears not only because he’s sad but also because he’s embarrassed.
“Thanks,” Harry finally chokes out.
“You’re welcome.”
The corridor suddenly feels long and empty and silent.
“Heard Feather on the radio the other day,” you say.
Feather. One word, a million memories shifting through Harry’s head faster than lightning.
A gifted necklace, filled notebooks, picked out notes, hummed melodies. Murmured lyrics in ears in early mornings. Night after night in the studio, together. Rubbish takeaway food, in the studio, together. Laughter over everything and nothing. Falling over each other in the booth, soft sighs and blissful gasps replacing giggles and shrieks of amusement. Late, late nights, together. Hearing it on the radio for the first time, together, almost driving off the road because of the excitement.
Hearing it on the radio last time, alone, almost driving off the road because of the stab of grief.
Harry’s not sure what to say to that. What do you expect him to? Oh, great, me too, fantastic song, innit? So he pauses for a moment and then replies, “We should make a sequel.” That gets a laugh out of you, and the thought strikes Harry to bottle it up and wear it in a little bottle around his neck.
“That would be something, huh?” you say.
“Call me,” Harry says. “I’ll book a studio.”
You smile. “Yeah, sure.”
“Don’t forget,” Harry tells you.
“I won’t,” you say, and there’s a beat of silence. Your smile fades as you look at him, as he looks at you, and Harry looks away because your smile’s about to disappear completely and Harry doesn’t think he could stand being the cause of your smile disappearing one more time.
You clear your throat. “Alright, well… Expect that call.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll see you around, H,” you say.
“See ya.”
You turn around and walk away. Float away. Fly away.
Again.
Flight, Harry thinks, watching you go. That’s what the sequel would be called. Feather. Flight.
You wore a white dress the first time the two of you performed it live. It’s such a love song. It’s the sappiest shit ever written by anyone in the entire world. If anyone else had written it, Harry would’ve rolled his eyes and said, Bullshit.
But it wasn’t. The song wasn’t, the love wasn’t, nothing was. It was the complete opposite. As pure and true as love could possibly be. Which makes it all the more painful that Harry couldn’t keep his shit together enough for you.
That’s another one of the Happy Memories: that first time performing together. You in your white dress, Harry in a silver, shimmering suit. The two of you did a whole choreography; you messed up every other move and Harry tripped over his own feet quite a few times, but the effort was there. The combination of the overwhelming yet familiar excitement of being on stage and the otherworldly bliss of simply being in your presence is a feeling Harry will never forget.
The air in the hallway grows heavier and heavier with each passing second.
Harry should get back to his table.
He starts to walk. He peers up at the ceiling as he does, hands locked behind his back, deep in thought. People are cheering out in the main room. Harry listens to the noise and closes his eyes, trying to shut his brain off.
The fans, he remembers, were devastated upon hearing the news of your breakup. It was kept quiet long enough that the questions and concerns weren’t particularly invasive, but it still hurt. It hurt like hell. It was ripping off the bandaid of the first month and poking and prying at the wound until Harry cried onstage and ducked out of an interview and missed a show.
Feather was taken off the setlist.
Once, during a lull in a show, the audience began to sing it. That was kind of strange. Harry looked up at the bright lights and swaying figures and heard his song, your song, being sung back to him by hundreds of strangers. It occurred to him, then, that it was not, in reality, your song. By that point, it meant something to other people as well.
That was very strange.
Harry ended up strumming out the chords for them. He smiled when the audience grew louder.
He heard later that the exact same thing happened to you. It was a few nights later, maybe the next week, and there were some technical issues. In the quiet, the fans began to sing Feather. You joined in just a second later, adding in your bit of the choreography.
Harry tried his hardest not to watch the footage, he really did, but he couldn’t help it.
He cried a lot that night.
When he finally makes it back to the main room, you’re situated under your new boyfriend’s arm, smiling brilliantly. Harry looks away as he sits down and downs the last of his drink. He grins at whoever’s talking at his table and shuts off his brain.
At the end of the night, through an alcohol- and exhaustion-muddled haze, Harry spots you by the door. He sweeps you up and plants a big messy kiss on your cheek, which you return with giggles and a kiss of your own. Harry leaves the 2020 Brits with two lipstick prints on him.
Despite the pictures splattered everywhere the next morning, Harry feels an air of contentment.
It’s done, he thinks, taking a deep breath. It’s done, and that’s good.
Because really, nothing gold can stay.
Not even the gold of a yellow suit.
***
ummm... yeah lol. hope u liked it...? lskdjf anyway there's that.
thx for reading! a reblog and some feedback would be fantastique!!!!
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rightsockjin · 3 years
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Summary: Your best friend of your near entire life has been a total asshat to you ever since you started to casually date which didn't seem super fair to you since he did the exact same thing and you were nothing but supportive! It just sucks that you two are growing apart over a coping mechanism that you adopted to distract yourself from your overwhelming crush on said idiot. If only he knew. Wait- did you say that OUT LOUD?
Rating: M (What isn't on this blog?)
Genre: Maybe a little angst? Smut for sure tho.
Word count: 8003
Warnings: Thongs, sex, lewd thoughts, erections, physical pushing, raw dogging, cream pie, mentions of giving head, a looooooottt of swearing, mentions of slut shaming. Oh right- oppa kink and little splashes of korean as well.
yeo-chin= girlfriend
nam-chin= boyfriend
halmoni= grandma
apa=to hurt
aya=expression to express pain equivalent to 'ow'
Author’s note: HI EVERYONE! We are somewhat back!! So sorry for the long wait for content. Things have been insane and we’ve been working on a much- much longer fic for this blog which will involve all of the boys! It’s a long story but this hit me like a truck yesterday and it was initially meant to be a reaction but I couldn’t stop writing… so it’s 7k and the other boys will get their own version of this prompt “best friend is jealous of the attention you give to guys” thing. Starting once again with the one and only Yoongi! Hope y’all enjoy:)
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“You know it’s funny, I don’t remember asking,” Yoongi said virulently, his attention centered solely on his phone as he scrolled through instagram... or twitter... or maybe it was tinder. Your heart sank. You had been excited that this guy- Woojin- had given you attention. He was good looking by a lot of standards and it had boosted your confidence significantly. Of course, you wanted to share that excitement with your best friend. Rejecting someone that good looking always made you feel really powerful and attractive but you had barely shown him Woojin’s picture and commented on how attractive he was before your so called best friend had brushed you off and went back to his solitude and avoidance.
