Warnings: Fluff, Talk of Disability, Emotional Issues,
Summary: Steve is proud to call you his wife even when life throws a curve ball and you fall sick. No matter what anyone says you are his saving grace, his beautiful Angel. He will always be happy to remind you how much you mean to him.
A/N: This is for @gotnofucks body positivity challenge. The challenge says “Pick something that may make someone self-conscious or insecure and make them feel better about themselves.” I chose my disability that I deal with every single day. Some know about it. I don’t normally discuss it much but this challenge really spoke to me. So you will see a glimpse into our lives. I read this to my husband and he legit cried. He said, “It’s like you wrote exactly what I feel about you.” He did laugh when I told him I put Steve Rogers in the husband role. LOL!
A/N 2: Italics are a flashback. Also, thank you to @pigwidgeonxo & @music-culture-mythology for beta reading this.
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 YEARS OLD.
Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. 😊💜
I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps or third party sites. If you see my work anywhere else besides my personal accounts on Tumblr, Wattpad & AO3 then it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫🚫
The warmth from the sun casts its rays across their shared bed as his wife sleeps peacefully curled up next to him. He smiles knowing that she is his little angel and he feels blessed to have her by his side.
Life hasn’t been easy for them since the diagnosis that she received. Steve had promised her the day they got the news he would be by her side every step of the way. Their journey so far has seen many hospital visits, doctor appointments, and a variety of different tests. All of them saying there is nothing they can do for her except treat the symptoms.
So every morning Steve lets her sleep knowing that her body kept her up late from the pain she was in. Exhaustion had taken over only an hour ago as she softly cried against his chest, his hand rubbing gentle circles on her back.
Steve gets up quietly like most mornings and gets himself showered and dressed. By the time his sweet angel wakes up, he's by her side. His strong hands are soft and careful as he helps her stand up. The risk of fainting is high as she goes from being in bed so long to now suddenly standing, but as she wavers Steve holds her hips tight until the feeling passes.
Steve places her walker in front of her body, her hands holding tight as she takes her first steps of the day. He follows closely behind her as she makes her way to the bathroom.
Her legs feel like jello as she walks 'pigeon-toed' as the doctor calls it to the bathroom. She can barely get her legs to move but she presses on to get her morning routine over with. Her motto is always a simple one, “get two feet on the ground and it will be a good day.” That’s what she has lived by since her body started to break down.
Once she has relieved herself, washed her hands, and brushed her teeth she heads back to the bedroom.
Steve follows again behind her until she reaches the bed. He knows her heart is beating as if she just ran a race, so he guides her to sit down so he can grab her clothes for the day. Many people have told him he should have married someone healthy, who can work and bring something to the marriage. As he slowly dresses her for the day he recalls a conversation that took place last night.
“I don’t know why you are with her. She can’t give you the life you deserve. She is a fragile doll that could break at any minute. How are you supposed to have children when you are taking care of her?” Sharon tried to plead her case but Steve cut her off.
Steve narrowed his eyes at her, his stance widening as his anger simmered to a boil. “What I deserve is to be happy and she makes me feel that every single day. She is so strong getting up every morning with a smile on her face. She doesn’t complain about what she can’t do or how much she suffers. Instead, she conquers the day like a goddess and I’m literally in awe of her. If you could live one day in her shoes I know for a fact you wouldn’t have an ounce of grace like she does.” Steve had stormed off away from Sharon and as soon as his eyes locked with his wife’s he could see the tears in her eyes. He knew that his friend hurt his wife but the tears were not from what Sharon said. Instead, his wife later confessed she couldn’t believe how he once again stood up for her against someone who was supposed to be his friend.
The fact is Steve wouldn’t change a thing about his marriage or the woman he fell in love with. Watching her every day persevering in the face of uncertainty makes him feel proud to call her his wife. Unlike other women in the past, his angel has been by his side in good and bad times. She has never judged his past, has always given him the emotional support he has always craved. Most importantly, she has loved him as no other has ever had in his past. He would go to hell and back for her if he needed to. His angel was his everything.
Gently Steve carried her from the bedroom to the couch in the living room. He places a blanket over her lap and hands his angel a book she’s been reading over the last several days. Placing a soft kiss on her forehead he makes his way into the kitchen and prepares breakfast. Once her meal is made he carries it out to the couch and puts it on the tv tray next to her.
As she eats her meal in peace Steve brings out the first of many medicines that she has to take that day, placing them on her table. Sipping his coffee he can’t help but smile as her eyes close and she hums in content from eating everything he cooked. She took her pills with the rest of her juice and looked into his blue eyes.
“What are you smiling about?” she asks.
Placing his coffee on the table next to the couch he watches her as she fidgets. “I’m smiling because of you angel. I think you are the only one who likes what I cook.”
“Well I mean it’s either eat this or starve.” She jokes as she side-eyes him.
“Why you little punk.” Steve moves quickly, gently pinning her to the couch, and starts to tickle her sides. She squeals as his fingers lightly move into her more ticklish spots. “Are you saying my cooking is bad?” He playfully mocks as she laughs harder. Steve’s legs are straddling her body, caging her in as he teases her.
“I was joking! I love your cooking. Steve-please!” She chuckles as his fingers finally stop. He knows not to push her too hard as she catches her breath.
Steve pulls her to sit up as they both smirk at one another. “Are you okay, angel?” His hands rub up and down her arms.
“Of course I am. I’m not a fragile doll despite what others think.” She looks away from him thinking of the night before.
Steve's heart feels like it could break. “Hey doll, look at me.” She hesitates a moment before looking back at him, his hand grasps hers as he kisses the back of each one. “I don’t want you to even let what that woman said last night get to you.”
“But Steve…” she tries to plead her case but he interrupts her.
“Listen, you are my wife. I fell in love with you for who you are. You, my angel, are the strongest woman that I know. You get up every day and fight battles that I could never imagine. On top of that, you never ask for sympathy and legit get mad at people when they try to pity you. You’re brave, positive, resilient, compassionate, and most of all a badass.”
Steve wipes her tears away as she chuckles. “I don’t know about badass babe.”
“Are you saying I don’t know a badass when I see one? I mean hell, Nat couldn’t even hold a candle to you and I’ve literally watched her kick ass. You’re my beautiful wife Mrs. Rogers. I don’t want anyone else in this world or, hell, the entire universe.” Steve gently cups her cheek and she nuzzles into it. “Do you remember our vows? We both said, in sickness and in health. I’m always going to be here no matter what. You’re stuck with me angel until the end of the line.”
Leaning towards him she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him into a passionate kiss. At that moment after hearing him talk all she feels is love and admiration. Every doubt she has melts away as he expunges every negative thought she has about herself. It doesn’t matter what others think or how they saw her. To Steve, she hung the moon high in the night sky and shines bright for all to see. This is true love and true love conquers all.
Summary: "Hello, Mr. perfectly fine, how's your heart after breaking mine?" - Taylor Swift (Mr. Perfectly Fine)
Warnings: angst, cursing
Word count: 3.8k
It took you a while to realize there was something wrong. Maybe you realized it sooner, but your brain decided to ignore the signs and try not to give into your anxiety, which was a first, but you were always a bit irrational when it came to Steve Rogers.
You both met a few years ago, you were friends with Dr. Banner before he became Hulk, when you were just a freshmen med student in school and he was working on his PhD. When the Avengers started getting more serious and people moved to the compound Bruce asked you to become their personal doctor and his lab assistant, they needed someone of trust and Bruce couldn’t think of anyone better than you to work alongside him and his friends.
You fell into routine pretty quickly. Nick Fury did a background check on you and already knew everything there was to know, trusting the information onto Natasha who quickly told the rest of her coworkers. And soon they were all pretty friendly towards you, making you feel welcomed and liked you belonged there.
When Bruce first offered you the job you were reluctant to accept. Although all you wanted to do was say yes, your anxiety got the best of you. What did you have to contribute to a group of superheroes? There was a God amongst them! You are just a doctor who luckily caught Bruce’s eyes and was nice enough to make him take a liking to you and consider you a friend, even after everything that happened to him.
Fortunately you ended up saying yes and there hasn’t been a day you regretted making that choice. Everything was so exciting, working with Bruce and Dr. Cho was great. Helping out at the lab abs listening to Tony Stark's ideas? Amazing! Listening to Thor ramble about his outworld experiences? One of the best stories you’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to. Traveling around the world to accompany missions and always being ready to patch any of them up? Of course!
And although you liked all of them equally and quickly found yourself considering them your friends, there was one person in particular who you liked the most and that was Steve. There was just something about him that made you want to spend the rest of eternity listening to him talk.
It didn’t take long for people to realize that you had a crush on him. It also didn’t take long for you to realize he also had a crush on you, if the pink dust of his cheeks that one time you hugged him for having got you out of the way, and saving you from broken bones in the process, when Ultron decided to make his first appearance.
Soon the both of you found yourselves in a steady relationship. You couldn’t be happier and couldn’t possibly love anyone more than you loved him.
So when Steve started pulling away a couple of weeks ago, you thought nothing of it. Maybe it was just stress. They were still trying to take down all of Hydra’s bases, but the number only seemed to increase. You knew Hydra made Steve stressed, it also made Bucky stressed and that only added to your boyfriend’s stress.
"I love you so much." Steve whispered on your ear
He had just arrived from his latest mission, you knew he liked to come straight to your apartment every time he spent too much time away from you. He'd go to the compound, debrief if it couldn't wait, take a shower and then go to you. So you thought nothing of it when you emerged from the shower and found him lying on your bed in nothing but a pair of sweatpants.
"You're back!" you exclaimed, plopping yourself on top of him
That night he held you extra closer. His arms around your waist and your back to his chest. You knew the mission must have gone wrong if he was extra clingy, but said nothing about it, you knew that when he was ready to talk he would tell you everything. After he showered you with his love and affection he deserved a good night's sleep.
But that conversation you were expecting to have never came, instead it seemed as if Steve was drifting away from you.
"Are you ok?" Bruce asked you one evening you were helping him out at the labs
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
"You just seem a bit distracted."
You knew that staying silent would only make him worry further, but also telling the truth felt very silly. The Avengers had a whole lot more important things to worry about than you being worried that Steve was drifting away.
"I just didn't sleep very well last night and now I have a migraine."
That wasn't exactly a lie. You had stayed up until late, tossing and turning in bed trying to understand what you could've possibly done wrong for Steve to have distanced himself from you.
"Oh, maybe you should take some..."
Bruce's words were cut off by a knock at the door. You turned around, meeting Sharon Carter's face, she was holding something in hand and had a small smile directed at you both.
