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#Some dumb problem of mine
iamblueraspberry · 6 months
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My jaw has been hurting ALL DAY today and it has been MISERABLE.
I had a burrito for lunch and it really hurt to chew. I could barely even eat my dinner 'cause it hurt so much, and ibuprofen hasn't done a whole lot to help with the pain (my sibling told me I probably haven't taken enough but I'm too scared to take more than 2 pills at a time).
I feel kind of dumb for not getting it checked out but my jaw almost ALWAYS hurts so I thought the pain would lessen throughout the day (like it does sometimes on other days) but it didn't.
I think it maybe might be dislocated but I'm not sure?????? I didn't even do anything to hurt it though???????? I dunno and it's really freaking me out.
It's super late right now (it's after 1 am) so I can't go to a doctor to get it checked out.
I'm gonna keep an eye on things and see if things feel better in the morning. If it doesn't get better I'm gonna see if I can go in to my doctor's to get it looked at.
Wish me luck y'all.
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acesammy · 1 year
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On the one hand I desperately crave close connections with people… on the other, I am so much more functional as an individual.
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wrecking · 7 months
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edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore
#d#my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is#i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i#cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things#and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness#and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person#instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo#and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me#that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now#and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just#processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others#and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik#there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig#which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think#idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like#what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is#just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like#i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it#like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess#not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others#this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head#i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore#which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it#i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust#and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on#maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things
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timeisacephalopod · 1 year
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I love my mom but sometimes, for lack of a better way to put it, she acts like an entitled boomer. It's already a peeve of mine when people bitch about kids and what they're bitching about is kids doing completely normal, expected shit for kids to do but my mom takes it a step further and implies my nieces doing normal kid idiocy is like a personal failing and ok. Look, my youngest niece is rammy as hell this kid is a bowling ball and she's here to win, but she's seven. I expect seven year olds to be Like That and be empty head no thoughts until they break something, that's normal. No sense in getting pissed off at a seven year old for acting exactly the way you'd expect them to, but the thing that extra pisses me off is that instead of just making peace with this and teaching any of my nieces where they went wrong and how to fix it my mom just kind of expects literal children to be able to just get some verbal feedback and figure it out?? Like come on now, I have 2 siblings surely she should know zero kids are equipped to get not very useful feedback and figure out how to apply it to everything??
My oldest niece gets it the worst and every time my mom says shit about personal responsibility I want to roll my eyes so hard they pack their bags and go on a vacation to Hawaii because my niece is 12 (almost 13)- if she's not taking 'personal responsibility' then someone didn't teach her how to or at least not in a way that stuck and worked for her. It's actually the adults personal responsibility to teach a child how to develop emotional maturity, not for a kid to be grated about all the damn time like any 12 year old is equiped to be The Most Emotionally Mature Ever. Problem being my mom is NOT good at taking feedback on parenting so if I say anything I gotta wrap it up nice and sweet and make sure it comes off almost more like offering advice rather than criticism, which irritates me because "if your so pissed off about this behavior why don't you do something about it and NO not the only thing you've been trying for years and complaining doesn't work because fucking obviously why do I have to explain this to someone who surely knows far more about parenting than I would" is a lot easier than my methods that aren't working any better than my mom's.
#winters ramblings#the biggest problem is that when i HAVE pointed this out she points ME out. half the time i never even needed to be tokd what for#my susters did dumb sbit and i decided not to do that same dumb shit but like you cant take a particularly smart kid#and decide ALL kids are like that. neither of my sisters were like that especially my middle sister#so like why the hell am i being used as an example here lmao im not relevant in this case#my nieces are not weirdly smart emotionally like i was and id also like to point out HALF MY PARENTS WERE DYING#for nearly all of my childhood that i can remember. im pretty sure THATS what made me Like That. i just had am awareness most kids dont#because most kids arent as unlucky as i was to go through something so harrowing. my sisters also had shit but not like that#their shit i think made it hard for them to do relationship stuff whereas mine made me a snart kid and an extremely distrustful adult#still if youre mad a kid is acting A Fool its the ADULTS job to make sure that kid is bding taught ahat they need to know#in a way THEY understand and put to use. not repeating how YOU understand shit over and over again#my mom is great dont get me wrong but sometimes she does shit and i want to roll my eyes because its so stupid#kids do not naturally posess every adult skill in the book and actually will probably take their WHOLE livesto develop#so instead of being mad a seven year old rams shit around give that kid 80 billion reminders every time theyre rammy#not to do that. drop in an example where they brine so.#something they liked because nothing convinces kids to behave like being reminded that they actually like their stuff#and even then a million more things will break. thata how kids work#if i busted some shit being rammy then that would be that abd id clean it up. kids deserve the same courtesy
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Ok but ‘The Interviewer Wants To Know About Fashion’ ? Oh my god 10/10 poem
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thestamp3d3 · 7 months
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HOW IS MY BROTHER 27 AND DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO HIS OWN WASH JESUS CHRIST
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cactusdodes · 9 months
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#sometimes having an aquarius as a roommate is infuriating#they just always think they're right no matter what#we're both stretching our septum's to have stacks and are at 3 rings each#and they literally just said bro mine is fucked up my rings are twisted#and i looked and yeah they like interlocked two of their hoops and i told them they should take one out and fix it#and they immediately got defensive like 'why what's it matter' and i was like 'they're twisted. it's gonna irritate it' and they're like#'it's only twisted at the bottom it doesn't matter'#and idk like i'm trying to get a piercing apprenticeship. i actually did research before starting to stack my septum. they just shoved em in#*them in#like i'm not saying i know everything but i've done some reading on it. it's not good to have them interlocked and twisted like that#and like they literally just said that theirs is fucked up and then backtracked when i gave them advice??#and like we don't have issues like this often but it's so infuriating when we do#bc they will say they have a problem or something but when i say something to help they kinda act like i'm dumb#and idk i feel bad bc i feel like i only ever talk about them on here to complain about them#but i really do love them and they've helped me a lot#both as a person bc i've gotten a lot more bold and come out of my shell bc of them and also in skating. i wouldn't have improved anywhere#near as much as i have if it weren't for them#but it does get infuriating sometimes#i think it's because i'm not very good at articulating why i'm right a lot of the time. like i'll know 'a thing' but not be able to explain#it so they take that as me not actually knowing what i'm talking about when i just can't articulate it very well
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specshroom · 3 months
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★ - Some assistance
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You and your boyfriend are lounging on the couch in the living room, winding down after a long day. He's drinking his evening tea and reading while you unsuccessfully distract yourself by flicking through channels on the TV. You decide to just come out and ask what you've been meaning to ask for awhile now.
"Kento? Do you think you could make me squirt?"
This poor man chokes on his tea and almost messes it on his home shirt. He just looks at you with a face that says "Why would you ask me something like that so suddenly?" You just look at him deadpan waiting for his response. He clears his throat and composes himself, realising it was a somewhat serious question and his girlfriend (soon to be fiancé, hopefully) wasn't just playing some dumb joke. 
"Well... I'm sure I could try, Y/n. But why bring that up so out of the blue, if you mind me asking."
He responds, as polite as always. He makes you feel so safe in his presence it's almost supernatural.
"Uh... I've just been thinking about it for awhile, I guess." He places his mug on the coffee table, the one that says "Live, Laugh, Love" in exaggerated curly font, courtesy of Gojo. He doesn't know why you insist on making his tea in that mug but he drinks it every time anyway. He brings your legs into his lap and lightly massages them silently asking you to continue. 
"I'm just curious to see if I can is all. Whenever I've tried to do it myself, I always just get too sensitive and stop, but... If I had someone else do it, I think I might actually be able to."
You explain this to him almost like a scientist explains their hypothesis, like you've thought about it for awhile. He rubs under your shins and thinks for a bit. he would very much like to be the one to make you squirt and he's confident in his abilities but he also doesn't want you to be upset if you end up not being able to do it.
"I also just think it would be really hot if you made me squirt." 
That breaks him out of his thoughts with a disbelieving huff. 
"The problem is that when I get sensitive I'm gonna be yelling for you to stop out of second nature. But you can't stop Kento, you have to keep going until I either squirt or say the safe word. Can you do that, Baby?" Nanami looks up at your serious face, you really have thought about this quite a bit. He nods his head, sealing the deal. You just stare at eachother for a moment longer, the TV still going in the back. You break out in a smile, unable to keep the semi-serious atmosphere. 
"Can- can we do it now?" You ask the man on the opposite end of the couch while you try and stifle a giggle. 
Nanami smiles and pulls you closer to him by your legs. You yelp as you get yanked into his lap where he attacks your neck with kisses. He hoists you up and starts walking to the bedroom. Once he sets you onto your shared bed, you start removing your shirt and shorts while he rummages in the cupboard for a towel that he puts down on the bed before undressing himself.
You're almost shaking with excitement and anticipation. Nanami sits against the headboard in nothing but his boxers, placing the towel on the bed in front of him. He watches as you turn to him with that sultry look in your eyes. You crawl your way up the bed on all fours until you're right between his muscular thighs. Your hands glide up his thighs and waist, you kiss him with need and he reciprocates. You break the connection to feel yourself up infront of him and sensually take off your bra. You present yourself to him and kiss him again before turning around and pressing your back to his chest. 
His hands go to your waist to gently squeeze and rub there. You spare no flare when taking off your panties and you adjust yourself so that both your legs are wide open, slightly bent and his stronger ones are over yours, forcing them to stay open.
"Put your legs like this so that it stops me from closing mine when it gets too sensitive." 
You say as you help him into the position you want. Nanami chuckles and bends down to say lowly into your ear.
"You really have thought this whole thing through, huh?" 
You flush and nod your head as his hand moves down your body to where you want him the most. His touch is gentle at first, lightly stroking down your clit and lips, gathering wetness with his fingers. He starts to work his finger into you and gently rubs your clit with the other hand, coaxing you to melt into his touch. You start moaning and groaning with the pleasure your wonderful boyfriend is giving you. 
With both his hands working on your pussy so diligently, it's no wonder your first orgasm washes over you pretty quickly. Nanami keeps going at the same steady pace after you cum and it's the first out of the ordinary occurrence in this session. You usually would get a grace period after you cum to come down from the high but you and Nanami have a goal. The fact that you get no chance to come down at all is fucking with your brain and the fucked out feeling is just multiplying every second his strong hands play with your pussy. 
