#So now I'm doubting everything like is it just me am I annoying am I a pain to deal and play with lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

charmedreincarnation · 4 months

Text

Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @inspirelightwork

instagram

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #my asks

474 notes · View notes

rosebudfics · 4 months

Note

hii ♡ may i request for a severus x f!reader where she isn't feeling her best about her body (if u're uncomfy with that it could be any other reason!) so she cuddles on sev's lap and he comforts her, but then it turns into riding and lots of praising ? 🥰 thank u so much in advance if u can do it !! <3

You're beautiful, don't forget that

Husband!Snape x Wife! Reader

Warnings: self doubt, swearing, reader is self conscious of her body (I tried my best to make the body type varied so it wasn't too specific), face riding, p in v riding, slight overstimulation, let me know if I missed anything <3

A/N: i am OBSESSED with this idea. I love it so so much!! Hope i did it justice

You were having a horrible day. You were tired, and on top of that you caught yourself staring in the mirror too long. The more you stared, the more imperfect features appeared. One eye was slightly more droopy than the other, your nose looked too big/small, you couldn't look down without a double chin showing, you were starting to get smile lines and wrinkles, your stomach had that annoying pudge/shallow look, and so many other things.

Why couldn't you just have a perfect body? You couldn't help but feel like your husband, Severus, would start not being physically attracted to you. You knew he loved you, but where would the spark be if he didn't love your body just as much?

You vision started to blur as you felt tears start to appear, but you jumped and quickly wiped away your tears when you heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Are you alright in there?" You heard Severus speak softly.

"Y-yes, I'm fine just give me a second!" You cringed at the voice crack, and cleared your throat, wiping away any excess tears. Severus frowned to himself when he heard your voice, but waited until you opened the door. You opened the door and did your best to smile up at him, and leaned up, kissing him gently.

"Hello, darling," You then wrapped your arms around him, hiding your face in his chest.

Severus smiled gently, holding you as he stroked your hair. But then he furrowed his brows. "Love, are you sure you're okay..? You can tell me if something has upset you,"

You stayed quiet for a moment, before whispering so quiet that he had barely caught it. "Do you still find me attractive..?"

"What kind of silly question is that?" He pulled away slightly and grabbed your chin, making you look up at him. Severus then saw the tears welling up in your eyes. "Y/N, you are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes upon. How could you think so lowly of yourself?" He was mad at himself for not showing you how much he found you attractive, sexy, just beautiful in every way.

You let out a soft sob. "I-I'm sorry, I've just... I don't feel pretty. There's so many things that are wrong with my face, I just don't understand why I can't be like all the other women. I-I-" You were cut off by Severus kissing you as he caressed your cheek.

"Y/N, my love, I know what that can feel like... trust me I do." He then suddenly picked you up, bringing you over to the bed and he rested your head in his lap so you were looking up at him. "But I need you to know that you are beautiful, inside and out. Everything about you. Your eyes, your face, your body.." He ran his hands down your arms.

You just stared up at him, amazed that you could find such a man as wonderful as him. What did you ever do to deserve him?

"Do you understand now? That you are stunning?" Severus asked, softly caressing your face with his finger tips. You nodded, lips parted slightly before you grabbed his hand and kissed his palm.

"I love you so much, Sev..." You whispered, leaning your face into his hand. He smiled. "I love you too."

You both sat like that for a while, enjoying each other's touch, before you climbed up to sit in his lap properly. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and you started to kiss him softly. You felt Severus place his hands on your hips, kissing you back passionately.

You started to gently rut your hips against him, and you heard a low groan from him. You smirk slightly, and start to rut more.

"Please.. let me see you without these," Severus whispered lowly as he pulls on the waist band of your pants, as if he had never seen you naked before. Even though this definitely wasn't your guys's first time, he never failed to make your stomach do a back flip.

You stood up off of him, and started to strip until you were just in panties. You waited until he had removed his own clothes before straddling him again. Severus gripped your waist. "Look at those pretty hips... so beautiful, so perfect for me.." He whispered in your ear before kissing your jaw.

You let out a shaky breath, feeling your core getting hotter by the minute. "Can I take these off..?" He asked, tugging at your panties. You responded with a nod, and he slowly pulled them down off your legs and threw them with the rest of your clothes. You felt him then run his fingers from your clit to the bottom of your slit, earning a soft moan from you.

He smirked before laying down more on the bed, and pulling you over so your core was directly above his face. You gripped the headboard as you blushed, looking down at him. Severus then pulled you down, and he started to lick your slit. You let out a loud moan, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt his nose nudge against your clit.

You reached down and gently gripped his head, before you started to rock your hips slightly into his face. He grabbed your thighs, pushing you down further into his mouth. He licked and sucked, and started to rub a thumb on your clit as he pushed his tongue inside of you. You let out a gasp, followed by stuttered moans.

Severus rubbed his thumb faster, causing your thighs to shake and clench around his head. You didn't want to hurt him so you did your best to not crush him. "S-sorry.. f-fuck!" You groaned.

He pulled away for a second, thumb still working your clit. "Don't ever apologise love, if I were to die I would love to go out that way.. getting crushed by these wonderful thighs on yours," He smirked, and shoved his tongue back into you.

You giggled, but were interrupted by a loud moan when you felt a knot forming in your stomach. You were gasping for breath as you arched your back, gripping the headboard until your knuckles turned white. You then felt that knot snap, and you let out a cry of pleasure as your thighs shook, followed by soft whimpers as you calmed down.

Severus had swallowed everything, before tapping your thigh so you could let him get up. You fell back onto his stomach, legs weak due to the intense orgasm you just had. You leaned back, and felt something poking your low back. Your eyes widened slightly but you smirked.

"We can't forget about you, can we?" You said, before shuffling back so he could sit up as he chuckled. He gestured that you would sit in his lap, and you obliged, wrapping your legs around his waist. He reached around, running his fingers through your slit to gather your juices, and rubbed his cock in them.

"Ready?" He whispered, rubbing your back with his free hand. You nodded, and he pushed himself inside, letting out a guttural moan. You whimpered and rested your forehead on his shoulder, still feeling slightly overstimulated due to your recent orgasm.

He let you adjust, before grabbing your hips and softly lifting you up and down. You were letting out little gasps and whines, digging your fingernails in his forearm when he sped up. "F-fuck... You're perfect. perfect for me, perfect in every way.." Severus whispered in your ear as he bounced you up and down on his cock.

You didn't realise it, but tears started to well in your eyes again from gratefulness, and it didn't take you long before you started to clench around him due to overwhelming feelings.

He let out a loud groan. "If you keep clenching like that.. I-I'm gonna.. gonna-" Severus went silent, then let out a loud groan, moaning as he released inside of you, and the feeling of it caused you to reach your second climax, and you let out a squeal, biting down on your tongue to try not to be so loud.

You both sat like that for a moment, heavily breathing and calming down from the high. You kissed his cheek, wrapping your arms around him as you sighed in content. He traced his hands along your hips as he whispered, "You're beautiful.. don't forget that."

#severus snape #professor snape #pro snape #severus snape x reader #severus x reader #severus x y/n #severus x you #severus snape imagine #pro severus #severus snape x y/n #severus snape smut #smut #snape smut #severus x you smut

348 notes · View notes

cryinhell · 9 months

Text

so no one asked for this, but here's a post about my favorite Hazbin Hotel ships ( romantic and platonic) and what I hope they explore with them in the show.

1) Huskerdust/Angelhusk/Casino Hearts (Romantic)

Obviously, I got to start with my favorite romantic pairing in the fandom. Angel and Husk are my favorite characters in the HelluvaVerse, and both mean a lot to me. They are both old men born around the same time with a lot in common, and I know they would be close buds. From everything we have gotten in canon( fake instagrams which are not canon but in character, the fun hunicast streams, viv admitting to shipping them and allowing huskerdust into the merch, the fact that Husk was made to be Angel's bestie, and a lot of unnecessary information I know lmao, I do not doubt these two will be canon. I can't wait to see their friendship grow and all the trials and tribulations they will go through to become better for themselves and each other. And hopefully, the fun shenanigans that they do because I love me some shenanigans.

2) RadioHusk (Platonic)

Okay, so Husk's relationships with everyone interests me, but this one is probably the most after AngelHusk. It's clear these two have a past and that Alastor is comfortable enough with Husk to be incredibly annoying around him. Alastor is Husk's boss and most likely owns his soul, but there's also a strange bond between them I really want explored. I think Al loves Husk in a platonic and weird way because he's most likely his best friend, but Alastor may not be able to always express this normally. Husk is a good guy and a bit complacent, so he just deals with this shitheads nonsense and doesn't seem to fear him. Maybe there's some fucked up things between them and maybe their friendships has cons and pros. I'm not entirely sure, but I can't wait to find out

3) Angel and Vaggie (Platonic)

Okay, most of these are platonic ships, but whatever friendships are important. I love these two judgemental assholes and the way they judge people together. It truly is gay and lesbian solidarity, heh. They are gonna be the best of frienemies, and I can't wait for their relationship to be explored.

4) Voxval (Romantic)

Okay, I hate these bastards with a burning passion, but that doesn't mean their relationship does not interest me. Vox, Val, and Velvette are going to be the main villains of Hazbin Hotel, and without knowing too much about them, I'm excited. I want to know how Val and Vox are going to be as a couple. Since the instagram accounts are not canon, it is hard to tell if Val will be abusive or not. This is a possibility since the accounts seemed to be in character, but I want a different approach. I think it would be interesting for these two to genuinely love and respect each other and no one else. To see themselves as the true rightful kings of Hell and work together to destroy and belittle whoever they deem below them. It's an interesting dynamic that I prefer more than just "Val is abusive to poor baby Vox" cause Vox is also evil, and I want him to do evil shit.

5) Chaggie (Romantic)

There's not much to say about these two. I just think they are cute, and I want to see more of them.

6) The Hazbin Gang (Platonic)

And lastly, I can't wait to see how all of these fuckers get along and interact. As a group, I'm sure they will be very entertaining and I will enjoy every minute of it. Also, I am including Pentious because I know he's part of the main cast now, and I love that. Can't wait for these idiots to try and make this hotel work and hopefully grow together in the process.

406 notes · View notes

cheeseceli · 8 months

Text

What Do You Even Know?

Pairing: Hyunjin x gn!reader

Genre: fluff, friends to lovers, small drabble

Words: 765

summary: Hyunjin finally realises he doesn't know as much as he thought he did, and he once again discovers something new

request: I can’t help but think of Hyunjin telling someone how much they mean to him as basically a confession and the other person is kind of shy about it and didn’t think he could see them like that and he’s like “ahhh what do you even know” it won’t leave my head 🤞

authors note: tumblr hates me atp i swear. anyways, not proofread as always but yeah

Hyunjin thought he knew a lot. Of course, he wasn't cocky enough to think he knew everything, but he wasn't clueless either. He knew he loved to perform and to be on stage. He knew he liked to eternalise moments through art and photographs. He knew the boys were his family after living together day after day for 5 years. And he knew you.

He knew he loved your smile and would make anything on his power to keep it on your face. He knew he loved your laugh even though you hated it, and he knew it would physically hurt him everytime you tried to silence it. He knew he hated seeing you cry, and it was so unfair because even then you looked beautiful. He knew he was happier by your side. But he didn't know why.

Hyunjin always had a curious nature, so he couldn't help but wonder why you were so… different. No, he was the different one whenever he was next to you. But you were so casual abou it that he doubted you felt it too. Have someone else noticed it? He acted differently around you, he was sure, but why would-

"Hyunjin?"

He looked at you when he heard your voice. Actually, using better wording, he focused on you once you called his name, as he was already looking at you while he was thinking. He noticed your eyes, how they were shining even when the lighting was bad. Your eyes would've looked so pretty if they weren't filled with worry.

"What?" he replied with a slightly hoarse voice, noticing he probably didn't say anything in a while.