"Hey, I just came by to drop this for analysis." She said, entering the room and giving the small plastic bag to Bruce's awaiting hands
"Hi Sharon." You gave her a thigh lipped smile "I didn't know you were in town."
"Yeah, I arrived a couple of weeks ago, working on a new case, still don't know when I'm leaving."
Suddenly things started to make more sense, but it couldn't be true, could it?
Suddenly you weren't as upset as you were before, you were angry. You felt like you could punch something real hard and it still wouldn't be enough to make your anger subside.
Everywhere you went you saw them. And the worst part? Steve didn't even tell you that Sharon was going to be here. You didn't want to play jealous girlfriend time, but you honestly thought you'd at least deserve a little heads up if your boyfriend's ex was going to be around him for who knows how long.
You caught them whispering in the kitchen, you watched them practice together, you watched them go on small missions together, watched them debrief together and even go out for coffee once. But he didn't seem to have time for you, at all. You couldn't even remember the last time he spent the night at your place, or when you last kissed for more then five seconds.
The last straw came when you walked into the lounge room and all of your friends stopped talking once they saw you. So it was true, everyone knew and no one cared for you enough to just tell you the truth.
You gave them a short nod of your head and continued your way to the kitchen to grab some coffee. By now you weren't sure if you wanted to laugh, cry, or scream. Maybe all three of them at the same time.
"Hey sweetheart." Steve greeted you once you entered the kitchen
"Hi." you replied, grabbing a mug and pouring some coffee, not daring to look at him, you weren't sure how you'd react
"Mhm, just fine."
He frowned at your short response, you could see it from the corner of your eyes, still you made no movement to turn towards him.
"You don't seem fine." He said, walking behind you and placing a gentle kiss on your temple "You want to talk about it?"
You do, but you're not about to call him out at your work. Even if you supposedly have a friendship with the rest of the Avengers and Steve is your boyfriend, you still have to be professional, because that is how you're going to have to act once this is all over. You don't have the luxury of breaking up with him and then never having to see him ever again.
Steve grabbed ahold of your chin, turning your head around to look at him. He was still frowning.
"You'd tell me if there was something wrong, right?" There was a small undertone of anxiety on his voice
So that was it, he was afraid you caught up onto him.
"I suppose." you said in a small tone "We'll talk later, maybe you can stop by at my place if you're not busy."
At that he smiled, and for a small fraction of time you felt as if everything was going to be alright. Then it was gone.
"Of course I will. Tonight is friday, did you forget we always have dinner together and watch movies?"
"Right." you sighted
When you went home later that night all you could think about was how your relationship is going to be over by the end of the night. It didn't matter that you loved Steve so much, you would not be second to best to him, you will not allow him to toy you around while he is with Sharon too. It's either her or you, and apparently he already made his choice.
You were sitting on the couch when he opened and closed the door of your apartment behind. He was holding a bag of food from your favorite restaurant, trying to get on your good side now is not going to work.
"Hey sweetheart." He smiled, pressing a kiss to your temple and placing the bag on top of the coffee table "I picked up that sushi you like so much."
"Thank you." You smiled
You took a moment to look at him. His blonde hair pushed back, that thigh button down shirt he loves to wear that makes his biceps look huge, his sparking blue eyes that used to look at you with so much love and adoration, and that soft smile that used to be reserved to you. You took this moment to actually look at him like a hopeless lovesick person for the last time.
"So should we e..."
"We need to talk." You cut him off
Steve nodded, taking a sit beside you on the couch, grabbing your hands and squeezing it.
"What's going on, sweetheart?"
He looked preoccupied. You wanted to scoff, as if he actually cared about what was going on.
"Why?" you asked, voice so small that if he wasn't a super soldier and you didn't know he has a great hearing you'd be afraid he wouldn't have been able to listen to you
He frowned "Why what?"
You took a deep breath, it was now or never.
"Why did you do it? Am I… Am I not enough for you?"
Steve was silent for a moment, lips forming a thin line.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Please, talk to me. What is going on?"
Now you were angry. How dare he act like he is a clueless fool?
"Why did you cheat on me?" you yelled, ripping your hands away from him "Do you think I'm dumb? That I wouldn't realize that you're cheating on me with Sharon? Really, your ex-girlfriend of all people? The same person you swore you were never actually in love with and totally over her when you asked me out for the first time?"
He called his name softly, but you didn't give a chance to finish whatever sentence he was about to start. Now that you started yelling at him you weren't sure if you will be able to stop until you get everything off your chest.
"You distanced yourself from me, you don't touch me like you used to, and you stopped spending time with me because you're always spending time with her! You think I don't see you two always out together and whispering between each other?! And-And the team! Oh, you think I haven't realized that most of the time that they're reunited together at the lounge whenever I walk in they drop the conversation? That's because I am the conversation! They're talking about how stupid I must be to be with you while you're cheating on me with Sharon!"
By this point you were off the couch and pacing around the living room. Steve was still sitting on the couch, staring at you with a blank face.
You wiped some tears off your face.
"I thought I'd at least deserve to be broken up with instead of cheating on." You said in a lower tone now, shoulders dropping "I thought I at least meant enough for you to break up with me before getting together with her. I should've known better. You will always want a Carter."
He said your name again, standing up and trying to reach you, but you held out your hands to keep him away.
"Let me..." He cleared his throat "Let me explain, please."
You shook your head, a bitter smile on your face.
"There's literally nothing you could say right now that will change what you did, Steve." You sobbed, pushing some hair away from your face to keep your hands occupied "You should go. I'll get whatever you have here and leave at the compound."
"Please." He pleaded, taking another step towards you as you took one back "Please, just listen to me."
"No. I think you already broke my heart enough."
You two stared at each other in silence. Your heart was beating so fast you were sure he could listen, and also listen to its cracking.
This is the last time you two will stand together in your place. A place where you used to sit together, cuddled on the couch and talk about the future, like we had a clue. Talking about marriage, and how many kids you'd have together, where'd you live to raise your little happy family. Now you feel like throwing up just thinking about it.
After what felt like an eternity Steve finally nodded. He raised a hand as if was going to touch you, but decided against it, dropping it back to his side.
You turned your head away, partly because you didn't want him to watch you cry over him anymore and partly because you couldn't bear to watch walk out the door.
When you finally heard the clicking sound indicating that he was gone, actually gone, you broke down sobbing and collapsing on the floor.
Steve was so perfect from the moment you met. He was a gentleman, always making sure you were ok and always checking on you whenever you had to travel with them to ensure their health. That's what made you fall in love with you, the little things he did to you, always making sure you weren't alone, or that you were eating properly, or that no enemy would ever know you were there.
He was literally the man you have been waiting for all your life. Sweet. Caring. Loving. Perfect. And he promised you to always be by your side. All the promised that you made together, did it mean nothing to him?
Why did you do so wrong?
But that's when you realized that if he couldn't have Peggy Carter he would have her relative Sharon, it was the second best thing. You weren't even ever an option to him. You were just keeping him distracted until he could have a Carter in his arms again.
One of the worst parts of all of this was how Steve seemed normal after what happened on Friday. It's like he didn't go thought a breakup of his four year relationship, which made you guess that you really didn't mean anything to him at all.
Over the course of the weekend you went trough a lot of crying phases. You kept asking yourself why you weren't enough for him, if maybe he fell out of love with you and didn't know how to break up with you so he was nice enough to keep dating you while dating someone else - that was quickly discarded after a phone call to your sister who said and you quote "I can't believe that after that fucking asshole cheated on you for god knows how long and didn't even have the guts to tell you himself, you are still trying to find an excuse for his behavior."
That seemed to put a lot of perspective into your feelings because the next thing you know you were burning a picture of the two of you together that you had in a frame in your living room. After seeing the picture gone it made you cry harder because you were going to miss looking at the picture, it was taken on your one year anniversary, you two had a picnic on top of a very tall building that had an amazing view of New York, courtesy of Tony, and Steve told you he loved you for the first time. It is, was, one of the best memories you have with how, now it is clouded by the doubt of if he really meant what he said.
Then, after burning the picture, having a mental break down because of it, you decided you should eat your feelings. You ordered your favorite food from a small dinner around your block and hoped that would make you feel a bit better while you tried to distract yourself by watching Modern Family, it didn't work very much.
Sunday. On Sunday you spent most day on bed, you replied a few texts from your sister asking how you were doing, but you didn't really feel like talking at the moment. So you stayed in bed, AirPods on and Taylor Swift playing on repeat.
And unfortunately Monday came around. You weren't ready to face him at work and you haven't even separated his stuff like you said you would, that would make him think that you still wanted him around. You couldn't bring yourself to get rid of his sweatshirts, or his toothbrush or all of the other stuff he had at your place. That would only mean it was really over.
You didn't see him on the first three days and you were thankful for it. You still cried yourself to sleep every night, whining he was there to hold you in his arms and kiss your tears away, and this thoughts only made everything more painful because how fucked up can it be that you want the person that hurt you to comfort you?
But not seeing him didn't mean that you didn't hear people talking about him, and you knew it was only a matter of time before someone brought it up.
"Today is Barton's day of cooking and I know you love his carbonara. Are you having lunch with us today?" Bruce asked you while putting his coat away and getting ready to leave for lunch
"Uh, no, I'm not." You replied back, not daring to look him in the eye because you know he is giving you his worried glance, he's been doing it all week
"You haven't been around much lately. Did something happen?"
On top of having broken up with Steve, you realized that most people on the team probably knew about him and Sharon and that made you angry. You thought they were your friends as all, but you guess you were wrong. So you not only didn't want to see him, you also didn't want to see them. So for the past week you have been bringing your own coffee from home so you don't have to go the kitchen get some, and also you've been going out for lunch like everyone else that works here does.
Bruce called your name, gently touching your arm to get you to look at him.
"Is everything ok?" He questioned, voice low and soft "You know you can talk to me. We are friends besides colleagues."
You took a deep breath.
"Steve and I broke up."
He widened his eyes.
"What? H-how, what happened?"
He genuinely seemed shocked and confused by your news which somehow only twisted the knife deeper in your heart. So Steve didn't even tell his friends what happened. God, how stupid could you be?
"He was cheating on me with Sharon." Was all you said, but after a few moments you added "Did you know?"
"Of course not!" He exclaimed "If I did I would have already told you. I can't believe he would do something like that!"
"Yeah, me neither. Jokes on me, I guess."
Before the conversation could get any deeper you grabbed your coat, purse and left. Bruce was nice enough to realize that this was your way of saying you didn't want to talk about it anymore and didn't go after you.
But of course luck wasn't on your side and the moment you entered the elevator you saw him.
Steve was dressed like he normally did, a button down, black dress pants, and his hair was styled that way you liked, it made you want to comb your hands trough it while you placed kisses on his beautiful face.
