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#THE WAY SEAN WAS USING HIS WIN IN THE GAME TO ASK WHITE TO BE HIS BF & INSTEAD HE GOT THIS... STOPPPPPPP
piningbisexuals · 4 months ago
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skyeet-the-writer · a year ago
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The Love Among Us
Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy
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so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x. 
 corpse husband x female!reader
summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him. 
 word count: ~3.6k
warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)
EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)
EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!
next>
4 rounds before the incident
“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims. 
“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh. 
“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected. 
stinky was not the imposter
2 imposters remain
The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves. 
“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed. 
“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”
“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”
Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again. 
“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room. 
“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles. 
“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases. 
“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs. 
Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”
~
“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them. 
You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”
“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks. 
You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”
“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps. 
You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”
“Bye,” says Mark.
“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call. 
“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room. 
Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady. 
Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up. 
After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”
You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.” 
When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once. 
“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you. 
You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”
“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks. 
Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’” 
“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu. 
“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean. 
You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”
“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie. 
“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”
There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.
3 rounds before the incident
You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair. 
“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”
After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing. 
“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”
“Who died?” asks Lizzie. 
“Felix,” says Sean. 
You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”
“Where was the body?” Ken asks. 
“Lower engine,” you reply. 
“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation. 
This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it. 
“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says. 
“Sean, where were you?” 
“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers. 
You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”
“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”
“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie. 
“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer. 
When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”
After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there. 
Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself. 
“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ. 
“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”
“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”
“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?
“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks. 
You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.” 
The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected. 
stinky was an imposter 
1 imposter remains
“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected. 
You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.” 
You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat. 
“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.” 
There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”
You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks. 
God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”
“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”
“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”
“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken. 
After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks. 
“No I haven’t,” she says. 
“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”
Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out. 
jaiden was the imposter
0 imposters remain
You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host. 
~
1 round before the incident 
“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”
After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay. 
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine. 
When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported. 
“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head. 
After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax. 
You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.
You unmute yourself. 
“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile. 
“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”
You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”
“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in. 
“Yeah,” you nod. 
“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin. 
In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”
“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs. 
You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”
“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing. 
“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”
He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”
You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands. 
When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate. 
0 rounds before the incident
You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there. 
The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix. 
“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage. 
“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”
But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.” 
Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”
You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix. 
“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”
“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”
You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”
“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time. 
You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him. 
You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”
There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.
“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing. 
“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen. 
“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”
“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you. 
You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse. 
The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both. 
“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”
“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”
He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic. 
“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”
“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”
“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”
Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?
But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”
“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”
There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”
There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”
“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie. 
You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones
“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”
Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”
“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”
You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”
A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave. 
“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”
“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”
“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you. 
You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”
When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay. 
You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”
“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”
You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.
You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat. 
5K notes · View notes
thefanficmonster · a year ago
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An Impostor In Love
Sequel to ‘Love For The Faceless’ (’Body Reveal’)
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing (maybe)
Genre: Fluff
Summary: Rae can’t stay mad at her best friends forever. Them being absolutely adorable doesn’t help her ‘pissed off’ act either. Y/N’s outing Corpse like she’s a human lie detector. Corpse is gushing about her every second word that comes out of his mouth. And the rest of the lobby are getting one hell of a kick out of the Among Us romantic comedy - An Impostor In Love
Requested but, once again, not in a typical way. I honestly wasn’t expecting all the positive feedback I got for Love For The Faceless (Body Reveal). I was star-struck! You guys are so amazing I have no words to describe just how much I love you all! Thank you for everything! This story is for all of you 🥰🥰🥰
“Mr. and Mrs. ‘Totally not dating’ have entered the call!“ Sean announces when I hop into the Discord call to play Among Us with the usual gang. I hear Corpse’s laugh from down the hall, bringing a smile to my face.
We’ve gotten used to playing in this arrangement, a few rooms away from each other, ever since we moved in together - Corpse is in his recording room and I am in our shared bedroom. When one dies, they go in the other’s room to troll them. I’m usually the one dead, but that’s besides the point.
“Hi everyone!“ I say in my typical cheery tone before kicking it done a few notches, making it an octave deeper just to say: “Hi Rae.”
The whole lobby laughs, they all know what I’m trying to do here. Everyone’s aware this is the first time Rae is in the same call and lobby as Corpse and I after you-know-which incident. Sure, I’ve been poking sticks at her, waving a white flag and admitting I was wrong several times by now. Who knew my sweetheart best friend could act so cold? I know it’s a front. I know she’s fighting to stay mad. There’s a ton of pressure on her to finally forgive us, but she’s been holding up better than I would be if I were in her situation.
I honestly felt, and still feel, slightly guilty. I know best friends are supposed to tell each other everything. They are supposed to be the first ones to know whatever’s going on in each other’s lives. And I know I broke one of the main rules of friendships, but the decision wasn’t only mine to make. I’m sure she understands where I’m coming from, she’s just giving me and Corpse a hard time.
“Hello, Y/N.” She replies, her tone strictly formal.
“Progress, people! Progress!“ I say joyously, the smile turning into a grin 
“Don’t worry, babe. We’ll get her eventually.“ Corpse reassures me as he’s done for the past week or two. He knew I wasn’t as unbothered by Rae’s anger towards me as I tried to appear - a pro and simultaneously a con of living with someone: they pick up on everything about you. You become as familiar to them as the back of their hand.
“I know, I know.“ I giggle, “She’ll cave.“
“Yeah, good luck with that.“ Rae has dropped the formal tone, now sounding like a stubborn child which is something I’m way more familiar with. I’ve dealt with her tantrums and childish outbursts - I don’t know which number it is, but it’s somewhere in the rule book of friendships - and I at least the approximate meaning behind it. 
Ken puts an end to our friendly, stick-poking, sorta one-sided banter, ushering us to start the game. We all oblige, muting our mics and getting our heads in the game as though we’re about to enter an actual warzone with upmost stealth.
To my dismay, the screen flashes ‘Crewmate’. I head out of cafeteria to do my task in Weapons, staying weary of anyone within my proximity. Once I’m done, I head on down to Shields and complete my task there as well. I cringe when I’m done, knowing my last three tasks are in Electrical. Like, the fuck kind of luck do I have?
I make my way through the halls, running into Sykkuno and we circle around each other a few times to show we’re safe before we each continue our own way. I enter Electrical and.....oh Felix is dead. And oh lookie who’s right there...
I report the body before the impostor can and we all unmute our mics.
“Found him in Electrical.“ I say nonchalantly, “Didn’t see anyone in there though.“ 
“Anyone sus?“ Sean asks
We say our ‘no’s and ‘I don’t know’s and skip the vote. I’m smirking to myself as I head back down to Electrical. Walking in, I see the same person as before - Rae. I stop dead in my tracks and we just stare at each other for a few seconds before she comes towards me, circling me twice, bumping visors with me and venting out of the room.
“You’re welcome.“ I mumble, smiling widely.
I finish my tasks and leave Electrical just as Corpse enters our bedroom, giving me this tired-parent look like he’s half disappointed and half amused. “You just threw the game, didn’t you? Don’t lie.” He raises his eyebrows, fully adopting his parent role.
I giggle, shaking my head, sending him the briefest of glances before my eyes fixate on the screen in utter shock - Sean just killed me. Oh, for fuck’s sake...
“I was gonna come clean eventually, but I guess they won’t hear it from me now.“ I shrug, lifting my laptop and setting it aside so Corpse can join me on the bed. I snuggle up to him immediately, drawn to him as though he’s a human magnet.
“Who was it?“ He asks me, running his hands through my hair in a soothing manner.
I frown, pulling away from his chest to look him in the eyes, “Wait, how did you know I threw the game if you don’t know who I threw it for?”
He smirks, shrugging, “I didn’t know. You were smiling downright evilly when I came in so I just assumed.” He boops my nose. “And you ratted yourself out.”
I narrow my eyes at him, blowing some air out my nose - a gesture that has become my only way of showing anger towards him. I literally can’t even voice when I’m upset with him cause the grudge lasts like .5 seconds. I let him get away with more than he should.
Seeing as how I can’t argue to his statement, I lean back into his chest and pull out my phone to pass the time while I pretend to give him the silent treatment. Among my notifications is one for Rae’s stream. I smile and tap it, being taken to her YouTube channel and her live stream.
Just when the stream loads, Rae finds my dead body in Storage.
“Oh, nooooooo! Y/N!“ She wines as she goes over to it, “Sean must’ve killed her.” She reports the body and unmutes herself in game, “The body’s in Storage. I was on my way to call an emergency meeting cause I saw Sean vent in Security.”
“WHAT?!“ Sean exclaims in shock, “I didn’t! Rae’s lying. I swear I didn’t! I wasn’t even in Security!“
“Sean has been following me around this whole time. Just saying.“ Ken joins the discussion, throwing even more suspicion on Sean.
“We gotta vote someone.“ Charlie says, “Might as well be the most sus person at the moment.“
The voting results show all the little astronaut icons on Sean except his which is on Rae. Sean gets launched into space and the game continues. Having muted her mic in-game, Rae speaks up: “Y/N has been avenged. No one kills my best friend.”
I’m staring at my phone screen, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, a huge smile on my face. I take a glance at Corpse out of the corner of my eye and see he’s just as pleasantly surprised as I am.
“For those of you asking if I’m still mad at her and Corpse, the answer’s no. Actually, I think I was never mad. I was just in shock and a little hurt that I wasn’t made aware sooner.“ Rae says as she keeps wandering around the map, “Then I realized not talking to my best friend hurt more than the betrayal, you know. The only reason I still pretend is because it’s really funny to see her trying to soften me up.“ She laughs, “But yeah. I don’t know what I’d do without her or Corpse in my life. I love them both and love them even more together. My best friends are dating, I still can’t wrap my brain around that! They are sooo cute, you guys! I wish they posted more content of them together. I’m literally simping over their relationship! But shh, don’t tell em I said that.”
I laugh, overjoyed by what I just heard. I knew she couldn’t still be mad at us. I know she has every right to be, but she’s too sweet to actually hold a grudge against anyone ever.
