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mid-nightowl · 6 months

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💖 & 🧠 for the fic writer ask game please? <3

hi hello!!! thank you for the ask!!! :) <3

💖 ahhhhh, tough question! i would say my fight scenes or writing action, whatever word you use to describe that type of writing lol. i once got told my fights were pretty realistic and fun to read, and i ran with it (absolutely inflated my ego ngl), i kind of pride myself on them though it also means they have to be perfect

🧠 oh man, i have a few that are just outlines but most usually have a few drabbles or scenes associated with them that i tinker with when bored. BUT i do have a spider-cat jaydick au that is only worldbuilding notes at this point (and im not actively working on), so please enjoy my notes on that :)

(stuffing it under a keep reading thingy bc its a lot, sorry!)

Spider-Cat Jaydick AU

Working Summary: After the death/retirement of Spider-Woman Barbara Gordon, Gotham hits a dark patch. But unfortunately or fortunately, another radioactive spider bites Jaye Todd-Wayne on a school field trip to Fox Corp/Wayne Tech. Knowing Crime Alley, Jaye’s home (despite being adopted by billionaire Bruce Wayne), is in trouble without a Spider guardian, Jaye decides to take it upon herself to be the next Spider.

It’s not without its…problems.

Barbara as Spider-Woman Main Cast

Barbara Gordon = Spider-Gwen/Spider-Woman aka Gwen Stacy (Earth-65)

Commissioner Jim Gordon = NYPD Chief George Stacy

Harvey Bullock = Captain Frank Castle

Renee Montoya = Detective Jean DeWolff

Dinah Drake Lance = Mary Jane Watson (of the Mary Janes Band)

Alysia Yeoh = Betty Brant (of the Mary Janes Band)

Kori Anders = Glory Grant (of the Mary Janes Band)

Ted Kord = Peter Parker (aka Lizard, Earth-65)

Luke Fox = Harry Osborn (close friend to Gwen & Peter, Earth-65)

Lucius Fox = Norman Osborn

Jaye Todd-Wayne as Spider-Woman II or Ghost Spider Main Cast

Jaye Todd-Wayne = Spider-Woman II or Ghost Spider (aka Miles Morales)

Talia al Ghul and Bruce Wayne = Rio and Jefferson (Davis) Morales

Damian al Ghul = Billie Morales (younger sibling to Miles)

Willis Todd = Prowler aka Aaron Davis (uncle to Miles)

Tim Drake = Ganke Lee

Stephanie Brown = Starling aka Tiana Toomes

Arthur Brown = Vulture aka Adrian Toomes

Dick Grayson = Black Cat aka Felicia Hardy

Selina Kyle = Black Fox (mentor to Felicia and Tamara)

Victor Stone = Boris Korpse

Donna Troy = Bruno Grainger

Roy Harper = Tamara Blake

Raven = Odessa Drake

Main Villains

Joker & Harley Quinn = Carnage and Venom

Cluemaster (Arthur Brown) = Vulture

Two-Face (Harvey Dent) = Green Goblin or Two-Faced Goblin

The Penguin (Oswald Cobblepot) = Kingpin

Poison Ivy (Pamela Isley) = Doc Ock

Selina Kyle = Black Fox

Bane = Rhino

Black Mask (Roman Sionis) = Mister Negative

Mr. Freeze (Victor Fries) = Electro or Scorpion

Clayface = Hydro-Man or Swarm

Scarecrow = Sandwoman (whose sand causes nightmares from Earth 2099)

Firefly = Shocker

Mad Hatter = Mysterio

Ted Kord = Lizard I (deceased)

Killer Croc = Lizard II

Deathstroke (Slade Wilson) = Kraven the Hunter

Grant Wilson = Grim Hunter (Kraven’s first son and Kraven the Hunter II)

Rose Wilson* = Ana Kravinoff (Kraven’s daughter)

Carmine Falcone/Falcone Crime Family = Hammerhead

Maroni Crime Family = Tombstone

Moxon’s Empire/Lew Moxon = Silvermane

*Originally had Rose Wilson as Deadpool but I think she would work better as Kraven's daughter

Other Cast: (could potential appear or be saved for later)

Jessica Drew (Spider-Woman) = Kate Kane

Cindy Moon (Silk) = Cassandra Cain

Matt Murdock (Daredevil) = Helena Bertinelli*

Madame Web (Cassandra Webb) = Ma Gunn

The Tinkerer (based on the game Spider Man) = Lonnie Machlin or Dana Harlowe

*Helena could either be Daredevil or Glory Brant (of the Mary Janes Band), whether you want to have her as a vigilante or just a civilian

Additional Notes:

Barbara’s main villains were Doc Ock, Vulture, Lizard, Shocker, and Mysterio. The only villains present during her tenure were: Doc Ock, Vulture, Lizard I, Mysterio, Sandwoman, Kingpin, Black Cat, Silvermane, Tombstone, Hammerhead, Electro, Swarm, Prowler, and Shocker.

