#She never learns from her mistakes. She makes life harder for all of us in the server. Even before the server she made one friend mad all

[anki-of-beleriand]

Bad Liar ch. 17

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers - Mentions of Natasha/Maria being married

Warnings: Slow burn - Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - violence - mentios of abused and sexual assault - idiots in love - violence - suggestive themes - drama - angst - fluff - top!reader - dom!reader - bottom!Wanda - switch!Wanda

Author's note: Life is settling down after what happened, America is growing up and ready to face the consequences of what happened. Wanda is letting go of the past while Reader is just being her showing Wanda happiness and love it is possible.

So sorry for the late posting, guys. Life was a little harder this week that what I was used to, and something happened that really got me anxious and a little bit...I mean, I was not in a good place, but hopefully everything is better now and here is the new chapter! Just one chapter to go and this story would be over. I hope you like it because I made it with my heart!

Please rmemeber English is not my mother tongue so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes, hope you like this one.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 17

The promise of the future

You never thought that going back home would be so difficult for you or even America. The place had been tied up and changed after the incident, with different furniture and painting you had allowed America free reign on her imagination to make the necessary changes into the living room.

The world had not stopped turning around, the news was still rolling on the TV and people were enjoying the weekend of the new year. You stood by your sister's side with a hand on her shoulder, America tensed lowering her gaze furrowing her brows before turning to you.

“What do you want to do?” Her question came with a trembling voice, she sighed, shaking her head while looking away from you.

You turned to look at Wanda's place then back at yours.

“I was thinking about vacations.” You hugged America, winking at her, “we could ask Tony about the cottage he had in Italy.”

America offered a shaky smile, “Italy?”

“Yeah, we could get away from this place for a while and then…get a new house.”

America chuckled, stepping away from you. You waited, ever since the both of you left the hospital America had tried to evade the topic of what had happened while she was under the claws of Agatha and Vision. The young woman scratched the back of her neck, with her eyes sweeping around the front yard. Her teeth playing with her lower lip, her feet taking slow steps towards the front door only to stop midway before turning to you.

“You don’t have to.” She finally said frowning, “it was difficult but not the end of the world, I…Hope offered her help, and I acceded to see a friend of hers that could be of help.”

You nodded curtly taking a few steps closer to her, “you know that even though we grew here we are allowed to leave, right?”

America snorted hugging you tightly, she knew it. She knew you would do everything in your power to make sure she was comfortable and that whatever traumatic event she had gone through could be healed and forgotten. Selling the house and even offering a vacation was your way to make things easier for her, but America had already talked this through with Christine and Hope. She had been scared, but more than that, she had felt powerless to help Kate, to help the twins and even to help Wanda.

“I know that, and perhaps in the future when I go to college you can think about it.” She replied shrugging, “I know you’re dying to get that Villa near Tony’s place, because you had always wanted a huge house with a pool and a bigger playroom.”

Your eyes glistened over with your lips curling into a content smile at the mental image these words evoke in you. America rolled her eyes, but she too could imagine the same; it was something she wouldn’t say no to when the both of you were ready, not because a bad experience marked their lives and they were doing it because of that. She had felt powerless to help the people she loved, but America would be damned if she allowed that man and that freaking woman to govern her decisions from now on.

“I want you to be comfortable, and happy.”

“I know, Y/N, and I am.” America nodded towards the house before pointing a finger at you, “come we need to get everything ready before we pick Wanda and the twins up.”

You watched as your sister went inside the house with the same determination she did everything else. Hope had already told you of the conversation the both of them held while you were unconscious, America had been angered by the whole situation and it took her a while to understand that there was no one else to blame but Vision and Agatha.

Kate had been the one to convince America to go to therapy for a while, just to perhaps let go of the growing fear and darkness the situation itself had created in both of them. You were thankful that America had always surrounded of good friends, and that you had always had someone by your side as well. Everyone seemed understanding, and while the situation was still fresh in your minds, you knew you would be okay.

“Come on, slowpoke!!” America screamed from inside the house, you rolled your eyes and followed her thinking about what would happen once Wanda was out of the hospital.

_____________________________

Wanda glanced at her reflection with a critical eye.

She scowled openly to the bruises around her neck and face, the paleness of her skin and the tiredness behind her eyes. She had spent the first weekend of the year in the hospital, waiting for the doctors to clear her up and sent her home while you and America took care of the twins while coming every day to visit her.

It had been hard.

While you had offered her the best end of the year and had been keeping your word of being by her side. Wanda couldn’t help the nightmares at night, when she was alone with her thoughts and the shadows of the past trying to crawl back inside her heart and mind. She placed a hand on her chest, holding tightly the sudden oppression threatening to cut of the air from her lungs. She clenched her jaw refusing the tears in her eyes, or the thoughts of fear that had creeped out once more. She had tried to hold onto what Hope had been teaching her in the therapy sessions, while also holding onto the bright side of her life.

Billy. Tommy. You. America and her students.

Wanda let out a shaky sigh before turning around and leaving the bathroom, you straightened up offering a half smile while holding up the bag with Wanda’s clothes.

“I put everything away, ready to do laundry duty as soon as we get home.” You walked towards her giving her a once over wiggling your brows, “you look nice.”

Wanda rolled her eyes, her lips curling slightly.

“You’re such a sweet talker,” she leaned in kissing your cheek, “it will get you everywhere.”

You blushed with your mouth hanging opened at the cheeky wink Wanda sent your way stepping out of the room, you snorted running to catch up to her.

The ride home was filled with music; Wanda kept her eyes out of the window watching the world pass rapidly through the window while you drove down the highway before taking the long way home. You caught the small smile adorning Wanda’s lips when you made the right turn, she sighed leaning back against the seat letting her eyes drink into the trees and the forest surrounding the road while watching the blue sky right above her head.

Wanda knew she needed to get home, Billy and Tommy were waiting for her. And life had to keep going, but something inside her stirred with fear and memory. She tried to keep away the words Vision had said to her, the feeling of his breath and hand on her, everything that the man had imprinted on her. Wanda clenched her eyes closed trying to erase those memories while replacing them with the beautiful sight in front of her, and the songs playing on the radio.

You creased your brows noticing the sudden change in Wanda, your eyes glanced at the road lighting up when you caught side of the road sign you usually dismissed when driving down that highway. You looked through the mirror before turning left, Wanda frowned turning to you slightly confused.

“Where are we going?” She asked softly, you smiled at her driving just a little faster until there was only one single road taking you deeper into a forestry area.

“You will see.”

Wanda opened her mouth to reply, her heart almost leaving her chest when she realised you made a turn she was not familiar with. For a brief moment she thought how foolish she had been. As long as she was with you everything would be fine, but the memories were not so easy to dismiss and she decided that at the moment she needed the comfort your warm stare usually brought to her.

The driving didn’t take far too long, soon you were turning left then right and then another right until you drove into an open space leading to a great cliff. Wanda opened her eyes glancing at the open sky with growing clouds approaching the city, she leaned forward until she saw the sight of the big city down into the valley. You stopped the car turning off the engine while resting comfortably on the seat, your lips drawing a small smile.

“Is this the place you used to bring your girlfriends?” Wanda asked at your side, you couldn’t help but laugh shaking your head.

“No, I never brought anyone here.” You confessed shrugging, “this was my little secret, I used to come here to think from time to time. Just me, it was comforting. I thought you may appreciate it.”

There was something stirring with deep affection in Wanda’s heart, the young woman snuggled on the car seat this time around turning completely so she could face you while still have her eyes take into the amazing view spreading before them.

“I don't know how to continue,” she all but whispered to you, her eyes glistening with the deepest of her emotions flickering in her green eyes, “I keep on thinking of my mistakes, the secrets I kept…I should have told you the dangers he posed to me and you.”

Silence filled the car, your eyes never leaving the sky above your heads. You pressed your lips together, your hands resting on the wheel, playing a soft tapping with your mind working on what to say. Wanda closed her eyes, looking away from you the afternoon falling slowly with the tension building up around the both of you.

“One day at a time, Wands, there is nothing much we can do.” You shrugged, lowering your head, still looking everywhere but at Wanda, “I didn't expect you to tell me everything right away, but I suspected as much. This was not your fault, Wanda. And this doesn't mean I love you any less.”

The word love rolled out of your tongue with such an easiness, Wanda couldn’t help but gasp with her eyes opening wide and her lower lip trembling slightly. You snorted shaking your head while leaning in your face just a few centimetres away from hers.

“You’re not used to hearing such words, are you?”

“No.”

Wanda leaned closer, her eyes fluttering close for a moment before she allowed your eyes to lock with hers. You lifted a tentative hand to cup her face, tenderness was quite evident in your features and Wanda allowed the warmth of your body to bring a soothing calmness she was not familiar with.

“I love you, Wanda.” You whispered only for her to engrave those words in her heart, “perhaps it is too soon, but for some reason, I just love you. I feel in love with you, and I don’t think there is nothing I can do against my feelings for you but make sure you feel loved, the way you deserved to be loved.”

Wanda swallowed down her words and tears, she offered a tentative smile before closing the gap between the both of you her lips dancing shyly with yours. Her heart beating fast, almost escaping her ribcage while she melted under your hands; you didn’t need to say anything else for her to know you certainly did love her. And she knew soon she would be ready to say those same words to you.

“It will take time, but you will heal.” You winked at her, your fingertips brushing against her cheek and jawline until your brows creased finding the marks on her neck.

“Some marks take time to…fade away.” Wanda mumbled slightly mortified by her wounds, she tried to lean back and hide away from you until her breath caught on her throat with her eyes growing big and her body tensing completely.

She felt the contact of your forehead against hers, the gesture was comforting and it made her experience an emotion she was not completely familiar with. Wanda’s heart fluttered affectionately surrendering to your gaze. She opened her lips ready to speak, but her words got tangled in her throat leaving her unable to express what she really wanted. What she really felt.

It didn't matter, though.

You were still there offering the same reassuring smile, and the same comforting touch. Wanda had to wonder how you did it, how was it possible for you to offer so much without asking for anything in exchange.

“We never got to have the date I planned.” Wanda said all of a sudden, you leaned back with amusement gleaming in your eyes.

“That's right,” you cocked your head wiggling your eyebrows, “and I got curious about it, what did you have planned?”

Wanda dipped her head with her lips curling into a tender smile, she straightened up on the seat glancing outside the window. 

“It's a secret, I guess I just have to plan it all over again so we can go.” Wanda sighed, still looking away from you. “Of course, if you want to…I mean, if you still want to go out. With me.”

The last part was said in a broken whisper, Wanda shifted on the seat creasing her brows while making sure her eyes were glancing at the city. The light of the day was soon fading away, and the city was starting to light up the artificial lights. 

“I would love nothing more than to go out with you, Wanda.” You replied with a tender smile on your lips, Wanda shivered trying to smile at you but failing.

The old insecurities were still there and you knew the work Wanda had done in the last couple of months had been shaken but the recent events. You could see her self-doubt, her uncertainty and the lost stare she gained after leaving the hospital. The bruises were pretty much visible at the moment, the pain was still pulsating through her body and Wanda was just trying to hold onto her sanity and her own determination to not fall into desperation. 

You lifted a hand slowly, your eyes seeking out those green eyes of Wanda. After a moment of hesitation, Wanda finally lifted her face looking at you expectantly. Her eyes flickered to your hand, then to your face.

“I was thinking…” Wanda winced, her throat sore and dried bringing discomfort to her voice.

You let your arm lifted for a moment before dropping it to the side to grab the bottle of water you brought early in the day.

“Thank you.” She mumbled almost dropping the bottle of water when you tenderly brush the spot on her neck. 

Her breath caught on her throat, trembling lightly with a mixture of emotions tingling through her body. Her face heated up, following with your eyes the movements of your arms and your own expression while mapping out the dark bruises on her neck. 

“Y/N…” your name left her lips tenderly, with some uncertainty that called your attention.

You frowned, stopping any movement from your hand, your eyes flickering from the bruises to her face.

“I'm sorry, did it bother you? I just…”

“No, no it's just…”

You broke into an easy smile that Wanda returned without losing her blush. She bit her lower lip, without any doubt behind her gestures she grabbed your hand placing it on the left side of her neck. 

“You surprised me, that's all.” Wanda sighed looking away for a moment before continuing. “I'm not used to such tenderness.”

You tensed lightly, your eyes flashing with anger before they softened lightly. Wanda offered a crooked smile, this time around she let go of your hand embracing herself.

“With you, everything is…different and sometimes I just can't believe this is happening.”

“May I try something out?” You asked suddenly, Wanda narrowed her eyes at the sudden flush showing on our face. Your fingertips trembled, with your lips pressed together while your eyes travelled from her face to her neck then back again.

“What are you going to do?” Wanda couldn't help the tone of wariness and curiosity; she tilted her head and your eyes gleamed strangely falling on her neck.

“Just something to show you how you should be treated, how you should be cherished.”

It was the husky tone behind your words what made Wanda tremble, she swallowed down her trepidation with a tingling void taking home in her abdomen. 

You waited patiently, your fingertips never leaving the soft skin of Wanda's neck. For a moment, Wanda just thought of her possibilities, of what exactly you were planning. Then her eyes went to your own bruises, to the wound on your hand and arm and she softened lightly. If there was anyone she trusted more than herself, that was you.

“Okay, you…you can try it, would I…I mean, is it dangerous?” 

You snickered, shaking your head, this time around there was a glint of mischief in your eyes. Wanda felt her stomach do a flip, and soon she let out a gasp while her hands clenched into a fist with her eyes fluttering close to the sensations you were creating with your mouth.

She never imagined you would lean in to place your lips on her pulse point, nor that you would start leaving open-mouthed kisses that went to draw the marks left on her neck. Wanda was not sure what to do with her hands, her body went rigid but her lower stomach and her heart were tingling over with an emotion she was not familiar with. 

You let your lips mapped out her skin, brushing lightly while letting your free hand cup her face tenderly. You wished to let Wanda know she was loved that not all touches directed at her were meant to harm or to mark, that she deserved the tenderness you were trying to show. 

You didn’t know what got into you, the only thing you knew for certain was that Wanda needed love, she needed to understand how wonderful she was. How she deserved happiness, and that no number of wounds or injuries from her past should get in the way of her new life. And thus, without any thoughts in your mind you leaned in to kiss away her neck your lips dancing tentatively on the bruised skin.

Wanda trembled under your touch, she let her hands wrapped around your arms her lips parting slightly while her body ignited with a fire she was no familiar with. Just as you started you finished it, leaning back with your heart hammering against your chest, your cheeks flustered and a timid smile adorning your lips.

Wanda was not in a better state, she was trembling with her face completely red and her breathing erratic. She could not hide her lust, nor the complete affection those green eyes shot at you as soon as she opened them.

You opened your mouth to speak, but whatever you were going to say was cut short by Wanda kissing you harshly. You welcomed her in your arms, allowing the passion she was trying to contain while kissing her back with the same need she was showing.

The afternoon finally gave way to the night, and while you allowed Wanda the control of the kiss you could feel her tears wetting your face. Until she could not continue and allowed herself the relief of your arms, unable to say what she had been trying to tell you for a very long time.

I love you.

______________

Wanda held onto the blanket, her eyes dancing around her room while the silver light of the moon sneaked into the room. 

The nightmare was still fresh in her mind, the shadows of the past haunting her in her sleep. Wanda let out a sigh putting the blankets away before sitting up, she was no longer tired and sleep was not an option, her eyes fell on her mobile showing the hour.

4 a.m.

The silence of the early hours of the day was deafening to her ears, Wanda turned around and decided a trip to the kitchen was a good idea. She put on some sweatpants, a hoodie and left her room with the memory of her nightmare dancing around in her mind.

The morning came with light snowing, the new year had come and gone bringing with it a world of possibilities Wanda never thought possible before. She grabbed the mug tightly around her hands, her eyes watching the snowflakes fall on her backyard. 

Wanda blew some steam out of her mug, her mind soon bringing over the memories of the day before. Your words, your smile, your touches; last day she had experienced a deep affection and protectiveness she had never felt before. The passion you had ignited in her with your kisses and your tenderness had made her soul tremble with want, but she had not dared to move forward and confessed what you had done so freely.

I love you. I'm in love with you.

Wanda couldn't help the smile breaking at the memory, without a single doubt she felt the veracity of those words whenever she was close to you. Whenever you went with her, or helped her children, or you simply were yourself. 

The young woman wished she could say it back to you, that she wasn't so afraid to be open and confessed the love she was feeling for you. Wanda wished things were easier, but she was still afraid. She had failed not only once, but twice and now that she was freed of her past, she was afraid of messing up a third time.

“You couldn't sleep either?” America crossed her arms putting the heavy coat closer to her body, she glanced at Wanda from her yard not really sure if her presence would be welcomed by the older woman.

Wanda glanced at America with eyes wide open, she tilted her head shrugging lightly.

“Not really.” Wanda all but replied with an effort, she hesitated for a moment before adding, “I have a nightmare.”

America made a face nodding, “yeah, me too.”

Wanda could see the indecision in America's face, she lifted her mug before patting the spot beside her. America tilted her head and for that moment Wanda could see the same gesture you did when you were weighing your options. The young woman turned to her house before stepping closer and moving past the side door to Wanda's yard. 

The snow kept on falling, America sat down furrowing her brows while watching at the sky. She could feel the eyes of Wanda on her, and the memory of her harsh words resounded in her mind. Before going to you, America had made sure to share her thoughts with the redhead, she made sure to let Wanda know America was not happy with what had happened. 

“I'm sorry.” America finally said huffing while turning to the shocked woman. 

America shifted on the spot furrowing her brows.

“Back in the hospital I just…I was stressed out, and finding out about this man and my sister, I was…”

“I know, I understand.” Wanda replied, placing a tentative hand on top of America's one. “You don't have to apologise.”

America shook her head frowning deeply, “but I do! Look I was unfair, when I was trapped in my house and then when I got to the hospital, I was partially blaming you for everything.”

Wanda winced ready to speak but America was firm on her explanation. She put her hand on top of Wanda's making sure to be as open as she could with her expressions.

“Y/N is the only family I have left, and I love her dearly. She has sacrificed so much for me, I just couldn't bear the thought of her suffering or losing her in any way.” America huffed, shaking her head with her eyes taking in the visible wounds on the woman before her.

“I never thought how much you and Billy and Tommy suffered all this time.” America confessed; Wanda tensed not wanting to interrupt America in the middle of her rant. “And after I got to see him, and everything I heard afterwards. I was not fair to you, I'm sorry I screamed at you and…that I was mad for something you couldn't control.”

Wanda shook her head offering a tiny smile to the young woman sitting beside her.

