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katherinewilliams221b · 3 years

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For A Greater Good Fun Facts and Self Assesment (spoilers)

Long Post

What worked and what didn’t:

I think the overall structure worked pretty well. The most difficult part was, with the plot and subplot already created, scattering all those ideas throughout the text in such a way that at least made some sense. I regret not writing more about Mer Yankelevich, I feel like the crumbs I left on the way were not enough; in my attempt to make it subtle it lacked information about her. The key piece was of course her sister, and I should have introduced her sooner.

MC’s evolution. I feel like Kate’s learnt a lot with this experience (I’m not only referring to the Deathly Hallows or Grindelwald) When it started, she was very discreet and kept a low profile, not knowing what to do really, not taking more risks than necessary. And then she ended poisoned and splinching just to protect a document she thought was important. I hope her evolution is noticeable for the reader.

Worldbuilding. Grabbing HP concepts that were forgotten and full of potential, plus a dash of original ideas from me and blending them with muggle features was my absolute favourite part of the process.

On that note, I dont own these concepts: Durmstrang, Igor Karkarov, Nerida Vulchanova, umbrella flowers, fanged geraniums, billywigs, Appare Vestigium, glow-worms, trick wand, chamaleon ghouls,

If you’ve read the fic and thought: “everything happened so fast” or got a general odd feeling about the timeline it's because I made a series of monumental mistakes: setting a chapter limit, telling you about it and then tried to stick to it. At first the idea sounded nice: this is my first “big” story with complicated components. I should (and I did) do an outline of what I want to happen in each chapter and stick to it methodically so I don't forget what's happening or lose track of the plot. Well...it kind of backfired. So I wrote the first 3 chapters and at that point I thought “okay everything is going as planned, I’m going to put it out there”, bam, instantly cursed. After that it got ridiculously difficult to make the story that I wanted. Why? I needed chapter space that I convinced myself I couldn’t add. Dumb.

The major consequence of this was the lack of character backgrounds. It started out good, but as I kept writing and publishing I realised that I missed some great opportunities to make amazing ocs. That’s Corentin’s fault in a way: he wasn't going to be a major character, really, just a piece to help Kate a bit. But we all fell in love with him so what was I supposed to do? Also, Sheyi Mawut owns my heart and he got just a bit of spotlight. A shame.

I wish I had written more about them, but I think I wasn’t ready just yet to make it even more complicated.I just wanted to prove I could concoct a mystery plot and now that I know I can manage a fair amount of information I think I can take it a step further and deepen new ocs a little bit more.

I’m thinking about the datura series and I know why I got blocked and tired of writing it; it wasnt going anywhere because I wasnt prepared, and I didn’t do the months of outlines and planning that I did with this one. I’ll come back to the datura story one day, subjecting it to a sever rewrite. The ideas are there, I just need to be organised.

Although the chapter limit was problematic it was also a good exercise of managing space and deciding which things were unnecessary for the story. I dont think there’s any filler chapters, perhaps the last ones, but there is important information there too so... However this sentence from the blog wordsandstuff reassured me (and I think I did a good job at that?)

If you set out to write 10 parts and you write a fantastic story in 8, you haven’t failed and it’s not too rushed. Concise writing is an underrated talent. Focus on how effectively you engage the reader, not for how long.

I spent more than year writing this! When I started, I had a lot of ideas, I wrote the last two chapters then the first 3 and I really thought it was going to be that way with the rest of the story... okay... lesson learnt. #humbled

Other thoughts:

I received a couple of comments on ao3 that said that they were pleasantly surprised. Maybe I should change the tags because they are misleading? Clearly this wasnt what people were looking for lol.

One particular comment stood out to me and quoting it said: “You did not choose the easy way with a fiction with so few characters from the fandom.” And I’ve been thinking about this since I read it. It didn’t occur to me that there were few mystery fics (maybe I should write more things like that? Maybe throwing some power couple detective work 👀 ) In any case, I’m glad I contributed with something different to the fandom, and the fact that the Charlie bits are very scarce but people who read it still liked it is really flattering.

I wanted to make sure that all the characters had strengths and flaws, I didnt want to severus-snape them so maybe I overdid it with that bit of introspection kate does at the end...

Also, I did the kiss and fade thing twice to mention sex. I know some people dont like that but since it wasnt the point of the story and I havent done research on how to write sex scenes I didnt include them. I have that on my “to learn” list.

Conclusions:

Writing the whole thing was incredible. It's my first ‘big’ project and its not a great work (there are some things I wish I did better, thats what you get when you are an agatha christie wannabe) and not writing more character backgrounds will haunt me to this day, but I think it's at least good for a first series and I’m proud of it. I loved spending hours doing research and trying to piece together this puzzle. And of course I’m not an expert and I dont want to sound pretentious (like this is my first story) but if you are planning to write this type of genre I can be another source of tips and tricks for you.

If I read the story after a while and I dont cringe, I would call that a success.

FUN? FACTS!

Bakunawa really belongs to Filippines mythology

Snapdragons have different meanings, one of them being: “grace under pressure or inner strength in trying circumstances”

The entrance to Grindelwald’s room was going to be in the duelling classroom, strangely shaped as a triangle. I had this system where one of the round candle lamps descended and lined up with a line on the floor (serving as separation for duels) it created the Deathly Hallows symbol. I couldn’t make that work because it wouldn't make any sense for Nerida Vulchanova to shape a room like that. Here are some sketches:

Lucius Malfoy was going to appear as the Ministry employee that goes to Durmstrang, but after revising the events of the OoP I realised it was impossible.

Kent Jorgensen was going to be around Kate’s age and the charms teacher and he would have a small crush on her. After seeing some pics of Pen Medina, I rewrote the character completely.

The series was going to be 6 chapters long (I’m glad I decided not to) one for each month. The chapter names were ridiculous: January of Beginnings, February of reputation, March of Students, April of Discoveries, May I? and June of Endings. #tragic

The Dolohov family was going to be a part of the plot but I had to erase that part because it was unlocking another layer of complexity that I just couldnt handle.

I dont remember exactly the chapter but I got really confused with the names Rhode and Hodges and there’s one chapter where I accidentally mixed them (I corrected it I think), but for a while I could stop calling Rhode, Hodges, and vice versa lmao

Here are some sketches that helped me describe and imagine things

Thank you for accompany me in this journey, especially if you endured the process with me lmao. You’ve been here for over A YEAR! <3 Mindblowing

Also I’d love to know your opinions about the way you read the story, I mean, I know some people read it as I published, and some other readers found the story already finished, what are the differences? Should I stop the updating system and drop a story all at once? I know it is difficult to keep up with a complex story if there’s a lot of weekly or monthly gaps between the chapters, so I wanted to know.

Sending you a virtual hug 💜💜

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hereisisa · 5 years

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Hi there, Been reading your posts for a while now and I wanted to ask you a question if thats ok. How do you feel about an engagement happening. I personally don't want it happen because to me it doesn't make sense and even if its a subplot I just don't see it. I think the movie would do just fine without it, but i'd love to hear your thoughts if its ok.

Hi! If you read me before I suppose you know I’m not a fan of it either. And not just because I ship elsanna….cause that’s fanon. Not happening in the movie. But I reject the “oh you don’t like it cause it ruins your ship” accusation I’ve heard around.

First of all: the more than 4000 followers I have here know that I’ve shipped fanon in all my fandoms since I’ve joined tumblr (and before even tumblr existed).

Always, in every fandom. I think THAT is exciting. When 2 people get together the fun is over (MY OPINION!)I like the “will they won’t they” feeling, the excitement, looking at hints, small details in their not-romantic relationship…..it’s who I am as a shipper!

Of course reality is very different. In the real life I would hate to be left in doubt/waiting even for a day. But this is not real life, this is “ships”, and I do like fanon more than canon.I’m also never satisfied when a couple I ship in fanon becomes canon, cause I think most of times fans are more creative with their art and fanfiction, and they have too high expectations when a couple they love becomes canon.It’s probably because fans spend hours to dream of scenarios, obsess over the little things, and TV/cinema doesn’t have time for that.

Even the best writer/producer/director will have to be limited in a space and time, and the product will suffer from it.