You didn't dare to look at him, keeping to your side of the elevator, but you could feel his eyes on you.
"You're going out for lunch?" He asked after clearing his throat to gather your attention
He hummed "You're going alone?"
That you look at him, like really look at him. And he looked normal. Like nothing out of the ordinary was happening. He kept his hands on his pockets, his eyes were as blue as ever, there was no redness or puffiness around his face indicating he had been crying and he even had the audacity to smile that you.
"I don't see how that's any of your business."
You both didn't say anything else until the elevator doors opened on the first floor. You walked out together, but instead of immediately linking hands and arguing about what you wanted to eat for lunch, you both started going separate ways.
Before you could get too far he called out your name. You turned around, staring at him and then shifting your line of sight to the car he was standing in front of, you could clearly make out Sharon's blonde hair from where you stood.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I really am."
But you knew he didn't meant it because he got into the car with her and leaned over the console. You turned around before you could see anything else. You weren't willing to torture yourself further, there is only so much your heart can take.
So instead you decided to walk away, with tears rolling down your face, you walked away from Steve Rogers and cursed him for being so perfectly fine without you.
This story as well as this blog is 18+ so no minors are to interact. Minors who do interact will immediately be blocked.
This work is not to be copied, translated or reposted on any other site.
Pairings; King!Steve Rogers X Black Female Reader
Note; Just want to credit @donutloverxo and @lizzygal as The series ‘A Royal Scandal’ really inspired me to write this and if you haven’t already, you should check it out. Also this is my first story so please go easy on me 😅
Pairings; King!Steve Rogers X Black Female Reader
Summary; King!Steve and y/n have been together for a while and have been going strong although they have kept it been keeping their love a secret. However, the Queen mother finds out about their relationship and decides to break them apart.
Warnings; smut, degradation, fluff, angst, unprotected intercourse (don’t forget to wrap it guys), possessive, dominant behavior, Mean Steve, swearing, I think that’s it?
You let out a yawn as you slowly arose from your slumber completely oblivious to your surroundings. Your deep e/c eyes were uncovered as your lashes fluttered. Your plump lips turned in a cute pout as your face contorted with exhaustion despite just waking up.
However, the exhaustion was pretty justified considering the many rounds you and Steve had gone through last night. Despite his cool and polite demeanor that he often demonstrated to the public, behind the scenes he was a dominant and insatiable man which he always showed between the sheets.
And last night was proof of it.
Nonetheless, regardless of his continuous chase for pleasure he never neglected to satisfy your own wanton needs as he dragged orgasm out of orgasm from you so many times that by the end of the night, you were a blubbering mess.
“ohhh f-fuck, please don’t stop” you spluttered out as Steve pushed your back down further so that your ass was up and your head lay down in the royal pillows. Your knees began to tremble as his member stroked your g spot repeatedly bringing you closer to that orgasm you were so desperately chasing.
“Angel”, he moaned deeply, “You look so perfect getting drunk off my cock”
Steve could easily say that watching you like this was one of his favorite things which is why he would often find himself balls deep your slick heat watching you slowly become undone by his relentless thrusts into you.
“Steve, I-I’m so close, ugh please!” You moaned as your heat clenched around his rigid member knowing full well that if he continued his movements you would come undone, yet again.
“Don’t you dare cum now.” He forcefully grit out. You felt so tight around him, he knew he wouldn’t last long. “Com’n baby you gotta hold it for me, be a good girl and hold it.”
You could barely register his words, gasping at how deep he was pounding into, the delicious sensation was was just too good.
“Are you a good girl? Only good girls get to cum. Do you wanna come for me?” he said as he slapped your perky ass you making you moan even more.
“Oooh, ye-yes i’m a good girl, please let me cum!”
“Huh, then you can cum my love.”
You felt yourself climbing your high as Steve leaned down and wrapped his left arm around your waist. His right hand toyed with your clit whilst he pounded into you harder than ever, making your mouth drop open in pleasure.
“Cum for me baby, yeah that’s it. Look at you cumming as I fuck you stupid.”
He was right, you couldn’t even give a coherent response as you finally let go.
Steve was still relentlessly fucking you before he came inside of you, letting his cum spill into you.
“Fuck I love you angel, always making me feel good.” he gushed with a lazy smile before turning you head to press a sweet kiss on your lips
You let out a dreamy sigh before responding with, “I love you too Stevie.”
“mmhh, good morning doll.” Steve said as he peppered multiple kisses on your face before he slowly laid his lips upon yours giving you a long, deep and loving kiss. His voice was deep and guttural from only just waking up and all you could think about was how hot he was without even trying.
You let out a little giggle in response to his antics before responding back to him with, “Good morning Stevie.”
“I still cant believe your here with me.” Steve had been trying to convince to come to his suite in the palace which you had always been against doing so. You were a student in university trying to make ends meet working as a waitress which sometimes made you feel inadequate when spending time with Steve. It wasn’t that you felt ashamed by your current occupation as you did enjoy the job for the most part and it was only temporary. You just sometimes felt out of place when you thought about your position in his life.
Steve was a king. And as much as you loved him, you would sometimes find yourself often questioning your worth when it came to him. He exuded power and confidence whilst you weren’t exactly the type that enjoyed to stand out in the crowd. It was little things like this which would sometimes make you question the validity of your relationship with him but when you would look into his deep blue eyes you could see the love and respect he had for you.
“I can’t believe it either, it’s so big.” You said with wonder as you let your eyes roam along the premise of his room. “I swear my entire apartment could fit in this suit!”
Steve let out a chuckle whilst he stared imminently at you still taking in all your features still wondering how he was so lucky to find you. He couldn’t wait for the day he could make you his queen. The day you would walk down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. Having the first dance with you at the wedding reception with not only friends and family watching but the entire country as well. That was what he wanted but he knew that you wanted to get your degree so he waited and tolerated having to keep the love you two shared a secret. Despite how much he hated it.
You were too good to be a secret. He wanted to share your love with the world. Show you off. Make all your wishes come true and spoil you even more. However, he knew what you wanted and had to put you and your needs first.
“What are you about thinking baby?” You softly spoke, breaking Steve out of his thoughts.
“Just thinking about all the ways I’m gonna spoil you, make you happy.”
You rolled your eyes at this. Steve loved trying to spoil you. Key word; try. You always felt bad when he would buy you designer bags, jewelry, clothes and other gifts. You didn't want you relationship to be a transnational one and you didn't want him to think that was what you wanted from him. You also knew that you could never buy him gifts of the same caliber which made you feel guilty whenever he bought you things.
“Nooo, Stevie”, You groaned as his strong arms pulled you closer to his hard chest snuggling you as he kissed your forehead.
It was moments like these that you treasured. Just being held by him. It made you feel safe and protected. Like nothing could ever hurt you. Because you had Steve.
Princess Veronica sat peacefully outside in the gardens with a glass of orange juice in one hand and freshly baked croissant in the other. This was where she would often be found early in the morning. Having breakfast whilst simultaneously getting space from the overbearing Queen Mother who also happened to be her mother.
Queen Regina, The Queen Mother had a reputation in the royal palace as a cold and frankly stuck up woman who always thought she was right and would do anything to uphold integrity in the royal household. Regina had recently discovered the little affair that her son was partaking in and was not impressed to say the least. Over the past couple of weeks since she found out, she had been slowly yet surely bubbling with rage as she seethed at her son’s decision in a so called “partner”. However that rage had and finally been put at boiling points when she over heard some maids in the corridor discussing how the king had bought a girl into his bedchambers.
She was positively seething upon hearing this news and had come to the decision that this needed to end. She had allowed this to happen for too long.
Enough was enough.
“Good morning darling!” Regina cried out as she approached the young princess, gears in her mind ticking with schemes.
“Oh.. good morning mother” replied Veronica halfheartedly. She loved her mother but she knew visits from her at times like these would typically not end well and from the little smirk on Regina’s face it was clear that this instance would be no different.
“Veronica darling, there is a matter of importance that we need to discuss that concerns your dear brother”
Veronica absolutely adored her brother Steve. He was her big brother who spent their childhood always protecting her and offering guidance even when he was crowned king if not more so. She would do anything for him and valued his happiness and safety more than everything. Regina knew this.
“Alright then, what is going on mother?”
“Oh Steve...” She sighed, “A couple of weeks ago I discovered that your brother has been seeing this girl for quite sometime and seems to be very enamored by her.”
“Really? That is great! Although I cannot believe Steve kept this from me! I need to speak to his about this.”
Just as veronica stood up about to leave to find her brother the queen mother took her arm in a vice like grip and pulled her down right away.
“Great news? Are you serious!” She cried incredulously. “Veronica let me explain and I need you to listen very carefully to what I have to say, alright?”
When the princess gave her a curt nod she continued. “This girl, y/n, she cannot be trusted, cannot be with Steve and cannot worm her way into this prestigious family. Our Dynasty.”
“Well Why not mother?”
“Once I had my people look into y/n I found out that she is still in another relationship with another man. Horrified I went to investigate myself and followed her whilst she met up with her Beau. What I heard next just broke my heart for Steve! They were making plans to extort him for money, blackmail him and get information they can sell to the media as he continues to fall in love with her.”
Veronica’s dainty hands quickly covered her mouth in shock as she took in the information that her mother had given. Her heart broke for Steve upon hearing that he was being used by someone he apparently loved.
“Wha-what can we do then. Surely we must tell Steve?”
The queen mother had to force a frown to hide the smirk that began to form upon her lips, once realizing that her daughter had fallen into her little trap.
Everything Regina had just said was entirely false. You didn’t have another relationship, you had no bad intentions and had absolutely no plans to extort money from Steve, which she knew. And that was a problem. So in order to get Veronica onside she needed to improvise.
“No, I fear that Steve is so far in that telling him would not be enough. We need to show him. In fact have a plan but it will only work if you do everything that I say..”
You let out an exhausted sigh as you practically collapse onto the couch, limbs aching as you feel your body become anchored to the plush cushions. You were so happy to finally be back home in your apartment. It was a very busy day at the cafe and you were doing the closing shift which you absolutely hated. All you wanted to do was relax and go to sleep especially since you had lectures in the morning the next day.
“Ugghhh..” you groaned as you heaved your limp form towards the door, unimpressed for being interrupted whilst trying to relax.
As you opened the door your frustration almost instantly melted way as the blue eyes you loved so much stared right into yours. “Stevie!” You cried in both joy and confusion, “What are you doing here? You didn’t call?”
“Can I come in? We need to talk y/n.”
From the solemn tone of his voice and the pissed off look on his face you could tell that something was very off indeed. As you opened the door wider and he swiftly walked in you knew instantly that this “talk” would most likely have bad repercussions for the both of you. This gave you anxiety and left a sick feeling in your stomach.
