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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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If I Fell For You (Part 14) - Keep Close

Summary: The Ackles have the Padalecki’s over for dinner and let it slip that they’re engaged. Things seem to be going well but the anniversary of the accident is coming up and the reader comes up with the Ackles taking their first vacation together as a means of distracting Jensen as well reconnecting with Ray...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of sex, mention of a dead parent/spouse, anxiety

A/N: Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

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“I’m stuffed,” said Jensen that night, the kids running around playing soccer in the yard after dinner.

“I need that chicken recipe,” said Jared.

“I’ll write it down for you guys,” you said, sitting back in your chair. “You can do it with breast too if you like that better.”

“I want exactly this like, everyday from now on,” said Jared. Gen rolled her eyes and Jensen pulled out his phone. “Want me to take a pic?”

“I don’t need your freakishly long arms just yet,” chuckled Jensen. He turned around and took one of the four of you at the table before handing off his phone. “Mind getting one of us?”

“Your mom harassing you for engagement photos already?” asked Gen.

“By the time we were leaving they were both asking for photos and being obnoxious. Better than they were though,” said Jensen, smiling beside you. Jared took a few more and handed the phone back.

“I still can’t believe your parents would act like that,” said Gen. “I mean obviously I’m super happy it got fixed but that’s so unlike them.”

“They made a mistake is all,” you said with a smile. “I don’t know about you guys but I’m going to finish this beer in the pool.”

“I think I’ll join you,” said Jared. He stood up and had a look on his face you caught too late. Before you knew it he had you picked up and was jogging over to the deep end and jumping in with you.

“Jared!” you said when you popped up. He giggled and swam off to the shallow end. “After I helped pick up the plates ya big lug.”

“We got it,” said Jensen, carrying over two beer cans and handing them to you. “We’ll join you guys in a few.”

About ten minutes later Jensen was leaning against the side of the pool in his bright red swim trunks, handing you the other half of his cookie cake piece.

“So any big plans for the wedding?” asked Jared, sat on the pool steps with Gen.

“I have a thought,” you said, turning to Jensen. “I haven’t discussed it with Jensen yet.”

“Vegas. Shotgun wedding,” he laughed. You shook your head and he grinned. “You’re thinking the farm, aren’t you.”

“What do you think? It could be outdoor or indoor, whatever it needs to be depending on the weather.”

“I’d love that,” he said, giving you a squeeze. “That’d be perfect for us.”

“You own a farm?” asked Jared.

“Yeah, ten minutes from the brewery.”

“Dudes. You can open bar with your own beer. Oh and dibs on being a groomsmen.”

“Like that wasn’t gonna happen,” said Jensen.

“I don’t know on that,” you said. Jared’s face fell and you shook your head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that you wouldn’t be one. Of course you would. I just don’t have a lot of close girlfriends. I think it’d be weird if Jensen had a ton and…”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” said Gen. “We didn’t have an even number at our wedding.”

“We got time to figure that stuff out,” said Jensen, holding your waist. You finished the last bite of cookie and hummed.

“So you two having a kid?” asked Jared. Gen whacked his chest and he shrugged.

“Jesus, Jare. Don’t ask that.”

“They’re our best friends and godparents to our children...although I guess Y/N didn’t know that she inherited that until now but come on, I know you’re wondering too.”

“Shut up,” said Gen, crossing her arms. “Obviously if they decide, they’ll tell us when it happens.”

“Yeah, I think there’ll be at least one,” you laughed. Gen lit up and turned to Jared.

“Last time they said they were having a baby guess what we did? I can’t handle no more babies,” said Jared.

“Can you even get that thing up anymore?” teased Jensen, sipping on his beer.

“You’re one to talk, old man.”

“That shit still works just fine.”

“Just fine?” shot back Jared.

“Oh my God. You’re both good at sex. Y/N be grateful you’ve missed this same conversation over and over for the past sixteen odd years,” said Gen.

“I’m still taller,” said Jared with a smirk.

“I can last longer,” said Jensen with one of his own. They narrowed their eyes at one another and Jared stood up.

“Go wrestle on the grass,” groaned Gen. They both huffed and got out of the pool before starting to playfully wrestle. “See, what you may not realize yet is you have another child right there.”

“Yeah but he’s hot,” you said, Gen laughing while you sat beside her. “Do you guys really talk about sex with each other?”

“Yes and no. The boys are you know, boys. They’d combust if they didn’t tease each other. I wouldn’t say there’s like, intimate details or anything ever shared. They’re both pretty private about that sort of thing. Dee and I would talk but more so say we had fun the night before. Shit we probably talked about sex toys more than anything.”

You stopped mid sip of your beer and she laughed.

“When your guy is thousands of miles away for that long out of the year, you gotta get off on your own. You get pretty good at phone sex too. You’re lucky. Jensen won’t be staying away so long ever again he said.”

“No, no. But uh...before Jensen I’d had the same boyfriend forever and he was as vanilla as could be. We didn’t do that stuff really together.”

“I can text you some links to stuff. It’s not like you have to go in some scary store or anything. It’s discrete and I think a small vibe would be great to start with. You can use it during sex or foreplay or whatever. Just you know, have fun.”

“Jensen and I kinda got busted by the cops a week or so back for...activities in the backseat,” you said. She started to laugh and you groaned. “Thankfully it was his friend that caught us so he let us off the hook but...it was kinda fun.”

“Good,” she said, sighing as Jensen pinned Jared down. “Hey so yeah about that wedding thing. Jared had two more groomsmen than I had girls. It doesn’t have to be matchy, matchy, you know?”

“I know. I don’t know if…” you trailed off. “I lost my friend group when I broke it off with my last boyfriend. We’d been together for over ten years and I kept turning down his proposals and they didn’t like that. I have some nanny friends but not a lot and no one I’m really close to. I don’t know if I’d even get more than five people to come for me. Everyone else is his family and friends and I didn’t think about that until just now. I mean what would they think, seeing that? I don’t know if I even want anyone there now.”

“I think what they’d see is someone they care about marrying someone he loves. Just because we’re Jensen’s friends doesn’t mean we’re not your friends too. I know we’re still getting to know each other but we’ll be as close as those two eventually. Ruthie was texting me and we’re having a girls night the next convention in Dallas. You literally have a built in crew ready to go from the show, the girls and the guys. You are so coming with me to the next night I have with my local girlfriends and you got our family. You even got Dee’s parents. You have more than you know, sweetie.”

“I never had a best friend growing up except for my mom. Until Jensen,” you said. “I’ve never really been good at the friend thing.”

“Were you bullied in school?” she asked quietly.

“Don’t tell anyone besides Jared but my dad wasn’t a good person. He hurt me and so I was afraid of getting in trouble so I didn’t talk to other kids all that much until I got old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong and that’s how I ended up being adopted.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Can’t do anything about it now. But I can have it not control my life too. I’ve been pretty good since I was nine in that department. My mom dying sucked and things have been up and down but I like where I am now. This is easily the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Jens’s not perfect.”

“I know. But he’s good enough. He gave me a certain confidence to live my life, like really live it.”

“He’s alright,” she smiled. “You know I have an idea about this bridesmaids thing you might like.”

“You?”

“Oh I would for sure but I meant more so I know two little girls that wouldn’t mind. Maybe there’s a boy too,” she said.

“I’m gonna need you to be my wedding planner at this rate,” you said.

“Job accepted,” she said. “I say we go farmhouse modern style.”

“Gen. I got engaged like two weeks ago. We have time,” you said. “We don’t even have a date.”

“At the very least can we go dress shopping?” she asked.

“I’m going to regret this,” you sighed as Jensen stepped back in the water.

“Get yourself a stronger man, Padalecki. That one is weak,” he said. Jared followed him right after and went to tackle him when Gen caught his arm.

“Boys, not in the water,” she said.

“Chicken?” asked Jensen.

“Losers pick up the tab for when we go out this weekend for dinner. Deal?” asked Jared.

“Well in that case, you’re on.”

Two Weeks Later

“Jensen,” you said, carding your fingers through his hair while he absentmindedly burnt some eggs. “You okay babe?”

“Yeah. We ought to pack up the kids, get on the road soon if we’re gonna hit the beach.”

“I’m gonna drive, okay?” you asked. He nodded and you got out the eggs again, making up a new batch. “Do you want to talk to Ray?”

“Why?” he asked quietly, leaning back against the counter.

“Anniversaries of traumatic events can be triggering,” you said. “My mom died two days ago. Well, you know what I mean.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked.

“Because it doesn’t trigger me anymore. But it did and this is the first time...the first one is the roughest.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I ought to talk to him.”

“Eat your breakfast. I’ll give him a call and get the kids ready while you guys talk, okay?” you said.

“Thank you,” he said. You kissed his cheek and hugged him before you went upstairs for your phone. It rang a few times but Ray finally answered, noise in the background.

“Y/N. Everything alright?” he asked.

“Hey. Yeah. We’re...we’re pretty good. Today’s the first anniversary of Jensen’s-”

“Ah. I understand.”

“Listen, I know it’s a Sunday and you don’t work the weekends but would you mind talking to him for a few minutes? We’re going down to Galveston for the week in a bit but he’s off this morning.”

“I’d talk to him even if he wasn’t your fiance but especially because of that. You know we’re actually down here ourselves for a few days. Just got down yesterday. If you guys are around...maybe we could get together for that swim.”

“I’d like that. You okay?” you asked.

“I always get a little down on the day but Sarah understands. You understand.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna put Jensen on and um, maybe we can meet at Arillo’s for dinner?”

“We got a reservation there ourselves tonight. How many in your crew? Five? I’ll call and ask for an update.”

“Yeah there’s five of us. Um, Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for being so horrible as a teenager after mom. You loved her as much as I did.”

“Thank you but you don’t have to apologize for that. You got too much pain in your life. I’m glad you found the good stuff too.”

“Are Geroge and Taylor there?” you asked.

“Yeah kids are here. Taylor’s got some internship but she does it online half the day and George is some research assistant thing for one of his professors but same kinda deal. We leave them to work in the morning while Sarah and I have some fun. Want me to let them know you’re coming?”

“Probably a good idea. Not sure how they’ll react,” you said, Jensen poking his head into the bedroom. “Here’s Jensen.”

“Okay, sweetie. We’ll see you guys soon.”

You handed the phone to Jensen and finished up packing while he sat on the bed. You tried to leave him be but couldn’t help listening in.

“Yeah I’m anxious...I don’t want her to drive down today...you know why...I guess...probably...I don’t want to be freaking out for three hours in the car...because it’s today...I know...I know...so I have to suck it up...I don’t want to have a panic attack in the car with the kids...no I haven’t...I’m scared I will though...yeah...I understand...dude that sounds so stupid...that’s not medically anything...no I don’t have my doctorate...I don’t wanna ask her...I said I don’t want to, not that I wouldn’t...I know...I will...maybe I’ll try that too...yeah, Y/N said the first year is the roughest too...I’ll let her be in charge until we get down to the beach today. I think I’ll feel better after the car...yeah I kinda figured out what she was doing planning a trip on today of all days...I need it...really? Yeah, I’m looking forward to meeting up down there too...thanks Ray.”

You finished with your suitcase and had his open for him when he walked into the closet. He swallowed and handed your phone back.

“All good?” you asked.

“Ray thought it might be a good idea if I had something of yours with me on the way down, to keep on me since I’m...anxious this morning about being in a car.”

“Something of mine…” you said, looking at your side of the closet. “Why don’t you pack up and I’ll get you something before the road, okay?”

He nodded and twenty minutes and about three bathroom trips later the SUV was packed up. You hopped behind the wheel, Jensen tapping the arm rest from the passenger seat.

“Here,” you said, reaching into your pocket, pulling out a bracelet. It was fabric, the kind made from craft string, white, rusty orange and a light tan color mixed together.

“I’ve never seen this,” he said as he held it between his fingers.

“I got it on vacation with mom and Ray. Last one we went on,” you said, tying it around his wrist. “You have it.”

He stared at you as you turned the engine on, watching you backout.

“This is too important for me to take,” he said quietly.

“It’s fabric. I want you to have it, okay?” you said, pulling onto the street and closing the gate. He nodded and you turned the radio on low. “Coffee run?”

“Yeah. Coffee sounds good right about now.”

You were only about fifteen or so minutes away from the beach house you’d rented. The kids were either taking naps in the backseats or watching a movie on the ipad. You risked a glance at Jensen, his fingers absently toying with the bracelet while he looked out the window, the radio on low.

“How you doing big guy?” you asked as you pulled off to the exit ramp.

“Pretty good now,” he said softly.

“Mind navigating for me?” you asked. He hummed and picked up your phone from where it sat in the console the past few hours. About twenty minutes or so you were stretching outside of the car, Jensen opening the front door of the house with the code you’d been given. The kids climbed out and were good about each taking their own backpacks while you and Jensen gathered up the rest.

“Come here,” he said, leaving the bags by his feet and kissing you against the side of the car. You grinned and he picked you up in a big squeezing hug. “I love you.”

“I know,” you said. He set you down and kissed you again. “You seem like yourself again.”

“I needed that push, get over that fear. But now, I can enjoy my day with my girl and my kiddos and apparently we are having dinner with Ray and his family tonight?” he asked.

“If that’s alright,” you said.

“One hundred percent,” he said, Arrow jumping up and down nearby. “Honey, go use the bathroom in the house if you have to go.”

“No I’m excited!” she said. “Can we go play on the beach? Pretty please?”

“Hm, give daddy fifteen minutes and then we can go?” he asked. She turned to you and grinned.

“We’ll go really soon sweetie. I promise.”

“Hey guys,” said Jensen an hour later, the five of you down on the beach and mostly watching them build a sandcastle together. “Y/N and I want to tell you something.”

“Is it that you guys are getting married?” asked JJ, patting some sand with her shovel. You glanced at Jensen and he shrugged. “You were talking to Aunt Gen and Uncle Jared about it last night, right?”

“Well, yes we were,” said Jensen. “I suppose we were a little louder than we thought. But yes, Y/N and I have decided to get married. We’re not sure when exactly but in the next year I can say.”

“So we have a mom again?” asked Arrow, fixing her corner of the castle that kept caving in.

“Well you guys are kinda lucky. You’ll get two moms,” he said. “How’s that sound?”

“We missed mom’s day,” she said with a sigh. “Right?”

“We’ll catch it next year, promise,” said Jensen. “Do you guys have any questions or anything you want to say?”

“Do we call you mom now?” asked JJ.

“You guys call me whatever you want,” you said.

“Can we call you mom?” she asked. You nodded and she went back to playing in the sand.

“Anything else guys?” asked Jensen.

“Can I get a giraffe?” asked Zeppelin while he figured out how much water to add to the sand to get it to stick together.

“No sweetie. They wouldn’t fit at our house,” said Jensen.

“Darn it,” he said.

“I can tell you’re all so invested in this topic,” chuckled Jensen.

“Oh! Can my flower girl dress be purple?” asked JJ.

“Your dress can be whatever color you want it to be,” you said.

“Awesome,” she said. “Or black and purple. With lightning stripes.”

“Ah, I knew the classic rock would finally pay off,” said Jensen.

“Maybe Daddy’s suit can be black and white stripes, like a tiger,” you said.

“Like a White Snake music video more like it,” he laughed. “We’ll figure all that stuff out. We wanted to make sure you guys knew was all and if you have any questions or were nervous or anything you know you can ask either one of us.”

“Mom makes you happy again. Of course you gotta marry her!” said Arrow. “Oh and get her a pony. Girls like that.”

“Would you care for a pony, sweetheart?” asked Jensen as he shook his head.

“Are we talking mustang kind of pony?” you asked.

“That’s my girl,” he said, wrapping an arm over your shoulders, kissing your cheek. “Let dad get a picture of you guys. We’re on vacation after all.”

Five Hours Later

“Jensen,” you said, changing into a light summer top and a pair of denim shorts after your shower. He was standing by his suitcase undressed, trailing his finger over his scar. “Honey?”

“A year ago was the worst day of my life and today was a really great one. I get to meet Ray more and even Sarah and the kids who all sound great and...I’m really happy I’m still here to see all this.”

“Me too,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “Wear your red underwear.”

“Is that a request?”

“I like how you look when you take it off,” you said, gently smacking his ass as you went to go fix your hair.

“I am so grateful I found you,” he said to himself. You smiled and brushed your teeth quickly before checking yourself over and taking a selfie. You sat up on the counter and opened instagram, still silently grateful you’d always had it on private. There was nothing bad on it but Jensen and Jared had tagged you before and all of the comments always seemed to be negative.

“How do I look?” asked Jensen, walking in wearing a short sleeve navy button down and his red underwear.

“So sexy,” you giggled, Jensen digging through his other bag and finding his khaki shorts.

“Can I get away with sneakers and a backwards baseball cap at this restaurant?” he asked.

“Totally. We always eat outside. It’s near the pier,” you said, putting up your post.

“Taking more pictures I can show off of you again?” he asked, grabbing your brush and getting some control of his damp hair back.

“Nobody even sees my instagram hardly,” you said.

“You know the internet knows we’re dating, right.”

“I’m pretty sure your fans still aren’t okay with that fact, even if they know.”

“Oh you’re mistaking the nutjobs for actual fans. The real ones, those guys are cool and nice. I actually got a lot of care packages and things from them last year. Still do. They really are good people. Those other ones that leave nasty comments? Fuck them. That shit don’t bother me anymore.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying family and friends know. Can I show off the woman I love to the world?” You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him in front of you, his head cocking.

“Yeah,” you said. “Better late than never.”

“Okay,” he said. “For now though, I’m looking forward to this dinner.”

“I hope it goes well. It’s George and Taylor I’m more worried about. They were kids when I decided to stop coming around. I only knew them maybe two years, if even that. I know they were upset.”

“Give them some credit. Ray raised them too after all.”

“I’m all set!” said Zeppelin, walking into the bathroom with his paw patrol shirt and nothing else on.

“At least I was gonna wear underwear,” chuckled Jensen. “Little dude. Get some undies on and shorts in the next two minutes or else…” he trailed off as he came in and hugged Jensen’s leg.

“I love you, daddy,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Can we get a giraffe now?” he asked. Jensen rolled his eyes and you released him.

“Let’s go finish getting you dressed, buddy.”

“So you guys were Sarah’s fosters?” asked Jensen towards the end of dinner, all three kids passed out asleep in the stroller or on the bench besides you while you picked at your shared dessert. Neither George or Taylor had said much aside from introducing themselves.

“Guys,” said Ray, nudging Taylor. “I’m sorry for our children’s rudeness. I was afraid of this.”

“Shut up,” they both said, Sarah sighing.

“The kids were both big fans of Supernatural. They grew up watching it with me. It was something we bonded over at first in fact,” she said.

“Oh,” said Jensen, a smirk forming on his face. “Sam or Dean girls? George come on buddy, it’s okay.”

“This isn’t happening,” said Taylor, her eyes squeezed shut.

“So you guys don’t want to hear about the movie, gotcha,” he said, both of them snapping their heads up.

“He really is a dork,” you said.

“Movie?” asked George.

“Someday. You can count on it,” said Jensen. “Maybe I’ll go easy on you guys and ask what mom was?”

“You boys are a little young for my tastes but honestly the guy who played John was very attractive,” she said.

“Even I’d hit that,” said Ray, Sarah laughing to herself.

“You can see Ray wins his ladies over with his charm,” you said, glancing at Taylor and George. “Like you guys could literally ask anything you ever wanted about the show and get an unfiltered answer if you want.”

“Did you really keep the car?” asked George. Jensen nodded and held up his finger.

“When we’re back in town, you guys come over and you can take a spin in it,” he said.

“Okay, he’s cool with me,” said George. You cocked your head and he smiled. “That was the car from the show I always told you about.”

“Oh. I thought you were talking about batman or something,” you said, pursing your lips. “Sorry I wasn’t…”

“You always sucked at pretending to be happy,” said Taylor. You looked down and nodded. “We get it. You had to do your own thing.”

“Don’t hate me for leaving?”

“Maybe when we were little,” she said. “But we’re older and we get that you probably felt like a fifth wheel.”

“Yeah. A lot really,” you said. “It worked out though.”

“She’s a Dean girl by the way,” said Ray, cracking up as Taylor whacked his arm.

“Dad! Oh my God no I’m not! I like Sam!” she said.

“Want to talk to him?” grinned Jensen. Her face went red and you heard a quiet chuckle at the table. “You’re right, we’ll save that for in person.”

“You basically are marrying Dean Winchester without like, the trauma,” she said. Jensen tensed up but kept a smile on his face. You knew Ray caught it when he gave him a simple nod.

“Trauma’s not inherently bad,” said Ray. “Everyone at this table has gone through some.”

“I know, dad,” she said quietly. She looked at George and he nodded. “Our parents were in a house fire. So were we. I was five and Georgie was four.”

“She carried him out and went next door for help,” you said.

“I was in a car accident last year,” said Jensen. You turned your head. It wasn’t public knowledge that he was in the car. He’d flat out told you that aside from family and a few friends, no one besides you knew. “I almost died. My wife did but for other reasons. You can still have trauma and a really good life.”

“Very good point, Jensen,” said Ray. “You two rugrats wouldn’t be around if mom and I had moped around in our misery forever.”

“Was he always such a sap?” asked George.

“From the day I met him,” you said, Jensen grabbing your hand under the table. “Would you mind watching the kids for a second?”

“Not at all,” he said. You excused yourself and brought Jensen along with you, walking out to the beach area, the breeze cool but light.

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I can talk about it now. I went from having the worst year of my life to one of the best. Nothing bad’s gonna happen for saying what really happened. I want to let all that shit go and have the rest of that really good life I was talking about.”

“For someone who keeps a lot inside I sure have noticed a difference in you the past few weeks.”

“To quote both of the loves of my life, I gotta let that shit out more regularly,” he said. You smiled and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, giving him a kiss.

“You know that’s what we call growth, babe.”

“I very easily could have gone the opposite way this year.”

“But you didn’t, cause you tried even though it sucks sometimes. I love you but I extra love happy you and you’re definitely a happier guy now than when I met you.”

“So are you, honey,” he said. “Must make a pretty good team or something.”

“Oh yeah, maybe that’s it.”

“We should honestly get like, married or something, you know?” he teased.

“First I have to know though, are you willing to do cookie cake for a wedding cake?”

“I’m willing to make that sacrifice,” he said. “The real questions is, are you willing to deal with the eventual dad bod that will happen as a result?”

“I love this bod, but I don’t love you for this bod,” you said.

“Thank you for today,” he said softly.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you said. He grinned and kissed your cheek, hugging you tightly. “What are best friends for?”

“Everything?”

“Hell yeah they are Ackles.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 15 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen series #jensen x reader #rpf #rpf series #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic

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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years

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Sick Day - Batfam x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : It’s never fun to be sick. Duh. But when you have loving parents there to take care of you, maybe it isn’t so bad ? Just short little snippets of the first time each Batkids fell ill in Wayne Manor, and how Bruce and his wife (you :D) dealt with it.

Another “burst of the moment inspiration” story, just a little drabble. Promise I’ll post something more elaborate soon :), hope you’ll like it :

My master list blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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(Thanks to that anon who mentioned the kids getting shots, that gave me with this an idea on how to start this fic :D. The original beginning was different, I think I like that one better hehe.)

"Mister Wayne, if you keep doing this, I'm not going to be able to give your son-Bruce for god's sake !"

Leslie Thompkins, for the first time in her long career, was about to lose her patience and give up on...giving a simple shot to a baby.

She has seen worried parents before, of course. The one that clung to their child’s hand, or those who would cry because their little one was in pain…

Babies that young, who had to get vaccinated for the first time, never really experienced this sort of quick pain before.

A lot of them would cry more out of surprise than because it really hurt. Oh and when the parents were extra worried, you could be sure the baby was even more likely to burst into tears, sensing his parents' distress.

Yes. doctor Thompkins gave shots to a LOT of babies, and saw a LOT of worried parents before…But never had she met someone quite like Bruce Wayne.

He always came to her when his kids were sick. He could go to a fancier office, or to one of those pricy fancy private hospitals. But no.

No because, when it came to his kids’ health, there was no one he trusted more than Doctor Leslie Thompkins.

So it was no surprise when he brought his youngest son, Thomas, to get his first shot ever. What was a surprise though, was his reaction.

"And now you know why I'm always the only one in the room when this happens."

You say, smiling apologetically to the doctor. But ah, at least your husband's reaction eased a little the tension in your body brought by the mere idea of your baby being hurt.

Every single time Leslie got the syringe close to your little one, Bruce would reflexively grab her wrist and stop her from giving the shot to his son.

Ridiculous, really.

But it seemed it was something he couldn't fight.

He apologized the first time he did it, as Dr Thompskins smiled and said it was ok, rather amused. But then the second time, it was getting clear he didn't seem to quite control himself. At the third time Bruce was visibly sweating. Dr Thompkins finally snapped as she tried for a fourth and fifth time to give a shot to little Thomas (who, at barely 2 months old, was much too young to even understand what was happening, but by his little smiles it was clear he was happy every time his father would come into his vision).

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just…I thought I could do it, but I can't."

And oh. Oh it's adorable the way he turns to you, his eyes saying "I'm sorry" as he takes his son back in his arms and holds him against his chest. You weren’t sure if it was to comfort little Tommy, or if he was comforting himself.

"I think I should just let you two handle this ?" He asks, unsure. He doesn’t want you to be mad or to think he’s abandoning you.

"I think this is a good idea Bruce, yes."

You smile at him reassuringly. It’s fine. It was always fine.

"I'm sorry, sorry I'm letting you do this alone once again. I just can't…"

"Oh it's ok my Broosh, I know you hate shots. I can handle it, and little buddy here sure can too."

Thomas coos happily as you pick him up delicately from his father's arms. Bruce resists a bit, before finally giving in and letting you take hold of the little one.

He lays a hand on his son's head, looking fondly at him (of this look he only gives his children, of this pure look full of unconditional love, and a hint of “what did I do to deserve this sort of happiness ?”) and then sighs, press a soft kiss to your forehead, murmuring a last “I’m sorry, my love” and leaves the room.

He feels a little ashamed to let you do this once again, but you've always been the strongest one out of the two. After all, you willingly decided to marry a man like him…

"Alright Mrs Wayne, ready ? And here we-oh not you too (Y/N) !"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I don't know what took over me, it was just a reflex too !"

You apologize, as you let go of the doctor's wrist…

Yeah, it was just a gut reaction to seeing a scary needle approaching your baby's thigh. In your line of um, nightly work, you came to be very wary, of syringes. You still remember vividly that time Tim got hit with one of Scarecrows’ needle, and how terrible this night had been...

"Ok ok, now is fine. Go. I'm ready. Go fast though, now. Now I’m not looking. Go. Go. Go."

Tears welling up in your eyes at the mere thought of this happening, you look away as you hold your son still (something he doesn't like as clearly shown by his little sound of protest, and as he starts to fuss about), and in one, two seconds…it's done.

And not a peep from your son.

He just stopped making any sound (he've always been rather vocal), his eyes went wide, and he made a face that looked like he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to cry or not. Then there’s one more second, and Leslie had a soothing bandaid on his little leg, and you were holding him against your heart, and the pain was so fleeting and already gone, that he just gets over it quickly, feeling your love.

Calming down instantly, not noticing the tears in your eyes (thank god, or it’d be a sure way to make him weep too).

And so he doesn't cry. And everything is ok again.

“Well, that wasn’t so hard, was it ?”

“Actually, it was.”

You say, barely holding your tears in, your son cooing in your arms

“Um...I was talking to Thomas.”

Leslie answers, amused. And just like that, you both burst into laughter.

After a few minutes of this uncontrollable fit of giggles, you thank Leslie for her help, and leave the room, joining your husband who had been walking back and forth in the waiting room, nervous.

He comes immediately to you and Thomas, and as soon as the boy sees his dad he smiles widely and giggles. Bruce gives him a soft smile, before turning to you :

“How was it ?”

“For me ? Not great. For Tommy ? He didn’t even utter a sound. Our little guy is brave !”

You kiss your son on his forehead, and he giggles and coos even more. There’s a short silence, before Bruce says :

“I’m sorry...”

And then he takes you in his arms, sandwiching little Thomas who’s protesting a bit. Damn, his parents could be so clingy !

“It’s ok my Broosh, I already told you. It’s ok.”

You sort of knew since you stepped into the doctor’s room that you’d end up being the one having to hold your boy anyway.

You knew oh too well how squeamish he was whenever HE had to get a shot done (and oh who would’ve thought the big bad bat hated getting shots so much uh ? You were pretty sure he would rather getting actually shot than take a tiny needle in his arm any day of the week...Alfred always had to fight with him to inject anesthesia when treating him for wounds). It was actually sort of a requirement, that you’d be next to him to give him your hand when he absolutely had to get a shot.

So understandably so, he always skipped on his children’s vaccins. He just couldn’t bear to see anyone he cared for to get that very things he hated so much, it just made him feel ill.

And you’ve always been fine with this. Since that very first day when you took Dick there...But Bruce always felt bad.

Because whenever you’d get out of the doctor’s office, you’d have fresh tears in your eyes, because you were just too pure for this world (is what Damian would say).

Dick always took advantage of this. He was never really scared of shots, and thought they didn’t really hurt...But oh, oh he would always cry a river of crocodile tears just so he’d get extra cuddles and ice cream.

And then, that cheeky little bugger passed that knowledge of “when we get shots, or we get sick, the parents literally let us do WHATEVER we want !” to his little siblings (you were actually pretty sure your kids would pass secret ways to manipulate you and Bruce along to their younger siblings and..you were oddly fine with it. You loved those kids too much to care, really).

This thought reminded you of that very first time Dick fell sick, shortly after you and Bruce officially adopted him.

And how much you guys freaked out.

It was both a pleasant, and terrible memory.

And oh. Oh you already dreaded the day Thomas would have his first real fever...You still remembered how it happened, with all your other children.

“What is it ?” Bruce asks, always knowing when something was on your mind. And so you say : “Nothing bad, this just reminds me of when Dick got sick for the first time while with us...”

A light of recognition ignited in Bruce’s eyes, he knew exactly what you were talking about.

Bruce only had fond memories of when he was sick and his mom and dad would take care of him.

He thought they were the best, wether they’d hold a “barf-bucket” for him, or stay up all night because he was too feverish...

What he never realized though, is that having a sick child was actually absolutely terrifying ! Bruce often felt sick himself, when the kids were ill.....ah, but nothing ever beats those first time each of them got sick.

DICK

Dick wasn't as young as Thomas, when he first came into your life. None of them were. But he was still a cute little bean, your baby.