Fanon gives you endless possibilities (of course fans of canon can dream/create scenarios in their mind, etc….too, but I do really like the “will they won’t they”, the slow burn, the feelings growing and the idea of forbidden love.

Ok sorry, I’m going off topic. I said this to explain why I don’t even want to hear the silly “it ruins your ship” cause….hello?! It’s fanon, the only one who can ruin it, IT’S ME!

I can read elsanna fanfictions now that Anna’s not engaged and I will do it even IF she will be. Nothing changes. I’m still here reading Swan Queen fanfiction and it’s been....ages! lol

Now….back to your question….How do I feel?

I wouldn’t like it for many different reasons. I know there are fans who like it and would just answer with a “but….” to every one of my points, but since you asked ME….

- I don’t think after being separated for many years, 3 years are enough to mend a relationship.

- I think 21 is really too young to have “many kids”. I know it probably was ok in the 1800 but the kids watching this movie don’t live in 1800. I think of how I was at 21 and omg I was a baby! so glad I waited to be 33 to try to get pregnant.

- the Anna and Kristoff’ relationship wasn’t explored enough. We didn’t see them getting closer, taking the necessary steps that would make me say “oh yeah, I get it”. I’m still at the “I love you baby” he said in a song and she was so surprised like she never heard it before, and no other development after that. We barely see any progression of her relationship with Kristoff in the shorts, and now “marriage”?! Woah. How can I follow that?!I get it, it’s just a kids movie, but you made this question to me so this is my list. Some points make more sense, others less, but that’s it.

- I really don’t want them to waste too much time on the proposal thing cause it’s the least interesting element to me. Every second spent on that, is a second stolen to Elsa and Anna’s journey. And even if he’s a part of their life (yes, both Elsa and Anna’s life), there are other things I find more interesting.

- I don’t think they are ready, either of them. She’s a princess, let me see he can deal with that before a proposal, otherwise it seems rushed.

- But honestly, it’s mostly the old classic disney’s happy ending that it’s not appealing to me. I know many think it’s ok, but frankly it’s just “meh” to me.

- I want them to explore more of the Elsa and Anna relationship, considering they have been in different scenes for most of F1, and I would prefer the focus to stay on that.

- for what we know of the storyline, with Elsa dying to save Arendelle…..I don’t think that saving her sister and leaving her right after to get married makes much sense for Anna.

- It’s a movie about sisters and sisterly love…I know they are allowed to have relationships with other people ;) but I think an engagement will take away the focus from their relationship. I know they’re growing, but this is too fast for me. Take it slower.I know 3 years are passed but we did NOT SEE THEM. I don’t know what’s happened in those 3 years and they can’t make me “feel” the changes in a scene or 2. These things take time.

Every one of these points can be disproved by a storyline in the movie, of course. I just don’t think it can happen in the span of ONE movie. (Unless the movie is ALL about it, and we’ll see 1 hour and half of kristanna, and we already know it’s not.)So I’m sure that when it will happen I will still find it rushed and wrong. Will I give a fuck? I’ll still be here shipping elsanna and reading fanfics. :)

Please be nice and do not repost this or part of this elsewhere, thank you. It’s not about credits, it’s cause if I’ll see it reposted people of the other ship will comment, I’ll come to defend my point of view, we’ll fight, etc….

#elsanna

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princesssarcastia · 6 years

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BLACK PANTHER

IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!

(spoilers)

There were so many women!!!! women everywhere!! badass female warriors, strong female politicians, baby tech genius shuri!!!!! women can be different things and all still be fleshed out strong characters!!!! its like women are really people too!!!!!! I'm not sure if it was a bechdel test pass (actually I think it wasn’t) but honestly?? doesn't really bother me because it was almost like, you know, women exist and not just to be ur relationship eye-candy sexpot, and also take up half the population!!! a m a z i n g, I love women.

T’challa is wonderful, absolutely incredible. real emotional conflict over his father’s actions, over having to kill his cousin, over Wakanda’s isolationism. a badass, but also a dork around people he cares about. trying so. hard. to do what's best for his people. finding a balance between helping and becoming what he and the rest of his people abhor. fantastic, 8/10 because?? almost too perfect. I'm just kidding, there’s no such thing, its a 10/10.

shuri is the genius-teenaged-brother-dragger-memelord I was promised. combines love of her people with a disregard for their traditions, which causes political tension with other important figures in her country, a fantastic subplot. but! that moment when she calls for her ancestors with her mother and Nakia shows she still has respect and faith for the core of their beliefs, despite being a modernist/futurist/teenager. a good balance. two-thumbs up.

Nakia serves her country and her fellow women/people so beautifully I wanted to cry a little bit. the opening scene?? her mission??? phenomenal. yes, she is a love interest a little bit, but u know what? she’s also her own person, with her own beliefs, and they wrote her very well. would I have liked to see more of her being her own person? yes, but this isn’t a movie about her, its a movie about t’challa, so thats not necessarily a critique of the movie, just some vague needs fanfic can fix.

(is it possible to overstate how much I like the amount of women in this film?? no it is not. the previous record-holder, Thor, at a grand total of four (4) women has been blown out of the water. suck it, marvel, I'm gonna hold every other movie you make from this point on to this standard. this many women, minimum, in every movie)

Okoye!! my fav. badass. hardass. is married/with someone pretty solidly, but its a footnote on her backstory/exposition until that rhino stops and she gives W’Kabi a fucking l o o k. (damn is he gonna get it. I kinda wanna be a fly on the wall for that conversation. for the angst and the put-down). The duty-bound warrior who has to choose between personal feelings, what is right, and what is tradition. She fills the trope very well, and leads her squad of women(!!) admirably. there’s real conflict in her decisions that you can see, viscerally, in her eyes. as you all know, I am here for the emotions.

(okay another word about the women. there’s a moment, in the final big battle, where there’s a woman who shows up; she’s one of the Jabari warriors, there to kick ass, and I just...appreciated that there were women there who were devoid of emotional meaning to the main characters, and outside of the Designated All-Woman Group™. she had her teeth bared and she was in the full warrior get-up it was a moment.)

Ramonda seems pretty awesome, ngl. Classy older women are my jam.

ERIK KILLMONGER! Killing it up in here with these visceral criticisms of colonial culture, the slave trade, global racism and politics. here to start the fucking revolution. he’s so angry!!! angry is my favorite type of character. loves his father, tries to love wakanda for his sake, but in the end sees it mostly as a tool to meet his own ends. great character, I wish they hadn't killed him but damn!! what a way to go out! that quote, man, imma put it here because I love it so much. it speaks to his entire character in a way I don’t think I can:

“Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped from the ships because they knew death was better than bondage”

he got his wakandan sunset with his cousin and I...enjoyed it so much.

m’baku was really good. I think he was my favorite character from the political plot line. yes he has legitimate criticisms of those in power, who he took direct action to try and stop, but he’s also a really solid dude who will do the right thing for his people, and wakanda as a whole. (t’challa still totally owes him one, tho). I’m not even sure why I like him so much, just that I really...really do. maybe it was the vegetarian joke. maybe it was promising ramonda would be safe and t’challa trusting his word absolutely. maybe it was the last minute rescue. ......(it was probably the vegetarian joke)

not too much Martin freeman, just enough to drive the plot foreword and prove Nakia’s point for her. a solid, confused dude, following the orders of the teenaged-girl genius.

One moment I loved was when Klaue brought up el dorado?? the incorporation of real myths into their world building was another moment I loved, and it makes so much sense!!! the fantastic rich future city, it was in Africa the whole time. excuse me while my world building-loving self cries in the corner.

You’ll notice there’s a lot here about the characters, and thats because they were my favorite part. If I have any criticisms of the movie (and I do. gentle ones, but they exist) its that the plot was a little...easy. Don’t get me wrong, the emotions these actors infused it with made it worth the watch. But the plot was a little...”meh? okay. yeah, I can see that.” you know? it missed some of the foreword drive present in the best mcu movies.

they focused a lot on world building, which didn't help their plot problem. the world building was necessary, don't get me wrong. and god, what a world to build!! but still.

obviously, being, as mylordshesacactus puts it, “whiter than drywall”, I’m not the right person to speak to representation in this movie beyond the general female aspect (which. I think I've made my point about). but from what everyone who is the right person is saying, its amazing, so.