“Stevie, what’s going on? What do you want to talk abo-”
“I need to look in your bag.” He said curtly.
You recoiled back, flabbergasted by his demeanor. The way he just cut off you left you with a feeling of hurt. He was being so cold towards you and you just could not understand why.
“My bag?” you questioned incredulously, “Why do you need my bag Steven?”
His nostrils flared with irritation at both your use of his full name and the fact that you wouldn’t just give him your bag when he had just asked you to. Steve hated having to repeat himself, however, with you he didn’t care if he had to say things a million times, he loved you so much, there were always exceptions for you. However that was not the case for today.
“Y/n, you know I do not like to repeat myself. Give. Me. Your. Bag.”
“Not until you answer why you want it so badly!” You huffed as you crossed your aching arms across your chest. The way he was using your actual name was not going unnoticed by you and you knew full well he was doing it on purpose. He wanted you to know that right now you weren’t his “love”, “doll” or “angel”. You hated this.
“Do you have something to hide y/n?” His eyebrows furrowed as he stared so intently at you. “Are you lying about something? I mean you do have a history of doing so, right?”
Your eyes widened at the little dig he took towards you. You had been honest with him from the beginning of your relationship and trusted him so much that you informed him with your past. You were not proud of your past actions and always felt remorseful of them which he knew. He also knew how hard you had and continued to work on yourself to be a better person. He knew. So the fact that he was going to try and use it against you royally pissed you off.
You angrily scoffed as you went over to the side of your couch, grabbed your bag and handed it over to him. “Here, since you wanted it so badly!”
Steve gripped your bag as he began to rummage through it. He knew he had really hurt you when took that dig at you and saw the sadness in your eyes. He desperately wanted to take it back but then remembered why he was there and his anger quickly returned tenfold. He needed to make sure that his sister was wrong in her assumptions about you and that you weren’t using him. The thought that your love was not real hurt his core so much that he would feel a wave of anxiety consume him when thinking about it. He need to make sure you weren’t guilty. That he was right about you.
As he continued to search a little glimmer of hope began to rise as he started to realise that it was not there. That was until something caught his attention out the corner of his eye. His quick movements when looking in the bag halted as he walked over to the stack of drawers in the corner of the living room. Hastily he made his way over there to check it out and his heart dropped when he saw that you indeed had what he was looking for.
Meanwhile, you still stood stunned and confused by the whole ordeal. So far you had to close up the cafe and come home later than you would have liked to, your boyfriend barges in ruining your relaxation, then demands to look at your bag before berating you and then rummaging around in it like a squirrel looking for buried nuts. And now he was over by the drawers looking at some object you definitely haven’t seen before much less remember placing it there.
“Steve can you please just tell me what the fuck is going on here!”
He slowly turns his head around so you could see his face. There were tears pooling in his eyes and his face was a storm of anger and hurt.
Concerned, you walked over and placed your hand on his cheek attempting to soothe him before he roughly shoved you away from him his face now only showing rage.
“The hell- ?”
“Don’t you dare touch me ever again.” Steve lowly spat out whilst glaring at with so much hatred you wanted to curl up into a ball, still not understanding the situation.
“What did I ever do to you other than love and care for you? I would’ve done anything and everything for you. Hell, I would’ve even given up all of this, the crown, the money, my duty - everything! Just for you to use me for some cash grab, are you really that desperate for money? Are you really that pathetic?”
“No! Don’t call me that. You have no right to call me that.” He gritted out, “It is your majesty to you. Don’t you forget your position. Only worthy people can call me by. My. Name.”
At this point tears were pooling down your face as you felt your heart drop and shatter into pieces listening to the love of your life continue to berate you, digging and digging at you.
“Ha, tears?”, he sarcastically chuckled, “What’s wrong y/n, did you think I would never find out the truth. I mean how stupid could I be to fall for this. I’m supposed to be a king, I have been a king for nineteen years just for me to fall prey to some whore’s tricks. I mean when you look at it from that point of view I guess I’m the pathetic one.”
“I-i don’t understand. W-where is this c-coming from?” You shakily stuttered tumbling over your words just from how distraught you were. How did you two get to this point? To the point when you were no longer his angel but now the whore who seemingly ruined his life.
“Wow. So is this what we’re going to do now? Play dumb? Fuck this, I’m done. I hope you enjoyed this little game while it lasted, because trust me, you will never get the opportunity to treat me like a fool ever again. Goodbye y/n.” His voice was calm as he said these words yet you could feel both the anger and pain rolling off him as he threw your bag down onto the sofa before walking out your apartment.
You silently shook as you felt the devastation take over as tears uncontrollable poured down your face before falling onto the sofa completely unnerved by the events that just took place. You had never loved anyone the way you loved Steve. You trusted him with your life and would do anything for him. Correction - would have.
Prompt: Pre-serum Steve rogers you say? Honestly, I'd kill for a pre-serum soulmate au. Or just anything pre-serum cause honestly there is not enough of them.
Note: I AGREE. Something about that What-If episode set me off and I am once again reminded of my love for him (And just Steve in general). This fic will be a little with Pre-Serum Steve and a little with supersoldier Steve. There’s also some time-travel shenanigans because when is there not something like that in the fics I write lol. Takes place in an AU where everyone is happy (and alive) and lives at the Compound together.
Warnings: A little language and mention of alcohol but other than that, none?
Word Count: 4k
Reader is: Female (but I would be willing to re-edit it for male/gender neutral reader if there’s demand).
As your twenty-fifth birthday approached, you were excited, of course you were, but you were also insanely nervous to meet the person the universe decided was the one for you.
It was the day before your birthday. You woke up at the time you usually did and laid for a while, staring up at the ceiling. Inhaling a deep breath, you sat up and looked down at your forearm, where, tomorrow, there would be a name written there in black ink, just like every other person on the planet.
Someone knocked on your door.
“I’m awake.” You called back.
“Can I come in?” It was Steve.
You’d been living at the Avengers Compound for the past year and so far, you loved it. Your life as an Avenger was many things, but it was never boring. Your powers made you a valuable asset to the team, and since you’d moved in, everyone had been super nice to you, but Steve, Mr. Captain Rogers himself, had been especially kind and sweet, making sure you had everything you needed.
“Yeah, it’s unlocked.”
The door opened and Steve peeked in, a hesitant look on his face. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah, I just woke up.” You chuckled, your voice still thick with sleep. “You need something?”
“Oh! No. I just. Today’s your birthday, right?”
He looked relieved at that, like you had just taken a million pounds off of his shoulders. “Oh, okay. Cool.”
“What, did you forget to get me a present?” You laughed, reaching to your nightstand for your dream journal.
“Nope.” He grinned. “I think you’re going to like it a lot, actually.”
“I look forward to it, Cap.” You saluted and his eyes softened. “Do we have training today?”
“No. Figured we could all use a day off.” There was something hiding in his gaze that you didn’t quite catch, couldn’t quite identify. It was like he knew something you didn’t. “You have any plans?”
“Nope.” You opened the cover of your journal and started scribbling down what you remembered of your dreams.
“You journal?” Steve asked, curious.
“Yeah, I like to write my dreams down.” You replied, smiling softly. “Most of them are weird, but I think some of them would make great books. You know, Twilight was inspired by a dream.”
“And Twilight is…?”
“Oh, right.” You chuckled, shaking your head. “Vampire movie from about 2008. It’s based on a series of books. They’re pretty bad, admittedly, but it was a huge thing in pop culture for a good while.”
“Should I add it to my list?”
“If you really want to. But I feel like you’d probably like the Hunger Games more.”
“Hmm, good to know. Thanks.”
“Yeah, of course.” You smiled, looking back up at him.
You had to admit it, Steve was pretty darn handsome. That strong jawline, the muscles, the pretty blue eyes. You heard it everywhere. Steve was the heartthrob of the country. Every woman wanted him, but that didn’t change the fact that you were pretty sure his soulmate was long gone by now. Whoever they were, they had probably been from his time. It was sad. Someone as nice as him deserved to be happy, to have time with the person the universe had set aside for him, and yet, here he was without them, a thick black band around his arm to cover up their name.
“(Y/N)?” He asked, snapping you from your thoughts.
“If you need anything today, let me know, alright?” He smiled softly before adding, “It is almost your birthday, after all.”
You smiled back. “Will do.”
You’d ended up spending the day with Natasha and Wanda at the mall, shopping around without any real rhyme or reason. Wanda was very excited to find out who your soulmate was and they were both very supportive of you, especially given how nervous you were about the situation.
And once you were done getting some new clothes (with Tony’s credit card, of course), you all went back to the Compound. You unpacked your new things, and then got dressed in your pajamas. It was late, and you were exhausted. The longer you stayed up, the longer you delayed the inevitable reveal, and thinking about it too much made you nervous, so you just decided to get to sleep sooner than later.
It was once you were just about to climb into bed that there was another knock at your door.
“It’s open!” You called, and in came Steve for the second time of the day. “Oh, hey.”
“Hi.” He chuckled. He seemed nervous, although you weren’t sure why.
“Everything alright, Steve?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I actually came in here to check on you. Wanda said you were…worried.”
“Not worried, exactly, just a bit nervous, I guess.” You hugged your arms around your frame and bit your lip, looking up at the super soldier standing in front of you. “I don’t know what to expect and that intimidates me.”
“Mmm.” He hummed, nodding. “That’s probably the most intimidating part. But it’s all uphill from here, I promise.” His eyes sparkled when he said it. Steve didn’t talk about his soulmate much, but from the look on his face alone, you could tell he had been deeply in love with them.
“Well, whoever they are, they’re a lucky, lucky duck. You don’t need to worry about anything. It’ll all work out.” He said it like he was certain. Like somehow he knew what would happen in the morning when suddenly your life was turned on its head and you had to venture out to find your other half.
“And if they don’t like me…?”
He scoffed. “That’s impossible. They’re going to love you. So much. I promise.”
You looked up at him for a long moment before taking a step forward and wrapping your arms around him. He didn’t hesitate to embrace you, a hand raising to gently stroke your head. He exhaled a long breath, like he’d been holding it in for a long, long time.
“Thank you. I really needed that.” You said softly, relishing in the warmth of the hug.
“Of course.” He pulled away and looked down at you, that knowing sparkle in his eye once more. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.” You agreed.
“And happy birthday, (Y/N).”
“Ma’am? Are you alright? Ma’am?” The voice sounded far away. You were pretty sure you were still dreaming. Whoever they were, they sounded close. You opened your eyes slowly and immediately became aware of the pounding pain in your head.
