bring him home
rating: t ♥️ cw: Eddie in the Upside Down,; Steve on what he thinks is a retrieval mission for his body (it's not); Eddie Munson Lives; Kas!Eddie (ish) ♥️ tags: established relationship, secret pre-S4 relationship, post-S4, presumed dead (Eddie), mourning and heartbreak (Steve), happy ending (because Eddie is alive, ofc), soul-deep love
for @steddielovemonth day twenty-four: Love is the only thing we can take with us (@thefreakandthehair)
oh hey look, another day I didn't intend to write at all ♥️ but then @pearynice was intrigued by a stray half-baked idea and I struggle to not at least try to provide content in such instances ♥️
He’s only thought it since, since, but he’s actually kind of grateful no one knew. That no one could even have guessed. They’re on eggshells around him enough as it is, thinking it’s the loss, finally, that he couldn’t walk them back from, couldn’t recover them allfrom safe if not wholly sound. They think he’s dealing with survivor’s guilt or just the general blow of a failure so immense, maybe long overdue: and that’s probably part of it.
But only because it’s part of the bigger thing. The real loss.
They would have been together nearly ten fucking months, y’know; the better part of a whole goddamn year since that day at the mall, eyes catching and something just…clicking. Like the barest whisper breathing this could be something into the universe for them to catch if they wanted, and for all that’s still good in the world they both wanted, beyond any kind of logic they both fucking reached.
And Steve knows he’s worrying everyone, knows Joyce cooks for him because she’s sacred for him, knows Claudia bakes for the very same reason; he knows Robin’s gone back to biting her nails over him, and he hates that, he hates it but, like: Steve feels like he left his soul in that hellscape with the man he’d wrapped up in it; knows he left his heart there, because he gave it to that same man ages ago and never ever considered taking it back—and he’s kind of just a, a shell, now, and it’s good that they all think Steve’s just fucked up over the lost, over-inflated savior complex, Rob had muttered more than once and sure, fine—let them think that’s all it is.
It means he can plan without interference.
It means he can drive to the last oozing rift in the world with axes he found in the garage, a crowbar he grabbed at The War Zone—which he knows because he found a receipt, not because he can remember going, driving, paying; he fucking can’t—a fucking tire lift that he things is better suited to trucks than his Beemer but that’s why he needs it: he need to rip open the earth beneath his feet because maybe his heart died down there with the boy he loves in ways he didn’t know he could, not until he found those reserves of feeling inside him well up for the fact of him and maybe it’s too later for his heart, and maybe his soul’s locked in as a funeral shroud but godadmn it all—
Steve needs to bring Eddie’s body home.
Dropping through he fissure in the ground is second nature, like something calling him through the break and that feel right, because the Upside Down for what it is alone is somewhere Steve never wants to be, never wants to touch: but what it holds now what it stole from him and claimed and kept: Steve wants that back beside him, it doesn’t matter how. Cold, torn, broken, gone—Steve’s already those things himself. Now he’s just a raw nerve, but if that nerve could go numb, could freeze for so much pain, so much abuse and hurt. He feels more for the knowledge of how much things should destroy him; he thinks his body is more of an echo chamber, a void that moves but isn’t…there anymore.
Is here, because he left the best of him, the whole of him here, and he—it creaks in his knees when he hits the ground on the other side, shoots up his spine from the bones of him on contact; it should hurt, it should hurt but he can’t feel so much, and he needs to get his bearings, needs to orient, needs to figure where he is and the quickest way to Forest Hills, to where Eddie—
He can’t feel shit when he’s got a purpose, here: the first he’s had in weeks.
He moves to stand, gets to his feet at—
It’s unexpected, how much he feels the impact that knocks him back down, the weight that pushes him to the ground again and covers him, snarls at him, breathes hot and violent against his jaw, against his neck, and Steve—
Steve’ll die here, that’s clear from the hiss above him, the way he’s pinned like prey, like a meal, and the only thought he really has, in all honesty, is he’ll die here.
But he already died here, so it just feels kinda anticlimactic.
