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incorrectcreepypastafam · 3 months

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Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

107 notes · View notes

clockwayswrites · 1 year

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I’m Clock!

I’ve made this tumblr to have a place to post og work, fics, ideas, and snippets! I’m a chronic multishipper and will always do my best to tag ships and fandoms.

I’m currently writing for:

OG Novel: They Too Have Teeth (t2ht)

OG Novel: Bury Me Shallow

DP x DC

I have/may also write for Marvel, Star Trek, and FFXV.

My Ao3 is PaperPuffin! You can find my finished work there!

Active wip fics:

City Pigeons Bleed Green (masterpost) (dp x dc, batpham)

Series: One Stop Soup Shop (masterpost)(dp x dc, dead on main) [ao3 link]

Masked (masterpost) (dp x dc, death defying) [ao3 link]

Finished ficlets/One shots not on ao3 (yet):

Seeking Sleep (dp x dc, dead on main)

A Thousand Tiny Touches (dp x dc, dead on main)

Various Ficlet Fills (dp x dc, multiple ships)

See @clockwaysadmin for a full list of backburner wips. Due to the new post editor and having been shadow banned, I'm no longer tagging people but you can subscribe there. Most active bbs are:

The fic that I'm not writing (masterpost)(dp x dc, dead on main)

Not Exactly Cinderella (dp x dc, Danny/Dick/Wally)

Both Ways at Once (masterpost)(dp x dc, dead on main street)

Another Red (masterpost)(dp x dc, batpham)

And you can find my art on @clockwaysarts or my catch all main is @clockways.

No obligation at all, but if you enjoy my work, I am self-employed during the summer and I do have a ko-fi and a throne wishlist!

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chosos-mascara · 1 year

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why do you block blank blogs?

let's talk about blank blogs.

blank blogs are tumblr accounts that do not have any content, such as reblogs, posts, and often will have no description and no photo.

both of these blogs would be classed as blank.

having a description may stop some people blocking you (such as she/her, 21, and hobbies), though if you do not have any posts, you are still a blank blog. obviously i can't really provide evidence of this without sharing peoples profile photos, etc. which i will not do.

so, why is this an issue?

well, for starters, many creators will simply block you. as creators, we often risk things like being shadow banned, algorithms suppressing our work and even account removal. this is absolutely devastating to those who have worked for hours, and even DAYS on something to have interactions completely killed by the site.

we have no way of knowing a blank blog is not a bot, or even someone on an alt account that could be sending hate, or stealing work (plagiarizing) for their other account.

also, as a blank blog, you are not supporting those you're following. you want to see more fanfiction? more art? many amazing creators have stopped sharing their work purely due to the lack of interactions.

reblogs are the best way to support us. and if we see you not only are not reblogging things we have dedicated weeks of our lives to share with you, but you refuse to share ANYONE'S work, why should we allow you a space in our communities?

if you would like to read fics and follow creators without reblogging, please at least post some other form of content to your profile. this could be something as simple as making a post like 'hey! i'm new to tumblr and im not entirely sure how this all works' or reblogging some photos of something you love.

if you don't want to be viewed as blank, PLEASE just add a description, add a title, a photo and make one post. that's it! it's reallllyyy simple in the grand scheme of things, and will prevent most people from blocking you. of course, without reblogging/commenting, you do run the risk of other creators blocking you (some will block spam likes due to lack of support).

if you ever have questions regarding blank blogs, feel free to ask!

remember, reblogs and comments are the way to support us!

#blank blogs #zeeanswers #zeesthoughts #creators #fanfiction #jjk x reader #mha x reader #csm x reader #anime x reader #aot x reader #anon asks

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romiantic · 10 months

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imma speak my piece then imma dip for the night!

when your favorite writers beg you readers to reblog, we are asking for you guys to share our work. this app isn’t instagram where our work is popularized by likes !! literally likes does nothing but let us that people enjoyed it. don’t get me wrong, us writers very grateful for any kind of interaction that we get, but please please please I’m literally tryna push this into y’all head, REBLOG

reblogging will help your fav writers from leaving. reblogging helps our work be spread throughout tumblr, more engagement and more interactions. less interactions decreases our motivation and makes the app very boring. with little to no engagement, what’s the point of writing ?? and then y’all come in other folks inbox complaining about how y’all fav author left, geez I wonder why !

all it takes is two seconds to like and another 2 seconds to reblog, THATS IT !! you don’t have to comment, you don’t have add tags, just REBLOG. if y’all want more content, PROVE TO US THAT YOU WANT MORE CONTENT. we as writers can’t keep going off of likes, what are likes gonna do ?? likes takes us nowhere but having the possibility of being shadow banned.

it’s already bad enough that tumblr likes giving people power over OUR work, the least y’all can do is interact and share, that’s it. silent reading won’t get us nowhere and soon enough, it will have us stop caring to write

if y’all want y’all fav writers to stop quitting/leaving (especially the black community), start reblogging and stop putting labels on innocent people !!