>>Barbara knew Kraven the Hunter was active and a villain via Dick, but never fought him personally.

>>Barbara mainly fought her big three: Doc Ock, Shocker, and Lizard. She also handled a lot of mafia/gang related crimes, in conjunction with her father’s work.

>>Barbara’s toughest battles were with Lizard I (mainly emotional) and Doc Ock.

Jaye’s main villains are Green Goblin/Two Faced Goblin, Kingpin, Mister Negative, Venom & Carnage. The villains present during her tenure are: Doc Ock, Vulture, Lizard II, Mysterio, Sandwoman, Black Cat, Kingpin, Shocker, Electro, Rhino, Venom & Carnage, Kraven the Hunter, Grim Hunter & Ana Kravinoff, Prowler, Swarm, Mister Negative, Hammerhead, Tombstone, and Silvermane.

>>Jaye mainly fights her big four: Two-Faced Goblin, Kingpin, Mister Negative, and Venom & Carnage. Jaye also handles a lot of gang related activity but for different reasons than Barbara--whereas Barbara acted very much like a police detective, Jaye was trying to protect Crime Alley (aka Barbara worked with the police and Jaye does not).

>>Black Cat, Doc Ock, Lizard II, and Ana Kravinoff are technically “villains” but Jaye has good working relationships with them.

>>Jaye’s toughest battles are Venom & Carnage and Two-Faced Goblin (mainly emotional).

>>Jaye was adopted around 12-13, and grew up with Bruce and Talia (and later on, baby Damian), but also Uncle Harvey, Bruce’s best friend. Harvey, unfortunately, will be attacked and scarred by Tombstone (Maroni) and become the Two-Faced Goblin.

>>Unclear if Jaye knows Willis is Prowler.

>>Madame Web and Starling are newest additions to the hero community in Jaye’s time, and did not meet Barbara. Starling (Steph) knew of her because of her father and Madame knew her through her clairvoyance, but neither of them had ever met her face to face or interacted with one another.

And the lil drabble that started it all:

Out of all the leftover characters and remnants from Barbara’s time as Spidey, Black Cat is the only one she doesn’t mind. Granted, he’s still a pain in the ass. But, he also doesn’t try to kill her. Maim? Maybe, if she gets on his bad side. Use as a cat scratcher? More times than she can count, for no reason beyond “he was bored.” He’s never gone for the jugular though and that she can appreciate. And even she can admit, Barbara had good taste in men.

#ask game #ladytauria #fanfic ask game #thank you so much for the ask!!! <3 <3 #i went through like four different versions of teams and characters for this au before settling on this version #the og very first version had peter parker as barbara and mj as kori and green goblin as luke and lucius fox #there was another version where tim was harry osborn and green goblin jr; jaye was peter and barbara was spider-woman jessica drew #so many possibilities #and dont get me started on the teams #the champions were the closest to be settled with nova = kyle rayner; viv vision = miss martian; young cyclops = kon #i refuse to do the avengers team thou #that's too much work #i still think rose as deadpool would be hilariously perfect but who knows #artemis and bizzaro are going to be in this too just not quite sure as heroes or civilians yet #thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble about this au #i put way too much thought into it for having zero scenes of actual writing lmaooo

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stevethehairington · 5 months

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GOTTA say, i am not looking forward to this merge between the mcu and the xmen 😩

#AS IF we need it to get more complicated #AS IF we need to be adding MORE interconnected-you-have-to-watch-the-previous-insert-number-of-movies-here-before-tp-understand-ness #im sorry but i have never been a fan of the xmen and it made me roll my eyes SO HARD when they dipped their toes into this merger in...#whatever movie did that (i honestly cant remember lmfao — was it doctor strange maybe??)#idk but whatever it was it made me roll my eyes #and then THIS end credit scene with the furry blue dude and name dropping charles...#girl. no. we do not need it. the mcu does not need it.#that is not going to save the mcu #also i feel like regina george and stop trying to make fetch happen wrt the young avengers fjskdkdk #stop trying to make the young avengers happen!!!! youre not going to recapture the magic of the og avengers!!!! it is irreplacable!!#n e ways #the marvels spoilers #marvel

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purecommemasolitude · 1 year

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the titans really are the superhero team of all time

#teen titans #titans #young avengers also #there's just something different about teenage superhero teams man idk #dc #og

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scattered-winter · 2 years

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it's been too long since I was rotating Billy in my brain so new icon <3<3<3