Eight years old, and oh so sweet and nice and cute and you could just squish his little cheeks all day (albeit from the few outburst of anger at times, but hey, he was but a child, every kid throw tantrum from times to times).

He had been living with you and Bruce in the Manor for the past six months, when you had your first fright, and realized that being a parent meant being worried about your kid's well being for the rest of your days

Dick was definitely a tiny kid when he came in your life. He was rather short, only having a growth spurt when he was around 14/15. Barbara Gordon used to tease him to no end about this, up until he finally caught up with her and ended up being taller.

But yes, his small stature for his age, maybe made you baby him even more than the others, sometimes.

Ah. That first time little Dick Grayson was sick at Wayne Manor.

You. Freaked. The. Fuck. OUT.

You and Bruce, both.

Coincidentally, Dick became ill ON THE ONLY FEW DAYS OFF ALFRED WOULD TAKE A YEAR !!

Every year, for a theater festival, Alfred would take off to his homeland, to England, in London to be exact, for but a few days.

The three of you were in the batcave. Bruce was getting ready to go out, while you were on the bat computer and Dick was training on the side, doing some acrobatics on the trampoline Bruce installed.

And then he came to you, pulling on your sleeve, and he was so pale...

“I don’t feel too well.”

He said, right before throwing up for a few way too long seconds, as tears welled up in his eyes...it was never nice to throw up, and once again, no matter how mature he acted, you were reminded that Dick was but an eight year old child.

But he wasn’t only crying because throwing up fucking sucked. He was also crying because he thought you were going to be mad at him.

You reassured him, as you cleaned his little face up, and Bruce (who looked quite green himself...later on, you’d discover than when his kids or you were sick, he felt sick too...quite a strong reaction, really) carried him upstairs.

You were frantically googling how to take care of a sick child, as Bruce stayed with Dick, holding a bark bucket to his face, and drawing soothing circles on his back with his hand.

The panic dumbed the both of you down. It seemed like you couldn’t think, as you tried to make Dick as comfortable as he could.

You could feel your anxiety blowing through the roof, and knew that Bruce was close to have a panic attack himself (he was prone to them, although you and Alfred were the only one who knew).

You didn’t know what was worst, the fact he was sick and had no idea what you were supposed to do, or how much Dick was sobbing and apologizing.

“Should we call Dr. Thompkins ?”

“I don’t know her number, Alfred is the one that calls usually...”

“Should we take him there then ?”

“I don’t know, Alfred is-”

This went on for a little bit, as Dick was throwing up and crying. Saying “sorry !” every two seconds. But...Instinctively, Bruce was trying to soothe him with those warm pats on his back. And you were caressing his hair, empathetic. And...

You decided to not go to the doctor today, Dick was sick, but not sick enough to take him to an emergency. And in Gotham ? Leslie was needed for a lot, especially in evenings like this.

“Alfred um, gives me flat soda when I have a stomach ache ?”

“On it !”

You say, bolting on your feet and running to the kitchen, taking a cola and opening it up. Meanwhile, Dick’s fit calmed down, and he seemed to instantly feel better as he probably threw everything he needed to up...

He seemed content, cuddling against Bruce as the man was softly patting his back in small circles, and using his other hand to hold his head delicately.

You and Bruce were definitely not experienced parents yet, and it showed.

It showed by those first few minutes of utter panic, as your child got suddenly sick. And it showed as how you instantly just thought of calling Alfred...

That day, you both realized though, that you couldn’t always rely on the butler when it came to raising your son. For situations exactly like that one.

Both you and Bruce were still young, and scared to make mistakes but..You had to try. And you had to keep a cool head. Your motherly instinct kicked in.

It was so odd, seeing the big bad bat, wearing his costume without the cowl on (he didn’t have time to take it off as he rushed upstairs with the boy in his arms), looking so worried...

Bruce was so pale, and you could see that in a way, he felt his son’s pain too...Which just made your head click, and take action.

“Ok, ok we can do this. Keep the barf bucket close, let’s wait for the soda to get flat, and um...let’s try to distract him. A movie, perhaps ?”

Dick nodded, and although he wasn’t throwing up anymore, he seemed too weak to stand up (or maybe he was faking, could be, honestly, with that one...doesn’t matter) so Bruce carried him again.

And it was a sight. Bruce was a tall man. And Dick was a very small kid.

It was cute. and in that moment...In that moment it felt like you both suddenly realized what it meant, to be a parent.

Bruce, holding his son in his arms, feeling the little one’s heartbeat and slowed breath as he was kinda nodding off...was this how his own father felt, when holding him ? It was nice. It was a surge of pure love, and knowing that he would die for that kid if he had to. Hell, he would burn the whole world, for that kid.

It was so odd. The situation wasn’t that crazy, Dick probably just ate something bad, and with the trampoline and all the jumping around...he got sick.

As a child, you had those rapid sick moments of having a bad stomach ache, which would turn into throwing up, to then feel better. Those sudden moments when your own parents would take care of you...

Ah. You hadn’t realized how much worry being a parent would bring. Bruce didn’t either. You guys adopting Dick felt like an obvious thing to do. Felt like it was meant to be...

But it wasn’t just yet, that you felt like a mom. Or a dad.

It took some time to build. Just like it took time for Dick to call you “mom” and “dad”. And in that moment, as your kid (yes, your kid) was sick, that was it...

Finally. Yes. That was it.

You were a mom.

Bruce was a dad.

Dick was your son.

Of course you panicked as he suddenly got sick. But now, it was in your hand to properly take care of him. And thus started the first ritual you’d ever make with one of your children.

Dick, when sick, liked chicken noodle soups. Made by you. He liked cuddles, up until he turned 12 or 13, then he acted as if he was too grown up for them. This eventually stopped when he turned 19, not long after Jason’s death...He regressed back to a little boy in some ways, and needed you. And Bruce.

You’d often drive to Bludhaven just to give him chicken noodle soup and sprite, when he got sick. Even as he grew older and older...He loved it. No one could ever beat his mom babying him, when he felt under the weather.

JASON

"Hey buddy, are you ok ?”

“Yes, yes I’m ok mom.”

He smiles at you sweetly, his eyes half-closed, and clearly still relishing in the fact that he can finally call someone “mom”. But this happiness he felt whenever he realized he was finally safe, and had a home, was oddly dimmed, this morning.

“Are you su-OH MY GOD !”

Your hand is burning, as you lay it on his forehead.

He’s burning up !

“Hey wow hey, kiddo, come here, you’re not feeling well are you ?”

But Jason shakes his head, and says :

“No I’m good. Just tired, but I’ll wake up soon.”

He smiled again, but it felt all wrong.

Of course, you didn’t take his words for it, even if you knew Jason wasn’t a liar. But the fact spoke for themselves, your kid was NOT alright. No matter what he was saying.

Turned out, you were definitely right. He really wasn’t alright.

In fact, Jason had...pneumonia. A bad case of it. That he probably caught when he was playing earlier that day, in the snow, with Bruce, staying out up until his lips were blue and he was soaking wet !! Bruce could just never resist him, and didn’t have the heart to say “no” when the kid kept asking on playing more...

He dearly regretted it. But you reassured him, this wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t.

You rushed to the hospital, Bruce holding a tiny little Jason wrapped tight in a few warm blankets. And the doctor confirmed you made the right call, taking him to the ER.

It wasn’t like with Dick, where it was obvious the boy had a mild sickness. No. Jason really looked bad, and ready to drop.

You and Bruce let once again your parental instincts kick in and...It was the right call.

When Jason woke up, he let out a string of apologies and you realized...You realized the kid was terrified you wouldn’t want him anymore if he bothered you too much. Was scared to death that you’d want to take him back where you found him, that you’d give up on him.

His real life father bolted at the first signs of troubles. His mother was a drug addict for whom he was never good enough to try and get cleaned up.

He was abandoned, over and over again along his short life and...he was absolutely terrified that if he was too much of a nuisance to you two, you and Bruce would leave him as well. That you wouldn’t bother.

And it broke your hearts.

Softly, when Jason finally got better, after a few days of utter nightmare for you and Bruce, you took him home. He still needed some rest, as he was a little sick, so you tucked him comfortably in his bed and finally, you told him :

“From now on, you promise me to tell us when you don’t feel ok ? Wether you think it’ll bother us or not. You will never bother us, little buddy, ok ?”

“Ok”, Jason said, unsure.

“What do I have to say or do, to convince you you’ll never be a nuisance to us ?”

The question took Jason by surprise, and he wasn’t quite sure of what to say. In his feverish state anyway, he had a hard time thinking. He heard himself say :

“Stay with me ?”

“Of course. Always little one, always.”

And as he softly drifted to sleep, feeling the cold and soothing towel you would wet over and over again to put on his forehead, he heard you hum a song from your childhood, that would become a song always sure to put him to sleep.

He was out, when Bruce said : “I’ll stay home tonight.” A shame, really. Because maybe, maybe if he heard that the Batman was going to skip patrol just to keep an eye on him...Then he’d know he would never bother him. Ever.

That he would forever hold a dear, prime place in his heart.

Jason woke up the next morning, and found you and Bruce asleep on the floor, right next to his bed. You were still holding a towel that had long since dried up, and one of Bruce’s hand was clutched tightly on your shirt.

The basin full of cold water laying on his bed side table was almost empty. Jason smiled.

He felt better after a few hours of good sleep, and slowly got out of the blankets, pulling them with him, to then lay down next to you two, throwing the thick quilt over all of you.

Later that day, Alfred found the three of you all cuddled up. He snatched a picture. Picture that was framed, amongst some of your favorite of your children, in your office. And in Bruce’s.

The way you sung him to sleep when he was sick...When he died, it was the last thing he thought about. When he saw the bomb would explose before Bruce could save him.

He thought of how soothing it was, to be taken care of by you. And your humming voice rung in his ears, as he realized he was going to die. Right there.

Oh. Oh he wished he could be a little sick eight years old again, forget all his worries, and just fall asleep with the sound of your voice in his ears, while his dad would hold the both of you in his arms...

TIM

“Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne, go back to bed this instant !”

Tim was the most difficult one, when he had a fever. He was a bit of a workaholic (like father like son ?), and always wanted to help. He hated being too sick because then he felt useless.

Your boy just wanted so much to be there for everyone, that he often forgot himself in the process and...yes.

His first real fever/sickness was punctuated by you constantly trying to get him back into bed.

You almost never even knew Tim was sick !

The boy was so used to taking care of himself, that he tried to handle everything on his own. He even took an appointment to the doctor himself ! But then, before having the chance to go there, he passed out in school, which resulted in a call from his principal that ended in Bruce almost having a heart attack.

You understood him of course. It wasn’t really a nice feeling to be called out during a business meeting to have someone tell you your son passed out in school !

It was just a little flu, but the fever and lack of sleep got the best of him.

Bruce didn’t even tell anyone where he was going, as he rushed to the school. You met him there, as he was walking out of the building, with a little sleepy Tim in his arms.

“I can walk, I swear I can walk.”

The boy was saying, yet his head was on his dad’s shoulder, and the up and down bobble of Bruce’s walk was clearly putting him to sleep.

Your husband settled your son in the car, and drove home.

“He was trying to convince me he could finish his school day, and that he had a group work today and didn’t want to let his friends down...”

“Sounds like Tim alright...”

You said, looking back at his sleeping form in the back seat.

Bruce nods, but you could see something was on his mind. You always knew, when something was on his mind. Brushing a few fingers on his cheeks, you ask :

“What is it, my Bruce ?”

His eyes are on the road, of course. But he flicks them quickly to you, and he knows. He knows he can’t lie to you, or get away with telling you half-truth.

You’ll know, if he’s not really telling you what has been worrying him. He takes a deep breath and, with a small voice says :

“Is this...my fault ?”

At first, you don’t understand, and you say :

“I’m pretty sure it’s because that boy never wears a damn sweater, and we’re in Gotham in the middle of Winter haha.”

But then...Then you realize what he means.

He’s talking about the fact that Tim always seem to overcompensate for something. Always seem to want to be there for everyone, forgetting sometimes he’s just a ten years old boy.

Tim was the only one out of his siblings that became Robin for no personal reason, but just because he loved Batman and wanted to help him. Just because he wanted to help people.

He didn’t have a tragic backstory (although he unfortunately got one later on...), he didn’t have a reason to become Robin, other than his good nature and really wanting to help...

And Bruce let him. Allowed him to do this. Even after what happened to Jason, he let Tim sneak in your life and become Robin.

You’d argue that Tim didn’t leave you guys much of a choice, and sort of had a “well I’m gonna help you no matter what, deal with it” sort of attitude. But you understood your husband’s worries.

He was afraid that he was the one that made him that way. That it was because of him, that Tim worked his health off.

“Oh, Bruce, my Heart...No. No it’s not your fault. It’s just how this amazing little boy is wired. I actually think that thanks to you, he’s more focused and taken care of. The gods can only imagine what Tim Drake would’ve done if he hadn’t been trained by Batman himself...If you said “no” to him pestering you about becoming your Robin, he would’ve taken it upon himself to go out there anyway. And then...I can only imagine what would’ve happened. So no. No it’s not your fault. It’s just...how he is. He reminds me of you a lot, actually. And I’m so, so glad he managed to convince you...Couldn’t imagine my life without that little one in it. Even if he does give me grief often, overworking like that. But it’s not your fault. It’s not. On the contrary.”

It took you a while, to convince Bruce he didn’t create Tim the way he sort-of created Dick and Jason. But you managed to, as you always did. You could be very convincing. Plus, the boy helped. It was clear his dedication came from himself mainly, that he was just born this way.

Too clever and smart for his own good, destined to be a Robin...and maybe a Batman, one day ?

Yes. Tim was the only one that wasn’t in it for himself. For personal reasons. He just wanted to help...

But after that first time he got sick, he understood that sometimes, it was ok to rely on you or his die. That in fact, he would gladly do so !

That day, Bruce carried him to his bed, even as the boy protested he was alright. Finally, you’ve had enough and ended up sort of lecturing him...gently.

“You need to rest, sometimes, ok ? If it’s too much, if you’re too tired, physically AND mentally, you need to take a few steps back...and let others take care of things, and of you. Ok ?”

“But-”

“No buts Timmy. It’s important. If something bad happens to you because you’ve been ignoring your own body, your own self...What will happen to those you want to help ? In order to continue what you’re doing, you need to take some pauses. Like right now. You are sick. You passed out in school. So...It’s gatorade and crackers time.”

Gatorade and crackers.

Tim’s favorite drinks and food.

Gatorade and crackers.

Two things that were rarely found in Wayne Manor. You always tried to give healthy balanced meals to your kids. Especially to Tim, who had the opposite of a balanced diet when he came into your lives (the fact he often had to take care of himself as his parents were too busy meant he often chose his own food...and of course he’d rather have ice cream than broccolis).

But the fact that you were now giving him Gatorade and crackers meant...Meant that Dick was right. When they were sick, you would do anything to make them comfortable.

Coincidentally though, Gatorade and saltines helped out, when one was sick.

On that first time he became sick after starting to live with you, Tim found that it was ok, to relax sometimes. That he didn’t have to waste his life away 24/7 for others, and that he could enjoy some down time.

It only happened when he was sick, to your great dismal. You constantly tried to convince him to take a break (just like you did with Bruce...but although it worked with your husband, especially as he got older, Tim was just very stubborn, and wanted to help too damn much). You even had to trick him into it often.

So although you hated seeing your kids in any kind of pain, you were almost glad when Tim got sick. Because it meant he would really take care of himself. Or rather, letting you take care of him.

That first time he got sick, he ended up leaving his bed...only to go cuddle up in yours and Bruce’s, and enjoy some down time. And learn that, it was ok, to take care of himself.

Hell. You’d hammer this fact in his head if you had to.

Gatorade and crackers, while watching movies in yours and Bruce’s big bed, was why Tim thought that in the end, being sick wasn’t too bad.

Extra points if you two were in the bed with him, snuggled up all nice, safe and warm.

CASSANDRA

Cassandra didn’t like TV, when she was sick. Instead, she liked you reading her stories better. And you’d read to her all day, if need be. Switching from time to time with your husband.

She had trouble sleeping, even when sick and weak. Listening to your voices telling her all those wonderful stories was soothing beyond measure.

The first time she fell sick while at Wayne Manor though, her first reflex was to go hide. Because when she used to be sick with the man who called himself her “father”, with David Cain (that scum), he used to get so mad at her.

As if it was her fault, she became sick.

So she’d run away. Curl into a ball. Wait for it to pass. And then face him, healthy again. It was easier to confront him when she was ok...So she’d rather run away and face the consequences, rather than stay around him while sick.

And so, her first instinct was to go hide.

She went to the attic, and did what she used to do.

Curled up in a ball, in front of the round window. And wait. Alone.

It’s Bruce, who found her. He was casually checking the GPS he put on his children. They still thought they got rid of it, the sweet kids...but as if he’d only implant one. He knew it wasn’t really ethical, but after what happened to Jason, he wasn’t willing to take any chances.

During the day, he would check a few times, and usually during boring office meeting, to see where they were. That day, he saw Cass in the Manor’s attic, and didn’t think much of it. Cass was a curious one, who took it upon herself to explore everything in the house.

But when he came home, and she was still there, his guts told him something was wrong...He rushed to the attic, and found her.

And his heart stopped, when he saw her laid on the floor, curled up into a ball, and softly moaning because she had a bad fever.

She wasn’t asleep, even in this state she fought sleep, afraid to have nightmares (and while having a fever, she couldn’t just wake up to escape them...).

Bruce carried her out of the attic, holding her tight in his arms, his heart bleeding as he realized why she isolated herself while she needed help.

People often misjudged Bruce on that matter. Saw him as a cold harsh man. But oh; oh if it was touching his children or you...He would feel so much. Too much, even. He just loved you all to death.

When he brought her downstairs, and you saw her, you immediately entered “mom mode” and fussed over her, getting everything you needed to make her comfortable...but as it turned out, all she wanted was to feel yours and Bruce’s presence.

To hear your voice, and feel you were there.

And so without thinking, you picked up a book and started to read it to her. And you could feel her relax, let her guard down. A rare occasion she would truly let herself be chill.

The first time Cass got sick while living under your roof, her first instinct was to hide and lick her wounds all by herself. It was to lie on the floor and hope it would pass fast. It was-

The second time she felt under the weather, she immediately went to you. It was early in the morning. And it’s only thanks to Bruce’s amazing reflexes that Cass didn’t throw up all over you two, as he pulled you away from her just in time...To then take care of changing the sheets, while you held your daughter��s hair as she threw up in the master’s bathroom’s toilet.

And then Bruce went downstairs to take a “barf-bowl”, the one actually, that her mom used to take for him...ah. He always used that one for all the kids. Call it nostalgia.

The second time Cass got sick while under your care, she didn’t hide. She wasn’t dreading it, even as she got even sicker than the first time. No.

No because now, she knew she’d always find you so you could take care of her. Ah, and Dick, Jason and Tim gave her many tricks to fake being sick and have you all for herself...

DUKE

Duke was older than any of your kids were when he started to live at the Manor. He was already in his teens. He wasn't a tiny bean like the rest of them, when he came in your family...

And yet. Yet the first time he fell sick, you babied the hell out of him.

So what if he was sixteen ? Doesn’t mean he couldn’t have all the care a child should have when he wasn’t feeling well.

And so you were ready to take care of him, when Alfred came to you this morning to tell you “Master Duke” wasn’t feeling well.

However, when you got to his room and indeed saw he was feverish, he refused to talk to you and just wanted to be alone.

And then it hits you.

Duke was sixteen.

He wasn’t a lost little eight years old boy who had just lost his parents, or never even had parents. He wasn’t a child in dear need of love and cuddles.

He was sixteen.

And he wanted HIS mom.

What happened to his parents was too fresh.

And they weren’t dead...In a way, seeing them lose their mind with no chance of ever getting better was worst.

Duke was sixteen.

And there, sick, all he wanted was to have his mom’s care again.

Yes. Duke’s case was different than all your other children. Because his parents were still there. Because he was older. Because everything was so fresh, at the moment.

In time, in the coming years, he would come to feel just like his siblings did. But right there, just mere few weeks after he moved to the manor, and mere few days after Bruce helped him find his parents...

Duke was homesick.

He missed his dad. But he missed his mom even more. Probably for the same reason that your kids loved to have you around so much, when they were sick...

There was no doubt in your mind that Duke’s mom was amazing at taking care of him when he felt ill. She probably had her own tricks, to make him feel better. Tricks that you did not know...And so you asked.

You simply asked.

Because you wanted to make him feel better. You wanted to be there for him, even if right now, he didn’t want you around.

If he truly wanted to be left alone, you’d leave some medicine and leave him be. But your guts were telling you he was just sad, and the sad was translated into him pretending he wanted to be alone.

Your guts were right.

Duke wanted his mom. Yes. But he also didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts, right now...He just didn’t want to hurt your feelings. He knew how motherly you could be. He didn’t want to project his mother on you. He-

“What do you need ?”

You asked, and the answer came to his mind instantly. He spoke before even realizing he was doing it :

“My mom used to make a perfect drink of warm water, honey, ginger and lemon.”

And as you tried to recreate his mom’s drink, never quite getting the measurements right (you could see on his face it wasn’t like his mother’s), Duke slowly felt better.

Because...Because yes. He missed his mom. And the way she took care of him. Especially on sick days. But...It wasn't everywhere that one could find someone who cared so much, that they were willing to spend their entire day trying to get a drink right, right ?

And when Bruce came home, and asked him if he was “alright champ ?”, Duke realized one thing...

Yes. He wanted his parents. Yes, he missed them like hell. Yes, his sick days would never be the same...

But he wasn’t alone. As Bruce joined in trying to make the perfect drink of “warm water, honey, ginger and lemon”, Duke came to the realization that his situation wasn’t as desperate as he thought, this morning, when he woke up feeling under the weather, and without his mom to take care of him.

Because you were still there. And were planning on staying there for a very long time. Of course, you could never replace his mom. Just like you never replaced Dick’s, or Damian’s...You just, became another mom to them.

And Duke...That first day of being sick in Wayne Manor ? He felt like he was finally willing to let you become his second mom. To let Bruce become a father figure. To have this found family, in this tough times...

Sick days were never the same than when he was a little kid and still had his parents around.

Duke was sixteen. Growing up wasn’t easy, especially after what he went through. And sick days would never be the same...But it didn’t mean they wouldn’t be nice, as he slowly let you and Bruce, and his newfound siblings, take care of him.

Yes. To have this found family in this tough times was quite a joy.

DAMIAN

To the surprise of many, Damian actually didn’t resist too much being taken care of when he first got sick under your roof.

Damian actually loved being sick, because it meant snuggles time with you, safe and warm under a blanket on the couch, watching his favorite movies. It meant your soothing fingers running in his hair, making him feel peaceful and relaxed.

It also meant that he’d have you all for himself.

With five siblings (with a sixth one on the way), it wasn’t always the easiest thing ever, to get his mom only for himself. Yes. He loved to be sick, and babied by you.

The first time he got a bad fever, a few months after he arrived at the Manor, he dreaded falling ill because...

Well. Because he was raised in the League of Assassins. And being sick, no matter how much, was not considered reason enough to not train. To not do what his grandfather told him to do.

He used to work through the sickness. Even if he felt like passing out (and he did, a few times, which earned him hours from his sleeping time taken away...).

So Damian hated being sick.

Until. Until he became ill for the first time when living with you.

By that time, you and Bruce had learned how to manage a sick child. And although Bruce still felt physically ill too whenever his children were, he managed nowadays to be somewhat ok and take care of them without wincing.

It happened not long after Damian started to call you “mom”. He fell asleep while you guys were watching a movie and...it’s what instantly told you something was wrong.

No matter how bad a movie would be, Damian would NEVER fall asleep in the middle of it.

Ah, and sure enough, as you checked his temperature you realized he had a bad fever. And so you carried him to his room, tucking him into bed.

He woke up as you were doing that, and looked at you, utterly surprised. What was going on ?

“Get some rest buddy, you’ll feel better soon.”

You said, smiling. And at first, Damian didn’t understand. He had been so conditioned in ignoring his own well being, that he didn't realize something was wrong with him. But then, you laid a hand on his forehead, and said :

“Ah it doesn’t seem like it’s such a big sickness, I’ll go get you some medicinal tea and...What do you want to eat ? If you’re hungry ? Maybe you’re not, sometimes when I’m sick I just don’t wanna eat anything.”

Sick ? Was he...Sick ? Yes. He was. But it was so mild, that he didn’t even think he needed to rest. Or...Didn’t he ? He was just so used to still work even when sick.

“What-What about school ?”

He asked, and he was surprised his voice sounded so weak and tired. Was he always feeling like that when sick ? Yes. But...Something was different.

And then it hit him.

“I think it’s ok if you skip a few days’ buddy.”

The difference was that, when he was sick while amongst the League of Assassins, he was always terrified that his grandfather got tired of him and send him hitmen (it happened a lot before, while he was sleeping for example, and it always happened to test him, test if he was ready, and willing to kill and ask questions after). That he didn’t find him useful enough.

While here, with you, he felt safe. He felt loved. He felt warm.

And so his body wasn’t in a “fight or flight” state. He was just...sick. As any normal kid would be.

When with the Al’Ghul, he somehow managed to convince himself to keep going, to work through the pain. And oh, it’s wonders, what the brain can do when you really want to.

But here. Here he didn’t have to act tough. To keep walking or he’d end up dead. Here. Here he was safe. And loved.

So he felt the sickness, the fever. He felt it’s true effect.

“What do sick people eat ?”

He asked, and at first you didn’t think much of it. You started to tell him Dick loved chicken noodle soup while Tim preferred saltines. Cass would never eat much, neither would Jason, but they’d always say yes to some flat sodas.

He seemed unsure of what he wanted, so you asked him a simple question :

“What do you usually eat, when you’re sick ?”

It was such an innocent question. But it made him almost cry.

Usually ?

Usually...

“Well...”

He hesitates, and you sense there’s more to things than you originally thought. Finally, after looking at your encouraging smile, he says :

“When I was sick before, I still had to train. And then they’d tell me I’m weak.”

In one sentence, you understand everything. And you could punch yourself for ever thinking that he got taken care of when sick. And then the next second, you hold him tight in your arms, and once again, Damian is surprised.

But pleased. He had been touched starve most of his life, this was nice.

“My poor baby...”

He didn’t even complain you called him a baby, and let you hug him. And then...Then you spend time with him, trying to find the perfect ritual to make him feel better while he was sick.

You had such rituals with everyone. Formed on the day they first got sick. Damian needed his own thing too...

Thus was created the “couch nest”.

It involved covering the living room’s couch with at LEAST one quilt, then Damian would bring the pillows (and maybe some stuffs animals, or even real ones...Titus often sneaked in) from his bed, and you would tuck him in with one or two more quilts.

He would then spend the rest of the time watching TV and movies with you. Or with his siblings. Or his dad.

And it was so comforting, to be wrapped up like that. Almost like laying in a hug. It made him feel like he was perpetually held by you.

Damian used to hate being sick. Because he hated being weak.

But this changed. Just like he changed. Thanks to his family. Thanks to you.

Now, just like Tim, he almost loved, being sick...

************

“This sort of reminds me of that time Dick got his first fever...”

You were thinking about all those terrible, yet sweet days, of your children being sick, as you walked up the stairs to your house, a hand tightly weaved around your husband’s.

Bruce was holding a sleeping Thomas in one of his arm (the boy was so small he could even fit in one of his hand, really), and felt relaxed. Here. With his son, and his wife, the love of his life. And with the knowledge than when you’d push the door to your house open you’d-

“Father ! Mom ! How is he !?”

Both you and Bruce quickly put a finger on your lips, and Damian throws his hands on his mouth, regretting his scream. But he was just so worried.

He couldn’t come with you to the doctor’s office as he had school (plus you were pretty sure he would’ve been 100 times worst than Bruce, trying to stop Leslie by any means necessary), and had been thinking about his little brother’s first shot all day.

Damian, just like his dad, wasn’t very fond of shots. He hated that his brother (wether the youngest one, or one of the older one, really) had to go through this.

It was always silly to you, how both Bruce and Damian, who’ve been through much worst than small little shots, hated those so much...Silly, and very cute.

Damian was looking critically at his brother, checking him silently for any signs of distress, for any “mistakes” Doctor Thompkins would’ve done, and seemed satisfied that the boy was fast asleep in his dad’s arm.

And Bruce...Bruce was smiling.

He felt so relaxed. And happy.

When you pushed that door, it opened on Damian rushing to the two of you, worried about his little brother. But it also opened on Alfred, who baked some comforting food, and brewed some tea for you, knowing how hard on you this sort of things could be (and yet how you insisted to take your kids to the doctor yourself, and not let Alfred do it, because you wanted to be there for them).

It opened on Cass smiling, and ruffling Damian’s hair as to reassure him.

It opened on Tim, who took a small break from his college study to come down and spend some times with his siblings, ready to relax in front of a movie (it was family movie night !).

It opened on Duke, who’s hands were full of DVDs, and who was excited to try to convince y’all to watch “Ninja and Pirates 6″, or something of the like.

It opened on Jason, who was smiling in such a way that no one would ever know all the things he went through. And it made Bruce feel all nice and warm inside...even as the little shit mimicked him having to take a shot. Squirming and looking as if he was about to faint. And ah, he hated to admit it, but his boy was impersonating him really well.

And it opened on Dick. His first kid. The one that, one day when getting sick, was who made Bruce realize what it truly meant to be a dad. The one who knew the best how much he hated seeing any of his children sick, or getting shots.

On Dick, who was laughing really hard at Jason’s impersonation, and giving him feedbacks about what to improve to make it even better.

The door opened on his family.

And as the ruckus surrounding him woke Thomas, as Damian yelled at Jason and Dick for being so loud, and as Bruce’s eyes fell on you, while you looked at your little tribe with love in your eyes...

Bruce felt relaxed. And so, so, oh so happy.

________________________________________________

This is yet another one of those stories I’ve been posting a lot lately, that do not take me very long to write and in which I don’t put that much effort, but that I really enjoy writing nonetheless ^^. And I hope you enjoyed reading it :), I’m nervous actually this isn’t up to your standards hahaha...Yes, hope you still liked it. Don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback etc etc ^^. Thanks in advance !

See you soon with something much longer and on which I spend a lot of time working ;).

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fluffy-lee · 3 years

Text

The Last Day of June

Part 5 of the series “Vacation.”

This is a TICKLE series.

PLATONIC Avengers x reader

Warnings: Drama, angst, minor injury, bullying, & cute protective!dad!Bucky lol

Summary: Y/n deals with an injured leg the day after her accident, but the previous night’s events seem to bother her a little more.

