Pathaan Review
WARNING: contains spoilers and impure thoughts lol
When the opening scene showed Lahore, Pakistan, my sister and I burst out laughing because OF COURSE. Bollywood making Pakistani Muslims the bad guys?GROUNDBREAKING! 🙄
I was a bit nervous because I thought the film would be super nationalistic and anti-Pakistan because I did NOT spend $30 to watch desh bakht shit. But I’m glad it wasn’t like that because so many films in this genre are. Like, stop fucking preaching and being annoying.
SRK was absolutely fucking delicious. Each look was better than the last. There’s just something about a dirty, scrungly looking man and he made me weak af. Watching Besharam Rang on the big screen and seeing him shirtless? Especially when he ran to Deepika’s room looking like THAT? Whew! I was literally feeling like a dog in heat lmaoooo
His hairstyle was giving off Eren Jaeger vibes 1000% and that’s all I could think about.
Pathaan’s backstory about Afghanistan was really sweet and wholesome. I love how they all helped him in the end, because I kind of had a feeling that’s what was going on.
John Abraham as Jim, oh my godddd. He was so sexy and played a great villain. I’m so glad he’s lean again because that super muscular, beefcake look he had going on for a few years was not attractive. I felt really sorry for Jim and what happened to him. It was understandable why he became a villain. I thought it was an interesting detail that he basically had no loyalty to any country and was doing it for a personal reason instead.
When John does that cute winking and smiling thing...my weakness
Deepika. Lord. That woman is a goddess. She was absolutely badass. I like that she played a Pakistani character and how just because someone from her country is bad, doesn’t mean everyone else is and she doesn’t consider his actions as something Pakistan as a whole is doing/agrees with. Basically that guy alone is an extremist and she would never condone his actions because she actually loves her country just like Pathaan loves his. The way the Besharam Rang lyrics literally described her character and motives, I was shook.
When she was like “Trust me, Pathaan” with those puppy dog eyes? I was like “BABY I TAKE U BACK!”
I think SRK & Deepika had amazing chemistry and the sexual tension! Especially when he was changing her bandages. Sorry girl, but I would have let Pathaan hit it.
I know this website hates a certain Khan but I really enjoyed his special appearance and the banter between Tiger & Pathaan. The Karan Arjun reference!!! Too bad it was spoiled for me by Reddit, ugh.
Dimple Kapadia was so stunning! I want to age like her. I cried when her character died.
SRK singing “Tu Hai Meri Karen” and the “I love you, K-K-Karen” dialogue had me and my sister crying 😂
LOL OF COURSE PATHAAN SAVED THE DAY AT THE VERY LAST SECOND
I was nervous that Ashutosh Rana’s character was going to talk shit about Pakistan and say how we all suck at the end, but thankfully that didn’t happen.
The pre-credits scene of Pathaan & Tiger was absolutely fucking gold. It’s like, they were talking about their job as agents but also irl how they rule Bollywood and none of these hoes can reach their level. So meta.
Love how Pathaan said he was going to see his hairdresser to get shampoo but then stayed looking hobo af in the very next scene (the Jhoome Jo Pathaan song)
Overall, I really enjoyed the movie and it was great seeing my man back on the big screen after 6 years 🥰
I’m gonna gif the fuck out of it once the torrent drops~~~
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The Crown S5E7 Commentary
Non Spoiler Gist: Brilliant brilliant Diana centric episode - I loved every single minute of it! It was also interwoven well with Bashir prepping and manipulating Di into the interview, Diana’s romance with Dr. Hasnat Khan and a secondary C-plot of Lizzie having lunches with William and Margot.
Spoilers Under The Cut:
The Bashir Interview episode Let's gooo
We love a Diana-centric episode
Gosh she sounds so much like her I'm getting emotional I just love her so much???
This monologue on being separated is on point
Oooh we're getting Tween William this should be interesting
Is that Dominic's actual son?? Nepotism at it's finest I wonder what he thinks of his dad's irl cheating and if he finds him being Charles as ironically meta as I do
Awww Harry my babeyyyy
Also gosh the press really were everywhere and invading every aspect of their lives huh
This is so taunting he's like a spectacle
Not them fighting at his school too
LMAO THE SPITE HUG YES SHOW HIM THE LOVE DIANA
Bashir is KNEE deep in his research era huh
Honestly all the scenes of him so far is just me being old enough to love Diana on my own and just watch every available clip and read every article on her. I was in the trenches with my Diana phase as a tween
Why does the actor look like this Tamil actor I know I'm shook they look very similar and like they could be related
Okay I googled him no they do not only in this get up for some reason hsjjsjs
Damnnn he's an ambitious one isn't he
What are they doing with these bank statements???
