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xtruss · 1 year

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Millions of Americans eat bagels for breakfast daily. The history of this popular breakfast item is deeply rooted within the Jewish community—from the Eastern European bakers who created them to the U.S. bagel unions that protected them in the early 20th century. Photograph By Rebecca Hale, National Geographic

The Unusual History Of The Beloved Bagel

There are many myths surrounding the invention of this Jewish-American culinary icon. But its true origin tells a story of ingenuity and survival.

— By Erin Blakemore | May 3, 2023

Did you have a bagel for breakfast? If so, you're not alone: a projected 202 million Americans ate the ring-shaped bread in 2020 alone. Anyone who butters a bagel, or piles it with lox and cream cheese, is part of a centuries-long tradition that began with Jewish bakers.

Legends abound about the origins of the bagel—for example, that it was created to celebrate a victory over the Ottoman Empire or as a result of antisemitic laws. But that’s not quite the full story. Here's the truth about how the humble food began, and why it retains its significance today.

How Bagels Were Invented

One prominent bagel myth contends that a baker first created them in the aftermath of the 1683 Battle of Vienna to honor Polish king John III Sobieski who helped break a siege on the city. Another bagel origin story tells the tale of Jewish bakers in ninth-century Prussia or Poland who, hampered by an antisemitic law that forbade them from baking their bread, began boiling it instead.

Neither is true, writes Maria Balinska in The Bagel: The Surprising History of a Modest Bread. In fact, she writes, bagels "began life as a bread of value and an object of respect."

Balinska traces the history of the bagel to well before the Battle of Vienna, tracking the bread to 13th century Jewish bakers in a part of Eastern Europe that is now Poland. At the time, Jewish tradespeople's activities were carefully defined by antisemitic local laws largely designed to segregate them from Christians. But Jewish bakers were given more leeway: They were allowed to bake bread not just for themselves, but for their Christian neighbors.

A person sells bagels in a Bethlehem market, circa 1950. Bagels were created as a smaller, individually sized version of a popular ring-shaped bread known as obwarzanek. Photograph By Rudolf Jonas, Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

The most popular of their wares was a boiled, lean, ring-shaped bread known as obwarzanek. During Lent, when Christians abstained from rich foods, they sought out this bread, which is thought to have originated in Germany. Jewish bakers’ guilds also made a smaller version for everyday Jewish consumption—and this single-serving ring of bread became known as as bajgiel in Polish and beygal in Yiddish.

Soon, bagels took on a variety of meanings within Poland's vibrant Jewish encalves. They were fed to women who had recently given childbirth as part of folk traditions designed to protect newborn children and became part of Jewish mourning rituals. Eventually, Christians also began buying bagels instead of obwarzanek from Jewish bakers for everyday consumption, and the food gained popularity as Eastern Europe urbanized and modernized.

How Bagels Came To The U.S.

When European Jews began emigrating to the United States in the 19th century, bagels came along for the ride. But it would take decades for them to become a mainstream food eaten outside of Jewish immigrant enclaves. As historian Matthew Goodman notes, "bagels existed in America for decades as a purely ethnic phenomenon, virtually unknown to society at large."

But the food retained importance for Jewish immigrants—and played a key part in the American labor movement. In 1907, New York bagel bakers formed the International Beigel Bakers Union in an attempt to dissuade people from patronizing bakeries that forced their immigrant workers to toil long hours for low pay in hot, vermin-infested bakeries.

The all-Jewish union carefully guarded knowledge of how to bake the bread and urged Jewish customers to buy from all-union shops instead of giving their business to owners who exploited newly arrived immigrants. Members staged several successful strikes throughout the 20th century, becoming known as one of the most successful unions in the burgeoning U.S. labor movement.

But the widespread adoption of the bagel-making machine—and the introduction of the bagel beyond the Jewish community—spelled the downfall of the powerful bagel unions.

Ben Gerstein drops bagel dough into a kettle of boiling water before placing the bagels in the oven at a bakery in Hempstead, New York, on September 18, 1964. By then, bagels had become a phenomenon—brought to the U.S. by Jewish immigrants in the 19th century. Photograph By James O'Rourkem Newsday RM/Getty Images

First invented in 1918 by Canadian baker Meyer Thompson, the bagel machine was introduced to the U.S. in the 1960s. Thompson's son, Daniel, licensed the technology to Murray Lender, who wanted to boost sales at his New Haven, Connecticut bakery. With the help of the new machine, Lender pioneered pre-sliced, frozen bagels and bagel flavors that went beyond plain and salt.

The 'Fastest-drawing Bun In The Yeast'

By 1965, bagels had become a phenomenon. The rolls were the "fastest-drawing bun in the yeast," according to one punchy headline in the New York Daily News from 1965. The bun "may soon take its place alongside the hot dog [and] the pizza...as an American delicacy," the article continued, documenting the growing number of "bagelophiles" nationally.

New bagel acolytes learned to eat bagels with another food tied to immigrant enclaves: lox. Food historians believe the pairing was in existence by at least the early 20th century, when Jewish delis began selling preserved salmon using recipes from Scandinavian immigrants. Soon, lox and cream cheese were a prized accompaniment to bagels—and a common offering at breakfast tables.

Bagels being prepared to be shipped at Brooklyn Bagels in Los Angeles. This wholesale bakery—which supplies most of the important Jewish delis in Southern California—traces its roots to the influential bagel bakers union in early 20th century New York City. Photograph By Glenn Koeng, Los Angeles Times/Getty Images

And so your morning breakfast was born—a uniquely American mash-up of immigrant ingenuity and traditional Jewish baking. But the bagel you enjoy with a shmear of cream cheese may bear little resemblance to the original breads produced in Poland by Jewish guildsmen so long ago.

As Goodman laments, bagel machines introduced big changes to bagel recipes, introducing ingredients like dough conditioners and preservatives and cutting out the boiling process in favor of oven steaming.

"The bagel, which had once been small, flavorful, dense, and crusty, was now precisely the opposite: huge, insipid, and pillowy soft," Goodman writes. Mass-produced bagels may have opened up a new frontier for bakers, but they also stripped the bread of its Jewish heritage and its roots in smaller, local, union-owned bakeries. Nonetheless, every holey bite bears a connection to centuries of history—and the story of a surprisingly resilient kind of bread.

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universallycoffeedream · 1 year

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thiskulifefall2022 · 1 year

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Town-Gown Relations

Prologue

Coming to college can be scary, especially if you’re not familiar with your surroundings. Some concerns may consist of being worried about there being nothing to do on or around campus. Ironically, Kutztown University is located-right smack in the middle of nowhere. Except in the middle of nowhere there is a fun sized town named Kutztown. Sitting at the top of Act 1: Down The Hill We Gothe hill is Kutztown University. Main Street is the pathway that connects the students and the town’s people. Walking down the pathway you first pass by Old Main, one of the 10 educational buildings built in 1866. Not too long before you come to the cross walk; the bridge that connects the streets of the town and the university. Walking across the white stripes on the street you get the first look of the town. As you make your way across the sidewalk you get the best view of the town. You look down on it at the top of the hill. You can see people walking about their business just by walking or driving down Main Street. One of the first shops you see on your right is Uptown Espresso Bar, a cute little coffee shop. Staring down you can see Tommy Boys and all the college students lined up for pizza. There are many more shops and activities to do on and off of campus. Not to worry, because we are going to give you some insight through three different acts. Act one is about things to do in town by Juliza. Act two is about the town opinions on the students by Lisa. Act three is about how charities and philanthropic events connect the students and town by Adria.

Act 1: Down The Hill We Go

“Where to go first?” was my first thought when my friends agreed to explore the town with me. My friends agreed that we would make time on my birthday to go to some of the shops in town. But we ended up going to the Uptown Espresso Bar for breakfast. It was small and homey. Then we went to class and later in the day we stopped by the Firefly Bookstore where they have a lot of books. They also have games, socks and many other things to buy. I ended up with a book as a gift for my birthday. Our last stop was the Kutztown Tavern for dinner. It was really good food. I had the spicy buffalo chicken pasta. It was fantastic. But, let’s move on so I can talk about more of what things people can do in Kutztown. When I first came to Kutztown, I did not think there was much to do, but I was wrong. There are many places off campus that even use bear bucks. For example some of the places are Dunkin Donuts, Mamma’s Delight Pizza & Restaurant and even Giant Food Stores. Some of these places seem too far away for a person without a car; however that’s not true because the shuttle’s route takes people out there. There are many places that are within walking distance as well. Uptown Espresso Bar is just a few feet away from the school’s welcome sign. I talked to some students who go to Kutztown recently to get opinions on what they think about the things to do in Kutztown. The first person I talked to is Gianna, a first year here. She has been to the Bagel Bar and Kutztown Tavern. She said that her favorite place would have to be the Local Folk Creative Studio.This is because they have crafts and the owner is a really sweet older woman. While Gianna is newer to Kutztown; I talked to a senior to get a view from someone who has been here longer. I talked to Alyssa. She has been almost everywhere in Kutztown; some include Pops, Ozgoods, and New China king. Her favorite place in town is the thrift shop because she just likes to shop. While both Gianna and Alyssa have said that meeting the town people have been good experiences. There are many places that have become fan favorites. Like Tommy Boy’s, a pizza place, many people go for a midnight snack or even during the day as a place to eat out with family/ friends. Another place is the Firefly Bookstore. They have game nights and books for days. It’s also just a fun place to look around. Kutztown is small for sure but there are many places that you just may not have seen or heard about yet. So, get your best walking shoes and just take a look around town. -Juliza Rodriguez

Act II: The Townsfolk: Pitchforks or a Warm Welcome?

