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#Silvan Elves
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You know, I'm a huge fan of mirkwood elves being considered creepy and downright terrifying by almost everyone on Middle Earth, even by other elves. Your headcanons of them being nocturnal and eating the fuckin spawn of ungoliant of all things add on to this, sooo, can I have some incorrect quotes about some scary elves?
As asked for, some incorrect quotes:
Legolas: *starting to gut the spider carcasses after a skirmish*
The twins, who are visiting: what are you doing?!
Legolas: look, we can share if you want-
~~~~~
*in Imlardis*
The twins: *throw the curtains wide open* good morning!
Legolas: *hisses* wHAT DEVILISH CONTRAPTION-
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Elrond: *talking about how food is scarce atm in Imlardis*
Thranduil: *pauses* you kill dozens of orcs on the regular, and you still don’t have enough food?
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Faramir: I heard that those elves of Mirkwood will eat anyone and anything they deem an enemy.
Aragorn: oh, that’s an exaggeration-
Legolas:......
Aragorn: that’s an exaggeration, right legolas-
~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: you two are like the sun
The twins: awww, thank you-
Legolas: a nuisance.
~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: look if you’re stupid enough to challenge my people, you get eaten if you loose. That’s the rules of engagement.
~~~~~~~~~~
Thranduil: nighttime is Funtime
*silvans cackling in the distance as they slaughter all who cross their path*
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Thranduil: of course I would never hurt a tree! They are Eru’s gift to the universe!
Thranduil: you, however-
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Galion: oh, the noldor are always like “oh no! The darkness! By god what will we do when there are no farms! The night is so scary”
Galion: bitch, what do you think life was like before ya’ll came?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: Eru may judge me, but honestly, fuck him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: *dragging a spider corpse* life’s too short to care about other people’s opinions-
Aragorn: you’re immortal!
Legolas: fine, life’s too long to care about other people’s opinions. Happy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glorfindel: alright, looks like- wHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Arwen:*snacking on a spider leg* this is really good!
Legolas, vibrating with excitement: I know, right!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*in valinor post lotr*
Gandalf: ok, Thranduil has finally sailed, which means I need to get out of here before he catches me because he will definitely eat me for endangering his son-
Thranduil: hello, Gandalf!
Gandalf: *incoherent screaming*
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growingingreenwood · 11 months
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Random headcanon that the other elvish realms think that the Greenwood Elves have SOME-FUCKING-HOW developed **significantly** superior hearing compared to the rest of the elvish cultures/races. When I say 'significantly' I mean so significantly that it genuinely scares them a little bit.
A lot a bit.
It seems to them that the Greenwood Elves are capable of hearing and understanding even whispered conversations from MILES AND MILES AND MILES AWAY. Even when the distance is so great elvish eyes cannot even see a dark spec on the horizon, Greenwood Elves can still successfully eavesdrop on what is happening.
The other realms have, of course, come up with many of their own theories as to why and how they're capable of such things. Including but not limited to: Evolution that happened after most of the Noldor left for Valinor to help them survive the Dark Scary Times, a permanent enchantment of Melians that can be genetically passed down to one's offspring, an Extremely Elaborate Lie, a side effect of one of the plants that they eat, a sign that they've made a deal with Melkor to be his spies (this theory is banned from being openly spoken about in Imladris, if it is, you get 1 single warning before Elrond yeets you out of the valley his damn self. You are not welcome back for at least 100 years, and you have to apologize before you're allowed back in.)
There is, of course, an incredibly simple and straightforward reason for this perceived 'super-hearing' which is: The elves don't hear things, the trees do and just relay the information (or at least the gist or important bits) back to the elves. They can hear what you say from 1000 miles away because there's trees literally everywhere.
But since the other realms don't speak to/with the trees in the same capacity as the Greenwood Elves, the thought that this is possible literally never occurs to them. And the Greenwood Elves think the entire situation is too funny to ever explain it.