You had noticed that something was off for a while now but hadn’t commented on anything to avoid any conflicts but this was ridiculous. You had constantly listened to the stories of how girls would trickle in like water for him. He seemed to be going out with someone new every two weeks.
It wasn’t fair that you had to put up with his annoying descriptions of how beautiful these girls were while you sat and gave him your undivided attention as your heart slowly chipped and broke with each new conquest of his. Especially when each girl was so different from who you were. At first, you thought that maybe you were annoyed by this simply because it was hurtful to think he didn’t at least think you were pretty. It wasn’t long after that that you realized that it hurt you when he went out with women who were your polar opposite because it meant that he would never date you.
This had been shocking in itself. You had known Yoongi for your entire life, or at least a good portion of it, and you had always seen him as a brother. Your oppa in the least sexual or boyfriend-y form possible, but when you looked at him now… he was looking a lot more like well- an oppa.
Your mouth opened and closed like a fish. His words stung more than you would like to admit. Whenever Yoongi got this snippy, you liked to equal him in snip and double him in sass, never showing how vulnerable his disinterest made you feel, but this time, it felt like he had punched you in the chest with all his force and told you you were ugly to boot.
You didn’t want to cry in front of him either. He’d make fun of you. Last time you had cried, he’d awkwardly pat you on the head and quickly changed the very serious topic of your parents' relationship with yours to something totally different and not even a little relevant to helping you feel better. Given, that had been years ago and he’d never been very good at comforting you nor had he so much as expressed his support of you. Not since that one time when you had broken your wrist and he’d promptly pushed the girl who had been the culprit off the swing set thus getting himself suspended for a week and a half when you were both in elementary school.
But this… this was just cruel. It was ugly. It made you look at your “best friend” in a light that was not so shiny and pristine. He’d changed so much since then. He’d pulled away from you since then and you hadn’t even noticed. Or maybe you had and had just ignored it. Maybe you’d hoped if you didn’t mention it, that it would go away and he would come back full force with one of his dumb dances and pretty smiles. Maybe you hoped he’d realize soon what you had realized in your early twenties.
You loved him. And not the brotherly love that you had always had for him, no, you, Y/N, were very much in love with your best friend. Which made this whole situation so much worse.
When you said nothing, Yoongi briefly glanced up at you from his seemingly important phone conversation with most likely another of his soon to be dates only to look back down.
“What? Cat got your tongue? No snippy rebuttal? You’re not gonna chew me out for being mean to you again?”
His face was illuminated by the blue lights of his screen; he had it at the near darkest setting and his eyes were squinted to see it better. Something that had always annoyed you because you knew it was only hurting his vision.
You swallowed the lump in your throat. When that didn’t help, you cleared it, accidentally catching his attention. He clicked his phone off and looked over at you as if ready to argue but something in your face must have given away your inner turmoil because his hard features softened and his lips fell slightly open.
“Are you crying?”
No. Of course you weren’t crying. You never cried. Not ever. But then your cheeks were wet and the onslaught of emotion seemed to burst. How far had you fallen for this indefinitely cold man that his sarcasm made you fall in hysterics? Far it seemed. Too far.
You angrily wiped the tears away from your burning skin and crossed your arms over your chest. The hoodie you had stolen from him earlier that day felt like sandpaper against your skin as opposed to the comfort you’d initially felt when slipping over your head and smelling the fresh scent of his cologne clinging to it.
You felt him shift on the couch to face you fully, out of the corner of your eye, you could see his features had turned worried, alarmed even but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him nor care. Too little too late.
“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry.”
The words hung in the still air like a wrong note played in a symphony. It made your head spin and ache.
You didn’t dare speak. It would only give away how truly hurt you were by his words and actions. You didn’t want to be around him anymore.
Abruptly, you stood up and yanked the hoodie from your body. The tank you had on pulled up slightly showing the skin of your belly. It was lopsided, you noted when you looked down and saw that one side was pulled over and under your bra and the other was too high on your chest but you didn’t really care.
Yoongi watched you with conflict evident in his eyes, if only you would turn to see. He hadn’t meant to offend you. He’d only been trying to keep you at arms length. You had also been going out with multiple guys, telling him how good looking and tall they all were. Most of these men were also built like rocks and he himself was toned at best. Contrary to what you thought, Yoongi had come to the realization that he’d been in love with you since you were kids. He did not tolerate when anyone made you feel like shit, and, being a very mature kid, he’d told his mother quite early on that he would marry you someday. Of course, she’d only chastised him and told him that he couldn’t possibly know what love was nor could he force you to marry him, but he was adamant.
He’d stopped telling her about it after that though, and instead of telling you how he felt, he’d opted instead to watch over you and make sure nothing happened. So when in high school, you had started to date and it had not been him whom you had chosen, he’d made sure to keep the sorry excuse of a man you had chosen in line. That was… until the incident.
Yoongi would never forgive himself for not being there. For not stopping the bastard who thought he owned you. He’d never forgive the idiot either and if you hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed him with his bare fists then stuffed his own socks in his mouth.
It was then that Yoongi realized that you deserved better than him, and at the same time, no one was worthy of you. It was a strange dynamic. He’d never once approved of your dates, but had decided to start dating other women because, let's face it, he was a guy and he’d like to have children someday but not even in his wildest dreams could he think that you would ever settle for him. Someone who’d failed you as your self imposed protector.
Not that you knew any of that. You didn’t know that Yoongi often teamed up with your other best friend, your girl best friend to scope out your dates once you’d left. You’d almost caught them once as well and it had been by pure luck and the hair of a very out of place clown that both of them had escaped your wrath that night. You also didn’t notice that after you had fully broken up with that first asshole, he’d threatened to beat him to a pulp if he so much as breathed in your direction once more and later, he’d threatened ‘asshole’ two and three with the same things.
But then your dates had gotten taller and stronger and much harder to intimidate. He’d once made the mistake of threatening a casual date that you’d set up who was at least a solid half foot taller than him and he’d been laughed out of the restaurant only to find out later that the jerk had forced a kiss on you.
No, Yoongi’s days as your protector had dwindled and left him feeling half of the man he’d already thought he was and so his only defense, his only way to keep you safe- though now that he was watching tears well in your eyes he wondered what logic he’d used to justify this behavior- was to be the asshole himself and teach you how to deal with them on a first hand basis.
He hated himself for making you cry. He hated that you looked so dejected and hurt and like you never wanted to speak another word to him again. He hated that your shoulders slumped and that your pretty eyelashes were coated in wet tears and it was all on him.