“There is nothing to be sorry for, America, I understand why you did it and I never hold it against you.” Wanda huffed, turning to see the snow fall, “I'm also sorry you and Kate had to live that, I wish things had been different. That he…”

America nodded curtly, and Wanda just shrugged.

“I guess right now he is where he must be, and he won't be hurting me or my children or even you and your sister anytime soon.” Wanda took a long sip from her tea, she glanced at the clear beverage before offering some to America.

The young woman grabbed the mug in her hands, she placed her elbows on her knees shivering lightly while glancing at the frozen ground.

“You really make my sister happy; you know?” She whispered pursing her lips a little.

“She makes me happy, and sometimes I just think I don’t deserve it.” Wanda cleared her throat wincing lightly when the old pain came bothering her again, “I never got to take her out, you know?”

“I know, I bet she would have loved the date you planned out for her.”

“You think so?” Wanda inquired with a hint of doubt in her voice, America nodded enthusiastically her lips curling lightly.

“You guys should really try it this time around, I mean now that everything is back to…” America was about to say normal, but the truth was nothing was normal anymore. Things were different, but they didn’t feel normal.

Wanda leaned back with hint of determination gleaming in her green eyes, she smiled lightly nodding to herself.

“Then, you should help me out.” Wanda turned to America who had her brows raised and eyes slightly opened. “I mean, I will have to plan it all over again, but this time around I want it to be perfect for her, I want to…”

Wanda didn’t finish her thought, but for America there was no need to. America could see the affection there as well as the will to offer you a perfect date. Silence fell between the both of them, no more words were needed it and America could see how little by little her family had grown in such a small amount of time.

She wished upon the falling snow for everything to finally fall into place and happiness to be possible again.

This time around, she also wished for Wanda, Tommy and Billy to be part of that happiness and to allow you and her to be part of that family.

_______________________________

Time passed slowly with the recovery of the wounds and the unstoppable meetings with Hope.

Wanda realized the nightmares were back, and she had to face the ghost of her past and her present while finally speaking about what had happened during those hours in which Vision had come back to her life. Hope was always patient, telling the young woman that the progressed she had made was still there but that the current fear and uncertainty she was feeling was just natural and in a matter of time she would let go and move on.

Wanda wished it was easier, and faster.

As of late being closer to you had been easier yet allowing you a single touch was difficult to experience. A part of her, the one that sound eery familiar, told her she didn’t deserve your affection much less the tenderness behind your touch. Wanda was afraid that her insecurities would finally push you away and she would be like at the beginning, alone.

“You have to be patience as well, Wanda,” Hope tilted her head smiling softly at her, “Y/N would never get tired of showing you her affection, and she knows and understands what you and your children are going through. You have told me of the conversations you both held regarding this situation.”

“Yes, but I just…” Wanda passed a hand through her hair, she turned to the window watching as the cold sun of winter sneaked through the clouds, “I’m just afraid she will get tired eventually, that I won’t be able to change this.”

Here she pointed to her chest, clenching her fist while growling lowly. Hope observed the young woman for a very long time, this was not a new discussion and in the last two weeks had been the main topic around their sessions.

“How is going with the planning of the date? Have you gotten what you need?” Hope asked trying to divert the topic to something that would ignite the flames of hopefulness in Wanda.

Wanda stopped her frustration giving way to a tender smile, her eyes softened nodding lightly.

“Yes, actually this time around I got America and her friends helping me out with the planning,” Wanda chuckled taking a seat, “they really are good teens, and I just need to pay the last part and I will be able to finally get her to the date I promise.”

“She will love it, you know that, right?”

“You think so?” Wanda pursed her lips resting her chin on her hand, “America told me she really loved this, and I just…God, she had been so good to me and my children, and I just…”

Hope waited for Wanda to continue but the other woman merely trailed off shrugging. Wanda wanted to be perfect for you, she wanted to make sure that what she was doing for you was enough to let you see how much she loved you. Wanda wanted to make sure that she was the right person for you, that in this new adventure she was enough.

“You are enough.” Hope commented offhandedly, ignoring the stare coming from Wanda, “but you need to start believing it yourself and giving yourself the chance to experience this.”

“I know.” She mumbled letting her hand rubbed her neck, “I’m really trying, you know? I don’t want this to consume the time I could spend with my children, with Y/N and with my new friends.”

Hope shrugged offering a comforting smile, “we have seen your efforts, Wanda. Don’t sell yourself short because this is not moving at the speed you want it, be patient and persistent. That’s the secret.”

Wanda sighed breaking into an easy smile when her eyes fell on her mobile and a new message appeared on the screen. Hope chuckled recognizing the name, and her eyes went to the clock on the wall. Right on time.

“I guess this is it for today, isn’t it?” Hope said chuckling when Wanda nodded putting the mobile away.

“I don’t know how to thank you for your help.” Wanda stood up waiting until Hope got to her to wrap her into a comforting hug.

“Nonsense. At the end of the day, Wanda, you are my friend as well and the important thing is for you to be and to feel safe.” Hope winked at her nodding to the door. “Now go, I bet they are waiting for you.”

Wanda nodded turning around and leaving the practice. Hope shook her head making her way towards the window where she could see you were standing right on the sidewalk with Tommy and Billy by your side grinning widely holding some posters on their hands. Wanda put a hand on her mouth, laughing before hugging her children while leaning into your embrace as well. Hope smiled tenderly watching the scene with fondness, you really were pretty much in love with the woman and your every action was to ensure her happiness.

Time was all you and her needed. Of that, Hope was completely sure.

The cold of winter came crashing against Wanda, but whatever coldness she was experimenting was soon forgotten when the warm of your hug and the arms of her children engulfed her completely.  She couldn’t help but smile when you planted a single kiss on her lips, and her children snickered calling out to her with posters in their hands.

“What are you guys doing here?” Wanda took the first poster that Billy had made, it was a drawing of their home decorated with many toys and colours representing her, Tommy, America and even Y/N.

“Y/N thought you missed us, and we decided to come and invite you to some snacks.” Tommy said also presenting Wanda with his own drawing. “And, she said you need support.”

“And thus, they did this for you.” You continued grinning, “this is mine, but of course not as good as theirs.”

In your you had written a single declaration of beauty and love in Sokovian, Wanda softened at the words and the drawings not being able to take her smile off of her face. She breathed softly when your lips found hers, her laughter breaking the moment when she heard Tommy and Billy making gagging sounds.

“Ugh, no, mommy!” Billy grabbed Wanda by her hand shaking his head, “come on!! I’m hungry!”

“Me too!”

You chuckled wiggling your brows while winking at Wanda, “come, America is waiting for us and then, once we have them distracted I will kiss you again.”

Wanda flushed but she decided she wouldn’t wait, instead of letting you go she grabbed you by your hand and placed a singe kiss on your lips. You blinked away your shock, while the twins merely snickered covering their mouths.

“Now, where are you taking me guys?”

“We’re going to the park!” The twins screamed running towards the car, you smiled at Wanda who merely blinked confused at you.

“The amusement park.” You clarified scratching the back of your head, “they have this new carnival and I thought you guys would like it.”

Wanda let her eyes wandered to her children then back at you, her heart shrank under your stare and the innocent happiness behind her children. She nodded stretching her hand to grab your right hand in hers.

“We’ve never been to one, so I’m pretty sure we would love it.”

“Good, then let’s go!”

__________________

The park was located it in the southern part of the city.

Winter was the perfect time to bring forth the ice-skating rinks, the place was filled with families and friends enjoying the falling afternoon light and the bright lights from the different attractions. Wanda felt her heart jumped anxiously when she lost sight of Tommy and Billy only to see them talking animatedly with Kate and America.

It didn’t take too long for her to see the familiar faces of her students, and some of your friends walking around the place while sharing a good time. You intertwined your fingers with hers, smiling softly at her while leading her to the closest food stand. You glanced around seeing as America shook her head while negotiating with the twins, Wanda leaned closer to you offering the same tender smile she reserved for you.

“This is amazing.”

“You liked it?” You asked softly, Wanda nodded squeezing your hand reassuringly.

“I do.”

“Good, I was thinking of doing something different with you and the twins, I know as of late you have been stressing out and they haven’t slept well.” You lowered your gaze to the menu, sensing as Wanda tensed by your side.

“You knew?” She turned to America then back at you, your lips broke into a crooked smile shrugging.

“I suspect as much.” You sighed pointing at the combo for a hot dog and soda, “this one look fine, what do you say?”

“It has been difficult but, nothing we can’t deal with.” Her tone of voice had improved since new year, but sometimes you could catch the scratching of her throat and the fading wound Vision had left on her.

“You know I’m here for you and the twins, don’t you?” You faced the young woman, this time around forgetting all about the food and focusing your attention on Wanda.

Wanda shifted letting go of your hand, she felt the cold breeze of the afternoon sneaked inside her clothing. She shivered missing the warmness your hand was providing, though if she were to be honest with herself, it wasn’t your hand. It was you. All of you.

“I know.” Wanda lowered her gaze, her arms wrapping around herself. “Sometimes it’s just difficult for me to know…to actually realise I’m not alone. And that…”

She trailed off when a young man came from behind the counter asking for your order. Wanda observed with care just as you asked for her favourites, while also making sure to ask for Billy and Tommy’s favourites. You knew them so well, Wanda wondered why she had never noticed how attentive you were, how much you knew about them without any difficulties.

You need to let go, and give yourself a chance.

Wanda had already had this conversation before, and she had already fought over with herself against the uncertainty that these new emotions and this new relationship might bring to her life. With a softening heart she sneaked her arm around yours leaning closer to you, you lifted your brows surprised by the gesture but smiling smugly at her closeness.

“Which one is your favourite?” Wanda asked all of a sudden, you furrowed your brows pursing your lips before speaking.

“I like it spicy; you know? No pineapple because, yuck,” Wanda chuckled taking into your every word, “and I like all the sauces I can get my hands on.”

“So basically, a hot dog that may kill you in the near future or get you an upset tummy?” Wanda commented shaking her head, you rolled your eyes shrugging.

“Come on, is not that bad!!”

Wanda snorted but she could not say anything else for Billy and Tommy came right there, both of them were quite excited talking at the same time pointing to a different set of attractions they wanted to try over. You smiled fondly just as Wanda tried to negotiate with her children, America chuckled lifting her arms when both of them pointed to her while pouting. Soon the food was brought over, and you decided it was time for you to intervene.

“Okay, okay, I have a proposal!” Everyone turned to you, your good arm lifting above your head before pointing with your head the table filled with food. “We are going to eat first, then we will go to the Carousel, then we will move onto the bumper cars.”

Billy and Tommy cheered high fiving while hugging you with smiles on their faces, Wanda chewed on her lower lip glancing at those rides before turning to you. You winked at her leaning forward while lifting a single finger.

“Then, we will go to the Ferris Wheel to see the lights show from the park, okay?”

“Yes!” The twins then proceed to drag you to the table eager to start eating and go to the different attractions.

Wanda and America stayed behind grabbing napkins and helping with the beverages.

“They really are happy.” Wanda stated glancing at her children then back at America.

“They really are, are you?”

“I am.” Wanda shrugged smiling softly, Kate came right at that moment helping around while turning to Wanda.

“My mom just called me, she told me everything is ready and that if you confirmed her right now she would get everything ready for Friday.” Kate grinned when Wanda opened her eyes excitedly.

“You mean it?”

“Yep, I know Y/N would love her so…”

“You just have to say the word.” America pressed over smiling as well. Wanda turned to you where you were sitting with the twins helping them around while also allowing them to help you with the food.

Wanda felt her heart beat a tad bit faster, shrinking with pure emotion at the familiar scene she had gotten to witness in the last couple of weeks. She turned to the two teens nodding excitedly.

“Yes, tell her I take it.”

America squealed excitedly hugging Wanda before turning to an equally excited Kate.

“She is going to love it, you will see.”

Wanda surely hoped so, for the only thing in her mind was to make sure you also experience the love, affection and happiness she had felt with you from the moment the both of you met. From the moment, the both of you gave the friendship a chance to grow into something else.

Wanda Maximoff had never had such a wonderful time before.

She was dragged by you or America or even her children around the park to try the different attractions. She got to experience the adrenaline of the roller coaster, while also gave in the excitement of the bumper cars while laughing alongside you.

You were by her side at all times, without being overwhelming it was as if you knew what it was she needed and you were right there to make sure she got it. Wanda admired the easiness in which you and the twins soon found a common ground and they sought you out for comfort or confirmation of what to do next.

Whatever doubts that came after the incident, or whatever reluctance Wanda felt when around you were soon forgotten and she just gave in standing by your side with a beating heart and a tingling body whenever you brushed your hand against hers or your lips found hers when alone.

In the end, and after going through all the different stands holding games with prizes everyone ended up on the Ferry Wheel.

“Come on guys, you can go first.” You nodded to your sister and Kate, winking lightly while America just rolled her eyes.

“Let us take Billy and Tommy…” Kate started but you shook your head placing your right hand on her shoulder.

“No, this is for you guys, go and snog my sister when you get to the highest point,” you chuckled when Kate blushed looking away while America looked mortified, “you guys have been taken them with you most of the day, so it’s only fair. Go.”

Wanda was standing back with Billy and Tommy furrowing her brows when, after a moment of discussion America and Kate finally went inside one of the passenger cars. You stepped back joining Wanda who was trying to hold back the twins that were waving happily at America and Kate.

“I think we shouldn’t eat those candy apples,” Wanda snickered when the twins talked amongst themselves excitedly.

“Oh, come on, those are quite delicious, and I don’t mind them being this hyperactive.”

“You don’t?” Wanda blinked a couple of times stepping forward, waiting until the car stopped and the door was opened for you and the others to go in.

“No, I actually think it’s kinda cute.” You blinked at her before calling for Billy.

“Come here, little guy, you’re sitting with me, and Tommy is sitting with Wanda.” You pinned them with your eyes, your face transforming into a mask of pure seriousness. “I need you to be well-behaved because while this is fun, we need to make sure it is also safe, okay?”

“Yes, Y/N.” Both of them said at the same time, Wanda cocked her head lifting a single eyebrow impressed.

Soon the ride started with classical music playing through the speakers, you looked outside with Billy pointing out the different spots. You leaned forward answering his questions, while also telling him and Tommy about a past you had experienced with America and your parents. Wanda leaned back hearing the sound of your voice and the question of her children while taking in the scene.

“Woah, look mommy!! This is so pretty!” Tommy said pointing right outside the car where the lights show was being played near the skate rink.

“It is, it looks really pretty.” Wanda mumbled glancing at you and noticing you had your eyes on her.

“It is just beautiful.” You replied as well, smiling tenderly at her before turning your attention back to the outside world.

“This is the best day ever, Y/N, thank you.” Billy said softly turning to you and giving you a tight hug.

You returned the hug softening your features while feeling your heart skipped a beat under the display of affection from the little boy.

“I’m glad you like it, Billy.” Your voice was loud enough for him, Tommy and Wanda to hear you out, “I just want to make you enjoy the beautiful things in life, if you guys allow me to do so, I will be more than happy to show you the world.”

Wanda wrapped her arms around Tommy, shaking her head while her eyes filled with tears.

“How about you let us show you also the beautiful and fun things in life, and we share those experiences with one another?” Wanda replied glancing at you, the silent invitation there.

You chuckled nodding, “I would love that.”

Wanda nodded turning again to the world outside the passenger car, her heart leaping with happiness at the moment she was living with you and the twins. Suddenly, in the midst of such peaceful moment Wanda came to the realisation that everything she needed, whatever she had been looking for was just there, sitting right across her loving her children and her without asking nothing in return.

And for that, she loved you without any reservations.

For that, she promised herself to make sure you were happy, the way you were making her and her children happy.

____________________________

Final chapter: The date Wanda planned finally comes to be, there will be smut, and happily ever after.

#fanfic #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wandaxreader #imagine wanda maximoff #female reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #reader

[theoisdaydreaming]

hi!! i loved your overlord angel dust/husk art and i commented about potentially turning it into a fic and adding your art, which you consented to. i was wondering if you had any additional ideas to make it more than a oneshot, maybe they open a casino together with mafia roots, collect souls together, etc…once again, your art was amazing!!

Thank you so much, I would love a fic about my AU (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

Here are other ideas about the story:

In this AU Angel didn't worked with Valentino, he and Arackniss reconciled before Angel could sign a contract with him

That is not to say Angel wasn't doing sex work, he would take all kinds of offers, from stripping to singing gigs, just for the money

Regarding the backstory of the spider brothers I haven't really fleshed it out but here are some points of it:

They had kind of a strained relationship even though they cared for each other, because Arackniss (or Andrew as I like to think) used to put down Anthony's dreams of becoming a performer like the drag queens he liked to see (in secret) in the gay bars the Mafia used to own back in the 30s (real history btw)

He did this in hopes he would give up, leave it all behind and live a 'normal' life, out of fear their dad would disown him, or worse, kill him

It wouldn't matter anyway because both of them would die together while doing a shady work for the mob (who started the shots? They couldn't really remember)

At the beginning of their afterlife Arackniss avoided Angel with the guilt that (according to him) it was his fault his little brother got shot in the eye. (He was too far, too late, he couldn't protect his brother and now he's dead because of him)

Cause of this angel thinks his brother hates him, but they eventually encounter during a turf war that went wrong

Arackniss sees Angel surrounded and not wanting to repeat his brothers death again, he saves him this time.

They sort things out, and become closer than ever

When Arackniss figures out what angel has been doing for money they decide to start doing mob work again, they're good and people start giving their loyalty and doing contracts with them because the brothers actually care about the souls they own, deciding to learn from their father's mistakes, they respect all of their workers

furthermore, Angel gains more influence because he gave the people he met while being a sex worker, safe and living conditions; every stripper, actor, performer wanted to work with him, and with all the contracts he made, became an overlord

On the other hand, arackniss does all the shady work, sticking to the shadows, not wanting any attention. He is very prod of angel, and becomes his right hand man

Other ideas and dynamics:

Angel calls arackniss An, Andy or niss

Arackniss calls angel Angie, Anni, or Anth. (He never really liked tony, that's what his father called him)

They love each other very much but they're still siblings, they bicker and fight all the time (all their goons are used to it at this point, unimpressed by the brothers shenanigans)

Valentino develops some sort of obsession with Angel after meeting him (this brings problems)

Angel fell first, husk fell harder

They kind of had an enemies to lovers (but not really, more like a rivalry bc angel likes to annoy the cat overlord for fun)

Molly is still in heaven in this AU, arackniss was able to shield her from the family business (he couldn't with angel though, That's part of his guilt)

She died of heart disease before the brothers death

Angel is the spoilt younger sibling

I haven't really thought about how him and husk get together but they will definitely become a power couple

I like the idea Angel performs at the casino

He sings, does drag, etc. (Maybe some pornos too, just for fun)

What caught husk's attention is that Angel cared a lot for the souls he owned, he treated them like the humans they are

That's all I have for now, I will make more art about this AU later, you can use it if you like, whether as reference or inspiration for the fic (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Ik this is more about Angel and Arackniss but I really like to focus on their story. So regarding the huskerdust you can have fun with that as I don't have a lot of ideas

#overlord angel dust #hazbin hotel #huskerdust #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #arackniss hazbin hotel #angel dust x husk #hazbin hotel angel dust #angel dust #husker hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #overlord husk au #overlord Huskerdust #overlord! casinohearts #casinohearts

[redriotinggg]

I need anyone who genuinely dislikes Usopp to take a long look in the mirror because yeah, he can be a bit annoying at times but he is honestly a good and interesting character!!