The morning after you and Peter’s little “adventure” was different than any other mornings on the trip. Your leg hurt and you felt sore and tired. The plan for the day was for everyone to go back to the lake, but you decided to pass. You thought it would be nice to have some alone time to rest and think about some things. The only other person who was staying at the cabin with you was Tony. He claimed that he had some important work to do, even though he was on vacation, but between you and him, he didn’t actually have any work. He just wanted to stay back and rest as well.

You and Tony had been sprawled out on the couch for the last few hours eating snacks and watching a movie. You loved to spend time with Tony. He did adopt you after all, but that changed a bit when Bucky was stabilized. You and Tony were used to it being just the two of you. There was a time when Steve was gone, along with the rest of the Avengers, and Pepper was gone…

“Alright kid, it’s about time to change your bandages.” Tony said, turning the TV off.

“Is it going to hurt?” You asked, nervously.

“I don’t think so. I’ll try my best to be as gentle as possible, got it?

You nodded, trusting him, and followed him upstairs.

You sat on the counter while Tony was helping you change your bandages from last night’s accident. He was really gentle and your injuries were starting to look a little better, but your bruises were dark purple and it was not a pretty sight, but more was on your mind than the scary state of your leg.

“Tony? You know that party Peter and I went to last night?”

Tony slowly looked up at you, concern gracing his face.

“Mhm.”

“Well, there were some, uhh, cute boys there, that we met.” You said, blushing a little. Tony was probably the only person you could talk to this about, besides Natasha, Pepper, or Wanda. Bucky and Steve would freak out. Thor would probably tell everyone. Peter? Well… For some reason though, you felt like talking to Tony about it. He always gave great advice.

“Oh really?” Tony smirked.

“Yes, Tony. Lots of them.”

“So, was there one you liked more than the others?” Tony asked, still smirking. He was thinking you probably met a boy, and it was your first vacation love. Maybe you exchanged numbers and wanted to see him again. Maybe, because of the injury, you didn’t get his number and wanted to find him, Tony thought.

“Yes… there was.” You frowned. You were now feeling really scared. Was this something you should say to anyone, or should keep to yourself? You were really about to say this out loud? You were pulled out of your thoughts when Tony’s hands latched onto your sides, tickling you. You were now consumed in laughter.

“Oooh? What is his name? Huh?” Tony teased, as you laughed. He ceased his tickles to hear your answer, leaning his chin on his hand with a smile. He thought it was cute how you had a crush, but he was failing to catch onto your emotions in the moment. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw your smile fade into a frown.

“It’s Peter.” You admitted, looking down.

For the first time ever, Tony Stark didn’t know what to say.

You played with your hands.

Tony pointed to his ear, tilting his head in confusion. “I’m sorry I’m not sure I caught that. What did you say?”

“I think I like Peter.” You sighed.

“A-Are you sure, honey?”

“I don’t know. I liked him more than everyone there.”

“Y/n, how well did you get to know everyone else?” He asked.

“Not really well. I felt more comfortable with Peter. It was my first time being around so many people my age in a long time.” You explained.

Tony stopped and thought for a bit.

If Y/n really, truly likes Peter, she’s going to get hurt. He likes that MJ girl. He tells me all about her. Y/n may lose her friendship with Peter. I couldn’t bear to see that. But then again, Y/n has only ever known Peter as someone her age. It only makes sense that she would feel so confused. She’s never really been around people her age. It seems like she needs social skills. There’s got to be a way I can help her.

“I think you might be confused, Y/n. You can’t really know until you’ve been around other people your age.”

A frenzy of anger and fear began to swell in your chest. Who was Tony to tell you how you felt or what you needed? You were old enough to know for yourself! …Right?

“Ugh, I know how I feel, Tony! I thought you would help me. I shouldn’t have told you anything.” You grumbled, slipping off the counter and limping away.

“Woah woah woah, now hooold on a second! Come here!” Tony ordered, scooping you up from under your arms, placing you on the bed.

You didn’t even fight him. You just sulked, sitting on the bed, playing with your hands.

“I didn’t mean to upset you Y/n/n. I’m just looking out for you is all. I don’t want you to jump into this. You know what your saying can lead to pretty heavy stuff? You and/or Peter could get hurt.”

“Well, I don’t want that to happen.” You admitted.

“Give it some time. Explore more how you feel. Do you think you can do that?”

You thought for a minute.

Maybe Tony is right. There’s no need to jump into this. I should be careful and sure about how I feel about Peter. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I will do the right thing, and give myself some time. It should all be okay.

“Yeah, I think I can do that, Tony.” You answered, giving him that squinty smile that he adored.

“I’ll find a way for you to get to know more people your age. You can’t just be hanging around with a bunch of old farts like myself, Steve and your dad all the time. Well Steve and Bucky are waaay older than me. The dudes shouldn’t even be alive.” Tony smirked, causing you to giggle.

“Hey! Who are you calling old, huh? Steve snapped, leaning in the doorway. He had only heard the end of the conversation, but he sensed something was up with you.

“We were calling you old.” You answered absentmindedly, chewing on your lip, staring out the window.

“Oh?” Steve scoffed, collapsing on the bed, laying down next to you and Tony.

His crash to the bed bounced you out of your thoughts. You looked down at Steve with a sheepish smile.

Steve just smirked and snatched you up, holding you above him, making you break out into giggles. You looked down at his mischievous face, knowing he was about to do something. You instantly felt ticklish, curling in on yourself in your vulnerable state. Steve totally picked up on this and started to wiggle his fingers where they were resting at the tops of your ribs. Curse his super strength! You squeaked and kicked, before your giggles set in.

“Mwuahaha!” Steve whispered with wide eyes. He brought you down to kiss your cheek, and lifted you back up to tickle you some more, a soft smile gracing his face.

You still were giggling and kicking helplessly while Tony was leaned back on the pillows, recording the adorable scene on his phone to show Pepper later.

“Tickletickletickletickletickletickle.” Steve teased in a soft voice. He loved how adorable you were like this.

You were trapped in Steve’s grip, forced to look down at him as he tickled you. This made you super flustered. Your giggles were turning hiccupy and your face was pink. Steve took this as an indication to stop the torture. He brought you down to give you another kiss and flopped you down between Tony and himself. You buried your face into the bed and peeked up at Steve, making him chuckle.

“Y/n.” Tony said, turning you over to face him. “You should talk to Natasha. I think she can really help you, better than me.”

Steve and Tony exchanged looks. You nodded at Tony.

“WHERE IS MY CHILD?!” You all heard Bucky yell from somewhere in the house.

You, Tony, and Steve all broke out into laughter.

You heard Bucky’s footsteps approach closer and Steve held you close to him and Tony threw a blanket over you. The super soldier walked into the room, crossing his arms.

“Hey Barnes! How was the lake? Looking for something?” Tony asked casually.

Bucky rolled his eyes and whipped the blanket off of you, your hair falling messily all over your face.

“Give me my kid.” Bucky sighed, lifting you up baby style in his arms. “She’s mine!”

Bucky kissed your cheek and you giggled.

Steve and Tony giggled as well.

“I have to go show this video to Pepper.” Tony chuckled, walking out of the room in pursuit of his wife.

“Thank you, Tony.” You mumbled sweetly.

He gave you a nod and left.

“How’s your leg?” Bucky asked softly, gently examining it.

“It’s okay. A little sore is all.”

“Well, it’s not fair for you to stay in the house all day. How about we drive down to town and get some ice cream or something?”

Your face lit up with excitement.

“You’d like that?” Bucky grinned.

“Yes!” You cheered.

“Steve, you want to go?” Bucky asked.

Steve nodded. “I’ll drive. Make sure you go to the bathroom before we leave. It’s a long drive.” He gave you a look.

You rolled your eyes. “I will!”

Bucky carried you out to the car so you wouldn’t have to walk on your leg. Steve drove and Bucky was in the passenger's seat. You enjoyed being able to spend time with just the two of them. When you arrived at the little town down the mountain, Steve pulled up to an ice cream parlor. You all got your favorite flavors on a cone and sat outside, talking and laughing, enjoying the delicious ice cream and each other's company.

You left to use the restroom. While you were washing your hands, you noticed two really pretty girls, maybe about your age or a little older. One of them was wearing a Captain America shirt and the other one had a Captain America phone case. You felt super happy and excited, because these girls were fans, and you could introduce them to their hero. You were about to say something, when the blonde shot you a dirty look, and she and her friend snickered. You were shocked. You looked in the mirror and didn’t see anything wrong. You didn’t have any ice cream spilled on you. There was nothing in your teeth. You thought the braid Nat did on you this morning looked really nice. They started whispering to each other and looking at you. You felt really self-consious. The blonde finally spoke.

“Nice leg.” She said, but it was clear she didn’t mean it as a compliment.

You couldn’t believe what was happening. “Yeah it was an accident.”

“Oh yeah, we saw the whole thing last night. That was embarrassing.” The other girl chuckled.

You were capable of beating the both of them up, but they had managed to make you feel threatened and humiliated. You were speechless.

“I don’t understand what the problem is…” You finally replied.

“If you can’t handle our friends' parties, you shouldn’t go to them.” The blonde sneered.

“I can HANDLE them fine. You’re just being mean.”

“Well, you did show up with a guy and danced all over him. He didn’t even seem to want to be with you. He was way out of your league.” The other girl spat.

“That’s why he kept looking at us the whole time.” The blonde laughed.

You felt overwhelmed with insecurity, but you managed to stay strong. You started laughing, though your face was red with anger.

“So THAT’S your problem! Jealousy! Well, nice shirt, nice phone case. You like Captain America, huh?” You asked.

“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything?”

You just laughed at them and walked out. You limped all the way out to Steve who had just thrown his trash away and was walking back towards the table. You knew exactly what to do. You reached right up to him and started tickling his chest. Playfulness danced in his eyes and he burst out laughing, crossing his arms over his chest. His handsome, contagious laughter filled the air. It took all of his strength to bring his arms down to pick you up. He snatched you up and held you baby style. Just then, the mean girls walked out of the parlor to see you in the arms of THE Captain America, being tickled mercilessly by him. He tickled your tummy and buried his beard into your neck making you giggle uncontrollably.

The girls were stunned to say the least. If they had known who you were, they certainly wouldn’t have acted the way they did.

Steve stopped and held you in his arms. Before the girls could even think about approaching, you shot them a glare. You began explaining to Steve what just happened, pointing at the girls. They sped off towards their car, hoping to avoid confrontation.

“You know not to listen to people like that, right?” Steve asked.

“Of course.” You smiled.

“It’s taking everything in my power not to run them down right now.” Bucky fumed.

“Trust me, I got my revenge.” You chuckled slyly.

“Gimmie.” Bucky grinned, taking you from Steve.

Bucky sat in the back with you on the way home. You stared out the window in deep thought. It was the last day of June. You’d be going home on July 6th and things would be different than when you arrived at this beautiful place. It was the kind of beautiful that made your heart ache. It reminded you of how it felt to look at Peter sometimes. Why did it have to be that way? You knew that you loved him, but apparently, there were different kinds of love. You’d only loved a few people before Steve found you. In fact, Steve was the first new person you loved in about four years. All you knew is that you loved Peter specifically and unconditionally, but romantically? That’s one thing you don’t know. What a trip.

“Earth to Y/n!” Steve and Bucky said in unison, snapping you out of your thoughts. They had been talking to you and you didn’t even notice.

“Oh! I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

“Do those girls have you upset?” Bucky asked, rubbing your shoulder.

“Oh no! I’m past that, in fact I think it was funny! I can’t wait to tell Pe- ...everyone.”

“Something seems off, kiddo.” Steve stated, looking at you through the rear-view mirror.

“Honestly? I’m still really shaken up about last night. I don’t mean my leg.” You sighed.

“I’m sorry we freaked out so much. We didn’t mean to freak you out.” Bucky apologized.

You nodded, not really sure of what else to say. You gave them a soft smile. Bucky wrapped his arms around you and laid his head on your shoulder.

“We just want you to be safe… and happy.” Bucky cooed, snaking his fingers under your arms and gently shaking.

An even bigger smile cracked on your face. You certainly never minded tickles.

“Now I know this makes you happy!” Bucky teased, shaking your ribs.

You squealed and tried to scoot away, but you were trapped between Bucky and the window. You couldn’t escape if you wanted to.

“Hahaha I got you now!” Bucky laughed evilly while you shrieked with laughter.

Bucky darted his hands all around your tummy while you failed to block his “attack.” This continued all the way back to the cabin and your spirits were definitely lifted.

You limped all around the cabin searching for Peter. You tossed your conflicting thoughts from earlier to the back of your brain. That didn’t matter right now. All that mattered is that you missed him.

You were on the side yard when you heard him sitting on the back deck talking to Sam. You thought of the perfect little prank to pull on the two of them. You’d jump out and scare them! Hopefully Peter’s sixth sense wouldn’t kick in. You weren’t very threatening to him after all. You were hiding at the corner, just about to pounce, when you heard what Peter was saying.

“She’s one of my best friends already, but I just want to be more than that. She is beautiful. I mean so, so beautiful. She doesn’t even have to try, but more than that, she is extremely smart, absolutely hilarious, fascinating, and different than anyone else I have ever known. I just adore her, and I really think she likes me too.” Peter gushed.

There was the conformation you needed all along. You finally just let it go, and then it happened! He likes you. You were smiling ear to ear. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore. You felt overwhelmed by the thought that Peter was talking about you, but what absolutely crushed you is when you heard another girl's name come out of his mouth.

“M.J. is short for Michelle Jones. She’s just cool like that you know?” Peter continued.

You didn’t even think, you just wanted to get away from here. What was happening to your friendship with Peter? Why did you have to feel like it was being ruined because you didn’t understand your feelings? You finally came to what- or should I say who- you had been looking for. You just had to get out before you messed things up any further.

“Thor. I need your help.” You said to the god who was currently relaxing in a hammock. He jumped to his feet.

“Anything for you, Princess!” He said in an up-beat tone, but his face fell when he saw yours.

“I want you to take me to Asgard. I want to go right now.” You almost demanded.

“Now? But what about the others? Wouldn’t you want to tell them?”

“All I need is you, Thor, please. You promised.” You began to cry.

Sorrow and confusion filled Thor’s eyes. He wasn’t sure this was the right thing to do, but he sighed and wielded Mjölnir.

“Anything for you, Princess…”

Thor lifted you up and wrapped you tightly in his arms, lifting the magnificent hammer to the sky.

“Heimdall!”

With that, the two of you were gone.

#mcu tickle fic #marvel tickle #marvel tickle fic #fluffy-lee #bucky barnes tickle #steve rogers tickle #mcu tickle

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current-mcr-news · 4 years

Text

Behind the Scenes: The Umbrella Academy - Episode 1

BRANDON JENKINS: In 1953, a 25 year old director named Phil Tucker had $16,000 and just four days to make his first sci-fi film. The plot? A creature comes to Earth with a death ray and wipes out all of humanity, except for eight people who are immune to the creature’s weapons. He called the film Robot Monster.

Movie clip: With the swiftness of a deadly cosmic ray, the Earth is inundated by indestructible moon monsters. Their ghastly mission? Death for all humans.

B: The film was so low budget, Tucker couldn’t even afford to get alien costumes, so he had the monster in a gorilla suit with a TV for a head.

Movie clip: What astounding technical developments are being made to protect mankind?

B: The release was a disaster. It was widely panned. Its lasting legacy would’ve been that it was one of the worst movies of all time. But in the early 2000s, a kid from New Jersey with a knack for drawing comics saw a picture of the Robot Monster and it stuck with him.

Gerard Way: I’ve never even actually seen the film, but I saw pictures of this creature over the years, and they’ve got a TV set, kind of circular space looking head, and they have a gorilla body, and I was like, “I want a superhero that’s kind of inspired by this.”

B: The kid’s name was Gerard. He’d been writing comics since he was 15 and was on his way to making it as a professional comic book artist.

WAY: I went to art school and I was an illustration and cartooning major, so comics were kind of like my major, and I was like this perpetual intern. I interned at DC, I pitched a cartoon to Cartoon Network, and then I landed a job as a toy designer at this place called FunHaus in Hoboken. But that’s like right when the band took off.

B: That band, Gerard’s side hustle, would become massive alt-punk sensation, My Chemical Romance. Seemingly overnight, My Chemical Romance and Gerard were making some of the most popular music in the world, getting spins on terrestrial radio, dominating music video countdowns, they were even nominated for a Grammy. But while he traveled across the globe leading a rockstar life, Gerard kept up with his first love - drawing.

WAY: So I really missed comics and we were in Japan and we did a signing at a shop, and one of the fans gave me a little marker set and it was Copic markers. They were like the greatest markers that I’d ever used before, and so I started to create Luther.

B: Luther, a superhero with a gorilla body and space helmet who lives on the moon was the very first character Gerard drew in what would become his hit comic The Umbrella Academy. I’m Branden Jenkins and this is Behind the Scenes: The Umbrella Academy. This season, we’re going backstage and inside the making of season 2. The first season of the show, based on Gerard’s comic of the same name, launched in February of last year and quickly became one of the most beloved series on Netflix. Now it’s back for its second season with bigger effects, bigger characters, and bigger drama. We’re going to catch you up on everything that’s gone down in The Umbrella Academy universe so far, and we’ll spend the next five episodes breaking down how the team shot the multi-million dollar superhero production across two countries, and how in the midst of a global pandemic, they managed to finish it from inside their own homes. But first, we wanted to take a look back and dig into the roots of The Umbrella Academy. So today, I’m catching up with the creators of the comic and the guy tasked with making the TV series. We talk about how the graphic novel was adapted for your screens.

B: Alright, so if you haven’t watched season 1, go back and watch season 1 on Netflix. For those of you who just need a quick recap: At 12pm on October 1, 1989, a supernatural event occurred. Forty-three babies across the planet were born to mothers who were not pregnant just seconds before. The world was confused, intrigued, and one eccentric billionaire wanted to find the babies and adopt them. He ended up with seven. Each baby had a superpower, and what do you do when you’re a billionaire with a group of kids with superpowers? You train them to become a crime fighting family.

Reginald: I give you the inaugural class of The Umbrella Academy!

B: When Gerard Way started creating the members of the Academy, he started with the most fundamental material.

WAY: I created a list of all the things that interested me. It could be anything from ouija board, fortune teller, spaceman, gorilla body, just a list of stuff.

B: Then he drew from that list and started creating these characters. All in all, he would draw seven. The first, Luther, the half-man half-gorilla, was the team’s defective leader. He was also the child closest with their father.

Luther: Just at Dad’s favorite spot. Allison: Dad had a favorite spot? Luther: Yeah, you know, under the oak tree. We used to sit out there all the time, none of you ever did that?

B: Next, he created Klaus and Allison, the boy who talks to the dead and the girl who can make people bend to her will with just a few words.

WAY: Klaus, he has some pretty serious addiction and addiction is something that I dealt with in my life. He’s also a little bit spooky and supernatural, and my personality in My Chemical Romance was very similar to that.

Klaus: I can’t just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, “Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?” Luther: Since when? That’s your thing. Klaus: I’m not in the right frame of mind! Allison: You’re high? Klaus: Yeah yeah! I mean, how are you not listening to this nonsense?

WAY: He was kind of my version of Doctor Strange. I find Allison to be the one that is easiest to write and I put the most of myself into Allison.

B: Her superpower is that she can make you do pretty much anything she tells you with a few magic words.

Allison: I heard a rumor you want to be my friend. I heard a rumor that you like Bradley. I heard a rumor that you left me alone. I heard a rumor that you stop crying.

WAY: There’s a bit of a tragic nature that comes with her power.

B: Allison, out of all of her super powered siblings, is the only one grasping for a normal life - career, husband, children. In a way, she’s the most human. The fourth character Gerard created is Diego, a guy with an uncanny ability to throw knives. He’s also stubborn as hell.

WAY: I knew early on he was gonna be the one that was gonna be really difficult with the leader. I figured that.

Diego: You know, you of all people should be on my side here, Number One. Luther: I am warning you. Diego: After everything he did to you, he had to ship you a million miles away. Luther: Diego, stop talking! Diego: That’s how much he couldn’t stand the sight of you!

B: The fifth character, a kid who can travel through time and space, who simply goes by Five. Despite the other character growing up into adults, he has remained a teenager, sort of.

WAY: He was a time traveler who then got stuck in his young body when he traveled back in time because time travel is complicated.

Klaus: Where are you going? Five: To get a decent cup of coffee. Allison: Do you even know how to drive? Five: I know how to do everything.

WAY: So then came The Horror.

B: The Horror, aka Ben, aka the dead sibling who only Klaus can see.

WAY: I imagined this character that had all these monsters living under his skin that came from another dimension. And he was very tortured to me. It actually kind of hurts him and it’s scary to him.

Ben: Do I really have to do this? Klaus: Come on, Ben. There’s more guys in the vault. Ben: I didn’t sign up for this.

B: And then finally, Number Seven, Vanya, who seemingly has no powers besides playing the violin.

WAY: I was at this cafe in Manhattan when I was living in Brooklyn, and it was called The Sidewalk Cafe I believe, and on the wall they had a white violin just as decoration. And I remember looking at that and thinking to myself, “That would be a cool superhero.” And Vanya was always kind of designed to be a character who wasn’t special, that was going to transform into that.

Vanya: Look, if I was special I would’ve been in The Umbrella Academy. I’m so sorry you got stuck with the ordinary one.

B: These seven adopted siblings forced together by supernatural events formed The Umbrella Academy. Both the original comic and season 1 of the show start at the funeral for the Academy’s patriarch, the eccentric Sir Reginald Hargreeves. We learn that while the siblings ventured away from home as teenagers, after years of fighting and a toxic upbringing, they’ve returned home, back together for the first time in years, and all their dysfunctions and old conflicts come bubbling to the surface.

Diego: He was a bad person and a worse father. The world’s better off without him. Allison: Diego! Diego: My name is Number Two.

B: When he started writing the comic, Gerard was focused on his own strained relationships. He saw his band as his own dysfunctional family at the time.

WAY: When you’re a baby band, you’re in this van and it’s like a submarine but it’s smaller. It’s like a closet that you're all living in and sometimes you’re going on seventeen hour drives, and you have very strong personalities. This dynamic starts to develop between all of the members and you really do kind of become a dysfunctional family. Like, there’s times where I felt like I was the mom.

GABRIEL BA: They know each other’s weaknesses.

B: Turns out, family dynamics was a theme with everyone who joined the Umbrella team, including the illustrator and Umbrella’s co-creator, a Brazilian artist named Gabriel Ba.

BA: And sometimes they say it to hurt the other intentionally and they do that a lot in Umbrella because they’re all angry at each other all the time. And even though I have a great relationship with my brother, I have that. We have a younger sister as well, so she’s very opinionated and she’s strong. I wouldn’t say we fight a lot, but sometimes we- I just know how to hurt her if I want to say something.

B: Family is present in Gabriel’s life more than for most people. He works every day with his twin brother, fellow comic book artist, Fabio Moon. But his work made him an unconventional choice for Umbrella.

BA: In the mid 90s, we moved away from superheroes. We, my brother and I, we figured the type of story that we liked to tell and wanted to tell was more real life, day by day life relationship, this kind of stuff.

B: Gabriel grew up in Brazil and now lives in Sao Paulo. His brother had been making experimental comics for well over a decade.

BA: But The Umbrella Academy was a superhero book with this day by day life relationship drama, and that was really interesting for me.

B: What excited Gerard about Gabriel was his style. His characters weren’t macho. They didn’t have big ripped muscles. They’re the kind of comics you could imagine being drawn in the margins of a notebook. There's nothing stereotypically super about them.

BA: It was not a straightforward American superhero artstyle. It was a mix of European and more fluid, but also could handle action and crazy stuff. And also, I can’t deny The Umbrella Academy was my first paid job in the U.S.

B: Wow.

BA: For the first ten years of our career, my brother and I were making comics for free. Just for ourselves, just getting [?], if there were any. So when I got the invitation to get involved with The Umbrella Academy it was this whole package of factors.

WAY: Gabriel climbing on board was a huge thing for us because he’s such a fantastic artist. He brought these characters to life. The interesting thing about Gabriel, he didn’t have to make Umbrella Academy. He was doing really well on his own and making really experimental artistic comics, but he liked the idea so much that he said, “I’m gonna do superheroes.”

BA: The superhero aspect of The Umbrella Academy is really just a layer in the story. I like the development of these characters, their struggles, their relationships, there’s romance, there’s deception.

Vanya: You are unbelievable, you’re trying to dig up dirt on a guy I like? Who does that? Allison: Look, I’ve had my fair share of stalkers and creeps, I don’t trust him! Vanya: You mean you don’t trust me.

BA: And it had the fun explosions and action scenes. So that’s the good mix.

B: The first book of the comic is called Apocalypse Suite. After their father’s death, The Umbrella Academy gets a warning from their time traveling brother that the world is going to end in 10 days. They don’t know how, they just know that it will. And now, back together for the first time, they’ve got to figure out how to save the planet and learn how to look past their differences. Which sounds dope, right? But when it first published back in 2007, it wasn’t immediately clear that people would dig it.

WAY: So one of the things I was dealing with when Umbrella Academy came out was a lot of people in the press before the comic came out saying things like, “Here’s a musician and he’s writing a comic.” They didn’t really know my background, they didn’t know that I’d written at 15, they didn’t know I went to art school. All they knew was that I was the singer in this rock band that a lot of teenagers liked. So, all I really wanted was a fair shake. I didn’t write The Umbrella Academy to become a TV show or a film. I wrote it to be an amazing comic. But we knew that first issue, and we knew it was good, and we knew that if you didn't get it by the first seven pages you just weren’t gonna like it, and I was totally fine with that. But then it came out and then the response started to happen and then reviewers loved it and people loved it.

B: The comic went on to win an Eisner award, which is like the Oscar of comics, and pretty quickly, Gerard gets an offer to turn the comic into a full length movie.

WAY: I got swept up in the Hollywood thing.

B: But it doesn’t pan out.

WAY: That’s actually one of the reasons why there was such a big gap between comics, is because I was really, you know, I was trying- at the end of the day, I was trying to be helpful. If this was gonna be a movie version of what Gabriel and I had made, I wanted it to be great so I put in a lot of time and it kept me away from the comics.

B: But then Netflix hits you up and is interested in making this into a series.

WAY: Right.

B: I guess I'm curious, as someone who just initially wanted to make just a really good comic, what about turning that project into a television show was interesting?

WAY: Straight up, I want to make a great comic and that’s all I’m really interested in. If I can write great comics, you’ll have great material to make TV shows. So let me focus on that.

B: In other words, Gerard wanted to focus on the comics and let someone else adapt it.

WAY: And that’s when Steve came in and he changed things and he ran with it.

STEVE BLACKMAN: I’m Steve Blackman, I’m the showrunner and I’m executive producer.

B: Steve is a master at adapting books, comics, and film into television. Before The Umbrella Academy, he’d worked on shows like Fargo, Legion, and Altered Carbon, all of which originated from other sources. So he knew coming in that adaptation can be tricky work.

BLACKMAN: At first, I think Gerard and Gabriel, who co-did this with him, were very protective of the work like parents of their baby. And I think I had to prove to them initially that I would love and protect this child that they had worked on for so many years, so here I am, an outsider coming in and they were very nice to me, but I could see there was like, “Is this guy gonna totally screw up our baby here?”

B: Is it something that you can come to the table with Gerard and be like, “Hey, here’s my arsenal of adaptations, this is why it will work.”

BLACKMAN: Yeah, I worked on the show Fargo for three years. Fargo was obviously based on the Joel and Ethan Coen movie from 1996. I don’t think Gerard had ever seen my shows, I don’t think he watches a lot of television, so for him, it didn’t matter what I’d done before. It’s just what I was gonna do in the here and now on this show. I wasn’t intimidated by the challenge but I really did sort of have a sense of I know which direction I’m going.

B: What was your first initial reaction? Were you sort of like, “Oh, maybe I’ve never done anything like this, or this does feel familiar to other work that I’ve done.” Or, “I can do this, this is right up my alley.”

BLACKMAN: Well, what I liked about it from the beginning was what I saw in the subject matter and I saw a dysfunctional family. But right away, I was very inspired by Wes Anderson’s work. The Royal Tenenbaums is one of those movies that really was always something I truly loved. So, I saw that in this show.

Five: An entire square block, 42 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but not a single drop of coffee. Vanya: Dad hated caffeine. Klaus: Well he hated children too and he had plenty of us.

BLACKMAN: It was a family show, it was a very relatable dysfunctional family show that I wanted to tell.

WAY: Steve’s a great collaborator. Steve Blackman, the showrunner, he had a vision. I respected him and his vision. I realized it was gonna be different from the comic, and I let him run with it because he cared deeply about it.

BLACKMAN: My first conversation with Gerard over the phone, I said to him, I told him one of the words was subversive, we wanted to subvert the expectation of what a superhero show could be because there were many other shows, either on the air or coming down the pipe to be next, and we wanted this to stand out. And that was sort of the first hurdle with me, was to say to Gerard that I could do that and I could definitely make this thing feel special. And right away he said, “Okay, yeah. You get it.”

B: You’ve adapted something like Fargo which is a unique adaptation, right? You’re adapting from a different medium, like a feature film. Does that change the way you understand adaptation?

BLACKMAN: At a story point of view, no, I don’t think they’re that different. I think adapting a story, whether it's a graphic novel or the source material comes from a movie, a book, there’s a lot of care into doing it that the tricky thing is, I need to put my creative spin on it. I had Gerard and Gabriel, who lived with this for ten years, and then I have to come in and say, “Look, I’m going to honor you. At the same time, what is the Steve Blackman part of the show? How can I add my spin to it?”

B: For fans of the comic who’ve seen season 1 of the show, you’ll recognize some of that Steve Blackman spin. For example, the group who governs the laws of time in the comics, the Temps Aeternalis, in the TV show they become the Commission, an entire bureaucratic system running and adjusting linear time. Steve made some other changes too.

WAY: One of the things that I thought was an ingenious idea was making Ben a ghost that Klaus could communicate with. I was most impressed by that change.

Ben: You know what the worst part of being dead is? You’re stuck. Nowhere to go, nowhere to change, that’s the real torture if you gotta know. Watching your brother take for granted everything you lost, and pissing it all away.

B: Perhaps the biggest change from the comic to the show is the diversity of the characters. Diverse in race, diverse in region, diverse in sexual orientation, these characters on screen look a lot more like what the world actually looks like.

WAY: It’s built into it. They’re all from different places, they’re all from different countries, so I think that’s really the biggest improvement on the source material, is how diverse it is.

