#Stede’s love language

[biceratops7]

Hmm, any one notice this?

So a while ago I wrote a meta about how Stede isn’t actually oblivious to his feelings towards Ed, but I was really thinking about it at work today and honestly… Ed kind of is.

I know the running joke of Stede effortlessly being the most objectively romantic human on planet earth by sheer accident is hilarious. But did you ever notice that when Stede is actually trying to be loving on purpose, Ed Doesn’t Get it?

We can assume Stede started the ritual of them eating breakfast together cause it’s his quarters, and the intimacy of that clearly went right over Ed’s head cause he let Jack invade it without a second thought. Like Ed, honey, did the implications of a man wanting to eat breakfast with you and only you every single day seriously never register to you??

Stede plans a whole day together “treasure hunting” when he wants Ed to stay. The whole “you wear fine things well” business was pure oblivion on Stede’s part, this is him flirting. And he’s trying so hilariously hard to make this ridiculous idea work, but Ed still doesn’t get the gist. Luckily Lucius I-need-a-fucking-raise- Spriggs is here to save the day and clue Ed in to what at least this particular situation means.

…Which makes the gears clearly turning in Ed’s head during this moment absolutely precious and hilarious. Now he knows what’s going on. He sees that Stede’s excited to spend time with him in particular just like Saint Augustine, I mean a bunch more people will be also there this time, but still! And I’m sorry but the brief look of pure “Ed Exe has stopped working” when apparently the first thing Stede could think of was swimming is criminally underrated.

And look at that fond little smile it turns into, Ed knows full well that man has some cute little swim costume squirreled away somewhere ready to go after pulling an entire safari outfit out of his ass last episode 😂

Ok ok enough teasing Ed, back to the point.

We know Ed’s love language is physical touch. Stede’s is less talked about but I firmly believe his is quality time. Just like Ed is touch starved, Stede is shown to desperately want someone to spend time with. But that’s not just the way he receives love, it’s how he gives love too.

His way of saying I love you is to say “That’s me.” He’s the one who breaks the lock on his own bathroom door. He’ll be the one to show up at Ed’s restaurant and look at all the little Knick knacks in his gift shop on a slow day. Stede wants to be the one who’s there, who makes sure Ed doesn’t have to cry by himself, or feel silly about something he loves and put a lot of work into. He doesn’t ever want someone so deeply precious to him feeling as unwanted and isolated as he did back in Barabados.

And Ed ends up missing so many of these intentional gestures. Which isn’t a BAD thing, I just love all the little intricacies of two people with completely different love languages somehow making it work anyway. I think that’s part of why the bathtub scene felt so profoundly intimate, because their love languages work seamlessly together and they end up emotionally on the same page.

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #Edward teach #Blackbeard #Stede bonnet #love languages #Stede’s love language #ramblings #meta #analysis #my meta #1x07 #1x08 #1x06 #biceratops

[sleepymrshmllow]

im normal

#they're so #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #taika waititi #rhys darby #the hand placement and body language #i love them sm

[follows-the-bees]

I did an analysis of the meaning of Ed touching Stede's chest, hand over heart, here.

But now I wanna talk about the meaning of face touches - and Ed's outfits - across both seasons.

Bathtub Comfort

The first time Stede touches Ed's face is when Ed is seeking comfort. After he opens up about him being the Kraken, killing his dad and his plan to kill him, Stede offers a comforting shoulder squeeze and Ed deepens it by lying his head against Stede's hand. It is an intimate moment of vulnerability for both, especially Ed and he doesn't hesitate to accept it.

While Ed is wearing his Blackbeard outfit here, he is also covered in Stede's robe, like just the thought of Stede's presence can be a shield to the outside world and Ed's internal emotional struggle. And to have Stede come in and physically touch him, his face, Ed is completely comfortable in this combination of both of them, their vulnerability.

This Is Happening

In the next episode, Stede points out food in Ed's beard and when Ed can't find it, Stede asks permission to take it out. He doesn't fully reach for it until Ed gives permission (the amount of consent between these two, especially in the second season is so special to me) and leans forward (the classic Ed leans toward Stede movement that continues throughout the show.)