Nanami lays back a bit, forcing you to also lay back and expose yourself a bit more as you begin to writhe and squirm. One hand is still diligently circling your clit as he works his two middle fingers into you, slamming into that perfect spot inside you over and over and over again. You get louder and more frantic as the second orgasm hits you. Your head falls back on Nanamis chest as you groan his name. 
"Uuuuh Fuck! Feels so good Kento, soo good, so good, s' good, s' good, s' gud." You mumble and moan to him. Your second orgasm hits you full force and the pleasure doesn't stop or slow down, in fact it only gets more intense. He doesn't even slow down despite you're kicking legs and bucking hips.
Nanami eventually brings you to a third orgasm, now things really start to feel sensitive and your whines and cries of overstimulation get louder but the man doesn't tire. He keeps going, mumbling things like "Cmon, cmon Love." And "You can do it Darling". 
Before you know it the fourth wave hits you like a train, this is where you get frantically desperate as you realize he isnt even slowing down. You're now actively trying to get out of his iron hold, trying to close your legs just a little but his strong thighs keep you open for him. You're squirming and struggling and crying out.
"Wait wait wait wait!".
Your pussy is so raw and sensitive, you almost beg him to slow down but the man is going even stronger now. He's more precise with his movements, touching all the right spots with just the right amount of force to make you weep. 
"Wait Ken! It's sensitive, stoooop stopstopstop!" You hands go to his to try and make him slow down a little but Nanami isn't having any of that. You set out a goal for yourself and clear rules. He is going to make sure you reach your goals like the good partner he is.
He cages your arms against your chest with one arm hugged around you while the other still goes at your clit, rubbing frantic but deliberate circles into the pink flesh with his callous palm. The wet slick sounds of your pussy being bullied by the man you love are drowned out by the sounds coming from your mouth.
You're screaming now, legs shaking and kicking, not nearly strong enough to budge against Nanami's thick thighs forcing them wide open. Your entire body begins convulsing and spasming, you swear you feel like you're going to pee but you don't even have the mind to be concerned about that. You can only scream an intelligible jumble of pleas at this point as your nails dig into his arm. 
"Cmon Honey, just one more f'me, your doing so well."
The praise makes you go even dumber as you're quickly brought to the end of your rope. The last strand snaps and a tidel wave of violent hot pleasure comes crashing down on your entire being. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your screams turn to silent hiccups and overwhelmed chokes.
Your body convulses violently and your back arches off Nanamis chest as he holds you tightly to his chest. It's by far the most intense orgasm of your life and you don't even register the jet of clear liquid shooting out from you untill you hear Nanamis loud groan at the sight.
"There you go, that's my girl."
You're brought back to earth and let out a long groan as Nanami presses up on the hood of your clit to force more squirt out of you, the feeling is even more euphoric than you thought it could ever be. 
Nanami pats your pussy, making sure he gets every last drop out as your wetness trickles down your pussy and ass onto the towel Nanami set down, which was definitely not enough to keep the bed dry. You drop your body completely limp onto Nanamis chest as you both catch your breath.
Nanami releases your arms and your hand immediately goes to cup your swollen, abused pussy with a whine. Nanami chuckles and runs his hands down your back and around your waist, soothing you, bringing you down gently while mumbling little praises. You curl up on top of him and dig your face into his neck with another small whine. 
"Love you s'much." You mumble into his hot skin. He chuckles at you once again. 
"I love you too, Baby."
-★
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imxnotxhere · 5 months
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Acotar Men Fic Recs
** Updated 09/02/2024 **
I already made a list for azriel which was actually meant as a list for all the characters I read for but I read a lot more of azriel fics because he's my baby and the list was getting too long. So here are the rest of the characters and I also added some more azzy drabbles sorry
Azriel (drabbles)
@gothicbabydollz
az spitting in your mouth - smut
@princess-tulip-writes
az pleasuring his mate with truthteller - smut, big fan of truthteller
@fieldofdaisiies
azriel... - fluff, smut
azriel's hands - fluff, smut
Rhysand
@azsazz
dioxazine part 2 - fluff, smut, modern au, art school au
the lord's work - smut
if you should die before you wake - smut, rhys x cass x azriel x reader
just hold on - smut
a court of four horsemen - smut, part of a series
double duty - smut, rhys x reader x cass
what's mine - smut, rhys x eris x reader
@tadpolesonalgae
mine - smut, check warnings!
knocked up - smut
vampire!rhysand drabble - smut
professor!rhys headcanons part 2 - smut
soothing - fluff, aftercare
@leafsandstarlight
easy like sunday morning - fluff, smut
@azrielbrainrot
my body keeps saying it's yours - smut
@writingsbychlo
home to us - fluff
rhys as a pleasure dom - smut - technically a drabble? blurb?
@azrielscrown
mirror mirror - smut
daylight - fluff
@acourtofwhatthefuck
shrinking violet - smut
@shadowdaddies
if i catch you i fuck you - smut
Cassian
@azsazz
mirror mirror - smut
take it - smut
a court of four horsemen - smut, part of a series
@tadpolesonalgae
on the strategy board - smut
pools of sunlight - fluff
@leafsandstarlight
halley's comet - angst, smut
@princess-tulip-writes
drabble - smut - az x cass x reader
Eris
@acourtofmenandthirst
runaway - angst, smut
fox hunting - smut
closed until further notice - fluff, smut, coffee shop au
smut blurb
smut blurb II
@leafsandstarlight
destiny's battleground - angst, smut
my lovely throne - smut
despite our differences - angst, smut, series
the prince of blood part 2 part 3 - vampire!eris
@tadpolesonalgae
servitude - smut
thumb prints - smut
@serpentandlily
sly fox, dumb bunny - series
@azsazz
the burning of the autumn leaves and the roaring of my yearning heart - angst, smut
soul on fire - smut
a court of four horsemen - smut, part of a series
@azrielbrainrot
fire on fire - angst?
@gothicbabydollz
riding eris' face - smut, drabble
riding eris' thigh - smut, drabble
@honeybeefae
cauldron fated - angst, smut
@princess-tulip-writes
making out with eris while giving him a handjob - smut, drabble
praise kink eris - smut, drabble
Lucien
@tadpolesonalgae
solecist night - smut
@acourtofwhatthefuck
yell at me again - smut
personal problem - smut
the moon on a string - fluff
@princess-tulip-writes
drabble - smut
drabble - smut, az x lucien x reader (kind of)
@gothicbabydollz
dom lucien - smut, human!reader
Helion
@leafsandstarlight
a high lord's scholar - fluff
@tadpolesonalgae
new mechanisms - smut
sweet like peaches - smut
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wanders-in-wonderland · 8 months
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Please Professor
It’s my first upper division English literature class and only a month into the semester but I’m already struggling and getting marked D’s and F’s on assignments. I can’t fail this class, I need it to keep my university scholarship to stay in school. I reach out to my professor, asking to meet with him for some extra guidance and he agrees, but only has availabilities late in the evenings. I’m happy to comply, making the trek from my dorm to the English building at 9pm for our first meeting.
The English department is on the edge of campus and when I walk into the building, the whole place looks deserted this late at night. His office is the only one with lights on and I knock softly on his open door before stepping in.
“Hi Professor, thank you so much for finding the time to meet with me for extra help!” He looks up from the papers he’s grading and smiles at me. “Not a problem, I know my class can be overwhelming for a lot of students who aren’t used to the rigor that I expect. Come in and take a seat, we’ll have you whipped up into shape in no time.” He steps out from behind his desk and closes the door behind me as I walk in. I’m too preoccupied with getting my notes out to notice that he turns the lock on the door, locking us in.
“Let’s talk about some of your recent work, and we’ll work on a few things I have my mind on to help with your technique.” He circles around to the bookcase against his wall, grabbing a textbook. “Oh go ahead and reach over my desk to grab that workbook on my desk. There are some exercises there that I think will help you.”
I stand and reach across his large, dark-stained wood desk to grab the book. Suddenly, he’s on me. Before I can straighten up, he grabs the back of my neck and slams me against his desk. I scream briefly as the workbook tumbles out of my hand and I find myself pressed against the desk, the front of my body flush on it while I’m bent over. Before I have time to react fully, he bends down over me, and whispers darkly, “Now don’t struggle, because I’d hate to have to fail you for being a bad student. And I know how badly you need my class to stay in your program so right now, you listen to me and be a good girl and maybe I’ll consider letting you pass my class.”
I cry out, “Stop please professor, I don’t understand, what are you doing?”
“Of course you don’t understand, you stupid little slut. Too dumb to even comprehend what’s going on around you huh?” He chuckles darkly and I feel his hand cup my ass briefly before it cracks down on me, spanking me harshly over my skirt.
“Ah, wait no! Please, you can’t do this!” I try and push up off the table but he’s too strong. “Oh no pretty slut, you are going to take whatever I give you or else I will fail you right now and you’ll be kicked out of the school by the end of the week. Do you want that instead?” His hand rests on my ass, kneading my flesh roughly and the other one increases the pressure on the back of my neck.
“Please, no,” I whimper brokenly. I feel him breathe deep against my hair and he groans softly. “You’re mine for the semester, slut. And you are going to do whatever I want, just to keep your pretty little self on your scholarship.”
I start to cry, shaking slightly as my tears are dripping down my face and onto his desk. His hand comes off my neck and I hold still, knowing I can’t fight back in any way. His hand flips my skirt up and he sees the white panties I’m wearing with pink little bows printed all over them. “So pretty, slut,” he says as he runs a finger down between the globes of my ass, towards my pussy. I whimper softly and my hands come to grip the side of his desk.
“I don’t want you making any noise,” he says and without warning, I feel his hand crack down on my ass again, this time with more force. The spank makes my body lurch forward on the desk, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from crying out. He doesn’t hesitate as he begins to rain down harsh spanks all over my ass and upper thighs. I cry harder, muffling my sobs as best I can as I feel each hit adding to the soreness.
He’s methodical as he continues, not stopping or slowing for what feels like hours. My ass and thighs are burning but slowly, I can feel my pussy reacting as well, swelling and starting to drip more and more with each hit. I squirm slightly, trying to discreetly rub my legs together to relieve some of the tension. He notices.
“You’re getting turned on by this aren’t you, slut?” He laughs softly and I whimper in protest, “Please no, I’m not, please stop.”
