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helenawrites23 · 30 days

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The Way of The Sword (Chapter 1)

18+. 3.5k, half-sibling incest, age difference, trust issues, self-steem issues, heavy flirting, relationship negotiation, making out, unresolved sexual tension, canon-typical violence. part 1/?. AO3 link, part 2, part 3. Let me know if you want to be tagged!

The search for Naraku might be over, but Inuyasha hasn't escaped his past. He drags it around like a ball and chain. Then he crosses paths with his half-brother again, and learns how to let go.

In which Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru go training together, and reach an arrangement of sorts.

Although suitably scenic, the walk to the designated place felt like the longest Inuyasha had taken in his life.

He could feel neither youkai nor humans around. For the first time in quite some time, he was surrounded by nothing but nature and the occasional critter. Once, he would have welcomed the solitude. Inuyasha had never been much of a social creature, despite Kagome's adamant attempts to change that aspect of his nature. Now that she was gone, he found the silence terribly aggravating.

The clearing was difficult to spot. It was far from the roads and secluded in a way that seemed deliberate. The privacy of the setting added to his unease. Complex social situations had never been his forte, and in his book, this was the strangest he'd come across in quite some time. Perhaps ever.

Sesshoumaru's arrival was announced by a shift in the atmosphere. A distinctive electrical smell flooded the clearing as if a storm were approaching. Inuyasha's hair stood on end. He took a deep breath, fighting down the instinctive responses that his half-brother never failed to awaken in him. Daiyoukai could smell that sort of thing, and he didn't feel like making a fool out of himself today.

Inuyasha took a seat on a nearby rock and waited.

Eventually, Sesshoumaru walked out of the foliage, nonchalance painting his every move. Inuyasha stood up and put his hands in his pockets, trying to match his half-brother's energy. Internally, he was trying not to fidget. It still wasn't entirely clear to him what this meeting was about. He thought he had an idea. Double guessing himself was one of Inuyasha's bad habits, though, and one never knew when it came to the Lord of the West.

There was the chance that this would end in broken bones and unnecessary bloodshed, the way it did back in the day. It could also very well be another of Sesshoumaru's psychotic mind games. Although in recent times they'd seemed to reach some type of understanding, Inuyasha knew better than anyone how unpredictable his half-brother could be.

Sesshoumaru showed no outward signs of aggressiveness. Of course, to say that his expression was amiable or welcoming in any way would have been a gross exaggeration. There was, however, an obvious absence of glaring, which was already an improvement from previous interactions.

“This is unexpected,” Sesshoumaru said. “I did not think you'd be so punctual.”

Inuyasha felt his face heat up at the remark. Some of the tension left his body, though.

With time, he had learned to identify the subtle signs that gave away his half-brother's unstable moods. Although teasing, Sesshoumaru's voice betrayed no anger. There was that softness around his eyes that meant he was pleased.

“Khe, y’know me. Always full of surprises,” Inuyasha replied. “‘sides, I like to keep you on your toes.”

“Mmm, you certainly try.”

“So, are we doing this? Or did you make me walk all the way down here just for a chit-chat?” Inuyasha asked, casually unsheathing his sword.

Sesshoumaru was usually not affronted by his bluntness. That was something Inuyasha liked about him. Of course, he was a snob in every sense of the word, but more often than not Sesshoumaru was willing to indulge his boorish behaviors if only to maintain a semblance of peace between the two. Why ever his former nemesis would want to keep things civil between them when they'd always been anything but, Inuyasha wasn't sure. He figured he'd find out if he stuck around long enough.

“I see we are off to a bad start,” Sesshoumaru pointed out.

He didn't draw out his sword, as Inuyasha expected him to. Instead, Sesshoumaru stepped closer, seemingly unconcerned by Tessaiga's proximity. He reached towards the handle of the weapon, covering Inuyasha's hands with his own. The touch was light but insistent. After a moment's hesitation, Inuyasha slacked his grip, allowing his wrists to be maneuvered so that the sword was parallel to the ground. Sesshoumaru placed Inuyasha's right hand firmly on top of the handle, then moved the left one to the bottom.

“That's how you properly hold a sword,” he said. Inuyasha could feel a faint heat spreading down his throat. He was very aware of Sesshoumaru's eyes trained on his face, but couldn't make himself look up. “Keep a grip that's firm enough so that it doesn't slip, but loose enough so you can easily maneuver it.”

“Right. Sounds like a no-brainer.”

“And yet you've been getting it wrong all this time.”

“Oh, fuck off. I knew you'd be an asshole about this.”

When Sesshoumaru first offered to help him polish his technique with the sword, Inuyasha hadn't been sure whether or not it was a joke. The invitation had been quite rude and nothing short of condescending, which gave room to doubt. Yet here they were, and a part of Inuyasha was still expecting his brother to burst out laughing and call it a day. If Sesshoumaru was amused by the situation in any way, he was quite adept at not showing it, though. He seemed neither anxious nor unsure, as if this were just something they did every day.

