#Someone write like a fic and also wouldn't it have been literally PERFECT in an episode

[kissohee]

I keep thinking about you.

i keep thinking about you. loser!ex!friend!taesan x popular!fem!reader ☆ nsfw ; wc : 8.7k+ ☆ one-shot mdni! synopsis; taesan never would've believed that there would be a time where popularity would get in the way of you and him. but it wasn't just popularity, it was also your boyfriend. so when you needed an escape from your boyfriend, you found yourself with taesan. the problem is taesan is attached, and you have attachment issues. warnings; referring to taesan as dongmin, cheating, toxic relationship, mainly written in his pov, its literally just sex again and again, angst, oral sex (both m and f receiving), cum eating, both protected and unprotected sex, use of pet names (baby, pretty boy, angel, good boy), i know im a small dick taesan enthusiast BUT he has a big dick in this, taesans very vocal, cockwarming, taking virginity, dry humping, making out, male masturbation, jaehyun and leehan cameo, itty bit of crying. a/n; almost fully based on taesans self composed song "i keep thinking about you." a lot of inspo for this fic came from that, so thank you taesan! if u read the lyrics of the song, a lot of things in this fic might make a lot more sense 😭 listen to his song here ♡

For as long as Dongmin has known you, he believed you were an angel in disguise. And there was a moment where you two couldn't be separated. Every little thing about you was perfect, and he was so lucky to be by your side.

Until you drifted away from him. It was fully your decision,, Dongmin would never give up being close to you for anything. But there really wasn't anything he was able to do about it.

You had started dating this guy, and he became the number 1 man in your heart, Dongmin knew he couldn't be mad at you over it, you had found someone that you took interest in, and for the years Dongmin has known you, this has been a first. But him no longer being in your heart wasn't the problem. The problem was that you had gained popularity and started to pretend you didn't know him. He knew he wasn't popular like you, and he had little to no friends, but he never would've thought there would end up being a time where you would just give up on your friendship without hesitation. You met your boyfriend. And suddenly you were gone. Your entire friend group shifted, you only became friends with people who were just as popular as you, and you had started to also tolerate when your new friends made jokes about him or other people. He had no clue what happened to that angel he once knew. Dongmin especially felt his whole world collapse when you had found out that he liked you. He had watched your contact disappear from his phone, as well as you blocking him on all the social media accounts that you had owned. He believed life was out to get him, So instead of getting over you like every other human would do, he watches as you and your new friends have a very loud conversation in the library. He's sitting at a table alone, writing down whatever comes to his mind every time he steals a look at you. "What a slut." He overhears one of your friends say, "I mean she's practically slept with everyone." He assumes they're talking about some girl who probably doesn't deserve it, because it's all he seems to notice you guys do. "Well not everyone..." One of your other friends raises her eyebrows and tilts her head towards him, everyone catching him staring. He  immediately looks down embarrassed, fixing his headphones to pretend like something was playing. Your friend responds to her, "No one would sleep with Dongmin." She jokes, "He's really quiet, I bet he's a secret perv." He sees you laugh from the corner of his eye,,, you would never laugh at people talking about him like that. Well at least the old you wouldn't, the new you absolutely would. "Alright guys," You grab your bag from the library seat, eyes glued to your phone, "My boyfriend says I have to meet him at the lunch hall in less than 10 minutes or else he won't buy me food." You make quick eye contact with Dongmin and rush out of the library. Your friend looks at him one last time before rolling her eyes, "Can't believe she was actually friends with that guy." They both laugh about another comment made, and follow you out of the library. The library returns to being peaceful. Dongmin was very good at pretending like he couldn't hear people talk about him, which happened more than he liked. Your 'friends' also constantly make fun of you for ever being friends with him. He wasn't strange in the slightest, just kind of a loner. But you always used to tell how cool he was, and how you'll never be friends with someone the way you're friends with him. He hated the term friends. And if there was one thing Dongmin couldn't do, it was that he couldn't stop thinking about you. You have a boyfriend, and you treat him like shit, but you still occupy so much space in his head. How could he forget you so easily? How could you forget him so easily? He starts playing music in his headphones, looking down at the open page of his book, only a few words written down.

He finds himself writing yet another song about you.

Making songs was Dongmins therapy. Which is why he's hunched over his computer, trying to get rid of any thoughts of you from today. And it seemed helpless considering every lyric he wrote down today traced back to you. Somehow he was able to hear the doorbell ring, despite his headphones being on full volume. He places them on his keyboard, leaving his room to open the door. And the last person he expected to be there, was standing right in front of him. "What are you doing here?" You smile at him, glad to finally see his face up close for the first time in a while. "What? I can't see you anymore?" "Aren't you like banned from ever being in the same room as me?" He says sarcastically, not moving his body an inch. You look up at him before looking at your shoes, "No.. Well yes. But I'm willing to make risks." He takes a deep sigh, knowing he'd most likely regret his actions but he moves his body out the way and holds the door open for you, welcoming you inside. Once you enter, he locks the door and heads to his bedroom. You follow him after taking your shoes off, "Are your parents home?" "They're never home, you know that." He responded without looking at you, which you take as a sign to be quiet. You close his door behind you and look at his computer before he slams it shut. "Were you making a song?" "No." He shakes his head, closing his lyric book before putting it away. You tilt your head, "Cmon you can tell me, I know you have a passion for music. I support you.!" He looks at you with a straight face, "I was just messing around with the app." "I don't remember you being so secretive." "That makes two of us." The silence was getting unbearable, Dongmin watches as you fidget with your fingers, knowing this was just as awkward to you as it was to him. "Why are you here...?" "He cheated on me." You blurt out. You weren't sure who else to go to about this, "He doesn't know that I know. But I found out." Dongmin's face softened as he approached you, wrapping his arms around your body. "So why don't you break up with him?" He asks, "Why'd you come here instead?" "I don't really know.." You look up at him and let out the cutest giggle he's ever heard, "I'm not upset, I mean I'm not even surprised. Guess I just needed to tell someone." You both stand there, his hand now caressing your back, "You still care about me right, Dongmin?" Now it's his turn to laugh lightly, "I don't want to. But of course I do." "I'm such a terrible person." You frown thinking about the way you've disregarded him. He wasn't sure if you were trying to gain pity from him, you didn't need his pity, you had him no matter what. "No you're not." He lifts your face up so you can see him. "Your boyfriend is. He's a very unpleasant person. I don't know why you're drawn to him." He smiles at you, "And don't pretend he's not, we all know he is." You stare into his eyes and hold back a smile, "He is, isn't he?" Dongmin just nods back, taking glances at every feature of your face. How are you so beautiful? You place your hands on both sides of his face, "Can I kiss you?" He wants to, more than anything, but he hesitates, "What about your boyfriend?" You lean closer to his face, staring at his lips, "Let go of him right now, it's just us." You place your lips onto his, immediately noticing how soft they are. This is everything Dongmin has ever dreamed of. Maybe not in this particular situation, but the kiss was just as perfect as he imagined it. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer into him. He pulls away and your eyes softly open before you're staring into his eyes, "I want more."

Anything you want. He places his lips on yours again, this time a little more desperation shines through, you're backing him up to his bed, sitting him down so you can sit on his lap, all without breaking the kiss once. His hands are exploring every part of your body, still unsure if this is actually happening or not. What if it's just another one of his wet dreams? When you bite down on his lip, he's more than positive that this is actually his reality. The bite making him let out a moan. "You sound so pretty," You chew on his lip, "My pretty boy." The pet name sent shock waves all throughout his body, forcing him to freeze. He dreamt of the day you would say something like that to him. He had dreamt of a lot of things. "Don't say things like that." He whimpers, "I can't handle it." You run your fingers through his hair, feeling his bulge grow underneath you. "I can tell." You tease him, moving your hips against him to see his reaction. "Oh fuck.." He holds your hips, covering his face on your shoulder. It's embarrassing for him when he gets needy like this, especially in front of you. "How far are we going?" "As far as you want." You smile at him, looking down at his boner. Just the thought of fucking you already had him up, "Do you have condoms?" He presses his lips together, holding onto the hem of your shirt. "No." "Buy condoms next time." You brush the hair out of his face. "Next ti-?" He's cut off with you grinding against him, shutting his eyes closed. His nightmare would be cumming in his pants before even getting to third base with you. "Dongmin, have you ever had sex before?" You ask, not stopping your hip movements. He shakes his head and you start feeling bad. You'd feel horrible if you took his virginity when he was hoping to lose it to someone he had a relationship with. "Hey, than maybe we shouldn't do th-" "No." He puts his hand over your mouth, "I want to." You take a deep breath and nod. Your lips are back on his as you proceed your grinding on him. Dongmin is starting to get impatient, the grinding not enough for his painful boner. He starts unintentionally thrusting up against your clothed cunt, and a whimper escapes from his mouth with each thrust.

Your boyfriend is nowhere near as cute as he is. You can tell he's starting to get more desperate with his humping, trying to actually gain satisfaction out of it, and that's when you suggest you both remove the clothes in the way. Finally seeing his cock outside of his pants made reality really sink in. He's bigger than most cocks you've seen, and it surprises you. But you're determined to get genuine pleasure so you line him up with you. Dongmin's very lucky that his first time is raw. The second he enters, you immediately feel like his dick was made for you. It was the perfect size, bigger than average but not an uncomfortable size. "Oh god you're so big Min," Your grip on his shoulders tightens and he moans from the compliment alone. You adjust yourself to a comfortable position and look in his eyes, "I'll do the moving since this is your first time, okay?" He nods, resting his hands on your waist, he's so excited that you feel him twitch inside of you. You lift yourself up and down, taking notice on his facial expressions and noises, unable to stop yourself from smiling, "You're so cute." His cheeks become a shade of red, his cock twitching again. "You respond to compliments huh.?" "Not on purpose.." He says, trying to rid himself of embarrassment from being unable to control his cock. "I know," You pat his head, slowly feeling your energy go down as you get closer to your climax. "But it's okay because you're being such a good boy." And just like suspected, his cock twitches again. "So cute." You whisper under your breath. "Are you getting close? Cause I am." He doesn't respond, but instead starts lifting his hips up into you at a faster rate, taking control over you both. His hips twitch, and you feel it. His cum inside of you. And the thought of it brings you to your own orgasm. You moan his name out, and grip onto his hair. Hearing you say his name in such an explicit way makes him cum a second time. For the first time in months, you actually had a really good orgasm. "You're so much better than him." You touch his cheek softly. Dongmin almost cringes at you bringing up your boyfriend after just having sex with him.

"Break up with him, please." He whispers.

Dongmin won't lie and say he wasn't heartbroken when he saw you with your boyfriend again the next week. His arm wrapped around your waist, as you talk to your friends. He couldn't understand how you could happily continue going out with him even after sleeping with Dongmin. You cheated on him. Granted he did cheat on you first but still. Despite all that, you stayed. Why? He's only watching you from a distance. He wants to approach you, or at least just wave, but he can't move. So instead he's creepily watching you and he only then realizes it's a problem when your friend nudges your shoulder and points at him. Now he's more than aware this could turn into a problem. So he waves, because he thinks it might be able to justify why he's looking. Instead of waving you back, you take a deep breath, raise your eyebrows at your boyfriend and look back at him. Dongmin starts biting the inside of his cheek, opting on putting his headphones on and just walking away. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, and yet it's still just as awkward as the first time. And he's about to leave before he sees you speed walk his way. "Can I help you?" You look at the ground behind him, playing with the strings of your bag. He shrugs, now feeling awkward, "Just saying hi." "Yeah well don't" You respond quickly. He's back to biting the inside of his cheek, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his sweater. "I'm confused on why we can't be friends.." "Friends don't sleep together." You say, face deadpanned as you make eye contact with your boyfriend, far away enough where he can't hear you. He sighs, you've put him in such an odd position. You're not his friend but you're also not his lover? "So that's it? You sleep with me once and I'm not allowed to talk to you?" He looks back at your friends who are staring at him harshly, almost burning a hole in his skin. Your boyfriend however is on his phone, trying not to get too upset over the fact that you willingly wanted to talk to Dongmin. He hears you sigh loudly and you stand in front of him so he's forced to look at you, "It's much more complicated than that, okay?" You copy him and glance at your friends too, "If it was up to me, things would be different." And that's all you say before walking away from him.

-

Dongmin's just had the most boring class of his entire life. Mainly because he was yawning the whole time, trying his hardest not to fall asleep in case the professor decided to say something worth hearing. There's no one to blame Dongmin's tiredness on except himself, he hasn't been able to sleep well these past few days because of you. Every time he closed his eyes to fall asleep, the exact same moments with you would replay in his head. Thus, lack of sleep. So he's pretty happy when the class is finally over, he can go home and maybe, hopefully, take a nap. So he grabs his stuff in a hurry and walks out the classroom, all to see you standing there with your arms crossed on the other side of the hall. Maybe he's hallucinating, or maybe you're waiting for someone else, so he just walks away, not willing to embarrass himself anymore. "Dongmin? Hello??" He hears you call out to him, until eventually your arm is on his shoulder. So maybe you were waiting for him. "I needed to talk to you." He's not upset in the slightest, in fact he's actually really happy that you actually want to talk to him. "How'd you know I was in that class?" "Oh uhm." You say, taken aback by the question, "I asked around to see if anyone had any classes with you and eventually someone did and so yeah uh.." You had gone through all that trouble, for him? "Look," You start, "I really needed to tell you that I did enjoy that night with you. And you know, if you're down, maybe we could do it again?" Again? He swears his heart is going to explode. "When were you thinking?" "Tonight,,, maybe.?" Your voice had a little shake in it, exposing you for being a little nervous about asking him if you guys could sleep together again. Dongmin smiles softly with a nod, "Sure." He does his absolute best to play it cool in front of you but the thought of you and the past few restful nights finally coming to end makes his heart pound. And so the moment he gets home he's kicking his feet over the thought of you coming over again. Deciding on ways for the time to pass by quicker, he decides to clean his entire room. Like yes, you've seen his room at some of his messiest times, but that doesn't change the fact that he wants to be impressionable on you. But even cleaning his room didn't take up that much time, and he finds himself looking at the clock every minute. He probably should've asked you for a more specific time. He's just really excited to have you with him again. He's willing to get hurt if it means being able to be close to you somehow. He wants you any way that he can. Why was it taking an hour for each minute to pass? It must've taken another hour of staring at the ceiling before the ring to his door was pushed. And it took a lot of self control for him to not run to the door to see who it was, despite knowing it's most likely you.

