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deadcactuswalking · 11 days

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 06/04/2024 (Beyoncé's COWBOY CARTER)

Welp, as one would expect, she gets the double, the #1 album with COWBOY CARTER and “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” is back up top. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we shall start with our notable dropouts - songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the chart or a peak in the top 40 - and this week, we bid adieu to some big deals: “FRI(END)S” by V (more BTS on the way), “BURN” by Hitler and Goebbels, “Coal” by Dylan Gossett, “Grey” by Yung Filly, “Selfish” by Justin Timberlake, “redrum” by 21 Savage, “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party, “Strangers” by Kenya Grace and finally, “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake.

As for our returns, we see “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi back to bottom-dwell at #75 and #74, alongside “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo at #71, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, they’re basically all in the same boat. Notable gains on the other hand… we see boosts for “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #67, “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #52, “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti at #50, “Never be Lonely” by Jax Jones and Zoe Wees at #41, sigh, “Been Like This” by Meghan Trainor and T-Pain at #40, SIGH, “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #38, “Slow it Down” by Benson Boone at #27 (likely even further next week thanks to the album), “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #26, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #25 (what a great new run this is having), “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor at #22, and finally, Artemas gets his first top 10 with “i like the way you kiss me”. I mean, at least it’s interesting.

Now our top five should look pretty familiar: “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande at #5, “Too Sweet” by Hozier at #4, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #2 and of course Bey knocks Benjamin Boonerang off the #1 to #2 with “Beautiful Things”. Now to talk about - let’s be real - Beyoncé and some minor cameos.

New Entries

#64 - “NEURON” - j-hope, Gaeko and YOON MIRAE

Produced by Pdogg

So, j-hope of BTS released an album - or it seems more like a mixtape - that landed at #38 on the albums chart thanks to the classic BTS sales. Whilst there doesn’t appear to be a clear single on the project, especially considering j-hope was always more of a rapper in the group, but this got the video treatment and is very much what I expect from j-hope, at least from the very little I’ve heard of his solo work. It’s got a set of blissful pads against a vocoder sample and surprisingly heavy-hitting boom bap drums, as well as sing-songy rap flows in a nasal, almost J. Cole-like delivery that could be about love but keep it vaguer in the verse, it might be more conscious and spiritual, especially considering the focus on neuron activation. Gaeko is a lot more explicitly introspective, looking back on his life and how he’s not as aggressive as he used to be in his youth, finding more solace in playing ball with his son that “embracing the bomb” - some of the Genius translation could miss out some detail or context here. Now YOON MIRAE, a female rapper, really brings the heat here, as the intensity of the pianos ramp up, the beat gets a tad more minimal and she raps bilingually in a deeper yell than either of the guys here can cough up. She speaks somewhat generically of the rap game and motivation to grind, but her riffing on the final chorus is what convinces me, as well as her acknowledging that she’s granted the beat drop in the song, it shows an awareness of the structure of the song and not just being a guest rap verse, it’s clever and interesting, really puts the verse into perspective. So I ended up really liking this - it’s a bit fluffy, as K-pop often is, but it’s got grit and meaning to it this time around, and with the variety in flows, focused content, I can dig this.

#62 - “Jump” - Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng

Produced by Sammy Sosa

I quite liked Tyla’s self-titled debut, currently at #33 on the albums chart. The South African singer brings a reassuring, youthful joy to detailed production and it’s all a light, feathery bliss that’s just a delight to sit through, even if the record is clearly not for sitting. I have a full first-impressions review on my RateYourMusic listening log (the account is exclusivelytopostown) if you want more thoughts on that, but my favourite moments on the album are when guest features with a little more smolder are brought in to balance the sweetness, like with Tems on “No. 1” and with Gunna and Jamaican deejay Skillibeng on this track, “Jump”, which has a subtle sprinkling of Afrobeats guitars and keys over the very unsubtle rhythm section, a great deep bass and busy drums that can counter the choir vocals in the verses as well as Tyla belting a tad on the chorus. There’s little substance to it - it’s just about being hot and having fun, with a hilariously repetitive post-chorus, but both Tyla and Gunna shout out her native Johannesburg and if you were expecting anything of further depth, you’re just listening to the wrong album. This is a lot of fun and I hope it catches on.