“Your posture is wrong,” Sesshoumaru said. Without warning, he used his leg to push Inuyasha's feet further apart. “A wide stance makes keeping your balance easier.”

Inuyasha felt a shiver run through him. He was first and foremost a creature of instinct, and being this close to his half-brother had never brought him anything but pain. His gut reaction was to back away. There was something more to it, though. A nagging feeling at the back of his head told him that these touches were not casual. This blatant disregard for personal space was intentional and increasing.

Behind Sesshoumaru’s steady gaze laid an invitation, yet to be spoken. As if he were testing the waters, so to speak, while hiding his intentions behind elaborate excuses. It frustrated Inuyasha to no end. He almost felt like kicking him back. Reluctant as he was to start a physical confrontation today, he went for his next best weapon.

“Hey, hey, careful now,” he said, side-eyeing his brother. “I know I'm quite the catch, but let's not get handsy.”

Sesshoumaru gave him the most unimpressed look he'd ever witnessed in his life.

“Why, I would never,” he replied.

Rationally, Inuyasha knew that nowadays his half-brother had little to no reason to hurt him. Still, there were times he couldn't quite shake off the feeling that he wasn't safe around Sesshoumaru. That there were, perhaps, ulterior motives to this unexpected offer of camaraderie. For the most part, he tried not to let it show. It seemed petty, in a way. As if he were hanging onto resentment while Sesshoumaru, of all people, kept holding his hand out to him.

The whole thing turned out to be a tedious affair. Part of him had hoped for nothing more than a friendly match. It didn't seem like Sesshoumaru was about to entertain that idea, though. He was clearly much more preoccupied with Inuyasha's pitiful stance and the sorry state of his blade. Inuyasha couldn't help but feel a bit affronted.

He thought he'd learned the way of the sword remarkably well, for someone who'd never had a mentor.

Afterward, they sat together by the banks of a nearby river. The day had morphed into a breezy afternoon, and the sound of rustling leaves and water flowing filled the air.

“Ah. A tengu spirit?”

“Yeah, one of those ugly fuckers.”

Inuyasha shifted to lie on his side, pulling out a piece of grass that had gotten into his ear.

“Is that how you spend your time now?” Sesshoumaru asked, looking down at him from the large stone he'd claimed by the riverside. “Guarding little human villages against filthy critters? How pitiful.”

“Whatever. Keeps me in shape and it's not like it's hard,” Inuyasha replied. “And who are you to trash on my past times? Only thing you do when I'm not around is brood and hang out with an eight-year-old. If anyone's lame here, I can assure you it's not me.”

“I stand corrected, then.”

“Sure you do, asshole. Anyway, it was a big ol' fucker,” Inuyasha continued, unbothered by the interruption. “And I knew they were ugly, yaknow, but goddamn, this one was on a whole other level. Really gave me the creeps. It was just for show, though. Didn’t give too much of a fight.”

“Tengu rarely make for worthy opponents,” Sesshoumaru conceded. “Not all enemies are so easily defeated, though.”

Something in Sesshoumaru's voice made Inuyasha look up.

Not too long ago, he wouldn't have been able to tell that anything was amiss. His half-brother was hard to read as a general rule, and Inuyasha was admittedly quite slow on the uptake when people didn't speak straight to him. Subtlety wasn't a virtue of his. They'd been spending quite some time together as of late, though, and the shift in Sesshoumaru’s demeanor was evident to him.

“What will happen when it's not a filthy crow chasing after you, but a proper Daiyoukai?”

Sesshoumaru was clearly not smiling. There was certainly a quiet, predatory edge to his expression though, and Inuyasha wasn't sure what to make of it. He suddenly got the impression that there was something he was missing.

“What you mean?”

Sesshoumaru seemed to carefully consider his next words.

“I mean to say that, for a hanyou, you are a fairly decent warrior." Sesshoumaru managed not to sound condescending, just barely. “But if you are ever to face off a true Daiyoukai, that will not help you. Some levels cannot be reached without proper training.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Inuyasha said, hackles rising.

It occurred to him, for a moment, that Sesshoumaru was trying to pick up a fight. His brother did not rise to the challenge, though. He merely looked down at Inuyasha’s thunderous expression and chuckled. He looked irritated, but almost in a fond way. As if he wanted to be mad at Inuyasha, but couldn't quite manage.

“You've never had a proper mentor,” Sesshoumaru said. It was not a question. “One can tell from miles away.”

“Well, duh,” Inuyasha replied, crunching his nose. “Who would I ask, dumbass?”

“That is quite unusual, for youkai your age.”

