#So everyone sees you're mine

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Illinoise (the ballet/musical based on Sufjan Stevens' album Illinois) is eying a move to Broadway after its current NY run in Armory Park ends and im just imagining it taking off among the bway Fandom because 1 it's fucking amazing 2 it's gay and sad and will make you cry (but doesn't bury its gays) 3 the characters are broad enough that fanon can do literally whatever it wants with them

But then we'd have a whole Fandom obsessed with esoteric Illinois history which would be so fucking funny.

#If you're in NY and have a chance go fucking see it it's so good #When I say the characters are broad there's no dialogue in the show just the lyrics on the album #So we get the characters intense emotions and relationships but literally no facts about them #So everyone can just go “Carl is autistic” and there's no evidence to really support or contradict iy #I just want them to record a soundtrack of their arrangements and vocalists because they were gorgeous #Sufjan Stevens #Illinois #Illinoise #Come on feel the Illinoise #Broadway #Broadway Fandom #post o' mine

[aldasart]

years ago a cleric said to a tiefling "don't touch me!" And it spawned a long frienemyship. Now years later. The phrase is repeated....but between fwbuddies instead

#Dana #Vrey #Just for clarity on this one bc I'm having fun lol #Vrey (tifeling girl) tried to help Theo (beard boy) but he shook her off and she took GREAT offense and never forgot ever #And they both became gods (maybe). Vrey specifically one that can See things #Dana (dogthing) tried to comfort Tika (Hat Man) last session and he said the same thing. And the Players are the same people #So I thought this was fun bc our group of 7 obviously repeats some patterns between campaigns #What if each campaign was an AU but the players are like the OG forms and understand the continuity #So mine and X's characters are like people who find each other again and again and again ...l different dynamics but at the core they recog #Idk I thought it was cute lol. Our first serious campaign had everyone super bonded so I think it's nice #OH and the link is one of my many animatics. Ok that's my little dump hi friends hi whoever reads this ilu #You probs dont care ITS OKAY I'm glad you're here

[cakesmelons]

With the powers I've been granted as a creator and owner of this very wonderful and logical rizz tl I have declared shattered joined the battle! I mean harem... so— Epic is such a rizzler he traveled through godam timelines to find a new bitch ..harem member?

Even funnier, I mean more fun, this Shattered killed his own Cross and Epic during the chaotic moments of his corruption ;3 ISN'T THAT FUN? 👁️w👁️

Shattered needs time processing the oddly reindeer like skeleton is similar to the oddly skeleton like reindeer.... I'm sure he'll be fine. Dream needs time to process there's another him— also u know the tension(problems?? I'm learning words gimme a sec) between Error and the Dreamtale twins? It's even worse between him and shattered... just how many times have they held shattered back from killing Error?

Shattered isn't like all that great around the harem.. and a little odd around the reindeer because despite that rizz he's still an oddly reindeer like skeleton similar to the oddly skeleton like reindeer. Aand a little protective over his not brother brother, Nightmare because of should be obvious reasons... But he's having a better time... at least he isnt eternally suffering anymore :( **proceeds to make him suffer more/....j ☺️

#sometimes I feel like a baby learning their first words #I didn't ramble in the tags again yippee :3 (proceeds to ramble in tags) #submission #NOT melons art #sunnymainecoon #SUUUNNNNNY!!!!!!!!! #OH THIS IS PERFECT. MY BRAIN IS FILLING WITH IDEAS #shattered just being thrust into this new world that reminds him so much of his own world #and then seeing his brother (that's from another tl.) and just breaking DOWN #like. shattered DESTROYED his kingdom. and now. for no reason he knows of. everything is fine? #the kingdoms back. his brother's back. everything is perfect again! #then rizz!dream comes along and is like. wtf? and shattered is like. wtf? #like. drm and nm have a vendetta against Error. sure. but shattered wants Error D E A D. #also yeah. shattered would be so confused bout epic. cause wtf? he's a skeleton here? and he's HOT?!??!?? #also shattered being like #“woah. so you're epic is just reindeer hybrid? mine was full reindeer!” #And everyone just being like. “wut 👁️👁️” #also shattered clinging onto nightmare every second he can 😭💔 #OH BUT THEM QUESTIONING SHATTERED'S CROWN!!!!! cause that aint a prince's crown. that's a QUEEN's crown youre wearing. and why u wearing it? #sunny i love your brain and i wanna give it so many kisses #(⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾)🧠 <- me kissing your brain #dreamtale frozen au #frozen au #frozen!au #sanscest #frozen!epic #frozen!shattered #frozen harem au #frozen!dream #frozen!cross

[shhh-secret-time]

To be honest, stardew valley has me in such a chokehold. It always has, even before the 1.6.