“You know what,” you finally managed to say with some semblance of calm under the storm that was brewing in the irises he’d so loved, “I think we’ve grown apart a little too much. Maybe we should just- cut our losses and,” you heaved a deep breath, trying to keep yourself calm, “stop seeing each other.”
Were you breaking up with him? How were you even going to break up with him if you weren’t even dating? Yoongi’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He had tunnel vision. All he could see was you and the way that you seemed to pull yourself up from the ground, rebuilding before his eyes.
“Stop see-what? Are you demented?”
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Was that all he was capable of being? Wrong. Incorrect. Inexact. Erroneous. Mistaken. He was plain stupid for the words he’d let slip but there was no taking them back now.
You let your eyes widen as you wiped more of your furiously falling tears from your skin. You turned to face him, your shirt fixed and covering you exactly how it should and your features set and intentional.
“What’s the point? You clearly don’t want to be around me anymore and I’m tired of being berated every time I mention a guy. You’re the most unsupportive friend I have and that’s because I’ve known you the longest. If you don’t want to be my friend just say so instead of slut shaming me and bullying me every chance you get you asshat.”
“Asshat,” he chuckled, crossing his sleeve-covered arms over his toned chest, “real clever, Y/N. Is that all you got, kid? You never were one for words were you? Why don’t you just sock me instead?”
Oh you were considering it. He seemed so unbothered by the prospect of losing you that you realized maybe you had already lost him and hadn’t realized. You had dealt with your fair share of jerks in your life, but you had always counted on Yoongi to be your hope. He’d shown you that there were men in the world that seemed to care about women. Men who could love you even when you felt unlovable, unworthy, but here he was, proving to you once again that all men were the same evil and vile creatures, incapable of love or kindness if they weren’t getting their dicks wet.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you? Then you could go around saying that I’m a crazy bitch. You know what? Fuck you Min Yoongi. I hope you get well and royally fucked.” You yelled, grabbing the tote bag you’d brought over from your apartment and stomping to the door.
“Fuck you too,” he yelled, following you to the door. He caught you at the landing strip, prying on your chunky sneakers with a bit of difficulty, your house slippers, the ones he’d bought you, lay haphazardly nearby.
“And fuck all of those asshole guys you keep bringing home. Better yet, I hope you don’t fuck them.”
You turned your head up to look at him, confusion and disgust written all over your face.
“What the fuck do my dates had to do with what a fucking jerk you are?”
Choosing to ignore your question, he focused instead on your insult, “A jerk, am I? Well you’re a bitch. How do you like that?”
He didn’t know why he was insulting you. He didn’t think you were actually a bitch, but the anger on your face made him feel better.
It was followed by near instant regret as you drew yourself up to your full height and looked at him with pure venom in your gaze.
“I’m a bitch?”
“Yeah,” he breathed, trying to keep his shoulders square, but you were scary when angry and he’d never fared well in fights with you.
“I’m the bitch?”
“You heard me!”
You balled your fists at your sides, your eyebrows connected in the center and your breathing was heavy. He knew better than to use the B-word.
“You’re a piece of shit.” It was low but your voice carried and hit all of the bones in his body before it hit his heart and burrowed deep in the wounds he’d stitched up but pulled open multiple times over the years that pertain only to you.
“You are a sorry excuse of a man,” you growled, pushing him by the chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you noted that it felt really firm and stronger than before.
“You’re an ass, Min Yoongi,” you continued, giving him another push so that he stumbled slightly back into the living room of his apartment once again.
“You low life,” another push, closer to the couch, “weak minded,” you shoved him, he sidestepped the glass coffee table where your untouched coffee mugs still rested, probably cold by now, “son of a bitch, fucking baby, involved sorry excuse of a man-” He fell onto the cough. Your vision was red.
“You already used that insult.” Was all he said as you stood over him, your chest heaved with the exertion of trying to keep yourself from slapping the now blank expression from his face.
A slew of incomprehensible noises escaped from your lips as words completely left your brain. Damn him. Damn this idiot of a man that you were in love with. He could go to hell for all you cared and you hoped that the devil himself ripped his testicles off and served them on a platter with some kimchi and fried rice.
“Okay first of all- ow,” The asshole said, pulling you back to reality and not your fictitious rework where Yoongi was now sitting at the end of a long table being force fed his own balls, “And second…”
You held your breath. Fear ran down your spine. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud-
“You-you’re in love with me?”
Well… he got his wish, you were royally fucked. Instantly, you tried to back track. Your mind kept replaying in your head what you had said and tried to correct itself but you couldn’t think of anything that could possibly absolve you.
“Like a brother,” you said finally, your voice shaky and thin.
Yoongi only blinked up at you. What you said was bullshit and he knew it. You knew it too.
“You’re in love with me… like a brother?”
“Oppa,” you clarified as if that would somehow make more sense, and it did kind of, but it didn’t absolve you at all. In fact, this only made a smile tug at his lips, his pearly teeth suddenly on display, blinding. You fought the smile that threatened to pull at yours too. It was always hard because his smile was so contagious.
Yoongi stood. He was less than an inch away from your own body. You felt small, meek. You’d misstepped this big game of chess you seemed to be playing. He was going to make fun of you. He’d never let you live it down. You liked him.
“You like me,” as if he had read your mind, he echoed your thoughts, or maybe you had spoken that out loud as well.
“No I don’t,” you argued, taking a step back just so you could have some space to breathe.
“Oh yeah you do,” Yoongi argued, his smile so wide you were sure it would hurt the muscles in his cheeks
“No,” you said again, not really thinking anything you said at this point would convince him otherwise. The son of a bitch was stubborn.
“Admit it,” he said, closing the distance between you again, his neck craned down to look directly at your face.
“I don’t like you!” You tried to take another step back but the coffee table knocked your feet out from under you. You fell onto it knocking Yoongi’s mug of coffee over. The black decaf liquid seeped into your shorts.
Yoongi’s rusty laugh was pried from his throat as he watched your face contort. He was having the time of his life, it seemed. Good for him.
“Stop laughing at me,” you groaned, your cheeks red. You were practically sweating from how feverish you felt.
It was like you hadn’t spoken. Your shorts were wet and made you feel sticky. In a fit of anger, like a child throwing a tantrum, you unbuttoned the denim and ripped them from your legs. This shut Yoongi up instantly. With the soiled fabric, you cleaned up the liquid before it fell onto the light grey carpet.