Every time I’m in a college town, I always wonder the same thing: how well do the students coexist with the town? Do they make it better or worse for the people who live there? I know that young adults can be two sides of the same coin; helpful and kind or rowdy and thoughtless. At the same time, anywhere there is a large concentration of people is bound to stimulate the local economy, which helps everyone in the long run, especially business owners in the area. Because of all of this, I decided to go off into town and see what I could come up with.

The first person I interviewed was a friend named Dennis. Dennis is a Kutztown local who has been working in Althea's Imaginarium, next to the Firefly Bookstore, for over 10 years. I asked him what his thoughts of the college kids were, and he had (almost) nothing bad to say.

“Yeah all you kids are great,” he said, “On halloween there was a bunch of youse sitting out on the stoops and handing out candy to the kids, was the cutest s*** I’ve ever seen. I will say, though, sometimes drunk kids are kind of a problem. They get real loud. Still though, yall are definitely better than you were when we moved in here.”

This sentiment echoed true across the people I interviewed: the worst we are is too loud, too late at night. Otherwise, we do coexist pretty well! The next question to ask though, is how much do we help the local businesses? To answer that, I continued talking to local business owners or workers who know enough about the business to tell me how their finances are affected.

While talking to Dennis, I asked him how being in Kutztown has helped or hurt the imaginarium. According to him, being in a college town has really helped Althea’s continuously make profit. This rings true not just in Kutztown, but in many college towns such as Ithaca or New Haven, where there are high concentrations of head shops. This makes sense because many students want access to things like incense, crystals, posters, tapestries, and much more. It's a fantastic place to get things to decorate your dorm and add a bit of a “hippy” touch to things.

Beyond just being stimulated by the college students, Althea’s is also involved in the bi-annual Cannafest held at Renningers, and there they are able to make a good amount of profit at their stand. College students are a large percentage of the festival-goers there, as well. This in part has allowed the Cannabis Festival to grow to the point that they have 250 stalls. This provides a lot of business for local business owners even beyond CBD product sellers, such as local honey, wine, mead, handmade clothing/trinkets, and more. Plus, all of the increased traffic to Kutztown further stimulates our local economy

Another business owner I talked to was Dawn, owner of the Wicked Botanist, also on Main St. I asked her a similar question: Has branching out into a second store in Kutztown been good for her? Her first store in Bethlehem has been successful enough for her to open, and she says it's been great. According to her, college kids really like having plants for their rooms. She also has other knick-knacks, journals, candles, stickers, and more, which she says a lot of the students will end up leaving with after coming in just to look at the plants. Overall, her shop is doing really well and she’s happy to find so many students enjoying it.

All in all, the town doesn’t have much but kind thoughts for us. I mean, hey, frat boys are spending their own money just to hand out candy on Halloween! That’s awesome! And while people still need to be more mindful of their neighbors, overall we’ve gotten less loud and less drunk. So for the future, be sure to try and be considerate of your neighbors, pop into some of the shops, and maybe even consider volunteering locally so that we can keep our town relationship healthy.

~Lisa Boguslavskiy

Act 3: Greek Philanthropies That Connect the Town

If you’re reading this, you are probably concerned about the college and town life here. I was the same way, and I was worried for a while until I went out for Greek life. It was a great opportunity for me to connect and meet a plethora of different people. As a member of Zeta Tau Alpha, I soon realized how many organizations and philanthropic events connected students as well as the town. My organization's philanthropy is Breast Cancer Education and Awareness. Recently in October, which is Breast cancer Awareness month we held plenty of events that connected the students and the town. Some of the things we had done were a volleyball tournament, BBQ truck, and various stands that helped raise money. The BBQ truck parked on Noble Street and students and townies came and ordered food to raise money for our philanthropy.

For a better understanding, I interviewed one of my good friends Paige Gross. She is a member of Delta Phi Epsilon (DPHIE). That specific Greek organization philanthropy is: Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (CFF), The National Association for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD), Delta Phi Epsilon Educational Foundation, and the Sanctuary at Haafsville. The Sanctuary at Haafsville is a local animal sanctuary which is a great example of the town being connected to the students. To help out Paige also stated that “We go to the Sanctuary in Haafsville, PA to help out with cleaning cages for the animals, bring towels and toys, watch the animals to give the workers a break”. My grandma even adopted her cats Molly and Mable from there.

If you are wondering what type of events DPHIE hosts to promote and raise money for these causes here, you go. Paige gave us some insight on what these events were, she said “We have held Iris Icons to raise money for CFF. We also hold ANAD week to support the ANAD foundation”. That being said, that is only one of the sororities. There are plenty of Greek organizations that do similar things that keep us all connected.

-Adria Soto-DeLillo

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catfood998 · 2 years

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10 tips for successful weight loss

Numerous health issues might result from being overweight or obese. Although there are many different "fad" diets out there, a balanced lifestyle and nutritious food are the keys to better weight management and a healthy lifestyle.

In the United States, there were approximately 93.3 million adults who were obese in 2015–2016, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This figure represents 39.8% of the total population.

Obesity raises the risk of significant health issues like heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

Despite any benefits they may have, crash diets are not a long-term answer. It is crucial to adopt progressive, healthy lifestyle adjustments in order to lose weight healthily and maintain it over time.

We offer 10 weight-Loss tips in this article.

Human diets should be built around wholesome meals and snacks. Making sure that each meal contains 50% fruit and vegetables, 25% whole grains, and 25% protein is an easy approach to building a meal plan. 25 to 30 grams of fiber should be consumed daily. Daily Trusted Source (g).

Reduce your intake of saturated fats, which are strongly associated with the occurrence of coronary heart disease, and eliminate trans fats from your diet.

As an alternative, people might eat unsaturated fats like polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFA) or monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFA).

The following foods are wholesome and frequently nutrient-dense:

fresh vegetables and fruits

fresh fruits and vegetables

fish

legumes

nuts

seeds

whole grains, such as brown rice and oatmeal

The following foods should be avoided:

fatty red or processed meats, foods with added oils, butter, and sugar

baked goodies

white bread, bagels, and processed meals

In some cases, removing certain foods from the diet might cause a person to become deficient in some necessary vitamins and minerals. A nutritionist, dietitian, or another healthcare professional can advise a person how to get enough nutrients while they are following a weight loss program.

2. Keep a food and weight diary

For weight loss to be successful, self-monitoring is crucial. People can use a paper diary, a smartphone app, or a particular website to log every meal they consume every day. They can monitor their progress by keeping a weekly weight journal.

If someone can track their progress incrementally and see visual benefits, they are much more likely to stick with a weight loss regimen.

To keep track of their body mass index, folks can utilize a BMI calculator (BMI).

3. Engage in regular physical activity and exercise

Exercise on a regular basis is essential for both physical and mental health. For weight loss to be successful, increasing physical activity on a regular basis while being disciplined and intentional is frequently essential.

The optimal amount of moderate-intensity exercise per day is one hour of brisk walking. The Mayo Clinic advises people to aim for a minimum of 150 minutes per week if one hour per day is not feasible.

People who are not typically physically active should gradually increase their exercise volume and intensity. This strategy is the greatest long-term technique to guarantee that regular exercise turns into a way of life for them.

If the thought of a full workout seems intimidating to someone who is new to exercise, they can begin by doing the following activities to increase their exercise levels:

taking the stairs

raking leaves

walking a dog

gardening

dancing

playing outdoor games

parking farther away from a building entrance

#weight loss Tips #Top 10 weight loss #health tips

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hoodharlow · 3 years

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Mr. Hood [Teacher!Cal AU]: Chapter 2

Chapter 1

AN: So I made it to another chapter in this series. Buckle up folks bc it’s gonna get wild.

Requested?: no

Warnings: smut, petty remarks from calum

Word Count: 3600 words

"Mina, apurate. The meeting has already started." Odalis said impatiently to her daughter in the stall.

"Ya voy." Mina sang-song.

Odalis knew she should've made her go to the bathroom before leaving the bakery. Now she was late to the meeting for Mina's field trip. She wasn't sure how, but Aubrey roped her into being one of the chaperones. He was going to be, but because Johnathan got called to an emergency work trip, he cancelled.

