#Secret-Diary-of-an-FA

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: The Star Beast- A Reasonably Watchable Mess

You may have noticed that, despite desperately positive, brittle reviews in the mainstream media, the last few years of Doctor Who went down like a lead balloon with actual fans and ordinary viewers. Turns out that a patronising gender-flip that served no plot purpose followed by a series of episodes in which the Doctor shilled for Space Amazon, murdered innocent giant spiders and delivered completely unearned straight-to-camera speeches like a fucking after-school special weren’t popular moves. The show’s viewing figures plummetted (despite contrary claims from the BBC that turned out, very simply, to be lies) and its review score aggregate on Rotten Tomatoes plunged, at one point, to literally 0%. Hilariously, the review aggregate from the mainstream media was around 90% at the time, once again demonstrating that the average critic can be bought for less than I spend assuring the silence of my past victims (the joke is that all my past victims are dead and I don’t spend a fucking thing on their silence). The abject failure of the Whitaker/Chibnall era was inevitable and any normal person could have predicted it. The BBC, however, didn’t and had a bit of a panic when they realised just how fucked their ratings were. Not that they admitted that, of course, but the fact they brought back the dream-team of showrunner Russell ‘The’ Davies and David Tennant for the 60th Anniversary Specials instead of letting the current incumbents stick around until after the anniversary kinda speaks volumes. So, now we’re getting three Anniversary specials, starring Tennant and helmed by Davies. The first one’s out, and it falls on me to review it as fairly as possible. So… how is it?

Well, put it this way: it’s not terrible, but it’s not the confident, unapologetic return to form I was hoping for either. It concerns a minor villain from the old DW comics called Beep the Meep who poses as a cute, furry critter while secretly plotting the genocide of the entire universe, a reunion with Catherine Tate’s always-delightful Donna Noble and a resolution to the Human/Time Lord meta-crisis that nearly straight-up killed her last time she was on-screen. And, in fairness, the stuff that works works pretty well. The jokes are funny, Tennant and Tate are excellent in their respective roles, the Meep is gloriously fucking psychotic (though the voice actor does sound like they’re phoning it in a bit) and Yasmin Finney, playing Donna’s trans daughter, is a lot less insufferable than she would have been if Chibnall had written her lines. I actually thought the bit where Donna threatens to “descend” on some kids who dead-name her in the street was well-handled and pretty accurately captured the protective instincts of a parent with a trans daughter. Mainly, she’s just there for the representation, though, and does the square root of bugger all to advance the plot. That’s probably a mercy, since I suspect the show would have had a hard time disguising the fact that this fifteen year old kid is being played by a twenty year old woman (who seems to have borrowed David Bowie’s cheekbones) if her part was any more prominent. But yeah- it’s a fun, knockabout adventure that doesn’t overstay its welcome and doesn’t try to outdo the entire show up to that point just because its been a completely arbitrary 60 years since the first episode. It’s basically fun and basically fine. It’s destined to be lauded to ludicrous excess by a mainstream media who are terrified of offering a proper critique because it’s got a trans person in it, while simultaneously being shat upon by online reviewers who know they can win easy points with the fans by challenging the suffocating ubiquity of the Standard Approved Opinion. In truth, though, it’s neither great nor awful- it’s just an hour of television that’s worth watching once but only once. It contains some good stuff… and some shite stuff.

Ah yes, the shite. That’s what you came to read about, isn’t it? Nobody in their right mind shows up at my blog-step for kind words and understanding: you come here because you know I have the pithiest insults and pissiest hot-takes. And yes: there’s some real fucking garbage to dunk on here. First of all, the Human/Time Lord meta-crisis gets resolved in the dumbest fucking way possible. For those of you who don’t remember, the ending of Modern Season 4 of DW was one of the most heartbreaking things ever attempted in a show designed for family viewing. Donna took on the consciousness of a Time Lord in order to save the universe but nearly burnt out her synapses in the processes. The Doctor wiped her mind to save her life, and then had to leave, because if she ever remembered him or the adventures they’d shared together, the crisis would reassert itself and her brain would overload, killing her. And the way they get around this, initially, is alright. Because Donna had a child, part of the meta-crisis got passed onto her, allowing two minds to take a strain that would kill just one. It’s a sweet and perfectly acceptable way of sorting a complex problem and something that legitimately wouldn’t have occurred to the Doctor at the time, because he had to come up with a solution that would work in the moment, not something that would require a nine month gestation period. But then, for some stupid fucking reason, they took it one step further and had Donna and her daughter simply relinquish the power of the meta-crisis, handwaving the obvious bullshit-ness of this move by claiming it just wouldn’t have occurred to a male-presenting Time Lord. The Doctor’s not an idiot. If that was an option, it would have occurred to him. Fuck, it did occur to him that one time Rose Tyler absorbed the Time Vortex and he had her give it up, channelling it into him to save her life at the cost of forcing a regeneration. It’s simultaneously contrived and slap-dash- a hasty right-on girl-power moment that fails miserably to play by the rules and cheapens the original story of the meta-crisis retroactively. It also brings us, neatly, to the phrase ‘male-presenting Time Lord’.

There’s a line in the excellent It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia wherein Charlie describes himself as “a straight man who poops transgender”. The phrase ‘male-presenting Time Lord’ sounds weirdly similar to me. It’s too specific and technical, while also including a wildly silly element (‘Time Lord’ is a vaguely ethereal, grandiose title that doesn’t gel with earthly, human discussions of gender identity). People just don’t talk like that. Sometimes people write like that, seeking an economy of phrasing that looks good on the page… but nobody actually talks like that. I mean, the context in which it’s used is stupid, but the phrasing itself is stupider. It’s also emblematic of a problem with the script as a whole. It feels like a first draught.

What do I mean by that? Well, there’s just a lot of instances where conversations feel slightly stilted or opportunities are missed. Case in point, there’s a bit where Donna’s discussing her kid growing up with her own mum, and it feels like it was meant to be a poignant discussion of the trials and tribulations of raising a child and then realising that they’re not what you were expecting but their own, completely separate person. What we get is just a placeholder where a couple of jokes occur but nothing of import is really said. Similarly, there’s a line where the Doctor muses that he doesn’t know who he is any more, which feels like it was meant to be developed into a meditation on his sense of identity after so many regenerations, metatextually addressing the show’s loss of a coherent, inter-regenerational identity for its lead character. Absolutely fucking nothing comes of it. There’s even a bit where a UNIT scientific advisor in a wheelchair encounters a flight of stairs and the way it’s shot makes it feel like there should have been a joke there. Maybe there could have been a really slow lift that she has to use while her soldiers rush up the stairs, or maybe she could have made one of them carry her. I’d have taken a lazy, low-hanging quip like “stairs…. My old nemesis” to be honest. But all we get is “sorry about the stairs,” and that’s it. My point is that there’s a superficiality to a lot of the scenes and lines that yells ‘PLACEHOLDER’, and areas that desperately need polish.

Speaking of polish: London is once again too fucking clean. I wish TV shows would stop doing that- making London look like the MCU’s version of fucking New York- all glass skyscrapers and clean streets. The real London is a bizarre, dystopian mix of impersonal steel monuments to capital, crumbling baroque architecture from the middling-glorious past and slumping, poverty-stricken housing from a fucking Dickens novel. The city has a really specific, slightly nightmarish character that most telly shows and films fail miserably to capture. It’s inexcusable in this case, because Doctor Who actually used to do a pretty good job of showing London as it is. Which is mental, since it used to be filmed in Swansea in cocking Wales.

But I digress. My final major issue is that the message of the show’s text is wildly at odds with the metatextual message of the specials’ mere existence. The whole reason the BBC re-hired Tennant and Davies onto the show was to announce a return of the Who everyone loved; a tacit admission than the last few years of lazy virtue-signalling and shoddy script-work had been a mistake that they were keen to move on from. There is literally no other reason to take such an obvious backward step in the show’s development. Yet the episode The Star Beast keeps bringing up Whitaker’s tenure as the Doctor as though it’s something to be celebrated. We get lines like “The Doctor’s a man and a woman. And both. And neither. And more,” (again, nobody fucking talks like that) that feel like an attempt to fold the previous three years into the acceptable canon, when the whole reason the specials are happening is to renounce them and leave them in the cold. Then again, that’s the Beeb for you- it's amazing if the left hand knows what the left hand's doing. If someone's bothered to inform the right hand, it's so surprising as to be frankly suspicious. Add to that the extra layer of complexity that comes from getting Disney to part-fund the show and you’re bound to end up with a confused mess. Also, why did they bother getting Disney to part-fund this? The Special Effects look like something a fourteen year-old could whip up in his bedroom. Which is fine- I never mind the sets wobbling in Who: I just can’t figure out where all the fucking money went.

I think the root problem is two-fold. First, as much as I loved Russell T. Davies’ original time as showrunner, it’s really obvious he’s gotten old. It’s only been fifteen years since his time in charge ended, but sometimes, the ageing process kicks a guy’s arse really suddenly (ask me about waking up one day to discover I now have man-boobs sometime). There’s this interview he did recently about how Davros represents an offensive portrayal of wheelchair users, and it’s clearly just the ramblings of a confused old man. Nobody looks at Davros, creator of the Daleks, and thinks ‘yup- there goes a typical wheelchair user’. Part of the point of his character is that he’s kind of admirable on paper, overcoming age and sickness to achieve the impossible… but he perverts and subverts those expectations by doing something fucking appalling. It’s a nuanced, complex take on the way pain and suffering can make a person sympathetic without necessarily redeeming them. And Russel T. Davies, a once-talented writer who should understand this stuff, just doesn’t get it any more. He’s well-meaning, but he’s clearly just not up to the job any more. I mean, he still has talent- his renewed tenure will be better than Chibnall’s… but maybe it would have been a better idea to let the poor schmuck retire on a high note.

The other problem is deeper and more intractable. The world has changed since Doctor Who was the best thing on television, and it might be that it just can’t work any more. The modern era of Who was born from a place of hope yet, also, a place of marginalisation. It was 2005. The government of the day had dome some pretty fucked up things, but they were nowhere near as evil as the governments who were to succeed them. Sci-fi was still a niche thing allowing for experimentation and weirdness. There were definite good guys and bad guys on the world stage and in domestic politics: there were genuine victims on one side and hateful bigots on the other, and it seemed like it might actually be possible for the underdogs to win for a change. 2023 is a different world. We’ve seen the worst UK governments since Thatcher in the 80s (and people kept voting for them) and the worst US President in history (a Savaloy-orange freak with the hair of a sexually-confused Nazi). On the cultural level, the lines between victims and villains have blurred, with the arrival of the never-ending Oppression Olympics birthing a generation of dead-eyed bullies who hide behind nominal ‘oppressed’ status in order to tear down genuinely nice people (like that time a load of wankers piled onto a scientist who landed a probe on a moving comet FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HUMAN HISTORY because he did while wearing a T-shirt with a stylised naked lady on it). Identity has replaced solidarity as the go-to discussion in progressive (or allegedly progressive) circles. The sci-fi genre itself has become popular- meaning it’s infested with normies who don’t understand it but do want to own it. Doctor Who was never built for this world. The change in culture and society over the last just-under-twenty years is more significant, in some ways, than the changes that occurred between its original outing in the 60s and its reboot in 2005, and I don’t know if it can survive those changes. We inhabit a world where actual heroism and even basic decency seem less important than the performance of those qualities in ways that a mass audience can understand and where nuanced solutions, informed by kindness, are verboten because everyone’s supposed to pick a side. There’s no room for a genteel, British/Alien gadabout with two hearts and a silly sonic screwdriver in a world where the battle-lines are drawn and performative virtue has become a universal aspiration. In order to fit our tawdry world, Doctor Who would have to stop being Doctor Who. And, to be blunt, our culture doesn’t really deserve any form of Doctor Who at the moment.

So yes, The Star Beast is pretty good. It’s a nice slice of television that fails on many fronts, but still manages to entertain. But what next? Where can we possibly go from here? Personally, I intend to watch the specials and- if they’re okay- Ncuti Gatwa’s era after that. Then I think I’m done. By rights, the show should face cancellation while it’s still strong enough to bow out gracefully, but if that doesn’t happen, I’ll still have to pick a point to stop watching. Sooner or later, all good things must come to an end, and if the BBC isn’t big enough to admit that, at least I am. I suggest you pick somewhere to draw a line, too.