Yoongi stilled as his eyes traveled up and down your long legs.The way you were twisting, he could see the back of your left thigh up to where it met your ass- your bare ass. You were wearing a thong.
God help him, he was rapidly getting hard. He forced his eyes away from you, his walls being pulled back up at seeing you naked. Well partially so. He pushed his hands into his oversized hoodie and made sure that it covered his front. The last thing he needed was for you to see.
But then you turned and pulled your legs together, your thighs squishing attractively. What he wouldn’t give to be choked by those thighs.
“Let me wash those for you,” he said tightly, pulling a hand from his hoodie to take the soiled shorts, the hem of the fabric pulled up enough for you to see exactly what he’d been trying to hide.
Yoongi had a hard on. You weren’t sure why exactly you were surprised. You were attractive, that much you knew, but you never really expected for your best friend to see you in that way. In fact, you were pretty sure that you’d been in your underwear in front of him before and he hadn’t even given you a second glance, but there was the evidence. And God was there a lot of evidence.
Slowly, you handed him the shorts. His hand grabbed them tightly, avoiding touching any part of your hand with his. Then, after a slight pause, he turned on his heels and walked towards the kitchen to put the shorts into the washer.
You’d called him oppa. You rarely called him oppa and it had hypersensitized him to the word coming from your lips. Other girls called him oppa sometimes and it had no effect on him but there he was, stiff as a board and it had something to do with you calling him oppa and your state of undress. Fuck. He was fucked. So fucked.
At least he wished he could be… But no. He pushed those thoughts from his head as he threw in some nice scented soaps into the wash and clicked it to life. He shut his eyes, trying to think of anything that would drain the blood from his member- halmeoni maybe?- but your voluptuous ass kept intruding, giving his halmeoni some nice curves that messed with her wrinkled face. He shook his head once more and decided he’d just have to hide his boner until it went away, or go beat one out in the restroom really quick.
He grabbed a pair of his clean sweat pants from the drying rack to give to you, just so you would be comfortable, he told himself, not because the thought of your naked butt in them made him unspeakably horny.
But when he got back to the living room, what he found was not you, covering yourself with a pillow like he’d expected, but you, only in your thong- fuck did it have to be a thong?- and your bra. Your shirt was nowhere to be seen.
“Fuck me,” he groaned, burring his head in his hands and turning away from you.
“I mean, if you ask nicely enough that can be arranged,” you answered rather boldly. There was no way for him to know that you were quaking in fear for his rejection.
Yoongi’s dick twitched in his sweats.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said under his breath as his heart beat faster. He felt like he was having a whole heart attack. He patted his chest, hoping to calm it down knowing it was useless.
Should he go for it? You had just admitted accidentally that you did have feelings for him and you were clearly propositioning him. Should he just-
He turned around, back to face you, determination paining his expression. Still on the coffee table, your legs were spread open, only covered by the thin sliver of fabric that your thong allotted. You were a little cold, but all of that melted away when you saw the way that Yoongi’s eyes roamed your exposed body, then stopped abruptly to meet your own.
He was in front of you in seconds, his longer legs carried him farther and faster than you had anticipated. Then he was pulling you to stand. You wobbled on your legs but one of his arms found its way around your waist. His free hand came up and held your jaw with two fingers on either side of your face, squishing your lips together slightly. His hot, heavy member pressed against your stomach through his sweats. He was so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath and the fading smell of his cologne you loved so much. All you wanted was to grind against him but you were held too tightly.
“You never know when to shut up do you?” But he didn’t let you answer. He crashed his soft lips onto yours, his hold on your jaw ached but you didn’t care. There was a passion in his kiss that you hadn’t expected, subtly dwindling to something more like tenderness, and the kiss continued. His lips dragged against yours delicately, pinching your top one with both of his. Small breaths came out of his nose, whistling softly against your cheek. You timed your breaths with his, high on the feeling of finally being kissed, coveted by him. Was it real? Was this actually happening?
Your brain suddenly caught up with your body. The rightness that came with the way he was kissing you, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like he needed you to properly breathe, was like nothing you could have imagined.
The hand on your waist was drawing small circles where the elastic of your thong rested, his index finger casually hooked onto and under pulling lightly. You pressed yourself tighter than he had you against his erection. He groaned, his mouth opening and his tongue suddenly darting out to taste. He pulled your jaw open, granting himself entrance and exploring your mouth.
You moaned, a sound so sensuous and wanton that Yoongi felt that he could cum just from those sounds alone. He wanted more. He wanted you to sing his praises as he fucked into you and caressed your chest. He wanted you to drool around his cock and to have your sweet mouth wrapped tight around it. He wanted to feel you gag at his girth and he wanted to pull at your hair. But most of all, he wanted to kiss you, just like how he was at that moment. He wanted to kiss you until he’d taken your soul from your body and replaced it with his own. He wanted to kiss you until he could erase every trace of all of the men who’d hurt you and made you doubt that you were worthy and wanted. Yoongi wanted to kiss his love into you no matter how long he had to do it. If he was locked in a room with you for months, so be it.
But your hand had found its way between your bodies and was slowly coming down to his hips. Suddenly, he realized what he was doing and panicked. He hadn’t gotten your consent. He hadn’t asked you if it was okay for him to kiss you or to hook his fingers on your thong. As stupid as it sounded, even to Yoongi himself, he needed to make sure that you wanted this to happen, even as your hand had found the outline of his cock and you had started to trace the outline of it over the fabric-
“Tell me to stop,” he gasped, ripping himself away from you. The hand around your waist was now on your shoulder to keep you at enough distance so that his brain could function and wasn’t clouded by the horniness he was feeling.
“Wha…?” You slurred, your eyes were glazed over and your body was completely relaxed.
“Tell me to stop,” he repeated, fighting his every instinct to push your mouth open and have you suck on his thumb before he pushed you onto your knees to suck him off, “and I will.”
His eyelids were heavy and he was sweating slightly. He was so hard that it hurt and the circles you were drawing on his penis were not helping at keeping him at bay. He knew if he looked down, there would be a stain of precum on his sweats.
“I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered, leaning in and kissing his jaw before you nibbled and kissed down his taught neck.
“Fuck.”
“I want you to fuck me.” You licked a thick swipe up his jugular, “I want you.”
“Then admit it,” Yoongi heard himself say. He was just as surprised as you were to hear those words from his lips, “admit that you like me.”
You pulled away then, dropping both your arms in exasperation, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in my underwear, stroking your cock and you want me to stroke your ego too? Un-fucking-believeable. You’re a dumb ass.”
You rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead.