"You looked a little bit lost in thought just now. Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

You gave him a small smile, a smile that immediately took some weight off his shoulders.

"Nothing much, I was just rambling about some annoying coworkers. What were you thinking about?"

He tried to articulate his thoughts. Truth is, he didn't know what he was thinking about. Right now, his mind was blank and all he could focus on was the domesticity of the situation. It was a friday night at the dorm. It was too late for you to go back to your home, and even though he didn't say anything, you both knew he was silently asking for you to stay the night. The lights were off and the living room was being iluminated by the moon. Your legs were resting on top of him, his hand slowly caressing your skin. He was thinking about it all. He was thinking about…

"You."

You were taken aback by his blunt words. You didnt't expect him to be so straightforward. And you'd never expect him to think about you so intensely.

"Oh? Care to explain?"

"Just, you know, how I've changed since I met you." He averted your eyes from you, knowing you were observing him, searching for a more detailed explanation "I don't know, I feel like… like I've changed for better?"

He dared to look at you once again. You were watching him so dearly that he felt that he could lose himself on your features once more. Just like that, he understood why he felt so good by your side.

"Yeah, I've definetly become a better person because of you. I am more aware lately. I'm enjoying my life more. I think it's because I get to live it with you."

You were speechless. Even though he didnt't look at you throughout his somewhat confession, you could still feel the genuine feeling behind each word he said. You chuckled, not knowing what to say.

"Wow, I… didn't know you thought of me like this. I'm touched." you said, half in a whisper, half in a giggle, still processing what had been said to you.

It was Hyunjin's turn to laugh lightheartedly to your words, the meaning of his speech sinking in meanwhile he slowly realised what was happening to him, to you both.

"What do you even know…"

Later on, you'd finally realise what he meant with those last words. For now, he was enjoying, aware of the warmth your body radiated towards him. Because now he knew he liked the way you cared for him and why he'd have a smile whenever you crossed his mind. It's because he loves every detail about you, every flaw, quality and insecurity. Above all, he loved you, and now he knew it.

Feedbacks and reblogs are always appreciated!

Header by @cafekitsune as always

365 notes · View notes

artistic-intrxvert · 1 year

Note

Hello! Now I'm curious because I'm clingy-

How do you think Tsukasa and Hanako would be with a S/O who's really clingy? Like, constantly holding their hand, only pausing to do something then right back to holding their hand. Overall just really physically affectionate

If you would like to add a little ✨spice✨, what would they do if their S/O is really clingy and loving but represses it because they're terrified of hurting the bois? Like genuinely wants to just latch onto them in the hall while walking to their next class but they don't because ✨anxiety✨

Hello again👀 I am super excited about this one because I am like this haha- I hope i got everything right! Let me know if I didn't. Enjoy! :D

Warnings: none!

Proofread: yep!

Prompt: Hanako and Tsukasa who has a S/O who's really clingy

Hanako

Oh boy

Can and will tease the living crap out of you and I hope you don't mind that because if so, start getting used to it!

He loves that you constantly try to hold his hand or always wanting hugs or other physical affection

He finds it adorable!!

If you want the affection, he will provide! But with teasing, of course

If you are holding his hand for a while and let go to go grab something, he will understand but might pout a little bit

Once you come back and hold his hand again, he will tease you saying something like "I knew you would come back. You are just so clingy, aren't you (Name)?"

If you are ever shy because you think that you will hurt or annoy him, he will cup your face and tell you that you can never annoy him and give a peck on the forehead

Walking to class and you want a hug but to shy to ask for it? Boom, he's clinging onto you the whole time

Want cuddles while your in class? He's got you covered

What Hanako will never admit is that one time he teared up over the fact that you cared so much about him that you wanted to constantly hold him

You walked in and asked him what's wrong and gave him an affirming hug

He broke down more

Overall, he's going to tease the living daylights out of you but thinks it is the sweetest thing! And if you ever have to think twice about doing it, he can and will constantly remind you with kisses <3

Tsukasa

Tsukasa will also tease you! Maybe not as much as Hanako but he will still give you a little tease

Most often times he will give you hugs and whenever you return them he just

Pikachu face

Will hug you tighter and if you hug him tighter back, will start leaving kisses all over your face

He's so excited that he has someone that's as clingy as he is!

If you ever let go of his hand to go grab something he will feel sad and upset. He will most likely pout

But when you come back and start holding his hand again he will forget that he was pouting and just latch himself back onto you

If you are ever shy about giving affection because he might be annoyed or get upset with you, he will stare you down with those dark eyes he has and says very firmly, "You can never annoy me, (Name). You know that, right?"

Sakura is just

Exhausted at this point

Somebody start paying her- she deserves it-

If you are walking to class and want affection but are too scared to ask

Don't even show signs of it, he's constantly clinging to you so I don't think you'd have this problem!

All in all Tsukasa is just as if not more clingy and will occasionally tease you but most likely not. If you ever doubt whether you should give him affection or not, dark eyes will assure you <3

#tbhk #tbhk x reader #jshk #jshk x reader #tsukasa yugi x reader #tsukasa x reader #tsukasa yugi #hanako kun x reader #hanako x reader

1K notes · View notes

unreliablesnake · 1 year

Note

I’ve got to know what it’s like to try and divorce Vincent. Love your work 🥰

Note: You know what? I wanted to know too. (Oh, and thank you ❤️)

“I want a divorce,” you stated as you handed him the papers.

There was no malice in your voice, you did your best to keep it as neutral as possible. You were afraid of his reaction, mostly because you had a feeling he wouldn't let you get away that easily.

And just as you expected, his jaw tightened as he took the papers and looked down at them, going through each page to see what it was all about. “Marital breakdown? Really?” he asked when he reached the part about the ground for the divorce.

You could have chosen mutual consent, but because of your dear husband, you didn't expect this option to work. So you took a risk, and apparently he wasn't happy with that either. Well, you doubted he would have been happy with any reason at all.

“Just sign it. I don't want anything from you,” you added.

Vincent threw the papers on his desk and took a step closer to you. “I won't sign this, don't even think about it,” he hissed as he looked down at you, eyeing you as if you had just stabbed him in the heart and twisted the knife.

“Please, don't make this more complicated than it should be. Just let me go,” you asked him. “We don't have a child, and like I said, I don't want anything from you. This should be a walk in the park if you sign it.”

“I am not going to sign anything,” he repeated, punctuating each and every word carefully in hopes of his message finally getting through to you. “And why do you want to leave me? Do you have someone waiting for you to be free of me?”

His question surprised you, because you didn't think he would ever have doubts about your fidelity. “Don't be ridiculous, I'm not having an affair. I just had enough of this between us.”

Letting out a sigh, he leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips. When you pushed him away, he let out an annoyed groan. “I gave you everything, mon amour, how can that not be enough for you? What more do you want?”

“I don't want anything from you, Vincent. Just sign the papers, please. I want to leave Paris tonight,” you admitted almost guiltily. You didn't want to leave so abruptly, but you simply couldn't stay here any longer.

You watched as he took a deep breath then began to pace in front of you, his hand finding its way to his hair. “Tonight? You want to leave me tonight? It's two in the afternoon!” he said, raising his voice.

“I know it's sudden, but I'm suffocating. I've been thinking about this for weeks, and–”

“Weeks?” he interrupted you angrily. “You've been thinking about ending our marriage for weeks and you're just telling me now on the day you want to leave me?”

It wasn't fair, you knew that. But you also knew that if you had given him time to process it, he would have used it to change your mind, to convince you to stay despite your decision. And he could have manipulated you until you agreed to stay with him, which you obviously didn't want.

“Just sign the papers. My lawyer will jump in to get them tomorrow,” you told him, then walked out of the room without waiting for his response.

#vincent de gramont x reader #vincent de gramont #marquis vincent de gramont x reader #marquis vincent de gramont #marquis de gramont x reader #marquis de gramont #john wick chapter 4 #john wick 4

790 notes · View notes

tanith-rhea · 1 year

Note

Hey! i have a smuty request hehe

you're Larissa's roommate and one day when she entered your shared room she finds you masturbating moaning her name... and well I leave it in your hand how this develops

if you're not comfortable writing this or simply don't want to is absolutely okey!

Unexpected Finds

Author's note: I'm horrendously sorry for the amount of time this took me. If you stook around, you'll see your request is the first thing I wrote in a loooooong while. Word count: 2.9k

“You are horrible at this,” Riss murmured with a teasing smile.

“To be fair, I told you I was, and you doubted it,” her nails were longer than yours; it wasn’t difficult to keep yours manicured but Larissa had long, nicely shaped nails and you had no practice with those. “Why are you complaining anyway? You can simply make them look however you want!”

“Did I complain? I think I simply made a remark on your disastrous attempt at painting them, that’s all.”

“Ok, shush!” her rumbling chuckle quickly had you both laughing even though you tried your very best to look pissed and not charmed.

Larissa had the ability to make everything she did look incredibly alluring or adorable. Not just textbook hot things or her cute nose scrunches and fond smiles. But hearing her yawn at eleven pm while studying for an exam you knew she could give a lecture about; her rambling and muttering under her breath at how insufferable some people were; her rare fits of anger which she would try not to show but would turn her knuckles white and make her respond to every comment pissily. It was all endearing when it was her who did it.

“I’m just trying to support you in learning new skills,” she shrugged like it was the simplest of truths, and she wasn’t at all very amused by the entire situation.

“Thank you so much for sponsoring my personal growth,” you rolled your eyes but smiled. Her own smiling features turned softer, the slight mocking turning fond like it so often did lately. She had no idea the effect it had on you.

“Sadly, although I appreciate your interest in my learnings, I think we should sleep. I know you’ll blame me if you wake up late tomorrow and it’s almost midnight.”

Despite your tender feelings towards Larissa, you couldn’t help but be a little annoyed at the changes she helped you mature into. Two months ago, you’d have kept her awake and laughing until three AM, trying to make her forget tomorrow you had class and spend more time with you. Now, you knew how important Larissa’s routine was for her and just wanted to be good for her, even if it meant giving up on pitiful attempts at doing her make-up or being teased for looking “so cute” with puppy-eye eyeliner.

She hummed, moving the notebooks, nail polish and other miscellaneous mess from the bed to the floor.

“If you say so,” she smiled again, still fond, but there was something in her eyes like puzzlement and you had no idea what it meant. “Care to make space?”

You bit your lip to avoid smiling too much, before putting your hair over one shoulder and laying down so Larissa could make herself comfortable on your chest. It had become a habit ever since your first “girl’s night” when you woke up like this and found you both liked it well enough.

Of course, you had the suspicion you liked it far more than she did, being so hopelessly attracted to her, but that hardly changed anything. If she didn’t mind waking up nuzzling your neck, with her limbs all over you like an octopus, you wouldn’t be the one to complain.

“Sweet dreams, Riss,” you whispered, subconsciously turning off the light.

“Will have,” was all she mumbled, knowing not to wish you any dreams at all, and your heart skipped a beat at that like it always did.

You woke up feeling warm. The pleasant smell of the shared covers blossomed comfort and familiarity in your chest as you inhaled deeply.

Larissa’s warm soft skin was all around you. Her nose was buried in your neck, her parted lips ghosting over where it met your shoulder and breathing heat softly against it.

As usual, her limbs encased you in a trap you didn’t mind not escaping from. Her arm was slung over you, hand so close to your face that a turn of your head would have your cheek pressed on her elegant fingers. But one thing was different.

You didn’t sleep together often. In the trimester you’d been roommates, you had only five slumber parties, and only on the last four of them did you share a bed on purpose. And, as you weren’t one to move a lot while sleeping, the likelihood of you cuddling her was relatively small compared to the other way around. But this time, it appeared your body wanted closer proximity, and your leg had welcomed hers between yours, as your hand rested on the exposed skin of her lower back. Larissa seemed to be blessedly content to continue sleeping, but you couldn’t know if she’d wake up when you tried to disentangle yourself. You partially didn’t want to, but it would be horribly awkward if she came to feeling warm wetness on her knee.