#Doctor Who #The Star Beast #Review #TV review #Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #Secret-Diary-of-an-FA

[starchascr]

𝐥𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧

‘ aslıhan malbora, cis woman, she/her, 27 / 268 , high fae ’ ― cauldron save you. it seems MELINOE DRAVEN has finally made it to the capital, the LADY from the NIGHT COURT is said to be CHARISMATIC and is said to describe themselves with WISHING ON EVERY STAR IN THE NIGHT SKY, COURT GOSSIP AS A FORM OF CURRENCY, PAINT-SPLATTERS ON WRINKLED SILK DRESSES, CONSTANT APOLOGIES FOR BEING LOST IN YOUR OWN THOUGHTS, PEOPLE CALL YOU FICKLE & YOU LAUGH IN THEIR FACE ( WHO WOULD EVER WANT TO BE KNOWN AS PREDICTABLE? )  and with all of this in mind their CAPRICIOUS nature always seems to get them into trouble. may the mother hold them as they navigate this unthinkable time.

compare to : caroline forbes ( the vampire diaries ), carrie bradshaw ( sex and the city ), sarah cameron ( outer banks ), holly golightly ( breakfast at tiffany's ), serena van der woodsen ( gossip girl ), oberyn martell ( game of thrones ), ty lee ( avatar: the last airbender ), lydia bennett ( pride & prejudice ), thor ( marvel cinematic universe ), buffy summers ( buffy the vampire slayer ), angela montenegro ( bones ), daisy buchanan ( the great gatsby ), merry brandybuck ( lord of the rings )

☾ 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ☽

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

full name : melinoe lyra draven nicknames : mel age : 268 ( physically 27) species : high fae gender / pronouns : cis woman & she/her sexual orientation : pansexual romantic orientation : panromantic occupation : lady / aspiring painter

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

personality traits : charismatic, flighty, capricious, fickle, compassionate, brash likes : painting, revelries, star gazing, dancing, late mornings spent sleeping in, taking care of stray animals dislikes : responsibility/duty, early mornings, long travel, outfit fittings, long meetings fear(s) : death, boredom secret talents : can juggle up to 6 items, is ambidextrous goals & ambitions : to be known for art rather than the immature night court daughter memorable traits : is constantly in motion alignment : chaotic neutral label(s) : the social butterfly, the sabaist, the effervescent, the reveler vices : vanity & foolhardiness virtues : friendliness & pride

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

eye color : dark brown hair colour : dark brown hair type/style : typically worn long & wavy/curled height : 5'6 build : slender exercise habits : occasionally practices fighting, but it's rare dominant hand : left glasses/contacts : n/a tattoos : n/a scars : n/a piercings : ears pierced

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘.

father : tbd. mother : tbd. siblings : tbd draven (eldest sibling), cathal draven (elder adopted sibling), sabine draven (elder adopted sibling) children : n/a extended family : tbd. pets : far too many to name

*:･ﾟ ⸻ 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

as a child, melinoe had always been a flighty thing, flitting from one interest to another. she would give each of her toys equal attention in part because she feared their jealousy should she show more affection towards one bauble over another, but partly because nothing held her attention for long. more than that, there was so much in this world to explore, and mel wanted to see and do everything. after all, why would she limit herself when the world was endless? she hated the routine and monotony that some preferred, instead enjoying creating her own worlds to play in. and when people called her fickle for bouncing around from thing to thing, she would laugh in their face. who would ever want to be known as predictable? there was something in stars that called to the girl. there was an element of wonder there, something that lent back to the fantastical child who dreamed of something more waiting for her. she always stared up at the stars at night and made up stories for made up constellations before she learned all of their names and stories. it was a game to her, making up stories. there are moments that she feels like she belongs more to the burning balls of gas that have held her fascination than to her family and friends around her. so instead she took that feeling and put it into her art, trying to capture the feeling of awe and wonder she always has every time she looks up at night. she still feels like she hasn’t fully achieved that goal no matter how many of her pieces have sold. for a girl otherwise known as fickle, art is the only thing she has ever dedicated herself to other than her family. mel seems to be constantly in motion, flitting from one thing to another. she’s compassionate, but forgetful. people shake their heads when she passes, muttering about how she’s just so immature, so young. and that’s more than true. she prides herself on being decisive, but never really stands by any sort of decision. she prefers love over war and fighting, never having really trained beyond what was necessary to her own protection. the word ‘responsibility’ is a ugly one that she hopes to never come into contact with ( though she supposes everyone must grow up some day ). if she had her way, she would spend her afternoons and early evenings painting, her nights partying, and leave her mornings for sleep. there’s nothing better than being surrounded by people, music, alcohol, and treats. and if there is no event, then she’s perfectly happy to throw one ( or rather, have someone do it for her ). ultimately, she’s just trying to live her best life.

#☾ dossier. | melinoe. #☾ all posts. | melinoe. #ofcourtfables:intro

[jasmariswonderland]

For Secrets Ask 📒📔💃🐇🌜 for Yuulan, Farron, Taima, and Danica. Sorry it's so long.

(A/N: Lowkey, long asks are my fav. I just need a little extra time to finish them. 😊)

OC Secrets Ask Here

📒- For a secret journal/diary they keep (Bonus: Share an entry from it!)

Yuulan's Diary Entry ~ November 30th

Saw Tsunotaro again this evening. He seemed in low spirits but when I asked him what was wrong, he wouldn't tell me but he did ask me something kinda odd. He asked me if I were to have a birthday party, would I invite him. I told him my birthday already passed but if I were to have a party, of course, I'd invite him. That seemed to make him happy and we went on our usual evening walk together. I guess there was something he wasn't invited to and that's why he's feeling down. I get it, it sucks feeling left out of things and I usually feel very left out around here since I can't use magic or fly on a broom. I don't know how much Tsunotaro knows about me or my situation, but I think I'm gonna keep that to myself for the time being, who knows what he'd think if he knew how useless I really am. But I do think I'll invite him for tea sometime soon, hopefully.

📔- For a secret sketchbook they keep (Bonus: Share a sketch or doodle within it!)

Yuulan doesn't really keep a sketchbook but she does doodle a lot in her notebook. Most of her doodles consist of drawings of Grim, random patterns and designs and Mickey.

💃- For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others

For reasons unknown to her, Yuulan has strong proficiency in languages. This is a holdover from her Scala training as one thing she was taught was various languages used in the different worlds outside her home. She's able to pick up on languages pretty easily and understand words only after hearing them a few times.

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

Not sure how much of a "secret" it is, but Yuulan is very attached to the holiday card Malleus gave to her, ESPECIALLY after she realized the truth about his identity.

🌜- For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about

Chewing on the tips of her braids when she's anxious or deep in thought. She's pretty good about not doing this in public but when she's back in her room, she does this a lot. Surprisingly, Grim has never seen her do this.

Everyone else's under the cut! ❤

📒- For a secret journal/diary they keep (Bonus: Share an entry from it!)

Farron’s Diary Entry ~ October 24th (His Freshman Year)

I think I just made a very big mistake. That mockup I made for Vil-san’s new stage outfit, he found it. I was foolish and left it on the dressform right in front of the closet in our club meeting room, thinking no one would stop by after we were done meeting for the day. Well, I expected him to be extremely critical of my work since it was, really, ametrauish at best. But to my surprise, he said it was adequate and, even more surprisingly, that I have a lot of potential! I’m supposed to have a chat with him tomorrow afternoon, no, this is bad bad BAD! I’ve done well so far not drawing attention to myself, what if Vil-san decides I should be a part of the Film Research Club as MORE than an assistant?! Oh Sevens, I don’t want to think about it! And I don’t want a repeat of middle school, I just want to sew in peace without worrying about judgement. Is that so much to ask?

📔- For a secret sketchbook they keep (Bonus: Share a sketch or doodle within it!)

Unlike Yuulan, Farron does keep a sketchbook, filled with designs of outfits he’d like to create in the future. He mostly draws his outfits modeled by either Vil or Sidonie.

💃- For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others

Singing, most of his friends know he plays piano very well but he can also sing too. (seriously, have you heard his voice claim sing?! Farron could have easily been part of the NRC tribe if he wanted to!) But his reserved nature keeps him from showing off this talent and plus he’d rather be known for his fashion design. Also, Pomefiore already has enough songbirds.

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

Farron has a signed photo of Vil that Vil personally autographed for him at a fan event a few years before they started NRC. Farron is unsure if Vil actually remembers meeting him and lowkey, he kinda doesn’t want to ask since they’ve developed a very amiable, borderline queerplatonic relationship. But Farron did bring the photo with him to NRC and held onto it during orientation, as a goodluck charm since he really wanted to be sorted in Pomefiore. And it looks like the charm worked.

🌜- For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about

Not really a “weird” habit per say, but each morning when Farron wakes up, he begins his morning by whispering affirmations to himself. He’s done this since beginning NRC in order to help with his confidence.

📒- For a secret journal/diary they keep (Bonus: Share an entry from it!)

Taima’s Diary Entry ~ November 5th

Well that sucked more than it had to. Classes A and D had joint P.E. again today which meant having to once again deal with the cabbage-head! Ugh! Why is he so…so…just thw way he is?! Ever since the spelldrive tournament, he has been pestering me about apologizing to him. For what, I have no idea since it’s his own damn fault Scarabia came in last! I really tried to ignore him but Ace decided to be a jackass and invite him to stretch with us. He knows we’re always at each others throats and I think it’s just entertainment for him. When he wasn’t berating me for my form, or being a human, he was openly comparing me to Malleus. Such an unfair comparison since, after all, I AM human and Malleus-sama is an all-powerful fae prince! Ugh why is he like this?! But I will admit, even if Sebek does get on my last nerve, he’s at least entertaining. And Epel let me in on a secret: Sebek is half-human himself! So I dare him to call me human again in an insulting way, I’ll have such a surprise waiting for him!

📔- For a secret sketchbook they keep (Bonus: Share a sketch or doodle within it!)

Taima doesn’t really keep a sketchbook but she does doodle a lot in her notebook, mostly chibis.

💃- For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others

Taima can play the harp a little, something she picked up from her mother. She’s pretty good with it but she’s also not much for playing intsruments and would rather leave that to Lilianne, preferring dancing.

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

Now, absolutely NO ONE knows about this, but Taima has a little plush frog from her childhood that she still sleeps with. She keeps it hidden in a special drawer in her room and takes him out whenever she’s stressed or about to sleep. It was a toy one of her aunts gave her when she was a baby and she’s still attached to it. 

🌜- For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about

Giving people secret names/nicknames. Kind of like how Rook and Floyd give people nicknames but Taima keeps all of her nicknames for people to hearself or in her phone’s contact list. 

📒- For a secret journal/diary they keep (Bonus: Share an entry from it!)

Danica’s Diary Entry ~ December 30th

Today was my last day in Sunset Savanna. All in all I had a fun time and it was nice seeing Lili again. But I saw someone else there too. Me, her and Taima were hanging out in the marketplace this afternoon and guess who we saw? Rook-san! We ran into Rook! He said he was home for the holiday too, idk for some reason I thought he was from Shaftlands like me and Vil. Either way, Taima and Lilianne convinced me I should hang out with him this evening so we did. We went to his family’s villa but we were the only ones there, we talked a lot. Somehow I felt less anxious being around him like this than when we’re at school. It’s easier thinking of him as just another guy and not my vice dorm leader. I did notice him staring at me a lot. He...really has such pretty eyes, and a very kind smile. He smiles a lot, but something about how he smiles at me is very…very…

📔- For a secret sketchbook they keep (Bonus: Share a sketch or doodle within it!)

Unfortunately, Danica doesn’t keep a sketchbook, according to her, she is artistically challenged and rarely draws.

💃- For a talent that they like to keep hidden from others

Danica wouldn’t really consider this a “talent” but she fancies herself something of an ameatur poet. She has a separate journal for writing her verses but considering she’s already very bashful about her known skills, she’d rather this hobby be kept to herself.

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

Her music box, I’ve mentioned it once before but Danica has a music box that her sister gave to her on her 12th birthday, a few months before she died. She listens to it when she’s alone in her room and this is the song it plays.

🌜- For a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about

One weird habit Danica has is always arranging her items by color because according to her, that makes it easier for her to match things. Many of her accessories, jewelry and school supplies are set aside in separate containers based on their color.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #oc: yuulan #oc: farron #oc: taima #oc: danica #things i've answered

[sparkledfirecracker]

WIP Game

Thank you @ghotifishreads for the tag. You can find the post here.

I’ve added a few more WIPs since the last time I played this. I think at this point there’s well over 100 WIPs in my docs. So I did make a selection, I left all my original works one out and kept it strictly fanfic based. It was fun to see some sitting in my docs since 2020/2021 untouched(no pun intended), but no desire or idea to finish them.

The rules given were as followed: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I will change them a little, if you are curious to find out more about a title, ask me about it and I’ll share a little snippet or tell you about it if there’s literally only 1 line in it 🤣.

WIP LIST (under the cut, it’s a long one)

Daddy Academy - Ari - Our Little Secret incl 4 & 5

1 Daddy Academy - humping

2 Daddy Academy - wand voyeur

3 Daddy Academy - missionary

6 Daddy Academy- anal both ways

7 Daddy Academy - Somnophilia

M&H spin off Lloyd Hansen vs assassin- Becoming Mrs. Hansen

FA Freezy spin off M&H Good for You

FA M&H Nick spin off - New Beginnings

FA - Nick vs turtle - Love is a Verb

FA Nick & Turtle - The Night We Met

FA Andy - spin off M&H Waves

FA Andy - part 3

FA Pebbles backstory

MH spin-off Pete Brenner

FA Steve - spin off biker au M&H

FA Curtis part 2 - M&H spin off

FA Ari spin off M&H Wildest Dreams - Returning Home

FA Ari - spin-off part 2

FA Hayden - When the Phoenix Rises

FA Frank - spin-off M&H

FA Jake Jensen vs notes

FA Ari - prequel his POV

FA Mace & Needle - spin-off M&H

FA Johnny biker spin off

FA Colin spin-off M&H

FA Nick G vs babysitter

Gym Rats Olympic Winner Steve

Wellness resort CEO Andy Barber

Wellness Resort - Ransom

Golfer Ransom Finale

Spicy Neighbours Steve & Bucky

Sinful Guilt - Andy and Steve

Sorority Story

Unruly / Roaring Nightskies

Cuckolding - Ari / Andy

Corrupt stepdad Andy

Promiscuous invitation

Valentines stepdad

Champagne New Years - Ransom

Ice Hockey Jake

Pornstar Galore

Spinning Wheel of Death

Coffee & Shakes

Halloween - Ransom Sugar daddy

Santa’s sack

Cam girl - dildo review

12 days of Christmas

Endearing Sins spin off - Ransom & Lee

DPP story ransom and Ari

Pegging skinny Steve

Brazen and Buff

Blasphemy- Lloyd

Mechanic Frank

Request Andy - The One That Got Away

Loyalty of Life - Cult leader Andy

Ari vacation

Viking Freezy part 2

The hook-up

Dangerous Thirst

Escort Ari

Test of Faith - Endearing Sins spin-off / finished not posted

Ari - turned down date

Mister silver Fox

Skating rink

Viking Freezy part 3

Gardner game - Curtis

Dark Prince Ari

Magician Jake

Rafe/Ransom Dare Night

0900-TeleRidge

Panty sniffing Devin

Masquerade club

Favorite convict

Chateau inheritance

Blowing the dice

Barbarians

Travel diaries

Worked up - Andy

Skating rink - Jake

Tree chopping

Welder Steve

#lilo plays #wip game #wips of tumblr #so many wips #too many #wip list #ghotifishreads

[estephyrosales]

Get To Know Me

Hello, girlies!!