He is just as loyal as any other member of the crew and fights the strongest when he’s fighting on someone else’s behalf. (See: him fighting for Sanji in Skypeia, fighting for Robin at Eneis Lobby, fighting for Luffy in Dressrosa, fighting for Tama and Nami in Wano.) He is a major player in so many of the battles in the series that it baffles me that people can think of him as an unimportant member of the crew.

And Usopp is a fucking genius??? Hello???? He’s able to make weapons powerful enough to create storms and tornadoes. He is canonically a jack-of-all trades that supports the crew in their daily lives and in battle. The Going Merry only lasted as long as she did because Usopp was around to care for her. He was the only one to see her Klabauterman!! Usopp is not only creative and fun but is able to bring those creations to life, whether it be his drawings or his gadgets, and I think that’s so beautiful. I miss pre-TS because of all his inventions we got to see.

Let’s not forget that Usopp is so, so kind!! He made friends with the kids in his village and told stories to Kaya to help her feel better when she was ill. He fought to protect her and Syrup Village from Kuro. Personally, I will never get over filler ep on Fireworks Island (ep. 134) where he cheered up Kodoma and encouraged her to continue her pyrotechnics, assuring that her parents were proud of her. Knowing he also lost his parents at a young age makes the scene hit that much harder. (And again, he showed his genius by figuring out a way to launch the firework that killed Kodoma’s parents!!) It may not be canon to the manga but but I think that episode is super accurate to his character.

What I think makes him the most interesting is that we see his flaws and mistakes more than any of the other Straw Hats. We see his insecurities in Water 7 and his fear in Dressrosa. But we also see him growing and learning and being encouraged by his crewmates. Aside from Robin, I think Usopp has changed and grown the most out of the Straw Hats. With his goal to become a brave warrior of the sea he has so much potential for even more growth!!

Like I said earlier, some people think Usopp is annoying which he can be sometimes, but that’s also because he’s literally comic relief. And he does so well at it bc he’s actually so damn funny?? He makes me laugh out loud all the time. One Piece wouldn’t be even half as funny without Usopp.

I also appreciate that as an individual he has so many moments with the other Straw Hats. There are a lot of relationships that don’t get explored as much as we’d like, but I think we get to see Usopp’s friendships with the crew pretty often. He fights for Luffy, plays around with Chopper, teases Zoro, is teased by Robin, gossips with Nami, hangs around Sanji, and his whole relationship with Franky has so many layers to it.

Aaahh, I have so many hopes for Usopp in the series that I pray will be fulfilled!! I want him to have a badass arc in Elbaf full of character growth. I want to see him develop and continue to use his Haki (which he gained when trying to save Luffy are you KIDDING me). I want his reunion with Yasopp to be emotional and bittersweet. If he could personally beat Yasopp in a fight I would ascend to the heavens.

Usopp is such an important, complex, and interesting character and I absolutely hate to see him reduced to being a gag character or the weakest member of the Straw Hats. He may not be a monster but he is amazing and I love him.

TLDR; if you disrespect Usopp I wish you a very Die.

#usopp #god usopp #one piece usopp #op usopp #HE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME #anyone who disrespects usopp is a FOOL and BLIND and doesn’t deserve anything #he is so important to the series why won’t you guys get that #fellow usopp truthers hear my cries!! we will give our sniper the respect he deserves #one piece #strawhats #red’s ramblings #op meta

[wosoluver]

To undo a mistake

Part 10/17 - previous - next

Lena x Bayern Player!reader

Now you were back home. Back to Munich. Back to playing on your team and back with your friend(s).

You were doing good. The games for the Euro qualifiers had boosted your confidence.

"Morning!" - You said. As you stopped the car in front of Ana's place.

"Good morning." - She said getting in the passenger seat.

"First day back, how do you feel?"

"It's not actually my first day back, it's just my first day back since you returned from camp."

"So, the only first day it actually matters to be back."

"You are so full of yourself." - You two were laughing at your fake discussion.

"Are you allowed to train on the pitch with us or are you just going to do solo drills?"

"The doctor said I definitely can't play. So probably solo drills for the next couple months. But we can do gym work together."

You couldn't notice, but Ana was so glad you were keeping busy with your questions the whole ride. You were in such a good mood, she didn't want to ruin.

It only lasted till you walked in the locker room to get ready.

Syd, Lea, Klara and Giulia had all decided to avoid the topic around you.

But the team had around another 22 players, they knew it was only a matter of time until you heard it. They were counting on at least one day that is, unless Ana told you.

Unfortunately as soon as you got to the field, Alara teased you.

"So you've heard the rumors yet?"

"What rumors?" - you looked confused, no one had said anything to you.

"Oberdorf is coming to Bayern."

"What?"

"Alara no! You weren't supposed to say anything!" - said Pernille.

"Wait you all knew? Since when?"

You looked around and hated the look of pity most were giving you.

You shook your head, keeping to yourself the whole training. You were silent. Why didn't she tell you? She had plenty of time during camp.

To say you were angry was underrating your feelings. All of this so a year later she moved into your club?

You had never told anyone and you would never admit to it. But when Lena first started to complain so much about the distance between the two of you, you momentarily considered moving clubs to be with her.

It was such a stupid thought. And you were so glad you didn't follow through with it.

At the time you had no idea, but now you knew that even if you had done that, your relationship would still fall apart, since the distance was never the actual problem.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't say anything." - Ana said caching up to you on your way inside.

"Why? Just why Guzmán? I'm your only friend here!" - Everyone coming in behind you two heard it. You were basically yelling at her.

"Don't take your frustrations on me! It's not fair. Everyone around here did the same. - she took a deep breath. -

"You were so happy this morning I didn't have it in me to tell you."

"I just don't get why she's doing this. And why she didn't tell me when she had the chance!"

"Come here." - She said holding you in a hug.

"We agreed to being friends, and she still continues to hide things from me."

Ana never wanted to be a pivot in your relationship with your ex. She didn't want to put you against Lena and tried her best to stay neutral and supportive. But this was becoming harder.

"You can't keep letting this things have such an effect on you. You can't keep letting her, have this effect on you."

"I know, it's just frustrating. Why is she moving here? She could've chosen any other top team in Europe. They would've taken her in. Any of them.

When I told her we could be friends I meant, treat each other cordially when when casually see each other, which was only at camp or at a game. Not, come live close to my house let's become best friends and do everything together."

"There's not really any place available as your best friend, I already took it." - she tried making you laugh.

"I'm serious. I just want to get back to my life without having to worry about Lena every five minutes."

"But that's something you'll have to learn, with or without here. Now let's go to the gym."

"I hate when you give me advice. You're aways right. - following her to the gym.

-> guys I know Lena is already signed to transfer during summer, but for the sake of the story, this is only happening now. 🩷

#woso x reader #lena oberdorf #lena oberdorf x reader #fc bayern frauen #vfl wolfsburg frauen

[choicesficwriterscreations]

April OC of the Month: Olivia Hadley

Please welcome April 2024's MC of the Month! Each month, we highlight one MC or OC on our Meet My MC / OC List. They are selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

This month’s OC of the month is…

@storyofmychoices's Olivia Hadley!

More below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC / OC.

Olivia is literally sunshine. She is the most genuine and empathetic person. She constantly looks for ways to help others and make life better for those who are not as fortunate as she is. She always tries to make everyone she meets (especially children) feel special and heard/appreciated. It doesn’t matter if she knows them or not. She looks out for everyone. She is just a good person with the most beautiful heart and soul. She is so precious to me. In an ideal world, there would be a lot more Olivia’s to help us all feel special.

Do you feel your MC / OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I do think Olivia and I have a lot in common. While I wish I could be as kind and empathetic as Olivia, I am still human, and I make mistakes. I try really hard to live by the principles of “leave the world a little better than you found it” (even if it’s just putting away a grocery cart someone left or picking up one piece of trash in a parking lot) and “be kind whenever possible; it is always possible” (this one is a little harder, but I try every single day to show kindness to everyone, even when I cannot show it to myself). I feel those principles also represent Olivia, she’s just better at it than me.

I also think we have similar occupations. We both wanted to be veterinarians and then learned we’d have to put animals down. Then we both switched to Pediatric Medicine. Olivia stuck with it. I decided to be a teacher because Pediatricians need to know how to deliver babies, and that’s a hard pass for me. Childbirth might be a miracle, but it’s disgusting (IMHO) lol. But we both work closely with children and try to make a positive impact on their lives. We both do whatever we can to create a safe place where children can tell us stuff they don’t know if they can share with their parents yet (questioning their sexual identity or gender). I’ve been very lucky to help several transgender elementary students feel more confident and accepted as well as work with parents to help them help their child. I’ve also worked with students with abusive home lives or their families can’t afford basic needs so I’ve gone out of my way to try to help them through anonymous donations and gift cards through the school. Anything I can do to ease even one struggle, I will do it and I think that is very much the person Olivia is. Olivia will always look out for anyone in her life. 

As for differences, Olivia is a little more confident than I am. I drink far more coffee than she does. We both love plants, but she keeps them alive better than I do. I try, but I don’t always succeed, though a cactus I got as a gift from a student 3 years ago just bloomed for the first time this month, so I’m super excited for that. Maybe Olivia is finally rubbing off?

What is most important to your MC / OC? What is their motivation in life?

Olivia’s motivation is truly to make the world a better place. She knows that it’s not always easy, and there are so many struggles and so many hardships. She really wants to make a difference in the lives of those closest to her as well as in the community she serves. She knows she can’t conquer world hunger or global peace, but if she can make a difference to people around her then maybe those people can help some others and things would ripple out from there. 

After she has children, her motivation splits. She’ll never stop caring about those around her or the patients she sees, but her children are her first priority.

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

Olivia doesn’t like gossip. She doesn’t like when people talk about others behind their back in a negative way. It makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t like passive aggressive responses to situations. She genuinely believes that people are good, and if we all just try to have a little more empathy and understanding, the world would be a better place. 

She doesn't like rudeness, pettiness, or dishonesty.

Olivia prefers order and organization, so she dislikes chaos and messy places. 

If your MC / OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

If Olivia could change anything, she’d find a cure for childhood cancer. She takes each case to heart and watching children struggle is something that is very hard for her. She would never trade her time at Edenbrook for anything, and she feels guilty for even thinking it, but she is grateful when she opens her own practice that most of her cases become regular checkups and normal/everyday illnesses.

What is your MC / OC’s favorite quote or song?

“My favorite things in life don't cost any money. It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time." — Steve Jobs

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that, I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.” ― Maya Angelou

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." —Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Even miracles take a little time.” — Fairy GodMother (Cinderella) 

“Happily ever after is about finding happiness within yourself and holding on to it through any storm that comes your way." —Chris Colfer

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC / OC?  (It can be why you created them, how they’ve inspired you, or you could write a little blurb as if it is coming from your OC - an acceptance speech. :) )

Ahhh what else to say about my precious Olivia?! She truly brings me so much joy.  

If you’ve been in this fandom long enough, you’ll remember I was an Ethan romancer when OH first released. I enjoyed Ethan/MC’s dynamic. They totally reminded me of Thomas Hunt x MC. However, just before the pandemic, I wrote Bryce, thinking it was a one off thing, but as the world started to shut down, things got darker and scarier, Bryce Lahela’s sunshine and encouragement was something that resonated with me. I tried to make Olivia fit in the role of MC, but I just didn’t like the setup of MC with Bryce. So I made Olivia an original character. Taking her out of that MC role gave me so much more freedom with her and so much more freedom for telling her and Bryce’s story. I loved being able to see where each story would take them. I’m eternally grateful to Olivia (and Bryce) for helping me get through the Covid Pandemic. Having her and Bryce and their friends and family helped me have something positive and hope-filled to hold onto.

Olivia is actually really competitive. You might not see it or notice it at first, but if you’ve ever been a part of any competition with her, you’ll see she will not hold back. 

Olivia has a black belt in taekwondo, even though she never talks about it. She got it in High School. She wanted to do something to challenge herself and she wasn’t participating in any team sports, though she did try to get a pingpong team started in her school but it never took off. 

Olivia volunteered with Habitat for Humanity for a summer in the Dominican Republic.

Olivia has Scottish roots and has always dreamed of going to Scotland. She hasn’t gotten there yet, but one day!

Olivia is almost as lucky to have such good friends in Casey and Merida as I am to have @jerzwriter and @lilyoffandoms in my life. I can’t even begin to express how special they are to me and how I treasure their friendship.

Thank you to everyone who has ever supported Olivia. She is truly a special character who is so close to my heart. The fact that she is truly an original character and you still adore her means so much to me. I can’t say thank you enough. The amount of serotonin I get from writing and sharing her with you should be illegal, and then when anyone interacts, my heart explodes with unicorns and rainbows and all the sunshine. I’m eternally grateful for the support of Olivia, Bryce, and their little world. Thank you!!! 

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc oc of the month #open heart #open heart choices #choices open heart #meet my oc #olivia hadley #storyofmychoices #playchoices #choices #choices stories you play #playchoices fanfic #choices fanfic #open heart fanfic

[starsreminisce]

The trope treasure trove that is Elucien is what is keeping me going

If Elain is insisting to be a part of the NC, she’s eventually will have to interact with him, especially if he’s at a point where he’s reporting directly to Rhys.

We literally could have:

He falls first but she falls harder

side glances and pretending not to pay attention

the breaths close to the skin

the near touches or brushing of fingertips

Elain learning more about him through other people

Lucien discovering Elain’s dry wit and humor

Elain slowly tracing his scars as he tells her they were because he stood up to people he cared for and how self-conscious he is about them

Lucien getting to see just how angry Elain is with everything and smiling saying “finally”

angsty confessions hopefully in the rain

angry aggressive kissing hopefully in the rain

sneaking around coz of they’re not ready to tell people

prim and proper in the streets, freaky in the sheets

IC trying to guess what exactly is going on between them but they don’t know themselves coz they can’t keep their hands off each other when they’re alone

trying to justify it’s the bond that’s making them feel this way about each other

the freaking banter that would happen between them!

“I have done everything - everything - within my power so you can be happy, what more can I do?”

“My own mother was trapped in a marriage she didn’t want, do you think of me so cruel as to wish that life for you?” “It’s not that.” “Then what is it? Why would you want to subject us to this purgatory?” “Because I can’t breathe when I try to reject the bond. I’ve tried. I’ve tried and I just … can’t…"

"Lucien, I was supposed to be married. I was going to have the life I'd dreamed of since I was a little girl." "And I will never forgive myself for taking that from you." "But I do. Because it wasn't the dream I wanted."

"Who was she?" "Nobody" "Didn't look like nobody by the way she was talking to you." "Lady Elain, are you jealous?" "No ... I ... I just didn't like the way she was talking to you." "I wasn't aware you had a habit of watching other females talk to me. Quite nasty, actually." "You're insufferable." "Am I? She didn't seem to think so when she was talking to me."

"I'm sorry! That was a mis-" "No, Elain, never a mistake. Never."

"Why don't you run along to that little bat boyfriend of yours. I'm sure he's hanging around here somewhere as though I am not allowed be around my own mate." "He's not here." "He's a terrible spy, of course he's here." "He is not. He's the best we have." "Please. He was in love with Mor for 500 years and couldn't figure out that Rita's is a gay bar?" "MOR IS GAY?" "Told you Azriel was lurking close by”

"You are such a ... such a ..." "Say it" "PRICK!" "... now I know you definitely hang around Feyre too much."

"You're staring, Lady Elain." "Am not. I had a vision." "Fascinating" "What?" "Just every time I take my shirt off, you seem to have a vision, is all." “Probably to shield myself from looking at your body.” “Are you having another vision again?” “No…” “because you’re staring at my chest again, Lady Elain”

“I wanted to take Feyre’s place when Tamlin abducted her, but now I’m thankful that I didn’t.” “Confidently, you would have broken the curse within a month.” “I know for a fact I wouldn’t. I would have condemned you all to her rule.” “I doubt that, not when I was helping Tamlin along.” “That’s the problem. I would have fallen for you instead.”

“Must you smile at every female who walks by?” “How am I at fault that they smile at me first?”

“I don’t see why you have a problem with your scar. It’s a sexy scar.” “A sexy scar?” “Yes… ohhh… you know what I mean.” “I don’t. Indulge me.” “Lucien, please.” “No no no no. You started it so might as well finish it. What do you mean by sexy scar?” “You know … a scar … that looks sexy…” “That’s a horrible explanation.” “You’re my mate so you’re supposed to know what I mean.” “So I’m your mate now?” “I hate you.” “I don’t think you do when I’m your mate with a sexy scar.” “Prick.” “I know.”

“Is it really that hard for you to say that you love me?” “Yes, it is” “Then what are we-” “Those three words aren’t enough to convey how I feel about you. I love you doesn’t even begin to cover how I deeply feel about you. It’s more. I more than love you. I am willing to betray my own morals for you.” “You’d … kill for me?” “If you wished for it, yes. Without hesitation.”

“Oh yea? This is you ‘I’m Lucien Vanserra, I hate the scar on my face so much that I don’t notice how every female gawks at me’ that’s you!” “Well I’m Lady Elain Archeron. I am so beautiful that I bring kings to their knees and I don’t notice how everyone turns their head at me. That’s you!” “I’m Lucien Vanserra and look how strong I am with my muscles and my thighs.” “I’m Lady Elain Archeron and look how pretty I am with my lips and my doe eyes.” “I’m Lucien Vanserra and look how broad my chest is for you to … drag your fingers across and … to steady you as you ride my gigantic cock.” “I’m Lady Elain Archeron and look how perfectly perky my breasts are and how quick my nipples harden when you … when you...” “Finish your sentence.” “What?” “What?” “What were we arguing about?” “I don’t … I don’t recall.”

"Are you going to die for Jesminda or are you going to live for me?"