“Yeah, well, you said it.” Inuyasha shrugged, settling back down on the grass. “For youkai.”

Sesshoumaru did not reply. Whatever he'd been trying to convey, he seemingly decided it was not worth the trouble.

Despite Inuyasha's initial worries, practicing sword fighting with his half-brother hadn't turned into a deadly encounter. It had all been quite dull, actually. His hands and lower back still hurt from all the times Sesshoumaru had smacked him with the sheath to correct his standing. At least they'd eventually progressed to using targets, even if the bamboo sticks did come across as rather underwhelming opponents.

As vicious as Sesshoumaru's scolding was, Inuyasha couldn't complain. He knew better than anyone that his technique was sloppy, and they were far from the worst injuries he’d sustained after an encounter with Sesshoumaru. He'd be as good as new in the morning, anyway.

“Better to get going, I think. My camp is kinda far,” Inuyasha said, squinting at the horizon. It was already late in the afternoon and the sun was setting. Sesshoumaru only nodded.

As Inuyasha made a move to stand, Sesshoumaru reached out. Inuyasha found himself staring blankly at the hand hanging before him. He hesitated for a moment, although he knew it was silly.

Once he thought he'd never see the day his brother would be able to take his hand without feeling disgusted. Just a couple of years ago, Sesshoumaru could barely stand the sight of him. Somewhere along the line things had changed, though. It felt like a big deal, for some reason. As if they'd reached a milestone together.

Inuyasha shook his head and took the offered hand.

Sesshoumaru pulled him up but didn’t release him immediately. As Inuyasha made to move away, he tightened his grip and pulled him forwards. Inuyasha went rigid. Being this close to Sesshoumaru was a peculiar experience. The old familiar scent of electricity was suddenly surrounding him, making his senses tingle. He forced himself to look up and meet his brother's gaze.

“You should know I don't make a habit of it. The chasing, I mean,” Sesshoumaru said. “It's not in my nature. Playing games does not interest me, and I’m straightforward when seeking this type of arrangement. If you tell me you are not interested, don't expect me to insist.”

Inuyasha stared.

He had not thought Sesshoumaru would actually say it out loud.

A number of things became clear to Inuyasha, all at once. He understood now why Sesshoumaru had invited him to practice sword fighting together when they'd never done such a thing in the past. Why he’d chosen this secluded clearing for their meeting, away from interruptions and prying eyes. His half-brother had spoken about proper training and a mentor because he'd been making an offering. Inuyasha wasn't sure what to think. He'd never had a master before, although it was a fairly common practice between youkai warriors. He'd figured it came with the package of being a hanyou.

Despite his mild understanding of it, Inuyasha also knew this type of arrangement went far beyond training. Mentorship had to be traded in for something, and he didn't know if he was ready or willing to give it. Especially to Sesshoumaru.

“I wasn't,” he forced himself to say. “Playing games, that is.”

“Ah, you weren't?”

“No, I just didn't think… didn't think you actually meant it. Like, you were just - I dunno, fooling around,” Inuyasha said, almost dragging out the words. His face felt very hot. “I mean, we ain't got a nice baggage.”

“That doesn't bother me.”

“Oh.”

Inuyasha was very aware of Sesshoumaru still holding his hand. His grip was firm yet careful. He kept rubbing circles on the palm with the pad of his thumb. It'd been a very long time since anyone had touched Inuyasha with such gentleness. He wouldn't have thought Sesshoumaru was capable of it.

“Does it bother you?”

“No, I'm not saying that, it's just-” Inuyasha cut himself off.

He knew what he wanted to say. Knowing it and actually getting it out there seemed like two very different things at the moment, though. This is why he avoided direct confrontations whenever possible.

“Ah. Perhaps this is your way of letting this Sesshoumaru down gently?”

“No, that's not what this is.”

Inuyasha’s eyes were trained on the ground.

“I just… don't get it,” he said. “I'm still me, yaknow? It's not like anything's changed.”

“What hasn't changed?”

“Who I am. What I am,” Inuyasha replied. He was trying very hard not to sound bitter. “Why would you want this?”

At first, Sesshoumaru kept quiet. Inuyasha wondered if he was pondering what to say, or if he simply had no answer to give. Perhaps Sesshoumaru himself didn't understand the reasoning behind his proposal. It could very well be that he wanted him while still resenting his true nature. Inuyasha knew that sometimes desire and aversion came hand in hand.

It wouldn't be the first time he found himself entangled in that web.

“I thought we had agreed that was in the past,” Sesshoumaru said.

“I… yeah, I guess we did.”

Inuyasha grimaced. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to bring it up again, and now of all times.

In the past, even people who'd genuinely cared about him had found his heritage to be something of an inconvenience. Whether it was the demonic or the human one, they felt the need to choose a side - to pick him apart and build with the pieces something easier to call their own. Kikyo had been the only one powerful enough to make it a reality, but really most people in his life had had the same pretensions, to different extents.