I suddenly want nothing more than to give her an enormous hug and hold onto her for as long as she’d let me. I just now realize how lonely it feels to have never hugged your best friend because you haven’t hung out together in person. The only reason Rae now knows what I look like is because I sent her a full body picture of myself as one of my sad attempts to get her to start talking to us again. We have never met in person, and that thought kills me. It makes me impatient for this pandemic to end even more than before. 
“Told you there was nothing to worry about.“ Corpse’s arms tighten their hold on my body, pulling me even closer which I didn’t know was possible. The most fulfilling and endearing feeling - being in the arms of a loved one. Being held so close and so tightly that you feel like you’re untouchable. Like you two can’t be hurt by anything in the world as long as you have each other.
“Yeah, you were right.“ I sigh in content, putting my phone down and covering his hands with mine, our rings clinking quietly when they touch.
“As usual...“ he whispers theatrically with his lips against my hair.
I playfully roll my eyes, catching glimpse of the screen showing Rae’s demise. 
“Oh no, they caught her.“ I say, a bit disappointed she didn’t win and more than a bit responsible for her defeat.
I somehow manage to convince myself to get untangled from Corpse’s embrace and join the new round. I hear him groan as I settle my computer in my lap, unmuting my mic.
“See ya, kitten.“ Corpse kisses my temple, standing up.
“Oh my God, you two are too cute.“ Poki says sweetly, having heard what Corpse said to me.
“SIMP!“ Sean and Felix shout in unison causing the whole lobby to laugh. Corpse is as red as Rae’s avatar as he exists our room, running down the hallway.
“Ok, ok, ok. Hold on. I have to address this. I really hadn’t stepped foot in Security, let alone vented in there. Rae why were you lying?“ Sean’s voice cuts through the teasing directed towards Corpse and I.
“While we’re on that topic...“ Felix speaks up as well, making me break out in a nervous sweat, “Y/N, you literally saw Rae kill me, but you said you didn’t see anyone.“ He laughs, “Not gonna lie, I was a bit pissed.“
The call falls silent for about five seconds until Rae and I speak simultaneously.
“I was avenging Y/N.“
“I was helping Rae.“
Silence follows our statements, not for long though, as our friends break out in amused laughter.
“Fuck’s sake, you two make a good team.“ Sean says through genuine laughter which Rae and I soon join him in.
Felix and Sean and the rest of the lobby forgive us for throwing the game from both the crewmate and impostor’s side and we move onto another round. This time I have only one task in Electrical which I leave for last as always. I don’t feel like dying right from the get-go. I start by doing the card swipe in Admin and then the fuel task in Storage. As I make my way to Upper Engine, Corpse leaves Electrical, falling in step with me. I immediately get nervous, but still make my way to where I’m supposed to go, hoping he’d go his own way eventually. 
I stay wary of my boyfriend as I do my task, praying he won’t take my head off. When the task is finished, I find I’m trapped in the room with the doors shut. And Corpse right there. With every right and opportunity to kill me and vent. No one would know. No one saw us. 
That nervous sweat is back. 
I’m counting my last seconds of being alive.
And it happens...
A body is reported
“Oh than you so so so much! Corpse was gonna kill me in Upper Engine!“ I don’t let the person who reported the body speak, thanking them for my survival. “I was sure I was a goner.“
“Babe, come on now. You know I wouldn’t kill you even if I was an impostor. I love you too much.“ Corpse hurries to defend himself, “I’m following you around to keep you safe.“
I can tell he’s capping, but I have no concrete proof. He knows I’m onto him. His best bet is having me killed by the other impostor. He might have been capping the majority of his defense, but I know he won’t kill me.
“I’ll vote for myself because of that one.“ I mumble
The vote is skipped except the one vote I placed on myself and the round continues. I follow Corpse around the whole time, making sure he’s completing tasks - not that I can be 100% certain he’s actually completing them.
All is well until we walk into Admin and find Felix there, uploading data. Corpse, dead-ass, goes up to him and kills him, reporting the body right afterwards.
“IT’S CORPSE!“ I don’t give him a chance to start his brainwashing of the rest of the players. “Felix, this is my redemption for leaving your death unavenged last round.“
“Yeah, it’s me.“ Corpse laughs, that adorable laugh of his melting me despite the need to stay strong and carry out my argument, “Just vote me out so I can go troll Y/N.“
“Sounds like a plan to me.“ Ken says, the remainder of the crewmates, and the impostor probably, agreeing with him.
The votes are put in, all on Corpse obviously, and he is sent off into space. Not even five seconds later I hear his footsteps approaching. 
I look up when he pops his head in the room and says, “I have come to annoy you to death with my love for you.”
I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. The things this man does to me are insane. It’s insane that I let him. 
It’s amazing, really. We’re amazing.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I pat the spot on the bed next to me, “I’ll allow it. But only cause I love you too.”
@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis
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thesiriusmoon · 9 months ago
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My Aaron Hotchner headcanons!
+ feel free to comment/reblog with your own!
Slight tw for mentions of abuse
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He’s left handed
He’s always wanted kids, and had a list of baby names for if it ever happened
He has over 100 ties
He’s a feminist
He’s never been afraid of asserting authority over police officers or other agents when they disrespect a member of his team for their gender, race, sexuality, or ASN
He thoroughly enjoys Spongebob Squarepants
There are 4 years between him and Sean
He was put into the foster home of William and Maria Hotchner along with Sean and finally separated from his abusive parents, he was 10
The second he met William he latched onto him and swore to never let go. William is his top role model above everyone in the world
William gave him the nickname “Bean/beanie” because when they first met Aaron was wearing a beanie hat
Maria taught him how to knit and crotchet as a way to let stress out and keep his mind busy for hours
He still knits/crotchets to this day and that means Jack has a closest full of different scarfs, hats, gloves, socks, cardigans etc.
When he was younger he loved playing pretend to escape his reality
He doesn’t label his sexuality because he doesn’t care about gender
His childhood toy was a white bear with a missing leg who he keeps in his closet for memories sake as it reminds him of his parents
He always knew he wanted to work in law enforcement to do justice to those like his biological parents, and took inspiration from William seeing as he’s a lawyer
He’s a Taylor Swift fan
He struggles to use a photo copier and normally asks Penelope to do it for him so he doesn’t break it
In his office has lots of pictures of his parents and Sean, and Haley and Jack to remind him why he does what he does
He’s a very good bass guitar player
More under the cut!
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He prefers winter over summer because he likes to build snowmen with Jack, drink hot chocolate, and watch Christmas movies even after December time
He’s an avid fan of Broadway and theatre shows but keeps it a secret that only Jessica, Haley, and Penelope knew
He owns marvel themed boxers that Spencer bought him for a laugh
He loves to read mystery novels and use his profiling in attempt to identify who the murderer is
He’s great at preparing Christmas dinner and never let Haley do a thing and instead relax with Jack
He knows the trick on how to always win the bigger end of the Christmas cracker but always let Jack win, and would tell him how he’s so much stronger than him
He once bought Jack a toy car he could actually drive in and he put a hole in the wall, so it was strictly only allowed to be driven outside.
Jack put a hole in the fence
So he had two thing to fix
He brings Jack a souvenir back from wherever he’s been on a case such as key rings, snow globes, or a T-shirt
After overwhelming cases he cuddles with Jack which makes him feel better
The only true love he’s ever felt romantically has been for Haley. He just really liked Beth
He loves hosting parties and get togethers for Jack and his friends where he orders them food and let’s them play videos games until late
He often gets invited to Rossi’s where the two of them have bake offs, or Rossi is teaching him how to make a new meal, or just for a drink
He cares deeply for his team and knows what sets them off and how to calm them down and make them comfortable if they become stressed, upset, or have a panic attack or when Reid has a meltdown
He has a bag of sensory toys for Spencer in his office in case Spencer loses his or forgets to bring his on the plane
His office is also an open safe place for Spencer to go when he’s overwhelmed, and if he needs time Hotch will turn off the lights and use his desk lamp to do his work while Spencer does his thing
He subtly leaves little gifts on the teams desks to cheer them up after a hard case or if they’re just having a hard time in general, post for this hc
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He worries a lot that the team don’t like him because of his *strict* look, but he’s only like that because he fears making mistakes and won’t relax until he knows everything has gone right
He felt very touched and relieved when Penelope bought him a pink thank you card along with little marshmallows and chocolate ‘just because’
The real reason being that Penelope can spot from miles away when someone is worrying and/or sad and wanted him to know she appreciated and cared for him
His first day as unit chief he didn’t sleep because he was so nervous
His favourite colour is light blue
He’s quick on the defence because he won’t ever let someone tear his self worth down or anyone else’s in the BAU, such as when Strauss questioned his teams ability
His mother once allowed him to dye a streak of his hair pink when he was in high school
He was a bit of a popular guy in school and the soccer captain who fell in love with the nerdy girl who played the violin. He was a super chilled guy who bought his girlfriend flowers and let her braid flowers in his hair.
He was the type of guy who would laugh loudly and help people who were stuck on their work because he knew all the answers, he never made fun of anyone. In group projects he always made sure the quiet kids were included and heard.
He and Haley only got together in their very last year, before that Hotch had flirted with and liked only a handful of guys and girls, Haley was the first person he ever wanted to date
He’s such a geek. He loves Star Wars, marvel, and lord of the rings with great passion and will talk for hours about them if you let him
He wanted to be Indiana Jones when he was younger and always dressed up as him for Halloween
Derek once said “calm your sweet cheeks” to a stressed out Hotch, and Hotch couldn’t talk to him for a week
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He was stung by a wasp once and ever since he’s been scared of them
Him and Sean loved racing each other in their garden from one end to the other, Aaron always won
He doesn’t like the texture of strawberries, but he’ll eat them on cheesecake
Despite not liking actual strawberries, his favourite ice cream flavour is strawberry as long as there isn’t actual strawberry in it
He’s an ABBA fan and has their records. He told everyone they were Haley’s and she just went along with it because she too loved them
He likes cats and dogs equally. Dogs because they move around more and like going on walks, are great comforters, and their ears are cute. Cats because they’re cute when they sleep, they always find themselves in silly places like in cardboard boxes or the high shelf that has nothing around it, and how excited they get when you dangle a piece of string over their head
He had a border collie dog when he was younger that supported both him with panic attacks and anxiety, his name was Dennis and he wore a red collar. When Dennis passed away he kept his collar and still has it because he helped him through a lot.