You were robbed of a choice by her stirring awake with a long, content intake of breath. Panic ran through your veins while her muscles tensed in that particular way while she stretched, leg going stiff and tortuously pressing against you while she hummed in your neck.

“G’mornin,” she grumbled, laying on her stomach almost completely on top of you.

“Good morning, person who’s trying to turn me into a pancake,” you joked to diverge her attention. Did she not notice? Was this the universe having mercy on you?

Her rumbling laugh immediately against your chest hurt as if your lungs were filled with more air than they were capable of managing and you wished you could hug her, press her onto the bed and drown her in kisses.

“Hardly my fault when you’re more comfortable than the bed.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

She chuckled, “You’ll have to trust my impeccable taste, I guess,” her still hoarse voice felt almost like velvet as she half-whispered, and you could feel the warmth of her breath on your neck, lingering for a second.

With her there, in that fraction of a moment, still, as if waiting, you wondered if you should do something. Was she expecting you to? You wanted to feel the warm skin underneath her pyjamas, hold her against you with purpose, splay your palm and fist her hair, and bring her up to you. You wanted to press your leg between hers as well, see if she’d have the same reaction, if she’d make a sound-

With a sharp inhale, Larissa got up on her elbow, looking at the pillow beside your head instead of your face and smiled sheepishly.

“Unfortunately, some of us chose lycanthrope history over vampiric, so I’ll have to leave my personal mattress and get ready,” she tilted her eyebrow, but still avoided eye contact, and you couldn’t help but frown.

“Not my fault they like to wake up early, maybe next semester you should consider joining me in night classes,” you winked, deciding to let it go and at least make Larissa laugh a little before leaving.

“I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate,” she smiled, though, and put some books in her backpack without really looking at them, “But I’ll consider astronomy for the sake of staying in bed longer.”

You could see her in astronomy class. For all Larissa’s attempts to look practical and cynical, you’ve learned just how much of a dreamer she was, an idealist, she’d fit right in with the precise wonder of it.

“…with me?” you half-joked, trying your best at an impish, non-expectant, smile.

“You wish,” was all she said, and disappeared behind her folding screen to change into her uniform. You watched as her pyjamas were draped over the division, the rattling of fabric gentle and allusive, making your mind wander until you almost didn’t notice her saying bye.

Being her roommate was the best thing to happen to you in Nevermore. It was also the most tortuous experience one could put you through. You were still aching from moments ago, the memory of Larissa’s clothes coming off behind the screen, the pressure of her body on yours. She must have known, it was near impossible she wouldn’t notice your dilated pupils and flushed skin. Maybe that was why she left without even doing her hair.

Fuck, her hair. She was out there with long waves down, possibly for the first time in her three years at Nevermore. How would it look in the wind? You knew how it looked over her shoulders, whiter than her skin but just as soft.

Your thigh muscles tightened. You could feel an all too incriminating pulsing between them. She wasn’t here to see… it wouldn’t hurt her. You had done it before with her in your mind, but never after moments like this, they felt so familiar that all you could feel when she left was the heartache of not having her. Today was different. Today she left and you felt the ache of not having her against you, not having trapped her underneath you and sought what you needed.

Your pathetic moan when you finally slid your fingers into your panties could have made you laugh, however, all you could feel were tears of relief running down your temple. Your fingers were immediately soaked, you couldn’t remember being this slick in a long time and would be impressed if it wasn’t so maddeningly frustrating.

You pictured her on top of you, her fingers instead of yours massaging your clit and teasing you under her breath. Planting kisses on your shoulders and neck, skirting around your breasts with a sharp smile and making you squirm in anticipation.

It hadn’t been five minutes and you could already feel your orgasm building. Hell if she’d stayed just a few seconds longer, if she had pressed just a little more, you were certain it would have happened then; with her breath on your neck and her warmth and her smell. You were so close just thinking about it- Larissa…

“Oh my-” The loud sound of your bedroom door being shut should have been an ice bucket, instead it only triggered desperation. You knew her voice, even in that high pitch you seldom heard. If she ran out or stayed in you had no idea, but you needed to finish.

The adrenaline of fear only pushing you through more insistently.

You were panting, whining, arching on your back and squirming as new tears escaped your closed eyelids. It was over, she’d never look at your face again and it made you desperate.

A sob almost choked you as you finally came with Larissa’s name pleadingly on your lips. Though what really did make you choke was a soft hand on your shaking knee.

You opened your eyes to see her standing right beside the bed. She had an unreadable expression on her face, but her firm touch was grounding while you came down from your high. She sat close to your waist, moving her hand to rest on your stomach while she examined you with a purposefully controlled demeanour.

“Larissa…” you whispered, squeezing your legs together as if you could hide what you’d been doing, what she saw you do.

Her eyes shot up to yours, gleaming but not bright as they normally were. You hovered your hand atop hers, wondering if she’d let you hold it; she reached up and interwove your fingers without a word, bringing them to her lips ad kissing each knuckle.

You squeezed your legs harder, torn between fear and hope. Why wasn’t she saying anything?

“Why are you back?”

That, at least, got a small huff and a smile out of her, “I packed your books instead of mine,” she said with a voice hoarser than when she woke up. “That’s what you get for leaving in a hurry,” her eyes travelled down from yours, taking in your rattled state once more.

With your hand still in hers, she pressed it on the side of your head and gracefully straddled your stomach.

What was she doing? It didn’t make any sense. You would have known if… if she-

"You tied your hair,” was all your short-circuiting brain could come up with.

You got the pleasure of hearing her chuckle with fond amusement in her eyes, which was unfair and ridiculous on many levels considering the warm spot currently pressed against your underbelly.

“Is this relevant?”

”It could be-” you gasped as Larissa let out a small whimpering sound, eyes closed while grinding down on your hip bone.

Your free hand grabbed her thigh in an instant, the uniform’s skirt being a practical clothing item for the first time, and moved your hip to help her along. She let out a strangled noise and you could see her belly coil under her shirt. That was unacceptable; here you were, in thin pyjamas, dishevelled and undone while she got to look like a school prefect.

You sat up, Larissa settling on your left thigh as you did so, and let go of her hand to grab her collar.

“Are you sure of what you’re doing?” you looked her seriously in the eyes, hoping you were masking your plea well enough.

“Does it look like I’m not?” she breathed.

You had to breathe deeply and close your eyes to avoid her smug smile. You bit your lip to conceal your own tugging at the corners of your mouth, then it occurred to you, there are other ways one can hide. Larissa’s half-choked surprise at your lips and teeth on her neck made not smiling quite difficult.

While you helped Larissa ride your thigh with a steady hand on her hip, your other hand unbuttoned her shirt. She had a death grip on your right shoulder while her other arm rested around them, trapping you close to her. When you dealt with all the buttons, her unhappy whine from having to let you go made your heart race. Did she have any idea what she was doing to you?

“Shh, love, you’ll like it better like this,” you whispered, taking off your own top as she held your knees for support.

You made quick work of her bra, but once it came off you had to take a moment to appreciate how astonishingly beautiful she was. White, creamy skin, so hot it could melt all your thoughts away, beautiful full breasts with the rosiest, most charming nipples you’d ever seen. You wanted to look at her for the rest of your life.

Fuck, she’s gonna kill me.

Your hands splayed on her back and shoulder blades as you buried your face in her chest, kissing and sucking a bruise at the base of her sternum. You could feel her goosebumps under your tongue as you kissed your way to her left nipple, warm soft skin smelling of fancy lotion.

Larissa’s fingers wove into your hair and closed into a fist, locking your right where she wanted you to be.

The sounds she was making were becoming more and more breathless as her grinding grew erratic against you. She pulled you up into a searing and messy kiss that should have felt horrible but only made you burn with need, and when she gasped, muscles incredibly tight under your palms, you wanted nothing but to swallow every broken little guff of air as your pyjamas got impossibly wetter.

When her shoulders slumped and her weight fell on you, you could only hug her.

Pyjamas be damned, you could deal with it later. She breathed slowly and deeply on the crook of your neck as you traced soothingly up and down her back.

“I know you have class soon but I just want to stay in bed,” her voice had the quality of midnight half-sleepy rants and you hugged her tight.

“You also have class.”

She stayed silent for a beat, ”We have thirty minutes til the next one.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “I take longer to look presentable, not everyone is magically perfect-”

“Not magic,” she interrupted, “…and you pull off the ‘I didn’t even try’ look annoyingly well.”

”Oh, do I?” she left your shoulder as you laughed lightly.

She looked exasperated — almost hurt, not looking at your face — and you wanted to change that immediately “If you don’t want to stay, fine-”

“I was just teasing you,” you hushed to say and tentatively touched her chin, making her face you, “I want nothing more than to stay the entire day in this bed with you. I could spend a week if we lived in a perfect world,” you kissed her chastely, hand cupping her cheek, and as you parted her eyebrow were knit together.

“So this isn’t just a…” she paused, looking down between you and back up, eyes gleaming with the stubborn determination you loved so much, “This isn’t just a product of decisions took in ‘the heat of the moment’?”

You gave pause for a second as well. If she was asking, maybe… “Is it to you?”

“No,” she said emphatically.

“Then no. I’d like to be your girlfriend if you’d like that. She only nodded and gave you a timid half-smile, you smiled back and laid down, dragging her with you. You could spend some more minutes like this.

I guess this one turned out ok, I'm sorry if it didn't, just very sparse minded lately <3

#larissa weems #student!larissa #student!reader #larissa weems x reader #female reader #fluff #fluff and smut #smutty smut #caught masterbating #answered request

380 notes · View notes

pink---condoms · 11 months

Text

Best friends?

Dream x Reader

Warnings!: kissing, making out, Dream pulls reader onto his lap, mentions of Dream's real name Clay, whipped Dream& hair grabbing.

Summary!: Y/n and her boy best friend, Clay, had known each other since forever, they did almost everything together and lately there had been some tension between them. One day they were hanging out, when Clay suggested they play truth or dare. Feeling bored, she agreed.

"Damn girl you be looking thick" you said in a deep voice, looking at him up and down with a hand on your chin, at his front door. "Are gonna come in or are you gonna be annoying" he said in an annoyed voice. "I'm gonna come in, geez learn how to take a joke Clay" you said pushing past him an into his house like you owned it.

"It's been so long since we last hanged out" you said, walking to his living room and plopping yourself on his couch. "We hanged out literally just last week" he replied, with a stiff look on his face. "I know that's like so long" you looked at him and batted your thick eyelashes at him.

He sighed, taking a space next to you and turning to look at you. "Soo" you trailed off, "so? " he props an eyebrow at you "anything new? " "it's been one week, what new could possibly happen in a week". "A lot of things can happen in one week time" you replied to him, accidentally making eye contact with him.

"Well nothing new happened, happy now" you expected him to break the eye contact that was starting to intense, but he didn't. A few silent seconds went by, without you realizing. When you finally did realized, you instantly looked to the opposite direction of him, a heavy blush painting your face.

Right at that moment, patches walked into the room, immediately heading over to you. You mentally thanked the heavens for saving you from the awkward moment you shared with Clay. "Aww patches" you picked her up into your lap "I bet you missed mommy so much" yep, you were her human mom...

"She did" he chuckled from beside, trying to also break the awkward tension. "I don't doubt it, after all I'm her mother" you slightly raised her into air, looking up at how cute she looked. "Mhm" he hummed, and you tried your best you ignore the butterflies that was swarming your stomach.

You rested her back on the floor, turning to look at him who was already looking at you, you pouted your lips at him. "What" he laughed slightly, "I'm hungry, cook for me please" you gave him the eyes while batting your eyelashes at him.

"Fine" he looked away from you, a shade of pink coating his face. 'That easy?' you thought to yourself normally he'd try to make some excuse before actually making you something. A evident frown made it's way on your face, he couldn't see it since his back was turned to you.