Ed is also not wearing his full Blackbeard outfit here, he has stripped down to just a simple purple T-shirt and pants. And we know that purple comes out as Ed's feelings for Stede deepen. So in this moment, Ed is more Ed than Blackbeard.

This is a soft, tender moment that shows the growing feelings between them. Stede's voice is as soft as his reach and touch while Ed looks at Stede so fondly, openly vulnerable.

Beach Kiss Eins

The first time Ed touches Stede's face, is during their first kiss. As soon as Stede responds, Ed moves his hand to his neck and down to his chest. And the pattern of vulnerability, closeness, and gentleness continues.

Neither of them are wearing their normal clothes here. They are wearing uniform, tan ill-fitting sacks (foreshadowing). Their first kiss is not only bare with emotional intimacy but of their identities. They aren't Blackbeard and the Gentleman Pirate during this moment, they are Ed and Stede, two men in love for probably the first time, sitting on a beach, the combination of land and sea.

Let's move to Season Two.

Cake Toppers

Oh, the cake toppers. Those damn cake toppers. They are the embodiment of the two of them to Ed, who caresses the wedding cake topper resembling Stede so much that he rubs some of the paint off. And just like every touch between the two of them so far, Ed lightly grazes the figure in a tentative but gentle way that shows he still has deep feelings for this man no matter how many raids, rhino horn, or self abusive behavior he tries to use to drown out his pain and the Kraken persona that he has put on like a sea monster lost in the deep dark depths of the sea.

Gif credit

Stede's Dream

In Stede's dream about their reunion, the two comically Monty Python (can we call them Monty Pyrates from now on?) run down the beach and full body collide against each other rolling to get on their sides, where Ed is the one to reach forward and touch Stede's face. This is Stede remembering how Ed did the same thing during their first kiss and he is recreating this moment in a fairytale fashion.

Their clothing is once again notable. Stede is wearing a more traditional pirate costume, earring, and has grown a beard. While we saw sword training last season between the two of them, Stede does not truly start wearing one until later in the second season. This is him trying to become who he thinks Ed would want, not the bumbling semi-pirate, but the confident, killing pirate with facial hair and more down-to-earth look. Ed is not only portrayed in his traditional garb but he has his old beard is back, he is the version that Stede first fell in love with. (Stede loves Ed as Ed though, no matter what he wears.)

Moonlight Serenade

Their first kiss under the moonlight is tentative and is a mirror of the moon scene in season one.

This is the first time that Stede touches Ed's face during kissing of his own volition. Even when he was trying to bring Ed back to life in episode three, he held his hand and pounded on his chest, over his heart, trying to shock it into fully beating to life.

He's been dreaming of Ed as touching his face again like the first kiss, but instead Stede is the one who moves his hand to Ed's face, and deepens the kiss. Because Stede is ready for this, and he wants to show Ed that he is here, he is committed to them. It is Ed who pulls away and asks to take it slow, because he is the one who has to heal in this scenario. This is his season, his season to heal, grow, and learn to reconcile all three sides of his being.

When Ed pulls back, Stede immediately responds, taking his hands off Ed to respect his wishes. And he only touches him again after gaining consent to hold his hand. Once again, we are treated to their gentleness, hesitancy, but the underlying love they have for each other is present in every cradle, fingers through hair, consent.

Instead of like the first season where they walk away in different directions, looking back at each other while trying to puzzle out what happened, they walk away together, toward the captain's cabin, still talking about their day and playfully playing off each other.

Once again they are not wearing their normal clothes, particularly, Ed is not wearing his Blackbeard outfit. He is wearing a light-colored onesie made from a potato sack as well as a cat bell. A bell he purposefully makes ring in an adorable shoulder shake to let Stede know that he is coming in for a kiss - unlike their first one, where he almost surprises Stede with it. We don't see it, but I bet Ed thought that maybe if he didn't surprise him, if he hadn't kissed him but kept talking, Stede wouldn't have left him. He probably blamed himself for that, so he made sure this time that Stede knew what was happening beforehand.

