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#Spencer Reid Fan Fiction
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Cover Up
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1k
Warnings: implied smut
Summary: You hooked up with someone expecting to keep him as a one-and-done. You didn't expect him to show up at your college.
Square Filled: "You are one fine specimen, and I'm not saying that because I'm drunk.” for @spencerreidbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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Shit. Shit. Shit. You’re so late. You can’t be late for your first day of college. You had a bit too much to drink last night which caused you to sleep in longer than you wanted to. You’re so late that you didn’t have time to do your makeup. Eh, you can do it when you get to school. The drive is only thirty minutes but with morning traffic, it takes forty-five.
Meet me in the bathroom by the cafeteria! Emergency! You send to your best friend.
You rush from your car all the way to the bathroom before anyone else has a chance to see how messed up you look. You have everything you need in your backpack to fix your look, and you almost cringe at yourself when you look in the mirror.
“Man, I need to stop drinking,” you shake your head.
You take out your brush and comb your hair when Madison walks in.
“Y/N?”
“Over here.”
“Are you okay? What happened?”
“I woke up late. I didn’t have time to do my makeup. I need to use yours.”
“You texted me this is an emergency. I blew off Jason just to come here.”
“Mads, this is an emergency. Look at me. I can’t go to class looking like this. I still have pimples on my face. Can I use your makeup or not?”
“Of course.” She sets her backpack on the counter and takes out the massive bag containing everything she needs for a full face of makeup. It’s a damn good thing you’re the exact shade as her. “Why’d you wake up late?”
“I was out late last night.”
“And?”
“Why does there have to be an and?”
“Bitch, I know you.”
“I had too much to drink,” you sigh.
“There it is,” she laughs. “Who’d you do?”
“Why does there have to be a guy?” you chuckle and look at her. She raises an eyebrow as if you could actually fool her. “Okay, I don’t know his name. I was too busy making out with him to ask.”
“Do tell,” she smirks. You grab an elastic and put your hair up to have it out of the way while you do your makeup. She gasps when she sees the dark purple marks on your neck. “What the fuck are those?”
“So, they’re noticeable?”
“Noticeable? It looks like he was trying to suck your blood. God damn.”
“Mads, when I tell you this man was so fine, I mean it. I thought he was shy and awkward because he had that look about him, but he was the complete opposite. He took me to the back where the bathrooms were and had his way with me. God, he was so big,” you gasp.
“Tell me you got his number.”
“His friends came and got him before we could say anything. I don’t even know his name. I had to go home and put my vibrator to good use even after the orgasms he gave me.”
“Okay, new mission in life, find that man. It’s been a while since you let someone ruffle your feathers.”
“Yeah,” you chuckle.
You grab what you need and cover your marks as much as you can. They’re so dark that the foundation can’t cover it completely, but with your hair down, it’s manageable. Once you feel like you can walk out in public, you hand everything back to her.
“Okay, we’re good to go. Thank you.”
“Anytime,” she winks.
You take one look at yourself and remember what it was like to have his hands on your body.
You’ve never done this with a stranger before. Sure, you’ve had public sex before but nothing like this. None of your flings had this much passion. You’ve only met this man not even an hour ago and his tongue is down your throat.
There is a family bathroom next to the men’s and women’s restrooms, so he shoves you into that one and locks the door behind him. He grabs your hips and lifts you so that you can wrap your legs around his slender waist. He shoves his hand between your legs as his lips trail down your neck.
“You are one fine specimen, and I'm not saying that because I'm drunk,” you moan.
All you can focus on is the way his fingers are rubbing on your clothed clit and how his lips are sucking on your neck.
“Y/N!” You snap out of your trance and look at her. “We’re going to be late. Come on.”
“Right.”
You two leave the bathroom and head in the direction of your first class, Criminal Justice 101.
“Tell me what he looks like. It’ll help me try to find him.”
“Curly brown hair, brown eyes, very tall, slim build, and he was wearing a sweater vest. Not what you’d think he’d be like. He knew what he was doing, that’s for sure,” you chuckle. “I don’t know anything about him.”
“You just know what his tongue and cock feels like.”
“Madison!” You look away once and run into someone who is reading a book. “Watch where you’re going.”
“That is no way to speak to a professor, young lady.”
You look back and see the Dean of the school escorting one of the new professors. You lock eyes with the new professor with wide eyes. He’s the man you fucked last night. He recognizes you but doesn’t say anything about it. Madison can guess what happened based on how you’re looking at him.
“Sorry,” you mumble.
“No, it was my fault,” he chuckles.
“Come, Dr. Reid. I’ll show you to Criminal Justice 101.”
“Wait, you’re teaching that class?” you ask, stopping the two men from leaving.
“Yeah.”
Madison grabs your shoulders and grins at Dr. Reid.
“Lucky for us, we’re your students.”
“Can’t wait,” he chuckles.
The Dean leaves expecting Dr. Reid to follow but the young doctor leans closer to you so you’re the only one who hears him.
“It’s a shame you covered them up. I’ll just have to make more.”
Your mouth drops open as he jogs to catch up with the Dean. You’re totally fucked. It’ll make class more interesting though.
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bunnylovesani · 5 days
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You Belong To Me
Summary: You find out about your husband Spencer’s affair with another woman. It's safe to say you don’t have the reaction either of them were expecting.
Content warnings: infidelity, voyeurism, facetime sex, humiliation, p in v sex, creampie
WC: 2.3k
“Who is she?” You shudder with disgust as you stare into the sunken eyes of your husband. He looked almost unrecognisable to you now that you’d learned of his betrayal. 
“Her name’s Maeve. She’s a geneticist who’s been helping me with those headaches.” He sighs resolutely, knowing there was no point attempting to hide this from you. He didn’t mean to let things escalate but you’d been going through a rough patch and Maeve was just so understanding- she embodied all the things you lacked.
“Did you fuck her?” Your voice trembled with anger, goosebumps piercing through your thin blouse as you braced yourself for his response. 
“No. It was a purely emotional affair.” He stated a little too coldly. 
“Ah. And I suppose that makes it alright, does it?” You scoffed, getting up from the sofa you were curled up on with Spencer mere minutes earlier before he came out with his crushing confession. 
“Of course not. There are no excuses.” He looked down, not daring to meet your appalled gaze. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” 
“Spencer Reid speechless? I never thought I’d see the day.” You chuckle darkly, fidgeting with your wedding band. You loved him with all your heart, the day you said your vows was the happiest of your life- now that he’d broken his, you weren’t sure how much any of it really meant. 
“Were you going to leave me for her?” Against your best efforts, your voice broke with a pitiful crack that left Spencer with a pained expression on his handsome face. 
“No! No, I promise. I would never leave you.” He interjected, leaving no room for doubt. “She was just a distraction. You’re it for me.”
You sunk back into the plushy couch with a defeated sigh, unwelcome tears pricking your glossy eyes. 
“I don’t know, Spence…” You sniffled, beginning to slide the ring off your finger. 
“Baby.” He took your hands into his own as he dropped to his knees before you, still in his work suit. “I messed up. I messed up in the worst way possible. I’m a fucking idiot. But if you forgive me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Please, my love. I’ll do anything.” 
An unfamiliar desperation tinged his voice that made your gut twist into an iron knot. He looked pathetic right now; kneeling on the floor with furrowed eyebrows as he pleaded to save his marriage. 
“I want you to call her.” You exhaled sharply after an excruciating moment of contemplation.
“You- what?” His forehead wrinkles deepened with shock. 
“You heard me. Call the bitch.” He gulped at your request and his eyes darted around frantically as he analysed every possible outcome.
“A video call. I want to see what the little homewrecker looks like.” You spat as he remained motionless, mouth agape and eyes narrowed. “Unless you’d rather get a divorce?” 
“I’ll do it.” He shook his head clumsily, rattled by the whole ordeal. 
“Wonderful. Come sit next to me and prop your phone up on the table.” You patted the spot besides you as Spencer stumbled over, still confused by your unpredictability. 
“Well? What are you waiting for? Start dialling.” You snapped snarkily as he scrolled through his phone with shaky hands. Locating her contact, his fingers hovered above the call button. 
“Dr. Donovan, huh?” You peered over. “The one you told me had been helping you with a case?” 
“Y-yeah.” He whispered ashamedly. 
“Now this I have to see.” You murmured bitterly as the line began to ring. 
“Spence, hi! Wasn’t expecting you to call at this time.” The bubbly voice of the other woman rang out through his speakers. Your eyes zeroed in on the pixelated image of a brunette woman with a choppy fringe. 
“Why, do you guys have a set time for your little calls? When I’m sleeping, perhaps?” You popped into the frame, grinning wildly. 
“Oh. H-hello. Spencer, what’s going on?” She looked to him for help but he just sat there resignedly, knowing he couldn't appease you both. 
“So you’re the one who’s been helping herself to my husband.” You chuckled disingenously. “I thought you’d be a lot prettier.” You neared the phone to get a better look. “Really, baby? Her?��� 
Spencer looked away, not daring to say a word to his wife or his lover.
“And you? You don’t have anything to say?” You opened the floor to Maeve.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her cheeks reddened as she stuttered, her nauseating voice ricocheting off the walls and worming its way into your ears. 
“That’s okay. I don’t need you to talk. Just watch.” You hissed in such a searing way that it made her feel threatened and inclined to obey. 
Spencer looked up at you in confusion but his doubts were swiftly answered when you loosened his tie and ripped off his collared shirt with a murderous lust. 
“Baby, what-“
“You’re not going to say a word.” You smoothly replied, voice barely audible. 
You observed his sad eyes, entrenched with light crows feet that worsened with the weight of stress and regret. You weren’t sure how you were even going to begin to process his betrayal but right now, you had to take care of her first. What better way to drive home the point that he was yours than to show her? 
Unbuckling his heavy leather belt with an urgency you’d never felt, you glanced over to make sure Maeve was watching. Sure enough, the demure woman couldn’t peel her eyes away from the sight unfolding before her. 
As you pulled down his pleated black trousers, you unbuttoned your blouse and pulled down your skirt, throwing the articles of clothing behind you in a rushed hurl. Trailing your fingers down his boxers with your engagement ring flashing in front of the camera, you settled on his waistband. 
“Now, Spence. You’re going to fuck me in front of her.” 
His breath hitched as the unholy words left your smirking mouth. 
“And you-” You turned to face Maeve, who’s hand engulfed her mouth in panic. “You are going to watch it all.“
“No! You’re insane-“
“Or I’ll tell everyone at your work that you’re a home wrecking whore.” You dropped the threat like a hammer and it instantly silenced her.
“That’s what I thought.” 
A twisted grin consumed your face as you looked back at Spencer, who licked his lips at the sight before him- his wife eagerly spread open on the couch, waiting to be filled up. You weren’t sure whether it was an anxious tick or a sign of arousal and frankly, you didn’t care. 
“Show me how sorry you are.” You breathed heavily as you hooked your black lace panties and pulled them to the side.
Needing no further initiative, Spencer lowered his boxers and let his heavy cock spring free from its confines. Despite sex being the last thing on his mind, he couldn’t help the natural reaction his body had to you- it didn’t matter how many times he’d seen it in the last 5 years of your marriage, the sight of you split open for him was always enough to bring him crumbling to his knees. 
Shuffling closer, he let a long string of spit dribble down to your pussy before smearing it around with his painfully swollen tip. He was in a state of delirium and shock as his body moved as though it weren't his own- whatever the consequences, he knew he couldn't lose you.
“You see that, Maeve?” You cocked your head to the side. “That’s all mine.” 
You moaned shakily as he pushed himself in, coating his shaft in your wetness. 
“Isn’t that right, baby? Tell her.” You ordered your husband as he grabbed the back of your thigh, pushing against it to go even deeper. 
“That’s right.” He groaned as he plunged his cock in as deep as it could go, his skin flush against yours. 
“Who do you belong to?” You gazed up at him, running your fingers through his messy curls. 
“You, baby. I belong to you.” He whispers before turning to face the camera. “I belong to her. She owns me.” 
Maeve let out a short huff of disbelief, wanting to look away but struggling. 
“Harder.” You choked out a whisper as your body trembled under his touch, longing for more, aching to possess and to be possessed. 
His thrusts sped up in response, his hips smacking against yours fervently as you clawed at his back like a wounded animal. 
“I’m sorry, baby.” He whined as he took you by the face with both hands, forcing you to look clearly at him. “I’m so sorry.” 
“Keep going.” You whispered frantically- the feeling of being perfectly stuffed paired with your volatile emotional state left you teetering on the edge of collapse. 
“She means nothing to me.” He grunted between thrusts and you bore a wide toothy grin at the capriciously sweet words. Real or not, you knew they had to hurt her- and that brought you a sadistic amount of pleasure. 
“What were you thinking going for her?” You tutted as he pounded into you like it was the last time, creamy arousal glistening in the dimly lit lounge. “I’m so much better than her. She’s so ugly. Isn’t she, Spence?” 
“Y-yes.” He whimpered. “She’s nowhere near as beautiful as you.” 
Satisfied enough with his taunting, you pushed him back with a bitter hand against his chest and climbed onto his lap with increasing desperation. 
“Bet you wish you could ride him like this, don’t you?” You sneered as you stroked his wet cock with a couple squelchy pumps. “But you never will. This dick is all mine.” 
You lowered yourself onto him, adjusting to his size with breathy moans as he threw his head back in deluge. Bouncing on it with more force than usual, you looked back to observe Maeve’s horrified face glowing on the screen. 
“You got that, bitch?” You jeered mockingly as you reached for his phone and flipped the camera to show Spencer’s exasperated face. “My husband, my dick.” 
With your final act of aggression, you hung up the call and threw the phone behind you. You were fairly confident she wouldn’t be inserting herself into your marriage again any time soon. 
“What the hell-” Spencer’s croaky voice rang out in intervals as you continued riding him with stomach-churning speed. “was that?”
“I was reminding you who you’re married to.” You halted for a moment to catch your breath. “You seem to have forgotten.”
His firm, calloused hands snaked their way around your hips as he dug his fingernails into your flesh, bringing you closer to him. 
“I'll never make that mistake again.” He declared solemnly, brushing the pad of his thumb against your cheek. “Do you forgive me, my love?”
Your limbs went numb and you felt paralysed at the thought. How could you ever forgive such an abuse of trust? 
Spencer firmly grabbed you by the jaw before trailing his hand to the nape of your neck. You wanted to wriggle out of his grasp but he guided your head to rest over his shoulder as he settled his touch on the small of your back. 
“I don’t know…” You slumped into him, feeling immobilised as you murmured mindlessly. 
He suddenly grabbed your ass and roughly spread it apart to allow easier access to your core- he thrust up into your weeping pussy with a force that had you huffing out wordless squeaks. He set a ruthless tempo, hammering into you as your gushing arousal dripped down his thighs. 
“If I’m going to let that little stunt you just pulled slide-“ He growled with a renewed ferocity. “then you’re going to suck it up and forgive me too.” 
Whining, you smacked the side of his bicep in protest but the way he was fucking your brains out left you unable to speak. 