The panting against him keeps up, but it…it doesn’t go anywhere, it doesn’t become other, or more—there’s no teeth, no clawing or biting or ripping him apart, draining him dry. He doesn’t think he was afraid for any of it, exactly; his heart’s pounding but it feels distant, other and something far from him, disconnected: not a part of his shell-self, so he thinks that’s just ingrained, just an automatic response to a demo-something, probably, sizing up its meal but like, it’s not doing anything and Steve, Steve doesn’t…he’s not invested, exactly, he doesn’t even think he cares, but—
He squints his eyes open the barest crack where he’d instinctively squeezed them shut and he looks, expects the toothy petals, or even a veiny body; he looks and—
“Eddie?”
Oh, good. Heart, soul: may as well add losing his fucking mind to this place, too, third time’s a goddamn charm.
Because it’s not Eddie, it can’t be…it can’t be Eddie, and—
Not-Eddie leans into him, presses onto him full-bodied, hips to chest, thighs spread to hold him down like he’s going anywhere because, because…
Steve feels that. He feels the pressure, he feels pain where this body drags against scrapes in Steve’s skin, he feels his heart pounding, Jesus fucking Christ, that fucking hurts, but he looks at the face that’s looming over him, tipped to the side like it’s asking a question, like it’s considering Steve below, and it: the bones are sharper, the skin more pale, more drawn up tight and pulled—the eyes are red, bright like when the lighting cuts the sky, here, but everything else…
“Eddie, oh god,” Steve doesn’t want to question it, Steve doesn’t want to keep his mind if the alternative is moments with some version of Eddie whose breath he can feel again, it’s, he’s;
“Eds,” he chokes, and Eddie’s got him wholly pinned down, he can’t reach for Eddie’s face to cup it, to cradle it, so he lets his breath catch, his lungs hitch, lets the tears burn on their way from his eyes in streams as he twitches his fingers, stretches the tips to brush Eddie’s palm where he holds Steve down and—
Eddie stills, and his eyes narrow, and…
And if Steve has to die here, again: let it be at Eddie’s hands. Let it be maybe for Eddie’s…benefit, he’s wellbeing, however he survives here. Let it be for Eddie.
Always for Eddie.
But then Eddie: Eddie doesn’t let him up, still lean into Steve from the middle, but—he buries his head at Steve’s neck, and breathes in so deep, Steve gets to close his eyes and soak in the feeling of his chest rising into Steve’s own: strong.
Real.
“Known,” Eddie murmurs, shakes his head like he’s trying to shoo a fly, but then a shiver trembles through the whole of him, Steve can trace its trajectory where Eddie’s held against him, and then Eddie growls—it’s not a wholly new sound but it’s deeper, more animal in it than Steve’s ever heard and then he bites out through bared teeth:
“Known.”
Then he draws back from Steve’s neck, studies him shrewdly, a little hesitant, like he’s unsure of whatever’s happening to him, in him: then he nods, chews at his lower lip in a painfully familiar move before his hands leave Steve’s wrists and he’s—
“Known.”
He’s tracing Steve’s cheekbones, the line of his jaw; he’s running his nose against the slope of Steve’s, he’s…it’s like he’s tracing him, and he does it so gentle, he almost like he anticipates it, he’s—
“Known,” and Eddie’s fucking…it’s not a growl this time but somehow whatever it is, is deeper, stronger, and he mouths at Steve’s neck again but instead of breathing him in, he’s sucking at the lines of his arteries down the sides, up and down, and then he follows the blood to the sounds, groans at a pitch Steve’s never heard before but it’s still, it’s sill Eddie, and—
“Hurt?” Eddie mouths at his chest through the layers of his clothes, sounds mournful, stills as he considers something, intent with it before his head pops up, those red eyes so wide and aching as his hands tap against Steve’s arms, frantic and—
Oh.
Oh; they’re tapping out Steve’s heartbeats to every racing clench-give echoing through his ribs and Eddie moans, almost wails, then—
“Hurt,” and he looks frantic, his eyes wild, and his mouth dropped open, bereft and seeking and oh, oh: Eddie thinks his heart’s pounding because he’s hurt, because he’s in pain and kinda, a little bit but not like that and—
“No,” Steve’s quick to try and soothe, even if his voice is barely a rasp; “no, no,” and his wrists are free to he reaches, covers Eddie’s hands and links their fingers together, feels something in him reanimate, come straight back into being just for that touch, and that it’s warm:
“Happy,” Steve gasps, and squeezes Eddie’s hands with force, with feeling; “happy, to see you,” and he closes his eyes in something like relief when Eddie’s mouth stills against his chest again; sighs when Eddie nuzzles there, like he always did, like he belongs because he always belongs.