#elain x lucien #elucien #pro elucien #originally a reddit comment #the grin forever etched on my face

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

Hey their

I was wondering if you could make a headcanon of Miguel and the reader being best friends please

OFC I CAN <3

Okay sO

First off, I imagine Miguel and Y/N knowing each other from a young age

Either from elementary school, or through their parents.

For now I'll go with the elementary school option,

So the two of you definitely know each other since a long while, sticking around through both the good and the bad times.

I also see Y/N as a bit of a nosy friend, especially so since Miguel tends to keep most things to himself (or everything given the chance.)

Anyway, I'm going to skip most of their childhood  because it isn't as interesting as after he's bitten.

Miguel would definitely try to keep a distance from Y/N after he's found out about his powers, especially since he doesn't entirely know how to deal with the consequences of his new abilities.

And of course Y/N would eventually just break his shell, and demand answers.

Que Miguel just showing them and Y/N being completely speechless for a bit, before going 'What're you going to do now?'.

Eventually, you become his person in the chair before Lyla is even created.

(Speaking of Lyla, you might be the one to create her. Creating her as a practical best friend first and a 'business AI' second.)

I also imagine you'd definitely be there when it comes to creating the Spider Society. 

Like that building is huge and the interior is downright badass but who could make that happen without Miguel revealing his identity?

Boom > you

Because plot twist you're not just good with computers, you're also great at designing stuff (aka most of spider society, and the biggest part of the Gizmo)

You're there from the start, from before the spider society grew big, and before he made the grave mistake of living in a universe he didn't belong to.

You warned him, you really did, but he wouldn't listen to you.

You're also the person he falls back on for comfort when he destroys Gabriella and the universe she's from.

He tells you all about his guilt, and how it should absolutely never happen again.

After that he's more of a ghost of the person you're used to.

Yet you never leave him.

He's your best friend after all.

You help him heal.

You're the person who cares for him when he can't seem to care for himself.

And you're also the only person he turns to outside of being spiderman.

The only person who could get him out of his lab for a few hours to go to the movie theatre because something came out you really wanted to see.

He doesn't mind spending time with you outside of the spider society, feeling incredibly grateful that he has you by his side.

(Down below is you as his romantic interest in his life aswell.)

What he also wouldn't tell you is that in this universe, you're his partner. Gabriella's other parents. Which makes it all the harder.

Because he's liked you as more than a friend in this universe since forever, so it definitely hurts when he found out that you are everything he wishes to be with you in this other universe.

You'll never know the truth behind his cries when he cries into your arms when he comes back.

Because he feels like he's responsible for killing the other you as well, a variant of the person he loves so much.

He feels guilty for crying in your arms as well.

Especially because he knows that if you were to know the truth, you'd probably forgive him, and tell him that he at least learned from this.

He'd also definitely be overprotective of you afterwards.

Often trying to keep you close to him for no apparent reason.

Also because he loves your presence.

But also because he's scared something might happen to you when you're outside of the society, or while he's in another universe whilst you're here.

You're the only person he'll ever love, he thinks.

Miguel O'Hara Masterlist

#idkeitherman #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman across the spider verse #x reader #platonic miguel o'hara x reader #spider man 2099

[1989stanz]

Nash proposing to Libby

Hey, guess what? I wrote another fic. Why? Because I have no job.

Disclaimer:

Mentions of Nash Hawthorne, Libby Grambs and Alisa Ortega. Minor cursing.

English is not my first language. I'm sorry if there's any mistakes.

Word count: 9K (IT'S LIKE THE SHORTEST I CAN, OK?!)

While growing up, all Nash craved and dreamed of—whole heartily, soul consuming and passionately— was his grandfather approval. He just wanted to know that he did enough, that he was enough. All the old man lessons he kept in mind, so he would not make any mistakes the next time. Be perfect. Better. Stronger. That's what Tobias always praised. But it didn't take long for him to discover who his grandfather, the man he admired, was. And after that, how could he learn about what being extraordinary really meant from a man who was worse than the devil? The respect slowly started to go away, giving room for the need to stay away from. From his money. His house. His horrific lessons that Nash memorized, who seemed to age like milk in his brain, leaving the dreadful spoiled smell behind. Eventually, he just put in his head that his lectures were full of bullshit that he did not need. But he knew, deep in his soul and heart, that he would never forget one, no matter how much time passed by. It just didn't go away.

5 years later

Nash was 22 years old, and he just came home from a long trip around the country. He tried working at different jobs, since he wouldn't use his grandfather money to keep him alive and under a roof. Tried being a mechanic, because he understood a lot of cars and motorcycles. Chef, since he knew a thing or two about cooking. Worked at Target for a long period, for the reason that he simply liked his costumers. Makeup artist, 'cause why not? At the time, he found it more enthusiastic to work as a bartender, serving all kind of drinks and listening to people's stories. However, he usually had a hard time trying to get a job, since he even refused to use his real last name and had to use a fake ID. Fortunately, he knew how to convince someone that his name really was Nash Ortega. Maybe he could change after his marriage with Alisa. Sure, she was having a bad time accepting the fact that he wanted her to move on from his grandfather and get others clients, but she probably would give in. She loved Nash and already said that she wanted to have a life with him, so there was a high chance that they would make it through. Of course they would. Just because it was a minor argument, that didn't mean they wouldn't work out as a marriage couple. They would, and Nash was more than pleased to state that he couldn't wait any longer to runaway from the billionaire with the love of his life, Alisa. The woman he could only think 24/7. The one he always saw first in the mornings. The one and only he thought about having a family with. His heart pounded faster and harder just at the thought of his new life with his incredible wife. In fact, it beat so fast that it was the only thing he could hear at the quiet tree house. He took a moment to analyze it better. The Hawthornes were know for being magnificent when it came to luxury, always having really expensive and glorious things. Their own house and the others old man's properties were an example of it. But the tree house was out of curve, without anything really rich and embellished. It was like a normal tree house, the magic was on the memories. That's when Nash heard footsteps behind him, too fragile and languidness to belong to any of his brothers. Without turning around, he felt a light but firm hand on his shoulder. “It's beautiful, isn't it?”, the old man asked, and Nash couldn't keep himself from feeling a really pure disgusting feeling of his grandfather. Of everything that he had done. Yet, the Nash that once saw him as a father felt love. “It could be yours, all yours, if you choose to stay with Alisa.” His grandson threw his head back, laughing really hard. “Trying to manipulate me again, Tobias?”, he emphasized his name. No “grandfather” or “old man” for him today. The devil stood still, not appearing offended by his word or apologizing to his grandson. But the secret was that he would never say sorry to any of them—ever. He would die before it. “You're consistent, Nash,” he replied. “Resisting even when I offer you everything. That's what I love about you.” Nash snorted, “We both know that it isn't going to be me.” Tobias looked at Nash's eyes, his expression never giving a hint about his thoughts.

“Maybe you really aren't. But who cares? You decided years and years ago that you hated everything that was related to me, and you've been running away from me since them. And you have the audacity to say in front of my face that I'm manipulating you!”. The old man smiled, amused. “You took a decision years ago and stood with it, without any hesitation.”, he looked at Nash. “That's what you should do if you want to help people. I know you don't want my money, but don't hesitate, Nash. Never hesitate when making decisions to save someone. Be consistent, hard to deal with hesitation.”, he looked away. “If you don't be, the consequences can destroy you completely.” Nash felt like the old man was talking about his own experiences in life, but he didn't give a damn at the time. Or at least pretended to. He wasn't really good at pretending, if everything always came back to haunt him.

——————————————————————————

Looking at the ring he just bought to Libby, this memory came back. Nash wasn't made for hesitation. He always thought about the right decision to make, and he stood with his decision no matter what. It was hard to change his mind. When he broke free from the old man, he was confident about it. When it came to his brothers, he was sure about every single decision. Even when he proposed to Alisa, he was more than certain about it. Of course, he was ignorant enough to think that Alisa would give up on the old man. She didn't, and it was terrifying to think about the things that Tobias did. The things he took away from Nash. But this time he wasn't there, which meant that he couldn't take Libby away. He was hers and this would never change. He was sure about everything that was about her, so why he got so nervous and insecure just by looking at the ring? Probably because he didn't know if she wanted it too. Libby loved Nash, but what if it was too early to take this step? What if it was the wrong kind of ring? What if the place wasn't adequate? And the most horrendous question: what if she wanted it, but not with him? There were so many doubts, and he didn't like to be so. . . Scared. That's it, Libby managed to get him scared. And unsure. But that's what he would find in a marriage life. Sometimes, being married isn't a straight road, and it's definitely not easy and secure. It was more like being in a road full of multiple turns and confused, mysterious and even scary streets. But once the streets are crossed, the rest is lovely. Not easy, but worth it. And Nash was ready for it.

Libby spent her entire life in Connecticut, and now that she had money and a food truck business, she wanted to travel to places that once were only part of an unreachable dream. Like Paris. Nash had the idea, and he planned everything for the two of them: booked a hotel, searched for restaurants that made her favorite foods, localized the most famous places that sold flowers—just in case— and he had every single day planned. Well, at least the second day had to strictly follow the plan.

They arrived late at night in Paris, Nash still feeling terrible from the flight, ate dinner and slept. Nash woke up at 5:00 am, anxiety not letting him sleep for long, and they left at 7:00 am.

The Eiffel Tower. Notre Dame. Palais Garnier. Louvre Museum. Champs-Élysées. Nash took her to visit all these places, loving to see the admiration in her face. He has been to Paris before, therefore there wasn't anything he hasn't seen—at least at the most famous locations. Even though he did not like expensive places, he really wanted to give this experience to Libby before proposing. And by the end of the day, they were exhausted. It was impossible to feel his toes, but he had to ask the important question to her. They were standing on a cliff, staring at the Eiffel Tower—which was pretty, he had to admit. “Nash, why did you randomly take me to Paris?” Libby asked, and he froze, unable to even look at her. But she glanced at him. “I know you would eventually take me to travel, but why right now?”

He gathered himself, his heart pounding fast. “I love you, Libby. You deserve to have a day like this one every day for the rest of your life”, he picked her chin, looking in her eyes. “But I brought you here today because I wanted to ask you something.” He dropped her chin, searching for the ring on his pocket. “You saved me in so many ways, Libby. You fixed what I thought could never be fixed. You loved me for what I am, and I want to be with you until I die. So,” he picked the box, “I really want to know.” Opening it carefully, he revealed the ring. If he wasn't shaking, sweating and so god-damn nervous, he would've noticed Libby's shy smile and her hands shaking. She was blushing, like him. Kneeling, he asked, “Lib, will you marry me?” Her smile grew more and more, happiness dominating her completely. She shook her head and said out loud, “Yes, Nash. I'll marry you. I love you so much.” Lib managed to say the last part with a quavering voice, tears falling down her cheeks. He got up from the ground, and she hugged him really tight, both with bright smiles. Nash kissed her like his life depended on it, like he was made for it and for nothing else, a soft and lovely kiss. His lips held an unspoken promise: “I will fight for you, love you, and always choose you. I'm yours, and I'll do everything I can to make you happy.” And they stood there, kissing, with happy tears in their eyes.

#the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #nash hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #xander hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #fanfic #fanfiction #fiction #best seller books #books and reading

[willyoubemypartner]

Alyssa Cho - An Essay

Preface - Why is Alyssa so unsympathetic?

One of the things that’s odd about Alyssa’s character is that readers have rarely been so divisive over a single character, particularly about whether or not a character is sympathetic. There’s generally a consensus about the complicated nature of characters like Kousuke or even Rand, but Alyssa discourse feels very different.

During the formal arc, Quim has mentioned a few times that many scenes had to be cut due to Webtoon’s concerns about mature/dark content conflicting with adsense policies. Quim has recently mentioned weaving these scenes back in wherever possible, meaning that things were still happening in universe, we just couldn't see them. But now when these themes come up later to be more explored, they have to be introduced in a roundabout way for it to make sense. Instead of us getting what was intended and being able to build off that foundation as we follow the story and naturally understanding the pacing as it goes.

Now how does this tie into Alyssa? Alyssa in particular had important scenes cut from the formal - parallels we lost with Alyssa and Shin-Ae, the understanding and characterization of the Kims and other elites, the reality of her life in the idol world. It turned the formal into more of a ? than it needed to or should have been, and pulled the foundation of understanding Alyssa’s character right out from under us. We went essentially 200 chapters without really getting a look at her. She was introduced (like many ILY characters) in a certain way, but it took so much longer for her to get to show her depth and development beyond that mold. And it makes it so much harder for readers to see her objectively. People don't want to have to flip their entire understanding of and feelings towards Alyssa at chapter 230.

The foundation for Alyssa being more than just the attention seeker has always been there, we just didn't get to see it.

I don't always love Alyssa. But I feel for her. She's a real person as much as every other character. She’s not just "a girl who makes the wrong choices" nor is she just “the bad friend” or just “the trapped victim” - she is all of them . Alyssa may be misguided, but that’s just it - she's misguided because she never learned how to conflict. She tries to make the right choices, and fails. She’s trying her best and it never works out for her. And so she makes mistakes and she hurts people - including herself. And a lot of them are big mistakes, with very real consequences. She can see what’s really happening around her, but thinks that maybe it can work. And so she keeps making those wrong choices, because the core that she needs to change isn't something she feels safe to rectify. She’s miserable, but she can’t get out. She draws herself to the only light she can see, like a moth to a flame.

She’s introduced as this foe, even the mini Yui. And we're supposed to originally see her that way and know that that's now Nol has come to see her. But we are simultaneously supposed to break that down and see that she is also trapped. She idolized Yui and fell so far into the deep end without realizing it and now has to be Yui's puppet. The puppetmaster imagery is both Alyssa taking after Yui and falling for it, AND Yui taking advantage of her and Alyssa having no choice anymore but to play along and be taken advantage of. There’s that inherent dichotomy to how Alyssa acts and who she is and why she is.

Something about Alyssa is that her motives and feelings are almost always far more complex than they appear. Alyssa is so plagued by those parts of herself that she’s afraid of. Alyssa gets so much criticism for making her choices because for us it's so easy to see where she's going wrong. But, if she could really see it, she wouldn't be here. We know how this really ends and what would actually help, but all Alyssa has seen is that the way she handles things is the viable option. The whole point with Alyssa is that nobody helped her navigate these things . She's as much a victim as everyone else, even though she's hurt arguably our two most sympathetic characters.

Everyone thinks that she is an attention seeker. That she's successful and aloof and just drops people. Nobody is taking a second to see her childhood trauma, understand her real motivations, look at how trapped she is, how miserable. Nobody is extending a hand to her because they don't understand. And with nobody understanding her, nobody can give her an actual way forward, because everyone's attempts will be for a problem that isn't the real issue. Like many, if not all, of our characters, in order to understand Alyssa we have to acknowledge that the reason this is happening is because of unmet and unaddressed needs, lack of personal insight, being in survival mode - the person feeling like they had no other choice.

The people Alyssa hurt are our two main characters, and we are supposed to feel a way about that. But so much of the point is about how our emotional reaction to Alyssa isn't all there is. That she’s not any more or less evil just because the people she hurt are the ones we’re emotionally connected to. That she is a person who has her own story, her own motivations, her own mistakes, her own needs, her own fears, her own traumas. Not that it negates all the harm, but just that there is more to it. That we have to be able to examine and sit with our complex feelings towards her.

Unconditional Love & Chasing The Light 

At the core of Alyssa’s character is the desire to be seen and accepted for herself, at odds with the belief that who she is can’t possibly be okay.

We get some important insight into this throughout the Shinlyssa arc, but especially at Alyssa’s house and with the bullies. In Alyssa’s bedroom we see portraits of Hedy Lamaar, Thomas Edison, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Melba Roy Mouton, Alan Turing, Vera Rubin, and Sally Ride. The portraits were identified and analyzed by Kimione back in 2022 (https://new.reddit.com/r/ILoveYoo/comments/ws18yg/alyssa_cho_symbolisms_notes_and_scribblings/) as well as this recent post (https://www.reddit.com/r/ILoveYoo/comments/15sh4k7/the_portraits_in_alyssas_room_in_episode_190/?sort=confidence).

Recurring themes in the portraits are all of them being involved in groundbreaking science, contributions to communication or space, being both scientific and artistic, experience of inequity and adversity, and nonnormative sexuality. For all of these people, resilience and passion in the face of a world which did not see them clearly, which did not initially support them, carried them through to their success. For many of them, a key figure (or several) in their lives provided that support that helped them reach the world. Hedy Lamarr said that her father “made me understand that I must make my own decisions, mold my own character, think my own thoughts.”

In Alyssa’s case, we can see based on her choice of portraits and conversation with Shin-Ae that she wants to be seen for who she is, leave her mark on the world through her passions, be genuine in an off-beat way. Like those on her wall, she has a natural skill for both arts and science, but intends to pursue her passion for science, perhaps using her skill in the arts to inform her manner of thinking. The difference, however, is that she does not appear to have that support network. She says that her parents follow her every whim and she’s never been able to develop a real sense of self. We see that her mother puts on a face, appears weak, passive, the trophy wife. When Alyssa was home sick from school, we see her struggle to cope with conflict and rejection, curling up in her room and refusing to talk to anyone but Shin-Ae - yet she “flips a switch” the second she hears her father walk through the door. Something that she does often, as her mother even expected it. Alyssa establishes in that moment that it is not her emotions flipping a switch, but rather the fear of what happens when her father comes home and she is not who he wants her to be. She likely fears her strict father, and resents her passive mother. Either way, Alyssa clearly doesn’t feel supported in herself - she must be the perfect poster daughter, has no role models to look up to, has no understanding of how to make her own decisions, mold her own character, think her own thoughts.

Alyssa frequently exhibits self-doubt and feelings that nobody is listening, that nobody cares. That she must mold herself to whatever others want. That she has to keep parts of herself hidden. That what she wants to be is not something that she can pull herself up in the world through. That she has to bide her time and assuage people to earn her freedom. That she is trapped and isolated.

Although not directly confirmed, we get many hints throughout the Shinlyssa arc that Alyssa is a lesbian, that she had feelings for Shin-Ae. Alyssa being gay in a homophobic world, desperately trying to fit the social mold and find unconditional love, creates such a tragic outcome. While there are obviously so many more types of love than romantic, to have something Alyssa feels such shame for, something that she can not escape or pretend away, something she did not choose, something so wrongly yet so often considered a disease, an abomination, wrong, unnatural, nonconformist tied so directly to the experience of love creates such an all-consuming conflict in Alyssa. Even if she were bisexual, she could suppress enough of herself to fit the mold and find that love (as much as it would still hurt). With her being a lesbian, it enters the fact that she will never be able to find that kind of love while she’s hiding herself. That in her quest to fit the social mold to find love and validation she’s completely closing off that gate. There is something so incredibly tragic about that self-fulfilling prophecy, and it fuels so much of Alyssa’s conflict.