“I don’t wanna hear it baby.” He kissed your temple sloppily as he patted your hair, smoothing it down while he massaged your insides. “You’re meant for me and I’m meant for you. We’re perfectly fucked up for each other.”
“Mmph-“ You moaned into his shoulder, drool dribbling down his skin as you bit into it. 
“I’m never letting you go.” He sped up as his force and aggression grew, leaving bruises in the shape of fingertips littered along your hips and ass. 
With one final thrust, you came undone - squeezing his cock so tight in the process that he couldn’t help but fill you up to the brim with his cum. You panted as you tried to catch your breath, creamy wetness pouring out of you as he pulled your sweaty bodies apart. 
“Okay.” You sighed. “I forgive you.” 
Spencer abruptly sat up as the precious words spilled from your swollen lips. “You mean it?” He trembled hopefully, melting expression tugging at your heartstrings. 
“Only if you swear to me it’ll never happen again.” You wagged your finger at him as he leapt onto you unexpectedly.
“Never! Never, baby, I swear.” He planted grateful kisses up and down your body as you indulged in a reluctant smile. “It’s only you. You are the only one for me. Now and for the rest of my life.” 
You could tell by his adoring gaze that he meant every word. Wrapping your arms around him, you settled into a healing embrace. He was allowed to make one mistake, you loved him enough to let it slide. And if resentment ever crept up on you, you could always fondly recall that drunken night with Agent Morgan. Who said married couples weren’t allowed a few secrets?
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cumulo-stratus · 1 month
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reader being flustered at small touches from Spencer? like touch-starved spencer who would be all over reader when alone?
Fantozzi[s.r]
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The BAU decides to have a movie night at Rossi's house, and Spencer you and Spencer find a quiet corner to sit in. You both fall asleep and cuddling ensues..
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WARNINGS- established relationship, pronouns used, mentions of alcohol
Spencer reid x male reader ][ fluff, secret relationship ][ masterlist
a/n- ugh this is so cute, i know it's a little different but i hope you enjoy anon!
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It was a quiet night at Rossi's. The team had gathered for a quiet night together, and Rossi graciously offered up his mansion. 
By 8:30, everyone had arrived and was gathered in the large living room sipping on various drinks from cocktails, to seltzer. You and Spencer arrived together, as you had driven him straight from the office after finishing the never ending paperwork. 
Everyone was spread out on the various leather couches, settees, and chairs. You and Spencer had found a spot next to each other on a large chair. Spencer was sunk into the large saggy chair, and you were perched on the wide armrest, leaning against Spencer's side, a seltzer in your hand. Spencer's hand loosely gripped yours discreetly at your side. 
Spencer got clingy when he was tired, and by clingy I mean touchy. But you guys had not exactly told the team about your relationship yet, so Spencer had to settle for discreetly holding your hand. 
Neither you nor your boyfriend had been paying much attention to the conversations going on around you, until Penelope called you and your boyfriend's name. 
“Brainiac, Pretty Boy, we’re watching a movie for team bonding! What do you wanna watch?” Penelope's voice was giddy as she yelled across the room to the couple. Everyone gave a collective eye roll when she said team bonding, as while you and Spencer weren't paying attention, there had been extensive arguing over watching a movie, and penelope's main argument was that it would serve as “team bonding”. Everyone dismissed it first until hotch nodded and agreed with Penelope- it was settled.
“Derek wants to watch die hard, and although I love my chocolate thunder- no. JJ thinks 10 things i hate about you, and Rossi wants to watch some old italian movie-” Penelope was interrupted in the middle of listing the options by an annoyed Rossi, “its Fantozzi actually, a cinematic masterpiece of the 70’s..” Rossi would've continued, but Penelope waved him off and continued listing. 
“And I think we should watch the princess bride, aka the best option!” Penelope spoke with a giddy glee, but her face fell when Spencer gained a look of confusion and asked what that movie was about. 
“You’ve never seen Princess Bride?? Spencer Walter Reid- I demand we watch it right now.” Spencer was a little taken aback by Penelope's insistence, but obliged, agreeing to watch the movie. 
Not 30 minutes later, the lights were off and Rossi tried to figure his own TV while JJ made popcorn. Eventually Penelope just took the remote out of Rossi's hand, tired of him struggling. 
“I'll take that as my cue to get popcorn” Spencer said as he lifted himself with a heave from the large leather chair. But you grabbed his arm with a pout on your lips at the loss of warmth, “where are you going?”
Spencer chuckled lightly, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze as he comforted you,  “well you want popcorn right?” Spencer's tone was a bit teasing, but loving nonetheless. 
“fiiiine!” You let go of Spencer's hand and sigh dramatically, flopping back into the large leather seat as Spencer turns his back to you, chuckling, to get popcorn. 
A few minutes later, Spencer returned with a big bowl of buttery popcorn and a blanket he'd picked up on the way in his arms, a timid smile on his lips. 
Your face lit up despite the now dark room when your boyfriend entered. “Popcorn!!” You spoke with glee and Spencer smiled at his boyfriend. 
Everyone began to take their places and you and your boyfriend settled in next to each other. There was a blanket over you and Spencer's laps, and the large popcorn bowl sat on top. Spencer leaned into his boyfriend's side, causing you to blush a bit  at the contact, feeling heat creep up your cheeks.
The movie started, and everyone was silent, enjoying the movie. And by the time they had gotten to the fight scene on the cliff, the amount of comments you heard coming from your right had died down. 
When you noticed the lack of facts about fencing, or the architecture, or something, you looked down at your boyfriend, to find him half asleep, his chin resting on his fist. 
His eyes were half closed, and he took long blinks, before perking up again for a second.
“Spence?”
The sound of your voice startled him, causing him to jump a bit and rub his eyes saying, “yeah I'm awake- I'm here-” your boyfriend was very clearly not very awake. 
Less than a minute later, Spencer was falling asleep in his hand again. You just sighed and smiled to yourself knowing he needed the sleep. 
By the time you got to the halfway point in the movie, you felt a weight slump against your shoulder. You didn't have to look to know it was Spencer. 
You could already feel the heat creeping up your cheeks and behind your ears at the contact. Spencer was clinging to you like a koala, which he tended to do in his sleep often. 
Spencer didn't get a ton of physical love as a kid, and not much as a teen and young adult- so meeting you was a bit of a change. But a very welcome change. 
Spencer shifted a bit, and his face was now tucked into your neck, his arms were wrapped tightly around you, and one of his legs slightly overlapping with yours. 
You were a puddle pretty much, but your head was on a swivel, making sure your coworkers were too absorbed in the movie to notice the two guys cuddling in the back. 
But that didn't last long as within minutes your head had dipped down to lay on Spencer's, your eyelids getting heavier by second. 
Finally, the weight became too much and you let your eyes stay closed this time, drifting off peacefully as you snuggled farther into Spencer, forgetting where you were. 
Spencer was woken up by the lights being turned on, blinding him a bit despite his eyes being closed. Still half asleep, Spencer grumbled a bit and shifted around, trying to stuff his face further into your shoulder to block out the light.
But what caused him to lift his head from the warmth and peace of your neck, was the sound of giggling and the click of a photo being taken. When Spencer finally managed to peel his eyes open, he found most of the team staring at him. And then he remembered why they were probably staring. 
there were some mixed reactions, as previously mentioned- penelope was giggling to herself at the photo she had just taken. Both JJ and Emily had unsurprised smiles on their faces. Your boss smiled at your boyfriend and shook his head slightly. Rossi just didn’t care, more interested in his cigar.
Spencer was finally awake enough to register what was going on and blushed, hard. Even the tips of his ears were pink as he tucked a piece of hair behind it like he always did. Spencer looked down, stuttering. 
“I- well, he was tired and he- he didn’t mean to fall asleep on me and-“
Derek cut him off, “so, pretty boy and brainiac huh, took ‘em long enough,” Derek was dismissive, it was no surprise to him. He didn't miss the glances you threw at each other from across the room.
You were blissfully unaware of what the whole team had witnessed as you finally came too, mumbling something about five more minutes to spencer. Spencer couldn't help but have a lovesick smile on his face at your cuteness, the big strong FBI agent with a gun- grumbling about five more minutes in the lanky genius’s arms.
The End
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Taglist- @spencers1wifey | @mvndfvelds | @mindfullycriminal | @luce-reid |@ferrjulie | @khxna | @il0vebeingdelulu
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ssavanessa22 · 1 year
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could u do a blub with female or gen reader x spencer reid where reader planned a surprise for spencer for valentine’s day and he got called out on a case before he could come home a see it? preferably very angsty w whatever ending you’d like!
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A/N: now normally I’m not an angst girl but since you asked so nicely I had to see what I could cook up 😙 I hope I did your prompt Justice!!
Valentines take 2
Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader
Spencer Reid had been looking forward to Valentine's Day for weeks. Y/N had hinted at a surprise that she had planned, and he was eager to see what it was. However, as luck would have it, a case came up at the last minute and he was called to help. Hours had passed, and he was still at the BAU, trying to catch the unsub.
As the day turned into night, Spencer realised that he wasn't going to make it home in time to see Y/N’s surprise. He tried to call her, but she didn't answer, and he knew that he had missed his chance.
When he finally arrived home, he found Y/n sitting in the living room, her arms crossed over her chest.
"Where were you, Spencer?" she asked, her voice tense.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Spencer said, his heart sinking. "I was working on a case and I couldn't leave. I didn't mean to miss your surprise."
"It doesn't matter now, does it?" Y/N said, her voice rising. "You missed it. You missed everything."
Spencer felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He knew he had let Y/N down, and he didn't know how to make it right.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," he said again. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."
"How?" Y/N asked, her eyes narrowing. "You can't just make up for it, Spencer. You missed something that was important to me."
Spencer sighed, feeling the weight of her disappointment. "I know, Y/N," he said. "And I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Let's talk about what we can do to make things right."
They sat down at the kitchen table, their tension palpable. Y/N explained how much effort she had put into the surprise, and how hurt she was when Spencer didn't show up. Spencer apologised again, promising to make it up to her in any way he could.
Talking for hours, trying to work through the hurt and disappointment.Spencer apologised over and over , promising to do better in the future.
But the argument lingered between them, and they went to bed feeling distant and disconnected. Over the next few days, they tried to work through their issues, but it was clear that the argument had left a mark on their relationship.
Spencer knew he had to find a way to show Y/N’s how much he loved her and valued their relationship. He decided to plan a surprise of his own, to make it up to her.
A few days later, he surprised her with a home-cooked dinner, complete with her favourite foods and wine. Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise and delight, and Spencer felt a wave of relief wash over him.
"I'm sorry, Y/N's," he said, his voice soft. "I know I messed up, but I hope you can see how much I care about you. You're the most important thing in my life, and I don't want to lose you."
Y/N’s eyes softened, and she smiled at him. "I know, Spencer," she said. "And I care about you too. Let's move past this and focus on the good things in our relationship."
Spencer nodded, feeling grateful for the chance to make things right. He knew that it would take time to rebuild their trust and connection, but he was willing to do whatever it took to make their relationship work.
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Knight in Shining Armor
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Paring: Female FBI reader x Spencer Reid
Summary: The reader is kidnapped and Spencer is struggling to keep himself together.
Warnings: Mention of drugs and addiction, violence, kidnapping + mention of Spencer's kidnapping, angst from unsub and Spencer, mention of Maeve, sad Spencer, use of Y/N and Y/L/N (your last name)
Word count: 1K
-> MASTER LIST
Not in a million years did Spencer think anything like this would happen. “We're trying our best,” Hotch sighs. “Well obviously not hard enough!” Spencer hardly raised his voice, so when he did, Hotch knew he was serious. “We understand this unsub. We have handled cases like this multiple times. We will find her.” Hotch reminds Spencer. “Forty percent of kidnap victims are released unharmed, but that's only with a ransom. All the women he has kidnapped so far have died. Who’s to say he won’t do the same to Y/N.” he mutters before abruptly leaving the conference room. Spencer goes to the bathroom to clear his mind, and as his shaky hands run through his hair, the terrifying urge resurfaces once again. He craved his fix. Dilaudid . He knew he shouldn't. Either way, he couldn't. He knew he couldn't get his hands on anything. But, oh lord, it was hard to resist. His body felt itchy all over, an everlasting scratch that will never go away, even with the sharpest fingernails to claw at.
Spencer hears a soft knock on the door. “Hey, kid. It’s me, Derek.” Spencer quickly fixes his hair and daps away the tears in his eyes. “What- um. What do you want?” he asks. “I’m just checking up on you. I know what youre going through is tough. It's tough on all of us.” Derek starts. “Y’know, I was terrified when you were taken.” Why did he have to bring that up? The worst part was that he knew how petrifying it is to be kidnapped. Spencer slowly unlocks the door, and Derek lets himself in. “It's gonna be okay, man. You just have to have faith.” He says, and Spencer gives him a slow nod as tears begin to form again. Derek pulls him into a hug, letting him cry on his shoulder like a brother should do. 
"What if it happens again...?" Spencer whispers. "What if... what if she dies? I don't think I can handle another death. Another person leaving me..."
Derek knew how hard Spencer took Maeve's death. All he could do was hold him tight, because he didn't want to make promises he couldn't keep.
As the knife's cold, sharp blade drags along your jaw, bone-aching chills run through your body. "You don't have to do this." You mumble. You hear him laugh and you gag silently as you smell the stench of his rotten mouth. "Oh, but you see, I do," he mutters, tilting your head toward his sickening gaze with the blade's tip. "I'm not sure what they taught you, but you're a terrible actor. The moment I saw you, I knew you were an FBI agent." 
Was it really that obvious? You were trained to see through these unsubs. You have been taught to keep composure during situations like this. You wanted to cry at the prospect of any unsub getting the better of you. You had Spencer in mind. He was going to help you get through it. He was going to save you the same way you saved him. "They'll track you down. I'm certain they will."
Your kidnapper laughs once more. That threatening, taunting laugh. "Like who?" he wonders. "Your little boyfriend, the infamous Dr. Spencer Reid?" When Spencer is mentioned, your stomach drops. “Your boy genius. IQ of 186.” How did he know you referred to him as a 'boy genius'? "Actually, it's 187." Suddenly, his hand grasps your neck, and you gasp. “You- you don’t like being undermined…” you manage out. "You have difficulty speaking to women, especially when they are... more confident than you."
“No! That’s… that's not true!” His grip on your neck tightens, and you gasp for air. "You're dissatisfied with your life. You have a straightforward job that makes you unhappy. That's why you hurt women in order to reclaim your power." You had to figure out a way to buy time even with his hand around your neck constricting your air and death at his fingertips. 
"Admit it," you say quietly. "You're a pitiful... little... man." And, just as if God Himself had answered your prayers, the door bursts open, with S.W.A.T officers filing in and F.B.I agents following. Your captor removes his hands from your neck, accepting defeat as they handcuff him like a frail child caught breaking the rules. “Youre under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of five women, including the kidnapping of Y/N Y/L/N.” Agent Morgan says, along with the Miranda Rights he has memorized over the years of many arrests.