Overall, she was dreading seeing the other moms. Most of them judged her because she was always working and never helped during fundraisers and all those other PTA activities. Odalis on the other hand didn't like them because one of them started a rumor that she's only Aubrey's surrogate and not really Mina's mom. Because it was completely reasonable for one fifteen year old to ask another fifteen year old to be their surrogate.

She just can't handle them being up her ass critiquing and giving her disapproving looks. Maybe the box of cheesecake brownies would make up for her tardiness. She knew those moms love her baking. They all conveniently act friendly towards her during Valentine’s day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Mina walked out of the stall and gave her an unsatisfied look. She pointed at her chef's jacket and Dickie's pants. "Why didn't you freshen up? You can't meet Mr. Hood like that."

She’s been insisting Odalis meet her new teacher so she can date him because her teacher choked on his coffee when she presented her family tree to the class. That family tree project was cursed.

It was a month ago when she was barely coming home from her night with Calum that Aubrey called her to ask if she could watch Mina because he got called into work. The day was fine. She had a little spa day at home with her, and they watched the first three Shrek movies. After dinner, Odalis was fixing Mina's homework folder when she saw the family tree project. A lot of tears were shed that night, most my Odalis. By the time Aubrey picked her up, the project was finished.

"Why are you so adamant about me meeting Mr. Hood? You know what? I'm not getting into it, hurry up."

She stepped out of the bathroom and paced around until Mina came out. They made their way to her class. As predicted all the moms sent her daggers as she slipped in the classroom. She bumped into a tall figure making her drop the brownies. She silently cursed and apologized to the person as she scrambled to pick up the pieces.

"Just take a seat." the person said.

She immediately recognized the voice.

It was Calum's.

Odalis set the box on the table and took a seat next to Mina in the back.

"As I was saying," Calum continued, looking away from her and back to the other parents.

Odalis wanted the ground to split open and swallow her whole. Of course she would sleep with her kid's teacher.

Her phone silently lit up. It was a text from her friend Ashton.

That was quite an entrance. The message read.

She looked up and scanned the classroom. She spotted Ashton's bright smile. He waved at her and turned to wave at Mina who returned an enthusiastic wave to him. Her phone lit up once more.

You're chaperoning?!? I'm about to order a 'MILF of the Year' trophy.

Odalis rolled her eyes at his message and went back to pretending to follow along to what Calum was saying.

"He's so handsome. I wonder how he's still single." She heard the lady next to her whisper to another mom.

"I know. You can just tell he's good in bed." The other agreed.

Odalis tried paying attention to Calum and the whole itinerary for the day while those two debated which position Calum is best at, but she couldn’t. She itched to tell them that being on all fours while he takes it from behind is a religious experience. Especially when he's whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

She shifted in her small seat, hoping to get some sort of relief in between her thighs. As she watched him, she tried to distract herself from the more filthy thoughts that filled her mind but failed. He talked with his hands, which were not helping the situation at all. There was also his teacher's voice. He spoke more articulate and precise whereas at the bar he was more relaxed and carefree. He sounded so demanding, yet caring. She couldn't explain it, but just from watching him in front of the classroom she knew he belonged there.

About half an hour later, she noticed everyone got up. She followed suit, and walked over to Mina, who was in Ashton's arms. She glanced back at Calum as he smiled and nodded to whatever the swarm of moms told him.

"Mina, recoge tus cosas." Odalis told her.

Her daughter huffed and Ashton set her down. She went back to where she was coloring and picked up her book and crayons.

"What are you doing here?" Odalis asked Ashton, reaching over to give him a side hug.

"My mate's the teacher. He needed another chaperone for the trip." He explained. He leaned in close her ear. "You didn't hear from me, but he slept with one of the parents here. So I'm here to see that shitshow unfold."

"Oh god, I'd hate to be that parent." She laughed awkwardly.

***

"Fuck! Right there Cal! Yes!" Anya screamed, as Calum took her from behind. In a matter of seconds she was a moaning mess.

“Shit." Calum grunted.

He closed his eyes, hoping he finally would cum. But all he pictured was Nelly and not the girl in front of him. He frustratedly pulled out of Anya and dumped the condom in the trashcan next to his nightstand.

"Did you—"

"No." He snapped. He dropped his shoulders. "Sorry, I just have a lot of shit in my head right now."

"Don't worry about it. One good thing about you, is that you make sure I finish at least twice." she teased, making him playfully roll his eyes at her.

Calum pulled on his sweats and got out of bed. Thankfully, Anya knew when her time was up. She didn't mind much, it came with the territory. She knew that someone like Calum wasn't in the cards for her. She picked up her clothes and went to the bathroom.

He gently knocked on the bathroom door. “I’m going to go take Duke out. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Help yourself to anything.”

“Okay, I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick.” She responded.

He grabbed his hoodie and exited the room. Duke lifted his head from the couch. His tail wagged excitedly as he watched Calum get his leash. He hopped off the couch and hopped on the small bench under the key holder where the leash is.

After struggling to get the raincoat on Duke, Calum and him were on their way down. Once they reached the lobby, Duke gave him an annoyed look after seeing that here wasn’t any reason for him to be in the raincoat. They spent fifteen minutes wandering around the same tree until Duke decided he rather pee on the small flower garden bed. If Ashton saw him now, he’d drop dead.

They went back inside just as it poured. Calum pressed the elevator button and waited. He answered a text from his best friend sent him, asking if he was still coming over to his girlfriend's belated birthday party as he rode back up to his room. By the time he arrived at his apartment, Anya had left.

Calum checked his calendar when he put Duke’s leash back on the key holder. The day of the field trip approached faster than Calum anticipated. It was weighing heavily on shoulders that he couldn't fuck it up. While he was getting ready, Dr. Tellez, the principal and his boss, called him telling him that she was going to meet them at the museum for a bit.

He finished buttoning the last button of his shirt when his phone rang. He patted his pants, cursing that he couldn't find it. He threw all his clothes off the bed and patted the duvet, nothing. He got up and surveyed his room. He spotted it on his night stand.

He saw Crystal, Ashton's girlfriend and one of the other third grade teachers, on his phone. He'd been avoiding her and Ashton since the meeting. When they went to their friend's house, Ashton badgered Calum the whole ride there, wanting to know which parent he slept with. "'Lo?" He answered.

"Hey, my car is out of juice. Can you stop by Delicias and hook me up?" Crystal said through the other side.

Delicias was Odalis' bakery and there's no way in hell he was ever going there.

"Can't you ask Ashton?" He asked.

"I'd ask Ashton, but he rode with me. Odalis is here, but she looks busy and I don't want to annoy her."

Calum silently cursed and rubbed the top of his nose. "I'll be there in a bit."

"Thank you! I'll go make Ashton buy you coffee and breakfast. They make the best bagel sandwiches ever."

Calum bid her goodbye and threw himself on the bed. Duke jumped on the bed and nudged him.

"I know mate," he sighed. He pulled Duke and scratched behind his ears. "Today's gonna be a shit show."

In less than ten minutes he pulled up to Delicias and parked next to Crystal's car. She already had her car ready for Calum.

"Thank you so much." She said after a few minutes. She tested her car and instantly it roared to life. "Oh look, there's Ashton."

Calum looked up and made a face as Odalis and Mina were with him. Odalis was already looking at him when he met her eyes. She quickly averted her gaze and nodded to whatever her daughter was saying.

He still couldn't wrap it around his head that Odalis was Mina's mom. But it made sense, personality wise, and everything Mina told him about her made sense too. Which was why seeing her small cutout on Mina's family tree project was adding salt to his wound.

When he woke up the following morning, he was surprised to find her side empty. He knew their encounter was a one time thing, but he was hoping it would have ended later, after a quick round and breakfast. That day he holed up in his room. His friend Luke had come by around noon to drop Duke off. Calum told him what happened the night before only for Luke to call him a dumbass.

Calum ended up sleeping the rest of the day and was unprepared for the following day when Mina proudly presented her project. Of all people he was not expecting Odalis to be on there, not to mention his neighbor from a few doors down was also on the poster. Not only did he sleep with his student’s parents, but his neighbor's daughter. Mina just had to put Odalis' father on her poster as well.

"Hi, Mr. Hood!" Mina greeted him when they approached him and Crystal. Calum waved to her. She not so subtly pushed Odalis to the front. "This is my mom, Odalis."

"I didn't get a chance to introduce myself the other day at the meeting. I’m Mr. Hood." He told Odalis with his hand stretched out. “Nelly right?”

"It's Odalis actually." She corrected him.

"Oh sorry, you look like someone I met before with that name." He apologized sarcastically. She gave him a sardonic smile before rolling her eyes.

"I have to go back to work." She told Ashton, ignoring Calum's last comment. She leaned in and gave Ashton a side hug and waved to Crystal. She tucked her hair back. "Mina, let’s go back inside and wait for grandpa."