“So fucking happy,” Steve breathes, and he feels weightless; wonders if he died. If he hit the ground and snapped his neck. If the impact was a monster and not the love of his life, somehow saved from ruin just to save Steve back in kind.
“Mine,” Eddie whispers, a little bit of a hiss for the feeling in it, the intensity sewn in as he mouths around the beat of Steve’s blood: that’s what he means. That’s his, that and everything it powers, everything it lends life.
His.
He pulls back, and Steve bites back a whimper for the loss before Eddie’s eyes find his and he looks…he looks lost, then, grasping, in need as he almost begs, like the answer is the end of all things:
“Mine?”
He lifts one of their joined hands—he doesn’t disentangle them, and fuck if Steve’s ever letting go—but he lifts them to Steve’s chest and holds there, presses down and looks pointedly at the way his palm covers Steve’s heart, looks up in askance, up and down, there and back over and again, more desperate every time and Steve tightens his fingers around Eddie’s and nods, just nods because his voice is gone, his throat’s too tight, he’s—
But Eddie sees it. Eddie understands because Eddie…
Eddie always understands what Steve can’t say.
“Mine,” he exhales like it’s the answer to the universe, like it’s proof of god and the devil, like it’s more than air to breathe and Steve’s…
Steve doesn’t even know what he is. Except: he’s alive.
He died before he left here last time, and now somehow he’s alive.
“Known, s’known,” Eddie mutters, shakes his head slow and pins his gaze on different parts go Steve’s body, touches and looks up to Steve like it serves as confirmation just to meet his gaze, to watch him blink; “know, know,” and Eddie bends again, mouths at his chest and inhales sharp as he rips out, almost feral: “mine,” and then something in him gives, and he falls to Steve’s chest and Steve’s heart skips, the terror in him tangible, but he throws out his hands, lets Eddie’s grasp go to hold Eddie up and Eddie panting, gasping, something has to be wrong—
“St,” Eddie’s voice is sandpaper rough, but…but full somehow and Steve can’t name what it is, save that it makes him feel warm, from the inside, in a way he’d thought was gone forever. It prickles at his eyes and he doesn’t fight the tears:
“Ste,” Eddie coughs a little, and then he looks up, brow furrowed and muscles tight as he locks his eyes on Steve’s and grits out:
“Steve?”
And those eyes: those eyes meet Steve’s now—color in them, that depthless nightshade, drenched in that deep warm chocolate shade: Steve’s breath catches. His heartbeat skips again, but wholly different, and it looks, it feels like a weight’s been lifted; a spell’s been broken. And somehow, somehow even before anything shifted, somehow Eddie, his Eddie, he—
Whatever’s happened, whatever’s been done to him: somehow, deeper than any of it, he kept the love.
“Steve.”
Eddie’s voice shakes and he drops his weight again but this time when he presses against Steve it’s to wrap him close, to hold him a little clumsy, a whole lot desperate, and it…it feels like maybe Steve’s soul where it’s wrapped around Eddie? Like maybe he gets a little bit of it back; like maybe he can inhale and it could mean something again.
Eddie only draws back to tuck his head under Steve’s chin, to dip lower and put his lips to the center of Steve’s chest, to breathe there, like life into the heart of him again and fuck, but he feels it.
He kinda doesn’t need to know anything more, doesn’t need to have any more answers to know whatever this is, whatever Eddie needs: they’ll figure it out. Eddie’s lips are on his chest. His heart’s a mallet against Eddie’s mouth, beats up into the warm rush of his breath: there. Real.
Steve feels it.
also on ao3 🖤
tag list (comment to be added): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson
♥️
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For dialogue ask 22 and Steddie please
Dialogue Prompts
Eddie plopped onto the couch, even making Steve bounce a little as he did.
"What're we watchin'?"
"Some new documentary everyone at work was raving about", Steve answered. "Popcorn?"