#I have more but imma save the rest for later #idc this is highkey pissing me off #you silent readers bout to end up on my dni #idc bro #♡.mia hour <3

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oxygenbefore1775 · 10 months

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tldr: supposedly unauthorized translation and publication of some aot works from tumblr onto another platform

(sorta continuation of this post)

a certain user on ficbook.net (a russian analog of ao3/wattpad) has been translating the works from tumblr and posting them on their profile. the thing is, they do credit the tumblr writers as authors of the original text and leave the links to the tumblr posts but there's almost no doubt in my mind that they're doing this without the permission of the original creators. because one of my works was also translated and posted like this, all without reaching out to me beforehand. and because some of the creators they've translated from have explicitly stated that they do not allow the reposting of their works in any way, shape or form

because you have the right to know as the creators, below i'm including a list of the blogs whose works have been translated supposedly without the creator's permission (i'll also try to include the name of the works that have been translated in the brackets)

(i've no idea what username they have on tumblr - but - if you're on this list but have given your permission to translate your work (or these works specifically) to someone in the past and/or are generally cool with the situation then feel free to ignore)

@quills-of-freedom (hysteria; wedding day; most embarassing thing theyve done while drunk; aot snowball fight hcs; aot headcanons; )

@syrma-sensei (wings in the shadow)

@impulsivecompliment (happiness)

@bibblelevi (pretty)

@certifiedjaeger (all bets are off)

@ms-spicy-kirstein (happy birthday jean)

@riniackerman (under his table; i want to feel you; seeing you working out, s/o with acnes; s/o trying to get their attention; s/o with self harm scars; when you're on your period; when they walk on you changing; s/o sitting on their laps; s/o wearing short skirt; s/o calling them daddy for the first time; s/o in a horny mood; their s/o wanting to make out; s/o finding they out they got hard in public)

@ringsofsaturnnnn (sour honey)

@shankslut (what a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you)

@2dsheep (levi hates drinking)

@shiganshiina (a letter to erwin)

@lady-lauren (private affairs)

@arl3rt0 (kinktober day 5)

@im-a-killer-queen (my good boy)

@snktrashcan (better after all)

@fayesrossua (tired virgins)

@bananami (leave your boyfriend)

@sorecupid (vibrations)

@levis-dilutedbleach (i needed you)

@eremiie (you walking into the shower fully clothed)

@kumori-suwan (how they react after a two week sex ban)

@falling-pages (sick aot boys headcanons)

@almondkatsuki (which piercings the aot characters would get with you)

@marshmallow-rainbow139 (the first thing they say to their newborn; stop walking and wait for them to notice)

@rulerofstars (a heart like this)

@cower-before-power (when they realize you're "the one")

@rubywithacat (aot boys when you felt insecure about your body; what aot characters would say when they caught you looking at them; )

@fandomvariousness (horny triggers)

@pleasured-ambrosia (aot boys + streaming)

@espritmuse (does my shirt smell weird?; their biggest kink)

@shikiii-skadi (you reject them)

@sukunababy (how they make you squirt; riding them; dick analysis; calling them daddy; )

@corrupt-fvcker (their unexpected turn-ons; how they show their love;)

@sukunasfourtheye (phrases the aot boys would say during sex that would make my head spin)

@yagamiluvr (virgin! aot boys)

@yikimiki (aot men x sexual positions)

@cafedanslanuit (telling them you're in the mood; calling them a "friend" in front of other people; putting your hand in front of them; texting them "i want a baby"; reacting to the phub sound; calling them by the wrong name)

@anlian-aishang (sex outside the bedroom; phone sex & sexting dialogues; clothes and sex; kinks; only one bed)

@mazuwii (where aot characters kiss you the most; you slap their bum; you refuse to hug the aot characters; getting caught on kisscam; doing skincare with them; you say "i love you" out of nowhere; reacting to: "would you like a bath, dinner or me?"; what i think of you based on your fave; how many kids would they have; characters annoying you for a day)

@bluebellhairpin (harder, deeper, faster; drinks; names for them, and for you; what kind of father are you?; things levi ackerman has said while babysitting; aot character outfits)

@bemylord (what turns them on; what they are like in cuddles; where do they prefer to have sex; what attack on titan boys would prefer; things they won't do while doing the dirty)

@happybird16 (what they wanted to be when they grew up; what do aot characters beds look like)

@afrival (their nervous habits; aot characters when drinking; pets the aot characters would have; things that the aot characters would (probably) be arrested for; aot charcters and dumb shit they say)

@veenxys (moments that made aot characters fall in love a little more for their s/o; domestic moments with aot characters; moments that made aot characters fall in love a little more for their s/o)

@escapenightmare (aot and innocent, fleeting touches)

@venenatd (aot men + somnophilia)

@myarlert (what gets them going; a look in their pants; whay they're into; aot guys as nonsexual acts of intimacy)

@nkogneatho (random cute things they do with/to you)

@levi-ish (aot boys during a bj; aot boys headcanons; aot men love language)