He got up making his way to the kitchen with you following right behind. "What are you going to make? " you asked, as you entered the kitchen, making your way to the counter top and sitting yourself down on it. "Idk, maybe pasta" he said, looking straight at you, into your eyes. "Yes please" you cooed, his pasta always made your mouth water.

He set the pasta to boil, before making his way to his refrigerator that was near the counter you sat on. "You want something to drink? " he turned to look at you, "you got any lemonade? " you questioned, suddenly feeling for lemonade. "Shit, no I got to make some" he grabbed a lemon from the fridge setting beside you.

"Damn Clay acting boyfriend material to me right now" you joked, while he scoffed almost offended. "Shut up, you know your the only I'd do this for" he said while grinding the lemon. "Am I that special" a giggle erupted from your throat "yes now stop distracting me" he said, causing you to burst out in a fit of giggles.

He strained the juice he squeezed from the lemon, adding sugar and ice to the strained juice, before handing you the cup. "Thank you" you cooed smiling ever so sweet at him, while he playfully rolled his eyes while making his way to the boiling pan. "You mind grabbing another pan for me" he said while emptying the water from the soften spaghetti, "sure" you replied.

You made your way down the counter and towards where he kept all his pans and spoons, grabbing a medium size one. Coming up to his side, you handed him the pan. He grabbed the pan out your hands, a slight skin connection was held between you two.

Even the slightest, uncalled touches had electricity flowing through you. He rested the spaghetti aside and started to make the tomato sauce. He stirred the bright red liquid, while you stood right beside him, eyes also staring down at the sauce.

"Are you really that hungry" he joked noticing the way you licked your lips every now and then. "Don't talk bout it" you glared at him, while he bursted out in to fits of laughter. "Stop laughing and cook my food" you whined, tugging on the end of his hoodie, "ok madam".

He tried his best to calm himself down, and eventually he did. Finally after taking a whole ten minutes, he was finally finished with the sauce. Grabbing a plate, he stuffed it with spaghetti before dropping the tomato sauce all over it.

"Your so good to me Clay, I love you" you gave him a cheeky smile, "I know" he returned your smile, handing you your plate of food. "You wanna watch a movie? " you resisted the urge to stuff your mouth, as you requested him "sure" he replied.

You made your way to his living room, both hands holding onto your plate tight. He took off the light, allowing the tv to light up the room. He sat down, more like plopping, you followed right behind him. You swirled your fork around, trying to grab as much spaghetti you could before stuffing it your mouth.

You tapped his shoulder as he looked through the different movie, "hm" he turned to you "you want a bite? " you asked making a swirl for him. He didn't say anything and just opened his mouth, indicating yes he wanted a bite. You fed him the spaghetti you had on your fork, also stuffing his mouth with the pasta.

An indirect kiss.

Soon, the plate was emptied between the two of you and on the tv played Star Wars. You were starting to get bored not because you literally watch the movie at least 50 times because you felt like you was home alone, despite him right next to you.

Him seemed to notice so he paused to the movie, before turning to look at you who was looking at him with a confused look. "You wanna play truth or dare? " he asked, "why'd you stop the movie? " you asked, ignoring his question. "You were getting bored so I paused it," he replied "I wasn't, put it back on" you protested, but he wasn't having it.

"No, let's play truth or dare" he said, more like demanding you, which made you roll your eyes. "Fine" you agree, not really feeling to go back and forth with him. "Ok, you go first truth or dare" he seemed excited, it's just game of truth or dare right?. "Truth" typical your not going with dare knowing how crazy he is and seeing him excited made you kinda suspicious.

"Is it true that you once accidentally kill a mosquito and called me 3am in the fucking morning to bawl your eyes out? " he asked like if it wasn't true, even though you both know it was 100% true. "Shut up that was like a year ago" you covered your face, remembering the embarrassing night you called him because of the mosquito, while he started laughing.

"Stop lying, that was just like last month you know it" his laughter echoed around the living room, you gave him a dirty look. "Whatever, your turn truth or dare? " "truth", understandable. "Is it true that you once tried to talk to your crush and ended up vomiting all over her" your giggles were heard in between the truth but it managed to get out.

A red shade took over his face, remembering the time he puked all over Jane Matthew's jacket in the school playground. "That was like 9 years ago Y/n really? " he groaned, " yes it's still funny as fuck" you pointed out, still laughing.

"Truth or dare" he asked, it's been twenty minutes into the game and it's not bad. You picked dare a couple of times, mostly going with truth, he did the something. "Truth" you replied.

"Is it true that you'd date me? " he mutter, you barely heard him, but you did.

You froze, you probably misheard him and was taking it the wrong way. "I didn't hear you" you laugh it off awkwardly and he looked you straight into your eyes. "Is it true that you'd date me" he said, a lot more audible to your ears.

You loved him and still do, but you felt like you couldn't what if it was some cruel joke on you, whatever. You looked down to your hands that layed in your lap. "I don't have an answer to that Clay" Clay, you only used his real name when you were serious.

You really didn't have an answer to him though. You were scared that your 18 year old friendship was gonna get flushed down the toilet. "What do you mean? " his voice laced with confusion, too genuine. "I don't want to ruin our friendship, like we've been best friends for 18 full years and I don't want to end our friendship and become distant an shit like what if we don't work ou-" you cut off.

With his lips against yours.

You were speechless, despite he was literally kissing you, you were stunned. A mere 34 second past by and you was still in your shock era. Finally coming to your senses you realized it. Clay is kissing you, your best friend of 18 years is kissing you.

Immediately you kissed him back, your arms latched around his neck, which his made their way to your waist. You both know what you were doing, but you both didn't care, it just felt to fucking good to stop.

He pulled away breathing heavily, his hands pulling you onto his lap, before pulling you back down to meet his lips. Your hands made their way behind his head, lightly gripping on to his hair. One of his hand travelled up from your waist to your neck, wrapping his hand around your neck and just keeping it there, no squeezing, nothing.

Your lips molded with each other's like it was made for you both. His light grip on your neck was doing wanders. You brushed your hand through his hair, pushing it back as it came in your face. Slowly you pulled away, as you was starting to get breathless. He was starting to get breathless too but he didn't care , he just wanted to kiss you all day long.

"Clay" you whispered, staring down into his eyes.

"Y/n" he muttered, keeping up eye contact with you.

"I want you Y/n, not in a sexual way but in a lover's way I'm so fucking in love with you, you have no fucking idea" the hand around your neck fell back down to your waist to hold you against him like you was gonna run away.

"Please don't fuck with me Clay" he frowned at your sentence, before he could reply to you he noticed your eyes welling up with tears. He wasn't fucking with you, he was dead ass serious.

"Hey, what are you crying for" immediately he pulled your head down to rest against his chest. "I'm so fucking sorry, I'm scared Clayton" you looked up at him with red eyes. "Baby there's nothing to be scared about, I want to try with you, let me be your boyfriend and threat like you deserve".

You sobbed even more, not because of any holding back anymore, but because of honest he was being. "Aww baby don't cry" he laughed slightly, his hand running up and down your back in a comforting way.

Pulling up your head, you were met with a smiley Clay. Not saying anything you leaned up and connected your lips together, sparks flying through the both of you. This he was the one to entangle his hand with your hair, making sure not to hurt you.

You sure by now your lips were swollen and red from the intense kissing sessions you both shared. Being the one to pull away from the kiss first again, you rested your forehead against his with a smile on your face.

Lovers.

#dreamsmp smut #dreamsmp x reader smut #dsmp smut #mcyt x reader smut #dream #dsmp fic #mcyt smut #dreamwastaken #clay

318 notes · View notes

caesium-55 · 18 days

Text

Lewis just wants to sleep. He's tired. He just arrived yesterday from Las Vegas and he needs to grant himself a lazy day or else, he'll go insane. He already planned out a perfect morning. You, on the bed with him in the most innocent sense—Lewis wouldn't mind sex because sex is nice and all but he also loved just resting with you and basking in your existence and your being—freely drifting in and out of the realm of sleep, no annoying alarm waiting to ruin his morning with that god-awful buzzing nose, basking in the silence and peace of a morning in the quiet part of Monaco, and letting the hours pass by without care. Then, when you both get sick of the sheets, you go down and grab breakfast in that café just across the building that sells amazing crepes.

But he wakes up and your side of the bed is cold and empty and panic sinks in his system quickly. He glances around the room. Sunlight peeks through the tiny gap of the black out curtains in the window. Besides the night lamp, it's the only source of light in the room. Your phone is not on the bedside table, Lewis notes. That means you slipped away from the bed and left the room some time ago without Lewis noticing. Usually, he'd feel it if you even just twitched and he'd wake up in a heartbeat, but the jet lag and the exhaustion that engulfed his entire body must have stopped him from doing so.

He sits up and rubs his face with his palms. He decides to follow after you downstairs.

The door abruptly opens with a loud bang, making Lewis flinch and turn his head towards. Lewis's face transitions from sleepy to shocked to confused.

You're wearing a gown that greatly resembles the type of gowns that the female cast of Netflix's Bridgerton wore in the show. It's a mixture of lilac and pink, both are pretty colors. Your hair is fixed into an elegant half-do with a plastic tiara to complete everything. On one hand, you carry a portable Bluetooth speaker. In the other, a microphone. You sport the most serious facial expression in the universe but nothing about you screams seriousness at all. Especially not with the funky-shaped eyeglasses that sit on the bridge of your nose.

You slam your hand against the light switch next to the door and the entire room brightens. Lewis chuckles at the sight of you, eyes twinkling with mirth. The room never feels more alive than it does now.

"Ta-da."

"Good morning, baby."

The intro of the song starts blaring through the speaker. A strong beat of drums. Then, you began to sing.

“After the war I went back to New York

A-after the war I went back to New York

I finished up my studies and I practiced law

I practiced law, Lewis worked next door—"

"Baby, you practice medicine—"

"Even though we started at the very same time

Lewis Hamilton began to climb

How to account for his rise to the top?"

You point the mic towards him. Lewis smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

"Man, the man is non-stop."

Lewis chuckles, amused. You are getting into it. You put your mic on your mouth again.

"Gentlemen of the jury, I'm curious, bear with me

Are you aware that we're making hist'ry?

This is the first murder trial of our brand-new nation

The liberty behind deliberation (Non-stop!)

I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt

With my assistant counsel

Co-counsel—"

Lewis tries to leave the sheets so he can get his phone and capture you in video. You stop him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Hamilton, sit down."

"I'm sat."

You begin pacing around the room, hands waving around in theatrical fluorish.

"Our client Levi Weeks is innocent

Call your first witness

That's all you had to say

Okay

One more thing–"

You walk up to him and Lewis waits for your next move.

"Why do you assume you're the fastest in the room?"

"Because I am?"

"Why do you assume you're the fastest in the room?

Why do you assume you're the fastest in the room?

Soon that attitude may be your doom!"

Lewis shakes his head at you.

"Why do you drive like you're running out of time?

Drive day and night like you're running out of time?

Every day you fight, like you're running out of time

Keep on fighting, in the meantime."

Your number ends with you doing a dramatic pose and Lewis bursts out laughing, the sound mixing with the fading music.

"I love you so much. You have no idea."

This is far from the ideal morning he's planned out. This is not quiet. This is not peaceful. This is boisterous and obnoxious and too much energy so early in the day and every bone in Lewis's body still screams exhaustion.

But Lewis wouldn't trade this morning over the peaceful morning in his mind. Not when you looked so happy singing and rapping that Hamilton song. You theater nerd. God, Lewis didn't know he was physically capable of loving a person this much.

"Hey baby, if we get a son, can we name him Alexander?"

"Whatever you want."

Lewis wishes this morning will never end.

#lewis hamilton #lh44 #lewis hamilton x reader #lh44 x reader #established relationship #f1 x reader #formula one #formula 1 #f1 imagines #fanfic #hamilton musical #fluff #Spotify

137 notes · View notes

sebfreak · 4 months

Text

Do not change Maomao!