He also had goldfish named Mary, Bennie, and Travis.
He prefers to write things out in a diary such as dates of meetings, birthdays, or just notes on paper rather than using a phone
He’s not the greatest dancer, Haley took the lead at their wedding
He has a secret tattoo of a Sparrow with the letter J beside it for Jack on his left shoulder blade
When he was younger he had platinum blond hair, but once he got older it darkened. This made him look a lot like Jack.
He has a photo album for Jack that has pictures of him and Haley as teenagers, on dates, random Sunday mornings, Haley’s pregnancy, and of course many pictures of them both with Jack
His right ear used to be pierced but after joining law enforcement he stopped wearing it to appear professional and the hole closed up, Derek always tells him to get it pierced again
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He wears expensive colognes that smell like dark evenings, and have a irresistible musk that leaves people flattered without him even doing anything
Had a crush on Derek for a while but it faded, he just thought he was attractive (but then as a couples so cute)
He has a drawing done by Jack of him, Jack, and Haley riding a dinosaurs in his wallet at all times, as well as a regular picture of Jack
He loves to spoil Jack
He does Jack’s hair in the morning
He has a stash of treats in his office that no one knows about
He’s always been a curious child, so when he found a black and white cat looking thing he couldn’t help but check it out. Which is how he ended up getting sprayed by a skunk
He truly believes in aliens and will tell you every single reason why if you want him to
He’s actually pretty good at eating spicy food
He won’t eat anything minty because: “it’s like I’m eating toothpaste”
He loves museums and takes Jack to teach him about history
The BAU call Jack “Little Hotch”
He rubs circles on his index finger with his thumb when he’s thinking or nervous
He’s fluent in American Sign Language and has been since he was a teenager
He has a skin care routine
He has the fear of having someone he loves hurt, stemming from him protecting Sean from their bio parents
He always made sure that Sean was never hurt, he took it all himself
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Himself, William, and Dennis would sit at their patio window together under a big blanket when storms occurred, which helped Aaron’s fear of them.
He loved teaching Dennis tricks and taking him on walks/jogs/runs
Every Saturday morning Maria would make her sons pancakes for breakfast, and Aaron does the same for Jack now
Maria would read bedtime stories to both Aaron and Sean to help sooth their minds before bed
Him and Sean also liked to play with Maria’s makeup, so she bought them face painting sets and kids makeup so they could dress up without ruining her things
Every Easter holiday, Aaron and Sean would challenge each other on who could find the most chocolate eggs hidden around their house by their parents
William built Aaron and Sean a treehouse which they called “The Hotch”
Him and Sean sat in the treehouse reading comic books or play neighbourhood watch and assume what everyone who passed by was doing
Growing up in his abusive home he wished every night that somebody would pick him up and run away with him
In his house with his parents he would get a hug goodnight and he’d fall asleep wishing no one would ever take what he had away.
He was adopted age 13 by William and Maria because they wanted him to be sure that he wanted to stay with them, and of course he did! I also read that the child can consent adoption after living with their carers for at least 2 years.
He loved going to baseball games with his dad and Sean and has hats as memories
William and Maria had given Aaron his first taste of sugar, and he ate so much he ended up passing out after running around the house
He had puppets that he used to talk to when he had a problem, and he also used them to put shows on for Sean and Dennis
For a short while Aaron was a bit afraid of Dennis because he thought he’d bite him, but started to ease up the first time he had an anxiety attack and Dennis ran straight to his side.
Dennis always slept on the floor beside Aaron’s bed, or sometimes on the bed. Sometimes during the night is aaron had a nightmare, Dennis would wake up and quietly join him, calming him down while he still slept.
Regularly calls his parents and has them also talk to Jack if he’s awake
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toloveawarlord · a year ago
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Ch. 6
Characters: Edgar Bright, Iris Adley, Sean
Pairing: Edgar x Iris
Tagging: @plumpblueberry​
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“You can’t blame them for being curious. No one knows what Sir Edgar is having you do as his second,” Sean said, lounging back on the perfectly made bed. He and all the others that were under the Jack of Hearts were hovering around me, asking an infinite amount of questions about the allusive and mysterious Edgar Bright…ever since he appointed me as his second.
I buttoned up my uniform shirt with visible annoyance. “I’m basically a glorified secretary, organizing documents, keeping notes about important dates and meetings, and pretending to be him when penning letters that he finds too boring while he sits on the sofa sipping tea.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t work. Soldiers came and went all day long with reports and documents. When he wasn’t in his quarters, he was in meetings with Jonah and Lancelot or officials in Central Quarter, on top of training his own troop of soldiers with a warm smile and steel fist. And yet, when we were alone, he turned into a candy gobbling child that enjoyed causing me a headache.
“Aren’t you tired? You don’t return from your duties until the early morning hours and then turn around and be up at first call at 7 like the rest of us.” He was just as intrigued by my new position as the others, but for more reasons. Every day he asked if we’d spoken about my predicament and the answer remained a stern no.
“Tired of his ridiculously idiot game? Yes.”
“Aw, that’s no way to speak about your adoring superior.”
The only slightly peaceful part of my day came crashing down at the presence of the Jack of Hearts. He’d let himself into the room without any warning, apparently a recurring trait of his. I can’t exactly complain, outwardly at least.
I rested against the bed to slip on my boots, tugging the laces extra tight while imaging the thin string to be around his neck. The whispers from the hallway not so quiet, nearly bringing a large commotion to the barrack hallway. “I’ll assume you’re here for business, sir.”
“Sean, you will be in Central Quarter today.” Edgar gave the order with a hint of edge to his voice. He received a salute and Sean scuttled off to leave us. One quick glance over his shoulder and the rest of the soldiers scattered before those mischievous jade irises were turned on me. “You will be accompanying to patrol the forest. Won’t that be fun, Iris?”
“Are you going to insist on calling me that when we’re alone?”
“It is your name. Besides, the expressions you make are worth any risk.”
I swiped my hat from the rack, settling it on my blonde locks, adjusting it with stiff movements. I made a silent vow to work on how I outwardly reacted to his taunts, if only to irritate him a fraction of how he irritated him.
Outside of his personal unit, the soldiers continued to treat me like an outsider. They glared when they thought none of the ranking officers were watching. They whispered in ear shot of me, insisting on being petty about my sudden rise in position. Only the ones within Edgar’s unit had begun to accept me, at least enough to not avoid me during meals and free time.
The leaves crunched beneath his boots, the Jack of Hearts strolling with a spring his step. His good mood almost contagious. It was strange, simultaneously keeping up my guard while also lowering it at times around him. He hadn’t broken his word and exposed my secret. “Iris, lost in thought, are we? I do hope it’s me on your mind.” 
Jade irises mischievously reflecting my own clear, blue ones. Edgar’s face mere inches.
I took a step back only to hit a tree. The pain dull but grounded me back in reality.
Quick to close the distance, like a wild cat slinking up to its cornered prey, Edgar’s grin grew wider. “You make a pretty boy, but I prefer the real Iris.” Gloved fingers expertly removing the earring and pocketing it in seconds. “I’ll hold onto this until it’s time to return.”
Without the magic, nothing hid the fact that I was a woman. It would be unlikely for the army to send multiple soldiers on this patrol, but not unheard of. And yet, winning an argument with a rock was more attainable than reasoning with the gentle demon. 
The forest was peaceful. Although not many ventured in due to the rumors surrounding it, bandits tended to gather on occasion. The town was abuzz with talk of some unsavory types moving between Central Quarter and the Forbidden Forest. Edgar had been tasked with uncovering and eliminating them.
“I did some digging, but there’s no record of where your brother disappeared to. Not even your parents have any inkling. I suspect that you have some idea.” He broke the silence as he adjusted his gait to fall in step with me. 
“I don’t. He never told me where he was going. Only that the girl he’d fallen obsessively in love with was the reason he wouldn’t take his position in the army.” The night he’d left still seared freshly in my mind. It made little sense. He had been handed the fourth highest rank in the Red Army and he abandoned it for a woman.
Edgar hummed in response, gaze lifting to the treetops above us. “Peculiar, but I hear that love makes one do crazy things.”
“He’s an absolute fool. Love is an abstract idea that is fleeting. He barely knew her, and yet he threw away his whole life, making a traitor of himself, of our family. For what?” He’d said that he might be gone for a while, years. At that time, it would be much too late. Our family would be ostracized, the position given by birthright erased and passed on to some distant blood relative.
“You’ve never been in love, have you, Iris?”
I gave him a disgusted glare before replying, “No. I’ll wager you haven’t either.”
He snickered from behind his palm, not making any attempts to avoid my slap to his arm. “You’re right. I’ve little time for dalliances with women. I have been approached, but taking a wife is not of importance to me.” For a second, the facade slipped, and I saw the flash of melancholy cross his features. Then it was gone, replaced with that empty smile. “I imagine you’ve had plenty of men throwing themselves at you.”
“You mean at my father.” I shivered in absolute revulsion. None of them had approached me directly. Whispers of how I could be harsh and hard to please were always circling me like rampant sharks. Negotiations went through my father, and I never accepted a single one. “I have no desire to be someone’s wife.”
“You’d rather be a solider?”
There was no judgement or ridicule in his question, as it had been with all the men previous in my life. Any time I trained with a sword or learned hand to hand combat, they all had a similar tone. It’s not for a woman. I would prove them all wrong. “Yes. Only the Red Army has rules against women joining. It seems obvious that after 500 years, perhaps a different perspective might be advantageous.”
“War is not made for the weak.”
“Weak and female are not synonymous.”
Jade eyes crinkled as he smiled at me. “Oh, I’m well aware of your strengths, Iris. And I, for one, have no qualms with you being in the army. It’s not simply a matter of changing laws.”
The politics. It’s always about the politics among the Red elites.
The scent of smoke drifted through the trees, silencing our discussion. The rumors were proving to be true. We both became silent, like ghosts leaving no trace of their existence as we neared the campsite. Only one man guarded the camp.