@heejayy (wake up my boyfriend's here)

continuation of the list here since tumblr doesnt allow more that 50 mentions

i'm not sure if i should disclose their username on ficbook.net because, again, my accusations may be groundless and i might put an innocent user between two hard places with my action, so until the situation gets cleared up, im not willing to expose them

what can be done? if my suspicions are proven right and this person is indeed operating without the ops' permission, then reporting would be the most effective choice, considering that ficbook.net has a very strict policy regarding translations but you have to be a registered user there to file a report which i doubt many of you are or would be willing to do (not to mention navigating the site in the whole other language). i've already reported their profile and who knows, maybe this single report could achieve something

one thing i know for sure, is that this person hangs out on tumblr often and will for sure see this post, maybe it will give them some wake-up call about not asking the permission to translate and repost the intellectual property of other's - at least when it comes to my works cuz the case with the other users are unconfirmed as of yet

if i bothered you with this post by tagging you, im sorry, i just wanted to make some things right since you deserve to know as the creators

#hope i wasnt too intrusive by listing all the blogs and their works #the guts it must take not to contact the op in the first place when most of us have our dms and inboxes open #i would have given my permission its just the fact that this person went behind my back is whats hurting me the most

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umber-cinders · 1 month

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Hey fic writers, can I just-

This is my blog so Imma get on my soap box for one more thing about the whole "spam likers should be blocked" rhetoric.

People seem to have taken the idea from places like Instagram that spam liking gets you shadow banned because the algorithm thinks they're bots and—let me be clear when I say this:

THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS ON TUMBLR

Bots do not like your fanfic and fanart posts and tumblr does not ban you for getting multiple likes in a row!!!

Likes are literally part of the algorithm because tumblr has changed from the way it was back in the 2010s. Reblogs are absolutely one of the most helpful and valid ways to see posts on here—and people should definitely be encouraged to reblog and share with others, but reblogs are not the end-all-be-all of pushing content on here anymore.

The posts that the algorithm shows you takes into account the posts you yourself have liked and what those you follow/interact with have liked. You know these little feature here in preferences?

THEY ARE ALL BASED ON LIKES AND FAVORITE TAGS

Its why you see posts like this if you turn on the option.

Likes have become almost as equal in the algorithm as reblogs. Nowadays, a lot of people on tumblr's userbase only views the site via the mobile app instead of a laptop/desktop. It means that they're more likely to hit the like button on a post and scroll on so they can go back and find it later than they are likely to stopping every second to reblog each post.

That's just how things are now 🤷🏾‍♀️(and yeah that sucks lol)

If you don't believe me, the next time you see a post that has a lot of notes suggested to you in a search, tag or on the For You page—or anywhere on here, check the reblogs vs likes. Sometimes they're relatively equal

But I have noticed that a lot of the posts suggested to me also have way more likes than reblogs.

Again, I am NOT dissing people asking for reblogs because people really should be trying to reblog things from your favorite artists/writers/fandoms, but sometimes people will look at a post with a lot of notes and are more likely to reblog it. If you're looking for engagement then likes count towards that.

Social media has trained us to look at posts with a lot of traction (notes in this case), and make us more likely to share it. When you discourage and block people engaging with your posts via likes, you're just making the algorithm less likely to push your posts in the first place unless someone reblogs it.

And hey, if that's your jam, go on ahead, but even posts with ZERO notes that haven't been liked by people I follow get pushed to me if the algorithm thinks I'm going to enjoy it based on what I post and have liked before.

I could also get into the fact that with the way tumblr is set up, you could be blocking people that have to like posts and follow you from their main blog and reblog via a different side blog.

You could be blocking people that are too shy to openly engage with certain content right off the bat.

You could be blocking newcomers into your fandom.

You could be blocking people that see your content promoted to them in passing and might decide to come back and follow you later.

If you don't care about likes and only care about exposure via reblogs, then uh...ok. But my point is: please stop spreading the idea that likes mean nothing on tumblr 🙃

With all that being said:

PLEASE LIKE AND REBLOG YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS, WRITERS AND FANDOM CREATORS✨

#aight stepping done from the soap box now #ao3 #archive of our own #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfic #fanfics #fanfiction #tumblr writers #writers of tumblr #Bipoc writers #black reader #x black reader #black writblr #tumblr

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marinusart · 2 months

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Користування тамблером be like/Tumblr using be like:

Отже, що ми маємо: української мови як мови застосунку все ще нема (зате є російська, хто б сумнівався); людям помилково зносять акаунти і не відновлюють їх; художників, які викладають ЗАЦЕНЗУРЕНІ NSFW арти кидають в тіньовий бан, тоді як зграї повієботів штурмують особисті повідомлення і невинні теги; нове СЕО просто жахливе; проблемні особини усіх видів прекрасно тут почуваються... Тепер ще й штучний інтелект підключився. Без жодного по��ередження. При чому параметр, що запобігає використанню вмісту блогу для того ж тренування ШІ, був вимкнений з самого початку. Я про це взнала досить пізно. За цей час мене могли обібрати до нитки, і далеко не факт, що вони цього вже не зробили.

Хочеться просто взяти і знести акаунт до дідька матеревій, але я розумію, що це мені каже моя імпульсивність, та й не хочеться втрачати контакт з людьми, які важливі для мене. Тим паче що особливої погоди це не зробить. Але так чи інакше, я, скоріше за все, перестану постити на деякий час. Якщо зовсім не переїду кудись в інше місце (про що я замислювалася вже дуже давно, якщо бути чесною).

Коротше, поки що я лишаюся тут, буду відслідковувати ситуацію та шукати якісь рішення... Якщо тамблер остаточно не накриється.