He grabs my neck again, “Don’t lie, that’s not the behavior of a good student. I can see your pretty pussy dripping through your panties from here, you dirty little slut.” I whimper, feeling my face burn as hot as my ass. He reaches down and slides a hand against my pussy, through my panties and I gasp. His fingers dance along my lips, my wetness making my panties cling to the outline of my cunt. Without warning, he grips my panties and tears them away from my body, leaving my pussy fully exposed and my skirt still bunched around my waist. I whimper and feel myself gush a little at his actions, the clench of my cunt making me feel even worse.
His fingers come to meet my bare body now, and he slides them against my slit, laughing when he feels how much I’m dripping. “Oh we’re gonna have fun this semester,” he says. His fingers pluck my swollen clit, and I arch my back and moan, the sound erupting out of me unbidden. He’s relentless as he works my clit quickly, my wetness letting his fingers slide deliciously over me, the friction making me eyes roll slightly. My legs are trembling as I feel my orgasm fast approaching and he knows it too. “Little slut, are you going to cum like this? All splayed out for your professor, so desperate for that passing grade that you’ll do anything, even degrade yourself like a common whore?” I whine softly, my head spinning from the pleasure as my pussy clenches.
I vaguely hear his belt jingling and the rustle of clothing but I’m too preoccupied with my approaching orgasm to understand what that means. He doesn’t let up on my clit and I can feel myself seconds from erupting, moans and whimpers coming out of my mouth desperately.
My body seizes and I feel my orgasm rush through me, making me let out a strangled moan as feeling hits. Suddenly, I feel his long, hard cock slam into my cunt and I wail. He fucks me hard and fast through my orgasm, not stopping to let me adjust to his length or his speed. I’m scrambling to stay on the desk as he rails into me, his harsh grunts in my ear and his bruising grip on my hips. “That’s it, squeeze my cock just like that, slut. Fuck, your cunt feels so good.”
My eyes roll back into my head as his cock pound into me, my previous orgasm hasn’t even faded before I feel a second one building. He doesn’t seem to care about slowing down to let me recover as he keeps his unforgiving pace, drilling into me and pulling groans and whimpers out of me. His hand goes back to play with my clit and I scream, the throbbing of my cunt mixed with his attention pushes my second orgasm over the edge. I feel my walls flutter around his cock and he groans in my ear as I cum, sobbing from the overstimulation. He doesn’t stop, he fucks me through my second orgasm, the rubbing of his cock against my g-spot making me see stars.
“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum in your tight little pussy slut.” I feel his thrusts becoming erratic as he nears his orgasm. “I hope you’re on birth control, slut, because I’m gonna fill your cunt,” he says, his words punctuated by his thrusts. His groan is deep and guttural when he cums, the feeling of his cock erupting inside of me making my cunt clench harder around him, pulling him in. He stops for a second, letting his body cover mine, pressing even harder into the desk. His harsh breathing in my ear sends shivers down my spine.
“Flip over, get on the table, and hold yourself open,” his voice is gravelly as he pulls away from me, his cum dripping out of my cunt onto my legs. I whimper as I force my body to comply, pushing my sore and fucked out body onto his desk and spreading my legs, leaving my dripping cunt exposed to him. He smirks, “Stay there, slut.” He circles around his desk and I hear him opening a drawer and grabbing something before he comes back. It’s a vibrator. My eyes widen and I whimper, “Wait, no please. I can’t, it’s too much.” He leans into my face and growls darkly, “I don’t care, you’ll take what I give if you want to pass my class, got it slut?” I nod as tears start to fall again.
He clicks the vibrator on and I watch as the head blurs with its intensity. He brings it to my cunt, smirking slightly as he places his free hand on my hip, preemptively holding me down. His hand travels down and parts my folds to reveal my swollen clit, red and puffy from his previous attention. Without any preparation, he pushes the head of the vibrator directly on my clit and I scream. The intensity is so high and my body is already reeling from the overstimulation from his cock. The vibrator makes it all so much worse, but so good. I arch my back and buck my hips, desperately trying to dislodge him. “It’s time to earn your next grade, slut,” he says smirking.
“For every orgasm, you get 10%. Cum 10 times, and you’ll get 100% on the next essay.” My eyes widen and I sob, “No please, I can’t, please it’s too much!”
He smirks, “Or I could fail you now.”
“Ah please, no no no!” I’m crying, from the feeling of my poor clit being so thoroughly overstimulated and from the idea of him failing me. Despite my previous orgasms, I feel myself barreling towards another. The feeling builds as he grounds the vibrator harder against my clit, and I scream it out, feeling my pussy gush as I squirm and shake. He smirks, “10%.”
My next orgasm seems to blend with the first and I’m hardly coherent enough to process his words as he forces me to cum again and again.
Thirty minutes later, I’ve cum seven more times and my body is at its limit. “Please no more, please professor.” I’m almost unconscious, my voice cracking from my constant screaming and my cunt bright red from the vibrator. He’s uncaring as he stands over me, forcing my body to endure orgasm after orgasm.
“Just one more and you get a 100%, you’re so close, slut. Don’t stop now.” His smile is feral as he keeps the vibrator directly in my clit. My legs shake and I feel myself teetering at the edge of one more orgasm. The feeling overwhelms me, pain and pleasure blending into a euphoric feeling and my eyes roll and my back arches for one final time.
As the orgasm fades, my body lies limp, my legs dangling off his desk and head lolling. He finally clicks off the vibrator. “Good job slut, your first A in my class. Keep it up and maybe you’ll be passing in a month or so. I’ll see you next week same time.”
The semester ended last week and my grade for the class is already finalized on my transcript, an A+. But here I am, spread wide on his desk again, my cunt clenching and dripping around his cock as I cum like a perfect little whore for him.
“Such a good slut.”
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beggars-opera · 5 months
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Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.
In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")
Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.
There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.
It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.
In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.
It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.
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thefaefiction · 11 months
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In Too Deep. [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]
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PAIRING: Tom Hiddleston x Reader GENRE: Smut !! WARNINGS: Age gap, teacher x student relationship, smut, daddy kink, praise, piv sex, choking, degradation if you squint, aftercare, fem!reader, written with a chubbier reader in mind but it's not obvious, also the beginning is rushed SUMMARY: After developing an intense relationship with your English professor Mr. Hiddleston, you both are in too deep to let it go to waste.
A/N: im not gonna lie i had no clue how to actually begin this fic because it's literally just an excuse for me to indulge in my delusions so sorry that the first couple paragraphs are weird and rushed </3 also the school email domain is fake idk if it's real don't pay attention to it LMAO
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Your obsession with your English professor was no secret to your friends. Elio, your long term best friend and dormmate, has had to interrupt you from your delusions on more than one occasion which was already one too many -- whether that be purposefully failing a paper to see him after class, wearing a skirt far too short and dropping a pencil in a calculated manner in front of him, or staring at him a little too intently during lectures -- it was becoming a problem.
In the professor's multiple classes of forty-some-odd students, there really were only a few that were delusional enough to believe they could sleep with their teacher. The difference between you and them was that you were patient with your actions and the effects it had on him.
Ultimately your patience paid off, as one Friday you received an ominous email with the heading titled 'Make-up Work' from a particular '[email protected].' In the details, he simply requested your presence at a disclosed location only ten minutes from campus on Sunday. It was not an office nor a dorm, but a house.
It wasn't long before his intentions were made clear when you arrived; his eyes dark with lust and a half buttoned shirt upon opening the door.
"(Y/N)," He welcomed, cocking his head and shutting the door behind you. "Lovely to see you."
"Pleasure's mine," You reply, never breaking eye contact. You slide your coat off and he takes it in his hands, hanging it up for you. You knew where the night was going to end -- inviting a student to talk not just outside of office hours, but in the professor's home, is not something usual.
"I thought we could discuss an appropriate way to help get your grade back up in my class," He begins. His eyes look down for a moment, observing your obviously risqué attire. "Do you have an idea as to what way that might be?"
He was going to make you say it. There was no way around it. Still, you decided to entertain his antics until it was made painfully and obviously clear he was trying to get you to say what you know he wants you to say.
"I think," You start, voice beginning to shake. The confidence you had starting this endeavor was suddenly challenged. "I think one-on-one time is certainly needed." You press your lips together in a line.
He hums, taking an agonizing step closer. He looks down into your eyes, furrowing his brows and letting out a soft laugh. "I'm not dumb, (Y/N)," he retorts. "I know you're a smart girl. You're excellent, actually -- some of the best writing from all of my classes combined." The professor stops, taking a step back to his original position. "So why are you really here?"
A moment of silence.
"You know why," You sheepishly croak out.
"Flatter me by saying it, then." He raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms and waiting for you to speak.
"I want you to fuck me."
With the words already said, there was no going back. Your chest sunk, a feeling of embarrassment creeping up and beginning to eat away at your skin. All of those feelings were put to rest the second your professor spoke: "Was that so hard to ask, love?"
Professor Hiddleston turned on his heel, two fingers signaling you to follow him like a lost puppy. He led you down a long hallway in painful silence, finally twisting the knob to a door that revealed his bedroom. It was sleek and clean, covered in shades of black and gray with no mess dared to be left out.
He shut the door behind you and immediately began unbuttoning his shirt, holding your gaze with his light eyes. "Quickly," He commented. "I don't like waiting."
Your face flushed, embarrassed at his demand. You looked away and lifted the hem of your shirt-
"You will look at me," He orders, finishing the last button. "With how bold you are in my classroom I would've thought you'd take more control," He pokes, smirking. "Who would've thought you're just a shy little girl desperate for attention from her professor?"
Your thighs squeezed together, you're sure it doesn't go unnoticed as he grins the moment it occurs. You lift your top off as he watches, simultaneously beginning to unbuckle his belt. The sound makes you shiver.
"Good girl," He praises. You shiver in response.
As he tosses his belt to the side, you begin sliding your skirt off, letting it fall to the ground and pool at your feet. Your professor mimics with his slacks, walking closer and caressing your cheek. "Bed."
You obey, laying down on his duvet as he crawls up your body, sending shivers down your spine. "Professor-"
"Tom," He corrects. "No need for formalities at this point, yes?"
You blush before continuing. "Tom, are you sure?"
"I've been sure since the first time you tried to tease me in class," He replies. "I don't think you understand that I think about you every fucking night in my bed, about the things I would do if I were just able to have you."
You smile, your confidence returning almost instantly. "You have me, sir."
Tom grunts in the back of his throat, his body towering over you as he tears your underwear off, the cracking of the seams startling you. Immediately his hands find your sex, running his hands over it and around your thighs. His hands diligently run under your back, you arch, giving him easier access to remove your bra.