Does this make my top ten marvel movies? absolutely. my top five? maybe. I’ll have to see it again before I can know for sure.

(women!!! ......okay I'm done)

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shiningrey · 6 years

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thoughts on tlj

so its no secret that im not the biggest fan of riad johnstones fucking flaming mess of a movie. and i think finally, after a slew of smaller rants, i’m finally emotionally stable enough to summarise how i feel about tlj as a whole star wars movie; my views on which can be summarised in a quote from this awesome review; ‘the impersonal nature of star wars is starting to give me the creeps’ (and fuck how it is). through its awkward dialogue (and awkward delivery), odd and jarring self depreciating comedy, broad mischaracterisation, sweeping commercialisation, unnecessary subplots and resulting laborious run time, and overall complete lack of any creative, visual, narrative and underlying thematic originality and flair that defined the original trilogy, this blunderous commercial failed to resonate with a large percentage of audiences (myself included). hating this movie the way that i do has made me unbearably upset, just really fucking sad, because i love star wars, i love its characters and creative originality, its unique flavour. tlj has kind of just left this behind completely. and trust me, we’re allowed to critique this film because when one is given all the materials to make a star wars movie (namely $200 million), there is little excuse for producing something that is anything less than incredible, plot holes and flaws become inexcusable.

(cont under the cut, spoilers obv)

for general cohesion i’ll list my arguments in dot points (because if i write paragraphs i’ll just start getting sad again and ranting) - this mostly has to do with characters as opposed to broader narrative issues

➣ the complete disrespect and mischaracterisation of luke. his character integrity and development is sacrificed (and even regressed) purely for the purpose of rian johnson’s shitty marvel-esque humor. (which i talk about here)

➣ THE HUMOR. oh my god, its absolutely strange, terrible and out of place. its self aware and self depreciating, completely ignoring the flavour of past star wars humor. (for example the alien tiddy scene, the poe and hux scene?) ‘A phrase often repeated in reviews is that the movie is self aware, and they’re applauding that as though it is a new benchmark in intelligent filmmaking. For me this isn’t the venue for that. The constant winking to the audience is not boldness, but a lack of confidence in the material. It was hyper colloquial, trying to be hip’ x. this is a good example too

➣ finn & rose’s entire subplot was a literal sidelining of poc characters, the narrative of which ultimately culminates to.. absolutely nothing? they add maybe 40 minutes to the run time but contribute absolutely fucking nothing to the plot. the story seemed to target the audiences ‘feels’ but seemed strangely devoid of emotion (explained well here), and sadly i think the romance felt forced (despite this i think kelly and john did an awesome job and i love them both)

➣ REY is completely shunted into just another character in kylos redemption arc, which feels like such huge disrespect to a character that i love and look up to, my thoughts on this summarised in this awesome post. (and kylo mostly sulks for the majority of the film? i literally cant take him seriously as a villain anymore, and this)

➣ snoke was just killed off? we learned absolutely nothing of what ‘it’ is, character background & motivations, why is it so powerful with the force etc. such a waste. same arguments can be made for phasma.

➣ hux, who is established as what could possibly be a genuinely threatening, and interesting character in tfa, is immediately shunted into a comedic role, literally just there to diffuse the tension (the tension being a huge part of what makes these films fun to watch). this is one of the most obvious examples of jj’s hard work on tfa going to waste, a whole character is now absolute trash. i mean watching this (hux’s speech) it becomes so evident that rian has squandered his potential (and domnhall is an amazing actor as well so like yeah...what a fucking waste)

➣ the dialgoue.. the characters bark out their inner monologues and motivations like they’re hosting TED talks on mindfulness, infusing the film with this awful emotional sterility. And heaps of the lines feel strangely out of place in a star wars film? for example when poe says ‘i’ll hold’? and when they refer to the jedi order as a ‘religion’, which seems openly sloppy as i don’t think this is done in any other star wars film?

➣ leia (my favourite star wars character of all time) spent most of the film silent.... Awesome. (AND WHEN SHE FLIES THROUGH SPACE.. DEADASS I CANT!! but like humor aside didn’t she renounce the use of the force because of her fathers misuse? hm). her dialogue was just bad and her very minor slice of screen time left me feeling pretty fucking disappointed, she seems to now be reduced to just ‘kylos mother, lukes sister’, which sucks more than i can describe, carrie deserved more respect.

➣ and i mean.. the blatant attempts to create merch for disney (it seems to have rightly backfired), at least wookies had a place in the narrative

➣ rian’s plot seemed really formulaic but somehow still in a clunky and strange way, just really lacking in any creativity. (for example on crait when poe says ‘theres only one way in and out’, but not 5 seconds later they’re shown a ‘secret’ exit, this just seems lazy)

➣ the casual destruction of what were probably hundreds of rebellion lives, picking off the ships one by one toward the climax of the narrtive? i mean an argument can be made that this was necessary to the plot (i don’t make this argument at all), but regardless it sat wrong with me that this blasé mass murder was brushed over. we feel nothing for these hundreds of dead characters? this seems really really wrong - the complete opposite of what Rogue One was trying to accomplish

➣ the beauty of the CGI visuals often felt patronising. like i was meant to sit there and mindlessly go ‘oooh’. whilst i was appreciative of the CGI during certain moments, generally i just felt it didn’t really excuse the empty plot and characters.

➣ even more minor things, where was the ‘i have a bad feeling about this’. did rian even watch the other movies????? for a movie thats referred to as pure fan service, it sure does a poor job at servicing fans

so all these things culminated to create a super bland, flattened, sterile and commercial star wars movie, with no actual creative vision (besides some admittedly beautiful visuals), disney has failed to create a star wars movie. even jar jar binks was, for better or worse, a bold creation, nobody could say he was a rehash of pre-existing characters, and tlj lacks this quality utterly and completely. in trying to both adhere to the structure of previous films, whilst also being ‘different’, it loses its sense of cohesion entirely. not to mention this movie is completely out of sync with tfa, besides basic plot points it seems to have no continuity whatsoever. all of jj’s beautiful work on tfa characters and dialogue, has gone to waste. i look forward to him salvaging the burning scraps of this trilogy.

maybe i am reading into this too much, maybe i am critiquing for no good reason, and the reviews would certainly suggest that. but this movie has really upset me, not only in concern for star wars, but for the wider film industry, the business of blockbusters, sequels and ‘subtle’ commercialism. the future, it seems, does not look bright.

#this is far from a complete list honestly #reed jeenson can suck my ass #what an absolute 'fuck you' to fans #tlj spoilers #tlj #rev

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hgfstreamchats · 7 years

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The Room

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: Hello! Knock Out: Hello, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo: *squints* Jalaperilo: what the hell? Knock Out: I have no clue. Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: who made you do this? Knock Out: Excellent question. Jalaperilo: somehow, this isn't worst than The Room? Knock Out: Oh, that's encouraging. Jalaperilo: Oh doc, you're in for a treat Knock Out: I can't wait.