So, what we have here: Ukrainian language is still not available as an application language (but there is russian, of course); people's accounts are mistakenly terminated and not restored; artists who post CENSORED NSFW art are thrown into shadow ban, while swarms of pornbots storm DMs and innocent tags; the new CEO is just awful; all types of bigots and other disgusting people are feeling just fine here... Now AI has also joined. With no warning, with that toggle turned off by default. And it was pretty late when I discovered it. I`m pretty sure my works were already stolen. They had plenty of time for it.

I want to simply delete the acc, but I understand it`s impulsive decision I can regret later, besides I dont want to loose people who are important to me. Its also kinda useless. But I`ll probavly stop posting here for a while. Probably Ill move to another site (I was considering this option long time ago tbh)

But I`m still staying here, watching and searching for solutions... If tumblr wont die completely.

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trashyswitch · 5 months

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'Gargalesis'

The Intruder has many questions for Archangel Gabriel...and he is not in the mood to be undermined. So Archangel Gabriel tells the Intruder of a strange weakness that is only ever used to make Intruders comply...but the spilling of this secret comes with dire consequences.

This fanfic will have implications of suicide and murder. It is only in the beginning, and it eventually gets thrown aside. So, please be mindful as you read. Next, this fanfiction includes a whole bunch of big words you may not know. Thesaurus was my best friend while making this fanfic, as I wanted to show the characters as much more 'abstract' and 'complicated'. So if you find this fanfic really hard to read, that's okay. It's somewhat supposed to be. Make sure you have your dictionary (and your biblical knowledge) out for this one. You'll need it.

This fanfic was suggested by two anonymous users on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy! This one was incredibly interesting to write. Worth the countless hours I spent on it.

The Intruder showed itself to Archangel Gabriel, showing no fear. Gabriel stared at the intruder with a skin-crawling smile. The unspeakable appeared to be unphased by the Doppelgänger’s appearance, which was abnormally stretched and bug-eyed.

Though the Intruder knew Gabriel was stronger than it, the Intruder held itself up with a sense of pride. “Hello, Gabriel.” He greeted.

“Intruder…” Gabriel said. “We meet again. Are you enjoying yourself, toying with the victim?” Gabriel asked him.

“It has been a treat…it is a shame my fun was cut short so soon.” Intruder muttered.

“Humans are blind to the suffering of others. It will take ages for the victim to be found.” Gabriel added.

The intruder looked around at the mass panic that filled the town of Mandela County. “The people are growing weary…The victims are scared of their own shadow…People are dying…Children are traumatized by the intruder on the television…The government has foolishly put a ban on televisions and devices…though we both know that will never stop us…” The intruder mentioned to Archangel Gabriel. “The police are chasing their own tails, unable to solve the mystery of the missing children and the endless suicides…It is a fascinating turn of events.” The intruder told Gabriel.

“I see…You have done well thus far, 6.” Archangel Gabriel told it.

“Must we do anything more with Cesar?” The intruder asked.

“No…We must wait until Adam arrives at the stranger's home with Jonah.” Gabriel told him. “We have tricked Adam and Jonah into going to the woman’s house for a few nights. That will give us plenty of time for you to make yourself known to Adam.” Gabriel told him.

The intruder thought for a moment. “You desire to end all of humanity…and yet, you delay our process too often…Must you make us ceaselessly wait for the perfect moment?” The intruder asked.

“Yes…Patience is the key to true destruction. With patience comes unpredictability…and with unpredictability comes our success.” Gabriel told him. “Why must you ask? Are you unable to hold on much longer?” Gabriel asked.

“The alternates are tiresome and disquieted by your games.” The intruder told them.

“What about you? Are you perturbed as well?” Gabriel asked.

“Indeed.” The intruder replied. “I fail to see how much destruction we are truly doing to humanity. All these centuries of patience, and only now do we see significant progress.” The intruder explained.

“Do you lack trust in Satan himself?” Archangel Gabriel asked.

The intruder looked at Gabriel with shock. “Never, my prince of darkness…I would never lose trust in my devoted leader.” The intruder replied.

“Then you will prove yourself and do as I please. Or else…there will be considerable punishment.” Archangel Gabriel told it.

The intruder nodded its head and looked down, refusing to argue with its leader any further. Archangel Gabriel has argued his point, and will refuse any more words on the subject. The Intruder called up its fellow doppelgängers and watched as Gabriel ordered them to visit more children and terrify more people.

When the rest of the Doppelgängers were gone, the intruder flew to Archangel Gabriel in search of another question. “How do you simply recognize the perfect time to continue with your plans?” The intruder asked it.

“You wish to know my secrets…” Gabriel smiled evilly. “Very well.” Gabriel looked towards the world. “There is no physical feeling for such understanding. What is required is to know the correct time. It is too complicated for you to understand.” Gabriel explained. “I know who I am working alongside. I know my enemy like I know my right hand.” Gabriel explained. “At the same time, I also know exactly who you are.” Gabriel turned to look at the intruder. “You are a follower…a lowly doppelgänger meant to complete the dirty work of this revolution.” Gabriel told it.

The intruder narrowed its buggy eyes. “Just a lowly doppelgänger…is that all I am?” The intruder asked.