On this special edition post, I wanted to do a pretty basic "get to know me" post. I realized that I've shared a lot of my thoughts and opinions in my last posts, but I haven't shared anything personal. I bet y'all don't even know what my favorite color is. Like my last post, this is also one of my old favorite YouTube tags.

What is your name?

Estephania Rosales. (It's pronounced es-te-fa-NEE-ah) But as you can tell by my other socials, my friends and family call me Estephy.

What is your favorite song at the moment?

I feel like my favorite song changes weekly, but at the moment it's Hasta La Raiz by Natalia Lafourcade. Mostly because it reminds me of Mexico, and I'm currently missing it a lot.

Who is your favorite artist?

Bad Bunny for sure. No brainer.

Have you participated in any sports?

I played volleyball in junior high. I was okay-ish. Definitely not good enough to continue into high school, so I stopped. However, I do love watching baseball. I know it's not what the question is asking, but I felt like I needed to put that out there.

What is your favorite book?

My favorite standalone book is probably Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz. However, I love the Harry Potter books. (I do not condone or agree with any of the hurtful things J.K Rowling has said in the past few years)

What is your favorite movie?

The Princess Diaries. I'm also a sucker for the 2005 Pride and Prejudice.

What are some of your favorite tv shows?

I love Grey's Anatomy even though I think the show should have ended already. New Girl, Abbot Elementary, Parks and Rec, and Schitt's Creek are also some of my favorites.

Who is your celebrity crush?

ANDREW GARFIELD <3 .. I don't think I have to explain myself on this one.

What are your life goals?

Honestly, I just want to have a happy and healthy life. However, there are some things I want to do. Of course, I want to graduate college and start my career. I really want to live in Mexico at some point and experience the culture firsthand. I also want to travel across Europe. I also really want to know how to drive.

What’s your favorite thing about being Mexican-American?

There are many things, but my favorite probably has to be knowing two languages. It's so much fun getting to experience media in another language. I am of course referring to watching Shrek in Spanish. It's honestly so much funnier. Jokes aside, I love having two cultures and being a mix of the two.

If you want to know a little bit more about me, continue to read my other blog posts! You can also follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. The links are posted on my bio!

#thoughtswithestephy #firstgenlatina #latina #get to know me

[harrelltut]

卍 JEHOVAH Occult Witness Me [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] ONLINE as Biblically Black [Ancient] Egyptian [BAE = COSMIC] King TUTANKHAMŪN since I Metaphysically + Alkhemically REINCARNATED SOULFULLY [MARS] on Earth [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] as I Mentally + Artistically + Creatively [iMAC] Write My HIGHLY Official… U.S. ATLANTEAN [USA] Egyptian Diary of SIRIUS Black [B] Afterlife Energy [BAE = COSMIC] SECRETS Under Secret [U.S.] Service [U.S.] PROTECTION in California [PC] 卍

#U.S. Michael Harrell [Emperor TUTANKHAMŪN] on Earth #I SOULFULLY RESURRECT My HIGHLY Crucified Black Christ [B.C. = JESUS] Body of U.S. Michael Harrell [Emperor TUT] #I Metaphysically + Alkhemically REINCARNATED SOULFULLY [MARS] on Earth [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] #Black Folks Never Die... WE Immortal #I Mentally + Artistically + Creatively [iMAC] Write My HIGHLY Official… U.S. ATLANTEAN [USA] Egyptian Diary of SIRIUS B in California [CA] #they FEAR My HIGHLY Official… U.S. ATLANTEAN [USA] Egyptian Diary of SIRIUS Black [B] Afterlife Energy [BAE = COSMIC] SECRETS #Celebrate the Biblically DEATH & Apocalyptic DESTRUCTION of present day america in modern day times #I SABOTAGE ALL powerless TELEVISED govment agencies of fallen america wit’ My QUANTUM Black Occult Technocracy [BOT] #I Now [NWO] Magically INVOKE [MI = MICHAEL] Elijah [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] Muhammad on HARRELLTV® #I Now [NWO] Magically INVOKE [MI = MICHAEL] the Honorable [MH] Minister Louis Farrakhan on Egyptian HARRELLTV® #I BEE Compton California’s [CA] Best Kept Unidentifiable Secret [U.S.] in Lost America [L.A. = NEW Atlantis] #I BEE JEHOVAH’S Biblically Black [Ancient] SUN [BAS = ORISHA] King TUTANKHAMŪN Under Secret [U.S.] Service [U.S.] Protection on Earth #I BEE So Universally SOVEREIGN [U.S. = UNTOUCHABLE] on Earth like Nubian Archangel [NA = NĀGA] SATAN #I Magically + Lordly KILL [MLK = SHADOW GOVERNMENT] thy enemies like the Bible Prophesied #I BEE A HIGHLY ILLUMINATED [HI = HITTITE] 360°+ Occult Freemason [Underworld LORD = OSIRIS] of QUANTUM BLACK ATLANTIS #My HIGHLY FUTURISTIC Afterlife [FA = FANTE] ATLANTEAN Ministry [FAM] POSITION on Earth [P.E.] #I got Special Political Privileges II Privately Communicate [PC] II Reality TV President Trump in fallen america #broke ass america ain't got no high technology #don't show no weakness or give excuses if you dare go II war wit’ Me [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] on Earth [JE = JESUS] #I BEE A MOST HIGH [MH = JAH] NUBIAN JEHOVAH [ORUNMILA] of Yoruba IFÁ #if you harm Me [ME = U.S. Michael Harrell = TUT = JAH] on Earth [JE = JESUS]... the HIDDEN Black Secret Service of the NOI will KILL you

[alfred-braginsky]

RusAme Secret Santa 2020

My secret santa this year is @grapeautumn​ !!! I hope you like it, Merry Belated Christmas! 

Gift requested:  Human AU Alfred accidentally summons a demon while making Christmas cookies. The problem comes when Alfred just vehemently doesn't believe in demons and just figures some random guy showed up at his house. The demon, Ivan, starts out fairly miffed but warms up to Alfred (Comedy/fluff, any rating)

Shit, shit , shit, shit!

Alfred simply cannot believe he forgot to make the Christmas cookies for the office potluck. Well, he could believe it. It was common knowledge that he was known to have one or two things slip from his mind. There was no way he could go out now at this point in the night. The roads were icy, and it was too snowy for anyone to see in this weather even with their brights on. All he had to make cookies was lingering ingredients in the cabinets. There wasn’t even a recipe he could follow, everything online looked like either too much work or too basic.

He couldn’t exactly serve up ‘banging your head against the wall’ at the party, so what could he do? A sense of clarity washed over him. He would call his friend Francis! After all, his pastries always seemed to kick ass at any event, formal or just your average potluck. Pulling out his phone he dials his number.

 No answer.

 Things seemed bleak. There was no hope. Nothing he could do. He didn’t have an inkling on the seemingly complicated mysteries to baking cookies. Another thought came to him in his time of need. There is no other choice. He was going to have to call Arthur.

Alfred shuddered at the thought of having to call his cousin for baking advice. The first reason being is that he would never hear the end of it from Arthur. He would have that smug smirk on his face as he brings it up every other Christmas with the family in that condescending tone Alfred hates so much.

The second reason being that any recipe he would get from him would probably end up as piles of ash. Arthur isn’t exactly known for his baking. Alfred hoped his improvisation skills would save him as long he had the building blocks for a cookie.

 Swallowing his pride didn’t seem so hard when he was this desperate. As the phone range he immediately regretted his decision. Too late to hang up now, Arthur would know he called.

 “Hm, hello?” the line stopped ringing as Arthur’s sleepy voice answered.

“…”  

Alfred hoped if he didn’t say anything maybe it will just be just be ignored and Alfred can go back to panicking in peace.

“Hello? Alfred? This better not be another prank call; I won’t fall for it twice! I’m hangin---”

“No! Wait…I’m sorry. This isn’t a prank, I swear.”

“What time is it there? Did something happen? Do I need come over there earlier than expected?”

“What? No! I need your help with something, and it doesn’t require you to come over.”

Arthur was silent for a moment out of curiosity.

“What do you want?” with cautious hesitation.

------

Alfred had explained everything. Arthur was as smug as expected. Luckily for Alfred, he didn’t need to write anything down. Arthur stored some of the books he likes to read  at his place for when he comes over for the holidays. An unpublished cookbook that Arthur had written himself was among the box of books.

Alfred went to the hallways closet and quickly located the box. Rifling through the book he was intrigued with a mix of disgust at how many cheesy romance novels were in the box. They all looked the same. His eyes widen as he spotted a book that looked different from all. The book was black and faded. It didn’t seem like Arthur’s style, but it was the only one that was different. Well, maybe if he looked more…

Nah!

There was no time for that. Alfred flipped through the book and was positive there had to be something in there. If it turned out to be Arthur’s diary, that was even better! Maybe he could find some dirt on him.

Speaking of dirt, it seems like that was the first ingredient for the cookies. Weird? But Alfred wasn’t going to question it.

He grabbed his coat and tried to get as much dirt as he could from the frozen ground. He collected all the dirt required in a bowl. Next step was flesh? Okay…this was going a bit off the track of cookies, but if this is what the recipe asked for who was he to question it?

He grabbed chicken nuggets from the freeze and heated them up in the microwave. Once heated up he put them in the dirt and began to mix the ingredients.

Alright, what did he need to do next? His eyes scanned the very old pages and his eyes widen at what the recipe asked for next.

“What the hell, cut a lock of my own hair?!” he exclaimed.

That had to be some kind of health code violation. Alfred is certain that the recipe will call for him to take it out later. The recipe required a few more ingredients that he was able to find nearby. After it was all mixed together, he rolled the nasty concoction out and began using Christmas cookie cutters to make them into holiday themed shapes. He sprinkled them with peppermint for a pop of color.

The final step was to leave them under the light of the full moon. Alfred looked out the window to see the entire moon above him. What luck! With a yawn he set them down with the window open for the full effect of the full moon’s rays. Baking took a lot of work and he deserved to rest. After taking a quick shower, he got into some comfy pajamas, and went to sleep.

The next morning, Alfred woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring in his ear. Letting out a groan he put his phone on snooze and shut his eyes hoping for a few more minutes of sleep. His eyes snapped open as he heard a loud crash coming from downstairs. He jumped out bed and immediately dug through his closet and pulled out a wooden baseball bat.

With caution he tipped toed out of his bedroom and around the corner where the banging and clashing was coming from. Swallowing hard, he gripped the bat tightly, ready to swing at whatever was in his kitchen. What made him think that leaving the window open at night was a good idea?!

Maybe it was a hungry raccoon. Maybe a party girl who went into the wrong house. Or maybe---

A tall man dressed in all black EATING HIS COOKIES!

“What the hell are you doing? Do you know how long it took me to make those!” Alfred shouted as he lowered the bat, his mouth dropping open in disbelief. His eyes held a pang of defeat. He was going to get scolded by his boss for not bringing anything to potluck again. His boss already didn’t like him. God, he was the fucking worst. At least bringing these cookies would have gotten him off his back today. Well, that is if this stranger hadn’t eaten them!

“Watch your tongue mortal.” A sweet yet threatening voice came from the intruder.

“What? Shut up! You’re the one who broke into my house and ate my Christmas cookies!” Alfred was so frustrated with this entire situation. The day started out so poorly he doesn’t know how it could possibly get any worse.

“You made me an offering. I was supposed to eat the offering.” The man had calmly explained. His previous demeanor shaken when the human who summoned him spoke to him in that way. No mortal has spoken to him like that, but he was unable to harm the entity who summoned him so there was nothing he could do about it.

“What offering? Dude, you literally broke into my house and ate the cookies that took me all night to make!”

“I am a demon from the 5th realm of Hell. I would not be in the house of someone like you if I was not called upon.” For the most part, people who summoned knew what they were doing. This man seemed clueless.

“A demon, huh? Where are your wings? Got any horns? You look like someone dug you out of the clearance section at Hot Topic.”

This references completely flew over Ivan’s head. This is taking into account that he could speak any mortal language, but he could not understand what it is the other man was going on about.