Calypso's Birthday

They are both physically injured from Ned Low's torture as well as in mental distress here. Stede is having flashbacks of his childhood and blood on his face because this is the first time he has purposely gotten blood on his hands. Ed is upset at seeing Stede take this step, thinking that he has corrupted him. But once again, they both consent to this, Stede does not even move forward or kiss Ed until Ed nods his head and then physically pulls Stede against him. This kiss is a combination of the first two. Ed's hand wraps around and on Stede's neck like the beach one, while Stede's hand snakes its way into Ed's hair when he deepens the kiss. This is the first and only time we see their bodies align and touch at more than just the contact of hands and lips.

Later on we see both of them in a different state of undress. Ed's hair is completely down, and he's once again in a t-shirt, stripped down emotionally and looking at Stede like he's the center of the world as the colors of their love - red and purple - surround them, until Ed looks directly at Stede and the burst of yellow - his lighthouse - shines bright. Stede is already shirtless at this part, his vulnerability bared skin-surface level.

Beach Kiss Zwei

And of course, we reach the finale, where In general the number of touches has escalated; they have chosen each other, chosen to give this a try. Ed emerges out of the ocean and all three themes (the Kraken, Blackbeard, and Ed) play all in a row, because he took what Pop-Pop said to heart and embraced all three of his identities to save and protect his loved ones.

One hand is on Stede's face almost the entire time they are reunited on the beach, and after the first kiss and apology, Ed moves both hands to Stede's face, using that leverage to pull him in for a kiss, holding onto him for dear life. He doesn't let go until Stede responds to his "I love you" reassuring Ed that he knows that, and Ed can drop his worry about Stede not knowing/hearing those words before that moment. Ed smiles and moves his hands down, and if they weren't in the middle of a battle, he would have wrapped his arms around him, pulled him in to align with his body, and kissed him again.

I particularly love this one because we can see the desperation, especially for Ed during this moment. He clearly doesn't want to stop touching Stede, only doing so out of necessity at the end. Stede is quiet, that calmness that Ed needs, just enjoying being in Ed's presence "breathing the same air."

This is the first time that they are wearing their full identities while kissing. Covered in blood, having just dropped weapons used to kill soldiers to get to each other, only to touch and kiss each other with softness and love but also desperation.

This is also the first time they openly embrace each other. All season, things have been slightly off while they take it slow, try to figure out their status together and separate. They stand apart, but still facing/bodies turned toward each other, only a few inches away. And they never touch in the presence of others, instead only kissing in the candlelight of the captain's cabin and under the moonlight. But now they are under the bright sun in front of The Pirate Queen and countless red shirts, two who were making fun of the letter Stede wrote Ed before Ed dispatched them. And Ed even reaches over later to put his hand on Stede's shoulder in front of Zheng, offering him comfort and saying yes babe, I see you, don't worry.

They kiss on the beach!! combining the sea and the land - the lighthouse, kraken, merman, flightless birds now grounded- they are the MERMEN.

Gif credits

Overall, the touches exchanged between Ed and Stede are all laced in emotion, vulnerable. And as their relationship progresses, these touches also evolve enough that by the end, kissing or touching each other's face no longer needs a pause and explicit consent because they are comfortable enough to know each other and their boundaries.

But there is something particular about the face touching between them. It shows a higher level of intimacy and romance that is at the heart of our mythical beings who have finally found each other and met in the middle, combining land and sea.

I didn't include the touches previous to the bathtub, like Ed hugging Stede after the lighthouse fuckery, or during the party, first moon scene, because I wanted to focus on the face touching primarily since it offers more depth to their relationship. I did this from memory, so I apologize if I missed any.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death s2 spoilers #stede bonnet #ofmd stede #ofmd edward teach #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ofmd ed x stede #ed x stede #ed teach #ofmd season two meta analysis #ofmd meta #meta analysis #touch is Ed's love language #i think Stede's is words of affirmation #with touch being second

[gay-baby-brig]

Crying at Ed's raised eyebrow as he's fishing for Stede to compliment his chin and double crying at his little "keep going" looks at Stede after he says "I'm not about to."