Emily and Spencer release you as soon as the offender is removed from the room. Spencer gives you a tender kiss on the lips. Spencer was constantly teased about your relationship by the BAU. Even now, he was still shy. When he kissed you in public, it was always a quick peck on the lips or a kiss on the forehead, never like this. So you were taken aback when he kissed you so passionately. Your heart beat faster. You knew you were in safe hands with Spencer. “I’m so sorry… I’m so incredibly sorry…” he whispers to you as warm tears stream down his face, his trembling hands running down your arms as he felt you underneath his touch, reminding himself that you are in fact real and alive. He didn't let you out of his embrace until he was fully aware that you were a physical being and not a figment of his imagination.
You had no idea the pain and suffering Spencer went through while you were held captive. It pained your heart to even think that Spencer had to sit in agony like that. 
“I thought you were dead. I mean… I never lost hope. I knew there was still a chance. You know, Schrӧdingers cat, in quantum mechanics-” You interrupt him by placing your fingers on his lips. “Yes, Spencer. I know what Schrӧdingers cat is.” You hum softly, and he can’t help but smile. “Come on, let's get you out of here. Medics are waiting outside,” he said as he helped you up and out. “I’m fine, Spence, really. I don’t need any medical help.” you protest, but he quickly pushes that away. “Youre getting checked out. That's non-negotiable.”
As you walked out of the room you were kept in, you expected to hear soft snickering from Derek, a cocked eyebrow from Emily, or an impressed look from J.J., but nothing. All that mattered was you and Spencer. He was the one who would remove your Crown of Thorns at the end of the day. Your knight in shining armor who was there to save your every trip and fall. 
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babymetaldoll · 1 year
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Baby, I'm yours - Chapter three: "To die by your side"
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Summary: The team is doing its best to find Emily. Spencer is struggling with the fear of losing his friend and the thought of not being enough to keep his girlfriend safe.
Word count: 11,5K
Warnings: Lots of angst, Criminal Mind classic and painful canon, smut, mention of drug addiction and drug use.
'A/N: Hey guys!! Thank you for reading! And sorry for the angst! Tumblr didn't show last week's chapter in the tags 😔 I don't know why. Remember feedback is more than welcome if you are enjoying this story: Like, reblog and comment if you can.
Next update: February 1st
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(Y/N)’s point of view
I was having an awful flashback. I was again outside Tobias Hankel’s house and Morgan was telling me Spencer was nowhere to be seen. It was the same feeling of fear and panic that didn’t let me think straight all those years ago, and that ended up making me yell at JJ.
The fear of losing someone you love can be the fuel you need to bring them back or a paralyzing energy that restrains each and every one of your thoughts and movements. At that minute, it was the second.
I walked to Penelope’s office to tell her we were ready to take off to Boston and didn’t even knock on the door. She was talking on the phone with someone, and soon I realized she was leaving voicemails in every phone number that had ever belonged to Prentiss.
- “Hey, it's me. Hotch asked me to try all your numbers, and I have this as an old listing, and you probably don't even use it anymore, but if it is you and you're out there, come home, please. God, Emily, what did you think, that we would just let you walk out of our lives? I am so furious at you right now! Then I think about how scared you must be, how you're in some dark place all alone. But you're not alone, ok? You are not alone. We are in that dark place with you. We are waving flashlights and calling your name. So if you can see us, come home. If you can't, then..”- I rested my head on her shoulder as I heard her sobbing- “Then you stay alive. 'Cause, we're coming!”
- “We love you, Emily! We are your family”- I added and broke into tears as well. Garcia hugged me and we cried for a few minutes. I needed to let it all out before I put on my BAU profiler mask and hid every feeling I had.
- “We are gonna bring her home, and we are gonna get so wasted!”- I whispered and chuckled between sobs
- “Oh, we are gonna get so drunk after this!”- Garcia agreed and wiped off her tears- “Let’s save our friend, munchkin.”
We were on a plane to Boston. Emily had been captured by Doyle, Garcia had shown us the footage and for a second, we all thought the worst. Also, the police had detained Clyde Easter in that city and we needed to talk to him as soon as possible. He had to give us some more info about Doyle and his relationship with Prentiss. Anything that could help us find them.
- “Emily walked into a trap. It looks like Doyle got into the SUV, but from this angle, you can see that he didn't. Which I wished Boston PD would have told me before I started watching it. Sorry again for the screaming.”
Penelope showed us again the footage of the incident, and we analyzed it frame by frame.
- “She threw a flash-bang grenade into a car. She's lucky the 3 people inside didn't die. Is anybody else bothered by that?”- Morgan was clearly upset, he had been angry for the last 10 hours, after Prentiss’ disappearance. I had been upset when we discovered she had slept with Doyle, but at that point, I just wanted to bring my friend safe. I didn’t care what she had done.
- “Well, three bad guys.”- Rossi gave him a sarcastic remark and shook his head.
- “Illegal as it is, I think Prentiss knows she has to be as ruthless as Doyle.”- Hotch pointed out and I nodded in support as I sipped my tea.
- “He's come to the US to wage a public vendetta and hired a group of mercenaries to remain loyal to him. He has nothing to lose, so she has to act the same way.”- Reid added with a voice that showed how deeply concerned he was. I wanted to hold his hands the entire time to show him I was there with him, but I knew I couldn’t at the time.
- “So how did Doyle know she was waiting for him?”- Rossi asked and JJ answered.
- “ Well, the mole must have told him, right? The same guy who's been feeding Doyle the contractors and agents?”
- “And our best suspect was just arrested with a suitcase full of cash. How do we get Easter to talk? He won't cooperate willingly.”- Seaver questioned and I knew Hoth was going to handle the asshole himself.
- “I'll handle that. The rest of you focus on Doyle's location.”
- “I hate to be the one to ask this, but how long does Emily have?”- Garcia’s question was in fact the same we all shared, but no one had spoken about it in fear of the truth. Hotch’s voice was soft and kind as he explained the situation in the most positive way possible.
- “Her best chance is also the most troubling. Doyle saved her for last because he views her as his stressor. Which means he'll take his time.”
We all looked down and stayed in silence for most of what was left of the trip.
The Boston police station felt like a prison. I wanted to get out of there and find Emily. I knew walking around with no clue and no idea of what was happening would be useless, but waiting felt like torture. I just hoped Em wasn’t going through torture herself.
- “Get your hands off me! Do you know who I am? I'm the man!”- Hotch and I turned to see the man walking in cuffs to the station.
- “Who's that?”- I asked Rossi, who joined us with more info
- “Jack Fahey, Irish mob. He called Easter's cell phone 12 times in 6 hours.”
- “Any connection to Doyle?”- Hotch looked at Rossi as he waited for an affirmative answer.
- “Boston PD says he's low-level. But the Irish mob has long-standing ties to the IRA”- Rossi explained.
- “You two and Reid, see if you can get anything out of him.”- Hotch said and the three of us nodded before we started walking away.
I had questioned witnesses and suspects many times with Reid before. But never as a couple. I had wondered how that would be, but under those circumstances, I didn’t have much patience to play any kind of game.
- “Why were you calling Clyde Easter so much, Jack?”- Rossi asked right away, as we stood in front of Fahey, but he decided to ignore him.
- “Anybody got a smoke? How about you sweetheart?”- I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms on my chest, not saying a word back to him- “How about you, beanpole?”
- “What do you think?”- I asked my boyfriend as he made eye contact with Fahey and whispered his answer, making sure the suspect could hear us.
- “Narcissism masking deep-seated insecurity.”- Rossi and I nodded at his description.
- “So if we puncture his self-image, this hood rat will talk.”- David added, just to toy with him.
- “Hey, hey, hey, I ain't no hood rat. You take that back.”- Fahey freaked out immediately, as predicted.
- “Well, you look like one. You smell like one. You smell that?”- Rossi walked to Fahey as he spoke, and Spencer and I sniffed and answered at the same time.
- “Hood rat.”
- “I am not! Take it back!”- Fahey looked funny when he was mad, I give him that.
- “Hey, Jack. Do you know what a hood rat is?”- I walked over and stared at the suspect right in the eyes. He couldn't even answer my question, so I looked at Spencer and shook my head- “You see what I mean? He's just gonna have to learn the hard way.”
- “All right, all right, look, Clyde was gonna pay my medical bills, all right? This ear, it ain't growing back.”
- “What happened to it?”- Reid crossed his arms on his chest and looked at him with a severe glance.
- “This bitch teammate of his shot it. Said it was a warning. Thought she could take on this IRA big shit named Doyle. So I told these...!”- but the poor bastard couldn’t keep talking ‘cos Rosi kinda lost it. He squeezed his shot ear, making him cry and twist in pain on his chair. Blood came from the wound through the patch and soaked Rossi’s hand.
- “What the hell, man?! Jeez!”
- “Where's Prentiss?”- I shouted and hit the table, trying to get his attention.
- “Who? I don't know!”
- “Lauren Reynolds. Where is Lauren Reynolds?”- Spencer asked with the same urgency and somehow Fahey chuckled through the pain.
- “Oh. Friend of yours, is she?”- suddenly I realized we had lost our upper hand with him. And all just because of our feelings for Prentiss.
- “You tell us where she is right now, or I swear, I'll send you to a prison where they'll teach you what a hood rat is.”- Rossi threatened him, but it was too late, the bastard just chuckled.
- “And by the time you do, she'll be in pieces. So, uh... my price just went up.”
If he hadn’t been our only lead, I would have killed him right there and no one would have missed him. But we needed whichever piece of information the bastard could give us.
- “200,000?”- Seaver asked underneath, pretty shocked as we all stood at a side of the station. Fahey was sitting a few feet from us, waiting for our resolution.
- “What other leverage do we have?”- Hotch asked.
- “I just wanna beat the shit out of him until he speaks”- I confessed and sighed- “But I know it won’t take us very far, and there is not enough time.”
- “Is he an addict?”- Seaver asked, taking a second look at him.
- “He's having a nicotine fit. We wouldn't let him smoke.”- I explained and even cut her an evil grin.
- “We could use that. He’d relax, open his big mouth.”- Seaver suggested, and surprisingly it wasn’t a bad idea.
- “Is that enough?”- Hotch questioned and she cut him her sweetest smile.
- “Well, I'm pretty good with narcissists.”
- “Please don’t tell me, your dad was a serial killer and you know everything about narcissists”- the words slipped my lips, I couldn’t help it and I knew Hotch was gonna make me pay for it.
- “Well, I also dated a few.”- she answered and I sighed. We were going to go through Seaver’s plan. God help me.
For security reasons, we took Fahey to the rooftop. Hotch thought having two girls would help him feel more relaxed and so it was just me and Seaver with him. Well, if you ignore all the officials waiting for us at the door, including Spencer who insisted on keeping a close eye on what was happening.
- “You know when a cigarette is best? After sex with me.”- that bastard joked as he took a long drag of his cigarette, winking at Ashley.
- “Mind your manners, asshole.”- I commanded and kept my serious look on him. Clearly, I was the bad cop in that situation- “You're already extorting us for Prentiss’ location.”
- “So, just out of curiosity, what's it like working for Doyle?”- Seaver asked with a sweet tone of voice.
- “Eh, he's not so tough.”
- “Wow. I bet you're his hookup, aren't you? I mean, after all, you're the man.”
- “I could show you how much of a man I really am.”- I clenched my knuckles and took a step closer to Fahey, ready to smack those dirty answers out of him. But he raised his arms and took a step back.
- “All right, all right, all right, jeez. What's with the sexy good /sexy bad cop routine? What do you two think…”- a shot came from a window nearby, all of a sudden.
- “Down!”- I quickly wrapped my arms around Seaver and the two of us kneeled down as we heard a second gunshot and our only lead dropped dead right in front of us. Seaver started shaking, Fahey’s blood damping her white sweater. I kept my arms around her for a few more seconds, trying to comfort her as the police force surrounded us, working to find the killer.
- “Are you ok?”- I whispered and she just nodded.
- “(Y/N)!! (Y/N)!!”- Spencer showed up running and cupped my face in his hands- “Are you ok? are you hurt?”- I just shook my head and looked into his teary eyes, feeling like the most loved human on earth.
- “I’m ok, it’s ok honey. They got Fahey, we are ok. Right, Ashley?”- I rubbed my hand on her back and she nodded.
- “Yeah, but now we are back to square one”- she whispered, still shaky.
- “Come on”- Spencer helped us stand up and quickly walked us in.- “It’s not safe out here.”
After Spencer made sure I was safe, his fear of losing me (or any other member of the team under those circumstances) hitting hard for a moment, I grabbed a clean shirt from my go bag and walked to find Seaver. The poor kid was trying to wipe off the blood from her sweater with a napkin. It was sad. I knew without Prentiss, she didn’t have anyone close inside the team but Rossi. And I also knew it wouldn’t kill me to be nice to her for once.
- “That's not going to come out.”- I announced as I walked toward her.
- “Yeah, I know.”- I gave her my shirt and she looked at it in shock for a moment. Yeah, apparently it was that hard to believe that I could be nice and human with her- “Thanks.”
- “It’s ok. Actually, I needed to talk to you”
- “About…”- I don’t know what she wanted to say ‘cos I started talking before she could finish her idea.
- “Ashley, we have a problem. Without Fahey, there's not much left. We all want to save Prentiss so badly that we can't see this case straight.”
- “Ok. What do we do?”
- “Something that terrifies me: we depend on the team member with the freshest eyes.”- Seaver looked at me in shock and shook her head, honestly scared to carry such a burden on herself.
- “Oh, no. Not me, no.”
- “Believe me, this hurts me too. But the truth is you haven't worked with Prentiss for five years. You're unprejudiced.”- I sat next to her and maintained eye contact the entire time. I didn’t mean to make her nervous, I just needed her to focus.
- “Now, what's been bugging you since we left Quantico? How about the affair? That bugs me, you saw me, I yelled when I found out what had happened. Now tell me, how does the two of them sleeping together change Doyle's profile?”
- “I don't know.”- she mumbled, frustrated
- “Come on, Ashley. It's textbook!!”- I raised my voice ‘cos though I was trying to be nice at her, I was also aware we were running out of time to find Prentiss safe.
- “I haven't read every textbook! You always complain about that!!”- Ashley yelled back at me, so I moved closer to her and ket pushing her.
- “You want me to hold your hand? Fine! See? I'm holding your hand and giving you all my moral support. Now tell me, honestly: What doesn't fit? Just say it! What are you thinking? Spit it out!”
- “Why families?!”- she finally shouted and I nodded, excited pushing her had actually worked.
- “Keep going.”
- “Prentiss is Doyle's stressor. He wants revenge on the woman who betrayed him, and I understand that. But why kill that child in D. C.?”
- “Finally! You just gave me a reason to love the fact you are on the team.”- I hugged her and she widened her eyes- “Now throw away that awful sweater, put on the clean shirt and never wear white to work again, got it?”
Spencer’s point of view
There were too many stressors. Way too many for me to handle properly under that amount of stress. First, Prentiss runs away from us, hiding information from the team. Then, knowing how far she had gone with Doyle, faking a relationship with him and even sleeping with him. I’m not a prude, but even I know that can mess things up in the field. Now how did that change Doyle’s profile and how was he going to act with Emily? We had nothing.