And you it was. "Hey." he says, trying his hardest not to smile super hard, opposite from you, who is smiling. "Hey you." You poke his shoulder, walking into his house. "I couldn't stop thinking about you." He couldn't be happier. Dongmin closes the front door, motioning for you to kick off your shoes so you can go to his room. "How about we continue that hm?" He says before leaning slightly down to kiss you. Just like expected, you return the kiss, making sure you can taste every bit of him. "Your room, now." You say against his kiss and he nods slightly, grabbing your hand and walking urgently to his room. You automatically sit down on his bed and wait for him to close the door so he can sit down next to you, which doesn't take him very long because he's just as needy as you are. His hands find their way into your hair, and you're as close as you can possibly be to him. He breaks the kiss to be able to place them down your neck, "Careful about leaving hickies." You warn him, earning a groan from him against your neck. It doesn't stop him from pulling your shirt off so he can plant kisses across your chest, some getting close to your tits. You're holding onto one of his arms so hard he feels like your fingerprints will be engraved on it. "Did you get condoms?" "Not yet," He looks down at you, "I'm nervous to buy them." That part's entirely true, he's way too nervous to have someone actually watch him buy a pack of condoms. Like yes, it's normal but that doesn't change the fact that he's also way too scared.

"Okay so new plan." You sit up fully, confusing Dongmin, "I'll suck you off." His ears immediately go red, and his heart starts racing. His lack of words make you nervous, "Only if you want. I don't have to." He shakes his head semi-violently, feeling his cock react to your words. "I-I want you to." His response makes you smile, unzipping his jeans so he can get out of them. You're eventually face to face with his boner, which makes you happy, especially when it moves from just you looking at it. You barely even touched him at all and he's already super hard. He moves his hips closer to you, hinting at how badly he wants to be touched, "Relax Dongmin, I'll get to it." You pat his thighs softly, making him thrust up into nothing. "Oh? Are you sensitive there?" He doesn't respond, slightly embarrassed by it, but you think it's cute. You place a hand over his covered bulge, rubbing his cock through the fabric, as your hand travels up and down his thigh. "I need you to be a good boy okay, Min? That means no moving, let me handle everything." He nods, resting against the pillows on his bed.

The moment your hands touch his bare cock, Dongmin swears he won't listen. He wants to do what you ask, but it's hard when you're inches away from his cock. Your hands travel up and down it, pumping him in preparation for your mouth. He's biting his tongue so he doesn't make noise too soon. But when you lick his tip, he groans. Probably the deepest you've ever heard him yet, so it's obvious that you're driving him insane. And you enjoy that, which is why you lick around his tip, just slowly. His fists ball up, and they clench even harder when you take him entirely inside your mouth. "Oh my god," He moans,, what did he do to deserve this from you.? You don't respond but instead bob your head at a pretty reasonable starting pace. He's struggling to keep his hands in one place, moving them anywhere he can but nowhere seemed comfortable for him. That is until he places his hands in your hair, trying his absolute hardest not to move your head any faster. Dongmin can't believe how close he is already, but considering the circumstances he's currently in, he's surprised he's lasted this long. He's starting to feel more sensitive, which doesn't get better when he feels your tongue travel down the slit of his tip You know you're driving him crazy, and you're enjoying every second of it. His hips start twitching from how hard he's trying to not let them move like you had asked, but ultimately finding himself unable to when he thrusts up into your mouth. Nothing comes out of your mouth about it, knowing he can't control it which is why you let him push your head down with his hands. His head falls back and his eyes are shut. You stare at him in awe as whimpers pour out his mouth, some mentioning how he's close and can't hold it even if he tried. He looks back at you, and the sight of you looking up at him with his cock in your mouth sends him over the edge. His hips twitch as loads of cum gets shot into your mouth, and he watches as you swallow it all, making him moan.

You knead his thighs softly as he calms down from his orgasm, and when he finally regains consciousness, he lays you down in his place. Neither of you exchange words and yet you understand him entirely. It's your turn now. "No panties?" He comments when your pants are fully off. "None for you." You smirk a tiny bit, sinking into the mattress of his bed as he spreads your legs open. Dongmin starts feeling nervous when he looks at you, he's never given a girl head before. What if he messes up, or what if he isn't good? But he also wouldn't know unless he tries, so with a deep breath he finally places his tongue on your pussy. You wiggle into his mouth, liking the feeling of his hot spit on you. "Dongmin, please.." Your small beg for him, gave him all the motivation that he needed. He licks your clit until he's more comfortable exploring the rest of your pussy. Attempting to cover any places that might bring pleasure to you. He feels your fingers in his hair, similarly like how he was with you, except you don't move his head, you're just keeping them there for support. And so he goes back to sucking your clit, doing his absolute best to make sure he's able to give head right. Dongmin loves the way you're a moaning mess because of him, praising him while also babbling about how good it feels, and he's taking pride in that. Everything sent blood right back to his already aching cock. You feel the bed rock slightly, realizing it's because Dongmin is moving his hips against the surface to the pace his tongue is moving. And just on cue he moans into you, sending pleasure up, making you moan loudly as well. You've officially lost it when Dongmin uses his thumb to draw circles on your clit while using his tongue inside of you. You've never felt so good in your entire life, not with anyone else at least. He's doing his absolute best to focus on you only, so he doesn't even notice that he's unconsciously humping the bed until he feels another orgasm creep up. But he wants to get you there before him, so he speeds up his pace against you, watching as your back arches in a way he hasn't seen before. Your grip against his hair tightens, which makes him moan again, and you swear you're seeing stars. And before you know it, you're cumming against his mouth, rubbing against his tongue as much as you can to let the feeling last. Dongmin cums practically right after you, holding onto your thighs as hard as he can until he's cumming for the second time in an hour. He licks up all of your cum around his lips, smiling at you after. "Oh my pretty boy, that was so good," You smile back at him, voice low from tiredness. His heart pounds extra loud upon hearing your praise for him. He lays down next to you, exhaustion catching up with him, and with the way your eyes flutter, he can tell exhaustion caught up with you too. He takes an extra long look at you beside him, your eyes finally rest shut, and he moves a piece of hair out of your face and behind your ear. He's so lucky.

He's kissing you again. He swears he's addicted. Whenever you aren't with him, his lips feel bare. You're like a drug to him. He just can't get enough. He can't get used to the feeling of your hands in his hair, tugging on a few strands as you dig your tongue into his mouth. A small whine leaving his mouth as he brushes his bulge against you desperately. "Eager pretty boy?" He's unable to respond, so he just moans into your mouth, just the thought of entering you again makes his stomach churn. "I finally bought condoms," He says between breaths, "Took a lot of courage buying them." You wrap your arms around his neck, unbalancing him so he's laying down with you above him, "I love you." You love him.. "You know I love you too," His hands snake up under your shirt, lifting it off. "You're so good to me.." You say, kissing his neck, feeling his hips lift up into yours. You hold onto his hips, rubbing down on them, the friction between clothing causing Dongmin to moan. He loves any contact with you, just the feeling of you pressing against his dick makes his tummy flip. He's not sure what to do with his arms, eventually placing them on your thighs, feeling your body shift above him. You start undoing his sweats, gently pushing them down as he watches. You keep eye contact with him as you remove your sweats too, having less clothes keeping you away from his bare skin. You were feeling too lazy to actually remove the rest of the clothing so instead you just remove his dick from his boxers, and pushed your panties aside. Without breaking eye contact, you held his dick in your hands before sliding his tip against your folds. His eyes flutter shut, hands returning to your thighs. You circle your clit with his tip, your chest rising and falling. Dongmin letting out whimpers from the torturous movements. "Condom." You tell him in a quieter voice, you need him inside of you now. You watch as he messes with a box on his nightstand, pulling open the package. "You wanna do it?" You nod and grab the condom from him, slipping it onto him quickly. You take a deep breath before sinking down on him, biting your lip. Feeling Dongmin's hands tighten on your thighs, holding you down on his dick as deep as it can go. He pushes up into you, feeling your hands quickly hold him down. "Wait," You stop him from thrusting up into you again. "Let's just stay like this for a little bit." He doesn't respond, but he holds you tightly, as if you were about to float away. "I want this to last forever." It can. He can make that happen. "Angel.." Dongmin starts, kissing the top of your head, "I'm waiting for you.. I want this to last forever too, but I'm not sure if that's what you want.." You close your eyes, feeling the wetness from your tears, "It is what I want. I want you. I only want you." Dongmin's never been so conflicted. How can you want only him,, but not accept it when he's giving his all to you? He doesn't respond, he just does his best to ignore the aching pain coming from his dick, trying to enjoy the only intimate moments you give him. He's not sure how much more of this he could take.

He unclips your bra and slips it out between the two of you, loving the feeling of your tits against his chest. A tear unknowingly falls down your cheek and onto his chest, which he felt, "Are you okay?" "Mhm." You nod, face not showing in his direction, "You can,,,, go now." He thrusts up into you, placing kisses all over your skin. You whip away any leftover tears, and sit up. You put your hands on his chest for support, whispering his name under your breath. He's also moaning your voice, his senses heightened whenever he's with you. "I'm yours, right?" Dongmin continues to thrust into you, "Tell me I'm yours.." "You're mine baby." A small smile appears on your face after looking down at Dongmin, his cheeks are red and his eyes are glossy, "All mine." He's determined to make you cum first, holding in his orgasm for you. You're his priority, you're his #1. "Min I'm close-" You say, now grinding on him as he thrusts up, looking at the way he's breathing heavily. "You're close too aren't you?" He nods, not opening his mouth or else he wouldn't be able to control his words. He's now slamming his hips into yours, closing his eyes and opening them just in time to watch as your entire face mirrors the intense pleasure of your orgasm. He came too. But he hardly noticed over how focused he was on your effortless beauty. You got off of him, laying down right next to him as you kissed his lips softly. He's staring into your eyes when your phone starts ringing. "Fuck," You get up and grab your phone as he watches, "Hey babe. No yeah I'm on my way." You hang up and go searching for the close sprawled on Dongmin's bedroom floor. He's just looking at you, watching you gather your clothes. "He needs me to come over, and he sounds pretty angry too." You smile at Dongmin before placing a kiss on his cheek. "Do you know where my panties are?" You frantically look around his room for them. "Leave them here." He holds himself up by his arms. "You don't need them." You look at him and tilt your head, "What if he finds out I was here with you?" "So what?" "Dongmin.. He can't find out." Dongmin's such a fool.

If he's left with his thoughts anymore, he might go insane. It's been going on for 4 weeks, but it's been 6 days since he has last seen you. According to you, your boyfriend suspects something is up, but Dongmin's the last person on earth he'd think you were cheating on him with. You weren't responding to his texts or calls either, he's starting to wonder if he's lost you again. You kept posting about being at parties with your boyfriend for the past few days, you told Dongmin you couldn't see him cause you were busy with school workload. Dongmin offered to help you with work, he even told you that you'd do it for you, and you still said no. He needed to fill that empty space you had been occupying, which is why he's standing in front of the door to a classroom that was currently holding the school's 'aspiring artist' club. He's been meaning to attend for quite a while now, but never had the actual courage to show up. He just needed something, anything, to get you out of his head.

