#She acted like I was shaming her and turned Not Taking Him To The Vet into a way to make some kind of point to me about how --

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

BORIS JOHNSON RESIGNS AS MP. Thoughts? The people howl for a new update to the Big Dog the Clown saga.

Yes this was not on my personal bingo card; my most recent Big Dog event was that a friend of mine works for air traffic control and recently had to delay BoJo's holiday flight by four hours, and on being told that this particular plane had to be prioritised for a runway slot because it contained an Important Clown promptly pushed it to the bottom of the priority list. Lol. And then all this! What larks.

Okay not a lot of detail yet still but LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE EVENTS OF 9TH JUNE, 2023 and you know what? It's been a while. Let's do it properly.

7.15am

Another day dawns in the reign of evil Grand Vizier-turned-PM Rishi Sunak. He's a very boring flavour of evil, tbh. Say what you will about Johnson, but at least there was spectacle and showmanship to his clownshow. Something for the children to boo and hiss. An animate ham in a villain's wig, something to really enjoy as you sit back, relax, and savour a tall, cool glass of schadenfreude.

By contrast Rishi just gets sycophants - who are no less ridiculous, but far more grey and boring - who pretend he's a tech bro because "he understands AI" and they think that will make him a visionary and a man of the future and maybe some sort of Elon Musk figure, because that's obviously a smashing template to be copied in a leader of a country.

This briefing was presumably drafted using ChatGPT.

Anyway, this is what we thought the day would be: another dreary overcast washout, livened up by Downing Street's latest attempt at making Sunak seem like a good idea to stave off the hulking spectre of Labour's inevitable GE win next year. How trite. How tedious. How mediocre.

What a shame it would be if... something were to liven it up.

8.39 am

Fun fact!

When a PM's term ends, as their last act in office, they get to present an Honours List. This means they write a list of all the people they reckon have been Jolly Good Sorts who have done Good Clowning and Supported The Community, and nominate those people for honours. Honours here can be anything from an MBE/OBE etc, to a Damehood/Knighthood, all the way up to entering the Peerage i.e. becoming a Lord. Traditionally, people have been fairly reasonable with these lists. Apart from anything else, the outgoing PM can only write the list - the new Prime Minister has to sign off on it, and it's usually the case, of course, that PMs are deposed by the opposition party.

Why am I mentioning this? Well: Boris, you see, has now presented his list to Sunak to validate. You may be unsurprised to learn that it contains quite a lot of clowns.

Another fun fact!

If a sitting MP is given a Peerage, they cannot continue to be an MP. MPs are elected. Lords are not. So an MP offered a lordship right now would have to stand down if they accepted, triggering a by-election in their seat that... well. That anyone could win, couldn't they? Ordinarily. Except Labour's shadow is growing, isn't it? I don't suppose Sunak would be all that happy about losing, for example, any Tory MPs nominated for a peerage right now.

What fun facts.

At 8.39am, Politics UK reveals an as-yet-unverified report that Nadine Dorries and Alok Sharma have been removed from Boris Johnson's honours list, and will go back to vetting.

(They also reveal that Big Dog's dad has been removed from the list, because nominating your dad for a Peerage is "inappropriate". Sorry, Bigger Dog. Apparently even corrupt ghoul Rishi Sunak has a limit to what open corruption he will allow, which is news to us all, most of all Rishi.)

10.41am

Nadine Dorries decides she will play to her strengths, and appear on TV to do some Public Speaking, which always goes well for her of course.

Nothing, let's remember, has been confirmed yet at all. But she's here to put people's minds at ease! No power-hungry status-chasing pink maniac, she! She is very clear in her aims.

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

Quite right, Nadine. That would be disastrous.

11.20am

Oh, it’s Tory think tank NRG’s conference in Doncaster today.  Gideon George Osborne, pig-stupid former Grand Vizier and idiot fail-heir to David "pig-fucker" Cameron, gives a speech.  Let's see some quotes!

On the Tories’ choices of chancellors since he personally fell on his sword over Brexit left the role:

“You can see when the partnership doesn’t work. The government's paralysed and the politics is terrible.”

Fair, but also you are a government, George.

On Tories who attack the civil service:

“We’re in charge of our country’s destiny. We should stop blaming others if we don’t get things right." 

... right. But you just... Uh.

On Tory culture warriors:

“It’s really important that the Conservative Party is excited about the country we aspire to lead… and doesn’t get in to ‘we’re against all these groups of people’. We’re the inclusive people.”

Well, points for clearing that absurdly low bar, I guess. Christ, I cannot BELIEVE Suella Braverman is making George fucking Osborne look good-by-comparison.

1pm

Ooh. Nadine's attempts to put minds at ease have inexplicably not worked, can't think why not. She's such a reassuring and charismatic speaker normally.

But the rumour is now FLYING about that Nadine has indeed been dropped from the honours list, and specifically because Sunak wants to avoid a by-election that will lose him more seats at a time when he is desperate for even a mat on the floor as long as it's blue.

Sorry, Nads. Still; this morning you were very clear that the constituency comes first, so I suppose that's okay. The priority now is that she MUST stay in position, so the Tories can keep their numbers steady. It is VITAL she remains an MP. Let's remember her exact words!

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

3.45pm

Nadine Dorries tweets her resignation.

The last thing she does as an MP is indeed to cause a by-election in her constituency.

3.50pm

Except this is Nadine Dorries we're talking about. She's found some flashy balls to juggle, look, and a boy to pour custard down her trousers.

Not five minutes after dropping the bombshell, she deletes the last tweet announcing her resignation, and tweets a new one.

The new tweet says, “it is now time for another to take the reins” as the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire.

The original tweet said, “it is now time for someone younger to take the reins.”

*

On Talk TV, Dorries says that "something significant did happen to change my mind", but doesn’t elaborate.

3.56pm

The whispers are whispering. The rumours are rumouring. The knives are sharpening.

Nadine's now-former seat is Mid-Bedfordshire, and has been Tory since 1929; a safe seat, which certainly explains how Nadine fucking Dorries managed to hold it for as long as she did.

An MP on the right of the Tory party says that if the Tories lose the Mid Bedfordshire by-election, it’ll open questions about Rishi Sunak's leadership CLOWNFALL 3: REVENGE OF BIG DOG LET'S GOOOOOO

3.57pm

Nadine Dorries is removed from the WhatsApp group.

I would love to know who leaked that image. I really should not have that image. Ah well. Now you do too.

4.12pm

Good tweet alert!

5.08pm

Phew! What a day. Let's see how Rishi's getting on.

He approves the rest of BoJo's honours list. Shall we take a look at our newly-honoured citizens? Shall we see what familiar names crop up?

Honours for staff at centre of Partygate Jack Doyle, Rosie Bate-Williams and Shelly Williams-Walker (and a lot of other terrible and disgraced people who were loyal to Johnson, and some of Carrie Antoinette’s friends).

Damehoods for Andrea Jenkyns and Priti Patel.

Knighthoods for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Conor Burns, and Michael Fabricant.

An OBE for Kelly Jo Dodge, Parliamentary hairdresser.

Also honours for Ben Houchen, currently at the heart of a media storm about dodgy property deals.  His huge regeneration project in Teesside is subject to a government investigation regarding the governance, finance and value for money.

*

(Interesting point – Tory MPs Allister Jack and Nigel Adams were offered peerages, but decided to wait, since accepting now would trigger by-elections.

Why were they offered at all, do you think?)

*

So … this means Michael Fabricant is now Sir Michael Fabricant.  Like, actually.  Genuinely.

Nice one, Rishi. Thank goodness you understand AIs.

5.44pm

The Guardian’s Pippa Crerar - journalist who brought down Big Dog one Partygate reveal at a time - tweets her guide to he honours list:

Martin Reynolds, former PPS, invited 200 officials to drinks in Downing St garden.  He told officials to "bring your own booze", later adding: "We seem to have got away with it".

Shelley Williams-Walker, getting a Damehood, was No 10 head of opps & now runs his office.  At No 10 party the night before Prince Philip's funeral she was dubbed "DJ SWW" for her banger playlist.

Jack Doyle & Rosie Bate-Williams, who get OBEs, were press spox who repeatedly denied the parties happened

Dan Rosenfield, who gets a peerage, quit in mass exodus of senior No 10 staff as anger over Partygate grew.  Former chief of staff faced reports he was among senior Downing Street officials who attended a Christmas quiz when restrictions were in place.

Shaun Bailey, who ran unsuccessfully for London mayor, gets a peerage, and Ben Mallett, a close friend of Carrie Antoinette's who ran Zac Goldsmith’s disastrous mayoral campaign, gets an OBE. Both are in this picture of a lockdown-flouting party at CCHQ:

What a sea of punchable faces.

7.58pm

But we've been so focused on Nadine! She's fucked up her juggling, look, but she's sliding around on the rollerskates, ever so distracting. But here's the thing, Tumblrs, here's the thing:

Among all of this, what's the Chief Clown doing?

The Privilege Committee reveals in their draft report that Boris Johnson misled Parliament, and recommends a sanction of more than 10 days.

Does that sound too little? Are you wishing it were smething more meaningful? Let me help put it in context.

This sanction would be enough to trigger a by-election in Johnson’s seat.

8.02pm

Boris Johnson

QUITS

as an MP

The committee said Johson had “impugned the integrity” of the House of Commons. Fascinating! I didn't know its honour had ever been pugned.

He accuses the inquiry of trying to “drive me out”!!!!

"It is very sad to be leaving parliament - at least for now - but above all I am bewildered and appalled that I can be forced out, anti-democratically, by a committee chaired and managed, by Harriet Harman, with such egregious bias".

Worth noting that the committee has a Conservative majority, mind. But you mustn't let things like facts get in the way of your feelings, BlowJo. You never have as a politician. Nor as a journalist, come to that.

(Also SIDE NOTE – “at least for now”??  What are you planning, Big Dog??  I suppose Nadine is leaving an empty seat...)

8.41pm

Christopher Hope of the Daily Telegraph reports he’s heard rumours of a THIRD Tory MP potentially resigning – and another Johnson loyalist at that. Lol. Trololol. Lmao, even. Perhaps rofl.

11.43pm

And finally, the day is wrapped up with the Guardian revealing their front cover for the following day:

Big Dog is OUT, hot trans bloke is IN.

Not a bad finish.

#asks #long post #politik #the adventures of big dog the clown

[pastelpressmachine]

Black Mirror’s Demon 79 and the Justification of Brown Feminine Rage (warning: spoilers)

What if intrusive thoughts can be valid, and it is okay, maybe even necessary to act on them sometimes? If violence isn’t the answer, why must it so often be the question? 

Set in Northern England, 1979,  “Demon 79″ is the final episode of Black Mirror’s sixth season. It follows Nida, a meek sales assistant with a mousy appearance, who is tasked with the most complicated and important mission: to save the world by taking the lives of three human sacrifices in the days leading up to May Day.

Champions of the extended metaphor, Black Mirror employ the talents of Anjana Vasan (an Indian-born, Singaporean-raised, and U.K.-based actress) who plays Nida Huq and Paapa Essiedu (an English actor of Ghanaian descent) who plays Gaap*, the demon Nida accidentally invokes upon finding a talisman that begins this stressful mission of her. Gaap, devilishly handsome and charming, trying to earn his “wings” and be initiated into demonhood reassures the panicking Nida that she is not going mad, she is not a bad person, and the people she is encouraged to kill are vetted through his soul-reading as deserving of death.

*Gaap is considered through stories of demonology and texts related to the Testament of Solomon to be the Prince of Hell, with angels as siblings and a penchant for manipulating women and rendering them infertile. 

Gaap adjusts his form to something more comfortable for Nida by changing into a look-a-like of Bobby Farrell from the famous disco-funk German-Caribbean vocal group known as Boney M. Having the representation of a demonic entity be a Black man while allowing him to manifest into a symbol of appeal for Nida turns the inherent vilification of Black men on its head without contributing to the hypersexualization of Black bodies. Gaap is never presented as a love interest for her, but viewers do get to see them develop a snarky back-and-forth. I almost never see Black and brown leads banter like this. 

Another reason I’m glad Gaap was not portrayed as a sinful symbol of sexual desire is because Indian women already have to navigate a shame-fueled purity culture, and I wouldn’t want to see her grapple with her feelings for someone who is not only outside of her race and religion, but isn’t human. Writers avoided the idea that to love Gaap was to love something forbidden in all possible ways. And we don’t need to see Black folks depicted as not-human. The history of both American cinema and politics has acted on that dangerous perception already. 

When I saw the opening scene of Nida with her wide eyes waking up to get ready for work, I recognized the doe-like innocence in her face as the one I have been raised to emulate. She looks so much like my mother 30 years ago. Minimal makeup, modest clothes, hair neat and tied back.

Moments of Nida’s inner demons being unleashed start off as fantasies she has. She is quietly scurrying through her life as an oppressed minority in 1970′s England, where xenophobia and racism showed up everywhere, from the actions of the British Nationalists to the microaggressions Nida faces at work for simply bringing her potent biryanis to the stock room and “stinking up the place”.

Indian women are some of the least visible in politics historically and presently because we are raised to not make a fuss of things, to be quiet and reserved and let white people act how they want towards us because we are guests in their countries, even when they’ve colonized and pillaged our own. I feel Nida’s pain as she thanks the white people around her for the bare minimum (allowing her an alternative place to eat, such as the basement - where she finds the talisman that changes her life) and avoids the confrontation and rage within her, even sighing in defeat at the NF* tag that has been spray-painted on her front door. 

*NF stands for the National Front, a far-right, fascist political party in the United Kingdom, founded in 1967. 

I crave catharsis for Nida. And for her late mother, whom she has a photo of in her apartment. She explains after the first sacrifice that her mother was perceived as crazy, and now Nida is afraid that people will think the same of her, and this time, because of what she’s done, it will be true. I wondered if Nida’s mom was called crazy because she had stood up for herself, reported abuse or harassment that was occurring within the Indian community itself or in her own home, or tried to leave Nida’s father. None of these scenarios would make the show seem like fiction at all, at least not for many of the South Asian women trapped by the chains of patriarchal ideals. 

There are moments where I am concerned Nida is enamored by Michael Smart, a white politician giving a campaign speech outside the store she works at, as if his mere acknowledgment of her existence without visible disgust is enough to make her heart flutter. Again, I enjoy seeing a Black and brown lead in this episode, and knowing that other viewers are getting to see the many instances of white culture that exposes the racist ignorance and unfair power structures that exist in western society, workplaces, and even the homes of white folks themselves. (I was so happy for little Laura to hear of what was done to her assailant).

When it comes to stopping the world from absolute destruction in a nuclear holocaust, the heroes have never really been people who look like Nida. (It is worth noting that the head writer for this episode was Bisha K. Ali, who also is the executive writer for Disney+’s Ms. Marvel and has tackled many of the same representation issues in her work). People like her don’t have the permission to be loud, angry, or violent without consequences, no matter how justified. Meanwhile, with unchecked authority, bombs go off and innocent people die and children cower in their beds and white men get to act on their worst traits and impulses, however sinful, with little to no accountability.

Even when Nida is being violent, it is for the greater good. Because it has to be. Even female rage has to serve a purpose for others. It cannot just be hers. If she’s going to be angry, she better be trying to solve crime or save the world. 

And through this most guttural and sometimes poisonous part of being a human, Gaap sees her. Maybe it’s because he has transformed in the image of Nida’s celebrity crush or maybe it’s truly the way in which he interacts with her, Gaap sees Nida. He recognizes the type of violence she would and would not indulge in. He tells her she should feel more at ease after killing the first sacrifice, a pedophile she clobbers with a brick before he falls into a river. He continuously recognizes her hesitation, and suggests “Dutch courage”, or booze before following through with the second kill. It is inappropriate in Indian culture for women to drink, which Nida notes when she tells Gaap she doesn’t. Then he asks her if she wants to, something, from the expression on Nida’s face, it doesn’t seem like she has ever been asked. 

Upon entering a pub full of (yes, all white) men, Nida is dismissed by the (also white) female bartender who looks just as irritated by her existence as her coworker Vicky, who had reported how unfair it was that she had to smell Nida’s lunches and endure the lingering scent at work. An older (also white) bartender (who might be the owner) takes her order with the same polite and quiet discomfort of her boss, who had presented her with the basement lunch “solution” to appease Vicky. It’s subtle but the approaches in which different age groups and genders of white English folk take with engaging with Nida demonstrate the variety of ways in which people of colour experience discrimination. At its worst, it is violent hate crimes and unjust legislation that mutates into full blown genocide. At its mildest, it’s passive aggression and strained tolerance. 

It’s more apparent with the second killing (of a man named Keith who killed his wife) that Nida does have the option to be as righteous as she wants to be, which is something I really appreciated about her character. Even if she was killing to prevent the literal apocalypse, and the clock was 6 minutes from midnight -- she must follow the cadence of at least one kill a day -- the moment she has to hear Keith’s justification for what he did and his attempt at absolving himself with the statement “I’m not a bad husband, but --” she swings a hammer at his head to shut him up. She then bashes his head in repeatedly, even to the point where Gaap is wincing at the sight. If this was just about killing people to stop a bigger disaster and loss of life, she wouldn’t be losing herself in the act like she did. 

The third and final kill occurred in the next few minutes, as Keith’s roommate, witnesses her trying to exit, which presents itself as problem in allowing her to continue with the mission if she’s arrested. It’s messy because it was fast, the least premeditated, and she doesn’t know who the man is or if he’d done anything as bad as the previous two skills. Because of this, she’s much more apologetic as the man dies, later finding out from Gaap he was Keith’s brother, Chris, an “ordinary” person who would not have been one of Nida’s choices. 

But as Gaap says, “What’s done is done”. And the three lines on the talisman should have disappeared indicating that Nida has fulfilled her duty. But it still has a line remaining, so a confused Gaap dials 666 (of course) on Nida’s rotary phone to explain the issue to his superiors. He tells Nida that Keith apparently didn’t count because he’s a murderer and anyone who’s been directly responsible for the death of another human being (not counting future deaths they might be responsible for) is off limits. Chris counted because his death still occurred just before midnight. 

Nida doesn’t snap psychologically and decide she enjoys this and is going to become a serial killer, which is a direction I find common in other Black Mirror episodes, where the white and/or male character loses it and/or goes on a killing spree. She grapples once more with her initial unwillingness to participate in this because even when given the go-ahead and to have the most reason to, she enters a mental boxing ring with her instinct v. culture v. morals. From my own experience and what I have seen in my own community, outward expression of rage is never the first emotion a woman reaches for...because she can’t always afford to in the way others can. 

“My whole life, I never wished harm on anyone.” 

Gaap tells her what’s at risk for him, and he describes a fate of punishment that she says sounds like her life now. She stands, empathizing with an actual demon, and deciding to continue with the mission. Gaap also reminds her this isn’t solely for him; she possessed a darkness within her that drew her to the talisman. So, he asks her, who pissed her off?

To Possette’s Shoes they go. 

Vicky, a prime choice for the grand finale, delegates the task of attending to the young girl Laura (from earlier) and her mother to Nida. Because the little girl creeps Vicky out. Gaap informs Nida that because she killed Laura’s dad, Laura doesn’t kill herself at 28 and instead goes to therapy, becomes a mother at 29, and a grandmother at 57. It’s a comforting thought amidst the mayhem of it all. 

Michael Smart makes an appearance once more, as his father and the boss’s father, are old college friends, and Nida’s boss had promised him a suit and shoes on the house. The boss unsurprisingly selects Vicky as the sales attendant, with Gaap grumbling to himself as Nida’s eyes go from ‘excited crush’ to just crushed. Her boss then chooses to notice the boxes on the floor from when Vicky could’ve been cleaning up and hisses at Nida, “Could you pick up the bloody mess?” This prompts Gaap to suggest the boss be the next to go. 

Nida moves on to cleaning up the boxes, eavesdropping on the conversation between Michael and Vicky. When Michael says he hopes he has her vote, she says she is siding with the National Front who she believes will help rid the town of all the pesky foreigners. And then Michael Smart reveals himself to be what a lot of politicians are: covert bigots. He explains to Vicky that an explicitly xenophobic campaign would be too polarizing, so you have to elect a moderate who can win over the masses and put the evil plans in motion. (Sound familiar?) 

There is a subliminal language spoken among white supremacists, even if they smile politely at people who look like me and Nida. And this revelation that she witnesses presents an even more justifiable option for Nida’s third kill. 

She asks Gaap to give her information about Michael’s future, which he hesitantly reveals to her. Michael Smart wins the election, eventually becomes prime minister, and leads a new world order built on white supremacy. Nida decides he is the final target, but Gaap tells her he wouldn’t be the right choice because the Satanic world he comes from is a fan of his work and everyone there would want Michael to be able to facilitate the upcoming deaths that occur as a result of him first winning the election to become a member of Parliament. 

But Nida is set on him, or no one, giving Gaap the ultimatum to get on board or risk his own banishment after failing his initiation. 

Meanwhile, a police investigation occurs which leads to the bar staff identifying Nida as a “muttering Indian woman” who was at the bar the night Keith died. Len Fisher of Tipley Police arrives at Nida’s apartment, as part of routine questioning, and she invites him in, with Gaap’s suggestion to kill him. 

Fisher is the first white person to speak to her as person, too, even though he’s there on the premise of Nida being a potential suspect. Maybe this is more covert trust-building behaviour, maybe as a cop, maybe as someone generally suspicious of people of colour. He is the most mild-mannered, middle-man in the whole story. 

Fisher follows Nida who follows Smart after his speech at town hall. This is where I’m a little surprised but not displeased. The other episodes end with something sad, violent, and/or redemptive. Nida gets a bit of everything, but as with all things Black Mirror, not in the way you’d expect. In society, Nida may be reduced to a mad woman telling an insensible story, enduring the same perception people had of her mother. But society doesn’t last long, and she walks off into a kind of nuclear, fiery sunset with a new friend. 

The deadline for the sacrifices had been May Day, also known as Workers’ Day or International Workers’ Day to commemorate the struggles and gains made by workers and the labour movement. Nida, representing intersectional identities of the working class (immigrants, women, people of colour), was not listened to or believed, and the world ended because of it. Her weapon of choice had been a hammer, a tool meant for building that was used for destructive but necessary purposes. This could be a reference to the Communist party’s symbol of a hammer and sickle, which represents proletarian solidarity. The meaning of the episode, particularly its ending, captures the significance of the working class and how our world relies on them to function and last. When their efforts are stunted, their sacrifices are in vain, or they are not heard, the world ends. 

#black mirror #demon 79 #tv series review #black mirror season 6 #paapa essiedu #digital illustration #fanart #commissions open #anjana vasan

[crystalkleure]

I have multiple broken teeth due to the fact that my wisdom teeth came in sideways and have progressively been pushing all of my other teeth together more and more until they crack due to a combination of the pressure and a fucked up dental procedure I had years ago [when I was a minor and had no say in whether or not it happened, my mom was the one who signed off on it and I STILL actually don’t even know exactly what the fuck they did to my fucking teeth] so I am in horrible pain but can’t afford to go to the dentist, and even if I could, my mother will not take me or even allow me to go myself if there is any way she can possibly stop me.

My coping tactic of choice today is going to be to think really hard about anime and shitpost on Tumblr dot com.