And the fact a sniper had shot Fahey on the police station’s roof and might have killed (Y/N) instead was eating me alive. Of course, I always knew there was a risk in doing what we do for a living. And yes (Y/N) had been shot before (by far, the worst day of my life). But that day, on that rooftop, it affected me on a completely different level. I wanted to protect her no matter what, and I hated feeling I couldn’t do it properly.
I don’t think it had actually hit me until that day, but I wanted to marry her. I wanted to have babies with her. And soon. We had waited so long to confess our feelings I didn’t want to wait another five years to commit. I knew we had been dating for less than a month, but I knew she was my forever. I knew it since the first time I saw her.
But at that minute our job was to bring Prentiss home. Then I could take care of the rest.
Hotch got Prentiss' ex’s unit chief, Clyde Eater, to collaborate with us and the entire team got together to finally make some progress.
- “Ian Doyle's a power-assertive psychopath, highly controlling and very explosive when something doesn't go as planned.”- Clyde explained. We knew he was a psychopath and a serial killer. But his M.O and all the intel the CIA had on him were extremely useful to profile the bastard. And most important: to know what he was doing with Prentiss.
- “Ok, so how does this fit in with who he is as a family annihilator?”- Seaver asked and (Y/N) added
- “And Prentiss’ role in it.”
- “Annihilators have a romanticized view of who their family is.”- I looked at Clyde, but he shook his head at my words.
- “Well, actually, he was an orphan.”
- “Well, they think of family as their possession, until some law shatters that and starts them killing”- Morgan added.
- “But Doyle was never married.”- Clyde kept dismissing all of our contributions to the profile.
- “Children?”- Rossi asked, but we all guessed it was negative.
- “No.”
- “You run your profile that he carried out his murder with surgical-like precision.”- I continued talking as (Y/N) grabbed the picture of the kid Doyle shot from my hands, trying to find anything on that image that we could use as a clue.
- “Yes.”
- “With no collateral damage.”- Morgan added.
- “That's right.”
- “Perhaps this child was a surrogate for one he had.”- (Y/N) suggested
- “Say Doyle had a child and you didn't know about it. Is it possible that Prentiss did?”- Rossi asked the million-dollar question, and Clayde shook his head.
- “Then why would she keep it from me?”
- “Who else was in the compound the day that you arrested Doyle?”- Hotch asked and looked at the list of names.
- “Just his staff.”
- “All Irish?”- Hotch raised an eyebrow going through the names again, and Clayde nodded.
- “Yeah.”
- “That's a start.”
Thirty two minutes later we had an address and we got ready to rescue our friend. We knew Prentiss discovered Ian Doyle had in fact a son hidden, who had been raised by one of his maids as her own, to keep him from any danger. When the CIA got Doyle, the maid and the boy made it to America, and a year after Doyle’s imprisonment, Prentiss faked their deaths and relocated them, saving their lives from him. We didn’t know how or where. We just knew she made sure she did everything she could to save that kid’s life. Because that is how amazing Prentiss is.
We were on a rescue mission for Emily. The entire team, plus the special forces, got to an empty warehouse. We all walked in, and the first thing I did was to keep (Y/N) close. I couldn't focus on anything if I didn’t know she was close enough for me to save her. Morgan’s words kept spinning in my head: Our only advantage in that mission was stealth. Once Doyle knew we were on site, nothing would stop him from killing Prentiss. Or anyone on his way.
Derek was leading the mission, and after a few minutes of the most nerve-wracking silence, he announced he had Emily.
- “I got her!!”- his voice nearly pierced my ear as he shot into the earpiece- “I got her in the basement on
Southside! I need a medic!”
I stopped in my tracks and grabbed (Y/N)’s arm, who had just started running towards Morgan.
- “We don’t know where Doyle is! Stop! (Y/N)!”- I looked into her teary eyes and felt her struggling to let go.
- “But she is right there, Spencer! She needs us!!”- she begged as we heard Derek’s voice in our earpiece again.
- “Prentiss. Hey, it's me, I'm right here. You're gonna be alright. Stay with me, baby. Come on, stay with me.”- the officials cleared the room as we all continued to move, being extra careful in case Doyle was still in the area. I surely doubted it. He just wanted to hurt Emily and he couldn’t do it with all of us there and all his men down.
- “Clear!”- we heard that word, and (Y/N) ran from my side until she got to Prentiss and Derek the minute the ambulance reached the perimeter. I caught her and held her as we watched the paramedics checking her vitals and quickly moving her into the ambulance and to the nearest hospital.
Honestly, it all happened too quickly and I almost didn’t register it all. The way Prentiss looked when we reached her side, pale, almost dead. How Morgan kept holding her hand and refused to move from her side, getting into the ambulance with her, even against the paramedic’s will. The way (Y/N)’s tears soaked my shirt when I wrapped my arms around her, and how her hands grabbed my arms and nearly hung from me, not letting go until Hotch said we had to go to the hospital.
Everything will be engraved in my memory forever. And I wish I could just forget it all. It was all too much. And it just kept getting worse.
We waited over five hours in that visitor lounge, in the hospital. (Y/N) sat next to me, shaking most of the time, though I gave her my jacket, and wrapped my arm around her to keep her warm, and Rossi kept getting us coffee and snacks from the closest vending machine.
- “She is gonna be ok, right?”- Penelope whispered and waited for our answer. Derek just wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple. (Y/N) looked at me for a moment, with pleading eyes. She wanted to hear it too, she needed to hear Prentiss was gonna be ok. I cut her a short smile, though my eyes were filled with tears, and snuggled closer to her.
- “Of course, she is gonna be ok”- I whispered to her and she just nodded, resting her head on my shoulder.
I think that’s the first time I knew I was lying to my girlfriend. But I was too scared to tell her I didn’t know. That I just wasn’t sure what was gonna happen. I wanted to be her rock, the man she needed. But I was so scared. Petrified at the thought of losing my friend. Of failing to the team.
We all raised our eyes when we heard footsteps coming over, and JJ walked slowly over us. Her eyes were red and she couldn’t even speak. We all turned to her and waited if she had any update on Prentiss’ condition. But her tears stopped our hearts. (Y/N) held my hand and squeezed it tight. I just opened my mouth, not knowing what to say. It couldn’t be right. There was no way that was actually happening.
- “She never made it off the table”- JJ confirmed and for a moment, time stopped. I refuse to believe what she had said was true. My friend couldn’t be dead. My last conversation with her couldn’t be that random exchange of words. Emily Prentiss couldn’t be dead.
I looked around and watched how all of our friends were breaking apart. Rossi was sobbing, Garcia was in shock. I stood up and tried to run away, though I didn’t really know where I was planning to go. But (Y/N) grabbed my hand and stopped me. I turned to look at her and saw the tears falling down her cheeks as she bit her lips, trying her best to contain her emotions. I knew she hated crying in public, and I also knew she couldn’t really control it at the moment.
- “Hon…”- she whispered and grabbed both my arms, maybe scared I would actually run away from her. But instead of fighting her touch, I melted into it, wrapping my arms around her body and sobbing against the soft skin of her neck.
- “I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye”- I mumbled and felt her arms trying to hold me together. I let my tears run as she hugged me and caressed my back. She was crying too, as well as everybody around us. That couldn’t be happening. Emily couldn’t be dead. That couldn't just be it. We were the good guys, and the good guys always win. We couldn’t lose her, we couldn’t lose Emily.
But we did.
(Y/N) and I held each other the entire flight back home. I don’t really know if we were trying to console one another, or just trying to stay together to keep each other sane. I didn’t follow any of the PDA rules Hotch and Strauss had been nagging us about. I held (Y/N) in my arms the entire trip. I sat her on my lap and wrapped a blanket around her, ‘cos she kept shaking.
No one said a word the entire trip. The only sound around us were grieves and sobs. There was a deep feeling of loss. Not only we had lost Emily, but we all felt lost. It seemed unreal.
(Y/N)’s hands were clinging to my sweater, and every time I moved on the seat, she tightened her grip on me. I kissed her forehead as I snuggled her closer.
- “I’m not going anywhere”- I whispered and slowly leaned it to kiss her hands. She sighed and looked into my eyes with tears.
- “I’m so scared, Spencer.”- she called me by my name as one of her hands let go of my sweater and moved to my cheeks, caressing me- “I don’t wanna lose you too.”
- “You won’t, I swear. I am not going to leave you, and nothing bad will happen to me.”
But the truth is, I was petrified too. And I held her even tighter until we got home, ‘cos I was also scared to lose her. We did everything we could to keep Prentiss safe, but we failed. The same way we failed to protect Elle, and Garcia. We failed to protect Hailey and Jack. We were a failure, the entire BAU. And it scared me to death to think something bad could ever happen to my girl.
We got home that night and just sat on her couch. We talked about having a cup of tea, but neither of us moved. We just sat there, crying and holding each other until the sun came out.
I smelled her shampoo all over me as (Y/N) let her hair loose and for once, it didn’t make me feel better, protected or loved. If anything, it made me more anxious. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how it would feel losing her. And the fear kept crawling down my skin like a disease that spread all over my body.
And there was only one thing I knew had helped me get rid of that fear and pain: Dilaudid.
(Y/N)’s point of view
I stood outside the car and took a deep breath. We were at the cemetery, ready to give Emily her final resting place. It wasn’t right. The last few days had been the closest I had ever been to hell. We had to present our reports on what had happened the day Emily died. Then Hotch gave us the day off to rest and process what had happened. And now we were at a cemetery. No, it made no sense.
I had cried my eyes out in the last 48 hours. Life had changed completely and I felt lost. I refused to admit the fact my friend was gone. That had to be a joke, a very bad one. But I knew we couldn't function as a team without Emily. She was our rock. She was the one who always managed to keep her cool, even during the worst times. She was the one I turned to for advice since she joined the team, ‘cos we both had a rough start with Gideon, and Hotch wasn’t a big fan of women’s work when we first started.
- “Ready?”- Spencer held my hand and took me from my thoughts. I shook my hand and bit my lips, making my best not to cry anymore. I’ve always hated crying in public. He kissed my hand, and his lips lingered on my skin for a second before we started walking to meet the rest of the team.
Penelope was already there, with Morgan. I rested my head on her shoulder not saying a word, as I felt her caressing my hair. We just stood there in silence until Hotch and Rossi walked over. Aaron hugged us all, as I kept fighting the tears back.
- “It’s time.”- that was all he said, and we just nodded.
Spencer kissed my cheek one more time before walking with Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch to hold Prentiss’s coffin and carry it to her grave. Penelope held my hand as we walked behind them, along with JJ and Seaver, carrying some of Prentiss’ favorite flowers. Everybody was there, but I didn’t register much. A priest talked about loss and how we shall overcome it. But it was all a blur. I just remember standing in front of the coffin, fighting the tears, holding Spencer’s hand tight.
JJ walked and left her flowers on the coffin, and Penelope followed slowly. Then Seaver, Rossi, and Morgan. Spencer looked at me and I did my best to walk. But I swear, I felt my knees were going to betray me any minute. My boyfriend held my arm tight and helped me make my way to say my last goodbye. I still don’t know how he had the strength to do it if I knew he was hurting too. But at that minute I knew I was more thankful to have him than ever. I never wanted to lose him.
- “Come on kid, let’s go to my house for a drink”- Rossi whispered after the ceremony was over.
- “No, thank you. I wanna be alone”- I whispered, knowing he wasn’t going to let me go, but still trying to see if he could get I didn’t want to deal with people.
- “Kid, this hit the entire family and it’s time for the family to be together. Come. Both of you can not lock yourself to grieve all alone.”- Rossi was right, I just didn’t know how to deal with everything that was happening with all those people around me.
- “Do you wanna go?”- I asked Spencer, who kept holding my hand, his eyes glued to the ground.
- “It’s gonna be good for all of us”- Rossi added and Reid nodded. I sighed and gave up. I knew it was gonna be worse not attending, and maybe Dave was right and some time with family would be good for all of us.
Of course, spending time with family, under those circumstances, was painfully hard, because though all we wanted was to support each other, all our emotions were on the surface, and I don’t think we knew what to do with them.
We drove in convoy to Rossi’s and when we got there we realized he had prepared a little get-together. He had some food, some wine and a table in his backyard ready for us. Spencer poured a glass of wine for me, grabbed a juice for himself, and stood by my side as the rest of the team gathered around for a toast. I didn’t feel like toasting for Emily. Not that I didn’t want to honor her, but I wanted to do it on my own. I didn’t feel ready to share my feelings with my friends just yet.
- “To Emily”- Rossi raised his glass and his voice broke immediately- “A tuff rock, the smartest woman and one of the best friends we’ve had.”- we all raised our glasses and drank a sip.
- “Emily is my… was my best friend”- Garcia started, but tears stopped her speech. Morgan wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead, in support. We weren’t ready for this. The wound was open and bleeding. This was basically just twisting the knife inside the wound.
- “I remember when she first joined the team ‘cos Stauss pushed me to accept her. Erin thought she could use Em to control me and get some info about our work. And instead, she gave us an invaluable team member, and a friend that will live in our hearts forever.”- Hotch’s words started with a light chuckle and ended with tears. I knew he wanted us to remember the good things, but we couldn’t just forget that she was dead, and we would never see her again.
- “I just can’t believe she is gone”- Spencer whispered and I wrapped an arm around him immediately- “I mean, if we can’t protect each other, what can we do? how can we do our work?”
No one could give an answer to that. I know I didn’t have comfort words for Spencer ‘cos I felt broken inside as well. I hugged him tight and felt how he soaked my neck with tears, as he made an effort to cry quietly.
- “I just wish she would have trusted us from the beginning.”- Derek took a sip of his wine and stared at us, fighting the tears- “I mean, we could have helped her! we could have caught Doyle and killed that son of a bitch!”
- “Derek”- Hotch tried to calm him down, but we all had to express our feelings somehow, I guess.
- “Why did she do this alone?! I told her we were there for her! I knew she was hiding something from us! And now she is gone!”
Morgan was angry, and I got it. I had noticed Emily was acting strange but didn’t do anything either. I was too busy being happy with Reid. And in a way, I blamed myself as well.
- “Emily locked us out of her life. She decided she was better on her own.”- JJ argued and Will held her hand, ‘cos it felt as if her words came out harder than she had initially intended.
- “We are all fucking profilers! We all knew there was something going on and we just decided to overlook it!”- I argued and let Spencer go ‘cos I needed a refill of my wine already.
- “Kid, we all feel guilty. Trust me, I hate myself right now and I know there are a lot of things that we could have done to help her. But we didn’t, and it’s done. Regret won’t take us anywhere but feeling even more miserable!”- Rossi raised his voice but didn’t try to lecture me. He followed me to the bar and wrapped an arm around me, pouring me a second glass of wine.
- “But we have each other, ragazza. And we are gonna overcome this together. Trust me.”
My BAU family is so different from my real one. I could get away from my blood relatives, I had a million excuses I had certified were adequate to stay away from them. But I could never get away from my BAU’s kin. They were harder to keep away.