"God, you're stunning," He whispers before connecting his lips to yours. He pulls on your face, his teeth making contact with your lips and bruising their pink color in moments. As he pulls away, a string of saliva connects your mouths and you squirm beneath him.
Tom sits up and begins removing his boxers. The tent in them is noticeable -- and horrifying. You can tell he's big even without seeing it.
Not like you've thought about it before, though.
Now completely undressed, he puts his hands under your waist and drags you forward with a grunt. His hands dig at the fat of your hips and travel along your plush thighs, a moan escaping your lips as his fingers dance on your skin.
"Does my little girl need her professor's cock?" Tom provokes, sliding his shaft between your folds -- up and down, up and down, up and down.
You whine, nodding eagerly in hopes to get him to just put it in already, but your meek noise wasn't good enough for him. "Use your big girl words, darling." He puts his thumb and pointer finger against your chin, urging you to look at him him; eyes burning through your skull.
"Daddy," You spit out too quick, back arching. "Please, need you inside of me so bad!" The sheer volume of your pleas and the new title takes Tom aback, yet his cock ached with every sultry word you spoke.
"Good girl," He praises, grinning at you beneath him. You watch as he inserts himself, pressing just the head into your heat. You let out a guttural moan, eyebrows furrowing in a lovely mix of pain and pleasure. He begins slowly easing himself into you further, inch by agonizing inch, until he completely bottoms out; releasing a groan as his head lolls back. "God, you feel so good princess," He praises, "Taking me so so well, yeah?"
His words struck a chord within you, forcing a smile on your face. You whimper, brain not being able to form a complete thought at how deep he was inside you and how just damn good it felt. He was much bigger than anyone you'd taken before by a longshot. Your walls clenched around him and he laughed, cock twitching inside of you. He slowly slides back, leaving just the head in, and then pushes forward quickly, earning a loud, needy, moan from your lips. "Look at you, so drunk on me, hm?" He says, pulling back and then ramming himself deep into you, bruising your cervix. "Tell me what you want, doll. What is it you need from daddy?" He teases, never averting his eyes from your gaze.
"Please," You whine, "Need you to to move, need daddy to make me come!" And without hesitation, he picks up the pace, rapidly fucking you while his hands grip the headboard. You can hear it hitting the wall, and suddenly you're glad he has a house instead of an apartment. The noises you're making are obscene, something any practiced Catholic would need to cross themselves after hearing. "Feels so good daddy!" You spit, earning a groan from him.
Tom turned almost animalistic during sex; his grunts sounding more and more like growls as he fucks you brainless. "Fuck!" He moans, taking a hand off of the wood above you. He quickly puts his free hand on your throat, squeezing and forcing your eyes to meet his once again. "Like being choked by daddy, yeah? Like daddy to make you feel powerless, hm?" He smirks, observing the visual pleasure and shock on your face.
You're so close, you can feel yourself on the verge of your orgasm, and his dirty talk was pushing you even closer. The hand on your throat squeezed, and you clenched down on him, causing Tom to curse under his breath. "Want your cum daddy," You squeak out, "Pleasepleaseplease!" You mumble in strands of pleasure.
"Feel so good," He praises. "Come for me, be a good girl and come for daddy, yeah?" He was fucking you hard, and fast, and he still managed to pick up the pace. His skin slapped against your skin, filling the room with hard smacks and grunts and moans; endless strings of 'daddy' and 'good girl' running from both of your lips.
"Want you inside me daddy," You choke out. Your head lolls to the side and bounces against the pillow, a lazy smile forming on your face. "P-please!" You whine.
That pushed Tom over the edge. He was too far lost in himself, leaning down and growling into your ear. "Ask and you shall receive," he teases.
As if on cue, you both come together, the wave of pleasure rushing over you both. You could feel his warmth filling you up, leaking down your heat and spilling onto his bed. "Fuck, Y/n!" He grunts, "Took me so so well little girl."
You couldn't think, let alone speak. Tom stayed inside of you, helping you ride out your orgasm, not wanting the feeling of your sweet sex to leave him. He took his hand off of your throat and stroked the site, soothing the redness with a sultry kiss. You hummed in response, letting your body fall limp. After a few moments, he pulled out.
About three things Tom was absolutely certain: One, he should’ve never become romantically entangled with one of his students. Two, engaging in this behavior put his entire career in jeopardy due to it being wildly illegal. Three, he was, without a doubt in his mind, unconditionally in love with everything about you.
As you laid on his chest, foreheads drenched in sweat and bodies stuck together, you felt more at home than you'd like to admit. One hand messaged your back, drawing figure-eights on your skin, and the other pet your hair, occasionally drawing his lips close to kiss the top of your head. You burrowed your head into him, clinging onto his body. He grinned.
"I should've never let it go this far," Tom said, his voice raspy and deep with post-sex clarity, "but I'm afraid I'm in too deep to give it up now." He let out a low laugh, your head bouncing with his chest.
You smiled. "I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to return to normal after this," You commented, "and, well, not to be dramatic but having sex with your professor twice your age does things to you." Tom chuckled, looking down at you and tilting your head up to meet his eyes.
"This is all so wrong," He mumbled, furrowing his eyebrows and pressing his lips together, "And yet I wouldn't have it any other way." He pressed a kiss to your lips, the kind of kiss that left a permanent stain of love and lust on your mouth. It was deep, meaningful, and romantic. Tom stared at you, taking in your features and basking in each and every one. "You are breathtaking, darling."
You hid your face in his neck, attempting to suppress the toothy grin you'd almost shown him, however he pulls your head up with his pointer finger and thumb, admiring your rosy cheeks. "Poor baby, so sensitive to my compliments," He jests, letting out a low hum.
You roll your eyes at him. "It's not my fault that daddy somehow knows all of the words that light a fire in me," You emphasize on the word 'daddy,' which forces what sounded like a groan from the back of his throat. "I don't want to go," You admit, falling back into his embrace.
"I know love," He says calmly, stroking your hair and pulling you into him tight. "We can stay like this as long as you'd like, but eventually I'll have to bring you back."
You hum into just chest. "Just a little bit longer," you say to Tom. "I'm still recovering."
When you arrived back at your dorm, much later than you anticipated, Elio looked at you with an eyebrow raised and a smirk on his face. "Back so soon?"
"Shut up," You laughed, dropping your bag to the ground and kicking off your shoes. You wobbled into the dorm, legs still sore and threatening your balance. Clearly Elio had noticed this, as the first thing he said after greeting you was "Well aren't your movements suspicious," and your cheeks flushed red. "I do not need to explain my late night endeavors and my later night actions," You began, "But,"
"But..?" Elio lead, leaning forward in his seat.
"But." You ended, pressing your lips together with a hidden grin and nodding your head.
"No!" He gasped, smiling widely and clasping his hands, putting his chin on the top of his fingers. "Please tell me everything! Not that I need to know the gory details of your sex life but, like, was he..?" Elio put his hands in front of him, fingers forward, and spread his arms apart.
"Shut up!" You giggled, swatting his hands. "But yes. Yes he was. Very."
"I knew it." He said, shaking his head. "I knew he was packing."
"Not to ruin our gossip but I need to lay down with a heating pad or something because standing is hurting my body," You laughed. "I think that man busted my cervix."
"Okay, TMI," He said, rolling his eyes. "But honestly go get some rest, lord knows you need it for seeing him tomorrow."
You were confused at first, then realized that tomorrow you had Tom for English, and you had absolutely no idea how you were supposed to face him when the night before he had you moaning 'daddy' and railed you into oblivion. But that was an issue you could deal with tomorrow. Probably. Hopefully.
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ⓒ THEFAEFICTION, 2023. DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPUBLISH, OR CROSS-POST WITHOUT EXPLICIT CONSENT.
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palajae · 5 months
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say you’re mine.
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PAIRING... skater!niki x skater!reader | GENRE… figure skating! au, romance, angst, fluff, unconditional love.? | WC... 0.6k | “i want you to stay with me and never look back.”
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it had been a few days since you last saw him.
you told your coach you weren’t feeling well and asked for some days off. she let you, albeit reluctantly and not without a scolding. 
you were sure your coach knew there was something up, but she decided to let the two of you figure it all out. 
four days felt like four weeks. it felt like it had been forever since you had seen niki or been on the ice. 
without telling anyone, you snuck into the rink late at night. just because you had dumb teenager problems didn’t mean you had to sacrifice your love for the sport. 
but what you didn’t expect was to hear someone come in as you were tying your laces. the closing of the door echoed loudly throughout the rink. 
you didn’t even have to see to know who it was. 
you don’t say anything as you stretch, nor as you hear him make his way over to you. 
“y/n,” niki calls out. 
you look up reluctantly. he stands over you, hair ruffled and one earbud in. when you don’t say anything, he reaches out a hand.
you take it as he easily pulls you up. 
“i’m sorry.. what i said was uncalled for, and uh, w-we broke up.”
“oh.” you feel numb now. silence fills the air as you just stand there. 
“that’s it?” he frowns. 
you sigh, looking away. “what do you want me to say? that i didn’t mean to ruin your relationship? that i didn’t mean to mess up our entire-“
niki grips your wrist, tight. 
“i want you to say that you want me. i want you to stay with me and never look back.” 
you turn completely so your back is to him. so he can’t see the raw sadness written across your face. 
your head hangs low. “you know that i don’t want you. you already know that i need you.” 
he wraps his arms around you, head falling into the crook of your neck. 
“y/n,” he breathes, “you never even gave me the chance to love you. every kiss, every hug, everything i did was with pure love for you. i know we said from the start we could never date since it would affect our skating partnership, but i did everything with what i feel for you. i still do.” 
he turns you around to look you in the eye and your heart cracks a little. 
“you know it—you can feel it too,” he says with a little too much desperation. 
you clutch onto his arms, searching in his dark orbs for answers. 
“niki, i’m terrified. we have so much ahead of us and i don’t want anything getting in the way of that, including us. i don’t wanna get too ahead of myself and mess it all up. for us, our coaches, our families. we can’t do that to any of them.” 
he presses his forehead to yours and you feel your eyes close. 
“you don’t trust us? you don’t think we can make it?” he whispers and you shiver. 
“i… i don’t know.” 
niki pulls back to step onto the ice, turning to face you while waiting. 
and just like every other time, you follow him, placing a hand into his. 
“what do we do now?” you stare up at him, heart pounding. 