#There are just straight-up chunks missing out of several of my teeth. I have literally been spitting out Fragments Of Tooth. #One of my molars has been pushed completely sideways and is now burying itself in the floor of my mouth under my tongue #I think it's about to expose the root #And my mother has the fun and healthy tendency of going into Extreme and Aggressive Denial about Any Problem Whatsoever #Like she'll literally just vehemently gaslight everyone around her and insist that The Problem isn't even real #Other people are simply overreacting or deliberately trying to make her life harder don't you know! #There are rotting holes in the floor walls and ceiling of this house and she keeps just stacking furniture on them or painting over them #And then insisting They Don't Exist and Violently Shooting The Messenger when someone tries to tell her those problems aren't solved #This killed her cat. He was sick for months and I tried to tell her she needed to take him to the vet. #She refused; said he'd be fine; and then ripped into me about acting so ~holier than thou~ because I...was worried about him #She acted like I was shaming her and turned Not Taking Him To The Vet into a way to make some kind of point to me about how -- #-- She Was Right And I Was Wrong and there is nothing wrong and I was just being a melodramatic little bitch. #That animal that I loved suffered for months and then died. #She's trying to make the same fucking thing happen to me. I say I want to go to the doctor because my horrible health is getting -- #-- intolerable and I guess I'll just open a GoFundMe or something; and she won't even let me out of the house or let me use the phone. #Trying to prove to me that I'll be fine and I'm just being a hypochondriac who enjoys making life more difficult for her bc I'm evil. #Yeah I don't know what to do. I have visible gaping holes in my teeth. You can SEE the fucked up wisdom teeth and the sideways molar too. #I am in so much pain #.It speaks

[gliphyartfan]

Another small bit! Just a quick one!

@yandere-linked-universe @linked-heroes @imprisioned-in-the-hole @stars-for-thought @ice-cream-writes-stuff

Time finds bugs annoying. Especially when they get close to their betters.

'Really, I'm alright!'

'It just seems a shame that a young lady like yourself would be alone like this.'

'I'm waiting for my friend.'

'You've been here for some time, let me keep you company just to be safe.'

'No thank you, and please don't touch me.'

'You-ack!'

'What seems to be the problem?'

' Link!' Time raised an eyebrow at his name, immediately on alert.

He had been searching for her after the crowd swept her away, it was only luck that he managed to find a merchant who had spotted someone with her description heading the opposite direction from the others.

And what does he find when he reaches her?

An insect that dared act familiar with her.

Now, normally he would just take her away without a word,

But it was his name that caught his attention.

She never used their proper name when in another hero's era to avoid confusion. It was agreed that only when it was necessary was she to use their names outside of their eras or when it was simply the group around.

But here she was using it.

Which meant she was distressed enough to use it.

Which meant the insect whose wrist he caught was a threat.

Threats were not wanted near their angel.

'I've been looking for you (y/n),' he said gently, reaching out with his other hand and brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face.

'I got lost...' she mumbled, looking down in embarrassment.

'Well now I found you, that's all that matters.' And really, it was all that mattered.

He found her, so she was safe.

He smiled at her, and only after she looked back up and smiled at him did he finally look at his struggling captive.

'And why were you bothering her?' He asked, not even phased by way the insect pulled at his hold.

'I didn't know she was with someone!' He answered with a strained voice as the grip on his wrist tightened.

'That's a lie!' (y/n) exclaimed, glaring at the bug, more confident now that he was there. (As she should.)

'I told you three times I was waiting for a friend! You just wouldn't leave me alone!'

At least Time could tell the others that the slime of a man had three chances to escape punishment. Shame the fool of a man didn't listen.

'How was I supposed to know-Urk!!' The insect tried to pull his wrist free, but Time simply tightened his grip further.

'If she told you she was waiting for a friend,' he said coldly. 'Then it stands to reason that she was waiting for a friend, and I'm here, so she was telling the truth, understand?'

'Y-Yes sir!' Time stared at the insect for a moment, watching as he struggled against his grip, before letting go.

He and (y/n) watched as he fell to the floor, gripping his wrist, scrambling to his feet and running off into the alleys.

They watched him disappear before (y/n) sighed in relief.

'That was annoying.' She mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck.

'And this is why we stick together.' Time said sternly, relaxing the moment her eyes looked up.

'I know, I'm sorry.' He huffed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

'All is forgiven, it wasn't your fault.' He smiled at her gently.

The smile he received was as beautiful as always.

'Let's return to the others shall we?'

'Hm!'

He began to guide her out of the alley they were in.

...But not before he glanced in the direction the insect went.

He really didn't care much for bugs.

--

Later that night

--

A man ran through the alleyways, gripping his wrist.

'That bastard! Bet she was his whore!' The shady man growled to himself.

He slowed to a walk, rubbing his wrist.

'Bastard was strong.'

He flexed his hand and decided to find someone else.

He decided to head deeper into the outer area when he heard something.

It was a deep low guttural sound.

A growl.

And it was coming from behind him.

He turned around and a massive wolf was slowly stalking toward him, teeth bared and eyes glittering under the light of the lanterns.

How did such a beast make it's way this deep into town?

The shady man took a nervous step back, then two, before darting down the alley, the beast giving chase.

He didn't know how long the wolf chased him, but a couple of turns and a few items knocked to the floor, he seemed to have gotten away.

(He didn't notice how the Wolf stopped chasing him after the first corner, staring after him before turning around and running back into the shadows)

'What a fucking day.'

He walks, catching his breath, grumbling to himself when he felt his stomach gurgle in hunger.

Deciding to forget the wolf and focus on his next meal, he scanned the night crowd for an easy mark.

He found one in the form of a youngster being picked up by the collar of his shirt by a slightly older man, wallet being flung around as the youngster flailed his arms.

'Lemme go!'

'Give me back my wallet!'

'Stop picking me up!'

'Stop stealing my wallet and I'll stop picking you up brat!'

'Stop making it easy!'

'You-!' The two began to argue, the youngster waving his arms around, the wallet in his hand slipping from his grasp and flying into the air, when it landed, the reds, purples, and blues of rupees glittered on the cobblestone.

'Look what you've done!' The older man shouted, dropping the youngster and kneeling to pick up the rupees.

'You were shaking me!'

'Brat-!'

The shady man ignored the arguing duo as he stared at the rupees in greed, but what really caught his eye was a twinkle of gold in between the blues and purples.

With barely a thought, he ran forward, and snatched the glinting piece of gold with a handful of rupees before sprinting away.

'HEY!!'

The shady man smirked as he ran back into the alleyway, the feeling of success running through his veins.

Finally, his night was turning around!

...

(He never noticed the way the two individuals picking up the remaining rupees were calmly staring at his retreating form.)

The shady man kept running until he made it back to his hole in the wall, making sure he wasn't seen.

Once inside, he opened his hand and grinned as he saw at least 300 rupees in his hand, but it was the gold glinting among the rupees that he was excited for.

It was a ring.

A ring that was covered in jewels. Even a lowly thief such as himself could tell that such a piece of jewelry was worth more than a small town could afford.

This is the score he was waiting for, this is what would set him up for life.

His mind swirling with thoughts, already imagining the things he would buy with the money he made off this one ring.

He took the ring and held it close to his face, gazing at the gems embedded into the gold.

Gazing deeply at each glinting gem.

The craftsmanship was exquisite.

It was hypnotic in way.

It was almost mesmerizing how the colors glinted even in the dark.

It was almost thoughtless how he let the rupees slip from his hand and fall to the ground.

It was rather foolish really,

How he slowly.

Began.

To put.

The ring on.

...

...

'We're back!'

'Guys where were you? You almost missed dinner!' (y/n) teased as the three missing heroes made their way into their rented room.

Warriors smirked at her. 'Apologies love, we got held up because SOMEONE tried to snatch my wallet and buy more than we needed.' Wind stuck his tongue out at Warriors.

'Stop making it so easy to steal it!' Wars playfully swatted at him, Wind dodging with a laugh and moving to take his seat next to (y/n) on the bed.

'Rather fortunate that the cooks were willing to let Wild use the kitchen.' Sky commented happily, grabbing his plate of food from Wild and sitting on his corner of the bed.

'The only good thing about this place really.' Legend grunted, sitting next to Time, his own plate on his lap.

'It's not all that bad if they were willing to let him cook.' (y/n) smiled, nudging Wind with her shoulder.

'Now what's this about a stolen wallet?'

'I assume there were no problems?' Time quietly inquired as Wind began to distract (y/n) with a exaggerated re-telling of their outing, with Warriors correcting him every other sentence.

Twilight smiled sharply. ' Rather dull actually. That reminds me.' He reached into his pouch.

'Vet can have this back.' Legend raised an eyebrow and held his hand out.

Twilight deposited the bloodied ring in his palm.

'At least you had the mind to grab it before some worthless fool did.' He sniffed, dropping the ring into his own pouch without a care.

'Wouldn't want to lose such a useful item anytime soon.' Twilight smirked, Legend snorted.

'If it goes the way it should, they should find his remains tomorrow afternoon.' Time mused, taking a sip from his cup.

'We'll be gone in the morning so it's pointless to care.' Legend huffed, turned away and focusing on the conversation and his food.

'I suppose so.' Time chuckled, he looked back at Twilight and nodded. 'Go eat, excellent work boys.'

Twilight gave a cheeky salute and took his place next to (y/n), Wild handing him his plate.

Time watched them interact, watched their angel laugh at the sailor's dramatic tale, the events of that afternoon nothing but a fading memory in her mind.

Good. Insects weren't worth her time.

Time took a bite from his plate and smirked.

Delicious as always.

#timeline two au #linked universe #linkeduniverse #yandere linked universe #lu #lu time #y/n #lu legend #lu wind #lu warriors #lu twilight

[antiporn-activist]

The Children of Pornhub

Why does Canada allow this company to profit off videos of exploitation and assault?

By Nicholas Kristof, Opinion Columnist, Dec. 4, 2020, New York Times

This article contains descriptions of sexual assault. It’s also really long.

Pornhub prides itself on being the cheery, winking face of naughty, the website that buys a billboard in Times Square and provides snow plows to clear Boston streets. It donates to organizations fighting for racial equality and offers steamy content free to get people through Covid-19 shutdowns.

Yet there’s another side of the company: Its site is infested with rape videos. It monetizes child rapes, revenge pornography, spy cam videos of women showering, racist and misogynist content, and footage of women being asphyxiated in plastic bags. A search for “girls under18” (no space) or “14yo” leads in each case to more than 100,000 videos. Most aren’t of children being assaulted, but too many are.

After a 15-year-old girl went missing in Florida, her mother found her on Pornhub — in 58 sex videos. Sexual assaults on a 14-year-old California girl were posted on Pornhub and were reported to the authorities not by the company but by a classmate who saw the videos. In each case, offenders were arrested for the assaults, but Pornhub escaped responsibility for sharing the videos and profiting from them.

Pornhub is like YouTube in that it allows members of the public to post their own videos. A great majority of the 6.8 million new videos posted on the site each year probably involve consenting adults, but many depict child abuse and nonconsensual violence. Because it’s impossible to be sure whether a youth in a video is 14 or 18, neither Pornhub nor anyone else has a clear idea of how much content is illegal.

Unlike YouTube, Pornhub allows these videos to be downloaded directly from its website. So even if a rape video is removed at the request of the authorities, it may already be too late: The video lives on as it is shared with others or uploaded again and again.

“Pornhub became my trafficker,” a woman named Cali told me. She says she was adopted in the United States from China and then trafficked by her adoptive family and forced to appear in pornographic videos beginning when she was 9. Some videos of her being abused ended up on Pornhub and regularly reappear there, she said.

“I’m still getting sold, even though I’m five years out of that life,” Cali said. Now 23, she is studying in a university and hoping to become a lawyer — but those old videos hang over her.

“I may never be able to get away from this,” she said. “I may be 40 with eight kids, and people are still masturbating to my photos.”

“You type ‘Young Asian’ and you can probably find me,” she added.

Actually, maybe not. Pornhub recently was offering 26,000 videos in response to that search. That doesn’t count videos that show up under “related searches” that Pornhub suggests, including “young tiny teen,” “extra small petite teen,” “tiny Asian teen” or just “young girl.” Nor does it necessarily count videos on a Pornhub channel called “exploited teen Asia.”

I came across many videos on Pornhub that were recordings of assaults on unconscious women and girls. The rapists would open the eyelids of the victims and touch their eyeballs to show that they were nonresponsive.

Pornhub profited this fall from a video of a naked woman being tortured by a gang of men in China. It is monetizing video compilations with titles like “Screaming Teen,” “Degraded Teen” and “Extreme Choking.” Look at a choking video and it may suggest also searching for “She Can’t Breathe.”

It should be possible to be sex positive and Pornhub negative.

Pornhub declined to make executives available on the record, but it provided a statement. “Pornhub is unequivocally committed to combating child sexual abuse material, and has instituted a comprehensive, industry-leading trust and safety policy to identify and eradicate illegal material from our community,” it said. Pornhub added that any assertion that the company allows child videos on the site “is irresponsible and flagrantly untrue.”

II.

At 14, Serena K. Fleites was an A student in Bakersfield, Calif., who had never made out with a boy. But in the eighth grade she developed a crush on a boy a year older, and he asked her to take a naked video of herself. She sent it to him, and this changed her life.

He asked for another, then another; she was nervous but flattered. “That’s when I started getting strange looks in school,” she remembered. He had shared the videos with other boys, and someone posted them on Pornhub.

Fleites’s world imploded. It’s tough enough to be 14 without having your classmates entertain themselves by looking at you naked, and then mocking you as a slut. “People were texting me, if I didn’t send them a video, they were going to send them to my mom,” she said.

The boy was suspended, but Fleites began skipping class because she couldn’t bear the shame. Her mother persuaded Pornhub to remove the videos, and Fleites switched schools. But rumors reached the new school, and soon the videos were uploaded again to Pornhub and other websites.

Fleites quarreled with her mother and began cutting herself. Then one day she went to the medicine cabinet and took every antidepressant pill she could find.

Three days later, she woke up in the hospital, frustrated to be still alive. Next she hanged herself in the bathroom; her little sister found her, and medics revived her.

As Fleites spiraled downward, a friend introduced her to meth and opioids, and she became addicted to both. She dropped out of school and became homeless.

At 16, she advertised on Craigslist and began selling naked photos and videos of herself. It was a way to make a bit of money, and maybe also a way to punish herself. She thought, “I’m not worth anything any more because everybody has already seen my body,” she told me.

Those videos also ended up on Pornhub. Fleites would ask that they be removed. They usually would be, she says — but then would be uploaded again. One naked video of her at 14 had 400,000 views, she says, leaving her afraid to apply for fast-food jobs for fear that someone would recognize her.

So today Fleites, 19, off drugs for a year but unemployed and traumatized, is living in her car in Bakersfield, along with three dogs that have proved more loyal and loving than the human species. She dreams of becoming a vet technician but isn’t sure how to get there. “It’s kind of hard to go to school when you’re living in a car with dogs,” she said.

“I was dumb,” she acknowledged, noting that she had never imagined that the videos could be shared online. “It was one small thing that a teenager does, and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger.

“A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

III.

The problem goes far beyond one company. Indeed, a rival of Pornhub, XVideos, which arguably has even fewer scruples, may attract more visitors. Depictions of child abuse also appear on mainstream sites like Twitter, Reddit and Facebook. And Google supports the business models of companies that thrive on child molestation.

Google returns 920 million videos on a search for “young porn.” Top hits include a video of a naked “very young teen” engaging in sex acts on XVideo along with a video on Pornhub whose title is unprintable here.

I asked the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to compile the number of images, videos and other content related to child sexual exploitation reported to it each year. In 2015, it received reports of 6.5 million videos or other files; in 2017, 20.6 million; and in 2019, 69.2 million.

Facebook removed 12.4 million images related to child exploitation in a three-month period this year. Twitter closed 264,000 accounts in six months last year for engaging in sexual exploitation of children. By contrast, Pornhub notes that the Internet Watch Foundation, an England-based nonprofit that combats child sexual abuse imagery, reported only 118 instances of child sexual abuse imagery on its site over almost three years, seemingly a negligible figure. “Eliminating illegal content is an ongoing battle for every modern content platform, and we are committed to remaining at the forefront,” Pornhub said in its statement.

The Internet Watch Foundation couldn’t explain why its figure for Pornhub is so low. Perhaps it’s because people on Pornhub are inured to the material and unlikely to report it. But if you know what to look for, it’s possible to find hundreds of apparent child sexual abuse videos on Pornhub in 30 minutes. Pornhub has recently offered playlists with names including “less than 18,” “the best collection of young boys” and “under- - age.”

Congress and successive presidents have done almost nothing as this problem has grown. The tech world that made it possible has been mostly passive, in a defensive crouch. But pioneering reporting in 2019 by my Times colleagues has prodded Congress to begin debating competing strategies to address child exploitation.

Concerns about Pornhub are bubbling up. A petition to shut the site down has received 2.1 million signatures. Senator Ben Sasse, a Nebraska Republican, called on the Justice Department to investigate Pornhub. PayPal cut off services for the company, and credit card companies have been asked to do the same. An organization called Traffickinghub, led by an activist named Laila Mickelwait, documents abuses and calls for the site to be shut down. Twenty members of Canada’s Parliament have called on their government to crack down on Pornhub, which is effectively based in Montreal.

“They made money off my pain and suffering,” an 18-year-old woman named Taylor told me. A boyfriend secretly made a video of her performing a sex act when she was 14, and it ended up on Pornhub, the police confirmed. “I went to school the next day and everybody was looking at their phones and me as I walked down the hall,” she added, weeping as she spoke. “They were laughing.”

Taylor said she has twice attempted suicide because of the humiliation and trauma. Like others quoted here, she agreed to tell her story and help document it because she thought it might help other girls avoid suffering as she did.

IV.

Pornhub is owned by Mindgeek, a private pornography conglomerate with more than 100 websites, production companies and brands. Its sites include Redtube, Youporn, XTube, SpankWire, ExtremeTube, Men.com, My Dirty Hobby, Thumbzilla, PornMD, Brazzers and GayTube. There are other major players in porn outside the Mindgeek umbrella, most notably XHamster and XVideos, but Mindgeek is a porn titan. If it operated in another industry, the Justice Department could be discussing an antitrust case against it.

Pornhub and Mindgeek also stand out because of their influence. One study this year by a digital marketing company concluded that Pornhub was the technology company with the third greatest-impact on society in the 21st century, after Facebook and Google but ahead of Microsoft, Apple and Amazon.

Nominally based in Luxembourg for tax reasons, Mindgeek is a private company run from Montreal. It does not disclose who owns it, but it is led by Feras Antoon and David Tassillo, both Canadians, who declined to be interviewed.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada calls himself a feminist and has been proud of his government’s efforts to empower women worldwide. So a question for Trudeau and all Canadians: Why does Canada host a company that inflicts rape videos on the world?

Mindgeek’s moderators are charged with filtering out videos of children, but its business model profits from sex videos starring young people.

“The goal for a content moderator is to let as much content as possible go through,” a former Mindgeek employee told me. He said he believed that the top executives weren’t evil but were focused above all on maximizing revenue.

While Pornhub would not tell me how many moderators it employs, I interviewed one who said that there are about 80 worldwide who work on Mindgeek sites (by comparison, Facebook told me it has 15,000 moderators). With 1.36 million new hours of video uploaded a year to Pornhub, that means that each moderator would have to review hundreds of hours of content each week.

The moderators fast forward through videos, but it’s often difficult to assess whether a person is 14 or 18, or whether torture is real or fake. Most of the underage content involves teenagers, the moderator I spoke with said, but some comes from spy cams in toilets or changing rooms and shows children only 8 to 12.

“The job in itself is soul-destroying,” the moderator said.

Pornhub appears to be increasingly alarmed about civil or criminal liability. Lawyers are circling, and nine women sued the company in federal court after spy cam videos surfaced on Pornhub. The videos were shot in a locker room at Limestone College in South Carolina and showed women showering and changing clothes.

Executives of Pornhub appear in the past to have assumed that they enjoyed immunity under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, which protects internet platforms on which members of the public post content. But in 2018 Congress limited Section 230 so that it may not be enough to shield the company, leading Mindgeek to behave better.

It has doubled the number of moderators in the last couple of years, the moderator told me, and this year Pornhub began voluntarily reporting illegal material to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. After previously dragging its feet in removing videos of children and nonconsensual content, Pornhub now is responding more rapidly.

It has also compiled a list of banned content. I obtained a copy of this list, and it purports to bar videos with terms or themes like “rape,” “preteen,” “pedophilia” and “bestiality” (it helpfully clarifies that this “includes eels, fish, octopus, insects”). Diapers are OK “if no scatophilia.” Mutilation depends on context but “cannot depict severing parts of the body.”

So while it is now no longer possible to search on Pornhub in English using terms like “underage” or “rape,” the company hasn’t tried hard to eliminate such videos. A member called “13yoboyteen” is allowed to post videos. A search for “r*pe,” turns up 1,901 videos. “Girl with braces” turns up 1,913 videos and suggests also trying “exxxtra small teens.” A search for “13yo” generates 155,000 videos. To be clear, most aren’t of 13-year-olds, but the fact that they’re promoted with that language seems to reflect an effort to attract pedophiles.

Moreover, some videos seem at odds with the list of banned content. “Runaway Girl Gets Ultimatum, Anal or the Streets” is the title of one Pornhub video. Another user posts videos documenting sex with teenage girls as they weep, protest and cry out in pain.

While Pornhub is becoming more careful about videos of potentially litigious Americans, it remains cavalier about overseas victims. One Indonesian video is titled “Junior High School Girl After Class” and shows what appears to be a young teenager having sex. A Chinese sex video, just taken down, was labeled: “Beautiful High School Girl Is Tricked by Classmates and Taken to the Top of a Building Where She Is Insulted and Raped.”

“They’re making money off the worst moment in my life, off my body,” a Colombian teenager who asked to be called Xela, a nickname, told me. Two American men paid her when she was 16 for a sexual encounter that they filmed and then posted on Pornhub. She was one of several Pornhub survivors who told me they had thought of or attempted suicide.

In the last few days as I was completing this article, two new videos of prepubescent girls being assaulted were posted, along with a sex video of a 15-year-old girl who was suicidal after it went online. I don’t see how good-faith moderators could approve any of these videos.

V.

“It’s always going to be online,” Nicole, a British woman who has had naked videos of herself posted and reposted on Pornhub, told me. “That’s my big fear of having kids, them seeing this.”

That’s a recurring theme among survivors: An assault eventually ends, but Pornhub renders the suffering interminable.

Naked videos of Nicole at 15 were posted on Pornhub. Now 19, she has been trying for two years to get them removed.

“Why do videos of me from when I was 15 years old and blackmailed, which is child porn, continuously [get] uploaded?” Nicole protested plaintively to Pornhub last year, in a message. “You really need a better system. … I tried to kill myself multiple times after finding myself reuploaded on your website.”

Nicole’s lawyer, Dani Pinter, says there are still at least three naked videos of Nicole at age 15 or 16 on Pornhub that they are trying to get removed.

“It’s never going to end,” Nicole said. “They’re getting so much money from our trauma.”

Pornhub has introduced software that supposedly can “fingerprint” rape videos and prevent them from being uploaded again. But Vice showed how this technology is easily circumvented on Pornhub.

One Pornhub scandal involved the Girls Do Porn production company, which recruited young women for clothed modeling gigs and then pushed them to perform in sex videos, claiming that the videos would be sold only as DVDs in other countries and would never go online. Reassured that no one would ever know, some of the women agreed — and then were shattered when the footage was aggressively marketed on Pornhub.

Girls Do Porn was prosecuted for sex trafficking and shut down. But those videos continue to surface and resurface on Pornhub; last time I checked, videos of six victims of Girls Do Porn were on Pornhub, which continues to profit from them.

One of the Girls Do Porn women I saw on Pornhub is now dead. She was murdered at 20, allegedly by an angry ex-boyfriend who is about to go on trial. I’m not disclosing her name because she should be remembered as a vibrant college athlete, and not for a sex video that represented her most mortifying moment.

VI.

So what’s the solution?

I had expected the survivors to want to shut down Pornhub and send its executives to prison. Some did, but others were more nuanced. Lydia, now 20, was trafficked as a child and had many rape videos posted on the site. “My stomach hurts all the time” from the tension, she told me, but she doesn’t want to come across as hostile to porn itself.

“I don’t want people to hear ‘No porn!’” Lydia told me. “It’s more like, ‘Stop hurting kids.’”