“You’re not going to the museum?” Crystal asked her.

“No,” Odalis shook her head, she quickly glanced at Ashton. “I got a last minute order from an annoying customer.”

After Odalis and Mina drove off, Ashton smacked Calum upside his head.

"You two fucked!" Ashton yelled at him.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" He stammered, rubbing where Ashton hit him.

"I've known Odalis for almost six years. You think I don't know about ‘Nelly’? I was the one that called the cops when the creep showed up here, and I later suggested that she go by a fake name."

"Ash—"

"Don't Ash me. She's like my little sister. I can't believe you fucked my little sister!"

"I didn't fucking know!"

"Ash, fucking calm down." Crystal said calmly. "Here have some tea and go wait in the car."

"Fine, but at the museum I'm paired up with you and not him." Ashton slammed the car door shut, emphasizing his anger toward Calum. Though once inside he happily sipped his prickly pear and hibiscus iced tea.

***

Calum hadn’t heard from Ashton in two days, which was long for Ashton. So he was surprised to hear from him when he got a text from him on Valentine’s Day morning, that he better show up for Crystal’s surprise birthday party later in the evening. He planned on responding that her party was about two months late, but he didn’t want to risk getting uninvited.

He slipped his leather jacket over his hoodie and was on his way out. In less than fifteen minutes he pulled up to Ashton’s condo. He was locking his car when a bright red blur hurried past him.

It was Odalis.

His eyes followed her as she stalked a few boxes with her bakery’s logo on top of a hand truck. She wore a short scarlet red satin dress with a bright red turtleneck sweater. She looked beautiful, plain and simple.

Calum was going to approach, but hid behind his car when someone walked up to her. He couldn’t see who it was, but from her laugh, he hated him. He grabbed Crystal’s present, a charcuterie set he ordered from Crate and Barrel. He slipped inside and made his way to Ashton’s yard. Grabbing a beer from the cooler behind the makeshift bar, he made his way to greet Crystal.

“Happy belated birthday, love.” He said, pulling her to hug.

“Thanks Cal!” She squealed. It was obvious she had a little bit too much to drink. She looked down at the wrapped box. “Is that for me? You got me a present?”

“Of course it’s your birthday party.” He smiled.

“You’re like the best co-worker, Cal.” She gave him another hug before taking the present and went to her friends. They all cheered as she showed off the box.

Calum finished off his beer and went over to Michael and his fiance, Hunter. He pulled Michael into a hug and gave Hunter a side hug. He didn’t miss a beat and congratulated them on their engagement. He told Hunter about how nervous Michael was a few weeks ago when he got the guys together to tell them about how he planned to propose. The trio chatted for a while. Ashton eventually joined them. The only person missing was Luke.

“Luke is absolutely smitten. He hasn’t left her side.” Hunter said, sipping some of her piña colada seltzer.

Calum turned back to where she was looking and found Luke talking to Odalis. He frowned seeing her smiling at Luke. Part of him wanted to go up to them, but he couldn't. Ashton would have his head for ruining Crystal's part and serve it in the charcuterie board he got Crystal.

"I'm gonna go get food." He told them.

"I moved all the food inside and just left the desserts buffet." Ashton told him.

Calum nodded and went into the kitchen. He grabbed a plate and served himself. He read through some emails from the PTA moms about the upcoming bake sale while he ate.

He went to the bathroom in Ashton's guest room. He heard the bedroom door close as he peed. A hushed voice filled the whole room. After finishing his business he waited a few more minutes until they hung up. He quickly flushed the toilet and washed his hands. His eyes met Odalis' when he exited the bathroom.

"Following me around I see." she said.

"I was taking a piss when you got inside. Maybe check if the room's being occupied before coming in, Nelly." He said, leaning against the door.

"It's Odalis." She corrected him.

"Could've fooled me— actually you did." he sarcastically laughed.

Odalis was quiet. After finding out he was Mina's teacher, she forced her dad to take her place as chaperone. She didn't know how to feel. Part of her wants the earth to swallow her whole, but the part of her feels relieved to see him. She missed him for some odd reason. There was something about him that attracted her to him.

"You okay?" Calum asked her. He waved his hand in front of her face when he noticed her zone out.

She blinked a few times and then met his gaze. Her eyes dropped to his lips. She longed to have his mouth on her. She spent nights just getting off at the thought of his kisses. How he kissed with so much determination, how he'd smiled on her lips when she moaned as he fucked her senseless.

Odalis got on her tippy toes and leaned in. It took Calum a second to kiss her back, he surprised that he was kissing her once more. Without breaking their kiss, he grabbed the back of her thighs and picked her up. Pushing her against the door, he locked it.

She pulled away and slipped off her sweater. Odalis pushed his jacket off him and helped him out of his hoodie and shirt. She slid her hands over his chest and up to his face. She couldn't believe he was in front of her.

Their kisses led them to the bed. The last few layers of clothes shed as they got reacquainted with their bodies.

"Can I have a taste?" Calum whispered in her ear. Odalis looked up at him with an unreadable expression. "I don't have to, of course. Whatever we do is up to you. If you just want to make out then we'll just make out. But if you want to have sex, fine by me. I want you to know that you're not obligated to do anything. We can stop and just act like—"

"Just be gentle." She said, stopping him from rambling.

"Wait, seriously?" His face lit up.

"Yes." she softly giggled.

Odalis wrapped her arms around him as she deepened the kiss. She let out a soft groan when Calum pulled away from her lips. She watched him kiss her body as he made his way down.

He looked up at her when he reached her dripping core.

"Ready?" he asked.

Odalis nodded her response, partly speechless that he was actually going to go down on her.

"Use your words, sweetheart."

"Yes."

Calum nodded and opened her legs to him. He kissed up her thigh, gently nipping her and repeated with her other leg. He smirked to himself, hearing how restless Odalis got.

She let out an inaudible gasp of pleasure when Calum licked her. She tried closing her legs, but Calum's grip on them kept her in place. He moaned at her taste and savored her, taking his time with his tongue. He pushed one of her legs to her chest, giving him better access to her.

"I'm gonna insert a finger in you, okay?" He asked.

"Yes, that's okay." She panted.

Calum continued to eat her out for what seemed an eternity, but Odalis wasn't complaining. He inserted another while he pressed his thumb on her clit. Odalis felt something build up in her. She felt pleasantly overwhelmed with Calum's fingers and tongue. Calum felt it too. He sped up his fingers and circled his thumb on her clit roughly.

"Calum!" She moaned out, not caring who heard her. Calum lapped up her release. He dropped her legs down and laid next to her.

Odalis didn't wait another second. She pulled him back on top of her and kissed him. They continued to kiss, teasing touches here and there, but nothing too intense for either of them. That is until Odalis thrusted her hips to meet his hips. They rolled around shuffling to get a condom from the drawer in the nightstand.

"Please, Cal, I want you so bad," she whined. He bit back a sarcastic remark and just gave her what she wanted. She gasped loudly as he slid into her without a warning.

Calum buried his face in her neck. With a few slow and deep thrusts he began to take her at that slow and deep pace. Her fingers clawed at his shoulders and back. His head was buried in her neck, praising her with sweet nothings.

“Cal, fuck,” she panted, gripping his biceps as she met his thrusts.

He pulled his hips back, pulling almost all the way out of her. He slammed into her without a warning and slowly retracted his cock once again. He continued to take her like that until she was a moaning mess. Calum slowly circled his thumb over her clit, nearing her to her climax. She clenched around him, his name was at the tip of her tongue. All she needed were a few thrusts. But then she felt empty. She opened her eyes and saw Calum getting up from the bed.

"You owe me a date, sweetheart."

Taglist: @another-lonely-heart @sunshinebabycal @calumscalm @karajaynetoday @cherryxwildflower @myloverboyash @idontneedanyone @findingliam-o @5-secondsofcolor @spicylftv @sexgodashton @2fangirl4u @fckingpernico @calpops

Special guests: @be-ready-when-i-say-go and @kindahoping4forever bc I named Michael and Ashton's significant others after them

#calum hood smut #calum hood fanfic #calum hood series #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfiction #calum hood fan fiction #calum hood fan fic #teacher!cal series #teacher!Cal

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thelunareclipse · 3 years

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Tag Yourself and a Person

4am - messy sketches, online friends across the world, open windows, a little sad but hides it well, long distance relationship, lofi music, blushing

6am - chlorine, cold air, cats stretching, a heavy sweatshirt, bagels, black coffee, routine, intrusive thoughts, smiling with friends

8am - Smiling at your reflection, organized planner, folded shirts, high TV volume, sending a text, waiting for hours

10am - fuzzy socks, the color yellow, flower picking, whispering secrets, warm weather, folk music, cloud bread, feels like they can’t ever fit in

12pm - Sheet protecting a bed, spring, activism, not feeling good enough, big dogs, empty sketchbooks

2pm - rocking chairs, heavy heat of summer, floral perfume, unbrushed teeth, chopping fresh fruit

4pm - heavy rain on a tin roof, petrichor, new books, black tea, waiting rooms, cars with headlights on, smiling despite anxiety

6pm - small dogs, barbecue, laughter drifting through music, heavy hip hop, lakes, getting into a fight after being cheated on

8pm - the color lavender, scrolling through pinterest, nostalgia, soft warm breeze, fireflies, journal entries, dirt underneath fingernails, burned out

10pm - altars with shiny crystals on them, fuzzy blankets, breathing in cool autumn air, silver necklaces, wikipedia articles, feels like the world is falling apart

12am - nightmares, indie music, smudged mascara, acrylic paint long dried, packing a bag, typing quickly, being afraid to sleep

I’m 12am, @heart-fleeting is 4am and anyone who wants to can do it

#tag game #happy tag #aesthetic

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babbushka · 4 years

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Hi Zannah!! I just wanted to tell you how much I love your writing! You're amazing, keep up the good work! Although I have a huge question for you (don't be scared haha)! I'm a muslim girl and I'm very interested in the Jewish religion. Can you tell me more about your life as a Jewish woman? How is it? You're probably going to tell me to Google it but I want to hear it from someone who practice it! Take your time to answer! I love you sister

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words about my writing!