B: Steve felt the pressure of both fan expectations, and Gerard and Gabriel’s trust in him.

BLACKMAN: There’s nothing worse than having pre-existing source material and having the fans dislike it. You want to make the fans feel honored and respected, at the same time I felt it was incredibly important that Gerard and Gabriel walked out of this thinking, “He did a good job.” If they hated it, I would’ve been crushed. If the fans hated it, I think I’d also be crushed. I knew I couldn’t make everybody happy, but I wasn’t doing a page for page translation. My adaptation wasn’t gonna be that.

B: The adaption worked. Season 1 was a massive success. In the finale of the first season, the Academy thinks they’ve managed to stop the end of the world from happening, but unintentionally, they’ve actually just initiated it. The moon has been destroyed and its remnants are now heading directly for Earth.

Five: We might as well accept our fate because in less than a minute we’re gonna be vaporized. Diego: What’s your idea then? Five: We use my ability to time travel, but this time I’ll take you with me. Luther: You can do that?

B: The family, latching onto their time traveling brother Five, manage to escape the chaos. But we’re left to wonder where and when they’ll turn up, and that’s where season 2 begins.

Five: We brought the end of the world back here with us. Klaus: Oh my god, again?

BLACKMAN: It’s a pretty crazy journey this year and I think people will be hooked. I hope they binge the hell out of it and love every second of it.

B: Coming up in this season of Behind the Scenes, we’ll be taking you on that crazy journey with the people who make it happen.

“We hired meteorologists, we knew that snow was gonna come, but we had planned it. We went away for a day, we came back, and there was four feet of snow on the ground.”

“It’s 60s Dallas. Okay, so that’s a very different story for Allison. We have to talk about this somehow. Her experience is just different from her siblings.”

EMMY LAMPMAN: And a lot of people would come up to me and apologize for doing their job and I was like, “Please stop apologizing.”

“That was a wishlist fight scene that Steve had always wanted to do.”

“So we actually had our guys throwing plates up in the air and taking photos of them to try to get these UFO imageries.”

“You know, we have a new point in our resume: Can produce and deliver a show during a pandemic.”

B: Behind the Scenes of The Umbrella Academy is a Netflix and Pineapple Street Studios Production. I’m your host, Brandon Jenkins. Make sure to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. It really does help other people find it. Thank you all for listening.

#behind the scenes of the umbrella academy #episode 1 #gerard way #gabriel ba #steve blackman #full transcription

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searchingforbucky · 5 years

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FIC RECS (Part 6) :)

sorry if you got tagged in this again, I'm a dummy and deleted it on accident :(

Request: Could you recommend me some biker!bucky fics? I’ve read all of @bucky-plums-barnes’ and I’m desperate for more

Alright guys, this is my favorite fic recommendation list I’ve done thus far. Lets buckle up for my absolute favorite AU. This one is LONG. But I just couldn’t stop I love this AU too much to not go on and on lol. These fics are amazing, I tried to keep it to one fic an author, but I stated if they had more! Also the descriptions may be a little smaller, because there were so many I didn’t want this to be way too long :) And shoutout to @bucky-plums-barnes for all of their amazing biker stuff too!

Swallow by @all1e23

This fic here, is absolutely beautiful. The way Allie writes is so unique, and reading their work is always a wonderful experience. There is never an emotion that goes unfelt by the reader. This fic is a story that perfectly embodies the way love makes you act. Love isnt perfect, its heartbreak, and destruction, and pain, yet above all else its beautiful. Don’t go in expecting a fairy tail, go in expecting tangible realistic love between two broken people. Also, Allie has an amazing story called Home, that I also highly recommend.

New Girl by @omnomsauruswrites

This was the first biker Bucky story I ever read, and I think thats why its one of my favorite AUs, because I got sun a good start with this fic. I love this story. We’ve got enemies to lovers, biker bucky, and a killer plot twist that I did NOT see coming. All in all it was such a lovely story. Its shorter chapters, but every word is purposeful to making you fall in love with both characters. In the end you get a happily ever after, and you couldn’t ask for more!

Howling’ For You by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Ohh my love, my whole heart is in this fic. This is such an amazing story. I sometimes don’t love the good girl bad boy trope because its overdone and excessive, but THIS. This is so well done, is he protective? Yes. But does he also know she is perfectly capable of being an independent human? Yes! There were so many twists and turns and absolutely heartwarming love between the two characters. I also love how in character every person is. Amazingly well done, would read it every day if I could.

Wild Horses by @whitewolfbumble

Bad Boy exterior SOFT boy middle?? Yes! This fic is so adorable. It really shows the build of the relationship, and thats always my favorite part. It was such a true to life story in my opinion, the reader started of lost and finding her place in the world, then this lovely group of people just accepted her and helped her through her tough times. It was such a heartwarming read, with angst that just solidified the connection between the characters. And the friendship they all had was so refreshing compared to some stories where people are just rude for no reason. Its a short yet sweet read, and I 100% recommend it.

Long Way Round by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan

This was a hard one to choose, so many amazing biker stories they’ve written! But im a sucker for series’ and this series is so awesome. I LOVE Plus size reader stories, hell yeah representation! Now this story is a TRIP! Its like a really good episode of criminal minds. There are so many details jam packed into this that I couldn’t put my phone down! Shady gangs, corrupt leaders, and a smart as hell reader. This was just such a good read, not even for Bucky, but just for the incredible story telling. Sweet protective Bucky is always a plus though. Also, check out their other amazing stories like The Bounty, and Red Star Rebel, they’re just as amazing as this one!

A Real Sweet Guy by @mycupoffanfiction

I remember when I first read this it was only a oneshot and I was super sad, but then BOOM it turned into an adorable series. Its not done yet but its so good so far! Its the epitome of soft baby boy Bucky under a hard tough guy exterior. The way Ellie portrays relationships between characters is so cute, you feel the love between everyone whether that be platonic or romantic. Its through details that she sets up this lovely little universe that you just get sucked into, and honesty im fine staying there lol. I cant wait to read more of this one!

Rebel by @promarvelfangirl

Okay for this, just a warning, my device has a little trouble with the master list so it may be easier to use the desktop version :) Okay about the story, holy hell this one is cute. Bucky is HOPELESS, and just wants a date, Peter has the worst timing, and Steve just is along for the ride. I love mutual pining fics where one is completely oblivious to the other trying to ask them out, and the other is just trying their best lol. I felt like banging my head on the table very time Bucky got too nervous, but alas! It worked in the end, adorable little fic. They also have a cute set of biker Bucky stories called Fancy hair that I love so much.

Born To Run by @softbiker

Slow burn baby! This one is still in progress but hot damn is it good so far. I love this trope of the girl not really wanting anything to do with the guy but the guy and his friends being like well thats too dang bad! I love the idea that family isn’t what you’re born with, its who you love and who loves you. This fic is absolutely lovely so far, and though obviously I don’t know much about where its going to end up, where it is right now is good enough for me to put it on this list!

Notorious by @interestedbystanderwrites

I know I’ve been going on and on about how much I love Soft sweet Bucky. But I also LOVE badass tough guy who is very scary Bucky. And oh baby is this the perfect fic for that! Bucky is a felon, and a hot one at that. And what he sets his eyes on, he gets. That thing just so happens to be the all to trusting reader. This is such a thrilling fic. It reminds me of baby driver for some reason. I love seeing the cracks that show a bit of sweet Bucky. It leaves me waiting for more! He’s her addiction, she cant help but to stick around. Such a good fic, I cannot wait for more of it!

Deny Me by @brooklynsboys

This fic made my heart turn to mush. Its about an insecure reader, and a tough buck who has the softest heart ever but doesn’t know how to show it sometimes. My absolute favorite bucky is the bucky that only his girl gets to see, and this is the perfect representation of that. The way they write is spectacular. They get you to completely understand the feelings the character has without literally just writing it. You are right there in the world with them, feeling what they feel. And who doesn’t love a perfect happy ending?

Whatever it Takes by @sgtjbuccky

Oh Buddy, lets talk about how much I LOVE this fic. Bucky is the biggest charming jerk there is, but you love to hate him. I was smiling the whole way through this read. Literally my face hurt by the end I was smiling so big! It was cute, and I felt every frustration, yet every single bit of the tension they had. The reader is a smart little cookie, and bucky is too cocky for his own good. If you want a cute extremely well written fic, this is the place to go!

Tender Surprises by @empyreanwritings

Jesus, talk about tooth rotting tear jerking fluff. You know those videos where the child asks a pseudo-parent to adopt them? Yeah, thats this perfectly embodied in a fic. I cried, read it again, then cried some more. I love how it mixes tough biker Bucky with soft non-toxic masculinity father. We need more of that. It was so perfectly written, the flashbacks are perfectly placed, and give another layer of depth into this familial relationship they have. I love Dad!Bucky and Biker!Bucky, so to have them wrapped into on is perfect.

Softail by @nacho-bucky

Theres something about the way Cait writes thats just poetic. She could write about my morning routine and it would be art. This fic is no exception. Its the cutest little thing, two people in a diner, brought together by chance and a little bit of courage. Its an adorable little story about trust, and taking a chance. Bucky is supportive and encouraging, reader is a little scared. But it all works out in the end, because everything is okay when you’re with the one you love. 10/10.

You Give Love, A Bad Name by @em-imagines

I love stories like these. The cocky boy chasing the uninterested girl, yet there is obviously some tension there? Yeah, thats my cuppa tea right there. Also, its a high school AU! Love those. This story is definitely a mixed bag of feels. You get the super cute chase, but you also see a raw side of Bucky, and his unfortunate home life. As sad as it is, I think its a good representation of true life, where there is always something that you don’t know about someone. Theres vulnerability to this, and that makes it such a lovely story to read. Incredibly well done.

What’s On The Inside by @revengingbarnes

Is this technically a mechanic and not Biker AU? Yes. But he rides a motorcycle and its too good to not mention lol. This fic is ADORABLE. Mutual Pining! Shy flirting! Instant Connection! Bike Riding! Its incredibly well done too. Its just one of those feel good stories, it makes you smile, and want to get to know more about the characters. Soft Beefy bucky is my favorite boy, and this is SUCH a good representation of him. My heart was mush the whole way through. 10/10 would read again (for the 12739th time)

Broken by @allthebucky now on @poeticbarnes

Forbidden lovers y’all, thats it. Like Romeo and Juliet except Bucky is a dummy who doesn’t know the right thing to do, and the reader just wanted truth. Its a short but sweet little fic, theres so much emotion packed into the story too! You feel the pain the reader and bucky hold at different times, but you also feel the longing as well. Its such a cute relationship they have, and I’m always a sucker for bucky putting the reader first!

Over The River and Through the Woods by @geminimoonbeamx

Sure its only September, but that doesn’t mean its not time for a killer Christmas Fic! Also another plus size reader hell yeah! I LOVE the domesticity from this! Its like Love Actually, a bunch of absolutely crazy people coming together, and the reader and Bucky are just trying to get out alive lol. It also really sweet in dressing what its like to be without those you love on holidays. A perfect balance of sweet and serious. Its so cute, and so funny. I have a non conventional family so I can relate to this so much. The love between the two is so palpable and so heartwarming.

Home Sweet Home by @sweet-barnes

Their name says it all. This story is just one big ball of sweet biker Bucky and his sleepy gal. I am always looking for those small tooth rotting fics just to boost my feelings for a day and oh man is this is. Bucky is the biggest cuddle bug in history and not even his scary biker persona can change my mind. This fic made me smile so hard, and then want to take a nice nap with the teddy bear Bucky Barnes himself.

Skin by @captain-ariel-barnes

Okay I love this one because I’ve not read another like it. I love how she portrays Bucky as having been in an accident and having memory problems because of it. Its so real and sad when you think about it because its entirely realistic and truthful to life. And boy is Bucky not just the sweetest thing ever. He wants to remember his girl no matter what, so he makes it permanent. Their relationship is so cute. I just love soft Bucky with my whole heart. Amazing story, so well done!

The Mailbox by @kaunis-sielu

This one was one of the first one shots I read of biker bucky and I still love it so much! Bucky is such a softie, running into mailboxes fixing them, even having Steve paint it? Okay big bad biker guy, you sure are scary… Also, protective bucky yeah baby!! Hell do what he needs to to keep the reader safe, and oh baby if that isn’t like my favorite trope ever. Also the little sassy elements are hilarious. I also recommend their other biker fics such as Stitches, or Just Married. :)

Oh god. That was a long one. Would you believe me if I said I had to cut it from 37 to these 20 here? Hardest decision of my life lol. Thank you all so much for reading until the end. I hope you all love these fics as much as I do! :)

#bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky fic #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fluff #bucky angst #biker!bucky #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #searchingforbucky #bucky series #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #ficrecs

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scifellaus · 4 years

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Fell walked past the door to Sci's "lab", aka the basement, paused, and took a couple steps back to stare through the doorway.

"Sci?"

Sci glanced up innocently from where he was leaning over a metal table.

"Yes, love?"

Fell stared at the mismatched body parts on the table. Connected to the body by several wires were monitors and IV bags. There was a bottle of red glowing fluid, a scalpel, and a syringe on the rolling tool table next to Sci. Sci stuck the sewing needle in his hand in a pincushion next to the right arm.

"Sci, what are you doing?"

"Working."

"On what?"

"Our child."

Sci picked the needle out of the cushion and returned to painstakingly stitching the flesh together as his husband squeaked and sputtered in the doorway.

"SCI!"

Sci sighed and looked back at Fell.

"Yes?"

"When were you going to tell me about this?!"

"I thought I did?" Sci asked, confused.

"No!"

"Oh." Sci put the needle back down and walked over to stand in front of him. He put his hands on Fell's shoulders. "I'm pregnant." Fell buried his face in his hands.

"Sci…"

"No, it's fine, it's going to be okay this time! I've been looking at the medical records, and things only fall apart when it's time for the baby's body to develop, so if I can get the body stable-"

"Sci."

"-and I got some DT from the Lab! This is it, Fell, I can feel it-"

"SCI!"

Sci fell silent. Fell sighed and gently grabbed Sci's hand.

"I know you want this to work out, okay? I do too. But we can't break the laws of nature every time things don't go our way. This-" Fell's voice broke. He cleared his throat and swiped at his eyes. "Maybe we should just accept that we're not going to be able to have kids. You know you'll be wrecked if this doesn't work, Sci. Maybe it's best if we just... try adoption or something."

Sci scowled.

"This is going to work. This has to work, Fell."

"No! It isn't! Sci, you have to give up sooner or later or it's going to drive you crazy! Hell," Fell waved his arm towards the creation on the table, "you're making a Frankenstein, Sci. A Frankenstein. This is too far. You need to let it go. You can't change the laws of nature." With that, he stomped away and to their bedroom, curling up into a miserable ball under the sheets. Sci turned back to his precious child and gently stroked it's cheek.

"It's a stupid law, so I've decided to ignore it," he whispered to the lifeless form on the table. He went to the empty soul incubator on the counter and carefully pulled the new soul from his chest.

"Just a little longer. I promise."

---~~~---

Things were tense between Sci and Fell for a while after that. The body in the basement, now fully completed, remained a subject of intense debate between the two. The tiny soul in the incubator was the source of many, many tears on Fell's part. Sci hated seeing him so heartbroken. That's why this had to work- neither of them could stand losing another child.

Sci squatted down to check on the soul.

"Almost done in there?" He checked his notes. "Right on time. Good job, buddy. Your dad's gonna be so proud of you." He smiled. "I know I am."

His lab coat swished behind him as he went to the body's side.

"Look at this. You're going to be so handsome!" Sci cooed. He'd done well with the design. Their baby was going to be fully functional and, more importantly, healthy.

"Just got to get you in your body, start it up, and then you can come and live with us, okay? Okay." Sci took a deep, deep breath and let it out slowly. Months of experimentation, blood, sweat, tears, and determination were about to pay off.

"Let's get started."

The first thing was to start the body- the heart needed a quick shock to get it beating. Fleshy people anatomy was weird and vaguely horrifying, Sci found, but this would be the safest bet for the young soul, as a body solely comprised of bones required a bit more magic and wouldn't hold DT as well, and he didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. He hooked up the body to the generator and sent a small jolt. Three tries later, he had a pulse.

Next, he gingerly lifted the soul out of the incubator and held it in front of the chest until it formed an attachment with a little help from him. Perfect. Everything was going great. He watched the monitors. His child was going to make it this time. The soul had already connected to the live body. If it was still alive when Fell woke up, everything would be golden.

Now came the scary part.

Sci had gone back and forth on putting the DT in his kid. They would have a will to live, yes, but the powerful substance could do more harm than good, and they might survive without it anyway. He'd double and triple and quadruple checked all of the notes, he'd done tests, he'd interviewed the Amalgamates (as much as he could, anyway) and Alphys in-depth. He knew what there was to know about the effects of determination.

He pulled a sterilized syringe from the counter and drew a few drops of glowing red essence. He watched his creation breathe for a moment, hesitant, and slowly injected the fluid into his child's arm. He waited in terrified silence for the consequences, for his child's soul to crack, to shatter, for the body to melt like plastic on a hot stove.

…

Nothing happened.

Sci's baby's breath kept coming in slow, rhythmic puffs, body unharmed and soul unchanged, save for a barely visible pink tinge. He smiled so wide it was almost painful.

"Look at you!" he whisper-shouted. "You're doing so good! Just keep doing what you're doing, baby."

Sci slowly edged the breathing tube from the body's mouth and replaced it with an oxygen mask. The Labs had been very accommodating, not that anyone knew he'd been there.

"Fell- that's your dad, you haven't met him yet, but you're going to soon- he's going to be so excited to meet you! I mean, we still have a lot to talk about, but you don't need to worry about that. I wonder what we'll call you. I've been thinking of names for an age and a half, of course, but I think he should have a say in the matter, you know?" Sci blabbered to his unconscious newborn.

Fell was going to love them.

---~~~---

"Sci?" The scientist turned at the sound of his husband's voice in the doorway.

"Fell!" His voice was hoarse from hours of talking to their sleeping child, the bags under his eyes slightly darker from staying up all night. Fell sighed and took a careful step into the cluttered basement.

"Sci, did you get any sleep last night?" Sci grinned, not even slightly sorry.

"Nope. I was a little busy last night with…" he pulled a blanket from the table with a flourish. "This!" He grabbed the body's shoulder and shook it gently. "Come on buddy, time to get up."

Before Fell's very eyes, the eyes flickered open and the being on the table made a fussy noise.

"Holy shit," he breathed.

"Fell," Sci said smugly, "meet our baby."

"Holy fucking shit."

"....So…what do you want to call them?" Sci glanced back at the spot where his husband had been, only to find it empty. He looked back to see Fell on their newborn's other side, staring at them with a look of utter adoration and tears streaming down his face. The baby waved their arm at him. "Fell?"

Fell sniffed.

"Can. Can we call them Grel?"

"Grel?" Sci repeated.

"Yeah," Fell said softly, gently petting the child's head. Sci smiled. He knew it would work out okay.

"Grel it is then."

#scifell #guess they've got a frankenbaby now haha whoops #past miscarriage

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adventuringsidhe · 3 years

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A Discovery of Witches Season 2 - I Have Issues With This Season!

Before anyone gets defensive, I do like this show. It’s not my favourite TV show, but I’ve been very reserved in liking a show too much after Game of Thrones. Seriously, that show ruined my way of enjoying a show forever. The last two season, whatever you felt about GOT, in terms of storytelling, it was a disaster and decisions made within it were stupid and non-sensical. But I digress (even thinking about it makes me irritated).

A Discovery of Witches Season 2 was a long, drawn out bore fest. If I’m to sum it up, that is how it felt. There is one thing that really bothered me more than anything by the last episode and this may seem trivial but it made me dislike the main characters (which I was struggling to like throughout this whole season anyway).

Jack.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, in season two, Diana brings a little orphan boy into her and Matthew’s tudor home, feed him and gives him a place to stay. They then go on throughout the entire season to allowing him to grow attached like family to them (we’re talking months here if not over a year). Give him education, reading, and caring for him at night when he has night terrors etc. Basically adopting him. So, why am I so bothered? Well, by the end of the season, Diana is pregnant, and their going back to the present. So they just say their goodbyes to Jack and leave.

That pissed me off so badly I can’t reconcile with them as characters. It was obvious he had grown attached to them, bonded, and basically like family, even mother and father to him, only for him to be left behind by them. I think that is pretty shitty no matter how you look at it. Whether intentional or not, they brought him into their home and treated him like their own child, but then at the last moment because they’ve to come back into the present era, they leave him. I don’t know, but I just found that whole story line a little shitty. Jack had no family and was living on the streets, stealing because he was hungry, only for this couple to give him a home and only later abandon him again. Shitty.

It honestly reminded me of that Youtube couple who adopted a child that had needs, only to ‘return’ him a while later because they couldn’t cope with him, while giving a sob story and a few tears.

I was struggling to like Matthew throughout this whole season, he acted really shitty towards Diana, which bothered me so much, and it was all played down as ‘protecting her’. Bsht. ‘But look how good he was with Jack?’ Yeah, that was the only good thing about him this season, and then made worse by his easy disconnection when they had to leave by the end of it.

I know some fans will disagree with me and excuse this behaviour because their from the future and Jack is from Tudor times, so blah blah reasons. I get it, you love these characters, but I just didn’t this season, and major flaws in their ‘good’ persona broke through which just weren’t nice at all.

So yeah, I didn’t appreciate them taking in an orphan and making him feel like family, only to abandon him at the last moment because you got to return to the future and you’re pregnant. Kinda shitty in my opinion.

Matthew - Blood Rage.

Never mentioned in the first season, and honestly - it was such a lame thing. Another vampire series where you never see the vampire’s teeth. This is getting boring and kind of childish. A series that has magic, blood, violence, sexual moments, doesn’t have vampire teeth? Boring. Sorry not sorry. The vampires in this world are boring, not scary, not even interesting. Matthew is made out to be a good vampire, who restrains himself, blah blah crap, but honestly - I have more connection to Lestat, Lois, Claudia, Blade, Stefan, Eric, Pam even Bill (William Compton) etc. Matthew though? No, he just wasn’t as good this season. They tried to make him have a ‘issue’ because of the time, etc, but I just thought he was a bit of an dick. Blood rage also was a poor excuse and given a modern plot too, with some character had blood rage, along with Marcus. Anyway, I just didn’t like him this season or the whole ‘blood rage’ excuse.

Diana.

Look, I appreciated the whole ‘’They’re not teenagers’’ thing when it came to this show, same with True Blood. I hate teenage romances or that follow teenagers around as if they have more years of experience than a 30 something. I appreciate the change of audience, the maturity, the complexity, the lived in past, all those things that come with older characters that I can relate too so much more than a teenager. Which is why I like vampire shows like True Blood, movies like Interview with the Vampire, Blade, Vampire Hunter D etc. They are fantastic, deeply complex characters with amazing stories.

Diana though...meh. I was so into the magic thing in the first season, what drew me to it, not the vampires (lost interest once I knew I wouldn’t see the teeth). However, this season, I’m so over the ‘’must protect Diana’’ thing, I just found myself nodding off in parts. She’s treated like a sacred divine being, and the only one of her kind. Those ‘’chosen one’’ stories can be intriguing in some cases like Harry Potter, who, grew over time and had complex emotions about it, and he did suffer immensely for being the ‘’one’’. Diana however, this season - is a bit of a bitch. A know it all. A little too smug.

I’m also tired of the whole ‘’rich vampire who played a role in major historical things’’. The rich vampire who can give you the world is a nice thought, but I don’t like it all that much, it just makes it harder to buy into the whole secrecy, living in the shadows stuff. It seems everyone in Tudor times knows about Vampire, Witches and Daemons, so...a bit weird honestly.

Diana getting pregnant I knew was coming, as its apparently in the books too (not into the books, sorry). But, it’s another cliché like Twilight. Honestly, this is very similar to Twilight but their older. Yeah. And Diana has magic and apparently the most powerful being on the planet. I get that their these incredibly intertwined lovers who were destined for each other across time and space, which is all nice and everything, but Jesus....is their no one else or anything else important to them at all? I also thought it was cheap as f**k bringing Diana’s dad in at the last moment, as this emotional weight, which just didn’t do it for me at all. It’s really sad to say this but I lost all connection to Diana this season, and to their love story. It fizzled out faster than my lemonade when I leave it to sit in a warm spot.

The Other Characters

Their really wasn’t that much time with them at all to bond with. Marcus’s relationship with the auctioneer woman? That escalated quickly. Seriously, one moment their having a one night stand, to the next, he tells her all the secrets of his world and bringing her to France and meeting Ysabeau. Is he planning on staying with her forever now? Like what is going on there? No interest.

I wanted to know more about this baby born of Daemons but damn they left it so late and gave so little time and by the end it’s hard to care about everything. These stories really need to stop trying to add multiple characters and stories into a just one story. Just make one story. Not several packed into a main one. Flesh it out better, slower with other characters.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the aesthetic of this world, the design, the beauty of it. Even the magic is interesting, to a point, if a little simple for my taste. I do appreciate what they’re trying to do, but once again the stories fall flat, the characters become distant to the audience (talking of myself, maybe others don’t feel that way), and not relatable at all. This is fantasy, and we can’t related in many ways, but their lives, choices and feelings do make it relatable. I remember watching Interview with the Vampire and seeing how much consequences Lois’ choices caused him, it was devastating because you knew Lois had to make a choice which wasn’t always right and it burdened him immensely. Even as bad as the last few seasons of True Blood were, their were heavy, heavy consequences on all the characters for everything that had happened throughout the show and all the years.

This show just felt very Twilight by this second season, and as much as Twilight is okay back in the day, now it feels outdated in terms of relationships, intimacy, toxicity, danger, and other things important to us in terms of love, romance, family and friendship.

Another tv show I’ve been disappointed in unfortunately, like Game of Thrones, Outlander (even though the standard is still there, the story has gone off too far not for me to hold interest anymore), are but a few that I was really into and then slowly they veered off course and so did my love for them. Same with A Discovery of Witches, which is only in its 2nd season but already it feels flat.

Anyway, rant over lol! Only my opinion, you can love it or not, just a random opinion on a personal tumblr page.

#a discovery of witches #vampires #witches #all souls series

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stattic-writes · 5 years

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Strongest Pt 2

https://statticscribbles.tumblr.com/post/639099629845233664/masterlist

Support My Writing?

#sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #jordan connor #jordan connor imagine #riverdale #riverdale cw #riverdale imagine #riverdale fandom #riverdale reader insert #riverdale request #if the riverdale writes dont need a proper timeline i dotn either #written #female reader #female reader insert

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intothestarkerverse · 5 years

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Family Ties - Starker Week (Day Six)

Summary: For @starkerweek day six’s prompt, Family Ties and @starkerbingo ‘s prompt, Kid!fic.

Peter finds something unexpected at the lair of his newest villain and finds himself embarking on a new adventure with his husband.

“Karen, could you get Tony on the line, please?”

“Of course, Peter.”

Silence and then…

“Pete?”

“Hey, Tony, ummm…could you…would you mind…tracing my location and getting here like…as fast as you can?”

“Peter, baby, are you hurt?” Something in the tone of that question and Tony’s choice of words made Peter laugh.

“Don’t pretend that you’re not looking at a readout of my vitals right now,Tony. You know I’m fine. I just…I really need you right now. I have a problem and…I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, hold tight.”

Okay, good. Help was on the way. But he was still alone with… Oh boy.

Peter stood in the middle of the lab staring at the cause of all of his consternation. “Um..hey…”

He was rewarded with a succession of high pitched wails.

“Oh! Oh, geez, oh don’t cry…” Peter stepped closer, jumping back again when the wail became a scream of terror. “Oh! Oh, shoot, the mask. I bet that’s really scary, huh? I’m sorry.” He ripped it off, “See, look. Just a guy under there. Just a boring guy.”

The baby stopped screaming, but it kept up a high pitched whimper as it stared with watery eyes and quivering lips at the superhero who seemed incredibly out of his element. Peter edged forward slowly, reaching out with a hand as if he was trying to pet a stray dog and not comfort a terrified child. “C’mon, little guy, I just want to help you. What are you doing here? Did Jackal kidnap you or something? I promise I’ll find your mommy and daddy for you, okay? Everything…everything will be fine.”

The baby didn’t wail or scream as Peter slowly reached out and awkward scooped him up. “You’re really cute, you know that?” He tweaked one of the baby’s chubby cheeks and gently tried to brush away the tears that had fallen from his honey brown eyes. The little boy was mostly bald save for a few wispy curls that stuck up haphazardly from his soft head. Peter snuggled the baby closer, pleased with the way he curled a little fist against Peter’s chest and rested his head on Peter’s shoulder. Peter couldn’t help but brush his lips over the baby’s head in a little kiss and inhale deeply. “Oh, you smell good. I guess…I guess babies really do have a smell, huh?” He hummed softly, bouncing the baby a little in his arms and swaying from side to side. “S’Okay, everything’s okay.”

“Peter!”

Spider-Man let out a soft curse. “Shhh! I just got him to sleep.”

“What? Him? Him who…Oh my God.” The Iron Man suit froze in the doorway at the sight that greeted him. All of the scenarios he’d been running through in his head, finding his husband with a strange baby was the last thing he was expecting to see. “Pete…”

“Take off the suit, if he wakes up you’re going to scare the poo out of him.”

As the suit melted back into its containment unit, Tony crossed the distance between himself and his husband in a few quick strides. “What on earth…”

“I found him. He was just…he was just here in the lab and no one was watching him or anything. It didn’t seem safe.”

“Why does the Jackal have a baby?”

“I don’t know. But I don’t know anything about babies, Tony. Like less than nothing, and you have a daughter so…” Peter gestured at the baby. “Do a dad thing.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Having a daughter does not make me a baby whisperer. Besides, you seem to be doing fine on your own.”

Peter glanced down at the baby again, gagging a little at the pool of drool gathering on the shoulder of his Spider-Man suit. “Well…be of some use, okay? Find out who he is and where his parents are or something.”

Tony rolled his eyes for a second time, but turned to the computers and began booting them up one at a time. “Well, it’s a cinch that the kid doesn’t belong to Jackal.”

“Why do you say that?” Peter asked, jostling the baby slightly in his effort to stop the drool from dripping down his chest. The movement woke the baby who let out an angry wail.

“What did you do?” Tony’s tone was accusatory.

“He was drooling on me…”

“He’s a baby, Peter, that’s literally all they do. You know what, you’re not doing okay. Give him here.” Tony took the baby, cooing to him softly as he studied the kid more carefully. “Looks familiar…”

“All babies look alike, how can you tell?”