In such a way that my brain wants to smash my hyperfixation into it. So late at night I'll be awake thinking of this stardew/south park mashup.

Call that bad boy Star Park AU.

But no brain! Bad! We already have too much going on! You have a Secret Soulmate AU. Fantasy AU, A Cowboy AU story staring Kenny that's still in the outline phase, and these one shots!

(Look at the tags to watch me descent into madness)

#like C'mon #it would be so cute and wholesome #ya know #everything south park isn't #its not my fault I think about me and my friends ocs starting a little farm together #i got one friend I rp with #we smash everything into our stardew rp #it ain't even really stardew besides like the layout of the town #I could write something like that up #like Stan and his family are already “farmers” #the heart event where he tells you he fucking hates it #but next heart event he confesses he's starting to associate farming with you #and now...maybe its not so bad? #COME ON #Kenny taking Karen to see your animals and falling in love with the way you're so gentle with her #Kyle finding you passed out in the mines and scolding you for being careless #but he's patching you up while he does it!!!? #Cartman demanding you bring him crops from your farm because #“everyone elses crops taste like dirt and ball sweat! at least I can stomach yours.” #(its the sweetest thing hes ever said tbh) #tweek having his little coffee shop set up there #he gets away from his parents and moves out to the valley because its quiet! #Craig moves out there to study the stars because they're so clear he can almost see all of them without a telescope #Clyde is JUST Alex and you cant change my mind #after the death of his mother he goes to live with his grandparents #Bebe is like a mix of Haley and Emily! #her events would be you helping her get her outfit designs off the ground and using her photography skills to have you model them #Wendy's whole thing would her being the mayors assistant but over heart events you make her believe in herself #and she becomes mayor; fuck you lewis you old fuck #shhh its a secret

[tackytigerfic]

WIP Snip

still working so hard on getting this finished, still slow as fuck and feeling a bit ashamed of it but i know that's just bad brain thinking. had a bit of good writing news this week too though so it's not all bad. Here's a snip from my multiverse fic where Voldemort didn't die and there's a war raging on, Wolfstar live and they raised Harry, and Draco has just rejoined the Order after seven years abroad in France. Here's a scene with good dad Sirius.

“This—“ Sirius said, waving his hands at Harry “—is what I’m talking about. One of the many things I love about you is that you just say things like this, and you mean them.” He put his warm hand on Harry’s chest. “I sometimes wonder how you've managed to stay so kind, after all you’ve been through. Your parents would love you so much, you know.” “Well,” Harry muttered, voice brusque to hide the tightness in his throat, “they’d have to really, wouldn’t they? Being my parents, and all.” “They’d love you as their son, no matter what, of course. But I mean that they’d love you as a person in your own right, Harry. You’ve grown into a man that anyone would be proud to follow.” Harry put his own hand up to grope for Sirius’s, still resting over his heart, grateful for the darkness. “You’re not following me, though. You’re with me—you, and Moony, and Ron, and Hermione, and everyone. We’re all together in this. We do this side-by-side, it’s why it works. I’m not some big leader like Voldemort set out to be. I’m just the guy who happens to be the one who has to kill him. Everything else is a team effort.” “Oh, Harry,” Sirius said, and then Harry found himself wrapped up in Sirius’s arms, face full of all that fine, silky hair, savouring the warm solid familiar feel of him for a lovely moment, before Sirius let him go again. “Now do you see why we don’t want to let you go off somewhere with Malfoy? We need you.” Harry looked up at the house, at the long dark arm of the east wing, where he knew Malfoy’s bedroom was, a low light still burning as though Malfoy wasn’t expecting to sleep any time soon. He couldn’t tell Sirius that Malfoy needed him, because Malfoy needing him was based on a secret that couldn’t be shared, even with the people Harry loved the most. It wasn’t his to tell. Instead, he reached out again until his hand met Sirius’s forearm, ropey with muscle, always so warm. “I love you, you know,” he said. High above them, at the lighted window, a shadow passed.