Jalaperilo: the first time I watched this was also on a random stream i found. it was also the stream where I found the epic horror that is Re-Animator Knock Out: Which we also need to stream someday. Knock Out: Are...are they all interfacing with each other? Jalaperilo: please dont judge human interfacing on this film Knock Out: No promises. Knock Out: Dear Unicron, get on with it. Jalaperilo: im dying Knock Out: Gah! Jalaperilo: i have my head in my hands Knock Out: That was completely relevant and necessary. Jalaperilo: just like this movie Jalaperilo: cause hes terrible in bed Knock Out: What, humans don't like spastic little hip twitches? Jalaperilo: that arent in the vicinity of where they should actually be thrusting? Knock Out: He tried. Sort of. Jalaperilo: does he get a gold star with 'you tried' on it? Knock Out: He gets one of the lopsided ones. Matches his technique. Jalaperilo: hahah! Knock Out: Gladly. Jalaperilo: hehe Jalaperilo: oh no. please dont. he's my friend *DOES NOTHING TO RESIST SLEEPING WITH HER* Knock Out: Way to stick to your guns there, human we just met. Jalaperilo: he has the breaking strain of a kit kat Knock Out: Hah! Knock Out: What actually is he supposed to be penetrating? Knock Out: *exactly Jalaperilo: unless she has some weird random holes in her, i dont know what theyre stabbing at Knock Out: That's the plot twist. Jalaperilo: thats she's actually a sponge Knock Out: Or in possession of some kind of prehensile protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: erg Knock Out: Go back to the fat pug. Jalaperilo: this kid is creepy Knock Out: He grew up to be one of the sex offender shufflers. Jalaperilo: hahah! Jalaperilo: she ordwered the worst pizza Knock Out: Isn't that supposed to be one of those human foods you can't ruin? Knock Out: And yet, somehow, she did? Jalaperilo: please dont maake love again Knock Out: Oh, please, no. Not again. Knock Out: Have mercy. Jalaperilo: you cant get away ko Jalaperilo: we both have to live with this Knock Out: We have to live with his sloppy twitches. thenightetc: ...What did I walk in on Jalaperilo: get out while you can Jalaperilo: hello btw Knock Out: Run, and live well. Knock Out: And hello. thenightetc: (Lost track of time and tumblr decided not to alert me that there were new posts! :') ) Jalaperilo: blah blah blah btw i have cancer. anyway.... thenightetc: the acting is really... something. Jalaperilo: have you never seen this before either? Jalaperilo: you're in for as right treat thenightetc: I have not. I've just heard it's notoriously terrible thenightetc: It's the... Wisseau thing right? Knock Out: It is indeed. Jalaperilo: yes Knock Out: Who's this unfortunate soul? thenightetc: :( Jalaperilo: urgh thenightetc: I was 80% sure that was leading up to murder thenightetc: Just felt like one of those scenes, y'know? Jalaperilo: probably would have done the plot a favour with a murder or two Knock Out: That makes it worse! Cardinal: Hello, hello! Knock Out: Cardinal! How good to see you! Jalaperilo: hello! Knock Out: But how tragic you're here. thenightetc: So, ah, what all did I miss in terms of plot? thenightetc: ...Oh? Murder time NOW? Jalaperilo: tommy is the best ever, lisa hates him one minute and loves him the next Jalaperilo: you also missed2 bad sex scenes Jalaperilo: there is no cohearent plot Cardinal: I see what you mean by tragic. thenightetc: He was JUST yelling about money, it's obvious "what he wants" Jalaperilo: how does one accidentally buy drugs lol thenightetc: Where did that guy come from Knock Out: They obviously care deeply for the 36 year old man they adopted. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: oh no Jalaperilo: stop making aliens think humans are terrible at sex! thenightetc: Please tell me they're not going to phone sex now Starscreamapillar: Good, I have not missed out on too much madness. Knock Out: No, just several abysmal fragging scenes. Knock Out: Welcome to the disaster, by the way. Cardinal: Oh, did I miss the stair sex? Cardinal: ha ha ha what a story mark Starscreamapillar: I am not at all displeased to have missed out on those. Jalaperilo: lucky you cardinal thenightetc: Yes count your blessings Knock Out: What a charmer. Jalaperilo: thanks for dissing my gender thenightetc: I wish they'd both fall off the roof. Starscreamapillar: This human learned how to speak from the Internet, didn't he. Knock Out: Shuut Cardinal: *gun fingers* shuut thenightetc: What is he implying here Jalaperilo: there is a big theory on the net that tommy wiseau isnt actually human Cardinal: hahn? Knock Out: That's...actually quite plausible? thenightetc: It's not nice to mock whatever speech impediment or accent or whatever he has, guys. Starscreamapillar: Are conversations normally carried out at a recline like that? thenightetc: Why is her friend all shocked that she doesn't want to marry the guy who hit her thenightetc: Terrible friend Jalaperilo: this is how humans emote yes? Starscreamapillar: Apparently. FeralDog: goonai lisa Starscreamapillar: Ah yes. They are in the totally real alley. Cardinal: Of course! FeralDog: this looks so.... buffy the vampire slayer knockoff FeralDog: I keep expecting the undead to strike thenightetc: I keep hoping for the undead to strike. FeralDog: you know... Knock Out: This movie is like a victim of head trauma, dazed and wandering through a field somewhere. FeralDog: there supposedly was a vampire subplot that Wiseau nixed? Jalaperilo: hyoomans throw football as bonding yes? Cardinal: ((Apparently Tommy Wiseau did originally want to enter onto the roof on a flying car Cardinal: ((and--yeah, the vampire reveal)) thenightetc: Oh boy! Is he dying Cardinal: ((But he didn't nix it, he wanted it Cardinal: ((they talked him out of it Starscreamapillar: And then he ate that younger man. Jalaperilo: he ends up eating somethign alright thenightetc: ...well, that's not alarming Jalaperilo: the only plot this film has is everyone is terrible except tommy who is perfect Starscreamapillar: Somehow I get the feeling even watching this from the beginning wouldn't have it make any more sense. FeralDog: he's not even looking at the psych Starscreamapillar: I doubt that man's credentials. FeralDog: he says dejectedly Jalaperilo: time to tell us how *** women are? FeralDog: yep Cardinal: oh no the psychologist knows thenightetc: Johnny does sort of look like he's halfheartedly dressing up as a vampire Cardinal: "Can I meet the married woman you're boinking?" thenightetc: Totally normal question to ask Knock Out: I feel like I've blown a neural circuit. Jalaperilo: you made love twivce in this film already FeralDog: You keep playing psychologist with us! now let me ask you questions a psychologist should answer! Cardinal: Shh, shhhh. Let the words eat away at your processor. The pain will recede soon. Jalaperilo: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: oh god Starscreamapillar: .... Cardinal: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: is he going to--No, I guess not Cardinal: I NEVER ATE SO MUCH FeralDog: the only sane comment Jalaperilo: *wink* FeralDog: this sounds like he's making it up as he goes and the music is not helping thenightetc: ...I don't think that's how checks work Jalaperilo: just ndissing the *** outta you lisa Starscreamapillar: I don't think any of this is how it works. Cardinal: Denny why are you sitting on the floor Starscreamapillar: Sit on the floor, with the front door open. Jalaperilo: denny asked her for a kiss earlier thenightetc: Do iiiiiiit FeralDog: i almost feel like the vampire subplot would make this make sense. in a he's hypnotized too many people and now can't keep control of the illusions so the wor;d's gone mad around him,,,,,, Jalaperilo: is knock out still with us or did he actually fry his processor? Starscreamapillar: I envy him if he did brown out. This is painful. Knock Out: Theoretically, I'm still here. Jalaperilo: sorry i tried to throw you off a building? Jalaperilo: good. was worried you'd left us to suffer on our own FeralDog: yeah, man it's totally fine. happens all the time Cardinal: He already knows your secret. Cardinal: I'm so depressed bro Jalaperilo: aint we all? Starscreamapillar: That small door. thenightetc: The roof bothers me more. Looks so fake. Jalaperilo: none of these suits fit even slightly Cardinal: *ominous music* He shaaaved Starscreamapillar: They found the suits in a box in their fake alley. FeralDog: wwwwwwwwwhat Cardinal: . . . . . Jalaperilo: lol Cardinal: well Cardinal: I wish Trogdor were here to see this. Cardinal: Maybe he could make sense of it. Jalaperilo: is tommy trogdor's holoavatar? Knock Out: Fact! Starscreamapillar: Did they have a reason to be wearing tuxedos earlier? thenightetc: Maybe they were trying them on to make sure they fit? Cardinal: . . . nice segue. Starscreamapillar: No one paid for those drinks. Starscreamapillar: Drat. Now I must suffer through this. Jalaperilo: god Knock Out: For the love of Unicron, no. Cardinal: Shield your optics! Jalaperilo: can unicron come eat us? Starscreamapillar: I think exploding again would be less painful than this. FeralDog: do we really need to see the ENTIRE sex scene FeralDog: a fadeout would be appreciated Starscreamapillar: How is this still going on?! Jalaperilo: in all 4? sex scenes, no one seems to have thrust anywhere near her vagine Knock Out: What I tell you? Protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: oh year lol Jalaperilo: *yeah FeralDog: more football based bonding Starscreamapillar: I feel as though you could replace these actors with golden retreivers and lose nothing. Jalaperilo: 'i saw a hyooman program with this so all hyoomans do this bonding' Knock Out: Please, no. Cardinal: AGAIN? thenightetc: Again?! Knock Out: Not again. No more. Cardinal: *weeps quietly* thenightetc: Please let something burst in and eat them Knock Out: Oh, thank you! Cardinal: Wow, Lisa. Jalaperilo: was there anything like this on cybertron? thenightetc: Some of the audio seems a little... desynched or something thenightetc: Is this... dubbed? Starscreamapillar: If there was, I certainly didn't watch it. Knock Out: I think this might be one of those "once in a universe" things. Jalaperilo: *** Jalaperilo: we really are the worst species Cardinal: Well, you are the spawn of Unicron. Knock Out: Take a bow. thenightetc: Excuse me, I'm not taking the blame for this movie. thenightetc: How dare. Jalaperilo: us all watching this now are now linked in a shared, horrific experience Starscreamapillar: As if I didn't already have enough horrifying experiences in my life. Jalaperilo: i like being the spawn of another species' devil thenightetc: ...Yikes thenightetc: What the *** Starscreamapillar: The film's writer clearly had some unresolved issues. thenightetc: You think? Jalaperilo: would you believe that tommy wiseau wrote ANd sirected AND acted in this? Jalaperilo: *directed Cardinal: Yes. Knock Out: And funded it, and apparently no one knows how. Starscreamapillar: Yes. Yes I would. Jalaperilo: alien money Cardinal: Deal with Unicron. Jalaperilo: probably traded a load of shanix with a skuxxoid Starscreamapillar: Are you certain he didn't kidnap these people, and force them to be in his film? thenightetc: Oh god, they're going to sneak off for another sex scene, aren't thy Starscreamapillar: 'Sneak'? thenightetc: Well. Cardinal: As Shockwave would say, "illogical." Jalaperilo: shockwave would shutdown at this film Cardinal: . . . Cardinal: I'm going to show it to him. Cardinal: Whoa, someone did the impossible and came BACK into the house. Knock Out: Sensitive with genuine human emotions. Cardinal: Leave your STUPID comments in your pocket! thenightetc: That's where I keep all *my* stupid comments. Cardinal: Good thinking! Inviting my friends! Cardinal: What are they doing outside? Cardinal: I just? Cardinal: Alternate, help. Jalaperilo: cardinal is crashing lol thenightetc: Oh god. Knock Out: I can't help you. I'm so very, very sorry. Knock Out: I'm lost. I'm gone. Cardinal: *whimpers* thenightetc: *facepalm* Starscreamapillar: Surely he won't be able to count to nine months from now. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: That guy does look sort of like Xander Knock Out: Who *are* you? Jalaperilo: i think they swapped out an actor Starscreamapillar: No one will notice this loud conversation in public about her cheating. Knock Out: Doesn't matter, had cake. Jalaperilo: haha! thenightetc: They're hardly subtle about it. Maybe everyone already knows. Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Jalaperilo: what planet IS he from? thenightetc: What do you mean, I always slow dance with my platonic friends Knock Out: I've spent the last hour pondering that same question. Starscreamapillar: He is fed up with this world. Knock Out: Most alien species that can mimic other species tend to be good at it. thenightetc: Hey, you know what would be funny after this? Knock Out: What? Jalaperilo: icepick lobotomy> Jalaperilo: ? Cardinal: "And I DEFINITELY have breast cancer." thenightetc: Just look for "arrested development chicken dance" on youtube Knock Out: Consider it done. thenightetc: I'm sure there are a BUNCH of clips caffienatedglitter: henlo Starscreamapillar: Someone had better end up murdered at the end of this. Knock Out: I hope it's me. thenightetc: For some reason I'd gotten the impression this was a horror movie Jalaperilo: you may just get your wish tonight screamy Starscreamapillar: The horror is in sitting through it. caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: EWWWW Starscreamapillar: Do Not call me that. thenightetc: :( Knock Out: I think we can agree we've all lost something precious tonight. caffienatedglitter: what did i walk in on Jalaperilo: you are the lucky one, to only suffer the end of this caffienatedglitter: how is the audio from the other end of the phone line so clear thenightetc: ...He already knew they were cheating together though? caffienatedglitter: what is his accent thenightetc: https://www.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/1gs6ol/what_the_heck_is_going_on_with_tommy_wiseaus_voice/ caffienatedglitter: he angery thenightetc: Not sure if there's an actual answer there, per se caffienatedglitter: he screm Thebes: Oh man, I appear to have been late to the worst movie thenightetc: You are correct caffienatedglitter: KNOCKING THINGS OVER IS THE ONLY WAY A MOVIE CHARACTER CAN EXPRESS ANGER thenightetc: Chew that scenery! CHEW thenightetc: Aren't they just upstairs from him? Can't they hear this going on? Thebes: How delicately he moves those bedsheets Starscreamapillar: I am disappointed at the lack of murder spree. Jalaperilo: this is more acting than the rest of the film thenightetc: Uh caffienatedglitter: ewwwww thenightetc: Why this Jalaperilo: i forgot that bit! Cardinal: . . . caffienatedglitter: ewvwwhw wnvjhwvg' Thebes: I think this is ... supposed to be pathos? caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: dude stop Cardinal: I've been asking myself the same thing. caffienatedglitter: holy Knock Out: FRAG. caffienatedglitter: he's dead Thebes: yes. yes he is. thenightetc: dramatic slow-mo caffienatedglitter: ... caffienatedglitter: YAAAAAAAAAAAY Jalaperilo: well at least he got his daily amount of iron? caffienatedglitter: no, he's sleeping Starscreamapillar: Yes, just put your hand right in that. thenightetc: Yeah, get his blood all over your hands caffienatedglitter: so many diseases Jalaperilo: bet you werent expecting that Doc thenightetc: Disturb the scene a little more Thebes: PATHOS caffienatedglitter: seriously pathogens love to travel through blood Knock Out: I can honestly say I wasn't. caffienatedglitter: what do you mean you lost him YOU DUMPED HIM caffienatedglitter: ALSO MARK DIDNT YOU WANT TO SEX HER BEFORE Thebes: YES. YES HE DID Cardinal: LEAVE US thenightetc: Wow Knock Out: Don't leave that one alone with the body! Jalaperilo: this whole film is about tommy's messiah complex caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COPS caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COIPS YOU IDIOTS Jalaperilo: knock out! haha thenightetc: No, no, they'll want to handle the gun a bit first too thenightetc: Get their fingerprints all over it caffienatedglitter: i tyhought he saids he didnt have any friends now everyones sobbin over his body caffienatedglitter: piugblswk caffienatedglitter: ive only been here for TEWO MINUTES Thebes: WAIT Cardinal: Amazing. Thebes: HE WAS GRABBING HER HAIR caffienatedglitter: WHY Starscreamapillar: Well, that was about as bad as having my head blown off again. caffienatedglitter: WHAT IS THIS MUSIC caffienatedglitter: INAPROPRIATE MUCH Jalaperilo: sexytimes on the corpse music FeralDog: good god Thebes: There's appropriate anything in this movie? Knock Out: Denny is there also. caffienatedglitter: "assistant to mr. wiseau"???? five people??? FeralDog: I feel like I just survived a deadly fever caffienatedglitter: those poor performers Jalaperilo: they were the five humans that taught him how to act like one of us Thebes: oh, man, there's abook about the weird, troubled production of this movie. It's so out there it's getting made into its own movie caffienatedglitter: i wish i'd gotten here earlier thenightetc: You shouldn't. caffienatedglitter: you misunderstand caffienatedglitter: i am a masochist caffienatedglitter: more assisstants jesus caffienatedglitter: welp caffienatedglitter: is that it Knock Out: The assistants were there to keep the Wiseau human from poking himself. caffienatedglitter: oh dear Thebes: yeah you missed the bit about Denny being into drugs and the bizarre casual cancer subplot caffienatedglitter: the room is a meme, i know the basic plot caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: cancer caffienatedglitter: WHEN DID CANCER GET INVOLVED thenightetc: Yeah, there was cancer Jalaperilo: the mum is all i'm dying, its deffo cancer, andyway, marry tommy FeralDog: This lady casually announced that she had breast cancer caffienatedglitter: ooooh right caffienatedglitter: what Knock Out: I just take the suggestions, I don't question them. caffienatedglitter: at least it isn't the cheeeep cheep cheep thenightetc: They ALL have one caffienatedglitter: cheeep chepchepcheepcheep Starscreamapillar: . . . . caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: frag for a second i thought his voice was robin williams Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ...Well, this has been an enlightening evening. Starscreamapillar: I think that's misrepresentative. Jalaperilo: well. its 3am here. i hope you appreciate my sacrifice to watch that film Jalaperilo: goodnight all! Knock Out: I do. caffienatedglitter: it's only 10:00 here Knock Out: Goodnight! FeralDog: 7:00 