#he loves hearing stede talk about him because theres so much love in his voice #might be autistic projection on his body language but #its very ed #ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means death season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #blackbeard ofmd #ed teach #ofmd stede

[thebasementgirl]

Have you noticed that whenever Stede and Ed go through a near-death situation, their relationship takes a step forward?

When Stede was stabbed and hanged they met and became friends

When Stede was sentenced to death and almost shot to death, Ed decided that would be the day he confessed his feelings for Stede and kissed him

It was only after Ed nearly died during his coma that they were finally able to talk about actually having a relationship.

After almost losing each other after being tortured by Ned Low, they decided to sleep together for the first time

After Stede was almost killed by the British army, Ed came back to him to say he loved him

It's as if each near-death situation reminds them how important they are to each other and that they could lose each other at any moment

#maybe near-death situations is their love language #their relationship is actually quite... unique #our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #ed teach #ed x stede #gentlebeard

[mermaidlighthouse]

Ed my dude, I get that “regular breakfast” is new to you but you literally ate marmalade by the jar with your finger why did you spread it straight on the tray??? What gave you that brilliant idea????

#panic twine is my love language #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #ofmd #ed x stede #blackbeard #stede bonnet #edward teach #ed teach #the gentleman pirate

[sunnibits]

stede ‘gift giving’ bonnet vs izzy ‘acts of service’ hands, FIGHT

#stizzy #this has no real context sorry I’m just thinking ab their love languages… #stede is def a gift giving type mf #gift giving and quality time I think #izzy is obvs mega acts of service and little else #and I think ed is mostly physical touch #so ofc the conclusion I’m reaching here is that they’re all adorable dumbasses #that would have such a hard time recognizing each other’s love languages

[triflesandparsnips]

Listen, I don't want to rain on anyone's headcanons, but:

Stede uses pet names like "darling" with Mary. It's a distancing technique for him. An acceptable way to "show" affection without having to actually, like, do it.

Stede wouldn't call Ed "darling," "love," "sweetheart"... or at least, not thoughtlessly. It's important that Ed isn't Mary, isn't a woman, isn't someone he needs to have a practiced list of endearments to use because he'd otherwise forget to say anything loving at all.

Ed, for his part, called one of the posh guests on the French ship "love" -- when he was feeling cool, confident, and not Blackbeard. Endearments for him are wonderful because they're a chance to be charming and sweet, which Blackbeard most definitely isn't.

So Ed might call Stede "sweetheart" because it's not a script for him, it's not a practiced and societally acceptable way for him to show affection. It's acceptance of himself -- and love and acceptance of Stede -- every time he gives voice to these little loving words.

But Stede's loving word, his endearment of choice, his signal to Ed that he's in this with Ed and no one else? That Ed is accepted and loved for who he is and that that is precious to Stede? That word?

Is Ed.

#Stede's endearment for Ed is 'Ed' and I refuse to believe otherwise #is the tldr here #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #love languages #meta #free plot bunnies #if you write it link it #do the thing #ofmd

[prettybard]

i want disgustingly cute gentlebeard,, they can't get their hands off eachother,, not in a sexual way but in a way where neither of them have felt love like this, a love where they want to be constantly around eachother, where theyre able to just touch eachother and not get called weak for being soft around eachother,, where they find out together the things they like,, they find out what kind of touches are good and work for them,, and they just enjoy holding hands,, sitting on the other persons lap,, leaning against their person while readings stories with the crew,, when words get too hard and overwhelming they just sit there cuddling and completely tangled up together,,

anyways thinking some thoughts abt these motherfuckers this morning

#can u tell my love language is physical touch and i am projectingggg #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbonnet #gentlebeard

[biceratops7]

Man I love touch based love languages

Cause it’s so much more than just one to one romantic love, it’s also about comfort, reassurance, the way you take care of someone

Like even just very simple touches to affirm you’re still physically present, that you’ll stay by their side and do all you can to protect them. Literally the smallest shit can get a lot across.

“I’m here, I love you, don’t be scared.”

#ofmd #our flag means death #love langauges #meta #analysis #blackbonnet #Blackbeard #Edward teach #stede bonnet #1x08 #1x09 #ofmd the chain #act of grace #Ed’s love language being touch #biceratops

[lemonwcheart]

Remember this?