Susan Padron told me that she had assumed that pornography was consensual, until a boyfriend filmed her in a sex act when she was 15 and posted it on Pornhub. She has struggled since and believes that only people who have confirmed their identities should be allowed to post videos.

Jessica Shumway, who was trafficked and had a customer post a sex video on Pornhub, agrees: “They need to figure out who’s underage in the videos and that there’s consent from everybody in it.”

I asked Leo, 18, who had videos of himself posted on Pornhub when he was 14, what he suggested.

“That’s tough,” he said. “My solution would be to leave porn to professional production companies,” because they require proof of age and consent.

Right now, those companies can’t compete with mostly free sites like Pornhub and XVideos.

“Pornhub has already destroyed the business model for pay sites,” said Stoya, an adult film actress and writer. She, too, thinks all platforms — from YouTube to Pornhub — should require proof of consent to upload videos of private individuals.

Columnists are supposed to offer answers, but I struggle with solutions. If Pornhub curated videos more rigorously, the most offensive material might just move to the dark web or to websites in less regulated countries. Yet at least they would then not be normalized on a mainstream site.

More pressure and less impunity would help. We’re already seeing that limiting Section 230 immunity leads to better self-policing.

And call me a prude, but I don’t see why search engines, banks or credit card companies should bolster a company that monetizes sexual assaults on children or unconscious women. If PayPal can suspend cooperation with Pornhub, so can American Express, Mastercard and Visa.

I don’t see any neat solution. But aside from limiting immunity so that companies are incentivized to behave better, here are three steps that would help: 1.) Allow only verified users to post videos. 2.) Prohibit downloads. 3.) Increase moderation.

These measures wouldn’t kill porn or much bother consumers of it; YouTube thrives without downloads. Siri Dahl, a prominent porn star who does business with Pornhub, told me that my three proposals are “insanely reasonable.”

The world has often been oblivious to child sexual abuse, from the Catholic Church to the Boy Scouts. Too late, we prosecute individuals like Jeffrey Epstein or R. Kelly. But we should also stand up to corporations that systematically exploit children. With Pornhub, we have Jeffrey Epstein times 1,000.

#if you use pornhub you're complicit in this #sorry i don't make the rules

[anonymousbaev]

Rfa + minor trio being jealous seeing mc with another member pls. ty if u do :DDD

*Angst* RFA+Minor Trio being jealous seeing Mc dating another member.

Enjoy! (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)    *Angst and NSFW warning*

☆Yoosung☆

"Congratulations..." They were the words he sent in the chatroom when you and Seven made it official.

Only he knew they were empty words though.

He really liked you, hoping to confess to you one day. Sometimes he had even imagined having a family with you.

But that was just how deeply he loved you.

Somedays he would just wish you'd broken up with Seven and ran into his widely opened arms.

Somedays he would wonder if it would've been him by your side if he had confessed his love a day sooner.

He always cursed himself out for thinking that way afterwards though.

He should be happy.

He has to be happy, for his two precious friends.

He avoided you and Seven for months, years... putting on a bitter smile when he had run into you at a RFA party occasionally.

It felt like he was trapped in a nightmare, he knew he had to get his feelings over with. But he just couldn't let you go so easily...

It wasn't until Seven proposed to you, in front of all the guests and members at the party.

He kept repeating the words in his head, "Please say no, please say no, please say no..."

But of course, you agreed and Yoosung sent you both his second congrats.

A few years later he started dating a girl he met at his vet.

Yoosung eventually got married to her and he was able to treat you and Seven the way he had before everything.

Yoosung and his new wife would never have the same connection he did with you though.

I mean she didn't have to go through getting compared with Rika.

He was happy with her, and you were happy with Seven.

He told himself, he was content with his life. And, he eventually came to believe it.

☕️ Jaehee ☕️

When Jaehee found out about your relationship with Zen through the radio, she joked that she was offended she had to find out through the internet and not personally by you or Zen.

She was confused about her feelings at first, she knew she was feeling jealous... but towards who?

She brushed off her feelings, convincing herself it was a neutral fangirl jealousy.

That wasn't until she found out how Zen broke your heart during an argument and you stayed at her house.

She felt so angry, how could he do that to you? He should've cherished you, loved you, because that's what you deserved-

That's when she realized, those feelings... weren't towards Zen but towards you.

Without even realizing it, her feelings for you have gotten so deep, she fell in love with you.

But it was too late when she did, because you were able to make up with Zen and you even told her you were going to get married to him.

That officially broke her.

She kept a straight face, continuing to work at her café for 2 years.

That was when you announced your pregnancy and even her hard metaled heart delicately snapped.

She cried silently in her house as she read your chats.

"Why am I crying?... I should be happy for her..." she repeated those words as she cried herself to sleep.

The next day she told the RFA she was going to leave, in order to travel the world to further her knowledge in her business.

You were sad, everyone was. But she promised to keep in touch.

She was able to keep her promise for a year. Until she fell out of touch with everyone, even you. And you used to be her best friend...

You were upset, why did she suddenly block you out of her life?

But only Jaehee and god would know how you had unknowingly broke her heart, because you never heard from her again.

♬ Zen ♬

Why did it have to be that trust fund kid, out of everyone else?

Himself for example... either way he just wanted you to be happy.

But sometimes he would wonder, if he had gone more less with those flirtatious jokes, would it be him next to you?

Did you think his flirts were nothing but a casual way of joking like Jumin told you?

Now only he would know, that he was being serious. That all those 'lighthearted' flirts sincerely came from his heart.

The way you were strong enough to have everyone open up to you, and the way you sincerely cared for everyone of them.

He fell in love with you, and he knew he would never be able to find another person like you.

But he tried his best to get over you. He still wanted to remain friends at the very least.

If he wanted that, he had to accept your relationship with Jumin...

Zen tried to love someone else, a beautiful woman he had worked with in one of his movies.

But when he saw you come in to congratulate him as Jumin held your waist his heart broke.

Eventually though, he proposed to the woman and at the wedding he felt shame because in the church, at his wedding with someone that wasn’t you...

He thought you were the most beautiful woman there.

“Why are these feelings still lingering?!”

Years passed... later finding out his wife has had several affairs, but he wasn’t one to judge. When he still had you in his heart.

He lived his life solely for his career in a loveless marriage life, until he finally shattered. He couldn’t take these feelings anymore, and when he left, nobody has heard of him again.

♛ Jumin ♛ 

It seemed as if he was cursed.

Every woman he had fallen in love with, the only two woman he’d felt emotions to, they all belonged to Kim Jihyun.

Although he’d never showed it, when you and Jihyun announced your wedding, he was bitter, “Already? Did you two even get to know each other, after all that happened with Mint Eye?”

He drowned himself in wine, everyday. 

One day he even sat curled up on the floor as he soothed Elizabeth the 3rd in his arms as he whispered, “Nobody will take you from me...”

The past months he’d been out of character and he was aware of that.

Eventually, he was slowly able to return to his old self again but the only things that surrounded him in his life was his cat, work, and wine.

He never wanted to feel those emotions for you again because they were painful to get over. But had he truly, gotten over you?

He would’ve done everything to make you his if you didn’t belong to his best friend, and he knew V deserved his happy ending, after everything he had been through. 

But what about himself?

You had a feeling, something wasn’t right. Jumin was different. 

And everything poured out when all three of you went to get dinner, all the emotions stacked up spilled out in a single second.

The next morning you found yourself in Jumin’s bed as he slept next to you shirtless, with your clothes also coldly left on the floor, your heart dropped. 

Then, you looked to your left to find Jihyun also sleeping next to you.

That was the start of your relationship, all three of you came to the negotiation that the two men would share you, to which you gladly accepted, because it was your idea. 

You were sure it was a great idea because all three of you were totally content on it.

Others would point fingers, while some would worry, “Isn’t history repeating itself? Maybe not in the same way... but in a ominous way just like before. They’re dragging themselves into a toxic relationship again.”

You and the two friends didn’t care though, because all three of you was sure this was an absolute fantasy...

 👓 Saeyoung 👓 

With all the flirty jokes the two of you would send, everyone that had seen you and Saeyoung, they were sure you and he had a fling. 

That’s what Saeyoung thought as well, that there was something between the two of you, but you must’ve only seen him as a friend because he was paralyzed for minutes as he watched you in Zen’s apartment.

You and Zen knocked down furniture desperate to embrace one another as your lips pressed against his, eager for his touch.

When Zen turned you against the wall as his slender hands reached under your skirt, Saeyoung didn’t want to see anymore. 

He wanted to give you both the privacy, but it was also because he couldn’t bare the pain of watching you anymore.

That’s when he noticed Saeran behind him with his ice cream. “Was that Mc?”

Saeyoung nodded with a grin to act like he was fine as he tried getting back to work, Saeran rolled his eyes and threw away his finished ice cream in the trash.

That was when Saeyoung finally broke down, and he wasn’t sure why because he used to always tell himself he would be ready when this day came.

When he tried focusing on his work and it seemed impossible, Vanderwood offered him to come back to the agency. Saeyoung accepted the offer.

He grows further from the RFA and more immersed in his works, but still occasionally enters the chatroom to see how you’re doing.

His heart stings with a bitter smile when he sees the selfies Zen uploads with you and your son that has the same white hair and scarlet eyes as your now husband.

He’s happy to see you with a good life, a good life he thinks he was never capable of giving you...

🌚 Saeran 🌚 

When he came home and started to live with his twin he’d been separated from for years, it’d be a lie if he said it wasn’t uncomfortable living with you as well.

He barely knew you except for the fact that you were Saeyoung’s girlfriend.

That was until Saeyoung eventually had to get back to his hacking work after devoting his months of time to Saeran alone.

You started taking care of Saeran, and it was awkward at first because he didn’t want you anywhere near him. The first two months were full of him just screaming and attacking you.

But eventually he realized how patient, loving and sincerely caring you were.

You became the only person he wanted to be touched by, and he wanted to be the only person able to touch you.

Of course he’d never said anything because you were the girlfriend of his brother.

Sometimes you would even give him cuddles, only supposed to be friendly hugs but Saeran didn’t think the same, because he loved you. In a different way from how you loved him.

When he couldn’t trust himself from you anymore he told you to stop coming near him.

It hurt you, because you didn’t know why, but you agreed.

You and Saeyoung never noticed how painful it was for Saeran when you kissed, and hugged each other in front of him.

He sealed his emotions away... for the happiness of his twin, and you, because he knew damn well his brother was good at making you feel loved.

♧ V ♧ 

He saw you as an angel, one that’d helped him realize the toxic of his relationship with Rika, one that’d helped him realize he was capable of real love.

But he had felt lost when he knew that the person he would experience true love with would never be able to be you.

Because you were already with Jumin, and V would never interfere with that, Jumin was his best friend, and he knew how well Jumin cherished you as his wife.

Whenever the people around V would ask him when he would find a new lover, he brushed it off. Sometimes hinting that he would probably never.

They all assumed it was because he had never truly gotten over Rika, but little did they know he had already realized it was never love.

Yes, the lingering feeling of guilt may have been still over him, but you were the one in his heart. He always caught himself staring at you at parties.

V wanted to avoid these feelings because he knew the dangers of it.

He avoided you and Jumin as he focused on his art, and Jumin didn’t have the time because he was always busy with you or work.

You noticed Jumin and Jihyun slowly falling out of touch. So you arranged dinner at a restaurant.

You drank until you were drunk.

V chatted with Jumin, it was a neutral talk between friends. They decided to drink until their hearts desires that night.

V was eventually the last one half sober with his high drinking metabolism while Jumin fell drunk next to you on the table.

V rests his head on his arms as he admired you for what felt like hours. 

That was when he lightly placed his cold hands and lightly brushed your cheeks.

It was an selfish move, one that he would only know of. He softly apologized to the both of you and called Jumin’s driver to pick the two of you up before leaving.

The next morning, Jumin told you Jihyun had left to travel somewhere with the promise that he would be back one day, when he had gotten over his feelings. You and Jumin didn’t know what feelings he had been talking of but hoped he’d be back soon.

However the both of you gave up, when even phone calls wouldn’t reach him, and you were sure he’d never come back.

That was probably the first promise V gad ever broke.

🧸 Vanderwood 🧸 

Vanderwood didn’t think much of you, just the fact that you were Saeyoung’s girlfriend. 

But that was it, even when the two of you had occasionally lived together for a while when he was a “maid” for Saeyoung.

That was until he and Saeyoung came back from dangerous missions, wounds and scars all over their body, you would always scold them and treat their wounds.

The little actions you did for him fluttered his heart and he’d always feel envious seeing you with Saeyoung.

He drowned himself in work so he could distract himself from all the unnecessary feelings in his heart.

You would never have to find out about his feelings because there was no need.

You were as happy as you could be with Saeyoung and he didn’t need to ruin that.

He also didn’t really think he had a chance anyway.

But he knew what kind of dangerous job he and Saeyoung had. 

So sometimes he’d wished you had just ditched Saeyoung and met someone with a far more normal life so Vanderwood would have to stop worrying about your wellbeing.

But at the same time he was glad you were Saeyoung’s girlfriend so he could always watch you from close.

Although you would never be his, close was enough for him.

Masterlist

#mysme #mysme headcanons #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger jihyun kim #mystic messenger jihyun #mystic messenger baehee #mystic messenger saeyoung #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger luciel #mystic messenger seven #mystic messenger saeran #mystic messenger hyun #mystic messenger jaehee #mysme zen #mysme v #mysme saeran #mysme seven #mysme 707 #mysme jumin #mysme jaehee #mysme yoosung

[barbarasbae]

Waiting for You

Billy Hargrove x Reader 

(reader is implied to be bisexual) 

Word count: 2.2k 

Warnings: major character death(s), implications of suicide, characters who deal with cancer, death, graveyards, afterlife discussion, WWI/II mentions, depression

Hey guys! This is extremely, extremely experimental and is just me exploring some different things. This may be triggering for some as high lighted in my multiple warnings and I will tag these as well. Please do not read this if any of the warnings slightly bring you discomfort this piece is more for me really.

Y/n smiled at the sight of Billy in the grass. She spread her plaid blanket out on the ground taking a seat and unpacking her lunch. “Hey Bill.” She cooed and handed him some dandelions, the blond smiling at her. ‘Hi.’

“I got into Berkeley.” She chirped, sipping her water. “I know it’s expensive and I don’t-I don’t want to leave knowing you’re here, but…”

If I don’t leave now I never will goes unsaid. Billy was ecstatic, though. “That’s amazing, baby.”

‘Thanks.’ She looked sheepish. “I’ll have to go to the surf shop you told me about. Maybe I can get a job!” She looked at her lap, grabbing the sandwich she’d brought out of the bag and taking a bite of the PB&J. “baby, what’s wrong?” She sniffled, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “Baby...I’m so proud. You’re gonna do amazing. Maybe I could go with, huh?” He asked, eyeing her necklace. Camaro blue. He went to reach out, but paused. It would only disappoint him. She let out a small sob, curling in on herself a little. She jumped when Billy smacked her water bottle over. “Oops.” Billy smiled small, pushing a piece of hair out of her face. It made her shiver. She wiped at her face again. “Sorry, I thought I would be okay this time.”

“I miss you too.” He cooed, toying with one of his rings. He felt tears burn his eyes. “I’m supposed to leave on the 20th. But-but I don’t even know if I want to go. I won’t know anyone there. I’ve never been to the coast. I don’t-What if there’s an earthquake?” She was panicking. Billy sighed and finally let himself hug her. He barely felt anything. “You’re gonna be amazing, sunshine. I promise. And you’re gonna meet other asshole California boys and wonder why the hell you ever even liked that about me.” He teased. “You’re gonna be amazing, I know you are.” He cooed, resting his head on hers. ‘Thanks Bill.’ A butterfly meandered over and landed on him, Billy rolling his eyes. He blew it away gently, Y/n giggling when it landed on her nose and wouldn’t leave. Billy pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear, feeling her shiver again. “What kinda flowers should I get for our next date?” He leaned close, rubbing his nose along her earlobe. “Hmm...Those spiky yellow ones. Spider mums? Yeah...spider mums.” He told her, her nodding. 

“I like the yellow ones.” His eyes widened. How? 

Her watch beeped. “I have to go pick up the kids. I’ll bring you spider-mums for our next date.” She promised, packing up her lunch and the blanket. “I love you, Billy.” She told him softly, Billy kissing her. She let out a soft gasp. “I love you too, sunshine. I can’t wait for Thursday.” He cooed. She looked over the headstone one more time where she had left some dandelions before walking to her car. Billy sighed, standing up. She was leaving. Leaving him here. Of course she was. “You’re dead. How can you ask her to stay?” He asks himself, going to see the World War Two vets that play cards together this time of day. Would he even be physically able to if he was selfish enough to? He sat down on the grass, Roger handing him a hand of cards. “Why are you late?” Tim asks, wearing a new sweater. “I was on a date. My girl is going to University in California. Nice sweater.” The boys nodded. “She’s real cute. Shame you can’t introduce her.” Bobby winked. He reminded Billy of an emaciated Tommy H. “Oh Fuck you.” They all laughed, Billy feeling more at ease. “What’s she going for?” Roger asks, seeing Billy twisting one of the dandelions around. He stopped, tucking it in his pocket. “Science Education. She’s so nervous. I wanted to be the one to show her around, you know? She’s never been out there.” 

“She’ll be fine. Hasn’t she fought those dog thingies that got you?” Tim asked, every bit the 60 something years old he was in the ghostly body of a 19 year old. All of them in this group, whatever the fuck they were, were 19 or 20. Even though he was one of them, that still fucked with Billy’s mind. “Yeah, but she’s got nightmares. Like Jeremy did.” Billy nodded towards the grave that was quiet. Jeremy had made it home from the war. He was the oldest of the group at 23. He didn’t last very long though. Roger looked up. “She said she’s scared to go by herself and of earthquakes and so many other things. And it’s not like I can actually reassure her.” He huffed, putting his card down. “She’s been acting...different. I’m just worried, you know?” They nodded. 

Y/n never brought Billy his spider mums. He didn’t see her for 9 months. In that time, the Mind Flayer came back. The grotesque flesh form he’d made Billy help him make was back, that thing and demodogs running through the graveyard chasing after something. Billy hid in the back of yard, behind one of the mausoleums. “Bill, you okay?”  It was Roger. “It’s-That-That’s the-” 

“What got you?” He nodded, Roger sitting next to him and pulling him into a hug, the two boys staying huddled together until all of the monsters had left the graveyard. 

Another three weeks passed. 

The monsters were gone. More funerals came and went, Billy watching Teddy lead new residents around. Billy missed Y/n. 

He was helping Bobby pick an outfit for their date. His girl from before the war had been buried on one of the hills two days before. It was like a whisper. “Hi, Billy.” Was cooed in his ear. His head snapped up. Y/n. He smiled. “She came back!”

“Go. I got this.” Tim assured Billy, who took off towards his grave. Y/n was sitting in front of it. Her head was shaved...she looked awful. “I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long.”

“It’s okay, baby.” He promised, sitting next to her. “I was in California and then I got sick and then when I got out of the hospital there were monsters.” 

“Hospital? Sunshine, what’s wrong?” She made a small pained noise, Billy taking her in. She was wearing an oversized sweatshirt. It was June. “I’m...I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna last, Billy.” She whimpered. “Baby…” He pet her scalp, holding her close. He held her hand. “I’m scared. I’m so scared.” Her voice broke, tears rolling down her face. “I wish you could tell me what happens when we’re gone.” She said softly. Y/n was...dying. “Y/n, what’s wrong? Why are you talking like that?” His eyes burned with tears. “I went to see my doctors today. They told me the cancer’s spread even more. That I can’t do anything but wait. I haven’t-I haven’t told my parents yet. How am I going to tell them? I’m so scared Billy.” She whimpered again, hand going to her tummy. Billy squeezed her as tight as he could, but he know she wouldn’t be able to feel it with him being on a different physical plane than she was. Tears rolled down his face. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to watch her get old and forget about him. It wasn’t fair! “I’ll be waiting. I promise. I’ll make sure you’re okay. Even if I have to possess someone to find you.” He said with a weak laugh. She was silent. Her body looked so weak.

She sucked in a breath, sighing. “I worked at that surf shop for awhile. It was fun. I dated this girl named Rachel for a few months.” Billy smiled, rubbing her arm. “But she reminded you so much. It didn’t feel fair to date her if all I could think about was how she could’ve been you. That it should’ve been you in California with me.” 

Another lull. He was really freaked out by the way she kept groaning quietly in pain. “I really liked surfing. I see why you loved it.” Teddy had mentioned during ‘orientation’ that residents were allowed to go to “The Zone” however much they liked and experience things like they would in life that they couldn’t in the graveyard.  Billy was in there pretty much every day to eat. He missed that. Usually it was cake. Body didn’t change when you’re dead. “I don’t want to leave. My family...the Party.” She whimpered, trembling. Her mom would be devastated. “Baby, I need you to go home and spend time with them. Even if you don’t want to, they need it. They’ll need it for when you’re gone.” She looked like she had understood and got up. “See you soon, Billy. Love you.”

“Love you Baby. Not too soon, though. Okay?” He watched her walk down the hill, gut tensing with a feeling this might be the last time. 

A week later, Y/n was back. She looked like hell. She looked so weak. She slumped down. “Hi Billy. I had to get away. They're all looking at me weird. I know it’s almost time. I just...I don’t want my mom to have to be the one to find me, you know?” Her voice was raw. He nodded, sitting next to her and grabbing her hand. “It hurts, Bill.” She whined, hugging herself. “Hurts everywhere.” What? No no no no not now. Not right now. “Baby, you’re fine. You can do it. Your okay baby.” He practically begged for it to be true. “Billy?” She asked quietly. 

“Sunshine?”

“Bill...it-it hurts.” She turned her head and looked him dead in the eye. He tried to keep the tears back, knowing it was time. “What’s-what’s gonna happen?” He sighed, giving her a small smile and cradling her to him. “It’s gonna be dark for a little while. Like you went to sleep. And then...when you get buried, you’ll wake up. And then if you’re here, Teddy will show you around. We can go to the beach and eat ice cream 3 meals a day. You can show me what you liked about Cali and I’ll finally get to show you around.” She smiled, pressing her face close to his neck, Billy swallowing the sob that tried to escape. “You promise I’ll wake up?”

“I promise.” She gave a soft hm. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” 

“Feel warm?” She nodded, taking a shuddering breath. “I’m right here baby. I’ll be waiting. I’ll watch over you while you go to sleep,okay?” He stroked her head, her sliding to rest her head in his lap. She nodded. “Bill…”

“That’s it baby. Go to sleep. I’ll be waiting, okay? Then we can do whatever you want.”

“Okay. I love you Billy.”

“I love you too, sunshine.” She smiled gently at him, Billy clinging to her. Her soft smile slipped as her too weak body finally let go. Billy sobbed. It wasn’t fair. It took about 10 minutes for someone to notice her body. There was a scream. An ambulance came. Tim, Bobby and Roger came over and sat with him. “You okay?”

“No, what the hell kinda question-?” It did make Billy smile a little. He picked up her necklace that was on the ground that had fallen off when the EMTs came. “Wow. That was something.” Tim commented, patting Billy’s back. “Guess we got a new member for cards.” Billy snorted. “New member of what?”

“The ‘died in our prime’ club. You’ll have to tell us how ghost sex works.” Bobby winks. Billy pulled a face. They guys laughed and pulled him up, going to The Zone to see if they could get wasted as ghosts. 

A week passed, Billy asking Teddy to get him some spider mums. It was sunny the next time Billy woke up again. He was still trying to figure out the napping while dead thing. 

“Here.” Teddy stood in front of him, spider mums in hand. “Do you want to show her around or would you like me to?”