“Ow, oh my God.” You reached up and felt there, but it didn’t feel like you were bleeding or anything.
You froze for a second, slowly looking up at the figure standing above you, confusion written all over his familiar features. It took you a long moment to put the pieces together. You were on a porch somewhere in what appeared to be New York, but it was…different. A lot different than the parts of the city you knew. Alright, it had to be a dream.
You looked up at the man standing above you and did a double-take. But no, it was him. It was a tiny, skinny version of Steve. Your eyebrows furrowed and you sat up slowly, staring at him before saying softly, “Steve?”
His mouth opened and then shut again and he made a face of confusion, like he was trying to place where he knew you from, but he didn’t know you yet, and wouldn’t know you for several more years, to say the least. “Do I know you?”
“It’s complicated.” You exhaled. “Can we go inside? You’re going to need to sit down for this.”
Dumbfounded, Steve nodded and you stood up from the porch, only to find that he was at your eye level when you did. Weird. He led you into the small apartment and you looked around. It was quaint. There was an easel in the corner of the room and…Bucky Barnes sitting on the couch? You stared at him for a good, long moment, a shiver running down your spine.
“Who’s the dame?”
“About to find that out myself.” He chuckled, leading you into the living room. “Buck, could you give us a minute?”
“I’ll be in the kitchen.” Bucky got up and walked to the other half of their tiny one-bedroom.
You sat down on the couch and so did he. The silence was thick. You thought for several moments. You weren’t quite sure how you had ended up in the 1940s, nor why and you had no idea how to find either of those answers. You looked down at your hands and it was then that your gaze finally landed on the writing on your wrist. And then everything made sense.
“What’s the date today?”
“It’s July 4th, why?”
“Well, happy birthday, first of all. And second of all,” you held up your wrist so he could read it. Steve’s eyes went wide and he stared at the three words written neatly on your skin in his own handwriting.
Steven Grant Rogers.
“You’re my…” He looked at you for a long time, his eyes wide. He hastily undid the cuff around his wrist and held it out to you, your own name written there.
“I’m your soulmate.” You said certainly. It hit you like a truck, then. The weird look on your Steve’s face, the way he was so certain that everything would work out. It was because he had already lived through this. And that meant that in all the time he’d known you, he’d been hiding his mark not because his soulmate had died, but instead because you were his soulmate and you didn’t know it yet.
Steve exhaled a long breath, really taking you in. Once again, he had a million stars in his eyes. He let out a whispered, “Wow,” as tears began to form.
“Yeah, I’m just overwhelmed.” He chuckled, sniffling as a tear ran down his cheek. “I’ve just, I’ve got a lot of health problems, so I wasn’t sure if I’d ever…meet you. And you’re here and you’re great and I just…”
That brought tears to your eyes. “Oh, Steve…” You pulled him into your arms and he didn’t hesitate to surrender to your embrace, his arms wrapping tight around you and holding you close.
“I have to ask, though…How did you know?”
“I don’t know if you can tell from these clothes,” you motioned down to the t-shirt and sweatpants you were wearing, “but I’m not from around here, exactly.”
“I kind of thought so, but I didn’t want to be rude.” He smiled softly.
“I’m from a really long time in the future. It’s hard to explain why or how, and I’m not really sure how I got here, to be honest, but I’m glad I am.” You sighed. “I just don’t know how to get home.”
“Am I there? Where you’re from?”
“You are. It’s complicated. We’re really good friends and…when I get back, I’m sure we’ll probably be even more than that.” You smiled, shaking your head. “I can’t believe I didn’t put the pieces together sooner.”
“(Y-Y/N)?” Steve asked.
“Let me take you out today. Show you a good time here before you have to go back.” He took your hand and carefully laced his fingers through your own.
You smiled. “I’d like that.”
“Not to eavesdrop, lovebirds — congratulations, by the way — but if you’re going to take her out, we’re going to need to find her some clothes that aren’t so…‘not from around here.’” Bucky leaned in the doorway.
“Yeah, I thought the same thing.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll call one of my girls and we’ll get her squared away. Sit tight.”
“Thanks, Bucky.” You said, chuckling when his eyes widened after you addressed him. “I know you, too. From the, uh, future.”
“Weird…” Bucky decided.
“Long story?” Steve asked, studying the look on your face.
“Very.” You agreed. After staring at him for another long moment, you pulled him back into your arms again, exhaling a long breath before whispering, “I’m so glad it’s you…”
“Wow.” You stared at yourself in the mirror, studying the way Bucky’s, ahem, lady friend, had curled your hair, done your makeup. You did a little twirl and relished in the way the skirt of your dress twirled. “I think it suits me.”
“I agree. Blue is a good color on you.” Steve was sitting in a chair at the edge of the room. “Although, I’m sure they’re all good colors on you, doll.”
You felt the heat rise to your cheeks. “Thanks.”
“I mean it.” He stood up and walked to you, slipping one of his hands into each of yours and staring into your eyes. “You look great.”
“But do I look believable?”
“No one is gonna think you’re a time traveler. Well, unless you tell them.” Bucky said. “Maybe don’t do that anymore.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t planning to.” You chuckled and gave Steve’s hands a squeeze. “Where to first, soulmate?”
His cheeks reddened as soon as you said the word. “Well, I was thinking we could go to my favorite little diner down the street to grab something for lunch, and then maybe we could take a walk through the park, catch a movie, and then go out for drinks tonight?”
“What, you aren’t gonna take her dancing?” Bucky teased, ruffling Steve’s hair under a large hand. “Show the girl a good time?”
“I would if I didn’t have two left feet.” Steve chuckled, a sheepish smile on his face. He looked at you, waiting for some kind of response. “How does that sound?”
“It sounds like a great time, Steve.”
He smiled. “Good.”
The two of you left the apartment not long after that, and walked side by side towards the diner. Your hands were swinging in the space between you and your hand brushed Steve’s once, twice, a third time, and then you slipped your hand into his, intertwining your fingers.
You caught him smile out of the corner of your eye. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, of course it’s okay.” He grinned and chuckled to himself. “I just…I didn’t expect today to be this amazing, but it keeps getting better.”
“Well, I hope that trend continues.”
Steve gave your hand a squeeze. “I have a feeling it will.”
When the two of you finally got to the diner, a little bell rang over your heads and you got seated at a booth by the window. The two of you ordered drinks and you skimmed the menu while you waited.
“So, tell me about yourself.” You said, resting your chin against your fist and looking up at Steve. You studied the way his blue, blue eyes flicked up to your own and the blush that covered his cheeks shortly thereafter.
“You probably know a lot of it already.” He chuckled. “Unless we don’t talk a lot?”
“We talk quite a bit, but I still want to know about this you. Here and now.”
“I like art. Drawing and painting and stuff.” He said. “I don’t think I’m all that good, but it’s fun.”
“See, that I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you were into art.”
“I could, uh, show you sometime.” He offered.
“I’d like that.” You smiled. “What else?”
“I like to read. I like going to baseball games with Bucky. One time he took me to Coney Island. I don’t do well on rollercoasters, but other than throwing up on one of them, I had a pretty good time.”
“I don’t really like roller coasters either,” you admitted, scrunching your nose.
“Enough about me, tell me about you.” Steve nudged, his hand slowly moving towards yours. “How do we know each other?”
“We’re…coworkers, I guess you could say. We met about a year back and now we live in the same…apartment complex? I’m sorry for being so vague, I just—”
“Don’t want to give it away, yeah, I get it.” He nodded, understandingly.
“You took me under your wing as soon as I moved in and really made me feel welcome. I appreciate it a lot.” You took a sip of your drink. “We’ve been through a lot together already, and I’m sure it’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
“Mmm…” Steve nodded. “I know I just met you, but I’m really glad you and I are close. Well, will be close.” He paused before chuckling and shaking his head. “There’s still some little voice in the back of my head telling me all of this is just some amazing dream.”
“Believe me, I understand.” You chuckled, tucking a piece of curled hair back behind your ear.
Once the two of you were finished up at the diner, you took a walk through the park. It was gorgeous out, a bright, sunny, warm summer afternoon. Several couples were strolling down the paths, hand in hand, and you were one of them, your hand held tight in Steve’s, his thumb gently stroking the back of yours.
You went to the theater and caught a movie together. It was strange, to say the very least, watching a “brand new” movie that in your normal life, you would only be able to catch on TV Land or maybe at a throwback night at the drive-in.
And then, once the movie was out and the sun was setting, you went to a bar, where Steve ordered each of you a drink. You took a sip of yours, something sweet, and smiled at him across the table.
“So, how’s your birthday been, birthday boy?” You asked coyly.
“The best I’ve had so far,” he replied, his eyes sparkling. The sparkle faded, however, when his expression grew somber. He hesitated, but then asked, “Okay, I have to know…How long do I have to wait to see you again?”
You exhaled a long sigh, biting your lip. If you told him the truth, he might ask questions you couldn’t tell him the answers to. But if you didn’t, you’d be lying to your soulmate.
“I’ll be honest, Steve, it’s…it’s a pretty long time.” You thought for a long moment before continuing, “I…I can’t really tell you why. It’s all really complicated, and if I tell you too much, it might not happen the way it’s supposed to.”
“Mmm…” Steve nodded and took a sip of his drink. Once he set down the glass, he reached across the table and took your hand. “Well, however long it is,” he looked straight into your eyes and a chill ran down your spine, “It’ll be worth it. I promise.”
You blushed at that. “I hope so.”
“There you two are! I was wondering which bar you’d wandered into!” Bucky was, apparently, already slightly intoxicated as he approached you and Steve with a date of his own. “How was your day on the town, lovebirds?”
“Spectacular.” You replied. “I wish there was more time to soak it in.”
“New York sure is something, huh?” Bucky’s date asked, giggling innocently. If only she knew the half of it.
“Yeah, you could say that.” You laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear.
“You guys wanna sit with us?” Steve asked.
“If you don’t mind too much, punk.” Bucky grinned.
Steve got up and switched sides of the booth so he was sitting next to you instead of across from you.
“Did you give the lady her dance, Stevie?” Bucky asked, smirking.
“Not yet.” Steve chuckled. “We’ll see. The asthma makes it a bit…difficult.”
“Easy. Just wait until the band plays something slow,” Bucky’s date pointed out.
“There you go!” Bucky raised his glass to his lips. “Great idea, Maggie.”
“Glad to be of service.”
And so, the four of you chatted until the band started to play something sweet and slow. Steve looked at you for approval and you nodded. He held out his hand and you slipped yours into it, letting him lead you out onto the floor with the other couples.
Steve blushed, flustered, and he looked at you before saying, “I don’t know how to do this.”
“It’s easy.” You promised, guiding one of his hands to your waist and holding the other. “That’s it. And then we just move to the music.”
