#Swifties humour

[hamilton---admin]

She wears short skirts, I wear waistcoats!

She's cheer captain and I'm Alexander Hamilton. My name is Alexander Hamilton. And there's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait- Just you wait!

#funny #hamilton musical #lol #hamilton #humour #broadway #memes #alexander hamilton #america #hamilton---admin #YOU BELONG WITH MEEEEE #in case u couldnt tell im a huge swiftie #THE ERAS TOUR MOVIE ANYONE? #seriously i would love to talk about taylor swift with ANYONE #<333

[swiftiethatyouhate]

i’m at a random pub in holbrook where i can see 60 year old men drinking their youth away, and 20 somethings with mullets watching footy on the tv, screaming racial and homophobic slurs at the players, and this pub…

this pub starts playing shake it off.

#aussie humour #taylor swift #swifties #taylorswift #shake it off #australia

[lazykebabvagina]

Not my therapist making me write down "life is worth living even if I don't get Taylor Swift tour tickets" lmao

#is she right? #swiftie #therapy #therapy by maisie peters #maisie peters #eras tour #actually mentally ill #mental illness #bpd #suicide prevention #humour #mental health memes

[theidlespoon]

vigilante shit and no body no crime are the same song in the same way that this is me trying and the archer are the same song in the same way that mirrorball and nothing new are the same song in the same way that new years day and lover are the same song. in this essay i will-

#taylor swift #swifties #in this essay i will #shitpost #textpost #humour #humor #lol #lmao #dark academia #aesthetic #tumblr #lover #red #reputation #folklore #evermore #midnights #1989 #speak now #fearless #parallels #vigilante shit

[alltootayloralisonswift]

five holes in the fence 🤝 five purple gems on the earring

#taylor swift #grammys #speak now #this is a joke btw #swiftie humour

[bluebabybreath]

Taylor Swift finished writing "Love Story" in one hour and here I can't finish a chapter of ten pages in a week.

#taylor swift #love story #humour #song #fav songs #swifties

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Kate (and Georgia as the opener/duet partner) was so good tonight and like I got to see them on an opening night from the front row? Incredible lmao.

#kate miller heidke #i've somewhat changed my mind about wanting Kate as a Eras opener in that like I want to gatekeep her and tbh #i think she'd only really hit with the older (25yo+) Swiftie crowd with her sense of humour which makes me wanna gatekeep more lmao

[wp100]

so happy how far taylor swift has come. she's a raid boss in world of warcraft now. so proud of her 🥰

#this is a joke by the way #context: there's a raid boss called Tindral Sageswift #shortened... he's Tswift #some players call him Taylor Swift #and it gets me every time. i find it hilarious asf #my humour is so dry. forgive me #warcraft #shitpost #before the swifties come for me i dont hate her. i actually like some of her music #im just not a huge fan lol. i dont stan anymore #fictional characters cant harm anyone. theyre the only things i would 'stan' now

[voxpeople]

Refugees from Ukraine Weigh In on Taylor Swift's New Pedicure

As fighting in Ukraine continues to escalate following the invasion of Russian forces, more and more people are being displaced as they flee to avoid the fighting.

We were able to grab a few and showed them pop megastar Taylor Swift's new pedicure, which she unveiled on the latest stop of her Eras tour, and were met with an enthusiastic reaction.

Kateryna, 26, originally from Kyiv: "Oh my god yes, she's rocking the new colour! I so want to see her live if I hadn't spent all I had getting my family out of the country."

Anna, 17, who fled Dnipropetrovsk: "She's perfect down to her toes! What a lucky girl, every look she tries she pulls off!"

Ivan, 56, from Donetsk: "Queen Tay has been such great comfort to us as we try to work out what we're going to do next and wonder if we'll ever be able to go home."

Swift's tour is due to finish in Sao Paolo, Brazil, this week, while leaders in Ukraine try to keep their country safe as the Russian advance continues.