Spencer excused himself and walked to the bathroom for a moment. I looked at him and realized he had been trying to be strong for me, and be my rock. But of course, I knew he needed to process the whole situation his own way. I knew he wasn’t afraid to cry in front of me or anything like it. But he would never want to feel like he was a burden for me. And he would want to process his sorrow alone.
I just hoped this whole thing wouldn’t affect our new relationship. All I actually wanted was to curl into bed with him, hug him and get some rest. It felt like the weight of the world was on our shoulders and there was no escape from it.
- “I didn’t get to know Emily very well”- Seaver started talking and for once, I didn’t really care. I was so sad I didn’t even want to argue with her- “But she was the first to open her arms and give me a chance. Teach me some of the things she knew and just… help me be a better profiler.”
- “My baby was like that”- Garcia whispered, trying her best to stop sobbing- “She would always go an extra mile for someone she knew deserved it.”
- “She also had the better comebacks. I learned so many curse words from her”- I sipped my wine after my words and heard Rossi chuckle.
- “You can’t say she was a bad influence. You two together were an accident waiting to happen.”
- “Remember when she picked up that guy at the bar?”- Garcia looked at me and JJ, and we both knew exactly what she was talking about.
- “What guy?”- Spencer walked over and stood by my side. I turned to him and cut him a shy smile, holding his hands. His fingers were cold and I felt like kissing them, but it felt weird doing that in front of the team.
- “A random asshole that flirted with her at a bar one time when she first joined the team. We had one of our first ladies' nights and she walked to our table with a guy that told her was an FBI agent”- I explained and Garcia shook her head.
- “No, but he was a loser, he was so pathetic. He kept saying everything we asked was “classified.”
- “Worst was when she said “affirmative” instead of yes!”- JJ added and I chuckled.
- “Oh my god! I had totally forgotten about that!”
- “The best part was when she asked him to see his batch and he argued he couldn’t show it ‘cos it was classified”- Garcia smiled at the memory and Rossi looked at us with wide-opened eyes.
- “And what did you guys do?”
- “We asked him if it looked anything like ours, and he turned around and left completely humiliated”- I finished the story with a big grin on my face, thinking that was the kind of thing that happened when Emily was in charge of getting the next round of drinks.
- “I remember when I hit her with my rocket on the head”- Spencer said and smiled as he remembered what happened that day- “And she didn’t even get mad at me, she just asked me to show her how I had done it”
- “And you didn’t, ‘cos a magician never reveals his secrets.”- I turned to my boyfriend and smiled. I remembered that day so well. He looked so cute and concentrated on preparing his tricks.
- “Remember when we asked her to flirt with that lousy guy to get a better profile?”- Morgan added with an evil grin.
- “¡Viper!”- I nearly jumped when I said his name- “The level of bullying I gave her for doing that…”
- “You flirted with him too!”- Morgan argued, and Spencer frowned, totally confused.
- “I did not, I was just mean to him as Emily worked her magic on the poor bastard. You on the other hand”- I turned and looked at Reid, who opened his eyes innocently, giving me his baby look.
- “What did I do, chipmunk?”
- “Morgan taught you how to flirt and you got that waitress’ phone number.”- Morgan laughed at the memory, and Spencer looked at me with his Bambi's eyes not knowing what to say- “And she sent you that stupid card you gave her”
- “Em said your anger was epic that night, so epic indeed, that you drank half a bottle of tequila and rambled for two hours about how much you hated Spencer flirting with other girls and how he never flirted with you.”
I opened my mouth to argue Garcia’s words, but I couldn’t. Instead I smiled, and a lot, ‘cos it was a beautiful memory with my friend. A friend I knew I was never going to see again.
Spencer’s point of view
That night I had to drive (Y/N) back to her place ‘cos she had way too much wine. It wasn’t a crappy evening after all, all things considered. We had a nice time remembering all the fun things we did with Emily, all the jokes, all the laughs. All the nights out. I know I have an eidetic memory, but there was no way on earth I could ever forget a second of all the moments I shared with Prentiss.
I put (Y/N) to bed and then sat on the couch, staring at the wall. I thought about reading for a while, hoping to get sleepy soon, but honestly, I couldn’t focus.
I wrapped my arms around my body and laid on the couch. I felt empty and useless. Sadness was just part of it all. Fear was consuming me. The agony of losing someone and the angst of the imminent loss of the person I loved the most.
The team had been blind to all the signs Emily needed help. I never saw or even thought any of this could ever happen. What could I do if anything like this ever happened to (Y/N)? I was powerless. I needed to find a way to keep her safe and happy. ‘Cos that’s what she deserved. Happiness, nothing less than that.
There was a hole in the middle of my chest and that void was eating all my thoughts, all my knowledge. All my sanity. I grabbed one of (Y/N)’s pillows and covered my face with it as I started crying. I didn’t want to make a noise, she had to rest and get some sleep. Besides, I didn’t want to look weak in front of her. I wanted to be a rock for my woman, a shoulder for her to cry on. I wanted to help her and be there for her. If she saw me crying, she would get worried, and she had enough on her plate. Our friend died, it wasn’t wise to add a weak boyfriend to that mix.
The next day was a blur. Hotch gave us a week off to gather our thoughts and process what had happened. (Y/N) said there weren’t enough days to deal with what had happened, and I completely agreed. The first day we spent it in our pajamas, basically doing nothing but hunting her apartment like a couple of ghosts. I did my best to stay strong and hold (Y/N) every time she broke into tears. But after two days, I needed something to help me cope with my feelings. Or more likely, to avoid them.
Yes, having my girlfriend there for me was incredible. For the first time ever, I didn’t feel alone under such bitter circumstances. She made me feel safe and secure when she held me close at night. But I didn’t want her to think I was a burden in any way. I just wanted to make her happy. Besides, my head was driving me mad. I needed something that could make me stop thinking and feeling for a moment. Just once. One time was all I needed.
- “Do you have to go?”- (Y/N) whispered and hugged me as I stood by her bed, folding my clothes and putting them into my go bag. I really didn’t want to be apart from her, but I needed to cave in. I was trying to be strong, but one last Dilaudil shot could help under those circumstances, right? I couldn’t shake that thought off my head.
- “I will come back tomorrow, chipmunk. I just need to go to my house, grab some clean clothes, a few books, and pay the bills.”- I felt like crap knowing I was lying to her. I was really just going to get Dilaudid and get high.
- “I’m gonna miss you, Batsy”- (Y/N) mumbled against my sweater, as she kept her arms around me, and her face hidden against my back.
- “I’m gonna miss you too. But hey, we have to go to see my mom in a few days, so maybe we can use these hours apart to prepare our bags?”- I turned around and caressed her arms, trying to be positive and cheerful for once.
- “Ok…”- her reply was short and muffled against my chest.
- “If you don’t wanna go to visit my mom…”- but before I could tell her it was ok to postpone the trip, she looked at me and shook her head frantically.
- “No hon, I wanna visit your mom. We have rescheduled this visit for too long, and I wanna see her. I know she is gonna be happy to be with you, and I am also sure you need to hug her right now.”- I smiled and sighed, resting my nose on her head and letting her smell invade every inch of my body. God, I didn’t want to leave that night, ‘cos I knew I was giving up. But I needed to do something to avoid the pain.
- “I don’t deserve you”- I whispered and she shook her head slowly.
- “Never say that again, honey bunny. I love you because you are the best man on earth. I am proud of everything you do. I am lucky you are mine and I’ll always do whatever it takes to make you happy.”
Those words froze me. There I was, packing to go back to my apartment, call my dealer and get high after years of being sober. I was ready to ditch happiness over weakness without actually giving a fight.
Wanna know the worst part? None of that stopped me. I hugged her one last time and walked to the door, promising I would be back the following day. I kissed her and felt her lips lingering on mine for a little longer. Her arms wrapped around my neck, her fingers playing with my hair. I sighed and smiled, pecking her lips one more time as I stared into her eyes in adoration.
- “I love you”- I whispered and she smiled sweetly.
- “I love you too, batsy”- she replied and kissed me one more time- “Now go before I regret it and force you to stay with me on that bed.”- I chuckled, but my heart was just breaking, and it continued breaking as I moved apart from her and walked out of her door.
I actually walked out of her apartment (I still can’t believe I did it), and after a few blocks, I stood in front of a payphone, grabbed a few cents and dialed a number I knew by memory, even though I hadn’t called in years. The same old voice answered and after I presented myself with the same old alias I used back in the days, he chuckled.
- “I knew you’d come back”- the statement felt like a slap of reality. I should have stopped right there, hung up the phone, and gone back to (Y/N)’s. But I did none of that. Instead, I ignored the comment, asked for a dose and my former dealer told me where to go. As simple as that. That’s how I ruined everything I had worked for so hard in my life.
Later that night, I sat on a couch, staring at the Dialaudid bottle on my coffee table. I stared at it, feeling it was actually staring back at me, judging me. I deserved it though, being judged. I was being weak and a liar. And if my girlfriend ever caught me doing drugs again, she would never forgive me, that was a statement.
The phone ringing nearly made me jump off my chair. I grabbed the Dilaudid and hid it in a jacket hanging on a chair before picking up the phone, which made me feel stupid. Whoever was calling would never see it. But I was paranoid and I didn’t want to get caught.
- “Hello?”
- “Hey doc, how are you, it’s Frank.”
- “Hey Paco, nice to hear you.”
- “Likewise. I just wanted to call to tell you I am very sorry for your loss, and that I am here whenever you wanna talk.”- I froze and for a moment, I couldn’t even answer. Not that I was surprised that Frank would give me his support during a hard moment like that, but because I was still surprised I actually had friends. And good friends.
- “Doc? Are you there?”
- “Yeah, sorry. I’m just…”
- “Don’t worry, I totally get it. I was talking with (Y/N) earlier and she gave me the whole story. It’s pretty fucked up”
- “It is”
- “Do you wanna grab a beer? Nugget said you had been spending time with her, but maybe a night with a friend could do you better than being alone.”
- “I... don’t wanna be… a burden”- I simply confessed and closed my eyes.
- “Don’t be stupid. I’ll be there in ten.”
After I left the phone on the table, I stayed still, sitting on the couch, knowing there was a bottle of Dilaudid in my jacket. I couldn’t use it anymore, not if Frank was coming over. Maybe that was a good thing, I didn’t have to fail that night. I could fail the following day, or maybe late that night after Frank left.
Maybe I could tell (Y/N) I’m gonna get to her apartment after lunch, and use it in the morning. No, that was too risky, she might have noticed. I needed a whole night to recover.
My eyes were glued to my jacket. I had Dilaudid. What the hell was I thinking??! I couldn’t do that! not to me, not to (Y/N). After everything we went through those days she locked me in her apartment to get me sober, after all the times I thought about using, but my will was strong enough not to give up. Why was I quitting then?
The knock on my door took me from my thoughts. I jumped from the couch and took a deep breath before answering. Frank stood in the hall with a sick pack and a pizza.
- “I was in the neighborhood.”- he grinned and walked in.- “I didn’t know if you had dinner so I came prepared. Pizza, chips, and beer. It’s dude’s night.”
I smiled and nodded. Hanging out with Frank wasn’t that bad. It was way better than falling into Dilaudid again. I wondered if (Y/N) asked him to call me. Maybe she suspected something when I left earlier. I shouldn’t have left in the first place.
- “So, before you start over analyzing it, (Y/N) didn’t ask me to come or to check on you. I just thought you might need a little company. Someone who is not your girlfriend or any coworker.”- Frank opened a beer and grabbed a slice of pizza, sitting on the couch, on the same exact spot he always sat on when he visited.
- “Thank you, that means a lot.”
- “Don’t sweat it, doc. So… (Y/N) told me you already told her dad about your relationship. How was that?”- I chuckle and grab a beer for myself.
- “Terrifying”- I confess and think of Chief (Y/L/N)’ face when we told her we were together- “For a moment I was sure he was going to kill me. But everything ended up well”
- “He would have killed you if you never confessed your feelings for his daughter. That man really loves you. He has been telling my dad how great you are ever since he met you!”
That made me feel worse. Using Dilaudid again would never look good in front of (Y/N)’s parents, and I wanted to marry her. What the fuck was I thinking calling my dealer again?
- “So, when are you gonna ask her?”- I widened my eyes, shocked. Was Frank actually a mind reader? That would explain a lot. I just stared at him, still sipping my beer and he smiled- “Ok, I was kidding before but now clearly you were thinking about it.”
- “What are you talking about?”
- “I’ve always teased (Y/N) telling her you two are gonna get married, ever since the first time we met you. Now that you are dating, it’s just a matter of time”
- “We haven’t been together for a month yet!”
- “So? you love her, she loves you. What else do you need to know? You’ve known her for years! and you’ve loved her every day of those years. I support you if you wanna do it, and I could be your best man if you need me. I’m guessing Lu is gonna be her bride’s maid.
- “I don’t even have a ring yet”
- “As your best man, I could go with you to Tiffany’s and help you pick one”- I opened my mouth to answer, but no word came out for a few seconds until Frank burst out laughing and chewed his pizza.
- “I’m just kidding doc, I don’t mean to push you. It would be awesome if you two get married and have a lot of kids so I can spoil them and teach them all the bad words, though.”
Surprisingly, Frank had our life planned. I could only think about how disappointed he would be if only he knew I was planning to throw that future off the window when he called. Instead of saying anything else, I kept eating in silence and focused on not making a mess with the cheese in my pizza.
- “Mikey says hi by the way. I saw him earlier, I would have told him to come but he had a date.”
- “A date? wow, that’s new”
- “Yeah, the kid doesn’t date much, but when he does, it’s usually epic. Last time he dated a girl, they got matching tattoos.”- Frank started chuckling and nearly chook with his beer.
- “I remember, I was there when he showed us”- I raised an eyebrow as I reminded him I was actually part of that story. I was the one who told Mikey about all the infections he might get getting a tattoo in a random place, and also reminded him of the statistic of couples breaking up after getting one.
- “Right! sorry, I don’t have an eidetic memory”
- “And you were probably stoned”- I added and Frank grinned.
- “I don’t talk about drugs with the feds, doc.”
- “I don’t see any fed in the room. I’m home, Frank, not at work.”- and I also had drugs in the apartment. Shit, every second made me regret more my stupid decision of getting Dilaudid.
- “I know, I know, but I like teasing you two.”
- “Did you already have this talk with (Y/N)? the whole marriage thing?”- Frank nodded, chewing his pizza- “And did she freak out?”
- “Not really, so I would take that as a good sign.”
We ended up playing poker and drinking beer. Frank told me about a girl he had just met, and who seemed to be nice and fun to date. He also told me about how tired he was of his work, but he couldn’t quit or find anything new until the end of the year. He said he was planning to start a master's in psychology the following year, so he needed to save some money. I told him about our trip to visit my mother, and how excited I was to tell her (Y/N) and I were finally dating. We also talked about music, the piano lessons (Y/N) was giving me, gambling, and the first time I got kicked out of a casino.
We talked about anything and everything, except Prentiss. And it felt good, for once. It was an escape from reality, from feeling miserable and crying. It made me feel guilty for a moment, ‘cos I was having a lot of fun, but I figured if it included cards and booze, Prentiss would approve.