#god i need to finish that young avengers fic i have in my wips #i fuckin love those kids #anyway billy kaplan is the og blorbo <3 blorbo shaped son boi #blorbo from my comics #winter speaks

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skyofdarkmatter42 · 5 months

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Ugh I knew they would do this

#i dont care anymore and i havent watched the marvels #but yea theyll do the young avengers with their most popular teen characters instead of the actual team #dont get me wrong i love kamala i just really wanted to see the og young avengers though do i? i dont care about the mcu anymore #actually my real problem is no way theyre gonna have eli or jonas and im like 90% sure they do billy without tommy

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just-dreaming-marvel · 5 months

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LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story Masterlist (Reader Insert Version)

MAIN MASTERLIST

MARVEL MASTERLIST

LEGACY was my first published fanfic on here. It was based off a dream I had and I finally had the courage to write it down. I wrote it as an original character based on me, not really knowing about reader inserts yet. A while ago, I went back to it and began editing it into a reader insert and I think it's time that I share it. The OG LEGACY will remain on my Tumblr where it belongs, so apologies for any confusion that may happen.

As is my style, this story will cover several movies and contain three endings.

I hope that people enjoy it; comments, likes, reblogs, and/or asks are always welcome.

“This will all sound cheesy, but I figure that if you’re reading this then you should already be prepared. This is the story of my family. Of our love, our losses, our sacrifices. Of how we fought to stay together, fought to survive. This is the story of Y/N Stark and the Avengers. This is my story.”

PROLOGUE 1 / PROLOGUE 2

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON

ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR / FIVE / SIX / SEVEN / EIGHT / NINE / TEN / MORE TO COME...

CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR

A failed mission in Lagos forces the Sokovia Accords upon the Avengers. Which side will Y/N fall?

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

Y/N friends the young hero, Peter Parker. But what happens with the two go after people that they probably shouldn’t?

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

CAPTAIN MARVEL

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

AVENGERS ENDGAME

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

CHOOSE AN ENDING

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

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romanoffsbish · 10 months

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Kate Bishop 4 . “I can’t believe that the world had infinite chances to find me a soulmate, and I lucked out and hit the absolute jackpot with you.”

Kate Bishop x Reader

A lil blurb ❤️

Kate simply couldn’t take her eyes off of you, even though her alarm that had gone off thirty minutes ago was an indicator for her to get up and start her day. Clint’s incessant texts went ignored as well. The young archer was busy.

It’d been months since she last got to hold you like this, to feel as your warm breaths fanned across her skin. To intimately cradle your body against her very own without the blanket of sleep keeping her from seeing you. This was a nice break from her more bleak reality.

——

Kate was missing you like crazy with the nonstop flow of missions with Clint and the skilled Widows, him and Natasha were ready to pass on their mantles. Yelena seemed ready, but neither OG Avenger would leave the other hanging, and Clint wasn’t done with Kate yet.

Kate understood, Clint had a family, and Wanda and Natasha were jonesing to start their own. But she also had you to think about. Just a year ago you two were college seniors, wildly in love; now you are an official business woman, and she’s an Avenger, with no time for romance.

It saddened her to ask you to have to accept this life, but she loved you too much to have broken it off, and you were incredibly patient.

“Kate?” You whispered her name in disbelief, “You’re still here?” The sound of your voice made the woman’s heart flutter with a mix of love and guilt. It’d been weeks since you’d been able to feel her arms around you, so she felt the way you instinctively nuzzled further into her, but it was also obvious to her that the only reason you’re up at 6am is her buzzing phone that was just out of her reach. “Yeah, I’m here. I think I’m just going to blow off Clint today.”

You untangled from her grasp, against her groans of protests to sit up and face her. Kate saw the worry on your face, and just as she went to cup your cheek you reached to touch her forehead with the back of your hand. The woman stifled her giggle as best she could.

“Baby, I’m not sick, I just think life requires a little balance, and I’ve weighed the scales to find that you’re not being given your fair share.”

“It’s okay Kit-Kat, I get it, you are a superhero.” You shrugged nonchalantly, but with your eyes locked with hers she could see the toll her absence had been having on you. “You are fighting the evil of the world, it would be selfish of me to expect you to be around that much.”

“You deserve an attentive partner,” she fiercely challenged and you smiled softly. “I have one.”

Kate frowned, “Y/N/N, I’m hardly ever here.”

“Yet I’m never lonely,” you teased, “Every morning I find a smoothie in the fridge with my name on it. When I get to work there’s almost always something waiting for me, whether that be a bouquet of flowers, or my go to take out order arriving around lunch time. You never miss our six o’clock dinners or movie nights.”

You watched her eyes gloss over. “I still don’t think it’s enough my love, you deserve more.”