Fuck you ed

#please don't hurt him #guns are not a love language #edward teach #ofmd #ofmd edward teach #ofmd s2 #teaser #ofmd stede bonnet #stede bonnet #ofmd trailer #trailer #ofmd teaser

[dean-winchesters-clit]

Stede's love languages are gift giving and acts of service.

Ed's love languages are quality time and physical touch.

They are going to be so bad at romancing each other.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #our flag means death season 2 #stede bonnet #edward teach #ed teach #blackbeard #the gentleman pirate #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #love language #love languages #physical touch #quality time #acts of service ✨ #gift giving #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta

[treesofgreen]

Stede had all the power in his relationship with Mary, Stede made a unilateral decision that Mary and the kids would go live at sea, had a ship built and outfitted in secret, sprung it on Mary at the last minute, had the gall to pretend it was a gift for her, pretended to be asleep rather than talk to her, ran off in the night without a word to his little kids and people are like "Stede is such a good communicator (if you're not his wife), stede is such a good dad (if you're not his kids), stede is so sweet, stede is such a good example of healthy masculinity, you know who's toxic? Izzy."

#i'm not even getting into the source of his wealth #this is specifically in response to someone saying izzy is misogynist because he uses gendered insults #but they love stede #izzy's language choices do bother me a great deal #but stede's actions (while understandable i feel his pain and suffocation) are grossly selfish and sexist #stede made amends in the end and i love and embrace him #but the 'he's an innocent cinnamon roll' take is baseless #ofmd #stede bonnet #our flag means death

[rocketrouquine]

In other news :

« Purple rain » Taika’s go to karaoke song.

Source : https://youtu.be/MqYnM1t682U?si=O9QLTwGrzqEVvNT5

#ofmd #our flag means death #except he doesn’t talk about it #but that wasn’t the point or the promo he was here for so no big deal #plus taika with puppies #and his answer to love language : food hanging out and talking #you forgot orgasms but I let it slide #next goal wins promo #buzzfeed puppy interview #taika waititi with a cleavage worthy of stede bonnet #Youtube

[bowieandqueen11]

One thing I don’t see people talk about nearly enough is how Ed was so vulnerable and scared in the bathtub scene and yet he’s so careful and tender when he rests his head on Stede’s hand I... just the contrast between the hatred at what his hands have done, and the solace in finding kindness in a lover’s is such a beautiful motif in this wonderful show

#thank you mr waititi and mr jenkins i owe u my life #our flag means death #ofmd #edward teach #blackbeard #ed x stede #blackbonnet #taika waititi #stede bonnet #gentlebeard #edward x stede #blackbeard x stede #i also think thats why his love language is touch #just the desperation to forget himself and feel what he could have been in another #the softness of it all

[izzy-b-hands]

steddyhands modern au shortish sick fic bc me & housemate sick.

That's it baybee, comfort food fic time

---

"Ed, I'm not really good at-"

"But we're sick," Ed sniffs sadly. "Here, listen to Izzy cough!"

"Ed, what the fu-" is as much as Izzy gets out before hacking up a lung.

"Isn't Jack available?"

"Is he sick too?" Izzy scoffs, voice scraggly. "He just suggested Jack. Jack!"

"Oh fuck," Ed pops back on the line. "I didn't-"

"I'm not sick. I'll be there."

Stede ends the call before Ed can protest or cough again and starts messaging Roach.

He can do this.

--

"Oh," Stede tries to sound sympathetic. "You look so..."

"Gross?" Izzy grumbles and snuggles down into his armchair. "I know."

"No, no! I mean the drainage from the sinuses is..."

"I am literally cleaning myself as quickly as it appears," Izzy snaps. "What more can I do?"

"Right, of course."

Stede turns to Ed. "My poor thing."

"I'm a very sick silly rabbit," Ed jokes. "Seriously though, you know-"

"I'm prepared to be sick after this," Stede nods. "Mary says it'll work fine since it should time out with their vacation, so I won't have the kids for a bit anyway."

"My hero," Ed opens his arms and wraps him up in them. "Mhm. Stay here."

"I thought you two wanted soup?"