All of them, except Kagome.

Ever since the human girl had gone back to her timeline, Inuyasha hadn't entertained the idea of pursuing anyone else. Building something worthwhile hadn’t seemed possible, with neither humans nor youkai. What right did Sesshoumaru have to ask that trust from him now, after everything they'd done to each other? It didn't seem fair, or rational in any way.

“You said your camp was far away,” Sesshoumaru said, out of the blue.

“Uh… yeah, I said that,” Inuyasha replied.

His brother let go of him, then. Inuyasha frowned as he saw him silently widen the distance between them.

“You should be in your way, then.”

Inuyasha felt his stomach sink. He hadn't meant for his silence to be interpreted as a refusal. For a being over 500 years old, Sesshoumaru did have a rather juvenile habit of reacting poorly whenever he felt rejected. He could see it now in his tight lips, in the barely there frown grazing his forehead.

“Hey, come on, don't get your panties in a twist,” Inuyasha said. He took his brother by the sleeve to keep him from moving further away. “It's not like I’m saying no.”

Sesshoumaru's only response was to raise his eyebrows at him. Inuyasha shifted where he stood.

“Can you just… I dunno, give me some time?”

Sesshoumaru stared at him for a moment, as if sizing him up.

"That would be agreeable," he said.

Inuyasha signed, only then realizing how tense he'd become. Neither of them tried to move away. Inuyasha picked at his brother's robe, fishing for something to break the ice.

“Your pickup lines are super lame, by the way,” he said, eventually. “Not to be a hater, but they are totally getting banned.”

Sesshoumaru didn't quite smile at his attempt at banter. For once, Inuyasha was able to identify the ghost of a smirk playing on his lips, though.

“I'm glad to know I was able to amuse you so.”

Sesshoumaru stepped back into his personal space, hand resting just to the side of Inuyasha’s waist. As intimidating as it could be to have his brother stand so close, Inuyasha couldn't deny there was also a thrill to it. Underneath that primal instinct to flee, there also ran a need to stay and tempt the danger. To bare his neck and submit to the tremendous power Sesshoumaru held.

Inuyasha still wasn't sure how much of those impulses were a result of attraction, and how much of it was nothing but raw instinct. Even now, he didn't think he entirely understood his demonic side. It occurred to him for the first time that if he accepted, this was one of the many things that would become clearer to him, eventually. He wasn't sure whether the way his stomach flipped was due to fear or excitement.

Inuyasha's awareness tunneled as he saw Sesshoumaru leaning forwards. Fingers were curling around his neck, and the scent of rain filled his senses. Inuyasha barely registered their noses awkwardly bumping together as their lips met.

Due to both naivety and lack of privacy, Inuyasha's past relationships distinctly lacked any carnal component. Making out had never felt like the preamble of something else. This was different. Exponentially different. Not at all sure what to do with his hands, Inuyasha found himself gripping the yellow obi surrounding Sesshoumaru's waist. Heat was steadily spreading through him.

Even with the armor on, Sesshoumaru's body felt warm and welcoming around him. As soon as the kiss began, though, Inuyasha could feel him pulling away. He took him by the shoulder, forcing him to stay. To prolong it for just a little longer. Sesshoumaru smiled against his chin and bit playfully into his lower lip. It felt right, in a way. As if Inuyasha were saying, however indirectly, that he did want him back.

As they pulled apart, there was a glint in Sesshoumaru's eyes that hadn't been there before.

“Same place and time, three days from now,” he said, voice unusually low. “If you do not come, I'll know what your answer is.”

Inuyasha nodded, not feeling up to the task of speaking just yet.

That day they bid their goodbyes and parted ways. Inuyasha still wasn't sure what to make of what had been said, or what his answer would be next time they crossed paths. His misgivings, as usual, would not leave him. It was only as he was making his way back to the village that realization dawned on him. During their training, Sesshoumaru laid hands on Tessaiga. Not once, but many times.

The sword had not burned him.

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helenawrites23 · 30 days

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The Way of The Sword (Chapter 2)

18+. 3.8k, half-sibling incest, age difference, explicit content, strenght kink, breathplay, submission, intercrural sex, relationship problems, canon-typical violence. part 2/?. AO3 link part 1, part 3. Let me know if you want to be tagged!

The search for Naraku might be over, but Inuyasha hasn't escaped his past. He drags it around like a ball and chain. Then he crosses paths with his half-brother again, and learns how to let go.

In which Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru go training together, and reach an arrangement of sorts.

It was late in the afternoon.

Inuyasha was sitting before a fire in his camp, stirring a concoction of lye and animal fat.