“We’ll wait until nightfall, and all of them are to be captured.” His whisper carried the weight of his position. The teasing superior vanished without a trace, replaced with the Jack of Hearts giving his soldier an unbreakable order. His gaze only flickered to me long enough to see my nod before returning to our targets.
They came and went, five of them in total. As the sun began to slide beyond the horizon. Once the light faded, the group all gathered around the fire, clinking dirty glasses of stolen booze, and rifling through their treasures. Edgar gave a signal, directing me to circle to the other side.
Blending in with the darkness was easy. The moon cast slivers of silver light between the leaves rustling in the wind. I crouched by a thick bush, waiting patiently for our moment to attack. I hadn’t, however, expected him to announce himself.
“Good evening, gentlemen.” Edgar startled the whole lot of them, hand lightly gripping the hilt of his sword. The fire crackled as one choked on his drink at the sudden appearance of the officer. “You’ve caused quite the ruckus in town. It’s time to answer for your crimes.”
Swords and knives were drawn, all eyes focused solely on the single man in the crisp white uniform. Their bravery coupled with cowardice as they collectively moved the opposite direction with slow steps, save for their so-called leader. He alone faced the gentle demon with a scowl.
He gave a howl and lunged at Edgar, only to grab air and lose his breath as his torso connected with the Jack of Heart’s knee. 
Tension rose through the campsite. Some were frozen in their spot, watching the imminent defeat of their boss. But one... there’s always one, who decides to save themselves and run.
Unlucky for him.
The wheeze that passed his lips when I wrenched my elbow back into his throat divided the attention. He collapsed to the dirt, body curling up as he clutched his neck and struggled to catch his breath. “How pathetic,” I said, drawing my own sword from its sheath.
There’s two of them?
Who cares! Just take them out and let’s get out of here!
They were barely worth any effort. Their form sloppy and no coordination between them. Although it hadn’t been too long since being under Edgar’s guidance, I had picked up on some quirks of his. In the beginning, the soldiers in the unit avoided me, leaving Edgar to spar with me most of the time. I’d learned his movements quite well.
“I’m impressed. You’ve done so well,” Edgar praised with a pat on my shoulder. He chuckled as I brushed it off. 
I finished the knot on the last rope, creating a line of prisoners so they couldn’t try to escape. “I didn’t ask for your evaluation.”
“But that’s my job. Your hand to hand could use a little work. I’d be happy to teach you.” His eager grin disappeared at the voice of the leader of the bandits. I hadn’t witnessed the demon side of him until now.
Since when did the Red Army employ women?
I turned away, remembering that he still had my earring and no magic had shielded my features. Edgar slipped it into my palm without a word before slinking up to the angered prisoner.
“He is quite pretty for a boy, I’ll admit. You’d do well to keep your mouth shut.” The malice laced in his words paired perfectly with the dagger pressed a little too hard against his prey’s throat. His threat received with a silent nod.
I trailed behind, lost deeply in thought. It hadn’t been necessary. There was no reason for him to say anything. No one would have believed the word of a criminal over the Jack. There’s no logical reasoning behind why Edgar had protected me, nor why I can’t simply say thank you and move on.
My cheeks were unbearably hot.
Why did he confuse me so much?
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dalekofchaos · a year ago
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Grahamfield au
We need a spin off game or a fanfic about Max and Warren where
Max  met Warren the moment she came back to Arcadia Bay and they have been absolutely inseparable ever since
Chloe and Rachel successfully ran away to LA
In place of no Rachel, Samantha would be the one Jefferson kills
Nathan would just have a psychotic break down in the girls bathroom and when Max comes out of hiding, Nathan would attempt to shoot her and this is how her rewind powers activates
Warren and Kate are the only people Max will willingly come out of her cocoon for
While Max and Kate have their tea dates, Max and Warren occasionally have study dates and movie nights together
With being more open and welcoming to Warren, Max is more receptive to Warren’s texts
In the parking lot Max and Warren’s interactions will be the same and Nathan will attack will remain the same. But without Chloe, Max would knee Nathan in the groin Warren will try to help Max but Nathan will keep beating on him until David breaks up the fight. 
Max would rush Warren to the nurse’s office and help wipe the blood off and reduce the swelling of Warren’s bruises. Warren would say “Max, you are my super hero” and Max would say “and you are my white knight Warren.” they smile at each other and hold hands.
They would go to Warren’s dorm. Fan art of what his dorm could look like, art  by Rey1000 
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Max and Warren would chill and Max would tell Warren about everything. Her dream of the storm, and Nathan and her powers. Warren believes her instantly
Max and Warren would drive down to the lighthouse, Max has another blackout, Warren helps her out of it and the snowstorm happens
Same situation with Kate. 
We later get to talk about Kate to Warren. Warren will of course believe Max about Nathan’s involvement with Kate  and says he will be there for Kate and help her.
Warren wants to ease Max and take her mind off things and invites her to “Go Ape” and Max will say yes!
Max asks Warren to go to the Two Whales with her
After meeting Joyce, Joyce confirms that Chloe has left Arcadia Bay with her girlfriend Rachel and doesn’t believe she’ll ever return. This saddens Max but is happy Chloe is free to live her best life with the girl she loves
In place of the junkyard, I can see Max and Warren studying together while both trying to figure out how they can help Kate. 
While they study together, We find out Warren is basically the boy version of Matilda. Was neglected as a child, so he chose books and science as his passion and sci-fi and it made him feel whole.
At the end of episode 2 their moment of them together remains the same, but we are given a choice to kiss Warren
Warren calls Max his “Super Max” and Max calls him her “White Knight” Max and Warren will also say “You are my partner in space(Warren)” “And you are my partner in time(Max)”
Max and Warren are investigating Blackwell at night looking for evidence on Nathan
Instead of going to the pool, Max and Warren would sneak off to Warren’s dorm for movie night. 
The next scene will open with Max and Warren cuddling and the two taking a selfie together.
They will talk and say they should go on a date to the End Of The World Party as a date and a means to spy on Nathan and make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone again.
In episode 4 Max and Warren are together throughout the episode gathering evidence. 
Warren knocks Nathan down and Max prevents him from stooping to Nathan’s level
Eventually they uncover the darkroom
In wanting to look good for Warren on their dates and to go to Vortex Club parties together, Max takes Courtney on her offer  for a makeover. So every date, Dana, Courtney,  Taylor and Victoria gives Max a makeover and dress and doll her up. Warren’s jaw hits the floor the moment he sees her
Max instructs Warren to keep a look out for Nathan while Max warns Victoria
After talking with Victoria. Max and Warren share a dance and a kiss and Max takes a picture of them to save the memory.
We are given the opportunity to enter a photo for the Everyday Hero Contest. We enter at the last minute as Jefferson would give Max the opportunity. So Max with Kate’s permission, Kate would let Max take a photo of her in the hospital. And Max enters her photo at the last minute when she returns to Blackwell. Max wins the Everyday Hero Contest. Max gives an inspiring speech about how everyone can be a hero and that Kate has always inspired her, how much she loves Kate and that she hopes that Kate knows that she is loved by everyone in Blackwell and everyone, especially Warren, and, Victoria would cheer Max on. This would also give Jefferson the means and opportunity to drug Max
Warren brings the cavalry to save Max. One of the things that bothered me about Polarized is Warren just gives up on Max and doesn’t try to look for her. Warren would not just give up on Max, he would go look for her, damn the storm.  He knows Max has been gone for a while. So what I think should’ve happened is Warren seeks out David for help.
Max thanks Warren and the choice is presented hug or kiss. if platonic hug is taken, Max just thanks Warren normally. If kiss is chosen, Max will tell Warren “I’m so glad my white knight was here to save me” Warren will explain after her long disappearance, he got worried and sought out David to warn him about Max’s disappearance and used their evidence to find her.
Max would use her photo and after the kiss Max would tell Warren everything. They leave and warn everyone about Jefferson and the storm. After Jefferson is arrested, the bunker is cleared out and the towns people hide within the bunker and as the storm is raging over Arcadia Bay, Max and Warren hold each other.
Eventually Arcadia Bay would be in a process of rebuilding. Mark Jefferson is on his way to prison as is Sean Prescott. Kate and 20 other girls get their justice. 
Max and Warren eventually complete their education in University of Oregon and they bid farewell to Arcadia Bay.
Eventually Max and Warren heads to LA. To visit an old friend. Max and Chloe catches up. Chloe is relieved to hear no one died in AB and just glad she’s okay and glad Max has a knight in shining armor to watch over her, even if he’s a nerd(Oh Chloe lol)
Max, Warren, Chloe and Rachel would travel together for some time. But eventually Max and Warren would decide to settle down
Max and Warren would date for a long time and eventually getting married. Kate, Chloe and Rachel would be there for the wedding
Max has finally become a famous photographer and eventually a photojournalist. Warren becomes a chemistry professor and married Max Caulfield. He often brings in photographs by Max to show to his students how proud he is of his wife. Think of Warren as the John Mulaney of Chemistry lol
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oddmentsandoddities · 11 months ago
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Arwen Live-Blogs Return of the King (Extended)
-Christopher Lee was so offended P. Jackson cut his death scene that he refused to go to the preview.
-Saruman really just goes around jabbing people where it hurts the most ”You’re all going to die” "What is Rohan but a thatched barn, where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs?" "This exile, crept from the shadows, will never be crowned king"
-Gimli has the right idea: "I've heard enough! Shoot him. Stick an arrow in his gob.”
-Of course Pippin has to go pick up the shiny thing. Why not?
-This drinking game between Legolas and Gimli seems a bit unfair, considering Gimli is chugging it like water and he's dehydrated, and Legolas is sipping daintily like the sweet pea he is
-"It's the dwarves that go swimming with little hairy women"It's decided: Gimli has the best lines in this movie
-Gollum: the character most in need of intensive therapyUnofficial diagnoses - dissociative disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, among others
-Will never get over how PJ did film!Frodo so dirty
-EW EOWYN WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THE HAND OF AN ENGAGED MAN. DIRTY HOMEWRECKING BITCH. He's also the age of your grandfather?? Girl-
-As usual, Merry is the only sensible hobbit, while Pippin goes around causing trouble literally every movie of this trilogy. "FOOL OF A TOOK" indeed
-Still, the Merry & Pippin separation scene 😭 When Merry gives Pippin the last of his weed. 😭 When Pippin asks Merry if they'll see each other again. 😭 When Merry's voice breaks, "I don't know what's going to happen." Why would you stab my heart out with a spoon like that? 😭
-When Arwen turns back from literal heaven so she can stay with Aragorn and says the most famousest of LOTR quotes, "From the ashes a fire shall be woken. A light from the shadows shall spring""Nothing is certain." //Elrond"Some things are certain." //Arwen
-The way Minas Tirith makes Edoras look like a peasant's hovel
-Film!Denethor: salty bitch Book!Denethor: wise but misled ???