“Aya, apa~” he groaned, rubbing his head, the dynamic that you were used to suddenly restored.
“Yeah? Great! I’m glad that it hurt! I hope it hurts really bad you jerk. Then maybe you’ll understand what it was like for me to listen to you go on and on about all the girls you went out with every fucking week. In fact-”
“Aya! What the fuck? Stop flicking me,” he nearly screamed, clutching the tip of his nose.
“Make me.”
Big mistake. Yoongi didn’t take your dare lightly. His eyes darkened then he leaned down and picked you up. You squeaked, wrapping your legs around his waist as he walked you to his room. His hands cupped your butt fairly comfortably, like this was something you did often. He kicked the door open and threw you on the bed.
“You think I wasn’t hurt as well?” He asked, clasping a hand around your neck and lightly pressing his fingers against your skin.
“You think I like knowing that everywhere we go, men are watching you, coveting you the way I do? You think it isn’t torture when you go out and I don’t hear from you until the next day?”
He pushed you up against his pillow. The duvet was already all messed up under your body. He was between your legs, pressing himself into your core. Fuck, you wanted him. You wanted him all the way inside you. He wanted nothing more than to do the same but he had to make sure you knew first.
“You think it was easy being in love with you when you wanted nothing from me but friendship?”
Your eyes softened. Yoongi was in love with you too? When?
“Since we were kids,” he answered. Again you had spoken without meaning to. “I always knew it was you, Y/N. It was only ever you.”
But something wasn’t adding up. You fought your rising feelings of elation. You wanted to understand what he was saying. If he had liked you since you were kids then why had he never asked you out? Why become the serial dater he’d become? But he’d never had a girlfriend, you reminded yourself. He’d only ever “dated” and then dropped these women. You always assumed he was screwing them all.
Yoongi became sheepish then. “I uh… I did have sex with some of them but-” and the hurt in your eyes would be enough to kill him,” it was only at the start. I thought that if i had sex with other people I’d stop chasing after you. But it didn’t work… I haven’t slept with anyone since junior year of college.”
Your eyes widened. “College?”
He nodded, his pale cheeks blushing prettily.
“They just...were never you… and then I thought if I pushed you away that would help but that only made us estranged and-”
You pushed yourself up and shut him up with a kiss. He was over thinking and you could talk about all that later.
“You’re an idiot,” you started and he rolled his eyes, “but if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to do it myself.”
Yoongi’s eyes rolled into his head and he thrust lightly into your wet center.
“Talk after?”
“As long as you want,” you agreed, already pushing at his sweats. Yoongi sat up and pulled his hoodie and shirt off in one fell swoop, then, at the speed of lightning, pulled off his sweats, leaving him in his boxers.
After a moment of hesitation, he pulled his boxers off as well and then he was naked before you. Your mouth went dry. He was big. You could tell just by looking at him that he would stretch you good and you wanted so badly for him to pin you down and have his way with you.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Really? Cause that would be really helpful on days when I’m home alone-”
“Wha-no!”
You chuckled and lay down on your back, making sure that your legs were spread wide for him to have his fill. Like a moth to a flame, he was between your thighs, his tongue licking at the wet fabric.
He moaned against your covered lips, sucking up the arousal that clung to your underwear.
“Fuck, Yoongi yes,” you said without meaning to say much at all. You unclasped your bra and threw it somewhere in the room. You could look for it later. This caught his attention. He thrust his naked dick into the mattress, needing some sort of stimulation.
“Damn it… fuck, if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside you, I swear I could get you off with just my mouth all day, Y/N.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved off, gesturing for him to come up to your face, he did so without question, “Hurry up, I’m dying. Please.”
“Are you begging?” Yoongi’s lips curled lightly, teasingly,
“Do you want to get your dick wet or not?” He kissed the wrinkle between your eyebrows lightly.
“Yeah, can I take these off?” he hooked a finger on the elastic of your thong, pulling it a little higher than he probably should have. It was an old pair. You heard rather than saw the stitching on it pull apart and then the thing was hanging limply from Yoongi’s fingers, his expression shocked.
“Yoongi!”
“What? I didn’t do it on purpose!”
“For fuck’s sake! That was my favorite thong!”
“Well, clearly it was cheap,” he countered, throwing it across the room somewhere too.
You groaned, shifting slightly under him. His dick nuzzled between your wet lips. His mouth dropped open and a pleasured grunt escaped his lips.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he rut against your wetness, hitting your clit lightly, far too lightly, “you are so wet. God, this should be illegal.”
“Y-Yoongi… more,” he reached down between you two and found your sensitive nub without much hassle. It was like he knew your body already. Your body twitched under him and he circled the bundle of nerves for a couple of seconds. The noises falling from your lips were heaven on earth and Yoongi realized you were his new favorite song.
He gave your clit one rough stroke, ripping a small gasp from your throat. He gathered some of your slick with two practiced fingers and brought it up to eye level. It caught the low light of his room from the window, the smell enough to threaten to send him over the edge.
“Jesus Christ that’s hot.” Then he smeared it all over his penis and gave himself two rough pumps.
“Can I-”
“Yes.”
“You don’t even know what I’m asking-”
“Don’t care. Just do it. Yes.” You said angrily, pulling him closer and closer, his toned chest flush against yours.
“Have you been working out?” You asked, breaking the intense way he was staring into your eyes, his smile pulled wide over his gums.
He shrugged but clearly was glad that you’d noticed, “Namjoon and Jungkook convinced me to join them in the gym. It’s no big deal.”
“But your arms,” you complimented, squeezing his bicep. He flexed it lightly for you. You blushed when you realized exactly what you were doing.
“It’s just a little muscle,” he commented offhandedly.
The conversation lulled, he smiled down at you, and you up at him. He kissed the tip of your nose.
“So can I put it i-”
“I already said yes.”
“In your ass?”
“Ew no!”
Yoongi laughed loudly, “see this is why you can’t say yes to something without knowing what you’re agreeing to.”
“Shut up and put it in the right hole,” you groaned, then for good measure, “oppa.” It was a joke. You thought it was a joke, but something lit up in his pupils as two measly syllables rolled off your tongue and hit his eardrums. You felt his skin prickle under your touch and his member twitched against your folds.
Like a deer caught in headlights, you looked up at the handsome man. His eyes had narrowed as well as darkened. He looked absolutely ravenous and you wanted him to eat you up.
“Say that again.” He commanded as he pushed the head of his massive, and now that you could properly feel it, you knew that you had been right, cock at the entrance of your lower lips.