Making soap wasn't difficult. He'd seen Kagome going through the motions before, those few times she'd run out of her flowery shower gels, and emulating her had been quite easy from the get-go. Of course, she'd been much more diligent about the whole thing, adding citrus slices, lavender buds, honey, and all sorts of girly things. Inuyasha was sure his own procedures weren’t all that sophisticated.

The first time she'd caught Inuyasha picking through her hygiene products, Kagome had been too startled to get properly worked up about it. She did wonder why a boy would be quite so preoccupied with proper grooming, especially one who was generally unkempt and cared little about appearances. Inuyasha, on his part, had found it hard to explain to a human how unbearable bad odors were to someone with a high sense of smell.

She'd found it hilarious, in the end. Inuyasha took it as just one of those many little differences that set their natures apart.

His knee was aching again. He shifted where he sat, trying to get some weight off of it. The pain didn't disappear entirely, but it did become somewhat bearable. In an attempt to distract himself, Inuyasha grabbed a handful of lemongrass and took a sniff. The smell was strong enough to make him dizzy, and he took care to only add a small amount. As he was getting ready to pour the concoction into molds, a different scent caught his attention.

It was somewhat familiar but too faint for him to recognize it right away. Inuyasha frowned and looked around. There was no one he could sense around the clearing where he'd made camp. As he closed his eyes, he could only hear crickets and small animals lurking about. Still, the scent prevailed.

Inuyasha left the hot cauldron over a pile of bricks beside the fire and marched into the forest. The scent became stronger, but he couldn't quite pinpoint where it was coming from. The trail led him in circles through the trees, increasing and diminishing like a flickering light. It took him too long to understand why, and by then it was too late. There was the sound of something cutting through the air, and then a cold blade been held to his throat.

Inuyasha went perfectly still.

“A hanyou caught with his guard down is just asking for trouble. Surely, you ought to know better?”

Inuyasha recognized the voice and felt himself relax.

“You are a fucking psychopath, you know that?” He said, using the tip of his fingers to move the blade away. No resistance was met from the other end. “I mean, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

When Inuyasha turned around to glare at him, Sesshoumaru had the gall to look amused rather than sheepish. He quickly put his sword back into its sheath, and the movement was so graceful one would not have been able to tell the weapon had just been used to play a practical joke. That was just like Sesshoumaru, though. Even at his most petty, he somehow managed to look dignified.

“What are you doing here, anyway? Besides being a major creep, I mean,” Inuyasha asked, crossing his arms. At the back of his head, he was wondering why he'd been unable to identify his brother's scent. He hadn't even felt him approaching.

Sesshoumaru took a step forward, standing just close enough to force Inuyasha to look up. Inuyasha held his gaze, resisting the urge to step back.

“I decided a visit was in order,” Sesshoumaru replied. “It wouldn't do to have you think I'd forgotten all about you.”

They weren't supposed to meet for a while.

Their last training session involved a few rounds of wrestling that had left Inuyasha limping from one leg, and despite his many protests, Sesshoumaru had dimmed that reason enough to warrant a few days of rest. It wasn't like him to change his mind without cause. It was also much too late to get any meaningful training done. Inuyasha had to wonder what his brother was thinking, dropping by unannounced and without a clear motive.

It had been a few weeks since Inuyasha had acquiesced to their arrangement. Today marked one month, exactly. Since then, they'd been practicing wrestling and sword fighting almost every day.

Although hanging around Sesshoumaru often and for long stretches of time was a novelty in itself, Inuyasha didn't feel like their relationship had changed in any meaningful way. His half-brother was as distant as always. While Sesshoumaru's disregard for personal space persisted, as well as their almost flirtatious bantering, things between them just didn't seem to be clicking. Inuyasha wasn't at all sure what they were doing, or where they were heading.

It occurred to him then that this may be Sesshoumaru’s odd way of pressing forwards.

“Yeah, whatever. My camp's over there,” he said, not quite looking his brother in the eye. “Unless you wanna stay here and skulk around the forest some more.”

Sesshoumaru hummed. Although his expression hadn’t truly changed, he seemed somewhat pleased by the invitation. He refrained from answering and instead extended his hand, gesturing for Inuyasha to lead.

It'd been a while since Inuyasha had sought out anyone in this fashion. This was not for lack of interest, at least on his part. Kagome had been, admittedly, something of a prude. Even making out had been an act that came with its own set of rules and limitations. Their social circle at the time was also unhelpful. Looking back, Inuyasha realized that many issues in his and Kagome's relationship stemmed from the fact that they never truly had the chance to be alone. Even if she'd dared, it would have been quite impossible to have any type of intimacy.

In this part of the forest, there were no interruptions or unexpected visitors to be had, though, and Inuyasha found a certain reassurance in that fact.

“Well, here we are,” he said.