“I want to greet her. You should tell her the basics though. I still don’t understand all this shit.” Teddy laughed. They walked over a hill, seeing a white tent. He thought about clothes she liked him in, finding himself in a blue sweater and jeans. It was what he’d worn on their last date before he kicked the bucket. Teddy led him to the spot, the grave covered in flowers. Harrington was standing in front of it, the two ghosts seeing the rest  of the mourners moving to their cars. The brunette walked off, Billy tried to think about nice things with Y/n instead of snarky things to say about Harrington. Teddy waited a moment and tapped the top of the grave. Y/n suddenly popped up, like she’d been laying on the ground. Billy asked Teddy quietly why she looked like she had before she got sick. Teddy provided that it was probably what she wanted, like how they could all change clothes at will without actually removing clothes. “Welcome.”

“What?” She asked, standing up, dazed. “Hi Y/n.” She turned, shock on her face. “Billy?!” 

“Hi Sunshine.” He cooed, her throwing herself at him. He hugged her tight, her squeezing. 

“You waited.” She pulled back, Billy smiling. “Course I did.” He kissed her forehead, handing over the flowers. She laughed. “At least one of us remembered to get the spider mums.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Please send me an ask or dm if you would like to be tagged in any of my works 

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@ oogachuggaoogaoogachugga

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #tw death #death #cancer #major character deaths #afterlife #discussions of the after life #this is experimental and just a way for me to think about some stuff #tw major character death #tw cancer #tw depression #tw implied suicide #tw afterlife #mo writes #one shots

[maybe-your-left]

Cowboy Blues: Its a Date, Or Is It?

Settling into a new routine has always been hard. You were so happy back in North Carolina. Well, happy was kind of a stretch, but you were comfortable. Everything was familiar and felt like home. Even after the falling out with Josh… boy was he someone you didn’t miss. The long nights of tears and screams followed by hours of pain and suffering. You cried tears of relief and unrelenting joy when the judge granted your restraining order. The next day you packed up all that was left of your life and got a new job at a clinic in West Virginia. 

Your alarm clock woke you from your thoughts, sighing before swinging your legs outta bed and making your way to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror was so different nowadays. No longer did you have to hide your face with layers of concealer to hide the shame from others, your (Y/E/C) eyes weren’t obscured by the burst blood vessels from repeated abuse. You could finally have your hair in whatever style you liked, not having to follow Josh’s rules of how a “lady was supposed to look and act”. Quickly washing your face from all the grime on your pillow you pulled your hair back into a messy braid with a bun atop your head. Throwing on some new scrubs, you grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter and rushed out to your car. Earl had gotten it all fixed up in a couple of days and dropped it off so you didn’t have to take the bus to work anymore. It took you all but fifteen minutes to arrive in front of the clinic, the head vet tech was there smiling at you when you walked up. 

“Morning Doctor (Y/L/N)!” 

“Good morning Shelby, you’re here early today. I’m usually the only one who gets in at 7.”

Shelby let out a breath you didn’t know she was holding and opened the door for you. Waltzing in you started flipping on lights to begin opening up. 

“Well, I got a phone call from the emergency pet line while I was getting ready for work so I just let him know to get here at 7 when you showed up” her voice trailed off while she stared out the front windows. You walked over to Shelby and stared out the window to see what she was looking at. Suddenly a car pulled into the parking lot and a man rushed out of the driver’s side. He crossed over the front of the vehicle and picked up something rather large and rushed to the front door. 

“He got here fast didn’t he?” Shelby spoke up. 

Turning towards the back entrance you let Shelby check in the man. You were setting down your bag in your office, getting your supplies ready for whatever emergency he was bringing with him. 

“Sure thing, can you tell me again what happened to him? I need to make sure Dr. (Y/L/N) knows before we take him from you.” Shelby said as calmly as she could. It was clear that the man was panicked, his voice was strained like he had been crying for some time. Walking back into the lobby you stopped dead in your tracks. Before you stood none other than Clyde Logan. Your knight in shining armor, your rescuer from weeks ago.  You cracked a smile, eyes searching his pained expression. He seemed to be at a loss for words, or he didn’t remember who you were. That thought stung since this wasn’t the first time you had thought about him since you departed. You thought about the embarrassing moment where you caught him coming out of the shower. If you were bolder you would’ve ripped that towel right off of him and rode him instead of El Wood. You had spent many nights in bed sweating up a storm thinking about his rough hands massaging and caressing you while whispering in your ear what a pretty cowgirl you were. Imagining how his muscular arms would hold you up against the wall while you chanted his name over and over and over again. You let out an audible whimper when you were shoved back into reality when Shelby spoke up again. 

Like throwing a cold bucket of water over you, you realized he was here for an emergency and the only dog you saw on that property was Leroy. You rushed over to Clyde’s side and peeked under the blanket that was cradling the poor thing. Clyde’s chest rose in shallow breaths as you looked over Leroy. It appeared he was still breathing but like his owner, he was only getting in shallow breaths, his fur was matted and spots of blood were visible through the patches of fur around his neck. 

“H-he got out this mornin’ an I found him fightin’ with a snake… I got it off a him but…” Clyde trailed off and looked at you with tears in his eyes. He choked back what seemed like a sob when you motioned for him to follow you to the back rooms. 

-----

Clyde left the clinic at about 10, the nurses assured him that Leroy was doing okay and that Dr. (Y/N) would make sure to call him when it was time to pick him up. He had spent all morning in the lobby pacing, panicking, dreaming of the worst possible scenario for his lil’ buddy. He had gotten Leroy when he moved out of Jimmy’s place to the family ranch. His sole companion that was with him day and night was now hurt because Clyde hadn’t checked for snakes before lettin’ him out. 

He left his number at the front desk along with the number for Duck Tape in case he didn’t answer at home when they called. He wasn’t sure where he was headed but he mindlessly made it to Mellie’s salon. Maybe a haircut would calm his nerves, after the traumatic moment with Leroy, he also had seen that girl again. He wasn’t sure why he was blessed that day to come upon such a fine young lady but he was thanking his lucky stars every night for the moments they shared. Being a southern gentleman and all he tried to keep his “unsuitable” thoughts outta his mind but there was something about her. 

Walkin’ into the salon Mellie smiled at him and motioned for him to sit in the chair. Draping him in the cloth and brushing his hair Clyde finally started to relax. 

“I didn’t know you were gonna come in today Clyde”

“Wasn’ plannin’ on it Mel,” Clyde said barely above a whisper, “I was in town already and needed a trim.” 

After a long pause, Mellie brought Clyde to the sink to wash his hair. Heatin’ up the water to a warm sudsy temp, using the tea tree shampoo as he likes. 

“Leroy’s at the vet. Got caught by a snake this mornin’.” Clyde finally said, “Got him there until they call n’ say it s’okay to bring him home”. 

Mellie hummed in response, she never pushed Clyde to talk more than he needed to, unlike Jimmy. She was truly just there to listen and support him whenever he needed it. 

Finishing up at the sink he got up and sank back down in front of Mellie’s mirror as she started trimming away. Clyde had finally begun to relax after telling Mellie about Leroy when she piped up. 

“Earl said you had a girl at the house the other day”. 

Clyde's eyes nearly popped outta his head. Earl knew better than to be tellin’ Mellie bout’ girls, Clyde was never one to hold a secret but Mellie always tried to work her “Mellie Magic '', which usually ended in him gettin’ his heartbroken. 

“He said she was quite a looker, want to tell me where you found her? Or should I just keep cutting hair until you talk?” her smirk on her face was evident even if Clyde wasn’t making full eye contact. The scissors she held were dangerously close to his ear, threatening to cut the hair coverin’ em too short. “I don’ know what yer talkin’ bout”. 

“Is that your final answer Clyde?”

Eyes darting between Mellie and her scissors he knew he would have to cave or else he would suffer having a bowl cut for the next few months. “Her car broke down outside the house, I couldn’ jus let her walk off”.

“And what’s her name?”

“(Y/N)”

“That’s a pretty name, never heard of her. Is she new?”

“Not sure, she didn’ say. But she works as a vet where Leroy’s at.”

“Have you made a move on her?”

Clyde pauses before answering, he wasn’t sure he wanted to share with his little sister about how (Y/N) barged in on him naked after a shower. She would get the wrong impression. The last thing Clyde needed was Mellie thinkin’ bout’ him and (Y/N) naked, not that he would mind it.

“Clyde, don’t go all moony-eyed on me, have you asked her out yet?

“O’ course not” Clyde spit out. He couldn’ imagine doin’ that, what if she said no? He wasn’ sure he could take her rejection. 

“Why don’t you ask her to the bar? Get her a couple of drinks so she meets people in town.” 

Clyde swallowed, it did seem like a good idea in theory. Nothin’ could go wrong at his

bar. He would be in control of the situation. Not saying another word Mellie finished his hair cut n’ he left to get the bar ready to open. 

-----

The rest of your morning was uneventful after the Leroy emergency. Taking him from Clyde had been heartbreaking, to say the least. The man looked like he was going to pass out when he told him he couldn’t stay back while you worked on Leroy. Apparently he had been pacing the lobby and wouldn’t sit still for longer than ten minutes. The nurses told you he came up to the counter and asked about Leroy every time he sat back up from his seat. It was cute how much he cared about his dog, not many pet owners stay when they drop off their animals, but Clyde stayed until finally, Shelby convinced him to go stretch his legs. 

At about 3 you checked in on Leroy and he was happy as can be, you could hardly believe he was bitten by a snake near hours ago. He was so glad to see you, he clearly remembered you, unlike his owner. It was time to call Clyde and let him know he could come pick him up. You also got to go home and rest after a long day's work once Leroy was sent on his way. 

Dialing the house number you waited… “This s’ the Logan Ranch leaves a message.” Beep. 

Ugh, you guessed you had to try the second number, whatever Duck Tape was you had heard it many times to know that Clyde was a regular. 

Ring, Ring, Ring… ugh come on pick up. 

“Duck Tape bar, this s’ Clyde.”

Clearing your throat you replied, “Hey Clyde it’s (Y/N) at Community Animal Hospital, I just wanted to let you know Leroy is here and ready to go home.” Smile beaming through the phone you hoped that by saying your first name Clyde would remember you. 

“Thank y’ very much. I’ll be there soon I’m jus’ down the road' ' Clyde blurted out and hung up quickly. 

Sighing you went back and got Leroy ready to be discharged. Letting the nurses and other staff members go home while you waited for Clyde. Sitting behind the front desk you waited with Leroy sitting between your knees while you scratched and pet his head. 

No more than five minutes had passed before Clyde strode through the door. You hadn’t been able to get a good look at him this morning but now here he was in all his glory. A dark-gray button-up smartly tucked into denim wranglers adorned his broad chest. His beard seemed better cleaned up compared to this morning and his hair seemed a little shorter, not that you paid that much attention to his ebony locks. 

“Hi again sunshine”. 

His words melted your bones, the sickly sweet nickname he called you echoed in your ears each time you fell asleep. Shaking yourself out of the trance he put you in you spoke up, “Hey Clyde, I got Leroy right here for you. Let me just walk you through the medicine he will be on for a few days”. You walked your way around the counter and stood to his right. You immediately noticed how much bigger he was up close, your eyes barely reaching to his shoulders. You had to strain your neck to look at his face. And what a face it was, covered in little freckles and moles you resisted the urge to touch them all. His eyes bored holes into your soul, stealing the air out of your lungs. It was like two perfect pools of brown amber were right there for you to dive into. 

“What’ll I be givin’ him now?” Clyde’s voice jerked you from his face back to the paperwork in front of you. 

“Oh yeah, he just will be taking a couple of these” you lifted the green pill bottle towards Clyde “Twice a day for 3 days until the swelling goes down. After that just use sparingly if he starts itching at it. There is also some gel to put on the sores that need to be done every night before he goes to sleep and that won’t stop until they go away”. Clyde nodding in response to your instructions. A smile pulled at his lips when you finished. 

“I can’t thank y’ enough fer helpin’ Leroy. I don’ know how I can repay y’.” 

“Well I’m a doctor, it’s in my job description” you smiled up at him. After what felt like hours he spoke again. 

“Well’m a bartender so why don’ I get you a couple a rounds on the house tonight?” 

You were intrigued, you hadn’t planned on going out but it was a Friday and all you were going to do at home was watch Netflix and possibly touch yourself to the thought of Clyde. Now you had the chance to, maybe, touch him for real. 

“Uh sure, I’d love to come by”. 

“See y’ at 10?” 

“It’s a date” you blurted out without realizing what you said, not wanting to take it back you just gave him a nervous smile. He said nothing as he gathered up Leroy’s supplies and called him out to his car. 

TAGLIST: @finn-ray-nal-beads @morby @kirah36

authors note: I am having so much fun writing this you guys have no idea. Also be ready for smut *saddles up* 

#adam driver #Clyde logan #clyde x reader #cowboy

[tastyliltina]

Splintered (VORE)

A/N:  FINALLY got finished with an art trade between me and fubardish *cries*. Writing big bit hard today and I’m super happy to have gotten something done!! Got to use one of my newer chars, Kenny, too! Which is always a blast tbh!! I love writing with my sassy little spitfire~. Flams belongs to Kubes, and Kenny is mine!!  

If you want a story like this for yourself, check out my commission page!:   Want a story like this for yourself?  Check out my commission page!  tinascommissions.carrd.co/

“Ah, here we go!”

The tiny voice caught Flams’ attention. Flams felt a sharp tug, and groaned as a painful pressure eased. His tongue moved to the swollen area, bumping against a small figure. He caught a tang of blood, intertwined with the pleasant flavor of chocolate, and sighed as something warm and alive moved back across his tongue, eventually to his teeth, and out. Finally, he could close his lips-and he did. His tongue grazed every bit of his mouth it could, and he hummed as he enjoyed the last of the warm and mocha-like taste.

“Thanks, Miss Chris…” Flams murmured. A hand moved to his chin, rubbing the swollen and scruffy skin. He glanced to the slobber-soaked figure on the counter, and to the impressive tree branch at her side. He’d had that in his gums all day? No wonder it had been so painful…

“And this is why we don’t eat trees,” snarked another voice. Flams’ expression flattened as he looked to Kenny, sitting in a guest chair beside his cot. He rolled to face the human, raising a brow at her.

“There’s plenty of other things I could eat, y’know,” he smirked, smiling like he normally did. It felt good to smile-since the splinter incident, it had been hard to get his mouth to cooperate. His gaze fell to his little savior, and he sat up in the cot. “Uh-is there anything else I need to do for this?”

Chris, who had seemed to busy herself at a computer on the countertop walkway turned. Flams squinted, but even then he couldn’t make out what the screen said...granted, it was the size of a fingernail to him-perks of being a giant.

The human vet tilted her head, then shrugged. “If you’d like, you can ice the side of your face to help with that swelling...and try to not eat anything crunchy or tough for a few days. Other than that, there’s not much to do.” Shrugging, the brunette faced away from Flams, and clicked the screen on the tiny laptop. “But um, if you must know-“ Chris turned to Flams, a mischevious grin on her face. “eating humans, safely of course, is a viable option. As long as they don’t have sharp weapons,” she grinned.

Kenny bolted upright, staring at Chris bewilderingly. “Wh-the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” The darker-skinned woman snapped.

“Flams knows what I mean~,” Chris hummed, and Flams nodded. He knew exactly what Chris meant...and was surprised she knew that was his next question. Though, he guessed she’d had an idea he enjoyed a temporary human snack..., considering she’d spent the last twenty minutes in his mouth….and by how much he’d drooled.

“Noted~,” Flams crooned. Much to Kenny’s chagrin. Before she could give Chris a hard time though, Flams reached out and nabbed the feisty human by her jacket. “Come on, toffee~. Now that I’m all better,” he bought the writing human closer to his face, grinning, “we can have some fun~.”

“GOD DAMNIT!” Kenny roared, but she didn’t have much choice as Flams lowered her into his free hand. He cupped it around her and moved to leave. But...he thought better of it. Instead, Flams made a loose fist around Kenny, ensuring the human couldn’t get away while he signed out. He walked to the raised platform, where Chris was busy at a laptop.

“Thanks again for the help, miss Chris. I’ll see you around-...maybe get a proper taste without the splinter.” Flams smiled, and chuckled as he stepped out.

~~

Kenny scowled. She glared at the walls of skin around her, scowled at the dimly lit interior of Flams’ fist. Dappled light shone shone through the gaps in Flams’ fingers, enough for her to see...but not enough for her to peek at anything around the digits. Stupid giant-she punched against his hand, though it did little good. His hand remained curled up, keeping her perfectly trapped inside the warm and humid space. It smelled like smoke. Most of Flams did, but the ashen scent was almost impossible to ignore so close to the big guy.

She glanced up as Flams spoke, from the sounds of it to the clerk at the front desk. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the palm of his hand, sneering as though Flams could see it. He couldn’t… Giant ginger bastard.

But, soon enough, Kenny felt her organic cage shift. Flams’ fingers remained curled around her, but the sway of his footsteps loosened their grip just a bit. Kenny kicked a foot out, bracing herself as the fire giant made his way wherever he was going. Kenny heard a door chime, and close, felt the air become heavy and warm. She sighed. Maybe now the big guy would let her go…

He didn’t. At least, not at first. Kenny was trapped in Flams’ fist for a while, she couldn’t tell how long-save by the sweat dribbling down her brow. Flams’ hands were always so warm… It was a good feeling, being so toasty, but she was getting tired of the leathery sight of skin and fingers.

“Hey!” She barked. “Are you gonna let me out at some point, asshat?”

Flams’ hand shifted, slowly unfurling before light spilled in. Kenny squinted, shielding her eyes as the fingers spread out, leaving her in the open air. She scowled. “‘Bout time…”

“Oh, don’t act so smug yet~.”

Kenny blinked, glancing up at Flams. His lips were parted in his telltale grin, and a mischievous glint in his eyes made Kenny shrink back. He was planning something. Shit.

“Now, since you decided to be such a bother at my appointment….” slowly, the living platform lowered. Kenny sat up as Flams’ hand settled onto the ground, leaving Flams kneeling over her. “We’re gonna play a little game~.” Flams’ palm dipped. Kenny slid onto the ground, grunting before she pushed herself up and glared up at the redhead.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning...you better start runnin’, toffee~.” His grin broke into something more predatory, and Kenny didn’t need an explanation for that expression. It was hungry. The kind of look that meant if she didn’t book it, she’d end up being lunch.

“Oh...oh fuck you!” Kenny sneered as she whirled. She darted towards what looked like a treeline, hating how unfamiliar the area around her was. Hard to run when she didn’t know where she was going… Still, Kenny continued to sprint forwards. She didn’t bother looking back. Flams always gave her a head start-only fair; he’d take a few footsteps to catch up.

~~

Flams watched the little human run, crossing his arms. As rude, bitter, and fussy as Kenny was, Flams couldn’t help but like the little spitfire. She had fight. She had balls, more so than most humans he knew. But she was...reckless. There were things Kenny did, the way she carried herself that worried him. She almost had no concern for her safety. So...he figured it was good to put her in her place. Better her get it from him, someone who wouldn’t hurt her, rather than with a stranger.

Besides, he could never turn down a good chance for a wiggly snack~.

Humming, Flams rocked back on his heels, looking to the sky with a frown. It was getting late...he wouldn’t drag this out too long. Just enough for bedtime to roll around. Having Kenny as a midnight snack was always fun~. Even if his stomach paid for it the next morning. Tiny punches were painful after a while… A hand brushed his chin, thoughtful. Maybe he could make some nice stew to try and amend any teasing...and prevent Kenny from giving him another temporary tattoo somewhere regrettable.

With a smirk, he stepped forwards. That was enough time. Flams closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. His feet turned, leading him in the direction of a familiar smell. Coffee cake. Rich, bitter, and all Kenny. Eyes opened, Flams began his trek to track the little human down.

Flams always forgot how fun it was to hunt until he was in the act… Something about following the twisting, winding trail of smells awoke something in him. Reminded him of something he’d been missing. Something primal. Granted, hunting a friend was a lot different than hunting a deer, or an animal. Friends were special. Friends were tasty. But they weren’t food. Kneeling, Flams parted a group of trees, peering through the branches before letting them return to their settled position. He was getting close.

He brushed his hands off, pursed his lips. Chuckling, Flams let the words of a spell roll off his tongue. Nothing special, just something to help him sneak around a little better. It was hard to ambush someone who could feel your footsteps a mile away. Besides, Kenny’s reactions were so much more fun when she was surprised, and Flams loved it when she shrieked at him~.

~~

Kenny pressed herself into the bark of the tree, head snapping in the direction of any sound. She hated this. Hated it when Flams pulled this shit; why was it her responsibility to entertain the big bastard?! Hands curled into fists, Kenny snorted. It wasn’t like she enjoyed this….enjoyed being treated like a snack. Even if Flams kept an eye out for her; and if being eaten wasn’t so bad, once she got over the smug smiles, teasing, and slime.

“God damned bastard,” she growled. Kenny leaned to one side, peering out over the canopy of leaves. They swished with a warm wind, shifting the fragmented light around her. She sighed. Slowly, she peeled herself from the tree, and moved to the next one. Like before, she kept her back pressed against the bark. It felt good to have something at her back. Felt safer.

The further she moved along, the more paranoid Kenny became. She hadn’t felt the ground shame in a few minutes. Flams liked to stop and think, she knew that much but he didn’t take this long. Right? Did he take this long normally? Kenny growled, shaking her head. Needed to stop getting caught in her thoughts and focus on getting the hell away.

She ran to another tree. Back pressed to it. A part of her knew she was only dragging out the inevitable. Still, she kept going. Moving from tree to tree, pressing herself against each one as she went. Waiting. Listening.

Kenny wasn’t sure how many trees she’d moved between when she felt it. Eyes on her back. She whipped around, eyes widening at the sight of two golden abysses. Eyes. They flickered mischievously, the black pit of Flams’ pupils honing in on her.

“FUCKING SHIT!” Kenny whirled on her ankle, prepped to sprint, but was stopped by a pair of hands. She smacked into one of them, scrabbles back, and was caught by the back of her shirt. A frustrated yell escaped her as she was jerked into the air, legs kicking at the empty space before her. Soon enough, she was held in front of Flams’ grinning face, his lips pulling back in a smirk.

“Ooh, gotta watch that tongue, toffee…” Flams rumbled, his free hand moving to his waist. “Don’t wasn’t that bitterness makin’ you taste fowl, now…”

“Kiss my ass, red,” Kenny snapped. She lifted her hand, giving Flams a full display of her middle finger.

“Ouch, oh, my frail feelings,” his hand moved to his chest. The sarcasm made Kenny’s eyes roll. “Really, I’m hurtin’, kid.”

“Ain’t your kid.”

“No...but you can be my treat~.”

Kenny glared at him. The giant licked his lips, making a point to pull them back so she could see. She hissed, legs and arms flailing as Flams’ fingers brought her closer to his face. Kenny came to a swinging stop over Flams’ face, and her chin dropped to sneer at him.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t~,” Flams purred. His fingers loosened a tad, dropping Kenny ever so closer to his maw. She yelped, tried to pull herself up and away from those teeth and what lay beyond. The pressure at her back loosened. Kenny gasped, only given a moment’s peace before she dropped.

Her arms windmilled, legs fought the air. The air got hot, heavy, and she smacked into something sticky. Before she could place up front down, Kenny rolled backwards, only stopping when the ground lifted under her. She untangled her limbs from their awkward position, instincts digging her hands and feet into the tongue beneath her. There was a moment of peace. Kenny caught her breath, then launched herself forwards.

Before she could get very far, the ground lurched under her. Kenny face planted, grunted, and groaned as the living bed of muscle raised her to the top of Flams’ mouth. She squirmed, trying to push the invasive tastebuds away as Flams got himself a taste. The ramping rumbled around her served to show Flams was enjoying himself. Dumb, stupid, giant red headed bastard.

Kenny sputtered. Flams’ tongue lifted up, the tip running along her face and drenching her in the drool pooling around her. She let out a hiss, slapping at it with a disgusted scowl. Already she felt the heat and drool slopping her bangs into her face, no doubt soaking through her bun...and her clothes.

Yet, despite herself...she tried to restrain her reactions. Kept her kicks close to her chest, her hands away from his gums. Flams’ mouth had been really sore at the doctor’s… No point in making things hell.