“O-oppa?” you questioned, astounded that the simple word that he’d no doubt heard his whole life had this effect on him.
“That’s right yeo-chin,” he growled, his voice gruff and harsh as he pushed lightly into you. His dick opened you painfully, perfectly.
“Yeo-chin?” You ask through the explosion of pleasure between your thighs.
“Is that okay?” He asked, suddenly looking really vulnerable and scared. You reached up, stroking his cheek lightly with your knuckles.
“Oh honey,” you trailed off, bumping his nose against yours before you pulled back abruptly, “If you want me to be your girlfriend, you have to ask me properly.”
Yoongi sighed, his smile telling you he expected as much and wasn’t hurt, “Talk after?” He asked again.
“As much as you want,” you reiterated.
And then he was pushing into you once again, surprising you because you could have sworn you had been full before but inch after inch, he pushed into your awaiting hole, filling all the emptiness you’d felt your whole life until his balls tapped your ass softly.
His face was contorted in pure ecstasy. At least from your perspective. Yoongi, in all truth, was trying his hardest not to blow his load into you already. He couldn’t believe his luck. He was inside you. He’d waited his whole life for this and he was finally inside you.
You wiped a bead of sweat from his temple and playfully licked his lips. He grunted against you, holding himself up by the forearms. Suddenly, he was really grateful that he had started to work out and that Jungkook had him doing three minute planks for fun. He’d have to thank him later, even if he did complain a whole lot.
“Can-can I move?” Yoongi gasped. Your walls fluttered around his member as if welcoming it home with soft caresses. You were so warm, maybe hot, he wasn’t sure, but you were tight and wet and all the good things in the world.
You only breathed, feeling so unbelievably full. It felt like he had pushed in all the way to your throat. You were no size queen, really, you weren’t, but if this is what they were going on about, you understood.
“Y/N,” he panted, his body begging him to move, “please.”
“Are-are you begging?” You giggled mirroring what he’d asked you before.
“Yes.” Without hesitation, he admitted, “Please… please…”
Well fuck. How could you say no? You nodded fervently, all mirth erased from your expression as he pulled out slowly, your juices squelched as your lower muscles tried to keep him in.
“Gah- ash-Y/N… you’re so tight.”
You only moaned in response, the head of his cock was still in you, stretching you to the point you didn’t think anyone could fully make you feel this way again.
“You’re so big,” you complimented scratching at his back. His muscles rippled under your touch.
He pushed back in, still torturously slow. It felt like you were being split in half. You felt like Olaf in the first frozen movie after he got stabbed by an icicle.
“Yoongi,” you gasped as he pulled out again at the same speed, his face screwed up in concentration.
“Oppa,” he growled into your ear, kissing roughly at your skin.
“Oppa,” you agreed, though it wasn’t your favorite word, he seemed to be getting of fairly
well so you let it slide, “move faster.”
“You sure?” He asked.
You nodded, knowing it was probably going to hurt but you wanted to feel him and you wanted him to cum.
“Yes.”
He didn’t need to be told again; he drew back, once again leaving only the mushroom tip inside you once again, and then he thrust. Hard. You nearly choked as he pumped himself over and over again hitting the nerves in your vagina. The slap of skin against yours was loud in the empty room, only accompanied by your moans and his pants and grunts. Your names mixed in every once in a while, your lips kissing any and all the skin that you could possibly reach. He licked at your lips and sucked bruises onto your neck, your chest. He wanted to mark all of you. He wanted to make sure you knew who you belonged to… as soon as he asked you right after he finished up.
This idea itself spurred him on, to thrust faster, deeper. He wanted to finish and make sure that you finished too, not quickly but soon. He wanted to talk. He wanted to make sure that you were in the same place.
So he reached between you both again, his fingers blindly found your clitoris and began to rub abstract shapes into it. Your back arched off the bed, your hair and boobs bounced with each thrust, his balls slapping against your ass. You were seeing white, your mouth wide open in a silent ‘o’. You were so close. So so close.
“Come, Yeo-chin,” he whispered against your temple, and though you weren’t technically his, the title sent you over the edge along with his fingers and the deep thrusts that hit your cervix.
“Oppa,” you groaned, your face screwed up.
That did it for Yoongi. His fingers on your clit stuttered along with his hips. His thrusts became erratic and he hit the sides of your walls. You squeezed around him as he over stimulated you through your orgasm.
“One more time… say it one more time,” he begged.
You complied, whispering it into his ear, it was cut slightly by a particularly pleasurable thrust. Yoongi felt pure euphoria fill his blood as his hips paused, then buried deep into your hole. Ropes of hot cum shot into you, filling you.
Yoongi panted heavily over you, his head resting on your shoulder as he struggled to keep himself up. You were breathing heavily as well, your nipples brushed against his chest. You were sensitive. You hissed.
“You can lay down,” the words had barely left your lips before he had let his weight settle on top of you. A smile crossed your face as his hands tangled in your hair and stroked it lightly. You wrapped him up in a hug, wanting him to stay like this for a while. It was nice to feel him so close.
After a couple of minutes of both of you just recovering and your breathing getting much harder, like a wrestler, you tapped Yoongi twice.
“I’m out,” you joked, “can’t breathe.”
With what looked like a lot of effort, he pushed himself up and off you, pulling out of your suddenly. The cum inside of your vagina gushed out.
You made a face as you felt it drip onto his sheets. Yoongi watched it ooze out of you, not really caring where it was going. He looked mesmerized. He reached out as if to swipe at the cum on your lower lips but you grabbed his wrist before he could.
“We talk now,” you sighed, a bit calmer than before but still a bit worried.
“Now?” He looked so vulnerable again, like he was a scared child. He lay on his side, resting his head on his elbow. He looked down at you, waiting for you to take the reins, the way you always did but this time, you didn’t know where to begin.
Yoongi cleared his throat looking around uncomfortably. When you said nothing, his mind had started to race.
“So… do you… want to be my girlfriend, or are we friends with benefits level right now? Ow!”
You’d smacked his shoulder, not hard at all but he was dramatic and you knew that. He frowned at you, his lips tempting you into another kiss that could lead to something more once again. You were already feeling a little turned on again just looking at the results of his recent gym trips.
“So no to yeo-chin then?”
“Yoongi!”
“Don’t you mean Oppa?”
You smiled up at him, a teasing glint in your gaze, “I didn’t know you had an oppa kink. This whole time, I was right to refuse to call you oppa. I knew you looked way too happy whenever I called you that!”