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sotwk · 14 days
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The Baker from Lórien (Haldir gen ficlet)
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Summary: A visitor from Lórien brings some excitement to the kitchens of the Elvenking's palace.
Word count: 1.1k
Content: Pure fluffy randomness, mother-son relationship, toddler Legolas
Rating: General (no warnings apply)
To Read on AO3: Link
A/N: I wrote this ficlet purely on a whim; I had no plans or strategy for it going in. It could be nonsense, or I could be onto something. XD It's most likely going to stay a random SotWK AU one-shot, but who knows. I pretty much just wanted to finally write any story featuring Haldir, whom I love dearly and firmly believe was one of the most desired bachelors east of the Mountains. Special thanks to my friend @creativity-of-death who inspired the concept of a Baker Haldir long ago!
Headcanons about Haldir in the SotWK AU: Any questions you might have about the background history in this fic would be answered HERE.
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The Baker from Lórien
Third Age 246 Spring
Bar Lasgalen, the Palace of the Elvenking
“Down and forward, turn, and fold over. Repeat. Remember to use the heel of your hand--this part, right here.”
The lump of dough felt pleasantly squishy in Legolas’s hands, and only with great self-restraint did the four-year-old elfling manage to resist playing with it like modeling clay, instead of following his instructor’s example. With eyes narrowed in determined concentration, he watched the steadily working hands of the elf across the table from him. After just a minute or so of observation, he began to mimic the brisk kneading motion.
“Yes, good! That is very good.” The visitor from Lórien seemed pleased, albeit surprised, by how quickly the child caught on.  
Legolas beamed at the ellon’s praise, and held the smooth ball of dough up high over his head in triumph. “Is it ready for the oven now?”
“Not quite.” The silver-haired ellon took the dough from Legolas and checked it with a few expert prods of his fingers. “It needs time to rest and rise. An hour at least, although up to three is much better, and then we can reshape it into loaves. Then it must rest again, before it can be baked.” 
“Three hours?!” Legolas exclaimed, already dismissive of whatever other steps came after. “Does bread really take that long to make every time?”
“The loaves should be fresh and hot out of the oven just in time for your Highness’s breakfast.” Legolas watched as his dough ball was placed into a large pan next to five others and covered with a dish cloth.  
“And a delicious breakfast is best preceded by a sound night’s sleep, is it not?” The voice that came from the kitchen doorway made Legolas scramble off his stool. He smiled sheepishly at his nursemaid, Ninniel, as she entered with a knowing smile and firm shake of her head for him.
The older ellon spoke up. “My apologies, Emmë. I should have realized the hour was too late.”
“It’s all right. It appears some valuable learning has been accomplished here, at least.” Ninniel took in the rather comical sight of her grown son towering next to her not-at-all-grown charge, both of them dusted in flour, and felt all her exasperation melt away. She dipped a tea towel into the washing basin and set to work wiping the sticky residue off Legolas’s fingers. 
“Will you come and get me when my loaf is finished baking, Halidr?”
“Well…” Haldir of Lórien glanced hesitantly at his mother. He was still unsure what to make of Thranduil’s sons, who all behaved without any regard or perhaps even awareness of their social rank. Legolas, in particular, had been unabashed in his fascination with Haldir ever since his arrival at Bar Lasgalen. Today was merely the first day of a month-long, overdue visit to his parents, and most of it had passed with the little prince turning up wherever Haldir happened to be, armed with a constant stream of questions. “It really is not my place to--”
“When your bread comes out of the oven, I will wake you to come and have it for  breakfast, with me and Haldir,” Ninniel interjected smoothly. “But the sooner you get to bed, the sooner you can rise refreshed for a new day, yes?”
“That sounds excellent!” Legolas threw his hands up, and wriggled his hips in a little sort of dance. “I shall be back in a few hours, Haldir! Please take care of my bread!” he called out to the bemused elf before bounding out the door. 