"What's it about?"
"I don't think popcorn has a specific creed or anything."
"The doc you doof", Eddie grinned.
"Hmm, try again."
"The doc, you shimmering, gleaming diamond of a man who I have pledged myself to for all eternity."
"Better. And I don't know, they just said it's about some new historic find", Steve shrugged.
"I think if it's that big a deal we would've been there." Eddie grabbed a handful of popcorn.
"Says the guy who took sooo long to pack we missed one of the biggest ships in the world."
Eddie's eyes got wide and he turned his full body to Steve even as the show was starting. "Are you still angry at me for making us miss the Titanic?"
"I'm glad we didn't get on in the end, but we had a good cabin. And I spent a full week scheduling my outfits to coordinate."
"Only you could find a reason to be mad about not being on a sunken ship."
"Shh, they're explaining."
"We've used the most up to date forensics and if we're correct, this couple has been writing love letters for over a century", said one of the historians.
The narrator added, "While this box of letters was found in the 1950s, the notes are dated back to the 1910s."
“That could be us", Eddie teased.
Steve's jaw had dropped. “That is us.”
Eddie blinked in confusion and turned back to the screen, eyes squinting as the camera panned over love letters. A historian held up a drawing of a nude young man that was censored for audiences.
"This pair of lovers wrote back and forth and a few are even accompanied by some of this tasteful artwork."
Steve slapped Eddie's arm. "I told you the movers forgot a box!"
"Ow! Clearly you weren't missing it, it's been at a museum for years!"
"Now everybody who watches netflix has seen that drawing", Steve bemoaned.
Eddie watched as the historians went through more of their things, trying to piece together their eternal lives. "Well, she did say it was tasteful. And I have to agree."
"I know you like it. It was only meant for you." Steve crossed his arms.
"Imagine me, being so far away, learning a new trade. And I open up the mail and get a gift like that", Eddie leaned over and moved some of Steve's hair to kiss behind his ear.
"Yeah, well, I didn't want you to get lonel-is that my wedding ring?!", Steve pushed Eddie away and stood up to get a closer look at the tv. "I'm calling those collectors right now!"
While he stomped off with his phone to try and figure out who to contact, Eddie's eyes narrowed again.
"That was when we got hitched in the 30s! The one I got you now is way better! Steve! Steve?"
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Masterlist 2:
Full Fanfic Masterlist
--
Marvel:
How Peter Parker and Steve Rogers react to their crush asking to play with their hair
Hobie Brown helping trans!male!Reader with dysphoria
Hobie Brown reminding ftm!Reader not to overbind
Hobie Brown turning into a cat and causing chaos in the SpiderSociety
How Miles Morales acts on a rooftop date with another hero
Miles Morales reacting to grieving reader
Miles Morales being caught wearing his guy crushes hoodie
Miles Morales reacting to his crush suddenly asking him out in the middle of a normal conversation
Miles Morales with a younger!sister!reader
Platonic!Miguel O'Hara comforting transmale reader after a breakdown
Miguel O'Hara reacting to reader coming out as trans (ftm)
Miles Morales and Hobie Brown (separate) reacting to male!Reader with brain issues
Miles Morales and Hobie Brown (separate) reacting to male!Reader getting a good grade on an exam
Pavitr Prabhakar and german!male!Reader bonding by learning about each other's cultures
SpiderTeens reacting to gn reader adopting them all
Stranger Things:
Nothing yet!
The Umbrella Academy:
Nothing yet!
Criminal Minds:
Nothing yet!
Hitman Trilogy:
Nothing yet!
Mission: Impossible:
Nothing yet!
FarCry 5:
Nothing yet!
Valorant:
Nothing yet!
Detroit Become Human:
Connor helping male!trans!reader with testosterone shots
Connor helping gn!Reader calm down from a panic attack
Connor with a s/o who's a maladaptive daydreamer
Connor with an insomniac s/o
Connor with a s/o who's a wild/active sleeper
Our Life Beginnings & Always:
Nothing yet!
Error 143:
Nothing yet!
Sally Face:
Nothing yet!
WatchDogs Trilogy:
Nothing yet!