I’m afraid that I’m going to disappoint you with this answer, because first and foremost I feel I need to make the distinction that I don’t very heavily or actively practice the Jewish religion in the traditional sense. I don’t go to temple or keep the Sabbath, I didn’t have a bat mitzvah, I didn’t go to Hebrew school, and I don’t keep kosher.

I’m what’s called an Ethnic Jew, that is someone who has a Jewish lineage, as opposed to someone who actively practices the religion of Judaism. These things are not mutually exclusive! I know it’s an unusual concept, but a person can have full Jewish lineage and not practice the religion at all, in the same way that someone can become Jewish by conversion and have not a single drop of Jewish blood in their bodies.

I am the former, someone who has heavy Jewish lineage (my maternal line is Jewish as back as we have record), but because my mother wanted to assimilate me and my brother, we were not raised actively practicing Judaism. My grandmother was understandably not pleased with this at all, and so she took me to temple as a young child and we celebrated all the holidays together, but as an adult, I have a lot of differing opinions on G-d and if one really exists and all that, so I don’t follow the religious teachings anymore.

However, I am ethnically Jewish, so I grew up around other Jewish people and the Jewish culture. The food, the language, the music, the holidays, the traditions, are all a very large part of my life. I just don’t go to temple and my Hebrew is very poor lol (I speak more Yiddish than Hebrew but even my Yiddish isn’t that fluent since my immediate family doesn’t speak it). I may not follow the religious teachings, but I follow the ethical and moral ones, and I celebrate my family’s heritage and my culture.

So to answer your question of what’s my life like as a Jewish woman, I’m afraid that there’s not much about me being Jewish that specifically impacts my daily life in any particular way, aside from the constant harassment I get when I go to certain areas. I wear a Magen David around my neck which visibly marks me as Jewish and that is something I am very proud of -- but it does unfortunately draw negative attention from people who do not like Jewish people. But I feel that, unfortunately, all marginalized people are subject to that possibility of harassment, that’s not something specific to being Jewish.

But other than that, there are just the normal pressures to do well that I feel every family puts on their children. Do well in school, do well in life, become a big shot as a doctor or a lawyer, and then disappoint everyone when you decide to become an artist lmao. Go to weddings, sit shiva for funerals. Make good choices and get married yourself and have lots of kids and raise them Jewish lol.

I love my life as a Jewish woman so so much. I love listening to my families stories, I love listening to our personal history. I love telling Jewish jokes because the humor is very specific to us and I genuinely find all of it so funny. I complain all the time, and loudly, because dammit I’ve earned the right to lol. I love lox bagels and matzo ball soup and Hanukkah is my favorite holiday. I sing Yiddish songs while I clean the house and I eat apples and honey for the Jewish new year -- but I am not by any means Orthodox.

I follow the ethical teachings, things like kindness above all else, compassion for others, peace for the sake of peace and also for self-preservation, but also fighting for what you know to be right. One of our most well known Rabbis, a man named Hillel has many teachings which I live my life by, things like, “That which is hateful to you, do not do to another. That is the whole Law. The rest is commentary.” and “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?”

Another very well known Rabbi, a man named Simeon ben Gamliel has a quote I like very much that sums up my Jewish approach, “The world rests on three things: justice, truth, and peace.”

I hope I’ve answered your question somehow, some way. I hope that I haven’t disappointed you by revealing that I’m technically not a very good, practicing Jewish person, lol, but I think one of the beautiful things about the day and age we live in is that we can take our heritage and celebrate the parts we agree with, evolve or ignore the parts we don’t, all while maintaining those core tenants which make our culture so strong. I don’t think that’s specific to Judiasm and Jewishness, but it certainly is something that’s very prevalent in the Jewish community (at least in my experience, again I can’t speak for anyone else!)

I am sending you all my love my dear friend, I hope you’re doing well and having a lovely day or evening, wherever you are

#Anonymous #cowboy answers

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nerdy-flower · 6 years

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@sinunamor IT IS WRITTEN

Sorry for the heckin long wait ;^; here it is! Ernest Growing Up Part 3/3! (For now~)

(Ernest curses a lot and it’s a little sad at the beginning, otherwise it’s G)

It isn't working.

In spite of everything, Ernest came out of college doing kind of okay. He had an alright resume, a little pocket of savings, some furniture. Better than some kids he sat next to at graduation, for sure. He gets that coveted first apartment to himself- literally a room and a bathroom. The water pressure is like a dog lifting its leg and peeing on him and the neighbours are obnoxious, but it was his. He was paying rent! Utilities! Insurance, even! Life was looking up! Was.

He stayed in the city he went to school in, With his Pop's new condo a half hour away, it didn't feel so far. They'd have dinner all the time. Pop would give him tips on places to go and things to see. At one point, he says he wouldn't have moved here if he didn't know Ernest was staying. Ernest didn't have a great answer for that, tongue sudden;y stuck. They get froyo anyway.

His shit job became two shit jobs and then one again, then two, then three very briefly, then one with occasional paid-in-cash online ads stuff. Maybe illegal? Only in a tax law way, so whatever. He busts his ass- well, some of the time. Sometimes he half-asses it and gets paid anyway, other times he gets fired, depends on the place. What it comes down to is that he never has enough money. All the Gen Z-targeted personal finance advice blogs are shit, too. “Get a roommate!” For where? The cupboard under his kitchen sink?

Actually, in his postal code, someone might take it. But they'd be just as broke as him.

Even now, he feels spoiled and pathetic. Plenty of people just had to make do, they didn't have a Dad to send cheques in the mail, a stepdad to order them groceries online, a Pop to full-on spot them rent money. He tries and tries to make it work and he /can't./

Finally, he picks up the phone. “Dad?”

“Ernest? What's the matter? Is everything-”

“Can I come home?” With his stuff, he means, with the furniture he can't use anymore and his rejected debit card and-

Hugo makes this little noise, a very parental click of concern that sticks right in his chest. “Of course, always.”

Lucien drives him because he's been working solely off his laptop and following Pablo around the East Coast. Ernest isn't a hundred percent on what he does, but it's enough to pay for a rental van and a premium streaming account so commercials don't interrupt their drawn-out silence on the way back North to Maple Bay.

“Do you need to be an asshole about this? I said I was sorry, okay? I'll pay you back as soon as I get money, /god./”

“All I asked,” Lucien drawls, smartass as always. “Is if you wanted me to buy you a bagel. So I'll just buy your least favourite one and we'll carry the fuck on, shall we?”

Ernest officially hates everything forever, but mostly himself.

Dad and Damien welcome them home with big, awkward hugs and lots of understanding when he wants to go to bed straightaway and they left his room the way it was and /fuck/-

Pics or it didn't happen, as the young adults say. If no one sees him crying and hugging his teddy in his mid-twenties, it never took place.

His dignity drops a few more points the next day when he has to beg and plead with his Dad not to tell Pop.

“What if he goes to your place and you're not there?” Hugo insists, hands soapy from washing the dishes. “He'll be so worried!”

“He always calls or texts first, always,” Ernest thrusts another dried plate into the cupboard and balls his fists together. “I'm not gonna pretend forever, honest. /Please/, Dad, just a few more days, that's all I'm asking. It's my thing to tell him, anyway!”

“Okay, okay,” Hugo holds his hands up in a peacemaking gesture. He tucks some overgrown hair behind his ear- shit, he's gone even more grey. His dads are going grey and he can't afford his own Netflips account. “I won't tell him, but if he calls and asks, I'm not going to lie. Alright?”

“Fair enough,” Ernest sighs through his nose, tucking the cutlery away in brooding silence. Goddammit, he's too old to brood. This sucks.