- “I was shocked when nugget told me you came home tonight. I had the feeling you two were way too entertained physically to bear a night apart”
- “I am not telling you about our sex life”- I raised both eyebrows as I continued dealing the cards.
- “Trust me, I don’t wanna know. I love my friend and I respect her intimacy.”- Frank made a pause and looked at me, trying his best not to burst out laughing.
- “I don’t need to use any profiler’s skill to know you are lying!”- and so he started laughing.
- “Sorry, sorry. Just… one question”
- “No, Frank!”- I frowned, but chuckled, ‘cos the fact he wanted to ask about our sex life was weird and I didn’t get why he was trying to do it.
- “I just need to know something!”
- “No!”
After we switched to whisky, talked more about music, specifically Johnny Cash, and ended up singing along with a vinyl I was playing, Frank came back with the sex questions.
- “Come on man! I am not a perv or anything, I just…”
- “No!”- I nearly shouted, chuckling.
- “But I need to know how the fuck can you be here with me getting drunk if you waited forever for her and didn’t fuck with anyone else that I know in like five years… did you?”
- “No”- if I hadn’t been half drunk, I wouldn’t have answered, I know that.
- “Ok, so if you didn’t fuck with anyone for five years, not even freaking Lila Archer! why aren’t you catching up with all the years of missing sex?! And how do you even manage to get out of bed to work every morning? I mean, you two have so much fucking pending!”
I just laughed for a moment, until Frank’s words made total sense. There I was, originally alone to get high, and then with Frank getting drunk, when I could be with the woman I loved, making love to her. What the fuck was I doing?
- “Now you wanna go and have sex with her, don’t you?”- Frank asked and finished his glass. I just looked at him, knowing I was blushing and finished my drink as well.
- “Oh shit you do. Fine, let’s share a cab.”- Frank stood up and grabbed what was left in the bag of chips.
- “Wait!”- I ran to my room, grabbed my bag, and filled it with clean clothes in less than two minutes- “Ok, now I’m ready”
- “Got enough condoms?”
- “She is on the pill”- again, things I would have never said if I hadn’t been half drunk.
- “Nice! Let’s go.”
And somehow, after a pizza, poker, whisky, and rambling, Frank accidentally stopped me from using Dilaudid and sent me back to (Y/N)’s arms. I still wonder if that was his plan all along.
I opened the door quietly. It was nearly two in the morning when I got to her place. The lights were out, so I took off my shoes and quietly made it to her room. There she was, laying on the bed, softly snoring. A book still on her lap let me know what she was doing before falling asleep. I left my bag on the floor, took off my pants and shirt, and got into bed with her. I carefully grabbed the book from her hands and put it on the night table, turned off the lights, and wrapped her in my arms.
- “I am so sorry, love. I promise I will never be that man again. I don’t wanna disappoint you.”- I mumbled and felt her breathing against my skin, as she fluttered her eyes and smiled.
- “What are you doing here, honey?”
- “I realized sleeping without you was a mistake. I don’t ever wanna be apart from you. Never.”- she smiled and snuggled closer.
- “You are welcome to stay forever, honey bunny.”- (Y/N) whispered, wrapping her arms around me - “Were you drinking?”
- “Frank brought beer… and I had whisky”- I kissed her neck and my hands roamed her body as I heard her chuckle. I hadn’t heard her laugh in days, that sound really made me feel happy.
- “I see, well, sleep that booze off and tomorrow you’ll have a nice breakfast for the hangover.”
- “But I don’t wanna sleep, ma cherié. I wanna worship you and love you like I always dreamed of doing”- I attached my lips to her neck and started sucking on her soft skin, to refresh the marks that claimed her as mine.
- “Worship me?”- she questioned and giggled. I don’t know why she found that amusing, I was completely serious.
- “Yes, like a goddess, the sun of my life, the light of my eyes”- I mumbled and made a trail of wet kisses from her neck to her chest, but she stopped me before I could reach her breasts.
- “Spencer, you are drunk!”
- “Yes, but not really that drunk. Consider myself uninhibited.”- I rolled on the bed and positioned myself on top of her. She looked at me confused.- “I am not intoxicated, pumpkin. I just had a long conversation with Frank that made me realize I wanted to be buried deep inside of you instead of being home alone.”
- “Spencer Walter Reid, you are being very honest!”- she made a pause and gasped- “Oh my god! were you talking about sex with Frank?”
- “What? No! I swear! he just started asking things and that made me think I wanted to be with you and love you all night long.”
And without giving her time to reply or even react, I crushed my lips against her and kissed her so deeply I nearly felt dizzy. I didn’t stop kissing her until I felt her hands on my back, holding me closer to her. That’s when I moved my lips from hers and heard her soft whimper of disapproval. I would have stopped myself and continued kissing her, I just wanted to do what made her happy, but… I knew what I had in mind was gonna be so much better for her.
I kissed her jaw and neck as I removed her pajama top. Then I continued my way down her body, playing with her breast for a long while, licking all over and pinching her nipples as she twisted underneath me, whispering my name. The delicious moans coming from her were the encouragement I needed to continue. So I moved my hand underneath the waistband of her cotton pajama shorts and slid my fingers between her wet folds. Even I let out a groan when I felt her so ready for me, it made my cock even harder, confined inside my boxers.
- “Spencer, please”- I heard her whisper and I looked at her, while I continued licking her nipples and she moaned even harder as we made eye contact.
- “Let me love you”- I murmured and resumed my task. I toyed with her clit, rubbing it slowly and teasing her entrance a few times, licking my fingers just to show her how much I liked her taste.
- “Honey, please let me touch you”- she begged and I shook my head, moving my lips from her breast and down her stomach, as I also tried to keep my erection away from her hands.
- “Not yet. I wanna please you first.”
I slowly moved until my face was perfectly located between her legs. My own piece of heaven. Her breathing was already shaking and I hadn’t even touched her yet. That felt like a good boost to my ego. I wanted to be able to please my woman, literally worship her. Frank was right, I had wasted way too much time before and I couldn’t continue on that path. I needed to enjoy every second with her, ‘cos I loved her. And I knew it was forever.
I wrapped my tongue around her clit, sucking it lightly and she twisted in pleasure right away, a soft moan leaving her lips. I grabbed her tights and kept her still in front of me. My tongue ran through her folds and two of my fingers made their way slowly into her entrance.
- “God, honey”- she twisted and I tried to hold her in place.
- “You taste so sweet”- I murmured against the inside of her thighs- “I could eat you all day, every day. I love you so much, so, so much.”- I looked at her for a moment and she smiled at me. But before she could reply, I started lapping her again, eating her like a hungry man. Her body trembled underneath me and her hand quickly found my hair, fingers entangled in it, trying to guide me to her release.
- “You are gonna make me cum already”- she said after a few minutes and bit her lips- “I don’t think I’ve ever cum this fast”
- “Cum for me, ma cherie. Let me make you feel good.”- she let out a groan as I felt her wall tighten around my fingers. Her moans were more intense until she reached her peak, nearly yelling.
I didn’t des attack my lips from her cunt. Instead, I kissed it slowly as she rode her high, and I didn’t stop until overstimulation made her jump. That’s when I kissed my way up to her breast again, then to her neck, and finally her lips.
- “You really are a genius”- (Y/N) chuckled and kissed me. I ran my hand down her face and lingered my fingers on the few bruises I had left on her skin earlier that week.
- “You are my everything”- I confessed feeling my cheeks turn pink. My girlfriend smiled and kissed me again- “And I am so scared to lose you.”
- “You won’t lose me, honey. Never.”- I felt a knot in my throat thinking she didn’t know what I had done. And she should never know either. So instead of drowning myself in depressing thoughts, I decided to continue with my task and worship my girlfriend. I kissed her slowly as I got rid of my underwear and aligned my cock against her entrance.
- “Please Spencer”
- “What do you need, ma cherié?”
- “You, just you.”- her request was more than I could take and I had to fight the tears back for a moment. But it wasn't time to think, it was time to act and show her just how much I loved every inch of her.
- “You have me, always.”
With a slow movement, and looking into her eyes, I slipped inside her. She gasped and scratched my arms as I did, adjusting to the intrusion.
- “You feel so good, honey”- I heard her whisper as she smiled for a moment before I leaned over and kissed her. I could still taste her juices in my mouth and the mix in her lips was fueling me. I slowly started moving inside her, as she moaned into my mouth.
- “I could live like this, buried deep into you, fucking you slowly, watching you cum.”
- “You are very uninhibited, honey”- she giggled as I kissed her neck.
- “I did warn you that”
- “Yes, and I’m loving it”
- “Good, ‘cos I think we wasted too much time being just friends and now I want to tell you what I feel for you all the time. And right now, ma cherié, I wanna make you cum and scream my name again until you can’t feel your legs anymore.”  
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beelmons · 1 year
Text
If every book is a world, an Amazon Kindle is an entire galaxy
Genre: Fluff Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader CW: Pre-established relationship Summary: Your boyfriend, Spencer, is a self-proclaimed technophobe. You offer a solution to all the books he often carries on his back during trips, an Amazon Kindle, perhaps you can make him grow fond of it?
—This is from all of us. Happy Birthday, Reid. —Hotch said as he handed him a medium-sized, rectangular box.
Spencer was happily, although a bit uncomfortably, sitting on his desk, recently blown candles on top of a chocolate cake, mind you with sprinkles on it. He was not big on birthdays, but ever since you joined the BAU you made sure no one would ever forget the special day again, a couple decades ago this world was blessed with the kind and loving existence of Spencer Reid, that was something worth celebrating in your books.
He took a second to thank everyone with a hug. For someone afraid of germs, he tended to get pretty touchy when he was feeling sentimental. The people around him cheered for the box to be opened, and with shyness in his eyes he complied to their desires.
—No way! —he excitedly let out—First edition “The Adventures of Tom Swayer”? Where did you even find this?
—The internet can be your friend, my friend. —Penelope palmed at his shoulder affectionately.
—Thank you, thank you so much, all of you, I know for a fact this couldn’t have been cheap. —his voice seemed to tremble a little.
—I did have to tap into my retirement account, but that smile was worth it, kid. —Rossi took a second to pat Spencer’s face, in that very Italian-dad-way that he always did.
—Yeah, my kids didn’t need college anyway, they have a very smart godfather. —JJ contributed.
There was an exchange of glances between the two older men in the office, shortly they excused themselves and wished for the party to continue merrily; in a blink they were shunned inside the Unit Chief’s office. The rest of the team remained by Reid’s desk; chatting, laughing, and eating the cake you had ordered earlier in the morning. As the piles of pending paperwork for past cases stared back at the cheery group, the people slowly began to scatter back to their desks, until it was only Garcia, Reid, and you cleaning up the desk area. Spencer didn’t like messy work spaces after all.
—I really hope you enjoyed your little party, boy genius. —Penelope said as she threw away the last of the disposable plates.
—I did, and thank you, once again, for everything. —he answered as his sight travelled from Penelope to you repeatedly.
—Don’t even mention it. —you said, your arms crossing over your chest. For a second, your eyes met, and you felt your heart skip a bit at the way they shined when you were reflected in them.
—So…—the blonde once again interrupted with a suggestive tone in her voice— I want to see the gift your girlfriend is gonna give you.
—Penelope, once again, I think it’s weird when you talk about me in third person while I’m standing right here. —you reproached her, and you saw Spencer chuckle shyly.
—Please, please, I just love couple gifts, they are always so intimate and personal, and you guys know I feed from your happiness, it’s like it recharges me.
—She gave me my gift last night when the clock struck midnight. She wanted to be the very first to congratulate me. —Spencer said in attempt to diffuse her interest.
—Ooh, spicy, I like your style.
—Not that! —you yelled with a laugh— I got him a night lamp in the shape of a Tardis, like the one from Dr. Who.
—It was a great gift. I really love it. —he kept his eyes fixed on you, a small smile drawn on his face.
—Really? —Penelope cocked an eyebrow—I mean, I don’t mean to pry, and that’s an awesome gift, but you guys have been together for a year, I would have expected whips or cuffs to be given away by now.
Spencer broke into an awkward laugh, and you mimicked him. It’s not like those things hadn’t been given as presents before, but it was more of a valentine’s day or anniversary type of gifts. For birthdays, you had always liked to do simple but meaningful things, to buy that one product that’s constantly in your cart, but you never buy because “it’s too silly”, or that useless kitchenware that will only take up space, but it’s so cute it would make you insanely happy, or that book that you know is going to be tacky and doesn’t feel “worth the money” but you still so desperately want, those are the kinds of gifts you liked giving each other, something that reminded you that you paid attention to even the smallest things, that you loved even the smallest things.
—Actually, —you began to explain— I do have a little extra something.
Both of your friends’ eyes opened in surprise as they looked at you expectantly. You took a moment to go through your bag and pulled a rectangular, slim black object. You let out a “Ta-dah!” sound as you showed the little gadget to them. It lingered on Spencer’s fingers for a second as he inspected it, but the moment Penelope realized what it was, her hands quickly snatched it away.
—You got an Amazon Kindle?! —she exclaimed with excitement.
—What’s an Amazon Kindle? —Reid asked in confusion.
—Oh, boy wonder, it’s only the future of reading, you see, in this tiny rectangle you can have millions of books altogether, and the screen even looks like real paper, but it’s all digital. This is a super cool and great gift! —she answered as she began to explore the interface of the tablet.
You watched with a smile at the glowing woman in front of you, she looked like a child being handed a new toy. The candid moment, however, did not last very long, couple of minutes later everyone was gathered in the briefing room with a new case in hand. As you broke up the gathering you had, Spencer took the reading gadget and slid it inside his leather bag for safekeeping.
Once the overall details of the case were explained by the round table, the team picked the “wheels up in 30” routine, grabbing go-bags, calling loved ones to announce that they were going away, and picking their favorite spot on the plane. The case took you all the way to the west coast, which was always one of the most difficult trips to take, long and paralyzing, since there was not much you could do before arriving at the hosting precinct. The second briefing, and a small exchange of theories and ideas, took place during the first hour of the trip, but with plenty to go, everyone decided to scatter once again.
Ever since the two of you started dating, you would often sit together during flights, whether it was on the couch or by the table, and when you wanted to talk more privately you would choose the dual seats that were facing each other. Spencer immediately took one of the individual face-to-face chairs, and you went over to discuss a couple topics with Morgan before you headed to make your boyfriend some company. You caught a glimpse of him at the end of the jet with a book in his hand, which reminded you that you had a fair amount of time to kill, and no entertainment in hand.
—Hey. —you said as you took the seat in front of him.
—Hey. —he replied, his book being lowered to pay you the corresponding attention.
—Where’s the Kindle tablet?
There was a small trace of sadness on your boyfriend’s face as you asked that question, and it took you aback. He reached for his bag and pulled out the digital reader, laying it on the table that was across him.
—Hey, uhm, I don’t want to seem ungrateful… —he started to explain and earned a confused expression from you—It’s a very thoughtful gift, and I appreciate it, but I really prefer reading in an analog format. I can pay you back for it, if you want.