This is the title of this long post. Omg the fanservice we got, the beautiful scenes in which we could see Maomaos happy face. Ahhhh I loved it again.

Make it obivous who he is, right? At this point we all should have a clue and to be honest this scene was also very interesting. The relationship between them is better described with "icy cold". Yeah, you see a smile on Jinshis face but he is more distant towards him.

She and her herbs. Her passion is so real and i can understand her 100%. Herbs are so interesting, I can´t wait to find out more about it. Maomao is a teacher to us and we can learn a lot from her. <3

He is truly a real father. The why I cried a little bit during this scene. This is Maomaos home, she is always welcomed and can go back anytime. He doesn´t have much but he has a lot of love for her. <3

Lol the way he blushed. Jinish-sama everything is written on your face. You can´t hide it anymore lol.

The way everyone blushed when they saw Maomao. It´s really interesting that a little change can activate this reaction and it was really obvious that Jinshi was getting annoyed by it and JEALOUS!!! OH HE IS SO JEALOUS AND REGRETS IT THAT EVERYBODY COULD SEE MAOMAO THIS WAY!!!!

His order was absolutely not a surprise. Now he understands why she puts freckles on her face. XDDDDDDD Oh my man.... aaaahhhhh I love him so much and I love it that he falls for Maomao more and more. My boy you can´t escape anymore but I truly doubt he wants to escape.

This face and we all know that he is planning something that Maomao won´t like. ahahahahahaha XDDDDDDDD

The fanservice was so real in this scene. They really went hard with Jinshi-sama in this scene. BUT I´m not complaining, keep going... I really really like it. (and everybody: when will we get our Jinshini hm? XDDD)

Wasted sex appeal... XDDDDD ah it´s so cute how Maomao doesn´t know it but it makes it so much funnier. XDDD

I bet for Jinshi it´s also very stressful when you can´t behave around people in a normal way without them to lust over you. I know it´s complaining on a very high ground but sometimes even a Jinshi doesn´t want to be reduced on his appearance. But the fact that Maomao explained it with insects made me cry. Oh my dear... XDDDDD

Weeellll my dear Maomao I won´t say it... you have to find it out for yourself but it´s great that she is questioning it because it´s very unnormal for his position or more like it´s something Maomao seems as unnormal.

Go away motherfucker. <---- no respect here. Just.... go away you creeper.... On my Blog and I'm aware of his story but i can't seem to like him, but i am a Person who can respect that people like him but for me there are some things that are not okay and this was way too much in my eyes. his obsession is too much because I look from the childs perspective (MaoMao) and I could understand her traumatic feelings. So don´t come at me and try to convince me to like him. It won´t work.

Oh they really went hard with Jinshis fanservice even in the ending and loved the change here. Beginning it´s dark and gives you a sad aura but after meeting Maomao his world becomes bright and sunny. Oh my gosh I´M NOT CRYING OKAY!!!! ( okay i´m crying)

All in all a very good episode. 10/10 and it was a great start for the second part. Ah, it will be dramatic again and I can´t wait to witness it with you. <3

#kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #anime #now if you excuse me i´m gonna find my jinshi

92 notes · View notes

morgandoesstuffsig · 1 year

Note

Hello! Idk if your requests are open but I just wanted to get this off my head before I forget it😅

I was thinking a sagau with a creator reader who’s secretly a super-genius( iq of a gods level) who sees everything like it’s a hologram?( stuff like math, science, medical, mechanical, strategies, etc…) how do you thing they would react if they got to see from the creators perspective? Who would find it useful? Who would find it more annoying? Who would be impressed about it? How would take advantage of it in battle?

Ah, my requests are indeed open as of right now! when I first read this I thought of that one woman and the random ass math equations meme :sobs: also childe's is short 'cause idk what to do for him...

anyways, this is a cool idea!! chars. used are : Al-Haitham, Childe, and Kaveh. i love Kaveh sm :((<3

start below cut

AL-HAITHAM

Oh, when Al-Haitham first saw you randomly fiddling with seemingly the air, he thought maybe something might be wrong with you. Maybe you were sleep deprived? Sick? Tired? Slightly delusional? You, of course, noticed he was staring at you and sighed.

"Stop staring at me like I'm crazy and just come over here and look." He quickly nodded and obeyed. He would never even think of taking another moment to stop. He quickly approached next to you, and then out of nowhere, suddenly a bunch of light [color] words, symbols, and numbers appeared infront of you two. He looked at them, hen back at you, and then back at them. What were these? So many equations he'd never seen before... You glanced at his confused face and suppressed a laugh.

How cute he is when he is confused, you thought, smiling to yourself. He was trying pretty hard to understand them, though it was all something only you really knew.

He slowly gained the courage to ask, "What... are these..?"

"Well, my lovely little scribe, these are all problems and formulas from which I've learned. I haven't implemented them into Teyvat at all, of course though."

'Lovely little scribe..?' He thought, his face heating up a bit. "I-if you don't mind me asking, why didn't you..?" 'Archons, did I really just stutter.. how embarrassing...'

"Well, there really isn't a reason for anyone here to learn it. I merely use it so could help me control the events of Teyvat easier. There is no need for anyone on Teyvat to learn such a thing, if they do not possess the power I do." You said, smiling at his reaction to his new nickname.

"I.. see.. That is very.. interesting." He said, trying to process it all as he glanced at you, just to see you smiling at him, and quickly looked back at the hologram. He couldn't handle it-- you were just too much for him to handle. [positively, of course. he loved the creator in a lot of ways.]

"Not as interesting as you, love."

"!!!"

Oh archons, you've broke him!

end : 1/3

KAVEH

you have no idea how down bad I am for this man istg

"I'm surprised you've gotten the hang of this already! N-Not that I doubted you of course, but most people don't learn so quickly! N-No that I mean to say you're most people, you aren't!! B-But I don't mean to try and single you out, nor do I mean to mean to say you're the same--" Kaveh tripped over all his words, trying to make sure they weren't going to offend you at all, but he just kept poking holes in each until he heard you let out a light laugh.

"It's alright Kaveh. I know what you're trying to say, thank you. I've just got a nifty little trick up my sleeve."

...Archons, he loved your laugh. It made him feel so giddy.

"Do you mind telling me? I-I just want to se if I could use it to hurry and finish my work faster, not that I mean to use you or anything, but--"

You could sense he was about to go on another trail of thoughts, so you simply smiled and said, "It is not a trick that can be learned, it's more of a power I possess." He nodded, and internally sighed.

"...Come here, let me show you. I'll let you decided whether it's useful or not." You said, motioning for him to stand next to you.

What an honor it is, to be invited next to the Divine Creator, and how important it is... and how I get too! Ah, happy day! He thought, as he happily sped walked his way next to you. What happened next, made him feel as if he was ascending.

You carefully grabbed Kaveh's hand and guided up into the air, and as he tilted his head in confusion as a blush appeared on his cheeks, suddenly words, numbers, problems, and more appeared on thin air! They all had solutions and such, and he could understand most of them because they were the ones you two were just working on, but others had unfamiliar letters and language, with different numbers and much different ways of solving them.

"So? What do you think?" You inquired, looking at him to see his reaction. He was completely astonished. You did all of this in one day?! Not say he was doubting you or anything, but he'd never seen it before! Such complex things that took him and others so long took you merely a minute or two!

"...woah." Was all he could mutter as he stared up at the hologram.

You chuckled, and said, "There's one more thing I'd like to show you..." And you guided his hand to another part of the hologram, as if you were swiping. Suddenly, a bunch of blueprints and diagrams appeared, and he quickly recognized them. They were his future projects he had planned on! He stared at them, then at you, and then just turned red. Both because he was flustered, and because he was blown away.

You'd been thinking about.. me..? And from the looks of it.. you've been trying to.. help me?!

You smiled and squeezed his hand, and he had to muffle a little 'eep!'

...He did not do very well muffling it. You chuckled and whispered in his ear, "You're so cute Kaveh, you know that?"

God, he loved the way his named rolled off of your tounge.

[i love kaveh to a normal amount i swear..]

end : 2/3

CHILDE / TARTAGLIA

"What're you doing?"

"Solving formulas to see which artifacts are best for this fight." You answered, continuing to move and use your hologram.

"A fight is a fight! What're artifacts really needed for?" He groaned, dramatically.

"For you? To do more damage. Some others do better support, off-field, healing--"

"Yeah but isn't doing so much math boringgg?" He drawed out, he just wanted to fight this [boss] already!

"Do you want to win this fight?"

"..Well, yeah..!"

"Then let me check these artifacts."

He whined, dramatically. He didn't really see why you needed that stupid hologram, it was quite annoying... taking up all your attention when he's right there! Sure he can't read half of those equations, but he can entertain you more than that 'floating screen' can! That's for sure!

Though, Childe wouldn't push anymore. You're the creator, whatever you say goes.

"Aand... done! Now use these artifacts and--" You handed him the artifacts before he eagerly put them on and grabbed your hand before you could get caught up in those stupid little symbols again.

"Let's go, Your Grace!!! I don't wanna wait any longer!!" He semi-shouted enthusiastically, holding onto you gently. You smiled, and shook your head lightly, but silently laughed.

...maybe you could let it slide this time.

end : 3/3

764 notes · View notes

lianaisabsent · 11 months

Text

BSD men when their s/o gets jealous

A/n: might be a little different from exactly canon reactions but technically it includes my hcs so..

CHARACTERS: dazai, chuuya, atsushi

Dazai:

with dazai it's like you're confused and amused more than jealous.

He flirts to get information, it works greatly is what's more annoying to you.

This one time you both were set up on a mission and not even two seconds in and he flirted with the prime suspect and deemed her "incapable of doing murder"

When asked why he responded “I would frame her too, she's too afraid and cowardly and she's lacking financially so her motive would've been perfect to kill.. however, the way she trembles and speaks and responds is a way no killer would be able to.. She could be an actress but her hands are of those of the abused. Meaning she was purposely planted to distract us.. That's something I would do if I was the killer" (plot holes in this but I'm not a detective so excuse me if I get any thing wrong)

You were just gawking the whole time over how much he analyzed from touching the ladies hand and speaking to her softly and sweetly.. It was a mask yes but still it made you jealous.. Not like you were to admit that.

He might have.. He definitely noticed it. Dazai wanted to tease you over it but you were in a professional setting although nothing about dazai can be called professional at times.. Most times..

Bro would tease you so much so so much

You both were on a mission together, a mission to investigate a murder in an art museum. You inspected the places, found some clues and when you came back you saw your boyfriend speaking, no flirting with the staff members.

You knew it's for work, but it still makes you feel a twisting feeling in your stomach. You're not much of a doubting and possessive person with him but it's still annoying how good he is at this a natural some might even say.

You just inhaled and exhaled before rolling your eyes and walking towards someone else for their statements on what happened. They all have roughly the same statement “he was a kind man, a kind man the manager was, the manager was a nice kind man he didn't deserve this” almost led you to think this was some sort of mystery novels cassette tape on repeat.

A few minutes pass by and you feel someone hugging you from behind, you flinched and pushed the person away, person being dazai who was very wounded (dramatic is a better word) “my love! How could you!? First you get jealous and glare at the staff member and when I came to comfort you like the amazing partner I am, you pushed me!”

You could only sigh at his theatrics, 'how is he not an actor?' you thought. “don't bother dazai I know it was for work..” you sighed looking through the information you gathered. He did tease you but he ultimately didn't really know how to respond to that. As he's told you before he cant really respond with that exact emotions you want. He tried though.

“well.. I only 'flirt' for work but ultimately who do I go home to and for? You” it did make you internally embarrassed because he just said that loudly in a silent hall with people.