here FeralDog: https://xkcd.com/1400/ thenightetc: Awwww, the chicken dance bit is great though. Even if that was a little poorly edited together. FeralDog: ^relelvant! Thebes: ikr? caffienatedglitter: my god Knock Out: Makes sense to me. thenightetc: Huh. Thebes: ... there's a trailer for a movie where someone is paid to act as Tommy Wiseau FeralDog: oh dear god thenightetc: ...Not sure if I want to see that or not. caffienatedglitter: that or he's the devil made flesg Knock Out: You can't replicate what's going on with this human (?). And no one ever should. thenightetc: That would explain why he looks slightly uncanny Thebes: they get weirdly close. The Disaster Artist trailer, if you want to see for yourself caffienatedglitter: he looks like he's a collage of body parts cut froma magazine caffienatedglitter: but 3d Knock Out: My credits are still on "alien." caffienatedglitter: and also a pervet thenightetc: I read that as "flaming disaster" Starscreamapillar: I think he is a mimic of some kind. Starscreamapillar: And the football is there. Of course. Thebes: it kinda was? Like it's based off the book The Disaster Artist, which is entirely about trying to get this weird alien sock puppet to act thenightetc: Oh god, I didn't notice. caffienatedglitter: is that actually him caffienatedglitter: does he actually think people like this unironically FeralDog: maybe he's one of the fair folk. But he's bad at it. Thebes: maybe he's a bunch of groundhogs trying to pilot a human Knock Out: I like the news scrolling by. caffienatedglitter: they're trying Knock Out: "Also, some humans died or something." thenightetc: "Like us on Facebook!" Thebes: yeah, kinda. Underscores this. caffienatedglitter: it's a special kind of *** caffienatedglitter: jesus he's like caffienatedglitter: idk thenightetc: Yeah, sports references, that's what I look for in a movie Thebes: how is he keeping a straight face Starscreamapillar: His sunglasses are unsettling. Knock Out: He's hiding something behind there. I'm not certain I want to know what. thenightetc: Soundwave's visor. caffienatedglitter: he's hiding madness, and not very well Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau confirmed for Soundwave. caffienatedglitter: YOU STUDIED PSYCHOLOGY caffienatedglitter: NO caffienatedglitter: BULL caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: We've all been where now? Starscreamapillar: His insane word-salad rambling. caffienatedglitter: is he a human???? caffienatedglitter: knock out please advise thenightetc: The other guy looks so embarassed Knock Out: No advice. He landed on your planet, he's your problem. Starscreamapillar: The other guy is likely concerned if he upsets Wiseau that he wil be consumed. Thebes: I would be thenightetc: Yeah, he does look like he could just unhinge his jaw and, y'know... caffienatedglitter: ubigowj caffienatedglitter: but he's scary caffienatedglitter: he talks like he's got marbled in his mouth Knock Out: If you have to ask, the answer is probably "Tommy Wiseau can most definitely unhinge his jaw and kill some people." caffienatedglitter: HES A SNAKE Starscreamapillar: Snakes do not talk so much. thenightetc: Lime green shirt with matching lime green tie :( Thebes: it's like he agressively doesn't care. caffienatedglitter: this is not a man of earthly cares caffienatedglitter: oh god what'sthis Starscreamapillar: He only cares for how many souls he can harvest, and how much flesh he can consume. thenightetc: SOUNDS LEGIT thenightetc: Is that a hearse Starscreamapillar: Yes. caffienatedglitter: "family kidnapped by ninjas" yeah totally believable caffienatedglitter: ew caffienatedglitter: what\ caffienatedglitter: EWWWWWWWWW thenightetc: What the *** Knock Out: Alright, enough of that. caffienatedglitter: HE IS THE EATER OF FLESH Thebes: what was THAT caffienatedglitter: I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau is clearly a dangerous entity. Starscreamapillar: I feel the pressing need to awaken Unicron, so he can shake off the Earth and ensure Wiseau's destruction. thenightetc: Er caffienatedglitter: how well did that work out for you last time Knock Out: There we go. Much better. Starscreamapillar: Just because it didn't work out for my alternates does not mean it may not work out for me. caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: alternate universes caffienatedglitter: still though caffienatedglitter: starscreams are universally jinxed thenightetc: This actually looks familiar. Huh Starscreamapillar: I know. caffienatedglitter: Is this car porn Starscreamapillar: But I strive to escape whatever unpleasant fate is in store for me. caffienatedglitter: car porn is pretty chill caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late! We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late! We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A SAUNA Smokescreen: also if woojit wants to use this sauna I was gifted caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A GIANT SAUNA Smokescreen: I don't know! It was a gift! I'm kinda suspicious which is also why I'm offering Woojit a whirl in it! Knock Out: Suspicious bath house? I'm sold. thenightetc: Gosh, hope it's not cursed or something. caffienatedglitter: DUDE caffienatedglitter: THERE'S PROBABLY A CAMERA IN IT OR A BOMB Starscreamapillar: Why would a camera matter? Knock Out: Lucky camera. Smokescreen: Awesome! I'll promise to fix you up if it goes horribly wrong but hopefully it won't Smokescreen: wouldn't the lens get covered in steam? Knock Out: Excellent! caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: giant robots caffienatedglitter: nudity isnt a thing Starscreamapillar: Not really, no. caffienatedglitter: eh Smokescreen: woojit i found this anime also i've been meaning to watch and i need thosughts Knock Out: Yes? Smokescreen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVPnaHRgNb8 caffienatedglitter: ooooh knockout you should stream death parade thenightetc: Oh, I love that show! In a way. caffienatedglitter: oh my god thenightetc: ^Initial D thenightetc: Haven't seen Death Parade caffienatedglitter: it's amazing Knock Out: Yes. Knock Out: Whatever this is, yes. caffienatedglitter: it's only a few episodes long, so Thebes: Initial D is awesome, caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: But you have to not mind the animation. caffienatedglitter: HIS FACE Smokescreen: the humans look dead inside thenightetc: Yeah they do a lot of that thenightetc: You get used ot it Smokescreen: ... are they actually humans or just holo-matter avatars? Smokescreen: i've seen avatars with faces like that Knock Out: Who cares? Smokescreen: true caffienatedglitter: technically they are anime caffienatedglitter: not hoomans Smokescreen: am i anime caffienatedglitter: no you're american animaation Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: i'm not american Smokescreen: i'm praxian caffienatedglitter: your show isn't Smokescreen: WOOJIT HIGHER VOLUMNE Smokescreen: RAISE THE VOLUME thenightetc: And they're proud of that terrible animation, too, lots of closeups of misshapen dead-eyed faces Thebes: all the humans are in love with their cars and will go to absurd lengths to show it Smokescreen: thank you woojit Smokescreen: good Smokescreen: they should love their cars caffienatedglitter: um Starscreamapillar: Is it uncomfortable to squeal your tires like that? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen splease rephrase Smokescreen: it feels good to me! caffienatedglitter: unfortuinate implications Smokescreen: Uhhh- they should adore their cars? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: I don't see the problem! Knock Out: It's not comfortable, but worth it for the sake of drifting. thenightetc: Oh believe me there is drifting in this show :) Thebes: and for wiping a smug smirk off someone's face? Thebes: because there's lots of that too Smokescreen: woojit woojit what if: we raced and played this kinda music at top volume to recreate this stuff caffienatedglitter: NO Smokescreen: but caffienatedglitter: BAD IDEA caffienatedglitter: RECREATING ANIME ONLY BRINGS PAIN Smokescreen: but Smokescreen: :( Knock Out: I'm not hearing a downside! Thebes: This anime is basically nothing but car appreciation and winning races in a way that's petty and satisfying Knock Out: Let's do it! thenightetc: It totally is. caffienatedglitter: knockout you have doomed yoursel Smokescreen: I probably won't be able to do it now, but sometime soon, we gotta! Knock Out: It's a date! thenightetc: Haha, have fun! caffienatedglitter: you fools you will invite them into our world, they will consume reality Smokescreen: I'll look for places with turns like these, too Knock Out: Perfect! Knock Out: That seems a marvelous place to pack it in for tonight. caffienatedglitter: lovely caffienatedglitter: goodnight Knock Out: Goodnight, everyone! Smokescreen: Sounds good. Night, everyone! Knock Out: Thank you for enduring this with me. caffienatedglitter: try not to turn the multiverse into a singularity thenightetc: This was good fun; thanks for the stream. :) Starscreamapillar: I am not sure I should thank you for exposing me to the horror of the Room. Starscreamapillar: Goodnight, and may I be able to atend again in the future. thenightetc: Goodnight! Knock Out: Here's hoping! Smokescreen: Hopefully, I can get here on time one day! Thebes: nighy!