“i’m not sure,” he admits lowly, squeezing your hand in his. all he does is lead you around on the ice, as he had done millions of times before. 
it was a familiar sensation, having been drilled into you, yet this time it felt different.
it felt too easy being in his arms. 
your partner niki had been with you through thick and thin—through all the blood, sweat, and tears. you had always been there for each other. 
now, even with the future full of unknowns, you rest easy in the fact that at least,
you’ll always have nishimura riki. 
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a/n ▸ heh i’m sorry ab the ending skdnendn- anyways, hope you liked this miniseries as a (very very late) thank you for 1.7k 🥰❤️
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xioterep-art · 3 months
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New POV! I got the idea all thanks to this playlist!
POV: you shock Scaramouche with your sudden dominance.. || 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♡
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Bossy Scaramouche x obedient Subordinate Reader (what he thought)
Trigger warning: suggestive themes, violence, curses, slight nsfw (suggestive), bullying, dom reader.
Disclaimer: the art is not mine, it belongs to たなみ on pixiv!
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You were the most obedient subordinate he could ever have, which was annoying him for some unknown reason. He finally got a brainless idiot human at his disposition, yet why was he so unsatisfied? Scaramouche couldn't understand the reason behind this. All he had to do was look at your dumb facial expression, and he would sigh deeply with his usual gloomy frown.
As usual, Scaramouche was sitting in his assigned office, working on some paperwork when you entered with some rapport in your hands, that dumb smile as always was on your face. Avoiding to look at your face, Scaramouche didn't want to get irritated more as he was already, all because of that arrogant bastard, Dottore.
"My lord, here's the rapport you asked for," you said quietly as you walked to his side. Humphing in response, he does not raise his head to look at you, and as his loyal subject, you understand very well what he wants. All he needed was to think, and you would already take action. From an outsider's perspective, it would look as if you two were communicating using telepathy.
Putting the rapport at his side, you stood silently next to him as you waited for an order, which was weird knowing that you were that talkative and annoying type of person who even in front of Lord Scaramouche would not shut up.
Scaramouche kept working without giving the order to leave. As he ignored your presence, you kept your mouth shut as you were strangely in a bad mood. Usually, when you are in his presence you seem to forget all your problems, yet, today, you feel annoyed, and it even surprised you.
Frowning slightly, you kept your posture straight, neither moving at all nor looking at what the sixth was doing. Just when you were minding your own business for the first time, you suddenly heard a sneer escaping his beautiful mouth that made you finally glance his way.
"This bastard! I am going to fucking kill him someday!" The Balladeer roared angrily. He is most likely talking about the second again, you assumed unfazed as you calmly stared at the scene of Scaramouche throwing things to the other side of the room.
You sigh softly with a smile that wasn't a smile, "quell down your anger, my lord..." You said as you walked up to the mess created by the almighty Balladeer and reached to clean it.
As you finished the cleaning, you stood up with the pile of papers in your hands when you suddenly felt a sharp pain in your forehead and soon enough you felt the hot red liquid sliding down your cheek. You froze while looking straight into Scaramouche's eyes. The pain became slightly unbearable as you squinted your eyes when the sixth lord stood up and walked up to you angrily.
"Put that shit away and fucking scram, stupid monkey!" He said as he kicked your side, venting his anger on you.
Now, you must admit that this got on your damn nerves. To be his stepstone every time someone messes with him is fucking annoying. Usually, you would take on his wrath gladly, yet this time you didn't feel like it.
What about you? Can't you feel anger or vent it? You don't even know what was wrong with you.
Snapping back to reality, you saw his hand flying towards you. He was about to push you but you grabbed it firmly, unfazed when your eyes met his deadliest glare.
"Fucking let go, now!" He articulates slowly, clearly pissed off. "No," You simply answered, which left him stunned for a moment.
Feeling the air becoming static, you sneered as you pushed him violently onto the desk. A loud noise was heard when he came in contact with the hard material, earning him a loud groan.
This completely took him off guard. His obedient dog was biting back! He couldn't believe that. Gasping slightly, he felt pain in his right side as it dumped into the edge of his desk.
That sure was painful.
Wanting to face you again, he put a hand on the desk for support, and as he was about to turn towards you, he was again being pushed against the flat surface.
Not understanding what was happening to him, he suddenly had to face you as you were looking down at him, sending shivers down his spine.
The way you looked at him left him breathless. This mean version of you was new to him. he had never seen this side of you, nor did he even give it a chance in his imagination.
The sixth Harbinger's stunned expression soon turned into anger, "what the hell you are doing?" he yelled, trying to push you aside, and of course, you were not budging at all.
You were a strong and talented Dendro swordsman recruited by the Fatui a long time ago, and you were assigned to Scaramouche on the first day since then you have taken all his anger and snarky attitude. Sometimes, he would treat you even worse than shit if you commit the slightest mistake, while some other times, he would act as if you did not exist.
If it wasn't for the admiration you held for him, you would have long ago snapped. Just like now.
You were between his legs with him pinned by you on the desk, one of your hands next to his head with your eyes squinted and a frown on your face as you kept looking at him intensely, stealing away his words.
Feeling the energy shift in the air, Scaramouche gasped as he felt something rolling around his wrists. It was your Dendro ability. Trying to fight back, Scaramouche squirmed under you yet the roots violently pinned both his wrists above his head in response.
"You are annoying, my lord," You said softly as you kept looking at him, "let go of me! you fucking dog!" He snaps back.
You chuckle as that free hand of yours caresses his white soft-looking cheek, "My lord is the prettiest, " you compliment him, "what a shame that such a beauty has a sharp and nasty temper..." You ease up the frown on your face as you lean more toward him, a dangerous glint in your eyes.
"W- What is wrong with you? back off!" He yells again, squirming around, his face flustered while looking away.
"You could've used your Electro power to stop me, Lord," you chuckled sarcastically, your breath now mixed with his, "I had enough of this, you see..." You vented as you bit his lower lip.
The frozen Scaramouche widened his eyes. The Balladeer seemed to forget how powerful he was and only used his legs to kick you off of him, his face blushing wildly.
Not letting go of his lower lip, you grabbed one of his flying legs and secured it by putting it over your shoulder.
"I think that lord Scaramouche needs some punishment, right?" You whisper in his ear in a dangerous tone, not caring anymore about the consequences to come.
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wakeup01 · 5 months
Text
A Matching Pair
Goddammit. Why does he always have to argue about it. Can’t he ever put himself in my shoes and try and be more understanding.” I mumble to myself as my boyfriend fades out of sight down the empty train car. I sigh and stare out the window of the train, listening to the world outside shudder past.
“This space free?” Comes an excited voice, I look up to see a fit young guy casually drop onto the seat opposite me. He looked no older than 22 and was outfitted for some kind of sports game, with a designer tracksuit sagging off his hips, a red jersey that pressed against his lean stomach and a glossy puffer jacket.
“Uhhh…not really.” I remark, side-eying his trendy permed hair, perfectly styled and faded. I had never really understood the appeal of…‘fuckboys’; rich but devoid of personality - aside from the prepackaged one they adopt. In this case even I had to admit that he was rather attractive, in a blunt, dumb ‘grammer is for losers’ sort of way. There was a casual air of confidence in the way he carried himself, narcissistic? Sure, but maybe a little ego didn’t hurt, especially in the bedroom.
Shame he obviously wouldn’t be a sub - he’d look nice around my cock, although I can picture my boyfriend tripping over himself to placate his every whim. The perks of this ‘open relationship’ we had seemed increasingly one sided. Ugh. I’m quickly reminded of our argument, and my indignation wins out over my misguided lust.
“Mate, you look proper mad.” He chuckles, kicking off his trainers. He stretches out his legs and rests them on the seat next to mine.
“Name’s Dominic and I’m not….mad.” My voice trails off.
“Uh oh. Who is she then blud?” He gestures at me with his hands, rattling the horde of bracelets that buried his wrists.
“He.”
“Pftt. I should ‘av guessed. It’s all the same to me. I’m Trev ‘btw’. You off to the gay convention?” There’s a wry smile that is hard to be angry at, in fact I feel strangely comfortable with him. He seemed like a good listener.
“Funny, but yes. Meeting our friend Nate there.” I cross my arms in a futile attempt to appear more dominant.
“Wait, they have those now?” My eyes squint at him. “Just fucking with you. I got a game the next town over. I’m a player.”
“Wow, you don’t say.”
“Maybe you’ve seen me play on the tele eh?” He puts on a face and flashes his shiny white teeth proudly.
“Sure…” He was in a professional team? Like I’d know.
“So spill, what’s the issue with yuh ‘boy’? His ‘bussy’ too small?” My mouth begins to move before I really get the chance to think about what I’m saying, or why I’m telling him at all.
“Ugh. He just never tries to see things from my perspective, he always expects me to play the ‘top’. About everything. And I don’t share his weird kinks.”
“TMI. Oh. You’re the top? And your name is Dom? ‘Lolz’. Is your boy called SUBastian?” He laughs mischievously. His brazen use of text speech was strangely endearing, something I thought impossible.
“Dominic. And no, his name’s Addy.” I correct, flatly.
“Uh huh. Yeah, and have you tried the same? See things from Addy’s point of view. Find equal ground right. Maybe I can help. It’s like when there’s a disagreement in our footy team.”
“I don’t think it’s quite the same thing…”
“Should give it a try Dom, see how it feels to be the sub. It can be fun to let someone else take charge. Easy too when you don’t overthink it. Go on, just lay back and relax.” Yes, I’m sure this will solve all our problems. I humour him anyway, resting my back against the seat’s cushion. Ten seconds pass in silence, just the hum of the train carriage throbbing rhythmically.
“This is stupid-“
“Shush.” Trev stares at me intently, trapping my eyes into his own. I don’t think to look away, why would I. He continues talking, I hear the words floating past me but don’t register what they are. It feels like minutes until his fingers snap in front of his face, and the spell is broken. He just smiles and waits expectantly for me to reply. His legs move from the seat next to me and I follow their movement.
“I—I guess.” I stutter, unsure of what I’m replying to, feeling slightly dizzy, like waking from a dream. For some reason my eyes seem drawn to his feet, now resting on the edge of my own seat, fidgeting between my thighs. I didn’t notice that they were sockless before… or that they were so big.