“I am in my most simple form to survive in this realm. You added unnecessary things to the offering, I could not come in my true form.”

“So ya can’t even prove it then?” Alfred crossed his arms over his chest and raised a brow.

There was a moment of silence. Ivan was trapped in this realm with no powers, and no one to call upon. He hung his head in defeat.

“No. I cannot.”

Alfred sighed. Well, there was nothing he could do at this point.

“Alright, you’re gonna come to the grocery store with me and replace the ones you ate. Wait there, I’m gonna get dressed.” Alfred held a calm tone as he noticed things becoming less hectic. He nodded before leaving the kitchen.

Quickly getting dressed and packing his work stuff into his side bag, Alfred comes back to see the man standing in the exact same spot. This man has not moved an inch.

“Are…you alright?” he asks hesitantly, looking at him up and down. His eyes landed on the strange man’s face. Their eyes locked. He had purple eyes. How strange.

Alfred’s face flushes red as he realizes he was staring at him.

“Yes, I am fine. I was told to wait. You on the other hand look feverish? You are quite red.” His tone did not waver.

“Y-Yeah! I’m fine. Let’s just get going, don’t think I forgot about you eating my cookies.”

“I have already explained myself, that was an offering!” The demon becoming increasingly frustrated with the other man. Ivan was at a complete loss as to how this man did not know he had summoned him.

Alfred rolled his eyes and exited his apartment with the other man in tow. They got to his car and Alfred proceeded to get in. The demon looked confused.

“What are you standing around for, get in!”

The man had a look of embarrassment.

“I do not know how.”

Alfred was inclined to believe him, although it was something so unbelievable. However, his tone seemed too meek to say otherwise. He gets out of the car and makes his way over to the other man as snow crunches under his boots.

“See this? It’s a handle you just pull.” His voice laced with patience as he explained the tricky technology that was a car door. He was a faster learner, on the second try he managed to open the door.

Both were seated in the car and Alfred began to drive away.

“By the way you never told me your name. I’m Alfred. Alfred F. Jones!” A bright smile adorned his face as the other had a tint of red on his cheeks. Probably from the cold.

“My name is I̶͖̠͋̿̐́v̸͈̥̗͇̂a̸̺̿́̆̈́͑n̸̞̐͑̑.”

Alfred could not understand the sounds the other man had just made. He blinks in confusion and clears his throat to hide his nerves.

“What?” asking for clarification.

“Ah, I am sorry. My accent is very thick. My name, to translate it into something you would understand, is Ivan.”

Alfred rolled the name around on his tongue. He offers him a kind smile.

“Cool!”

They arrive at the grocery store. The doors had just opened and it was full of elderly people and tired moms. Alfred hopes the lines aren’t too long, he really doesn’t want to be late, who knows what his boss will say.

“C’mon. We’re here for one thing.” Alfred motions Ivan to follow and he does. The grocery store was just like any other.

Full of food, noises, smells, bright lights. Ivan hates this place. The demon follows Alfred a little too closely. The shorter man can practically feel his body pressed against his own. Damn, he was so touch starved.

“Hey buddy, you think you can take a step back or two?” Stopping in his tracks to confront Ivan about the problem.

“I am here to serve you. I cannot do that if I am far.”

“Yeah, I’m not asking for 6 feet, just a few inches.” Alfred massaged his temples, so this was how the day was going to go, huh?

Ivan thought it over and took a step back.

“Very well then.”

“Thank you.”

The grocery store wasn’t as packed as he thought. Although, because it was only a few days before Christmas he wasn’t sure how likely it was that there were going to be any cute cookies left.

Rushing over to the baked goods sections his eyes zeroed in on the last box of Christmas cookies. A smile curled on his lips that fell just as quickly when he spotted an old woman reaching and then grabbing the box of cookies he so desired.

A look of sadness washed over Alfred; a defeated smile replaced his disappointed frown. Ivan watched as his bright energy seemed to vanish. Something inside of him told him that he needed to do something. They haven’t known each other for very long but the way Alfred has been treating him has been different than the other humans who have summoned him in the past.

The demon has some magic left on reserve for emergencies. Seeing the smile wiped off Alfred’s face was considered an emergency.

A dark aura enveloped Ivan and in an instant he appears in front of the now frightened older woman.

“You are not worthy of those cookies. Your mortal hands are unfit to hold possession of the power and responsibility they yield. Put them down and you shall not be harmed.” Ivan’s pitch was lower than Alfred has ever heard. The man just stared in shocked with his jaw dropped as the older woman practically threw them back on the table and went off speeding as fast as she could with her cart.

Ivan immediately went back to his human form. He picked up the mostly intact cookies and brought them to Alfred.

“For you.” He says, moving his hand up to Alfred’s face to shut his open mouth.

Alfred’s eyes were still wide.

“W-Why did you scare her like that? It was important but not that important she probably shit herself!”

“You are very crass. I did it for you.”

Alfred was upset but the action was very endearing. The way the black aura shrouded Ivan was pretty hot. Wait, why was thinking that? He needed to stop.

“Thank you. That was really nice of you. But you can’t scare old ladies like that! Maybe next time, ask her if she’s willing to give them up. You’ve probably traumatized her for life.”

“It does not seem like she had much time left.” Ivan said with complete seriousness. Alfred elbowed Ivan trying not to laugh.

“Alright! Let’s go pay for this bad boy.”

“Why must we pay? We fought for this, we won. We deserve to keep the spoils.”

“That’s not how it works, big guy.” Alfred claps the taller man on the shoulder as he leads them to the cash register.

“By the way. You gotta show me that magic trick you did earlier with the old lady.”

“Magic?”

“Yeah! Like did you have some smoke bombs? A voice changer?” Alfred’s eyes sparkle never taking his eyes off Ivan as he pays.

“I am a demon.”

“I see. A magician never reveals his secrets.” Alfred nods in understanding. “Artie’s the same way! He never thought we could see him practicing. But he wore this goofy cape everywhere.”

They talk as they make their way back to the car. Ivan opens the passenger door like a pro. The cookies seated safely on Ivan’s lap as they continue to talk.

“Artie?” he asks, the name tumbling clumsily on his lips.

“Yeah! My cousin Arthur. Yeah! He’s the one I got the book from that had the recipe of the cookies you ate.”

Ivan felt like he was talking to a brick wall. Alfred seemed nice enough, but he simply cannot believe that he is a demon and that Alfred summoned him. He needed to save his strength and peace of mind and just played along.

“Come with me to the office Christmas party? We get a plus one and since you’re already with me, and since we’re already on our way.”

“Yes.” There were too many things in Alfred’s sentence that flew over his head and it was just easier to accept them. He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into.

They park by a plain building with grey brick, the parking lot covered in the fresh snow that was falling. Getting out of the car, Ivan vowed to protect these Christmas cookies with his life. He would ensure their safety until they arrived at their destination: The Break Room.

Alfred pressed a button, and they entered the elevator. He saw Ivan flinch and took his hand to calm him. Ivan’s shoulders dropped as he took a breath; he was grateful for the hand. The hand was soft and warm against his. The elevator bell dinged, and Alfred let go much to Ivan’s disappointment. Both of them stepped out and into Alfred’s workplace.

The shorter man greeted a few of his co-workers as he wore a friendly smile making his way over to the break room. His boss was there already, telling a story clearly no one wanted to hear.

“Look who made it on time for once, huh?” As he laughed. Ivan saw Alfred twitch and the demon narrowed his eyes at the small man. The party had plenty of treats and goodies. With more than enough cookies.

“Oh, I thought you asked me to get the cookies?” Alfred asked through gritted teeth.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I figured you wouldn’t so I asked Martina to bake some instead. Sorry, completely slipped my mind.” Alfred wanted to kill him. He has never wanted to murder someone so badly.

“I mean you’re not exactly the brightest, which is fine, we all have our strengths.”

Ivan has no clue what is happening, but he knows Alfred is not as stupid or forgetful as this man is making him seem. From what he has seen Alfred is kind, generous, and patient. Qualities he does not see from most mortals.

“Just let this be a lesson for ya, okay?” walking over to Alfred and putting a hand on his shoulder. Alfred was visibly uncomfortable. Ivan snapped. It didn’t matter if it used up the last of his power in getting home. The black aura returned along with blue flames. Horns protruded from his head as dark wings ripped through the back of his shirt. Wings that expanded the entire length of the break room.

“How dare you say such things when you are nothing but a miserable pile of waste. You are a pitiful excuse for a mortal. You are a worm beneath my feet and the feet of the one who summoned me.”

Ivan stomps over to the shaking manager and effortlessly picks the man up by the throat. The manager struggles in his grip. The employees gasp and watch with shocked expressions.

“You will show some respect and reverence to those who deserve it since you are only the dirt under my foot.” Ivan drops the man with a thud and the manager wriggles away and hides behind the other employees. Alfred stands tall as Ivan turns to him and reverts to his human form. Ivan lets out a heavy sigh as Alfred wraps his arms around the other man and kisses him. Ivan doesn’t know what this means but his human form seems to know instinctively to kiss back.

They break it and Ivan sweeps Alfred off his feet and picks him up bridal style. Alfred laughs and wraps his arms around his neck. Ivan goes to leave but Alfred stops him for a moment.

“Also. I quit. Merry Christmas, bitch!”

#rusame secret santa 2020 #rusame #aph russia #aph america #christmas #aph #my shit

[choicesmcxjake]

Some Random Facts:

I have now played through every finished book, except VIP and the spanish one.

93 Books in total, 1450 chapters. (Subtracted the chapters from the ongoing books)

And 7 of those books I have payed for (almost) every diamond scene, plus a few random ones in other books.

Right now I have 2003 diamonds.

•

And these were my Love Interests in the books:

A Courtesan of Rome: No one

Across the Void: Mc: Kepler / Eos: Deimos & Oberon / Pax: Zaniah

American Most Eligible: Derek Taylor (dated) & Bianca Sandoval (married)

Baby Bump: Since we had to, I romanced both

Bachelorette Party: No One

Big Sky Country: Sawyer Oakley

Blades of Light and Shadow: Mal Volari

Bloodbound: Jax Matsuo

Crown and the Flame: Dom: Sei Rhuka / Kenna: Diavolos Nevrakis

Desire and Decorum: Miss Annabelle Parson

Distant Shores: Edward Mortemer

Endless Summer: Jake McKenzie

Foreign Affairs: Tatum Mendoza

Haunting of Braidwood Manor: Eleanor Waverley

Hero: Kenji Katsaros

High School Story: Michael Harrison

High School Story: Class Act: Skye Crandall

Home for the Holidays: Holly Wright

It Lives in the Woods: Ava Cunningham

It Lives beneath: Danni Asturias

Love Hacks: Leah Myers

Mother of the Year: Thomas Mendez

My First Two Loves: All Three (Headcanon Poly)

Nightbound: Cal Lowell

Open Heart: Bryce Lahela (1. Play) & Ethan Ramsey (2. Play)

Passport to Romance: Marisa Pires

Perfect Match: Hayden Young & Sloane Washington

Platinum: Avery Wilshere

Queen B: Professor Ian Kingsley (M!LI)

Red Carpet Diaries: Matt Rodriguez

Ride or Die: Logan

Rising Tides: Robin Tora (F!LI)

Rules of Engagement: European Guy (Noah)

Safe the Date: Lindsay Basu

Sunkissed: Eliana Flores

The Elementalist: Griffin Langley

The Freshman: Becca Davenport(1. Play) & Zig Ortega (2. Play)

The Heist Monace: Fabian Ahmad

The Royal Romance: Asian "Liam" (Sebastian)

The Royal Masquerade: Crown Shield (F!LI)

Veil of Secret: Flynn O'Malley

Wishful Thinking: Anna Koishi

•

My favorite books are still the Endless Summer Trilogy.

Other books I liked are Crown and the Flame Trilogy, Nightbound, Ride-or-Die and Open Hearts 2

A book that suprised me and I ended up liking was A Courtesan of Rome.

Random facts:

Suprisingly I didn't warm up to Blades of Light and Shadow, even though it very well made.

I miss the Art Style from ES and Hero

The Female Love Interests deserve better!

Open Hearts is kinda going downhill with Book 3, which is why I only really liked Book 2, but Book 1 was also okay. I'm still spending diamonds on Book 3 cause I have enough, I have 2 LI I like and I hope Pixelberry will catch themselves and give Raf, Jacky and Bryce the recognition they deserve!

•

My favorite LI is Jake McKenzie (suprise)

Close second are Bryce Lahela, Cal Lowell, Thomas Mendez and Tatum Mendoza

Others that I liked: Sei Rhuka, Diavolos Nevrakis, Michael Harrison, Ava Cunningham, Ethan Ramsey, Matt Rodriguez, European Guy (RoE)

Random fun facts:

In my Au Bryce and Ethan are dating Elliot and Valentin who are brothers, Elliot is the one working at Edenbrook, Valentin his younger brother.

I don't have a type, shut up...

I loved all of Endless Summers Love Interest but I can't bring myself to play and romance anyone but Jake (kinda funny, but he is my comfort character and he's also a big part of my Au(s))

•

My favorite Mcs is:

Endless Summer (Benjamin (Benny) Anderson)

Close seconds are: (yes I give all my character Jakes last name (in a few exceptions Anderson))

Elliot McKenzie (OH) • Sebastian McKenzie (FA)

#playchoices #pixelberry #endless summer #ride or die #nightbound #open hearts #a courtesan of rome #foreign affairs

[mama-tumblz]

Fa and G slso had a secret relationship that was discovered when G died and her diaries were found.