“Are you still finding everything all right, dearest?” Ninniel swept a light hand over her son’s broad back. In one touch she could tell Haldir was fairly relaxed, as she had hoped he would gradually become. Her eldest had always been the most serious of her children, and his nature only grew graver as the ages passed and the memories of hard years weighed on him. It had been far too long since his last visit to Eryn Galen, so rarely could he be persuaded to leave his post at the March, and Ninniel hoped the brief holiday away would be restful for his spirit. 
“Yes, everyone here at the palace has been… quite attentive.” Haldir smiled and planted a swift kiss over his mother’s hair. “The prince’s arrival sent them scurrying off, I fear, but I do not think he seemed to mind or notice.”
Ninniel shook her head. “The only thing they were running from was their own embarrassment,” she said. “I will let you return to your work, my love. Legolas and I will be back soon.”
And indeed, as soon as she exited the kitchen, she encountered the gaggle of young kitchen maids waiting in the hall, preparing to re-enter now that the royal Highness had left and gone to bed. 
“Lady Ninniel,” they curtsied to her, appearing only mildly abashed by her witness to their obvious intentions. But this was a small phenomenon Ninniel had grown accustomed to over the years, for it became clear early on that her handsome son elicited rather strong reactions from elleths, often without any encouragement. 
“My lady, if we may…” one of the girls blurted out. “We were wondering… that is, we wanted to make certain… do you know whether or not Lord Haldir…”
“He is not a lord, and he would not appreciate being addressed as one,” Ninniel corrected gently. “And as far as I know, he is not engaged, involved, or taken with anyone at present.” She gazed at the line of hopeful faces and pressed her lips to smother a chuckle. “Any of you are welcome to try and draw his interest, if that is your wish.”
But best of luck, indeed. Ninniel sighed as she departed, leaving the sounds of pitchy giggling behind her as the pack descended on her oblivious son. Whether there was any chance of a maiden in all of the Woodland Realm catching Haldir of Lórien’s eye, much less his elusive heart, she did not know. That hope had certainly not borne any fruit in over a thousand years of matchmaking attempts. But any diversion, any added source of joy outside of his work, his books, or his baking, could only be a good thing. 
Anything beyond that--dare say a betrothal, a marriage, or even a new precious grandchild--was something Ninniel was prepared to be completely surprised with. But a mother will always hope.
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It’s amusing that in The Hobbit, the dwarves are (much!) politer to the goblins than to the Wood-elves.
Thorin to the Great Goblin (after the goblins have dragged them underground singing about whipping and beating and enslaving them):
“Thorin the dwarf at your service! Of the things which you suspect and imagine we had no idea at all. We sheltered from a storm in what seemed a convenient cave and unused; nothing was further from our thoughts than inconveniencing goblins in any way.
We were on a journey to visit our relatives, our nephews and nieces, and first, second, and third cousins, and the other descendents of our grandfathers, who live on the East side of these truly hospitable mountains.”
Thorin is, of course, bullshitting, but at least he’s endeavouring at polite bullshit.
In contrast, Thorin says nothing to the Elven-king about what he’s doing:
The king looked sternly on Thorin, when he was brought before him, and asked him many questions. But Thorin would only say that they were starving…
“But what brought you into the forest at all?” asked the king angrily. At that Thorin shut his mouth and would not say another word.
And the other dwarves also take a far different tone towards the Elves than Thorin did towards the goblins; they’re deliberately trying to offend.
“What have we done, O king?” said Balin, who was the eldest left. “Is it a crime to be lost in the forest, to be hungry and thirsty, to be trapped by spiders? Are the spiders your tame beasts or your pets, if killing them makes you angry?”
Such a question of course made the king angrier than ever, and he answered: “If is a crime to wander in my realm without leave. Do you forget that you were in my kingdom, using the road that my people made? Dif you not three times pursue and trouble my people in the forest and rouse the spiders with your riot and clamour? After all the disturbance you have made I have a right to know what brings you here, and if you will not tell me now, I will keep you all in prison until you have learned sense and manners!”