Something important is how much the Shinlyssa event affects not only Shin-Ae, but Alyssa. And, when talking about the Shinlyssa event, something so important to keep in mind is how young they were. They were children, only 12 or 13 years old, in a new environment - especially for Alyssa, who had never been outside the social environment of her home.

Shin-Ae is a character whose light shines bright, which everyone is caught in. That same light that she’s sharing with Nol. A light that even Alyssa was in back in middle school, but that she couldn’t stand in, because Alyssa couldn't accept all of herself. If she stayed in Shin-Ae's light, it would have illuminated the truths she's afraid of. Alyssa is so afraid of the light shining on parts of herself she doesn't want seen that she lets the light go out all together.

It's better in the dark.

So she snuffed out her own light.

She just wants to be accepted and thinks that nobody will accept her because of those parts of herself that she can’t accept. That she’s been taught are wrong. So she can not find acceptance and belonging, she can not stand in the light. And she settles for the closest thing she can find, that artificial light that lets her keep those parts of herself hidden. But that light will never come close when she has to hide so much of herself.

There’s likely only one time in Alyssa’s life that she felt that sense of unconditional love - in her relationship with Shin-Ae. How Alyssa felt the emotional support she desperately needed, that love she craved, that acceptance for her authentic self. How she felt seen with Shin-Ae. How she pushed her away because those are feelings she's not allowed to have. Not for an outcast. Not for someone so brazen. Not for a girl. Not for someone who sees Alyssa as she genuinely is. And now that feeling of actual love and acceptance may be something she never finds again. Only conditional. Only for her image. Her persona. Only when she does what she's told. But none of it true.

Alyssa doesn’t chase fame or adoration, she’s chasing acceptance while being unable to look at herself. She is in this career, in Yui’s grasp, as a direct result of the Shinlyssa event.

Nobody ever showed her safe unconditional love. So naturally she thinks that the only way she can be loved is by chasing adoration. And, as she got older, nothing has proven that wrong for her. The Shinlyssa accident factors so strongly into why Alyssa doesn't see another way. She did have Shin-Ae, but things still went so wrong. It was ingrained into Alyssa that she can not rock the boat, can not be in conflict, has to play nice with those around her. Shin-Ae was unconventional, unpopular, and unafraid to stand up for herself. That created tension between them, and a lot of problems between them and the other kids. Alyssa, in her world, kept trying to keep Shin-Ae and not cause problems at school, but it kept blowing up in her face. And, in the end Shin-Ae falls out a window. This is a horrible way to experience your first taste of interpersonal conflict and likely just solidified for her that you absolutely can not rock the boat, you have to placate people and fit the social mold. It's also likely that her parents were involved in the aftermath of what happened in middle school, considering how much it all got swept under the rug. With her feared, strict father and her good family image mother, I can only imagine what sort of treatment she was welcomed to at home after the Shinlyssa incident. Personally, I also believe that her parents wouldn't have let her anywhere near Shin-Ae afterwards.

Hidden behind the large home and private lessons is how neglected Alyssa was. Treated as a trophy to compensate for the eldest daughter being a disappointment to their overbearing father. Living in a home as the trophy daughter with the trophy wife. Alyssa’s statements of wanting to be part of a power couple come from that resentment, the deep desire to not be that kind of submissive, docile woman.

And then in comes Yui - this godlike woman. Mother. Businesswoman. Charitable. Charismatic. Powerful. Married to an honorable man. Promising everything Alyssa needs - love, validation, adoration, success, belonging. Offering Alyssa a chance to shine, compliments, (fake) love, the potential to become powerful and adored like her. And she idolized Yui, so she took the chance.

It was everything Alyssa needed, on a silver platter … until it wasn’t.

Yui knew exactly how to play her. Manipulated a 14 year old girl just like she does everyone. And by the time Alyssa could see any which way, it's already too late. We can see that she's exhausted. Miserable. Isolated. Always 'on.' Always playing her role. Always on high alert, in survival mode. With Yui over her shoulder, groupmates that hate her, having to be dolled up for everyone she meets, no true allies anymore, being watched and exploited at home, at work, at practice, in the dorms, in public, at events - there is truly not a single place Alyssa feels safe, let alone accepted or loved. And yet she can not leave. She can't stop. They won't let her go now. If she were to stop, she'd have to fail . She has never been allowed to fail. Her life now is miserable, but she sees the price of failure as being even worse.

I think that we're going to see Alyssa continue down a dark path. She's never lived in a reality where it feels okay to be herself. She's pushing so much down and trying so hard to become what other people want her to be so that she may finally fit in. Be loved. Feel like she belongs.

Every one time someone says she's doing great it's like a hit for her, but it's so fleeting. So she has to keep chasing it, because she doesn't know where else to get it. But the more she chases it, the farther and farther down a dark path she goes, running after a torch instead of the sun. And the farther she gets, the harder it is to find an exit. So she has to keep chasing the only light she can see and just hope that it gets her somewhere.

Survival & Safety 

In the case of Alyssa, so many people underestimate the effect that an emotionally volatile upbringing can have on you and how you interact with the world. So many people are choosing to ignore that Alyssa is emotionally neglected and likely abused at home. Shin-Ae feels more like the victim to us because we're seeing the story through her eyes and we know that without money you can't physically live, but the thing Alyssa has lacked all her life, the thing that she needs is to feel like she's accepted and loved. That she, herself, is enough.

At the core of all of her actions, beliefs, choices, is one simple fact - Alyssa feels unsafe.

And even Alyssa’s song - she knows full well that she’s trapped now. The imagery points right to Yui. As Alyssa said, she’s not dumb. The entire time that we’ve known Alyssa, she’s known where she stands with Yui. When she talks about Yui at the formal her eyes are closed. The entire time she’s talking about Yui being charitable, nice for giving Shin-Ae a job, not being where she is today without Yui, wanting a mother like her, wanting to be like her. Her eyes only open again when she says she’d love to be part of a power couple. These are all things that Alyssa likely believed about Yui when she first met her, but has since seen the writing on the wall. The savior she ran to in order to escape her unsafe family life turned out to be even worse. And this is even what leads her to Gun Kim in the recent chapters - in the same way she desperately needed to escape her family, now she desperately needs to escape Yui. But since Alyssa doesn't believe in herself, can't let herself shine enough to brave the world and gain control on her own, she needs someone by her side. Needs to be part of a "power couple." This time it's Gun who comes in, the sparkling savior. Except Alyssa does know better this time, we can see that she's uncomfortable around him, that she knows the sparkles fade. But it’s too late now, and Alyssa just hopes to play the game long enough to gain some of her power back.

"Everything will go to waste I’m trying to find my way back But all these red hues keep me locked in place I can stay captive a bit longer So long as I end up on top"

Alyssa has been playing the game because it's the same game she had to play at home. Keep your head down. Do what they say. That way they won't hurt you as badly.

And when we remember that Alyssa's socioeconomic status is closer to Kousuke's than to Shinae's we can understand even more the implications, because it's not just about Alyssa’s weaknesses. It's about how it reflects on her family. Alyssa and Meg act as parallels to Kousuke and Nol, the golden child and the black sheep. Constantly told to not embarrass the family, don't make them look bad, live up to your potential. Nol and Meg are seen as wildcards, burdens, disappointments, people who do not fit the social mold and make everyone's lives more difficult. So Kousuke and Alyssa feel such intense pressure to fit the mold exactly. To never be out of line. To be someone that lives up to their family name. That brings respect. That doesn't cause trouble.

We see this same concept play out in the juxtaposition between the reaction to the girls’ catching Yui’s eye.

When we think about the parallels of Yui swooping in and "stealing away" both Shin-Ae and Alyssa the biggest difference is that Nol could see Shin-Ae, see how miserable she was even if she didn’t explain it to him. And, even then, the only reason even Shin-Ae ever opened up and leaned on people was because she had to. Because Nol had already seen it. He was able to nudge it out of her after seeing her eviction notice and pile of bills. After seeing her so blatantly miserable at the formal. And once someone had seen her weaknesses and supported her, she gradually was able to build back that trust that she spent so long unable to draw upon. But she didn’t start that by choice, she just chose to continue.

While for Alyssa he can’t see it - so much of her misery has been out of his view, she doesn’t open up and lean on people and is so good at putting on her brave face. The more people know your weaknesses, the more they have to use against you, and Alyssa sees so many weaknesses in herself that she can’t trust anyone. Alyssa has been trained all her life to hide anything negative. Never step out of line. Nol was able to see it in Shin-Ae because she’s easier to read, but nobody can see it in Alyssa because she’s been taught how to hide it. Shin-Ae’s biggest strategy for hiding her state was to avoid people - Alyssa is able to hide in plain sight.

Alyssa is always a strong contrast with Shin-Ae, and we can see it throughout the formal. Something so important to this parallel are cut scenes of Alyssa that foreshadow the recent developments we’ve seen of her with the Hiraharas and the Kims.

Such a theme of the night is how lucky Shin-Ae was that Kousuke and Nol didn't have ill intentions around her and were looking out for her. Everyone was looking out for Shin-Ae that night, but no one was looking out for Alyssa. Even her own parents, the people who above all else are supposed to keep you safe, sold her out to the entertainment industry and never looked back. And, to be fair, we come back to her self-fulfilling prophecy - Alyssa is afraid to be herself because she thinks her true self isn’t worthy of love, so she pushes people away, and then has no one. But, at the same time, Shin-Ae has also been pushing everyone away. Nol has to stalk her to gain her friendship, she coldly and pointedly rejects Dieter, she keeps Maya and Rika at arm’s length, she doesn’t tell anyone (even Min-Hyuk) about her problems with her home and her dad. But the difference between Alyssa and Shin-Ae is, in many ways, how well they hid it. With Shin-Ae it was obvious that she was keeping people at arm’s length because she had been hurt. With Alyssa, she’s keeping people away because she’s afraid, but she’s been taught very well how to keep up appearances, so it looks as though she just doesn’t care, that she’s more concerned with herself and her image and her career. So people leave her alone, while they chase after Shin-Ae. While everyone was off chasing Shin-Ae, Alyssa was alone with the elites - no one looking for her, no one caring where she was.

Alyssa is, at her core, so very alone.

Unreliable Narrators & Nolyssa 

One of the most pointed failings of Nolyssa, especially in comparison to Stalkyoo, is how much Nol and Alyssa really don’t know each other at all, despite being more privy to the details of each other’s lives than almost anyone else. Both of them are in survival mode, putting on masks day after day, not letting each other in, seeing each other as something they are so very not with goals and desires that only scratch the surface. On the one hand, neither of them have really put up a fight, but also the circumstances were against them. They weren't in a position to help each other. They were both kids with needs that weren't met trying their best to survive. Children forced into playing an adult’s game.

Nol and Shin-Ae are both unreliable narrators. Shin-Ae actually acknowledges this, specifically in relation to Alyssa, saying that she only ever has her side of the story. In Nol’s case, he sees Yui for what she is, and wants others to see it, too. But he also believes that everything is his fault, that it all stems from his existence, that Yui may be a villain but it’s because of him, not that Yui does what suits her best. And that makes it so hard for him to even begin to guess that Alyssa sees Yui for something else, that Alyssa fell for Yui’s manipulation for reasons that he couldn’t see and that she realized after what had really happened. That she could praise Yui, focus on her career, devote her time to this game, and be lying about it all. He sees that validation seeker and he didn't see beyond it because she didn't let him see anything more than that. He’s good at being able to tell when people are putting up a facade, but not so much why .

Alyssa is so much more complex than just someone seeking validation, and she is meant to make us sit with complex feelings. Meant to make us figure her out, to see beyond our unreliable narrators. To accept that she is more complex despite how negative her interactions with our two most overtly sympathetic characters are. We are supposed to be clued in to her more than they are, to see those things that none of our narrators can see.

Nol states that she knows how his family makes him feel, but does he know his family makes her feel? How this whole game makes her feel? That she wants off this ride but it's too late and she can't do anything?

Ironically, Nol is being used as Alyssa’s protector, but not in any intentional way. Nol said that he tried to steer Alyssa clear of Yui, but honestly it doesn't seem like he really tried. When Shin-Ae gets the invitation to Kousuke's apartment Nol just says that Yui is a nice lady. I think that Nol tries to save people from Yui by encouraging them to appease her and then wean away from her, thinking that as long as they do what she wants Yui won't hurt them. But obviously that's not how Yui works. And, Alyssa fell right into the trap, just like Shin-Ae.

But, where Nol is protecting her is by being the “boyfriend,” protecting her from the predators around her. Even if it's not much, having Nol as a boyfriend keeps those close to the Hiraharas who may try to take advantage of her just a bit more at bay. They can't step on the Hiraharas’ toes. I especially think that now that we've seen more of Alyssa's world, how she got where she is, and what likely lays ahead for her. And, it honestly works well for Alyssa - Nol is respectful, not interested in her, doesn’t push her, she doesn’t have to do anything to appease him, doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Doesn’t even have to pay attention to him (although she should, if even as just a friend). And I think that Alyssa does know this, and that’s part of why she fought so hard when he did for once express his own needs and desires and tried to break it off. I think that, once Nol is gone, it's basically open season on her, and it's going to be so incredibly hard to watch - that fake relationship is probably the final barrier keeping her in some semblance of safe.

But, the thing is, Alyssa's fate isn't Nol's responsibility. Alyssa does not deserve to be preyed upon, but Nol also doesn't deserve to be trapped and suffocated. We can see how much being in this relationship hurts Nol, suffocates him, how it's keeping him on a one-way path to misery. How, as much as she does not deserve what likely lays ahead for her without Nol, he does not deserve what lays ahead for him with Alyssa.

As much as I defend Alyssa, urging people to understand her complexities as a character, how her choices are born out of her own survival mode, how she is falling back on the methods that she learned from her home life were the only way to survive, how she has never felt safe and that leads directly to the choices she makes and how she feels that she does not have a choice at all - Nol is not the one responsible for her path, her choices. Some combination of Alyssa, the adults who failed her, and the adults who groomed her are responsible.

I mentioned earlier how Alyssa ended up here as a fallout of the Shinlyssa event, and that implicates Nol’s position too - both in relation to Alyssa and to Shin-Ae. If Shinlyssa had survived, Stalkyoo would never have been. All of this growth between Nol and Shin-Ae, chasing that future - it never would have happened. It’s even possible Nol wouldn’t be around anymore. Everything is a chain reaction. Sometimes there is no choice where everyone turns out okay. No matter which way it happened, one of them was going to be in a bad place. Which is the same way things are going with the potential ending of Nolyssa. Either Nol suffers or Alyssa is in danger - there's no scenario where they are both okay.

Shin-Ae is likely going to be a foil to Alyssa, and she may watch and have to understand. To see why Shin-Ae is so capable of being what she isn't. That at the end of the day Shin-Ae was always enough. That Alyssa was always enough. How different things would have been if she could’ve accepted herself and stood in that light. That if she could, people will come along who love her for who she is. That there was so much she couldn't see at that time and now it's too late.

Conclusion 

Despite how easy it is to dislike Alyssa, to to write her off as the validation seeker, the bad friend, the self-serving naïve idol - there is so much more to Alyssa to see. The girl seeking to fill that unmet essential need for unconditional love. The girl who has never felt safe. The girl who was never taught how to handle conflict. The girl who is so afraid of herself that she pushes everyone away. Who hides herself so much that no one knows who she really is. Who’s reputation for herself and her family rides on her back. Who is miserable but sees no way out. Who is trapped by choices she made as a child. Who still makes all the wrong choices because she doesn’t see any other way. Who is just as much a victim, desperately trying to survive, as everyone else.

Now she is trapped in this prison, abused and trafficked No way out in sight No one on her side Only empty love and adoration Chasing artificial light, snuffing her own out from fear of those inner truths, never feeling safe, having to keep going to have any hope of getting out but keeping going being so so bad and likely never going to get her there

Above all else I hope that Alyssa can learn to accept herself. That, even if she realizes it far too late, she can see that was all she ever really needed. Because she can’t have that love that she wants while she’s so afraid, so much in hiding, so fearful of the truths within herself that could be revealed if she stands in the light. The thing about Alyssa is that she pushes genuine people away because of this fear. And therein is her self-fulfilling prophecy, but she makes these choices because she doesn’t know what else to do and ends up further and further trapped. I feel an intense sadness for Alyssa as she, like all of our characters, is in survival mode herself and just trying desperately to fill an unmet need.

And, again, it's not about liking or disliking Alyssa. Absolving or convicting her. It's not that simple. As complex as she is as a person, so is her role in the story, her perception within us. But it's about understanding her - who she is, why she makes her choices, how she got here.

I will reiterate again a point from earlier - the people Alyssa hurt are our two main characters. We are supposed to feel a way about that. But so much of the point is about how our emotional reaction to Alyssa isn't all there is. That she’s not any more or less evil just because the people she hurt are the ones we’re emotionally connected to. That she is a person who has her own story, her own motivations, her own mistakes, her own needs, her own fears, her own traumas. Not that it negates the harm, the wrong choices, but just that there is more to it. That we have to be able to examine and sit with our complex feelings towards her.

In the words of Hedy - “I’m a very simple, complicated person.”

And that concludes my full length essay about Alyssa and why I have feelings

#i love yoo #i love yoo webtoon #Alyssa Cho #I love yoo alyssa #ILY Alyssa #ILY #Shinlyssa #I love yoo shinlyssa #ILY Shinlyssa #my writing #I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Alyssa okay #My heart aches for her #She's not perfect and she certainly makes a lot of wrong choices but she's not a villain either

[mattsdollie]

Overacheiver

warnings !!!

arguing, swearing. angsty, use of y/n if you squint, nicknames, tiny bit of fluff at the end :3

tiny plot explanation ! teenage y/n gets in an arguement with her father, shes finally had enough and storms out of the house. she ends up calling matt.

this is my 2nd ever fic i've made if there are any mistakes, please tell me !

WORD COUNT ; 754

y/n is now in her last year of highschool, shes always been an overachiever to try to win her parents' validation, but it just never worked. since she was in 1st grade, she got golden medals, she won spelling bees, she tried her best to get number 1 student in all her classes but she only ever got second place.

now i'm in my last year of school, all these certificates and medals just piling up in my room, yet my parents have never once thought to congratulate me, let alone be proud of me.

9th grade throwback

i get to pick what stream i take for the rest of my life. i've always loved science, but my parents keep pressuring me to take coding and ICT.