Chuuya:

He isn't a flirt, his thing is more of actions speak louder then words but he does get flirted with. He doesn't respond to it but it does annoy you a little.

he isn't going to say much just “oh okay-wait what”

I think he'd be dense when it comes to recognizing jealousy, he'd just think everything is fine unless you directly tell him it's not

“chuuya, I'm jealous” “of what? My charm?”

How did you even end up with him..

One time, at a café when you were both off of your work and getting something to drink while you caught up for the week a woman came up asking for your boyfriends number.

He was about to say something before he saw a book in her hand, he did mention he'd been reading a few books recently and that you should check them out if you have time but you didn't have time. You were regretting it now for sure.

“oh you like that book?” “yes!” “oh what was-....” their words were no longer being heard by you when all you did was stare down at your drink counting till when she would leave him. But to your disappointment it was like chuuya forgot who he came to the date with. After what felt like 30 minutes she smiled and left with his number as you glared at him and picked up the butter knife.

You stared at him and he only smiled at you in return, it wasn't intentional you could see it but it annoyed you so much “so you just give away your number to random people huh?” you asked earning a confused look from him, “what do you mean darling?” “you know what I mean, the girl the book ring a bell for you yet Einstein?” he nodded before pausing “oh wait what? You were jealous!?”

He, instead of sitting across came to your side and sat beside you lightly hugging you “sorry if it made you jealous I was just kind of happy because we had similar interests is all, you're the one I'll take to dinner and you're the one who I'll plan to spend my life with along with wine”

It made you smile.

Atsushi:

He is more dense.. He's oblivious, he doesn't even know you were jealous.. Why were you jealous? That's his thought

We all know atsushi has a thing for saving people but people do tend to over think interactions. You have witnessed multiple times where people who atsushi saved tried flirting with him. As your oblivious partner just kept being dense.

“jealous?? You? YOU WERE JEALOUS?!”

He's confused, he doesn't understand

You knew atsushi saved a girl from the guild and you knew she was his friend (?) if you could call it that because from what kyouka told you she just seemed like a shy girl who hates social interactions.. That was until you visited the café yourself and saw her upset seeing you. Had you done something to wrong her? No, you hadn't ever met the red head.

“um atsu.. Is your upset with me?” you asked to which you received a shake of his head and a small "no"

As you say down she came and threw the menu in front of atsushi and placed it carefully to you.. You were shocked to say the least. She the started bantering and you noticed a blush and thought 'oh. She likes him..' it wasn't until after she left that you felt an annoying twist in your stomach and a voice saying that they've known each other for longer then you and him have been together but you choose to ignore it.

Lucy, he told you was her name, came back with the orders placing it and when he called you 'love' which wasn't often unless he noticed something off about you that her eyes almost bulged out “YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!?” she shouted at him not that loudly to disturb everyone but still nearby customers did hear it. Atsushi nodded “oh yes, I thought I told you last time me and kyouka came” they started bantering again.

You felt jealous and annoyed, she seemed sweet.. But jealousy just made you feel angry and annoyed at her. After your café trip you walked out of the café not waiting for him to catch up. He grabbed your wrist asking what's wrong and you could only sigh "jealousy, I'm jealous, you've known her for longer then our relationship and she even could have feelings for you!” you said to which his response was shutting down literally he tried to process what you just said..

"you're jealous? JEALOUS??” he was shocked and in comparison to his obliviousness you only kissed him. It made him redder then red paint could even get. He was confused as to why you were jealous but he reassured you that he only likes you and lucy is a good person and friend of his.

#dazai fluff #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #bungou stray dogs #bsd fluff #atsushi nakajima #atsushi x reader #dazai osamu #bsd season 4 #chuuya fluff #chuuya bsd

371 notes · View notes

teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

lllicit Affairs | Chapter VI: Death by a Thousand Cuts

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have a dark secret that would change everything between you - and neither of you are willing to share.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, Lo'ak x reader, jealous!Neteyam, both main characters thirsting for each other, mentions of lab work, disease, blood, cursing.

Word Count: 7,2k words

A/N: Chapter 6 is the chapter that sets EVERYTHING in motion for what's to come. There is a LOT to come, a lot of drama and angst, maybe some smut (? 😉) and this chapter is meant as a stepping stone to the beginning of the end. Also, realised I forgot to ever mention, that if the dialogue is ever italicised, that usually means the conversation is in Na'vi, I don't know how I have never made it clearer, but here we are.

Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and asking to be tagged, I never expected this to gain any traction and I am so grateful for people enjoying it x

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave you too much but it wasn't enough But I'll be all right, it's just a thousand cuts

One second.

“Just one second, Neteyammm!”, you whined, as he was trying to remove the blanket from your currently very comfortable and very warm body.

“It’s late, come on! Early bird catches the worm, isn’t that what you people say?”

“Nobody says that, I don’t know who told you this lie.”

“It was you!!” he says, and he’s laughing at your whinging while trying to remove the blanket. He’s not trying that hard, considering he would make an easy job out of the task if he used a tenth of his actual force, but he couldn’t bear the thought of bringing you any unnecessary distress. You had enough of that in your life, and he wanted to be a source of comfort for you, a shelter in the storm.

You scooted on one side of the bed close to the edge, and left a big gap which you brought to his attention by patting it aggressively.

“Press the button on the audio player and lay with me, please? I don’t feel like going out today.”

He couldn’t say no to you, he realises. He would follow you anywhere in this world, do anything you asked of him, regardless how stupid or reckless or crazy it was. He would always follow you, for the rest of time, and he was happy about it.

A song he liked came on, one that he’s heard you play before and there was no doubt in his mind that he liked it better when you sang it. He circled the bed and lay in it, next to you, in the dark.

“Thank you, light of my life.” You attached yourself to him, arms sprawled across his bare chest and legs carelessly placed on top of abdomen and hips, and sighed contently. He could feel your warm breaths on his neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head to you and placed a small kiss on top of your head and listened to the soft tune filling up the room.

“Oh, goddamn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered in you”

“You’re annoying.”

“I know I am, but you love me anyway.”

I do, Neteyam thought. I really do…

Things happen in life sometimes, and it makes you lose your ability to react. There was no reaction, definitely no overreaction. You stared at the vial of blood that shattered all across the floor, all across you and your mind was blank. Almost robotically, you made your way to one of the benches and got some paper rolls and the IMS laying next to it. You carefully cleaned all of it, and spit whatever made its way to your mouth to the floor to be removed. When you were sure everything was gone, you went to the sink and removed your goggles and gloves, and scrubbed yourself clean. You felt yourself moving, picking up a bucket of water with some floor cleaner, felt yourself adding disinfectant to it and moping thoroughly, but it was like an out-of-body experience. Like you were merely a puppet executing orders from above. Cleaning everything took about an hour, after which you made your way back to your room slowly, deliberately.

You didn’t sleep. You spent the whole night looking over everything you and the rest of the scientists have ever found out about this virus. You didn’t know its way of transmission. Maybe you had nothing to worry about, maybe it’s not by blood. You knew it’s not by air, you’ve seen plenty of people infected whose family was fine. So even if you do get infected, the people at the lab should be fine. Your friends would be fine. He would be fine.

Next, incubation period. That’s a tough one, in-vitro studies show it takes the virus anywhere from 2 to 12 months to show symptoms. You don’t know how that changes in humans. You don’t know any of this shit for humans. You could be perfectly fine, you could die within the month. The thought made your blood run cold.

You sat in your chair for the remainder of the night. Unmoving, unthinking.

That’s how Norm found you.

“Hey, Ace. What are you doing up?”

You scrambled for a lie.

“Just woke up, actually. Listen, if you are going to check on the boy, can you please bring my supplies to the tent and tell the Sullys I won’t be in today? I was too exhausted to run any experiments yesterday so I will do it today.”

“Oh… is everything alright? You haven’t missed a day in the village since you got your Avatar.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine, just worried about the boy and want to get to the bottom of this sooner rather than later, if possible.”

“Alright, I can bring you back some of his blood to run as well?”

“NO!”

Norm’s eyes widened in shock at your response and you knew you fucked up, you knew you slipped up. Calm yourself…

“It’s just not necessary at the moment since I have other blood and I don’t want to overwhelm him, if it’s not imperative. I will retrieve some blood when I check on him tomorrow.”

Norm looked at you with a concerned look, but eventually relented.

“Ok, whatever you think, Ace.”

“Thanks, Norm.”

“Let me know what you find tonight. I’ll tell Jake, but they might not be happy with you.”

“You can explain it’s an emergency, I’m sure they’ll understand.”

You struggled to get up and get your legs to not want to collapse beneath you. Eventually, you made your way to the sink and washed, you scrubbed your face as hard as you could without removing a layer of skin, and your teeth until you felt the familiar taste of metal coat your teeth. You hoped that maybe you tried hard enough, the last 6 hours can just be erased from your life, from world. You hoped it could undo the damage that would plague you for the rest of your most likely very short life.

Luckily, most scientists seemed to be out. Claire was teaching Na’vi kids English at Grace’s old school that Jake deemed fit to be reopened, Max left with Norm to check on the situation of the village, and most of the Avatars would be out on missions or training with Jake. You made your way to the quiet halls to one of the labs, and prepared for your long day ahead. This will be hard to do by yourself, but not impossible.

First step, respiratory fluids. You remove a sterile cotton swab and swab your pharynx as thoroughly as possible and place it in a tube. That’s easy enough. Next comes the blood. Finding a vein has always been hard for people to do on you, and it’s not gotten any easier in time, so after poking yourself a few times in the wrong place, you manage to get enough blood to run experiments on.

Hours of sample preparation, incubation, pipetting and running went by at an excruciatingly slow pace, like the universe was revelling in making every second of torture last forever. You thanked your lucky stars of the progress made in lab equipment and that you didn’t have to spent days on one PCR, like your mum was saying it had to be done back on Earth about a century ago. Regardless, it took most of the day for you to do everything you needed, check for all the proteins and markers you knew were deregulated with this virus, and by the early hours of night, you were done.

Aș people were starting to return to the hub as another day was nearing its end, you retreated back to your bedroom to work on the data analysis. You did not want to see anyone, did not want to speak to anyone until you knew at least some things. The less you talked, the less lies that had to come out of your mouth, and that seemed ideal to you.

Inputting the data and having to wait on some software to give you your literal death sentence felt so tragic is was almost comical, and you had to stop and ask yourself if you were some serial killer in a past life to warrant all the pain and misery life seemed adamant to throw at you. For the first time in so long you couldn’t even remember, things were going… well. You were strong, and doing well, and lived outside of the walls of this lab. You had a chance at something more, you had a chance at maybe one day healing and working through your issues and maybe even coming out the other side a better, healthier version of yourself. You had a chance at love.

And there it was… positive. One second.

THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE I: DENIAL

Your blood became poison in the span of half a day, but at least you now knew it wasn’t transmitted through air. That means no one else would have to suffer because of you. The thought made you weirdly calm, and you realised you didn’t care about your own health all along. No, you weren’t sad anymore, just relieved. A wide smile appeared on your face at the results, and you jumped out of the chair with enthusiasm at the great news. Everybody would be ok. Norm, Max, they would all be ok. You will handle all the virus experiments and blood samples from now on. They wouldn’t have reason to doubt you or question you, not when it made most sense anyway, since you were always in the village and knew the protocols and techniques the best, anyway. You would go on the same way as you had, and no one had to know or suffer because of your mistakes.

With those thoughts still floating in your mind and a Xanax on your tongue, you made your way to the comfortable bed and crashed without a dream in sight.

You were up before dawn again, and ready to get started on your day at the village. You were looking forward to gun training with Jake, and finally putting those years of practice to good use. You found Norm deep in thought in the link room, and he didn’t register you walking in until you patted his shoulder and he jumped out of his skin.

“Jesus, Ace. You scared the shit out of me.”

“I noticed. Why so jumpy, Norm?”

He gave you the quickest look known to man then quickly busied himself with literally anything else. “No reason, just focused on the task at hand.”