Flams’ tongue lifted again, arching downwards. Grimacing, Kenny rolled on her back. The arch opening to the back of the throat was getting closer, and she was sliding down fast. Breaths blasted like wind, gurgles of organs below joined their melody. It was the sound of her fate being sealed. Her legs scrabbled, trying to push herself up and away from the living cavern.

Kenny closed her eyes. There wasn’t a point trying to see now...not until she got where she was going. Her feet slid into an open space, the rest of her fell after. She landed with a grunt, and was promptly sucked down. Muscles squeezed in on her, squishing her arms and legs together, and forcing her down. Everything got tighter for a moment, and Kenny squirmed, knowing it was Flams pressing his fingers to his throat. To feel her. Bastard.

Another ripple of muscle yanked her down, tugging Kenny along like a child down a slide. If slides weren’t living, breathing, greedy giants. She growled, barely able to hear herself think around the chorus of Flams’ body around her. Breaths, organs, and the beating of his heart drowned out any sensible thought-until something grabbed her feet.

~~

Flams sighed as he felt Kenny’s weight plop into his stomach, a hand pressing against his middle. He chuckled, patting at the middle human as he murmured the proper spells. Couldn’t have Kenny suffocate or hurt...or have anything happen to her. Once the spells were finished, Flams dropped his hand.

“There now, that wasn’t so bad~,” Flams stretched and glanced around, figuring the best way to get home. He began the walk back once he found it, ignoring the little punches and kicks to his guts. Kenny’s steam never lasted long once she was tucked away. She’d fall asleep, pissed as ever, and let him get some rest.

Something itched at him. As he walked, Flams poked his middle. “You good in there?” After a pause, he heard a muffled voice.

“The fuck you mean?!”

“I mean,” Flams frowned, “ya’ weren’t as...kick-y as you usually are. Kinda felt like a noodle. You okay?”

It was quiet a moment. Then, there was an eruption of punches to his middle, and Flams’ nose wrinkled. Good to know she was fine now.

“I wasn’t-I was plenty kick-y!”

“Not really,” Flams frowned, scanning the tree line as he walked. He wondered how he looked, walking along and talking to no one. “You’re plenty fighty now, but earlier you weren’t.”

“I’m FINE!” Kenny’s voice was shrill. Much more so than normal...almost...embarrassed? Flams scratched his stomach. Odd. Why would she be so afraid to hide how much or little she was fighting? Shrugging, Flams sighed. He’d deal with that later. Kenny was fine, and back to her fighting spirit. For now, his only focus was getting a nap.

“Alright, whatever...just makin’ sure we didn’t need another doctor’s appointment or nothin’...” The sight of his cabin in the distant was a welcome one, though Flams made himself a note to visit that little vet again. She seemed sweet...in more ways than one. “I’ll letcha our after I get a nap, ‘kay?”

Flams didn’t get a response...didn’t expect one, either. But he smiled. What a day to get a splinter…

#tina writes #mine #extreme cuddling #maw shot #gt #giant tiny #giant pred #tiny prey

[gulfportofficial]

Anyway, here’s some more WIP GP (I think some of you may have seen bits of this before? I told you it was taking me forever).

I loved how he looked when he woke up. Cranky and rumpled and soft all at the same time, his black hair messy and his skin warm from the bedclothes. It seemed to take him a minute or two to hear me well enough to respond to me. How human he was, still, that even now with his impossible strength, he woke up groggy. I climbed onto the bed, and then onto him, and kissed him on the mouth.

He smiled against it. He put his arms around me. “Has the paper come?”

Typical, I thought of saying, but did not. I wasn’t really annoyed by it. That clever little occupation of his, that too, was part of his sweetness too. “Yes,” I said, “and I’ve got the Picayune.”

Louis shuffled up and arranged his pillows fussily, so he could lean back onto them. “You’re very good to me,” he said. “Was it a nice walk?”

“Entirely uneventful,” I said. “Kiss me again and I’ll let you read your papers.”

He did. “Will you tell me the shape of the evening so that I know how long I have to read them?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, did your mother mention what time she was arriving? Do we need to go out before she comes?” he asked. “I don’t mind doing that.”

It would be entirely wrong to say that I had forgotten she was coming. I had thought about nothing else since her call. I had thought about it in my sleep and upon waking and during my walk and while he was kissing me. But I thought about it so hard it didn’t seem to be present in my real life. I swallowed, and Louis looked at me strangely.

“I don’t know,” I said. “She might want to go out together.” “It’s a shame you just can’t call her to check,” Louis said.

I didn’t bother to answer that. Such a pointless dig. Was that the shape of the evening then, something structured by Louis’ painful and barbed asides catching at my flesh? I rolled off him and fished out my laptop computer. I took my notebook and glasses from the bedside table. He didn’t comment.

There wasn’t much for me to attend to on the internet. A few emails. Facebook nonsense. I had been tagged in some photographs and proceeded to vet them. I do like candid photographs, but there are limits.

Louis had picked up the Press-Register. “Why don’t we go out just in case,” he said. “If she wants to, we can go again.”

I don’t think he was thinking this through. As a general rule, we do not hunt so close to where we live, unless we can truly be sure it is a little drink only and nothing more. We didn’t have time to go far enough afield. At least I felt we didn’t have time. He was right that I couldn’t call to check.

“You go,” I said. “I’ll wait.”

“That’s alright. If you want to wait, we’ll wait. I’ll survive.”

“Won’t it drive you mad?” I said. I’d opened up my Notes document and begin to transcribe.

“You forget to whom it is you’re speaking,” Louis said, and I was about to tell him off, but he was right. Anyone who could live on rats for as long as he had could skip a night. Just one though, allowing for the precedent of the consequences of his doing that.

“How’s the Gulf?” I asked, deliberately.

Louis gave me a look, but it worked, as I knew it would. “Thad Allen’s leaving,” he said.

“I don’t know who that is.”

“The Coastguard National Incident Commander. He actually stepped down moths ago but…”

I sighed. “Unlike you, Louis, I have better things to do than read everything about the fucking oil spill, so obviously I don’t know what that is either. When you tell a story like this you must structure in a referent or two so I am able to orient myself.”

I regretted saying that. I regretted saying anything that could stop him from focusing on the spill instead of my mother. “It’s called glossing,” I said, hastily. “One should gloss.”

I wonder if he took pity on me then, because he went on with only the slightest air of annoyance. “Admiral Allen,” Louis said, “is a Coast Guard official and the man appointed by President Obama to oversee responses to the disaster. He has a most distinguished career, actually, and…”

“What did he do?”

“Many things, but…”

“No, I mean, why is he stepping down? What did he do? Did he get caught taking a bribe or something else scandalous?”

“I think he’s just retiring.”

“Oh,” I said. “That’s dull.”

“He’s responsible for most of the online mapping.”

“The what?”

“I showed you,” Louis said. “The computer map of the spill and how it was spreading. On the internet. That was his idea, to make that map public.”  

“Oh yes, I remember,” I said. I didn’t. I was bored with the internet now anyway. I hopped out of bed, and started to flick through my wardrobe. I’d shower and dress, I felt better equipped to face the evening showered and dressed. I felt the need to cement things with a lot of ritual. Prayer. I thought I might do something to my face and slipped into the bathroom.

“What’s that on your face?” Louis asked when I slipped out. “Supernatural late stage leprosy?”

“Shut up,” I said, then I read off the jar for him, “it’s a Green Clay Masque with Rice Enzyme.”

Louis opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it. I supposed I knew what it was – you don’t need that, it will have absolutely no effect on you – but I wondered why he decided not to lecture me. Perhaps he couldn’t be bothered.

He could think what he liked anyway. I felt the stuff drying on my face and I liked the sensation of it, it felt redeeming in some manner. I set the jar down and sat back on the bed and pulled out my laptop again. Nothing on Facebook had changed and it was all still boring. I trawled through it anyway. One feels obligated, or else compulsion. That,too, is like a naturalized little prayer against disaster.

Louis ran a gentle, distracted-seeming hand up and down on my back as I did. “My mother…�� he said. I looked up.

I wasn’t sure if he’d trailed off out of discomfort, or simply because he didn’t intend to keep speaking. “What, Louis?”

“When my brother died…” Louis said, and that was surprising enough that I had to actually turn around to look at him. He never spoke about this. Never. And it didn’t precisely seem buried, not on his face now, nor in the fact that he’d stuttered himself out of speaking. Once turned around I held perfectly still.

He began again. “When my brother died,” Louis said, “well, you probably remember my telling you this, but we’d argued. Almost immediately before. Moments before. And my mother blamed me.”

“That’s not kind,” I said. “And it’s not true. Brothers exchange harsh words sometimes.”

“No, you’ve misunderstood,” Louis said. “I mean that she believed I’d committed the act. She asked the police to question me.”

Oh, Louis, I wanted to say. How horrible. How cruel. “Is that why you can’t understand a mother caring for you, or being your friend or being intimate?”

“Perhaps it is,” Louis said. “My mother and I were never particularly at odds before then, but we weren’t close either. I don’t know. I don’t know what she thought.”

“Why didn’t you ask her?”

“You’re correct that we didn’t have that sort of intimacy. I don’t recall ever asking her much of anything.”

How quickly I regretted this Green Clay Masque with Rice Enzyme. It had already started to itch and I wanted it off me, but I could not move to interrupt what Louis was saying. My heart wouldn’t let me do that.

“I don’t think my family in general liked me very much,” Louis said, his solemn white face still and his eyes far away. “Furthermore, I’m not sure I deserved being liked, since I don’t recall I was very kind to them. My father died and I focused on management, and I don’t wonder if that’s all I did. My sister said as much, after… well, after you and I… after I sent her to the city.”

“Did she really just announce that to you,” I said. “That she didn’t like you? That’s an awfully rude thing to say to the person funding your lifestyle.”

Louis raised an eyebrow at me. I took the point. However, there was strangely little malice in his expression considering how much room in it for malice there was. That was curious and I waited for him to continue.

“Yes she did,” he said. “She and I did become close then. When I visited her, we did talk, and with a great deal of frankness and intimacy, and she said very directly that I had become kinder and that she had begun to understand and to like me. So perhaps my mother simply knew an unkind person.”

But the real you must have shone through, I wanted to say. It seemed impossible to me that anyone could have met Louis and not instantly fallen as fatally in love as I, even, if not especially, his mother. Someone so beautiful, so passionate, so gentle and particular and odd, you’d need a heart of stone not to love him. But perhaps all of his reservations with me had come from this. Perhaps like all of us, Louis had been irreparably shaped by the first person ever to hold his vulnerable mortal body as it came into this world, forever formed by whatever definition of love was taught to him.

“Your mother was crazed with grief, chéri,” I said. “That’s all it was. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Well,” he said. He opened the paper again. His face was flat now. He’d finished. Any grief of his own that lingered, he wouldn’t show me.

I tried, subtly, to scratch my face, but I stopped before he looked at me. If he noticed he’d say something pointedly right about the masque and I didn’t want him to do that. “Whatever happened to that man your sister married,” I said. “She married that… I forget, but there was something about him…”

It was desperate. But I hoped it at least sounded conversational.

“There was nothing about him,” Louis said. “Unless you mean the fact that he was profoundly inbred, which yes, I suppose, is notable from a certain point of view.”

I snorted. “You’re a snob, chaton.”

“I’m nothing of the sort. It’s your kind who inbreed. The middle classes marry out.”

“You are…” I said, but I didn’t know what he was. Terrible, at least, I wanted to say. Absolutely appalling. I felt myself smiling, preparing to tease.

“Listen, Monsieur,” Louis said, and I stopped. He said it firmly, a stately little command, and it worked on me instantly. I listened, I waited.

“Listen, Monsieur,” he said, again. “I intend to be an asset to you in this, not a obstacle.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“That’s all,” he said. “Go on. Go on about your strange ablutions. I’m going to finish these papers.”

[cheshasleverage]

The Homecoming Job Rewatch

Here we go, another one! I want y’all to know I’ve given up on any chance of making these short so strap in

“he's cheating on you.... with a camel!” “ok it was one time”

jenny can suck my dick

I like how the first season almost always has the client say something along the lines of “I don't want the money I went them to pay for what they did” or “I want them to face consequences” 

“Doc he’s cool I found him on the internet” so by now they've set up some kind of way to be found but who the hell is gonna trust that? What kind of information did Hardison/Nate put up to not only make them sound appealing but also trustworthy to people who had literally just lost everything

This nurse is so sweet and I love her. She’s obviously dealt with scammers before, and she really cares about all the vets in her hospital

Oh and her line about people not showing up to help? I feel like Nate might at one point have had that idea, but after realizing he could be the one that helps, he’s out to prove to people like her that they can trust some people

OK so yeah, Hardison and Nate have been in contact after their first con. The team must’ve split to keep a low profile, but were waiting for Nate to give that signal. BUT, I want to know how many times Hardison called Nate talking about potential clients or a new base or their website because Nate became a stable source for Hardison and Nate manages to keep him from getting distracted, gets him to focus

Sophie has absolutely no acting shame and goes ALL OUT when she thinks about a character's motivation and story. Obviously, in cons she’s able to do this more eloquently and makes it fit the situation better so I wonder what exactly causes that shift in her. Is it because at the end of the con is a goal that she’s really determined on scoring? are acting jobs just not high enough stakes for her?

Eliot’s actual style is finally here, but did he really just pull a yo mama joke and then throat punch that dude? harsh

PARKER STEALING A PAINTING WITHIN THE 3 SECONDS A GUARD TURNS AROUND AND THEN ANSWERING THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF A HEIST

alright so even if Hardison and Nate were talking, they never told the others what was happening so I’m 95% sure Nate might've mentioned a business to Hardison and then let Hardison go crazy with it (while stepping into reign him in)

Either Hardison found enough time to stare at Nate until he finished a painting or he found pictures of Nate to create that beautiful painting

 If Sophie bought three houses and Hardison bought all that illegal software then it’s safe to say that the hospital Nate donated to got a lot of money for their equipment (That must’ve been sam’s hospital right? that’s what's being implied)

There it is... the very first “it’s very distinctive” line

I love the way the crew will say something about the job being too dangerous or hard to pull off and all Nate has to say is something briefly, vaguely almost, that makes them realize it won’t be that hard and then they all suddenly hop on board and start talking about strategies etc.

“I remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits”

Anyone else notices that for the first few cons Parker wears that hair cap but eventually, she gives up on it and just leaves her hair down?

Ngl the first time I heard DuFert talk about buying congressmen, I had the same reaction as Hardison and Sophie. Then I also had a short crisis when I realized that’s essentially how the gov is run now :) 

DuFart is yelling at Eliot for being a stupid fuck but I have no idea how the fuck Eliot managed to pull off a name like that. I guess it also kind of hints at his expertise with food

Another thing I find great, and so satisfying is when Nate (or any of the team really) piece together what’s happening 

Mr. Perry flirting with Sophie despite being in a dangerous situation is a mood

Again, Eliot’s ability to spot the military and their distinctive looks. Kind of makes me wonder just how far Eliot got in the military. Obviously, a lot of his info he picked up as a retrieval specialist but he must've spent a good number of years in the military and with his skills, I think Eliot might’ve gotten pretty well known

After getting through 5 seasons I kind of forgot that everyone except Eliot had never hurt or killed people when they were on their own

Love when Hardison and Eliot have these little moments where they’re joking around a smiling

Also when Hardison tries to add some of his classic flair and Eliot has to shush him

It’s clearer after seeing Nate and Hardison share a beer and popcorn while watching Parker that they clearly seem to have bonded first and that Hardison is kind of like Nate’s right-hand man, at least in these early episodes

“Might want to ease up on that” Nate casually reminding Hardison that Parker is not like most other women and that he probably shouldn’t make comments like that about her, especially not when it’s only their second time working together

Eliot says he hates baseball but he manages to not only hit a camera from several yards away with a rock, but he manages to throw it hard enough that it shatters and if that’s not the arm of a baseball player idk what is

I missed the comment Eliot makes about Parker and Hardison having a creepy contest when I first watched this episode

Again, Nate brings up giving away money because now technically they’re the good guys and that’s something the crew will have to adjust to. Now they’re not just taking down bad guys and stealing money to steal money, now they’re doing it for someone and they’re giving that money to the people who really need it

Fucking Sophie and Nate acting like a crazy married couple who have no idea where they are or what's going on give me LIFE. Also, Nate just fucking calling this bigass dude with a gun a jackass 

Hardison makes me laugh at least once an episode, but watching him power walk away from Parker, whos putting a bomb on a crate, is a big fucking mood and I love him

“This is ‘cus I'm Jewish?” His nametag just says, White. Hardison put on a nametag that says White

Real slick of Nate to pull the walk away card when everyone's standing around enjoying how gratifying it feels to help someone who needs it (even though that was definitely his plan all along)

Of course, he bought himself a tesla. With as much money as they accumulate there’s enough to help someone but still take care of themselves, and I guarantee Nate brought his car to show it off and to show the crew that they can still spoil themselves. (plus this feels like another hint toward him being surprisingly good behind the wheel)

#i might make a separate post talking about how the team has never really killed anyone but well see #skunk of rage #leverage #eliot spencer #alec hardison #parker #sophie devereaux #nate ford #the homecoming job

[miss-tc-nova]

The Cat’s Meow - Jumin Han x Fem!Reader Pt 3

Confession time: I wrote like the first 9 chapters of this last year. It’s only recently when someone told me they liked the story that I decided I need to finish it and put it here. So I’ve got a lot of chapters to come out on the regular and a few more to flesh out...It’s going to be a long, angsty ride. ^-^

Part 3 - Eyes Only For Me

                Several weeks have passed since I met Jumin. We keep in contact and I get an invite to a party he and a handful of others are hosting for a charity event. Amber is also invited so I feel better knowing someone there.

                “Wow, this party has so many huge names,” I mumble to her, looking at all the famous people that had come.

                “Yeah. This place is amazing. Just six people did all this.”

                “Yeah, but you have to consider the people that those seven people are,” I reply, thinking about the sheer amount of people Jumin employed and how competent his assistant is. I notice Jumin walking towards us and feel my skin burn.

                “_____, I’m glad you could make it.” His deep, smooth voice sends shivers down my spine.

                “I did. Thank you for inviting me. This is an amazing party.”

                He smiles. “I’m glad you think so. And it’s a pleasure to see you as well, Miss Carlton.”  Amber returns his greeting. Someone starts calling and he glances away. “Please excuse me. I hope you enjoy yourselves tonight.”

                “’It’s a pleasure to see you as well, Miss Carlton,’” Amber mocks as he walks away. Despite that, she’s grinning ear to ear. “It’s nice to know I was just an afterthought.”

                Genuinely concerned that she might be insulted, I ask, “What do you mean?”

                “He clearly didn’t come this way to see me, _____. He only took a two second glance at me when he addressed me. Otherwise, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.”

                “I-I don’t think it was intentional,” I stammer, looking away.

                “Are you kidding me? Do you see how you’re dressed?” she goads. “If he didn’t have a reputation, that man would have probably kidnapped you right there and then.”

                “That sounds really creepy…”

                “Point stands.”

                Not much longer after that, we’re approached by a couple. They’re dressed to the nines and I suddenly feel extremely underdressed despite having purchased a rather expensive dress for the occasion. To my surprise, they’re looking for me. Turns out they have a cat who’s acting strange. I give them a bit of advice and make an appointment for them right there and they walk away rather pleased. Several times after that, people approach asking me questions about their pets. I didn’t bring that many business cards, but I almost run out. This is turning out to be a great networking opportunity.

                An area is cleared and the hosts play music for the guests to enjoy. Honestly, I would prefer music at a club, but the kind of music they played for their audience is nice for classical dance. It’s actually impressive how many guests were taught the classical stuff.

                “This is a bit weird,” I mutter to Amber.

                “Yeah, but some of the guests really enjoy it and those who don’t can just go over there and talk,” she explains.

                A slow song starts and I see gentlemen take their wives out onto the floor for slow dancing. I can’t help but think of how cute every couple looks.

                “Well, I’m gone,” Amber suddenly hums, practically running away.

                “Huh?” Before I can catch up and question her, I see a gloved hand offered to me. My skin burns at the sight of Jumin asking me to dance.

                “Care to dance?”

                It’s like I have no control as my hand slips into his and Jumin pulls me out onto the dance floor.

                “Can you waltz?” he asks casually, pulling me around to face him.

                Somehow, he’s caught me off guard enough to cause me to blather on. “N-Not really, I mean I learned basics in high school, but it’s been awhile and-”

                “Just follow my lead.” His smooth, sure attitude makes it impossible for me to argue.

                At first, I’m so nervous that I make a few missteps and run right into him. Before I can run away, he always pulls me right back to him to start again. It doesn’t take long for his confidence to spread and my nerves melt away, making dancing with him effortless.

                “This song is a bit intimate for a dance between friends.” I’m still working on my bravery, causing my statement to be barely above a whisper.

                “Isn’t that how most slow songs are anyway?” he points out. “Besides, when you’re not nervous, you dance beautifully. It would be a shame not to show off such talent.”

                I feel a blush creep across my cheeks. “I don’t know about that.”

                “I do.”

                He has that all knowing smile that often plays when he knows he’s caught me by surprise. It’s like a game he plays that only works in the most unconventional circumstances.

                There’s a round of applause and I practically leap into Jumin’s arms in shock. He chuckles and I realize that everyone had been watching us. That blush erupts across my face and I try to hide it with my hands.

                “Don’t be shy. Give a bow.”

                “Huh?”

                He takes my hand, bowing to the audience. I take a handful of my dress and curtsy awkwardly before he leads me out of the spotlight.

                “I didn’t know you could dance so well, Jumin,” a young blonde tells him as we approach a small group.

                “Even I did not know you had such talent.” I recognize his assistant who I’ve become acquaintances with.

                “It comes quite useful when you meet as high-class people as I do,” he answers calmly.

                Suddenly, a silver-haired man takes my hand, kissing the back of it. “And who is this lovely lady?” His gaze has hidden traces of a glare as he looks to Jumin. I recognize him as a rising actor in theater.

                “This is my friend, Dr. _____ _____.” Jumin swats Zen’s hand away from mine. “Keep your lips to yourself. Where are your manners?” Zen doesn’t attempt to conceal his glare this time.

                I wave bashfully. “Hello.”

                “Oh, she’s the vet who found Elizabeth,” the blonde answers. “Hello. I’m Yoosung.” I shake his hand.

                That’s when I notice a familiar red-head. “Luciel?”

                He perks up from the back of the group. “_____?”

                I smile, stepping forward to hug him. “How have you been?”

                “You know, same old.”

                “Wait, you know _____?!” Zen half shouts at him.

                “Yeah. She lets me come play with some of the cats at her clinic sometimes.” The words coming out of his mouth are so weird, but he says them so calmly.

                The group of five is so strange but it’s easy to see that they’re actually really good friends. It’s fun to see how they all contrast and react.

                Amber comes up, putting a hand on my arm. “I’m gonna head home, _____.”

                “Okay. Thanks for coming with me,” I reply.

                “No problem. See you later.”

                “See ya.”

                The party guests trickle out in small groups until nearly everyone is gone. I’m picking up my jacket and purse when Jumin approaches me again.

                “I didn’t get a chance to mention earlier, but you look stunning tonight.”

                “Well I must say, that suit there is just the cat’s meow,” I reply cheekily, proud to have amused the corporate heir.

                “Would you like to get a drink with me?”

                “Mr. Han, I wouldn’t figure you a drinking man! How garish,” I feign shock.

                “Well I don’t know about you, Dr. _____,” he replies with a smug grin as he straightens his cuffs. “But I prefer the finer wines more than anything.”

                “Do you have any idea how prissy you sound?” I laugh.

                “I only took cues from your comment on my drinking habits,” he retorts. He holds a hand out to me. “So fancy wine? Or not?”

                “Sure.” He makes sure everything is taken care of before escorting me to his car where we leave to his place for wine.