#tagging everyone #pls show me your goods #tacky's fth #stupid i know but seeing all the fth posts #realising it's that time of year again and i'm still not finished mine from two years ago #fills me with a horrible feeling #i know creativity is not something you can just switch on #and i know these things take time #maybe it's because there's something a bit lonely about writing a long fic #i mean i am loving it #it's a bit like writing original work too #to an extent you're writing into the void as there's no feedback #it's exciting but daunting #but i wish i could just get the time to finish it #hmm might delete this as i feel like i'm oversharing #anyway thank you if you read this far! #and would love to see anyone else's snips so tag me bb

[theokusgallery]

I freaking love your au and your latest comic because MAN

I FELT THOSE LAST WORDS AND I WAS LIKE "OH FUCK"

First panel was already a bit unsettling itself - like you get it's just intimate manners as you do as a couple but he felt so possessive already and

Sunny's inner thoughts

I'm sure 100% his abandonment anxiety will increase drastically the more he stays with nick and honestly slay

I mean it's kinda obvious

But like I felt that

Yeah

Nick is unhinged

Nick is crazy

Y'all are gay for him

Good 😵💥

Sunny has soooo many issues. So many of them. He's so vulnerable and he makes himself vulnerable to Nick while still being intimidated by him, it's... Dude's got some problems.

#ive talked about mental illness and nick before but not sunny... #well. only a bit. ive said sunny's autistic #but he's also got other problems-- such as abandonment issues as you said #sunny's very insecure in relationships - partly because he has a very limited experience with them #and partly because he has self image issues. #when you grow up as an undiagnosed autistic kid you tend to be very aware you're different while not knowing how to change it #everyone thinks and says you're weird but you have no idea what's weird about you so you can't even try to fit in #a friend of mine told me once that she thought i was so brave for not being scared of being different in middle school #i wasn't. i wasn't brave. i just had no idea why people thought i was weird #sunny in this au knows how deeply different he is from other people but he doesn't know /what/ makes him different or how to change it #and as a result he just doesn't open up very much. he's very reserved and doesnt talk to many people. he has like two friends total #which also conviently makes him easy for nick to isolate #sunny also has bpd! and he gets deeply attached to people who show him any kind of affection very easily #as i mentioned before he also tends to fall for people who intimidate or scare him -- people he sees as mentally superior to him #his self image is constantly oscilliating between 'im the greatest person to have ever lived' and 'im the worst thing to have ever existed' #he's extremely unstable. he has mood swings. he gets obsessive easily. he seeks out relationships with mostly toxic or older people #he doesn't have a good support system. he's socially anxious and an introvert. he's openly trans. most people think he's weird. #he has no stable sense of self. he has panic attacks. he's both hypervigilant and oblivious to lies and attempts at manipulation #all of this makes him a very easy target for someone like nick. #at least- at /least/-- nick genuinely loves him. #ask #tosteur-gluteal #rant #arsenic #i start talking about psychology and i get lost. my apologies

[n0valey-sys]

stealing post because i NEED to post it otherwise id go insane

if you want me to take it down i can @ghostypeppers

#art #character artist #artist #artists on tumblr #freelance #on god if you can only draw the same kind of bodytype you are boring and uncreative #THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT STINTONES BODY TYPES BODY MODIFICATIONS HAIRS CULTURES AND BACKGROUNDS #THAT COULD MAKE YOUR STORIES COME TO LIFE WITH FLAVOR AND CONFLICTS AND LOVE AND STRUGGLES #every single time someone sees decent representation of themselves it makes them happy #and why cant you put in the work and effort to make something/someone new? #even old ocs of mine ive changed from being white and skinny and blonde and indistinguishable facial features to not that #and it has made her so much more interesting and adds more culture that is not mine that i can look and learn and appreciate #take inspiration from in part and make her truely unique from any other character of mine #diversity is a beautiful gorgeous thing and it should not be SHIED AWAY FROM #if you avoid creating different body types and colors and cultures you are doing everyone a disservice. including yourself #no one is going to make you. but if you make yourself then you're going to appreciate it in the long run