When he opened the door, the classroom was empty. Did he have the wrong time? "Hey man, can you hold the door open for us?" He turned around to see two guys rolling a cart of instruments towards the door, he immediately moved out the way for them to get into the classroom. "Thanks. Are you here for club?" Dongmin just nods, the other boy putting the instruments in the back of the classroom. The first boy holds his hand out with a smile, "I'm Jaehyun and the one back there is Leehan." Dongmin opens his mouth to respond but Jaehyun continues, "It's only us here today because the other members had other things to do. But you're welcome to stay!" "I'm Don-" "Are you here cause you want to make music?" Jaehyun looks at Leehan, "We also want to make music! We love composing and all that, do you like composing?" "..." "You seem like you'd be more into writing lyrics, maybe even both." Jaehyun tilts his head, "Not much of a talker are you?" "He's not talking cause you're not letting him," Leehan playfully pushes Jaehyun out the way, "And I'm Donghyun not Leehan." The two of them stare at Dongmin, waiting for him to say something. "I'm Dongmin.. And I do enjoy composing and writing." Jaehyun looks like he could explode with happiness, "Would it be too invasive of me to ask if I could hear something?" Dongmin doesn't like showing people his music, not that he has many people to show it to, but what if the people he's showing it to doesn't like it? What if they're too judgmental? Thankfully Jaehyun and Leehan were very nice about it. They both had to cover their mouths from opening and made many comments about how talented he was, and that everyone should listen to it. "The girl you wrote the songs about is very lucky hm.?" Jaehyun attempts to make small talk. It would've worked literally any other day but Dongmin was here specifically so he didn't have to think of you,, and now he's forced to think of you all over again. He smiles at Jaehyun, helping set up the drum set they were unpacking, "I guess," He shrugs, "She has a boyfriend." "She has a boyfriend and you're writing a song about her?" Leehan raises an eyebrow, "Does he know?" Dongmin looks up at Leehan, "Her boyfriend? No he doesn't know.. But she does." Jaehyun and Leehan exchange a look before Jaehyun puts the parts of the drum he was holding down and grabs his computer, "I think you should upload your songs." Jaehyun opens the soundcloud website, "Make an account." "Why?" Dongmin asks, taking a seat next to Jaehyun. "Look man, you clearly have unfinished business with this girl, and we can't help you with it." He sighs, "But the music you're making about her is actually really good, and you may be able to benefit from your feelings if you upload your music." Dongmin takes a seat next to Jaehyun, staring at the website, "I won't be able to upload them right now." "So do it later," Jaehyun pushes his computer towards Dongmin, "I just don't think these songs should be for our ears only." Maybe Jaehyun's right, Dongmin has always wanted to make his music private, but he's always been too scared to. This was probably a sign that he should, and so he puts his artist name as 'Taesan,' creates the account and makes a mental note to actually do something with the account later. "You're like a male heartbroken Avril Lavigne," Leehan mentions, cleaning up the mess of instrument cases, "Maybe except a little more heartbroken." Dongmin actually smiles at that, sinking in the uncomfortable chair. Maybe he's a little glad he met Jaehyun and Leehan. And who knows? Maybe he'll go famous and you'll fall in love with him then. -

The moment he finished uploading all his songs onto his newly created soundcloud, there was a knock at the door. And when he opened the door, he couldn't be happier. It didn't even take you two seconds before you were shoving your tongue into his mouth, slamming the door behind you. "I have 15 minutes." "Only 15 minutes?" Dongmin repeats between kisses, guiding the two of you to his room. You remove your hoodie, holding his face in your hands, "I have a date." He holds your hands in his and presses kisses down your neck, "Yet you're here.?" "I've felt very Dongmin deprived." You let out a low groan when Dongmin kisses the sensitive spot on your neck. "Yeah cause you haven't seen me in a-" He's interrupted with you moving your hips against him. He mimics your actions, hands moving to hold onto your ass, "Just shut up okay?" You say quietly. And he listens, because he will always listen to you. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, leaning on his shoulders for stability, still grinding your hips on him at a comfortable pace. He closes his eyes, just focusing on the slight release he's feeling from his cock because of you. You kiss all over his neck, sucking on a spot under his ear, feeling his hips hit up into yours. Feeling more desperate, you speed up, earning soft moans from Dongmin. You keep looking at the time and right as he's reaching his orgasm, you stop. "Fuck, I have to go." "Are you kidding??" Dongmin groans as you get off his lap, picking up your hoodie from off the floor. "I'm sorry," You pout, palming his bulge once before kissing him, "I can't stay longer." You check the time one more time before quickly making your way out of his room. "Why can't you.?" He follows your hurried body into the living room, watching you put on your shoes, almost losing balance and falling. You search for your purse, "Because we are dating." "You're cheating on him." He brings up. "Don't start with that." You flare your nostrils, "That's not fair." Dongmin's voice gets smaller, "Yeah well it's not very fair on me either." "I thought of you while having sex with him." Is the last thing you say before opening the door and walking out. He could just die. For multiple reasons. 1, you left. 2, you just told him a piece of information that he will think about every second of every day. and 3, his cock is still hard. And he never got to cum. He's patting himself on the back for keeping your panties that one time. He also has zero intentions on returning them. So maybe he is a perv. He takes them out of one of his drawers and drags his thumb across the crotch of it. So thankful he never gave them back to you. Just looking at them made him remember that night, the way you looked, the way you felt. All the thoughts flooded back to his cock, pressed against the cotton fabric of the same sweats he wore that night with you. You. That was all he could think about.

It seemed like all he was doing was thinking, even as he was ridding himself of all clothes in the way of his cock. Laying down on his bed, wanting you on top of him like you always are. He wraps the fabric of your panties around the tip of his cock before moving it in circles, his hips immediately jolting at the feeling. "Fuck.." Your panties feel really nice against his skin, especially when he starts thrusting into his hand, releasing moans from his throat. He's desperate for whatever release he can get, especially since he's only been relying on you for the past few weeks. You. It's all he can think about. It's all he's imagining,,, He's imagining that you're the one surrounding his cock, and not your panties. He's imagining that you're with him. Knowing it's your panties touching him only makes his dream feel real, and he speeds up his, knowing he's been wanting to cum since he was with you. The way his hand moves around his cock causes him to breathe heavily, noticing his long awaited orgasm approach, making him go faster. He's repeating your name in-between 'sorries' as cum shoots out of his cock. His chest falling as he opens his eyes, reality setting in. He stares at your panties in his hand, now covered in his cum. He really hates your boyfriend.

Dongmin knows he can't keep fueling this. He knows cheating is wrong and yet he's helping you cheat. His heart doesn't know any better. At the end of the day, he's the one making you cum, he's the one taking care of you, so he really can't understand why you just wont end your relationship. I mean you let him cum inside of you the very first time you guys had sex. So obviously it meant something for you.. His brain just can't seem to overpower his heart no matter what he does. He could honestly just cry. He's starting to feel bad for himself. Your words don't match your actions, and he still doesn't exist to you outside of the privacy of either one of your bedrooms. But he keeps doing this to himself, he keeps entangling himself with you. And he's about to do it again. Your boyfriend just left, and you had asked him to come over. Normally people who know they're in a bad relationship, or whatever you can call this, would say no and turn around, and maybe even go home. But he's Dongmin. Someone who is so in love with you that he would do anything. Even if it meant just being a fuck buddy. Even if that meant helping you cheat. It takes you a moment to open the door, smiling at the sight of him. "Sorry, I was just tidying up a bit." "For me?" He can't help but smile, especially when you plant a kiss on him right after too. You make a small pout with your lips and softly caress his cheek, "Of course for you, silly. Who else?"

Dongmin loved everything about you. But if he had to dislike one thing, it would be the way you lead him on. How you pretend like you like him, but only when it's just the two of you. How you acknowledge your boyfriend is nothing compared to him, and yet you stay with him. Why? "I've wanted you so bad." He says, wrapping his arms around your waist. You look up at him, smile slowly fading as you stand on your tippy toes to kiss him again. Not speaking back, just responding with your actions. And he knows you've wanted him just as bad when you bite in his bottom lip so you can sneak your tongue into his mouth, earning a groan from him. "How badly?" You finally respond, batting your eyelashes, not taking your eyes off his. He leans in to kiss you, "So badly." He whispers before placing his lips on yours, holding your head up with his hand gently. You manage to wrap your legs around his waist, feeling his hands come to hold you up without breaking the kiss. He could kiss you forever.

He carries you to your bedroom like this, placing you on your bed as he stands between your legs. He wishes he could kiss you forever. You grind your hips against his, feeling his cock grow against you when you grab his hair. He's kissing you as if he's never kissed you before. Like he wants what he can't have. He can't have you. So he takes whatever time he can get with you, through all the obstacles in his way, even if it's a secret. As long as he gets some of you,, a little piece of you,, at least. He removes your clothes slowly, admiring you again, dragging his fingertips across any part of your body he can touch. Your hand grabbing his, "Dongmin." You snap him out of the trance you put him in, and he realizes he's the only one fully dressed. But he's frozen. He can't move. He doesn't want to move. Normally you would tell him to snap out of it, but today you don't feel like doing that either. Instead you help him out of his clothes, placing a soft kiss on the middle of his stomach. "Come on Min," You shake his arm, speaking in a very soft tone, "I'm sure whatever you're thinking about can wait." You. It's all he can think about. It's all he's ever thinking about. "Sorry," He let's go of your hand, heading to your dresser for a condom. He knows all too well about where you keep them. He pumps his cock a few times before sliding it on, going back to you. "My pretty boy..." Is all that you say before he's entering you, making your back arch. Your pretty boy. He will always belong to you. He holds onto your legs as he thrusts into you, watching as you hold onto your bedsheets, your fists balling up. Despite his head making him unable to think straight, he's still keeping up good momentum. He notices a tear fall from your eyes, voice breaking every time he thrusts into you. He doesn't know why you're crying,,, how could he know if you don't even know.? Yet it makes him cry a little too. And he still doesn't know why,, but the air in the room today is heavy, almost suffocating. Why does he feel like he's losing you? He thrusts into you with more force, but not at a faster pace. He's taking his time. Moving his hands from your legs to your waist, so that way he could look at you from above. The way every part of your face reacts, the way your eyelashes look with your eyes closed, and even the dried up tears on your cheeks. Those dried up tears. He's sure his tears dried up too. You start grabbing at his arms holding your waist, fingers digging into them. "Oh shit, Dongmin." You open your eyes, wanting to look at his face while you approach your orgasm.

And he's approaching his too, with the way he's speeding up his hip movements. Watching as he bites his lip really hard,,, he doesn't feel like making much noise right now. He only wants to hear you. You both reach your climax at the same time, feeling his cock twitch inside you. Remembering the way you moan his name every time he makes you cum. He swears the sounds only get sweeter and sweeter. He rubs soft circles on the skin of your thighs, comforting you through the intense feeling after your orgasm. Waiting until you're breathing returns to normal before pulling out. Dongmin removes the condom and makes an attempt to throw it right at the trashcan in your room. And he puts his boxers back on before collapsing on the bed next to you. For the next few minutes you just lay in comfortable silence, your arm wrapped around his stomach. Your grip on him tighter than he's ever felt, and you look like you're contemplating saying something. "Are you Taesan?" You finally ask, watching as his face drops. He doesn't even look back at you, "What?" "Are those songs about me?" "No." He lies. That's the first time Dongmin has ever lied to you like that. You sit up, placing a hand on his, "You can't lie to me, Taesan." Now it's his turn to sit up, "Who told you about it." "A friend of mine. She found it and sent it to me," You play with your fingers, "The lyrics were oddly familiar." "I can't deny it.." When you don't say anything, he continues, "You know I'm in love with you." You quickly respond, "You can't be." "Why not?" Dongmin says grabbing his clothes, handing you yours, "I know you're in love with me too." You take the clothes out of his hand, putting them on, "I'm not." "Yes you are,, You can't lie to me either... I know you are." Dongmin's voice gets slightly louder, a small quiver appearing. "I can't keep waiting for you." You place your hands on your face, "This was such a mistake." "What?" You try to talk but all that comes out is a deep breath, "I'm sorry Dongmin. This never should've happened." He can't believe this is happening. You stand up, opening the door to your room and leading him to wear his shoes are. "But it did. It did happen. Multiple times." Dongmin says following you, "And you liked it. That's why you still slept with me just now, knowing I wrote songs about you, knowing that I really like you." He sensed this the moment he walked through your door. He knew something was wrong, that's why you cried. That's why he cried. He somehow knew it would be your last time together, but he didn't even realize it. You open your door, watching as he puts his shoes on and steps outside, looking back at you. "You're right, I did know.. and I did like it. I loved you." You look down at your feet, sniffling, "I just wanted to be with you one last time." He's unable to say anything, his throat is clogged. He has so much more he wants to say, yet he's scared. "I'm sorry. Goodbye, Dongmin." You make an attempt to smile, not being able to hide the tear falling down your cheek. He went from looking at your face to now suddenly staring at the front of your door. Out of the 8 billion people on earth, why him?

© kissohee this fic is deep in my heart, hope u enjoyed it as much as i did. (not sponsored by soundcloud), i also cant write endings so im sorry 😭

#in honor of how? release #so proud of bnd #boynextdoor #boynextdoor smut #taesan #taesan smut

[c0smoshit]

hi! i have a request (obviosuly you can choose to do it or not, im not forcing you ^^) with a cloud x fem reader story.

y/n and cloud were togheter for a year now, and cloud returns home after a long time (1 month) and he was really clingy because he missed y/n so much but he was kinda shy doing all these things and let this side of him go out that much. (i'll leave to you adding details or something to the story) basically just a cute fluff story with shy kisses,cuddles and things like that :3

bye and thank you! i LITERALLY LOVE your story "Shy Kisses", and i love the way you write! i would be happy if you did this story for me❤️

Far Road ミ★

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Cloud Strife/Reader ⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ fluff!! ⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ last fic of the year and it had to be a Cloud one, hope you enjoy it and thanks for this adorable request!! ⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 2.233

A knock at your door kept you from washing your dishes.

God how you missed him.

Everytime someone knocked, you would run to the door, only to be dissapointed with a plain looking hair and eyes, not your spiky blonde hair mixed with some astonishing mako infused eyes.

It had been such long, lonely and cold nights without his arms warming you up from under the bed, his body so close to you, you could feel his own heartbeat.

You even tried to replace him with some big chocobo plushie he had gifted you a few months ago.

And although they might look alike, no big, fluffy chick could replace your grumpy one.

"I'm coming"

You announced, the glint of hope on your eyes completely vanished now as you placed your plate down the sink. Drying your hands on a towel, you began walking towards the door.

. . .

"Please don't be out there for too long"

Your words caused a crack inside his chest, when he had finally became comfortable with you, with your home, your smell. He had to help his friends once again.

He hadn't even stepped outside the door on that quiet, dark twilight he already was missing you so much. He couldn't bear the fact that he was going to be without you for such a long time, what if something happened to you?

He wouldn't be able to protect you and he did not want to go over that feeling again.

Your shivering hands held your door as your blanket was still wrapped around you, too cold not to hold it close against your body. He hated seeing you shivering, you should be heading back to the bed with him, you even didn't have to work next day so he could've stayed with you.

You also were supposed to be sleeping, it was definitely too early for your puffy eyes to be staring at his own ones in such a melancholic way. He felt guilty, your poor, tired body had been awaken by him shuffling around the appartment, soon coming to see him depart.

"I'll be back soon, promise"

He whispered into the thin air before wrapping an arm around your waist, holding you close to his chest for the last time before a long while. Getting a whiff of your syrupy shampoo, memorizing it's smell.

But on top of it all, he hated saying goodbye after all the times he hadn't got the proper time to verbalize it.

. . .