#jumin han #jumin x reader #jumin han x mc #jumin han x reader #jumin x mc #mysme jumin #fem!reader

[daydreaming-jessi]

Henlo I am buzzing with energy, so I decided to go ahead a conclude the whole cliffhanger in the Beej and shoggoth au I left last time lmao. This is gonna be a monster I feel so um I’m so sorry

SO! one night Lydia and Beej were hanging out, watching horror movies. Delia and Charles went out on a date, and the maitlands were having a quiet night in up in the attic.

The cats were acting weird all day. Shoggoth kept walking the house, checking every window, barely stopping to eat. Azazel was actually keeping still, seeming to keep vigil in the sitting room seemingly, watching the wall that still had marks on it from months before. Circe seemed to be on edge, actually hissing at anyone that petted her out of nowhere, and patchie and Beef kept hiding under the sofa.

Lyds and Beej tried to walk them, but they weren’t having a good time. Beej was worried, but lyds suspected a mouse had gotten into the house or they’d seen a stray outside and tried to appease beej’s worries with Friday the thirteenth.

So the two were sitting on the couch cuddling under the knitted blanket barb had managed to make, making jokes at cheesy acting and props, eating popcorn and just having a good time all around.

Suddenly there’s a shout upstairs, and a series of bangs and shuffles. Lydia and Beej share a concerned look. Suddenly shoggoth let out a very haunting yowl and charges upstairs, with Azazel close after. Lyds and Beej decide they should investigate.

Up they went, to the attic, coming up to a chilling sight. Green light filled the attic, Adam and Barb were suspended in air, looking very similar to a sight seen months before.

“Barb, Adam!” Lydia cries, rushing forward. Beej remained at the stairs, frozen, as a familiar energy hits him, holding him frozen in place.

“You.”

Lydia turned to see a familiar sneer, familiar red glasses and pearls. Juno.

“I should’ve known it was you harboring these fugitives,” Juno sneered.

“How... how are you back?!”

“You think a simple sandworm can stop me? My son is an idiot, kid. They only stop ghosts, not millennia old demons that keep order of the netherworld.”

Barbara lets out a pained scream at that moment.

“Let them go! They didn’t do anything!” Lydia sounded hysterical now. When barb was being exorcised before, it didn’t sound half as painful as it does now. She got the feeling Beej had been holding the power of the exorcism back, months before.

“These ghosts are fugitives, punk. They should’ve gone to the netherworld the day they passed. No exceptions. If they wanted to be in the living world, they should’ve gotten a pass. But now they have to be punished,” Juno huffed. Both ghosts let out pained cries.

“No! Wait, please, you can’t! They-they didn’t know-“ Lydia tried.

“Oh please. They have the book. They knew they were breaking the rules.” Juno interrupted.

Lydia was panicking now, and she quickly sucked in a deep breath. “Beetlejuice!” She cried.

“Don’t bother.”

Lydia turned to see Beej standing rigid, frozen with his eyes rolled into the back of his head, hair black. A skeleton stood beside him, chattering and clicking.

“I should’ve known he’d stay around here, bumming off a bunch of breathers. He grows a spine for once and then doesn’t even try to take over. Why do I even keep him around?” Juno brushes past Lydia, moving to circle Beej, like patchie eyeing up a squirrel he’s about to pounce on.

“Why do I keep him around? After everything I’ve done for him, and he drives me to drink my sorrows away! I’ve given him all I could and he just disappoints me over and over again... I believe I’ve had enough. Keep those two in place. It’s time I start over with this mess,” Juno smiled, sending a chill down lydia’s spine.

“No!” Lydia cries, leaping forward to stop the demon. But Juno flicks her wrist, and Lydia freezes in place, lifting off the floor.

“Well well Lawrence. Do you remember that little curse I cooked up for you? Wasn’t there a little clause about your true name? What was it, Betelgeuse?”

The room becomes cold. The green light becomes mixed with black shadows. Lydia feels tears springing into the corner of her eyes without thought.

“Ah. Now I remember. Oh foul son o’ mine, never shall you be seen lest named times three. But, beware. Should your true name be uttered thrice, bid farewell to any life. Such a shame, isn’t it? You had such potential. But you wasted it all and wasted me away with them. Remember, everything I do, I do for you. Maybe now you’ll learn your lesson,” Juno hissed.

Lydia wants to scream, fight, do anything. Her family is about to vanish before her, and there’s nothing she can do. Charles and Delia weren’t here to help, barb and Adam were going to be gone, Beej was about to be gone, and who knows what Juno was going to do to lyds. I’m so sorry Dead Mom.....

“Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse. Betel-“

A yowl fills the air, and suddenly Juno has a face full of black fur, white slashing the air. Juno screams, and the skeleton is bowled over by four other balls of fur, scattering it’s bones across the attic floor. Adam and barb fall to their knees, gasping and sweaty. Beej gasps, stumbling back. Lydia crashes to the ground. She can hear the door opening downstairs, the panicked shouts of her parents starting to come closer.

“Argh! What a horrible little creature! Ah, Jesus! How on earth did it touch me.... ? what did you do Lawrence?” Juno stares down the panting green haired demon. Beej glares back, hair a mixture of white and red.

“Can’t handle a little cat scratch ma?” He growls.

The door slams open, Charles and Delia enters looking ready to fight. They see Juno, sees their family collapsed to the floor, shoggoth lay unmoving as her kids slowly move to protect her, and both are ready to act.

“Get away from our family!” Charles nearly roars. Juno looks unimpressed, and tries to flick her hand again. “Dad!” Lydia cries, but nothing happens. Juno’s eyes widen. She tries again. Again.

Adam and barb have managed to stand and pull Lydia up to her feet as well, standing close to the door outside, ready to run if need be.

“What did you do Lawrence?”

“What was that thing about names again, Mom? How they are powerful enough to control an entire being if you know it right? Well, I’ve learned a lot these past few months, more than I ever learned from you. And one of the things I learned is that cats are smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, and mom cats are a helluva lot better than you ever were,” Beej smiles, remembering all the rants Delia and lyds gave when they heard just how well Juno raised him.

A hellish growl fills the air. Juno looks back to see the black shag she threw standing up, a neon green eye zeroed in on her.

“Ma, meet shoggoth and her kids patchie, Azazel, Circe, and beef. They don’t like it when our family is disturbed.”

A rumble fills the room, a chorus of hellish growls echo through the air, and Juno screams.

“NoNONO! How could you do such a stupid thing?! How could you?! I’ve given everything, everything! You idiot, you awful bastard! NooooOOOOOOOOOO-“

Juno seems to crumble in on herself, her screams filling the air. Barb and Adam clutch Lydia tighter. Charles and Delia rush forward, and grab Beej, pulling him away from the shrieking demon slowly spewing out smoke that reeks of cigarettes. The ghosts hurry to them, everyone holding each other close.

Shoggoth throws her head back and yowls, and the roof cracks open like a maw, and black and white stripes descend.

“NO, NO MY POWER! NO, STOP! I CAN’T BE STOPPED LIKE THIS NO!”

A sandworm wraps Juno up tight, the roof closes, and Shoggoth stalks closer, shadow leaking behind her, and overtaking the room. It’s like all those times shoggoth lays on a sleeping face, blocking the world out.

Slowly the light comes back. The bones are gone, all that’s left of Juno is her red candy glasses.

Sandy is lounged around the attic, seeming to purr at the black lump in the middle of its coils.

“Shoggoth!”

Lydia and Beej rush forward, closely followed by the others.

The kittens are pacing worriedly, mewling and gently butting at their mother’s body. Beej reaches out, like he did three months ago, gently scooping up the giant, black cat and cradling her close to his body.

“Is she...?” Lydia feel liquid start to drip down her face, her throat aches, all she’s able to think is that despite everything she’s lost another person.

A small purr sounds off from beej’s arms.

“Oh thank god!” “Shoggoth!” “How is she?” “She okay??” “It’s ok, lil guys, Mom’s gonna be okay.”

The kind vet that checked up on shoggoth all those weeks ago, performs a late night home visit.

Shoggoth now has a limp that may not go away, her tail is even more crooked, but she’s purring and grooming everyone like she didn’t just eviscerate a millennias old demon. The kittens just can’t decide what to do with themselves. They’re cuddling their mom, they’re cuddling their humans, they’re play fighting with Sandy.

Speaking of...

Sandy refuses to leave. No matter how much Beej tries to cajole her, the sandworm shakes her head stubbornly. “You’re too smart for your own good!” Beej grouches. But he is scratching her chins.

Delia: How on earth is she gonna fit in this house?

Sandy: *shrinks herself down to a more typical snake size to better match her environment*

Delia: *exhasperatedly clutching a crystal now* well I guess this is just what the universe planned for us I guess!

Adam: *happy snake nerd noises*

Lydia now teases Charles for the whole “our family” thing for a minute, but then he’s like “lyds I knew the instant that demon showed back up in our house that we’d adopted a family of ghosts.” She just smiles and hugs him. He’s certainly not wrong.

So things return to normal, just with the addition of a garbage disposal of a snake slithering around, randomly picking a human or ghost or demon or cat to be a new perch. Sandy certainly doesn’t have a favorite perch. She loves all the Adams and non-Adams equally, what are you talking about?

She has her own heating rock she retires to every night that Adam built for her. No kitty dare bother her lounging time, except for shoggoth, because sandy’s a pushover for shoggoth. But then again, who isn’t?

And Beej? He can’t complain. He’s not invisible or alone anymore. His mom won’t bother him again as he recovers from her years of abuse, he is constantly inundated with the cutest lil kitties and snake, has a punking lil sister, pseudo parents, and a cute couple of ghosts that call him sweet. All because of a girl who lost her mom, a widower, a life coach, two white middle class ghosts, and a ragged black cat, all of whom that he loves freely, and dearly.

Oh, there is one thing that’s new. Beef learned how to turn on the stereo. And somehow, Jump in the Line plays every time. Yeah, Lydia knows for certain Dead Mom is proud of their new family. She loves it a lot too.

PHEW! That be it for that. I may draw things for this au more, especially since they now have a pet sandworm snake lol. I’m so glad so many people like this au, I love it a lot. All because i just thought to myself “what if Beej found a cat?” and just started tapping at my phone. It’s dumb and cute and probably tropey and a lil ooc, but hey. That’s the fun of fandom. Lemme know if you’re curious about something, I love chatting about this stuff

beetleb@bes, pls dni

#beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice the broadway musical #beetlejuice #shoggoth au #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #delia deetz #charles deetz #lydia deetz #adam maitland #barbara maitland #beetlelands #space noises #lololol i hope i did ok i felt the pressure when writing this aha #juno shoggoth

[rhosyn-du]

Title: A Wonderful Institution Artist: @bidnezz​ Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, various background pairings Word Count: ~53k Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, discrimination against Downworlders, reference to rape, Clave-typical homophobia, implied character death, minor character death Summary: Magnus doesn’t have time for this bullshit. Warlocks are disappearing in New York City—five people in less than three months—and Magnus is determined to find them and protect the rest of his people from whatever took them. He doesn’t have time for politics, and he certainly doesn’t have time for whatever nonsense the Clave is proposing about marrying a Shadowhunter to a Downworlder as part of the new Accords. He doesn’t really have time for a pretty Shadowhunter who’s surprisingly kind to warlock children, either, but, well, he’s always been good at multitasking.

Alec always knew he couldn’t have what he wanted, but he’s spent the nearly four years since the newly-appointed Consul recalled his parents to Idris without explanation making the best of what he can have. When life suddenly offers up almost everything Alec actually wants on a silver platter, he can’t quite bring himself to trust it, especially when it comes with a million caveats and a side of impending disaster. But he knows how to handle disasters, even if the return of the Circle on top of Clave secrets that could destroy the Accords is way beyond the disasters he’s used to fielding. Hope, on the other hand? He doesn’t know what to do with that.

This fic was created for the @malecdiscordserver​​ Mini Bang 2020.

Chapter Four

In the utter silence that descended upon the room, all Alec could hear was his own heartbeat, so loud and so fast he almost thought everyone else in the room should hear it, too. Throughout the entire meeting, he’d felt like there wasn’t enough air in the room for him to breathe, but now it was the opposite, as though his brain were suddenly flooded with too much oxygen, leaving him lightheaded and giddy and vaguely nauseous. When he looked at Magnus, he was surprised to see something like his own shock mirrored back at him.

The silence was broken when the vampire representative muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “Dios mio,” at the same time that Maryse demanded, “Is this a joke?”

Alec tore his gaze away from Magnus. “Mother—” he started.

He was interrupted by the werewolf. “We aren't the ones questioning your choice, Shadowhunter. If anyone is treating this like a joke, it's you.”

“No one is treating this like a joke,” Consul Penhallow said, throwing a pointed look at Maryse.

Alec thought his mother might actually argue with the Consul, right here in front of the Downworld representatives, but the Seelie Queen spoke before Maryse could.

“I think it's a lovely match.”

Once again, the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. No one wanted to contradict the Seelie Queen, and seelies couldn't lie, so she meant what she said, but it was more than a little disturbing to have that kind of endorsement. Even Magnus looked uncomfortable, an expression that seemed wholly out of place on his usually self-assured face.

“The Clave will want some time to vet our choice, of course,” the Seelie Queen continued. “As we will to vet yours.”

“Naturally,” Consul Penhallow agreed. “We’ll be in touch by fire message by the end of the week, which should keep us on track to sign the updated Accords at the next new moon, as planned.”

“Indeed,” Magnus said. “We’ll be in touch, as well.” His eyes flickered to Alec for an instant, gaze full of meaning Alec couldn't decipher, then just as quickly back to Consul Penhallow, who met his polite smile with one of her own.

It dawned on Alec that they were talking like this was something that might actually happen, like he might actually marry Magnus. It wouldn't happen, of course. He knew the Clave would never let him marry a man, politics or not. They would find some reason to object to Magnus, and the Downworld would choose someone else—a woman—for him to marry. And even though that was what he'd spent the last several months expecting, what he'd chosen, the idea was suddenly alien and wrong.

Or, he realized, the Downworlders might find some reason to object to him. The brief flicker of hope that thought sparked died instantly when he realized that meant the Clave would choose another Shadowhunter to marry Magnus. That didn’t even bear thinking about.

He was pulled from his racing thoughts by his mother's hand on his arm. He must have missed the closing of the meeting, because the Downworld representatives were filing out of the room. Alec tried to catch Magnus's eye, but he seemed engrossed in a quiet yet intense conversation with the vampire.

“We’ll fix this,” Maryse promised him in a low voice. “I'm sure you understand now why your father and I were so concerned when you volunteered. But I'll talk to Consul Penhallow. I'll talk to the whole Council. No one is going to make you marry that—” her face twisted in disgust “—that warlock.”

“There's nothing to fix,” Alec replied evenly. “The Downworlders chose their representative just like the Clave did, and maybe Magnus isn't who any of us expected, but you don't have to make a scene just because you were expecting a woman.”

Maryse stared at him. “I was expecting a werewolf. Maybe a seelie. I wasn't expecting a warlock. I wasn't expecting Magnus Bane.”

For the first time, it occurred to Alec that his parents must know Magnus, at least in passing. According to the Clave’s file, he’d been High Warlock of Brooklyn the entire time Robert and Maryse had been Heads of the New York Institute, which would have given them ample opportunity to run into each other.

“What do you have against Magnus?” Alec regretted the question as soon as the words left his mouth. 

“Magnus Bane has something of reputation,” Robert said, stepping up to stand beside his wife. It was the first time in the years since they’d been recalled to Alicante that Alec had seen his parents present such a united front. “Even for a warlock, he’s a bit of a lothario. Alec, there is so much you don’t know about him.”

“All of which,” Consul Penhallow interrupted with a tight smile, “the Council will take into consideration during the vetting process.”

Alec’s breath caught in his throat. That almost sounded like…

“You can’t honestly be considering this,” Maryse said, echoing Alec’s thoughts, if not the sentiment behind them.

“There will be plenty of time for you to make your objections in an official capacity when we return to Alicante,” Consul Penhallow told her. “Right now, I need to speak with Alec.”

It was a clear dismissal, and although Maryse looked like she wanted to argue, she turned and stalked from the room, Robert trailing after her.

Alec turned to the Consul and found himself caught in Jia Penhallow’s unwavering gaze. Despite being more than half a foot shorter than he was, she had the uncanny ability to make Alec feel small in a way that few other people could.

“What are your thoughts on this, Mr. Lightwood?” the Consul asked.

It was a good question, and not one he was in any way prepared to answer. Alec chose his words carefully. “My reasons for volunteering for this union remain unchanged, Consul. Who the Downworlders choose to represent their end has never factored into it.” He was starting to think that maybe it should have.

Consul Penhallow’s mouth twitched in what Alec though might have been amusement. “Good answer, but not what I was getting at. The Council needs to vet the Downworld’s choice. Magnus Bane is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. You’ve been running the New York Institute for over three years. Surely, you must have some opinions on the man.”

Alec didn’t know whether he was more surprised that Consul Penhallow truly seemed to think the Council would seriously consider him and Magnus getting married (and, oh, he could not think about that right now), or that she’d referred to him running the Institute. She, along with the rest of the Council, usually at least pretended like his parents still ran things here.

“I, uh.” He faked a cough to give himself a few more seconds to formulate a coherent response. “I only met Mr. Bane recently, but I’ve worked with him a couple times, and I found him to be—” fascinating, beautiful, breathtaking “—very easy to work with.”

Consul Penhallow’s face remained impassive save for her eyebrows, which raised nearly to her hairline. “I’ve heard Magnus Bane described in many ways by many people,” she told him, “but I believe this is the first time I’ve ever heard him described as easy to work with.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Alec said with a shrug.

Consul Penhallow gave him a long look. “It’s not often I find myself agreeing with a Downworlder, but perhaps the Seelie Queen had a point.”

With great effort, Alec managed to force the question he’d been wanting to ask past the cacophony of butterflies in his stomach. “Do you think there’s really a chance the Council might approve Magnus?”

“I don’t know,” Consul Penhallow said. “It’s certainly an unconventional match, and there are plenty of people who will oppose it for that reason alone, but Magnus Bane is surprisingly well-respected among Downworlders, which makes him a particularly good choice symbolically. He’s the High Warlock of Brooklyn and you’re Acting Head of the New York Institute, which has a certain symmetry. And from everything I’ve seen, you’re at least as stubborn as your mother, which makes you less likely than most to be influenced or corrupted by someone like Bane.” She gave him a resigned shrug. “It’s really a shame neither of you is a woman, or I think even a few skeptics of this whole endeavor might be convinced.”

Alec didn’t know how to respond to any of that—wasn’t, in all honesty, sure he remembered how to breathe properly—so he simply nodded.

“Thank you for your input,” Consul Penhallow said. “I’ll be sure to relay it to the rest of the Council. We’ll send you a fire message when we’ve made our decision.”

And with that, Alec was left alone in the empty room. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, trying to pull his thoughts into some kind of coherent order, but the click of approaching heels snapped him out of it.

He looked up, expecting his mother had returned to give him another lecture on what a terrible idea this was, but it was Izzy who stepped into the room, followed by Jace.

“Alec, what happened?” Izzy asked. “Mom came out of that meeting looking like she was about to stab someone.”

“She, uh.” He swallowed down what he was sure was the beginning of a hysterical laugh. If he let it out, he thought he might never stop. “She doesn't approve of who the Downworlders want me to marry.”

“Whoever they chose, she can't be as bad as all that,” Jace said. “Not unless you think they're trying to sabotage the Accords.”

“Do you approve, Alec?” Izzy wanted to know.

“I don't think it's sabotage,” Alec answered, ignoring his sister's question. He wasn't even sure he knew the answer.

He liked Magnus, so of course he didn't disapprove the way his parents did. But he'd volunteered for this marriage assuming whoever the Downworlders choose, she'd be entirely the wrong gender for attraction to even enter into it. Instead, they'd chosen Magnus, a man Alec hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since they met. And he'd let himself think about Magnus, because Magnus could never be anything more to him than a seductive fantasy, not when he was about to get married. Except, now he was maybe marrying Magnus, and he didn't know what to do with that at all.

“Then what is it?” Jace asked, and Alec knew he was as much asking what had Alec in a state of near panic as he was about Maryse's reaction. Alec could only imagine what Jace was probably feeling through their parabatai bond right now.

“Magnus,” Alec said, and he was proud of how steady his voice sounded. “The Downworlders want me to marry Magnus.”

Jace and Izzy exchanged a look, then Izzy asked cautiously, “Do you want to tell us about it?”

“No.” That, at least, Alec had a definitive answer for.

“Cool,” Jace said, pushing himself off the wall he'd been leaning against. “Then you can come spar with me.”

“Oh, Alec gets an invitation to spar, but not me, huh?” Izzy said.

Jace flashed her his signature cocky grin. “I just thought getting knocked on his ass a few times might distract Alec from his problems, but you're welcome to come get knocked on your ass, too.”

And just like that, Alec's world made sense again, at least this tiny part of it.

“Yeah, we'll see if you're still smirking like that when I wipe the floor with you,” Alec said, falling comfortably into the familiar banter as he followed Jace toward the training room.

“Please,” Izzy scoffed. “You know I'm going to kick both your asses.”

Cocktail night that week was moved to Magnus’s loft, nominally because Catarina needed to be somewhere quiet enough she’d hear her phone if whoever was watching Madzie needed to get in touch with her, but Magnus suspected it was really because his friends wanted to lecture him about making questionable life choices, and were just kind enough not to do so in public. He’d already gotten an earful from Raphael after the meeting with the Clave.

“I’m more shocked that everyone went along with it than anything else,” Catarina said after Magnus finished giving her a very abbreviated recap of how, exactly, he’d come to be tentatively engaged to a Shadowhunter.

“I foolishly assumed he had a good reason,” Raphael told her. “In retrospect, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“I had a good reason,” Magnus objected.

“‘He has pretty eyes and I had three glasses of whiskey’ is not a good reason.”

Magnus glared at him. “I never said anything about Alexander’s eyes.”

Magnus would, he was sure, have done a better job of defending himself if his wards hadn’t alerted him to the arrival of another person. The only person, in fact, who currently had access to pass through Magnus’s wards without express invitation, precisely because he never, ever showed up unannounced. At least he never had before.

“What,” Ragnor’s voice rang through the loft, “is this absolute nonsense I hear about you marrying a Lightwood?”

Magnus blinked at him in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s cocktail night,” Ragnor answered, reaching into Magnus’s liquor cabinet to retrieve the bottle of Laphroaig he knew would be there. “And I heard through the grapevine that you could use your friends’ support at the moment. As well as a bit of gentle mockery.”

“I did not say gentle,” Raphael protested.

Glass of scotch in hand, Ragnor settled onto the chair across from Magnus. “I've heard Raphael's version of events. Would you care to give me yours?”

“Don't listen to Raphael,” Magnus said. “It had nothing to do with Alexander's pretty eyes.”

Ragnor glanced at Catarina. “How many drinks has he had?”

“Just the one since I got here.”

“I'm not drunk,” Magnus told them irritably. “I'm just thinking.”

“It's about time you tried that,” Raphael said.

Magnus ignored him. “I sincerely doubt the Clave's prejudices will allow them to even consider a marriage between two men, but if they're serious about this marriage of politics, which they appear to be, then they’re going to want to reject me in the least insulting way possible.”

“Do Shadowhunters even know how to not be insulting when talking to a Downworlder?” Catarina wondered.

“No,” Magnus said. “Which means it will probably take them a few days to come up with something, and that means I have time.”

“Time for what, exactly?” asked Ragnor.

“To convince Alexander that he doesn't want to go through with this marriage.”

There were a couple beats of silence before Raphael said, “I take it back. Stop thinking. You're doing it wrong.”

“What if you're wrong?” Catarina asked. “The Clave is already overlooking their prejudices insisting one of their own marry a Downworlder. What if this is important enough to them that they overlook other prejudices, as well? Then you'll be stuck trying to find a way out of this without jeopardizing the Accords.”