[bitegore]

"this character is dead in canon to you, but not to me" well this character is dead as fuck to me. decaying in a hole in the ground. turning pretty putrid colors. to me their absence impacts the narrative in ways canon could not possibly hope to engage with. i'm gonna write so much morbid canon-compliant fanfiction about this character. even if they're not dead in canon they're dead to me. that's how i like it

#red rambles #every so often i see someone say some shit and the edgelord that lives in my brain is like 'noooooooooo' #'but then how do you strip-mine the narrow band of grief in everyone else you're allowed to see?'

[cute-chamomile]

Also thinking about hometowns again because im visiting tomorrow

#evelyn stuff #this place feels like home this place can't fit me anymore #i say 'perfect place to raise a family in' just not mine #things i used to hate (the constant rain/meeting people i know when im just going shopping downtown) being things i look out for now #having moved so much in places where everyone had their customs and their food and finally moving someplace #where the customs and the way of life is finally yours #you're not an outsider looking in you're there #you're learning customs because 'thats how great grandma maria used to do it' #I've lived in thess for longer than i lived in my hometown and yet so many things feel foreign to me still #yes i can never go back. yes if i lived there all the things that annoyed me once will annoy me again #but i still go back to see which part of me still fits #anyway ! central greece folks hmu. im about to eat so many pies and sausage

[todayisafridaynight]

I think the part that annoys me the most about people complaining about Mine still being alive is that people are reacting as if the revived characters in 7 had major plot important roles??? Kashiwagi does a lot, but even then. You can argue back and forth over whether or not it diminishes character deaths, but don’t sit there and act as if the ones brought back are right there on Ichiban’s party and having new stories about them. It’s pretty obnoxious, honestly. The QRTs of the Tweet are either fans shouting in glee or acting like everything is over.

i personally think RGG should just pull a kingdom hearts 3 and bring back every dead bitch ever just for laughs

#snap chats #on the real tho yeah.... #i dont like to talk bout drama cause that shit got me tired But Since You Asked 👁️👁️ #it's the same grievances i had with people crying and complaining about majima supposedly not having a big role in LaD8 #like mfer nothing's even OUT YET if you're going to complain can we at least wait for the game to come out and see what's up #and yeah characters that did survive don't do anything major- which i love it's hilarious and i hope if they do bring mine back #they do that for him as well since Again that'd be funny as all christ #what i've learned from being a part of rgg twt is that absolutely no one likes to have fun LMAO #like everyones so uppity good lord #s'why i share all my deranged postings with you guys <3

[coollyinterferes]

//pov ur about to get mugged

#[*al//as/ka's vc: hiiiii~] #[the speeb figure is so precious in pics AND in real life i swear] #[just seeing him sitting on his gay ass right next to my laptop gives me so much serotonin <3 <3] #[if you're planning to order his figure. yes!! i 10000% recommend it!!! the re-release is coming out later this year i think!!] #[anywaysss. this week has been absolute hell but on the bright side i managed to get a bunch of replies (almost) done] #[i kinda want to make a mo/the/r's day post covering some hcs about jona's and speeb's moms but idk if i'll be able to] #[bc of the teehee emotional baggage ;v; ] #[we'll see i guess] #[hope everyone's having a nice day/night! <3] #[and happy mo/the/r's day to everyone who celebrates!] #[also. pic edit is not mine. i snatched it from twitter a long time ago i think???] #;speedwagon withdraws coolly

[arsonist-chicken]

Ugh I love my friend so much, we met like seven years ago and were close for a while until covid fucked the whole group chat over and being in contact became rarer, and now we met by coincidence in a sports class I was just about ready to quit and just then she walked in through the door, so now I just have to go and we see each other at least once a week, this week even twice for food, and she says thank you for waiting for the bus with her like she's not the one letting me talk her ear off and like I wouldn't happily stand in the cold for an hour if it meant I got to spend more time with her and get a hug goodbye 🥺

#whatever deity made us meet again that randomly ilu what sacrifice do you want #also let this be the point in life i will look back at in the future and say yeah life was still shit but reconnecting and regularly meeting #her was a light on shitty days and in shittier weeks and perhaps really all we do need is love in any form #mine #isa if you see this- well you're allowed to; i'm posting it publically #also i'm so bad at aerial hoop but it doesn't matter because it's fun and i meet a friend and the other girls there are really nice and #supportive if i don't manage to get up on the ring when everyone else does #go do sports with a friend it really is good motivation

[phoenixiancrystallist]

"You've flowers in your hair," Astra said, and Susurrus turned to her, a wide grin on his face.