You let out a quiet laugh at how cute he was being, and quickly your hand darted out to grab his.
—Spence, babe, relax. You truly are adorable. —you never used pet names when the team was around, but in that moment, everyone else had disappeared from the phase of the earth.
—I am? —even though he reciprocated the grasp, his face showed pure confusion.
—I know you, Spencer. You only have an iPhone because the bureau forced you to. With all the ruckus of the new case I didn’t have time to explain. I got the Kindle for myself, and a subscription to Kindle Unlimited, the real surprise was that I also took the time to look up some of your favorite authors, and I got their e-books downloaded to the Kindle reader. I know you always have a stash of books for trips, this is just in case you run out. I got your back, library rat.
You saw as his face lit up, his lips drew into a crescent, and his hand offered a reassuring squeeze on yours.
—I love you. —he muttered.
—Love you too, Dr. Reid. —you replied with a smile of your own and settled back for a comfy ride with your trustworthy digital reader.
The case had dragged itself long, almost a week you spent in California until you could apprehend the UnSub, and needless to say you were getting tired of not sleeping on your own bed. By the time the case was wrapped up, you couldn’t wait to get home, take a hot bath, and sleep for hopefully three days straight, although in your line of work you knew it wasn’t possible.
On the plane back, you took the couch and Spencer came along. He had devoured his current stash of books through out the week, and now was left with nothing but his own mind to distract himself from the never ending flight. He was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with you, and you could see the way he kept peeking at the paper-like screen on your hands.
—What are you reading? —he asked curiously.
—The hunger games: Catching fire.
—I thought you had that in your apartment.
—I do, but I randomly felt like reading it again, and I happen to have it on here.
He let out a hum in agreement and you felt him slouch next to you, his head landing on your shoulder almost immediately. A few minutes went by, he continued to shuffle every once in a while, and you could tell, you could tell he was unable to fall asleep. His eyes continued to open from time to time, taking in glances of whatever page you were reading.
—So, she is trying to overthrow the government alone? —he asks quietly, his head still on your shoulder.
—Not really, the rebellion was just waiting for a token hero to serve as emblem of faith, but it had existed long before that. —you answered, your eyes still glued to the small tablet.
—It doesn’t make sense, her acts of defiance would have been put down faster by such an efficient government. Can you move to the next page?
At his request, you turned your head down to questioningly cock an eyebrow at him, a little bit of offense written on your face.
—Do you want to read it instead?
—No, it’s alright. —he said with a bit of embarrassment as he straightened himself instead—I would have to read the first book to make sense of it all.
—Oh, you mean… —as if you had magically snapped your fingers, you clicked your way through the interface of the tablet to land on the book you had just mentioned and, in a blink, you had the prologue already open; your hand held the device loosely before Spencer, offering for him to grab it —this one?
—The digital versions kind of slow me... —he began to exclaim in attempt to excuse himself.
—Slow you down? —you interrupted—Come on, genius, it’s the hunger games, not everything has to be read at a 20,000 words per minute speed. Just enjoy it, or mock its inaccuracies, or even laugh at its ridiculousness, but entertain yourself. When you get home, you wash your hands from the filthy metadata, and go back to your beloved physical books.
With a light huff he took the digital reader from your hands and began to read through the words on it. You took advantage of his focus to slide yourself beneath the arm next to yours, allowing it to rest on your shoulders, and let your head fall against the side of his chest; if you weren’t going to read about some silly divergent romance, might as well take a nap until you got home. He didn’t impose any resistance, JJ had mentioned once how he went to his own little world when he read, and apparently that fact wasn’t affected by the genre of the book he was reading. Your free arm took the liberty to dart across his stomach, and you were all set to fall into a slumber.
Three hours went by, and there were still a couple more to go, when Spencer finished the first book. To his surprise, his sight wasn’t strained, and even if, certainly, the read was slower than his usual speed, due to having to change the page more often since there were less words per page, it wasn’t that much different from reading a common book.
—Well, well, so all it took was a girl to turn you into inspector gadget, huh? —Morgan teased as he was making his way towards the bathroom.
—I still prefer holding actual pages, but it does come in pretty handy. —he turned quickly to catch a glimpse of your sleeping figure and a dumbfounded smile appeared on his face, one that Derek recognized right away—It amazes me how she knows I’ll like things before I even know I’ll like them.
—Yeah, man, that’s what girlfriends do. —he chuckled in an almost mutter— I take it it’s going well between you two?
—Yeah. It’s going really well. —he felt you slightly shudder beneath his limb—Hey, Morgan, can you hand me one of the blankets? I think she’s cold and I don’t want to wake her.
His friend complied to the instruction as he pulled the fabric from one of the random empty seats behind him. He stayed to admire the way Spencer would use his only free hand to cover you up, part of the blanket landing on his lap as well. Morgan didn’t tell him about the way his eyes sparkled, or the content sigh that he let out as he admired your sleeping face, or the fool-in-love smile that he carried on that moment.
—Man, don’t let Hotch see you like this, he will write you up for inappropriate workplace behavior. Trust me. —Derek said as he got up to go back to his seat.
—Noted. Oh, and Derek, do you know how to change books on this thing? —he said in a rush as he noticed his friend’s intention, showing the kindle that was still in his hands—I kind of, uhm, want to know what happens in Catching Fire.
The muscular man couldn’t help but to laugh out of adoration, the boy genius had that effect in almost anyone who he met, it was what caught your attention in the first place; Morgan tapped on the screen a couple of times and opened the prologue to the second book, handing it to Spencer right after.
When you were alone yet again, and as he skimmed through the pages of the introduction, he felt something in his chest, like a glowing light that both pressed it down and made it feel like levitating at the same time. The hand that was around you travelled to your head, and in your sleep you couldn’t feel the way his lips pressed against the top of your hair in a chaste kiss. The love of his life in one hand, and a good book in the other, or well, a good book-ish, that’s all he needed to feel whole. If it helped him hold you as he read, perhaps this gadget wasn’t that bad.
After that day, you bought him his own Kindle, and he never left home without it.
115 notes · View notes
purplelightyouth · 2 years
Text
Emily is definitely gay bruh like the tension between her an JJ? The tension between her and Tara? This woman didn't have a drop of chemistry with any boyfriend they got her on the show fr especially not that potato head in season 15
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sweetyyhippyy · 2 years
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sweetyyhippyy masterlist 🌼
Criminal Minds: 
*Spencer Reid: 💼
“Part of You” series (Spencer Reid x OC! Character.)
Smut One Shots
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Stranger Things:
*Eddie Munson: 😈
Smut One Shots
Fluff One Shots
Angst One Shots
Dad!Eddie Series
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*Steve Harrington: 🍦
Fluff one shots
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spencerreidsworld · 2 years
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bookstore - spencer reid
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synopsis: reader meets spencer at an old bookstore.
warnings: none
wc: 1.1k+
a/n: im working on a much longer piece based off a request in my ask rn but i wanted to take a break and just write my ultimate fluffy spence fantasy so here we are :))) i hope u guys like it <3
masterlist | ask/request
As I pushed open the heavy wooden door of my favourite bookstore, I inhaled the smell of all the old, water-damaged pages of the vintage books surrounding me. It was my favourite place in the world; rows and rows of floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with a myriad of worn down books of all kinds. Dim lighting, old Muzak playing out of the scratchy speakers, the hushed sound of voices and pages turning. There was rarely ever anyone within the store other than a handful of employees and maybe one other person shopping. It was my solace, my escape, and I could spend hours just running my fingers along the cracked spines of the books and breathing in the heavy air. 
I nodded at the employee behind the counter before making my way to one of my most frequented sections, surrounded by various long forgotten non-fiction books about various historical civilizations; ancient Greece, Roman times, the dark times of the Soviet Union. It was a weird section, at the very back corner of the store, dusty and dark. I only ever felt complete peace in this corner of the universe, and I scanned the shelves as I continued to breathe in the comforting smell. I had never seen anyone, let alone an employee in this corner of the store. I was used to being utterly alone here, and I considered it my own little section of the world. That is, until, the sound of shuffling beside me scared the absolute soul out of my body. 
“Oh, God!” I exclaimed, fumbling with the heavy hardcover in my hands before pressing it flush to my chest, huffing out a deep breath of relief and annoyance as I took in the surprised look of the man standing a few feet away from me. “You scared me.” 
He was in the middle of pulling a book off of the shelf next to me and was watching me with raised eyebrows, holding the book half off the shelf. I studied him as I waited for a response, taking in his wiry, tall stature, his slightly long disheveled hair, his blazer and book bag. He was actually pretty cute, his equal surprise clear in his very handsome face. His cheeks flushed as I watched him, still clutching the book against my heaving chest, catching my breath as fast as I could. I cursed myself for being so easily startled.
“I-I’m sorry.” He stuttered finally in a low, shaky voice. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 
I shook my head quickly, feeing suddenly charmed by his beauty and apparent shyness, looking down at my feet and clearing my throat awkwardly.
“Uh, no,” I said. “It’s okay.” I gave him a halfhearted, anxious smile and he returned it.  “I’m just not used to seeing anyone else in this section. Like, ever.” 
He let out a short laugh, nearly making me jump again, and nodded as he pushed the book he was looking at back onto the shelf. 
“Yeah, me neither.” He responded. 
I nodded, turning back to the shelves in front of me. I could feel myself blushing and I tried to ignore how hard my heart was beating in my chest. I began focusing on the titles, trying to find something to distract me from the inexplicable tension between us. 
We were silent for a few moments before he spoke again, to my disbelief. 
“I’m Spencer.” 
I looked up at him from the book cover I was reading to see him looking at me with wide, nervous eyes. I could tell it had taken courage for him to say something else in the quiet. 
“Hi, Spencer,” I said softly, feeling myself smile. There was something so magnetic about him, and it wasn’t just the fact that there was a very cute, clearly intelligent boy standing a few feet from me in my favourite section of my favourite bookstore. It felt like the ultimate romantic comedy meet-cute, and I wondered for a moment if I was hallucinating. 
“What’s your name?” His voice interrupted my thoughts yet again, and my face flushed. Nope, not hallucinating. 
“Uh, sorry,” I laughed nervously. “It’s Y/N.” 
Spencer nodded with a small smile. 
“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” 
“You too, Spencer,” I said, looking down at my book again. 
“What have you got there?” He motioned towards it with the book he was holding. I suppressed a smile as my thoughts ran: it seemed really clear to me that he wanted to keep talking to me, but I was worried that I was overthinking it. This adorable guy who loves reading the same books as me wants to get to know me better? It had to be too good to be true. I glanced down at the tattered paperback, realizing I didn’t even know what I had in my hands. I was so worried about distracting myself from my sudden, debilitating crush that I had just grabbed something completely random. 
It was a book on the history of Paganism and witchcraft. Definitely something I was interested in, but now I realized he probably thought I was a witch. I laughed as I read the title and looked up. 
“It’s a book on uh, Paganism and the Salem witch trials.” 
He nodded, an interested look on his face that I was sure he was feigning. 
“Cool,” he said, and I realized with his tone of voice that he actually was interested. I felt heat spread across my chest.
“What about you?” I asked softly, nodding towards the thick book he was holding. “Oh, uh,” he looked down at it and scanned the cover and his cheeks tinted pink. “I don’t know, to be honest. I just grabbed something random.” 
I nodded. 
“Me too,” I admitted, turning to the shelf and sliding the book back into place. His laugh ran through the quiet corner of shelves again and I felt goosebumps spread across my arms at the sound. I smiled up at him. 
He shifted slightly, shouldering the strap of his book bag as we stood staring at each other, small smiles gracing both of our nervous faces. 
“Would you wanna go get coffee?” He fumbled through his words, stepping towards me. “I- I mean, I think I should buy a drink for the only other person in this section I’ve ever seen.” 
He was looking down at me with wide, nervous eyes, and our proximity was suddenly wildly apparent. I could smell him, the faint smell of coffee and teakwood tingling my senses. I nodded quickly, realizing I had been staring at him for a few seconds too long. 
“Yeah, that- yes. That sounds nice.” I stuttered, turning towards the front of the bookstore. “But I’m buying.” Spencer shook his head with a small smile as I felt his fingers brush the back of my shirt while we walked towards the door. 
“We’ll see about that.” 
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stiles-o-dylan24 · 5 months
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∞ Fluff     Ω Angst    ✤Smut  ➳ Join Taglist
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▻Spencer Reid◅
I'd Find You Anywhere Ω∞ [k] *wip coming soon
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▻Derek Morgan◅
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▻Luke Alvez◅
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Text
A Rarity
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~900
Warnings: fluff
Summary: You have a rare genetic code called heterochromia. You have two different colored eyes that you have tried to suppress ever since you got seriously bullied in middle school. Just when you're about to present a case, you find your contact case is missing.
Square Filled: friends with benefits (2022) for @spencerreidbingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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x
Today is the day you start your new job as the team’s liaison. You’ve always been part of this since JJ was the main person to deal with it. However, she’s been promoted to profiler which means all the slack now falls on your shoulders. You love interacting with families and comforting them when they most need it.
This is the first case when it’s just going to be you, so you’re kind of nervous about it. Before going into the briefing room, you decide to touch up on your makeup and hair as if you’re going in front of millions on the TV to present the case. You take out your contacts and leave them to rehydrate on your desk while you go to the bathroom to fix your makeup.
Once you’re done, you make sure not to look into anyone’s eyes as you make your way back to your desk. The first thing you do is put away your makeup. The second thing you do is grab your contacts to put them back in but they’re not where you left them.
“Shit,” you curse and go through your entire desk. “No, this isn’t happening.”
You’re panicking at the thought of not having your contacts. You don’t need them to see, in fact, you have 20/20 vision. No, you use them only for color because you have a rare thing called heterochromia. Your right eye is bright blue and your left is bright green. You were born with two different eye colors. No one in your family has this genetic but you, so you have no idea where it came from.
Ever since you were enrolled in school, you were bullied for your eyes. It didn’t start getting bad until middle school when kids were more focused on appearances than learning and making friends. Kids in elementary school actually found them to be cool but only because they were little kids who didn’t know any better.
Your peers made you hate this part of you even though you can’t do anything about it. As soon as you started high school, you begged your mom to get you colored contacts. You’ve been wearing them ever since even into your adult years. You choose a natural blue to make yourself look more normal. Had you not had those, you would for sure get bullied even worse than in middle school.
The longer you went wearing them the more people thought your eyes were just one color. No one at work knows about this or so you thought. The only person who might know about this is Spencer but that’s only because you two have been friends with benefits for quite some time now. It helps to have one to work off the stress from work. Plus, he’s an amazing lover so there’s a plus.
You two aren’t dating just fucking a lot.
While he was getting ready this morning at your place, you were in the bathroom rushing to do your makeup. You hadn’t put your contacts in just yet so if he were to walk in the bathroom, he’d see your eyes for what they truly are. He was getting ready and peeked through the open door to see if you were close to being done when he saw the beauty in your eyes. He didn’t say anything about it so as not to embarrass you.
He walks into the bullpen from the break room to see you panicking.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Where are my contacts? I just had them on my desk.”