That’s something isn’t it? Who’s surprised though, really? 🤷‍♀️.

(Thanks to the epic librarian skills of @judikins929)

https://timesofoman.com/article/39351/thursday/hollywood-love-story-the-six-year-secret-of-ginger-and-fred

[doblondoro]

Fai un listone con un libro/canzone/film/qualcosa che ti piace per ogni lettera dell'alfabeto!

Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe, coming of age e self discovery molto dolce e delicata, sto aspettando il sequel

Battle Royale, uno dei tanti libri a tema "ne resterà uno solo", che come tanti distopici racconta fin troppo realisticamente la natura umana

Coraline, probabilmente l'ultima canzone in ordine cronologico che mi ha veramente devastata e fatto piangere sangue. La descrizione tagliente del dolore, della sconfitta, della resa.

Diaz, da vedere, assolutamente

Eskimo, il rimpianto, il ricordo, l'innocenza perduta, il si stava meglio quando si stava peggio elevato a poesia "se penso a quella che eri e a quel che ero che compassione che ho per me e per te"

Fucking Åmål, un film delizioso su due ragazzine che si innamorano

Gattaca, ebbene sì, mi piace la distopia

Hoppipolla, la canzone, il video, la voglia di saltellare tra le pozzanghere

I'll give you the sun, un libro che ho amato tantissimo, per la storia, il legame interrotto e ritrovato tra i fratelli e il loro linguaggio cifrato, le immagini fotografiche dell'ispirazione artistica, la love story non approfondita ma secondo me emozionantissima

Jingle bell rock, non mi veniva niente ma fa allegria dai

Kalinka, mi piace tanto e mi ricorda un viaggio in Russia dove una ragazza provò a insegnarcela

Lolita, non so se abbiano cancellato Nabokov ma uno dei libri più potenti e disturbanti che io abbia mai letto. Ricordo degli stralci in modo vividissimo, cosa abbastanza rara per me.

My mad fat diary, non smetterò mai di consigliarlo, di tifare per Rae, adorare Flinn, piangere per Tix (bonus Martino Rametta)

Notte prima degli esami. Mi emoziona sempre. "Forse cambiati certo un po' diversi" L'ascolto e ho ancora diciott'anni (bonus Niccolò Fares)

Orgoglio e pregiudizio. Libro e serie BBC del 1995. Che dire. L'ho letto veramente tante volte e mi mette sempre di buonumore. E Darcy non mi ha rovinato la vita.

Peanuts, ho la collezione di cinquant'anni di strisce e quegli eterni bimbetti e il saggio cane hanno tanto da dire

Qualcuno volò sul nido del cuculo che dire, magnifico

Radici, un libro meraviglioso

S questa non la scrivo, indovinate. Unico indizio, è una serie TV

The perks of being a wallflower, non ho letto il libro ma il film lo trovo un gioiellino

Un bacio, film di Ivan Cotroneo, intenso, coraggioso, e altri aggettivi che tengo per me per non spoilerare

Violino, non so suonare e sono un'ignorante che non è in grado di cogliere i particolari ma è uno strumento che amo follemente

Without you I'm nothing, una delle mie canzoni preferite di sempre

X factor perché ci ho passato tante belle serate

Yuuri on ice, l'ultimo anime che mi è piaciuto davvero davvero tanto

Zombie, Dolores mi manchi ancora

#grazie anon ❤️❤️❤️ #quante cose ho lasciato fuori #e quante lettere mi hanno dato filo da tircere

[weirdesplinder]

I romance che rileggo più spesso

Per prima cosa intendo chiarire che quelli che elenco in questo post non sono i miei romance preferiti in assoluto (alcuni sì, ma non tutti), ma bensì quelli che amo rileggere spesso. E per me, le caratteristiche che rendono un libro rileggibile a poca distanza di tempo dall’ultima volta che l’ho letto sono la leggerezza, brevità, e l’ironia che lo permeano.

Un amore inaspettato

TItolo originale: The famouse heroine

Mary Balogh

Link: https://amzn.to/2XTLoXn

L'aver salvato la vita al figlioletto di un duca cambia il destino della bella Cora Downes. La giovane viene infatti introdotta in quegli ambienti aristocratici di cui, come figlia di un semplice mercante, avrebbe solo potuto sognare. Il problema è che dove va lei i guai la seguono e anche se il suo altruismo e sprezzo del pericolo la rendono una beniamina del Ton, un passo falso e una risata di troppo la metteranno in una situazione compromettente con l’ultima persona al mondo a cui avrebbe voluto creare problemi.

La mia opinione: semplice, carino e divertente. Una lettura non impegnativa e veloce in grado di risollvarti la giornata se sei giù di corda, con un poco di romanticismo

Il segreto di Miranda

Titolo originale: The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever

Julia Quinn

Link: https://amzn.to/3nYYygv

Londra, epoca vittoriana. Miranda Cheever si è innamorata del fratello maggiore della sua migliore amica a nove anni e non ha mai smesso di amarlo. Lui non l’ha mai notata, e un matrimonio sbagliato lo ha reso freddo e cinico. Eppure solo ora si accorge di lei

La mia opinione:  romanzo veramente dolcissimo e struggente, che con il suo amore non corrisposto mi spezza il cuore ogni volta  e poi lo ricostruisce con il lieto fine, fortunatamente. Quando rileggo questo libro di solito dopo rileggo anche il suo seguito intitolato Quella volta a Londra che vede protagonista la migliore amica di Miranda, e che è molto meno struggende, ma molto carino e ironico.

A Sir Philip con amore

Titolo originale: To Sir Philip with love

Julia Quinn

Link:https://amzn.to/3qyV8Cz

Trama: Eloise Bridgerton ha ormai ventotto anni compiuti ed è ancora senza marito. A spezzare il grigiore delle sue giornate arrivano le lettere di sir Phillip Crane, un botanico rimasto vedovo con due gemelli da crescere.

Dopo un anno di corrispondenza lui le chiede di sposarlo, ma quando finalmente si incontrano, Eloise scopre che Phillip, più che una compagna, cerca una madre per i suoi figli. Riuscirà il suo amore a fare breccia nel cuore apparentemente insensibile di Phillip?

La mia opinione: mi piace rileggere molti dei romanzi della serie Bridgerton, in particolare il secondo, il quarto, il settimo, ma probabilmente quello che rileggo più spesso è il quinto, questo. Eloise a volte come personaggio è troppo, lo ammetto, ma mi fa sempre ridere tanto.

Courting Miss Hattie

Pamela Morsi

Inedito in italiano

Link: https://amzn.to/2LDXku1

Trama: 1800. America. Hattie ha ormai più di trenta anni, e non ha mai avuto un corteggiatore. Non è bella ma ha della terra sua e finalmente uno spasimante si fa avanti. Non è bello, è vedovo e non è simpatico, ma è sempre meglio che rimanere zitella. Hattie accetta il corteggiamento e pensa proprio di sposarlo…..ma non sa che qualcuno è molto geloso delle sue attenzioni.

La mia opinione:  Un bellissimo libro. I due protagonisti, amici da anni, solo grazie ad un terzo incomodo scoprono di amarsi. Lei è bruttina, lui è bello e più giovane di lei, ma innamoratto cotto di lei. Tra scazzottate, raccolti, lavoro duro, equivoci e risate, il libro scorre via che è un piacere.Courting Miss Hettie Pamela Morsi

Titolo: The Brides of Praire gold

Maggie Osborne

Inedito in italiano

Trama: Cody Snow non sa cosa l’abbia spinto ad accettare l’incarico di guidare una carovana di dodici spose per corrispondenza dal Missouri fino a Clampet Falls, Oregon, ma già prima di partire si è pentito di averlo fatto. Non solo dovrà sorbirsi le loro innumerevoli lamentele e proteggerle dai pericoli del viaggio, ma dovrà anche combattere contro l’attrazione che prova verso una di loro, Perrin Waverly, poiché lei è promessa ad un altro, e lui ha giurato a se stesso dopo la morte della moglie, che non si sarebbe mai più sposato.

La mia opinione: Il mio libro preferito di questa autrice al momento. Non li ho ancora letti tutti, ma sarà sicuramente ai primi posti, poiché mi è piaciuto un sacco, nonostante sia piuttosto corale. Che dire. Mi è piaciuto talmente tanto che ora sto leggendo tutti i romance che riesco a trovare con protagoniste spose per corrispondenza. Nel vecchio west vista la mancanza di donne alla frontiera e nei nuovi territori appena colonizzati, era usanza che gli uomini mettessero annunci sui giornali cercando moglie, e le donne, spinte dalle più varie ragioni potevano rispondere all’annuncio via lettera. Ne conseguiva una corrispondenza che spesso si concludeva con l’uomo che pagava il viaggio alla donna che lo raggiungeva e i due, pur non essendosi mai visti, si sposavano.Ora, di solito, se una donna rispondeva ad un tale annuncio era perché aveva dei problemi a trovare marito in altro modo o non aveva altro modo di mantenersi.In questo libro le dodici donne della carovana hanno avuto diversi motivi per decidere di affrontare un viaggio così duro e pericoloso: Perrin è vedova, non può mantenersi da sola e non vuole rimanere nel suo paesino dove la sua reputazione è a pezzi a causa di un suo errore di giudizio dovuto però alle sue circostanze. Le pesa andare a sposarsi lontano, non per il viaggio, ma per il fatto che gli uomini l’hanno sempre sfruttata o delusa e non crede che la cosa sarà diversa stavolta. Mem invece è una donna troppo indipendente, troppo alta e schietta per trovare marito nel suo paesino, e ha sempre sognato di vivere un’avventura, desidera ardentemente questo viaggio, e le spiace un poco che sua sorella, che dipende un po’ troppo da lei, abbia deciso di seguirla perché è rimasta vedova da poco. Hilda è una maestra troppo brutta per trovare marito in altro modo e abbastanza piena di coraggio tedesco per tirarsi indietro davanti a questa sfida. Sarah, vedova di un ufficiale, ha viaggiato al suo fianco per il mondo e sa cosa aspettarsi da questo viaggio, troppo avanti con gli anni, ormai trentenne se vuole marito deve andarselo a trovare e non ha certo remore a farlo. Augusta dopo gli sbagliati investimenti del padre e il suo suicidio non possiede più nulla al mondo se non l'orgoglio di quella che una volta era la famiglia più ricca della città e odia l'idea di questo viaggio, ma non ha altra scelta. Jane, figlia di un pastore si unisca alla carovana per non viaggiare sola verso il suo promesso sposo che conosce già bene e che l'aspetta. Alice è in fuga sotto falso nome da un marito troppo manesco. Thea, una dotata disegnatrice, timida e riservata, spera in un nuovo inizio. Cora, una povera serva illetterata non ha altre prospettive. Winnie è assuefatta all'oppio e i genitori sperano che allontanarla dal paese potrà aiutarla, mentre Ona nasconde un segreto ancora più oscuro.Il viaggio viene descritto non con troppi tediosi particolari, ma con la giusta accuratezza. Le difficoltà grandi e piccole, i problemi su come e dove occuparsi dei propri bisogni, la polvere, la sporcizia, la stanchezza la malattia, eppure è tutto parte di uno sfondo pittoresco e verosimile a una storia romantica e avvincente. In particolare, oltre alla storia principale tra Perrin e Cody. Assistiamo al triangolo amoroso tra Webb, la guida indiana della carovana (che in realtà è solo per metà indiano ed è unico erede maschio di Lord Albany, Un ricco Duca inglese), Augusta bellissima, ma arrogante e razzista, e Mem, non bella, ma atletica, dolce coraggiosa e sopra ogni cosa amichevole, leale e curiosa. Webb all'inizio è attratto dall'incredibile bellezza di Augusta, ma quando lei lo respinge perché mezzo indiano, per fortuna si accorgerà di Mem…..Ora queste poche parole non vi rendono l'idea della loro storia che è davvero molto dolce ed è la parte del libro che ho amato di più, ma fidatevi se vi dico che vale veramente davvero la pena di leggere questo romanzo. Poiché oltre a tutto ciò che vi ho già detto contiene anche un mistero da risolvere……

The river knows

Amanda Quick

Inedito in italiano

Link: https://amzn.to/3iDzL0t

Trama: tre donne che si suicidano gettandosi nel fiume nella stessa settimana., non può trattarsi di una coincidenza, anche se sembra essere così.

Anthony Stalbridge , il promesso sposo di una della vittime però non crede alle coincidenze ed inizia ad indagare sull'accaduto, è convinto che qualcuno abbia ucciso la sua fidanzata e sospetta di una persona in particolare,Elwin Hastings, ciò che gli manca però è una prova. Così decide di introdursi nella sua casa per trovarla. Lì incontra un'atra persona che sta a sua volta perlustrando la camera da letto, una donna: Louisa Bryce, che cerca prove di altro tipo riguardanti i loschi traffici di Lord Hasting, per un articolo giornalistico.