You shook your head, and straddled her lap with a loving smile. “What more could I need Kit-Kat?” In a show of dramatics you threw your arms up to emphasize the question, as if the universe would answer, then you smiled as she looked at you with a pout that you promptly kissed away. “You,” you paused to peck her lips again, “Returning home to me safe and holding me close is all I’ll ever want or need.”

Kate tackled you into a hug, her body crushing yours as she placed kisses all over your neck. “I can’t believe that the world had infinite chances to find me a soulmate, and I lucked out and hit the absolute jackpot with you.”

“I’m far from a prize Kit-Kat,” you managed to giggle out, though her unrelenting attack of your upper body with kisses was making you a bit too giddy to remain aware. “You’re insane, you my dear, are the best prize of them all.”

“I love you with all of my heart Y/N.” You smiled and cupped her cheeks as she was hovering above you, her flexed arm muscles on display. As if it was no effort to remain upright. “I love you too, which is why I can’t keep you home.”

Kate grumbled, “Which is why I’m doing it.”

“What was on today’s agenda?” You pressed, and she groaned, “More strength training.” Kate rolled her eyes when she saw your smirk. “We could go together, I can be moral support.”

“You’re a pervert,” she groaned, but it was playful. She herself was looking forward to taking a nice, long shower with you today. This really just afforded her the opportunity. “But that’s what I love about you, you’re a freak.”

You snorted softly, “Glad to know that of all my wonderful attributes that’s what you cherish.”

“You keep me young,” she said with a shrug, and you laughed harder, “You’re literally 22.”

“I know, my back is starting to kill me,” she teased, then she placed a chaste kiss to your lips before disappearing into the closet to talk to the angry, elder archer about her faulty alarm while you got ready for a day full of adventure.

#kate bishop imagine #kate bishop x you #kate bishop x reader #kate x reader #gxg #kate bishop #kate bishop fluff #kate bishop blurb

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fandxmslxt69 · 6 months

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Every time Loki mentions Thor in this season, my heart literally shatters to a million pieces and then reattaches itself because look how much he clearly cares for his brother!! but there are always a few pieces missing because they never got to express that love- not this Loki. And that Thor doesn't feel like he did it not. And this Loki is just hurting so much for his brother. And he doesn't know how to deal with that so he is just putting Thor in every situation he can. and god oh god I just feel so much for them like why is Marvel doing this to me. Why mention Thor SO MUCH THIS SEASON each time with Loki sharing some form of personal detail and NOT GIVING ME THEIR HAPPY ENDING.

God because when this happens- this Loki does not know All The Lore. Because this is still 2012 Loki, and he's probably gonna run into Current Thor, and Current Thor is just looking like he saw a ghost because really- he is seeing a ghost! This is certainly not his brother- not the brother he knew and watched die so many times and now for real. This isn't the brother he grew with past his Avengers time. This isn't his Loki and yet it also is because they are still so so alike but so so different and Thor is so heartbroken knowing he will never truly have his brother back but he's so overjoyed because Loki's here and he's smiling and he's laughing and we're brothers again

but are they? Because there's like a million years worth of unsaid words and events that have happened that have changed them both completely and Thor lived through HIS events and OG Loki's event but this Loki hasn't! He only knows up to 2012 Battle of New York and whats happened in the TVA! and Thor doesn't know this TVA stuff and its one of the first time he has no idea how to connect himself to this aspect of Loki's life! Because they are brothers!! Wherever and whatever Thor does and goes through Loki will always be connected somehow, and wherever and whatever Loki does and goes through, Thor will be connected somehow! Because they're brothers and that's just how it's been but now it feels like there's eons between them and neither knows how to close this distance but at the same time it feels like no time has passed-

and yet there's still this burden that they both carry. Loki knows this isn't the Thor he left behind. And Thor knows this isn't the Loki he held in his arms on that cursed planet. And it's not said or mentioned but they both know and they both feel it through the conversation and the silence and yet there's those moments in between where it feels like they're young gods again without a worry or care in the world, sitting in the palace gardens talking without any burden on their backs and no horrors in their eyes and they can almost feel the Asgard sun and hear Frigga's laughter and almost smell the flowers of her beloved garden and the world is okay- they are okay and they're brothers and they're laughing together and that's what matters in those fleeting moments.

AND AND AND AND AND AND what if I go kill myself then what .