“I didn’t know you wore contacts,” he lied. You refuse to look at him without them in. “I’m sure it’ll be alright. You have glasses, right?”
“Yes, but--”
“But what? What’s the problem?”
“Never mind,” you groan and continue looking for them.
“Hey, look at me.” When you don’t, he sets his coffee down on the desk and grabs your chin gently. He makes you look at him but you close your eyes so he doesn’t see their colors. “Open your eyes.”
“No,” you shake your head.
“Darling, open your eyes,” he says gently.
He would be the person to find out eventually. You sigh and open your eyes to show him the rarity you have. Now that he gets to see them up close, he’s falling more in love with you. You might not have feelings for him but he certainly has them for you. He only keeps you as a fuck buddy because if he were to tell you the truth, he might lose you.
“What beautiful eyes you have.”
“They’re ugly,” you sigh and pull away from him.
“Who told you that?”
“Everyone I’ve ever known,” you scoff. You look at your watch and notice the time. “Shit, I have to give the case out.”
“No one is going to notice.”
“Are you kidding me? They’re so bright. They stand out.”
“Fine, if they make comments, I’ll handle it.”
You have no choice but to go in there without your contacts. You sigh and grab your things before heading to the briefing room with Spencer. Everyone is already in there waiting so you immediately get started. As you’re talking, you notice Spencer watching you with a smile on his face.
“You’re beautiful,” he mouths to you.
Your cheeks heat up but you don’t let it show how happy he makes you. The briefing only lasts thirty minutes before Hotch announces wheels up. When everyone is packing up to get out of there, you notice something sticking out of Spencer’s back pocket. 
Your contact case. You want to be mad at him for taking it but maybe it’s time to let your rarity shine.
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cumulo-stratus · 3 months
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Flashback
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Pairing: dad!Spencer Reid x gn!Reader
Summary: spencer discusses his thoughts around having kids with his spouse after putting their daughter Diana to bed.
Warnings: mentions of drug abuse/addiction, mentions of cannon typical violence, discussions of having kids(obviously), poor insecure Spencer 🥺🥺
A/N : this was written for the @cmgiftexchange!! I wrote this for @omgbigfluffwriting, I hope you enjoy it and that I did your prompt well!! Merry Christmas <33
wc: 1.7k
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The sound of giggling filled the Reid household as you chased the mini-Reid through the kitchen and into the living area. When you finally caught Diana you slipped your hands under her arms and swung her up onto your hip with a cheer. When you both finally caught your breaths you made eye contact with your husband who had a scolding look on his face, but there was still a smile twitching at lips at the scene he had just witnessed. “You know she has to be in bed in- 15 minutes!” Spencer paused and looked down at his watch to emphasize his point about how close it was to Diana's bed time. You just sighed dramatically and addressed your daughter “Well, I think your dads right- we gotta get you to bed- it's a school night!”.
After much kid wrangling and only one bedtime story bribe, Diana was sound asleep and safe- leaving you and your husband for some alone time together. After so many years of being together, you and Spencer dont find there's a need to fill the silence you're often draped in. 
But that night the silence got Spencer thinking. Thinking about you, thinking about Diana, thinking about the life he's built for himself. If he was being honest with himself he never thought he would be here. A spouse and a child, a house. It was more than 23 years old Dr. Spencer Reid, new BAU agent could have possibly imagined. A spouse, let alone a child. 
Those thoughts were even more discouraged when he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankle. Spencer considered that one of his lowest points, he had been tortured and drugged- how could it not be. That's not even to mention the addiction that followed. He was in pieces, mentally and physically. Even after he got clean, Spencer often told himself that he wasn't worthy of children. That he would be worse than his own dad. And without you there to reassure him as you often did after you met, these beliefs solidified in his mind. 
“Y/n?” You looked over at Spencer from where you were lying across from him on the couch. Your questioning look was enough of an answer for Spencer so he continued, “did you always want kids? I used to think I didn't deserve kids”. You gave Spencer a look of pity, you hated when he had thoughts at his own expense. And he knew that. But Spencer couldn't help himself. 
“First of all, Diana loves you and you're the best father for her- full stop. Second of all, I always wanted kids, I think you did too”. Spencer nodded, he had always wanted kids- it was his mind that told him not to. 
“I didn't really start believing that kids were a possibility when I met you”. Spencer smiled warmly when he spoke, his eidetic memory not failing to remember any details from when you first met.
——
Spencer was sat his car that he rarely drove, going to the supermarket, which he rarely did. But it wasn't often that he spiraled into a depressive episode after seeing his girlfriend murdered in front of him, so he thought a change of pace might do him some good. Or more like penelope garcia thought it would do him some goo
That’s how he ended up strolling through the public park on a Tuesday afternoon in april. It was sunny and warm, a stark contrast to the sunken purple bags under Spencer's eyes and the wrinkly shirt that probably should’ve been washed before leaving the house. 
But you- in spencers eyes you were a beauty unto yourself, regardless of what you were wearing. That was one thing that hadn’t changed since he met you, and he swore never would.
To be honest, it was by luck that Spencer had run into you; you were with your nephew as babysitter for the day when he started bothering spencer. Needless to say you were very apologetic.
“Tom, no! leave that man alone! i'm so sorry sir, he doesn't mean it”
You were extremely apologetic, ushering your nephew away from the stranger. Spencer was flustered but understanding, red evident on his cheeks.
Skip to a few hours later and Spencer had spent the entire time with you. It was the best Spencer had felt in weeks, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. 
That night he couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened; walking around with you, talking with you, meeting your nephew and sister. Spending time with your nephew, it got him thinking. Spencer had tucked away the idea of having kids far into a little nook into his mind, and spending time with Tom dredged it up from the depths of his brain. 
Despite still reeling with the death of his girlfriend, Spencer still couldn't get the thought of having kids and being a dad out of his head. It nagged at him all the time, and the thoughts got loud when he was with you. Picturing you as a parent during your coffee dates. 
Although Spencer Reid has an IQ of 187, and an eidetic memory, it still took him weeks to realize why he couldn’t get the thought of children out of his head; because he wanted to be a dad. He wanted to care for someone, knowing that they rely on him. 
——
“Spencer? Spence?” 
Spencer is pulled from his thoughts of when the couple first met by your soft voice. You had a small look of concern on your face at your husband's lack of awareness of the current reality. Spencer hummed in response to ease your worries. “What's got you with that Spencer Reid Far Off Look ™ in your eyes huh?” you asked. Spencer chuckles, and responds, “Just thinking about when we first met… after Maeve died- it's what got me thinking about having kids you know-”. it's your turn to chuckle now, remembering the embarrassment of having to usher away your nephew. Though your eyes held a sympathetic look at the mention of maeve, it would always be a bit of a sensitive subject. 
“Ya, we have tom to thank for that. But I didn't know that's when you started thinking of kids- I thought it was later, when you first talked to me about it”.
——
It was 1:03 am, and Spencer was still awake, to be fair he had just gotten back from a bad case. It was always bad when it involved kids, Spencer couldn't get the face of the little girl they couldn't save in time out of his head. Thoughts raced through his head, but he would never tell you about them- after all you had only been together for a couple months. Spencer couldn't risk being that vulnerable with you.
So here he was, tossing and turning at one am over a case he couldn't get out of his head- trying not to wake up the sleeping figure beside him. He couldn't stop thinking about if that little girl had been his little girl. What would he do then? Spencer didn’t know if he could handle having another human rely on him so heavily- what if he let them down. What if he became like his own father, something he swore he would never do. 
In all of Spencer's spiraling thoughts he hadn’t noticed that you had woken up from the constant shifting of the bed, which was caused by his  incessant tossing and turning in bed. You noticed the look in Spencer's eyes was one you knew well, it was a look that said the gears were turning a little too fast in that big beautiful brain of his. 
But before you could say anything, Spencer got to it first. “Would I- would I be a good dad?” You were caught off guard by Spencer's question, not expecting him to bring that up. But you could tell Spencer had been thinking about it for a while, if the worry crease between his eyebrows was anything to go by.
“I think you’d be a great dad spence- your kind, your caring, you have an amazing compacité to be there for other people, i think especially if it was your kid..”
You speak in a quiet, comforting tone in order to release at least some of the anxiety your boyfriend is harboring. In an effort to punctuate your point you give Spencer a small squeeze on the arm, hoping it would provide at least a little bit of comfort.
Spencer offered a nod in response not quite knowing what to say to his partner's kindness. Instead of speaking Spencer just rolled from the other side of the bed into your warm embrace, which contrasted the cool breeze from the open window.
——
Spencer comes back from his thoughts by the sound of small feet pitter pattering on the hardwood floors. you don't comment on your husband's spacey-ness that evening, instead opting to sit up and find the source of the sound. 
Which you find out to be the small feet of Diana Reid, who had woken up from a bad dream and sought out the comfort of her parents. Her small frame struggled to climb onto the large bed, so Spencer lifted her up by her armpits and placed her between him and you.
“Cant sleep?”
You ask though the dark, soothingly running your fingers through her curly hair.
“ya.. i had a bad dream and couldn’t fall back asleep”
Her voice is small, the six year old still a bit embarrassed at needing to sleep in her parents bedroom, but Spencer's calming hand running up and down her back helped ease some of the embarrassment and helped her sink into her loving parents arms.
“That’s okay, you can always sleep in here with us if you want”
Spencer says as he kisses Diana's head, and the little girl is already falling asleep in the couple's arms. Both Spencer and you look down at your daughter, now fast asleep in between you, and it puts a smile on your faces. And you can't help but lean over and place a haste kiss on spencers lips and say;
“You know I told you you’d be a good dad”
you had a bit of a sly smirk on your face as Spencer chuckled, and he responded “I guess you were right huh”. And that's how the Reid family fell asleep, contented in each other's arms.
The End
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roadtogracelandx45 · 1 year
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does anyone have any good Spencer Reid fics or fic recs?
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Long Distance
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Summary: You and Spencer have to do long-distance for a moment due to work, and he comes up with a solution to satisfy both your needs.
Warnings: smut, phone sex, nervous Spencer, masturbation, pet names, subtle dom reader, Spencer becomes slightly dom, minimal use of Y/N,
Word Count: Less than 1k.
-> MASTERLIST
Even if you and Spencer both worked in the B.A.U. and were by each other’s sides almost all day, there were times when you were separated. Sometimes Spencer had to go to another city or state to get more information, or you used your minimal vacation days to visit your family, and Spencer had to stay behind to help while you were gone. It was difficult, but it worked out. But this time you couldn’t bear to be without him. Not only were you yearning for one of his warm hugs once again, or a statistical ramble just so you can hear his voice again, but there was also a throbbing sensation in your stomach that wouldn’t go away.
Spencer gulps slowly into the phone before he decides to break the silence. “So, um. Where do we start?” he asks. You let out a chuckle. “This was your idea, Spencer,” you say. “You said phone sex was an effective way to keep relationships solid during long distant times.”
“You’re right,” he says as he clears his throat. “What are you wearing?” he asks in a straining-low voice, and you have to hold back your laughter.
“Did you search up ‘how to have phone sex’ online?” you ask and hear a faint mouse click on the other end, presumably closing a tab. “No.” He lies. You laugh softly. “Well, that’s not a bad start,” you say, which eases his nerves slightly. “I can tell you that I'm wearing far too much.” You hum. “Do you want me to take some off?” You ask, almost teasing.
“Yes.” He says without a second to wait or think. You chuckle as you remove your shirt, looking at yourself in the large mirror across the bedroom to admire your physique, imagining Spencer’s hands along your curves. 
“I took off my shirt.” You tell him. “Good.” He replies, almost dominant. “Now take off your bra.” He instructs, and you laugh. “Hey, watch it. I’m not taking anything else off until I know you’ve at least taken off your shirt,” you explain. “It’s only fair.” You grin. Spencer sighs, painstakingly taking off his shirt at your orders.
“Is it off?” You ask. “Yes.” He says. “Good boy.” You just know he’s blushing uncontrollably, and that the erection in his pants, which was inevitable, was soon to be rock solid.
You unclip your bra, tossing it to the side as if Spencer is watching. “Bet you miss my tits,” you say as you knead one in your palm. “Wish you were touching them, sucking them.” Spencer whimpers at your words, his hand already palming his erection.
“I don’t think I can wait so long, baby.” He huffed. “Wait for what?” You ask. He gulps again, shifting his hips as the erection becomes unbearable. “Can’t wait to touch myself. To hear you moan- and come.” He says almost pathetically.
“Touch yourself, Spence. For me.” He wastes no time taking his pants off and slowly toys and his tip. He hums at the immediate pleasure. “Mmm… wish you were here, babe…” He whispers. You remove your pants as he spoke, peeling off your soaked panties as you slowly begin circling your own throbbing clit. “I am, baby. Imagine that your hand is mine.” You tell him.
You hum into the receiver, imagining Spencer's large, slender fingers rubbing you perfectly. “Spencer…” You moan softly, and he whimpered at your voice. “You sound so pretty.” He whispers to you as his hand gets faster, working on his entire length instead of just the tip. “So, so pretty…” He hums, letting out a low moan as he thrusts into his hand.
Your hand trembles on the phone as you struggle to hold it securely, the constant stimulation and pleasure washing through you like heat waves. “Fuck…” You curse. It felt so good. He felt so good. Spencer whines your name as he squeezes his hand around his cock, almost moaning fully as the pleasure sent alerts to the millions of nerve endings in his body, each one putting him in complete bliss as he chases his high like a mad man. He moans “Y/N…” as he moves faster and faster.
“I’m gonna- Fuck. Oh my god. I’m gonna come.” He says, almost screaming it as pregnant beads of sweat trickle down his forehead. “M-me too…” You struggle to say as another moan escapes your lips. 
“Are you gonna… gonna be a good girl for me? Gonna come?” He hesitantly says like stepping into unfamiliar ground, afraid it might crumble right from his feet. You nod over and over again as your head swims in ecstasy. “Yes, yes. I’ll come. I’ll come,” you whine. You never saw this side of Spencer. You liked it.
“Good- good girl.” You moan at the name, his sultry yet shaky voice was enough to push you right over the edge and fall into the everlasting pit of pleasure and bliss. You moan painfully. Just knowing that he was furiously stroking his cock and thinking of you, moaning your name and telling you to come. As you reached your high, Spencer was not far behind, finally feeling his release as his come shoots out from his tip, covering him in his mess as his body spasms from the overwhelming pleasure. 
No words were spoken before Spencer decided to break the wordless silence of faint whines and laboured breath. “Y/N…?” He calls out. “Yes?”
He smiled as he heard your voice, identifying the smile on your lips by your tone. “Did you… did you like that?” He asked, reverting back to a more introverted version of himself, as always. 
“Baby, I loved it.”
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think it is about time for a masterlist - part one
written in the stars
chapter one
chapter two
chapter three part one
chapter three part two
little black dress
chapter one
chapter two
chapter three
breeding a killer
coming soon!!!!
song fics
i thought about taking my life last night - emily and maggie (part one)
confronting jj and hotch (part two)
chillin like a villain - breeding a killer - maggie hotchner au
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