"Oh no," Ed sighs. "Hang on, let me think-"

"I'll cuddle after soup," Stede interrupts gently, and winces at the simultaneous hacking from them both. "Let's get that going, hm?"

Maybe fifteen minutes later there's instant ramen ready and two very happy men almost faceplanted in their bowls for the steam.

"Izzy," Stede chuckles and taps his chin. "Your beard."

"It's washable, believe it or not," Izzy sniffles. "I'll get to eating it; I will. I just need more of this first."

"Please don't scald yourself on the broth."

"I can make no such promises."

"I understand," Stede sighs and turns to Ed. "Same to you. Don't spill it on the couch either."

"I would swim in this if I could," is the mumbled but joyful reply.

"You mean a bath?"

"Huh. Yeah, technically. But if a bath also tasted good."

"That might be a matter of opin-"

Stede pauses at the concerned look on Ed's face. "Well. Anyway, I'm glad this is good for you both. Roach gave me other directions, as did Mary and the kids-"

"Didn't you help care for them if they got sick?" Izzy interrupts.

"I did the cheering up, finding games they could play from bed, side of things. Mary handled the medicine and food and temperature readings and whatnot. I'm not a total idiot about these things even so, it's just...been awhile," Stede replies. "Since anyone asked me to look after them like this. Trusted me with it, I guess."

"What games do you have mind?" Izzy asks, and Stede can't keep his eyes from lighting up.

--

"I know the game says to send you to jail, but you'd never make it," Izzy shakes his head. "Besides, who says we can't make our own rules for Monopoly? Everyone does an at home suspended sentence or something."

"You're not wrong," Stede chuckles. "But I will take my lumps here like everyone else."

"Says the man who somehow owns almost everything right away," Ed snorts, then coughs. "Sorry. Seriously though, I've never known anyone that was actually...good? At Monopoly?"

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"Yeah," Ed giggles. "Nah, it's a compliment. The game actually moves along if someone gets it."

"I know very well that you more than 'get' this game," Stede smirks. "You're just being kind and letting me win."

"A bit," Ed admits. "But you are still good at it. Consider it my thanks for coming over and dealing with us."

"Hardly a problem. My lack of experience was more the issue than anyth-Ed," Stede giggles. "Don't make the joke. I know what you're thinking of-"

"Nah, I can't find a good metaphor for sex as Monopoly."

"Shocking."

There's a gentle snore, and they look to Izzy.

Out again, neck crooked painfully, but napping.

"Oh," Stede murmurs and stands to wedge another pillow under Izzy's neck. "Let's get ahead of that problem before it happens."

"Why do we ever stop doing nap time?" Ed yawns. "Kids need naps; why wouldn't adults need them too?"

"We do, especially you two now. And maybe mys-"

Ed gently yanks him down on top of him. "Perfect. You can nap, and now I don't need another blanket."

"You're silly."

"That's permanent, not just the sickness."

"I know," Stede smiles. "Hang on though, one moment."

Izzy shifts and there's a clear grasp for any part of Stede.

"Oh dear."

"You're a wanted man," Ed giggles. "Oh my god wait. You have a monopoly!"

"What?"

"With us!

"I don't think that entirely makes sense."

"I know, but it's so close to making sense!"

Stede sighs softly. "Sleep. You need sleep."

"Shame we can't have you lay on both of us somehow."

He nods. "Hm. Shame. Or..."

--

He cannot move. It simply isn't happening.

Izzy is snuggled in on his right; Ed on his left, his arms around both of them in the king bed in their guestroom (used whenever Stede stayed over consistently; he usually did, but the apartment was a requirement by the court for whenever he had his days with the kids.)

It's the most comfortable he's been in days, even with the coughing and occasional sniffle while they sleep.

If he had a free hand, he'd take a picture of the moment. Both for the memory, and to send to Roach and Mary to show that yes, their advice had been perfect and look! Both patients were still alive, and then some.

#text post #long post #stedes love language here is i am not confident in my ability here but i love u so im going to Do This no matter what #instant ramen tho bc i love him but u know that's all he can cook #it's not a bad thing bc instant ramen is yummy! however kandfkgkyk #steddyhands