Opening it up you didn't even see the face of the person that was standing in front of you at first, your eyes peeking at your kitchen for a brief moment to see if you has closed the sink. But when you took a glance at the very man that was standing in front of you, you almost fell down.

Eyes wide as you recognized his almost hollow scent, you quickly searched his eyes, hoping that they had been exposed to a, now familiar, substance.

"Hey"

Oh god.

It was really him.

His eyes quickly closed tight as your arms suddenly enveloped his neck like a scarf, a homemade one. You smelled good, really good. He had been craving that sweet aroma of yours, how it would linger on his pillows for a while after you had gotten off the bed.

And your soft skin finally embracing his own one, tender as he had imagined so many nights out there without you. Your nose hitting his shirt in such a perfect way as you pressed closer into his chest, your short breaths and your tight squeezes against him.

He finally was home.

He got so deep into his thoughts he didn't notice you dragging him into your home, back to the place you had both shared everything. Your socks dragging along his boots as you happily guided him to the living room, not once spliting appart.

"Can't believe you're finally back"

He huffed, rubbing your right arm soothingly as you both sat on the sofa, getting lost in the softness of the couch, you really had done a great job in choosing the pillows.

. . .

"Hey"

He said with half a chuckle as your hands worked on his belt, eager to get inside the bathtub you had made with so much love for both of you.

He first sat down, letting you do the same as you rested in front of him, a relieved sigh coming from your mouth as you leant your head back slightly, careful not to soak your hair up with the blueberry foam.

Both of you getting lost in the feeling of the lukewarm water, a bit too cold for your liking but you knew he liked it just this way. When he opened his eyes briefly he saw you already smiling like a dork at him, almost seeing hearts in your eyes.

"You really did miss me huh?"

You chuckled, of course you had, buying groceries without him by your side and his nonexisent advices over which fruit would taste better or the clothes that would fit you the best.

His afternoon dates of offering you rides around Midgar, the warm afternoon breeze vanishing through your hair as you stared at the dying sun, mind in blank and finally at peace. Listening to the loud roar of the engine, you would always place your hands underneath his jacket, trying to keep them warm as your cheek pressed against his back.

Your homemade meals, god he missed them, nothing could even come closer to the taste of your food, your own personal chocolate smiling faces on your desserts whenever you had the chance.

"Mmmhm"

You nodded in agreement before getting outside the tub, at first he would've asked you where were you going but the feeling of your hands on his wet hair and the smell of his shampoo quickly shut him up.

"Missed you so so much"

You said in a soft tone, rubbing the liquid on his scalp, slowly massaging it around his golden strands, careful not to make knots.

He was in heaven right now.

He desired to wash himself up on his bath once again, the strong scent of his few soaps and some deserved intimacy. But your hands working on his hair was definitely something else.

"Feels good?"

A nod slowly answered your question, smiling as you admired his state: tightly closed eyes, limbs falling over the bath and the sluggish pace of his chest.

You continued rubbing his scalp, your movements soon growing more and more tender and sweet. You had missed him so much you wanted to express your feelings through your touch, your honeyed words and maybe a tasty meal.

When you had finished cleaning up his hair, you motioned him to wash the soap off with some water, giggling as you saw him sliding down the tub, shaking a bit his head under the water. You finally got up, knees feeling slightly numb as you stretched yourself, slowly getting inside the tub again with him.

But this time you had layed on top of him, his eyes shooting wide as he took in the feeling of your body, too blissed out to even notice you getting back up. But he soon wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to his chest as he spread his legs, letting you rest in between them.

There wasn't anything sexual about this, the feeling of your wet skin touching his underneath the water didn't make him feel aroused.

It made him feel loved, warm.

The way your cheek would brush into his before your head lowered down below his chin, your red face thanks to the closiness and the temperature of the room. It was all too much for him to handle so he opted to just admire you as you closed your eyes with a sigh on top of him.

He had his arms wrapped around your waist, sitting upright before his limbs decided to copy your own, relaxing and softening under your body.

Oh how he wishes to do this every day, to hold you until his last breath.

The feeling of your skin wouldn't go away even if the tried to file it down his own skin.

He kissed your forehead, and after you were both satisfied and soaked up enough until your fingers were all wrinkled up. You kissed him on the lips slowly, smiling like a dork and laughing lowly, your breath hitting his mouth as you whispered.

"I love you"

"I'm here with you now"

His deep voice made you giggle like a little girl, you loved his low tone, the first thing you would hear in the mornings and the last thing you would hear before falling asleep. For things like that you loved his quiet self, after a long while of not talking, his voice would naturally lower some tones.

. . .

Wrapped with a towel you looked at him, his hair all ruffled and soaked up just as his body. His towel hung lowly on his hips and you couldn't help but admire your boyfriend's chiseled physique.

How did you get so lucky??

Your mind always gets back to that question, he wasn't only caring, honest and cute but he was ripped off too?!?

And his absolutely angelic face, his gorgerous eyes and his small and cute nose were too much for you to handle. Since the day you had first seen him, you had always thought that his absolutely adorable features didn't match his body. He was just too cute to be that buff!

"Seen enough already?"

He asked with a hidden smirk, he also loved the way you drooled over him, teasing you just to see your blushy cheeks as you had been caught. But he couln't really laugh that loud because, hell, you looked absolutely astonishing too.

"Nah, not yet"

You teased back, walking until you met him as you wrapped your arms around his back, pecking his shoulder as you heard his breath hitching, earning a sly smirk from you.

But as much as you wanted to tease him further, the roles were quickly exchanged as he picked you up suddenly, throwing you over his shoulder as he started to walk off the steamy bathroom. He often did this, picking you up or manhandling you around, trying to avoid your teasing kisses or touches. And you should be already accustomed to it, but you couldn't help the yelp escaping from your lips.

He was the one smirking now.

Playfully kicking his back you told him to put you down, laughing as you felt his shoulder poking your stomach through your towel, your hair fell down and your face was starting to heat up again thanks to your blood travelling downwards.

But soon your giggles were cut off as you landed on the bed, jumping off slightly as you stared at him with fake disbelief.

"Did you loose your maners on that trip?"

You said as you stared at him, resting on your elbows, his back was facing you as he searched some clothes on your closet. His back moved swiftly as his muscles flexed under his skin, huffing out he answered.

"Maybe"

You laid your head on the bed, closing your eyes as you breathed out, taking all the space with your extremities. The bed felt extra-soft today and the lavender scent you always sprayed on on top of the mattress seemed to have became stronger.

"But maybe you shouldn't tease me like that"

You almost didn't pick up his words but your pride was much more bigger than just accepting them, so you sat upright, looking at the oversized shirt he was holding on his arms.

"Oh, you love it"

You said in a ludic tone, quickly taking away the piece of clothing as you smiled mischeviously.

"Hey, that was my shirt"

You dropped your towel before putting on the shirt, smelling it like crazy before your head poked out of it. He naturally retrieved his eyes from your back, as if he didn't see you naked just a few minutes ago.

"Well, it smelt too good for you to wear it"

He huffed out, reaching out to grab another shirt before placing it over himself finally and he actually noticed it smelling a bit too much like him. Did you spray his perfume over it?

Well, he couldn't blame you, he was the first one to take a long breath of your hair the moment you hugged him. Press his face on your pillow as he woke up, hell he did even smell your shirts once in a while.

"mmmhmm"

You mumbled, sighing out for a long while as you finally nuzzled into his neck once again. You had really, really missed his arms around you, well, his everything around you. From his soft skin to his steady heartbeat, soothing you slowly into nirvana.

"I love you"

You lifted your head just so you could kiss him once again, lips you couldn't understand how they were perfectly hydrated always. And it wasn't an exception tonight, moving slowly against yours as his hot breath hit your cheeks.

But you felt yourself slowly falling asleep on him, so he took your face off him, pecking your cheek before his right hand guided you back to his neck. His hand then lifted the mattress, carefully covering both of your entwined bodies.

#[ 📒 c0smos!fics ] #ff7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy x reader #ff7 x reader #cloud strife #cloud strife x reader #cloud x reader #final fantasy fluff #cloud strife fluff #ffvii x reader #ff7 cloud #cloud ff7 #final fantasy cloud #ff7 fanfic #ffviir #ffvii cloud

[elysianymph]

🔥 anything about sirius because i am being a little hater towards some characterisations too

i've already talked your ears off about this on discord but i'm happy to talk to about it again bc i fucking HATE new sirius black with a burning passion. i hate him as much as i love my sirius black that marauderstok can pry from my cold dead hands bc i'm not letting him go. i don't know when it happened and why but marauders fans are particularly persistent on taking away any interesting traits sirius had and leaving behind a whimpering pathetic twink that cries when someone looks at him the wrong way. sirius has been scrubbed clean of any morally grey traits he might've had (he's not allowed to care for his family (unless it's regulus) or long for them bc they are bad, he's not allowed to have any prejudices even though he was literally raised with pureblood mentality and taught he was superior to everyone else from the day he was born, he's not allowed to be an asshole bc he's not like his family guys!! and when he is an asshole it's always used to victimize the character he's being an asshole to and sirius is painted as the villain with mommy issues that can only be fixed by getting dicked down apparently)

i cannot stress this enough: LET THIS MAN BE A COMPLEX CHARACTER!! and no, giving him mental illnesses that miraculously disappear when he gets together with remus and making him attempt to kill himself post prank because he feels bad is NOT making him complex! you're just weird. you're just romanticizing mental illnesses and i can't believe you don't see anything wrong with it. giving him bipolar to justify his actions is?? not??? representation??? it's offensive to people who actually have to deal with these issues in their day to day lives and yet here you are using something that will impact their life forever as a plot device for your uwu sadboy mlm fanfic.

and that's what new sirius boils down to. he's a plot device, an accessory to everyone else's story that's never given much depth other than "oh his mom used the cruciatus on him and now he's traumatized". no hate to jegulus but hate to specific jegulus fics that turn sirius into an overdramatic caricature of his former self for the sake of drama and angst.

also, some of these wolfstar shippers... wtf are you guys on?? idk when and why (that's a lie i do but i'm not gonna say it) remus became sirius black in a werewolf costume but here we are. oh sirius was cool and effortlessly smart and handsome and girls wanted him? well guess what? snatches all of those character traits and throws them onto remus they're his character traits now. ignore how it doesn't make any sense for the werewolf child who was isolated from the rest of the world to be a smooth talking alpha casanova who plays basketball actually. while we're at it, ignore how unrealistic it is for a boy who was raised in a family that believed they were superior to everyone else based on blood status, who was raised to be the perfect heir and checked off all the traits needed to be one to be insecure?? and unsure of himself?? and stupid??? and a loser??? i don't understand what the point of flipping the wolfstar dynamic was when you're left with a shallow copy of the original but ok. you do you ig.

to summarize, my sirius is cool and effortlessly smart and egotistical and a complete asshole who thinks he's the best thing ever. is it an act to cover up how damaged he thinks he is because of his family? possibly. but i also fully believe sirius thought he was a god amongst men and everyone should be glad to be in his presence. he talked down to other people because he considered himself smarter, he rolled his eyes when students asked stupid questions and made fun of them when they got an answer wrong. he's a teenage boy let him be a dick with no excuses.

(also i find it funny when people write about sirius getting into a fight with james or remus and crying because they said something mean. as if sirius wouldn't throw hands the moment someone started criticizing him. he's toxic and that's what makes him interesting. that's his purpose! characters exist to make stories interesting, to start drama, not to be your moral guide on how to act. stories become so much more fun once you let go of the need to make every character a good person. also liking a character doesn't equal liking them as a person. i love sirius but i would hate his guts irl)

#i feel like i can never fully write what i want to say and i hate it #wish i could take you guys on a tour of my brain. it's crazy up in here #thank you for letting me talk zandra it's almost like you knew what was bothering me znjzjzj #it's really not that deep (i say after writing an entire post about it) #(it's not i just like to talk to myself and hope someone will listen bc i am very very passionate can you tell?) #sirius black #mwpp #marauders #marauders era #nymph answers #hating hours 🔥 #just to be safe #tw mental illness #tw sui attempt

[jujitto]

▬▬ [ 𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 ] AS LOVE TROPES [ HYUNG LINE ]

KIM HONGJOONG [ 김홍중 ] ; FAKE DATING BUT HE FALLS FIRST. I always see these type of stories and it’s always the girl that falls first but what about the boy? NO HEAR ME OUT BECAUSE I CAN SEE HONGJOONG AND Y/N FAKE DATING. Whether it’s them trying to get somebody from asking too many questions about their love life or just for the heck of it. THE MORE TIME THEY SPENT TOGETHER LAUGHING, GOING DATES, AND WELL DOING WHAT COUPLES DO THE MORE FEELINGS START TO DEVELOP! And surprise surprise it isnt Y/N who falls in love first but rather Hongjoong. It’s just something about Y/N that makes Hongjoong smile and want to be with her. Close your mouth Hongjoong sweetie before a fly flies in. Y/N would only start to realize her feelings for him when they start actually going out on dates and doing the things couples would do without any specific reason. HONGJOONG CONFESSES FIRST! Honestly I love this….someone write this as a fic, PLS! I BEG YOU!

PARK SEONGHWA [ 박성화 ] ; Seonghwa, precious SEONGHWA! I can see Seonghwa BEING THE BEST FRIEND’S BROTHER! Why? Becuz HE JUST GIVES THOSE VIBES. His sweet, caring, goofy, and charismatic nature is just perfect for it. Honestly would be the most caring brother but also he is just as caring for you as well! Now come on! Tell me you see it?!?! HE WOULD CARE MORE ABOUT YOU THAN HE WOULD LET ON! HE DEFINITELY HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR YEARS BUT NEVER ADMITTED UNTIL his emotions got the better of him and he kisses you. I CAN BUT I CAN’T SEE IT. Best friend’s Brother!Seonghwa for the win? Anyone? Ok, just me then 😭.