"A helm fit only for the bravest and most noble of warriors, milady," he said, melodramatic and overflowing with delight. The child riding on his shoulders giggled as she wove yet another blossom into his coppery locks. Astra found herself staring, in part admiring the contrast of the delicate, slightly squished blooms against the regal lines and planes of his handsome face. And yet, she also found herself captivated by the way he interacted with the children. Susurrus was the most powerful combative mage in the armies under her command, ruthless and efficient on the battlefield. Yet here he was, children dangling off of him and a smile fit to outshine the sun swallowing his hazel eyes.

Another child hit him at the knees and he tumbled, careful and controlled so as not to harm the little ones that clung to his arms. Astra did not see how it was done, but despite no less than two gangly, uncoordinated bodies weighing each limb down, Susurrus managed to flip the child riding his shoulders so that she landed on his chest. His rich, sonorous laughter rang around the plaza like bells, accompanied by the raucous laughter of the children.

"I've been felled!" Susurrus said through his laughter, and the young lad who'd downed him leapt onto him, a battle cry in his throat that sent the other children scrambling. "Have mercy, have mercy!"

Astra found herself giggling as the other children ran past her, dispersing themselves around the plaza and hiding in garden beds and flowering bushes to prepare for a merry game of chase. But she had need of Susurrus, and so clapped her hands to get the children's collective attention focused on her.

"Come along now," she said, "don't you all have lessons to attend?"

The unanimous whine that met her words forced her to smother a smile. But a stern glance from Susurrus sent them scattering to the winds, off to seek some other entertainment for the day. Astra offered her hands to Susurrus to help him up, marveled at the warmth and gentleness in them belied by the rough calluses and scars he'd earned through battle.

"Bad news?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair. Each flower dislodged was gathered and carefully cradled in his free hand, held tenderly so as not to crush them.

"Nothing we hadn't anticipated," Astra assured him, even as her eyes tracked a delicate, yellow, star-shaped blossom. He noticed her attention on the bloom, and reached out to tuck it behind her ear. Though the gentle smile he gave her held a hint of harsh steel underneath, Astra breathed easier to see it.

#WIPpets (WIP snippets) #bobbi's being weird again #forspoken #forspoken fanfic #forspoken susurrus #first tanta #forspoken oc #forspoken original character #oc: astra #Astra is the First Tanta #in case that previous post of mine was missed #so that makes her technically an OC but technically not an OC #fleshed out minor canon characters ftw #also Rheddah is in civil war and Astra is leading the people trying to break from Rheddah that will eventually become Athia #and Susurrus is going to have a way worse time than he's having here by the time I'm done :P #you're not seeing much of his personality here; it's more focusing on Astra and how she sees him #also he's putting on a bit of a show for the kids #also also his name might not stay Susurrus for this but it makes a handy-dandy placeholder for now #I don't imagine the Rheddig would let him KEEP his name when they rip him from everyone he loves and sacrifice him to make a weapon #(I didn't technically break my promise to @radiantgarden! I am indeed posting this after I made and consumed dinner!!! #I'm just... I got distracted drawing Demyx XD)

[saitoakirachan-fangirls]

When talking to an Azula hater: She's fourteen, she's abused, she's awesome, she deserves better, she's allowed to murder if she wants

When talking to an Azula stan: She's ruthless, she uses people without care, she abuses her brother and her friends, she's fucking evil, she doesn't get a free pass just because you like her