Yoongi scrunched his nose and looked away, “I don’t! It’s just… when you say it.” He admitted waving a hand as if to bat away your inquisitive and teasing stare.
Not really knowing how to answer that, you chose instead to answer his previous question.
“Nam-chin,” you ran a finger down the center of his pecks, tracing all the light visible muscles that made you want to get off on just riding his chest. Yoongi tensed under your touch. He seemed frozen.
“Did you just call me nam-chin?” You, for once, were not embarrassed. You smiled brightly, happy that the title finally had a head to sit on.
“Is that okay?”
Yoongi pulled you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you, his heart beat erratically in his chest, singing to yours. To its credit, your heart synced and harmonized almost instantly. He smelled like pure sex and fresh water. He buried your face into his bare skin, listening to his song. After all these years, after all the tiptoeing and fear, you were finally where you belonged.
“Of course it is,” he paused, kissing the top of your head a couple of times, “yeo-chin.” This time, the word made a shiver roll down your spine. Arousal began to pool between your sticky thighs once more and if the third leg on your stomach was anything to go by, he was as well.
“Can- can we take a shower?” you asked him, biting your lips and pushing your chest against his suggestively.
He smirked, his mouth watered at the thought of taking you in the shower. He could almost hear your moans echoing in his wet room as he sat you down and ate you out until the water ran cold. Easy clean up even.
“Yes.” he breathed, connecting his lips to yours. You kissed for a while, your lips meshing together lovingly. Yoongi was a good kisser, you realized. He was a good lay as well. And he was cute to boot. Suddenly, he pulled away and picked you up bridal style and walked you to his restroom. He once again kicked the door open to avoid using his hands and walked you through, but this time instead of throwing you down, he set you on the toilet, him on his knees between your pushed open legs.
“I hope you don’t have any plans,” he said, kissing up your thighs and pulling you close to the edge, “because I have all the time in the world and I’m really, really thirsty.”
He ran two fingers over your abused center, collecting his cum and your new arousal. Sure, there were still a lot of things to talk about between you two. Yoongi still wasn’t sure if you fully understood the depth of his feelings nor was he sure if you simply liked him and the slip of the L-word was nothing more than that. A slip. But like he’d said, he had all the time in the world to ask and all the time to make sure he earned you and your trust. He would do anything he could to prove it and some day he would be.
But for now, he was royally fucked by the sinful sounds that escaped your pretty lips and he wanted nothing more than to just enjoy.
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Masterlist -in case you want to read more....
I hope yall enjoyed it and that this is a good come back after our roast session from permission to dance:)
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callistolivia · 4 years
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The Moon; Showing Love/Needing Love
 The Moon is a vital component to our personalities. It can show us how we go about showing love for others (and ourselves) and in what aspects we need love. Within the birth chart, positive interchanges between the Moon and personal planets can demonstrate a healthy and developed Moon sign; this is especially true with positive interchanges to Venus. These individuals hold special value in showing love and comfort for others and themselves. We can see a similar outcome in synastry charts when one individual’s Moon has positive interchanges with the other person’s Sun, Moon, or Venus. A positive interchange between one person’s Sun and another person’s Moon demonstrates the most natural compatibility two people could have. These relationships often have the most ease because one individual’s core or character (Sun) aids and uplifts the other’s needs (Moon). Similarly, compatibility between two Moons represents ease in a relationship as two people share like-minded needs; Positive Moon and Venus interchanges in synastry demonstrate ease in understanding and fulfilling another person’s needs.
Aries Moon
How they show love: An Aries’ innate curiosity is their not-so-subtle way of demonstrating love. Aries will go out of their way to spend time with the people they love and actively display interest in them. They can be very passionate and excitable around those they love, like every friend or loved one is another log in their firepit. Aries can also frustratingly push for activity with their loved ones, such as new experiences. They are very impatient and forceful towards the people they care about, but it is simply because they’d love to see them on the same level of hype as they are. Aries’ also demonstrate their love by confidence boosting or role modeling their energy.
What they need: Aries really need patience from others to feel loved and understood; they know they can be frustrating, but they will appreciate those who bare with them. They also really need someone to match their energy or someone to validate their energy; someone to riot with, or someone who is willing to understand their riot. Calming an Aries storm is a plus in their world too.
Taurus Moon
How they show love: A Taurus’ love language tend to fall in line with physical touch and specific acts of service. While physical touch is more obvious (hugs, kisses, cuddles, etc.), acts of service tends to play out in a very background kind of way. Taurus Moon individual’s can quietly carry an entire family’s burden on their backs and be a sanctuary of security and comfort. All who they love the dearest is their babies in their mind. They go out of their way to nurture the emotional well-being of others. In their network of love, they work the hardest and serve their own plate last.
What they need: Physical touch and outlets to relax. The fixed signs, such as Taurus, are guilty of holding onto emotional tension which then turns into physical tension. They need to be shown that they too can be cradled into someone’s arms and melt away. Taurus love massages, dedicated time to rest, and having some of the workload taken off of them. Good food doesn’t hurt also!
Gemini Moon
How they show love: Geminis are the spending quality time type. They can ease away tensions and anxieties with their ability to distract. Gemini Moons have an abundant presence, so while they can lead conversations, they can also direct comfortable silences too. They are great at reading the room and they are perceptive of the technicalities of others needs. With their cooled approach, they will rationalize and come up with creative ways to aid these needs. Their mental toolbox is chalked-full of ideas; “maybe you need to look at it from this perspective,” “I have just the movie for this,” “let’s go for a walk and talk it out!”
What they need: Their chilled exterior can often hide lots of inner anxieties. They really need someone to listen to their tangents. They also really need someone to tell them not to over rationalize their feelings, “you’re just feeling like this, there doesn’t need to be a because, and that’s okay.” They need people to spend their abundant, emotional energies with; vent about it, joke about it, etc.
Cancer Moon
How they show love: Cancers are very protective of their emotional world, so opening that world up to someone is their way of demonstrating love. Emotional vulnerability portrays their deepest act of sincerity. A Cancer’s innate mothering qualities is another way they demonstrate love. They want to create security for their loved ones as well as encourage personal growth. They reassure loved ones directly that their love is unconditional and uncircumstantial. Cancers are very sentimental about physical togetherness, so quality face-to-face time is an important aspect to how they show love.
What they need: Cancers need that natural nurturing quality returned. As much as they want to create security and comfort for their loved ones, they too need others to shield for them. Cancers need to be shown that they are safe; one can do this by dedicating time spent with a Cancer, perhaps inviting them over to your home or spending time at home in a familiar environment. 