JEONG YUNHO [ 정윤호 ] ; LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ANYONE? Now come on don't tell me you wouldn't fall in love with Yunho from the very first glance at him. ITS YUNHO! If you say no I’ll fight u! Imagine falling in love with someone from the very, first time you see them. You didn’t even know them, and yet you feel attracted to them like you were guys were meant to be. That’s what I’m getting. Yes, sir, that’s what I’m getting. Or Star Crossed Lovers!!!! OMG NO BECAUSE I CAN SEE IT! Being in love with him just for things to end up going completely differently than you both hoped. You guys can’t spend any time together because of schedules and certain circumstances that take over your time and life. So your left wondering, will you ever be able to see him, spend time with him, love him? That’s all you ever wonder about. BUT MAYBE THINGS ARENT MEANT TO BE! Yunho deserves better!

KANG YEOSANG [ 강여상 ] ; Now I wasn’t quite sure which trope Yeosang would fit into until I realized that the story I wrote for him, was literally a trope. YEOSANG, POOR YEOSANG is going to be a part of the trope of Falling In Love With The Wrong Person // The One That Got Away. WHY? Because I already wrote a story about it and it just fits. I can see Yeosang being the character that is always there for you no matter what. And you just take it as a sign of him being a good friend but now because he actually has feelings for you, but has never gotten a chance to tell you. SO WHY WOULD YOU FALL FOR ANOTHER WHEN YOU HAVE KANG YEOSANG RIGHT IN FRONT YOU? Y/N you are stupid. You don’t know what you lost until it’s gone. It’s all a part of the second lead syndrome, hahaha it’s coming soon I promise! 🥲

#k-films #kbookshelf #kflixnet #❝ A T E E Z ❞ #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez ff #ateez drabbles #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #atz ff #atz fanfic #atz fic #atz hongjoong #ateez hongjoong #atz seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #atz yunho #ateez yunho #atz yeosang #ateez yeosang #kpop fanfic #kpop ff #kpop imagines

[jennagrinsoverml]

hello, idk if you've done this yet, but do u know any good post reveal pre relationship fic recs? sorry if this request is kinda vague lol

General requests are easier than super specific ones lol so you don’t need to apologize for that! I have been meaning to do a PRPR rec list for a while now (and, not directed at you, anon, but yes, PRPR stands exclusively for post-reveal pre-relationship) so thanks for giving me the push to finally do it! (Sorry, I may have gotten a little carried away with this one, but it’s truly one of my favourite things to read.)

The Official Summer Buster Kiss List by @peachcitt

“You’d really be alright with kissing me?” he asked, and Marinette popped the cap of her dry-erase marker on and off.

“I mean, yeah,” she said, and they stared at each other for a moment. “Of course,” she hurried on, “you’d have to be alright with being my candidate. Teacher. Guide. Whatever.” She made a few empty gestures with the marker, and the loose cap flew off the end, bouncing off the wall and rolling off her desk.

Adrien caught it before it could fall to the floor, handing it back to her. “I am,” he said, looking her in the eye. “I’ll do it.”

or

a very simple four-point plan to tackle the issue of marinette's abysmal kissing life that turns into a six-point plan and also results in an outcome that literally no one could have predicted (sarcasm)

One-shot. They’re just so incredibly stupid (affectionate). The writing is gorgeous, the humour is spot on, and I loved all the little details of their lives with the passage of time. It’s so clear that they love each other, but as always, it takes them way too long to admit it haha.

Emergency Contact by @coffeebanana

When Marinette invites Adrien to live with her temporarily while she recovers from an injury, she thinks the hardest part is going to be hiding her feelings from him. But Adrien's idea of being helpful might go...a little overboard.

Post Shadow Moth defeat, Aged Up Characters, Read the Tags

Multi-chapter. This fic is just so real and messy and beautiful. The mutual pining is absolutely perfect! The backstory and how that impacts their current dynamic is so well woven through and adds another layer to their relationship. But also, I love the lack of perfection, that these are real people with real flaws and the way that all plays out. I absolutely love this fic!

rainwater and brown sugar by @aerequets

He knew they shouldn't do anything (whatever that 'anything' was). They couldn't. Not until they defeated Hawkmoth. Not until their relationship wouldn't get in the way of their work (or whatever other excuse they'd come up with over the course of three months). He knew all this. He knew.

But it was the raindrop that did it for him.

One-shot. It’s seriously unfair that someone who draws so beautifully should be able to write equally so. And yet. This is just so beautiful and SOFT and lovely. And then THAT KISS!!!!!

An Open Secret by @kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Multi-chapter. I absolutely love the early reveal in this fic. I’ve read a lot of reveals, but this one is really fun and original! And then the premise of the fic itself isn’t one I’ve seen anywhere else, which makes it very different from the usual PRPR fare. Because even though they both know...they can’t actually talk about it. And it’s so interesting and different and sweet?

A little push by @emsylcatac

Alya asks Chat Noir to record a video of himself encouraging Marinette to confess...to Adrien.

Of course his mouth speaks on its own. Of course he says yes.

Of course his Lady is most likely sure to kill him.

...And of course Marinette feels like she's the one who's about to die.

One-shot. @emsylcatac‘s fics never go the way that I expect them to, and I really love that about her writing. Although this starts off really silly, the way Adrien expresses himself at the end wasn’t something I saw coming at all, even though it’s SO TRUE to his character. The pining and miscommunication is wonderful, but it’s the ending that really sells me on this one.

17 days, 2 hours and some odd minutes by @miabrown007

It has been 17 days, 2 hours and 14 minutes since Chat Noir flirted with Ladybug for the last time.

It has been exactly 17 days, 2 hours and 13 minutes since Adrien realized his very good friend and his best friend were, in fact, one and the same.

Consecutively, it has been exactly 17 days, 2 hours and 12 minutes since he constantly fought the insurmountable desire to kiss the said friend.

One-shot. The yearning in this fic is absolutely e x q u i s i t e . I love it when Adrien stops flirting post-reveal and Marinette takes it the wrong way. And they’re just SO STUPID here, and then they get to be adorable in love dorks.

the wonderful part of the mess that we made by heresie_irisee

They knew.

They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her.

One-shot but a lengthy one-shot. How about some post-Oblivio fic that has the magical ladybugs NOT erase their memories of the fight (because lbr that made no sense anyway)? Oblivio is probably my favourite episode and this is such a great fic. The mutual pining is so, so, so good! Especially love Marinette struggling to assimilate Adrien’s identities and Adrien’s obliviousness.

The Boy She Loves by @goth-bias

Adrien just wants to know who Marinette has been in love with this entire time, but she refuses to budge. Accidentally reading a part of her diary, however, gives Adrien the answers he has been looking for.

One-shot. So you may not know this about me, but I’m absolute sucker for the trope of Adrien fixating on the boy Marinette loves post-reveal. (And tbf for him fixating on the boy Ladybug loves pre-reveal.) I love how well done the miscommunication is here, where their failure to confess makes sense and all of the tension naturally follows.

Make it clear by @amiraculousplatypus​

After years, the masks have fallen. Marinette and Adrien figure out what has changed. And what hasn't.

One-shot. This one is all about the yearning. And then Adrien’s beautiful honesty that pushes Marinette to finally do something. They’re both so in character and I love them so much!

White Lies Over White Nights by meirencollector

“Tell me, Marinette. The other boy, is it me?"

There’s something about the way he says it. The way his lips move. The way his eyes glaze at her. The way he looks at her as if she hung the moon and stars. The way there’s a warm glow when he's drawing close to touch. Even in this snowstorm, he was a ray of sunshine, and she was a sunburn.

One-shot. This one is really interesting because of both its device--a game of Truth or Drink--and its use of non-linear storytelling. Even though the fic is set post-reveal, we get all kinds of flashbacks to memories of their pre-reveal interactions that really illuminate the present and are extremely well woven into the narrative. I also really appreciated how honest Adrien was about his feelings, even with their relationship being so ambiguous.

The following fics are amazing and absolutely worth reading, but do feature sexual content, so minors beware.

your lips are meant to be kissed by @zimtlein

During a tipsy evening, Adrien kisses Marinette’s forehead.

Understandably enough, Marinette has a complete meltdown.

One-shot. Rated E for sexual content. This is one of my favourite fics and I’ve read it a good half a dozen times at least. The pining is absolutely phenomenal and Adrien is so, so oblivious. And the tension between them just builds and builds and builds until I thought I was going to die! But instead it all leads to a phenomenal resolution.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #ml fic #ml fic rec #adrienette #adrinette #ml love square #post-reveal pre-relationship #prpr #jennarecsml #ml fic recs #marichat #ladrien #ladynoir

[wildechild3]

Modern Maurice AU

Part 4: The Kiddos!

(Re-posted because someone decided to leave a rude comment on the first one. Please keep in mind, this is for fun. It's fanfiction. It's literally not a big deal.)

This part is background information about Maurice and Alec as parents. Like I said in part 1, none of this is spoilers for the fic I want to write. Also, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions, these are just my headcanons!

The Kiddos:

Early on into dating, Maurice mused to Alec about being a father. But he only spoke about it in a hypothetical way. It was only the one conversation, and he didn't think Alec was really listening anyway. (Alec was. That's the biggest difference between Clive and Alec, he listens.)

After they got married, they took a short vacation to the countryside and found they liked it a lot more there than in the hustle bustle of the city. Maurice is already working from home at this point (I'm thinking this is late 2020-2021) and Alec's construction company had an opening closer to the small country town they were interested in moving to. They decided to take the chance, and found being closer to nature and out of the city was much better for their mental health (especially Maurice's, who's in therapy by this point).

They've lived in this country town for about a year when Alec gently broaches the subject. He brings up the conversation they had early in their relationship (to which Maurice replies, "You remember that!?"). He ends by saying he never saw himself as a father, but now that him and Maurice are settled and happy, he couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else.

Maurice is thrown off and doesn't give solid answer at first - which Alec is confused by but respects and gives the topic space. Maurice isn't against the idea, in fact he very excited by it. He just never thought he'd get this far - and he sits Alec down to tell him as such. He talks about how deep his depression was and his suicidal ideation - both of which convinced him that he'd never live long enough to see thirty. Yet here he was. Freshly thirty and the happiest he'd ever been. He ends by telling Alec that he'd love to be a father with him - but is scared of being too 'muddled' to be any good at it.

Alec responds by assuring him that he doesn't have to be perfect. That he wouldn't be alone. That he and Maurice would be a team. He tells Maurice that they can take their time and suggests they start small and work up to actually doing it.

So they do. First, they talk about which rooms in their little house would be a good spot for a nursery/child's room. Then they talk about how'd they fix it up. (Alec comes home to Maurice painting his once beige office a pale yellow.) Then they talk about where they would go to school (and Alec pretends to not see Maurice looking through reviews of local schools on his phone while they watch a movie.) They talk about how they would raise a child, which leads to a conversation about their own childhoods (both agree to never use spanking as a punishment.) Finally, Maurice brings up the subject on Halloween night after a little boy dressed as a cowboy comes to their door with his two fathers.

They decide to go the adoption route and after almost a year working through the process, they adopt a four year old boy - Archie - and his 6 month old sister - Winifred ("Winnie"). They agree to an open adoption, and by 2022, they become their legal guardians.

*Just a quick note about the names: I know they're older sounding names. I chose them based off of the 1913 UK census of the most popular names to help blend them into the story. I just felt like it would be weird to have classic names like Maurice and Alec paired with Brandon and Mckeighlynn.*

Both of them go on paternity leave to help the kids get settled into their home and to help Archie get ready to go to school. It's the wildest, weirdest, and best two weeks of their lives.

Alec is so sad when he has to start going back to work, but the first time he comes home and sees Maurice and Archie making dinner together- it's all worth it.

They get in the habit of taking the kids to the park after dinner. Sometimes Maurice will hang back if there's something he didn't get done for work during the day, which happens more often than Maurice would like.

On the weekends, they go to the bigger park near the center of town. It's usually a 20 minute walk and they'll pack a lunch since they're usually there all day.

Final details: Alec is insanely good at clamoring around the play-sets. Maurice jokes that it's because he's the shorter one, but Alec is a pro at running around these structures built for people far shorter than him. Maurice usually hangs out with Winnie at the swings. He's the best at giving those big dad-pushes that'll make you feel like you're flying.

And that's the world building I've sketched out for the AU! Like I said, feel free to correct me on my American-isms or add suggestions.

(Also, I'm trying to be very respectful of adoption. I don't know how different it is in the UK, but in the US it's a very complicated thing to say the least. If you're an adoptee and I said something ignorant please let me know so I can fix it.)

#maurice 1987 #maurice 1914 #maurice hall #alec scudder #maurice

[cookinguptales]

I almost wrote a small essay in the tags of that "fanwork as content" post but realized that it would probably be better off as its own post. So now it's... a large, rambling essay. lmao

Like... to preface, AO3 is great, it's a great resource for fandom, it feels good to have a centralized location that works well. That said, there has been a steady decline in how I've felt treated as an author since we switched to an archive-only model of fic.

For people who are newer to fandom, pre-AO3 (and even in the early days of AO3), people often crossposted fic. Sometimes to websites, sometimes to journals (particularly LJ/DW), sometimes to communities, sometimes to kink memes...

AO3, while certainly one of the primary places you could upload stuff, wasn't necessarily where you would get most of your primary interaction about your fic. It was always designed to be an archive, not a social media site.

But since we moved to an archive model (and away from LJ/DW) I've noticed that fic gets almost no traction on sites that actually are intended for social interaction. I'm not saying it's easy for any creator in fandom, but god. The numbers on fic posts are just downright demoralizing.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I think I'm a pretty good writer. People seem to really connect with my fic. In multiple fandoms, I've written fic that most people have read and enjoyed, to the point where people have just taken it for granted that if someone reads fic in the fandom, they've probably read something I've written.