They certainly could have gone with, “We’re going to visit our kin in the Iron Hills [a perfectly reasonable and plausible statement], and Gandalf said we could use this path; we’re very sorry we attracted the spiders and we certainly didn’t mean to. If you could kindly give us directions out of the forest we will leave as quickly as possible without causing further trouble.”
I’m not saying it definitely would have helped, but if they can feign courtesy to goblins you’d think they could do the same to elves!
(In fairness: they are much tireder and hungrier now than they were even in the Misty Mountains. But still.)
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majestictolkienelves · 4 months
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Aragorn: do you really think you'll be physically able to do that?
Legolas: do silvans fuck in the forest?
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ghostofashina · 1 year
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“long ago, we fought and died together.”
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the-red-butterfly · 8 months
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Ascension
Elvenking Thranduil (Tolkien universe)
The king is dead and Thranduil must take the place of his father.
Another entry for S&D @fall-for-tolkien an idea that I had originally planed for TRSB but was put in the back burner after a long period of pondering. (Funny then that this one was the first I finished and NOT the ones I should've for TRSB 🙃 Oopsie, hehe.)
I actually really loved how it turned out! I am... dare i say it? Proud of myself??? Yes I am 😌
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Open for Commissions
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A 'friendly' welcome to the Greenwood. Ignore the sword. (Or don't.)
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there's this guy on Instagram making tree nets called "Charlie's webs" and i can't help but think how much they would fit the Silvan elves. like, having the trees around their homes full of net spirals and bridges and platforms to hang out on and walk from house to house and climb to the treetops for some stargazing. plus, they're bouncy so the elflings would love it
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foedhrass · 8 months
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It’s been a couple of years since I’ve worn this cosplay, a Mirkwood elf inspired by the hunters from the Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug.
Cosplay & edit: Foedhrass
Photo: Ahlundae
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aotearoa20 · 5 months
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Elves of the Greenwood
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Silvans are Nocturnal
No but seriously though, considering that the elves of Beriland very much did not have any form of light other than the stars until the sun came up, they probably feel more at home in the darkness of the night and this continues to be the way the silvans opperate through the ages. It helps that ultimately they do not interact that much with other elven realms so it’s not as if they need to change to accommodate them.
Furthermore, elves can stay awake days at a time, so when the silvans do need to interact with outsiders they can simply stay awake during the day when needed and leave no one the wiser.
A more tactical reason for the nocturnalness is that the enemy, the darkness is more active during the night and less during the day, so it’s safer to sleep during the day than at night.
I must emphesize that, due to their nocternalness, they also do not need much light to see in the dark, so at most you have faintly glowing plants or lamps throughout the settlement/stronghold/palace that are only strong enough to give a vague outline of the place, but not enough to give anyone any details. It makes it very hard for outsiders to navigate through the place during the night.
The silvans, of course, have no issue seeing everything clearely, allowing them to get the drop on many beings. Their eyes also have an odd glow to them, not like that of the trees, but it’s unique to the silvan folfk and other elves find it highly unsettling.
(Off topic, but i personally believe that the silvans stalk through the forests like leapards and jaguars, largely due to them, well, living in a forest with uneven ground surrounded by foilage that makes it hard to see enemies from far away. They also slink through the forest to hunt, getting a literal drop on their prey from the trees.
The way silvan’s behave is very different from any other elves (except maybe the avari and/or green elves) bc they do not reside in large cities with towering buildings and wide open space)
This in turn has the side affect of at least Thranduil and Legolas walking as if they were stalking their prey and everyone finds it highly unsettling and it makes them think as if the silvan royals are pissed off at sm1 bc surely that must be why they’re behaving as if they are about to kill.
This is why Thranduil got himself accidentally painted as a very scary and temporal elf when in reality he’s a legit chill, calm, and fun guy who likes to party.