“Deeper.” He snaps his fingers again. My eyes are feeling so heavy, it’s becoming harder to keep them open. “Picture your boy sitting in your place. See it in your head.” I think about him, see his dreamy smile, like the one growing on my face. “So easy.” Trev repeats, my head nodding absently to his words. He adjusts and pushes his feet against my groin. Hmmf. I should tell him to stop. To stop…
“Uhh.” The dull sound leaves my lips instead of the words I wanted, the rubbing sensation fraying the edges of my thoughts.
Trev’s fingers fiddle at his pockets. He pulls out a vape stick and blows a huge bubblegum flavoured cloud of smoke into my face. The fumes flow through my open mouth and circle my head. His hands appear to be moving in slow motion, like everything was suddenly at half speed.
“Being in charge is exhausting huh. Much better to just relax and follow along, like your boyfriend would.” Yeah, he would probably do whatever this guy asked him to.
“I bet he’d rub my feet If I told him to.”
“Yeah.” I agree, wrapping my hands around Trev’s chunky feet - he definitely would. I run my fingers up and down his sole, picturing my boyfriend in this situation.
“Eyes up here fam.”
*snap*
I look back up at him, falling into his stare once more, entranced. My hands continue to massage him, passing over the curves and arches of his large feet. The shame of doing this in a public place completely lost on me. “Good foot boy.” I fail to hold back a moan at the validation. Is this what it feels like? It feels…nice, good.
I sense my body start to slowly lean forward of its own volition. Trev loudly exhales, his lips pursing. Another dose of bubblegum mist fogs my view. “What else would your boy do?”
“Don’t know…”
“Bet he’d love to sniff my lush feet hm?”
Probably, I think. He was way more kinky than me about such things. This guy’s feet were quite ripe after all, maybe if I got a bit closer…no—no what am I doing? I begin to pull back when his intense eyes narrow at me.
“It’s okay. I can see you want to take a whiff too. Boy.” His inflection changed on the last word. There was something about the way he said it. Powerful.
“My—my boyfriend will be-“ My voice cracks.
“Put your fucking nose here. And sniff my cheesy feet.” He orders, accentuating each word, dropping all pretence - his finger snapping and pointing down.
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It’s like a switch being pressed in my head. The words cut like a knife right through any lingering hesitation. My face lowers and inhales deeply, sucking up his harsh scent.
“Yeah.” I mumble from behind his feet in a daze.
“Yeah what?”
*snap snap*
“Yes sir.” I don’t know why I said it, it just slipped from my lips and then it was too late to take it back. Too late to stop, as my face leans down to his foot like a magnet. Too late to pretend I didn’t want a sniff, my nostrils breathing the thick musky air.
“A good start boy.” I tentatively take a couple more whiffs, a part of me still attempting to hold back, feeling self aware. He rolls his eyes and shoves his feet forcefully into my face, my nose pushed snugly between his big toe. His stench shrouds my head like a cloud. The concept of ‘disgusting’ faded to nothingness.
“Salt and vinegar flavour, your fav.” Trev asserts. It became true the moment the words left his lips. Salty and eye watering. My favourite. My cock liked it too apparently.
“You look so much better under me, worshiping me - where you belong. Keep going.” And I did. Breathing deeply, in and out. In and out. The heat from his foot radiates outwards, travelling down my body, seeping into my skin. “Wouldn’t your boy agree to be at my feet at all times If that’s what I wanted?” He—I would. I want nothing else.
“Of course sir.” I say, unaware that the words would seal my fate.
Something is changing. A shift in weight. My whole body starts to feel lighter, filling with air. My skin itches, a rash forming across it’s surface - bleaching every inch an even, clean white. The rash crawls down my chest, flattening my modest set of abs, leaving everything it touches incredibly soft, absorbent and flexible. Tiny strands of fuzzy cotton fabric poke out from each pore; the changes showed no sign of stopping.
Everything is happening all at once, alarms try and go off in my brain but it’s preoccupied swimming in a musky drunken stupor. My feet seem to leave the floor as my form inexplicably shrinks, the length of my arms folding inwards as my body simplifies.
“Look at you bruv. You were easy as fuck.” I gaze up at him, his smug face towering over me, looking so far away. A puff of vape smoke floats down towards me, particles dissolving on my cushioned skin. The sweet aroma mixes with the smell of his sour feet. “Just one look into my eyes and you were done. Get socked bro.”
Trev started to appear bigger and bigger, his feet dwarfing my new size, now taking up my whole view. It was like my essence was being pulled around his foot. My mouth opens and his toes slip effortlessly inside, stretching me out and making themselves at home. The rest of his foot follows, his ankle resting at my opening. It sets off my gag reflex momentarily, before feeling perfectly natural, like I was tailor made for his foot.
“Sorry bud, they’re a size 13.”
The taste of his potent sole explodes into me. I’m violently shaken out of my trance-like haze, the world around me speeds up. I try and desperately pull away, lucidity returning like a slap to the face. Why am I on the floor? Why is his foot in my mouth?! Oh shit oh shit!
“Get socked!” Trev yells enthusiastically. “Get fucking socked!”
Control is slipping away. My skin pulls taut around his foot, the fabric digging between his toes. It feels as though every part of me is pressed against him, his warmth surrounding me. My new shape settles into place, defined by his smooth curves.
I can’t move my ‘body’ at all, but all my senses still persist…somehow. My blurry vision clears, a sudden shift in view makes me disoriented. It’s as if I have a pov of the room from the bottom of Trev’s foot, he lowers it to the floor and my worldview erratically drops to carpet level before going dark. The material of the carpet brushes against me, the strange sensation is embarrassingly pleasing; bringing attention to the absence of my cock. Relief now seemed impossible.
“Socked. Man, I love that initial freshness. Tbh, it makes the inevitable even more fun.”
He pushes the weight of his foot into me, his sweaty soles sticking to my tight fabric body. It feels humiliating to be literally stuck on the ground. His stench clings to me, soaking me in his foot musk. The imprint of his toes yellowing my surface. It’s like having his foot down my throat, perpetually swallowing his mind numbing sweat.
“Mmm that’s good, you hang so tightly. A perfect fit. Hope you like sucking on my rank fucking toes. Cuz now you’re just my stinky ripe sock. Fucking idiot. Can’t wait to get you worn in.”
That’s not possible, I can’t be a sock…it defies logic. This is a nightmare I’m about to wake up from, any second now…any second…
He pulls at me and stretches my ribbed opening up and over his tracksuit, stuffing the silky material into me.
“So much more… pliable.” Trev wiggles his toes and my body conforms to it’s every movement, lodging in between each one. I try and desperately struggle, do something. I manage to achieve a light wriggle that only helps pull myself tighter against his skin.
Trev lifts his foot and points it towards the window, the dark night air rushing past outside. A clear reflection echoes back. I stare at it in disbelief, wanting to blink the reality from my eyes. A caricature of my shocked face is crudely printed on the underside of the sock - trapped frozen in time, with the word ‘SNIFF’ sewn into the fabric. The material was already beginning to discolour. Logic or not, That’s all I am now - a cheap white sock. His sock. An object.
“Basic as fuck boy makes basic as fuck sock. Lit.” He points out, smirking in the reflection while he checks out his new kit. Trev puts his feet back up on the seat, letting me watch the empty space where I had been sitting - back when I was more than just his property.
“Enjoy the view, while you can cheesy. You’re going to spend most of your time staring at the floor, or the inside of my fumigated sneaker.” What joy. I hadn’t even thought about that, about what comes next. Surely he didn’t plan to keep me like this? “Hmm. I think the name Dominic is a bit too fancy for you now, how about…sock. Simple, to the point.” Trev steps me back against the ground, his heel slightly raised. “Suits you, don’t you think sock?”
Light footsteps thud from down the carriage, getting closer and closer. “Hey babe. I wanted to apologise, Nate thinks—who are you? Umm where’s my boyfriend?” Addy had returned, this was my chance.
I wanted to shout and cry out to him, to get his attention anyway possible. I conjured a barely audible rustle and then nothing. All it did was reinforce how small and subservient I now felt, forced to listen to my owner in silence.
“Oh he’s not gone far, cutie. Sit.”
I hear my boyfriend stammer from above. All it took was one compliment and he turned to putty. In most cases it was endearing, but right now I needed him to be anything but agreeable.
I feel the weight on me shift. I glide through the air again, Addy’s expression coming into view across from me, from us.
“He’s…” Addy looks me over curiously.
“Yep. He got socked.”
“Gosh. That’s…hot.” His cheeks blush.
WHAAT! You’ve got to be kidding me! Damn, why did he have to be so kinky when I need him to rescue me. I can recognise his horny face a mile away.
“Now it’s your turn. Look at my eyes.” Trev’s voice taking on a more serious tone. Addy’s eyes dart up, quickly becoming ensnared by Trev’s hypnotic gaze. No, please snap out of it. “Good, keep looking. Relax. Let me give you the deets. In a few minutes you’re gonna have the privilege of having my foot up your arse, sucking up my sweat as a thin piece of fabric like your bf. You’ll be my sock puppet, controlled completely by my foot. You can already feel my toes pushing at your mind. You want it. Say it.” Trev waves me back and forth, hypnotically.
“But…mmm,”
“Say it.”
*snap*
“I — I want to be your smelly sock puppet. Pleaseee Master.” He moans in a trance.
“Course you do.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Addy’s shorts were noticeably tenting, a wet spot forming at the tip. He was getting off on the idea! “Sock puppet. Look at your boy, read the word sewn into him. You know what to do.”
Addy’s head leans towards me, eclipsing my vision. His huge nose presses up against me, his eyes dilating. I can feel his wavering breath brush at my cotton skin. He did exactly what the sock - me, said to and sniffed. The hesitant whiffs quickly devolve into enthusiastic huffing.
“Babeee. Hmmf. You smell so niceee. Mmmm.”
“That’s an obedient sock sniffing sock puppet.” Trev assured him. ”Now onto the other one.” Addy moves away from my view, I can only see him shuffling at the edge of my narrow locked vision. “Ready to join him?”
“Yes masterrrr.” Addy’s voice slurs monotonously. “Enter me and take control. We’re both yours.” Like hell we are!
“I want you to lick this foot clean like a dirty dog before it becomes your new home.” I hear him start to slobber all over Trev. “Good puppet. Get socked.”
The sound of my boyfriend licking and moaning in heat continued for what felt like an eternity. There was nothing I could do but be suspended in the air like my owner deemed appropriate.