All this is to say, I know I've written fics that people like. I know I've written fics that people connect with. And I know those posts still only get like 5 notes sometimes on Tumblr.

I'm proud of my work and I'm happy that it's gotten such a warm welcome on AO3!!! But there are times when I feel like all this means that I could write literally the best fic on earth and still no one would talk to me. People still wouldn't want to interact with me on social media sites.

I wrestled for... honestly, a long time with all this. I had a hard time putting into words why this felt so uh. Bad. Was I just self-conscious about my own writing? Yes, but that's a separate issue. Was I just jealous of others' popularity? Sort of, but it went deeper than that.

I had an issue with a fandom that I don't write in anymore. I got a lot of fanart based on my fic, which was great, which was amazing, there were even fan comics made. Visual media travels better on social media than fic. That's just a fact. And I had to watch as repeatedly, art based on the fic I wrote got thousands of notes while my fic got maybe 12. And I realized the power of social media vs. AO3 because it did get to audiences that weren't familiar with my fic and people started to give those artists credit for my ideas.

I remember watching the tags of those posts because it was occasionally the only way I'd hear feedback on what I'd written (imagine getting one comment and 5 notes on a fic, then seeing dozens of people in the tags of fanart saying that it was their favorite fic in the fandom! it was weird!) and seeing the tags gradually devolve into "oh, this is such a neat idea for an AU, artist OP" or "wow this dialogue is perfect [artist] I love it" and like

It's weird to feel so happy because so many people are enjoying your work in a transformative way but also so unhappy because you have been completely removed from the equation. No one... even knows you wrote those things anymore. You have been removed in favor of a more "marketable" version of your work.

It's uh. It's a bad feeling. I stopped writing in that fandom eventually.

So again, I felt like... idk, like there was no point in me even trying. Because I could write the best fic on earth and still somehow get erased as a person. People would want my "content," but they wouldn't want me.

I think that's what hurt my feelings so much.

What I've realized is this: what I miss is the sense of community. On LJ, you could post a fic, cross-post it to a community, and there would be comments that would become conversations that would become lasting friendships. Not always! But often. I still talk to some people daily who I met through fic on LJ over a decade ago.

In the archive model, there has almost become a death of the author. The me on social media and the me on AO3 are very different; more importantly, it's almost like it's viewed as the "me" is on social media, but the work is on AO3. I am absent. There is only the fic, not the person who created it.

And that's okay, but when you try to combine those two things on social media and it goes over like a lead balloon... idk. There's an odd sense of dehumanization. I don't mean it in like... I don't know, a dramatic human rights violation kind of way. More that I literally feel like less of a human person the way I interact with fandom these days. Like I'm no longer a person who writes fic as a way to connect with my fellow fans and more a "content creator" whose human side is separate from my creation and never the twain shall meet.

(And I'll admit it feels especially galling to be forced into the capitalistic "content creator" box when it's not even a thing I can make money off of, lmao. It's like the worst of both worlds. I feel like if I can't make money off fanfic, I should at least be exempt from capitalistic social trends during its creation.)

I'm not so much complaining about my current fandom; WWDITS has actually been one of the best fandoms for interaction I've been in since the birth of AO3. That's one of the reasons I keep writing stories for fellow fans to read -- many of those fans feel like my friends, and I want to make them happy.

I think that poster was right when they talked about how the pivot from fan to "content creator" has fucked up fandom. There is this sense that we should be treating fandom like a job, often a fast-paced one with no pay. There is this idea that we should be separated from our "content" like you might a worker from their product, and blah blah blah alienation of labor, Marx, I get it, but damn if that isn't a shitty thing to do to your fellow fans who are making art for the love of art.

There are so many things I do love about AO3. I like having a central, organized place to put my fic. I like not having to worry about my work being lost to the ages. I like having an organized comments section I can return to on bad days to cheer myself up.

But I don't like the way that fic has kind of been relegated to a portion of fandom where people aren't particularly social. I don't like the way that authors are separated from their writing. I hear people complain sometimes about A/Ns because god forbid an author leave any trace of their actual personality to distract you from their content.

I can't have DMs with someone on AO3. I can't add someone to my friends list. There are no "beloved mutuals." There is just my work and the people who are kind enough to comment on it, even if they never actually engage with me elsewhere.

It's... a weird feeling, to feel so loved and unloved at the same time. Like you keep writing trying to make something good enough that people will talk to you but like. That's really not how it works. lmao. The best fic in the world won't make you friends anymore. It won't make people see you as a fellow fan rather than a pen name under a title.

My fic is some of the most personal stuff in the entire world, but my personhood is stripped away from it. It's so fucking weird. People like my fic, but they don't like me. They remember my stories but not the person who told them. It's bizarre. It feels like having your life and experiences strip-mined for content, and then the rest of it is just... left behind.

Frankly... I work in the publishing industry IRL and I have had opportunities to write professionally. Real, tangible opportunities. But I turned them down because I've seen it, the way that trying to fit such an intensely personal art form into a capitalistic framework can be exhausting, dehumanizing, and stressful. I don't want that for my work. Fandom has always been an escape from that.

But now fandom is starting to conform to those exact same capitalistic frameworks (and ofc without any kind of capitalistic compensation) and I hate to see it. It's so stressful. I feel like we're losing a lot of what makes fandom fun for writers and we're getting pretty much nothing in return. I'm not surprised that so many writer friends I know in fandom have quit.

like damn, I just wanna have fun with a bunch of dumbshits who love to overanalyze vampires and cry over their dumbshit shenanigans, not take on a second job. one that, I reiterate, I am not being paid for.

(Note: I am not asking for payment, just that I not be treated like a worker. The tradeoff for treating someone like a worker is that they get compensated for it. If I'm not being compensated, no one gets to treat me like this is my fucking job.)

It's a weird thing, because for a lot of people, fandom has become their job. Fanartists at cons selling fanart, youtube essayists making money off videos, professional cosplayers with sponsorships, etc. And so fandom is becoming more corporate, more capitalistic, more marketable. It's frustrating for those who don't want to capitalize on our fannish output, and doubly frustrating for people who are legally unable to do so.

I'm realizing as I write this that I'm most upset about the nonconsensual capitalization of fandom, particularly when imposed on people who are unable to access the very meager benefits of capitalism. I didn't ask for any of this!

Feels like when I'd be forced to go to assemblies for the US military when I was in high school. Like I'm morally opposed to all this but I'm also not physically fit for "service" anyway, so it's doubly insulting. I feel like I've been opted into the, ah, corporatization of fandom when I'm not even eligible for employee benefits. None of this should even apply to me! ;;

Okay!! I'm all het up now so I'm gonna go eat lunch and go for a walk! No monetization of hobbies, only trees.

#I need to go look at a tree lmao #just me #vent post #ask to tag idrk

[ateezmakemeweep]

Hello Girlie..... I know you got this ask already and the anon was high but I wanna be a bit serious.....

Why are you starting fics that aren't finished yet? You might not realize it but it causes many of us unwanted anxiety and stress, but most people here are just too nice to say it.

I am a writer as well. Not on this platform but on others. And I NEVER posted any fic that wasn't finished, because I know how much anxiety it causes me when I read the fic LOVE IT TO DEATH and suddenly it's discontinued or haven't been updated in months.

I always write the entire fic first and then start to upload it weekly so my readers wouldn't get these negative feelings.

I am not saying you should do the same but I think you should stick to that one fic and finish it. I know I am gonna get backlash for this but I am only saying it because you're the best writer I've ever came across.... I read ALL OF YOUR FICS several times and love them to death, your writing style would sweep game of thrones under the rug. You're literally perfect and I love each of your works like if they would be my babies. In fact you're the one who got me into writing and I am forever thankful to you for that.

But please for the love of God finish Love is Gone...... It's my favorite fic from you till now and I am literally having panic attacks for two months since you haven't touched since then. Please I ever considered paying you just if you would finish it..... I love it so much it's killing me that it isn't finished.... It's truly a crime..... 😭😭😭😭😭

lmao i wanted to 2 bitch u out but simply couldn't bc of the flattery <3 now do not get me wrong, i 10000% understand ur point as someone who's more of a reader than writer and feels the same type of anxiety y'all do when someone doesn't update a story but at the same time, u also have to be fr (bffr, if u will) telling an "author" (bc i do this shit for fun and FOR FREE) that they're causing you stress and anxiety over a work of fiction when i'm not mentally capable enough to write a story on days where its a miracle if i brush my teeth lmao so, no, love is gone is not my top priority rn!! journal, deep breathe, do what you girls gotta do but i promise you it'll b okay and the story will b updated when my brain chemistry is back 2 normal <3 if it helps, i can post the notes so you'll c whats coming bc its fully planned but thats ab it

#💌

[tcfactory]

I need to straighten out my tags, but if people haven't noticed yet: hi, I'm falling pretty hard into a danmei rabbit hole.

Still loving ffxiv! Never abandoning those blorbos, they give me so much joy you wouldn't believe it. But most of my faves have been phased out of the MSQ (don't get me to start talking about Zenos because I'm still angry about how he was handled), I have mixed feelings about EW (the emotional beats hit, for the most part, but when I got thinking about it, some parts of the story really didn't work well for me, especially gestures at everything Hydaelyn and her bullshit) and right now we are facing like a half-year content drought so like...

...yeah. Interests wander. And I want to be more active about posting stuff. Maybe ramble once in a while. Share ideas that I don't have the spoons to write right now, maybe they end up inspiring someone or just entertain them in case I ever get around to writing them. That sort of thing.

I have some interest in BG3 stuff too, but my interests there are like. 300% tied up in this very self-indulgent reincarnation into time travel fix-it AU Emperor/Ansur fic I'm working on and the fandom as a whole really didn't endear itself to me, so I probably not going to make much noise about that save for reblogging some art. Idk

Anyway, I'm kind of rereading SVSSS because it's one of the few books I have on my e-reader, so it's perfect to read in-between classes and I got infected with all the brainrot - QiJiu, MoShang, I would sell Tianlang Jun for a cornchip and listen to him whine about it for the next century, that sort of thing. I'm still warming up to Bingmei, currently kinda lukewarm on the guy. I have a kind of embarrassingly long outline for a potential fic I might share if I ever work up the courage to it, it has literally everyone in it shadjfjsahfgds.

And I really need to read Devil Venerable again. And yell about it. And maybe draw for it, like a lot. I heard before I picked it up that Cyan Wings writes really good funny books and like, hell yes, 200% can confirm. Also this is the most ace xianxia novel I have read - admittedly haven't read that many yet, but still, damn, hats off to the author. Peak "Wtf is this romance shit?" "Idk, but you can't stab it so it's not my problem." vibes. Someone please give Zhongli Qian a raise, my guy is doing so much work to be the one sane, rational person in this mess.

#ooc

[esta-elavaris]

Hiiiii! I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA for a while. This definitely doesn’t mean I’ve stopped reading the incredible fic that is FTT!! I FINALLY had the chance to sit down and go through all my backlog of James/Theo goodness which has had me literally living my best life. I swear I love these two dorks with all my heart: the ball and James’ continued analysis of Theo’s character, how he continues to try to find reasons to dislike her but the more he tried the more curious and drawn to her he is.

The LIBRARY SCENE I SWEAR THAT WHOLE THING IS LIKE SO PERFECT I WAS IN LOVE WITH THE WHOLE THINGGGGG. I mean BOOKS 😭😭😭😭. Books as courting tools is my kink I swear. I mean not that they are courting or anything but the undeniable undertones of attraction are there and I am so here for it.

Also, James without a wig, in a *scandalous* state of relaxation, yes please. Then them pining for one another when they don’t yet know that they are pining for each other is so precious, all

under the guise of yeah sure he’s being nice because he wants to catch her unawares. And seriously, have I said it before? COURTING THROUGH BOOKS AND BEING ADORABLE BOOK NERDS BE STILL MY HEART 😭😭😭😭😭

And Elizabeth just being all matchmakey I seriously love how you write her and her friendship with Theo is the best (I know I always say this, but IT BEARS REPEATING!). I really liked how you hinted at Theo’s plans to return home and how she might be feeling some guilt over it because of, potentially, how that might affect Elizabeth, and I cannot wait to see how that all plays out in future chapters.

Also, I don’t know if I’ve told you before, but I seriously love your attention to detail in the way you write, beyond the plot, I mean. I love how when you’re writing from Theo’s pov the language is much more modern and you include all these references to technology etc., and when you write from any other character’s pov you adjust the language accordingly. I’m sorry if this is a really dumb comment on my part but I always notice this and I find it makes reading your story all the more enjoyable, and all the easier to become immersed in each scene. Seriously, I cannot fangirl enough. This story, and the way you write these characters, are amazing and your updates never fail to brighten my days!

As thanks for your tireless service to the community lol here’s a gif of our man being all adorable, which coincidentally is also a graphic representation of me sitting down to read your new updates 😌

HELLO 💜 first off I'm very sorry for how stupidly long it took me to reply to this -- but while it waited in my ask box, I read it several times across the last week and it made me smile like an idiot every single time, so it truly was the gift that keeps on giving.

Secondly, there is absolutely less than no need to apologise to me - life happens, I understand, the stories will always be waiting here when you're able to get to them! I'm glad the backlog was able to provide a wee bit of entertainment 🥰

Someone pointed out to me recently that books as courting tools is a recurring theme in my fics and it was not intentional but I'm not mad about it 💀 the heart wants what it wants. I do think Theo would be such a good chance for James to sit and discuss books with in like, a serious way because I don't think he'd have a chance to do much of that with a woman? Not because she's ✨not like other girls✨ and that the ladies already there wouldn't be up to it (Elizabeth is super sharp, we see her read in the first movie, and she won't be the only woman with a brain in Port Royal), but because she doesn't have that same social conditioning that might inhibit the women already there in a discussion?