#taylor swift #the eras tour #taylor swift eras #war in ukraine #ukraine #joke #attempt at humor #satire #humour #parody #topical humour #swifties #taylorswift #swiftie #war in europe #russia #stand with ukraine #russo ukrainian war

[miley1442111]

fortnight-f.odair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: yes, i am a swifty- sorry not sorry lmao. I was thinking of doing a story for every track but we'll see how that ends up lol.

intended for fem!reader

summary: based off of fortnight by taylor swift

pairings: finnick odair x fem!reader

warnings: regular hg topics, finnick's backstory, talk of being taken by the capital, talk of cheating, death, no happy ending

the tortured poets department masterlist

I was supposed to be sent away

But they forgot to come and get me

I was a functioning alcoholic

'Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic

All of this to say, I hope you're okay

But you're the reason

And no one here's to blame

But what about your quiet treason?

It had been 10 years since Finnick had seen you. He was in the victor's village. He was a victor. 

He cried himself to sleep every night thinking about you. His girl. 

Yes, you two were only 14 when he left, but he loved you all the same. Your soft smiles, good humour and eternal kindness. Every touch from one of the capitalites made him sick to his stomach, he was supposed to be for you. He had wanted to marry you, even when he was a young boy. He knew that you were it for him. 

And for a fortnight there we were forever running

'Til you sometimes ask about the weather

Now you're in my backyard turned into good neighbours

Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her

But, upon his joining of District 13, he saw you with your husband. James. You two were perfect. You were headstrong and he was supportive. He laughed at nothing other than your witty jokes. You essentially only smiled at him. Finnick felt sick to his stomach. 

He wanted your husband dead. Finnick had not waited a decade to find out that you loved someone else. He saw every smile, every beauty mark, everything about you. He bet James didn’t even know that your childhood dream was to become a vet and take care of the wildlife creatures in District 4. James was slimy in Finnick’s opinion. He was handsy with you, constantly touching you inappropriately, truthfully, it was disgusting. He could see you becoming visibly uncomfortable but staying quiet. 

He stayed quiet too. 

All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February

I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

And I love you, it's ruining my life

I love you, it's ruining my life

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you, but I touched you

He decided to try and move on, try to forget you. Then you were taken, taken during a failed mission to get Peeta back. 

When they got you back, you were like a rabid animal. You screamed and screamed for him. 

For Finnick. 

And for a fortnight there we were forever running

'Til you sometimes ask about the weather

Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbours

Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her

And for a fortnight there we were together running

'Til you sometimes come and tug my sweater

Now you're at the mailbox turned into good neighbours

My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him

James discarded you, favouring a new girl who’d come in. Finnick nursed you back to health, helping you remember everything. He even told you about James’s cheating. You seemed unsurprised. 

“He’s cheating on you,” Finnick admitted. “I’m so sorry.”

You just shrugged, pulling your knees to your chest. “I know.”

“What?” He questioned.

“He’s been cheating his entire time. It’s ok with me, I don’t love James,” you whispered. 

“Then why did you marry him?” He asked, genuinely in disbelief. 

“You never came home,” You shrugged. 

His heart stopped. You still loved him. You still wanted him. 

“I’m here now,” he smiled and you smiled back. 

“Good,” you pressed your lips to his. “I’m here now too.”

He smiled and kissed you again.

I love you, it's ruining my life

I love you, it's ruining my life

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you, I touched you

I love you, it's ruining my life

I love you, it's ruining my life

I touched you for only a fortnight

I touched you, I touched you

Then came getting to the capital. Finnick went with them, he was back-up to make sure everything went well. It had only been a fortnight since you’d gotten together, but it was the happiest two weeks of either of your lives. 

Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up

'Nother fortnight lost in America

Move to Florida, buy the car you want (Car you want)

But it won't start up 'til you touch, touch, touch me

Thought of calling ya, but you won't pick up

'Nother fortnight lost in America

Move to Florida, buy the car you want

But it won't start up 'til I touch, touch, touch you

He never came home. You only had him for a fortnight. Yet, he died happy, his last thoughts of your beautiful face.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the tortured poets department masterlist

#thg finnick #finnick #finnick imagine #finnick odair #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair x reader #finnick x reader #hunger games finnick #finnick x you #taylor swift #the eras tour #tay tay #swifties #the tortured poets department #tpdds

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hello hello, can you please make a oneshot for Gun inspired by the song cardigan made by Taylor, I'm really craving for it so baddddd. It's ok if you don't. No pressure dear.

FUCK YES FUCK YES. MY WORLDS COLLIDING. ANYTHING FOR A FELLOW SWIFTIE. It's er... it's very on the nose. Sorry! And quite a few other references too.

Gun Park x Reader: Enough

It was Crystal that spotted your face in the crowd, a flower amongst the weeds, and Goo that egged Gun on.

Gun extends his hand, asking if you had met before and inviting you to dance; taking a chance on you providing better company than the rest of the bodies at this stuffy function.

Never flinching from his blackened eyes, you say yes, and sway to the music together.

You took his hand and now you take him home.

Gun walks by your side, the music still echoing in your ears, alcohol in your bloodstream. You sway this time together under the moonbeam and streetlights. His eyes full of humour, hands on your waist, yours on his shoulders.

.

.

You didn't ask for loyalty and Gun never felt like he owed you any.

It could have been enough. The way he looks at you, dark eyes softening. The days and nights spent together, filling your evenings and weekends with one another.

But you see his attention waning, feel his distractions.

So you ask for it. Once.

Gun tells you that he could give no such promises, it's not the way he is. He doesn't hide his nature, or shy away from your questions. Gun tells you you're his favourite, offering up a consolation prize for his lack of fidelity.

It's not enough.

.

.

Gun tries to forget about you.

Yet the ghost of your perfume lingers on his clothes and on his pillows.

Strangers drift in and out of his bed, but Gun can only taste you on his lips.

He wakes in the night from dreams where he hears your voice, and feels bitter disappointment as a nameless person, whose face he cannot recall, sleeps in your space. A brutal reminder of your absence.

It's Goo that once again gives him the push he needs, his own patience worn thin at Gun's explosive temper and lack of focus. He tells Gun that he needs to fix whatever is wrong with him.

.

.

You find Gun on your doorstep, illuminated under your porch light.

He asks if you think about him, because he always thinks about you.

You are an infuriating interruption in his life that he does not need, but he desperately craves.

You bring out a side of him he didn't know he had and is not used to, but he can with you by his side.

Gun tells you he wants to experience all the highs and lows with you. Just you.

He asks if this is enough, and it is.

#this was hard #and not very good #sorry swiftie :( #lookism #lookism x reader #lookism headcanons #lookism hc #lookism fic #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #gun park #gun park x reader #park jonggun x reader #park jonggun #wannaeatramyeon

[volterran-wine]

Soooo, I read that u went to see Taylor's new movie... does that mean volterran wine is a fellow swiftie? 💅 And can I please request volturi with lyrics from Taylor?? like what fits best?? Love ur blog 💜

• — 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢 & 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐋𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬

While this is a crossover I usually would not indulge, Volterran Wine cannot deny that Miss Swift has wrecked her teenage years, her twenties and probably will continue doing so in her thirties.

So dearest Anonymous, I will humour you this time and give my opinion on what lyrics of Miss Swift would suit our vampires the best.

𝐀𝐫𝐨: "I should not be left to my own devices, they come with prices and vices, I end up in crisis." — Anti Hero.

𝐂𝐚𝐢𝐮𝐬: "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me together again." — The Archer

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬: "You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now?" — Exile.

𝐒𝐮𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚: "You see, all the wisest women had to do it this way, cause' we were born to be the pawn in every lover's game." — Mastermind.

𝐀𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚: "And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad, I have a lot of regrets about that." — this is me trying.

𝐃𝐢𝐝𝐲𝐦𝐞: "She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head." — Champagne Problems.