"i don't want to do programming, though," i said, tears filling my eyes as my father shouts at me. "i've been working in this industry for years. technology is taking over the world. programming is the future." he said, sternly and coldy, in a loud tone.

i just sigh as i feel the tears drop down my face. knowing i can't do anything to change my future, considering the fact my father wants me to do programming instead of what i love learning, science.

present

it's been an overwhelming weekend. all I've been doing is studying, and every time i come out of my room, my parents just end up screaming at me for not doing all the chores, knowing i have two other brothers who just rot in their rooms all day, playing games with their friends.

i started to dread coming to school, i barely had friends, all my friends had their main friends. sofia has danielle, ariana had emily. me? i had no one, except my boyfriend, matthew sturniolo. he has been by my side since 7th grade. being there for me everytime i had an argument with my father. even though i love him, i felt like i was bothering him, burdening him even, when i texted him to just go out, i felt like i was forcing him.

today, obviously, me and my father had another argument because i wanted to switch classes to an advanced science class. "why, you want to go to that class because all your friends are there isn't it?" he replied to your request, shouting at you for just speaking to him. "my friends?" you say shakily as tears threatened to fall out of your eyes. "*my friends?*" you said again, sternly, and raising your voice, your vision goes blurry from the tears that are overflowing in your eyes. "i barely have friends dad, you really think i want to switch classes because of my 'friends'? i dont have time to make friends." you shouted back at him, tears flowing down your face. your nose, eyes, and ears turning red. "i do everything in my will to try to make you proud and you just treat me like your shitty fucking maid. im so fucking tired." you said, voice hoarse and wobbly from shouting earlier.

you storm out of the room, grabbing your bag that had your phone, wallet, and headphones. you put on a jacket so you don't die from hypothermia, since the weather has been freezing recently.

you've exited your house 30 minutes ago now, trying to get as far away from home as possible. you pull out your phone as you sit at a bus stop. you text matt.

"matt, can you pick me up please?" you press enter, followed by you sending him your location. you put your headphones on, mitski was playing. making you cry even harder.

you feel your phone vibrate, its matt. "im on my way, stay put okay? i love you so much." the message read out. you stare at your phone, as you feel your tears roll down your cheek, to your chin.

"i love you more, matt." you reply.

by now, Matt has already picked you up. You both are lying in his bed. you curl up into a ball and matts arms wrap around you. "You wanna tell me what happened?" matt whispered. you whined, not being able to get over the heated argument with your father. "Okay, pretty girl. i'm gonna get us snacks, and we'll watch a movie, yeah? im sure that will cheer you up." he smiled, giving you a kiss on your temple. "i love you so much," you say, your voice shaky. "i love you more." Matt replied, almost reassuringly.

THE ENDDD !!! the arguement totally were notttt based off the ones i had with my dad 🫡

#chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo x reader #sturniolos #matt sturniolo #chris stur #sturniolo smut #matt x reader #matthew bernard sturniolo #mattsturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x you #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets smut #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #Spotify

[genericpuff]

hey! I’m not sure if you’ve seen this yet, but in regards to RS’s awful layer management, I bring you this from the waybacksmythe insta account!

I’m 99% sure that she’s taught herself to work in this manner for a VERY long time. I mean, there’s barely anything in the main layers that have even MORE layers clipped to them

insanity

yooo thank you for this!

Honestly, I don't think it's that bad when it comes to illustration work, it comes down to just being "use whatever amount of layers you need", and it's clear it worked for her older art. It would be fine for comics as well, but most people naturally opt to reduce the layers they use because it just makes things, well, faster, and less complicated. Not to mention if her layer management is part of the reason her file sizes are ending up absurdly huge, then ??? It seems like a no brainer to reduce them. Esp considering so many of the layers in LO from what I've seen in screenshots just seem so pointless, like hyper-micromanaging levels of pointless.

That said, I think there are a lot of things she's taught herself to do that she just hasn't bothered to unlearn, like she thinks she works "better" doing things this way. Her "time management techniques" that result in her and her team always crunching through the weight of the next deadline, her layering structure, how she manages her assistants, the list goes on. It's like when you're so used to doing something one way, you're convinced it has to be working because otherwise, why would you be doing it that way? It's always "worked" for you up until now, so why change? It's why it's hounded into art students especially to step outside of their comfort zone and try new things because it's only through trying new things that you may learn you've been making things way harder for yourself than you need to.

This might be a bit too psychoanalytical, but we were talking about this very subject in the Discord the other day, and it came up that it's like when someone who's struggling with untreated depression or ADHD says, "I don't want to be medicated, it'll take away my spark!" but their spark is literally not showering for a week and eating nothing but toast and mold growing on the dishes in the sink.

In this case, it feels like Rachel's going "I don't want to change, it'll ruin my work!" but her work is literally already falling apart because she's been sticking to these same work methods that are clearly not working for her.

It makes me think of that one old reel where she talks about how she tried something new that didn't work out and became frustrated over the "lost time".

And I do agree with the advice that she's giving in this video, artists should give themselves the space and time to figure things out, to make mistakes, because it's not lost time, it's time you're spending to try. That time will pass anyways, so use it how you like.

But unfortunately I don't think Rachel is actually good at applying this advice because she hasn't set herself up for success. She's always constantly on an immediate deadline because she never sets herself up with proper buffers. She never made herself a plan in the narrative to get this far so she's constantly jumping between plot points to give herself time to figure out how to resolve them. She can't give herself that free time to figure her shit out because she's constantly wringing out the time she has available to her. Look no further than how much time she traditionally spends on social media, AFAIK it's just her running it meaning she's spending all this time browsing and retweeting that she could be spending getting her ducks in a row.

None of this is to say she isn't allowed to have free time, I think it would be great if she could be an Originals creator who could also manage having a healthy work life balance, god knows so many creators don't get to do that. But it's not free time if you're spending it under the weight of deadlines that are literally a week away. It's just distracting yourself.

Of course, that's all speculative, so I'm not gonna continue on much longer with this train of thought, it's just the impression I get because it's clear she values her time but doesn't know how to manage it properly. I feel that all too well as someone who also struggles with ADHD.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

[varanest]

i'm getting red in the face, you can call me obsessed (héctor bellerín)

a/n: i´ve never been a fan of jealous/possessive behaviour but this idea popped into my head so here´s this. warning: nsfw.

Héctor isn't possessive.

To be possessive, one must have some sort of attachment to another person.

There is no such 'attachment' to Florence. Sure, he knows the precise way to move his tongue inside of her to make her moan, the shape of her hip under his palm when he fucks her so hard they both see stars, and the exact pitch of her voice when she comes, but he's not attached to her. At all.

This is the lie he tells himself.

But Héctor Bellerin, an only child, used to undivided attention, hasn't shared anything in his life.

And he sure as fuck isn't going to start today.

Florence is the only reason he's here, training far later than he has ever willingly stayed at the Ciutat Esportiva.

Tonight, it´s Friday—their night.

The same night he's occupied on her schedule for the last few months, and he'll be damned if it's cancelled on behalf of some random dickhead. He doesn't bother to learn his name, but she just had to stop back by her office for 'a few minutes' that's now lasted nearly an hour because McFuckface decided to show up.

Florence was dressed for him, not the grimy wanker currently leaning over her shoulder, hovering close enough to make Héctor's hand ball into a fist. He asked her to wear something he hadn't seen before, and she didn´t disappoint. The dress makes her ass look fantastic, and the thin straps give him visions of sliding them down the slope of her shoulders with his teeth.

His attention isn't the only one she's managed to grab. And that won't do.

Before he gets ahead of himself and does something rash—like hex the leering bastard so hard he forgets what year it is—Héctor schools his features into the very definition of calm and approaches them.

“Pardon the interruption.”

They both look up. Florence's wearing that squint that's only for him.

She's annoyed.

Good.

So is he.

“Will this take much longer?” He's trying to be polite but even Héctor hears the edge in his voice. “We have a prior engagement.”

“And we have business to tend to before the boss´ audit next week.”

“Is that what you call looking down Florence's blouse and asking stupid questions even an intern could answer for an hour?”

“Héctor!” Florence may glare at him but she tugs at the neckline of her shirt regardless. Good.

“I wasn't—”

“Save it.” Pulling at the cuff of his shirt to keep himself from walking over and knocking his teeth off, he looks right at Florence. “Ready?”

If McFucker's face were any redder, he might mistake the idiot for a tomato. “We're not—”

Héctor clenches his jaw when Florence puts a hand on the twat´s arm.

“It's fine. We'll finish up the report before Monday. I'll email you my findings over the weekend."

The smile on McWanker´s face spreads like slime, slow and slick, as his eyes skim down to her chest, dipping well past the threshold for indecency.

“I look forward to hearing from you, Flo.”

His voice drops lower when he says her name. It sounds far more intimate than it should.

Héctor sees red.

The door to her office hasn't even shut when he grabs her wrist and hauls her into the storage closet. Héctor sure as fuck isn't going to go near any place that cocksucker touched.

“Bellerin!"

Pushing her against the nearest wall, he hauls her skirt up over her hips and presses himself against the length of her back. Florence turns her head, laying her cheek against the wall, and her hair falls over one shoulder.

He can't help but nip at her ear and tug at the lobe until she gasps.

“Do you want anyone else to touch you, Florence?”

Each breath she takes sounds like want, like lust, like need. It's music to his ears but not the song he wants her to sing.

Right now, he wants to hear her scream.

“Answer me.”

“N-no.” She squirms against the wall, rubbing her ass against the placket of his trousers.

He presses harder. Another nip. This time it's her neck his teeth latch onto, and it earns Héctor a louder groan. Better but not quite what he needs to hear from her. Still, he's grinding against her, wanting more but not yet, soothing the sting of his bite with his tongue.

Only to do it again.

Harder.

“Do you want to touch anyone else?”

The next noise he forces from Florence is just what he likes to hear, accompanied by her knees knocking together before he nudges them apart.

More of a nuisance than a decoration, he decides her dress must go. Now.

Héctor can hear her future complaint so he doesn't tear it off, no matter how badly he wants to. He wants to make her squirm, so he relishes each of her little huffs of breath as his fingers slide under the fabric.

“I asked you a question, Florence.”

He pulls the dress off completely before tossing it to the side. She's bare beneath, save for the lacy matching set and thigh-high stockings, and he feels his fists ball at the knowledge that McAsshole had a view of something that is for his eyes only.

“Do you want to touch anyone else?”

“No.”

“Louder.”

“No!”

“Say. It.”

“I don't want to—"

She gasps when he brings the flat of his palm down on her ass—hard.

Hard enough for her to jolt.

Héctor does it again.

Florence presses her forehead against the wall; her low moan sounds like some confluence of pain and pleasure. It blurs his vision, shreds his self-control, and when she arches back against him, he can't be fucked to wait a second longer.

Héctor has never been able to muster more than an ounce of patience in his entire life; he vanishes both his clothes and her matching set, then widens his stance and rocks his hips forward. His cock slides against her ass, and his teeth return to her earlobe.

“Say it like you mean it.”

Her breathy little whimper makes his cock twitch. “I – I don't want anyone else to touch me."

Fisting a hand in her curls, he pulls her head back against his shoulder. “And?”

“I don't want to touch anyone else.” It comes out in a single breath. “Please, please, I just—”

“I know.” He licks a line up the length of her neck. “You've been so good. Let me give you exactly what you need.”

And he does.

No matter how many times they've done this, Héctor can never get enough. Florence's cunt is hot and tight. It squeezes him like it's carved to fit the exact shape of his cock.

Her palms are flat against the wall and his hands wind around her front to squeeze the supple curves of her breasts.  

“Tell me how it feels when I fuck you like this.” He uses his grip as leverage, thrusting deep into her from behind. “Tell me how it feels to have your cunt stuffed so full of my cock you're gagging for air.”

Her answer sounds less like a word than some primal noise. It's obscene and all he can do is fuck her harder, faster—until her moan dies out and all he hears is her ragged breathing. Everything blurs into the sinful rhythm of their frantic fucking as it echoes in the small closet.

Héctor's not ready to come, but fuck if his body agrees.

“Who's going to make you scream, Florence?”

She whines.

He tries to slow down, tries to hold her hips and still her, but Florence is relentless, rocking back against his cock, demanding his release with every movement.

“Tell me who is going to make you come?”

Whatever control he has left is obliterated when she moans his fucking name.

Florence presses back and angles her hips, drawing him deeper, sinking to the hilt before moving in sharp circles. She's killing him and she fucking knows it, given the way she glances over her shoulder before pressing her cheek against the wall.

“Tell me you're mine.”

Curling his hands around her hips hard enough to bruise, he thrusts once, twice, and sinks his teeth into her neck the third time as he feels her cunt flutter around his cock.

“I - I´m yours.”

He can't stop himself from coming.

꒰ 🍒 ꒱  

Héctor doesn't like waking up alone when he knows damn well he didn't go to sleep like that.

His irritation spikes again when he spots Florence on his couch with a stack of papers and a pencil between her lips. She's dressed, and the only reason he doesn't complain further is because she's in one of his old Arsenal jerseys.  

No matter how enticing the sight of her in his clothes is, it isn't enough for Héctor to change his mind as he (not) accidentally spills the contents of her tea all over the papers she had on the coffee table.

Florence is on her feet within a second; her hair is wild and her eyes are murderous. “What the fuck was that, Bellerin?"

He smiles.

“The only thing on your agenda today is me. Let McDumbass figure out his own part of the group project. Something tells me you've done more than your fair share already."

“You're a menace. I needed—”

“Don't worry your pretty little head, Florence. I made duplicates last night while you were searching for the panties I had saved in my pocket.”

“That's what happened to them?" Florence's fists curl at her side. "Really, Bellerin?”

“As far as I'm concerned, you won't need them for the rest of the weekend. ”

“Oh?”

“I know you only penciled me in for Friday, but I've taken the liberty of blocking off your time until Monday morning.”

“Is that so? Florence bites her lip and looks up at him. “And how do you know I don't have a date or something?”

Héctor reminds himself that he isn't possessive, but the lie twists tight in his chest. “Because you're mine.”

When she smiles into his kiss, he doesn't need confirmation to know it's true.

a/n: as always, feedback and comments are greatly appreciated. you can read the rest of my works here. i´ve also been struggling a lot lately, so a friend of mine gave me the idea to set up a ko-fi. if you want to, you can send me a ko-fi here. 🫶🏻💘

#hector bellerin #hector bellerin imagine #hector bellerin fanfiction #hector bellerin x reader #football imagine #football fanfiction #football oneshot

[henrioo]

CIS PEOPLE CANNOT DECIDE THE PARAMETERS FOR SOMEONE TO BE TRANS OR NOT

I'M FUCKING TIRED OF A CIS COMING TO ME AND SAYING I'M NOT A MAN BECAUSE I HAVE LONG HAIR, BECAUSE I LIKE DRESSES OR HIGH HEELS

THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE AND I WILL CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE IT, I WILL CHOOSE HOW I WANT TO BE IDENTIFIED, I HAVE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE, NOT YOU

After this scream I'm going to vent a little because even though I'm a hard rock to break, it doesn't mean that things don't affect me

If they don't hurt me anymore, it will be very difficult for you to hurt me, you know, especially about my trans experience. It's hard enough to offend me, so getting hurt is even harder

But it doesn't mean it doesn't affect me, and it affects and affects me, frustrating me, making me mad at a level where I often question how someone is so stupid

There's this woman (cis straight) and we were from a common group and we became friends, everything was fine, we had similar tastes, etc

But she did something that really irritated me, which was writing Mpreg, if you don't know why this is transphobic, etc. I genuinely don't feel like explaining now, but feel free to send me a message and I'll explain it better later and no, it's not necessarily forbidden to write Mpreg because of this, ok? It's more complicated than it looks

But I ignored it and like I said, mpreg is transphobic but being a writer or artist who uses it doesn't make you one, it's different, you know

But I started to notice the signs, one of the first was how she REFUSED to write trans men when it came to mpreg, she said she simply didn't like it and felt it wasn't her style, She also said that she would much rather have men giving birth through the ass than using a natural biological process that is men giving birth through a vagina

You may not see transphobia in this but it's fucking weird

And then I also started to realize that she was strangely obsessed with gay ships, to the level of just liking them and refusing to imagine them with women or accept other couples

It was also very strange that she EXCLUSIVELY liked gay couples, seriously, both the extreme of only liking LGBT couples and only liking straight couples is problematic, ok?

And now I found out that she also came up with this talk about Yamato being a woman, and I just started to get pissed off because it wasn't just like, oh that's my opinion, She spoke in a way that was like, this is a fucking truth and if you don't believe it, you're seeing something that isn't there

AND HOLY SHIT, WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WANTING TO DICTATE WHAT MAKES SOMEONE BE TRANS OR NOT???

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT A CHARACTER IS NOT TRANS WHEN YOU ARE A FUCKING CIS??? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE TRANS

And all her arguments were bullshit about Yamato only being inspired by Oden, what a holy shit it already happened, right, use a real argument, holy shit

I'm just fucking tired of people like this

People who aren't even trans thinking they know what it's like to be trans, who know how trans people manifest themselves and expose themselves

No, no, Yamato took showers with men because he likes Luffy, ahem, of course that was it

No, no, Yamato continued using male pronouns even after saying he no longer wanted to be Oden due to Oda's mistake, of course

No, no, Yamato being called son by Kaido himself which only shows that his father knew and supported, besides showing the rest of the world calling him daughter is not a parallel for trans people who are in the closet and can only come out to their parents and sometimes not even that, Of course not, Oda would never think of that pfft

I'm tired, tired of seeing stupid people, because seriously, a person is not stupid because they don't know something, a person is stupid because they refuse to learn something

And transphobes and homophobes are the stupidest people on the face of the earth because they will always refuse to learn

And besides being funny, it's kind of sad, because they never keep it to themselves, they always need to attack others to prove it

Well I never think anyone reads my huge posts but I like to vent on them because I like tumblr

So my dear trans colleague, don't be discouraged, don't be afraid, don't give up

Because you are a star that will still shine brightly in this sky and these idiots will be far below you, millions of light years away, seeing only an illusion of your light, because you will be so badass and so brilliant, that they won't be able to come close to admire your true light

#one piece #henri talk #onepiece #yamato is trans #one piece yamato #fuck transphobes #transgender #transisbeautiful #transmasc #lgbtqia #trans community #im furious #fuck cis people

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Endure X: Jealousy

Series Synopsis: You and Eren Jaeger have been best friends since the age of two, but the two of you are destined for an inevitable tragedy. The world you have been born into is cruel; it is one where friends are traitors and enemies are allies, one where you find yourself doubting everything you've ever known. In this life, mistakes are fatal, and you must be careful, lest you make one too many.