Like we see a bit of how Elizabeth isn't totally herself around James the same way she is with Will, mostly in the first movie - she reverts into polite proper lady mode and smiles and nods and does what is expected of her, and I just don't think it would be approved of in that time/setting if a woman was to sit and properly debate a book with a man, for fear that it would be unladylike or off-putting. Theo is fine with being unladylike and off-putting, usually. Meanwhile James is like 😍 yes queen debate Marcus Aurelius with me xoxo

Plus, she's had a bit of a rougher life than most ladies there (albeit not as rough as James speculates) so she'd be able to apply that to the philosophy books that they're exchanging, rather than debating it purely theoretically, and I think it would have James discovering a whole new kink (the lesser known Aladdin song).

Hhhh okay that rant got out of hand, I do apologise! I'm loving the focus on Elizabeth and Theo's friendship, too - I feel like they're able to get so much closer in this version of events because Theo doesn't need to be half so guarded with her as she did in the OG fic.

RE: the differing character voices depending on the POV thing -- thank you so much 😭 I do make a big effort with that, I like to joke that James' perspective is just my old academic essay voice dressed up in a trenchcoat (or, er, a powdered wig) it's not a dumb comment at all, I'm thrilled that it doesn't go unnoticed! It's also just so fun to have James being all like "ah, yes, that inexplicable turn of events would truly be a calamity" then we jump to our leading lady and she's like "oh for fuck's sake" -- they're meant for each other, truly.

Again, thank you so much!! 💜💜💜 Life is A Lot this month and this was just a shining beam of glorious golden light in the middle of it and I'm very very grateful. So grateful I could almost respond with a dissertation. Oh wait, looks like I did 👉🏻😎👉🏻

#asks #dissertation!lucy strikes again #FTT #james/theodora

[camp-mithril-lake]

I finally had a Tarnma idea I might actually write. Most of them never go anywhere but this one is a mostly complete concept with beginning, middle, and end not just a few scenes.

It fudges the timeline a bit to have Tyrest occur before Pharma is pushed the final time that leads to Red Rust with some new flacoring of characters. He is still "famously Forged" and his location easily accessible in Autobot records as his posting isn't secret. Tyrest and Star Saber go to retrieve him, his consent not being a needed component. Tyrest does decide to wait until he is alone to do so.

The perfect time being when he has left Delphi to meet with Tarn for a delivery with the T-Cogs. The opener is literally Pharma freezing, and seeing a shadow of a larger mech in the approaching snow and slowly realizing it is not Tarn approaching or any of his team.

Then it immediately switches to an annoyed Tarn arriving at the meeting place to see Pharma absent and is ready to raise hell but notices a blinking through the powdering of snow and finds an online but uncalled comm unit that is Pharma's. This leads him to find a thrown open box of T-Cogs smeared lightly with Energon from the outside. It isn't immediately obvious with the fresh snow, but it is clear Pharma was met with someone unexpected, and there was some struggle before he was taken.

Tarn thinks that their deal may have been revealed and Pharma ambushed by his own, but that wouldn't make sense to leave valuable supplies behind. And if the Autobots were aware, then catching him relatively vulnerable would be more of a coup than Pharma who could have easily been snatched from Delphi without such a struggle.

Later, listening in on the Delphi frequencies it shows that Pharma has been listed as missing and that search parties are being sent out. Tarn feels a certain kind of way about this and prepares to investigate. He feels it is likely connected to him, and Pharma does know some that could potentially be risky, though nothing that would amount to a real leak. Plus, it feels like a slight for someone to be able to snatch his doctor unpunished. But then he gets a read on Black Shadow's signature, and that comes first.

Pharma eventually does make contact with Tarn, rushed and stranged over a quick message on the line he so rarely used. Kaon notes it is sent so quickly to avoid the time needed to be detected on a secure network. This intrigues Tarn as does the information attached. It is Overlord’s location and proof with a dated recording of his Spark signature. This is to lure him and his team to deal with Tyrest.

It last ditch effort by Pharma who is clinging to the need to do one thing right, desire to fuck over Tyrest/Overlord, a bit a vengeance, and certainty he won't survive long once Tyrest loses interests and "gifts" him to Overlord.

He attempted to contact the Autobots, but Prowl was currently possessed by Bombshell, and he was summarily dismissed, mocked, and told that it appears he was in good health after all befofe being hung up on. And he has to stop before he gets caught. He calculates that the DJD are the ones he can lure in the easiest and are the most likely to accept and respond to a message. Upon arrival, they are also the most likely to willingly take on Tyrest, given his very Functionist views and semi-alliance with Overlord, who was initially taken to experiment on One Percenter Sparks. If Pharma is lucky, he can escape on one of the ships there, and they'll kill each other.

I have a ton of ideas about backstory, a fun one I made for this fic that actually ties Pharma, Overlord, and Forestock together. As well as how Dai Atlus may have known some of Shockwave's Outliers, including Damus.

#tarnma #the djd and pharma save the universe

[buddyaldridge]

kicking in the fucking door at the apocalyptic trumpet blast katsignal that is your reblog of the "send me a character" meme with the whole greek squad: tyndareus, hippodamia, agamemnon, tydeus, my beloved diomedes tydides, and the one, the only helen tyndaridas.

tyndareus

First impression — it's been so long but i think it was curiosity

Impression now — someone give that man some chalk, some milk and tuck him in. he is so stressed.

Favorite moment — i like it whenever he establishes rapport with pony and whenever he tells texas to fuck off.

Idea for a story — 70s era fic with him hanging out with helen and pony all day

Unpopular opinion — i don't have one!

Favorite relationship — tyn and atreus and tyn and helen are jockeying for first

Favorite headcanon — literally, omega4omega but texas is the singular exception and he kinda regrets that at times

hippodamia

First impression — the first time she came up i felt sad, esp bc at that point, pelops and her weren't a real even relationship and one where he was closeted

Impression now — i love ehr so muuucchhhhhh

Favorite moment — possessing helen to stab paris when he hurt pony

Idea for a story — i would really love to write a fic of her and pelops at some point, or something where she was able to meet pony while alive

Unpopular opinion — i have none

Favorite relationship — her and all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren

Favorite headcanon — mene + pony have her hair type for the most part and wear it similarly lengthed at different points; she liked jennifer immediately and could tell she was The One; she was way more impulsive in life than what she is in death

aga

First impression — i envisioned the entirely wrong man at first so he was also super old to me on accident

Impression now — insane drip, garbage personality

Favorite moment — any time pony decides to square up with him and also any time mene tells him to go fuck himself

Idea for a story — i wouldn't write it but i would read the comedy of aga being annoyed with a new sibling

Unpopular opinion — hm. i don't think i have any?

Favorite relationship — him and mene being super toxic is fun for what it can force pony to do

Favorite headcanon — in sacramento aus, he's having a really good time and is kinda happy he got what he wanted. but has no idea orestes is going to kill him and when he can't get mene or helen, would go after pony

tydeus

First impression — who's he?

Impression now — SOBBING I LOVE HIM. HE'S JUST A GUY! AN OLD GUY! AND HIS SON!

Favorite moment — taking in molly

Idea for a story — i would like 5k of tydeus and dio and molly, 80s movie style. mene and pony can cameo.

Unpopular opinion — zero

Favorite relationship — him and dio, him and molly

Favorite headcanon — he knew all along about the cenzo and atreus relationship conflict before either realized what was going on

dio

First impression — i have got to make this guy the most fun guy ever

Impression now — he's some guy and he's perfect

Favorite moment — literally anytime he's roasting mene or hanging out with him. and when he made pony dinosaur mac and cheese even though it was hurting his spirit

Idea for a story — him and molly getting together and all the awkwardness initially involved. or something in podverse.

Unpopular opinion — it's equally funny to have him with ace but not as much depth.

Favorite relationship — him and tydeus tugs at the delicate strings of my heart

Favorite headcanon — could not be happier to mostly be a stay at home dad for his kids first few years of life

helen

First impression — me, watching troy way back when: nice dress but she's boring :(

Impression now — i love her and i will stab on sight if anyone thinks her and paris are meant to be together

Favorite moment — too many to choose from but her releasing a pigeon inside is an all timer

Idea for a story — my id is always calling to me about helen finding out about pony being with her very divorced brother

Unpopular opinion — paris/helen is evil

Favorite relationship — pony and helen bffs forever

Favorite headcanon — her and pony having the same height sometimes makes me all happy

#asks #ask games #kalonkakons

[irregularcollapse]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @ilgaksu <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

3! lmao

Once upon a time, it was more. I'm not sure how many, though.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

237,233 - and most of that is one fic.

What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment, apparently I'm writing for Captive Prince.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Well I've only got 3 ;)))

So, ranked:

even in another time (Damen/Laurent - Captive Prince) On holiday with his brother in Ios, Laurent bathes in a hot spring. Unfortunately, he drowns. Even more unfortunately, when he surfaces somehow, he finds himself thrust back in time. Dropped into the middle of a mythologised ancient war for the Akielon throne, he is determined to get back to the modern day - even after ending up kidnapped (or perhaps rescued) by the rightful King, Damianos.

there is no end (Damen/Laurent - Captive Prince) After the events of even in another time, Laurent and Damen take the opportunity to go on a trip—a honeymoon of sorts—to the modern world. Brothers are met, books are launched, and another first is experienced.

in the crooks of your body, i find my religion (Adam/Ronan - The Dreamer Trilogy) Under the watchful eye of a nosy bartender, Ronan Lynch has a first date with Adam Parrish. It isn't exactly what he had been expecting.

I know what WOULD be my highest kudos, if I still had all my fic on AO3. But I don't, so this is how it is hahaha

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

This is where my answer is the complete opposite to ilgaksu's, almost. I used to be a lot better at it. I would really try to write something in response to every comment, even on multichap fics. But my life has changed, and my health has changed, and sometimes it isn't always feasible. I find the AO3 inbox sort of unwieldy and it's hard for me to navigate sometimes. I find it much easier to respond to asks on tumblr, which is why I also try to encourage readers to find me here too. Fic writing can feel sort of one-sided and demanding at times, especially when you've put many hours of work and thought into something and people just... absorb it, and don't even say thanks.

I personally don't read fic much (I'm a hypocrite, I know) but on the rare occasion I'm in the mood for it, I try to leave a comment. And I do really try to respond to, if not every individual comment, then every commenter in some capacity.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write angsty endings. I have previously done oneshots with purposefully open/unresolved endings, but I wouldn't consider those angsty.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Without a doubt even in another time. Even comparing to my old fics, which all had pretty joyful romcom endings on the whole, this one is like... epic happy ending. Just everything about claiming yourself as a person, recognising your own strengths, finding your destiny, eternal love... it had it all!

Do you get hate on fics?

Nah. I've had some comments that were like, proofreading/editing suggestions. Once someone literally commented like "you really need to proofread before you post" lmao it was some meaningless oneshot, I was like, I'm literally not here for perfection right now. Sometimes it's a genuinely helpful correction (factual error, a glaring mistake) in which case, have at it, but mostly I don't want it and it can actually be quite hurtful. BUT I wouldn't consider that hate, just sort of... well-intentioned but still unwanted overstepping.

I did receive an anonymous comment that told me to stop posting forever and disappear, with a strong suggestion that I should just die. That was actually unrelated to my fics, and was motivated by some of my posts on tumblr getting popular in fandom and some people getting really upset with me. Rather than asking me to clarify my points (which they had misinterpreted), or just blocking me, they made posts about me and sent me some quite harassing anons on here, and left that really horrible comment on one of my most popular fics. So I deleted them all, and deleted all content from that fandom from my blog, and didn't write fic (or anything at all) for a really long time. I don't get actively involved with fandom because of that experience. It certainly wasn't unique to that particular fandom - I see it happening now, and even worse - but it really fucked me up. I still have a hard time enjoying the source material it was related to, and I really don't like talking about those fics or that fandom.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. I didn't in the past, and when I did it was sort of... ambiguous, fade-to-black type stuff, because that was what I thought fit those fandoms or what I was writing (mostly romcoms) in a tonal sense. But now I'm writing for CaPri, which is historical erotic romance, so I'm unleashing it all. Really leaning into something I like to call "character development through erotica" lmao

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope! They don't really interest me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. However, I am aware that there is a downloaded copy of one of my old popular fics being circulated without my permission. It made me very uncomfortable when I found out. I wish they had asked me first. But I've decided to be super I do not see it. I can't read suddenly about it all.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not that I know of! I'm so open to it though <3

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Controversial but I think my favourite ships are the ones I love so much that I'm too scared to write them. I tried writing some Eve/Villanelle and it just didn't feel correct. I would do SUCH a shit job of writing Buffy/Faith. There are more and I'm so intimidated by people who do them well.

What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I actually don't not finish fics lmaoooo

So even on my previous AO3 account, I always finished a multichap fic. And now, my new approach is to finish writing before posting (or almost finish writing before posting). [hoards of fic writers booing in the distance]

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. Humour. Character voice. Awareness of tone, extending into genre awareness.

What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOTTING. PACING. Fuck me I just have no perspective on the passage of time more often than not. Describing action/movement. Consistency (my memory is not the best sometimes, so I easily forget details between scenes, but that's solved by an astute beta and solid proofreading/editing). OVER EXPLANATION.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Hmmm I don't know. On the fence. It probably depends on the context, if the POV character speaks the language, what the purpose of the other language is, etc. etc.

First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was The Raven Cycle, and then Captain America, and then the bulk of my stuff was for a webcomic/graphic novel.

Favorite fic you’ve written?

It has to be EIAT, without question. It was my first time writing in a sustained way since around 2019 (due to illness and then treatment), and came to represent a recovery at long last from residual chemo brain. Even if it weren't indulgent, and even if I wasn't proud of the writing (baby's first fantasy work! With world-building! And a bona fide plot!), it would still be my favourite for that reason alone. But I think it's going to be usurped by my current WIP, a gothic romance AU (also partially inspired by Crimson Peak! And other stuff, but yesss Crimson Peak!) in which I am including everything I love about gothic fiction, and then some.