-Sam: "It must be getting near to teatime. Leastaways it would be in decent places where there is still teatime."Gollum: "We're not in decent places."Oh Sam, how precious and sweet you are. Everyone needs a Sam
-When Gandalf is so indignant at Pippin he starts choking and Pippin has to get him water
-"There never was much hope; just a fool's hope."And yet they all keep fighting anyways. Suppose that's Tolkien's whole point
-Sam threatening Gollum has the vibe of someone having a talk with their best friend's bf to make sure they know what will happen if they break their heart. But worse because Gollum just wants to get them killed, so it would really have been best for Sam to throw him off the cliff
-Ah the Gondor beacon scene, where you feel sorry for these poor souls who have to live in the middle of nowhere just to wait for the beacons to be lit (maybe once every other generation or less)
-Faramir: the literal best character ever (tied with Sam). The kind where whenever they come onscreen you just wanna cry and hug them forever. Protect this baby at all costs and shower him with excessive love until he overdoses on it
-everyone: "I wonder what dark terror is lurking in Cirith Ungol"Cirith Ungol's literal definition: cleft of the spider
-I wonder if people love Faramir because they relate to the feeling of being the unloved child
-When Denethor literally tells Faramir he wishes he'd died instead of Boromir I just want to stab him through the throat with the bone of that chicken he's eating. #protectfaramiratallcosts 
-In case it wasn't obvious enough, Denethor wins the award for Parent Most Likely to Get Arrested by Child-Protective-Services
-WHY DOES DENETHOR REFUSE TO EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. HAS TO SPEW OUT TOMATO JUICE LIKE A BARBARIAN.
-Denethor to Pippin: "Sing for me while I offer you no food and drip tomato juice all down my chin while I send my last remaining son out to his death."Denethor when Faramir is found gravely injured: "I DIDN'T MEAN IT WHEN I SAID I WANTED YOU TO DIE; HOW DARE YOU"
-I like how film!Aragorn flirts with Eowyn and only decides he wants to be loyal to Arwen when Elrond shows up with his new sword and news that she's dying (???), while book!Aragorn's motivation for claiming his kingship is to prove himself worthy of Elrond's daughter
-Theoden really just said "We're fucked, but wth we're going to war anyways. DEEAAATTHHH!!!"
-Adding to my pile of Eowyn-is-inferior-to-Arwen: Theoden leaves her in charge of Rohan because he expects he & Eomer will die and then Rohan will be left without a ruler. She has a responsibility to her people, but she goes gallivanting off to battle b/c she wants glory in death
-Legolas unhesitatingly following Aragorn through the door of the Dimholt, where there are ghosts and where they'll probably die, even though he hates caves = #friendshipgoals
-"The dead do not suffer the living to pass.""You WILL suffer ME"Peak Aragorn badassery
-Gandalf whacking Denethor with his staff is one of the most satisfying moments in cinematic history
-Gollum is one of the most fascinating, complex characters. He's ultimately a tragic figure, but until a certain point, you wonder if and hope that he will turn out fine. Frodo looks at him and hopes the same, knowing that if there's hope for Gollum, there's hope for him too
-TW// "There is no hope for men," Denethor says as a bud on the dying tree of Gondor flowers. Is this a commentary on suicide? If Denethor had despaired, he might have seen the victory and renewal of Middle Earth, but he lost hope too early
-Gandalf: No matter what comes through those gates, you will stand your ground (Armoured trolls with spiked clubs come through) Gandalf: Shit
-Sam vs ShelobA 3' tall gardener hobbit with fierce, undying love for his friend vs giant centuries-old spider. Who will win?
-"Don't leave me here alone. Don't go where I can't follow."I'M SO SAD AND CAN'T CONTROL MY FEELINGS
-Parent-of-the-Year award goes to We're-Gonna-Lose-Anyways-So-I'll-Burn-My-Son-and-Myself-Alive Denethor
-Mine and N's life goal is become pro horseback riders so we can be extras in epic fantasy films like the riders of Rohan (also, Eomer charging with his spear looks unhinged)
-Fun trivia: when making the orc commander's face, P. Jackson didn't think it was grotesque enough so he just threw it around on the ground a few times.
-Sad how Merry gets no credit for his part in the killing of the Witch King, when it was his dagger that destroyed its immortality
-Eomer finding Eowyn on the battlefield still stabs my heart out with a spoon. In the book he literally goes mad for a while. Sibling goals. My brother wouldn't be that sad over me. 😑
-THE MERRY AND PIPPIN REUNION WE ALL NEEDED 😭"I knew you'd find me""Yes""Are you going to leave me?""No Merry, I'm going to look after you"(DISTANT SOBBING)
-Eowyn and Faramir have such a rushed love affair, but you know what - I would fall in love with Faramir immediately too
-Filthy maggots, scum, slugs-some choice names orcs like to call each other
-The last stand, when Aragorn, not knowing if Frodo was still alive, not knowing if he was even in Mordor at the time, brings a small army to almost certain death, for the tiny chance that it would distract Sauron enough for Frodo to succeed. I CAN'T CONTROL MY FEELINGS
-"I CAN'T CARRY IT FOR YOU, BUT I CAN CARRY YOU"AHHHHHHWill never get over this scene, ever. I'll be replaying it in my mind when I'm dead and use it to haunt all my friends
-LITERAL CHILLS ALWAYS
-That heartbreaking look Sam gives Frodo when he realises Frodo has been consumed by the Ring and isn't going to destroy it after they've come all that way
-Peter Jackson really just made Legolas madly in love with Aragorn
-When Frodo's clinging to the side of the cliff, and Sam sees that look of utter tiredness on Frodo's face, and Sam's begging him not to let go, and Frodo reaches for his hand. T.T Goosebumps, every time.
-Sam is the true hero of Lord of the Rings
-Legolas approaching Aragorn and Aragorn putting his hand on Legolas' shoulder, saying, "Thank you" in Elvish = a bride coming toward his groom, and nothing will ever convince me otherwise
-Is nobody going to talk about how Pippin named one of his kids after Faramir??!
-When Aragorn bows to the four hobbits, and everyone looks all bashful, but Pippin's standing there looking very pleased with himself, after he's done the least out of all of them hahaha. Classic Pippin
-Fun trivia: during Sam and Rosie's wedding kiss scene, Sean Astin kept not doing it right and he was getting nervous because his wife doesn't like kissing scenes. So Viggo kissed Billy Boyd (to help make it less awkward?) and after that they got the kiss scene down.
-The ending of LOTR will always be so painfully bittersweet. Frodo goes through the agony of his journey and carrying the Ring. They save Middle-Earth, yet he's so broken by the experience that he can't find peace anywhere else and literally has to go to heaven to be healed
-"I will not say, 'do not weep,' for not all tears are an evil." //Gandalf
-And at the end, Frodo smiles his first real smile since the first film. This film always leaves me with this odd, unsatisfied feeling. The protagonist wins, but loses so much at the same time. Never let anyone tell you LOTR is a simple, black-and-white story with a happy ending. 
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hargroves-angel · 2 years ago
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Cookies And Cream 🏹🍪
Chapter 5 - Ice Cream
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Warnings - Mentions Of Abuse, Fluff, Billy being baby 🥰
// Chapter 6 - Cheese Cake // Cookies And Cream Masterlist //
“Billy!” Y/N giggled. She was like an excitable puppy as she pulled him into her house.
“Woah angel what’s got you so happy?” He smirked. She had invited him over to do something, well that’s what Max said anyway. He kept trying to shove yesterday out of his mind, he didn’t care about who you liked anyway so he was confused as to why that lingering feeling of wonder wouldn’t go.
She daintily skipped as she dragged him into the kitchen. Several ingredients were placed on the counters. “What’s this?” He asked.
“We are baking! That’s why I asked your sister to tell you to come over today? I thought she told you why?” Billy shrugged. “Either way I’m on the cheerleading squad! And I’ve got my first team bake sale!” She was beaming at him, her eyes shone with joy.
“Really?! That’s great doll, didn’t know they did bake sales though” he chuckled. Looking around at the various equipment.
“It’s to get better uniforms for us and some new basketball hoops and jerseys for you guys... you know how they’re doing that cheerleader to a player thing- which reminds me!” She bounced upstairs leaving Billy for a moment.
Billy felt uneasy. He wanted to ask you who you liked but he also told himself that he didn’t care, because he didn’t... right?
She was holding a journal in her hand. It was a pastel pink colour with a white ribbon in it, she used that as book mark clearly.
“Look!” She showed him a list of names. It was various girls names on one side and boys on the other, each was paired with a line.
He read Y/N and followed the line to Billy. Who was Billy? Oh wait that was him... Jesus he’s been spending way too much time over thinking. Oh wait that was him! she was gonna be his cheerleader, he felt his heart swell. He hated it.
“Emery was meant to be paired with you, but after yesterday... she decided she wanted to go with Sean, how it works is that I’ll get given a cheerleading dress with my second name on it for when I’m cheering in competitions and practicing and then another for school games we get to switch into the special uniforms with our basketball players second name on, so mine will have Hargrove on it, team Hargrove for the win!” Y/N looked down, she seemed a little flustered. “It was Emery’s idea because Sean had given her a promise ring and she wanted to show off her future second name or something, I like the concept. I’m like your personal cheerleader!” She giggled. Billy’s heart fluttered at the thought of her being his personal cheerleader.
“Thats perf- great.. all good” he cleared his throat. Y/N felt a little unhappy with his response, she thought he’d be happier, oh well.