“Cool.” He chuckled, swaying in time with you. “Hey, uh, (Y/N), I need you to know…I had a really, really good time today. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a soulmate and I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with you someday.”
“I’m glad I met your expectations.” You smiled, tugging him a bit closer.
“No, you exceeded them. You’re better than anything I could have imagined. I’m one lucky duck.” He paused, and his expression fell a little. “I know I’m a lot. I have a lot of problems and they might complicate things sometimes, but…”
“Steve, you’re perfect.” You shook your head and leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. “The universe gave you to me for a reason and I’m so, so glad it did. You’re amazing. I can’t think of anyone better to spend the rest of my life with.”
He was quiet for a moment before whispering, “Can I please kiss you, doll?”
You answered him with your lips.
The next morning, you woke up feeling something akin to the worse hangover you’d ever had in your entire life. You groaned and rolled over. According to your alarm clock, it was about noon. Seeing your nightstand caused you to sober up a bit.
You were back at the Compound.
Your heart raced and you sat up, pulling up the sleeve of your…nightgown?
That meant it hadn’t been some crazy dream. You felt the fabric of the nightgown, and sure enough, it wasn’t similar to anything you owned. In fact, it was the one Bucky loaned to you, another relic from one of his many, many hookups.
You pulled the sleeve up slowly, revealing the letters on your wrist one at a time, but they hadn’t changed. They still spelled out the name of the one and only Captain America.
You hopped out of bed and rushed to get dressed, brushing your teeth at lightspeed before speeding out of your bedroom and rushing to the kitchen. Steve was sitting there, a sandwich on his plate and a nervous look on his face.
Oh, he knew alright. Something told you he had known all along.
He whipped around at the sound of your voice, his eyes wide. “Happy birthday. Uh. How did you sleep?”
You froze. “Steve, I—” You exhaled. “Can we talk?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, following you to the nearest conference room, where you locked the door behind the two of you.
Before you could even say anything, he blurted, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t know how, and—”
“Steve.” You quieted him with a look, shaking your head and chuckling. “It was real, then? I’m not crazy?”
“It was real,” he confirmed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of fabric, which, when he handed it to you, you realized it was your Star Wars t-shirt, about 70 years older than you had last seen it.
You stared at it for a long time. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah…” He reached up to rub the back of his neck. “I didn’t know what else to do with it, so I just…held onto it. For a while, it fit me, and then I, uh, had my growth spurt.”
“Mmm…” You hummed, thinking.
It was quiet for a moment, before he asked quietly, “Are we gonna be okay?”
Your heart just about melted. “Of course we’re gonna be okay.” You stood on your toes and pulled him down into a hug. “You’re my soulmate, Steve. Nothing is ever going to change that. Not time, not space, not even a super soldier serum.”
Steve’s arms wrapped tightly and protectively around your frame, causing butterflies to float around in your stomach. He sighed and said, “I missed you so much, doll. Which is…silly because you’ve been here, you didn’t go anywhere, but—”
You laughed, “I get it.”
You pulled back, studying his face, a hand reaching up to stroke his cheek. And then, for the first time since 1943, Steve Rogers got to kiss his soulmate again.
Warnings: Royal AU, sadness, tears, mentions of death, mentions of war
Summary: After almost a month, Steve manages to see you again, but now he has to tell you the truth about yourself.
Word Count: ~2,2k
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
It had now been 25 days, almost a month, since you had seen Steve. In the meantime, Mary, Cecily, and Lady Meford had returned. Cecily was still a bundle of joy. She was looking forward to her wedding, which had to be postponed because of the official mourning period but was still not too far away.
A lot of preparation had to be done. For their wedding and for their move that would follow. Together with her husband, she would then move into a new, shared mansion.
You spent the days picking out fabrics for her dresses, especially her wedding dress, and helping the staff with packing and other preparations. You stayed quietly in the background and just worked.
Your mood had gotten worse and worse. At least you now had a occupation, although this also involved continuing to hear the gossip of the servants, because now you could no longer hide away.
Especially after the return of the others from the court, they chatted a lot. You wondered why they didn't do it more quietly. Some people here knew what was going on between you and Steve. Maybe it was just this circumstance that made it even more interesting.
Whatever it was, you tried to ignore it. However, your bad mood and sadness did not go unnoticed by the others, of course.
Mary sighed worriedly as she watched you like this “Wasn't Steve supposed to come in this week? The rumors are driving the girl out of her mind”.
“He just wanted to clear up a few important formalities before taking the time to retire for a little while” Lady Meford replied as she poured the tea into cups and gestured Mary to sit with her “Don't worry so much Mary. I understand your concerns, but it will be fine”.
“It's just that the gossip is already making me quite nervous myself” she confessed with an embarrassed smile and sat down to enjoy her afternoon tea with Lady Meford.
The sun was already setting when you decided to go out for some fresh air. You had a light scarf around your shoulders. Despite the warm weather, it quickly became chilly in the evening. You had just gone down the few steps into the front yard when you saw someone riding up.
For a little moment you hoped it was Steve, but when he came closer you saw it was James. Disappointed, you took a deep breath and looked down to continue walking, but he was already in front of you. “My lady” he greeted you politely, when he got down from his horse.
Tired, you forced yourself to an exhausted little smile and curtsied to him “Good evening your grace”.
“Oh please, no formalities here. Feel free to just call me James.” he told you and grabbed your hand to help you up. You understood why Steve and he were not only confidants, but also friends. They had the same way of doing or seeing things. Their attitudes, ways of thinking and their charisma was very similar.
“Thank you, James. I was about to take a few steps. The others are still in the salon.”
“But I am here because of you. Will you accompany me?” he asked you cautiously, unsure how you would react.
“Ehmm…” you were a bit overwhelmed and looked around confused for a moment and recognized Lady Meford, who was now standing at the entrance of the mansion and just nodded to you assuringly “Yes alright”.
James helped you onto his horse and sat behind you with a proper safety distance. It was not as intimate as it was with Steve.
He briefly waved to Lady Meford “Don't worry, I'll take care of her and bring her back safe and sound”
“You know sometimes she really scares me. ” he said and elicited a little giggle from you.
It was only a short ride to a fenced area with only two guards at the entrance who let you pass without words. Although you had been here for a long time, you had never noticed this before. After a few more meters you came to a house. It was not a large mansion like Mary's country estate. It was more like a large, noble cottage.
James got off the horse first and then helped you. But he just stood still and showed you with a hand gesture “Go inside”.
Unsure and nervous about what to expect, you went to the door, which was only ajar, pushed it open and carefully took a look inside. The dim light illuminated the hallway with its simple yet expensive interior.
You couldn't see anyone yet. You turned again to James, who just smiled at you and nodded. You step inside and close the door behind you. It was completely silent, but a small rustle lured you into a room that at first glance looked like a salon.
And there he sat. In an armchair, dressed in a simple white shirt and pants. His blond hair shimmered in the glow of the light. He was still engrossed in a book and seemed not to have noticed you leaning against the door.
Your soft and sweet voice was music to his ears. He closed the book, put it on the small table in front of him and immediately came up to you to take you in his arms.
His embrace felt warm, soft, yet strong and protective. He gave you a kiss on the forehead before he also gently pressed your head against him and whispered into your hair “I missed you so much my dear”
He felt the difference from earlier. You seemed a little weaker and more exhausted in his arms. It made him feel very sorry that the temporary separation seemed to affect you so much.
“I missed you too, Steve” you replied while playing with his hair on the back of his neck.
With a heavy heart, Steve slowly let you out of the embrace and looked into your eyes, which were underwritten by a light shadow. Lovingly he stroked your hair out of your face and then led you to a sofa.
“Would you like something to drink or eat?” he asked as he looked into your tired face.
But you just shook your head slightly. You rather wanted to know “Where are we?”
Steve crossed one leg over the other and put one arm on the backrest to sit as openly as possible next to you. He hoped you would take the opportunity to move a little closer.
“This is my own private retreat. Very few people know about this place. The house has been in the family for generations. I come here when I need to be by myself. I usually find peace and quiet here. Besides, this is the only place where I can see you undisturbed right now. During the mourning period I must not be seen with you, but I could not wait”.
Lovingly he reached for your hand to hold it tightly “I'm sorry I couldn't arrange it sooner”.
“That's all right. You have your duties and...” you briefly thought about what to tell him about the rumors you had heard, but then decided not to talk to him about it for the time being “now you are here with me”.
Steve was breathing a little deeper and faster now and looked down at the floor, his fingers tapping nervously on the back of the sofa “I had you brought here because I need to talk to you about something.”
Suddenly your heart began to race, and you had to swallow hard. Was that it? Would he tell you that he was going to marry someone else? Were the rumors true? Tears inevitably welled up in your eyes.
“Shh… Shhh” you heard Steve, who immediately pulled you into his arms when he realized you were on the verge of tears “What-…?”
“You're going to get married again, aren't you? The rumors....” you said sobbing.
“No, my dear. Oh, I had hoped that the rumors would not reach you.”
He pulled you closer, cradled you lovingly and wiped the tears from your cheek.
“If it's not that, what do you want to talk to me about?” curious you looked at him when you had detached yourself from him a bit.
“I want to talk to you about your family” he revealed to you in a deep and depressed voice.
Your confusion was written all over your face “About my family? I don't understand what you mean.”
“A long time ago, King Robert attacked all the members of the Royal House of Capral. He wanted to seize power and for that he had to get rid of the legitimate heirs to the throne.”
“I know, that' s how this war started, which is still raging today.”
Steve nodded slightly and continued “Among them was the niece of the king at the time. For a long time, it was assumed that she and her family died in the attack on their castle. But the young princess was rescued and brought to safety”.
You tried to follow Steve's words. You still didn't understand what he was trying to say.
“She was brought across the border and grew up far away from all of this in the countryside with her nanny, who had fled with her.”
Steve looked at you intently and his words replayed in your head.
Slowly it became clear to you what he wanted to say. You stood up and looked out through the window into the night.
The images of your nightmares rose in you. They quickly flashed past your inner eye.
A woman running for her life
He had to say it. He had to say it out loud.
Steve stood behind you and looked at your reflection in the window “Y/N, you are the young princess”
You slapped your hand over your mouth as tears welled up in your eyes again. But this time it wasn't just one tear. You just couldn't hold it back.
“You must be mistaken” you sobbed, still trying to suppress your past, even though deep inside you knew he was right. For a long time, you had buried all memories of it deep out of self-protection. You had tried to forget. And now he brought it all out.
“Y/N, I wish I was. But my mother was involved in the plan of your rescue, and I found the correspondence between her and Ines” he explained to you as calmly as possible and put his hand on your shoulder to give you space and still show that he was there.