—

𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐢: "The more that you say, the less I know. Wherever you stray, I follow. I'm begging you to take my hand - wreck my plans, that's my man." — Willow.

𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐱: "There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair." — The Great War.

𝐉𝐚𝐧𝐞: "They're burning all the witches even if you aren't one, so light me up." — I Did Something Bad.

𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐜: "You're on your own, kid. You always have been." — You're On Your Own, Kid.

𝐇𝐞𝐢𝐝𝐢: "When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breath." — Clean.

𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐚: "I didn't have it in myself to go with grace. And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves." — my tears ricochet.

𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧: "There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen" — the last great american dynasty.

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐚: "When I walk in the room I can still make the whole place shimmer." — Bejeweled.

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐨𝐧: "I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me." — Long Story Short.

𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐨: "I'm dancin' on my own, I make the moves up as I go" — Shake it Off.

#Volturi Questionnaire #Aro Volturi #Caius Volturi #Marcus Volturi #Sulpicia Volturi #Athenodora Volturi #Didyme Volturi #Demetri Volturi #Felix Volturi #Jane Volturi #Alec Volturi #Heidi Volturi #Renata Volturi #Corin Volturi #Chelsea Volturi #Afton Volturi #Santiago Volturi #The Taylor Swift Debacle

[lonelyroommp3]

who the hell is actually voting for jesus on your poll???? remember when this webbed site had a sense of humour...

well you see you vote for taylor swift if you want to get one over on christians and you vote for jesus if you want to get one over on swifties. this is why the poll is so close. it's precision engineered to appeal to two of tumblr's most vocal hater factions in equal but opposing measure. this is my design

[lingthusiasm]

Lingthusiasm Episode 91: Scoping out the scope of scope

When you order a kebab and they ask you if you want everything on it, you might say yes. But you'd probably still be surprised if it came with say, chocolate, let alone a bicycle...even though chocolate and bicycles are technically part of "everything". That's because words like "everything" and "all" really mean something more like "everything typical in this situation". Or in linguistic terms, we say that their scope is ambiguous without context.

In this episode, your hosts Lauren Gawne and Gretchen McCulloch get enthusiastic about how we can think about ambiguity of meaning in terms of scope. We talk about how humour often relies on scope ambiguity, such as a cake with "Happy Birthday in red text" written on it (quotation scope ambiguity) and the viral bench plaque "In Memory of Nicole Campbell, who never saw a dog and didn't smile" (negation scope ambiguity). We also talk about how linguists collect fun examples of ambiguity going about their everyday lives, how gesture and intonation allow us to disambiguate most of the time, and using several scopes in one sentence for double plus ambiguity fun.

Read the transcript here.

Announcements:

In this month’s bonus episode we get enthusiastic about the forms that our thoughts take inside our heads! We talk about an academic paper from 2008 called "The phenomena of inner experience", and how their results differ from the 2023 Lingthusiasm listener survey questions on your mental pictures and inner voices. We also talk about more unnerving methodologies, like temporarily paralyzing people and then scanning their brains to see if the inner voice sections still light up (they do!).

Join us on Patreon now to get access to this and 80+ other bonus episodes. You’ll also get access to the Lingthusiasm Discord server where you can chat with other language nerds. Also: Join at the Ling-phabet tier and you'll get an exclusive “Lingthusiast – a person who’s enthusiastic about linguistics,” sticker! You can stick it on your laptop or your water bottle to encourage people to talk about linguistics with you. Members at the Ling-phabet tier also get their very own, hand-selected character of the International Phonetic Alphabet – or if you love another symbol from somewhere in Unicode, you can request that instead – and we put that with your name or username on our supporter Wall of Fame! Check out our Supporter Wall of Fame here, and become a Ling-phabet patron here!