I'll tag @altruistic-meme and @castironnbitch and @annundriel (hello beloved mutual who I don't share fandoms with any more hahahaha)

#my writing #asks

[elegyofthemoon]

MORE GUSH PASS FOR YOU BC YOU'VE BEEN ENJOYING THEM SO MUCH AND I'VE BEEN ENJOYING READING THEM!!! 🎟️🎟️🎟️

also thank u for ur tags on the kylilah wedding fic i'm ;A; waAaAaAAAA meliora crying.png ilysm

TY I LOVE YOU and i love abusing these gush passes so much when i'm like "i need to write a whole essay right now to express my feelings or i will set myself on fire" so guess what you're about to get.

But anyhows~ of course!! ^7^ kylilah wedding fic was just so cute how could I resist reading all of it and commenting? the writing was just so beautiful and so perfect ;; v;;

I accidentally went off to Sophia about Birthright!Leo specifically and yes, sure, I haven't touched Fates in a while (last time I did I'm pretty sure it was for. March? OR FOR LEO'S BIRTHDAY ACTUALLY.), and I genuinely thought I forgot everything tbh because of fixation on coughs Other Matters coughs but talking to Sophia and watching myself slip a bunch of thoughts made me go "ohhhh oh no you're still insane about Fates and Leo specifically... cool cool cool cool-"

Something that'll always come to mind when it comes to Leo is just how much internal conflict the guy must have with feeling like he has to Fit A Specific Function to matter to anyone but also wanting to have someone to talk to - someone who wouldn't put him down for being "weak." And when the "fitting a specific function" is the "reliable one" or the "strong one", then it becomes hard to really allow himself a chance to really allow himself to be vulnerable. He basically creates his own issues this way and it sucks more because I feel like this only gets worse for Birthright!Leo who later becomes king and now the whole country's relying on him. Like how does that play out for a guy with his whole complex exactly?

There was a "work in progress" fic that I had wanted to write that basically was supposed to be a snapshot of his life growing up, following after him and this Need to be Needed, coming from his time with his mom and the way I thought about how she must have raised him and how that plays into who he is today, but I think that fic got shot up in flames due to New Knowledge Acquired That Made Me Want To Stab the Fic With a Knife. normal. real normal snow. Which I will not get into because I actually didn't finish the whole context because I was just eheh~ a littleeee~ mad but that's fine lmao we're fine lolololol we're totally cool 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼(sobbing on the floor)

He's very fun to write for this reason though. Finding ways to balance out between this internal struggle at a given situation makes him very very attractive to write lol At least I try my best to do so anyhow haha I don't necessarily feel that my writing does him a disservice, but I do feel like it borders between weighing in too much into certain aspects of his character instead of holding the true weight he has, but that's a conflict I'm willing to put up with if it means getting to explore his character a little more in my head lmao

And sorry to track back, but I also think a lot about like. the affection with his family. I think a lot about how in his support with Corrin and Camilla, he expresses how much he wished to have the same attention that Corrin does; he just isn't sure how to do it unless the emotions were bubbling from his mouth and he speaks at a breaking point, to which he'll try to mend it with a "Apologies. That was unlike me. Anyways-" and tries to move onto something else LITERALLY JUST TALK DUDE!!!!!! COMMUNICATE WHAT YOU NEED!!!!!!!!!!

But he doesn't. He doesn't because time's told him that if he voices his own weakness he will get punished for it. It's something that I had contemplated specifically about how he was raised by his mom, and only to find out that that is also something he was raised to believe within the royal family (via the voice drama that I had to actually stop watching because I was just sad). He can't allow himself to be weak because he is always expected to be strong.

And for that reason, the name "Leo" is very fitting for him, I think. There's a really really good fanartist's comic on his name and it definitely contributed to the way I appreciate his naming and temporarily served as inspiration for the way I was going to take the fic, but you know. Didn't go anywhere.

I also just wish he knew he was loved. It's very clear his family loves him, but the way he was raised misconstrues this "love" for "shame". Yes we all tease Leo because he's so strict on himself and it's nice to see him have little flaws here and there. We poke fun at it and all, but how does that feel for Leo who's probably had his flaws shamed most if not all his life? It's the reason why he's so strict on himself after all, and they wonder why it is he's so strict on himself.

Anyways. Long story short, and quite the winding road, I love Leo's character a lot. I kinda forgot how much I did until Sophia and my conversation kinda wandered over to Fates talk and then Leo and I had to sit down and cry for like. Several paragraphs apparently about it

And the thing is, I'm not exactly sure if this is all intentional writing or if I just fixated so hard and made stuff up that this is the version that makes the most sense to me for his character. At the very least, all of this serves as the backbone to the way I write him. And as I said: it's very fun :)

But anyways, TY for the ask

#anyways this is all stream of conscious by the way. theres no structure to this i just let myself maul the ask #because i couldn't hold myself back #now imagine if i had the confidence to talk about current interests bro. if i had that confidence i would become God :) #but no~ alas the heavens have nerfed me with social anxiety #it is only when i'm REALLY feeling it that i have little moments of slipping into godhood weehee 🤭🤭 #answered #sowwy friend ik u rb my gushes but not this one im scared LOL #tullaytullahs #i need to find a way to save this for myself too #mostly so i can go back and look at it and go 'sir what the fuck are you talking about'

[bi-bats]

11, 14, 39, 55, and 67 for the ask list?

(manifesting that zeus transcends his mortal state and becomes physically invincible btw, hope things get better <3)

Jpeg my BELOVED HELLO 💖💚💕 your wishes were well received by both me and the Zeus, who is currently batting my feet for food and hasn't puked in three days and has been finishing all of his foods! I appreciate the positivity from you and from everyone, and brb gonna go feed him

okay I'm back and here we go!!!

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Reading Him by @chipmunkery - yes AGAIN OKAY EVERYONE READ IT I'M LITERALLY BEGGING YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT I KNOW JAYBART IS NOT AN OBVIOUS SHIP BUT PLEASE JUST TRUST ME IT WORKS ALSO I GIGGLE ABOUT ONE OF THE LINES LIKE. 5 TIMES A DAY IT'S SO GOOD AND JPEG YOU SPECIFICALLY WILL LOVE THE BART REP IN THIS I PROMISE!!

The Detente series by MsSolo - I binge read like more than half of this entire series in one day and then I had to take a break because Damian and Tim and the DamiTim in this is so deeply unwell that it was making ME unwell okay I had to pause because it was ruining me and I really really want to finish it because I can't stop thinking about it, it has so so so many lines that just fucking HIT and they hit ME IN A DEEPLY PERSONAL WAY BUT IT'S SO GOOD I HAVE TO FINISH IT AKSDJFLAKJDFKSL (also honorary mention to their fic People Ruin Beautiful Things, if you can handle Ra's/Tim you should read that but lemme tell you if you think Tim is unwell in Detente?? Woof. Like. Trigger warning on Tim in the Ra's/Tim one. He is beyond deeply unwell in this)

Revelations and Heartbreaks by Xavierurban (@atasteforsuicidal) - okay yeah it's jaytim smut BUT it's also incredibly beautiful in the way that it's written and the exploration of trust in their relationship and also the two of them and their devotion to each other is just *mwah* literally perfect, it makes me auruhahruahrgargagrgarhaurarhuahruahr I think about this fic so often. Read it 💖

14. how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I start with a clear idea of the conversation at the beginning and where the conversation is going to progress the story, and where each character is at emotionally. Then I have a few moments of inspiration on dialogue that I know I need somewhere in the scene, and then I start moving through the scene in order. I start working through the emotional shifts, I let the feelings grow or shrink or snap into place, and I usually am guided by what each character wants. It's always important to me that I know what each character feels at the start of the scene, what they want, and what they're afraid of.

I wouldn't say I feel what they feel exactly. I put myself in their shoes and think about what they're feeling, and I feel for them, but I don't actually feel upset if they're upset, etc. I definitely draw from personal experience sometimes, but not always. I do it the most with Tim for sure!

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

Smut? Smut snippet? Smut snippet for Jpeg?

“You liked when I said you were good, didn’t you?” A breathy moan is the only answer he can give. “You just want someone to take the reins for a little bit, huh? Just make everything else go away.”

(from the DamiTim fic ofc)

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Okay, for the last two years I definitely would have said Tim because he just comes so naturally to me and people really respond so kindly to the way I write him, but currently my favorite is definitely Damian. There is something about writing him specifically for me that lets me access a very poetic voice that I just wouldn't use when it comes to Tim or Jason, and I really love the way his voice comes out when I write it.

Also maybe I just need a little break from writing Tim since I've posted over 200k words from his perspective in the last yearish okay

67. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

I actually don't really have a preference!! I preferred prompts when I didn't have any ideas and was worried I would never have anything to write ever again after Rooftops & Bookshops, and then. well. you saw the ask where I listed my wips the other day right? lol yeah now I don't prefer one over the other!

Thank you for the ask bestie 💖💖💖💖

#📷 jpeg #batsasks #please don't ask me how many times I've visited revelations and heartaches on ao3 #it's too many #batwrites #reverse robins au damitim flavor

[andysorbit]

Hey Andy!! I have been following your acc for a couple of months and I love your work. Your hyuck fics are literal perfection. Do you have any advice or tips you can give? I'm trying to write fics to but I cant seem to write them as well as you do. <3

hi hi!!!

I think the best advice I can give is to show don't tell which is something I struggle with a LOT but it really adds glitter to your work

also indulge tf out of yourself. like requests are fun and challenging yourself is great but indulge yourself any chance you get. I find that writers who indulge themselves usually cook tf out of what they're writing like??? that shit be fire. the fic is broccoli which is great but the indulgence is fkn garlic and butter sauce for the broccoli. COVER THAT SHIT WITH GARLIC AND BUTTER SAUCE!!! NOBODY IS GONNA REJECT THAT. most of the time your indulgence is someone else's indulgence and you're feeding them while feeding youself.

be realistic to a certain extent like I don't mean realistic with love because I love writing these men from a very unrealistic standpoint like yeah I know all men aren't shitty but I've never been with a man that didn't make me wanna scalp myself for accepting fake love and bullshit wrapped in pink cellophane and passed off as flowers but instead be realistic with feelings and also with sex like sex is messy and life is mundane so write about something that wouldn't necessarily be very interesting because you might not think it matters but it does

like I always have my characters take their shoes off at the door, wash their hands, and change into house clothes when they come home because that's something that I do and I think that's something that can build on the moment because while your character is washing their hands, a lot can happen around that. is MC (main character) washing her hands and chatting about where she's coming back from with her boyfriend? (we'll use Changmin as our boyfriend for this) does she hear him cursing about something from another room? what is he up to and is MC amused or is she annoyed because he never went grocery shopping and now there's nothing for dinner? does MC have an apartment or a house? an apartment okay does the apartment have a balcony? yes okay is he out on the balcony having a smoke and you can see him from the corner of your eye? can you smell his cigarette smoke? why is he smoking outside? oh you don't like the smell of smoke? okay so now we know why Changmin is outside smoking. do you smell the smoke? did he close the door or did he leave it open?

see? you can build a lot off of one mundane choice. every time. I also think it's good to sometimes stop and ask yourself "why?" and the answer doesn't have to always be good. but like sometimes asking yourself that "why" will help you build on something a lot better or even cause you to take something out of the story or it can make your character more relatable.

okay we're gonna use Changmin again for this. so let's say Changmin is MC's cubicle neighbor. she likes him. why? he's tall, he's a no nonsense guy, and he minds his business. why does she like the fact that he's tall? now when height is mentioned, I like to keep things vague because yes, Changmin is tall but is the reader tall too? it's easy to conclude that MC likes Changmin because he's tall and she's so short and petite that he dwarfs her but what if your reader is 5'11 and curvy? short and chubby? 6'1 and stocky? see? if you take the "MC is short and petite route, you may have kicked the stool from under a lot of readers. so again why does MC like Changmin? oh yes he's tall so what can you say about his height that will make every reader regardless of their height and build nod and go "ah yes" instead of feeling like crap because they're reading a reader insert story that isn't very reader insert at all. so he looks really good in his work clothes because his build is nice. why else does MC like him? he minds his business. why does he mind his business? is he pretending to mind his business because he's actually the most manipulative little shit in the office and that "no nonsense" persona is just a power flex because he knows nobody's going to challenge him because he has the power to get everyone fired? is he nice to MC? why? is he trying to find her weaknesses? does he genuinely like her?

you can ask why for just about any reason or for any character whether they play a big role or a small role.

I'm rambling but I wanna circle back to being vague. I know it's a contradiction to be vague about character descriptions but also self indulge and there's a happy medium. like if it's reader insert you can make stories that are specific, body type, hair length, skin tone but please say that in the warnings. because yeah short readers would love to read about getting tossed around, dark skinned readers would love to have Changmin notice the things about them that show that they're flustered because they're not capable of showing blush on their skin, chubby readers would like to be led to the bedroom because maybe they don't want/think Changmin could carry them. it can also be funny stuff too like with hair pulling, did Changmin accidentally pull MC's wig off and that's something they still laugh about? so yeah you don't always have to be vague but let your readers know upfront.

but honestly just go fkn crazy and have fun. fanfics are supposed to be fun and you can put a message in there too. like you can randomly decide that MC and Changmin are gonna drag fic readers who refuse to reblog content or writers who say they write for everyone but have never written a story that doesn't involve being fair-skinned, soft-haired, and skinny. see? you can do whatever you want and come up with something great.

tag me in your work! I'd love to read and encourage you!!

also thank you for letting me ramble and thank you for seeing me as someone you trust enough to give you some creative input 🤍🤍

#andy's mail #writing advice? idk this is word vomit mostly #YOU CAN DO IT!!!