#loki laufeyson #thor odinson #loki s2 #loki series #loki season 2 #loki season two #loki odinson #loki and thor #mcu loki #marvel #thor #avengers

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laurajameskinney · 5 months

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the funniest part of gillen ya is when david talks shit about the other YA members' "terminal drama addictions". watch out for your glass house buddy i think some walls might be shattered

#gg og #david alleyne #young avengers #new x-men #it was so fucking funnyyyyy girl how many fights did you and your friends get to in school

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coralinnii · 1 year

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Hi Coral! I'm binging on the Villain/ess series and I'm on Idia's story. I've read the ask that big sis is the og fl. Do you mind sharing what the story would have been had it gone the original route (aside from the peeks from Idia's pt. 2)?

wow...I've made Idia so evil in this...like a true villain

Original route

After the mysterious incident with the feral magical beasts, OG!FL swore to figure out what happened in order to avenge her young siblings who perished in the battle. She realized that the Shroud family was experimenting with the bracelet devices that were given to them that fateful day and she and the other soldiers were simply test subjects to see if it was possible to affect and later control these beasts. Her siblings' lives were cut brutally short as a twisted test run on their devices. OG!FL needed proof of the Shrouds' experiments and teamed up with Idia and Ortho, who claimed to want to stop their family's evil experiments.

Unfortunately, Idia lied and was the lead inventor of the mind-controlling devices. He wanted to gain the OG!FL's trust and was sneakily using testing smaller devices to mind control her. Ultimately, OG!FL finds out and heartbroken and enraged, fought Idia and ultimately Ortho and exposed the Shroud family's misdeed by showing off Idia's mind-control devices. It's a bittersweet victory of revenge and betrayal

#coralinnii #coralinnii answers #villainess au

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fathervalley · 1 year

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VIOLENCE! MURDER! BLOODSHED! Who is the BEST MARVEL TEEN OF THE 2000s? [Masterpost]

[ID: a bracket with 54 contestants. It is in its sixth and final round. The pairings will be listed off below. end ID.]

Guys, just a quick behavioral note—please don’t be actually mean or rude about the characters involved, at least not in my notes? Jokes are fine but some of you guys are getting a little too mean!

Old rounds under the cut.

now SURGE to the polls!!!

FINALS!!!!

BLINDFOLD V WOLVERINE (Link)

(plain text: Finals!!!! Blindfold v Wolverine)

Round 5 of BLOODSHED!

Prodigy vs. Wolverine (Link)

Blindfold vs. Sister Grimm (Link)

Round 4 of VIOLENCE!!!!

Dust vs. Prodigy (Link)

Blindfold vs. Miss America (Link)

Wolverine vs. Hellion (Link)

Molly Hayes vs. Sister Grimm (Link)

Round 3 of MURDER!!!

Hawkeye vs. Dust (Link)

Wither vs. Prodigy (Link)

Bling! vs. Blindfold (Link)

Stinger vs. Ms. America (Link)

Wolverine vs. Glob (Link)

Hellion vs. Icarus (Link)

Surge vs. Molly Hayes (Link)

Mercury vs. Sister Grimm (Link)

Round 2 of MURDER!! (Closed)

Hawkeye vs. Wiccan (Link)

Speed vs. Dust (Link)

Indra vs. Wither (Link)

Prodigy vs. Loa (Link)

Bling! vs. Rockslide (Link)

Wind Dancer vs. Blindfold (Link)

Onyxx vs. Stinger (Link)

Wallflower vs. Miss America (Link)

Patriot vs. Wolverine (Link)

Glob vs. Esme Cuckoo (Link)

Hellion vs. Phoebe Cuckoo (Link)

Icarus vs. Sophie Cuckoo (Link)

Wolfcub vs. Surge (Link)

Molly Hayes vs. Anole (Link)

Mindee Cuckoo vs. Mercury (Link)

Karolina Dean vs. Nico Minoru (Link)

Round 1 of MURDER! (Closed)

Wiccan vs. Hulkling (Link)

Speed vs. Armor (Link)

Dust vs. Ernst (Link)

Alex Wilder vs. Wither (Link)

Graymalkin vs. Loa (Link)

Rockslide vs. Elixir (Link)

Tag vs. Wind Dancer (Link)

Blindfold vs. Xavin (Link)

Stinger vs. Martha Johansson (Link)

Wallflower vs. Quill (Link)

Ms. America vs. Chase Stein (Link)

Wolverine vs. Victor Mancha (Link)

Match vs. Glob (Link)

Gertrude Yorkes vs. Esme Cuckoo (Link)

Gentle vs. Phoebe Cuckoo (Link)

Trance vs. Sophie Cuckoo (Link)

Surge vs. Cipher (Link)

Molly Hayes vs. Noh-Varr (Link)

Vision vs. Anole (Link)

Quentin Quire vs. Mercury (Link)

Pixie vs. Karolina Dean (Link)

Nico Minoru vs. Celeste Cuckoo (Link)

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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 8 months

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“The Avengers Embark on a Brief Escape from Sanity” - a Loki x Reader crack!fic one shot

You, Loki, and the Avengers go to an escape room to pass an afternoon. You all fucking destroy the place, you chaotic sunsuvbishes.