#61 - “I LUV IT” - Camila Cabello featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by El Guincho and Jasper Harris

Sometimes I wish this show was a video series. For this entry, I would probably just point and laugh at the calculated attempt to be interesting, for a demographic I’m a part of, and failing so catacylismically that no-one is buying it or bothering to listen more than once. I don’t mean to be harsh, and I’m not blaming the artists, more so the label and marketing teams: when releasing a pop single, you first have to consider - who is this for? Who can you appeal to and how? Here, Camila has her own fanbase already, so she’s going to try and appeal to them, naturally. Also, it has a very edgy, cinematic video for fans of say, The Weeknd or people who watch Euphoria. Sure, okay, that could work. Oh, and the song sounds like Charli XCX - though she recruited ROSALÍA’s producer - so she’s trying to appeal to her hyperpop crowd, that’s fine, you’re stretching yourself a bit thin there though, it could be a bit too camp for the edgy crowd if you do that, and a bit too dark for the hyperpop crowd if you get Playboi Carti on board, because I guess she needs a rap crossover audience… or at least an experimental rap crossover audience in this case. At least she’s not using a nostalgia-bait sample of a Gucci Mane song from… oh, she’s using a nostalgia-bait sample of a Gucci Mane song from 2009. Okay, so I guess the target demographic is everyone now, but hyperpop fans like authenticity, and this clearly doesn’t have it. Carti fans hate women, Camila’s own fans, if her old comments are anything to go by, hate… “rappers”, let’s say that. And really, what person who would be nostalgic for Gucci’s “Lemonade” - never charted here, by the way - would even be keeping an eye out for Camila Cabello? This is just a travesty of a lead single… and the song’s brilliant, all of that context just makes what the eventual end product is completely hilarious.

I’ve always been an advocate for mess in pop music - not necessarily the discourse, but the music itself and the rollout surrounding it - because it is exciting and part of the reason I do this show. There are more fascinating stories to be told with music when it reaches a mass audience, it’s just natural, and that’s especially interesting when the song is a Goddamn trainwreck that’s catchy as sin and does everything wrong. There are rage synths that don’t last the entire measure for no reason - and they don’t try and hide it - whilst the synths on the chorus play the role of a theremin. Cabello not being able to sing all that well means that her playing staccato, hyperpop robo-girl over a pretty rote Jersey club groove actually goes really well for her, even if she inexplicably decorates the song in breathy ad-libs as if she herself was Playboi Carti. Speaking of ad-libs, they leave in Gucci’s original “brr”s in the chorus, seemingly out of either laziness or refusal to re-record the choir hook, and given both hooks are just mantras, there are basically two choruses instead of an active chorus/post-chorus dynamic, especially since there is no considerable change sonically or tonally between the two. This lack of structure culminates in a “bridge” that is JUST multi-tracked ad-libs, and features Cabello saying “slow down, baby”… the tempo remains the same entirely and the drums don’t go into half-time like they probably should for a Playboi Carti feature. He goes for his deep, richer voice and the song just kind of… ends with his verse? Barely catching up to the beat, Carti rambles as usual, even less coherent in his mumbling than usual, and eventually, Cabello tries to insert herself into his orbit, it’s so painful. It’s telling that when I search for this song on Spotify, the artists recommended to me are Carti, Charli and then Ken Carson and Lancey Foux. Camila herself is nowhere to be seen in that list of artists and whether that’s because there’s none of her personality in this song or she didn’t have any to begin with is a question for another day. For now, this is garbage. I love it.