“Anyway!” She shoved the book onto the table and flicked through it to a decorated page. “I was up all night making a list of what we have to make, and you’re helping me!” She declared.
“What! I don’t know the first thing about baking” he protested.
“Trust me, max filled me in, so that’s why I’m gonna teach you!” She put on her cooking apron over her dress. “One second” She left the room, Billy stood in the kitchen, looking at the patterned wallpaper on her walls. He jumped when he felt her hands wrap around his middle, she pulled an apron over his head and tied it up, he wanted to lean into her touch because it just felt so comfortable, so right. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind. He looked at the black material. 
“This has to be the darkest thing you own” He chuckled. 
“I bought it yesterday, I couldn't really imagine you wearing frilly pink or white aprons, Bad Boy” she teased. His heart warmed at the fact that she went out of her way for him. Damn, he needed to eat... Sure was getting hungry...
They washed their hands, Billy flicked some water at Y/N and she squealed doing the same.
“Billy! Stop you’re gonna ruin my dress!” She giggled pushing him away from her and throwing a cloth at him. He quickly dried his hands before creeping up behind Y/N and tickling her sides as she tried to dry her own hands. Her soft giggled filled the room as Billy kept tickling her, they both ended up falling on the floor, laughing. “Billy! Please stop!...” she giggled. He ceased, his body hovering over hers, his face now only inches away from hers, his eyes glanced over hers, he licked his lips, the hungry feeling getting really strong his whole stomach fluttering in... hunger?
“Y/N... I think... I... - we should get up and get started” he mumbled crawling off of her. His dick wanted him to go back, that was the closest they’d been. His mind and his heart told him to leave, he felt as though maybe he didn’t want to go that far... yet. For some reason he was starting to care about her... Jesus he was starving right now, he definitely needs to go to a doctor this amount of hunger surely wasn’t normal, he’d only had breakfast an hour ago!
“Ok what are we making first?” He asked looking inside the flour bag.
“Something simple, cookies!” She beamed at him. She got on her tip toes and tried to grabbed a huge book from the cabinet.
“Here lemme help princess” Billy chuckled picking up the book with ease and placing it on the table.
“Thank you” she went to the table and flicked through it. “Ok, so we have different types to make, so classic chocolate chip, double chocolate, cupcake mix cookies and sugar cookies!” She landed on a page that had the word cookies on it and proceeded to look through the various pages after that picking out the right recipes.
“Where did you get this from?” He asked, noticing how most of the pages were old and crinkled but some where fresh.
“It’s passed down the generations in my family, this was originally my great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmothers recipies and then once they pass on they hand it to their daughters” she smiled at his inquisitive nature.
“Jesus that’s old” he smirked. “Let’s bake then” he was actually excited, the only time he baked was with his mother back in California, he only did it once because his father shouted at him for doing ‘girly things’. This felt nice though.
Y/N and Billy baked all the different types of cookies, Billy getting various ingredients down himself.
Billy had cookie dough on his cheek and had eaten half of the chocolate chips they were meant to be using. “Come here!” She scolded him and licked her thumb wiping the dough from him. 
She showed him how to cut out various shapes for the sugar cookies. Guiding his fingers to the right places and giggling whenever he got frustrated.
They moved on from the cookies to making other recipes. From doughnuts to cupcakes to even home made ice cream.
Billy’s big hands were good at kneading bread, and so he worked on a whole meal loaf whilst she tackled a Victoria sponge.
“Billy be careful! You’ll squish it” she laughed at his best efforts to bake.
“Princess I don’t understand! This is confusing” he groaned. Shoving the bread into the oven.
“That’s better, you’re doing really well Billy, these are gonna taste amazing” she giggled.
Billy was enjoying this more than he should have, he usually would’ve tried moving onto sex by now, with no interest in the actual time they spent together. But with Y/N things were different, he wanted to spend time with her... she was like an angel- his angel-
Y/N handed him a piping bag with icing in it.
“Look what happens when you squeeze it” she guided his hands to the cake she had made placing it on the spot she wanted.
Billy lightly squeezed the piping bag and the icing came out like whipped cream.
“I’m pretty good at this baking stuff” he boasted. Icing smeared down his cheek and flour down himself.
“You’re amazing Billy!” She gazed into his baby blues. He looked into hers.
Time stopped again. Billy’s Head was spinning, that damn feeling was back and his heart rate was through the roof. Not to mention how hot it was, all the windows were open and Billy had snacked on literally anything he could find and that damn hunger wouldn’t stop.
The timer pulled them both out of the trance. Y/N hurried over to the oven opening it, the scent of all their treats filling the room.
“This is the best part” She sniffed the air taking in the sweet sugary smell. Billy had a blush dusting his cheeks. Watching this angel in front of him.
Maybe he wasn’t feeling hungry... maybe it was something else. He pushed it to the back of his mind.
Billy blinked quickly and helped her get the cookies and desserts out of the oven.
“These turned out perfectly Billy!” She showed him the treats. There was one dodgy cookie in the corner.
“Ahh there’s my practise cookie” he smirked grabbing it off the burning hot tray and immediately flinching backwards. “Fuck!” he yelled holding his hand. Y/N put the tray down and took Billy to the sink, she ran cold water over his finger.
“What am I going to do with you” she rubbed his back, nursing his finger under the cold water. “That feeling better?” She asked after 2 minutes. He nodded. Feeling a bit embarrassed. Also a little confused, no one usually cared when he got hurt. It was usually ‘Man up pussy and get over it’, it felt nice to be cared for. “Let me kiss it better” she pressed her lips to his hand and placed a soothing kiss on it.
Ok she definitely was an angel, it’s like it just stopped burning immediately, or maybe it was the fact that it had been under freezing cold water for a minute or two but still, that small kiss made his mind go fuzzy.
“It’s all good, didn’t hurt that much” he brushed off.
“Sure thing bad boy” she handed him a cool rag and he held it on his fingers and thumb. “Anyway now that that’s over we can package everything, my second favourite part” She took him to the dining room, baskets and plastic wrap was around the place, bows and labels next to them.
“How about you hand me the treats, once they’ve cooled down, and I’ll wrap them and then you write the label and then ill put the bow on top, let’s start with cookies”
Billy handed her several cookies, keeping one for himself and biting into it. He wrote down the labels.
Y/N placed some in a big basket and a couple spread into small gift boxes similar to the one she gave him when they first met.
They moved on through the treats. Soon enough it was dark outside and everything had been complete.
Y/N and Billy sat down in her room, both laughing at one of his stories about Tommy.
“That’s mean!” She giggled.
“He deserved it” Billy protested. Their laughing calmed down and Billy looked up at the time. “I should get back, Maxine probably thinks I’ve died or something, I’ve never spent this much time with a girl” he smirked at her.
“So I’ve been told” she smiled at him.
“What do you mean?”
“There were rumours about you being a womaniser and stuff, even if you are ,Billy, or were, I don’t care by the way. To me you’re sweet, not anything like that. I only believe what I see not what I hear” she moved closer to him. His arm wrapping around her.
“Thanks, not many people now a days think like that” he mumbled, happy that she was willing to ignore that stuff to get to know him. She really was perfect.
“I need to go” he quickly said, standing up rather fast. “Umm, see you Monday!” He mumbled leaving her house as quick as he could.
He breathed out heavily as he got past his front door.
He noticed Neil’s car parked by the side of the house, oh god.
“Where have you been boy” Neil asked gruffly.
“With a friend dad” he muttered “doesn’t matter anyway I’m here now”
“Yeah, after curfew, I asked you to babysit your fucking sister”
“She’s not my-”
“I don’t give a shit boy” Billy shoved past him into his room. Neil yelling after him. Susan got up from the couch.
“Don’t think you can fucking run away from me you little shit, you gonna run like your piece of shit mother huh?” Billy’s blood ran cold, how fucking dare he.
Billy balled his fists but Neil got the advantage shoving him against the wall. His shirt in his hands.
“You fucking come home late again, you fucking speak to me like again, you’re gonna regret it” he spat at Billy, “now what do you say!”
Billy looked the other way, he didn’t want to even look at Neil.
“Say it boy!”
Billy mumbled his response.
“SAY IT”
“I’m sorry sir” Neil slapped him and proceeded to let go of his shirt leaving Billy to fall down. His hands trying to steady himself. Susan rushed Neil out of the room.
“Fucking ungrateful piece of shit, doesn’t know the first fucking thing about-” Neil yelled at Susan.
Billy took a deep breath in. His eyes glazing over with hurt. He felt so lost, so lonely. His hands were shaking, hot tears blurring his vision as he slid down the wall. Letting himself cry, get every emotion out.
Y/N watched him from her window. Her own eyes watering. “Billy” She whispered. Wanting nothing then go run over to him and hold him, tell him everything was ok. She bit her lip, stepping away from her window. Her heart racing, she felt horrible. Should she have yelled something from the window? Would he have heard her? She took a deep breath in. Tears rolling down her cheeks. She shook with regret and sadness.
Billy needed help. She didn’t know how to help. But she was going to try anyway she could. Because she cared about him.
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splat-dragon · 2 years ago
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Breaking the silence abruptly, the boy asked, “S-say, haven’t I seen, seen you before?” he looked at Hosea hopefully, his feathers ruffling nervously, “are… are you a friend of Oscar’s?” and Hosea had to keep his wings from flaring, from displaying to the Omega—yes, yes he was a friend of Oscar’s. He’d not found many male Omegas who were willing to bed a male Alpha, it was too ingrained in them and while he was an Alpha and an outlaw he was not that horrible a man, not that much a slave to his instincts, but he very much was a friend of Oscar’s.
It wasn’t often that Hosea got to get away from camp and relax.
 He left camp often, don’t get him wrong. But only ever for work. To sniff out leads, slip his hands into pockets and find work for the others, jobs to offload to Arthur and John, Bill and Sean when he could force them to clear their heads and get off their asses. Even when he got to leave camp to ‘enjoy’ himself, it was often playing a part, acting the civilized gentleman to con some fool out of their ancestral money.
 So when he finished a long job, having ridden halfway across the states, he intended on taking a break before riding home. He hadn’t written Dutch yet, hadn’t told him that his satchel was heavy with the fool’s money, and so he didn’t feel terribly guilty for taking a few days to rest and relax and enjoy himself.