“It’s time to become a puppet. Turn around and spread that cute bubble butt. There we go, feel my foot enter your rear, filling you up, fucking your tiny brain. Ufff. Tight. Fuck. Let’s stretch you out, nice and wide. Ahh that’s better. Your hole clamping around my ankle. Yeah. Becoming soft and flexible. A sock puppet. A sweat guzzling, empty-headed, dirty filthy sock puppet.” I can just about see Addy’s head, craning back in pleasure as he’s foot fucked.
“Butt feels…Hnng my—my body…” Addy pants desperately.
“Now belongs to my fat fucking foot. SOCK. PUPPET.
“Pu—puppet.” Addy’s bobbing head pulls out of sight, compressing around the invader inside him.
“Sock puppet. Surrendered all free will. Sock puppet. Commanded by feet. What are you?”
“I’m a sock… a sock puppet. Mmmmf…I’m a soooommfff.”
His voice goes silent. I can only assume he’s turning into a perfect match for Trev’s other foot. The thought horrifies me, but also gets me a little excited. I glimpse a pristine white shape shudder next to me. Trev sits up and places both feet flat on the ground, in order to admire his new additions to the collection.
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“Hell yeah. You two make the cutest pair. Glad I could help bring you ‘together’. And no more worries about disagreements ‘lmao’. Go on, kiss and make up.”
Trev bends his legs and points me at Addy’s new form, his lustful face captured on the socks sole; the word ‘LICK’ was immortalised above. I was for sniffing and he for licking, it made a bizarre kind of sense to my addled brain. He brings his feet together and rubs us both against each other, our ‘faces’ pressed closely. My mind blurs, the friction bringing searing white hot bliss. God it’s amazing. He was so soft! Please more. More! Babe. Don’t stop. Get socked!
Trev eventually pulls us apart, I watch the folds of Addy’s loose fabric pull taut, finalising his transformation. He made a cute sock, just like me. We were now on equal footing. Wait, what am I thinking? This is insane, I don’t want this! Was I stuck like this? Would it be really so bad? No, stop.
I realised that the smell was permeating my thoughts, twisting them. Knowing that didn’t change how good it felt, how good his touch felt, his musk.
“Don’t worry, when I go to replace you I’ll be sure to sell you on as a pair to one of my foot sluts. Let’s be honest, as socks go, you’re kinda ‘mid’ at best.” The comment did nothing to reassure me about turning back to human. “Man you gay nerds are so dumb, none of you can resist my scent. It’s like you want to be part of my fit. Even my sneaks gave more of a struggle than you two lovebirds. All I need now is some new undies to stretch over my ass and hug my fat dong and balls. Know anyone?” Trev pauses and then laughs to himself.
As each minute passed my mind became more subdued, it was relaxing, becoming content. The part that was angry, defiant, was shrinking. A bubbling happiness was slowly expanding within me. I did my best to push it back but with my senses overwhelmed, it was a seemingly losing battle. Addy was probably already loving every second of it.
“Let’s have some fun. Which one of you will make a good cum sock? Who am I kidding, you’ll both be great. But for now…”
He peels me free from his foot, holding me limply in the air. For a moment I feel incredibly empty, already missing his warmth. The disappointment is short lived; I’m quickly filled out as he pulls me over a stiff pole. His cock. His glorious thick shaft. I’m forced to swallow it whole, it’s tip poking at my edges.
With his hand around me he wanks me furiously, using me as sleeve. ‘Don’t enjoy it’, I shout internally. This sucks. This sucks! It’s hard to ignore the pleasure it brings the both of us. Oh god I’m being stretched out by him completely. It sucks. Sucks… this…mmm. Faster. Go faster! Fill me! Cum inside me, mark me as yours!
My sexy owners pumping reaches a crescendo, now with both hands thrusting me up and down. One final tug. A grunt. A twitch. Thick copious splooge unloads right into me, flooding my interior. His fuckboy seed is absorbed into me, my cotton body sucking up every drop. A dark patch spreads across me and crusts over as it dries. The bitter taste lingers, like the cum was sat on my tongue.
“Fuck me, that was sweet. But enough fun.” Trev pulls me off his dick and janks me back over his foot, his toes push against my cum stained dark spot, still damp.
Trev’s phone starts to ring with some loud trap song. “Trev. Yeah. Yeah mate. Course, you fucka. Be arriving soon. Mint, I got me some new gear too. Ace. Uh huh…K, chat tomorrow.”
What would have normally been inane babble to me made a concerning amount of sense, like his identity was somehow rubbing off on me.
He stands up, dragging something over to him with his other foot. I’m lifted high into the air, tauntingly hovering over his beat up shoe. I can’t help but look down at my future smelly prison. I don’t think my mind can take any more…
It didn’t help knowing that the sneaker was once a guy, now heavily used. It was like seeing a glimpse of my own fate. Mmmm.
“Let’s get you acquainted.”
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I see the trainer hurtle towards me as I’m lowered to the floor. My edges slide effortlessly into the pungent confines of his sneaker, the thick stale air engulfing me. I’m pressed against the stained sole and squelch against it’s moist surface; the outline of his foot clearly indented into the material. My vision goes pitch black.
The stench is blasted at me from all sides. Fuck me. I don’t stand a chance against it, my mind is drowned beneath its waves. Sinking below as new, more simple desires emerge.
There’s a muffled sound of an announcement playing overhead. “Guess this is where we get off lads. I should probably warn you, me mates and I have a footie match tomorrow. And I don’t plan on removing you, after that I expect you won’t even want to be turned back. Not that I ever planned to. I’m sure you stinkheads don’t object? Sorted.”
I didn’t object, in fact, I— I think I was looking forward to it. My printed face would probably be completely yellow by the end of it, as it should. Mmm.
The weight of his foot lifts as I feel myself rise from the floor and then just as quickly I’m pushed back down to the ground. My boyfriend being subject to the same in tandem. A second later and it happens again and then again, each step the strength of his body squishes me against the shoes insole, which sticks to my surface. And each time, my brain is submerged in a pleasant sweaty haze, scattering whatever dim thoughts I had left. The weight flattening my mind to sodden mush. Rewarding me for fulfilling my role as his smelly, mindless sock, us both huffing at our owners beautiful addictive feet. Together.
“Maybe we should stop off at that gay convention first, see how many noses we can get pressed against you two while you get sucked dry. Plus, we could find that friend of yours to get wrapped around my big sweaty butt.”
Yeahhh…I bet Nate would make a perfect pair of fucking briefs.
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trashywormeateroffics · 3 months
Text
hits different (natasha romanoff x female reader)
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the gif is not mine!
summary: in all the time you'd known natasha romanoff, there is one thing you knew for sure. there was no one like her. and if she were to leave, you'd never move on. a song fic. hits different by taylor swift. (angst and then fluff!!!)
a/n: send me asks if you so wish to. im accepting taylor swift songs paired with natasha, bucky or loki. <3
masterlist
////
in all the time you had known natasha romanoff, the one and only thing you were sure of was that there was no one like her. and it wasn’t because of how beautiful she was, and she was goddamn breathtaking, it wasn’t because she was skilled in a way no person was, or because she seemed to always know everyone’s secrets; no, that wasn’t it, the public natasha, the one everyone knew, respected and feared. it could’ve been that version of her, because that natasha was amazing, but private nat, as you called her, was, simply, out of this world. 
it all started as every problem does, with someone’s devilish smile. and lord, does she have the most tempting smile ever. it was simple after that, you became close, best friends, until the friendly hugs became more… intimate. until the friendly cheek kisses became full on make out sessions. it was easy with natasha, everything flowed perfectly. she knew you, and despite the last thing she said to you, you knew her. 
i washed my hands of us at the club
you made a mess of me
i pictured you with other girls in love
then threw up on the street 
it was a monday when natasha romanoff decided that she no longer wanted you. she had been acting strange and distant and it all seemed to click for her when that morning you decided to bake her some cupcakes. it might have seem silly to someone else, but that was your way of telling her that you loved her, given that your first kiss had been while baking some cupcakes for steve’s birthday last year. this time though, it was her birthday. 
she had been training with bucky in the compound's gym and she entered the kitchen sweaty with a reddened face. 
“nat!” you called her as you pulled the sweet goods out of the oven and glanced at her over your shoulder. 
“hey…” she looked around, almost as if looking for an escape. but you were too naive, too stupid to realize it, so you kept going. 
“happy birthday!” you turned around with the tray in your hands. her eyes fell on the cupcakes and for the first time since you knew her, you wished she wouldn't even direct her gaze at you. the look on her face made your stomach twist. the realization that crossed her features at your gesture, the furrow of her brows as she took it in, and, finally, the disgust at the thought of loving you too. in the two seconds all of this passed, you kept smiling like an idiot, hoping, hoping, hoping. 
“y/n,” she simply said and your smile fell immediately. 
“yeah…?” 
“what is this?” 
“cupcakes?” you said, more a question than a statement. almost as if you weren't sure. she took in a sharp breath through her nose, still looking at you. “i wanted to do something nice for you, and i know you don't particularly care about birthdays but i thought-” 
“no.” she cut your rambling off, shaking her head. “this is- this is not just cupcakes. and you know that.” you frowned. 
“then what is it?” 
“its-” 
“what?” you asked again, defensively. she was hurting you. she ignored you and distanced herself from you, and then she ruined your nice gesture with more distance. “what is it natasha?” 
she looked taken aback by your use of her full name, being used to you calling her a soft nickname. then she composed herself, looking at you coldly. 
“you can't do this.” she told you. 
“do what?” 
“don't play dumb.” she clenched her jaw. “you can't pretend that everything is fine. you know how i've been acting, you know i've been trying-”
 “you wanna break up with me?” you asked her, unwavering, putting up a strong front. she swallowed. 
“yes.” she admitted. 
“why?” natasha sighed, frustration lacing her sigh, almost as if she couldn't tell she was breaking your heart in a million pieces right then and there. 
“i can't- i never meant for it to get this far.” 
“you didn't mean to what? to lead me on?” you asked her but her gaze was on the ground. “look at me and answer the question!” you raised your voice. 
“yes!” she widened her eyes at her admission, surprised by her tone. natasha ran her hand over her reddened face. “yes.” she said softly. “yes… i didnt mean for it to get this far. i didn't mean for you to…” 
you nodded rapidly, repeatedly, almost mockingly. then you let out an incredulous laugh. 
“you didn't mean for me…?” you trailed off, waiting for her to finish her statement. 
“for you to make me cupcakes! for you to… to…” she didn't finish her sentence. for you to fall in love with me. 
“you didn't mean for that to happen? then why did you let it?” she didn't answer. “why?!” 