“All babies do NOT look alike.”

“Whatever.” Peter began searching the tables for a tissue or a stray cloth he could use to dab away the drool from his shoulder. “Uh…Tony…” Peter was holding a few pieces of paper in his hands, a heavy frown forming on his face. “Is this…” He held out the schematics. “It looks kind of…”

Tony looked up from the baby long enough to squint at the papers. “Medical device. Looks almost like cryogenics chamber but not quite…” He gasped and looked down at the baby in his arms again. “More like an artificial womb…”

“So it is Jackal’s baby, then?”

“I don’t think so…” Tony shifted the baby to his hip and turned to the computers. Even with one hand, the genius was able to cut through all of the Jackal’s security and open the desktop to look at his work. “Well…I know why the baby looks so familiar.”

“Why?” Peter was at work furiously trying to scrub away the drying drool with a wadded up piece of paper.

“He’s you.”

“What?” Peter dropped the paper, staring at Tony with wide, confused eyes. “How can he be me? I’m me and I’m not a baby…am I?”

“No, but it looks like Jackal was obsessed with cloning you…first one didn’t work out the way he wanted. This one. This one worked.”

Peter blinked at the baby, trying to call up mental images of his own baby pictures. “Why does Jackal want to clone baby me?”

“He doesn’t want a baby you. It would appear that he’s testing methods for advanced aging, memory transferal. He’s trying to clone you, and he’s not too far off from succeeding…”

“That’s freaky.”

“Yeah…and against a whole slew of international laws, not that he probably cares cause…supervillain. Clearly we can’t leave the kid here, and we’re going to have to destroy this lab. Find him. Stop him. I doubt his plans for you were good if he was making a replacement for you…” Tony turned his attention back to the baby. “And I thought you were an adorable adult…”

Peter blushed and felt incredibly stupid for doing that. “Okay, destroy the lab. What do we do with the baby…”

Tony shrugged. “Take him home until we can figure out what to do with him, I guess…”

~ ~ ~

“Happy said he’ll be here with diapers in…” Tony’s voice trailed off as he entered the bathroom and stared in horror at what greeted him.

Peter, on the other hand, looked incredibly proud. He was holding the baby who, in lieu of a diaper, was now wearing a sponge and a dish towel held in place by a terry-cloth work-out headband.

“Peter…”

“I improvised!”

“I can see that.”

“I think he likes it.”

“I think he feels sorry for you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, Pete. I just hope Happy gets here before the kid needs to use that monstrosity.”

He didn’t.

~ ~ ~

“Tony!”

Peter’s frantic screams brought Tony to the kitchen in a complete panic.

“Tony, help me!” Peter was on the ceiling, crouched and turning green as the baby seated in a pile of cushions on a chair near the breakfast nook projectile vomited.

“I think he’s possessed, Tony.”

“I think you gave him more than the bottle I told you to, didn’t you?”

“He was hungry! And he’s me and I hate to be hungry and my metabolism is really fast and so he probably needs to eat more like me and so I got him another bottle…”

“And you over fed him. This is what happens when you overfeed a baby, Peter.”

“Make it stop!”

~ ~ ~

The bedroom was incredibly quiet. Too quiet. Tony was actually worried that one or both Peters were dead. It was the only thing he could think of that would account for that level of quiet. He probably shouldn’t have left Peter alone with the baby again, but Fury had a lot of questions about the baby and Tony knew Peter was probably anxious to get him off to a foster family as fast as possible. He’d never seen anything quite as hopeless as his husband and his clone.

The sight that greeted him was one of the most heartwarming he’d ever seen. Peter and his clone were fast asleep, the baby fast asleep on Peter’s chest. Maybe they were growing on each other…

~ ~ ~

“Peter, what did you order from Amazon Prime, now?” Tony came into the living room carrying a box which he deposited in the floor next to his husband where the younger man was playing with a giggling baby and an iron man plushie.

“I found a onesie that Ben needs to have.”

“Ben?”

“Yeah, we can’t call him ‘the clone’ and Peter’s already taken. So Ben. Feels right, huh, Ben?”

The baby let out a long string of nonsense and deposited the iron man plushie’s arm in his mouth.

Tony raised an eyebrow but nodded towards the box. “Well, let’s see it.”

Peter grinned and ripped into the tape, shaking the red and blue onesie out and flipping it around to show him the ‘Spider-Baby’ written on the front.

Tony snorted. “I should have known.”

“Well, he is a Spider-Baby.”

“You better hope not. The second he starts crawling up the wall…”

“Don’t mind him, Ben, he’s just jealous that we can climb the walls and we can’t…”

~ ~ ~

“Nick Fury is NOT taking our baby.”

Tony stopped dead. “What?”

“Ben is staying here with us. I’m not letting S.H.I.E.L.D. take our baby. Who knows me better than me?”

“Me.”

“Exactly my point! We need to be his dads. We were talking about adopting, right? Well Ben needs a family and we can be his family and I am not letting anyone take my baby. I know he was scary at first, but I’m getting the hang of it and you’re a pro and we can do this! Besides, Morgan would be such an awesome big sister! Please, Tony, can we keep him?”

“He’s not a dog, Peter. This is a child…”

“This is OUR child.”

Tony snorted, “Yeah, okay, this is OUR child…but you’re not spoiling him, Peter.”

“What?” Peter looked up from his phone.

“Did you just order something else from Amazon Prime?”

“Just a few toys…and clothes…and maybe a changing table…”

“Peter!”

“Do you want to learn how to climb ceilings, Benny? We might need to make a quick escape from Papa...”

#starker #starker week 2019 #starker bingo 2019

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splattales · 5 years

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Fifteen Questions. Fifteen Mutuals.

Repost, don’t reblog!

(HEY DID Y’ALL KNOW I HAVE LIKE 1,000 MUSES? I’LL DO THEM ALL. HERE’S A READMORE FOR YOU. SORRY MOBILE USERS)

1. Are you named after anyone?

Molly: Sorry, nah. Can’t really ask anyone though.

Finn: I believe my first name is my grandfather’s middle name. Dad’s side.

Marina: Maybe? I think I was named after a historical figure, but it’s, like, a really popular name anyway...

Brine: Nope! Just salty water.

Pansy: I’m named after a flower. It’s a tradition in my fam’bly to name your first-hatched after a flower...

Ribbon: Momma’s a Ribbon Eel!

Slushie named himself -- though technically, he’s named after a beverage.

Tay: Yes! Many rulers in my bloodline were also named ‘Octavio’.

Sabi: It’s shortened from ‘Wasabi’. Not very creative, I know, but ... I’ve had a few names. This is just the one I’ve gotten used to.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Molly: Nunya bizness. (About three days ago.)

Finn: I’m actually quite happy at the moment! Maybe two weeks?

Marina: I don’t ever cry, duh. (Last week after spilling her meal on the floor.)

Brine: Yesterday! Don’t worry, it was just a touchy subject that came up. Always cry when you need to, it can really help.

Pansy: Haven’t in a fair bit, I think I cried on Groa the other day about somethin’ real dumb. One of my workmates left n’ I burnt dinner n’ then something else happened and just… well, I sure hope he doesn’t think I’m weird ‘cause of that, eheh.

Ribbon: It was my birthday recently, so I haven’t felt like crying! I dunno.

Slushie cried the last time he ate a memcake, so two days ago.

Tay: That isn’t any of your business. (Ten minutes ago.)

Sabi: Sometimes I cry when I’m listening to sad music, so, um… Tuesday?

3. Do you have kids?

Molly: No! Adopting might be cool when I’m older, but I’m only 19 and I have way too much to deal with already!

Finn: Do I look like a father? I’m still in uni! … That said, a few of my classmates have kids, it’s really strange.

Marina: No, but I have younger siblings, so I know how to take care of ‘em. … I don’t think I’m gonna want kids for a while, if ever.

Brine: Haha! No! Maybe someday.

Pansy: Slushie’s my kid! He’s adopted, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t family. I hope he knows that.

Ribbon: You’re funny! Sometimes I pretend my dinosaur toys are babies, and then we destroy the town as a powerful army.

Slushie is 15 years old!

Tay: I think Reed could be considered my ‘child’, but I’m still not altogether sure about that. And Masako, I think? But I never had any children in this timeline, so it’s a little confusing…

Sabi: No, no, I don’t think I’d make a good father…

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Molly: Here and there. I don’t like to overdo it, but it’s totally justified sometimes.

Finn: Yeah … my friends aren’t exactly a good influence.

Marina: All the time. I don’t think I could live without it.

Brine: Hardly! It wouldn’t be good if I sassed my superiors, and it’s mean. But a harmless eyeroll won’t hurt, on occasion.

Pansy: Eh, sometimes. I’m not really smart enough, I get out-sarcasm’d, and it ain’t the nicest thing.

Ribbon: Doing a sarcasm can be pretty hard… you get told off, too.

Slushie doesn’t talk enough to use sarcasm, but his body language often suggests it!

Tay: Oh no, I neeeever use sarcasm…

Sabi: …It isn’t kind to be sarcastic.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Molly: Their face. Some people have real distinguishin’ features.

Finn: Their ink colour! If they don’t have one, then I look at their style instead.

Marina: Uh, does it matter? It depends on the person, right? I usually notice if somebody’s an Octoling.

Brine: Usually? Their handshake. I know that’s kind of weird to say, but the way someone shakes your hand can tell you a bit about them.

Pansy: I try to look at how they carry themselves n’ the expressions they make. It helps you figure out what a person’s like – though how they talk and what they do’s the next important thing. S’ important to watch the eyes.

Ribbon: If they’re smiling!

Slushie pays very close attention to the way other people talk.

Tay: How they behave towards me! Respect can be the difference between a guest staying or being thrown out – and potentially a matter of life and death when assassins are concerned!

Sabi: How much of a threat they are to me, haha… I try to keep my head down.

6. What’s your eye colour?

Molly: Kinda… teal green? Lighter?

Finn: Rose pink!

Marina: Green eyes, green sclera. Just once I want somebody to say I’ve got eyes like emeralds, but I don’t see it happening. Nobody’s that suave, and I’d probably slap a stranger if they did.

Brine: Ocean blue!

Pansy: Deep pink. Cute, right? Haha, that was a joke…

Ribbon: Pink like dad’s!

Slushie’s eyes are purple, with a white sclera.

Tay: Soft blue on green~

Sabi: Blue – and um, I’m the kind of octoling that has green ‘whites’.

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

Molly: I like scary movies, they’re usually not that scary, haha. Happy endings make me think of those sappy films, but I don’t mind them in like … regular stuff.

Finn: I love happy endings! Especially in a romance film. Scary movies aren’t so bad, but some of them I’d prefer not to see…

Marina: Horror. Happy endings can be way too saccharine for my tastes.

Brine: I do love a good happy ending!

Pansy: Yeah, happy endings here too. I don’t mind horror so much if things work out in the end, though. What’s the point if everyone dies?

Ribbon: No scary films please!!!

Slushie isn’t a fan of scary films. He’d much rather watch something happy.

Tay: It depends on my mood. I like a happy ending, but it has to be written well, and scary films – well, I’m not scared of anything, but too much of it taints the mind, you know…

Sabi: Please . . . take one look at me and say I’d enjoy a horror film. You’d be wrong in every way…

8. Any special talents?

Molly: People keep saying my cooking’s good, but I don’t really see it? I know lots ‘bout weapons…

Finn: Art! I’m trying to make a career out of it.

Marina: I’m pretty good at mending up old human tech, and I can program. Real dab-hand at fixing technology. Betcha didn’t know that.

Brine: I’ve got a good eye! … Yup, that’s all I can think of, ahah.

Pansy: Me? Er, I guess I can cook pies pretty good. I used to be decent at all that detective stuff too, but now I’m not so sure.

Ribbon: I dunno what my special talent is yet! I’m hoping it’s to do with detecting.

Slushie is very good at puzzle solving, and has quick reflexes. He’s also an absolute STAR at learning languages.

Tay: I have so many talents! Always looking good is practically a talent, and there’s my overall intelligence – I’m especially good at mathematics – but I’m a creative mind too! I’m PERFECT at stage performance and mixing music, not to mention I’m excellent at tinkering with machinery, I’ve built plenty of things and […etc.]

Sabi: Oh, um, I’m pretty good when it comes to music, I guess…

9. Where were you born?

Molly: Small town just outside of Inkopolis, but basically Inkopolis.

Finn: I think my parents moved to Inkopolis around the time I was hatching? Yeah.

Marina: Octopolis. You know, underground.

Brine: Inkopolis, hatched and raised. (This is a retcon--)

Pansy: Cuttledown, it’s a little village right near Calamari County.

Ribbon: Here! Inkopolis!

Slushie doesn’t know when or where he hatched, but he was quickly picked up by the underground orphanage.

Tay: Oh, somewhere on the surface a very long time ago… (Actually, that isn’t true.)

Sabi: In a lab somewhere underground. It’s, uhm, not very glamorous.

10. What are your hobbies?

Molly: Turf War! I listen to music a bunch too, n’ play games.

Finn: When I’m not doing art, I like to play Turf War and hang out with my friends.

Marina: *gestures to her room full of human artefacts and study notes*

Brine: I don’t have a lot of time for hobbies, aha… sometimes I still make coffee…? I like stargazing and laughing at conspiracy theories.

Pansy: I garden a lot, but that’s also my job now.

Ribbon: I play videogames and draw and use my imagination and collect dinosaurs.

Slushie is still trying to find his place on the surface, so is trying a lot of new things.

Tay: Tinkering! I get excited about circuits and wires. Surprising, no?

Sabi: I really… REALLY invest a lot of my time into music. But I, um, I also like to read. Mostly science fiction.

11. Do you have any pets?

Molly: Nah. Banned. I leave too much to give ‘em attention anyway.

Finn: My little brother. … Okay uh, that was kind of a cruel joke, eheh. No.

Marina: Pets are cute, but I don’t have the time! Not to mention no space.

Brine: Haha, Mom would kill me.

Pansy: We used to have a nudibranch back at Ma’s but not anymore. Maybe I should get another…? They cost a whole lot, long-term.

Ribbon: I reeaallly want an axolotl but dad and mom say no! It’s not fair. Dad used to live on a farm so he basically had EVERY PET.

Slushie lives with Pansy, so likewise has no pets.

Tay: Hm, no… perhaps I should invest in one for companionship. I’d pay someone else to feed and clean up after it, of course…

Sabi: Ah, that’s a lot more responsibility than I could handle…

12. What sports do you/have you played?

[Everyone says ‘Turf War’ in unison, except for Tay who says ‘Sword fighting’ and Slushie who says nothing].

13. How tall are you?

Molly: *grumbles* 4’10”…

Finn: 5’4”, still waiting for that growth spurt.

Marina: 5’5”. I’d like to be taller.

Brine: 5’11”! Nothing more, nothing less.

Pansy: Not nearly tall enough. 5’7”. I’m the shortest of my siblings, and I’m the oldest, pffah.

Ribbon: Small! (She’s exactly 4ft.)

Slushie is something like 5’2”, I haven’t written it down anywhere.

Tay: Tall enough! (He’s 5’6” and insecure about it.)

Sabi: Aaah… I’m 6’8”, how embarrassing… I’m thankful I’m not any taller.

14. Dream job?

Molly: I sure as heck don’t know, my dude. Something where I could show off my knowledge about battling, I guess. A teacher?

Finn: An artist that gets paid!

Marina: I will become the world’s greatest archaeologist.

Brine: Almost there! I’d love to be a fully-fledged lawyer.

Pansy: … I already lost my dream job as a detective.

Ribbon: A detective!! Or a secret agent!! Or… a mailperson!

Slushie doesn’t really know what he wants to do with his life yet.

Tay: What could be better than being an emperor and a DJ? … being an MC? A showhost? I could do that too.

Sabi: My music is already selling well, so I’m very happy.

15. Favourite subject in school?

Molly: I hated school. Uh, I liked history sometimes, but I wasn’t great. Music? We used to mess around a lot…

Finn: Apart from the obvious ‘art’, I did enjoy literature too!

Marina: Human studies. As for the military side, I did always enjoy target practice.

Brine: Law! Since it’s a later subject, I also had fun in Social Studies and Inklish Language.

Pansy: Long time ago, uh… I remember bein’ pretty good at geography? I was awful at Inklish n’ Maths and that. Science was pretty good though.

Ribbon: Hm… I love all the subjects! Does snacktime count as a subject? We hardly get those anymore now we’re older.

Slushie likes foreign languages. He also excelled in agility training.

Tay: I’m not sure I remember exactly, but I do love mathematics.

Sabi: I technically never went to school, um…

Well, here’s the end!

Tagged by: @manysquidsandoctos

Tagging: meap

#pretty sure like 90% of my mutuals were already tagged so do it if you wish--#long post #EVERYONE.#Molly #Finn #Marina #Slushie #Brine #Pansy #Ribbon #Octwovio #Wussabi

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years

Text

A Place To Call Home: Christmas Vacation

Summary: The Pads have some news that may end up changing the family. When the reader discovers how it all came about though, she has some words for her father and soon, for her new friend, Cody…

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Square: Christmas

Word Count: 17,500ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N #1: I know I said I wouldn’t be doing more but here’s a little (okay, big) present for you guys! This part takes place right before and right after the very end of the Home timestamp...

A/N #2: Written for @spngenrebingo

_______

“Hey, Jared,” you said, popping your head into the office. He gave you a smile from the couch as you followed the doctor inside and took a seat beside him.

“Nice to see you again, Y/N. It’s been quite awhile since you joined Jared for a session,” said the doctor, Michael was his name you thought.

“Yeah. Uncle Jared and I talk a lot outside of therapy nowadays,” you said.

“Jared’s told me so. I encourage you both to continue to do so. We’ve both recognized changes in him since you’ve started to regularly open up to one another,” he said.

You turned your head, Jared shrugging. Sure, he seemed happier than when you first met him years ago but he didn’t bury himself with work and travel all the time now. He was home more and enjoying life. You felt like all you did was complain about this or that or the next thing to him.

“But Jared wanted to discuss something that he felt might need a moderator,” said Michael. “I understand you’ve spoken to Y/N’s parents about this as well?”

“Yeah,” said Jared, turning to you with a smile. “Yeah, I’ve...talked to your parents about this, kiddo. Gen knows too for obvious reasons but...we talked to them and I’d like your perspective on something if that’s okay.”

“Always,” you said. “What’s up?”

“So…” he said, biting his bottom lip. “Gen and I, we’re considering...adopting a boy.”

“Really?” you asked, a smile growing on your face. “That’s…”

You bit your lip to match his, smiling as you stared at your lap.

“I see why you thought a moderator might be helpful,” joked Michael. “Y/N do you want to say anything about that?”

“I’m so proud of you to even consider it,” you said, grinning when you caught the instant smile on his face. “Sorry, I know that sounds weird but like I’m proud of you? And you’re an unbelievable dad and any kid would be lucky to have you be their dad, to have you and Gen both.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” he said, glancing at Michael. “We...he’s actually not that much younger than you actually. He’s twenty three, he’s a police officer, just started.”

“Oh,” you said, still smiling. “I...I suppose I’m slightly confused how you guys met but...I think if you want to adopt him that’s awesome.”

“I think I’ve heard it from you enough to know that it doesn’t matter how old you get,” he said.

“You still want a family,” you said. “I’m really happy for you Uncle Jared.”

“I guess we know what it’s like to have that instant click with a kid,” he said.

“How’d you meet him? If that’s okay?” you asked. Jared tilted his head.

“Your dad really didn’t tell you?”

Two Hours Later

“Jensen!” you shouted when you walked into their house, JJ wide eyed as she spun back around in the kitchen. “Where. Is. He.”

“Backyard with your children?” she asked. “Uh, you look pissed.”

“I-” you started, your mom walking out of the bedroom with a soft smile. “What-”

“Been a long time since you called dad that,” she said.

“Instinct of rage,” you said, blinking slowly. “I need to talk to him. Now.”

“Swing set with the babes,” she said. You took off towards the back porch, grabbing JJ’s wrist along the way. “JJ, please make sure she doesn’t murder your father.”

“Dad’s on his own with this,” she said. You went outside with her, your dad all smiles as he pushed Allie on the swing gently, Colin settled on his hip.

“Hey guys, mommy’s home!” he said, Allie hopped off and ran over to you, her hug and smile making you forget your anger for a moment.

Colin smiled and reached out for you. Your dad knew you were mad but he also knew handing the kids off got him a chance to get out of there.

“Hi baby boy,” you said, giving him a kiss as your dad took off.

“JJ, get him,” you said. Your dad stared at her and then cocked his head at you.

“Really?” he said. “She’s not as scary as you.”

“Hey!” she said, walking up behind him, yelping when he threw her over his shoulder. “Dad!”

“Oh that was way too easy. You’re taking that same defense class your mom and sister took little lady,” he said.

“Dad,” you said, bending down to scoop up Allie, giving her a hug. “We’re talking later.”

“Yeah, sure thing, tall munchkin.”

You got the kids back home for their normal evening routine before they were in bed. TJ was playing some video games when you left him, nearly getting you to stay home when he came up with an interesting bet for a race but you needed to talk to your dad and you wanted to do it three hours ago.

You walked around the street corner and were walking in the front door within three minutes, Zeppelin wolfing down a bag of Cheetos in the kitchen like he’d never seen food before.

“How’s the start of puberty going?” you asked with a smirk.

“I’m hungry like all the freaking time,” he said, wiping off his hands. “And washing your face everyday sucks and the whole thing is just bad. If I’m anything like dad, I won’t even get tall for like five years.”

“At least you’re not poor Arrow,” you said.

“I know. She told me she had her first period last month,” he said. You stared at him, pursing your lips. “Am I not supposed to know that?”

“No. I mean, she can tell whoever she wants. Obviously don’t tell other people. It’s just sweet to see you two are just as close as ever,” you said.

“Apparently it feels like dying,” he said.

“It does...and then you have a child and then you actually know what it feels like to be dying and then you go back to having a period which is just awesome,” you said with a laugh. “Sorry. Too much info.”

“No, it’s cool,” he said. “It’s nice having an older sister to talk to about stuff.”

“Puberty?” you said, Zeppelin nodding, a question on his face. You nodded and you followed him upstairs to his room, letting you shut the door. “Zepp, you know you can always talk to dad and mom about this stuff. Growing up is weird. I mean, mom gave JJ and Arrow this book they have for girls that teaches you about your body. I don’t know if there’s a book out there like that for boys but you can always ask dad or call up TJ or Uncle Jared. There’s people around to talk to.”

“Can I ask you like...stuff,” he said.

“Sure. I won’t tell mom or dad, you know that,” you said.

“Is it weird that...in the morning stuff down there is starting to like...” he asked.

“No,” you said with a laugh. “No, dude. That’s perfectly normal for boys. It’s gonna stick around for a while so get used to it.”

“How do you get it to go away?” he asked.

“Hi guys,” said your dad, poking his head in the room thankfully. “What are you two up to behind closed doors?”

“Well you can either deal with me or tell Zepp how to get rid of his morning...surprise,” you said. He shut his eyes and put his hands over his ears, quickly grabbing your arm and leading you out. “You’re weak.”

“Nope. Nope. Nope,” said your dad, pulling you down the hall. “He’s eleven and you’re still my sweet innocent baby boy aren’t you, Zeppy. Never change, buddy.”

“Don’t avoid the conversation,” you said, following him down the stairs and onto the back porch.

“Oh, I’ll avoid it as long as I can,” he said.

“Zepp or me?”

“I’m not going to discuss your brother’s...we had a little talk after they got that one at school. Maybe I forgot to mention morning wood and that the same way you get it to go up is how it goes down but I’m sure the kid will figure it out in a few years,” he said. “Many, many years.”

“Dad,” you said. “You’ve been avoiding me all afternoon.”

“You seem...angry. It seemed like the smart move,” he said.

“Do we run away from our problems?” you said.

“I ain’t five, kiddo,” he said.

“Then maybe you’ll tell me what the Ackles-Hanover Adoption program is,” you said. You stared at him, a flicker of concern on his face that started to grow. “Dad.”

“I...it was supposed to be a surprise,” he said.

“You made a charity, with my name on it,” you said. “One hell of a surprise.”

“I...Jared said he explained what it does. I don’t understand why you’re upset,” he said softly.

“You don’t understand why I’m upset?” you asked. “Seriously?”

“It’s meant to help kids and young adults that age out of foster care find parents and get adopted, even if they’re an adult. You don’t stop wanting a family that won’t throw you away,” he said.

“I understand the point of your charity,” you said, standing up and crossing your arms, staring out the screen porch to the dark yard. “You just...you don’t understand. I thought you did but you don’t.”

“Kiddo,” he said, standing up, giving you a hug from behind. You shrugged him off, glaring at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” said your mom, stepping onto the porch, pointing a finger at you. “You’re not a child. Don’t act like one.”

“You don’t even know what we were talking about,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Your father is having a bad day. Cut the shit,” she said, heading back inside. You looked over at him. He wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Was it...cause of-”

“No. It was this morning. Really, it’s fine,” he said.

“We can talk about the charity thing tomorrow,” you said.

“Okay.”

“Do you want to go play Mario Kart?” you asked. He smiled, giving you a light nod. “After you tell me what happened.”

“Y/N, nothing-”

“Mom’s never acted like that which means it scared her,” you said.

“Don’t tell your siblings,” he said with a sigh.

“Are you sick?” you swallowed.

“No, kiddo. There was a name mix up on some test results this morning was all. I am perfectly one hundred percent okay,” he said.

“But you thought you were sick?”

“For like an hour,” he said with a smile.

“How sick?”

“It doesn’t-”

“If you do ever get sick, you call me,” you said. “Don’t keep it from me.”

“Sort of my call kiddo,” he smiled.

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “No. It’s not. You tell me. Promise.”

“I’m okay. I promise. Allie and Colin cheered me up so much when I was still bouncing back so you still helped me out today,” he said.

“I’m sorry I came in like that, acting like a brat,” you said, rubbing your arm.

“Brat’s are spoiled children. You’ve never been one of those,” he said. “Come on, let’s go kick the twins asses in a team race.”

“I’m home,” you said, sighing as you wandered into your bedroom, ditching your clothes by the laundry basket and tugging on one of TJ’s shirts. He was reading in bed, glancing over the top of his book when you crawled in beside him.

“You talk with your dad about whatever it is you won’t talk about?” he asked, flipping a page.

“TJ,” you said, eyes flicking up to meet his.

“That’s a no,” he said, setting the book down and turning off the light. He shifted down the bed, tucking you into his chest. “You’ve been jittery and pissed and more jittery ever since you got home from Jared’s session. Did he say something?”

“He told me something my dad is doing,” you said, closing your eyes. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Sweetie.”

“Mhm?” you hummed.

“You should talk to Jensen,” he said.

“I don’t want to get in a fight,” you said.

“You’re gonna sleep like shit and I can already see whatever this is festering in your head. Deal with it, honey,” he said.

“Well I’m not getting dressed,” you said. He rolled over and grabbed his phone, turning back a moment later.

“He’ll be here in a minute,” he said.

“Had to marry a sweet boy, didn’t I,” you grumbled, rolling out of bed and pulling on some shorts, TJ smiling as you went out to the family room.

“Hey,” said your dad three minutes later sporting his own pajamas, popping in through the front door and kicking off his sneakers. “TJ said you needed to talk to me.”

“Please sit down,” you said. He took a seat in his normal spot on the couch, watching you walk around and settle in the other corner. “I’m sorry for earlier, saying you didn’t understand.”

“That’s okay, honey,” he said. “I probably don’t. I don’t understand why you’re upset so you probably have a point.”

“Dad,” you said, both your heads turning when you saw Allie stop on the landing of the stairs. “What’s up, alligator? You should be sleeping and not on the stairs.”

“I wet the bed,” she said, blushing when she saw your dad there.

“S’okay, sweetie,” you said as you stood up. “I’ll be back in five.”

“Take your time,” he said. You went back upstairs with Allie and got her in a fresh diaper and pajamas and put new sheets on the bed, still ever grateful to your mom for the advice on the mattress protector.

“Okay, you’re all set now,” you said, tucking her back in bed, giving her a kiss as you turned off her light.

“Mommy?”

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, gorgeous,” you said, giving her another hug and round of kisses. “Get some sleep.”

She was conked out by the time you were pulling the door shut, your dad stretched out on the couch and staring at the ceiling when you got back.

“Sorry about that,” you said.

“She’s not in diapers at night?” he asked.

“She’s barely two, dad,” you said. “Of course she’s still in diapers.”

“When did you get so old?” he said, turning his head with a smile.

“First off, 26 dude. Second, you look at me sometimes like I’m a little girl you know,” you said.

“Cause you’re my first baby girl. A part of me will always think that,” he said as he sat up, watching you settle back in your spot. “If the charity...we can pull the plug on it if you want. I don’t want it to upset you.”

“You all see all the good that could come from something like that. I get it. I see it too. You have an excellent point about people still wanting families after aging out of the system. I think it’s very noble in that way.”

“But,” he said.

“But I see all the ways it can go wrong and there are so, so many ways it can go wrong, dad. These people...they got issues. You know first hand what it’s like. I just see the ways they can get hurt and these people already hurt. You get one person doing it for the wrong reasons-”

“I know. We’ve talked about all that. But there’s a difference between this charity and foster care. The adults, they can walk away. It’s not like when you were a kid and got in a bad home and were stuck. These people can walk away and even then, it’ll never be like that. All families looking to adopt will be screened. This isn’t a small thing, kiddo. It’s...it’s been in the works a few years,” he said.

“Years,” you said, closing your eyes. “I shouldn’t be surprised anymore but you continue to do so.”

“That first year was the scariest. That first month was the scariest, when you first came to us. I remember,” he said.

“Even adopting Allie and being a mom to her and Colin, that’s scary but it’s not the same,” you said, peeling open your eyes. “At least with that it’s me and TJ and we got our family behind us.”

“Do you think you would have wound up with TJ if you’d just, aged out of the system?” asked your dad. “Like if you went to school together still?”

“I don’t think so,” you said, leaning back and tucking your legs in to your chest.

“Why not?”

“I was too broken before,” you said quietly, glancing at your toes. “A lot got fixed before I met him. I think he would have taken one look at me and thought-”

“I’m gonna marry that girl someday,” you heard, your gaze going up, TJ leaning against the wall, giving you a sad smile. “I brought you over here to kiss and make up, not make her feel worse, Jensen.”