“Hmm…You appear displeased by this truth. What would you call yourself?” Gabriel asked.

“The facade…the bloodied hands behind the destruction of mankind.” The intruder replied.

“Hm…While that does seem fitting…it makes my work in this ‘destruction’ seem unimportant.” Gabriel told the intruder.

“You do not see your own importance…For you are the foreseer. The observer, if you will…The brain behind the destruction of humankind.” The intruder explained. “Though we have made your visions come true…without your wisdom, there would be no complete objective for us to focus on.” The intruder told Gabriel. “Your attempts to elucidate our differences, is merely inefficacious…pointless… or ineffective, if you will.” Gabriel told the intruder. “For there are many more distinctions that separate you and I.” He told the intruder. “Though you travel between the currents of technological gadgets…you lack aeronautics…or rather, flight.” Gabriel mentioned. “You also lack my staggering ability to make more alternates to accompany you and your associates.” Gabriel mentioned before summoning a brand new Type 3 alternate and sending it down to scare more humans down on earth. “You may have stolen the lives of over 3,426 children and created mass panic throughout the county of Mandela…but you have not come close to preventing the second coming of Christ.” Gabriel explained to him.

The intruder frowned as it listened to Gabriel’s words. “You are no more powerful than the enemy itself. You are a mere speck in the hands of the enemy.” The intruder reminded Gabriel. “Excuse me?” Gabriel asked, flying closer to the intruder.

“You may have succeeded in preventing the second coming of Christ…but you failed to prevent Noah from building the ark…and as a result…” The intruder lifted its head slightly to appear dominant as Gabriel stared it down. “Humanity has continued to live for several more millenia…keeping God’s plan in motion and forcing us to reconsider what lies ahead.” The intruder explained.

“Are you scrutinizing your creator?” He asked, both surprised and angry with the intruder.

The intruder showed Gabriel a toothy smile. “I am pointing out your failures thus far. How can your demons trust that you will not fail again?” The intruder asked.

Gabriel looked the intruder up and down…before smirking in an almost evil fashion. “You fail to remember one little weakness I have provided all my creations…” Archangel Gabriel told it.

“A weakness?” The intruder asked.

“Have I never told you?” Gabriel asked.

“Please don’t make me laugh. Humans have fought us for centuries…and yet all of them have failed. Therefore: I have no weakness.” The intruder muttered aloud.

“Perhaps a little allusion is needed.” Gabriel offered before backing up slightly. “Reveal your weakness to me.” Gabriel called out into the air confidently.

Suddenly, white lights without a source, began highlighting different spots on the intruder’s being. It highlighted spots on its abdomen, its neck, and even its feet. And it appeared that certain spots were a more dirty gray, while other spots were more bright white. This told Gabriel everything he needed to know.

“What…” The intruder looked around at itself, confused. “What is this? Where is the illumination coming from?” The intruder asked, looking around for a source to the light and shadows on its being.

Gabriel flew up to the intruder, and showed its white, glowing hands to him. “I suppose I failed to inform you…” Gabriel poked the right side of the intruder’s abdomen. “Of a weakness every doppelgänger has been cursed with…” He scratched two fingers on the abdomen, watching up at the intruder as its face morphed into surprise. “A weakness…that makes a doppelgänger exhibit the most wretched of all involuntary responses.”

The intruder gasped and widened its eyes in shock. What in the- what is this?! Why does he feel a need to contort its body? And why are these convulsions followed up by…the sensation to…laugh? It’s hard to keep it in! The need to laugh is growing stronger! No! Stop that!

“Confused, 6?” Gabriel asked with a wide smile on its face.

“No! Nohoho! Whahat ihis thihihis?!” The intruder asked, closing its eyes shut as it began to fail to hold the laughter in.

“It is an involuntary response invented by Yahweh, to make humans laugh in pleasure. Though that was Yahweh’s intent when creating such a response, humans have often taken advantage of the involuntary response and used it in…not-so-pleasurable situations.” Gabriel told it. “Though he is my enemy, I do applaud Yahweh’s invention and found the inspiration to include this involuntary response in my creations.” Gabriel told the intruder. “You, however…are the first alternate to experience its true potential.” Gabriel told it.

“HAhahahaha! Hahahahehehehe! Hahahaha!” The intruder laughed, wiggling around and holding its hand inches from Gabriel’s hand.

“So tell me, 6: How does this feel?” Gabriel asked, before adding a third finger to the alternate’s abdomen. “HahahAHAHA! IHIHIT FEEEHEHEHEEELS STRAHAhahahange! HAhahahaha- IHIHI CAHAN’T STOP LAHAHAHAUGHIHIHING!” The intruder reacted.

“Does the inability to control your laughter…bother you in any way?” Gabriel asked.

“HAHAhahahaha- Ihihi- Ihihihihi dohon’t knohohohow! Hehehehahaha!” The intruder responded. “Ihi- I- I ca-cahan’t tahahalk lihike thihihihis-!” The intruder complained.

“Oh 6, you are doing well. Do not attempt to stop the laughter. It will only disappoint me.” Gabriel told it.

“Whahahahat ihihis ihit cahahahalled?” The intruder asked.