#60 - “Outside of Love” - Becky Hill

Produced by PARISI

Now Becky Hill kind of has something to prove to me now, she’s been on increasingly better production that fits the places she wants to go with her voice a lot more as of recent and it’s been pretty promising. Also promising are PARISI, a duo who I mostly connect with Fred again.. but have also worked extensively with Ed Sheeran, and particularly on some of his most interestingly layered songs vocally like “Afterglow” and “Visiting Hours” which may be a coincidence but had me really excited for what the boys could do with Ms. Hill. Turns out it probably was a coincidence, the vocal mixing is kind of mediocre actually, they don’t really contain her belting very well, not that it really needs containing given this is fully in festival mode. Everytrinkling synth pad, house kick, it feels like it’s a constant light fluttering under Hill’s desperate attempt to jigsaw this relationship back together. I know it’s an EDM-pop track so the lyrics are little to write home about but it should still be said that the description of herself as on the “outside of love” is interesting imagery, it makes me wonder what could be done with that concept by a more poetic writer who has a bit more time and, let’s be real, a fitting sonic palette for that kind of lyricism. Whilst this hasn’t immediately clicked with me as much as the past two, I feel I’ll appreciate this one for just being a maximalist bop with terribly-mixed gospel-like vocals on the final drop, it goes for an onslaught of everything in a very admirable way. It’s cute, it reminds me of when 2000s Eurodance hits would go way harder than they needed to simply to raise the dramatic stakes. So yeah, another Becky Hill song I like. World’s crumbling.

#9 - “II MOST WANTED” - Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus

Produced by Beyoncé, Shawn Everett, Michael Pollack, Miley Cyrus and Jonathan Rado

So, there’s a Beyoncé album, I think? It’s got a country and western tinge to it. Heard it’s long, heard it’s pretty good. Haven’t heard it. I probably will not listen to it and I’m not saying that to be “cool” or contrarian because if I were, I’d have listened to it and pretended to hate it. Realistically, I don’t have a dog in the Beyoncé does country argument. I’m not a country fan, or a country hater, I’m not a big Beyoncé fan, or Azealia Banks, so I have nothing valuable to contribute to the discourse as well as no reason to hear a damn near feature-length record. When Beyoncé did house, firstly, she did it well, and secondly, I’m a fan of house music! I know more about it than other genres, I’m quite educated in certain subgenres and I recognised a few of the samples and cultural references she was lifting from on RENAISSANCE. I feel like most of them may be lost on me or not fully resonate when discussing her pivot to country music, and I wish that wasn’t the case. Part of me just wants to say that I listen to Weezer and future bass so leave me alone. Thankfully, the British public has given me the easiest plate of two tracks from this album: a Dolly Parton cover and a mid Miley duet. It’s about being a ride-or-die, it’s got soaring guitars and both ladies have an audible rasp and grit to their voices, even if Miley ends up like a backing vocalist at times to Bey. They’re trading lyrics or in harmony nearly all the time, and Miley plays it a lot calmer than Bey, naturally, who probably wants and needs to prove herself in country pop more than the seasoned player. Hell, I actually think their chemistry here is awkward and not accentuated by the vague western-soundfont lyrics that don’t play into any notable angle, and in the bridge, just kind of give up on themselves. It’s a bit disappointing, to say the least.

#8 - “JOLENE” - Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, Khirye Tyler, Jack Ro and NOVA WAV

Dolly Parton’s iconic 1973 jam “Jolene”, begging desperately for this beautiful woman not to cheat on her husband, is pretty undeniable, right? Well, I’ve never really liked it, sorry to say. My taste in country is pretty horrific, I’ll be the first to admit, but I’ve always found the instrumentation underwhelming and going for sinister when Dolly is selling it with a long of strength and desperacy, like she’s at her last tether. The sapphic elements are compelling of course, but they collapse in the third verse, then it fades out having sonically done nothing much at all. There’s always been something breezy about it to me that I never really understood, and that’s no disrespect to Dolly, she’s easily my favourite part. Regardless, this is one of those times where I have to give a chart history, so flashback to 1976, when “Jolene” first lands on the UK charts and peaks at #7, when “Combine Harvester” by the Wurzels was #1. I know that one because of my dad, if you haven’t heard that song… you know what, don’t.