Hugo watches him a minute before draining the sink. “Have you heard from Carmensita? She's back in town, you two should meet for coffee or something. Get your mind off things.”

Ernest swings his head around, barely listening to the second half of the sentence. “She's back already? I know she was talking about it, but- yeah. I'll text her.”

He does, and they meet up, later that day because his schedule is open indefinitely. He waves to River and Crish, doing something with multiple types of sportsballs in the Cahn family driveway and thankfully too focused to do more than wave back. Carmensita comes strolling out of Mat's house in a flower-print romper and jogs up the sidewalk to him and he's never, ever been so happy to see someone.

Except that time he got lost at Disney World, but we don't talk about that.

“There's my favourite human!” Ernest laughs as she hops up to hug him. He insists he never got taller, she got shorter, but she still gives the greatest hugs. “No more braids, huh? That's a big change.”

Carmensita giggles and teases her fingers through her mohawk, her sides shaved down to thatches of brown fuzz. “I just got it done, do you like it? It's pretty different, for me at least.”

“I love it,” Ernest scratches one side of her undercut until she playfully bats his hand away. “Nah, it suits you. Makes you look cool and smart, like you're gonna mess somebody up but with your know-how instead of your fists.”

“Overly specific, but I'll take it.” Carmensita grins, a flash of snarky white and he feels like he can stand up straighter. They wave again at the over-active River on their way across the cul-de-sac, and 'Sita leans in to him, talking behind her hand. “You heard about Ashley and Mary, right?”

“Yeah, I sure did.” Ernest glances across the street, almost feeling eyes on him from Mary's house. Which used to be Julian's house, but then Julian and Damien talked and agreed to sell it to Mary shortly after her divorce so she could get out of Damien's spare bedroom and have enough space that custody would be a non-issue. Julian was totally cool with it, because he was practically moved in with Mat anyway and Amanda was fully settled into New York- “God, this neighbourhood is weird.”

“Something in the groundwater, I think,” Carmensita laughs, shaking her head. “Craig's the real deal though. He's legit totally cool with it. I was here in time for the first summer BBQ and I expected, y'know, some awkwardness.”

“Folks around here save all the awkwardness for their kids,” Ernest drawl to make her laugh again. It's nearly sticky outside, but he refuses to remove his sweater. He goes bare-armed for exactly two months a year, tans up real nice, and goes right back into his cotton cocoons of happiness. “So how's life n'stuff?”

“Life n'stuff is pretty good. I've got all my boxes unpacked in less than two months, so that's my record.” She slips off her glasses to polish them on her shirt. “I'll show you my place when we get there, I'm teaching piano lessons out of my living room right now, and- oh! You know what tonight is, right? Are you busy?”

Ernest shakes his head to both, he's been too depressed to check social media and he definitely isn't busy. “What's tonight?”

Carmensita grins wide and imitates an airhorn to punctuate her words. “Open mic night! Woo woo woo!”

It's a little different to watch from the audience with everyone else. The Cahn twins are working part-time at the Spoon now and they're the ones doing the backstage stuff. Lucien drives into town for it, Pablo's tour wrapping up with 'boring business shit' that he'd apparently rather skip. The three of them claim a corner table with high stools and enjoy the quirky parade.

His dad was right, it is nice to forget about his bullshit for a while. He recognizes kids he used to see racing around the playground strumming guitars and nervously messing up their lyrics. Back then he would have made fun of them, and maybe he does chuckle a little, but he gives them credit. He hasn't been on a stage in- oof, at least a year. Discounting karaoke, of course. He wonders what Disaster Master Quinn is up to these days.

The night ends, early enough for all the teens to go to bed, with a pretty tight Sunstroke Project cover on theramin. There is much clapping and whooping and thanking before everyone starts clearing out. Carmensita chugs the rest of her coffee, discreetly wiping her mouth on her sleeve. “Alright, let's pay our tabs and head upstairs. Who's feeling Mario Party?”

“You know I am,” Lucien smirks as they gather their things. “None of the car ones though, I hate that shit.”

Ernest loses the thread of the conversation because there's a hiss of static in his ears. He can't pay his tab. His chequing account is a negative number and he can't remember if their register takes credit or not but that's not an option either. He's too broke. To pay for a goddamn /tea./ God, why does he only clue into shit when it's too late?

The thought of asking them to pay makes him wanna puke, so he performs the maneuver that saved him from many a terrible college party: the Irish Goodbye.

The crowd makes it easy to slip away. He lopes through the parking lot and heads into the undeveloped no-man's land behind the softball field. He shuts off his phone, which any rational instinct would encourage him not to do. He's gonna take the long, long way home and- then what? Isn't that just the biggest fucking question of his life- and then what, you witless idiot?

The static does not stop as he hurries through the warm summer air, eventually cutting across the street and walking down the bay. His pulse is really high for no friggin' reason and he probably couldn't type a text if he needed to- wait, is this a panic attack? No, come on. He's too old to get on any of his dads' benefits. He can't be doing this. He can't, he can't-

A car drives up slowly beside him, and he has a split-second of facing his death before the window rolls down to reveal two annoyed, very familiar faces. “You live in my Dad's house, what the hell was your long-term plan with this?”

“Look, I'm sorry, I couldn't pay and I-” Ernest rakes a hand through his hair, pulling on his scalp. “I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up, okay? I shouldn't have come out tonight, I'm no good to be around right now.”

Carmensita runs her tongue over her bottom lip. “You ditched us over a four-ninety-seven tab?”

“I called it.”

She scowls, undoes her seatbelt, and clambers out of the passenger door, stomping around to his side. “Give me your face, right now. C'mere-”

Ernest hunches his shoulders so she can reach, mostly out of confusion. She takes his cheeks in her warm hands and paps them with each word, like she's trying to wake up a drunk guy in a movie. “We're not hanging out with your wallet! We want to hang out with /you,/ if you'll stop! Being! Such! A! Dumbass!”

“Can you stop smacking my face?”

“Maybe,” Carmensita drops her hands after two more, crossing her arms. “Seriously though, not cool. What's gotten into you?”

“Dude, I forgot that I couldn't afford to buy a bagel, like how fucked am I?” Ernest scrubs his face, palms burning with his need for a shave. “Everything's so messed up right now. I feel like a complete waste of space.”

“Again with this?” Lucien makes an irritated noise from the car, leaning out the window. “Like you're the only one who's ever been broke. How much money do you think I had after college?”

“Why do you think I'm living over my dad's shop?” Carmensita tilts her head at him. “I know you're upset, but you're not on your own, for god's sake. I would have bought you that bagel anyway, you didn't need to freak out.”

“Guhhhh,” Ernest pushes the heel of one palm against his eye. “I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. I can barely fuckin' think right now.”

“Do you wanna go home or do you wanna play video games with us?” Lucien asks, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “No judgment either way. But maybe decide quick, before some cops come by and get all up in our business.”

Ernest would really like to bury himself in all of his blankets but, in the interest of not continuing to screw up his personal relationships, he picks the right choice. “Video games, please.”

They collectively kick the CPU's ass at getting stars and Carmensita hugs him before he leaves, Lucien's taillights in the distance. “You're not a waste of space, okay? It'll get better, just don't let things get this bad again.”

He almost misses being the one to cheer her up. It's a shitty thing to miss, but at least he didn't go home feeling all squashed on the inside.

Ernest gets up the guts to call his Pop a few days later. He's totally cool about it, even though he sunk how much into that one room. Somehow that makes Ernest feel worse.

“Trust me, my credit in my early twenties was a /mess,/ I was really stupid with my money. It was bad. Like, scary bad. Your gramps flipped his lid when he saw my pile of bills on the table.”

“Mine's a mess too,” Ernest mumbles, knees folded up to his chest as he leans back against his headboard.

“Yeah, but it's more fixable than it looks. It'll just take time. If you owned a car or something that would be kinda rough, but hey, I turned it around, didn't I? Before I met your dad too, no way would he have dated pre-grad school me. Nuh-uh,” Pop laughs, a hiss-crack in his ear because he does this weird almost-silent laugh that Ernest makes fun of constantly. “Tell you what, I'll pay off your card so you're not getting those assholes calling you every day. Then you can focus on finding a job, I heard they have a youth program you'd still-”

“I'm sorry,” Ernest manages to wobble out, a big lump in his throat as the tears burn.

“What?” Pop's voice turns all anxious and concerned, which hurts even worse. “Hey, kiddo, it's alright. You don't have to be sorry. I know you were trying your best, it's really tough when you're starting out alone-”

“I'm so sorry,” Ernest hiccups, covering his face with his hand as he snots. “I can't pay you back and I probably never will and I'm gonna have to put Dad in a nursing home with cockroaches because they just slashed teacher pensions again and everything is so fucked /forever./”

“Ernest, Ernest, listen to me,” Pop's voice strains against the weak receiver of his phone. “Nothing is fucked, okay? No one's mad at you. We'll fix this, I promise. Ernest?”