Sesshoumaru glanced around as he made his way into the clearing. Inuyasha felt a tad of discomfort as he noticed him staring at the cauldron, still steaming over the pile of bricks. If his half-brother had any comments about it he kept them to himself, though. It seemed to be one of those days in which words had to be dragged out of him.

As the silence stretched, Inuyasha shifted on his feet. His knee was giving him trouble again. Suddenly, Sesshoumaru took the swords from his belt and laid them down on the grass beside the fire. Then he rose and threw an expectant glance at Inuyasha. It took him a moment to realize what was being asked of him. Not without some doubt, he took out Tessaiga and laid it down as well.

Inuyasha knew what the act of setting their weapons aside meant. It was a promise of peace. A pledge to keep violence out of whatever took place between them tonight. As he stood back up, Inuyasha found a knot at the base of his throat.

He'd come to understand quite quickly that Sesshoumaru wasn't fond of small talk, or any social niceties for that matter. When his brother pushed at a mechanism on the back of his armor to remove it, choosing to forsake any words, Inuyasha was neither fazed nor surprised. He did take the time to stare as Sesshoumaru easily lifted the heavy metal shell over his shoulders, laying it down with as much reverence as he'd done with his weapons.

Inuyasha didn't think he'd ever seen him without it. The contrast made him look remarkably thinner. Somehow exposed.

He found himself approaching almost without meaning to. Sesshoumaru took him by the waist, easily pulling him forward. Inuyasha could feel the smell of rain steadily increasing around him, and a puncture of electricity just at the tip of his nose. Although in retrospect it should have seemed strange, it felt natural to lean forward and sniff at Sesshoumaru's throat, taking in the scent.

“This is nice,” he muttered.

Sesshoumaru hummed, seeming unfazed by his actions. Inuyasha was dimly aware of him sniffing at the crown of his hair, tickling a canine ear with the tip of his nose. He let his hands wander, feeling the muscles of Sesshoumaru's back flex through the fabric of his haori. It was almost absurd, how strong his half-brother was. In the past, that had been a source of constant worry and frustration. Now, though, Inuyasha was finding it increasingly difficult not to relish that strength.

More than once he'd found himself admiring Sesshoumaru's boundless power from afar. Even dreaming with it, sometimes.

Inuyasha pulled back and tilted his face up. Sesshoumaru met him halfway, taking him by the back of the head. This kiss felt different from the first one. There was a hunger behind it that hadn't been there before. Inuyasha was very aware of their fangs occasionally bumping together. He also realized that to make out with Sesshoumaru he needed to keep his heels off the ground, which was a strange discovery. He hadn't been aware their height difference was quite so significant.

The hand around Inuyasha's waist moved lower, grabbing one of his buttocks. Their position allowed Sesshoumaru to easily push their hips together. Inuyasha's legs shook. He hadn't realized how worked up he'd gotten. Sesshoumaru chuckled, backing away to lessen the pressure.

“Oh, you are too precious,” he said, voice rough and right beside his ear.

“Fuck off,” Inuyasha replied. “It's your fault, anyway. ‘Been giving me blue balls for a whole fuckin’ month.”

“Ah, how rude of me.”

Sesshoumaru slid his hands up Inuyasha's chest and under his haori, pushing it off his shoulders. The sun had set by then. The evening breeze should have been enough to give him goosebumps, yet Inuyasha felt warm. Almost unbearably so. It was something in the way Sesshoumaru was looking at him, eyes wide and terribly dark. He couldn't help but wonder what his deal was. Inuyasha knew he had something of a scrawny physique when compared with his brother.

It was not something he wanted to consider, at the moment. So he gripped Sesshoumaru by the forearms and dragged him into another kiss.

There was some desperation to the act. Inuyasha was not quite ready to admit how much time he'd spent ogling and waiting, the last month. He'd been alone for quite a while too, and that hadn't made it easier. Sesshoumaru seemed somehow impatient as well. He pushed Inuyasha back and they tumbled together onto the grass.

There were lips sucking a steady line across Inuyasha’s neck. Then Sesshoumaru was untying his hakama and pulling it down. Inuyasha had to remind himself that it was okay. There was nothing hasty or reckless about what they were doing. If anything, things between them had been going agonizingly slow, as of late. Still, he couldn't quite shake off the apprehension.

Inuyasha had only ever had sex with men he didn't know. Clandestine encounters with humans who were looking to satisfy some morbid impulse. Although there'd certainly been a thrill to the mere carnality of the act, it had only ever left him a distinct feeling of wrongness in the aftermath. Inuyasha had not been able to put it into words, at the beginning. It was like an itch spreading through his body. As if he'd been cut, but no wound or blood was left to show. Just a dull ache whose origin he could not determine.