“you are hard to push away.” she might as well have grabbed a knife and stabbed you with it, to proceed then to twist it, repeatedly. the air was knocked out of you. what could you say to that? all those months you thought you were living a real life love story, a story worth telling the world, she was trying to get out of it but couldn't find a way to do so. that broke your heart. and it made you feel so stupid, it was blinding how embarrassing it was. defeated, you frowned and took a good, long look at her, pretending that was the last time you were going to see her. and truthfully, it was. that was the last time you were going to see nat, your love. so that's why you did the next thing. 
they say that if it's right, you know
“fine.” you dropped the tray and walked away quickly as the sound of the metal hitting the marbled floor resounded all the way to the end of the hallway. 
each bar plays our song
nothing has ever felt so wrong
she's everywhere. she haunts your dreams, and when you're awake, she haunts every place in the compound. she's not there physically– she has been avoiding you ever since she broke your heart– but her perfume, her laugh, her presence, they're all there. you're sick of it, sick of her memory, sick of your shattered heart. which is why you call her. 
oh my, love is a lie
shit my friends say to get me by
it hits different
it hits different this time
“i can't believe it, i'm gonna kill her.” wanda tells you when you finish your story. she is sitting next to you on a booth in a beautiful bar, far away from the compound. if only you would be able to appreciate the beauty. 
“you don't have to, wands. it's fine.” 
“oh yeah, it's so fine that you asked me to go to a bar! miss introvert!” she scoffs. “what an asshole. i'm going to knock some sense into her.” you fidget with the straw of your drink. 
“there is no sense to be knocked into her. it's simple. she doesn't love me back.” even though you say it nonchalantly, it suddenly feels like someone very heavy is sitting on your chest. your eyes begin to gather some tears, but you blink them away. wanda notices. of course she does. 
“hey. lets go dance. fuck her.” you nod and she grabs your hand and pulls you to the dance floor. before you leave the table, you grab your drink, feeling like you're gonna need it. 
...
“wanda! look!” you do a weird dance move and the redhead laughs, doing one herself. it's been a while since she dragged you to the dance floor, and you've had more than a couple of drinks, so you're, to put it elegantly, hammered. 
“i'm going to get another beer!” she yells over the music, and you nod, not paying much attention. you're having too much fun, dancing weirdly and forgetting your pain. 
not a lot of time passes when you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder. you turn around, expecting to find wanda, but instead, there is a woman. a beautiful woman. 
“hey there.” she's looking at you amused, and for a second you think she's going to laugh at your dancing. “i've been watching you and your friend for a while. you seem to be having a lot of fun. mind if i join you?” 
oh. oh. well, hell yeah. 
she laughs and you realize you just said the last part out loud. you scrunch up your nose. 
“sorry, had too much to drink. i'm not going to have a filter now.” she tilts her head back as she laughs, and you notice she has dimples. “pretty smile.” you tell her as you point at her. “sorry.” 
“don't worry.” she puts her hand on your arm. “thank you. so, are we going to dance?” 
“yeah!” you nod enthusiastically and begin moving again, swaying your body from one side to the other. 
you're taken aback when she puts her hands on your hips and draws herself closer. maybe this is exactly what you need. so you hook your arms around her neck and begin dancing more suggestively. she smirks and pulls you even closer, your breaths mingling. she smells like vanilla and you close your eyes, preparing yourself. then, she kisses you. 
her mouth is on yours, and she smells like vanilla and tastes like cherries and she's beautiful and seems kind… 
but she's not nat.
you stop moving your mouth and she pulls away frowning. god, you miss her. 
you don't realize until a few moments later that she's saying something. 
“are you okay?” 
“what?” and that's when you feel them. hot tears are streaming down your face. she looks worried, but also uncomfortable. poor woman, she wasn't expecting to be a therapist today. “sorry. i'm so so sorry.” 
“hey, its okay. what happened?” 
“i broke up with my girlfriend last week.” you chuckle bitterly through your tears. “she broke up with me.” understanding crosses her features. “i'm sorry.” you repeat again, sniffling.
“i'm going to go get your friend, okay?” 
you nod and suddenly, the world is spinning. you didn't realize how drunk you were. she puts her hands on your waist to stabilize you and you let out a sob. this is such a mess. you're so embarrassed. and you miss nat. you just want to go home and crawl into her bed and let her kiss away all your tears and hug away your pain. but you can't. because she doesn't love you.
“i'll be right back.” and then she's gone. you look at her as she walks away, still crying. 
it isn't long before wanda is by your side, with the woman still there. you're surprised she hasn't run away yet. 
“babe! are you okay?” you shake your head, and she wipes your tears with her thumbs. “thank you, i'll take it from here.” she tells the woman, whose name you don't know. 
“what's your name?” you ask her, sniffling. 
“violet.” she smiles, pity dripping from her expression. 
“thank you, violet. and i'm sorry. you're so beautiful, i'm just-” 
“i know. it's alright.” she tells you. “and for the record, she's an idiot. you're the most breathtaking woman i've ever seen.” you purse your lips and look down, embarrassed. 
“thank you,” you mumble. 
“see you around.” and then, she's gone. 
“let's go get a cab.” wanda tells you, putting her arm around your waist so you don't fall. she doesn't seem drunk, unlike you. but, to be fair, you didn't really pay a lot of attention to how much she drank.
“yeah.” you nod. 
and i never don't cry (no, i never don't cry) at the bar
yeah, my sadness is contagious (my sadness is contagious)
i slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car
i stopped receiving invitations
you walk out of the bar and get into a cab. you're still crying, silently. and you're tired. and you're starting to get angry. so you grab your phone. the line stops ringing, and you know she can hear you breathe. 
“idiot.” you tell her. she doesn't answer. she doesn't hang up either. 
“y/n, put down the phone.” wanda tells you once she realizes what you're doing. but you get away from her. 
“you're an idiot, you know that natasha? that's what violet thinks. i'm breathtaking apparently.” you sniffle. “but you couldn't see that. i deserve more than that, more than you.” 
“y/n,” she says sternly. “where are you?”
“what do you care?” 
“i'll come pick you up, just give me the address-”
“i'm in a cab with wanda. and no, you can't pick me up.” you hiccup. your friend looks at you. “god, natasha. youre so… so…” wanda shakes her head. you look down at your hands.
“so what?” she asks you in a low voice, almost as if expecting the worst thing to come out of your mouth. 
“i'm sorry.” you blurt out. “i'm sorry i'm so hard to push away.” 
“y/n-”
“and im sorry i fell in love with you.” she falls silent. you sob silently. “goodbye.” and you hang up. 
“i don't know what im gonna do without her.” you tell wanda. 
“you'll be okay, y/n. you'll find someone wonderful who can give you what you deserve.” 
“yeah…” you wipe your tears with your hand and look out the window. you don't tell wanda that you don't want to find anyone else, that if it's not natasha, then it's you, alone. 
movin' on was always easy for me to do
it hits different
it hits different 'cause it's you
the next morning, you wake up with a splitting headache and you moan and grunt and thrash around your bed. after complaining for a bit, your mind is filled with images of last night. wanda and you talking, dancing. violet. violet dancing with you, then… kissing you. crying. calling natasha. wait. calling natasha? oh no. 
“fuck. me.” 
slowly, painstakingly slowly, you get out of bed, put on your socks, and head to the compound's kitchen. 
when you reach it, you don't expect to find wanda and natasha sitting there, but you do. 
as soon as you enter, wanda looks at natasha pointedly, then at you, and then leaves without a word. 
you nod at natasha as a greeting and go to open the fridge, but she's quick and blocks the door. you blink at her. you weren't expecting to find her there, and you were not, in a million years, expecting her to give you the time of day. 
“we need to talk.” you sigh. there's a few inches between you two but you can still smell her perfume. and it's killing you.
“if it's about the call, i'm sorry, okay? forget about it. just- pretend it didn't happen.” she looks at you. 
“i can't.” you take a deep breath. 
“i don't know what else to say. i'm sorry.” 
“could you stop saying sorry for a second?” she snaps. you frown. “i'm sorry, y/n. i am.” 
“for what, nat?” you sigh. “it's not your fault you don't love me.” 
“that's the thing.” she runs her hands over her face.
“what is?” 
“i do love you, y/n.” the world stops for a few seconds, but then you clench your jaw and shake your head. 
“is this because of violet?” she looks away. “you're jealous i'm trying to move on and so you manipulate me?”
“no, it's not like that.” you scoff. 
“please.”
“okay.” she nods. “i'm not going to pretend i care for you kissing another woman. i dont. i wanted to go over there and punch her.” against your will, butterflies swarm your stomach at her admission. “but- but that's not it.” 
“then what is it?”
“i realized- i've known i love you for a long time, y/n. but i'm- i'm no good for you.” you frown. 
“what?”
“you deserve more than someone who freaks out because you told them you love them. you deserve-”
“let me stop you right there.” you cut her off. she blinks, looking at you scared. but you give her a soft, small smile. “you love me?” 
“yes. so much.” 
“but you freaked out because you think you don't deserve me.”
“yes.” 
“and you lied to me. you told me you didn't feel the same.” she looks guilty. 
“yes, but-”
“no, no. let me finish.” you take a deep breath. “violet was right.” she clenches her jaw at the mention of her name. “you are an idiot.” she frowns. 
“um-”
“you're an idiot, natasha romanoff. but i can't live without you. and i don't ever want to.” her eyes soften, and fill with hope. 
“you're saying that you- that you forgive me?” 
“you really hurt me nat. but i should've known you'd do something like that. you're not the best at this feelings stuff.” she smiles sheepishly. 
“i'm not. but i want to be, for you.” 
“i know. and i trust you'll be. after all, you did just admit that you love me.” 
“yeah,” she chuckles, “it just took me breaking your heart.” you tilt your head. even though she's joking, you know there's guilt there. 
“hey,” you caress her cheek. “its okay.” she's looking at the floor now. “baby. it's okay, i promise.” 
“i'm really sorry. i promise you, i'll never do something like that ever again.” 
“i know,” you whisper, “now, are you going to kiss me or what?” she laughs and it twists your stomach into knots. god, you missed her. 
she grabs your face between her hands and puts her mouth on yours. the kiss begins soft, but after a bit it becomes desperate. 
“i missed you so much.” she says when she pulls away for air. then, she's back attacking your mouth.
“i love you.” you tell her, and you kiss her again, and again. 
“i love you too.” 
yeah, there was no one like her. 
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