Bucky: it was hockey gloves?

Steve: no it was rubber ducks, I remember it, it was in 1992

Peter: you were alive in 1992??

@ihatecoconut

Steve: Hey, Buck? You love me right?

Bucky:

Bucky: Usually I’d say yes without hesitation but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like

Steve: I have bad news

Tony, having a good day: There is no such thing as bad news, Steve

Steve: Sam and Bucky stuck Peter to the ceiling fan again

Tony, no longer having a good day: That IS bad news

Steve, talking to the avengers: And that concludes the battle plan. Buck, you’re up!

Bucky: Alright, time to see if you little shits were paying attention [Kahoot music starts playing]

Bucky: I want to be a caterpillar

Steve: Why??

Bucky: I mean, I eat a lot then sleep for a long time, then I wake up a little more beautiful than when I fell asleep.

Sam: But you’ll only have a lifespan of a week

Bucky: You’re only sweetening the deal

Sam: What’s your favourite horror movie?

Steve: IT

Nat: Saw

Bucky: Teletubbies

Bucky, thinking: It appears I'm a good guy now. So no more overthrowing governments, no more tricking people with my semblance and attacking them and no more stealing.

Bucky: Alright, guys, what do you want me to do?

Steve: We need to overthrow the government, so you have to trick Tony again, attack him and steal his weapons

Bucky:

Bucky: I got you

Sam: Steve would throw himself out of a window for you

Bucky, having flashbacks: Steve would throw himself out of a window for fun

[Steve and Bucky skimming rocks on a lake]

Steve: This is such a beautiful evening

Bucky, mumbling: Take that you fucking lake

Reader: I’m going to bed.

Steve: It’s noon.

Reader: Time isn’t real.

Bucky: Bros before hoes.

Bucky, pulling Steve onscreen: But who says it cant be both?

(Sorry if this has already been done!)

Besties, I cannot emphasize enough how much I need Sarah and Sharon to be together. Like come on, can’t you just imagine them having to deal with Sam and Bucky being idiots? It would be glorious.

Y/N: The food's too hot, I can't eat it

Tony: You're too hot and I still eat you

Y/N: [blushes]

Tony: [winks at them]

Steve: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER!

avengers (plus nick and loki) + random text posts

Steve: Hey, Sam, I gift you my Shield and the title of Captain America.

Sam: Thanks but... yeah, bro, that ain’t for me, aye? I’ll just... give it to the American Government with all rights and responsibilities...

America: We have a new Captain America! :D

Sam: ...

Bucky: THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T REGIFT, SAM!!!

The Breakfast club

 *Y/n,Peter, Wanda, and Pietro walks into kitchen talking, and sit at the island*  

Steve turns around wearing an apron: Mornin kids, what do you want for breakfast?  

Wanda: can we get some cooked chicken fetuses, with...  

Pietro: some cow juice  that has been acidification, coagulation, separating curds and whey, salting, shaping, and ripening.

Peter: with some of Peppa’s scraps.

Y/n: Raw toast and some Citrus sinensis piss.  

Steve: 

Steve: W-what  

Nat who walks in to her kitchen staring at her phone: eggs, *points to Wanda, still looking at her phone* Chess, *points to Pietro* Bacon, *points to Peter* Bread and orange juice * she points to you, looking up from her phone, with a smirk of question.  

Nat: To sum it up for you, they want breakfast sandwiches. 

Steve looks at the four: I am Confusion  

Everybody: Gasp

Y/n: “Hey, i didn’t kill anyone today!”

Steve: “What do you want? A gold star?”

Y/n: “I have a plan.”

Tony: “Thank goodness.”

Y/n: “It involves fire.”

Steve: “Absolutly not.”

Steve: you kids with your iphobes and your netpix

Y/n: I- you mean iPhones and Netflix

Steve: eh we’ll disagree to agree

Y/n: that’s not..... you know what I’m not qualified for this

Steve: You guys really shouldn't joke about your dead relatives...

Tony: What the fuck are you gonna do about it?

Peter: Tell our parents?

Steve:...