HE’S NOT TRYING TO BE SCARY, OK, HE’S JUST A SILVAN TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE! (Read: get drunk and make merry)
Also:
Elrond, getting up at the crack of dawn to get to work: oh, Thranduil! I didn’t know you’d be up already!
Thranduil, whose internal clock demands it’s evening and is getting dinner: how the fuck do you function during the day
And:
Boromir, whose taking the night watch: *sees legolas* aY YO WHAT THE FUCK-
Legolas, staring in the general direction of Boromir while sitting perfectly still with a bow in hand bc for him it’s day: *waves* nice night
Aragorn, trying to sleep, used to this: stop being a creepy bitch, Las.
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growingingreenwood · 1 year
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I think that by the time the end of the third age starts nearing, Legolas and the other Greenwood Elves would be able to say just about anything they wanted about their home and be immediately believed.
In the century leading up to the War of the Ring the other elven realms know for a fact that Greenwood has:
1) An enchanted river that immediately puts people to sleep
2) Spiders the same size or bigger than a horse, that also happen to be both venomous and carnivorous. That talk.
3) Huge Motherfucking Bats.
4) Countless Orcs, Wargs, and Goblins.
5) Until recently a Fire-Breathing Dragon vibing in the nearby mountain
7) The Real and Actual Devil’s favorite minion basically pitched a tent in their backyard. .
Legolas could look at Elladan and say: “At night, the Fire Bugs come out. Which are a lot like the Fire Bugs outside of the forest except that they have the power to set things on fire with their minds as a defense mechanism.”
As long as Legolas said it with a straight enough face, he could say literally whatever he wanted and Elladan would have absolutely no reason to think that he’s lying, and basically has no other choice than to be like “Damn that's crazy, so do you all just sit perfectly still at night not to scare them or what?”
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sotwk · 3 months
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I've always thought that the reason for Tolkien elves losing interest in sex after having the kids that they want is a by-product of his Catholicism. My mum was raised Catholic and she says that she was raised to believe that children were the thing that redeemed sex and that ideally sex wouldn't happen at all. (Idk if that's a universal experience but it was hers) So it makes sense that Tolkien's elves, as 'higher' more spiritual beings would be less sexual beings and so would not partake in sex after they'd had their kids. (Which is why I ignore that particular titbit of Tolkien lore😉)
Ooof! I'm quite familiar with Catholic teachings on sex, and it sounds like the values your mom grew up with were quite extreme! (Religious values and beliefs run across a very wide spectrum, but let's not invite debates on that!) That sounds a lot more like something Mrs. Kim from Gilmore Girls would say. LOL.
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I admit I lean more towards the puritan, "higher being" interpretation of Elves, especially the Calaquendi who have seen the Light of the Trees. There has to be something that distinguishes them from the other Middle-earth races, and temperance when it comes to carnal needs and urges (i.e. sex, food), is one of those characteristics. So yes, Elves are less interested in sex than Dwarves, Hobbits, but especially Men, but even their appetites vary within their race.
When it comes to the SotWK AU's interpretation of Thranduil and his Elvenqueen wife, Maereth, here is a rundown of my take on it:
(My headcanons are mostly guided by what was written in the LaCE, because I'm a Type-A nerd who likes rules and manuals, but these are just MY interpretation of it. It's not hardline LaCE compliant either, and regardless, my takes are neither canon nor law!)
Thranduil and Maereth are descendants of Calaquendi, but had not made the journey themselves. Technically, Maereth is closer to the Light of the Trees and arguably more "blessed" in that manner, since her mother was born in Tirion (Valinor), as opposed to Oropher who never completed the journey.
Thranduil was always more free-spirited ("as wild as one of Araw’s Kine", Oropher described him in my fic "The Crown") than the average Sinda, and over the years became even more alike the Silvan people he ruled over.
