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#Steve rodgers incorrect quotes
Steve: I have bad news
Tony, having a good day: There is no such thing as bad news, Steve
Steve: Sam and Bucky stuck Peter to the ceiling fan again
Tony, no longer having a good day: That IS bad news
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Steve, talking to the avengers: And that concludes the battle plan. Buck, you’re up!
Bucky: Alright, time to see if you little shits were paying attention [Kahoot music starts playing]
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Bucky: I want to be a caterpillar
Steve: Why??
Bucky: I mean, I eat a lot then sleep for a long time, then I wake up a little more beautiful than when I fell asleep.
Sam: But you’ll only have a lifespan of a week
Bucky: You’re only sweetening the deal
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Bucky, thinking: It appears I'm a good guy now. So no more overthrowing governments, no more tricking people with my semblance and attacking them and no more stealing.
Bucky: Alright, guys, what do you want me to do?
Steve: We need to overthrow the government, so you have to trick Tony again, attack him and steal his weapons
Bucky: I got you
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ynandtheavengers · 7 days ago
Y/N: The food's too hot, I can't eat it
Tony: You're too hot and I still eat you
Y/N: [blushes]
Tony: [winks at them]
Steve: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER!
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thranduilland · 10 days ago
Steve: Hey, Sam, I gift you my Shield and the title of Captain America.
Sam: Thanks but... yeah, bro, that ain’t for me, aye? I’ll just... give it to the American Government with all rights and responsibilities...
America: We have a new Captain America! :D
Sam: ...
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coollemonsaresour · 11 days ago
The Breakfast club
 *Y/n,Peter, Wanda, and Pietro walks into kitchen talking, and sit at the island*  
Steve turns around wearing an apron: Mornin kids, what do you want for breakfast?  
Wanda: can we get some cooked chicken fetuses, with...  
Pietro: some cow juice  that has been acidification, coagulation, separating curds and whey, salting, shaping, and ripening.
Peter: with some of Peppa’s scraps.
Y/n: Raw toast and some Citrus sinensis piss.  
Steve: W-what  
Nat who walks in to her kitchen staring at her phone: eggs, *points to Wanda, still looking at her phone* Chess, *points to Pietro* Bacon, *points to Peter* Bread and orange juice * she points to you, looking up from her phone, with a smirk of question.  
Nat: To sum it up for you, they want breakfast sandwiches. 
Steve looks at the four: I am Confusion  
Everybody: Gasp
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hello-mtf · 16 days ago
Steve: you kids with your iphobes and your netpix
Y/n: I- you mean iPhones and Netflix
Steve: eh we’ll disagree to agree
Y/n: that’s not..... you know what I’m not qualified for this
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peter-parker-pictures · 26 days ago
Steve: You guys really shouldn't joke about your dead relatives...
Tony: What the fuck are you gonna do about it?
Peter: Tell our parents?
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