I due uniscono le loro forse per indagare a fondo su Hastings, scoperchiando segreti molto più oscuri di quelli che cercavano e scoprendosi pericolosamente attratti l'uno dall'altra. Louisa ha molto da nascondere al suo nuovo collaboratore, eppure è proprio il suo passato che fornirà loro la chiave per risolvere il mistero. Infatti lei sa bene come un finto suicidio sia un ottimo metodo per scomparire, e dei tre corpi delle donne suicide, solo uno è stato ritrovato…..

La mia opinione: rileggo spesso i romanzi di Amanda Quick in generale, perchè io la doro, ma al momento uno dei mei èpreferiti è questo perchè presenta un impianto giallo molto ben fatto.

Titolo: Summer Breeze

Autore: Catherine Anderson

Inedito in italiano

Trama: 1889. Rachel Hollister non ha messo piede fuori di casa, un ranch in mezzo alle prateria, da ben 5 anni. Vive tra l'altro non nell'intera casa ma solo in una stanza e mezza e tiene barricato tutto il resto. Il terrore l'attanaglia al solo pensiero di uscire. Ma non è sempre stasta così, tutto ebbe inizio cinque anni prima quando tutti i suoi famigliari durante un pic nic furono uccisi a colpi di pistola da un misterioso omicida posto su un rilievo. Una ad uno caddero davanti ai suoi occhi ma la pallottola destinata a lei si limitò a sfiorarla e farla svenire. Il colpevole dovette crederla morta e Rachel sopravvisse, ma da allora non è più uscita di casa. Sopravvive grazie ad un anziano ranchero che lavorava con i suoi e che le porta cibo e vende i suoi dolci, tramite una fessura tra le assi che barrano le porte. Poi però un giorno lui non viene al loro solito appuntamente asettimanale. E’ stato ferito e al suo posto si presenta il giovane ranchero , un forestiero, che lo ha trovato e curato. Rachel dovrà superare le sue paure e fidarsi di lui se viole sopravvivere….. anche perchè chi ha ucciso la sua famiglia la tiene d'occhio e aspetta solo che lei esca per finire la partita.

La mia opinione: un romanzo interessante, diverso dal solito (l’agorafobia nei romance non è molto diffusa) ,romantico ma anche pieno d'azione e introspezione, molto intimo con i due nostri eroi chiusi in casa all'oscuro di chi voglia uccidere Rachel. Conntiene sia la tensione dei classici gialli in ambiente chiuso, e il romanticismo dei romanzi d'amore nonchè una delle più belle lettere d’amore che sia mai stata scritta. Provare per credere.

#Amanda Quick #Mary Balogh #Maggie Osborne #pamela morsi #Julia Quinn #bridgerton

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Doctor Who: Wild Blue Yonder Review

Quick question, Russel T. Davies: where the fuck did THIS come from? I only ask because this is a genuinely brilliant, exciting, well-written episode of Doctor Who that feels like the best of your original run, whereas- no offence- The Star Beast was a confused, underwhelming mess. Seriously, if I was a teacher who had to grade both pieces of work, I’d assume you’d gotten illegal help with one of them. I mean, seriously Russ: what did you do between writing Exhibit A (the mess) and Exhibit B (the fucking masterpiece)? Did you just neck a fuckload of hallucinogens? Did you finally get laid? Did you allow yourself to be beaten over the head with a big, rubber hammer? Whatever it was that made the difference, please, please keep doing it.

And now to address my actual readers: Wild Blue Yonder is very, very good and I recommend you watch it with a fucking colostomy bag in, because it is shit-yourself scary. The Doctor and Donna get stranded on a spaceship at the literal edge of the universe (she spilled some tea on the TARDIS console, because of course she fucking did) and there are things aboard from the darkness beyond that edge. Lacking shape or form or mass- being entities of pure, malignant consciousness in fact- they assume the forms of Donna and the Doctor and proceed, forthwith, to fuck with them in the most unsettling and horrific manner possible. It’s creepy as fuck to see the copied bodies of our leads distort and warp in horrendous, Kronenberg-ish ways as the entities from the dark beyond existence seek to elicit their fear, but the real-headfuck comes from their refusal to give up the pretence, remaining in-character even while waxing loquacious on their evil plans (which I won’t spoil). There’s an element of psychological warfare- even torture- at play here, as they gradually tease out bits of buried darkness and it’s deeply, deeply affecting. It’s strikes a delicate balance, being the kind of thing that you can get away with on prime-time TV without pulling its punches one fucking iota.

Of course, this being a Doctor Who episode, the horror is tempered with humour and quite a bit of silliness. There’s a line about how someone “Got a very old robot out of storage to walk, very slowly, down a very long corridor” that, in context is giggle-worthy (particularly with the additional knowledge that the Doctor has named the robot ‘Jimbo’) and a bit where the leads meet Isaac Newton and then discuss how hot was (with the Doctor being surprised to realise that recent experiences have turned him just a tiny bit gay).

The Doctor also gets to be the Doctor in this episode- running around, solving mysteries and finding ways to fight monsters. Not fucking victims of a ‘psychedelic sun’ or insect blokes who eventually turn out to be good guys: actual, no-holes-barred, proper Doctor Who monsters! I won’t spoil the solution he eventually hits on, but it’s bombastic and clever and entertaining in a way that literally nothing in The Star Beast was.

Oh, and no spoilers, but the final scene nearly made me cry. In a good way.

Obviously, I have gripes. Well, one gripe. Namely: Sir Isaac ‘Mr. Gravity’, Fuck You Newton was not a mixed-race individual and while colour-blind casting is fine (great, actually) for fictional characters, you can’t just race-swap actual people who actually lived and had identities of their own. The past isn’t just a big dustbin of fun characters and events to be pilfered for content: it’s a series of lives and experiences lived by real, sentient people who, if they had any say in the matter, would probably like to be accurately represented after their deaths. Even in an upbeat work of fiction, the past ought to be treated with a modicum of tact and delicacy; its tropes and ways of being preserved with all their flaws rather than suborned to suit modern audiences. Irreverence is fine: wild inaccuracy isn’t. I’d also like to point out that, if they wanted a non-white physicist in the episode, there are fucking loads of real ones who just aren’t taught in the Western scientific canon. This could have been a good time to introduce wider audiences to, say, Robert Bragg or Arthur B.C. Walker, Jr (who is the only reason we today can observe the sun’s corona accurately enough to get a sense of what it’s fucking doing, by the way). I mean, surely drawing attention to real non-white scientists is much more meaningful than pretending a dude with skin like fucking Savlon wasn’t Caucasian. It’s less attention-grabbing, of course, and it doesn’t virtue-signal as hard, but it’s more meaningfully progressive and actually serves to enlighten and inform viewers.

Okay, that’s out my system now. I would like to stress that I’ve only devoted so much time to that because it’s important to clarify where my objection comes from, lest some cretin completely miss the point and set up a chant of ‘bigot’ (probably misspelled as bigfoot because of the autocorrect on their cunting smartphone) right outside my blog. I often find that the people who object to these false representations publicly are just bigots because decent, progressive people are too bloody scared to point out the real flaws. It’s therefore important, as a progressive, anti-racist person, to raise objections that are actually sane, lest our entire cultural debate descend into a slap-fight between hateful, ill-read fascist micrococks and sanctimonious, reality-denying nutbars. All that being said, not-really-Isaac-Newton is only in Wild Blue Yonder for, like, three minutes, so in terms of the episode itself, it really is a teeny-tiny gripe and shouldn’t in any way ruin anyone’s enjoyment thereof. (EDIT: I actually considered deleting this whole bit, but that felt obscurely like cowardice, so I settled for a rewrite that shortened my original rant considerably).

A more immediately relevant discussion might be why Wild Blue Yonder worked where The Star Beast failed. And no, I don’t think it’s just that Our Russ got laid between script-writing sessions. Have you seen his face nowadays? He looks like a potato receiving an unexpected suppository. Nobody’s into that. No, I suspect the reason Wild Blue Yonder works is the tight focus and small scale. Essentially, its four characters- the protagonists plus two antagonists- on a spaceship, trying to out-think each other. There’s mystery, conflict and an interesting setting to provide context, and that’s all any story really needs. I often find that mistakes and poor writing creep into telly shows and films in proportion to the amount of superfluous shit they give themselves to juggle. I think there needs to be a term for that, so I’m going to coin one: ‘Concept Bloat’. The more extra characters and ideas and elements an individual episode of a TV show has, the more likely one of them is to go wrong, and when one thing goes wrong, a lot of other less-than-optimal stuff is allowed to slide by unchallenged because it looks fine next to the thing that actually went properly, fully wrong. The Star Beast is actually a perfect study of how this happens. The ‘Roth Warriors’ (I have no idea if I’m spelling that correctly, nor do I care) looked rubbish, but their rubbishness was less obvious than it should have been compared to the overall look of the episode’s fictitious London. Meanwhile, the plastic-y version of London probably seemed acceptable in the context of a plot where reversing a star-ship engine can magically heal streets. The magically-healing streets probably seemed fine because they were sharing plot-space with a wheelchair containing a hidden rocket-launcher (to clarify, I have no problem with a wheelchair that can shoot rockets- I just don’t think there’s any way you could make it look like a regular wheelchair). The sheer absurdity of this might well have gone unnoticed because, next to phrases like ‘Male Presenting Time Lord’, stupid tech probably seemed fine. And phrases like ‘Male Presenting Time Lord’ probably seemed acceptable when spoken two minutes after an encounter with a crappy-looking Roth Warrior, bringing us full circle. With a more streamlined set of ideas, it would have been easier to prune out the bad ones, or retool them until they worked. Each individual nugget of crap, however, allowed the crap on either side of it to pass unnoticed and what you ended up with was, well, The Star Beast. In contrast, Wild Blue Yonder is as tight as an XS rubber gimp suit and genuinely brilliant. It does more with less because there was time to hone and polish the less.

So what does this say about the future of the show? In my last review, I implied that the best thing that could happen to Who would be cancellation- a chance for the show to end on a satisfying note rather than change into something it was never designed to be. As much as I love Who, I’ve arrived at that the conclusion that quality alone isn’t the issue. Even if every episode of the next few series ends up being as good as Wild Blue Yonder, it still can’t go on indefinitely- not with any integrity. The best stories in the world are still only truly satisfying in the moment you close the book, having experienced the full, majestic sweep of the narrative and understood what it was saying creatively and philosophically. TV shows aren’t exactly the same, since they’re less singular efforts and don’t have a single story to tell, but even they eventually have to shit or get off the pot, which means actually ending at some point. So yes, I’m glad showrunner RTD has hit his stride with Wild Blue Yonder, but trying to bottle lightning is never going to work reliably and it doesn’t change the fact that, sooner or later, something is going to have to give. So yeah: I’m still at ‘Let Gatwa have his time and then call an end to it’. One good episode- one really fucking good episode- isn’t enough to fix the show’s underlying problem. I mean, it can be a hiatus rather than fullblown cancellation, but Who still needs some kind of break. Sorry.

#doctor who #DW #Tardis #Wild Blue Yonder #The Doctor #10th doctor #14th doctor #secret diary of a fat admirer #secret diary of an fa

[findasongblog]

Find A Song about admitting defeat after having tried very hard to fight your demons for a long time

Jimmy Herrity - Kinder World

You're tired of pretending to be okay, tired of participating so you just take a step back and watch the world go by and realise actually how beautiful everything can be when you just let go a bit.

Kinder World is part 2 in a series called 'Weird Masks & Secret Meetings - a dramatic diary to deal with the aftermath of his elder brother's suicide in April last year, an event which naturally left Jimmy in a lot of pain. 

Added to FAS Spotify playlists singer/songwriter and mental health.

via Musosoup

#music #music blog #indie music #alternative music #singersongwriter #Jimmy Herrity #Kinder World #letting go #indie #alternative #find a song

[vydante]

Restart | Avengers x Male! Reader | 3

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Avengers x Male! Reader (romantically: undecided)

Plot: Dr. Strange said there was only one possibility of winning the battle against Thanos.

But when (Name) is forced into the past and into his younger body, he’s suddenly given the chance to start over and prevent the future from happening again.

So which route are you going to take? Are you going to risk the future and take preventative measures, or live life with the Avengers for the next 4 years, knowing what will soon come?

A/N: Long. Includes Endgame Spoilers.

While you and Tony had a rough few years together- you as a rebellious and reckless child, and Tony as a neglectful and near deadbeat father-, ever since he became Iron Man he had gotten progressively better and more active in your life; with the help of Pepper and occasionally Happy of course.

And ever since you obtained the suit and mantle of Apex, which you've since changed it to just your name in later years, you two have definitely bonded more. Though, you two did have the occasional rough bumps here and there. But they say that fights only made your relationship stronger.

Tony would even dare say that he practically knew you like the back of his hand, especially since you two share the Stark gene.

But now, he's not really sure about that anymore as he watches your hunched figure scribble incessantly over a journal. 

You seemed to not have noticed your father standing in the doorway to your room. You were far too preoccupied with whatever it was that you were writing down to notice, and if you did, you didn't show that you cared.

While this wasn't out of the norm of you to be unaware of your surroundings, it was because you typically had loud music blasting; mainly to annoy your father.

But your room was filled with nothing but your pen scratching against your journal. No music, no TV, no background noise.

That made Tony feel cautious. He could normally tell how you were feeling depending on the genre of music you'd play, but he didn't know what complete silence meant.

Were you angry? 

Tony did yell at you a couple of days ago. You had been especially reckless on the last mission and had nearly gotten crushed by a falling building. Though you both knew you kind of deserved it, you were as hard-headed as your father. You didn't take the reprimand well and had a yelling match that led to Steve and Clint dragging you two apart from each other.