Here are the links mentioned in the episode:

Wikipedia entry for Everything Bagel

'Shel Silverstein's hot dog and the domain of "everything"' post on Language Log

Wikipedia entry for 'Scop' (an oral poet)

'New publication: Reported evidentiality in Tibeto-Burman languages' post on Superlinguo

Wikipedia entry for Tom Swifty

'Bench in honour of Nicole Campbell, who never saw a dog and didn't smile' post on All Things Linguistic

WALS entry for Feature 144B: Position of negative words relative to beginning and end of clause and with respect to adjacency to verb

'A few notes on negative clauses, polarity items, and scope'

'I didn't ask you to kill him' Learning English post on sentence stress and meaning

'I didn't ask you to kill him' sentence stress example in action by @dheanasaur on TikTok (⚠︎warning, loud sound)

Non-manual Markers in ASL / NMM's

'The Impulse to Gesture: Where Language, Minds, and Bodies Intersect' by Simon Harrison

'Quantifier Scope Jokes' post on All Things Linguistic

'Caring for your baby since 1890' ambiguity post on All Things Linguistic

You can listen to this episode via Lingthusiasm.com, Soundcloud, RSS, Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also download an mp3 via the Soundcloud page for offline listening.

To receive an email whenever a new episode drops, sign up for the Lingthusiasm mailing list.

You can help keep Lingthusiasm ad-free, get access to bonus content, and more perks by supporting us on Patreon.

Lingthusiasm is on Bluesky, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Mastodon, and Tumblr. Email us at contact [at] lingthusiasm [dot] com

Gretchen is on Bluesky as @GretchenMcC and blogs at All Things Linguistic.

Lauren is on Bluesky as @superlinguo and blogs at Superlinguo.

Lingthusiasm is created by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our senior producer is Claire Gawne, our production editor is Sarah Dopierala, our production assistant is Martha Tsutsui Billins, and our editorial assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is ‘Ancient City’ by The Triangles. This episode of Lingthusiasm is made available under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike license (CC 4.0 BY-NC-SA).

#linguistics #language #lingthusiasm #episodes #podcast #podcasts #episode 91 #scope #ambiguity #scope ambiguity #linguist humour #SoundCloud

[thealogie]

[letterman anon] sorry. the thing is, your blog is full of "i have the best media opinions and everyone else is wrong and stupid" 24/7. and it's like, no, people can have wrong opinions or state something that misses the point if they are not following it deeply, and they shouldn't be spoken down to for that. so i guess i'm guilty of that in this case, but is it fair to say you sometimes overdo it with your "me and my 5 mutuals are the only cool smart people here and everyone else needs to be educated like they are 16" humour? and btw re media training, fun fact - letterman's been working on his image makeover for a few years now (from whenever he launched "my next guest") because young people have gotten to know him as an old creepy misogynistic cheater late night host and he's been trying to get with the times and be sensitive and up-to-date and "yaaas women", and it's clearly working because he doesn't seem disingenuous about it and has actually been learning/listening and at this point comes across less out of touch than conan for example (hilarious), and clearly he/his team were thinking "how do we make our tiktok account popular?" and arrived at the answer-be hip and befriend swifties-which is why he's out there saying cool correct things about tswift and the wild media hate surrounding her NFL hangouts. and he combined it with a sketch because he's a comedian and has a job to do, as much as he looks like he has no clue where the fuck he is, he's still very sharp and dry, bla bla. so here's to all kinds of problematic celebs (tswift herself included) having awesome pr teams and constantly coming out on top no matter how much they fuck up :))) and here's to us thinking critically about why so many famous people are suddenly fun and relatable and quirky and gay and "giving tumblrina"

-signing off, let's say another random anon in the long line of random anons on your blog dropping random facts about famous people you don't care for (i meant no disrespect but perhaps a nudge for you to reexamine your way of communicating with strangers also)

I can’t stop laughing. This is also not a normal thing to say to a stranger. Yeah thanks. I’ll for sure be taking internet etiquette lessons from the person who sent me two of the most obnoxious asks in recent memory

[evermoredeluxe]

top tier swiftie humour (via x)

#arshia talks