Leo Moon
How they show love: Leos are known for praise and thoughtfulness. Leos like showing love through acknowledging others accomplishments that have been forgotten or overlooked. Leos are great at figuring out what is important to others and demonstrating praise, approval, and confidence building language. Leos can also be very thoughtful; they aren’t the “gift-giving” type, though when they find things that remind them of their dearest companions and loved ones, they will go out of their way to give gifts with special meaning. Similar to how a cat chooses whose lap to curl up in, Leos also show love by making one feel “chosen.”
What they need: Leos need verbal and physical praise. Leos find themselves in situations of self-doubt when without reminders of affirmation. Compliments, advice, pats on the back, and encouragement are a few ways to demonstrate affirmation. When in doubt though, a long hug goes a long way with Leos. 
Virgo Moon
How they show love: Virgos choose their words carefully and eloquently and this is how we can acknowledge their way of showing love. Though they are not one of the outright expressive Moon signs such as Cancer, they’ll know exactly what to say or write to make someone feel loved. Though cliché for a Virgo, acts of service is also their way of demonstrating care. They don’t mind doing the small things just to make someone’s life a little easier. Virgos also love leaving things better than when they first found them; physical improvements equate to mental improvements. Virgos also have a tendency of checking in with their loved ones; “have you eaten the right food today?,” “a shower might make you feel better,” “did you get enough fresh air today?,” etc.
What they need: Virgos need acknowledgement that they are doing enough. There is a major tendency towards inadequacy and guilt when they feel like they aren’t doing the right things or enough things. Virgos need reminders of what they’ve accomplished and improvements they’ve made thus far. Remedy their nerves with tea and quality time; nothing can make a Virgo feel more loved than showing them life can be simple.
Libra Moon
How they show love: Libras really set aside their own emotional needs for others; they would much rather please others than have to deal with their emotional world. They graciously give and bend their energy to their loved ones to promote harmony and contentment in their lives; “how can I make them feel comfortable?,” “how can I make them feel wanted?,” how can I make them feel luxurious?” They can be zealous in their efforts to beautify the world around their loved ones. Libras are absolutely the gift-giving type and they don’t need an occasion for it either. They enjoy surprising their loved ones and spoiling them when they can. 
What they need: Libras need to see gratitude for their efforts. Libra Moons live in an emotional world best described as “I don’t know,” so words of affirmation from their loved ones is very important. They also genuinely like hearing what you want from them as they are eager to please. Give Libras decisiveness and they will feel loved. 
Scorpio Moon
How they show love: A Scorpio demonstrates love with extreme obviousness and intensity. Their love is the smothering kind. Since Scorpios like control over their emotional world, the love they give, and the love they recieve, they use many modes of love languages. Physical and emotional intensity are the most obvious. They have an aggressive neediness for their loved ones; if they need you, they won’t beat around the bush about it, they will go and get you. Scorpios demonstrate the peak of their love when they reveal secrets and create or bond over a secret with another. 
What they need: Scorpios really need vulnerability from others. A lot of that “control-freak” persona Scorpio holds is from fear. By actively creating an environment of trust for them, they will feel loved and like they have a special bond. Scorpios really need emotional intimacy. Scorpios can also feel loved by others who give them a sense of purpose. 
Sagittarius Moon
How they show love: Sagittarius’ best demonstrate love through offering experiences. New experiences, trips, and special outings are a few ways Sagis’ try to ignite the light in another’s eyes. They acknowledge the special bonds formed through experiences or shared learnings. Sagittarius’ will go out of there way to place that booking, whether it be a concert, a campsite, hotel, or a niche workshop. Don’t feel like leaving the house? Sagis’ can get pretty creative around the house too; crafting, new recipes to try, documentaries to stream, new hobbies to take up. Honestly, don’t even be surprised if your Sagittarius brings home a tattoo gun one day. Sagittarius’ love through excitement.
What they need: Sagittarius’ really need mutual excitement and enthusiasm. They find comfort in those who truly listen to their philosophies and laugh at their jokes. Sagittarius’ really need to feel like they are a part of something, so family-like networks are also very important to their well-being despite being considered one of the more “flighty” or independent signs. An ear from many can make a Sagi’ feel truly loved.
Capricorn Moon
How they show love: Capricorns are not always direct in expressing love, but you can really tell one loves you when you are including in their life plans and goals. Capricorns have an innate need to control, so they often express love through being a providing or protective figure in their loved one’s lives. They provide a backbone or structure to their loved ones that would be extremely noticeable if they weren’t around. Capricorns also tend to provide guidance and mentorship to demonstrate care. Capricorns can be quite stingy as well, so if one spends their money on you, it says a lot!
What they need: They need people who can show them the more direct and vulnerable forms of love. They really need intense physical and emotional care; those who can introduce them to these realms of love. Saturn energy can make a person very structured and rigid so they need a good dose of warmth in their life to feel loved.
Aquarius Moon
How they show love: Without trines or sextiles, Aquarius’ showing love can be very subtle, hence why this placement is infamously known for being “unemotional.” However, Aquarius’ are fantastic lovers; they often demonstrate love through validation. Aquarius’ have a keen idea of what it’s like to be misunderstood so they’re the ones who are best at making others feel like they’re not a black sheep. They have a “being weird is okay” mentality when the focus isn’t on themselves, so if an Aquarius validates your off-beatness, it most definitely means they love you.
What they need: Aquarius’ really need validation in return for the validation they’re known for giving. Relatability is one way of demonstrating validity. Similar to Taurus and the other Fixed signs, their emotional tension leads to physical crystallization. Creating outlets to release their emotional tension as well as physical touch to aid the built-up tension are two of Aquarius’ biggest needs.
Pisces Moon
How they show love: Pisces have a large capacity to love and they demonstrate this through empathy and their fully immersed listening. They want to help their loved ones through giving advice, relating, or just lending their ear. Pisces are sensitive and openly vulnerable about how they are feelings and this is in hopes that others will relate and connect to them through this. Pisces are always the ones to step into the uncharted territories of the emotional world, leading others behind them; comforting, helping, teaching. 
What they need: Pisces really need guidance and clarity. They feel loved when someone is guiding them and giving them definitive truth to how they are feeling. Pisces can often get mixed up about their own feelings, so the ones who really look out for them, Pisces will remember and cherish. Those who show a willingness to connect also make Pisces feel loved; Pisces would absolutely be enthralled by a nap buddy or meditation partner.
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