PAIRINGS: Loki x Reader; Bucky x Steve; Author x Skywalker OG WARNINGS: the fuck if I know what my brain’s going to come up with, just know when to duck (brief erection talk and lots of Bucky ass-grabbing Steve) WORD COUNT: 2.4k

This is my 1k follower celebration, where you all dared me to write a fic while stoned, posting it un-edited. All I edited was spelling because my gods I’m not a total schmuck. For the record, at the beginning of this adventure I am about half-a-joint in, and fully intend to be two-in by the time we’re finished here today. They really should make some Marvel-named strains. A Loki OG would probably make me so horny. Like literally, his color is green so why don't we have Loki-Smoki? Anyway, here you go, my readers. Thanks for getting me to 1k! I love you….and I’m sorry. ^_^

“I don't understand,” said a highly-confused Thor as the quinjet touched down on the roof of the mall. “People put themselves in prison for fun here? How strange!”

“For once, I concur with my brother,” said a sullen Loki from the seat on your left. You smiled and slipped a hand over his. His skin always felt supple, cooler than a human’s, but still soft. “It makes no sense.”

“It’s a game!” said Steve, proud to finally be ‘in’ on something before another teammate. “To test our minds and ability to work on a team!”

Stark rolled his eyes and stood up first as the engines stopped. “Yeah, because The Avengers have no fucking idea how teams works…or how prisons work,” he eyed Nat, along with half of the team.

She pouted. “Fuck you.”

You and Loki quickly got up. “I think it’ll be fun,” you said, ever the optimist. “And if nothing else, think of all the attention this small, local business will attract if just one of us takes a picture with them!”

Loki smiled and kissed your forehead. “You’re always seeing the good in everything, even in the face of inevitable imprisonment!”

You rolled your eyes. “Drama queen.”

You may as well have sauntered into the mall in slow motion, you all looked so cool. Everyone recognized you as the heroes of Earth, of course, and you couldn’t get far before the wolves descended, desperate for interaction with their idols. Some of you relished in the attention. Tony was waving and handing out business cards. Thor and Steve were posing with the ladies for selfies while Bucky tried to grab Steve’s ass from behind. Meanwhile, Nat looked like she wanted to go home and punch someone. That left you and Loki in the middle, looking around over the heads of the gathering fans, looking for an exit.

“Are you sure this isn’t the escape room?” Loki asked.

“Over there!” you said, pointing to the left. A large, neon sign flashed “Escape-O-Rama!” from a regrettable distance away. But before you could wrangle the Avengers away from their adoring fans, two beautiful young women flanked Loki, ignoring you completely and shoving you off to the side.

Loki grimaced. “Ladies…I’m not sure you’re aware that you just shoved my--”

“--can we get a picture?” asked one, a fair-skinned lass with lush blonde hair. “Please, Mr. Loki? God, you’re hot!”

You frowned and rolled your eyes, regaining your balance as the second girl shoved her phone into your hand. “Take the picture?”

Without letting your boyfriend get a word in edgewise, the girls threw his hands over their shoulders, giggling like idiots. Loki looked at you, and raised an eyebrow the instant he saw how red your face was getting with anger. “No, I’m not indulging a pair of ingrates!”

They, again, ignored his protestations, leaving you to settle the matter.

“Jesus Christ, we’ll be late for our reservation,” you muttered, growling and chucking the camera at the one girl’s face, hitting her nose, sending her careening to the floor with a grunt of shock.

Loki looked pleasantly amused. You wasted no time in throwing the other girl off of him and hurling her body on top of her pal’s. “You seemed to forget two things, ladies,” you said, shaking a finger at them. “One, I’m an Avenger too, so I can do some cool shit myself. You should’ve wanted me in the picture too, you dirty trailer-park cunts! Two, Loki’s my man meat, so back off, you bald-ass hyenas!”

The girls were stunned, and the other mortals who were busy accosting the rest of the team fell silent, slowly backing away and deciding to resume their business, lest they feel your wrath next.

“Good, now can we go?” you asked sweetly, waiting until the two little bitches were looking at you before shoving your tongue down Loki’s throat for a solid twenty seconds of public access tonsil hockey. Loki loved showing off in public with you, the Kinkmeister.

Thor didn’t like it when you did that in front of him, however, and he quickly cleared his throat. “Let’s…just go imprison ourselves.”

“Thor, I believe the correct term is ‘go fuck ourselves’,” said Tony.

“It’s a ship prison?” asked a skeptical Loki as you were guided back to the escape room by a pimple-faced teenaged employee.