Chapter Synopsis: As you progress in your training, you find yourself beginning to fall for someone. Eren is jealous, and Tullia, Mikasa, and Sasha are forced to intervene.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Female Reader, Armin Arlert x Female Reader

Chapter Word Count: 5.1k

Content Warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, sexual abuse (non-explicit), major character death, angst, original characters included

“Wanna spar?” You had been exchanging intense eye contact with Tullia, trying to convince her to be your sparring partner, since you were not particularly looking forward to having to fight people. You knew that with her, you could easily slack off. Because of this, you had not seen Reiner Braun approaching you until he tapped your shoulder and asked to spar with you.

“Oh, Reiner! Um, well, I guess so,” you said, not wanting to be rude. You gave Tullia an apologetic look, but she just shrugged and went to find Jean, who also did not have a partner yet. He seemed surprised that she had asked him, but, with a side look at you, accepted.

Ever since that day in the bathroom, you and him had been friends of a sort. Neither of you would ever willingly sit with the other at lunch or anything, but there was a kind of mutual respect that had formed between you. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

“Are you any good at hand-to-hand combat?” Reiner said, giving you the wooden knife and getting into position. You laughed and shook your head.

“No, I’ve never really had the chance to learn or anything. So no need to go all out against me,” you said, pointing the wooden knife at him mock-threateningly. He put his hands up innocently.

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you charge first, too. Just to be more fair, yeah?” he said. You gave him a small smile.

“Very sweet of you, Reiner, thanks,” you said, preparing to charge at him. He gave you a grin and ran his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, I’m a real — oof!” he cut off as you rammed into his stomach, knocking him to the ground. You gave him a wide-eyed look.

“I can’t believe that worked!” you said, reaching out your hand to help him up. He took your hand, but instead of using it to stand, yanked your into the dirt beside him before rolling over and pinning you.

“Never expect a fight to be over just because your opponent’s on the ground,” he instructed, sitting with his knees on either side of your waist and using one hand to hold both of your wrists together above your head. With his other hand, he plucked the wooden knife from your grasp and pressed it against your throat. You tried to escape his grip, thrashing as hard as you could, but it was futile. He had caught you, and you were helpless. Struggling just made him clamp down harder, so with a defeated sigh, you went limp.

“Fine, you win,” you said, closing your eyes and waiting for him to get off. When he didn’t, you opened your eyes to glare at him. He only smirked.

“Come on, you can’t give up that easily! Fight back!” he encouraged you.

“Tried that already. Did not work,” you informed him. He leaned down until the tips of your noses were almost brushing.

“Try harder,” he whispered, digging the edge of the blade into the delicate skin of your neck.

“Reiner, please get off. I cannot, physically cannot, fight back. Isn’t it smart to know when to accept your losses?” you said, looking into his wolfish amber eyes, filled with some unidentifiable emotion. He shrugged from atop you.

“Maybe, but I’ve never been one to know when I’ve lost. I just keep pushing forwards until the day that I can say, without a doubt, that I’ve won,” he said.

“Well, you’ve won, so you don’t need to keep pushing forwards,” you said, trying to squirm out of his hold. He did not budge.

“Is that really all you’ve got?” he said.

“Yes? I’ve been telling you that for the past five minutes,” you said, rolling your eyes. Somehow, he leaned in even farther, until he was so close that if either of you shifted even a little, your lips would brush. It was dangerous. It was wrong. It sent a thrill through you, a rush of heat, a shiver of anticipation.

“You’ve got more. I know you do,” he said.

“Yeah?” you said breathily, feeling dizzy from his proximity to you. Before he could respond, he was thrown off of you. Mikasa looked like some sort of avenging angel, her eyes dark with rage and a fierce scowl on her kind features. You could not help the disappointment coursing through your veins, though you did not know why you would be disappointed. You had wanted Reiner off of you, hadn’t you?

“Sorry I wasn’t faster, Y/N. I got distracted,” she said, helping you stand and brushing you off before checking you over for injuries.

“It’s alright, Mikasa, I was fine,” you said.

“Really?” she said dubiously.

“Yeah, it’s all good. Reiner was just teaching me about combat,” you said. She raised one perfect eyebrow.

“Is that so? Please, do tell me what teaching he was accomplishing by trying to kiss you,” she said.

“He was not doing anything of the sort! He was just telling me I should keep fighting and stuff. You know, basic encouragement,” you said, your face burning as you avoided Reiner’s gaze.

“Basic encouragement. Well, pinning your opponent to the ground and then proceeding to nearly kiss them isn’t a method I’ve ever heard of, but whatever works, I guess,” she said with a derisive snort.

“Stop, Mikasa, you’re being embarrassing,” you said, going over to pull Reiner to his feet. This time, he took your hand without ulterior motives, merely getting up beside you. Mikasa shot him a nasty glare, and he immediately let go. You found yourself wishing he had kept holding it.

“Mikasa! There you are! I was wondering where you went!” Sasha said, appearing and skidding to a stop beside the taller girl, whose face softened as she blushed.

“Hey, Sasha. Just had to deal with some issues,” Mikasa said, giving you and Reiner one last glance. Sasha noticed you and waved brightly, unaware of the tension between the three of you at the current moment.

“Y/N! Reiner! How are you guys?” she said.

“Doing good, Sasha. What about you?” you said.

“Spending time with Mikasa, so overall I can’t complain! Mika’s my new best friend, aren’t you?” she said, throwing her arm around Mikasa, who cleared her throat and crossed her arms.

“Yes. We are best friends,” she said. Sasha beamed.

“Aww, Mikasa, I thought we were best friends,” you said with a frown.

“I can have multiple. Now, I’ll leave you two to it, but Reiner, if I see you continuing to bother her, I’m going to beat you so hard, you’ll wish you were dead. But I won’t grant you that mercy. Instead, I’ll give you just enough time to heal before repeating the process, so that you are stuck in a constant limbo of agony and suffering until the end of your days. Don’t try and think about going unconscious, either. I’ll bring smelling salts with me,” Mikasa said.

“Noted,” Reiner squeaked out. You patted him on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Reiner, I won’t let her do that,” you said.

“Promise?” he said. It was strange to see the older boy so scared, but such was the effect Mikasa had on people. Ever since that day, so long ago, when she had killed the final kidnapper, something in her had snapped. She was no shy wallflower. She was quiet, true, but deadly, an ambush predator, as much a tiger as the stuffed animal she still kept with her.

“As long as you don’t actually bother me, yeah. But I, uh, didn’t mind earlier,” you said, biting your lip nervously. Reiner let out a low chuckle.

“Is that so?” he said.

“Maybe,” you said. He twirled the knife in his hand in a move dripping with casual arrogance and grace.

“Well,” he said, stalking towards you with a feral grin, “All you had to do was say something.”

As you and Reiner continued to spar, mostly ending up with you under him and him reprimanding you for something or another, you became aware of the prickling, uncomfortable sensation of a pair of eyes watching you.

Reiner began to lecture you about distractions, and ironically, as he did so, you became distracted, trying to find who was staring at you. It was not Mikasa, surprisingly. She was watching Sasha explain something. Tullia and Jean were busy “sparring,” although it mostly looked like shy, awkward flirting to you.

“Wow, Eren, you’re good at this!” Marco said as he was tossed into the ground. Despite the rough way Eren had literally just thrown him, he was still positive, springing to his feet to congratulate his partner, who was not even looking at him.

Your eyes met Eren’s, and you were surprised at the sharp rage in them as he glared at you. It was like he was cutting into you with his gaze. The contrast between this and the soft way he had looked at you on that roof in Trost was immense. You wondered what you had done wrong, but before you could think to ask, Reiner gently grabbed your jaw and turned your head to look back at him.

“Hey, I was just telling you not to be distracted, silly. Focus on me,” he said. That strange feeling in your stomach formed again, and you nodded submissively.

“Right, sorry,” you said, though you could not help but sneak one last glance at Eren. He noticed and scowled before turning away. You frowned in confusion and hurt before returning to Reiner, who had given you the knife again and was readying himself for you to charge at him.

“He didn’t bother you the rest of training, right?” Mikasa said, immediately swooping upon you as soon as sparring was over.

“He was fine. Hey, Eren, you good? You looked pretty mad earlier,” you said as you and Mikasa walked over to where he was putting away his knife. He gave you a tight smile.

“Perfectly okay. Are you guys ready for lunch?” he said, grabbing your hand and holding it in a near death-grip. You gave him a startled look at the display before brushing it off. If holding your hand made him feel better, well, you were hardly going to stop him.

“I am!” Sasha said.

“Where do you keep coming from?” you said. This was the second time she had seemingly manifested from thin air. She gave you a bright smile and wink.

“I’ve been here the whole time! Mikasa is so tall you can’t see me behind her,” she explained. You looked at Mikasa, who was, indeed, tall, and decided Sasha was probably right.

“That makes sense. Hey, speaking of Mikasa, we should have a girls’ night! The two of you, Tullia, and I. It would be so fun!” you said.

“Can I come?” Eren said.

“Eren, normally a girls’ night means only girls are attending,” Mikasa reminded him.

“You can have a boys’ night with Armin, Reiner, and Bertholdt,” you suggested. Eren thought about this for a second.

“Yeah, maybe, I guess,” he said, “But you guys will probably have more fun.”

“True!” Sasha chirped, “Guess you were born the wrong gender!”

“Better luck next time,” you said, patting him on the head with your free hand. He pouted but did not argue, perhaps knowing there was no point. You and Mikasa used to have frequent girls’ nights back in Shiganshina, sometimes even in his own house. He hadn’t been allowed to attend then, and he certainly wouldn’t be allowed now.

Though the Mess Hall was as packed as usual, everyone mostly stuck to their tables, which meant your usual seats were free. You sat as you normally did: Eren at the end of the table, you on his left, Mikasa across from you, Armin across from Eren, and...well, Tullia was normally in between Mikasa and Armin, but as of right now, she was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Tullia?” Armin said, reading your mind.

“I think she took my seat!” Sasha said, pointing over at where Tullia sat next to Connie and across from Jean.

“You can take hers, Sasha, no big deal,” Eren said.

“Great, thanks guys!” Sasha said, squeezing in between Mikasa and Armin.

“Whose turn is it to get lunches today?” Mikasa said. You had a system where two of you would get meals for the rest of the table, with a whole schedule set up to ensure that it was fair and everyone had equal turns in the rotation. You did it in such a way in order to cut down on the length of the lines where the food was distributed.

“It was supposed to be Tullia and Eren, but since Tullia isn’t here...Sasha can go or someone can volunteer to take her shift,” Armin said, pulling out the piece of paper that had the master schedule on it.

“I’ll go,” you immediately said. If Sasha went, there was a good chance she’d end up eating everyone else’s lunches on the way back to the table.

“Sounds good. Make sure to get me the soup without carrots, please,” Mikasa said.

“Of course. Can’t have you getting an allergic reaction,” you said with a nod. Mikasa had discovered she was deathly allergic to carrots early on in your training, and ever since then, the cooks had made sure to make two variants of each dish: one with carrots and one without.

“I saw you beating up Marco during sparring. He’s a nice guy, you know. No need to go that hard!” you said with a laugh as you got into line with Eren. He gave you a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I just get carried away a little sometimes,” he said. You smiled and flicked him on the forehead.

“I know. I’ve seen some of the bruises you gave to poor Oskar,” you said, remembering your days back in Shiganshina and how Eren had mercilessly beaten the rude boy.

“Okay, but he deserved it. You’ve gotta admit to that much, at least,” he said, grabbing a couple of trays and beginning to load the bowls of soup onto them. You did the same with a nod.

“Agreed, but we’re not in Shiganshina anymore. You don’t need to hurt anybody. We’re all friends here,” you said.

“I know, I know,” he said.

“Speaking of friends...Reiner!” you said as you passed by where the blond boy was sitting with Bertholdt. He immediately straightened when he saw you, giving you a wide grin.

“Y/N! Long time no see, huh?” he said. You giggled shyly.

“It’s been a bit,” you said.

“And how have you been in the ten minutes since we saw each other last?” he said.

“Prettyyy good,” you said, drawing out the last syllables of each word and batting your eyelashes at him. If possible, his grin grew bigger, and a light blush formed on his cheeks.

“Good to hear. Say, I was wondering if you —”

“Come on, Y/N. The soup’s getting cold,” Eren interjected, glaring at Reiner, who seemed taken aback by his hostility. You were similarly surprised. On the whole, Eren quite liked Reiner, so to see him being rude to the older boy was out of character indeed.

“Yeah, I guess it is. See you later, Reiner!” you said before turning to Eren as soon as you were out of Reiner and Bertholdt’s earshot, “That was silly of you.”

“What was?” he said, giving you a faux-innocent look. You nudged him in the side with your elbow, since both of your hands were full with food for your friends.

“Being snippy with Reiner,” you said.

“I wasn’t being snippy with him. I was just reminding you that we have friends that need their soup,” he said. You shook your head in amusement at his obvious denial.

“Whatever, Eren. You know you’re still my best friend, right? I’m not replacing you with Reiner or anything,” you said. He smiled at this.

“Yeah, I know,” he said as you sat down, passing out food to everyone.

Despite the fact that he claimed he knew that you were best friends above all else, Eren was still overwhelmingly clingy the entire rest of lunch. If his hand was free, it was holding yours. As soon as he was finished inhaling his food, his head was resting on your shoulder, soft hair tickling against your neck as you ate.

“What’s gotten into you?” you said as he began to doze off.

“I’m tired and you're comfortable,” he said.

“Alright, then,” you said dubiously. If you had been a little more observant, you would’ve seen the way the Reiner’s eyes widened upon noticing you, or the smirk Eren flashed towards him at this development, but you were too focused on the story Sasha was regaling you all with to care.

After lunch, you were going to start with the most exciting part of military training, in your opinion at least: horse riding. You would be assigned your horses and, if you became Scouts, would get to keep them for the entirety of your career. If not, they would be sent to the Scouts without you as backups in case something went wrong on an expedition (and it almost always did).

“Do you think we’ll get to name them?” Connie said as you walked towards the stables.

“I hope so! I already have an awesome name picked out!” Tullia said.

“What?” Jean said.

“Jean,” she said seriously. You snickered, both at the name and at the horrified look on the boy’s face.

“You wouldn’t,” Jean said.

“I might,” she said.

“Cheer up, Jean. This is a good thing! She’s saying she likes you so much she wants to name her horse after you!” Marco said halfheartedly, though he was not fooling anyone.

“Don’t worry, Jean, I think that horseface of yours is very handsome,” Tullia said before immediately turning bright red, her jaw dropping and her eyes widening at her audacity. Jean had a similar reaction, though you had a feeling that it was because he did not know how to react to compliments, especially not compliments from the girl he had a crush on.

“CADETS!” Commandant Shadis bellowed. You all paused your banter to salute at him. He nodded at you in approval before turning to his assistant, the woman that had been your examiner during the aptitude testing.

“We will be assigning everyone their horses today! Then you will partner up and help each other adjust to riding,” she said.

Though most of the horses were a plain yet rich chocolate brown color, you and Krista both got white ones, and Tullia got a chestnut. Eren’s horse was a very dark brown, nearly black but not quite, and Armin’s had a wide white blaze on her face.

“Buchwald! I’m naming you Buchwald!” Jean said in delight, patting his horse on the neck. The horse did not seem to mind this name, perhaps recognizing Jean as one of his own species. You would not be surprised.

“Juan,” Tullia decided, smirking and kissing her fiery-colored horse on the muzzle. Jean made a noise that was between a gasp and a shriek of offense at the name, but Tullia raised an eyebrow at him, quieting him immediately.

“What do you think of Tyrant?” Eren asked you.

“That’s a really cool name. I’m naming mine Mage,” you said, stroking the white horse on the face. She began to chew on your hair in content, and you halfheartedly tried to push her away.

“Do you want to be my partner, Y/N?” Reiner said, coming up beside you, holding his horse’s reins in one hand and giving you an expectant look.

“No, we’re going to be partners, right?” Eren said emphatically.

“Uh —”

“She can answer for herself,” Reiner said, cutting you off smoothly.

“She’s my partner already,” Eren said, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“I’m, uh, going to go be with Connie,” you said, leading Mage after you in search of the boy with the close-cropped hair. Though you two were not close, you always enjoyed hanging out with him. His energy and humor were delightful, and it would be a nice break from the drama of Eren and Reiner.

Thankfully, he had not partnered up with anyone yet, and he was more than delighted to pair up with his “wife.” You gave him a leg up before using a tree stump to swing into Mage’s saddle. It was a strange sensation at first, but once you adjusted, you found you rather liked it.

“Yo! Mrs. Springer!” Connie said, halting beside you once you had settled in the saddle.

“Yes, Mr. Springer?” you said. He gave you a wide grin.

“Let’s race!” he said, taking off before you even had the chance to respond. You watched him go in awe.

“So much for being partners with Connie,” you muttered as he vanished into the distance.

“Did he ditch you?” Armin said, a soft, fond smile on his face as took Connie’s spot next to you.

“Yup. Asked me if I wanted to race and then left before I could even respond,” you said with a laugh, “No clue where he is. He could be all the way in Karanes District at this point, honestly.”

“I can be your new partner, if you want,” he suggested.

“Sounds good. No racing?” you said.

“No racing,” he agreed.

You and Armin walked around the perimeter of the field you were practicing in, allowing your horses to stretch their necks down as you talked about random things. You took the time to observe how everyone else was doing.

Connie had returned and was now involving poor Marco in his schemes, galloping around wildly as the freckled boy chased after him. Mikasa and Sasha had had a similar idea to you and Armin, relaxing on horseback as they chatted. Tullia was either making fun of or complimenting Jean, judging by how red his face and ears were. Eren and Reiner were glaring at each other.

“What’s up with those two?” you said, pointing at them. If anybody had a chance of knowing, it was quiet, observant Armin who shared a dorm with them and knew Eren better than anyone, bar you.

“Jealousy, I think,” he said.

“Really? But they’re so close, almost like siblings. You think jealousy could cause them to fight?” you said. Armin shrugged.

“Well, you forget that siblings often fight as it is. And yes, for what it’s worth, I do think jealousy could motivate them to be angry at each other. It’s a strong emotion, and if my hunch is right, they have a valid reason to fight. They’re upset because they both want the same thing, and it’s a pretty damn great thing,” he said.

“What is it?” you said. Armin gave you a secretive smile.

“I can’t tell you that. I’m sure one day, you’ll find out.”

You had not had a girls’ night in a while, so when Mikasa and Sasha entered you and Tullia’s room, wearing their pajamas and with hairbrushes in hand, you felt excitement creeping over you. You had missed this, missed the way it felt to just be with your friends and relax and not have to worry about jealousy or fighting or anything dumb like that.

“I can’t braid your hair anymore, Mikasa,” you said with a frown as you combed your fingers through her short, silky hair.

“Sorry, Y/N,” she said, and you could tell she was genuinely sad.

“You can braid mine!” Sasha volunteered.