In the absence of affection or respect, a very peculiar type of cruelty can arise from a casual encounter, especially when one part sees the other as a lower creature. That cruelty, Inuyasha had come to find, didn't have to translate into violence in order to hurt. If given the chance back then, he would have chosen physical pain over the humiliation of a crude comment or the sting of a cold dismissal. As used as he'd gotten to that treatment over the years, Inuyasha wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it, if it came from Sesshoumaru.

“What is it?”

Inuyasha had to force himself to look up at his brother.

“What you mean?” He replied.

Sesshoumaru was left unimpressed by his poor attempt at deceit.

“You've gone awfully still.”

Inuyasha hesitated. He felt naked, in more ways than one. Sesshoumaru's hand was resting on his hip, idly stroking the protruding bone with his thumb. Inuyasha was very aware of his erection hanging just inches away. He knew he wanted Sesshoumaru. There was no reason to reject him now or postpone this any more than they already had.

“Nuthing. We can, uh… talk about it later,” Inuyasha said, knowing perfectly well he wouldn’t dare to bring this up again.

Although his brother didn't look quite convinced, he also didn't protest.

There was suddenly a hand over Inuyasha's chest, pushing him back down with astonishing force. His head reeled for a moment as he made contact with the ground. Then Sesshoumaru took hold of his cock, and any thought about stopping or slowing down left Inuyasha for good. The hand pressing him down wouldn't budge. Its hold was strong enough for him to know that he wouldn't be able to break it, even if he’d been inclined. Inuyasha wasn't. Sesshoumaru wanted him down, and he felt oddly willing to indulge him, at the moment.

“Mmn, I like this a lot.”

As Sesshoumaru began to stroke him, a ragged breath came out of Inuyasha.

“What’s that?”

“You, all quiet and meek,” Sesshoumaru replied. In the dark, his eyes were barely illuminated by the fire. “There is a first time for everything.”

“Ugh, so even in bed you are a bastard. Good to know.”

For some reason, Inuyasha had thought Sesshoumaru's hands would be cold. As it turned out, they were warm and soft. The friction as they moved down his body was not rough and awkward, the way it'd been with others. Inuyasha had enough self-awareness to realize that his own anticipation played a part in that. If he hadn't been so beside himself, he would have been embarrassed.

The hand over Inuyasha's chest moved upwards, pressing down his throat. He didn't fight it. Although he probably should have been, Inuyasha wasn't afraid. He opened his legs wider, moaning unabashedly as Sesshoumaru started to squeeze. His hold was not painful. In fact, it wasn't strong enough to entirely cut off Inuyasha's breathing. There was something liberating about the experience. Some primal sense of release that came with the act of surrendering to Sesshoumaru.

Blindly, Inuyasha reached for his brother's hakama. He struggled for a minute or two with the ties until Sesshoumaru took pity and undid them for him. With only a hint of hesitation, Inuyasha reached inside to take out his cock. The grip on his neck tightened to an alarming degree, then loosened again.

Sesshoumaru's cock felt hot to the touch. Inuyasha knew, in some abstract way, that Sesshoumaru was attracted to him. There would have been no sense in their arrangement if he wasn't. Still, he found it strange to realize he had the power to affect him in this way.

Inuyasha shivered as he felt Sesshoumaru drag his tongue over the skin of his cheek, fangs bared and breath unbearably warm.

“Careful there, you-” Inuyasha cut himself off, barely managing not to choke as he felt Sesshoumaru's mouth close around his throat. Fangs grazed the sensitive skin. He wasn’t sure, at the moment, if what shot through him was fear or arousal.

Inuyasha blinked, dazed, then tried again.

“You're starting to look like you wanna take a bite outta me.”

Sesshoumaru backed away, just enough to look him in the eye. They were so close their noses were touching.

“Maybe I want to,” he replied.

Inuyasha bit into his lips to keep any sound from coming out. In the state he was in, he worried he might let him if he asked politely enough.

Sesshoumaru took him by the hips and turned him on his side. Inuyasha let him, too worked up to mind the manhandling. Laying down behind him, Sesshoumaru easily slid between his thighs. Only then did Inuyasha understand what he meant to do. Although he found the alternative somehow more intriguing, he figured it was only sensical, what with the lack of lubricant.

As Sesshoumaru left a trail of kisses down his neck, Inuyasha realized the nature of the act was entirely trivial. He pressed his thighs closer together, and felt a thrill run through him as Sesshoumaru groaned into his hair. Then he was leaning forward, biting into the soft flesh of Inuyasha's ear. A heavy sensation settled in his groin.

Inuyasha closed his eyes, zeroing in on the feeling of Sesshoumaru’s hands on him. The harsh panting just beside his ear. The sound of their bodies slapping together at an ever-increasing pace. He hadn’t expected it to be like this. So effortless and simple.

They lay together for a while, afterward. As he came down his high, Inuyasha was only aware of heavy breathing somewhere behind him, and cold lips wandering the skin of his back.