“The point I was trying to make, dofus, was that you have loved her from day one,” said your dad with a smirk back at TJ. “And that she was the one that asked you out. She was the one that kept herself doing well in school. She’s the one that never let boys take advantage of her. She’s the one that told me five minutes of moving in exactly what she needed from me, even if she didn’t know it. You’ve always done the hard and scary thing, kiddo. There’s a lot of other kids like you out there. They just want someone to call on a bad day, some place to go have Sunday dinner, people that are theirs. It’s going to be scary for them too. But you know what it’s like to be on the other side of it now. I think you’d do it again if you knew what the end result was going to be.”

“Yeah, I’d do it all in a heartbeat,” you said.

“Mom and I just want to help the kids that didn’t get picked. None of those kids got thrown away. They just haven’t found their right family yet,” he said.

“Seriously though, you like, work for hallmark on the side and just don’t tell anyone, right?” said TJ.

“TJ’s the one that ate the last of your mint ice cream,” he said with a smile as he hopped up, TJ’s face falling.

“You’re dead to me, Ackles,” he said.

“Oh, it’s adorable when he’s all angry,” said your dad, pinching his cheek as he went past.

“You’re a dickhead,” he said.

“Well I’ve known that for years,” he laughed as he pulled on his shoes. “We okay now, sweetie?”

“Yeah,” you said with a nod, getting up and wrapping your arms around TJ. “If...if even just one person gets something out of it, then that’s okay with me.”

“It’ll be a while before it goes public but the few test cases are working out so far. One of the sets of parents are even starting adoption which for an adult, is way quicker,” he said.

“Jared said he and Gen…” you trailed off.

“They’re one of the test cases. A newer one but they’ve been hanging out with Cody. He’s...he’s very much like you, Y/N. The Pads are inviting him to come up to the vacation house with everyone for our trip in a few weeks. I think maybe you two should talk, tell him about the brighter side of life,” he said.

“When’d he go in?” you asked.

“You can ask him yourself in a few weeks,” he said, giving you both a hug. “Night guys.”

Three Weeks Later

“Oh my God,” you groaned, dropping another bag out of the trunk of the car, tilting your head back, quickly turning it into a smile when you saw Colin on JJ’s hip. “Well hey there big man. Look at you being a cutie with Aunt JJ.”

“Afh,” he giggled, rubbing his hands over JJ’s face.

“Come on, buddy,” said JJ, as she walked past with a backpack on her shoulders. “Let’s find you some milk.”

“His bottles should be in-”

“The green bag. I’ve babysat my nephew enough, sis,” she laughed. “Come on, Colin before you get eaten by a bear.”

“There better be no bears here,” you grumbled.

“Nope, just coyotes,” said Jared with a smirk as he came up behind you.

“Seriously? Thank you for easing my concerns with my toddler and infant,” you said, getting a hug from him and the rest of the crew, Tom already off looking for JJ. Your gaze went to the guy a little older and hanging back some, Gen pulling an arm around him and moving him forward.

“Cody, this is Y/N,” she said.

“She’s Ackles oldest. Y/N’s husband TJ’s around here with their other kiddo somewhere I’m sure,” said Jared.

He nodded and you returned it, a little tension running out of his shoulders.

“So, uh, let’s introduce you to everybody, hm?”

“I’m glad we bought this place,” said your mom, taking Colin off your lap after a later dinner, a small rainstorm keeping everyone inside for the night. “Even if it is a bit outdated.”

“I’m sure we’ll get our use out of it over the years,” said TJ with a smile.

“Well I think the kids having their own room is nice. Gives the little one’s a quiet place to sleep,” said your dad, Allie passed out on his hip, her head on his shoulder. “Speaking of which, let’s go put the pups to bed, grandma.”

“Remember what I did to you last time you called me, Grandma, Jensen,” she said with a smirk.

“Oh. I remember. I’m hoping you do it again. Grandma,” he said, giving her a wink. You rolled your eyes as they left, your dad leaning down quickly. “Hey. Why don’t you guys see if you can get Cody to come out of his room. He’s been holed up in there since dinner.”

“We will. Night dad,” you said.

“Night,” they said as they took off. You gave TJ a smile as you stood and headed for one of the downstairs bedrooms, a small room but the bed was comfy and there was a private bath with it. You knocked once and pushed it open, Cody, laying in bed with his computer.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey.”

“The old people are in bed and the pre-teens are off watching a movie up in the loft if you want to hang out with me and TJ,” you said.

“Thanks but I’m kind of tired,” he said. You nodded, shutting the door behind you. He watched you carefully as you sat down on the end of the bed.

“Isn’t the whole point of this program so you can be with your family? Get to know them, see if they’re a good fit for you?” you asked.

“I wasn’t thinking when my old case worker called me up and told me about it,” he said. “I don’t really care about these rich people or you so you can leave now.”

“Jared and Gen, they tell you anything about me,” you asked.

“Yeah. You’re the adopted girl,” he said, glancing over the screen.

“I was in the system for nearly eight years, Cody. Cut the shit,” you said.

“Been in since I was five, aged out. Looks like I win the sad sap award,” he said. You shut his computer, Cody narrowing his eyes at you. “How many homes?”

“14. You?”

“17. Winner again. Leave me alone.”

“Wow. You really are just like me,” you said.

“Uh no, you and me aren’t the same, princess,” he said.

“I ain’t a princess, jerk,” you said. “You’re not in foster care anymore so stop the games.”

“Oh, because I’m sure you were adopted for you,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You sure those two kids out there are even the other guys? Or are they new daddy’s little-”

“You can shut the fuck up. That is not how people in this family talk to each other and for the record, asshole, I adopted my daughter after some other assholes left her in a box to die. She’s lucky my husband and I even found her. I am close with my father because he is my father and he’s helped me stop being an asshole like you and he’s shown me how to be a good person. That’s who we are. You don’t want a family, fine. There’s the fucking door,” you said, leaving and slamming his shut.

You were fuming by the time you got to the end of the hallway, hands in fists, your dad poking his head over the upstairs balcony.

“What was that?” he asked.

“That kid’s got a mouth on him,” you grumbled.

“Go get an apology then,” he said. “He’s not a child after all.”

“Yeah, that’ll go great,” you said. You sighed and went back down the hall, Cody missing from his room.

You went back to the living room, TJ watching the start of a movie.

“He ducked outside. I think he’s on the covered porch,” he said. You nodded, going past and out the back door, Cody sitting in a chair with his arms crossed, staring at the dark woods.

“I found the door,” he said, not bothering to look up. “I’ll be gone in the morning, don’t worry about it.”

“What’s the rule, Cody? The unspoken rule we have in foster care as the older kids.”

“Take care of the younger ones,” he said quietly.

“So you gonna let me take care of you or are you going to say something mean again because you’re scared?” you asked. “I know it’s an act. I’ve done it all so you want to pretend with everybody else, okay, but don’t do it to me. I know the difference.”

“Could you leave me alone?” he said. “You’re so freaking annoying.”

“Oh. You hurt my feelings there tough guy,” you deadpanned. “You ain’t getting out of this conversation.”

“I bet new daddy sent you out here huh,” he said.

“Well my new daddy sure is a hell of a lot better at knowing what to say than I am,” you mumbled, crossing your arms as you sat down in a chair.

“This was a mistake,” he grumbled to himself.

“No, it’s not. You’re just scared and you want to runaway because you think you don’t fit in,” you said.

“Can you please be quiet for one minute?” he said.

You kicked your legs out in front of you, watching the rain fall and Cody debating getting up beside you.

“Do you remember them? Your parents?” you asked.

“Raised by grandparents. Mom didn’t want me and was dead by the time I was three anyways,” he said. “Never met my dad.”

“Jared’s a good dad. Gen’s a good mom too. There’s benefits to having younger parents,” you said.

“Like what?”

“Like you get two parents but you get two friends too...eventually,” you said, pursing your lip.

“I already got friends,” he said, turning his head. “I only did this as a favor for my case worker.”

“Back to the lying already?” you teased, slouching down in your seat. “Do yourself a favor, Cody. Give the Pads, give all of us, a sliver of trust. It’ll help.”

“I’m the rich people’s charity case,” he mumbled. “Princess.”

“Yeah, maybe I am quite a bit better off than most 26 year olds. I got a nice house, a new car, no student loan. I go on nice vacations with my family. Maybe I am the spoiled princess you think I am. And I would throw all of those things away in a heartbeat. It’s stuff, it doesn’t matter. The point of this house is for the people in it to have a good time and be a family and make memories. Sure, some rich people are stuck up snobs and sure, none of these guys, none of us kids, will ever have to worry about money. But they’re the kind of people that want you to text them that you got home safe. They will go to the end of the earth for you. They’re good.”

“Like I said, I ain’t drinking the kool aid they’ve been handing out,” said Cody.

“Okay,” you said. “Just saying is all.”

“Just saying what?”

“Just saying I don’t want to know what five more years of feeling alone would have done to me,” you said, turning your head to him. “A bit of advice though, Cody. Don’t ever say something like what you did to me before in front of my father, or Jared or anyone else here. You need someone to be the punching bag, okay. I can take it. Pretend with me so you can be the real you with them, alright?”

“Remember what I said about friends? Well you’re not one of them so leave me alone,” he said. He stood up and left and you saw a flashlight in the yard after a moment, quickly disappearing.

You sighed as you went inside, heading for the coat rack when TJ cocked his head.

“You want me to come?” he asked.

“No. This is something we need to figure out,” you said, zipping up your jacket.

“He doesn’t have the right to be mean to you,” he said.

“No. But he is allowed to be scared,” you said. “People mix those two up sometimes.”

“Don’t get lost. Or hurt,” he said.

“I won’t. Don’t stay up for me if I’m gone awhile, okay?”

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen,” he said, smiling as you leaned over the couch to give him a kiss. “Go bring him back home.”

“I love you,” you smiled, kissing his cheek before you pulled on your boots and were out the door.

You walked around to the trail, rain coming down steady but it wasn’t freezing thankfully. You followed it until you got to the path to the lake and turned down there, smirking when you saw Cody sitting under the covered decking.

“Hey,” you said, Cody rolling his eyes at you. “Nice to see you too.”

“For fucks sake. What part of-“

“Contrary to what you may have experienced, people aren’t supposed to treat their kids like trash. They aren’t supposed to be cruel. You’re not supposed to be afraid of a hug. It’ll take time to unlearn all that crap. I’m nearly ten years into this Cody. I have lived almost more of my life with these people than with my birth parents. I tried to runaway when I got here. My seventeenth birthday I tried to run away. I tried to push them away. I wanted nothing to do with them. They wouldn’t let me give up and I’m not going to let you walk away because this is hard. It’s fucking hard and terrifying and it’s nothing any of them can understand properly. But I know you want this so I’m not going to let you just get through this vacation so you can run away when we all go home. It’s not happening.”

“Why do you even care?” he asked.

“Cause you’re my family.”

“The Padalecki’s aren’t even related to you,” he said.

“You don’t need to be related to someone for them to be your family. Trust me,” you said. “Just one thing, just tell me one thing that’s scaring you so I can try to help.”

He was quiet and looked out at the lake, his back to you for a few minutes.

“Sometimes I still feel like I'm a terrified five year old,” he said. You stepped beside him and nodded. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I get that,” you said quietly. “I used to be like that. Sometimes on bad days it creeps back in even.”

“How’d you not be like that?”

“Hey,” you heard behind you. You both spun around, Jared in a raincoat and sporting a concerned smile. “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, looking back to Cody. “Simple answer? They kind of beat me over the head with their love until I realized I was worth it. They’ll keep doing it, even on the bad days.”

“How…” he trailed off as you walked past Jared.

“I had a talk with my dad on a rainy night once,” you said with a smile. “You just got to be brave enough to believe what they say.”

Cody nodded, Jared giving you one of his own before he walked down towards Cody.

“Careful on your way up to the house, Y/N,” he said.

“I know. I’ll see you guys at breakfast.”

One Month Later

“Mam’,” you heard as you spun around at the bar. You smiled when you saw Cody in his uniform, another older officer with him.

“Hi. The ambulance just took away the guy with heat stroke. I think he was gonna be okay though,” you said.

“Hot day out,” said the other officer.

“You guys want a beer?” you said. “We got water if you’re on duty.”

“I would take a cold bottle of water if you’ve got one,” said the officer. You smiled and dug back into the cooler, pulling two out.

“On the house,” you said, handing one out to each of them. Cody nodded, the officer glancing back and forth between you.

“You two know each other or something?” he asked.

“Y/N’s that other ex foster kid I told you about,” he said quietly.

“Really? Glad Cody here has someone his own age to talk to about that sort of thing. Sometimes I get the feeling I don’t get told everything which is silly considering we’re partners,” he said.

“We should get back on patrol,” said Cody.

“Hey we’re due for our lunch break. Let’s grab a bite at that food truck outside,” he said. Cody sighed and followed him out, one of the summer hires taking over for you as you followed after them.

“What?” asked Cody, his partner already off and in line.

“I haven’t seen you around since vacation. You kind of kept your distance,” you said.

“I told you. I don’t like you,” he said.

“Oh,” you said. “Uh, sorry.”

“Just forget about it,” he said, waving you off as he got in line. You went back inside and to the back of the brewery, trying to work on a few things in the office before you were over at the bags of hops and unloading them from a pallet.

“Well that’s never a good sign,” you heard. You stood up and spun around, your dad jogging over to give you a hug. “Hello tall munchkin. I love you.”

“Hi,” you said, going back to work when he released you.

“You only do this when you’re upset you know,” he said. “You and TJ have a fight?”

“No.”

“Something to do with work?”

“No.”

“Bad day?”

“No.”

“Do you know how to say anything besides no?”

“Dad,” you groaned.

“Come on, take your lunch break,” he said, grabbing your wrist. You went out to the back patio area for employees, your dad taking off towards his truck and returning after a moment with a pair of sandwiches from the store down the street.

“Thanks,” you said, eating quietly, sharing a bag of chips with him. He frowned when you only ate half though and wrapped up the rest for later. “Dad.”

“You barely ate anything and TJ says you aren’t eating as much as normal,” he said.

“Why the fuck do you two talk about that?” you snapped.

“Because it’s one of the obvious signs that something is going on with you. You’ve been funny since vacation. Quiet and sad and it’s got more than just me and TJ concerned,” he said. “You don’t need to ration food and you know it.”

“I’m not hungry,” you said.

“Are you sick?” he asked as he placed a hand on your forehead.

“I’m not sick,” you said, his hand touching your cheek and neck before you stood up and walked away. “I have to get back to work.”

“That was ten minutes and last I checked our employees get hour lunches,” he said.

“Well I got shit to do,” you said as you stormed away.

“Y/N,” he said loudly, freezing you in place. You felt a hand run up and down your back, settling between your shoulder blades and rubbing in place there. “What happened with Cody? Did he say something or do something to you? You can tell us. You can just tell mom if you want. Just talk to someone, honey.”

“I screwed up,” you said shakily. “I didn’t talk to him right and he doesn’t like me and I tried to tell him this is a good family and I think all I did was push him away from it.”

“S’not your job to do that,” he said.

“You made me feel so at home though and loved and I screwed it up so wrong and how much am I screwing up Allie and Colin and everything else,” you said as you spun around. He tilted his head and gave you a sad smile, pulling you into a hug.

“You are a wonderful mother, honey. You love those two so much and I know they healed things in you the rest of us couldn’t touch. You are better than so many other parents out there,” he said. “You and TJ always put your kids first.”

“But I screwed up,” you said.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did,” you said. You took a step back from him, pursing your lips. “I just want space, dad. Just give me some space.”

“Okay. Whatever you need to get your head on straight.”

“Hey, Jared,” you said, popping your head up when you saw him walk into your house the next day.

“We were out on a run. TJ said we could grab a drink . Forgot our bottles at home,” he said.

“Mhm,” you hummed. “Take whatever you want.”

“Thanks,” he said as you went back to your notebook, glancing out the front window and pausing. “TJ out there teaching Allie how to wash the car?”

“Yeah. She’s got a little bit of a tomboy streak in her. Daddy’s girl,” you said.

“Well Colin is totally a momma’s boy, like his grandpa,” he laughed. “Where is the adorable babe?”

“He’s having a playdate with some friends of ours. They’re thinking of a kid so we said take him for the day, see what it’s like,” you smiled. You went back to writing in your notebook, feeling Jared behind you. “Yes?”

“You’re doing your notebook again,” he said.

“And?”

“Do you want to come to another session with me?”

“What is wrong with all of you lately?” you snapped. Jared held up his hands and backed away. “I got chores to do when I’m done with this so if you don’t mind…”

“Alright. Thanks for the water,” he said.

Two hours later you were huffing as you and TJ walked out to the driveway.

“Allie just got down for a nap. What are you so pissed about?” he asked.

“All I said was I was going to skip my session this week,” you said. “I’ve done it before.”

“Yeah, when we’re away or something pops up. You’ve never skipped because you don’t want to go,” he said.

“I’ve got stuff to do on Thursday.”

“Like what?” he said. “Does your work suddenly have some kind of rules against employees taking time in the day for that sort of thing because I seriously doubt your parents would-”

“I don’t want to fight. Just give me space,” you said as you started to head down the driveway.

“Where are you going?” he said.

“A walk to cool off. Don’t worry about me.”

You’d walked over to the park about a mile away and settled on a bench, one you normally used to watch Allie run around on the playground from.

“Y/N.”

You looked left and saw Cody in his uniform, Cody looking around before he took a seat.

“What do you want?”

“Your dad, your mom, your husband, Jared and Gen...they’re all concerned. They asked me to come find you,” he said.

“Well you found me,” you said. “Not that I was hiding.”

“What happened,” he said. “You’re not the confident chick that was saying all that stuff to me at the house anymore.”

“I never was,” you said.

“I never apologized for what I said. I’m sorry,” he said.

“A few mean words don’t get under my skin anymore, Cody,” you said.

“You sort of look forward to the words after a while. It used to beat the alternative,” he said. You glanced over at him, Cody raising an eyebrow. “I know you were in some very bad homes. I was in a few bad ones myself. I know what goes on in those ones. I know it fucks you up pretty good.”

“I jumped down your throat at the house about you opening up and all I did was push you away from a family. A really great family. I didn’t just hurt someone. I hurt someone like me. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life,” you said.

He stared at you for a moment, glancing down at his lap with a smile.

“How long has it been? About three weeks since the house?” he asked. You nodded, Cody sitting back against the bench. “Sort of been the best three weeks ever you know.”

You whipped your head up, Cody shrugging at you.

“I needed you to say that stuff to me Y/N. You’re right. I was fucking terrified. I think part of me will always keep a little of that fear if you’re anything to go by but I’ll forget about, it’ll just be there as a reminder of the old me. I’m sorry I was a dickhead and I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you about any of this since. I’ve been trying to figure it out in my head. It sounds like I’m the reason you’re acting like this lately.”

“I get...funny sometimes,” you said, rubbing your arm. “Scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Scared that I don’t deserve the people I have in my life,” you said. “I know that’s not true but...I just get scared. I’m normally really good at pushing it back down and convincing myself that it’s just my head screwing with me but...you were too big a screw up. I did something so wrong.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees, lowering his head. “I forgot the number one rule. The kids stick together.”

You nodded and gave him a half smile, Cody returning it.

“I want what you have, Y/N. I want it and I want parents and a family and to not feel like this shit is burying me everyday of my life. I’m so freaking tired of being alone. I’m not going to be perfect and you’re so much tougher than me cause you did it alone but...I need you to help me, help me not be so scared. I’m learning and it’s so slow but I think you can help me. But you got to keep calling me out on my shit. I don’t like being mean or making people feel bad about themselves. Everything has always come with a cost and I don’t know how to just take and not expect anything in return.”

“I can help,” you said. “I just...have to remember not to take everything you say to heart.”

“I’m sorry I said I don’t like you. The stuff about your dad too, that was out of line. I’m sorry,” he said.

“This is going to be one of the hardest things you do in your life, Cody. No one’s expecting you to be perfect. You never have to be perfect. Just try and be a little forgiving of us when we overreact or don’t say the right thing. We have to learn too,” you said.

“Why do you care so much about if this works out for me?”

“Everyone deserves a family, Cody.”

“Hey,” you said, giving TJ a smile when Cody dropped you off outside your house. He was pouting on the front porch, your dad out front with him. You saw your mom inside with Allie, getting a quick glance from her as you walked over. “Um...listen for a minute before you guys talk please. I...I thought...well I talked with Cody and...I knew exactly what I wanted to say in the car too.”

“Y/N,” said TJ. You gave him a soft smile, his face relaxing. “You seem like your old self again.”

“Cody and I...we...he...he’s going to be okay now,” you finally said.

“Are you okay now?” asked your dad.

“Yeah,” you said, giving him a smile. “I used to make you feel bad, didn’t I. The things I used to say.”

“We thought we were hurting more than we were helping at the beginning. But we saw you trying and we knew that us just being afraid. You are not Cody’s responsibility though, Y/N. He’s a grown man,” said your dad.

“Yes, he is. He’s also a child,” you said, your dad leaning back in his seat. “I think like he does. I can help him. If I can help him make this process even a sliver easier, I’ll take a few crappy weeks to do it. He said the past few weeks have been some of the best he’s ever had. It’s worth it then.”

“I’m not trying to start anything, I just...why is what he’s feeling more important than what you are?” asked TJ.

“It’s not. I know from experience though, this is literally the hardest thing he’ll have ever done in his life so far. We can help him. But we can’t get mad when he makes mistakes. Yeah, he’s 23. He’s gone so long without unconditional love, I don’t think he knows what it even is anymore. So you guys gotta help too. I’m okay now, really. Maybe he’s not my responsibility but then again, I was never yours. No one made you take me. No one made the Pads take him. You both chose to help a kid. Now please help me help him.”

“Okay,” said your dad. “But anybody here sees you slip back even a little-”

“I know. I know. I got my head on straight now. I promise.”

Two Months Later

“Hey Jared,” you laughed into the phone, TJ still trying to tickle you. “Thomas James Hanover. You need to stop young man.”

“Make me,” he giggled as he plopped on top of you.

“Sorry, Jared. What’s up?” you asked, nothing but quiet breathing coming from the other end. “Jare, you there?”

“Yeah. Um...I...I got in a fight with Cody. He was hanging out and I invited him to do Christmas with us in a few weeks and he got really...defensive,” he said. “He kind of blew up.”

“He still there?” you asked, TJ sitting upright.

“He was staying over tonight. His car’s still here but he went out on the back patio and…” he said, pausing in the background. “He’s twenty three and I’m still worried. I shouldn’t have...fuck. Happy Birthday kiddo. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have called and-”

“Hey. It’s cool. I’ll be right over, okay? I’m not supposed to be at my parents until later,” you said.

“Y/N, you really don’t-”

“Jared,” you said. “It’s fine. I swear. I’ll be right there.”

You hung up and TJ stood up with you. You raised an eyebrow but he smiled.

“I’m coming with this time,” he said.

“Alright,” you said. It was only a two minute drive to Jared’s and you were quickly in their driveway, walking around the side of the house, the backyard dark. “Anyone-”

“Surprise!” you heard, nearly jumping straight back into TJ when the lights turned on. You groaned and tilted your head against his chest, a chuckle rumbling through the crowd, your dad cracking up as he walked over.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to plan a surprise party for you?” he teased, kissing your forehead. “Happy Birthday, tall munchkin.”

“Losers. You’re all losers,” you said, your friends and family returning to milling about for the moment, Jared and Cody walking over with smirks. “You two...don’t you pull something like that again, got it?”

“Yeah, we got it,” said Jared. “I almost felt a little bad there until I remembered what I got you for a present. Totally makes up for it.”

“Mhm,” you said, looking at Cody. “What’s your excuse?”

“Uh...I...well I actually did talk to Jared and Gen about the holidays and…” he trailed off, looking at Jared. He smiled and threw an arm over Cody’s shoulders, giving him a squeezing hug.

“Somebody’s gonna have Christmas with us,” said Jared, Cody rolling his eyes. “We’re so happy he said yes.”

“It’s just a holiday,” said Cody with a shrug.

“Hey, Cody, show me where to grab a beer around here,” said TJ, taking off with Cody.

“How’d he really take the being invited to Christmas thing?” you asked.

“He’s nervous. But he said he’d try. He didn’t want anything though so naturally we’re going to spoil him rotten,” said Jared with a big grin.

“Spoil ‘em a little. Sentiment means more than you realize with these guys,” said your dad, wrapping his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Ain’t that right?”

“The old goot kind of has a point,” you said.

“I am fifty you little shit,” he said, waddling you over to the cake. “It’s just a sheet cake for everyone and then for the more refined tastes of certain family members...cookie cake is in the fridge.”

“Yes,” you said, getting a laugh from him. “So were you the mastermind behind this?”

“I can’t divulge my secrets,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Go on. Enjoy your party with your friends. You can hang out with your decrepit father later.”

“Still not old, dad,” you said with a smile.

“Damn right I’m not,” he said.

“Mom,” you called, catching her laugh before she even got all the way over. “Dad’s extra clingy tonight.”

“Extra clingy every night,” he said, flashing her a wink.

“Excuse me while I go vomit,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “Thanks guys.”

“Anytime, kiddo.”

“Thanks for the party,” you said, dropping off the kids overnight bag at your parents place a few hours later. “And for taking the kids for the night so we can have some adult time.”

“You mean so you can sleep in tomorrow?” teased your dad.

“One hundred percent,” you said, watching him follow you outside. “Forget something?”

“You got one more present,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back, a smirk on his lips.

“Dad. The wine and the headphones were more than enough. In fact it was too much. I really don’t need stuff. Spend it on the other guys, really,” you said.

“Oh but this is a...unique present. It’s for both of us actually. In fact, I can’t ever even give it to you,” he said.

“Did you get me a riddle?” you laughed. “I am so confused.”

“Come here,” he said, standing under the light on the covered front patio. You stood there with him, your dad holding up his left arm. You raised an eyebrow, the shirt sleeve riding up to show off his tattoos for JJ and the twins. He turned his arm over so you could see the inside of his bicep, a dark mark on his skin you’d never seen before.

It was a simple black heart shape and you got closer, the outline made up of two words.

“Tall munchkin,” you said quietly, biting your bottom lip when he smiled. “You got a tattoo for me.”

“About time I got one for all my kids. Sorry it took so long to figure it out, tall munchkin,” he said. You titled your head, pursing your lips. He put a hand on your head and ran it through your hair, ruffling it up before he tucked a few pieces behind your ear. “You like your last present?”

“Yeah,” you said. “No way you’re ever going to top that one though.”

“Challenge accepted,” he said. “Go on. Let TJ go be all romantic. Kid’s got a pretty sweet surprise at home for you.”

“Dad,” you said, getting a hum from him. “I don’t really say it a lot but thank you for being TJ’s dad too. He appreciates it more than he lets on.”

“I know. I know you take care of him too though,” he said, kissing your forehead. “Now get.”

“Love you,” you said, kissing his cheek, a goofy smile crossing his face. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said.

“I’ve never kissed you, have I,” you said.

“Well, you’re also not a little girl,” he said. “Speaking of which, go on miss I’m twenty seven before I change my mind and send the kids back with you.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Colin,” you said, sitting with him on the first step in your parents pool the next day with your feet in the water. It was a little chilly but Colin loved the water and you knew a few minutes wouldn’t hurt. “I know the water is exciting but must you splash everywhere, baby?”

“Unh?” he said, hitting his hands against the water again.

“You take after your father alright,” you said, scooping him up. “You’re due for a nap anyways.”

“I’ll take the babe,” said Jared when you heard him behind you. You spun around and gave him a smile, handing off Colin.

“Just rinse off his feet quick if you don’t mind. He’ll get a bath later,” you said.

“Yes mam’,” he said, Allie running over from the swing set and giving him a hug. “Alright, how about both you guys get in a nap and then we can play?”

Allie nodded and Jared picked her up, carrying them back into the house when you spotted Cody head over.

“Sup,” you said, Cody taking a seat on the step with you.

“Hey,” he said.

“How’s it going?” you asked.

“Good,” he said.

“Good.”

“How’re the kids?”

“Good. Still little monsters,” you said.

“Hey, you been with these guys like ten years right?” he asked.

“Just over that. Yeah,” you said. “Why?”

“Just curious,” he said, resting his elbows on his knees, glancing across the yard to see your dad and TJ wrestling a bit in the grass. “Isn’t TJ like, afraid he’ll hurt him?”

“My dad might be fifty but he’s probably tougher than you,” you said with a laugh. “You can go play with the boys if you want.”

“Nah, I’m fine here,” he said, wiggling his toes in the water. “That’s colder than I was expecting.”

“You excited for Christmas? It’s only a few weeks away,” you said. “You got to tell me what you want too.”

“I don’t need anything,” he said. You cocked your head and he sighed. “A gift card is fine, really.”

“Alright,” you said, leaning back against your palms. “How’s work?”

“Good. Mostly low level stuff lately,” he said.

“Do you ever get scared?” you asked, Cody turning his head back. “I’d get scared. I’ll literally call my dad to kill the spiders in my house if TJ’s not around.”

“No. It’s not being scared. Just being aware of your surroundings. They train you really good on that stuff. This whole family situation is a million times scarier to me,” he said.

“I know. It’s like taking some beat up broken thing off the floor that’s you and handing it over to someone and asking them not to hurt it anymore,” you said.

“I’m not even at the point where I’ve handed it over,” he said.

“It took me a long to admit to myself that I loved my family. It took me probably ten months before I ever told any of them I loved them and I lived here back then,” you said.

“When did you know?” he asked. “That you loved them?”

“When I felt the first bit of it or when I knew it was unconditional?”

“Both?” he asked.

“Well the first bit was my first day. It was this tiny, tiny little thing that I barely felt for more than a second but my dad, see I told him not to bothering caring about me and that I would never trust him, never believe him that they wanted me as part of their family. He told me he’d prove me wrong. That was the first flicker of something that was built on until...you know stuff happened with me right? With my foster care cases and everything?” you asked.

“It was on the news. I remember our case worker coming and talking to all of us kids about it and about reporting anything bad,” said Cody.

“I remember that day. I remember doubting them for a second, that they had called and asked I be removed. I felt so awful for thinking that. But for a split second, I thought this guy, Jensen, I thought this guy that had spent the past six or so months telling me he loved me, taking care of me, building up this trust...I thought he didn’t want me anymore. It was my worst nightmare. My mom, De, she’s always been a little easier. I don’t know if it’s cause we’re girls or if because I didn’t have the same level of problems with old foster moms as I did dads but Jensen...I was a bratty little bitch to him so many times. So many times. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven for all of it. But he never once made me feel afraid or scared. He protected me. He still protects me. I’ve been here just over ten years now and sometimes I still feel like a kid that wants her dad to fix whatever’s wrong. He does. It’s not bruises or intimidating boys but stuff like late night talks, staying over when TJ’s out of town, that kind of stuff.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s okay to be scared. You’re gonna be scared for a while probably. It took a long time to love my family unconditionally. Longer than it took them. It’s part of the deal. You’ll slip up and have doubts. It may happen years later even. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you do it is all,” you said.