“…turning on the linkpod?”

“No one likes a smartass, you know?”

“So how was the village yesterday? How is the boy?”

“He’s alright, still not great, but his vitals are stable for now.” You noticed he did not answer your question about the village, and found slight panic rising in your chest.

“Is everything okay? Did something happen in the village?”

“No, Ace, everything’s fine. You don’t have to worry about everything, you know. How did the experiments go yesterday?”

“The virus is not airborne, it seems to be transmitted by blood, so we need to be very careful handling samples.”

“We always are. But good work, good to have some concrete evidence finally. I’ll look over your analysis soon.”

“You know, I’m not quite done with it, so maybe wait and we can look over it together?”

“Sure, that makes sense.”

You didn’t buy Norm’s pathetic attempts at deflecting the subject of the village, but you did not want to fight him so early in the day, so you guess you had to find out what happened for yourself. You woke up in your Avatar body soon enough, and could already tell the village was already awake and buzzing with the perspective of a new day. The guitar sitting on the ground next to your sleeping mat caught your eye, and you smiled softly at the memory which now seems a life away. Your fingers lingered on the chords and you strummed it gently a few times, enjoying the sounds that seemed to settle in your heart. Adjusting your braids in the small mirror you brought with you a few weeks ago, you made your way out of your tent and straight into Neteyam’s chest with a loud thud.

“What the fuck?” You say, indignantly and then look up to find Neteyam watching you with an unreadable expression adorning his beautiful face.

“Hi.” He says, and tries to muster a small smile.

“Hi…? Is there any particular reason you have decided to attack me first thing in the morning?”

“I was just coming to get you, I heard the guitar playing. I didn’t think you would be running straight into me. Are you ready? We can spend the morning tracking a herd of Talioang that the hunter party spotted a few clicks south of the village. It will be good practice for you.”

“…alright? Can I get some food first? I’m famished.”

Neteyam shifted uncomfortably in front of you and looked… nervous, you realised. What the hell was going on with everyone?

“I have food that Ma packed for us, we can eat in the forest? I’d really rather get a move on as soon as possible, this will most likely take most of today, anyway.”

“Is there a particular reason you seem so eager for me to leave? You and Norm have both been acting weird today, and you are both terrible liars.”

Neteyam gave you a hard look. “Let’s go, Y/N. Unlike what you like to think, you don’t need to know everything, and not everything concerns you. Let’s go, now.” Nothing’s changed, you realised bitterly. Last night was just a fluke and you hated yourself in that moment for letting your guard down.

“You can be a real dick sometimes, Neteyam.” You said and took off without looking at him.

You ran for about 5 clicks without checking behind you, knowing full well he was following you, your hearing being one of the many senses that heightened in this body. You stopped suddenly at the sight of a huge footprint, one you could identify as the Sturmbeest, or a Talioang, like it was known to the Na’vi. Soon enough, you saw the ground littered with them, and began carefully tracking the beasts.

“Alright. How far would you say they are and which direction?” Neteyam asked, approaching you slowly. He was back to teaching mode, and you tried your best to learn, instead of recoiling and telling him to go to hell, which is what you really wanted to do.

You touched the ground and felt it with your fingers, trying to assess the moisture level and deepness of the mark. You thought about for a while.

“I’d say they’re quite fresh. Maybe this morning? Taloioang move slowly, about 1 click every hour or two, so I’d say we’ll find them about 2 clicks east?”

He didn’t even have to touch the ground to be able to assess it. He was impressive.

“Good. Let’s go. We shouldn’t run, they have good hearing and the wind is blowing east, which means they’ll be able to smell us if we’re not careful. We will take a roundabout way and approach them from the south.”

You both made your way through the forest and it was your turn to follow him, although you stayed close behind and tried to look around you and pick up on clues, tiny sounds and movements, trying to learn, trying to see. “Eyes on the tracks, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes, but did as you were told. Eventually, Neteyam let you deem the appropriate time to stray from the tracks and move south to avoid being spotted. Soon enough, you saw the herd of prodigious beings, bathing in a shallow lake. You made your way slowly, sneaking on the ground, with Neteyam close to you, and you felt his arms grazing your sides every inch of the way.

The herd was protecting the calves, 5 in total, playing and splashing in the clear water. You watched in amazement, just enjoying the view of these seemingly ferocious beasts that in the moment, felt more like a family watching their children play at the local pool. You couldn’t believe the beauty and mild predisposition, the complex nature of these animals whose equivalents were long gone on Earth, long decimated by humans and their needless desire for wealth and acquisition, for mindless cruelty. You felt your stomach drop at the realisation that soon, this could be Pandora, if you didn’t fight will all your being in the upcoming war.

You felt a sudden gentle pressure on your lower back, a pressure you quickly identified as Neteyam’s hand and you shuddered at the touch. He neared his mouth to your ears, and you felt his warm breath tickling your neck, a sudden warmth pooling in your lower abdomen.

“You’re not allowed to kill anything yet, but I want you to show me how you would go about it. Show me your bow work, how would you aim from this position.”

You slowly removed your bow from from your person and sat up, in a now crouched stance, and loaded the arrow, doing your best to accommodate for the uncomfortable position you were in and the tight space you were sharing with another person. You held your breath, engaged your core, and aimed as if you were going to release your arrow on the target about 300m away. Neteyam’s large hand touched your upper thigh, by your left hip and squeezed gently. Your arm dropped suddenly and snapped your head in his direction. He didn’t react to your sudden snap, instead talking lowly, so as to not give your location away. “Your leg is not in a position by which you can maximise release. You will have more power in the shot if you place this knee on the ground and lean into it.”

You wanted to take that hand and either break it or redirect it on other parts of your body that felt like they would explode if they didn’t feel him, have his touch provide the relief that was desperately yearned for, needed. You wanted to scream at him or make him coax the screams out of you like a war-cry, wild and desperate. You wanted to kill him, you wanted him to kill you, slowly and painfully, taking his time on your body until you were falling apart at the seams around him. You hated him, you loved him. You hated him.

You gave him a hard look, an angry look directed at your thigh, and he removed his hand from you. You wondered if he knew, knew what he was doing, wondered if he felt the same way, if he too was struggling to catch his breath at the torture of knowing he can’t have you, claim you, right now, right in this second, right here. You hoped he did, hope it ate him alive, the yearning and the desire. Because that’s what it was doing to you, what he was doing to you. You turned your attention back to the herd and adjusted your position based on his advice. He was right, you could tell right away, as you felt a lot more power when aiming the arrow this time.

“Much better. We can go now, we will give the location to the hunting party and the will be able to secure us dinner for a couple of weeks from the back of a couple of Ikrans.”

You made your way out of their surroundings, and slowly started walking back to the village. After about half an hour, he stopped on a rock and removed the food he was carrying in a pouch. You didn’t join him, preferring to keep your distance and thus a clear mind, not being able to afford being weak around him anymore.

“I thought you were famished.” He says, with a slight smile. You shook your head and turned around, taking in the views of the forest, distracting yourself with the flowers reaching out their neon green tendrils towards you. You kneeled next to one, and touched them gently, enjoying the way they cupped around your hand and tugged, like they were urging you to come closer so they can spill their long-forgotten dreams to you. You heard him sigh loudly.

“Sorry for being a dick. Just had a fight with mum and dad, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have, and I am sorry. Come eat, please? I don’t want you passing out on me, you’re not as easy to carry as you used to be when you were human.”

You remained on your knees still, focused on only the plants and your gentle tug-of-war. You knew how much pressure Neteyam was under, has been for pretty much his entire life. A prodigy created… or made, no one could really know for sure, he began training when most babies learn to walk, and speak, and play. He has never had a childhood the way Lo’ak, or Kiri, or Tuk, or pretty much any other Na’vi children did, mostly fleeting moments of bliss in between a lot more moments of stress and struggle. He never complained, though. Not out loud, not to anyone else but you, once he realised you were a safe haven from the storm. You didn’t pass judgement, or make him feel bad for sharing his feelings, and he felt like he could tell you all the hardest truths his heart has always craved to speak out loud. You have always wanted to protect him from the world, a world that demanded so much of him, that asked for a sacrifice of which it was undeserving. Being Olo’yektan, leading the people, being the one person everyone relied on was a great honour, a great achievement - one you didn’t think he wanted, but was never given the chance to decline.

“What happened?”

You walked slowly towards the rock he was laying on, and sat at its foot, crossing your legs on the slightly damp grass. You grabbed a piece of jerky from the pile of food and slowly chewed through it, humming in appreciation at the smoky taste and rich flavour of the meat.

Neteyam grimaced and didn’t look at you, choosing to focus instead of his arm guards, picking at something that was clearly not there. “More sacrifices I need to make in the name of the future, of the people.”

“I see you still haven’t learnt to say no, even after all this time apart.”

Neteyam’s hand froze in midair, his eyes widening slightly - it was the first time you brought up the year apart. He braced himself for what he thought was the beginning of the end, of you finally demanding answers he didn’t think would ever satisfy you, but no other words left your lips.

“I can’t say no. I owe my parents everything I have, everything I am. This village, this life, is all I know. My dad gave up on everything he knew to stand up for our people, to make sure we’d get a future worth living, a family worth saving, a world still worth fighting for. He became Olo’yektan despite all that stood against him because he loved my mum, loved us, even then, even before we were born. My grandpa died defending this village, watching home tree get decimated in front of his eyes, with only the people’s safety on his mind and tongue. I see that bow that my mum cherishes like a gift from Eywa herself and I want to be worthy of it, someday. And if it means giving up some things, maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

“Maybe whatever you’re giving up is making room for something ever better, Neteyam. Sometimes we want something so bad, we can’t see the forest for the trees.”

He looks at you confused for a second.

“That’s a saying. What I’m trying to say is maybe you are over focused on something you want right now, that you think is the best thing for you, but maybe you just are not focusing on the bigger picture. Maybe in the future, whatever you’re giving up now will make room for something that was much better for you all along.”

Disappointment filled his chest at your words. Neteyam looked at you with deep sadness marking his features, and he could see you were trying to think of things to say that could make him feel better. In all honesty, he wanted - needed - you to tell him to be selfish, and trust his gut, and follow what he knew was right in his heart, but he also knew that being selfish is not a trait that came naturally to you. You have always respected the deep bond Neteyam had to his family and his people and you always used to tell him how proud of him you were for how strong he was, for the lengths he was willing to go to to protect and nurture those bonds.

You felt an overwhelming sense of grief at the realisation that you will never get to see him become Olo’yektan, see him become the man everybody knew he was. He would never be yours, and although that painful conclusion had settled in your soul and had time to scar in all the time you knew him, a new wound, deeper, bloodier, deadlier, tore your heart apart at the thought you would not even be able to watch from afar. You would have been satisfied with scraps, just watching him rule, and be, and love someone else and imagining it was you. You never thought you’d get more than that anyway, never had any delusions for more. The scraps would have been enough, and now even those were brutally taken from you, like everything else in this life.

You needed to leave, now.

“Should we head back? It’s getting late.”

You walked back in deep, uncomfortable silence. Eclipse made the nature shine and glimmer with colours your sadness dulled to muted tones. There was light coming from the village and you realise how badly you wanted to be alone, in your tent and read, or watch a movie or a show, and ignore this world for a little while while you licked your newly-opened wounds. Tonight was a communal dinner around the big bonfire in the centre of the village, and you felt grateful your presence would not be missed in such a crowd. You’ve come to love these dinners, another one of the many ways the tribe connected to the village and to each other, but tonight you couldn’t entertain even the thought long enough to count.

“Can you please tell your family I am sorry, but I will probably head to bed early. I’ll be early for breakfast tomorrow, I promise.”

“I can do that. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nodded absentmindedly and closed the flap of the tent shut.

