#THAT I NEDD TO WRITE MY THESIS are in the library !!! that is closed!!!!! I AM SO ANGRY my fury has literally no limits

[finaledenialist]

you know what i decided i don't want 'back to normal after covid thing'. because it wasn't fucking normal. i want things to change and capitalism to DIE

#i am extra salty today so here's the rest of todays story because i had a major breakdown today and it was UGLY #i am so fucking overwhelmed with elearning in uni bc they assign us so much stuff to write now and i wouldn't be that mad if it wasn't so mu #*so much or if we had conditions to do this at home #like i don't even have my own room and i always did my essays in library or something because i can not focus at home for the love of god it #it's too loud and messy #and you know how many past-deadline essays i have yet to write? a bazilion. and not to mention i was to get my degree this year #but it requires wiritng a thesis and guess what - i don't have time energy or silent conditions to do it #so after smoking half of a pack of cigarettes because i had a serious breakdown today (wow i survived without a breakdown for 30 days straig #in this lockdown thing this is an accomplishment) i decided: fuck it i am not gonna do this. i am stopping stressing about it. #if uni will make me problems i will move heaven and hell write every petition do everything to prove #that it's because the elearning thing SUCKED ASS AND IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO DO THE ASSIGNMENTS i am unable. i am physically and mentall #mentally UNABLE to continue living under that much stress for another... month? months? things won't just magically #and snap back to normal! and we should stop pretending they will! THE STRESS IS EATING ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT #and i can joke all i want about spending days thinking about fictional characters and all but always #in the back of my head there are USELESS ESSAYS TO WRITE that won't even be properly graded and the effort to write them #won't be noticed because lecturers are also human beings and how many papers can you focus on while grading??? #we were not assigned this much when we were having normal classes because this is the last year the last semester of our studies #and we were supposed to focus on our thesis and development !!! and i can't do that because all the materials #THAT I NEDD TO WRITE MY THESIS are in the library !!! that is closed!!!!! I AM SO ANGRY my fury has literally no limits #i refuse to live lika that under constant stress u can get cancer from this shit #personal #ugh sorry but like if anyone read all of this know that i am very sorry pls ignore me i am just having a shitty day #:((((( #gonna reblog some destiel stuff