“It’s our newest room,” bragged the kid, his voice cracking worse than Steve’s on the first night he ever saw a stripper. “Escape from the Titanic! Very popular! Very difficult to solve!”

“So it’s a very large prison, a titanic prison,” added Thor.

“It’s named after a real ship,” said Bucky.

“Or the movie,” added Tony.

“You’ll have one hour to find and obtain the key that unlocks the last available lifeboat off the sinking Titanic. If you fail to find the key and leave the ship, you’ll all drown!” the kid recited, trying his best to sound interested.

“This jerk won’t be winning any Oscars,” muttered Tony.

The employee ignored Tony Snark.

“I’ll be available to contact via this telegraph machine,” said the kid, indicating the large contraption by the door. “You’ll have three clues. Just tap any pattern into the telegraph, it’ll buzz me, and I’ll give you a clue. You can also bug out of the room in an emergency by tapping SOS.”

Loki had to almost immediately slap Thor’s curious hand away from the telegraph.

The employee set the clock to exactly one hour and left the room. As soon as he locked the door, an off-key version of My Heart Will Go On began twinkling awkwardly throughout the room, making Nat cringe.

“This is what they did to me in Gitmo” she murmured. “Bastards.”

“So now what?” asked Loki, looking to you for guidance.

“Well the first clue could be anywhere, tucked in a crack in a wall or under a table…look for drawers that could be opened, clues that may be written down in a book or--”

“--here it is!”

Tony raised the key marked “Number One” above his head.

“Um, we didn’t even find the clue yet, asshole,” you grunted. “Slow your roll, ‘kay?”

Tony shrugged and tossed the key on the table. “The clue on the tag says something about poop.”

“The poop deck, usually toward the back of a ship,” recited Steve as Bucky tried to make a reach for Steve’s poop deck.

“Um, how ‘bout that sign?” Tony pointed with his thumb to the sign that literally read “POOP DECK HERE YOU NEED THE KEY” above his head in the doorway.

The clock read 58:26 as everyone piled through the first door…except for you and Loki. You grinned slyly as you closed the door behind the others, keeping the two of you in that first room.

“There’s only one mast I want to raise today,” you said seductively, making Loki purr with pleasure.

“I’d counter you with an equally-witty quip, but I am not on familiar terms with the lingo that mortals use for their ships.”

“Shut up and put your tongue in my face, Loki.”

He did, and it was fucking excellent.

“Um, you do know there are cameras in every room?” came a timid voice from over the loudspeaker.

“Good, it’s free porn for you!” you giggled. Loki put a gentle finger to your lips and ‘shhed’ you in a way that made you want to drop your pants.

“Dignity, dearest,” he said softly. “Let’s wait until we can desecrate Steve’s room again.”

You were about to agree before you were interrupted by the sound of disappointment amid Tony’s wisecracks.

“Got the second key!” he said.

“Oh, come ON!” moaned Steve. The clock was still barely at 55:00.

“We should probably stay with the others. We’re going to be finished before you can even get up all the way,” you said, chuckling.

“That is where you’re wrong, lovely,” he said, taking your hand and putting it on his crotch for just a silent, tantalizing moment.

Yeah, he was harder than the SAT in Latin. Sadly, you wood would have to wait.

As you and Loki caught up with the rest of the team in the second room, Tony was having a hard time getting the key to work. “It’s stuck!”

“It’ll fit, just keep at it,” said Steve. “Jam it in harder if you have to!”

“That’s what you said last night!” giggled Bucky.

“We don't have time for this,” Tony growled.

“We literally have all the time for this,” you replied.

“Stand back! I will take care of this!”

You turned to the far corner of the room, where Thor stood posed with Mjolnir.

“Jesus Christ, why did you bring that in here?!” shrieked Tony.

“I’ll save us!” he hollered proudly, charging the locked door, his hammer poised to strike.

“NO!”“BROTHER, STOP!”“OH MY GAH--!!!”“WHAT THE FUUU---”

You woke up fifteen seconds later, strewn about the rubble, the room itself miraculously still standing in spite of the completely-blown-out inside. Loki was closer to his brother, holding him down while Tony smacked him repeatedly over the head with a chunk of table.

You looked next to you, where Sam Wilson was standing casually. You jumped a little at his seemingly sudden appearance at your side.

“Whoa! Sam, where did you come from?”

Sam frowned and looked at you with moderate disappointment, much how he looked every day. He just meant it today.

“I’ve always been here. All day. I was in the room this whole time and everything.”

The team went awkwardly silent.

Sam looked over at Cap, sadness in his eyes. “Et tu, Steve?”