“Even if I'm wrong about the Clave, there's still the Lightwoods to consider. There's no way Maryse Lightwood is letting me marry her son.”

“Just so I'm clear on the plan,” Ragnor said, “you decided on the spur of the moment to volunteer to marry a man with pretty eyes so you would have time to convince him not to get married at all?”

“Well, it sounds ridiculous when you say it like that,” Magnus said. “But in my defense, I was three drinks in when I came up with this plan.” He sighed. “And he looked so sad and so scared underneath it all, and I couldn't just let it happen.”

“Magnus,” Ragnor said softly. It was his serious and concerned voice. Magnus was not prepared for Ragnor to be serious and concerned. “Are you in love with this nephilim?”

Magnus gave him a sharp look. “Don't be ridiculous. I've met him a grand total of three times.” He stared down into the dregs of his old fashioned. “I think maybe I could love him, though.”

Ragnor sighed. “You certainly do know how to make things difficult for yourself, old friend.”

“Have you thought about what you're going to say to him?” Raphael asked, and Magnus didn't know whether to be grateful or annoyed that Raphael finally had non-insult-based input.

“I’ve thought of a number of things to say to him, none of them actually helpful.”

“So, you decided to spend your time sitting at home drinking, instead?” Catarina asked.

Magnus glared at her, and she held up a placating hand. “Just trying to understand the plan, here.”

Magnus was saved from having to try to explain the plan that he didn’t actually have by the arrival of a fire message.

“Ah,” he said, “someone must require the assistance of the High Warlock. Since, you know, some people actually appreciate me and don’t spend their time mocking my misery.”

“Their loss,” Raphael muttered.

“There’s no need to be bitter just because some of us…” Magnus trailed off as he read the contents of the message.

Something must have shown on his face, because all three of his friends went from relaxed to alert in less than a heartbeat.

“What is it?” Catarina asked. “Another disappearance?”

Magnus shook his head. “It’s from the Spiral Council,” he answered faintly. “The Clave sent word that they’ve finished their vetting process. They have no objections to me.”

It made Magnus feel only slightly better that his friends all looked as stunned as he felt.

The shocked silence was broken by the loud ringing of electronic wind chimes.

“That’s my babysitter,” Catarina said, reaching for her phone. “I’m sorry, Magnus, but I have to go.”

“Go,” he told her. “Take care of Madzie. I’ll be fine.”

Catarina gave him an apologetic smile and a quick hug before rushing out the door.

“Well,” Ragnor said with forced cheer, “I think this calls for another round of drinks, don’t you?”

“Just hand me the bottle,” Magnus said.

“Before you get too much farther into your drunken binge,” Raphael said, “there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Talk fast,” Magnus told him, taking a swig of bourbon straight from the bottle to emphasize his point.

“The missing warlocks you’ve been looking for,” Raphael said. “I think there might be a few night children missing, too.”

“Might be?” Magnus asked, setting the bottle down.

Raphael shook his head. “You know how Camille is. I asked her about a couple people I haven’t seen around lately, and she told me she’s sure they’re around somewhere.”

“Which could mean she’s actually seen them recently,” Magnus said, “or that she has them off doing something for her.

“Or that they actually are missing, and she just doesn’t care,” Raphael finished the thought.

Magnus glared at the bottle he’d set on the table. He was going to have to talk to Camille about this. He really didn’t want to talk to Camille. He wanted even less to do it sober, but this required his actual attention.

He turned his glare on Raphael. “I was really looking forward to getting exceptionally drunk, you know.”

Raphael put a hand on his shoulder. “I was really looking forward to you pulling your head out of your ass and deciding a pretty-eyed Shadowhunter wasn’t worth all this trouble. I guess we can be disappointed together.”

Alec was not panicking. He was letting a six-year-old teach him how to fold a paper frog (a little awkward, since she was using magic to do it, and he wasn’t) and ignoring the text his mother had sent him (which promised a much, much longer conversation in person) and not thinking at all about the fact that Clave really did want him to marry Magnus (which was almost everything he’d ever wanted except not at all, oh god) and he was. Not. Panicking.

“No, like this,” Madzie said, unfolding and refolding her paper.

Alec tried again. His paper did not look like a frog. Maybe a little like one of those tiny, smush-faced dogs, if he tilted his head, but not a frog. He was not panicking.

They both turned at the sound of a portal opening, and Madzie jumped to her feet to greet Catarina with a hug. It was hard to believe she was the same timid girl Alec had met only a week ago.

“Thanks for coming back early,” Alec said. “I hope I didn’t ruin your night. I just— Something came up.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Catarina told him, ruffling Madzie’s hair. “Nurse, remember? I know what it’s like to have something unexpected come up that needs your immediate attention.”

“Right.” Alec turned to Madzie. “I’m sorry I can’t stay and play longer, but I’ll practice my frogs so I can make better ones next time.”

“Okay,” Madzie agreed. “And if you make bad frogs even after you practice, I can share my frogs.”

“That’s very generous of you,” Alec told her, grabbing his jacket off the back of the couch.

“You want a portal back to the Institute?” Catarina offered.

Alec shook his head. “Thanks, but I could use the walk.”

Putting off the conversation his mother was sure to expect as soon as he arrived sounded like a fantastic idea. Along with the conversation Izzy was no doubt planning to spring on him. Alec loved his family more than anything, but sometimes they were more than he could handle, and this thing with Magnus… It was confusing enough without his mother and sister in the middle of it.

“Hey,” Alec said, pausing with his jacket halfway on as something occurred to him. “You know Magnus, right? Like, personally?”

Catarina’s expression was carefully neutral when she answered, “Magnus is one of my oldest and dearest friends.”

“Right,” Alec said, finally remembering to pull the jacket over his other arm. “Okay. I don’t know if he mentioned— Or maybe you just heard? But we’re sort of—”

“I was having drinks with Magnus when you texted me,” Catarina interrupted him. “I take it you got a similar message to the one he received this evening?”

“Yes,” Alec said, letting out a relieved breath. He didn’t know why finding the words to talk about this was so difficult, but he was glad he didn’t have to explain the entire situation. “And I was thinking it might be a good idea for me and Magnus to talk. Not through official channels. But it would be rude to just show up at his loft, and a fire message seems a little too impersonal, but I was thinking maybe you could give him my number and tell him he can call if he wants to, you know, talk. About things.”

Alec winced internally. That was a whole lot of rambling, but he thought it got the point across, at least.

Catarina stared at him for a long moment, then held out her hand. “Give me your phone.”

“Why?” Alec asked, handing over his phone anyway.

“So I can give you Magnus’s number,” she said, opening his contacts. “I love Magnus dearly, and I like you a whole lot better than I do most Shadowhunters, but I am not going to pass messages for the two of you.” She handed him his phone. 

“Thank you,” he said, pocketing the phone.

As soon as he was outside, Alec texted Jace.

On my way back to the Institute. If you can find an important and time-sensitive mission that needs my attention before I get there, I will owe you a lot.

Jace answered immediately. How much is a lot? Then, seconds later, JK, I’ve got you, buddy. We’ve actually got one of those already. I’ll tell Iz to get ready, and we can head out when you get back.

Thank you, Alec wrote back. You are the best parabatai.

He was putting his phone away when he received a final message from Jace. I know.

The prospect of spending the rest of the night on an actual mission instead of dancing around conversations he wasn’t even ready to think about, let alone actually have cheered Alec considerably, and he made it back to the Institute in much less time than he’d originally planned.

Jace met him at the entrance. “Izzy’s still getting dressed, but if you can get her to hurry, we can get out of here before Maryse gets off her call to Alicante.”

“Do you know what the call is about?” Alec wanted to know.

“No idea, but she closed herself up in the office to take it.”

As curious as he was about what his mother was up to, Alec didn’t want to risk actually having to talk to her right now. Thankfully, Izzy didn’t need much hurrying, as she met him in the hallway halfway between her room and the ops center.

“Really?” Alec couldn’t help asking as he took in the white wig slung over Izzy’s hand.

“Don’t change the subject,” Izzy said. “And anyway, demons dig blondes.”

“That’s white, and you can’t change the subject at the beginning of a conversation.”

“Glad you agree,” Izzy said, twirling the wig around one finger. “Mom told me you heard back from the Clave.”

“She told you,” Alec repeated.

“Okay,” Izzy admitted, “I might have been in the room when she was telling Consul Penhallow exactly what a terrible idea this is, but Alec,” she grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop, “I want to know what you think about it.”

“I think we have a mission,” he said shaking off her hand and striding into the ops center. “Jace, we’re ready.”

“Nice choice, Izzy,” Jace commented, taking in her outfit. “Demons dig blondes.”

“Told you,” Izzy said smugly.

“Am I the only person who knows the difference between blonde and white?” Alec wondered aloud.

“All right, guys,” Jace began. “For some reason, our demon friends are killing mundanes and draining their blood.”

“Why do they want blood?” Alec asked. “Wait, do you think these could be the same demons who are taking warlocks? Or are we dealing with multiple hordes of hunting demons?”

“If they are the same demons, the MO is totally different,” Jace said, walking to the weapons rack and pulling out seraph blades for each of them. “These demons are leaving drained mundane bodies lying around left and right.”

“There must be something special about the blood,” Izzy guessed, taking one of the blades.

“What could be special about mundane blood?” Alec wondered.

“You get me a sample, and I’ll tell you exactly what they’re looking for,” Izzy promised.

Alec supposed it was as good a place to start as any.

#malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #fanfic

[poppibranchlover]

Nine Lives, One Fight - Part 24

The story: Deep in the forest of Troll Town, there lies a mysterious tiny purple mushroom that has a secret magical ability. King Peppy calls this mushroom forbidden for all Trolls to go near it. One day, while Branch is out in the woods doing his survival research studying, he encounters it and, not knowing it is a regular mushroom, decides to harvest it and bring it home. But in the next morning, its magic effects transform him into a small blue cat! After being sent to the animal pound, his girlfriend, Poppy, finds him and decides to adopt him, although not recognizing it is Branch. Desperate to finish his research project due for a special event invented by Poppy, Branch is forced to learn how to behave like a pet cat and must figure out what caused him to become one.

You already seen what had happened in Part 23. Now get ready for Part 24!:

The next morning, Poppy and Branch went for a morning stroll in Troll Village. After a few minutes of their time, they stop at a corner which lies an enormous green tree root. Poppy settled her backpack down and unpacked everything that she brought along; cans of cat food, a ball of yarn, lots of cat toys and tuna sandwiches. She spent her time taking care of Branch, giving him kibble for him to eat and toys for him to play.

Branch enjoyed most of his time with Poppy, even when he is now a cat. He wished he could even speak with her someday, but he just couldn’t feel like he wanted to. After all, he liked behaving like Poppy’s pet cat for the rest of his life because he gets to enjoy her daily routine of petting his soft and cuddly blue fur.

He hopped onto Poppy’s lap and took a nap, yawning and stretching before closing his eyes. Smiling, Poppy gently caresses his fur, making him purr. “PUUUUURRRRRR….. PURRRRRRRRRRR……PURRRR….”

Branch loved the way she usually pets his fur. It felt wonderful! He liked to see if this can last forever...until he and Poppy heard a trio of voices.

It was Biggie, Smidge and Guy Diamond!

The three Trolls approached them, chatting anxiously. It was when Poppy heard these news that she felt fear invading her, trying to keep her cool.

“Haven’t you heard what Peppy told us about what really happened to Branch?!” Biggie cried. “I can’t believe he had died after he touched the mushroom!”

Guy gasped in horror. “Oh no! What if Poppy knows about this? I’m afraid she’ll be grief-stricken to hear the terrible news!” he said as he panicked, pulling his hair.

Smidge tried to calm the two Trolls down. “Well, we’ll have to tell her truth,” she said in a grave voice. “I’m fairly disappointed how losing a friend would turn out.”

Poppy and Branch walked up to their friends, looking very disappointed at what they’ve been hearing.

“Guys?” Poppy asked, trying to get their attention. “What’s going on?”

Biggie stepped forward, feeling like it wasn’t easy to say the bad news to her. He simply tried to say “Poppy, are you feeling okay that…Branch is gone?”

Branch felt a wave of shock and sadness over his face as he listened.

“I think so, Biggie,” Poppy said, fiddling with her fingers nervously. Eventually, she moved on to the next subject. “But what’s more important now is that my dad is forming a larger investigation team that will eventually find more evidence of the missing Archaeo morphisis.”

Guy just shrugged. “I don’t think it was a good idea,” he replied. “It might be really hard for more Trolls to look for more clues related to the incident.”

“I guess so...” Poppy muttered, stroking Branch’s hair. “I bet any of us can try our luck finding it.”

Seeing the face she had been making right now, Biggie, Smidge and Guy stared at her. They knew she was hiding something from them, and understood perfectly if she did not want to talk about it. But it was obvious that she loved Branch!

Biggie looked down at Branch, who was now busy cleaning himself by licking his paw. “First of all, can I ask you a question regarding your pet cat?” he asked, pointing at him.

“Yes, why?” Poppy asked the big Troll. “What…what do you think about keeping a pet?”

The question had slightly surprised her friends. Silence had started between them, until Biggie put an end to it. “When I heard your cat meowing in the animal shelter during Mr. Dinkles’ vet checkup, he didn’t look very happy there. It looked like a child who wanted to play with you,” he explained.

Poppy felt somehow relieved. At least some could see what she had seen.

Smidge began to explain to her. “Second of all, why did his face look a lot like Branch’s?” She pointed at him, who was scratching himself intensely with his back paw, working a spot just behind his neck.

Poppy looked down at her cat, not daring to blurt something scary to her friends. She waved her hands back and forth with embarrassment. “Hehe…what’s the difference between Mr. Tickle or Branch?” she asked, giggling nervously. “They both look alike…a matter of factly.” She rubbed her chin, as though she might be crazy thinking that her cat might really be Branch, or maybe she was not so sure that the cat might be his identical twin.

Guy scratched his head as a new thought knocked around inside it. “If your cat and your friend really look the same, why don’t you tell us more about Branch’s mysterious disappearance?” he asked.

Branch shrank back with embarrassment. He nudged at Poppy’s side in order to make her think of something.

She took a deep breath and casually said “Don’t worry, guys! I’m sure Branch will be fine. I was just taking care of my pet cat, and that’s all.” He raised her hands up, showing her palms. Her right hand had a little cat scratch scar, the one Branch had accidentally made during their argument yesterday.

At the sight of the scar, the three Trolls gasped in horror! “Oh my gah!” Smidge cried. “What is that in your hand?”

“What?” Poppy asked, wanting to know what they’re worried about until she noticed her scar. Shrieking, she hid her hand, embarrassed. “That’s not what you’ve been thinking.”

“Poppy, I can sense that something’s wrong with your pet,” Guy said. “What did he do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything wrong to me!” Poppy protested. “It’s just a cute ordinary pet cat, like most cats!”

As Branch watched her talk with her friends, a wave of guilt came over him. But it wasn’t because he had scratched her hand, it was because he just wanted Poppy to recognize him. He’d been so distracted on the Show-and-Tell festival that he’d forgotten that cats are not signed in for this party, and now he had let everyone down.

As Biggie, Smidge and Guy continued to rant about Branch’s disappearance in front of her, hearing all these was all too much for Poppy. Slowly, she packed her things and walked away, with Branch trailing after her. Noticing this, the three Trolls stopped her.

“Hey, Poppy,” Biggie asked. “Where are you going?”

“Yeah, your dad was arranging you to lead your investigation team today,” Guy reminded her. “Don’t you have anything else planned?”

Poppy and Branch stopped in their tracks and turned back. “Uh, it’s just that I need to give Mr. Tickle some space for now,” Poppy said, happy to have an excuse. “Talk to you guys, later!”

Then she and Branch walk away. Biggie, Smidge and Guy watched them go, wondering how strange their queen has been acting lately.

“That went…quite well,” Smidge muttered grimly to herself.

Just then, Cooper burst from out of nowhere. “Hey, guys! What did I miss?!” he asked. Then he spotted a can of spilled cat kibble that Branch has been eating earlier and crowed “Ooh! Kibble!”

He lowered his head with his long neck and started eating the kibble in huge chomps. Biggie, Smidge and Guy watched him eat in great horror.

“Cooper, don’t eat that!” Guy screamed, his glittery auto-tune voice shimmering wildly in a panic.

“Oh god!” Biggie cried. “Mr. Dinkles, don’t watch!” He tried to cover his pet worm’s eyes from this epic abomination.

“Oh, completely disturbing!” Smidge shrieked.

After Cooper devoured some of the cat food, his tummy suddenly grumbled...loudly. URRRKK!!!

“Uh-oh!” With that, Cooper began to sweat, and an embarrassed expression spread over his face. He quickly ran off, yelling with his mouth full. “I’M OUTTA HERE!!!”

After he left in a flash, Smidge slapped her face and shook her head. “Sheesh!” she grumbled with frustration. “When are you gonna learn how to live in a healthy diet?!”

In another part of the village, Poppy laid out her scrapbooking materials on the ground and began to make a new scrapbook of her own. Cutting felt with scissors, she turned to see Branch, who was gnawing on her tuna sandwich he was trying to pull out of her backpack.

“This is the perfect spot for scrapbooking, Mr. Tickle!” she said, sighing happily as she cut a piece of blue felt, making a miniature scrapbook version of her cat.

While Poppy got busy, Branch pulled the sandwich out of her bag, chewing and gnawing hungrily at it. He loved the smell of tuna stuffed in this delicious treat that he kept gnashing on the bread and the stacked food slices, unaware of what Poppy is planning to put into her scrapbook.

When Poppy saw what he was doing, she displayed a teasing smile on her face. Branch looked back at her, still holding the tuna sandwich in his mouth.

“Mr. Tickle, what are you doing with my sandwich?” Poppy asked, giggling. “You’re hungry now?”

Branch shrugged, showing no sign of shame at all. He went back to eating the sandwich, and Poppy just laughed at him. Then she took the sandwich from his mouth and held it in her hands. Half of it had been chomped by Branch’s hungry little teeth!

Branch reached out a paw to the sandwich, but Poppy lifted her hand higher away from him, still holding on to it. “Oh, silly little kitty!” she said with a laugh. “You know there’s enough for both of us to share!”

Poppy took a bite on her sandwich, leaving out little Trolly tooth marks in it. She saved the rest for Branch, who bit into it when she handed it over to him.

“Awwww!!” Poppy said as she watched him eat. She would have thought that her pet cat also loved tuna, just like her boyfriend. But she remembered what her friends told her about why her cat looked a lot like Branch because of seeing his face for the first time, and she knew she doesn’t want to go further on the question why Branch and Mr. Tickle look the same.

Shaking off the bad memories, Poppy pulled the sandwich back so she can have some for herself, but Branch grabbed hold of it, wanting some more for himself. After a little struggle with their one single sandwich, they looked lovingly at each other for a moment. Both of their eyes shone with great love within their hearts.

After Poppy set the sandwich aside, Branch knew it might be the perfect time for them to kiss. He closed his eyes and brought his lips forward, but Poppy moved her fingers and brought her hands close to his chest, causing him to tumble on his back. He laughed as she tickled him in his belly, which is the most supremely ticklish part of his entire furry body.

“Nothing like a good tickle can keep you happy!” Poppy said happily as she kept running down her fingers to his little blue tummy. “Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy!”

“Hahaha! That tickles!” Branch said through his laughter, enjoying the feeling of being rubbed in the belly. “HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA!!”

As she continued tickling Branch, Poppy can clearly see that her cat seems to be making the same facial expressions as her boyfriend. She stopped for a moment to think why Branch and her cat look the same, and she kept wondering if there were some cats that look just like her own somewhere in the village. But could her friends really be right about that?

Poppy had no time to think some more because her dad showed up from just a few feet from her. “Hey, Poppy!” King Peppy called to her daughter. “Can I have a word with you, please?”

She stood up to hear his voice and said “Oh, sure! What is it you want to tell me, Dad?”

Then she walked up to the old king, leaving Branch still laying down on his back on the ground. He moved his paws around in a desperate attempt to get back on his legs and meowed for Poppy to come back to him, as if he wanted more tickles in his tummy. “Meow? Meeooww, meeeoooww!!”

Just then, a tiny blue butterfly fluttered by and made a gentle landing on Branch’s nose. It sat there, moving its little wings up and down. Branch stared at it for a second, and he tried reaching out a paw to his face to catch the butterfly, causing it to fly away.

Now having the sudden urge to catch it, Branch got up and chased after the flying little bug, pouncing towards it with his paws outstretched.

Meanwhile, Poppy approached her father, who was holding a confidential letter in his hands. “What is it, Dad?” she asked.

King Peppy handed the note to her. “The Troll Disappearance Investigation is arranging some leadership assignments for you,” he explained. “As Queen, you shall be able to lead them during their cases.”

“So it means I’ll find more clues related to this week’s incident?” asked Poppy as she read the contents of the paper written with bold handwriting.

“Not only that incident about the Archaeo morphisis, all of the TDI’s assignments,” said Peppy. “They’re looking forward to promoting you as head minister.”

Poppy couldn’t believe what she had heard so far. She sprang her arms wide with excitement. “That’s wonderful, Dad!” she said. “I’m being promoted for the investigation club! I can’t wait to lead everyone on during their cases!”

“And I know you will do well as a good leader,” King Peppy said, putting an arm on her shoulder.

As Poppy and her dad talked, Branch ran past them, chasing the little butterfly around the area. It landed on a rock, but he caught up to it and pounced for it, making it flutter away from him again.

Poppy giggled as she watched her cat play with the butterfly. She turned to King Peppy and asked “Do you think pets are allowed in the TDI department?”

Branch stopped chasing the butterfly to hear her sentence. Happy that he is no longer chasing it, the butterfly flew away to its freedom in the woods.

Poppy wanted her father to agree to the point if Branch will come along with her to the investigation agency, but instead, King Peppy just shook his head sadly. “Sorry, Poppy,” he said. “But the TDI has rules against pets.”

“Why not?” Poppy said anxiously. “I don’t want my cat to get lonely in my pod!” 

At the sound of that, Branch walked up to her side and looked up at her with his big pleading eyes, agreeing with her statement. “Meow!” he begged.

“Yes, but one of the agents was highly allergic to cats, so I suggest you put on a clean dress and go without your pet cat,” King Peppy explained.

“Meow...” Branch meowed sadly at those awful news. He just wanted to accompany Poppy during her job, but since the TDI won’t allow any animals, it was now forbidden for him to go there because he is a cat. He sat down and hung his head with disappointment.

Stroking Branch’s head, Poppy reluctantly agreed to the point at what’s best for her pet, and she certainly doesn’t want some Trolls who suffer some allergies to swell up from the presence of a furry animal. Branch thought about the same thing too, as he had been a big fan of keeping Trolls safe from danger, especially preventing them to consume allergy sickness.

Sighing, Poppy nodded to her father and said “Okay, fine.” She turned to Branch and told him “I’m sorry, bud. I guess you’re gonna have to stay at home.”

King Peppy held on to his cane with anticipation. “It’s good that you are listening, Poppy,” he said as he prepared to leave. “Meet you in the TDI’s conference office in a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Poppy replied in an unsure voice. “I…I will be there.”

“Very well,” King Peppy said kindly. Then he walked away, leaving Poppy and Branch alone in their spot in the woods.

“Meow?” Branch meowed with complete concern and worriedness, unable to believe that there will be no more quality time between him and Poppy. She petted his head to comfort him as he looked up at her anxiously.

“Sorry, Mr. Tickle. I’m afraid I have more queen duties to be done rather than spending time with you,” Poppy explained as she continued caressing his hair. “But you must understand that I’m now the Queen and I need to be more hardworking and busy, is that okay?”

She rubbed Branch’s chin, but he is still feeling very sad. It was the first time Branch could remember being unable to enjoy one of Poppy’s usual habit of petting him, and he knew he is going to miss everything he had spent with her, such as how she took such good care of him, how she fed him nicely and how she usually rubs his belly.