The little town he’d stopped in wasn’t great. He’d not stuck around after robbing the man blind, slipping out in the middle of the night to where he’d left Silver Dollar tacked up and ready to go, and ridden his gelding hard, stopping only when he was a good two states away. The saloon was the best of the two in the little livestock town, and he’d stabled Silver Dollar and paid the stable owner to give the poor horse a workdown, intending on resting him for a few days after such a hard ride.
 He’d spent a few days resting himself, not as young as he’d used to be, getting his guns tended to, eating well for once—at least, as well as one could in some backwater livestock town, heading out every once and a while to stretch his and Silver Dollar’s legs on short trail rides.
At the time, though, he had just finished a round of poker, one he had won—quite well, actually. He’d thrown a few hands, to keep them from suspecting anything, but from how drunk the men were he doubted they would have anyway. He swept his winnings into his satchel as he stood, spreading massive osprey wings wide in a lazy stretch, tipping back the last of his watered down beer. “Think that’s me done, gentlemen,” he hummed to the grumbling men, making his way to the bar and leaning on it, tapping his fingers on the wood to get the bartender’s attention, throwing down enough for a whiskey and receiving a dusty glass in return.
 The door to the saloon opened, and the way everyone went quiet for a moment had him looking over the rim of his glass to keep from being to obvious, taking in the small, lanky form that walked in with little care to the many eyes that burned holes in them or, perhaps, their dove’s wings, small and dull but pure white, undeniably songbird and marking them as Omega.
 And, oh, how interesting, a male one at that, he realized, taking in the face, the jaw just a hair too angular, the chest lacking that tell-tale curve, the hips curved but not curved enough and, as they got closer and he was able to take in their scent, their scent flowery as an Omega’s but with the underlying spice of a male.
 How rare.
 The little Omega made his way to the bar, putting down enough for a beer and sipping it down, wrinkling his nose at the flavor, and Hosea couldn’t blame him; the alcohol in Valentine was utter shit. While the Omega was distracted, though, he allowed himself an appreciative glance.
 The boy was definitely pretty, in the way the few male Omega’s he’d seen were. Cheekbones rounded, nose blunt, eyes wide and soft, a soft blue. Freckles danced on tanned skin, and as he sipped at the drink he got a glance of a missing canine. Cute, he thought, was the best way to describe him. The boy’s shoulders were nearly feminine, not standing out noticeably, and he wouldn’t be surprised to find little muscle beneath his clothing, his build a slim ‘v’ that ended in a slightly pinched waist, hips not as curved as an Omegan woman but not as flat as an Alpha man.
 Hosea had never been the most Alphan Alpha, sniffing after every Omega, but he couldn’t help but to think about how his hands would feel curved around the Omega’s waist, his fingers digging into the dimples he knew he’d find at the base of his spine.
 It was just a dream, though, he was sure. Male Omegas were only ever supposed to mate with female Alphas, a female Beta if they absolutely had to. Male Beta to female Beta, female Omega to male Alpha. Anything else was blasphemy, taboo, and in some states downright illegal. Your first gender always came first, your secondary gender second. It was ridiculous, if you asked Hosea, and Dutch, and most of their gang as well, but since when has civilization made sense?
 And this Omega looked to be the civilized sort, the sort who would let his parents pick a mate for him, wait as they found a nice Alpha woman and play incubator for her. He looked back at his drink for a moment, and felt a pair of eyes burning into the side of his head. Tilting the whiskey down his throat, if it could really be called whiskey, he looked over to meet the Omega’s blue eyes, going wide as he was caught.
 “Hello mister,” the boy said, tapping for the bartender and putting down the money for another beer. Hosea pushed his money back towards him, taking a moment to test the air, sniffing as subtly as he could and oh, offered him a grin,
 “Let me buy you a drink son,” as he put down the money for a whiskey that was quickly placed in front of the Omega, enjoying the red that burnt at the crest of the boy’s ear.
 “Thank you,” the boy tipped the whiskey back, only to splutter and cough, wings fluttering and arching and Hosea felt a definite bit of a thrill as wings used for little more than show brushed his own, a very intimate motion, the way the boy shivered even as he coughed, the Alpha thumping him on the back, showing that he wasn’t unaffected. Though that was to be expected, wings are incredibly sensitive and personal things, only meant to be touched by mates and family and flock.
 “Alright there?” Hosea chuckled, and the boy (though he was barely a boy, Hosea would have placed him at perhaps twenty or twenty one, still a boy to the man) nodded even as he wiped tears from his eyes.
 “Wasn’t… wasn’t expecting that, s’all,” and he couldn’t help but to wonder what such an Omegan Omega was doing in a place such as Valentine, where the men, Alpha and Beta both, were drunkards and bastards, the air reeking of alcohol and filled with foul language and screaming both. He seemed like the sort of Omega to be found in a manor down in Saint Denis, kept dozing on a pillow and covered in fine silks and jewelry ripe for the picking.
 “Don’t drink much, do you son?” he asked, and the boy shook his head,
 “No sir, usually wine, never whiskey.” his nose wrinkled, turned up and made his opinion quite clear without saying a word.
 “It’s an acquired taste,” Hosea chuckled, tapping the bar and getting another whiskey, not missing how the boy’s wings twitched, arching just slightly as the Alpha sipped at the alcohol, savoring it instead of downing it in one go despite how foul it tasted.
 “Not one I care to acquire, then,” and Hosea allowed himself a laugh after he swallowed the whiskey, shaking his head, his own wings arching in return. The boy’s eyes were drawn to them, the fluffy white coverts he could just make out, the banded brown secondaries flared slightly by the movement.
 They sipped at their drinks, the boy passing his whiskey to Hosea after another poor-fated attempt at quickly acquiring the taste, the Alpha buying him a beer despite the Omega putting up a token argument, finally thanking him and looking more comfortable as he sipped the drink, though his nose still turned up in distaste he didn’t start choking on it.
 Breaking the silence abruptly, the boy asked, “S-say, haven’t I seen, seen you before?” he looked at Hosea hopefully, his feathers ruffling nervously, “are… are you a friend of Oscar’s?” and Hosea had to keep his wings from flaring, from displaying to the Omega—yes, yes he was a friend of Oscar’s. He’d not found many male Omegas who were willing to bed a male Alpha, it was too ingrained in them and while he was an Alpha and an outlaw he was not that horrible a man, not that much a slave to his instincts, but he very much was a friend of Oscar’s.
 “I know Oscar,” he agreed, and watched the boy’s wings mantle, the movement cutting off abruptly to keep from drawing too much attention, face flushing and eyes darting to his own wings, much larger and darker than the boy’s, a predator’s instead of a songbird’s, made to intimidate and court. The boy had frozen, looked unsure of what to do next, and while Hosea didn't want to push him he didn’t want the boy to panic and rabbit, so he applied just that little bit of pressure, “is he looking for me?”
 The boy startled as though spooked, and for a moment Hosea thought he would rabbit, regret what he’d done and get the sheriff and Hosea would have to bolt for home sooner than he’d planned, but finally he nodded, and Hosea could see his adam’s apple bob as he gulped, “Y-yeah, he asked me to come get you.”
 Hosea nodded, throwing back the last dregs of his whiskey before clapping his hands on his knees and standing, heading for the door. The Omega followed at his heels, and he could feel his eyes burning holes in his wings, and flared them just enough to be noticeable only if you were looking.
 He led the boy into the alleyway next to the saloon, glad that it was just gone night and they’d be hard to see, and the saloon was loud so there was little they’d have to worry about keeping quiet. “What’s your name, mister?” the boy asked, shifting from foot to foot nervously in the mood, looking over his shoulder as though expecting the law to suddenly materialize.
 “Hosea,” the Alpha answered, thought for a moment about giving a false name but wanted nothing more than to hear his name coming from those lips, looking the Omega over and wishing that he could unwrap him like a treat. Peel off his shirt and nibble down his spine, lap at the oil glands at the base of his wings, but they were hidden beneath that duster of his and what a shame that was. As it were, all he’d be able to do was run his fingers through the feathers if the Omega let him, and oh he hoped he did, Omega’s have the softest feathers, nothing like an Alpha’s rough, coarse ones, or a Beta’s, smooth and almost dull to the touch. And the Omega’s wings looked incredibly soft, plush and white and fluffy, more like fur than feathers.
 “I’m Leo,” his wings arched, and ruffled, and it was enough for Hosea to reach forward and grab his wrist, tearing a gasp from the omega as he swung him around, slamming him against the wooden wall of the Doctor’s, looming over him and grinning at the smaller man appreciatively.
 “So handsome,” he hummed, and the boy’s eyes darkened, adam’s apple bobbing, and the Alpha spread his wings without thinking, arching them and stretching them out, out, out as far as they could go, enjoying the strain of the muscles, enjoying even more the way soft blue eyes widened, gleaming with appreciation, licking his lips with lust as the Alpha presented to him, osprey wings not half so distinct but striking in their own way. And the Omega returned it, stretching out his wings in turn, though his wingspan wasn’t half as wide they were beautiful as an Omega’s should be. “Good boy,” Hosea crooned, and Leo shuddered, tilted his head back and offered his neck, and Hosea didn’t wait to lower his head, flicking his tongue against his pulsepoint, feeling him shiver and hiding a grin against his skin as he began to suck at it, sinking his teeth into the skin and bruising it, leaving a mark that would last for quite a while (he wasn’t the most Alphan Alpha, but he was an Alpha, after all).
 Leo trembled beneath him, as quiet and pliant as any self-respecting Omega, and Hosea was determined to make him let go, to draw him out of that shell, and stepped closer, nipping a line along the straining tendon of his neck, rumbling low in his chest as he went, arching his wings to hide and cradle them, nudging his knee between his thighs and -bingo- the Omega groaned as he pressed against the bulge in his pants, bucking his hips at the sudden pressure, hand flying up to muffle the sound, but Hosea grabbed it by the wrist and pinned his hand to the wall, shaking his head, “Let me hear you,” as he began to grind his knee into Leo’s erection.