COD: Modern Warfare2:
John Price dealing with being a sleep talker
Konig reacting to short!male!Reader climbing him like a tree to see something
Konig reacting to short!male!Reader being on his shoulders^^Part 2
Ghost, Konig, and Price (separate) reacting to male!Reader with dermatillomania
Ghost and Konig (separate) reacting to having to cuddle up to male!Reader for warmth
Ghost and Konig waking up to cuddling male!Reader ^^Part 2
Ghost and Konig (separate) having M!Reader be their gay awakening
The Imperfects:
Nothing yet!
Encanto:
Nothing yet!
Girl From Nowhere:
Nothing yet!
Metal Lords:
Nothing yet!
Dc Universe:
Batfam being jealous of the readers pet/animal
Batboys reacting to Tim Drake's "bad-boy" boyfriend
Taking care of Batboys (seperately) after they got their wisdom
teeth removed
Batboys reacting to boyfriend!Reader smacking their ass and running away
Batboys + Conner & Wally being caught wearing masc!Readers hoodie
Batfam reacting to Tim Drakes boyfriend who is the Jokers son
^^Batfam reacting to Tim Drakes boyfriend who is the Jokers son pt2^^
Batboys reacting to getting hard during training with M!Reader
Sugar Daddy!Bruce Wayne accidentally falling for male!sugar-baby!reader
Bruce Wayne with an energetic anti-hero husband
Conner Kent accidentally using X-ray vision on trans!male reader
Male!Justice League members reacting to rogue!reader moving out of Gotham and into their city
Jason Todd reacting to male reader falling asleep on him
Jason Todd reacting to a gn reader who can't swim
Injured!Jason Todd waking up to Reader in his hospital room
Damian Wayne with a child!brother!Reader
Damian Wayne being caught wearing his guy crushes hoodie
Dick Grayson reacting to a very cuddly male reader
Dick Grayson waking up his cuddly guy crush
Dick Grayson reacting to a sad!male!Reader needing cuddles
Hal Jordan's (Green Lantern) reaction to reader having a lot of lantern rings
Hal Jordan (Green Lantern) x recovering!male!Readers
Hal Jordan reacting to being bitten by masc!alien!Reader
John Constantine reacting to a food-pusher Reader
John Constantine with a werewolf s/o (gn reader)
Hungover!John Constantine waking up in a caring Readers bed
John Constantine reacting to a male!Reader that reminds him of his younger self
^part 2. John Constantine reacting to similar!male!Reader reading his soul
John Constantine being bullied by a cat in a pub
John Constantine reacting to a Reader that smokes
John Constantine having a demon!Reader be attached to him
John Constantine reacting to reader being turned into a baby
John Constantine reacting to male!Rader lighting his cigarette with John's
Kid Flash (Wally West) reacting to accidentally courting alien!reader
Kid Flash (Wally West) with a night owl boyfriend
Kid Flash (Wally West) accidentally petting one of winged!male!Readers arousal zones
Kid Flash (Wally West) and winged!male!Reader finally getting together
Kid Flash (Wally West) cudding male!naga!Reader
Kid Flash (Wally West) with a partner who's part of the BatFamily
Tim Drake reacting to guy crush reader accidentally cuddling him
Tim Drake reacting to Rogue!Reader flustering him
Tim Drake with a caring and patient boyfriend
Tim Drake with a boyfriend who's very physically affectionate
How Superman, Batman, Hal Jordan, The Flash, and John Constantine react to someone handing them the unconscious reader out of the blue
How Batman and Superman reacting to their long-term partner being their worst enemy
How Wally West, John Constantine, Hal Jordan, Dick Grayson, and Conner Kent react to falling asleep on their crush (male reader)
How Wally West, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and Conner Kent taking care of their drunk guy crush
How Dick Grayson, Wally West, Tim Drake and Conner Kent react to playing seven minutes in heaven with their guy crush
How Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, and John Constantine react to their crush asking to play with their hair
How Tim Drake and Damian Wayne react to their crush randomly asking them out in the middle of a conversation (seperate)
How Justice League boys react to empathic color!alien reader turning pink around them
How Justice League boys react to male!Reader being turned into a cat
How the Young Justice League reacts to a male!Reader with an Eating Disorder
—
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