“I guess this was goodbye,” Branch said softly with a sigh, staring down at the ground. He wished to spend more time with Poppy, but she had other tasks to tend to because she’s the leader of Troll Village.

Poppy patted Branch’s forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back after a few minutes,” she said, kissing his cheek. “I love you so much, my sweet kitty.”

Branch turned away from her, refusing to see the look of her reassuring face. Deep down, he didn’t like how this is being planned.

                                             To Be Continued...

                                          Stay tuned for Part 25!

#dreamworks trolls #poppy and branch #poppy #branch #cat #cat branch #branch the cat #cat branch story #nine lives one fight #fanfiction #biggie #mr dinkles #smidge #cooper #guy diamond #king peppy

[saiilorstars]

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 9:  A Jokester’s Final Show 

/ Story Masterlist /

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing:  Rafael Barba x Original female character

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Josh Galloway's trial comes to an end, putting to rest all the arguments between the team...and with it comes sweet dinner and dessert!

Dr. Weslin gave Montserrat the moment of silence she typically needed each time she arrived to her office. This time, however, she noted that she was fiddling with her fingers. She seemed to be pulling at the skin near her nails. That was one of the first signs of anxiety she had dealt with early after her rape. With months of treatment, she'd been able to get a better control of it but it seemed like this case she was dealing with was reverting her back.

"Josh Galloway makes rape jokes for a living and people actually go for it. It's disgusting and the fact that he's hiding behind an amendment just shows how weak he is in reality," Montserrat was venting without interruptions. The more she spoke, the faster her fingers pulled at her skin. "He raped this girl and he doesn't even care. He's so sure that he's gonna get off scot-free meanwhile we're over here scrambling to give our ADA any ammo he can use." When she took in a deep breath, Dr. Weslin knew it was his time to make a response.

"And this case was one that you specifically pushed for?"

"Well yes, because there was a crime committed," she shrugged. "It's what I was supposed to do."

"But you mentioned that you had a bit of disagreement-"

Montserrat scoffed. "Try multiple disagreements. Since this has gone to trial, I've been in Rafael's face for quite a while and vice versa." It made her feel ridiculous and shameful about her unprofessionalism but every time they came back from court Rafael was on a streak of 'we're going to lose' and she couldn't take it. She knew Olivia was on the same page as her due to the fact many disagreements had been between the three in general.

"Montserrat, why are you specifically pushing for this case?" Weslin's question momentarily confused Montserrat, which led the doctor to reword it. "You've had several cases already and each of them have been conflicting as is normal so why is this case pushing you to have these disagreements with your co-worker? And this man, Josh Galloway, he seems to be pressing your buttons-"

"-he is, because he's a rapist and he's getting away with it," Montserrat looked down at her lap and shook her head. "He might get away with it like...he did."

"He did?" Dr. Weslin repeated and carefully watched Montserrat. She was aware of her fingers and her skin being pulled off.

Montserrat raised her fingers and examined them. "I...used to this before…" Weslin nodded but allowed her to continue without interruption. "Back when it was early...after my rape, I was so...out of place. I used to peel my own fingers' skin. I'm doing it again." A sad realization struck her face the moment she figured it out. "I'm doing it again and I don't even see it."

"You are now," Weslin gave her a second nod.

Montserrat tilted her head back and rubbed her forehead. "You know, I've been anxious ever since the trial started. Galloway is treating everything like a joke and he just...he reminds me of...him. My rapist." Even just mentioning him filled her with disgust. "He thought everything was a joke too, including what he did to me."

"Montserrat, you know there is nothing wrong with recusing yourself from this case. You have to testify?"

"No-"

"-then you don't even have to go to the trial if it still makes you uncomfortable."

"But then he wins," Montserrat gritted her teeth together. "He gets to control my life even after almost a whole year. I like my job, I do, and I don't want anything to get in the way of it."

She couldn't let that horrible act ruin the rest of her life. She had a good life at the moment, she loved where she lived and where she worked. She was beginning to get to know her co-workers and they were all turning out to be good people. That man didn't get to further ruin her life. Even if he was still somewhere out there, doing whatever the hell he wanted, he didn't get to have power over her.

No sir.

~ 0 ~

"Josh Galloway here, live-vlogging my persecution. Today, Carly - oh, I mean, my anonymous accuser - swore under oath she came to my hotel room suite, raided my mini bar, but did not want to make it with my joystick. I just sure wish the jury got to see her a few hours earlier…"

"I don't want to-" Carly was promptly shut down and forced to watch the remainder of the video in silence, though she knew despite the video playing the detectives' and ADA's eyes were on her and not on the screen.

Because on screen, she was pulling her shirt up for an entire crowd to see.

"Do you know what else ends with a 'y'? Perjuryyyyy."

Montserrat could not help herself. She slammed the laptop lid shut. She looked at the other detectives who were all wearing similar grim faces. Of course they were about to all go down due to this one video.

"I'm sorry-" Carly barely got to say before Rafael cut in in one of his usual cold tones.

"For what you said? Or for not telling us about it before?"

Carly looked down at her lap. "I didn't remember being recorded. I didn't do it on purpose."

"No one thinks that," Olivia spoke up for her. "But this will make it more difficult."

"How did this video even come up? I thought the detectives said they-"

"-vetted the club-goers?" now Rafael was glaring at each and every SVU detective in his office. "Those were the rumors."

"We did," Nick seemed to be the one - besides Montserrat - leveling his glare. They did their job just as mandated. "Someone must've taken the video and sent it to Josh."

"I'm sorry," Carly felt like it was the only thing she could say, but it didn't do much for her.

"You should be," Rafael circled her chair. "The jury will remember it when they acquit Josh." Carly looked mortified but it didn't phase him one bit.

"Why don't we get you home?" Olivia started helping the girl up and looked to Amanda and Fin. "Get her back home safely, alright?"

"But what's going to happen?" Carly looked for some answers as Amanda and Fin started walking her for the door.

"This doesn't change anything, we're still going to try our best, right?" Montserrat finished by specifically glancing at Rafael. He didn't even answer, instead only making a half shrug of an 'I don't know'.

"Could you at least look like you have faith in this?" Olivia started as soon as Carly was gone.

"Faith in what?" Rafael nearly shouted out of frustration. "That video cemented the ending of this trial. I already went for a mistrial attempt-"

"-you did what!?"

"Don't worry, it was denied."

"Is there anything else we can do to mend this error?" Sonny's attempt was as futile as Olivia's words of encouragement.

"You want to redeem the case? Good luck," Rafael sincerely wished them. "Calhoun just told me she's calling Olivia to the stand."

The Sergeant in question blinked in surprise. "What? Me?"

"So I suggest you watch what you say. Calhoun knows exactly what she wants from you on that stand," Rafael moved back towards his desk.

"That's it?" Montserrat helplessly looked between Olivia and Sonny. "Just 'watch yourself'?"

"We all knew where this was headed." Rafael's matter-of-fact tone irritated even more.

"So then we should have, I don't know, done more for this? Instead of sitting there-" Montserrat gestured at him, "-and taking the lose."

"No I specifically said this case was not going to make it," Rafael snapped and glared at Olivia for a moment, as if silently warning her the Detective was pushing his buttons again.

"It was the right thing to do," Olivia reminded him, but even then it wasn't enough to ease the tension.

"I never should have let you convince me to take this case-"

"-we decided that it was the right thing to do-"

"This was before I had all the facts!" Rafael shot up from his seat, finally aggravated enough to shout at all of them, including the two silent detectives who'd been turning their heads each time someone spoke up. "If your detectives had done their due diligence and found that video, I never would have brought this case to trial!"

"So this our fault now?" Montserrat moved for his desk which prompted Sonny (and consequently Nick) to rush and stop her. "I thought SVU was all about being a team but you're not! You're just taking an easy way out and blaming us because you can't come up with a strategy to get the trial back on track!"

"ENOUGH!" Rafael ordered and received. He was outright enraged with such a string of insults and Montserrat didn't even look regretful.

She upheld his look for a minute before turning and storming out. You're an idiot. You shouldn't have done that. What were you thinking-

"Montse?" she started hearing Sonny's call and turned around once she was in the hallway to see him and Nick coming out.

"I know that was awful-"

"-more or less," Nick shrugged.

Montserrat rubbed her forehead and tried calling herself down. "I'd go back there but I'm afraid I'll just pick up where I left off."

"Yeah, don't worry, I think Barba is pretty much in the same state," Sonny instead motioned if Montserrat wanted to start leaving. "I've never seen him go that type of red before-"

"-not helping," Montserrat took in a deep breath and hopes she would be able to hold herself together.

"I'm gonna go back…" Nick pointed to Rafael's office. "You okay?" he put a hand on Montserrat's shoulder. "We all have that type of case. And sometimes our temper gets in the way. I should know."

Montserrat didn't exactly know what he meant but she supposed he would elaborate at another time. "I think I should just go home."

Sonny turned her for the doors. Like he said, he brought her home. He did notice the 180 Montserrat did in the while it took him to drive to her place. Her rage was replaced with a guilt ridden expression. Her eyes were downcast the entire ride home, and even as they headed up the stairs of the apartment building.

When Montserrat unlocked the apartment door, she silently walked in and let her coat fall on the floor without care. She didn't really acknowledge the fact Kara was coming out of the kitchen.

"Montse, what are you doing-" Kara stopped and Montserrat went straight into the hallway. She flinched when Montserrat slammed her bedroom door shut. "What just happened?" she set her mug on the kitchen table and went to pick up Montserrat's coat off the floor.

Sonny picked it up before she got there and held it to her. "Tough case."

"Again? Can't you guys ever have something easy?" she took Montserrat's coat and draped it over a kitchen table chair.

"Unfortunately, no," Sonny stuffed his hands into his pants pockets. "She had a go with our ADA and let's just say she got him to scream."

Kara made a face. "I heard he's easy to irritate-"

"-so imagine when he meets a detective who puts his skills in question."

"Montse's not like that. This must be a case that's just getting to her. She wouldn't fight with a co-worker. I mean, she's told me how much she likes everyone at SVU," Kara felt like she needed to make sure that everyone knew Montserrat did indeed love her job. "Including that ADA. She likes Olivia's maternal side, um...that blonde detective-"

"-Amanda?"

"That one! Montserrat loves her accent - she thinks it's adorable." Kara chuckled with Sonny. "And then that tall one - he's Spanish I think?"

"Nick, yeah," Sonny gave her the nod. "Cuban."

"Right. Montserrat says he has a daughter and because he's a single Dad she just respects him a lot. Her parents haven't been together since she was five so believe me when I say she respects Nick for keeping a good interaction with his ex. And then Fin - I met him last week on a run - has all the jokes that make Montse laugh. And you…" Kara smiled, "Montse really likes you too. And your cooking."

Sonny's face went a bit red as he laughed. "You don't need to convince me of anything, Kara. We all know she likes her job, and we really like her too."

Kara nodded. "And that ADA, Montserrat likes him too. She says he's good at what he does. If she argued with him it was on the spur of the moment thing. She respects him too."

"Believe me, Kara, we know. Hopefully by tomorrow she'll be more calm," Sonny started backing up for the doors. "I gotta go though."

"Thank you for bringing her back," Kara followed him to the door. "Still keeping us safe, I see."

"My job," Sonny sheepishly smiled, referring back to the first time they met.

"I thank you for it," Kara leaned on the hinge of the door. "And I'm sure when Montse gets her shit together tomorrow, she'll thank you too."

Sonny nodded and gave her a wave before turning to leave. Kara slowly closed the door and turned towards the hallway. She headed for Montserrat's bedroom and gently knocked on the door.

"Montse? Montserrat, you wanna talk?" Kara didn't even bother with the doorknob since she was sure Montserrat had locked herself in. "Sonny said you had an argument with your ADA, what happened?"

Inside her room, Montserrat was sitting on the floor with her back to the bed's foot. She wasn't even listening to Kara's calls. It wasn't registering. All she could see and hear was that terrible day that changed her life.

He doesn't get to win. He doesn't get to do this to me. She closed her eyes and tilted her head against the bed. She had to believe in that or else she would never get to live.

~0~

The next day when Montserrat returned to SVU, she found most of her co-workers had yet to come in. With a sigh, she dropped her things on her desk and went to sit down. Not a minute later did she hear someone clearing their throat.

"Renée?" Montserrat noticed the young woman was looking oddly uncomfortable. Throughout the trial, Renée had been a close supporter of Carly Rydell - even if the two women didn't really like each other - so of course Renée made her appearance to the courtroom for each trial date.

"There's something you should see," Renée pulled out a USB from her bag and held it out to Montserrat.

Slowly, Montserrat took the USB and plugged it into her laptop. There was a video in it and when she opened it up, she came to see a video of Josh Galloway attempting to rape Renée. Montserrat brought a hand to her mouth and stopped the video.

"Renée…"

"Before you say anything I did this out of my own accord!" the girl pulled a chair beside Montserrat's desk. "If the other girls couldn't Josh raped couldn't come forwards then I had to. No one told me to do it. I thought about it myself." Montserrat pulled the USB from her laptop and handed it back to Renée. Renée seemed disappointed until she saw Montserrat getting up. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know, but we need to get this to our ADA now," Montserrat nodded for the exit and of course Renée rushed to follow.

On the way to the DA's building, Montserrat notified Olivia in a text what was happening. Hopefully, it would start paving the way for a redemption from Montserrat's part.

Though it was early, Rafael was already in his office. The moment he saw Montserrat he laughed quietly, assuming she was back to continue in her crazy argument. "Should I even bother saying good morning detective?"

"I'm on business," Montserrat led Renée in, though she heard his snarky 'that'd be a first' along the way. She let it go and just stuck to the reason she came in. "Renée did something...more or less good but I don't know exactly how good."

Rafael settled a look on the nervous woman. "What did you do?"

Renée took out her USB and held it out for him. Rafael looked past her towards Montserrat, questioning the USB but the Detective nodded him to go on and take it. Like she did earlier, he stuck the USB on a laptop and found Renée's video.

Renée shifted in her seat until after he finished watching. "Like I told Detective Novak, nobody told me to do this. In fact, Sergeant Benson warned me not to try anything."

"And you should have listened," Rafael cut her off. "This was dangerous, Renée."

"I had to do something," Renée argued without hesitation. "He cannot go free without paying for what he did."

"Renée, wait outside and then I'll take you home," Montserrat motioned the girl to start getting up.

"Please don't let him get away with it," Renée pleaded as she got on her feet. "Use that video, please!"

Montserrat turned to Rafael once Renée was gone. "Can we use that?"

Rafael closed the laptop down and considered the options. "Maybe, but the judge will never let us use this. Are you sure no one told her to do this?"

"Listen, you can be mad all you want but I would never put a civilian's life at risk like this," Montserrat pressed her finger over his laptop. "This video may not be useful for this case but maybe it doesn't have to be used for this case." Her suggestive smile did offer another option Rafael would be willing to take. It was easy, and best of all it guaranteed a win.

~0~

"There was a camera in her eyeglasses?" Rita Calhoun was practically offended the NYPD would sink so low at breaking obvious rules just to take out her client. She pushed shut the laptop that had the disgusting video of her client and Renée. "The NYPD give her that?"

Rafael looked up to where Olivia stood. The Sergeant had made it clear she wanted to be there when he showed Josh and Calhoun the video.

"She bought them herself," Rafael answered but Olivia added on.

"At Best Buy."

"I'm sure she did. This won't be admissible regardless," Calhoun's statement gave Josh an irritated smugness. "My client was set up while still on trial. This is NYPD entrapment."

"Renee did this on her own," Rafael met them with his own smug smile. "Neither NYPD nor I had any knowledge. And I'm not looking to use it at this trial." Calhoun barely had time to be confused when Rafael explained better. "I'll be bringing a new case with separate but equal charges. Attempted rape, sexual assault."

"Whoa, whoa, what is this?" Josh frowned. "First it was a vendetta and now it's a shakedown?"

"Josh, stop-"

"Rita-"

"Stop!" Calhoun snapped, finally succeeding in making Josh go silent. "I'm sure Mr. Barba and I can work something out."

The smirk on Rafael's promised she would get a deal alright.

~0~

"Girl got guts to go out there and get that video," Fin said decently quiet since Olivia and Rafael had Carly Rydell in Olivia's office.

"Renee could have gotten herself seriously hurt, though," Amanda reminded them all that while this was a good ending there were still some unaccounted risks that hadn't been necessary.

"At least we know Galloway is getting some punishment," Nick looked at the office door that was opening.

"And it seems like we're about to know just what he got," Sonny rubbed his hands together, making his co-workers chuckle.

Carly seemed pretty satisfied as she walked out, leading the detectives to believe the deal must have been good.

"How much time is he getting?" Montserrat didn't beat around the bush. Everyone around was curious to know the lucky number of jail time anyways.

"None," Rafael's answer was initially met with a degree of incredulity before he added on, "He'll be going on the registry for ten years."

"And the video never sees the light of day," Olivia added, looking not too pleased as well.

"What - that's it?" Amanda gawked. "So he is above the law?"

"He pled guilty and he's on the registry. Fatty Arbuckle was found innocent. Barely ever worked again," Rafael reminded them. "The court of public opinion, once it turns on you…"

"So it was the right thing to do," Montserrat smirked.

"Detective, I won't even bother answering that," Rafael stepped towards her desk. She got up from her chair with the actual intention of apologizing, but he didn't give her the chance. "I know you're still new but the next time you go off on me the way you did, I'll report you for unprofessional conduct. I'm sure that'll be take into consideration at the end of your probationary period. Do you understand?"

Montserrat's eyebrows raised together. The others prepared themselves for another argument - and perhaps a louder one too - but all Montserrat did was slightly smile and give a small nod.

Rafael briefly looked at the small audience they'd collected and went on his way. Montserrat turned to watch him leave and suddenly chuckled after he disappeared in the hallway. "He'll get over it," she waved him off and smiled at the rest.

"You okay?" Olivia asked while Montserrat went to take a seat again. "That was harsh and even if he does end up reporting anything, I can vouch that you were still new to the job."

Montserrat didn't seem at all perturbed with the threat. "In six months when 1PP reviews my job progress, I'm sure I'll have pissed him off countless times that he won't bother to do the paperwork for each incident."

"Alright…" it was clear that Olivia didn't know what to say about Montserrat's way of thinking, but at least she seemed to be doing better than yesterday.

"Montse?" Sonny quietly called when everyone started returning to their daily tasks. "Are you sure you're okay? Barba was intense-"

"Yes," she chuckled. "Plus, he'll get over it. I may or may not have left a little something in his office." Sonny's questionable look just made her laugh again. "Listen, Kara's been bugging me to ask you where you bought those cannolis that you gave me on my first day. She really loved them."

That made Sonny change his focus onto his favorite dessert, as well as the cute, friendly roommate.

~ 0 ~

On his way into his office, Rafael bid goodbye to his assistant for the day. He walked in, dreary of the remaining work he had left, but slowly came to a stop when he spotted a white plastic bag sitting on his desk. He looked around but of course no one but him was there. It was too late to go catch Carmen and ask her who brought it around.

He put his things down on a chair and peered inside the bag. The moment he did was he greeted with smell of food - dinner by the looks of it. There was a yellow paper taped to the top of the white box inside. He pulled it off and took it out of the bag to read the note on it. After he did, his mouth opened in a gape.

~ 0 ~

"No way, they make these with peanut butter too!?" Kara practically yelped when Sonny read off the different flavors of the dozen cannolis he and Montserrat brought to the apartment.

"Apparently they do," Montserrat eyed the specific pastry with hesitation while Kara picked it up from the box.

Kara's moan after taking a bite of the peanut butter cannoli made both Montserrat and Sonny laugh. "What? It's good!" Kara reached for a napkin on the coffee table.

"Glad you like them," Sonny closed the lid of the box (after offering Montserrat one) and set it on the table.

"Mm, I do. But you didn't have to pay for them," Kara shot Montserrat a mock glare. "I specifically sent Montse go pick some up with the promise I'd pay her back."

"He offered," Montserrat argued through her chews. She admitted the chocolate cannoli was her favorite, though perhaps it had to do with the fact she loved brownies. "I'm innocent in this."

"It was my pleasure," Sonny assured them both before they got into a disagreement.

"Still, it seems like a lot…" Kara sheepishly said.

Montserrat rolled her eyes when Sonny gave the same expression. Oh brother. "Thank God," she mumbled when she heard her cell phone ring inside her bag. "Don't mind me…" she said but doubted either of them were listening. They seemed to like smiling at each other.

Sonny and Kara were forgotten the moment she saw who was calling.

"Hello?" she got up from the couch chair and walked a small distance from the living room.

"Montserrat Novak, just what do you think you're doing?" Rafael promptly demanded from the other line.

Montserrat imagined him in his office, confused out of his mind with her gift.

True to her image, Rafael was holding the note she'd left and couldn't stop rereading it. "I swear to God if you're laughing-"

"-I'm not," Montserrat was biting her lip to keep herself from laughing. "I just wanted to apologize in my own way. One of Kara's customers owns the restaurant so they did me the favor." She glanced back at Kara to see if the roommate had heard anything. Thankfully not. "You don't like it?" her soft tone made it difficult for Rafael to accuse her of something else.

Rafael looked at her note then back at the meal on his desk.

It was my turn to pay. Hope you like French food!

- Montse

"It's just...it's a lot, Novak," he admitted it did make him just a little uncomfortable accepting her 'gift' and it wasn't because of his ego. He actually didn't understand the exact feeling he was getting.

"C'mon, Rafael. My name is Montserrat. We're not working so you don't have to keep calling me by my last name," she chuckled. "And I just sent that as part of my apology. I was a particular pain in the ass for this case and I went off on you. You have every right to report me."

Remembering his threat put Rafael in shame. He'd been set on making her remember where she stood and he'd probably said what he shouldn't have. She was, after all, still new to SVU and still learning. "I wasn't actually going to report you, Nov -- Montserrat. I just wanted you to have a reason not to argue with me again."

"Yeah, that I can't promise," Montserrat bit her lip again when a laugh threatened to slip through. "I always argue, and it seems like you're my candidate to be on the receiving end."

"Lucky me," Rafael hummed.

"You make it too easy by getting annoyed with the simplest of things."

"Excuse you, you insulted my abilities on a job I've been doing for more than ten years-"

"-and I'm sorry," Montserrat apologized slowly. "I said what I said because…" she sighed and only gave a brief explanation that would hopefully cover it. "This case just...it hit home. And I shouldn't have let it, but it did, and I said things and acted in a way I hope I never do again."

Her choice of words had confused Rafael for a moment. "It-it what? What does-"

"-don't ask questions, please," she'd gone to a whisper, furthering his suspicions. Once again she glanced back at her friends hoping they hadn't heard. "You just gotta know that I think you're a talented prosecutor. I still remember the belt."

That soon brought a smile to Rafael's face. He chuckled, actually. "Let it go, Novak."

"Not in this lifetime," she promised. "You basically asked a man to choke you with a belt on your first SVU case and you want me to let that go? Absolutely not." She smiled when he laughed, hoping it meant things would be better from here on out. "So...are we good?"

Rafael put her note down on his desk. Despite his efforts he ended up smiling. "Yes, Montserrat. Of course we are."

"Great," Montserrat beamed, perhaps more than she should have. "Enjoy your dinner. The chocolate mousse was really good by the way, but then again I really love brownies so it might stem from the fact it was just chocolate."

"There's dessert too - Montserrat!" Rafael had peered over the bag again and caught sight of a second box underneath.

"It's fine, Rafael, don't worry," she chuckled while he sighed in resignation. It's not like he could return it anyways.

"Next time it's my turn," he said without much thought and suddenly Montserrat was glad this was a phone call and not in person because her face had gone a little red.

"Whatever you want," Montserrat shrugged, making him pause in his endeavor to pull out one box of food.

He realized the context of his words and internally scolded himself for it...but maybe he wasn't so sorry about it in reality.

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