Neteyam watched as you left him, still reeling from your conversation. Much like you, he just wished to hide in his family’s tent and pretend for a night things are different, that they are better. Actually, if we are talking about wishes, he wishes he could be in your tent. In all honestly, dealing with you on a day to day basis, seeing you, your body, touching it more and longer than he knew he reasonably had to, was making him think thoughts he knew he had no business thinking. In his wildest dreams, he’d be in your tent and making your eyes roll back in the way that drove him crazy. In his wildest dreams, he’d be coaxing sounds out of you that only he would ever hear. In his wildest dreams, your hands all over him would heal him and break him at the same time. He was desperately in need of some relief, and he loathed all decisions in his life that lead to you not being able to be the one to provide it for him.

He made his way to the bonfire, and greeted all of the Na’vi that respectfully bowed their heads at his arrival. He saw his family at the centre of the crowd, where they normally sat, and joined them silently. They all gave him uneasy looks - all but one. Lo’ak was blatantly glaring at the older Sully, a look of disappointment and disgust marring his normally kind face that reminded Neteyam so much of their dad.

“Did you tell her?”

Kiri elbowed Lo’ak in the abdomen, but he didn’t flinch. He did not even bother to acknowledge Kiri, or the low hiss escaping their mum’s lips - his eyes were still boring into Neteyam, unwavering.

“No.” Neteyam’s expression darkened and in a split second, he became the warrior his dad moulded him into. “And you will not, either, Lo’ak. Do you understand me?” Lo’ak had to look up to look at his brother who was now dangerously towering over him.

“Oh, the mighty warrior giving out orders, what else is new?”

“Lo’ak, that’s enough.” Neteyam heard Jake intervene, and he eventually had to physically put his body in between his two sons, who still refused to look away from each other.

“Fnawe’tu (coward).”

Neteyam watched his brother turn his back on his family and walk away from the feast, and although he wouldn’t admit it to himself, he knew deep down that Lo’ak was right.

You were almost robotically flipping through the directory of movies and tv shows on the laptop that you had with you in the village, not quite ready to go back to the lab and have to deal with the consequences of your newly acquired “condition”. You had all night to do experiments, and lie to yourself that you were fine until you eventually succumbed to a Xanax-induced blackout. You wanted to be in this body just a little while longer, because, in this body, it was easy to forget the realities of your actual life.

You saw a five-fingered hand emerge from the entrance to your tent, and you laughed incredulously at the clown you loved, who seemed to have a knack for improving your dour mood.

“I am here to bother you.” You got up and started making your way towards the entrance of your tent.

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” You say, laughing and pulling Lo’ak by the hand, so he stumbles unattractively into you.

You wrap your arms around him and hug him gently. “Skxawng.”

“I should, but I am here instead. We haven’t had movie night in so long.” He lay on your sleep mat and you hissed for him to move over. “You’re getting way too comfortable hissing at people.”

“Not people, Lo’ak, you!” You smiled saying that, knowing you were quoting Kiri, and he groaned exasperatedly.

A few more weeks passed, and you felt the discrepancy between your bodies become more pronounced than it had ever been. It turns out, the incubation period of a Na’vi virus in a human is not long at all, and roughly around last week, you began displaying symptoms. You were taking every drug under the sun to try to soften them, but you had seen one too many good Na’vi people die due to this to know what was lurking underneath the comfortable cushion of drug-induced health. Despite all that, you felt on top of the world in your avatar. You were continuously improving, and, with a little bit of luck, will be completing your first kill soon - the first stepping stone to becoming Taronyu, hunter. If you do that successfully, you will be taking your Iknimaya with other Na’vi apprentices, and finally get your own Ikran. You were buzzing at the thought, and the image of you flying in the sky was enough to push any other worries out of your mind.

After that weird day that ended with Lo’ak in your tent watching Friends together and teaching him the chords to a song you both loved, things went back to normal, sort of. You couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that the Sullys were hiding something from you. They exchanged looks, and avoided certain subjects, and you were starting to be worried they guessed you were ill, and were tiptoeing around the subject so as to not upset you. That was a good theory, although it could not explain the heavy tension between Neteyam and Lo’ak that also started that night.

You saw them bicker and fight your whole life: two opposing personalities, both of whom had misunderstandings about the other. Neteyam could never understand Lo’ak, understand that, despite being the chieftain’s son and the grandson of the Tsahik and former Olo’yektan, people still looked at him like he was not quite full Na’vi. His eyebrows and five fingers made his appearance uncanny enough to always attract whispers and looks, and despite Lo’ak’s apparent devil-may-care attitude, he cared. Neteyam could also not understand anyone who wished to live freely and discover themselves, make decisions and choices that would lead to a happy, fulfilled life, rather than a proud and accomplished one. Finally, Neteyam did not understand that skill and tenacity doesn’t come easy to everybody, and the weight of living in his shadow was bearing heavily on his baby brother’s back.

On the other hand, Lo’ak never tried to understand the burden Neteyam had to carry, because, in his desire to not appear weak, he took it in strides and never complained. Lo’ak never fully understood the downfalls of what being “the perfect son” brings: no freedom, no childhood, no time, no fun, no choice. He only ever focused on the positives: praise from his family and clan, skill and composure, the title of future Leader of the Omatikaya. He will also never be able to understand the depths of Neteyam’s love for him, who, despite all their differences, would be willing to sacrifice everything, even his own life, to make sure his baby brother would never having to experience these burdens.

This tension felt like more. More than you’ve ever seen, not mended in time, they were always glowering at each other and only speaking to each other if prompted or forced by their increasingly frustrated family. You tried to talk to both of them individually and ask, but you were promptly sent on your way each time. You could tell Lo’ak was itching to spit it out, but every time he got close, he flashed you a look of hurt and fear, and moved on.

Eventually, you stopped worrying about it. It will come out in time, and you had better things to worry about. Your training became brutal after that day tracking Sturmbeests. Neteyam would come to your tent before dawn, sometimes having to wait for you while you woke up in your Avatar body, and you were always gone past eclipse. You were tracking, joining hunting parties to learn, working on shooting arrows while on Pa’li or in nearly impossible positions (he made you shoot targets hanging upside down from the branches of trees, seriously) and working on guns and practicing with Jake and his soldiers. Jake made you his second-in-command during these sessions, and you enjoyed having the roles reversed and having to watch Neteyam squirm every time you touched his arm, or waist, or thighs, in order to adjust his shooting form. You also taught Lo’ak, sometimes late in the nights, where he would sneak into your tent and ask you questions about guns that he hoped would bring him in his father’s good graces for once in his life. You loved teaching them, and you felt powerful with all the eyes on you, trying to absorb every piece of information coming out of your mouth.

“In your hands, you are holding a sub machine-gun.” You said and you made your way through the 10 soldiers in your midst. “It can fire up 600 rounds per minute. You have a button on the side of the weapon, as you can see right there”, you stopped and show everyone on your own weapon, “that allows you to choose between semi automatic and fully automatic. What’s the difference, Lo’ak?”

“A semi-automatic guns fires one shot when you pull the trigger, a fully automatic gun fires continuously until you release the trigger.”

“Tsantu (good guy)!” you said with an intimate smile. Lo’ak was making amazing progress, and you were proud to be even a small reason why.

Neteyam gave Lo’ak a hard look as he answered your question. He was angry with his brother because of his recent attitude, he thought. That’s the reason. Not at all because you were smiling at him with that dazzling smile that used to be reserved for him years ago, definitely not because he knew Lo’ak was sneaking in your tent at night and doing Eywa-knows-what, a fact which kept Neteyam up nights with images he would do everything in his power to be able to erase from his brain. Neteyam was exhausted. He hasn’t slept since this thing started, not until Lo’ak returned to his tent after his meetings with you, and he was able to look at him in the dim light of the night and gauge for himself if his brother was flushed, or panting, or extra happy for one reason or another. Despite never seeing anything that he could deem suspicious, the images of his baby brother taking for himself what was his, what should be his, haunted him and made him sick to his stomach.

Coward. Lo’ak words rang in his ears incessantly throughout each day, never being able to fully block them out.

Neteyam saw you move from Lo’ak and towards him, and tried to remember what they were talking about. Sub-machine guns, right.

“Now, SMGs are best used in tighter quarters or close to mid-range. The spread will make it inefficient for long-range. If you find yourself on the back of your Ikran shooting at a plane or Valkyrie, make sure you close the gap between you or use your bow, instead.”

“An SMG will have a lot of recoil, making it harder to shoot accurately, but there are a few tips you can use to make to improve your aim and accuracy.”

“First. Always fire in short bursts, if you are firing on automatic mode. A few shots at a time will make sure the kick is not unmanageable. Two, account for the kick and adjust your aim to compensate. Think of shooting an arrow and how you always take the wind, its direction, speed and power in consideration before you actually release. It’s a similar principle. The recoil will make the gun kick upwards, so always aim slightly lower than what you want to hit. Three, don’t aim for the head. Leave that for a bow or an assault/sniper rifle with a scope. Aim for the abdomen and chest, since that is a wider target and more likely to hit. Everyone on the same page?”

Neteyam was forever in awe of you, but it was particularly impressive watching you now. You were confident and powerful and knowledgeable. Neteyam felt bad admitting it, but you were a much better teacher than their dad ever was. Toruk Makto had many incredible qualities, but his patience was definitely not amongst them, and his lessons tend to get a bit derailed by his inability to understand that Na’vi are not predisposed to guns or understanding Sky People technology. You were calm, and kind, and funny, and you made it easy for everyone to follow your instructions. In the span on a few weeks, all of the Na’vi and Avatar soldiers training for the upcoming war became better at pretty much every aspect that they were training in, and I think everyone felt just a bit more comfortable about the conflict that was soon to befall them, with you by their side.

After the lesson was complete, you left alongside Lo’ak, sparing one last look in Neteyam’s direction. He was already watching you, and you saw a fleeting angry look that was quickly replaced with an expressionless mask. He was getting good at that, you thought.

“Do you want to do anything? If I have to listen to Kiri talk about all the new types of flowers and plants and shit she keeps finding in the woods, I will lose my mind.”

“Be nice.”

Kiri has been particularly hyperfixated on her newfound discoveries recently, and you tried your best to pay attention to every time she was describing them, in detail, but in reality you were always so exhausted by the time dinner came around that you were only assimilating about a tenth of all the words coming out of her mouth. You felt bad, and made a mental note to dedicate a couple of days to your friend that you saw less and less each week.

“Your Iknimaya is getting closer and closer each day, how do you feel?”

“Honestly I haven’t thought about it that much, just taking it one day at a time.”

“I think you should start thinking about it, cause it’s going to happen. You’ve managed to blow everyone’s expectations out of the water. It barely been two months since you got your avatar body, not even my dad did this so fast. You were made for this, Angel.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. You were grateful for Lo’ak’s faith in you, but with everything happening in your human body, it felt pointless looking towards the future.

“You will be one of us, soon. I’ve had dreams about this my whole life, you know? It’s like I manifested your Avatar, Norm should be thanking me.”

“Lo’ak…”

You didn’t like the turn this conversation took, and felt an uncomfortable twinge settle in your chest at his words.

“There are perks that come with being an Omatikaya, you know? You can make your bow out of the wood of the Home Tree… and you can choose a mate.”

Fuck.

Neteyam was making his way back to the village with the rest of the soldiers, casually chatting to one of the Avatars returning with them. He wasn’t paying attention to the way until his body knocked into one of the Na’vi walking in front of him. Utsou was staring intently at a scene unfolding in front of him, a scene that turned Neteyam’s blood to shards of glass, leaving cuts and bruises along his entire body. It was you, smiling, running your hand up and down Lo’ak’s arm whilst his hand was cupping your face and caressing your cheek. It was such an intimate interaction, it felt wrong to everyone there to even be able to witness it, and Neteyam felt himself becoming nauseous. With the image now seared into his memory and rage turning his breaths to pants, he turned around and left everything - everyone - behind.

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @hayhay9091

#neteyam #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #loak reader #avatar loak

479 notes · View notes