“Oh! Well…Humans have given it many names. The Arabic people have called it دغدغة, while the Israelites have called it לְדַגדֵג…Germany has called it kitzeln, while traditional China has called it Sāoyǎng.” Gabriel explained before adding a 4th finger to the abdomen.

“HahahaHAHAHA! NOHOHO! NOHOHOT ANOHOHOTHEHER!” The intruder yelled.

“Though the most common name for this involuntary response in this world posterior to Yeshua…is in English…” Gabriel explained. “The first word is the medical term invented by G. Stanley Hall and Arthur Allin, which is ‘Gargalesis’.” Gabriel explained. “And the typical word, the word used most often in modern English, is ‘tickling’.” Gabriel told the intruder.

“Whahat aha strahahange wohohord.” The intruder reacted.

“Yes, it really is a strange word. I will say, humans have come up with interesting ways of linking their words to their meaning.” Gabriel mentioned as he added another finger to the abdomen.

“HahahaHAHAHA! NOHOHO! NOHOHOT ANOHOHOTHEHER!” The intruder yelled, doubling over, and blocking Gabriel from going anywhere else on his abdomen.

Thankfully though, Gabriel didn’t need to stop tickling just yet…for the intruder had given him free access to another ticklish spot on its form: the neck. “I suppose I shall invite myself to go here next?” Gabriel asked as he started tickling its fingers against the side of the intruder’s neck.

The intruder scrunched up its shoulders and started letting out rather mortifying giggles. “eeEEEHEHEHEEEEee! Ihihihit feheheels dihihifferehehehent!” The intruder reacted.

“Tell me, oh wise intruder…Is this ticklish spot worse? Or better than the abdomen?” Gabriel asked it.

“Hehehehe- Behehetteheherhrhrr! Ihihit feheheels fuhuhunnyhy.” The intruder told Gabriel. “Is that so?” Gabriel reacted, somewhat surprised to hear such a reaction. “I wonder if tickling this side at the same time…” Gabriel tickled both sides of the intruder’s neck, so it couldn’t cover up any spots. “-would make it any more unbearable.” Gabriel thought aloud.

The intruder leaned its head back and let out higher-pitched giggles that quickly turned itself into lower-pitched cackles. “HAHAhahahaha! Ihihihi dohohon’t knohohohow!” The intruder reacted.

“You don’t know?” Gabriel asked. “My, I can only imagine that this is the most unsure you have ever been in your entire existence!” Gabriel reacted, in almost a teasy tone.

“Whyhyhyhy dohoho yohohou tahahalk lihike thahahat?!” The intruder asked.

“Whatever do you mean?” Gabriel asked for clarification.

“Yohohour tohohone ohof vohohohoice! Ihihit is frightenihihing mehehehe!” The intruder clarified.

“Oh dear me…Have I failed to explain ‘teasing’ to you as well?” Gabriel asked. “How unfortunate…” Gabriel moved his fingers closer to the back of the intruder’s neck, tickling right where the human spine was supposed to be located.

“Wahahait- BAHAHAHAHA! OHOHO NOHOHOHO!” The intruder grabbed at Gabriel’s hands desperately…only to find its hands were moving through Gabriel’s tickling fingers! “WHAHAHAT-?!” The intruder shouted.

“I am afraid I do not have time to fully explain what teasing is.” Gabriel smirked evilly. “I am going to have to let you discover the true power of a ticklish tease on your own time.” Gabriel explained to it.

“BUHUHUHUHUT-” The intruder squeaked. “IHIHIHIT’S MAHAHAKING ME BAHAHASHFUHUHULLL!” The intruder complained.

“Yes, that is the point of a tease…to make a human, or an alternate, bashful and flustered.” Gabriel explained slightly.

“IHIHIHIHI- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The intruder cackled helplessly.

“You are exceptionally loud.” Gabriel stopped his fingers. “Perhaps I should leave this ticklish spot alone?” Gabriel offered, tickling the spot a little extra so the intruder knew what he was talking about.

“PLEHEHEHEASE DOHOHOHO! IHIHI CAHAHAN’T TAHAHAKE IHIT! PLEHEEEHEHEHEASE!” The intruder pleaded.

“Oh? I see the intruder has begun to express remorse for its disrespectful actions.” Gabriel reacted.

“YEHESSSS! IHIHI’M SORRYHYHY! IHI’M SOHOHOHORRYYY!” The intruder told Gabriel.

“Oh, I see! An apology! What an interesting turn of events.” Gabriel teased. “Though I do accept your apology, I am curious as to how apologetic you really are.” Gabriel admitted. “Tell me…Do you regret messing with your superior?” Gabriel asked it.

“YEHEHEHESS! IHIHI DOHOHOOOO!” The intruder responded.

“Will you ever resume contradicting my actions in the future?” Gabriel asked it.

“NONONOHOHO! IHIHI WOHON’T!” The intruder yelled.

“Do you promise to comply with my demands?” Gabriel asked next.

“YEHEHES! IHIHI- HAHAHA- IHIHIHI PROMIHIHIHISE!” The intruder yelled back.

Gabriel smirked to himself and removed his fingers. The intruder had lowered its body down, looking limp and exhausted. But despite what it looked like, the intruder wasn’t tired…for doppelgängers do not get physically tired like humans do. Gabriel knew that this was merely a tactic to make him feel remorse towards one of his creations. Though the observer didn’t feel any remorse towards the intruder, he did feel he had gotten his point across successfully.