“Jolene” was Dolly’s first top 10 over here and ended up re-entering a few times in the 2010s. Before that came many re-imaginings. First, in 1985, we had Glasgow’s Strawberry Switchblade cover the song, in a weird mix of new wave, freestyle and western elements that really show what performative country aesthetics can be, because this has more to do with darkwave than anything from the Deep South. It peaked at #53 and it is terrible. The 2000s is where the covers really ramped up, firstly in 2000 with the #100-peaking cover by London alt-rock outfit Queenadreena. Seemingly not on streaming, it came with their original, “Pretty Polly”, and fully goes into the dark cabaret aesthetic, especially in that... choice of a music video. I think I might prefer it to the original, it makes Jolene sound like an evil woman who I would like to step on me. We also saw a #99 peak for a song in 2007 by folk singer Ray LaMontagne also coincidentally called “Jolene” - it’s not a cover, but it’s a pretty great, tragic narrative ballad if you’re interested. Good accidental discovery to make. My favourite cover of “Jolene”, however, and the only version to get close to Dolly’s original peak until Queen Bey was the version recorded by the garage rock duo, The White Stripes, specifically a 2004 live version that peaked at #16. Now, am I biased because I love Jack White? Yes. Yes, I am, and so does Beyoncé, so shush. Everyone and their mother has covered Dolly, but out of all “Jolene” renditions I’ve heard, Jack just sounds the most devastated, and the eventual crash into distorted, hapless guitars and Meg White’s ugly-ass snares after that rushed, chaotic percussion panned exclusively to the left throughout, is incredibly cathartic. And that’s just the studio version - the live version that charted is even more dire and Jack is downright pathetic on it, worsened by the audience wooing, cheering and clapping on occasion, it eggs on Jolene in a way and publicises his angst “Jolene - Live Under Blackpool Lights” might honestly be one of the greatest cover songs of all time.

So how does Beyoncé fare? Well, she changes a lot of the lyrics to act more as a warning to people attempting to take JAY-Z instead of desperately begging Jolene not to get with JAY-Z, mostly because I don’t think Beyoncé could easily sell being helpless, especially in the context of her husband - we all heard Lemonade. I’m not sure how effectively you can sell the warning shot either considering, well, there was a Becky with some good hair who did all of this a few years ago. Sonically, I’m not head over heels for what sounds like a pretty rote rendition, even if Beyoncé’s vocals and some of the lyrics add a lot of character that simply isn’t in the instrumental. The backing vocal repeating “Jolene” at sporadic intervals, I can’t figure out exactly who it is, probably The-Dream, but he reminds me of Wyclef Jean on “Hips Don’t Lie”. That’s my intellectual observation. I just used a review of a song from the biggest black female country album ever to talk about a guy whose last name is literally White. When she releases a pop punk album, I’ll be more in tune, but for now, leave it to Azealia Banks and Spectrum Pulse, I’m sure if you combined the two, you’d create Frankenstein’s cultural critic.

Conclusion

Fascinatingly enough, this was a great week outside of Beyoncé, who takes away Worst of the Week for “II MOST WANTED” with Miley Cyrus and the Dishonourable Mention for her cover of “JOLENE”. Neither song are terrible, but I think I established in both reviews that my general disinterest for the album doesn’t entirely cover a lot of the flaws I believe are present in these tracks, I’m sorry. Again, I like Beyoncé, just not these particular records. As for the best… oh, God, it’s Camila Cabello’s “I LUV IT” featuring Playboi Carti, isn’t it? Honourable Mention goes to Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng for “Jump” but I think I’ll have to spend a few days in rehab recovering from picking the other song as my Best of the Week. As for what’s on the horizon, more insufferable discourse as J. Cole drops a surprise diss record. Other than that, Charli XCX links with Gesaffelstein, Benson links with Boone and there’s new tracks from Bryson Tiller, Ava Max and the Imagine Dragons. All of it could chart, none of it could chart, we’ll see. For now, however, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!