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ktkat99 · 11 months
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Kon, showing up at the manor holding a bale of hay in one hand and Bernard in the other- Tim, you've got to start checking your texts for autocorrect. That last one you sent me said 'can you come over and bring some gay?' I'm assuming you meant hay but I brought Bernard just in case
Tim, who just wanted some help with the damn cow his father and brother decided to bring home-..?
Bernard- Hi!
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thursdaybandcomments · 8 months
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cod-dump · 7 months
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Soap: Si, this lady keeps looking at me from that table over there.
Ghost: *hard side eye*
Soap: No! No, love, don't look over--
Ghost: *eyebrow* Gimme your left hand.
Soap: *hands it over*
Ghost, pointing out his wedding band: Wow, a married man? Look at that. Incredible. Your HUSBAND must be SO LUCKY to have you, Johnny, wow--
Soap: Okay, I think--
Ghost: WOW I mean look at that, John MacTavish, married man.
Soap, trying not to blush: Ye've made yer point, Romeo
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Ruby: Ow! Hey!
Weiss: Give it back Arc!
Blake: Why do you even want a Teleporter to Earth?
Jaune: Because I love Latinas RWBY. Adios Amigas!
*Vwoop*
Yang: ... You know what? Respect.
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Mondo Gecko: Careful, there’s a sleeping man right here. Leatherhead: Uh, I’m pretty sure he’s not sleeping. Slash: Yeah. I don't think he’s gonna wake up, Mondo. Rockwell: Look, look, I’m a doctor! I’ll diagnose what’s wrong. Slash: Alright, diagnose, what’s wrong with him? Leatherhead: What’s wrong with this man, Rockwell? Rockwell: He’s dead. Diagnoses is over.
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thattheater-kid · 2 months
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*Game night in the hotel*
Vaggie: I HATE YOU!
Angel: OH? WELL, NEXT TIME DON’T STEAL MY MONOPOLY!
Charlie: Angel, give Vaggie your 200 dollars, you landed on her property.
Angel: NO! SHE’S IN JAIL! I’M NOT GONNA GIVE MONEY TO A CRIMINAL!
Vaggie: That’s not how you PLAYYYYY!
Niffty: Husk, why is Vaggie screaming?
Husk: Shut the fuck up, Niffty. You don’t get to talk after stealing my last railroad!
Vaggie: I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!
Charlie: ME TOO! YOU THINK I WANTED THIS
Niffty: AHHHHHH!
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seneon · 2 months
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so rayne has rabbits named usayama, usaoni, usakichi, usakotou, usami, usazuke, usazou, usatarou, and usanoshin 💀 that's 9 rabbits in total.
mash names his muscles tom, kevin, kim, mike, yukari, yamada, koji, satomi, etc. this show is unserious 💀💀
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marsinout · 4 months
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Charles: Hey you guys, wanna get some d-e-s-s-e-r-t? Oscar: Yeah dude, I need a t-r-e-a-t. Lando: Whatcha guys talking about? :) Carlos: Yeah, why did you guys just spell dess- Charles: NONONO! SHHHHH! Oscar: SHUT UP! Don't say it! Carlos: ...uh...why? Oscar: Oh god how do we tell you this... Charles: Lando... can't spell... Carlos: ... Carlos: WHAT? Oscar: He can't spell, so when we talk about something he wants, we spell it outloud so he doesn't get too excited. Carlos: He's a grown man, he can't handle hearing the word “treat”? Lando: TREAT? Charles: NO TREAT! Lando: TREAT? Charles: NO TREAT! Lando: TREAT? Charles: NO TREAT! Lando: Awwww... 😔
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Wild: How tall are you?
Warriors: 6 feet.
*later*
Wild: How tall are you?
Four turns omoniously to stare at Wild: I AM 4 FEET AND 4 INCHES AND 1 QUARTER. Leans froward to grab Wild I WILL DESTROY YOU.
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Lucifer: You wanna cut deep, huh? You wanna play dirty? Alright…
Lucifer: You’re. Not. Masculine.
Adam: *offended noise* You overrated little twink!
Lucifer: Hey- I am a twunk, alright? That is a combination- twink and hunk!
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Michael: Has anyone seen my son?? Oh, God, Helpy!
Michael: That father’s adrenaline is kicking in! HELPY!
Michael: I can see every equation!
Michael, approaching a customer: Excuse me, ma’am, have you seen my son? He’s a little animatronic bear, about this tall-
Michael, searching through the ball pit: HELPY, ARE YOU IN THERE?! HELPY!
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marsinoff · 1 month
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Pierre: Another day, another me- Esteban: Don't let this distract you from the fact that Pierre Gasly is now 21st in the championship. Pierre: Esteban: Pierre: Is that a joke? Esteban: No. It's a fac- *gets punched by Pierre*
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picklepie888 · 2 years
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Mina: The bird flu? Uh, yeah. They tend to do that.
Quincey: You mean to tell me a shrimp fried this rice?
Arthur: What's upstairs? Stairs can't talk.
Jack: Apartment complex? I find it quite simple.
Jonathan: Road work ahead? Uh...yeah. I sure hope it does!
Lucy: Chef's kiss? Do they really?
Van Helsing: Based? Based on what?!
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cod-dump · 6 months
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Alex: Farah! The weapons shipment is here, they need to come in--
Farah: I don't have a hijab!
Alex: *throws a blanket over her*
Farah:
Alex:
Farah: This works.
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rwby-encrusted-blog · 3 months
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Jaune: three of the hardest things to say
Jaune: I was wrong.
Jaune: I need Help.
Jaune: Worcrester sauce. Worsester- worshchester- Worstshestshire-
Jaune: *Holding the script really close* Worsecestershear-
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Casey: I was hanging out with April, Karai and Shinigami. Mikey: How was it? Casey: It was actually pretty fun. I said a lot of sexist shit. Leo: That's your definition of "fun"? Casey: They laughed though. Leo, Donnie, Raph & Mikey: ... Casey: The sexist stuff was towards men. Don't get it wrong. See how you assumed it was towards women? Donnie: Cause that's usually what you do. Casey: No, it was towards men today. Raph: "Today".
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