Though you normally didn't hold grudges, you still could.

Maybe that explained the silence?

No, Tony knew that wasn't it. If you were angry, you'd have locked the door. But it was wide opened in the first place.

So what was it?

As Tony kept thinking silently, he hadn't noticed you lean back and stretch. You turned around and saw Tony behind you.

"Jesus-!"

Tony snapped out of it and saw you stare at him with wide surprised eyes. Your eyebrows furrowed as you placed your hand on your chest jokingly.

"Dad, don't stand there like a creep- say something why don't ya'!"

Tony smirked and went towards you. He patted you on the back and sat right next to you on your bed.

"Sorry to scare you champ, just thought I'd give you a moment writing in your diary- or diaries, it seems."

You sent him a smile; one without any malice in it, which unnerved Tony a little bit. You swerved a bit in your swivel chair- you must've gotten a new one just now since he doesn't recognize the new color. Did you get a new desk too?

"What's up pops?"

Tony mocked shivered and rubbed his hands.

"It is so cold up here- how do you not get frostbite from this?"

Tony jests, but in reality, he was trying to see how you would respond to him joking around. If you were still moody, you'd scoff and flip him off like usual. If you weren't, you'd joke back at him.

You raise an eyebrow and stood up. You walked over to your doorway which had the thermostat next to it.

"I swear I turned up the temperature yesterday- is the AC not working?"

While you fiddled with the AC, Tony was confused.

That was not the response he was expecting.

He has known you for nearly your entire life, and not once had you ever changed the temperature on your floor of the tower. It had always been staggeringly cold, but now that Tony thought about it, it wasn't as cold as he had remembered it to be. 

Tony stood up and approached you.

"Hm, no, it says 72 degrees," you muttered quietly.

You jumped when you felt your dad's hand on your shoulder. You turned around and looked at him.

"Hmm?"

Tony had an unreadable expression on.

"(Name), are you feeling okay?"

Your expression clearly said you had no idea what he was talking about. Tony sighed and motioned you to sit down, which you did. He sat down in front of you on your bed once again.

"Is it from that fight a few days ago? I know I can be harsh, but you know that I only want the best for you, right?"

You still had that dumb expression on, if not it was even worse this time. Tony raised an unimpressed eyebrow and waved his hands around. As serious as he wanted to be, the sarcasm had to come through one way or another.

"Y'know. The mission we had. In Washington. You almost got injured badly because you were being dumb. And I yelled at you for it when we got back. Hello- does that not ring a bell to you?"

He was exasperated; he was starting to think that you must have sustained some type of brain damage for you to instantly forget about something as recent as that. You always remembered every single detail, even the ones Tony would rather you forget.

This was concerning if he was being honest.

He thought you might have been at least ticked off from remembering that fight, but all he got was a smile and understanding eyes.

"Oh, that! Yeah, don't worry, I deserved that. Totally."

While your words say that you remembered, your eyes said it loud and clear.

You didn't have a single clue what he was talking about.

Tony didn't know how to respond. But he was just glad that you weren't mad at him. He stood up and you watched him with observing eyes. 

"Anyways," Tony knew there was no point beating a dead horse, so he might as well move on, "What've you been writing these days? Filled up a bunch of journals, huh? Especially with that... Fancy handwriting."

Your shoulders instantly stiffened.

"Oh, that, uh- just some notes for class."

He looked at you, silently asking permission to go through your stuff. Last time he did that without your permission, you nearly tasered him had it not been Clint that intervened.

You scooted away from the desk and let him have a full view of your notes.

Much to his annoyance, it was all in shorthand, something he could surprisingly not read. It wasn't that he can't, he just never bothered to learn. Then again, it might be because this was your one way of keeping a secret from him. In a world where security was getting scarce, he might as well let you have that one thing to yourself- shorthand.

Though, he can say that you definitely wrote a lot- enough to fill a few journals. Granted, there were a lot of pictures and diagrams, and a lot of pages seemed to be ripped out.

The trashcan right next to your desk- when had that been there?- was overflowing with crumpled up paper. He took one last glance at the journals and hummed. He wasn't going to pretend to know what they were about.

"That's a lot. You've been getting yourself busy with studying, huh?"

"Yeah, gotta cram for AP exams, you know?"

Tony lingered a little longer but gave his son a smile. 

"You better not fail, okay?

He didn't say another word as he left your room. You were smiling as you went back to work, unbeknownst to Tony's worried thoughts about you.

"Something's wrong with him, I know it!"

Bruce looked at Tony with an exhausted expression. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe he's just going through a phase or something- he's still a teenager Tony."

Bruce watched as Tony rolled his eyes and pace back and forth. He had been in his section of the lab minding his own business when Tony had busted through in a mild frantic about his son.

"He's gone through many phases before, but they all last around 5 years each! The introvert phase, the Hulk phase," Bruce sighed, knowing that that phase was when you were especially angry at your father, "The emo phase, and now the rebellion phase! He's still got a few more years till the next one comes around- so why's he acting weirdly now?"

"Maybe your theory about that 5-year phase change is wrong?" Bruce offered, but he was only met with another eye roll.

"I'm never wrong- besides, he's my son. I know when he's not being normal."

While Tony and Bruce bickered in the lab- more like Tony ranting about what the new phase is and Bruce reluctantly listening-, a certain super soldier had just so happened to pass by the lab and heard them talking about you.

"What's all this about (Name)?"

Tony spared Steve a glance. 

"Aren't you supposed to be somewhere else? What, did Fury not give you a new mission?"

Steve sent Tony an unimpressed raised eyebrow. Bruce spoke up.

"Tony thinks something's wrong with (Name). Says he's acting weirdly."

"How so?"

"He turned the temperature up. He's never turned the temperature up!" Tony exclaimed. 

Steve leaned against a nearby table and crossed his arms.

"Maybe he's had a change of heart. Can't be that major."

Steve hadn't known you for long, though he already had a general idea as to your personality and habits: you were similar to your father as much as you'd say otherwise. You were also hardheaded and rebellious, which was a bit of a pain when you were sent on missions.

"He also forgot I yelled at him. You should've seen it- he looked like I told him that magic is real!"

Steve looked down and stifled a smile.

Bruce shook his head.

"Maybe he had a concussion." Bruce offered.

Tony pointed his hands at Bruce with an exaggerated expression.

"See? That's what I thought too!"

"J.A.R.V.I.S., get this out of my face."

Just as the live camera footage was once in your face, it quickly left as J.A.R.V.I.S. said a quick 'yes sir'.

While you thought you had put up a good front in front of Tony, you knew he wasn't a fool. Besides, he was just as good as an actor as you were; you both knew something was up with the other.

And while you were glad that he just thought you were going through another phase- hearing Tony mention your 'emo phase' gave you damn near second-hand whiplash- you knew this wasn't ideal.

After finally coming to terms that you had been sent to the past, you didn't know what to do. What you did know, was that you needed to write down what had happened from the new now- 2013- to the old now- 2023- just so you hadn't forgotten.

You're nearly done, but there's just one part of your memory that had escaped you. What had really happened before you were transported to this timeline? There was an explosion, you were stuck, and then... You crushed something...

You shook your head. It didn't matter, for now, it'll come to you eventually.

Thankfully you've never gotten out of the habit of writing in shorthand, so when Tony peered at your journals you had easily played it off as studying for AP exams. Though, you weren't sure which AP exams you even had right now.

Your lips were held in a firm line and your eyes were narrow. 

You were more than conflicted. Should you act how 2013 you would? Or should you try to mold this timeline into a timeline where you all win?

For now, you'll see how it goes.

Few days had past and by now, you were acutely aware that the rest of the Avengers knew something was up with you. Even if they were being subtle, you've known them for longer than they would ever know.

Natasha had been trying to encourage you to talk more, saying how you should know that you shouldn't be afraid to talk to her about things. You did know her for longer than the others; she did introduce herself to you and your father when she went by the name 'Natalie'. Though, you weren't sure if that counted since she was undercover.

Bruce, Clint, and Steve tried to be more like what you interpreted as a father figure to you- not that they weren't trying to do that beforehand, anyway. Though, Clint was especially worse than the others, considering he has children... Not that the Avengers knew of yet.

As for Thor, he didn't hide it that well. He checked up on you more often than usual and lingered around a bit more. You appreciated him trying, but the big guy was starting to get a bit tiresome.

And your father... You had forgotten how annoying he could get when he's worried.

"You want some juice? Maybe milk? Or are you craving for some coffee right now? God knows where we'd be without it."

You sighed and rubbed your head. You had told Tony you wanted your own laboratory on your floor and while it was under construction, you had no choice but to move your work area to the Stark laboratory temporarily. Though, he hadn't stopped bothering you ever since you entered the lab.

"Dad, no, I'm fine-"

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Cold and standoffish. If you remembered correctly, that's how you acted around this time. You winced, not liking the way it came out of your mouth. As much as it pained you to be an asshole to your dad, you needed to get him off of your back.

Tony furrowed his eyebrows.

"(Name)..."

You looked up at him, swiveling your head fast enough to look like a jerk. You frowned and stood up.

"Look, dad, I don't know what you're thinking right now," lie, you do. "But you need to get off my back. I'm fine, okay?"

Your heart aches a little to see your dad frown. You wanted to punch yourself for being an asshole right now. Jeez, how much of a jerk were you when you were actually 17?

"You sure?"

While it wasn't noticeable, you clenched your fist when you heard how smaller he sounded than before. It was slight, but it was there.

"Yeah, whatever."

You turned around to not look at him and sat back down at your table. You wanted to turn around and hug the poor guy. He's done too much for you to be treating him this way, even if you have to.

Tony looked at the back of your head with both worry and relief. While you seemed to be back to normal now, he might've made you angry again.

Both of you sat in the lab silently, an air of awkwardness looms over the both of you.

But neither of you had time to sulk quietly before Steve stormed through the lab. You snapped your head at him with wide eyes. He had his shield on his back while wearing his uniform- that obnoxious blue suit would've made you laugh but this was serious.

"Tony, (Name)-" he looks at you with a hard expression, "We have another mission. Suit up."

Masterlist

#avengers #avengers x male reader #avengers x male! reader #avengers: endgame #marvel #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x male! reader #spiderman x male reader #spiderman x male! reader #male reader #male reader insert #tony stark #tony stark x male reader #tony stark x male! reader #tony stark x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x male reader #steve rogers x reader #thor #thor x male reader #thor x reader #male!reader #bucky barnes #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes x male reader #avengers: endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #avengers endgame spoilers

[esther-dot]

Sansa Stark’s Definition of Leisure

Day 6, leisure @jonsaspringblossoms

Eventually his behavior had caused an argument, their first fight since he had returned, and gods, did he love it.

Sansa's eyes darkened, her anger filled the room even without her saying a word. She drew herself up to her full height and with the furs she wore, he momentarily felt dwarfed by her. 

 "I want you in those meetings." She stated, her anger making him feel an unstated "or else" hovering nearby.

 "And I don't wish to go." 

 "Is this about who your bloody father was? It doesn't matter which man impregnated which woman, we both know my father was your fa--"

 "No." He couldn't let her say that. That was the one thing she mustn't say or think. "I am not a Stark. It isn't right for me to pass judgement or offer my opinion."

 "You are a Stark to me." What should have been a heartwarming declaration was instead shouted into his face with all of Sansa's pent up frustration over months of trying to get him to do something, anything.

 He had shaken his head, unable or unwilling to express his thoughts, and Sansa stood panting, her fury abating, slowly, and noticing how close they stood, she stepped away.

 Instead of pushing them apart, their arguments inevitably lead them closer to each other, drawn in as if their words were clawing away at what was between them because they did not want anything but the two of them to remain.

 They formed an island in their anger, their arguments creating a place where there was nothing but them, until they stopped, remembered who and what they were, and stepped away from each other. Their vehemence filled something in him that had felt empty, the craving for Sansa that her controlled, polite interactions could never satisfy.

 And that was what she had been, his doses of her strictly the measured offerings of a Lady to a Lord. Before the war, when they first head the news, she had told him that no one need ever know about his parentage. They could keep it secret, allow him to hold onto that last thread connecting him to the Starks. She paused, staring at him that night before the war began, “Either way, Jon, heir to the throne or bastard half-brother, you are a Stark to me.”

 He was entertaining the Dragon Queen, keeping her happy until they no longer needed her dragons or her armies, and he could not possibly explain his feelings to Sansa while bedding another woman. Yet, he knew he could not remain what he was if he ever intended to, so he kissed Sansa’s hands, shook his head, defeated the white walkers, and won Daenerys her throne in exchange for being acknowledged as a Targaryen bastard. He burned the Septon's diary, the only proof of his claim. Daenerys was not pleased when he refused to continue their relationship, but she had her throne, so she permitted him to go home.

 His newly discovered hereditary could not change what Winterfell was to him, although his home had changed anyway. Bran talked to birds or ran the world, Jon never knew which at any given moment, and Arya came and went on adventures, Gendry always in tow. The man was sickeningly besotted. Of course, the one-time Jon said so to Gendry, he had merely raised a knowing eyebrow at Jon, making Jon wish he had not brought up the topic at all. He wished it even more fervently when Gendry called Arya over to the fire and they proceeded to make each other laugh with examples of Jon's love for Sansa, which was apparently, not much of a secret at all. Thankfully, they left on another trip soon, leaving Jon, his secret, and Sansa behind in Winterfell.