Ines – your foster mother.
The world was spinning. Everything seemed so far away and quiet. You could only hear your loud thoughts. Everything your foster mother, Steve, Lady Meford and all the others ever said to you whirred through your head in a rush. The chaos in your head was causing a terrible migraine.
A terrible thought came to your mind “Is that why you keep me around? Because if I really am who you seem to think I am, it would be just another strategic alliance? More capital to ensure the security of your kingdom?”
“No no, never. I never thought of that.” he affirmed, turning you to him and taking your cheeks in his hands so that you had to look at him “When I took you to Newbridge castle and got to know you better, invited you to dinner on my birthday and kissed you, I didn't know who you really were. I only knew what you meant to me. I first suspected it in the forest when you hurt your knee - because of the scar. By then I had already fallen in love with you. All the decisions I made were only because of that.”
His eyes spoke the truth, you believed him, and you were directly sorry to have thought so badly of him “I'm sorry for being so mean to you and for blaming you like that. You were always very generous and kind to me. I'm a little overwhelmed with it. It is not possible for me to... I'm not a princess after all. I don't know how to deal with this.”
“That's fine my dear. I wouldn't know how to handle such news either.”
Your head which by now hurt immensely rested on his chest “Y/N, lie down for a while. I make us some tea”.
Without resistance you let yourself be led back to the sofa. Steve helped you make yourself comfortable. He put a soft pillow under your head, brought you a blanket to snuggle into and got you a cold, damp cloth for your forehead against the headache.
After a while, the tears dried. New ones did not come. You had the feeling of being completely dried up. Steve watched you anxiously. You would have many more questions that he would have to answer. And he also had one more question. An important one. But it was enough for today, because when your eyes closed from crying, Steve decided it was best to let you rest.
A/N: I have decided that this is going to be the last part of this series. Thank you for all the support and love guys. I’m really glad for all of you. Love you. My requests are open so send them in.
Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)
Summary: Your kids start referring to Tom as dad and Chris gets jealous. You then inform him that you are pregnant with Tom’s kids and that you are going to get married. Chris knows that he has lost you forever and he regrets his choices.
Warnings: Angst all the way.
As time passed you moved on with your life while Chris was still stuck in the same moment. It was truly heart breaking for him to see that you were happy with someone else. He did a good job at hiding his feelings from you because you shouldn’t feel any sympathy for him. He didn’t deserve it.
Chris threw himself into work and he let his management set up some dates for him. He went on all of them and let the media think that he was with a different girl every other night. They were all really nice but no one compared to you. He couldn’t bring himself to replace you.
"Dad took us all to ice cream because Jacie won his game..." Mia continued her rant but Chris stopped listening after this sentence. There was that damned word again. Dad. He never thought that this word uttered from his children would be painful. Knife in the chest, painful.
"Why didn't you come to the game, daddy?" Questioning his father, Jace stopped doing his homework. Chris knew this was coming. It was always coming.
"Was busy, buddy. I'm really sorry."
"'kay." He hated the fact that his son didn't even sound disappointed anymore. Jace expected it from him. Chris was free this time but he couldn't see his children calling another man father. It was painful and he was a coward so he avoided events like this one.
"You guys need to go to sleep. Mommy will be here to pick you up early in the morning."
That night, your ex husband drowned himself in liquor. It was his rule to never drink when his kids were in the house but it was one of those days.
It felt like his word was falling apart from the moment he asked you for a divorce. The walls were closing in on him and he couldn't do anything. He just stood there helpless. He wanted to blame someone, anyone; you, Tom, or even God. But this was his own doing and this was the punishment.
"Kids will be down any moment." The awkward silent between the both of you never went away in these past three years, even if you tried. Nothing was the same.
"Okay. Need to talk to you about something in the meantime."
You were a little nervous right now. You didn't know how he would react to the news that you were about to tell him. It was exciting for you but you knew it would not be for him. You had to tell him. It wasn't something you could keep from him. It was better for him to get this information from you than the paparazzi.
"I'm pregnant with twins and I'm engaged." Blurting it out was not the most sane decision but you couldn't help it.
"Wow." That one word was the only thing uttered by your ex husband and then nothing.
After the awkward silence, you decided to speak. "Please say something." You knew that it would be a shock to him but this was weird. He should have expected that you would move on at some point. It had been three years, after all.
"Are you happy?" Chris didn't want his voice to come out all broken but it was all too much. He didn't want to admit it but there was always a sliver of hope. Hope that you would leave Tom and come back to him. But you just killed that tiny bit of hope.
"I am." Exhaling a breath, your hand subconsciously went to your belly. You were truly happy.
"Okay then. I'm happy for you too."
There was no point in expressing his feeling right now. He kept them in for too long and now they have to stay that way. It was too much to process so he kept quiet till you were gone with his children. His children. You were the mother of his children but now that was not the case. You were going to be someone else's wife and someone else's children's mother.
Why did he do this to himself? Why did he ask for divorce? Why did he ruin his life? His marriage? Sitting on the couch, he buried his face in his hands and cried. He lost everything. Everything. There was no coming back from this. You were gone and it was only a matter of time that he lost his kids as well. It was just a matter of time.
"Why is this happening?" Enraged, he threw the vase across the room and saw it shattering just like his world was. He downed a whole bottle of whiskey that day and spent the next few days going through old photos of his family. Correction; was his family.
Chris got a movie opportunity after a week and he immediately took it because he had to get away from everything. He had to get away from all the suffocating memories. They kept haunting him. The day he proposed to you. The day you got married. The days both your kids were born. These memories reminded him that he couldn't experience any new milestones with you. What made it worse was that you were going to make new memories with Tom.
After about a month, Chris got a wedding invite. The names on the card knocked the breath out of him. The written declaration made it all real. It was your wedding invitation card and he didn't know how you expected him to attend. How could he pretend he was alright with all this? He was not that good of an actor.
"Hi, (Y/N)." It was an impulsive decision to call you but he just had to get it over with. "Can't come to your wedding."
"Why?" Your voice was just a soft whisper because you really wanted him to be there. He knew you the longest and you had hoped that you both would remain friends.
He blurted out the first excuse that came in his mind. "The movie is taking longer than I expected. Sorry."
"Oh ok." The disappointment was clear in your voice because you really wanted him there. But you understood that his job was more important. After all, he called quits with you for his career. "Goodbye, Chris."
"Goodbye, (Y/N)." It felt like a proper goodbye because you both were truly over. You were with someone else.
Talking to his children was the one thing that kept him away from spiraling. They talked to him about their school and friends. They told him that they were excited for their new siblings and your wedding. Jace and Mia referring to Tom as dad always broke his heart but he couldn't tell them to stop. Tom had earned the right.
Chris had decided that whatever happened, he was going to be a part of his children's life. They were the only reason he wanted to keep living. His motivation. They can be with their new family but he would be there for them. He is their father and it's his right.
"Have you seen the tabloids?" Sebastian questioned Chris as he entered his best friend's room.
"No, I haven't." Today was the wedding day and he didn't even want to think about it.
"It's about (Y/N) and Tom's wedding ceremony."
Ignoring the sympathetic looks, Chris kept scrolling through the images. There you were, in a wedding gown, looking radiant then ever. You didn't want the world to know about the babies just yet so you opted for a slightly loose gown. But Chris could see the hint of the baby bump and that sight made him tear up. You were pregnant with someone else'e babies and you were going to be someone else's wife. It was all over.
Both your kids looked so cute in their outfits and you just couldn't be happier. The 'I do' part reminded you of your first wedding and you knew that Chris would always be your first love. He will always have a place in your heart but you were ready for this new part. You embraced it with open arms and kissed your new husband sweetly.
Chris called you the moment your ceremony finished. "Hey. I know you're busy but I just wanted to congratulate you."
"Thank you, Chris. The kids were asking for you today."
There were slight tears in his eyes but he answered anyway. "I'll make it up to them when I get back, I promise."
"Okay, love you. Bye." You were in a hurry and it was just something that came out of instinct. It was true in some sense.
"Love you too. Bye." Chris meant it with his whole heart and he was happy to know that you were going to be alright. You were happy and that was enough.
Hope you guys enjoyed it!!
A/N: I might write an alternate ending for part for those who wanted the reader and Chris to end up back together. I’ll be working on it. Meanwhile, requests are open so just send them in.
The sound of soft pattering against the window next to the bed brings you from the land of dreams, the room is splayed in the aura of lazy days full of rain. The blankets are a warm cocoon from the chill in the air.
You feel safe and content.
Soft rustling to your left makes the hazy fog of just waking up lessen but you don't want to start the day just yet.
"It's morning." You murmur out into the room before a hand grazes your bare shoulder underneath the blankets.
"Stay." A whisper that's more of a sigh rather than a word makes you smile.
You immediately want to give in to the plea, you want to stay and ignore the world for just another day.
"You know I can't." You whisper back and the hand that's on your shoulder travels further south, touch light as a feather, teasing.
"Stay," The plea is stronger now, more word than breath, "Please."
Fingers graze soft skin that protects your ribs and you fight the chill that runs up your spine. "Stay."
You let out a soft sigh before opening your eyes to see her.
Her eyes are so very blue, like the sky on a sunny afternoon, so blue and so bright and you feel like you're peering into her soul.
There is nothing hidden in the depths of her gaze, all the yearning and hoping and wanting, you see it, you see all of it.
“Maria,” Her name a plea of your own. You don't want to hurt her, you don't want to tear this moment away from her, you don't want to do that. She’s so special and so beautiful, and she’s been your friend since forever. You don't want to cause her more pain than you already have.
You close your eyes when you feel her move closer, you can't look because there is so much in her eyes and you want to cry. “Please, please.”
Thunder sounds in the distance, the sky a darker grey. The rain has picked up in speed and force, thrumming against the window. “I want you to stay,”
You can feel her breath fan over your face, you can feel her against you. You feel her warmth and the softness of her skin, and you want to stay, you want to stay so bad.
She’s slow, cautious when she leans closer, sharing the air you breathe. Giving you plenty of time to deny her, but you don't, you can't.
You let her steal your breath, you let her pull you in, you let her make your choice.
The sky is blue when you look up, the few clouds are scattered to win a race that declares no winner.
The sun is bright and daring, and looking down on you as the minutes tick by as you wait. Birds chirp and prance around the sidewalks as they look for anything edible, children laugh and scream in glee as they explore the park as parents watch like guardian angels.
“Hey there stranger, long time no see.”
You’re brought from your thoughts when you hear her voice and you give the blonde a smile when you catch sight of her, walking towards you with purpose and a smile.
