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#Scottish humour
scotianostra 8 days ago
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Loveliest.
馃摳 grantfraserking聽on Instagram
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unashamedly-glaswegian a year ago
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I'd like to thank Ayrshire News for the best front page
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aplacetocrash 5 months ago
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moonussie 25 days ago
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馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
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marquisedemasque a year ago
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Was on a walk today and passes an old farmstead, and this was on the wall outside
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Whoever had this made, I salute you my good bitch
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meepsandhaggis a year ago
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Rolling 馃槀馃槀
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bookmac95 a year ago
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I think this is my favourite insult that I would use when given the chance. 馃槀
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sundermunder a year ago
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salted-caramel-tea a year ago
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limeskye a year ago
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Scotland's gritter names are hilarious
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ayeforscotland a year ago
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This is good patter. There鈥檚 a shop in front of this cafe.
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scotianostra 11 months ago
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Yer day sells Avon and鈥.....聽
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unashamedly-glaswegian a year ago
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In case you didn't know, Scottish local councils let primary school kids or The Public name the snow ploughs and gritters. They saw what we did with boaty mcboatface and they said 'I want me some of that action'
It's been going for years and the 2020 names are here!
Snovid-19
Polar patroller
Elvis Spreadly
Winter Sprinter
She's a melter
The gritiest snowman
Spready Flintoff
JK Snowling
Grit Tok
You can track them on Scotlands gritter tracker
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corpyburd 2 years ago
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It's the tea!
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moonussie a year ago
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馃榿馃榿馃榿
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booksbabybooks a year ago
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Son of a Cross Stitch pattern
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linziland13 a year ago
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Saturday before going to a under 18s rock/goth/metal club our wee group of pals would get absolutely shit faced and then "try" act sober 馃ぃ
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tomboyjessie13-artblog 2 years ago
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As the picture suggests, this was inspired by this Scottish comedy skit about two Angry Scotsmen getting stuck in a voice recognition elevator Bluebarnowl聽/ @purplemermaidprincess7 showed me via DA status:聽https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jkci2aw1G3k
Gallerian: Where's the buttons? Nemesis: Oh no, they've installed voice-recognition technology in this lift, they have no buttons. Gallerian: Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Evillious? You ever tried voice-recognition technology? Nemesis: No. Gallerian: They don't do Evillious accents. Nemesis: Eleven.
~Could you please repeat that?~
Gallerian: Eleven. Nemesis: Eleven. Eleven. Gallerian: Eleven.
~Could you please repeat that?~
Nemesis: EL-EV-EN. Gallerian: Whose idea was this? You need to try an Maistian accent. "E-leven. E-leven." Nemesis: That sounds Lioness, not Maistian. Gallerian: No it doesn't! ELEVEN. Nemesis: Where in Maistia is that - City of Lioness?
~I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?~
Nemesis: Try an Marlon accent. "Eelevin! Eelevin!" Gallerian: You from the same part of Marlon as Dick van Dyke? Nemesis: Let's hear yours then, smartass.
~Please speak slowly and clearly.~
Nemesis: SMARTASS. Gallerian: Ee-lev-en.
~I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?~
Gallerian: ELEVEN. If you don't understand the language, away back home to your own country! Nemesis: Ooo, it's that talk now, is it, away back home to your own country Gallerian: Oh, don't start Ms. Bleeding Heart, how can you be racist to a lift
~Please speak slowly and clearly.~
Nemesis: Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Gallerian: You're just saying it the same way! Nemesis: I'm going to keep saying it until it understands Elphe, alright?...Eleven. Eleven. Eleven! Eleven! Gallerian: Oh just take us anywhere, you cow! Just open the doors!
~This is a voice-activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.~
Gallerian: Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why is it telling people to be calm? Nemesis: Because they knew they'd be selling this to the people of Evillious who'd be going off their nuts at it!
~You have not selected a floor.~
Nemesis: Yeah, we have! Eleven!
~If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say "Open the doors, please".~
Gallerian: Please? Please?? Suck my d***. Nemesis: Maybe we should just say "please". Gallerian: I'm not begging that for nothing. Nemesis: Open the doors, please. Gallerian: "Please!" Pathetic.
~Please remain calm.~
Nemesis: Oh! My! God! *climbs on Gallerian's back* You wait until I get up there...just wait for it to speak...
~You have not selected a floor.~
Nemesis: Up yours, ya cow! If you don't let us through these doors, I'm gonna come to Maistia, I'm gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and I'm gonna go to the electric chair for you! Gallerian: Evillious, you bastard! Nemesis: Evillious! Gallerian: EVILLIOUS! Nemesis: EVILLIOOOOOOOOOOUS! Both: FREEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!! Nemesis: FREEDOM!! *They get caught by the Sinners* Gallerian: *Nemesis gets off* Goin' up?
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I meant to get this done earlier weeks ago, since said status was posted Three days before Christmas Day, but as always I goofed, lazed about, and procrastinated, being too busy with other things or sleeping. But I was able to have a bit of motivation to finish this regardless.
Anyways, in the Status Blue wrote, she wanted both Gallerian and Nemesis to be in it(and that no one can stop her), and we both agreed that Nemesis gets to be the one to yell at the speaker, you guys should watch the skit, it's hilarious XD
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thenotsodamnede 3 years ago
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captainbee89 2 years ago
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Never change Glasgow!
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