Shinigami: Do you believe in the existence of evil?
Karai: Did you meet my father?
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Pete: Henri, do you think, like maybe someday, you might want to get married and have kids?
Henrietta: No.
Pete: But, what if you met just the right man who worshipped and adored you, who'd do anything for you, who'd be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?
Henrietta: I'd pity him.
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Charlie: Alastor! I believe we may have a new guest, Miss L/N.
Y/N: Y/N. (to Alastor) Isn't he a lady killer!
Alastor: Acquitted.
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Tim accidentally gets hit with some sort of magic spell during patrol and it severely alters his appearance/personality. The Batfam doesn’t take it well…
Zatanna: *reading from a book* “… warning signs: Severe alterations in appearance and personality. Such alterations can become permanent.”
Dick: *gasps* Permanent?! Those golden curls?
Stephanie: Those rosy cheeks?
Bruce: That smile?
Zatanna: “These terrifying changes are often a result of a troubled family life. Separations,…”
Bruce: Separations? You mean—
Cass: Jason!
Zatanna: Bingo! This kid knows that something’s not right around here! Unless Jason comes back, we’re talking dimples!
Bruce: NOT IN THIS HOUSE!
Zatanna: He could stay this way for years! Forever. He could become… *looks back at the book* a lawyer!
Bruce: *turning away angrily* I won’t listen!
Zatanna: An orthodontist!
Stephanie: *near tears* Zatanna, stop!
Zatanna: …President.
Cass: *closes her eyes in silent despair*
Alfred: *groaning and holding his head*
Dick: *clutching the railing* Please! I beg you, take me! *begins sobbing*
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Derek: This is Eli. He’s at that special age when a boy only has one thing on his mind.
Stiles: Girls?
Eli: Homicide.
Stiles: That's my boy!
(source: Sh4d0w_ice Twitter)
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Bianca: Wednesday your new boyfriend is a ladykiller
Y/N: (laughs) acquitted!
Wednesday embraces her love…
Bianca:
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Baby Zuko: My parents had a baby! Mama kissed Daddy and the fairies told the stork! And the stork left a diamond under the fire lily petals! And the diamond turned into a baby!
Baby Sokka: My parents had a baby too. They had sex.
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When Hargreeves siblings met Sissy
Klaus: Five is at that special age when a boy has only one thing on his mind.
Sissy, not aware of Five's actual age: *smiles* Girls?
Five, annoyed: Homicide.
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💚: Leyley is at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Friend B: Boys?
🩷: Homicide.
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Ballister: Nimona is at that very special age where a girl only has one thing on her mind.
Ambrosius: Other girls?
Nimona: Homicide.
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April: Let’s discuss how to prevent forest fires.
Karai: Prevent them?
Karai: *lights a match*
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Bruce: Damian is at that special age where there's only one thing on his mind.
Dick: Girls?
Damian: Homicide.
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King, watching Katakuri sleep: Look at her.
King: I would die for her.
King: I would Kill for her.
King: Either way, what bliss.
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Jason: Do you remember our honeymoon?
Roy: *grinning* That glorious cruise.
Jason: No calls
Roy: No cares
Jason: No survivors
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