It's a rough month, for sure. Pop comes to visit. Him and Dad have been really good at not-bitching-at-each-other since he crossed that adulthood threshold. Maybe it was child support that made them fight after all. Pop used to get these little digs into dad, telling him to quit and go into something with a future. Maybe him and money are just cursed or something.

He loses it again when they hug him at the same time. He's only gotten those at graduations and he's all out of those now. “We would do anything and everything for you, do you hear me?” Dad is halfway out of his lawn chair, the three of them on the back porch, having borrowed a little barbecue from Brian. “I'd rather have you here than starving in some apartment somewhere. Everything's going to be fine, mijo. I promise.”

“I'll bring you down for a visit whenever you want.” Pop assures him as he's leaving, hugging him again. It's so weird that he's taller than him now. “If you want to move, I'll help. But honestly, you might be better off here for a bit. Rent is going crazy in the city and it's not worth it.”

“How does a couple hours' drive make such a huge difference?” Ernest sniffs, shuffling in the driveway.

“I mean, I could explain but it's really boring.” He smiles and ruffles his hair. “You'll be alright, kiddo. Don't worry so much, okay?” Easier said than done, but it's well-meant. He accepts it.

He does qualify for extra help at the employment place, but unfortunately he has a humanities degree, which means no marketable skills. Which means part-time at the small bougie grocery store downtown, which is in fact a hell of a lot better than nothing.

“Excuse me.” An older woman clutching a plastic handbag strolls up to him while he's stocking shelves. “Do you have any of those sweet honey mustards?”

“No ma'am, sorry. We ran out.”

She narrows her beady eyes at him. “Why?”

Most of the time.

Carmensita's doing pretty well for herself between the Coffee Spoon and her piano lessons. Not move-into-her-own-place good, but she's got a nice little loft space over the shop. Sick prints up all over the walls, those fairy lights she's always liked, her keyboard set up beside her computer desk all tidy for when the kids come by. Ernest spends his off-hours googling potential side-hustles and making music for the first time in a while.

“-Practically everybody's stressed, yes!” Ernest snaps his fingers with one hand and runs his beats with the other. “But they press through the mess, bounce cheques, and wonder what's next!”

“In the heights! I buy my coffee and I go,” Carmensita sings clear as anything, laying into her keys. “Set my sights on only what I need to know...”

“Girl, how'd you get so good at that? Damn,” Ernest shakes his head after they stop recording. “It's like Mandy Gonzalez was right here.”

“Vocal coaching, son!” Carmensita grins, sticking out her thumb and pinky finger and twisting her wrist. “Taught me how to sing from the diaphraaaaaaagm.”

Ernest cracks up at the low note she hits, spinning around in her chair and staring at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. “Hey, do you ever feel bad for being happy? Like, you're not supposed to be, or something?”

“Hell yeah, all the time,” Carmensita stretches, laying out on her secondhand piano bench and popping her back. “Like if I'm having a good day I get thinking, 'oh but if I was at X point, I could be doing Y.' I think I'm scared I'll get complacent or something.”

“Yeah,” Ernest sits up, catching his feet on the carpet. “But like, I don't know how long our whole generation's gonna be stuck like this. So if we can't enjoy this...”

“Oof, heavy stuff.” Carmensita swats at the bag of mini Oreos until he passes it to her, grabbing a handful himself. “This isn't so bad though. Who knows, maybe we'll look back with nostalgia goggles and miss it.”

“Yeah.” He settles back in the chair, toying with the music program on his aging laptop. “Maybe.”

Carmensita sits up, tugging her off-the-shoulder t-shirt back down where it had ridden up on her belly. “Wanna eat pot brownies and watch Bebop again?”

Ernest scoffs. “Is that even a question?”

By the time Pablo and Lucien come down for Thanksgiving Part One (there's always cliffhanger holidays with divorced parents, but it's not so bad anymore, it's just a part of it), his life has a routine. He's too grown to resent 'being another cog in the machine' in any significant way. Predictable income and free time is a blessing and a half and he's not giving it up unless he works his way up to something real good. Which will take time, and energy, and so, so much luck.

But right now he's got a favourite lunch and does his share of the chores (cleaning Damien's weird house only seems daunting, it just takes a lot of furniture polish and a big-ass feather duster). He sees his Pop as often as he can with him jetting all over the continent, texting when they're in different time zones and laughing about stupid coworker stories (his Pop's are more maddening, apparently higher salaries don't strain out the truly incompetent, somehow that's comforting, too).

He can pay for Coffee Spoon bagels now, coming to Carmensita's aid during lulls in her shifts. Both their schedules are pretty regular, so they exchange barely a message or two before coming to see each other at certain points in the week. With what pocket money they do have, they get concert tickets once or twice, go ice skating, and buy fries at the mall, wandering around the stores after dark and trying to pick out new versions of themselves. Mostly they just go home with small things they don't need and pricey chocolate bars they split. When she gets wicked cramps, he hits her up with aspirin and movies they've seen ten times. When he can't get out of bed, she sends him memes and cute dog videos.

Dad and Damien are gross as per usual, but they're also way less nosy than they used to be. It's weird to just take off for the day or night without any further questions. Though coming back is a different story.

“I got your text,” Hugo leans out of the study (yes, they have one, of course they do) when he hears Ernest's sock feet shuffling up the hallway. “What happened?”

“I don't know,” Ernest shrugs, unbuttoning his uniform shirt. “A sewer main burst while they were working on the parking lot. The fire department scooted everyone out of there pretty quick, it smelled awful. I had better get paid for the full shift.”

“You have a right to, you weren't the one driving the backhoe.” His dad grins, re-shelving a book before shutting the door. “On the bright side, unexpected free time is always a bonus.”

“It sure is, and I'm gonna use it to take a well-deserved nap.”

“Oh.” A beat while he fixes his expression. “Okay, I'll record that documentary for you.”

Ernest turns, hand on the ornate doorframe. “Is that on today?” Hugo's eager nod goes right between his ribs and he smiles. “Nah, I'll watch it with you. Naps mess up my sleep schedule anyway, make me all cranky in the morning.”

“As opposed to any other morning?”

“Rude,” he snorts while his dad chuckles. “I'll be down in a minute, okay? Just gotta get changed and stuff.”

“Okay.” Not five minutes into changing and checking his email, he gets a text.

HV: You want to order in for dinner? Two-for-one at the pizza place

HV: We can get those chicken bite things, I have a coupon :)

Ernest laughs, oddly reminded of coming home to Duchess after high school sleepovers. He sends a quick 'sure dad,' and takes some of his recycling down. They spend the evening in their boxers on the couch in the den, three of the four hairless cats Damien had adopted when they came through the shelter (he didn't last long post-Duchess once he had a taste of pet ownership) snuggled up beside and on top of them. It's not their first or last night spent this way.

He does quietly scream to the heavens at the mere suggestion of a girlfriend. “I'm a cashier- oh, sorry, 'customer service associate.' All I've got to offer someone right now is pocket lint and my winning personality.”

“But that is precisely what you should be offering in a relationship!” Damien insists, winding black tinsel up the staircase while Ernest does the same on the other side. “If wealth was a prerequisite, only the rich would fall in love.”

“I don't need to be rich, but I do need a little something to put in my dating profile, you know?” He's already down a few pegs courtesy of his 'no sex for me please' sexuality, but he won't bring that up now. Tis the season, and all that.

“You have much to include! You are in possession of many fine qualities,” Damien smiles at him, looking less vampire and more nerd with his hair up in a bun and his glasses on. His outfit is like Dickens and Mary Shelley had a weird baby, though. “Your father and I just think it would be nice if you had someone special in your life, that's all. We're not pressuring you to bring someone home for the holidays.”

“Well, that's appreciated,” Ernest ties off the tinsel, zipping up his hoodie again. What did thermostats ever do to fathers, anyway? “I'm just kind focusing on me right now. I'll get in a relationship when I'm in a better spot.”

“Ah, that is fair,” Damien grabs another handful of tinsel for the top banisters. “But love can happen upon you when you least expect it. Such was the case for me both times.”

Ernest had never decided if Damien getting sappy about his dead husband or his very-alive husband who is also Ernest's dad was worse, they might tie for first place.

EHV: Plz never let me become this gross n sentimental when I'm old plz

LB: You cry at Hamilton now and you've seen it so many fing times

EHV: ELIZA DESERVED BETTER GDI DON'T START W ME

CS: I WILL CRY AT ITS QUIET UPTOWN UNTIL THE DAY I DIE FIGHT ME SCRUB

EHV: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT

LB: Oh ffs I forgot this was the groupchat

Speaking of awkward sad times, this year's holidays are busy and bright and not as rushed as last year where he could barely visit anyone for more than a couple hours, but the same anniversary comes around. He's celebrating a third Christmas up at Damien's parents place over New Year's weekend, laughing it up while everyone is maybe too drunk, but he has a sixth sense when that text buzzes in.