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moonotter · 7 years

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A Quick Critique of Riverdale

I’m not hating on any ships within the show after finishing the first season I’m merely pointing out my own observations regarding them. Current focus is on the primary ships within the fandom

Beronica: Okay I was gonna say I was aware this was gonna be a queer baiting ship but there’s also the rather suggestive content within the comics. CW has made it clear this is not going to be a ship they’ll actually explore (note: I believe in at one of the cons it was Camila that said something along the lines of “we gave the fans a tease of it but thats just not our show”). In the first couple of episodes I could see how this could be interpreted as a ship by the screen-time and interactions between Betty and Veronica. Ideally if the show progressed it would be nice if the show went the Korra/Asami route, however, judging by the CW’s treatment of LGBT relationships, it currently seems unlikely.

Varchie: This is essentially a couple the show ends on by the end of Season One. The foreshadowing was definitely obvious throughout the season to where the writers were planning on having this ship cannon. By the end of the season the whole “lets keep this under wraps for a while and wait to tell everyone” was a really stupid albeit minor subplot since it was followed by the Jubilee performance that... really made it obvious they were into each other; I will add I agree with some critics that the performance came off as a knock-off HSM Troy-Gabriella, however this had some sort of relevancy? And wasn’t just a poorly planned play a la HSM1 (although it is a classic). However, the “foreshadowing” moments would’ve made more sense as them growing closer platonically due to the chemistry just...not being there. Of course many of their moments were rather sparse due to the characters being involved in other plot lines. Since they’ll remain a couple for a good chunk of Season 2 I’m assuming, it would make way more sense if they wrote their interactions more fluidly. There’s definitely potential with this ship but the writing could definitely improve and not completely bashing KJ’s acting, it has blatantly come off that Veronica is more into Archie than Archie is into her (not just because this would give into the Iconic Love Triangle). The interactions between the two at recent cons sort of give me hope but in at least one of the interviews they both came off as uninterested but I’m unsure of any prior knowledge that led to that.

Bughead: Currently ignoring how this side of the fandom has allegedly acted out, since this is on the ship itself not the fans. Now Bughead has had the development that Varchie lacked in Season One. Therefore its easier to see how their feelings and interactions have developed. I’m not quite sure how Riverdale plans on presenting Jugheads comic-canon Asexuality after the finale but I sit with the argument that sexuality is fluid (and quite possibly the CW will gloss over this with previous queer-baiting); any allusions to his comic counter-part are more blatant with his interactions with Archie. The relationship is probably one of the healthier types I've seen presented in a teen-drama with how well their support of each other is. Now the finale made the blatant allusion to The Godfather (note: this was admitted by the writers) however I’m gonna say that the Jacket allowed the scene to definitely be its own. I'll admit a majority of their relationship does come off as slightly stale as much as the relationship makes sense, but I appreciate that their relationship is more plot focused. I’m curious to see how this relationship progresses into Season 2 especially with the addition of Vanessa Morgan.

Archie/Betty: I'll admit I don’t actually know what the mash-name of this ship is so just putting the Classic naming system in. Now this is a ship I’ll admit I'm glad hasn’t happened. For clarity, the beginning made practical sense of Betty being the girl next door with an unrequited crush on Archie. However, despite the two of them being friends it did come off that it could be an unhealthy relationship should it have ever occurred that early in the series. Following his rejection, the allowing the two of them to friends was probably one of the better decisions made narratively. Now Archies relationship with Ms. Grundy at the same time could’ve influenced this, but early season Archie lacked more sense than later season Archie. The repeated Archie being disappointed by Jughead and Betty being happy with their relationship is admittedly a concern but we’re “talking about a teenage boy.” He had multiple chances to get with Betty, with or without Grundy’s influence, and frankly with how the writing has been with the two, the focus on Bughead makes more logical sense for the time being. With the ending of Season One allowing Archie to question his own relationship and his feelings for Betty clearly plays into the Iconic Love Triangle, however, this does make me question how the Core Four will go in the series and I do worry it could become toxic for Archie and Betty in its representation should they ever get together. Now I’ll acknowledge we’re currently only in Season One with few spoilers from early Season Two so I end my commentary on this ship.

Kevin/Joaquin: Rather underrated, unsure of the ship name. This is a rather minor ship but I figured I would comment on one of the shows more blatant non-het ships. The relationship could’ve been given more depth but Casey wasn’t at this time a Series Regular. Therefore the lack of focus on this relationship despite the plot point of Joaquin working with the Serpents for information and what not. The writers quite obviously floundered with this ship regarding their lack of screen time thus making it easier to slide in when necessary but not to the level that any Bughead or Varchie had. I wouldn’t bank against the writers bringing Joaquin back later in the series for the sake of Drama but it was an underdeveloped ship and hopefully they get better with their LGBT representation.

#riverdale #analysis #beronica #bughead #varchie #archie andrews #archie comics #jughead jones #betty cooper #veronica lodge #betty x jughead #veronica x archie

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nb-cringe · 7 years

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To the bone (Spoilers?)

I watched it 2 nights ago and i mean.. i liked it. I guess. It was entertaining, but i wouldn’t exactly call it good. one thing i can say for certain, its much better than Starving in Suburbia (but thats not hard; that film is godawful).

The feeding scene was um.. really strange. Just weird. I dont know why it was added. And the way they kept referring to anorexia as ‘rexie’ was really cringy. I also thought that the thing with eli’s drawings and the girl killing herself was thrown in for some tragic backstory and shock factor. it didnt really make any sense, and it was hardly explored at all, beyond a few vague mentions.

And the subplot semi-romance thing with luke? Like wtf? The ending was just annoying tbh, like she just goes back to the house and thats it. What even happens? I guess youre meant to 'fill in the blanks’ and try to imagine what happened, but that doesnt really fit with this movie, not considering the way she left. The 'romance’, if you can call it that, felt kinda forced, like they felt it was necessary to have some sort of romance but werent sure how to actually incorporate it well.

All in all, i would give it like.. a 5½/10? It was definitely somewhat interesting to watch (or maybe thats just me… lol) but it wasnt great. Id like to see a movie that focuses on an ED other than anorexia as well, ive never seen a movie that talks about bulimia or ednos/osfed (if you know of any such movie, hmu), despite the fact that theyre both more common than anorexia. And enough with the young white girls too lol. There was kind of representation, sort of, but why is the main character always a whiny white girl? It doesnt help any demographic lmao

#i dont think anyone will read this but its more for me anyway

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slothcritic1 · 7 years

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Moana (2016)

Amazing Hair: The Movie. Moana is a tale of Hawaiian/Polynesian folklore centering around Dwayne The Maui Johnson and brand new talent (Auli'i Cravalho) as the titular character.