“It’s good to see you too Carol.” You barely have time to stand from the bench before she’s pulling you into a hug that steals the breath from you. You’ve forgotten how strong she is, how amazing her hugs are as you relax in her embrace. “You can't leave for that long again. I won't let you.”
You chuckle at her declaration. “I don't doubt it.”
Light brown eyes search your face when she pulls back, hands still on your shoulders. “How are you doing?” She asks and you give her a soft smile. “I’m doing good.”
She nods with a smile that you know all too well. “I’m glad you’re back, now come on.”
You follow her, slightly behind but close enough.
“Where exactly are we going again?” You wonder aloud as Carol slows to walk beside you. She glances up as she thinks and you wonder if she misses the stars, the need for nothing to hold her down. “Where do you want to go?” She asks after a few steps, turning to look at you and the sun makes her hair shine enough that you remember the first time you saw her glow, she was glorious and proud and showing no fear.
Carol Danvers is a sight to behold.
“Lost in the stars?” She nudges your shoulder when it takes too long to respond.
“Not the only one,” You tease her and she shakes her head with a grin. “Always.”
“How was the mission?” She rolls her shoulders back and pushes her hands in her front pockets as the two of you stop at a crosswalk.
“You know I can’t tell you.” You say as you press the arrow button three times just for good measure. Turning to her when it repeats that you have to wait.
“Well,” She shrugs her shoulders and you raise an eyebrow at her as cars breeze past, people hurrying to work or doctors appointments or to meet family, everyone seems in a hurry to get to where they need to be.
“You know the rules, captain.” You remind her as you reach out and press the arrow again because you can. “Yeah,” Carol lets out a sigh before she takes a step closer, her eyes glued on the traffic light.
“You’re okay though, right?” She sounds concerned and you choose not to look at her as the light turns green and the two of you start walking.
The seconds count down as you walk across the street, big and red as it gets closer to zero. It reminds you of a timer and you find yourself biting your tongue to stay in the moment, away from the memories that have shaped you as you are.
“I’m back,” You tell her as if she doesn't know. “I came back when I didn't want to.”
“I know.” Voice low and soft, a realization to what's already known.
The whispers of the morning linger as the day draws on and you’re not quite able to forget what happened.
You don’t think you’ll ever forget what happened.
The echoes that were drowned by the pouring rain, the feather light touches that seem to linger still, the view you see when you close your eyes makes you wish this morning never ended.
She was so beautiful, so willing to give you everything. So very-
“How’s Natasha?” Maybe you're trying to distract yourself from your thoughts, maybe you really do want to know how she’s doing. Maybe you still aren't running if you ask about her.
You glance over at Carol who’s picking apart her sandwich, pulling the bacon off and placing it on the side of the plate, she looks deep in thought and you don't want to repeat the question again, not if she’s lost to the stars at the moment.
“She was worried.” Her words are well thought out, slow and calculated and you know she’s trying to say the right things. “When you left, everyone was.”
She wipes her hands off with a napkin and you wonder if she will continue. “Why didn’t you tell anyone you were leaving?” She finally looks up from the food to look at you, she looks hurt and you swallow the guilt that you feel.
“I did tell someone.” You respond after a second where you wish you didn't have to face what you did. Carol nods and you choose to grab a fry and eat half of it so you don't have to say anything more.
“Yeah, you told one person.” You see her nibble at her bottom lip and yes you do feel guilty.
You clear your throat before explaining more. “I told who I needed to, that was it.”
“But you didn’t tell her.” No, you suppose you didn’t.
She picks up her sandwich, elbows on the table as she goes to take a bite and you want her to let this conversation go, let it drift past like the wind that rustles the leaves that still cling to the tree.
But she stops short, looks you in the eyes when she says her next words, and you swear for just a split second she wasn't your friend anymore.
“You hurt her.”
You look away from eyes that have seen past the universe, eyes that blaze like burning suns. You look away and pick up the napkin that’s resting next to your drink, bring it into your lap and wad the tissue up in a ball.
A part of you knows she doesn't mean to hurt you with her words, hopes that she doesn't intend to rip open old wounds and let them bleed free, prays that she doesn't mean to blame the pain you feel on you.
“She hurt me.” Your words are a weak whisper, a declaration on your behalf. She knows this, the entire team knows this.
It’s not a secret well kept.
You let out a sigh when you accidentally drop the wadded up napkin on the ground, watch it roll away like it doesn't want to share your burden.
“You hurt everyone when you chose to run away.” The judgment in her voice makes you clench your jaw. “Do you know what happened after you left?”
“Do you really think I’m oblivious to the pain I’ve caused?” You look at her and you make sure not to let her see how much it hurts. “Do you really think I did this on purpose? I left because if I didnt I don't know what I would have done if I stayed.”
Maybe you ignore the knot in your stomach that makes you want to vomit, maybe you ignore the look in her eyes when she realizes that she might have pushed you too far, but you dont ignore the people who turn your way, the ones who eavesdrop and gossip.
The two of you have brought more attention to you than you're comfortable with. “I’m leaving.”
Your half eaten sandwich and few fries that are left stay on the table as you get to your feet and walk away.
The smell of salt and the view of the sea does nothing to help the nausea you feel. It should be relaxing and calming and able to push your worries away but it doesn't help.
You see the waves crash and chase each other, never still for more than a moment. The gulls that ride the breeze as it drags the smell of the ocean through the air, the pelicans that are not bothered by the crashing of dominance as they only look for fish close enough to steal.
It reminds you of home, of days full of sun and sand. Treasure hunts to find the biggest and prettiest shell you could, races to see who could build the tallest sandcastles.
You wish it wasn't accompanied with the guilt in your stomach and the weight on your shoulders.
You want to run back to before you left your bed, you want to feel what you felt then. Safe, content, loved.
You want to hide under the covers and bask in the warmth of the person next to you, you want to memorize the depths of the sky.
But here you are standing alone on a pier looking out at the sea feeling sick to your stomach and terrified of what you have to face.
You feel like such a terrible person.
For running, for feeling so many things you think you might break, for wanting to hang the towel up and say that you’re done, for begging for an excuse to not look her in the eyes.
You wish that you never bought that ring, you wish you never even considered the idea. To want to marry her, to want to share her name, to want for things you knew were out of reach.
With a breath that brings you almost to tears, you try to ignore the way your feelings seem to bleed out for all to see.
You love her, you still love her. You don't think you'll ever stop loving her. But Natasha chose what happened, she decided that you weren't enough, that she wasn't enough.
“I’m sorry.” You watch as a boat moves through the sea at a crawl, slowly growing smaller as it bravely sets out for some adventure you hope is fulfilling.
“I don't want your pity, I don't want your regret.” You say the words you hope she will listen to as you lean back and gaze at the sky, hands still holding the wooden railing.
You let out a breath that is stolen by the breeze as you force yourself to leave a fraction of your pain where you stand.
The view above you is still so blue and bright, not a cloud in sight and you remember this morning with a sad smile.
You've always loved how Maria's eyes share the color of the sky.
“I just want you to be my friend.” You turn to the blonde when you speak those words.
“Okay.” She nods and you give her a smile before letting go of the railing and walking back to the beach. She doesn't say anything more as she comes to walk beside you and even though you know there is something on her mind you choose to take what she’s given you.
Steve greets you with a cautious smile when you finally give in and follow Carol to the compound and even though you still haven't completely forgiven him you smile back.
“How are you?” He asks after Carol excuses herself and you shrug off his comment with a shrug.
“How are you? You look good.” You notice his hair is a little longer and he hasn’t shaved in a few days but he looks well rested and not so brought down by the weight of so many responsibilities that come with being such a hero. “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” He nods and you watch as hair falls in his face.
“You need a haircut buddy.” You tease him and Steve glares at you playfully before he runs his hand through his hair and that does absolutely nothing to fix it.
“I kind of like it.” He admits with a shrug and you nod, it does look good on him.
“You just get back?” He asks and you smile through the lie. “Yeah, just got back.”
You follow him into the kitchen where you hear the familiar sound of the coffee maker, taking a seat on one of the empty stools that stand at the kitchen island as he goes to grab a cup from one of the cabinets.
“Why are you having coffee now?” You ask in curiosity and Steve does a terrible job at hiding his amusement as he places his cup next to the coffee maker and waits.
“It’s not for me,” He gives no more explanation than that and you only wonder who it’s for, the coffee mug he chose doesn't look familiar.
“Cool, cool.” You nod before silence pushes its way between the two of you, and you can't help the selfishness you feel for blaming him for what happened back then, for not hearing him through when he tried to explain before you left.
You felt so many things back then, so much and so deeply and you don't even know how you didn’t end up do something stupid or reckless.
A part of you had wanted to follow her when she walked out, wanted to understand why she thought you weren't enough for her.
Maybe it was your pride, maybe it was your bleeding heart that rooted you down making it impossible to move, or maybe it was the fear of everything blowing up even more than it already had but you let her walk away.
“I don’t want what you want.”
The words ring in your mind like church bells, loud and all consuming, echoing but never leaving you in silence.
“I’m sorry.” The soft spoken apology brings you back from thoughts of the past and you blink away the tears that carry your pain.
“It's…” You trail off.
You wish you could forgive him, you wish you didn't blame him even just a little but you do and you don't know when you can fully forgive him for something that wasn’t solely his fault. “You were only doing what I asked you to, it’s not… your fault.” He nods at your words before turning and busying his hands with pouring the coffee into the mug.
He told you once, before you got the courage to ask Natasha out, that he thought the two of you would be good for each other. That you should face the uncertainty of her feelings toward you with confidence, you would never know if you didn't ask, right?
“You’re still my friend Steve. That hasn’t changed.”
You call out as he’s about to turn the corner to leave the kitchen, you need him to know that. That no matter what, he’s still your friend.
He gives you a nod that lets you know you haven't lost him and you breathe a little easier.
“Hey,” You don't turn around to see her, you don't look up from the glass of brandy in your hands, you don't think you can.
“It’s… good to see you.”
“Yep.” You mutter as you finish your drink and place it down on the counter. “So good,” The sarcasm is clear in your voice and you ignore the urge to look up when you feel that she’s moving closer.
You don't want to look up, you don’t want to see her a year older than before. You don't want to feel your chest cave in when you see her, when the breath is stolen from you and held hostage.
You missed her, god you missed her so much and now she’s right here and you can’t even look at her.
“I’m sorry.” Maybe it’s the drinks you’ve had or maybe it's the emotions that keep piling up that pull the words from you, but all you know is that they ring true.
You’re apologizing to her and a part of you wants to snatch it back before it takes flight, before there is no way you can get it back.
But you are sorry, for being weak, for falling head over heels for her, for loving her so much that she had to turn away to breathe.