“Thanks, Sash!” you said, “Okay, sit in between my legs and turn around.”

“Ooh, I’ll do yours!” Tullia said.

“Yeah, and I can do yours, Tullia, since nobody can do mine,” Mikasa offered.

“YES!” Sasha cheered as you got into position for the braiding train. For a while, you all were silent, focused on your tasks completely, until Tullia broke the silence.

“We should play Truth or Dare,” she said. You took a hair tie and tied off one of the fishtail braids you had done on Sasha before starting the other.

“Sounds fun,” Mikasa said, “Who wants to go first?”

“It was Tullia’s idea,” you said. The girl was currently making some elaborate braided chignon out of your hair, leaving a few delicate pieces out to frame your face.

“Excellent,” Tullia said, and you could almost feel the vicious smirk on her face, “You’ve fallen right into my trap. Y/N, truth or dare?”

“I have a bad feeling about this. Truth,” you said.

“Aww, boo. Okay, do you have a crush on someone?” she said.

“That was lame!” Sasha said.

“Yeah, nothing more creative than that? Petra would be disappointed,” you said.

“Answer the question,” she snapped, pulling on your hair a little too harshly. You yelped.

“Fine! Uh, Reiner’s kind of nice, I guess,” you said. Everyone was silent for a second before they all, in unison, screamed at you.

“REINER?”

“Sina, deafen me, why don’t you? Yes, Reiner. Reiner Braun,” you said, covering your ears, though it was a bit too late for that.

“She’s still in denial, then. I thought after everything that happened after the fall of Wall Maria, she’d figure it out, but here we are,” Mikasa said.

“I almost feel bad. I mean, this is embarrassing on her part!” Sasha said.

“She’s projecting onto Reiner at the moment, but we all know what’s going to end up happening,” Tullia assured everyone.

“Huh? What are you guys talking about?” you said.

“Just how it’s so obvious you and Eren have something going on, you’re just too blind to realize it,” Sasha said casually.

“What? That’s not true! Mikasa, tell her it’s not true!” you said indignantly.

“Oh, it’s so true. It’s been like that for as long as I can remember. You’re best friends with Armin and I. You’re something more than that with Eren, and no, I do not mean mega best friends,” Mikasa said, like the traitor she was. You scowled, though you could not move lest you mess up Tullia’s hard work.

“Y/N, tell me, honestly. That day on the roof...did nothing happen between you two? If not, then we’ll believe you when you say that you and him are just friends. If so, well, there’s your answer,” Tullia said. They all waited expectantly as you cast about for something to say.

The rooftop. You wondered what could’ve happened if the MP hadn’t interrupted you. You had been caught in some kind of daze, drunk on Eren’s presence, on the way he looked at you. You didn’t know if you would’ve been able to stop yourself if you had shifted only another few inches closer.

It had been different than it had with Reiner earlier today. Reiner had been just as close if not closer to you than Eren had been that day, but while kissing Reiner would have been a choice, kissing Eren felt like a compulsion. Eren was magnetic, drawing you in ever closer, like it was some law of nature that you ought to be together.

And this scared you. Eren was your best friend. What kind of monster were you? What kind of person fell in love with their best friend? Was this even love, or was it something else? It felt like love. It looked like love. It must be love, but you didn’t understand it, didn’t understand how it could’ve happened. When had you fallen in love with him? Or had you never fallen in love with him at all? Because this was the truth of the matter: you had been born in love. Loving him was as easy as if you had done it before, like it was some deep-rooted instinct of yours — love Eren Jaeger.

“No. Like he said, we just talked. Nothing happened between us. Nothing at all.”

Whether or not your friends believed you, they did not bring it up again. You all continued to play the game, laughing increasingly harder at the wild things you dared each other to do. Mikasa confessed her crush on Sasha, Tullia somehow managed to sneak into the boys’ barracks and draw a moustache on Bertholdt without getting caught, and you wrote an anonymous love note to the Commandant.

Finally, you all fell asleep. Mikasa and Sasha cuddled together on the bottom bunk, and you and Tullia took the top, a pillow in between you to ensure you didn’t kick each other or anything in your sleep. Your stomach hurt from laughing, and though you were exhausted, you could not sleep.

“You’re still up,” Tullia said after a few minutes.

“Yeah, I am,” you said, wondering why she had said anything.

“I know you were lying earlier,” she said, “I’ve known you long enough to know what your tells are. Your ears turn red when you lie.”

“And they were red?”

“As red as Juan’s coat.”

You rolled over to face the wall, signifying the end of your conversation, though Tullia did not take the hint. You covered your head with your pillow to muffle her words, but it wasn’t enough, because it was no longer just her speaking but your own subconscious as well.

“You can pretend and lie all you want, but in the end, it’s only going to hurt you more. If you lose him without telling him how you really feel, it’s going to kill you inside. And what if he moves on? What if he finds another girl?”

At your silence, she scoffed. You heard the sheets rustle as she turned over, though she managed to get one final thing in before you both drifted off.

“If you really like Reiner, I’ll support you, but I think you need to reflect on which one makes you truly, genuinely happy, because that’s what you deserve and nothing less. Don’t worry about hurting anybody’s feelings — that’s inevitable. Just...make the right choice, okay?”

“Thanks, Tullia,” you said quietly, “I’ll try.”

But you did not try. As your training went on, you avoided the question completely, choosing to remain just friends with both boys and ignoring the heartache you felt when you looked at Eren, because who were you to jeopardize everything you had? So you pined for him from afar, found relief in soft brushes of hands and friendly hugs and legs pressed against one another in the Mess Hall.

As Tullia had warned you, one day you would come to regret this decision. And you were no stranger to regret, but this time hurt the most of all, because it was regret and guilt and grief all wrapped into one horrible, terrible stab in the heart.

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#eren x reader #armin x reader #eren x you #armin x you #eren x y/n #armin x y/n #reader insert #canon au #endure #m1ckeyb3rry writes

[crazypaperwasteland]

How Geralt Lost Her-Part One

Summary: Geralt unknowingly hurt the person he loved most, leaving her feeling unwanted and forgotten by the people she cared for. Will he ever be able to make it up to her? Or will she leave him and never come back?

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Just a lot of sadness and Yennefer being a bitch (no hate to her, I love her. But in this story, she’s a bitch)

A/N: Just as a reminder, up until this post reaches 50 likes, Part Two will not be posted. Again, sorry about that. 

Masterlist

Part 2 (Link will be attached when it’s posted)

I could see that she had Geralt under her spell from the moment he saw her. It was fine, I knew what she meant to him, I knew that he loved her. He’d told me as much, he told me that she was dead too, and that a part of him would always love her. I was fine with that. The one thing I wasn’t fine with was the way that Yennefer looked at Ciri, I could tell that Ciri was uncomfortable as well. 

It made my blood boil. I could also see how Yennefer looked at me when Geralt turned his back, she tried to hide it, but she saw me as a threat. She’d been teaching Ciri witchcraft, in ways that I couldn’t teach her, and it seemed that she believed she was superior to me because she spent a lot of time with Ciri. I knew about Yennefer’s infertility, I knew that she had spent decades trying to have a child of her own. I also knew that she saw Ciri as a surrogate for that loss, that void she felt inside of herself. 

For weeks, we’d been on the road, after Ciri’s little spill at Kaer Morhen. After learning about Yennefer’s betrayal, Geralt had been giving her the cold shoulder and really only talking to me, Ciri and Jaskier, albeit very little. Geralt seemed to think that he could just come running back to me when his first relationship was at odds with him. I, however, was not content with that little arrangement. So I would sleep near Jaskier, if Geralt set his bedroll down next to mine, I would move away from him and go over to Ciri. The poor man looked so confused. But I was not a toy, I wouldn’t play that game. 

I never intended to let anyone in on the way I was feeling. Betrayed, forgotten, lonely, upset. However, eventually those things boil over. Especially with me. Yennefer was skilled in magic, there was no doubt about it. She’d singlehandedly turned the tide at Sodden with all of her flames and had not lost her life. But I was different. Once upon a time, I’d been at Aretuza, long after she’d left. 

The mages of Aretuza were fearful of her because of how she’d weaponized flames at Sodden, but when they heard of my abilities, they were even more terrified. There would always be mages who were unlike others, who had greater limits than average humans. I was one of them. A woman with an affinity for fire, I used it everyday, I felt it rising up my throat like bile everyday, fighting to shove it back down everyday. 

This day was one of the harder ones. Yennefer had put Ciri in danger. We had come across a monster, another monster after Ciri. While Geralt was incapacitated, Yennefer had tried to portal. But her magic was still…finicky. She had taken Ciri in her arms, trying to protect her, when in reality she’d opened a portal right into the creature’s path and nearly gotten Ciri snatched up into its jaws. 

It took a split second for me to burn it into a crisp from the inside out. The work wasn’t the problem. The problem was that Yennefer had put Ciri in danger again. And I felt the familiar burn of fire in my stomach, rising up my throat as if I could spew it at her like my poisonous words. 

Ciri had gone to check on Geralt, who was unconscious after being thrown into a tree and hitting his head, Jaskier went with her. “Do you realize that Ciri could have died just then?”

Yennefer glared at me while rubbing her arms, “yes.”

“She would have died all because of your mistake,” I knew Yennefer felt guilty, I could tell, but everything I’d been feeling was coming out now. The hatred I had for her ran deep, because she thought that she could steal everything from me. My best friend, my lover, my child. 

“You think I don’t know that?” Yennefer snapped, her eyes blazing. 

I felt heat rising in my clenched fists, “if you had simply left it to me, that thing would have been a pile of ashes in a moment. Instead you left me to knock you and Ciri out of the way because you decided you wanted to portal. You decided you wanted to test out your shaky magic when Ciri’s life was in danger!”

“I was trying to protect her!”

“No, you were trying to play house,” I shouted back, stepping up until there was no space between us. “Like you’ve been doing ever since you got here. Happy little family. Mother, father, daughter. With you as the dutiful wife.”

“That’s what this is about?” Yennefer laughed, “you’re worried that I’m going to take your place?”

“No, I want to make sure you understand some things.” I sneered, I grabbed her arms, she hissed as steam rose from between her skin and mine, my hands burned right through the fabric of her sleeves. Her eyes were frantic with mine at the pain I knew she was in. “I don’t give a shit if you buddy up with Jaskier, I couldn’t care less if Geralt chooses you over me. But let’s get one thing clear, Ciri is not your child. You can get close to her, you can teach her, you can love her, but she is not yours. She’s mine. And if you put her in danger one more time, I swear to the gods that I will burn you alive, you spiteful bitch.” I shoved her away and stormed off, twigs snapping under my boots. 

I sat on a cliff edge for hours, my feet dangling off. How many times had I considered jumping off of a cliff since Yennefer returned? Three times. Once, when she first came back, I saw how Geralt looked at her. He looked at her like he loved her, he looked at her the way he looked at me before she came back into the picture. The second time was when Jaskier recounted her as his friend and slipped an arm around her, that wasn’t what did it. It was that she looked at me and smirked when he said it. And then the third time was when I heard her and Geralt speaking in hushed whispers while we were staying at an inn one night. I heard Yennefer giggling in delight and speaking in a sultry voice. 

All I had left was Ciri, she was the only one that I hadn’t lost, that didn’t entertain Yennefer’s desire for the perfect family. I recalled what my father told me when he found out about my gifts. “You will always be alone. You are extraordinary, but you are also a wrecking ball. Everything you touch, you ruin. You aren’t worth the pain, and one day everyone you care about will realize it too.” For decades that echoed in my head, those words. 

I felt tears slip down my cheeks, for a second I thought it was beginning to rain, but then I realized that it was just me. My lips trembled as I picked up a rock and chucked it off the cliffside, letting out a wail that I hoped no one could hear. 

Alas, I never got that lucky. In fact, my entire life had just been a series of bad luck. A series I thought ended when I met Geralt and Jaskier, when I met Ciri. Turns out that it was only just beginning. 

“Is this why you haven’t been speaking to me?” I heard Geralt ask in his usual gravelly tone, only this time it was softer, as if he was afraid to startle me. “I have no idea why you would think I’d leave-”

“You love her, Geralt,” I cut in, “I don’t need anyone to tell me that what I’m feeling is unjustified, I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m crazy. You love her. You’re cross with her at the moment, but the moment you accept her apology you two will be all cozied up to one another. In fact, you probably already are.”

Geralt was silent for a long moment, “me and Yennefer are done, (Y/N). I made that very clear to her.” I heard his boots moving on the gravelly rock before he sat down next to me. “I love you-”

“You only love me because you can’t have her, Geralt,” I turned to look at him. He seemed to jump back at the sight of my tear stained face. “I am no one’s second choice. All I have ever done is help other people, all I’ve ever done is think of everyone else, put other people first. And yet no one ever does the same for me.” I stood up and started to walk away from him, but he grabbed my hand before I could get very far. 

“You are not my second choice,” Geralt tugged me towards him until I looked at him again. “You should have just told me-”

“And what?” I shoved him away from me, “you would have told Yennefer to leave? You would have “listened” to what I had to say? Like you’re doing now?” I laughed, despair seizing me.

“I am listening.”

“No, you’re not. You’re trying to make it seem like I am at fault. You wouldn’t have listened, because you are unwilling to see the pain I’m in, the pain that I have been in, because you also know, deep down, that you are the cause.” Geralt lowered his head, and I knew I was right. 

“Then explain it to me, explain so I can understand, because I truly don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.” Geralt’s voice was pleading. 

I huffed a laugh, “it’s simple. She has her claws sunk so deep into your heart that you are blinded to any wrongdoing on her part. You have not seen the way she has looked at me or treated me, because you’d rather not see it.”

“How has she done wrong to you, (Y/N)?” Geralt snapped at me, “what exactly has she done to make you hate her so?” His tone was so…mocking that I flinched slightly. 

I felt myself choke on my tears, “this, Geralt.” I gestured between me and him, “she is determined to destroy everything that I perceive as mine.”

“No, she isn’t!”

I let the tears in my eyes fall, my legs felt wobbly beneath me, I saw guilt flash on his face at the sight, but I cast that observation aside. “Fine, Geralt. I’m done….I’m just…I’m done.” I took a step back away from him, “she wins. You’re hers, Ciri is hers, Jaskier is hers. I’m done.” I threw my hands up in defeat and turned my back on him, and I left. I left it all behind, Geralt, Yennefer, Jaskier and Ciri. I left it all behind because I knew if I stayed, it would eventually kill me. So with teary eyes and an aching heart, I walked away from the love of my life, my child, and my best friend. 

#jaskier #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt angst #the witcher #yennefer of vengerberg #yennefer #cirilla #princess cirilla #ciri #ciri x geralt #rivia #geralt fluff #fluff #angst #sadness #aretuza #kaer morhen

[dalamjisung]

By the time Vernon gets to your room, eyes wide in panic and arms full of snacks, you have just stopped crying. The redness in your cheeks is a dead give away, skin irritated with the harsh swipes of your hoodie sleeve trying to get rid of your betraying tears, but your friend knows better than to ask or comment on it, instead pushing his way inside and dropping everything in your bed. It’s only when his arms are free of all the weight of his panicked shopping did he turn to you and pulled you in a hug. And it does things to you, knowing that after everything seemed to be ruined and wrong, you still had a shoulder to cry on… even if it isn’t the shoulder you want. Even if it feel the same as every single other shoulder. Even if it isn’t supposed to feel the same as every single other shoulder.

A friend is more important than boyfriend or girlfriend you might have, baby, your mom used to say back when you were in high school, making you roll your eyes and nod mindlessly like the rebel child you liked to pretend you were. A friend stays. A friend holds your hand and never lets go. A friend is a shoulder to cry on, and that is very, very special. So never let go of the ones you have, even when things get a bit tough. Trust what you guys have and it will all be okay. Oh, how you wish you could go back in time and call her a liar, scream all the frustration out just to have her look that way that mothers do, with the gentle smile and the knowing eyes, as she hugs you with the powerful force only a mom can. But home is hours and hours away, and because you have refused to get your license since everything is so well connected here, Jeongin is always your ride home.

Scratch that. Jeongin is home, from the drive back to the moment you two are sharing a bed again, everything about it feels like home. Which probably explains why you feel so uncomfortably out of place in your room with Vernon hugging you, why you feel like you’re doing something wrong.

Why you feel like everything’s changing and you can’t pump the breaks.

“Oh god,” You cry harder at the sudden realization that this– exactly this, the terrorizing feeling of losing control over something that comprised such an essential part of yourself, is what Jeongin meant. This is what he was afraid of and to be completely honest, as Vernon holds you and whispered comforting nothings into your ear, as your phone rings and pings with unanswered calls and messages from your friends, as you cry, harder and harder by the second at the realization that you might just have made the worst mistake of your life… you are scared too.

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matching set // ten : another case of innie being innie

pairing: popular!jeongin x introvert!reader

genre: college!au, fluff

description: You two grew up together. As in, together-together. It’s an old tale, one where your mothers are best friends and so, much like best friends do, they went through every mile stone together– dating, marriage, and babies. Safe to say, you two learned from the best, so no one was really surprised when college came around and you two ended up in the same place. The only problem was, you’re not sure if you can stay the same when everything else has changed.

masterlist

chapter nine // chapter eleven

taglist: @banqtlattae @dream-toaster @strxwberrifields @cryoskz @p2q3r4 @lochness-butmakeitsexy @necromancersupreme @pokyloky @minmindreaming @junseokiss @rindomo @tanjiroar @meowtella @wewuuu @teddibug @hugsforjunseo @born5sos @the7thcrow @unloyaljisung @skzooo @jeonstresour @anxiousbobatea @mstarlight @dayawantstosleep @likexaxdaydream  @mstarlight @multiwendi @itsyaapollochild @seungcheoluwu @hopefulpursepeanutdeputy @nikyc00 @eastleighsblog @maeleelee @baby-bread-in @minhoesss @imasimplol @starrmage @baby-bread-in @leeati​ @starrmage @hello-2-u-from-me​ @everglowdaisies @90s-belladonna

[I am passing on the taglist to this series :) if you’d like to be added/removed, please let me know!]

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And here we go– this is a filler chapter, very clearly, but it was needed to set the tone and the direction of the story! Please bear with me, I can promise that next chapter is so, so, so much better <3 as always, thank you so much for your support, it means so much to me to know that we have this beautiful community here!

#matching set series #matching set chapter ten #dalamjisung #stray kids #stray kids yang jeongin #stray kids in #stray kids smau #stray kids social media au #stray kids social media #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #jeongin x reader #jeongin x y/n #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee felix #lee know #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #fake texts #fake text #jeongin fake texts #stray kids fake texts #stray kids image #kpop imagines #stray kids jeongin