Four of my pieces for my AP 2D design portfolio based on the theme Highschool (Senior Year)
the traditional “end of the year folder cleanout.”
peace out senior year
Heyy!! I was wondering if there are any people here working on their college application for the 2021 season. If there’s anybody here, please feel free to message me, we can work it out together. It’ll make the process a lot easier when we have people checking on us and pushing us.
instead of doing the homework I’m freaking out about I’m on tumblr slowly falling into insanity as my work piles up
ah the time has come,
our songs are gonna hit a bit different huh?
days are gonna end with the question “is that it?”
the months will fly by
all weighing on the big picture
did i live it well
did i spend it well
did i say farewell to childhood well
or will i regret it
we won’t know till we get there i guess
You surprised me more times than I could count. Whether it was good or bad, I was always surprised. When I switched from a private school to a public school, I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I braced myself for the worst. But I was welcomed with open arms by both my teachers and my peers.
From all the small things, like the college and career fair to the extra time I had for myself to the community college reps that were always there to the people I met. All of these led to much bigger things. I found a wonderful program and a career I want to pursue at that fair. I was able to start volunteering again because of the extra time and minimal homework I was given. I was able to find out about a program at my college because of all the reps, and I got into two of them. Everyone I met treated me well, from my friend group to the people in GSA to the students in my classes, they all showed me that not everyone in out to hurt me
My teachers were amazing. They didn’t have to give me anything, yet they gave me everything and more. Much more than I could ever thank them for. I got my 504 plan back because of my english teacher, and I’m in on disability at my college because of her. She could’ve given up on me the first week of school, but she kept trying, kept getting to know me. My econ teacher gave me extra assignments so I would understand the lessons, and he talked to me before every class. My anatomy teacher taught me extra lessons and encouraged my interests.
My friends. I don’t even know where to start with them. They were the best thing to happen to me, I don’t know what I would’ve done without them. They were so patient with me, they never made me feel unsafe. They showed me what friendship should look like and I’ll always be grateful for them.
It wasn’t all good though. One time there were fires so bad, my school closed down for two days because it was unsafe to be there with all the smoke.
Back in november, there was a school shooting that turned my entire world upside down. Even six months later, I still feel the effects of that day. I’m afraid of sudden noises if they sound similar to gunshots, I was still always on edge at school. The thought of what could’ve been if it had been me and not them that had died, wondering who I would die for if it happened in my class. Wondering if anyone would die for me.
And now a pandemic that’s robbed me of my last few months of the only school that’s ever made me feel like I belong. Like I’m not a waste of space. If I knew march 13th would be my last day of high school, my last day with my friends, I would’ve savored it more. I would’ve taken in everything one last time, gone to boba with my friends, thanked my teachers in person. There’s so much I would’ve done that I’ll never get to do now.
But even knowing what I know now, there’s nothing I would change. No matter how horrible things got, I kept getting back up, something I never would’ve been able to do a year ago. Coming to this school has changed me for the better. I only wish I had more time. More time with my teachers, with my friends, with my classmates, with this school where I feel at home. I’ve been to so many schools throughout the years, but none of them I could truly call my school like I can with this one. I’m so grateful for everything I was offered. I’ll still mourn the experiences I never had, but I’ll treasure the ones I did have.
To my senior year, you were nothing like I pictured. In some ways you were much better, in others you were much worse. But as I move on and start college, I’ll always remember my senior year as my best high school year
It was a year of change. My junior year had ended with the death of my father. And with a mother already gone, where was I to go? I didn’t want to leave my friends. But my grandmother, who had raised me prior to me moving with my dad…(long story), was adamant that I move back with her. And so I did. Which meant switching to a super white high school. I remembered some of the people from middle school. But back then three years was like a lifetime, and I didn’t really vibe with anyone.
My grandmother was grieving hard over my dad’s death. And she was hell bent on projecting that pain onto me. I was in a new school getting good grades. I also had a job at the local grocery store. But it seemed nothing I did was right. She would tear me down every chance she got. She wouldn’t stop until she saw tears. So I spent most of my free time out of the house. She didn’t realize that I was grieving over the loss of my father too. Or she didn’t care. It went so far as her telling me that I stressed my own father to death.
My boyfriend decided that it would be best if I moved with him and his parents. He had talked to them and they agreed that I should leave my grandmother’s house. And I love his parents til this day for all they did for me. They took custody of me, transferred me back into my high school and truly became my parents. They supported me through everything my senior year of high school. They loved me like I was one of their own. This was a huge change for me. I had never fully experienced having a parent, parent me. And it was one of the most warming experiences.
At first it was the greatest thing. I was seventeen and living with my boyfriend! I was on cloud nine. I went to school looking fly. I joined the cheerleading squad with my bestie. I got chosen for select choir, the choraliers. I had also gotten accepted into Rutger’s University. Everything was going according to plan. But I was unprepared for the mountain piling up inside of me. I was so busy doing everything, I wasn’t acknowledging what was going on subconsciously.
During all of this change, I had never dealt with or ever grieved over losing my dad. I didn’t externally acknowledge how I felt about losing him. And because I wasn’t acknowledging them, I wasn’t talking about my feelings to anyone. With my acceptance letter, I felt the weight of the world crashing down on me. I had dealt with all the changes that had come over the year. I was on auto pilot and didn’t see the fear creeping in, or the mounting pile of emotion.