“So when did you know it was unconditional?” he asked. “Them, I mean.”

“Day I asked to be adopted. But it’s funny. That was the day I knew but every day before that I knew too. I didn’t want to admit it to myself was all,” you said. “Defense mechanism.”

“I got a lot of those,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how to trust them.”

“There’s no magic answer, Cody. I didn’t know how to trust my parents either. Or TJ at first. But you’re learning. Think of our first day and now,” you said. “It’s a lot of stumbling baby steps.”

“What are you two munchkins talking about?” you heard your dad say, suddenly ruffling the top of your head, Cody getting one of his own.

“Stuff. TJ kick your ass, old man?” you smirked as you titled your head back.

“That boy should take the self-defense class you took,” he said, nodding to the right. You turned your head and burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” said TJ, rolling around on the ground, one of his hands tied to his ankle with his sweatshirt string, his hood pulled down so only his nose was sticking out. “Jensen! I hear you laughing, asshole!”

“Better go save your damsel in distress,” laughed your dad.

“I hate you!” he shouted.

“No you don’t,” said your dad as you pulled your feet out of the water, Cody following suit. “Maybe Cody could teach you a thing or two. I bet he knows a few moves.”

“Or maybe next time Cody can join in and…” said TJ when you walked over to push his hood back and he shook out his head. “I know the two of us could take you.”

“Oh, yes. Two fit boys in their twenties versus the fifty year old because that’s a fair fight. Jared and I against you two though, we win every time,” said your dad.

“Boys. You guys never grow up, do you,” you said, helping TJ for a moment before he popped up.

“Two out of three,” he said.

“Oh, I’m ready if you are, kid,” said your dad.

“Jensen!” your mom shouted from the porch. “What are you doing to your son-in-law?”

“Nothing,” he said, quickly putting his hands behind his back and putting on an innocent smile.

“Well if you four are done playing in the grass, come in and wash up. Lunch is ready soon,” she said. You hung back with Cody, TJ trying to give your dad a noogie but failing and winding up with one himself, the two chuckling as they headed inside.

“Your dad is kinda...something else,” he said as you took the long way around the house.

“TJ’s dad isn’t the greatest. He’s not a bad guy but TJ and him don’t have the relationship my dad and him do. TJ’s dad is more of a boys don’t have feelings kind of guy,” you said.

“I know the type,” said Cody.

“My dad and TJ got pretty close after we got engaged. TJ’s his kid too,” you said with a small smile. “It’s like how Jared and Gen and the kids are my family even if they’re not. This is what our family is.”

“Does it ever go away? That feeling?” he asked. “Not belonging?”

“Yes. Eventually. The doubt will creep back in sometimes. But these people will smother you with love when that happens,” you said. “But if these guys aren’t the right fit, then maybe we can help you find whatever you think that fit is. I’ll help you.”

“I like them. I have to work more on that trusting them thing though,” he said.

“It’ll happen. Trust me.”

Christmas Night

“Oh, there’s my adorable children,” whispered your dad. You had your head resting on TJ’s shoulder, Arrow passed out on TJ’s other side and curled into him. JJ and Zeppelin were sharing the other end of the couch, the both of them fast asleep.

He had his phone out most likely and you figured he’d already snapped a few pictures.

“Precious babies,” he said. You peeled open an eye and saw him walking away. You smiled as you sat up, your dad walking back down to the kitchen.

You heard him sigh as he sat down on the couch and you paused on the stair, just out of view.

“I told you those five were conked out up there,” said your mom.

“They’re so cute,” he said. “I love them.”

“You okay?” she asked.

“I miss when they were little,” he said. “How excited they were to open presents. It’s nice to see Allie and Colin do it but it’s different now. They’re all getting so big.”

“We knew this would happen someday,” she said. “What’s up? I know it’s more than that. You got that worried about Y/N look.”

“She’s a mom. All day her focus was on the kids which I totally get but…” he said, voice cracking slightly. “Sorry.”

“Hey, baby. It’s okay. You’re tired. It’s okay to get emotional,” she said.

“She never got her childhood. It ended when she was ten years old. Every year she gets older and it’s harder,” he said.

“Jensen. Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked. “This isn’t like you.”

“I’m sorry. I just...we were talking at dinner and I realized, she never got her trip,” he said. “The kids trip, the one on one where they pick where to go and it’s just us, when they were little. I realized it took ten years to get a tattoo for her. I didn’t-”

“You have been waiting ten years to get that tattoo because you were trying to find the perfect thing. You’ve wanted to get one for her since she was adopted,” she said. “We have given her so much, Jay. She knows it. She doesn’t care when you got a tattoo. The fact you got one made her so happy. She doesn’t care about a trip. You know she already thinks we do too much for her.”

“Still,” he said. “She’s oldest. She got her school and house and wedding because of that. The other three will get the same exact thing. Her literal life plan, her’s and TJ’s, got thrown out because they walked down an alley.”

“What was our life plan? Two? You remember that?” she asked.

“You got the three you wanted,” he chuckled. “By luck.”

“Yes but a teenager wasn’t in the plan. Not until you, mister I was okay with one kid, out of the blue said you’d really like to add another,” she said. “Plans change. They change all the time. I mean, maybe they started having kids a little sooner than they were planning but can you blame them? Her daddy wanted to adopt. So did they.”

“I’ve never been her daddy, De. She had one of those,” said Jensen.

“I had two of those,” you said, swinging around the corner, leaning against the entrance to the room. Both their heads turned towards you and you shrugged. “I thought I told you I had two dads, just like I had two moms. Also, relax. Mom’s right. You give me more than I ever could have wanted.”

“Still eavesdropping I see,” he said, giving you a smile.

“I would have loved to have gotten to be a little kid around here but I didn’t. Don’t get upset over that dad. I still have a lot of growing up to do. I promise,” you said.

“I know. I was having a moment is all,” he said, closing his eyes. “Go on back to bed, tall munchkin.”

“Okay,” you said, giving him a smile. You stepped over to the couch and gave your mom a hug, giving him one too before you wandered over to his stocking and flicked your finger against it, a light thwacking sound coming from inside. “I wonder what that could be…”

“That was empty earlier,” he said as he stood up. You shrugged and leaned back against the doorframe, smirking as he pulled out the card and opened it. He smiled and dropped his head down. “You two are such little shits.”

“I learned it from you,” you said, giggling when he pulled you into a headlock.

“Your kid vacation,” he said.

“Mom and I thought you might like it. We wanted to surprise you,” you said.

“I am surprised,” he said, glancing over the card. “So we’re going hiking and camping I see. I thought you hated camping?”

“It’s alright,” you said.

“You two going to be able to survive for a week out in the woods?” she asked.

“Mhm,” you said. “It’ll be fun.”

“You know, the other guys have done things like Disney or...actually they all picked Disney,” he chuckled.

“We can do something else if-”

“No. No. I uh, I think we can have fun. I’ll figure out some fun stuff for us to do. I promise.”

One Week Later

“Do you think it’s gonna rain all day?” you asked, not two hours into your camping trip when it’d started to pour down. Thankfully the two of you were able to put up the tent quickly and get inside without getting too wet.

“I hope not,” he said. You pursed your lips and fixed your sweatshirt around yourself, your dad tucking you into his side. “Cold?”

“A little,” you said.

“When there’s a break in the weather, how about we head back to the car? I got the feeling you don’t really want to go camping all that much,” he said. You risked a glance his way and he smiled. “Just because I like to go on occasion does not mean that we have to spend your trip doing it.”

“I wanted to do something we both would...like,” you said, tucking your knees into your chest.

“Can you be selfish for once in your life? Like, that’s literally the purpose of the kid’s vacation,” he said.

“I thought it was to spend time with you,” you said quietly. He put his arm around you and you put your head on his shoulder.

“Where do you really want to go? Anywhere in the world, you pick,” he said.

“Can we go to the vacation house?” you asked. “Pretend it’s camping?”

“Without a doubt. I got a great idea for once we get there too.”

“Alright,” he said, spread out on one side of the tent that was set up in the family room that night, the flap up and open so you could see the fireplace going. “Never have I ever...seen a boyband in concert.”

“That is cheating and you know it,” you said.

“I think someone is being a sore loser and needs to take a drink,” he said with a chuckle. You smirked and took a sip of your beer, fixing TJ’s henley you wore. “Hit me with it. None of these softball questions either. What happens on kid’s trip, stays on kid’s trip. Shoot.”

“Never have I ever abused my status as a celebrity to get what I want,” you said.

“Okay. Now we’re getting into it,” he said, taking a sip as he laughed. “Also, that’s a pretty broad brush to stroke.”

“Yeah but you totally have gotten special treatment before,” you said.

“I know. I know. Alright. Never have I ever made out in the back of a car,” he said.

“No way,” you scoffed. “You so have.”

“I have not.”

“Yes you have! Dad, come on,” you said. He shrugged and you stared at him, taking a sip. He smirked and took one of his own. “Oh, you gonna play that game?”

“Your mother is hot. Can you blame me?” he asked.

“Ew, dad. That’s mom. I know she’s pretty but like the time I caught you guys making out on the couch was bad enough,” you said.

“Be grateful you aren’t Zepp. Poor boy was scarred for life a few months ago,” he said, sipping on his beer.

“No. Like full on…”

“Mhm.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Thankfully it was just me and not mom. He was surprisingly grown up about it. That’s kinda when we had our little talk about birds and the bees,” he said.

“Poor traumatized soul,” you said, chuckling as you leaned back against your pillow.

“He’ll survive,” he laughed. “But yeah, mom and I make out cause you know, it’s fun. It gets a little harder with kids but make sure to keep the romance alive. Go on dates, be silly and make out with each other. You don’t have to stop acting like teenagers in love just because you have kids around.”

“We don’t. TJ’s...he’s not as shy as you might peg him for in certain areas,” you said.

“Well you drank. Obviously you’ve made out with him in a car too.”

“TJ...and Brad.”

“Who the fuck is Brad?” he asked.

“My one and only other boyfriend. Remember?” you asked.

“Oh,” he said. “Yeah. The nice one, right?”

“Mhm.”

“How old were you when you were making out in the back of cars?” he asked.

“Fifteen,” you said.

“I’ll probably regret going any further down this line of questioning, won’t I.”

“I can guarantee it,” you said. He winced and you frowned. “Mom knows about me and boys, dad.”

“Did you love him?” he asked.

“I liked him but no, I don’t think I loved him. He was refreshing though. He never cared about the foster care stuff. Brad was a good guy. TJ, that was different.”

“He was head over heels in love with you from the start,” he said, resting his feet up on the pillow near your head.

“When did you love him?” you asked as you sat up. He smiled and glanced down, taking a long drink.

“I had always enjoyed your friendship. I know friends are hard. TJ just seemed to slide right into your life though without a problem which De and I were always a little grateful for. When he started to come over, it was pretty obvious to everyone but you two that you’d at least wind up dating. As time went on, it got a little more obvious and a little more obvious and a little more obvious where things were going. I always liked Thomas. But the moment I knew I loved him was when we talked about him marrying you. That’s a conversation between he and I but it made me realize this boy loved you as much as I do. You deserve a lifetime of that kind of love and I know he’ll give it to you. After that night, yeah, I knew I loved him too,” he said.

“He’s always so understanding if I get quiet sometimes,” you said. “If I have bad days.”

“Partners make the bad days not so bad,” he said with a smile.

“I started going back to therapy more often,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “Once a week now.”

“Everything okay?” he asked, sitting closer.

“I had some post partum with Colin,” you said, looking at the fire. “Nothing bad. Just stirs up a lot of old stuff. I’ve been talking a lot with Cody too and trying to give the it gets better speech but some days…”

“Some days what?” he asked. You glanced towards him, his shirt sleeve ridden up and showing your tattoo on his bicep.

“Some days I still feel like I ruin everyone’s lives,” you said. “I always cause problems. There’s always drama. I always need help. I feel like a child that doesn’t deserve any of it.”

“Honey, none of that is true. Family is meant to help you,” he said, taking your hand and resting it on his arm. “Can I tell you a secret?”

You nodded and he smiled, pressing your thumb over his tattoo.

“I’m surprised you still have secrets to tell me at this point,” you said.

“Well...I don’t know if it’s really a secret or what. Despite working on a show called Supernatural for years, you know I’m not much of one for ghosts or strange stuff or whatever,” he said.

“Uh, where are you going with this?” you asked. He smiled and shook his head.

“We met when you walked in the front door a little over ten years ago, right?” he asked. You nodded and he laughed. “That’s what I thought too up until recently. We’re both wrong about that.”

“What?”

“Do you recall going to Disneyworld when you were three years old?” he asked. You shook your head. “I would have been about your age actually.”

“Dad, what are you saying.”

“I went on vacation with my parents and siblings to Florida that year. We were waiting at our gate to go home. It was a pretty busy part of the airport. Big terminal, you know, a flight with a couple hundred people easy on it. My mom was filming us on her camera cause you know how moms are. My parents were recently looking through old videos looking for something for Josh and they watched this vacation one in the airport. Apparently I was coming back from the bathroom and you see me heading back and then all of a sudden there’s this little girl standing in the middle of the walkway. She’s crying quietly and she’s got this scrape on her knee. I see her and she sees me and then I go over and kneel down. I’d completely forgotten this ever happened. My mom comes over too and this girl is crying and tells us she’s lost and someone bumped into her and pushed her down and that she’s not supposed to talk to strangers. I tell her I’m Jensen and ask what her name is so we aren’t strangers anymore and-”

“I remember you,” you said, staring at him. “I don’t but I remember freckles and green eyes and Jay. I remember Jay. I couldn’t say Jensen.”

“No, you couldn’t. I picked you up and we found your parents not thirty seconds later and they were so relieved. Your dad tried to pay me but they just ended up thanking my mom and me a lot. Your parents said I was a good kid,” he said. “You told them I was your new friend and then we went our separate ways.”

“I remember you,” you smiled to yourself.

“I don’t believe in stuff like that, munchkin. I don’t. It’s pure coincidence if you ask me. It was less than sixty seconds of our lives,” he said. “But you’ve never once ruined my life. You made it better. You made it better that day. I did something good. I was able to help someone. You swung back around years later and started to help me too.”

“How have I ever helped you?” you asked. He tilted his head and smiled, letting it get bigger the longer you raised an eyebrow.

“I still have things to teach you it seems,” he said, moving your hand over his heart. “This. You have made me a better person. A kinder person. A more patient and loving and understanding person. You made my heart bigger.”

“Dad, that’s-”

“Yes, it’s horribly corny. But it’s true. How many nights have we sat up and gotten through nightmares together?”

“A lot,” you said quietly.

“How many times was I overprotective?”

“A lot.”

“How many times have we been through shit and we get through it?”

“A lot,” you breathed out.

“I love you. I love you more now than even back then. This has never been one way, Y/N. You gave all of us something too, something we could have never asked for. You made all of us better people. We never deserved you, not the other way around.”

You paused for a moment before you crawled into his lap and gave him a big hug, his arms wrapping you up tight.

“Maybe it wasn’t coincidence,” you said against his shoulder.

“Maybe not, kiddo,” he said, kissing your temple, the two of you quiet for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell us about the post partum?”

“It wasn’t that bad,” you said, turning your head away. “I was embarrassed.”

“What would Jared say about that?”

“I know. I wanted to be normal,” you said.

“Normal people are overrated,” he said. You smiled and closed your eyes. “Been awhile since we had a proper cuddle.”

You took a deep breath and shuddered, his hand running up and down your back.

“I should probably save the letter for later, hm?”

“Oh my God, dad,” you said, giggling against him. “You gotta stop with these letters.”

“Really?”

“No,” you said.

“Whew. You only have a ton left. None tonight though,” he smirked. He turned you around and scooted the two of you out of the tent, grabbing a long pole and sticking a marshmallow on the end before handing it to you. “I can get behind this kind of camping trip.”

“Dad,” you said as he put on his own.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go fishing tomorrow?” you asked.

“Oh, I must be in your good graces,” he chuckled. “Of course, kiddo. I’ll even let you put on your own worm.”

“We’re home!” said your dad a few days later as you walked in the house. You turned around the corner, TJ sitting up on a couch with a face mask on, your mom on the other. “I see a staycation was had as well.”

“It was easier to let TJ and the babes stay over,” said your mom. “How’d it go?”

“We really roughed it,” said your dad.

“Yeah, it was-”

“I totally got an alert that the vacation house alarm was turned off so how long you two gonna keep up the charade?” she asked with a smirk.

“You’re no fun,” you said.

“Yes,” said your dad, giving you a high five. “Finally you see my ways.”

“Oh, shut it you two,” she said. “We made brownies earlier if you want some.”

“Are you guys watching Titanic?” you asked, taking a seat next to TJ before you wrapped him up in a cuddle.

“Yes, dear,” he said, tilting his head back as you kissed him. “Have fun?”

“Yeah. It was nice to get away and just relax with dad,” you said. “I told him about…”

“TJ spilled the beans on the whole baby blues situation, honey,” said your mom. “Seriously, talk to us next time. Don’t go through something like that alone.”

“I know,” you said. “I’m okay. So you guys hang out this week?”

“Yeah. We had a good time,” said TJ as he peeled off his mask.

“Extra pretty boy,” you smiled.

“Don’t make us vomit,” said your dad. You stuck out your tongue at him, your mom taking off her own and tossing it in the trash can in the middle of the room full of snacks. “You two been having a movie binge fest or what?”

“Mhm,” said TJ.

“You can tell him,” she said. You looked down at TJ and then to your dad as he slid in behind your mom. “TJ and the kids came over for dinner on Friday and I got a little scared when I realized all the kids were at sleepovers and I’d be home alone. So I made up an excuse to have them stay and he saw through that pretty quickly.”

“It’s really no problem. I know Y/N doesn’t like staying home alone either,” said TJ. You saw your dad smile, glancing down for a moment before he saw you staring. You swore he loved him a little more in that moment.

“Well TJ might suck at wrestling but he’ll take care of you guys if I’m ever not around. I know he will,” he said. They both shared a look and nodded and you wondered if they’d ever spoken about something like that.

“So how was it?” asked TJ quietly when your parents got up to change into some pajamas. “I had a lot of fun hanging out with your mom actually.”

“I’m glad. Dad and I...I really love him. Mom too,” you said, kissing the top of his head.

“There was a little bit of news with Cody actually,” he said.

“Oh yeah? What happened?”

“He had a scary call at work apparently. He wasn’t in good shape when he got home from it all. He called Jared and Gen and they went and got him and brought him to their place. They had a big breakthrough apparently. Cody says he’s starting to get what you meant about the trusting thing,” he said.

“It sucks but sometimes...whenever I fell apart and my parents were there to put me together, when you were there, that’s how I started to learn to trust them. Not having to put yourself together again is nice,” you said.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you.”

“Well thanks guys,” said your dad, ruffling both your heads as he returned. “I love you guys too.”

“Jensen. Kinda having a moment with my girl, dude,” said TJ.

“I’m your father-in-law. I’m gonna tease the shit out of you, dude,” he chuckled, pinching TJ’s cheek.

“Oh my God,” groaned TJ.

“Thank you, Thomas,” he said, fixing TJ’s hair.

“For what?” he asked as your mom walked back in.

“You know what,” he said, plopping down on the couch, your mom curling up next to him. “Oh, hey. You guys want to watch an old home movie?”

“Dad,” you said with a smirk, getting one back.

“It’s not that long, you guys will love it, I’m sure. I was telling Y/N all about it on our trip. I ought to show her it,” he said.

“Whatever you want, honey,” said your mom. You dad smiled and after a moment, he got the video up on the TV. It was a little boring at first but it was funny to see your other family members so young, still a little surprising to see how well your dad had aged for nearly twenty something years later.

“Here comes the best part,” he said.

“If we have to see anymore of your horrifically ugly face, Jensen, I don’t know if I can take it,” said TJ. You giggled, your dad chucking a pillow at him.

“Oh just wait and see, Hanover,” he said. TJ settled back into you before he and your mom both shot up like rockets in their seats, staring at the screen.

“Is that…” said your mom. Your little three year old self was more upset than you thought you’d be but what surprised you most was how you relaxed for a moment when you looked up at Jensen. You remembered being a pretty shy kid and leery of strangers. But you walked right up to him after that and tugged on his hand, Jensen smiling as he knelt down.

“You picked them,” said TJ as Jensen’s mom came over and started to talk to you. It was comical to you how you shied behind him a little, your head shaking at yourself. Before you knew it you were up on his hip and he was walking around with you before your parents popped up in the video.

“They look happy,” you said. You felt all three of their gazes on you.

“Y/N, I can turn it off if-”

“No,” you said, smiling as you watched yourself get handed over to your dad. You bit your bottom lip as they thanked him over and over again, Jensen getting shy on camera.

“Bye, Jay,” you waved at them.

“Bye, munchkin,” he chuckled, your head instantly whipping up from your dad’s shoulder.

“I not a munchkin!” you said.

“Honey, it’s a nickname,” said your mom. “Excuse her, she’s normally not so forward with strangers.”

“Oh, it’s fine. She’s having a rough day. You stick with your parents for me though, kiddo. Promise?” he said.

“Okay,” you said, putting your head back down. “Later, Jay.”

“Later, little munchkin,” he said, chuckling when you giggled and he started to walk back with his mom. “What?”

“You were very good with her,” said his mom.

“Eh, she’s a scared kid. I’m glad we found her parents quick,” he said.

“You’ll make a good dad someday, sweetheart,” she said.

“Oh my God, mom,” he groaned.

TJ started to crack up and you laughed, giving him a hug for a moment before you buried your head in the back of his neck.

“You okay?” asked TJ. You heard the video end and nodded, glancing over at your dad.

“Hell of a coincidence,” you said, giving him a smile.

“I don’t…” said your mom, staring back and forth between the two of you. “I…”

“Maybe TJ’s right and you picked us out a long time ago,” he said.

“Maybe, maybe not. I don’t care if it’s coincidence or not. I wound up exactly where I was supposed to,” you said.

“I think so too,” he said.

“I’m gonna go put on my pajamas and then we can watch a movie,” you said, getting up and heading for the guest room. You found Allie and Colin tucked away in there and you smiled, giving them each a kiss before you headed back down the hall. You paused when you saw your dad leaning against the wall halfway down, smiling softly as you wandered over. “You left out a few things from when you told me about that video.”

“What can I say? I got to keep you on your toes, tall munchkin,” he said. You rolled your eyes but giggled, glancing down for a minute. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about the fact you’d see your parents in that video.”

“Jensen,” you said as you lifted your head up. “I got to see three of my four parents together. Happy. That was incredible to see. You will never be my second father, Jensen. I’ve been your child as long as I’ve been theirs. I miss them. A lot. But don’t feel as though you are second to them. Please. They made me and they raised me until they couldn’t. Then you raised me and you had to teach me some of the things I forgot about family. You’ve always taken care of me. I’m not upset about seeing them in that video, dad. It was perfect.”

“I worry about you sometimes,” he said quietly.

“Really? Never would have guessed.”

He chuckled and shook his head.

“JJ and the twins...we made them. It’s different. But you...sometimes I wonder if we’re good enough. I want you to have the world. I want you to have the family that you deserve and one you love. I-”

“Dad. That is the dumbest thing you have ever said to me. I love this family. I love it to death. You gave me the world. No more of this stuff. We all deserve and love each other, okay?” you asked. “Please?”

“Okay, kiddo,” he said. “I’ll try to remember that.”

“Good,” you said, giving him a hug.

“You don’t go wandering off at airports anymore, hm?” he teased.

“Dork,” you said. You peeled back and grabbed his hand. “Movie with the other dorks?”

“Sure,” he said, pulling you along with him. “Come on, little munchkin.”

“It’s tall munchkin to you,” you said. You smirked and headed down the hall, surprised to see the twins and JJ in the living room, all of them rewatching the video with big eyes.

“Well if we got the whole crew, let’s head up to the TV room where there’s more room,” said your dad. You watched them pile up, JJ hanging back a second while your dad went to make some popcorn in the kitchen.

“Y/N,” she said. You tilted your head, watching her fist her hands together and a shudder leave her.

“JJ,” you said, giving her a hug. “What’s wrong?”

You saw your dad’s head whip up in the kitchen but you waved him off for the moment.

“I’m so sorry I said we didn’t want you,” she said, wiping off her face. “Before that first Christmas. You’re supposed to be here and I was a brat and-”

“JJ,” you said, giving her a squeezing hug she melted into. “I don’t care about technically anymore. You’re my little sister and I love you. I have always loved you. I was so scared when I was your age. You were five. I’ve never been mad at you for that night. I promise.”

“I remember that night,” said your dad as he walked over. “Your sister almost ran away on us. But she stayed. You know why?”

“No,” she said, your dad brushing thumb over her cheek and cleaning off her face. “Dad.”

“Dad’s cool with you crying in front of him. Trust me,” you said. “I stayed because I wanted to. I knew you were upset was all because you didn’t think I loved you. But I do. I loved you and the other guys long before mom and dad. You guys were easy.”

“Come here you two,” he said, pulling you both into a hug. “No need to dig up that stuff. JJ, Y/N loves you. Believe me.”

“I know,” she said. “I just…”

“Just what, sweetie?” he asked.

“I can’t imagine being by myself right now. I’m as old as Y/N was when she came here. I know I’m not a little kid anymore but I can’t imagine having no one,” she said, turning to you. “How did you do it?”

“I was very unhappy most of the time. Until mom and dad and you guys taught me how to be happy again,” you said. “I’m okay now.”

“JJ. If anything were to happen to me and mom, you’ll never end up in a situation like your sister was. You three will go with her and TJ. They’ll take care of you,” he said.

“Don’t talk like that dad,” she said. “You’re not old.”

“He kinda is,” you smiled.

“Mhm,” he said, putting you both in headlocks.

“Mom!” you both said, your dad chuckling.

“Fend for yourselves!” you heard shouted back.

“Dad’s super ticklish,” you said, getting under his arm before he squirmed.

“Am not!” he said, JJ moving out of the way before she grabbed his arm and turned it over.

“I thought the other one was for Y/N?” she said. You cocked your head and glanced at your dad.

“Other one? You have another tattoo for me?” you asked.

“It was temporary while I was figuring out which one to do,” he said.

“I’ve used those before. They only last like a week,” you said, your dad blinking slowly at you.

“You have a tattoo young lady?” he asked. “Where?”

“I’m thinking about it,” you said. “Such a worrier. Come on JJ. Maybe when you’re eighteen we can go get one together.”

“I hate you both,” he said, shaking his head as the popcorn went off.

“We love you too, dad,” you laughed, going over to the stairs with her. She went up first and you glanced back, watching him pour the bag into a few bowls. “Dad.”

“Mhm?”

“Would you really be pissed if I got a tattoo?”

“No. I can’t let the sixteen year old think that though,” he said. “You really want to get one, let me know. Mom and I know a good place to go.”

“I will,” you said, taking a bowl from him.

“Can we watch a movie with dad in it?” asked Zeppelin as you walked up and took a seat.

“Fine, fine. You twins are old enough to see the scary stuff I suppose,” he said.

“What’s the one you and mom were both in?” he asked as you choked on a piece of popcorn, TJ slapping your back.

“No, Zepp, not that one. Maybe My Bloody Valentine if you think they can handle that?” you said. TJ was quick to put it on, your parents chuckling from the far end of the couch.

“Is it scary?” asked Arrow as she wrapped her blanket around herself.

“It’s only a little scary,” said TJ. She climbed into his side between him and Zeppelin.

“Alright, but if it’s too scary I’m gonna leave,” she said.

“You’ll be fine, Ro. It’s all make believe,” said TJ. You excused yourself to the bathroom a little while later, stopping in the family room for a moment when your dad was refilling the bowls.

“You okay?” he asked.

“We should invite the Pads over,” you said. “Family sleepover.”

“Call Jared and the gang,” he said. “They’re always welcome. We can watch Friday the 13th after, make it a night.”

You picked up the house phone and called the Pads house, the phone ringing a few times.

“Padalecki’s,” said Cody.

“Hey Cody, it’s Y/N. How’re you doing?”

“Hey. I’m good. I’ve been staying over Jared and Gen’s house this week, trying to make a point of it to see them everyday. It’s...helping. I might bunk here for a while,” he said.

“I heard you had a rough night,” you said.

“Yeah. I called Jared after a while and he and Gen came and got me. It wasn’t pretty,” he said.

“Next rough night, don’t hesitate to talk to them. They’ll be there,” you said.

“I know. What’s up?” he asked. “Need Jared?”

“No, I was...we’re having a bit of an impromptu family sleepover in the family room. Movies, popcorn, that sort of thing. We wanted to invite you guys over,” you said. Cody was quiet on the other end. “Cody, still there?”

“Yeah. I’m here,” he said. “I’ve never been to a sleepover actually. I was always the loner kid at school. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, I do. Well get your ass and all those guys over here. We’ll have some fun,” you said.

“We’ll be over soon, Y/N,” he said.

“Cody? You ever want to hang out with just me and TJ, that’s cool too. Just shoot us a text,” you said.

“I’ll take you up on that sometime,” he said softly.

“How’s it feeling lately? That belonging feeling,” you said.

“A little better everyday. I’ve never had parents. I’m still getting used to it,” he said.

“You will. We’ll see you guys soon,” you said. You hung up and put the phone back, your dad grabbing some drinks to bring up. “They’ll be over in a little bit.”

“Okay,” he said as you took a few bottles of water in your arms. “I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” you asked.

“No particular reason,” he said. “Just am.”

“Well I’m proud of you too,” you said, starting to walk away. “I like the charity.”

“You do, huh.”

“Yeah. It gives people a chance. Everyone deserves one of those,” you said.

“You know those test cases I was telling you about? There’s been an adoption so far with everyone of them. I have a feeling Cody’s going to end up being okay too,” he said.

“He needed some love was all,” you said.

“Yeah, he did,” he said. “A friend who’s been through it all doesn’t hurt either.”

“I told him it’s the hardest thing he’ll ever do,” you said.

“Did it ever get easier?” he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, it did.”

“When?” he asked.

“Everyday. At some point it went from I don’t know if I can trust you to I know he’d die protecting me. I don’t know when it happened but at some point, I knew it was okay. The letters never hurt either,” you said.

“Jared wrote Cody a letter,” he said. You smiled, your dad nodding. “When he’s ready for it. Don’t spoil the surprise though.”