“Well, it took us long enough,” he muttered.

In response, Sesshoumaru offered nothing but a noncommittal hum. Inuyasha hesitated, but in the end, forced himself to speak. It was easier, somehow, when he didn't have to look his brother in the eye.

“I was starting to think that maybe… I dunno, you were having second thoughts.”

It took Sesshoumaru a weirdly long time to answer.

“Second thoughts about what?”

“Eh… you know. This,” Inuyasha said eloquently. He cringed at himself, then tried again. “It's just… a whole month went by. Not even a kiss.”

“That would not have been appropriate,” Sesshoumaru replied.

Inuyasha turned to look back, confused. Sesshoumaru's face was showing a peculiar emotion. That mild discomfort that comes with explaining out loud something that is common practice and widely understood.

“Uh… why?”

“It was not my place to seek you out if you were not ready.”

Inuyasha considered that for a moment.

“So, don’t know if you’ve realized. But I’m not really great at giving first steps.”

“Ah. Yes, I realized.”

Inuyasha couldn’t help but laugh. It was such a dumb argument to have. Internally, though, he was becoming increasingly annoyed with himself.

The more time he spent around Sesshoumaru, the more aware Inuyasha was of all the things he ignored about youkai. It was getting old fast. He couldn't help it, though. Although Inuyasha was a half-demon, his mother had been human. His father had never been in the picture. He understood very little about youkai when it came to instincts, expectations, and even customs.

He hadn’t minded before. Inuyasha had always known that ostracization was the norm for most hanyou. Now, though, these seemed like things he really needed to know. At least, if he wanted whatever was happening between Sesshoumaru and him to work out.

The sun had not yet come out, by the time Inuyasha woke up. The first thing he realized was that he was still naked. The second one was that Sesshoumaru was no longer beside him. There was no time to reflect too closely on that, though. A quick inspection of the vicinity revealed him setting by the fire, idly stirring the cracking flames. Inuyasha sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Hey,” he said.

Sesshoumaru turned to look at him but said nothing. Inuyasha was too used to his silence to be affronted.

“Did you not sleep?”

“I was not tired.”

Inuyasha put on his hakama. He flung his haori over his shoulders but didn’t bother to tie it back up. Sesshoumaru took his leave, he would probably go to sleep again once. It wouldn't be long from now. Somehow, Inuyasha could tell. At least he'd waited for him to wake up before walking away. As he got dressed, Inuyasha could see him approaching from the corner of his eye. Unwilling to let his brother hover over him, he stood up.

Sesshoumaru was wearing his armor again. He was also fully dressed, looking as regal as always. Even his swords were back on his belt. The last few hours suddenly felt like a hazy dream. The sight was so affronting Inuyasha was about to ask him to be done with it and leave. Then he noticed it. Sesshoumaru held it up in both hands, offering it back with a mindfulness Inuyasha found odd.

“Uh, thanks,” he said, taking Tessaiga back. Inuyasha had to wonder when he'd stopped being nervous about his half-brother touching it.

“You did not recognize me, back in the woods,” Sesshoumaru said.

Inuyasha frowned, unsure why he was bringing it up. It wasn't the first time his brother snuck up on him.

“I was wondering why, until I saw that.”

Sesshoumaru tilted his head to the side. Inuyasha followed his gaze and caught a glimpse of the cauldron sitting beside the fire, still brimming with a dense concoction of lye. He turned to look back at his brother, confusion written over his face.

“Strong herbs are bad for you,” Sesshoumaru said. “Don't you know that?”

Inuyasha hesitated.

“Uh… no?”

“They’ll make you lose your sense of smell. It's not something you should be playing with.”

“Oh,” he said. “I guess... I'll be throwing that away, then.”

Sesshoumaru had the grace not to say anything else.

It was humbling, in a way. Inuyasha knew that if their roles were reversed, he would be relentlessly mocking him.

“Is your leg better?”

“Yeah. Kind of. It'll be fine tomorrow morning, I think.”

Sesshoumaru nodded, seeming satisfied. Inuyasha pulled his haori tighter around himself, waiting for him to say something. He didn't. Awkward silences were not rare between them.

“Yeah, anyway,” Inuyasha said. “Bye, I guess.”

If Sesshoumaru was offended or took it as a dismissal, he didn't let it show. He stepped closer again and took him by the waist. Inuyasha couldn't help but be annoyed. He wasn’t in the mood to make out or play at sweethearts anymore. Clearly, his brother had better things to do. Sesshoumaru didn’t linger, though. Instead, he pushed Inuyasha's hair out of the way and kissed him on the forehead. It was a quick press of the lips, and then he was moving away.

Inuyasha shifted where he stood. He hated how hot his face felt.

“Goodbye, Inuyasha,” Sesshoumaru said, and just like he'd come, he was gone.

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