Biting his lip, Steve said nothing. Bucky put his big metal hand firmly on Steve’s buttcheek, getting another piece of that hot, sweet American pie.

“Man, fuck you all,” said Sam, turning around and walking away with his middle fingers raised.

Later, after being permanently banned from every escape room in the state of New York, the team paid the owner of the Risk E Rat’s Pizza at the other end of the mall to close the place so that they could dine in peace. Nat enjoyed the sounds of pouting kindergarteners as they were told to leave. It harmonized well with the sounds of sirens down the way.

“What? There’s a Ms. Pac Man machine at the barbershop down by the Apple store, you ungrateful fucks!” said the crabby old owner. Nat made a note to get his number later.

Most of you sat around a table eating cheap, stale-crust pizza. Meanwhile, Stark was off showing Bucky how to feel up the Justine the Teen Dream animatronic’s breasts, seeing if it would make him straight again (it wouldn’t).

“So,” said Steve, his futile attempts to masticate his “pizza” failing him, so he just swallowed the gummy dough and moved on. Kiddie pizza is nasty. “So, this is awkward.”

“How are we gonna spin this one, guys? Green Guy wasn’t even with us this time,” said Tony as he and Bucky returned, Bucky looking confused and disoriented as he sat down next to Steve again.

“Fury is going to be…ugh…”

“What is it, dearest?” asked Loki as your train of thought left the station.

You shrugged as your mind struggled. “I had a word in my head but my brain dropped it. Fury is going to be…uh….what a synonym for being really, really angry? Fury will be that.”

You all stared at one another in silence, none of you sure what to say next.

Another minute of quiet.

“Well, what do we do now?”

Loki shrugged and looked directly into the imaginary POV camera your brain is using to picture this story right now as you read these words. “It’s up to the author to finish the story,” he said with a grin.

FUCK.

“...so, don’t just leave us sitting here!” protested Nat. “You’re the one literally putting words in our mouths!”

I’M BLITZED, GUYS. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

“Just cut to us getting back to the Tower or something,” said Steve.

I’M NOT THAT CHEAP, STEVE.

“So, what now?” you asked.

WELL, HOW DO YOUR USUAL WRITERS END AN ADVENTURE?

“With a massive all out battle!” Thor jumped onto the table, raising his hammer high.

I’M NOT DOING THAT. MY THAI FOOD’S ALMOST HERE.

“So, again I ask…now what?” you repeated.

The author paused for a moment before typing out her final commands.

OKAY, THOR, GO BACK TO THE ESCAPE ROOM AND APOLOGIZE FOR BLOWING UP THE STORE. THAT WAS RUDE.

Thor dropped his head and pouted. “Okay.” He sauntered off into the mall, toward the sounds of the sirens.

NOW BUCKY, GET YOUR HAND OFF STEVE’S BUTT AND THE TWO OF YOU GO PRETEND TO BE HETEROSEXUAL FOR THE DISNEY-PLUS RELEASE OF THIS EPISODE. WE CAN’T BE SCARING OFF THE SWEET CHINESE GOVERNMENT DOLLARS, NOW.

Bucky whimpered as he took his hand back. Steve winked and kissed his forehead before stepping back and punching him square in the shoulder. “Vaginas, amirite?”

“Hell yeah, vaginas!”

They walked off into the sunset dude-bro punching each others’ shoulders the whole way.

NAT, I KINDA FORGOT WHAT TO DO WITH YOU. SORRY. ERRR…HERE’S FIFTY BUCKS.

A fifty appeared in Nat’s hand. “Cool. I could buy a gun with this!” She walked out.

HEY TONY, CAN YOU NOT BE SUCH A TWATWAFFLE NEXT TIME? I’M RUNNING OUT OF FIC IDEAS THAT INCLUDE YOUR MAIN CHARACTER TRAIT NOT BEING A QUIP MACHINE.

Tony shrugged as he began to make his exit. “Hey, that’s all the MCU’s writers think I am, anyway. I’ll be off doing science somewhere.”

As Tony walked away, everyone left could hear him singing “I’m just a quip machine, and I don't work for nobody but youuuu…”

SO, NOW IT’S JUST YOU TWO.

“Hey,” said Loki cautiously.

“...yep,” you added.

“So, what commands do you have for us?” Loki asked.

I DON’T KNOW…GO HAVE WILD HOT MONKEY SEX SOMEWHERE.

“Okay!” you said cheerily, grabbing Loki’s hand impatiently dragging him toward the exit while he looked at the author with alarmed confusion. “But why do we have to include a monkey--?”

As the pair of you flew out of sight, the author looked around the Word document, and saw that it probably wasn’t all that great…but it was still more coherent than Finnegan’s Wake, so that surely counted for something.

So she closed the laptop.

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