Silvans are culturally more sexual than the Sindar or Noldor, not necessarily in the sense of being promiscuous, but rather that they take more pleasure in the act itself as way of bonding with their partners, not just for the sake of begetting children.
The Silvans do not lose interest in sex even after thousands of years, and are able to retain monogamous relationships with their partners because Elven bonds (platonic, familial, romantic, etc.) are as enduring as their physical immortality.
This is what helps the Silvan/Greenwood population endure through the millennia, throughout the "Mirkwood" dark ages, and into the Fourth Age and beyond in Eryn Lasgalen. They keep having sex, keep reproducing, and their population is sustained even through attacks and wars.
Oh, and culturally, the Silvans also love children and celebrate the process of raising them as a community. That's a key factor in their population growth too.
Thranduil and Maereth are, foregoing more eloquent terms, absolutely bananas for each other. Epic, epic, love along the vein of Professor Tolkien's love for his wife Edith, and its parallel romance--Beren and Lúthien. Could you imagine Lúthien replacing or loving anyone other than Beren? (I guess you can imagine anything in fandom, but I hope you get my point.) Well, it's the same with Thranduil and his Elvenqueen. It's a rather unpopular take on his love life, but that's how it is at least in the SotWK AU.
So yeah, they never tire of each other and never stop wanting each other, in any way, by any definition. They naturally stop begetting children after Legolas (their 5th), but the lovemaking definitely continues.
Sorry for the delay in this response, Anon--I hope you're still able to see and read this. And I hope the uncalled-for infodump makes it better, not worse! LOL. Thank you for the Ask!
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elithilanor · 2 years
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Head-canons/Imagines for Elves Responses to a Reader Suffering Sensory Overload (from a person who suffers from sensory overload and overstimulation) p4
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Tauriel: Expressive. Movement. Nature.
Despite being an elf, Tauriel never really slows down and is often out fighting or practicing fighting. Her love is quick and fiery and intense and passionate, just like her. She’s aware enough of her partner to recognize something’s wrong, but her typical ways of self-soothing aren’t usually beneficial to you.
She usually ends up taking you to a meadow or on a long walk among the safer paths in the Greenwood to try and ground you and surround you by the magic of middle earth and the trees. It pulls you out of your head and often takes your senses off the edge they were on or over so you can continue to relax throughout the rest of the day or get some sleep. She’ll brush with your hair for hours.
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Arondir: Grounding. Gardens. Presence.
Arondir’s by nature a quiet elf and focuses more on actions to prove his love than words. He often can get overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of the human communities he’s lived in and misses the sounds of soft elven silences so he understands the situation.
He’ll stand as close to you as you allow and run his hands over your arms in a soothing gesture, head tucked into yours and doesn’t say anything. His strength of presence is more than enough. You live out of the village far enough that your home and gardens are quiet so if it’s not bright out (so not to aggravate a migraine), he’ll take you to your garden and sit with his arms around you weaving the vines of flowers into small animals to amuse you. All in blessed silence.
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Thranduil: Holder. Soothing. Nuzzler.
You tend to sequester yourself when you feel like the world is just too much, so sometimes given how busy he is, he’s not always aware of it. He tries to keep an eye on you and feels terribly when he finds you curled up in a ball long after nights fallen with no one to keep you close.
Legolas got some of his soothing tendencies from his father so in that vein, Thranduil usually wraps you up tightly in a blanket and will lay next to (or on) you to try and cover as much surface area as possible. He likes to bury his nose in your neck and just nuzzle the shit out of you because it makes you laugh when you can. For all that most people are intimidated by him and his presence, he’s actually incredibly warm with those that he loves that need him.
@sorrow-and-bliss p4; maybe the last part?
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majestictolkienelves · 3 months
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The sindar and silvans are like the french in the way that they give their elflings watered down wine from a young age and slowly decrease the amount of water as they grow up
However the noldor are very much more like the Americans in the way that there's set rules about age and there is absolutely no exception
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