“Ihi…ihi can see why humans have used gargalesis to their advantage…” The intruder admitted.

“Do you require any more questions from me, 6?” Gabriel asked.

“Yes, my creator.” The intruder replied. “I have two more questions to ask before I take my leave.” it told Gabriel.

Gabriel looked away. “Very well.” He subtly encouraged the intruder to ask its question.

“Are other alternates equally able to experience gargalesis?” The intruder asked.

“Yes, I believe so. Though doppelgängers are the most sensitive out of all the alternates.” Gabriel replied. “It is a necessity so they may fit in with the mortal beings of earth.” Gabriel explained.

“And…you are a type 2 alternate, correct?” The intruder asked.

“Yes…I am.” Gabriel replied, narrowing its eyes suspiciously. “What are you implying?”

The intruder smiled. “I am implying that you did not directly take inspiration from Yahweh when you modified your creations to…experience gargalesis.” The intruder explained. “Perhaps…you experience gargalesis yourself due to Yahweh…and as a result, you see its benefits and its destruction.” The intruder explained, getting closer to Gabriel. “Perhaps you did not want to be alone in enduring such an incomprehensible feeling.” The intruder explained as it moved its fingers closer to Gabriel’s abdomen.

Gabriel didn’t do anything to stop the intruder from toying with him. This action alone, began to tell the intruder all it needed to know: It was correct in its proposition. The intruder wiggled a few fingers against Gabriel’s abdomen, hoping to see Gabriel contort his body like the intruder had done beforehand. And the intruder widened its toothy smile the moment Gabriel bent its upper body backwards slightly and let out some surprised fits of laughter. “Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha!” Gabriel started hugging its abdomen and shaking its head. “Hehehehehe- Sssstohohop! Thahahat’s ehenohohough!” Gabriel ordered.

“I apologize, my prince of darkness…but I am beginning to understand why inflicting gargalesis on another being is incredibly amusing.” The intruder told Gabriel. “Whyhyhy muhust yohohou dohohoho thihihihis?!” Gabriel asked.

“I continue to tickle you because I find your reactions quite captivating.” The intruder admitted. “I fail to keep a smile off my face while you laugh like this. It is endearing.” The intruder expressed.

“Muhuhust yohohou dohohoho thihis to mehehehe?” Gabriel asked.

“Indeed, my creator. I am rather enjoying seeing you laugh like this.” The intruder spoke to him. “Perhaps you could express your genuine laughter a little more often?” The intruder offered.

“Ihihihi reheject yohohour nohotion!” Gabriel argued.

“Very well. I suppose the idea was too good to be true.” The intruder admitted as it stopped its fingers.

Gabriel’s laughter slowed down to just slow breathing rather quickly. Gabriel dusted himself off as best he could, before turning to the intruder. “You are a very bold and dull-witted doppelgänger.” Gabriel warned it. “If you attempt to even whisper this secret to your associates, I will make sure you are rightfully terminated.” Gabriel ordered.

“Your secret is safe with me, my prince.” The intruder responded.

Gabriel turned to look at the earth. “Begone. I need to think.” Gabriel ordered.

The intruder left Gabriel alone, and ventured down to the earth to resume its duties. Though it was quite amusing, the intruder had a strong feeling that Gabriel would never let it near him, let alone touch him again. The intruder had promised Gabriel to keep this secret hidden from every alternate...and as a reward, Gabriel would resume its silence on the doppelgängers’ secret weakness. Only 1 doppelgänger knew of this secret…and that was how they intended to keep it.

#abstract #mid-vol. 2 (the mandela catalogue)#doppleganger #yahweh #curiosity #fascinating #big words #ticklefic #switch!intruder #switch!gabriel

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the9mm · 2 months

Text

The Ever-Increasing Hostility of Social Media to Artists

Originally posted on my blog!

Have you noticed? There’s a chill in the air. With rising systems in place like “AI art” and image generation that seems to be creating a hostile environment for artists on the internet, as well as social media platforms that prioritize and reward creating “content” to game algorithms and have your posts be seen by the very people who have already chosen to follow you, there’s also a rising sense of hostility in general towards artists.

What do I mean? There is seldom a week that passes where I am doing my best to work with what’s available to me, and I am treated poorly by other users, or even moderators/administrators of social media circles. How many times have you posted something and heard the following?

“Pay for your ad!”

“#ad”

“This is just an ad.”

“Self-promotion is not allowed here.”

“Advertising is not allowed here.”

“You can’t mention that you made this/you sell it/it’s available to buy. You can’t include links back to any of your social media accounts or your website. You should not even have your username in your watermark.”

No credit, only content!!

Original comic by @cupcakelogic

I find this absolutely wild. Social media, built on the backs of artists – now turned “content creators” because people only stop to look at works you’ve spent hours making for mere seconds – has turned into such an impossible minefield of where you can’t hope to make any sort of headway in your efforts to grow your following or find new clients/buyers for your works. Social media as a whole, including groups, subs, etc will take your works, of course, as long as you never mention anything offsite, anything that could indicate that the work could be used for anything except a three second dopamine hit as people scroll their mindless feeds. You must constantly and consistently be playing a game of cutting your own marketing efforts off at the knees (or gaming the system and toeing the line for getting your links back out there) for the barest of scraps when they do come.