 Sansa was Wardeness of the North, his other stipulation, and while Jon found he had little to do, Sansa had the opposite problem. Since he had left Winterfell as a green boy, he had known nothing but danger and killing. He had not realized how accustomed he became to the fighting until the wars were ended, and he stood in the Winterfell courtyard, with no one left to fight. He was at a loss at what to do with himself, except brood over how little he saw her.

 Even though they lived in the same castle, Sansa was perpetually busy, never loitering or unoccupied long enough for a walk or ride, for sitting by the fire to reminisce with him or laugh over childhood stories. The redistribution of food, the rebuilding, the renegotiation of titles and lands, she was never not doing something. In his sullenest moments, Jon thought it was almost like when they were children, both existing within the same walls, but not living in the same world. 

 It was not like that at all, not really, because if Sansa did see him, on the way from one destination to the next, she smiled. Sometimes she even stretched out a hand to touch his arm, just to assure herself he was there. She offered to entreat the Queen to give him some title or land, and he tried to look less pained as he rejected the idea. "My place is here." He would say, refusing every offer without discussion.

 Sansa suggested he could be her advisor, but Jon shook his head. He was afraid his presence, as former king, would diminish her standing before the Lords. So, he thanked her before drifting away, too busy himself with bemoaning the fact that he was of no use. Sansa summoned him on occasion, in spite of his refusals, to have him present in the meetings so he might offer an opinion later, in private. He went, always acutely uncomfortable with his unidentifiable role and place.

 So now they fought, not that he wanted to, but he did enjoy it.

 When Sansa forgot herself, he fell under a cascade of her real self and his self that he struggled to face. Anytime, every time they argued, it felt like falling under water, or being covered over in snow, or standing on the wall, surrounded by the roar of frigid winds. He was pushed beyond his strength to resist, buried in feelings he could not control, and whatever it was they drowned in, it tasted sweet to him.

 "I don't know what you want, Jon. I can't convince you to do anything but fight in the training yard, visit the crypts, pray in the godswoods. You sit with Bran or drink by the fire. Tell me what you want, I'll give it to you. I want you to be happy."

 "I only ever accepted being King in the North to fight the dead. I don't want power."

 "And you think that's what I want? You think that after everything we've been through together, I want power and I'm trying to drag you into my corrupt, broken world?"

 Jon shook his head no, but he did not speak. He could not explain without giving himself away. 

 Sansa's chest rose and fell, her composure reclaimed with each breath until she finally regained control of herself.

 "Starks do not have the luxury of living a life of idleness. Power means responsibility and that means work, not for our own gain but for others. That's what I'm trying to offer you, Jon. Not entanglements in disputes for preserving power, but the good that might come from it. That's what Starks do."

 He was matching her, breath for breath without intending to, not catching her meaning in his determination to convince her of his. "I'm not a Stark." He said again, quietly, fervently, needing her to accept it, to understand what he could not bring himself to say, but what flickered in her eyes was only rejection. 

 She let him be for days, a week, two weeks, giving him even more time to dwell on his misfortunes which seemed to grow each time he thought of them: Son but not to his father, half-brother but not to his siblings, heir but not to Winterfell. 

 Everything he had loved was taken with the revelation of his parentage, and he had been repulsed by the one thing he could have won from it, the throne. But that was not the entirety of it. No, sometimes during feasts when he drank just the right amount of ale and his eyes lingered too long on his cousin dancing with Northern Lords, he was accidentally honest with himself, and on those occasions, he knew that what he had lost was not what made him ache, that being a cousin rather than brother was not what made him feel alone. 

 He sighed into his cup, told himself to look away and was surprised when he realized his eyes had not obeyed. Sansa was in the arms of a handsome Lord who had never been a bastard or bent the knee or been her brother, and yet her eyes strayed from his and met Jon's. Music and laughter and conversation did not falter, the movements of the dancers did not slow, but once, twice, thrice while another man held her, she looked at Jon. First, she was laughing, then she was thoughtful, and then, she had a small smile that Jon could not identify. He was afraid he had given himself away, and he determined to leave, but just like his eyes, his legs refused to listen.

 The next morning, still dull from the late night and ale, Jon was befuddled by the commotion at his door, and was certain he was having a strange dream when Sansa marched in, her grey dress and leather belt discarded for clothes that might have been a maid's, coarse brownish material that still could not diminish her beauty, and he must have said something along those lines in his stupefied state because she blushed and waved a hand at the guard to dismiss him. "You need to dress in simple clothes and come with me."

 Jon sat up, rubbing his face, his feet finding the floor, "And where are we going?"

 "We are going to have a day of leisure." 

 "I didn't know you knew what that was."

 "You can sit on your bed and try to make quips, or you can come with me and see if I do."

 Jon should not have been surprised that Sansa's version of a leisurely day was not at all what the word implied. She insisted no guards were necessary, but then she also insisted Jon leave Longclaw on his horse with a squire standing by. Jon was not pleased, but he did not verbalize his objection. They dismounted in Wintertown where they bought bread and pies and cakes from the stores, more than they had any use for since their cook made their own, but bearing their burdens they made their way to the refugee encampment, and there Sansa was welcomed with a familiarity that indicated this was not her first or third or fifth visit. Jon had never known her to disappear from Winterfell for hours, but watching her, he couldn't be surprised that she had. 

 She had told him of those that starved in King's Landing, of what had nearly become of her, and she had determined to never let that happen to her people, to never let them starve, never let desperation make them become less than human. 

 She dropped kisses to little faces, motioned for Jon to offer cakes to the children instead of stupidly standing there admiring her. She gave bread to the parents, and the murmur that rose up around them, the worshipful way they received the gifts, Jon couldn't help but feel a new level of devotion stir within him as well. 

 The spring thaw was upon them, their heavy furs abandoned with the long night, and the light breeze that wandered among the encampment painted Sansa’s cheeks a ruddy color, transforming her from the stoic Lady of Winterfell into a young woman again. He turned away, afraid that tears would come to his eyes at the sight of her joy, the sound of her laughter.

 Men were striking tents and moving them to less muddy ground, so as soon as his hands were empty, Jon went to help them. Sansa was among the children, laughing as they chased each other. He turned back to his work and was soon covered in more than his share of the grime.

 Sansa found him eventually, only slightly less dirty than he, "What happened to you?" he asked, trying to not smile too broadly. 

 "You aren't a pretty sight either, Jon" Sansa replied, unashamed. "Come, let's eat." 

 He had thought, and foolishly hoped, they would sneak away for a private meal, instead Sansa led him to a fire to join other who were eating as well. Sitting in the same dirt, eating from the same pot, laughing at the same jokes as the others; Jon was struck at Sansa's ease with such people, her courtesy and grace allowing her to be as happily situated among them as she had been among Lords and Ladies. The experience was strange, familiar, it brought back memories of life among the Wildlings, but not at all alike, for this was not a war party, they had no weapons, no lands to reclaim, they simply wanted to live. 

 Sansa sat beside him in the dirt, happily discussing how she was working to fund her pet project, new homes. He felt ill that she had been trying to include him in her work and he had been so intent on his own identity, his role, and what it did or didn't mean that he had neglected to understand anything she had been trying to tell him. The sounds of the camp rose up around him and he tried to pull himself to the present, he looked at Sansa. He wanted to stay there in the present and stop moping about the past. 

 Eventually, she rose, he scrambled up after her, and they left the encampment. They rode slowly toward Winterfell, the squire sent on ahead, Sansa allowing her mare to graze if she chose, saunter at her own pace, and Jon found himself speaking without thought, "Seeing you like this--" he stopped, but knew he would have to finish his sentence, he'd gone too far to leave it unfinished. "You were as happy among refugees as among Lords and Ladies." He waited, then forced himself to say it, "You are always beautiful, but today, you were radiant."

 He expected embarrassment, a sweet murmur accepting his clumsily expressed compliment. He was totally unprepared for ladylike Sansa to shout with laughter. Not just one abrupt bellow, but continuous contortions of merriment that she clearly could not contain. She reigned in her mare, dismounted, still laughing, and clasped her hands to her stomach. "Only you! Only you would accompany me to feed the starving and eat boiled potatoes and wallow in filth and walk away thinking about how beautiful I am!" 

 Jon told himself not to sulk, sulking was childish, he was not a child, but Sansa was laughing at his earnest sentiment, and that made him feel like a child again.

 He spent so much time in battle, so many days and nights killing in order to preserve life, and yet he had become distanced from it. Today he faced it again, Sansa had brought him with her to embrace it. 

 And without her saying, he knew she was instructing him, telling him that his disdain for ruling was because he misunderstood what it could do, even if there was no war at hand. This was what power was for. The only moral pleasure to be found in it, the ability to do good. 

 He was off his horse before he knew it, kneeling before her in the dirt, she was not laughing but smiling, "Sansa, I--"

 Her hands touched his beard, the feel of her fingers softly scratching against his skin left him mute, "I know, Jon. The Freefolk are not so different than the Northerners, the Southerners not our enemy, Targaryen is now yet another house brought low by war. Even though we fight and feud, we are all so much alike. Lady and bastard, you and I, we are not so different."

 He swallowed, "I'll attend the meetings, I'll be sociable with the Lords, I'll stop brooding, I'll--"

 She leaned forward, her forehead to his, "You and I both know that last promise is one you can't keep." She buried her smile in his shoulder as he stood and held her. "I'll work with you, Sansa. Whatever you want, we'll do it together, even your version of 'leisure' activities."

 "Well, we can always negotiate what those will be after the wedding."

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jonsa ff #jonsaspringblossoms

[simblr-outfitters-blog1]

The Find Large Files on Windows Diaries

Whatever They Told You About Find Large Files on Windows Is Dead Wrong...And Here's Why

Windows will automatically begin trying to find all files that are larger than one megabyte. Windows 10 includes several improved settings that let you to readily identify what's taking up your hard disk, so you're able to carry out a thorough manual disk cleanup. Windows 10 has a storage usage tool which may assist you in some instances. Actually, you will need to restart Windows for it to commence utilizing the new value for its very own temporary files.

Whispered Find Large Files on Windows Secrets

EDIT You are trying to discover a very simple method to transfer files WITHOUT affecting the caliber of the remote connection. When you unzip the file, you will find a file called hg38.fa. After it's completed, the exported files will be kept in a folder named AnyTrans-Export-2019-XX-XX. It isn't useful if a person would like to obtain the largest 10 files in a folder. To put in a folder to the index, click the Modify button then choose the folder you'd love to get indexed. Since you may see, it's simple enough to transfer files from iPad to PC. It's well worth mentioning your Hibernation file is likely going to appear large (3GB 16GB). 

Find Large Files on Windows for Dummies

On Android, you'll be in a position to see and send nearly any file you want on your device. In reality, you will find out files of any size utilizing the built-in search. For example, you can all files greater than one GB or 2 GB in proportion. Joining files together is at least as painless and easy. It's possible to use 7-zip to unzip the file, or another tool you want. Navigate to the drive or folder in which you wish to seek out large files. Copying a huge file throughout the network will get the source machine to become unresponsive. 

It's still true that you need the file but don't necessarily need to get it handy. Knowing where to place the wildcards and the way to obtain the attributes and child nodes to find the info you want out of your XML files takes multiple attempts and plenty of trial and error. If your files disappear, it's a lot easier to recover them should you know the best place to look. Therefore, before you transfer any files, you're ALREADY transferring lots of information in 1 direction. The very first approach to locate huge files is with File Explorer. Imagine finding your Web website is unresponsive because you made a decision to copy a massive transaction file from the server.

All About Find Large Files on Windows

The option to eliminate the item from the list gives a chance to value the outcomes of deleting it. There are a lot of different choices for Android users, but Feem is still the best option on Windows Phone. There are some additional handy options in Advanced such as finding duplicate files and a detailed reporting process is available that could export the data to quite a few formats. The default settings for File History aren't the very best for everyone. Then it provides you with the option to eliminate duplicates. There are lots of other alternatives available, including the capability to use the ftp protocol too. No matter the sort of files you need to transfer, wherever you would like to transfer to, iMobie AnyTrans for iOS can assist you in making it easily and quickly! Not having the ability to locate a file is among the biggest frustrations you can have with a computer. It is possible to find out more about it using its built-in assistance. 

Just because it may be taking up lots of space, you should check first that it is not part of the system that could give rise to a problem if you remove something which's necessary for running find large files on windows. Another remedy is to recover a number of the space that is presently used by File History. You are able to scan and visualize your disk space utilizing the free model of TreeSize free of issue. 

Since the extent of a difficult drive is restricted, the drive has to be maintained from time to time in order to avoid low disk space issue on the computer. If you select Sort by size, you will notice apps which take up most space on top. Folder Size is a little disk analysis utility that has also portable version that does not need installation. 

If you just want to study your C drive, choose the C drive instead. If you would like to search the whole hard disk, open Computer. To utilize File History, you must plug in an external hard disk or a sizable USB memory stick with lots of free space on it. 

If there's absolutely no usable storage drive found, the window should appear like the screenshot below. If you've got more than one drive to scan they may be selected on startup by highlighting which ones that you want. You've got a brand-new high-capacity flash drive that could store more than the hard disk of your initial 3 computers combined, but if you go to copy a huge file it denies you

#findlargefiles