As someone who grew up with Toy Story, it’s funny to think about what this movie represents from a technical standpoint. Toy Story purposefully did not have an explositions or exposed liquids due to the limitations of technology at the time. And now we have a movie that takes place 90% of the time in the middle of a huge ocean.

The movie has some genuinely good songs, thanks to the singing talents of Ms Cravalho and, surprisingly, Dwayne Johnson himself. Yes, The Rock can sing, and while it’s semi-obvious that he doesn’t have the range of some other singers, he works within his means and knocks it out of the park in the song You’re Welcome

The plot structure itself is very formulaic however, which is a shame as everything else holds up so wonderfully. The focal girl has a duty to uphold, but instead decides to “follow her destiny” and choose a life of adventure over the life she’s expected to live (you know, like Brave, Frozen, Mulan, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Tarzan… you get the point). She then meets up with the wacky, street wise (or ocean wise), reluctant helper that she goads into helping on her journey. They become friends and bond, then theres the third act break up where the helper separates for no good reason, and the fourth act triumphant return at the ending climax for even less of a good reason.

With that out of the way, the movie rocks. Some people completely judge a movie only on plot, but I think it’s more about how it makes you feel. A movie is a vessel for emotion and intrigue.

Aside from the stunning visuals (which, lets face it, are now a standard practise for Disney Pixar films) and a catchy song (songs however are much easier to screw up, and this movie has a lot of good ones), the opening scene is bland. It sets up Moana to be the next village chief and her journey into leaving the island. The scene doesn’t really have anything for itself, but rather is used to carry the impact of when she actually disembarks. It’s necessary for backstory (no one ever leaves the island), exposition (Moana is the daughter of the village chief, etc) and the premise (find Maui and have him restore Heart of Te Fiti to stop a black virus from consuming all life), but doesnt do too much on its own.

The disembarkment scene however is wicked powerful. My friends thought I was alien for not crying or tearing up during it, but I will admit it did give me a good *pang* in the heart. Magical spirit stingray!

Two things should also be mentioned at this point. 1) A rooster named Hei Hei has snuck aboard Moana’s boat. It’s a very special rooster that my friends would not stop comparing to me. And B) The ocean is a sentient character of sorts, and provides some of the comedy for the movie.

Moana follows the constellation of the fish hook to where Maui is, since thats his dealio. At some point however, the lovable ocean gets triggered and decides to unleash its torrential stormy wrath upon Moana. I mean, it does get her to Maui’s island, but I’m sure there were less dickish ways of accomplishing that. Though I don’t think ocean cares since it killed Moana’s dad’s best friend. Oh, ocean, you little scamp.

Maui pops in and drops my favorite song of the movie, then steals the boat and leaves Moana to… I dunno, die? But she makes it back to Maui and explains that he needs to help her because, guess what, she’s the Disney Princess of this movie. And yes - She is. Her father is chief, which is like a king. She’s the chief’s daughter, which is like a king’s daughter, aka princess.

Maui responds by throwing the Heart of Te Fiti several miles away. This almost works out for Maui until p̶l̶o̶t̶ the ocean interferes by throwing it back, railroading him into a whole new world.

Maui however is at a disadvantage in his current state; He’s missing his hook. No hook, no powers. So when tribal coconuts show up on a HUGE ship, armed to the coconuts with poison blow darts, they’re kind of fucked, especially when they steal the Heart of Te Fiti, which is… currently inside Hei Hei.

Luckily, Moana does some badass shit while Maui handles the boat and the three of them get out fine. Next stop, Maui’s hook. But before that, Moana wants to drive the boat. Maui says no, and the ocean pricks him with a stray poison dart. Now he cant drive. But he can pee in the water just as he tells Moana to check for a “warm current”

I can get on board with that level of petty.

They arrive at Monster Island, which is where Maui’s hook is. Maui tells her to stay on the boat and do nothing like a good woman while macho man demi-dude saves the whole day. It has little success. I should also mention, this entire time they’ve been traveling from Casa de Maui to Mount Doom, Maui has just been roasting Moana for being a Disney princess. To summarize:

“Oh look at me. I’m the chosen one. I’m like 8 years old and never sailed a boat in my life, but here I am thinking the ocean chose ME, with my bleeding heart spiel and animal companion to try and save the world.”

To be fair, large bodies of water have never been good at chosing leaders - Ask Monty Python.

Regardless, Moana and Maui both climb what is basically a 90 degree incline to the top of the Dread Spire. It is at this point Maui informs Moana that the door to the monster realm can only be opened with a human sacrifice. Before Moana can protest, Maui ritually disembowels her with his own hands to appease the ancient blood gods.

Kidding. He chants a few words and the gateway opens. The two jump in, and Moana is almost eaten or killed numerous times with the first few moments of being in the realm of the monsters.

Maui’s hook is resting upon a mountain of gold. Seems innocent enough to Moana, but Maui insists she wears a bright and gaudy disguise to draw the attention of… something.

The mountain of gold rises up. Turns out thats just its back. Meet the British Crab. He sings a song about how he loves shiny things and then nearly eats Moana, until Maui reveals he retrieved his hook from the British Crab’s back.

But he’s a little rusty and it, uh, doesn’t work right. So Maui gets his shit stomped by BC. Moana saves the day by painting a rock with bioluminescent algae to make it look like the Heart of Te Fiti, which is shiny, and BC is all about the shiny.

They escape, and Maui learns to reuse his hook. Everythings looking swell until they try and take on the great evil of the story, Te Ka. He uses fireball and Maui presses E to deflect with his hook, only instead the hook gets mad cracked. It sparks like its somehow made of electricity, which I find weird. Maui is now done with life since his hook is nearly toast and he fucks off, leaving chosen girl all by herself, depressed as fuck in the middle of nowhere, ocean.

One drug trip and amazing song later, she regains her confidence and tried to take on Te Ka by herself. It surprisingly works, because now she knows how to drive a boat. Hei Hei comes in clutch and stops the Heart of Te Fiti from falling off the boat, and they make it through the border islands towards their main goal.

Te Ka is still rather pissed, being a giant lava demon and all, so he keeps trying to kill Moana. And for no real reason, here comes Maui to save the day - or at least to stall Te Ka until Moana can do the thing. His hook gets completely totalled but its okay, because he learned a valuable lesson off-screen that he’s still Maui, hook or no hook.

Moana realizes that the Heart actually goes into Te Ka. So she pulls a Moses, lets Te Ka come at her bro, and puts the Heart into her chest. This turns her from the red Lava Groot to the green Mother Nature Jemima, and everything is better forever. And hey, she gives Maui a brand new hook after he apologises for being the literal cause of ALL of this. Maui does his own thing and Moana becomes the leader of a brand new generation of voyagers.

I do have to applaud Disney for NOT having the two of them kiss at the end. Its always nice to see a platonic m/f duo in movies and the romance subplot sells so well to resist sometimes.

Overall, very stunning. I often cite “movie feel” as a reason why movies with plot/cliche/logistic problems can still make good movies, and this movie does a wonderful job of sweeping you off your feet. Though honestly, the writing on this movie is not bad. Rather, I would say its poorly structured. Think of it like a support beam a beanstalk might grow up. The characters were amazing; Full of life, personality and moderately complex emotions, the animation is so good the whole movie is like a humble brag about how awesome the DisneyTech is, a lot (i’d say 80%) of the script is bang on, and an astounding amount of the songs are really good - Songs are easy to screw up and I’d say that’s this movies second biggest strength (behind hair/water animation). It just struggles with the standard “winning formula” plot structure that was honestly ill-fitting in parts and did not impart a wholesome explanation or comprehensive rationale behind certain scenes.

I’m not a big Disney buff (unless you count the Star Wars acquisition), so I’m not qualified to say how this ranks compared to other movies (disregarding modern tech advancements and focusing more on storytelling) - However I will say that it’s better than Frozen.

#slothcritic #moana #moana review

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