CS: I wish missing someone didn't hurt so much :(

EHV: I know <3

CS: Dad's sad, but he's got Julian now

CS: I'm just by myself up in my old room, they're asleep already

EHV: Aw, shit. Do you want me to call you?

CS: No, you're with family. I'm fine

EHV: Everyone is tipsy and Dad is losing at trivial pursuit

CS: Okay then yes please <3

He makes his first appearance at open mic night in the cold and crisp new year. One technical glitch makes him nearly piss himself but it otherwise goes okay. Carmensita sings right after him, her dad on guitar and it's so frickin' good.

“God, you guys are so cool,” he says afterwards, spinning a bottle of Windex around his finger and taking Wild West-style aim at the glass in front of the baked goods.

“Glad I've still got it,” Mat grins, going back to counting the money. “You should do more of these, everyone was super into it. There's another place that does really good open mics out in the boonies, it's a cafe-arthouse thing.”

“You think so?” Ernest had immediately repressed all memory of his performance upon leaving the stage, it was a good coping technique.

“We should start a YouWatch channel!” Carmensita exclaims, as if for the first time, though she's been bugging him for weeks. “We'll do covers to get the subs, then post our own stuff! I bet we could get sponsors!”

“Mister Sella,” Ernest says very seriously. “Are you aware that your daughter is selling out to the man?”

'Sita hits him with a broom, but he does decide to take the leap. Not like starting a channel takes a lot of upfront capital investment, exactly. They do pool money for one good mic, and figure they'll work their way up if it turns out to be worth it. They pick songs from their early teens to indulge their own and others' guilty pleasure fix, and they do weird remixes of things that aren't songs, and he convinces Carmensita to do tag videos. It's fun, and some people like it. Not a ton, but hey, maybe someday.

They only complain on days they're not recording, not wanting to wreck their voices. This time they're slumped on Ernest's bed, him whinging continuously after his first attempt at online dating ended in utter failure, therefore he should give up and never try again, right? Less money on dating, more money to eventually adopt dogs?

“Ernest, I want you to try something.” Carmensita reaches over and covers his eyes, her voice only a little exasperated. “Envision what you want in a relationship. Dad taught me this, I used it to figure out where I wanted to go for college.”

“Okay. Does it work, or is it some hokey bullshit?”

“Quit being rude and humour me, dammit.”

“Alright, alright,” he laughs, feeling her well-manicured thumb jab his cheek. He wets his lips while he thinks for a moment. “Uh, I wanna be with someone who's funny and nice, fun to be around.”

“Okay, can we get a little more depth than that?”

“Give me a second here, woman,” he snorts. “I want- someone who's chill, who likes some of the stuff I like- not everything, but we gotta have stuff to do together, you know?” Carmensita hums. “I want- I really want someone I can build a future with. I don't wanna just play around, y'know? I want someone responsible- heh, maybe not too responsible. But someone I can trust, someone I can see myself having kids with.”

“Woah, you want kids-plural now?”

“Well not a whole bunch, but two would be nice. They can play with each other- anyway,” Ernest gulps, strangely caught up in the thought process. “I want someone who when I look at her- I just want all the good stuff in the world for her. She's going places and she's talented- I want someone who I really get, who gets me back. When people talk about marrying their best friend, that's- that's what I want. Someone who- accepts me, and we can be ourselves around each other, always.”

They're quiet a moment, Carmensita's hand still on his face. She takes it away slowly and smiles softly. “So, you want what you have with me, but with kissing?”

Ernest blanks for a solid thirty seconds before raising his finger. “Okay, first of all, when did you get so smooth?”

Carmensita laughs, loud and cute, sweeping some loose curls off her forehead and looking at him with these eyes- he's never seen her look at him like that until now. Or maybe he was just that clueless. “Is that really all you want to ask me?”

Ernest swallows, loud enough to hear it, sitting up a little straighter. “Can I- kiss you?”

“I don't know, can you?”

He groans outright, dropping his head on her shoulder while she giggles. “One of these days, 'Sita, one of these days.”

She smells really nice this close, maybe it's her shampoo? It's damn good, whatever it is. Her hands end up on his shoulders, not pressing, just holding him. He lifts his head and god, that little moment of eye contact before they both lean forward-

First kisses are not usually perfect, but he's willing to call this one close enough. She's warm and soft beneath his lips. His arms slip around her waist and it's like she was made to fit against him. He outright sighs when they part, kissing her nose just to hear her laugh again.

“Are you-” He can't quite find his words right now, his mind cycling through all the new and so very nice stimuli his senses are taking in. Carmensita's always been beautiful to him but he never thought, never let himself- “Do you- are you sure you wanna do this? I can't- I really like you, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do the physical stuff. You deserve-”

She presses a finger to his lips and he silences himself immediately, distracted by the light of her eyes. “There's nothing I want that online shopping with discreet shipping can't provide. None of that 'you deserve better' crap. I want you, if you want me back, then we should keep kissing and see where it takes us.”

Ernest works his jaw for a few moments, then nods. “Yeah, I can get behind that train of thought.”

Carmensita's laugh as he pulls her in for more smooches is the sweetest sound he's ever heard.

They end up cuddling up and falling asleep together- hahaha an asexual sleeping with someone on the first date, hahaha, puns and stuff -a bonus of neither of them having morning shifts the next day and Carmensita not having anyone expecting her back at home. He wakes up before she does, spooned up behind her, all their clothes rumpled, the blankets cocooned around them. He kisses the nape of her neck and sighs. He feels content, for the first time in a while.

The softest of knocks precedes the door creaking open. “Hey, Ernest, do you want- /oh/.”

The door shuts quickly, rousing Carmensita and making Ernest groan. “So much for keeping quiet about it.”

“Were we going to?” She yawns, sitting up and stretching. “Also, I'm bringing my silk pillowcases or we're only sleeping at my place. How do you live like this?”

“I dunno, I'm a mess.” He laughs and sits up, a tentative hand on her back. “I just- I'm scared. We've been friends for so long, I don't want to risk it going badly.”

“But if we don't risk it going badly, we also don't risk it going well.” She clumsily boops his nose, smiling dopily at him. “Guess which outcome I have my money on?”

“Girl, what money?” He laughs when she jabs him in the stomach. He leans in for a kiss after a moment, realizing that they can do that now, and smooches her cheek gladly. “So, if the Dads know, that means we're officially an 'us.'”

“We are.” She grins and kisses his cheek back. “I like being an us, it's pretty great so far.”

“It is.” He grins back, feeling like he can't stop. Shit, it's really happening. Is he in love? Is that an okay word to use after literally one very unexpected day? Probably not out loud.

He walks her downstairs, and they whisper-laugh a few walk-of-shame jokes before she heads out in her poofy pink coat, leaving him alone with the giddy feeling in his gut. In the dining room, Dad and Damien are doing maybe the worst acting job he's ever seen. “Are you two gonna make a big deal out of this?”

“Make a big deal out of what?” Damien inquires with convincing innocence, frying pan and spatula in hand.

“Yes, is there something we should make a big deal out of?” Hugo smiles, legitimately doing the newspaper crossword like he's a goddamn cartoon character.

Ernest sighs and drops into his chair, accepting several pancakes from Damien. “We literally just started- dating, I guess. No wedding bells, no grandbabies, nothing crazy yet, so please relax.”

“You know we're not like that.”

“Certainly, I'm not my mother.” Damien chuckles, almost unconsciously rubbing Hugo's robe-covered arm while they eat. So gross, but also goals.

“But, out of curiosity,” Hugo teasingly elbows him. “Did you kiss her yet?”

The dads laugh while Ernest howls. He'd text his Pop for backup, but he will get the exact same shit in different wording. He pulls out his phone and texts Lucien instead.

EHV: Hey Carmensita and I are dating just FYI

LB: About gd time, you've been heart eyes at her for literal years

CS: What

CS: Lucien why would you not tell me this

CS: I COULD HAVE SAVED SO MUCH TIME >:(

EHV: Oh shit group chat again

LB: Let's rename these things plz

EHV: Sorry babe <3

CS: Np hon ;*

LB: And here I am, third wheeling it again

EHV: You are basically married stfu

LB: That does not make this better

CS: Ladies ladies, you're both pretty

EHV: Sita knows whats uppppp

LB: Finishing BNHA this weekend y/n?

CS: Y, obvs

EHV: Also Y, I'm off at 7 don't watch ahead

LB: Don't walk so slow and we won't

EHV: Eat a dick

CS: G2g, love you guys

EHV: Love ya too

LB: <3

LB: Also, straaaaaaaaaaight

EHV: Fuckin really dude

LB: Someone has to

LB: Tell Dad I'm coming for dinner tonight

EHV: Will do, bye weeb

LB: Cya loser

#sinunamor #dream daddy #dream daddy hc #ddadds #ernest hemingway vega #carmensita sella #ernestsita

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