“I won’t. He’ll love it,” you said.

“You know they wanted to adopt because of you,” he said. “You did that. Cody someday. Five other people that were test cases. You helped all those people find families.”

“I didn’t do that, you did,” you said.

“I just put some money into it. You showed me where there was a flaw, a flaw you were so scared of happening to you. I don’t want people to be scared. Kids shouldn’t be scared. It won’t always work out but it gives them a chance,” he said. “You did that.”

“Hey. Hallmark channel,” said Arrow, both your heads whipping over to the stairs. “You two coming back or what?”

“The sass on that child,” you said.

“I’m so proud of my baby girl,” he said, putting a hand on his heart.

“Maybe if you helped bring up some snacks, the faster we’d get back,” you said.

“Fine,” she groaned, taking some bottles up in her arms. Your dad headed up ahead of you and you followed after, the movie back on after a few minutes. You saw the headlights from the Padaleckis car swing through the windows and you smiled, resting your head on TJ’s shoulder.

“I love you,” he said, kissing your cheek.

“I love you too, babe. Always.”

__________

A/N: Check out the Father’s Day timestamp here!

#spn #supernatural #spngenrebingo #jensen x daughter!reader #rpf #au #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #reader insert #spn fanfiction #jensen x

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ghostmartyr · 5 years

Text

SnK 112 Thoughts

Congrats to Eren on giving all the good people contributing to his series’ Wild Mass Guessing page a shout-out. Good on you, man. You’ve got my vote on your cult not doing anything wrong or aggravatingly stupid ever.

Also, Zeke!

It’s rare we see such a prime example of a leader in a shounen manga knowing how to delegate. Props, my man!

I hope Annie kicks both your heads off!

This is an emotional chapter.

Before we begin, I have one thing I need to get off my chest.

Thank you for your time.

First thing first!

I love how Nicolo’s entire theory is, “something shady is up with the wine and idk Zeke and spinal fluid sounds right????” This entire chapter is one long tribute to everything the fandom has ever screamed about and it is fantastic in that one aspect.

Also, hey, hope for Falco. Zeke waits until all the bottles are empty before he screams, so I would guess that he at least prefers his victims to be properly dosed. Falco should be okay. The blunt force trauma might actually be the more concerning bit for the bright and shiny little one.

Another thing I love is how every single mention of Marley somehow makes Marley come across even worse.

Sorry, that’s not fair.

I love how every single mention of Marley reminds and confirms that they are the worse, and the reminders serve to dig that knowledge deeper into all our souls until we almost don’t mind when innocent civilians are wiped off the map if it means that structure no longer exists.

“Almost” being subject to innate character and morality.

Eren does not recognize the union of “almost” and adds the asterisk of “younglings” after “innocent civilians.”

Hell though, Nicolo. At least you found yourself, even if it did come after battering a child into unconsciousness. And you kept Connie and Jean from drinking the bad juice.

I really like the interaction between Nicolo and Sasha’s dad. Nicolo’s not the man he is. He loses himself in his anger and only chance stops him from crossing a very serious line.

But Mr. Blouse is the type of man Nicolo can see the merit in, and define himself by that gap because the end of that gap is something so much better than the man who come close to murdering children.

Some people are still learning to be better, even now, because of the good people they surround themselves by.

Gabi has been surrounded by nothing but warmth (barring Nicolo and Kaya’s trauma) since arriving to Paradis. Falco is a good guy. Mikasa and Armin are good people. The family of the soldier she killed are good people.

She isn’t charging at Mikasa and Armin (and geez every time these kids get a distance shot when the other characters are standing up it fucks me up; they are too tiny for any of this). She’s been passionately defending everything she and Marley has done, but now she’s quiet, and all she can do is ask for her friend, who keeps saving her life, to not be killed. All she can do is offer up her life to make up for the crimes that she can’t imagine being forgiven.

She is so young. Killing and violence and death are the obvious conclusions to her. She’s been taught that, and she excels at that, but now she keeps finding people who are willing to stand down and not kill her.

Reiner’s character is a slow stumble into his morality breaking his mind. Slowly, the idea that these people he’s surrounded by are people encroaches.

Gabi’s thrown into the deep end and the plot keeps shoving her head down when she struggles to the surface to breathe. None of this has been kind on her. The violent assault on her sanity is the kind she’s only ever been exposed to physically.

I haven’t put much thought into what I want from the Warriors, because thoughts of anything Marley adjacent always tend to irritate me. They’re trapped in a broken cycle that they’re perpetuating, and that makes them impossible to root for.

But I think Gabi needs her cousin.

She’s always wanted to be strong for him, and he’s only clinging to life because he wants to be strong for her and Falco.

Reiner knows what it’s like to learn that your simple world is infinitely more complicated than you can bear. This is his little cousin, and she’s gone through the crash course version of his nightmare. She doesn’t need the right answer that makes it all okay (there isn’t one), but a hug and someone understanding all of the twisting moral paradoxes shattering her insides would be such a helpful thing.

Heck, it would be good for Reiner, too. Seeing all of his pain in someone he doesn’t have the heart to blame. Maybe he could find some sort of path to peace in that.

Then everything just goes straight to hell.

Despite this chapter’s... this chapter...ness, Eren stepping straight into the backroom with his hand covered in blood? Hella fucking cool. Like. That is one thing I absolutely did not see coming, and it is a great way to bring him on back in.

I thought he wouldn’t get to talk to Armin or Mikasa until his plan exploded and they needed to bail him out. I never once expected him to just walk right in and take his buddies hostage for a nice, quiet conversation.

That said, yike.

Yike, yike, and dare I say it, yikes.

Grior reveals Our Heroes’ location, and that’s... really scary in itself, because Grior tells him that he’s grown too close with Eldians, yet Grior is helping the fanatical Eldians act in accordance with Zeke’s plans.

So it isn’t that Nicolo’s gotten too close with Eldians, it’s that he’s grown close to them without the purpose of exploiting them. Which, as every Marleyan soldier knows, is a bad thing.

And Floch doesn’t mind. He’s accepting the help of Grior without any comment.

Let’s do a brief headcount: Yelena, Zeke, and Eren run a cult of fanatic Eldians under the banner of a new Eldian Empire. Paradis’ military is theoretically running Paradis but really sentenced to the whims of said cult. At least one prisoner of war sides with helping out the cult. The Anti-Marley Volunteers (or at least Onyankopon) are in the dark.

Floch is, partially, willing to let Zeke’s plans play out however they may because they can work to destabilize the current Paradis government.

It’s fitting that this chapter is called, “Ignorance.” Willful and unwillful.

And as Eren says, nothing is further from freedom.

Now let’s get to the fun happy times of EMA.

See? Eren gets out of prison and the first thing on his mind is talking to his best friends! Such a touching, emotional sentiment!

...

Yeah, do you guys know where to begin? I don’t.

This is just.

Honestly, I keep moving back to yikes?

Eren is gathering people he has no emotional attachment to to his side, and aggressively pushing his friends away. He is doing everything he can to abandon them on the roadside and make sure they will have zero desire to come crawling back to him.

The question is if he’s doing this because he believes it’s best within his own head, he believes it’s the best response to being threatened into this, or if Eren’s just gone completely haywire in the membrane and his PTSD is finally attacking people besides himself emotionally.

This kind of deliberate cruelty has like. motive.

Mikasa tries to talk to Eren by reminding him of how kind he is. The warmth is what saves her in her mind, not the violence. She’s the one to bring up the kidnapping.

Eren counters.

Nothing like kindness saves her. It’s biology. Friendship doesn’t bind them, slavery does. Happenstance brings them together and keeps them there.

Mikasa argues. She says he’s wrong, and tells him it’s because of him that she’s strong, meaning him as a person.

Eren doesn’t address that. Despite being the one to ask how he’s wrong, when he’s given an attempt at an answer, he keeps monologuing rather than respond to Mikasa’s feelings for him. He brings up her headaches.

Mikasa is dead, and a slave, and he hates her.

“Do you know who I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn’t free.”

Ignorance is furthest from freedom. Even in this script Eren has adopted, no matter how much of it is the truth, if Eren’s seeking to relieve Mikasa of her ignorance, he’s seeking to bring the slave he hates so much freedom. From him.

Funny, she might protect Eren automatically, but she doesn’t have any problem with headaches when Armin punches Eren and makes him bleed.

Armin earns a less prolonged speech before all of it, and it’s...

For both of them, this is the worst thing they could hear from Eren. Armin, as a child, always feels useless next to his strong friends. His huge moment in Trost comes from realizing they never see him that way. It’s all in his head.

This isn’t in his head. This is Eren, telling him he’s useless.

Telling him that Bertolt, who’s only in his head because Eren fought tooth and nail to put him there, is interfering with his free will.

(Also even if everything Eren is saying is the bull it feels like, can has Frieda!Eren? Memory seepage. Canonize my brotp, manga. Do it.

(Double also, lol at Eren saying that memories are part of who you are, and Armin having Bertolt’s means bad things, but Eren having... lots has no effect, he is teh free as a bird. Kiddo, you are not a good bad guy.))

Eren calls himself free before he starts talking. He’s free from his ignorance in a way they are not, and he chooses to enlighten his friends.

Good grief. And more grief. Less than good grief?

Terrible grief?

ALL the grief.

Eren’s the one who wants a peaceful talk with his friends. All so he can beat the crap out of them physically and emotionally.

Eren.

What in the fuck. What reason could you possibly have to need Armin and Mikasa that far away from you? Why do they need to be pushed out of trying to see the good in you?

I’m sure there’s a reason, because story.

But wow.

Killing younglings was one thing. Lording the high ground and your blood brother over your real family?

Your heroic sacrifice where you finally die and everyone’s crying about how you did all this stupid stuff alone but truly for a good cause had better make me cry like a damn baby kid, or you are dead to me.

Additionally, heeeey. Guess what.

Guess what Eren’s learned about important things.

And throwing them away.

Can you guess.

Can you.

It’s the family he has that isn’t pro-murder.

That’s actually of serious interest to me, because one of the things I think the story has been moving towards is an actual examination of the belief that you need to sacrifice things to change things. While Armin states that in a philosophical, hey, this seems like how we win, way, the story has, more and more, focused on the love that keeps people from making certain sacrifices.

Eren’s thrown love, the only reason Armin’s alive to punch him, away.

For as dark as this story is, that’s never been the right choice. Letting people go is understood and respected. Disloyalty is scorned and rejected.

My theory for a while has been that the true answer to these sacrifices is that if you throw away the things you care about to change the world, that world will have changed into something abominable.

The world would be a different place if Sasha didn’t care about killing children.

Sasha being Sasha is why Nicolo tries to fight Zeke’s plans.

Eren’s world without Armin and Mikasa is not going to be a better one for him, and possibly not for anyone else, either.

Then we lead into...

Things that just make me really, really uncomfortable.

I don’t mind people like Levi suggesting that someone eats Zeke, then dies in a few months when Historia eats that person. I. That’s fine. That’s a fine plan, and it makes sense for where they’re at, and anyone who agreed to that would agree, no issue.

Historia’s plotline continues to make me... uncomfortable is really the word. Not the tragic, devastating uncomfortable that Eren’s stuff is. Just... the sickening kind. The fact that people have, off-screen, come to terms with perpetuating the same kind of bloody sacrifice of their children that plagues their entire society after we had an entire arc ending with Historia going hey, actually fuck that...

A thirteen-year-old being bred to eat its mother is a disgusting concept.

I know I’ve said it before, and I realize people are probably done with my feelings on the subject, but if that is really the story being told--even if it avoids that conclusion, the fact that a scheme like that is allowed to get so far without any comment to the contrary except by the Kylo Ren wannabe at the very start--

Why in the fuck should I care what happens to these people?

You raise a child to die for you, you don’t deserve to live.

What happens if they don’t consent in thirteen years? What if they don’t want to eat their mommy? Oh well, we’re going to force you, just like every other Eldian society from the dawn of time? Or guilt you into it because thousands of lives depend on you having none?

Fuck all of you. If that’s your plan, I don’t mind Zeke killing each and every last one of you. I will naturally prefer if he dies in the process, but it’s not the prerequisite you might think.

(Repeated statement that at this point, I will be doing my fandom activities until the series ends, but yeah. This is the place where I choose to opt out, emotionally, if it’s really going down like this.)

Um. In news that actually matters to people who aren’t me, heeeeey, Levi alone in the forest with 31 titans.

This is why the SnK kinkmeme was created.

It’s also really sad.

They killed the titans inside their home.

Zeke’s bringing them back.

Annie needs to kick so many people in the head I can’t even.

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 112 #Shiganshina Trio #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #spoilers #tl;dr #chapter post

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statticscribbles · 3 years

Text

Strongest Pt 2

Summary: Sweet Pea/Reader Request: Pt 2 to Strongest

“Listen I don’t want to cause anything; but is everything okay between you and Sweet Pea?” You turn confused to Betty who sits next to you. “As far as I know it is; why? Is he saying something?” “No it’s just; Jughead’s been seeming more stressed lately and it seems to constantly lead back to Sweet Pea.” “I mean maybe its cause he’s been trying to actually take paying work? Since I’m taking any shifts I can at Pop’s but even then it’s not much; or near enough when it comes to being able to have any sort of savings.” Betty nods chewing her lip.

“I know it’s probably a bit late to be talking about this; but are you going to keep it?” You nod. “Yeah; I mean I thought about you know; just getting rid of it; and then about what happened to Polly; going to the sister’s giving it up for adoption but I just; I got scared. Like the thought of this kid just getting rejected right from the get go; like all the Southsider’s deal with shit, we’ve all been rejected or overlooked but the though of having abandoned it; just; I couldn’t do it.” “Well I think it’s really good that Sweet Pea’s stepping up to actually help. I was pretty surprised when he told us he got another job to help support you. It’s sweet.” “Surprised?” You furrow your brow.

“Well yeah I mean Southsider’s aren’t known for their parenting skills. I mean you’ve heard what happened to my mom.” “Like father like son.” You mutter chuckling to yourself freezing when Betty glares at you. “I can’t believe you’d imply that Jughead would do something like that to me! That’s horrible of you; just because you don’t have the mind to be safe about these things.” She snaps and you can’t help the red you see; you thankfully have the excuse to blame hormones for now. Although even as you’re saying it you’re regretting it. “It’s not an implication; it’s fact; who do you think he was slumming it with when you threw a fit and broke it off with him?” “He what?” You swallow shaking your head. “Nothing it was a low dig I didn’t- Betty wait! Fuck.” You hold your face in your hands.

“Y/N? You okay?” “I just fucked everything up. I’m gonna die.” You look up to see Toni and Cheryl standing in front of you. “Betty knows.” “Oh; well shit. I mean that’s not really your problem; it’s Jughead’s. Don’t stress about it.” Toni awkwardly pats your shoulder. “How about something to cheer you up?” “Cheryl I don’t think anything can cheer me up; why are you handing me your credit card.”

“Because yesterday Fangs told me you were stressing about clothes because you’ve been spending most of the pay checks you’ve been earning on practical things like diapers and food; like hell if I’m letting my god child be dressed in rags.” “Cheryl you don’t have to, really it’s fine.” “So I am a god-parent.” She smirks and Toni raises an eyebrow. “Well yeah, both you and Toni are like live savers for me right now and-“ “Cheryl calm down. People are staring.” Toni sighs smiling at you as Cheryl untangles herself from the hug she’s given you. ————————————————

You look confused to where Sweet Pea sits half asleep half holding a book. “What’re you doing?” “Reading?” “Sweets you just got home from a double shift you can read whatever it is later; you need to rest.” “You’re upset at me cause I’m reading?” “I don’t care about the books; just rest please.” “No not about the books; something else then.” He hums when you nod sinking onto the couch. “Betty knows; I fucked up and let it slip and now she knows and she hates me and Jughead is gonna kick me outta the serpents and-“ “Whoa hey babe, no he’s not; no he’s not; come here love. It’s okay; it’ll work out.” He moves over pulling you onto his lap instead of where you’d settled on the couch. “Did you know-“

“Babe please, please don’t tell me any weird or scary pregnancy facts” “I was just going to say I love you.” “Oh.” your face flushes and he beams. “You’re adorable when you’re embarrassed you know that right?” “I’m not; I’m awful and-“ “Please don’t finish that sentence or I’m going to have to start learning poetry to combat your self hatred. I love you; no matter what you look like; even if you’re gonna go all stereotypical and complain how fat and horrible you think you look, I don’t think that and nothing you can do will change my mind.” ———————————————————————————-

“Listen Y/N; I know I’ve been a huge asshole lately but I want to try to help.” “Is this cause Betty threatened to break up with you again?” “No, Betty has nothing to do with this.” “So you already broke up then?” “Will you listen? Christ I’m trying to be helpful and here you are acting like-“ “Like what Jones? You have something else to say to make her cry? Or anything to add to her stress levels? You really want to ‘just talk’ I mean it’s obvious how Betty’s not talking to you again.” “Sweet Pea this doesn’t concern you it’s between me and Y/N” Jughead snaps and you watch slightly amused as you remember the last confrontation you’d heard.

“Its about my girl so it concerns me; about my family too.” “Don’t pull that shit we both know it’s not your kid.” “Oh; so everyone knows you’re just like your dad? Abandoning your kid before they even realize what’s happening? I’ve told you before Jones; you don’t get to be involved unless Y/N needs something; does she need you?” “Well obviously I’m the actual dad.” “Did you ask her?” You sink in your seat and can feel Toni nudging you. “Stress is bad. You want to bounce?” “It is kind of fun to see them awkwardly try to fight. Does everyone really know about Sweet Pea?”

“No I think Jughead’s just trying to rile him up; FP knows though; apparently he’s livid so I’m sure Jughead is stressed from that.” “FP knows?” You laugh a little and Toni looks confused. You pull your phone out scrolling through your photos. “After that little shopping spree Cheryl dragged us on; I was putting stuff away and assumed I must have gotten it as a joke; but I guess FP snuck it in.” Toni snorts smiling and nodding. “Please you have to put the kid in that. Please.” You nod laughing looking up when you hear a cough. “Put him in what?”

“My dad got you something?” You shrug showing the picture to Sweet Pea who grins laughing. “Your dad has good taste Jughead; I’ll give him that.” Jughead rolls his eyes at the tiny leather jacket. “I don’t see why you didn’t bother finding out the gender; it would make the whole clothes shopping easier you know.” “And what would you know about that?” You shake your head at him and he shrugs. “Well if you let me help;” “You just want to get back in your dad and Betty’s good books.” “Speaking of Betty.”Toni mumbles and you turn when she walks up.

“Hey Y/N can we talk; alone.” She glares at Jughead and you nod following her out of everyone’s earshot. “I’m sorry about how I reacted earlier. I shouldn’t have been so upset at you.” Her hand brushes your shoulder. “I mean you had a right to be; you’d found out your boyfriend slept around and then knocked up one of the people he was sleeping around with.” “It doesn’t mean I should take my anger out on you.” You shrug. “You didn’t really.”

“Toni and Cheryl told me how it was stressing you out and-“ “Betty; a lot of things are stressing me out; I’m becoming a southside statistic; I’m working any chance I get at Pop’s or the Wyrm when Sweet’s doesn’t notice. He’s pulling double shifts. We’re trying to get something saved up for hospital bills; not to mention just regular baby stuff; so you being a little bitter cause your boyfriend caused all this is okay. I am also a little bitter.” “If it makes you feel better FP is making him use part of his tuition money.” “For what?” “Whatever you need according to how pissed FP was.” “I should talk to him.” “Jughead?” “No FP.” Betty nods. “Do you want company?” ———————————————————————-

You tap at the trailer door. Waiting until FP opens it. “Jughead isn’t home; but I’m guessing that’s why you’re here. Come in.” “You don’t need to make him use his money on-“ “Y/N calm down; I’m not making him; I strongly suggested it and then explained why it was the best idea; if he puts money towards the kid now; you’ll be less likely to wreak havoc later; not saying you would but just in case. Besides the rest of the Serpent’s are already pitching in and- Don’t you dare say no; we’re you’re family, and family take care of there own; besides you know what they say about baby rattlesnakes right?” “Is this another famous snake fact?”

“Yes, yes it is; baby rattlesnakes are more venomous than the adults. That kid is going to be so protected bubble wrap will be out of a job.” You laugh and FP smiles. “Seriously Y/N just cause my son doesn’t want anything to do with his kid doesn’t mean I want the same thing.” “I dunno you, being a grandfather? I can’t see it.” “I’m already retired, besides I heard your mom kicked you out; you’ll need someone to babysit who has experience.” “You heard about that?”

“Yeah, apparently you told Sweet Pea not to tell anyone? Like I said, we’re family; we’re here to take care of you. You’re a kid; you need help; please ask for it. Please.” You nod sighing. “Come here.” You lean into FP as he hugs you. “I’m sorry you’re in this mess; I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Jug; I’m sorry I can’t do more to help.”You nod wiping your eyes. “It’s okay dad don’t sweat it.” You can tell he lets the slip up go. “I won’t. I just have one request..” “I’m not naming him Forsythe if he’s a boy.” “I was going to say to not get me any of those ‘worlds best grandpa things’ but that too.” “Well now that’s all your getting.” FP glares but you can tell he doesn’t mean it. ————————————————

You frown when you see your mom sitting on the couch. She dangles the spare key in front of you before setting it on the table as she stands to hug you. “Y/N I’m so-“ “Don’t.” You cringe back and she sighs. “Honestly this entire mess can still be resolved if you just go to the sisters or-“ “Mom. Please stop.” “No you’re going to throw your entire future away for some child that the father doesn’t even want; you’re slumming it with some lesser Serpent cause he said whatever he did to get in your good books so he can sleep with you; you know that right? Whoever he is doesn’t actually care about you or the child; nobody cares about it besides you sweetheart; it would be better to just get rid of it.” “Mom just, please leave I get you think I’m making a mistake but it’s my choice and-“

“Exactly, it’s your choice you’re just a child; you can’t make a decision like this and expect to pick the right answer. Until you change your mind; until you make the right choice, the only choice I can’t be a part of this.” “I never expected you to be. It’s why I left; why I came here with-“ “Y/N I don’t care anymore. You’re free to ruin your life without me. I just came to let you know is all.” “You came to rub it in my face you’ve kicked me out of the house?” “Not to rub it in your face just to say goodbye for now; until you reevaluate your life.” She smiles as she leaves patting your shoulder. ———————————————————

You try your best not to wake Sweet Pea but when you shift over and sniffle slightly too loudly his hand twitches and he mumbles sleepily. “It’s okay Sweets; it’s nothing.” You assure him; you know you probably sound a little panicky a by product of the nightmare you’d just had. You swallow shifting backwards in the bed hoping he can’t feel you shaking. “You sure? Is Peanut okay?” “Peanut?” You watch as his face pulls back sheepishly. “Been calling him peanut in my head, easier that saying it, or the kid every time. I can stop if-“ You kiss him softly and he pulls you into his arms sighing. “It’s not peanut; just had a nightmare.” “You want to talk about it?”

“You weren’t there. I don’t know why but you just couldn’t make it and no one else was there and I was alone and-“ “Hey; hey baby it’s okay. I’ll be there I promise.” “Don’t say that.” “Well I did; and I’m going to. Can you sleep more right now its only four am.” “No I can’t.” You grumble and he smiles kissing you on the forehead. “We should probably figure out what to do whenever peanut decides to come out huh?” “Yeah I guess.” “You guess? You expect he’s just going to ask us if it’s convenient? Send us a letter or something?” You laugh shaking your head. “Just pack a bag and go to the hospital; like normal people.”

“You could always schedule it; it’d cost more but probably better in the long run.” “Oh yeah let me just call Peanut and see when he’s free.” “No babe; like a c-section. You can-“ “I don’t think that’s safe.”You shrug and Sweet Pea frowns. “ Did you know-“ “If you tell me any scary pregnancy facts I’ll cry.” “Babe… It’s just numbers about teen pregnancy; which you are, sort of. Most teen pregnancy births end in c-sections; it’s safer for everyone involved. You can’t just pretend nothing bad is ever going to happen.” “I can and I will, denial is my best friend right now.” “Y/N; what’s actually going on? It’s not just the nightmare is it.”

“My mom came over earlier.” “What did she say love?” You shake your head hiding your face in his chest. “I’m gonna end up like her and you’re going to leave; peanut won’t have his dad around and he’ll hate me.” “That’s not going to happen; you have me. I’m here; no matter what.” He kisses you and you smile into it. “I know; I love you.” “I love you too; but back to the Peanut issue. A C-section might-“ “No. That’s surgery; that’s too expensive we can’t afford that.” “Cheryl-“ “No I’m not asking anyone else to do shit for me and-“ His hand runs through your hair.

“Y/N; she almost strangled me when I told her and Betty you didn’t want a baby shower; she keeps tipping me fifties when Toni lets me take her shifts. Just ask, that’s all I’m asking.” You chew your lip. “It would make sure I could be there; you wouldn’t be in pain.” “Like FP won’t let you take off for you own kid being born…” You glare at him and he laughs. “I wouldn’t put it past him.” He coughs and you frown. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” “Sweet Pea; I can tell something just happened.”

“It’s nothing.” You watch as he snuggles closer to you, you can feel him smiling into your hair. “Sweets. Come on; I just had a nightmare. I’m having your kid; tell me what made you happy.” “That.” He grins and you look confused at him. “I had a nightmare?” “No, that’s horrible; I meant the thing you said about peanut.”

“What about him?” You chew your lip thinking back to everything you’ve said. “Is it about the C-section?” “No it’s just; don’t make me say it.” “No I legit don’t understand what’s got you so happy?” “You said he’s mine.” You nod dumbly at him. “Yes? That’s kind of a fact? Why is that making you happy?” “It’s nice to hear you say it.” You nod still slightly confused. “I mean you are his dad? You’re the one taking care of me and him.” “Or her.” He corrects grinning and you roll your eyes. “Or her; you’re the one who’s got me saying him; I think Fangs is the only one still on the ‘it’s a girl train.’ Cheryl was but Toni somehow convinced her.” ——————————————————————

You glare at Sweet Pea when he walks in. “What’s wrong?” “Cheryl agreed.” “To what? There’s a lot of things I asked her for in the- I’m joking babe, I’m joking! I didn’t ask her for anything. Besides that fancy ass crib she- IT’S A JOKE Y/N.” “The 15th at 9 am. That’s only a week early. I called FP already so he knows; so you have two weeks after that off.” “Oh, oh shit!” You watch his face and laugh when it clicks. “Yeah.” “Holy fuck we’re going to be parents.” “Yes? We’ve known for months?” “Well yeah there’s a date, and time now. It’s serious; like real, really real. Holy fuck.” He mumbles walking over to lean over to kiss you.

——————————————————-

“I expect you to be more stressed.” Sweet pea shrugs and you arch an eyebrow. “One, I can’t feel anything from my waist down; two since this is all scheduled I’m pretty much waiting for them to call me back.” “Surgery’s kind of a big deal.” He reaches for your hand and you squeeze it. “Didn’t you read all sorts of statistics about teen pregnancy and c-sections in the books you got?” “Well yeah; but it’s different seeing it on paper and it being you.” “How is that different?” “Well I love you; I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” “It won’t. If you start listing all the thing that can go wrong; I won’t; let you hold peanut.” “You can’t make me not hold my own kid Y/N that’s the dumbest threat I’ve ever heard.” “But it’s still a threat.” “A real threat would be putting Jones’ name on the birth certificate.” “Isn’t that what she’s doing?” Fangs question and you laugh as he drags a parade of balloons into the room. “Cheryl made me get both.”

“I get the pink and blue cause we kept it a secret but uh, why are there four; it’s not twins.” “From her and then from Toni I guess.” Fangs shrugs. “Is that a toy snake?” “Yeah, gotta make sure she loves snakes duh.” Fangs grins and you shake your head laughing. “You have to tell us the name!” Toni interrupts; Cheryl following her. “No I’ve already told you we’re not revealing that or the gender until they’re born.” “Killjoys.” Cheryl laughs smiling at you. —————————————————–

You wake up to the room being empty save for Sweet Pea curled on the chair; you watch him for a moment debating alerting him you’re awake before you can he turns back towards where you can hear the beginning of crying. “Hey whoa, no, no need to get so upset; come on you have to let mom sleep a bit; she can’t take you home unless she’s slept; I know you miss her it’s okay I do to. Now, we have- don’t look at me like that I need your help. Yeah exactly.” You watch Sweet Pea nodding as he looks down at your son, you can see his hand waving, he must have gotten it free while he was sleeping.

“Okay business time and then we can wake mom up yeah? Good; now, black or green? I was thinking green cause you know Serpents but blacks traditional. What do you think? No I’ll show you it in a second you have to help me choose, it’s a family thing after all. So; black or green.” He grins and you only hear laughter in response, you shift pretending to wake up and Sweet Pea grins. “Shit.” You hear him mumble shoving whatever he was holding into his jacket pocket, you can hear it clank and try your best not to get excited about the idea of him giving you your own key.

“Look it’s mom!” You can’t help but smile, Sweet Pea handing him over and you laugh when he cries. “Aw do you miss dad? It’s okay he’s like not even a foot away. You’re just unable to tell, you’ll get your object permanence soon.” “Hey you read some of the books!” Sweet Pea grins and you laugh nodding. “Of course; I was pregnant; I sort of had to.” Sweet Pea nods. “Hey listen this is kinda silly but can I take you out to dinner soon; like a proper date?”

“Yeah? They said I need like six weeks to heal from this; movement wise at least; but I don’t see why we can’t go to Pop’s or somewhere else later in the week when we’re a bit more coherent.” “So you mean when you’re not so drugged up you can’t feel your toes.” “Basically yes; why? We went on a date the other day.” “Yeah but I want to go on a date as a family, well like us; you know celebrating we’re a family.” You can see how his face changes, how he stutters and you can tell he’s nervous about whatever he’s planning. You laugh. “What?” His face falls as you grin. “I heard you, well the tail end of your very important conversation.” Sweet Pea’s face pales. “You did?”

“Yes, if you’re going to give me a key you know I don’t care about the colour.” Sweet Pea nods and hides his face. “Aw come on it’s not that hard to figure it out Pea.” “I know just I wanted to surprise you.” “It’s okay I’ll probably forget half of this by tomorrow.” He nods grinning.

“Hopefully.” He winks as the nurse explains you can go home, he helps you into the wheelchair and when you shiver he drapes his jacket over you. He’s distracted with loading everything into the car when you slide your hands into the pockets confused to feel an open box. You fish your hand around deeper trying to figure out where the key meant for you is instead finding a ring catching on your finger.

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