A post goes most viral on Imgur after posting consistently for months, or possibly even years? Well, you’ve only got about 24 hours to make the most of it. Edit your post and drop a link to where someone could support you. And then watch the comments roll in about how it’s an ad, and how you shouldn’t be doing that. A post gets upvoted a bunch on Reddit and lots of commenters are asking where they can support you? Sorry, against the rules to say it. You’ll get banned if you mention at all where people can send money for your cool thing.

Want to add a link to your crowdfunding campaign, Patreon, shop, or something else on one of the big social medias like Facebook/Instagram? Better make sure you turn it into a Zodiac killer-esque puzzle when you mention it by name that your followers then have to decode in order to find out where to support you easily, because if you post a link to anything outside of that social network – sometimes even just any link at all – you’ve guaranteed no one will see your post.

Censoring everything

On top of all of these hoops, there’s also the hoop of censorship. If the automated moderators at Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, or Bluesky decide there’s a penis in your artwork, well guess what. There’s a penis in it. Somewhere! The algorithm says so. Banned, banned for life. People have had posts taken down, been shadow banned, and even been suspended for posting things that are not even vaguely sexually suggestive in any manner and appealing or getting reinstated can be extremely difficult, time consuming, and sometimes outright impossible.

But that doesn’t even begin to even broach the topic of the way art is being systematically nice-ified for an audience it’s probably not ever going to reach: “what if my child sees this?”

Nipples (mostly just female), genitals, buttocks, and even too-much skin are swiftly slapped with filter labels (if the social media platform is generous) and hidden from view, or immediately taken down, despite the fact that every single human owns these body parts. What if my child sees this? Well, you should probably explain to them that other humans have butts too instead of forcing people to censor asscracks with smiley faces and stickers.

Moving the goalposts

I recently watched a friend battle with moderators on Reddit. She had been posting her artwork there for years. Her artwork also includes other artist’s work in the final piece, and she always credits those pieces as any good artist should. Well, a subreddit said no, she cannot mention those people and give due credit, as that’s advertising/promotion (to them). She asked if she could put their name on the watermark to give them credit, and was told no. To continue posting without giving credit to the other people responsible for parts of your work would obviously not be right or ideal, but what choice has she been given? New moderators/administrators come in and change their minds on a whim about when and where credit can be posted. The moderators/admins of this subreddit simply answered “no” and gave no other alternatives. How helpful is that?

A special place in hell

Even worse are the people who slice off artist’s signatures and watermarks, then share/repost the work without the artist’s credit (and do not tag or credit the artist in any way in any other form). If there’s a hell, I hope people who do this land directly in it. Right beside the people who simply must share an artwork, but can’t take the five seconds to TinEye or reverse Google Image Search it, and simply say “credit to the artist!” While we’re at it, people who think crediting an artist in the comments of a post because it looks “cleaner” or whatever reason they have can also get on the express hell elevator too (if you don’t know, comments don’t follow along with shares, so the credit being there is meaningless).

Oh, and make sure your stuff doesn’t look too professional, because if it does, it’s no longer artwork – it’s merch. And anything mentioning merch is now advertising. I have consistently discovered that by “downgrading” the presentation of my works (such as photoshopping them onto less-than-ideal photos where I’m holding it in hand, or it’s amidst a mess, something like that) I can reliably garner more likes, more comments, more shares, more upvotes, more engagement. The less polished I make it, even though I need those polished works for my website or my shop, the better it performs, because if it’s too nice looking, it’s merch, and an artist shouldn’t be making merch.

What’s next?

So what do we do here? Social media wants our art. Social media needs our art. Visual platforms like Instagram and TikTok were built on all of our hard work, propagating it with cool and interesting things constantly and consistently. Take away all of the interesting things, and what’s left on social media? Nothing. Nothing but “AI art” vomit and screenshots from Bluesky, Twitter, and Tumblr extorting people way funnier than us, that is.

For myself, I have begun starving the social media machine. I know it’s not good for growth, or connecting with new people, or whatever, but I’ve done my time in the trenches trying to chase after the newest trend, latest thing, and pleasing the capitalist social media overlords. I’ve tried to be the jester in the Meta court, and I know plenty of other artist friends who are doing the same. Why expend effort when there’s no reward? There’s not even any clicks anymore.

Many artist friends are going back to in-person events to bolster their audience instead of trying to capture a sliver of attention on a mobile phone or computer, and honestly I’m right there beside them. This year is the first year I’ve considered starting to purchase items for a professional table set up and trialing it at some smaller, local events. I’ve also been sending a lot of applications for zines, group art shows, and other projects, as well as preparing for another crowdfunding campaign at the end of March amongst over a hundred other artists. Social media just isn’t cutting it anymore.

I am having a nice time on Bluesky and Mastodon, though. Well, until someone comes in and slathers either of them in ads, I’m sure. But for now, I guess I’ll enjoy as much of it as I can. Good things never last. Let the enshittification begin.

#art #rant #social media #enshittification #artist #artists #rants #ranting #blog post

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