Holy fuck the Earl Spencer's casting is EERIE they look THE SAME
What the fuckkkk I knew how he got the interview was unethical BUT NOT THIS UNETHICAL
This is so shady omg omg
This man I swear to God like he didn't waver ONCE
Lmao Diana saw this man ONCE and is a goner for him. She's just staring hshahh
I really thought we'd get her and Dodi around this time but Hasnat Khan is pretty cute too I'll give her that
She's adorable omggg
DIANA YOUR FRIEND'S HUSBAND MIGHT BE DYING AND YOU'RE THIRSTING OVER A MAN
I cannot this is too funny pls
Diana babes please read the room
Not William being short with his mother
Goddd her phones being tapped is so scary
Oh dear god not the guys trying to take a pic of her
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK HER BRAKES AREN'T WORKING
What the fuckkkkk I had a heart attack that was terrifying
Lmaoo this interaction with the Spencers - PEAK siblings
Her paranoia was really preyed upon huh
Poor her
Patrick would notttt
Bashir is lyinggg
This is so painful to watch
Danggg the way Elizabeth's face went red so fast damn girl she turned it ON
Oooh Willy is having lunch with Lizzie this ought to be fun
Damn this boy has got the voice down we love to see it
I really like their dynamic it's really sweet and kinda humanises them for me despite my issues with the two of them
NOT CHARLIES STILL TALKING ABOUT GORDONSTOUN
The trauma is real yall
Awwee Diana in the hospital I love her so much she was really the sweetest soul wasn't she
Lmaooo Di's like Oh??? My crush has noticed mee!!!
She's so into him this is so cute
I'm so invested in this sldhddjd
Ohmygod she called him sexy hskdjsk
Dianaaaa
A HUSBAND
I LOVE HER BEING FLIRTY
This Diana is SUCH A VIBEEEE
"I'm constitutionally single" Lmaoo I'm using that
They are ADORABLE why did it end 😭😭
Boooo Bashir leave her aloneee
Holy shit mans is really laying it thick and telling her everything she wants to hear
Not Oprah being name dropped as an alternate for an interviewer
Imagine if she had gotten the Di interview and also the H&M one - that would have been a TRIP
Damnnn the duality of the two Pakistani men in her life during this time. It's a very interesting parallel to see. One manipulating and exploiting her and the other offering her safety, privacy and kindness
Lmaooo Bashir did not say "I think she has a thing for me"
Okay but thank god he didn't mean it like That
That 1991 tour meant a lot to her didn't it? Lowkey wish we saw it instead of the Russian ep
We all have that special country away from home we fell in love with so I get it.
I'm just glad they didn't make it out to be a exotic country or fetishise it in her eyes
Ohmygod she looks like Sophie Turner in that getup I got shook
AWWE THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS I LOVE THEM
OHMYGOD WHAT IS THIS FOREPLAY
Their flirting is on point
He keeps asking for consent it's so sexy
DR KHAN NO HSJDJJSJ
Girlie was trying to be deep about her broken, neglected heart and this man goes "No your heart is fine. Quite a strong pulse actually."
God he's SO endearing
GJSHSJC DIANA I SWEAR
She's sooo into him
Bro she likes youuu and you like herr
She did not call him a frog I'm screaming djdkdkd
Jesus Christ Lizzie we get it stop name calling and just say her name
Yall are awful
Jesus Bashir are you trying to isolate her from EVERYONE
Mans really using his mother tongue to his advantage
I do sympathise with his struggles as an MOC in a very white industry
Gosh this is all so complex
Like yeah he was REAL shady about it but he also did let her feel understood and allowed her that platform to lay it all on the line
"You can trust me" K Bashir K 🤡🤡
Oh dip this isn't the actual interview ep. Aights gonna take a short break before I watch the next one!
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No because I actually need context now you’ve brought WILD DOGS into it????
HAHAHHAHA
ok poll context:
held at gunpoint: this was in ukraine in like 2019(?). according to my mates a guy approached me on the street pointing a gun at me from his hip and told me to give him my passport and go with him. i am Not Very Aware of my surroundings ever and thought he was trying to sell me something and so replied “no i’m okay thank you” and he walked off. in hindsight extremely scary but that must have been such a jarring interaction for him.
signature cologne can only be bought in a country i cannot enter: it’s a pakistani wedding brand that doesn’t ship internationally and i am A Queer. a bunch of my family are pakistani tho so they grab it for me whenever they’re over there. it’s almirah impression in case you care for some reason.
lsd cured my anxiety: i used to have such severe social anxiety that i couldn’t leave my flat. took a ton of lsd and saw a video game character creation menu with that as a debuff, deleted it on the menu and it never came back. i have no explanation for this but i am now extremely irritatingly confident.
in a relationship with my former boss: we worked a temp bar job together yearsssss ago. my first thought upon meeting her was “oh fuck i cannot work for this woman” because she is sexy. she cried a lot. it was a shit job. we started dating like a year after our contract ended.
half my family pretend i don’t exist: despite half my family being pakistani and being either muslim or ex muslims it was my white british atheist side that couldn’t stand to associated with a queer. they’re deeply boring anyway so i’m actually kinda glad ngl.
really good at a job i hate: i’m a sick cocktail bartender but i hate people and being sticky and standing up for 14 straight hours so.
wild dogs: once got stuck in romania for like daysss waiting for a flight and they would just close the airport and make us sit in the wild dog infested car park. very menacing tbh.
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