Right after graduation, I fell into a deep depression. I spent the entire summer laying in bed. My boyfriend would come home from work with Wawa hoagies, because he knew that I had not eaten the entire day. I laid in that bed and let August pass me right on by without much thought. I needed help because I didn’t know what to do after I received my acceptance letter. I didn’t know who to ask, and was embarrassed that I had to even ask for help. I told myself I wasn’t going to college because I didn’t want to leave my boyfriend. I laid in that bed until the depressive episode ended, and then proceeded to ruin my life.
****brought to you by…watching all four seasons of Insecure in two days. And realizing I could have had a circle of friends like that and similar successes had I gone to college.****
So like 2020 is not my year…………….
My county really be doing their best to celebrate the class of 2020 with all this social distancing. There I am on my local newspaper. I know it’s been super hard the past few months but I really appreciate everything my school is trying to do for us seniors.
today someone claimed the google locations card of my school
“barracks beilngries — military board”, open 24 hours and 1-2am on fridays, one review saying “best casern. instructors top!”, the website button redirects to the webpage of the german bundeswehr, the added photos are —
MY PSYCH PROFESSOR GVE ME AN A- ON MY INTRODUCTION OMG I’ve been so stressed about this all week to the point I didn’t even notice she’d graded it bc I thought the A- was from my community psych professor instead. I’ve been struggling with self-doubt and feeling stupid all week after I got a D on my first discussion. This is my senior seminar course so it’s a huge deal for me to do well. I’d resigned myself to accepting a bad grade if that’s what it came down to bc I’ll still graduate but ahhh I’m so happy and feel like 10,000 pounds have been lifted off my shoulders.
“If you submit a spreadsheet I will shoot you”
-Greek History Prof
so I have a little bit over 2 weeks left of school and a little bit over 1 week to finish assignments and catch up in classes. I still have to read approxiamately 2 books and work on 2 research assignments. Tomorrow is my AP Stats exam wich is the hardest thing, in my opinion, I have to do. After that its just play catch up and hope my grades don’t completely go to shit. Today I have a book talk and I should do some practice problems for tomorrow. Afterwards I can work on catching up in one class or filming a video for my Drama class. Over the weekend I will catch up on the work I need to do and start on my physics essay and presentation. The research is fairly simple and if I get stuck I can call my brother. I can listen to the audiobook version of Brave New World while taking breaks. The video is a little bit over 7 hours long but if I speed it up it will take less than that. I should be able to get the book done in 3 or 4 days then all I have to do is read one more book. After that I need to work on my Time Capsule. I should work on it this weekend when I’m not catching up. It’s due in a little bit over a week. The time capsule will probably be the hardest so I should prioritize it over physics but not over stats. But I also left some of the easiest prompts to write about, most are about music. Once the time capsule is done I will need to work on my time capsule speech and film myself dilivering it, but this time the speech won’t be memorized. I only have 5 items left and 1 is the letter written by friends that leaves 4 left and 1 is me writing my ideal concert which isn’t hard. The only unknow in Economics. I still have to catch up and don’t know what the final will be but hopefully we get it on Monday. It should only take me 1 or 2 days to catch up in that class then I’m all good. I have a little bit over 2 weeks of school left then this is all over… wait it’s Thursday so I have exactly 2 weeks left. If I follow this timeline I will be able to get all my work done and turned in on time. I just have to not slack. This is going to be easier that I thought. After tomorrow I won’t have to worry about AP exams, after tomorrow it’s all about catching up and bringing up my grade. I can do this. I will be able to graduate.
How was I supposed to know?
How was I supposed to know that it would be my last day, March 13th
How was I supposed to know that my “love you, bye”
My “see you on monday”
My lunch table jokes with friends,
My band class
My hugs and laughs and smiles
How was I supposed to know it was the last one?
How was I supposed to know that my senior year would be wiped away,
That my 4 years was a book with the last few pages ripped out,
My teachers, classes, friends,
The smell of the band room and the sound of sneakers on linoleum
The morning announcements and the resource times
The hallway crowds and the overheard conversations
The tapping of fingers on desks and pencils on paper
How was I supposed to know it was the last one?
How was I supposed to know that my life would be turned upside down,
The learning virtual,
The graduation cancelled,
The prom at home,
The friends 6 feet away,
The stores closed,
The year ruined by a plague
How was I supposed to know?
Graduation shouldn’t be sad,
Pomp and Circumstance shouldn’t bring tears to my eyes,
My cap and gown shouldn’t make me feel angry.
I should’ve gotten a grad walk,
To see the smiles on my teacher’s faces,
The teachers who helped me and watched me grow,
And the smiles of the children who would someday be in my shoes.
I should have been at school, anxious to pick up my cap and gown,
The halls excitedly buzzing with laughter and joy,
The beginning of summer heat signaling 12 years well done.
I should’ve made memories with my friends,
Had a “last” for everything, while knowing it was my last one.
I should’ve had a final homeroom, a send-off for my 4 years,
I should’ve gotten to wear my marching band uniform one more time.
I should’ve gotten to say goodbye.
I should have had a senior year to remember,
And not because of a pandemic.
I should have accepted my scholarship with pride,
Competed at my final national tournament,
And danced the night away at prom.
I should’ve walked that stage, heard the valedictorian speak,
And moved my tassel in unison with my peers.
I should’ve accepted my diploma, pride in my teacher’s eyes
Given my friends a big hug, all of us in our maroon gowns
Maybe wiped away a few tears,
But not from sadness.
We should’ve had the 2020 of our dreams,
not of our nightmares.