#atla #my feelings on azula depends on outside forces lol #not really #it's more that i don't like the way extreme azula defenders tend to characterize everyone else #they always have to argue that azula is actually completely normal and morally fine #she's not even bad #actually the gaang are the evil ones for real #she's just acting totally reasonably as she should 🥺 #and then those people complain that people woobify zuko especially but also the gaang #as if they didn't just do the same to azula #and I like her #she's an abused 14 yo who does horrifying shit because she was raised into it #so I dislike azula haters who characterize her as nothing more than pure evil #though I've rarely seen the latter because i'm on tumblr and ao3 all the time #and the former is more common on here #especially if you're a zuko fan #you rarely see azula hate on my corner of the fandom #azula #mine #akira original

[bisekcual]

rue goes off on their own, maybe to live in the court of craft, not lonely necessarily, surrounded by friends, but feeling particular absences at both their left side and their right. hob remains by lady syl's side, withering but fully believing rue had lied to him about their feelings. wuvvy remains in the court of wonder, cleaning up from the last bloom and preparing the next, diving herself head-first into her work to forget herself, as she always tries to.

wuvvy tries to hide behind the master of ceremonies title to avoid rue at the next bloom (suddenly she understands the strategy rue had assumed for most of their existence, how lovely a shield it can be, to pretend one is being called away when one is simply running), ends up literally dipping from some indoor event or other, maybe a themed dinner, only to step outside the palace to find hob smoking out on the steps by himself, which. when did he start smoking? and why does he look so drained when he tilts his head to look at her, then just turns back to the night sky above them? a political marriage for an old soldier. isn't that the good ending? better than martyrdom, right? right?

hob holds his cigarette up to wuvvy. and that is all it is. a cigarette. wuvvy stares at the red pin of it burning for a moment before she steps forward, plucks it from his clawed fingers, and takes a long drag. she sits down. neither of them speak. both of them are breathing the same smoke. it probably says something that neither of them cough.

"sorry for poisoning you," wuvvy says after the third or fourth pass, remembering their duel.

hob just sniffs. "it was fair play."

they pass back and forth until the nub of the cigarette is almost embarrassing to keep holding onto. hob inspects it for a moment, watching it sizzle out against itself, probably thinking about eating it. he just flicks it out into the night. they sit out there still longer, though the excuse both of them are hinging their absence on is now ash mixing with dirt on the ground before them.

there is a kind of bitter solidarity to it. neither would necessarily have sought the other out for comfort, but each can tell that the other is avoiding something inside. wuvvy finds herself wishing she had a cigarette of her own to offer the captain - the major, she remembers, blinking toward him inquisitively - just to keep the moment going. just another cigarette. just a passing of their mutual stresses silently between each other's mouths.

hob has not looked at her since he flicked out the cigarette. he's staring out somewhere into the distance. wuvvy follows his gaze, squinting into the night, and she thinks it might be somewhere toward the seafoam court, but she can't be sure.

"do you ever think about it?" hob asks after a moment.

his voice is gravelly and deep. wuvvy looks toward him, waiting for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. admittedly, he doesn't need to. what else has there been to think about, really, ever since it all happened? that bloom. that terrible, wonderful bloom. "all the time," she admits.

hob sighs heavily. the volume and force of it reminds wuvvy of a working animal, like a draft horse. she wonders how big and how pink his lungs are. he says nothing more than that.

some time passes before eventually he stands, heads in first, what a mercy. as he does, he hesitates inside the door. only turning his head halfway toward her, he says, "take your time. i'll find some excuse for you."

the door closes behind him with a heavy click before wuvvy can even think to thank him. she stares at the wood for a moment, then leans her elbows on her knees and rests her face in her hands. she wishes she had had another cigarette.

#kpruevvy #kpvvy #smoking cw #cigarettes cw #mine #text #idk i'm just rambling in this but. do you see the vision. i'm so sleepy. #this is basically the polar opposite energy to conrad's kpvvy blunt-smoking fic. and also a callback (FOR ME) to my drawing of wuvvy #sitting outside the masquerade ball smoking a cigarette after rue tucked a peony into hob's ear. #listen to me. both of them are heartbroken over the same person. both of them knew to one extent or another that they weren't over rue when #they came to this bloom. but they didn't fully realize it until they were forced into a confined space with the sword they both impaled #themselves on and well. chivalry died on its sword. and now they're hiding on the doorstep. #edit: if you're reading this im writing more of it. see 'everyone secretly wants' on ao3 for the prologue