 The Omega’s head jolted back, slamming against the wall hard enough that the Alpha flinched, looking to make sure there was no blood, but Leo was fine, wings twitching against the wall as he whimpered and shivered, rutting against his leg like a dog, eyes wide and glassy. “P-please,” Hosea’s eyebrows raised, and he grinned, lowering his head and nipping at his pulse point as Leo went rigid, a high-pitched whine tearing from his throat, hips giving tiny little aborted bucks, the air smelling of Omega-cum.
 Leo panted, eyes hazy, and Hosea let him regain himself, enjoying himself as he licked and nipped and sucked at the Omega’s neck, the boy giving a whole body shudder when he lapped his tongue over his scent-gland, the Omega’s oils thick on his tongue, sending electricity sparking through every cell of blood in his body. “Good boy,” he panted, out of breath just from the taste of him, “such a handsome Omega,” and as boneless as Leo was he jolted beneath him, whined pitifully, and Hosea was so keyed up he couldn’t wait any longer.
 As gently as he could, he grabbed the Omega by the shoulders and twisted him around, pressing him against the wall. Leo grunted, but pressed his hands out to brace himself, reaching down to undo the buttons of his pants, Hosea reaching one hand down to help him, the other running up and down his spine, unable to stop touching the Omega. “Hosea!” Leo gasped abruptly, jerking as though he couldn’t decide to pull away or push towards him when he brushed his spent cock, and he pulled his hand back to lick his hands clean of the Omega’s cum as he used his other hand to push his pants down just enough to make him accessible. Leo spread his legs, presented himself as Hosea pulled himself out of his pants, running his thumb over himself, the pleasure making him growl.
 A cursory check found the Omega’s opening slick, wet but not sloppy, and giving without gaping, and some part of him knew pre-heat but he was too occupied with nipping at Leo’s spine, the Omega shivering, nervous-scent strong in the air, “Good boy, such a beautiful Omega,” as he aligned himself, rubbing his cock-head up and down for a moment to cover it with slick before pushing the tip into his hole.
 Both of them groaned as he pressed in, the Omega shifting to better brace himself, while Hosea took a tight grip around his waist (it felt just as nice as he’d known it would) with one hand, the other stroking up and down his side soothingly as he slowly, slowly pressed inside. Like any Omega, he was giving, but Leo was already nervous enough he didn’t want to spook him further. He was warm, and wet, and it was taking all Hosea had not to press him into the wall and fuck and mate and breed him.
 “Please,” Leo groaned, arching his wings, and he pulled out before thrusting in slowly. The Omega shuddered, and so he did it again, and again, going faster each time until the Omega was being jolted forward, spreading his legs and planting his hands to brace himself better, each thrust knocking the breath from his lungs with a whimpering “Ah!” that went right to Hosea’s erection, bringing his other hand down so he was grasping him around his waist with both hands, wings wide to balance him, setting his teeth into the back of his neck and thrusting violently, mindlessly, growling all the while.
 “Ah, Alpha, Alpha, Alpha,” the Omega began to whimper, his cock, having quickly swollen up again after Hosea filled him, bouncing against his stomach, head going a painful looking shade of purple, useless balls beginning to draw up against him, “Please, please, please,” and that was nice, but Hosea had put himself at great risk by giving him his real name and he wanted to hear it so he snarled, the Omega’s cock jumping at the sound, grabbing Leo’s hair and pulling his head back, nipping at his throat as he asked
 “What’s my name?”
 Leo sobbed, squirming against him, “Hosea! Hosea, Hosea, Hosea, please please please,” and the Alpha moaned, set his teeth so hard into his throat he tasted blood, and reached down to stroke the Omega’s cock at the same time he thrust, aimed for that one spot, and the Omega convulsed against him, keening so loudly he feared they’d be heard even with the loud saloon so he tugged his hair even further to the side and pressed his lips to Leo’s, swallowing down the sound.
 The Omega whimpered, slumped against the wall as he came down from his high, wings twitching, and without thinking Hosea pushed one away as it struck him in the face, feathers filling his mouth as he panted, only to still, eyes widening, as Leo sobbed, arching his back, knees buckling even as he and pressed his wing back into his touch and, oh, but that was an honor, and Hosea pressed him against the wall, running his fingers through those soft, soft feathers as he fucked into him, the air filled with filthy squelching, wonderful Omegan whimpers and Alpha grunts. The Omega squirmed with each touch of his fingers to those sensitive feathers, tears trickling down his face from the overstimulation, but when Hosea asked “Are you alright?” he demanded “Don’t stop!”
 He wasn’t a young thing anymore, prone to knotting before he knew he was about to, so when he felt that pressure starting to build in the base of his cock, the urge to press in and still, he moved to pull out, but Leo begged “Please, knot me, please,” and Hosea bared his teeth, dropped his head to rest it against the Omega’s wing as he pressed into him and stilled, knot expanding and holding him in place as he began to fill Leo with his seed, a low growl rumbling in his chest, the Omega moaning at the warmth.
 “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he panted, crossing his arms and resting his forehead on them, Hosea panting and leaning against him, trying to find a comfortable way to wait for his knot to go down.
 “Good boy,” he rumbled, stretching forward to press a kiss to the corner of his lips, nipping at them and finding that the Omega could give as good as he got when Leo turned his head into the kiss.
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ideonhenry · 3 years ago
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TIME 100: INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE 2019, THESE ARE OUR TOP PICKS FROM THE LIST...
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DWAYNE JOHNSON By Gal Gadot
There is no one in Hollywood quite like Dwayne Johnson, and certainly very few who are as busy. If you have had the pleasure to work with him, as I have on the Fast and Furious films, you know that he is full of heart and creates an environment on set filled with warmth and positivity.
Dwayne is someone who believes the sky is the limit and will go above and beyond to make sure he gives 100% every single day, whether he is at the gym, working with his charity (the Dwayne Johnson Rock Foundation), being with his family and friends, or working on a new project.
He is the true embodiment of the idea that people may forget what you said, people may forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Dwayne always makes sure people feel their best when he is around.
Gadot is an actor who stars alongside Johnson in the upcoming movie Red Notice
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TAYLOR SWIFT By Shawn Mendes
I’ve been a Taylor Swift fan for as long as I can remember. But it wasn’t until I met and got to know her that I understood how wonderful a person she truly is.
Taylor makes the job of creating music for millions of people look easy. It all comes from her—her belief in magic and love, and her ability to be as honest and raw as possible. She’s the master of putting the perfect amount of thought into not overthinking, and that’s why her music connects so well.
I was so lucky to be able to open for a handful of her stadium shows on the 1989 World Tour. And I quickly learned that the magic of Taylor Swift doesn’t come from the lights, dancers or fireworks (although all of that is incredible) but from the electrifying connection that she has with the people who are there to see her. There’s an overwhelming feeling in the air. The feeling of your heart racing in your chest with ­excitement—so much so that by the time you get to “Love Story,” all you want to do is pick up your phone and text every person you know to say how much you love them. The feeling is so thick, you feel like you could reach out and grab it to keep forever.
Taylor makes anyone older feel young again and anyone young feel they can do anything. It’s so rare and so special. If there is one thing I want to achieve in my career and life, it’s that.
Mendes is a Grammy-nominated musician
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MICHELLE OBAMA By Beyoncé Knowles-Carter
Loving Michelle Obama wasn’t much of a choice. It was something that came naturally, because of how she carried herself. Because she resembled us and was moving in spaces where, as black Americans, we weren’t exactly meant to be, she seemed so powerful.
When I first met her, I was embraced by a warm, regal, confident woman who possessed a reassuring calm, on the eve of President Obama’s historic first Inauguration.
The way she looked, walked and spoke, in that warm but authoritative tone, we saw our mothers and sisters. She was strong and ambitious and spoke her mind without sacrificing honesty or empathy. That takes a lot of courage and discipline.
She would’ve been impactful simply by being in the White House, the first African-American First Lady. But she also used her position of power to improve the world around her. Her initiative Reach Higher, for example, encourages young people to complete their education past high school. She empowers all of us to interrogate our fears and surpass greatness.
I’m honored to know such a brilliant black woman who’s spoken about the sacrifice it takes to balance her passions while remaining a supportive partner and mother, and now a best-selling author with Becoming. She has continued to open herself up, even if it meant being criticized. She has continued to be a portrait of grace.
I am so grateful that my daughters and my son live in a world where Michelle Obama shines as a beacon of hope who inspires all of us to do better and to be better.
Knowles-Carter is a Grammy-winning musician
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MARK ZUCKERBERG By Sean Parker
There was a word I remember from my first conversation with Mark Zuckerberg, over dinner in 2004. He used it to measure everything he did—from adding a feature to Facebook, to hiring, to eventually buying a company like Instagram. He called it increasing “goodness”—a notion that Facebook should, as John Stuart Mill believed, endeavor to do the greatest good for the greatest number.
Mark may have changed the world more than any living person, so it’s surprising how little success has changed him. He is still the slightly shy, affable person I met 15 years ago. He can still quote his favorite movies by heart, and he lives in a modest house in Palo Alto, Calif. It’s clearly not power or money that has kept him going—it’s a genuine belief in the potential of Facebook and a sense of responsibility to steward the company in what he believes is the right direction.
For many of us, the world that Facebook helped create was the ultimate lesson in unintended consequences. Nobody could have predicted the impact that it would have when billions of people began using it, especially once they had a connected device within reach at all times. I have become a critic of social media, largely because of the way it leverages individual psychology to rewire social dynamics, replacing a small number of strong interpersonal bonds with a larger number of weaker social connections.
Faced with tensions between the company’s idealistic belief in impartiality and “openness” and the realities of managing this global platform (public scrutiny, accusations of privacy abuses and government investigations), Mark will need to make hard choices. My hope is that he remains true to the ideals upon which the company was founded—choosing to promote universal values like decency over sensationalism, intimacy over social status, and human dignity over tribalism—or in Zuckspeak, simply: “goodness.”
Parker is an entrepreneur and was the founding president of Facebook
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BTS By Halsey
How exactly does one accomplish world domination? Surely it takes remarkable talent, charm, kindness, altruism and dedication. But you’d still be missing a key component: a devoted community to uplift your efforts, soften your stumbles and shoot light from their eyes into the sky in your name every single night.
By these parameters, BTS has reached the top. Over the past few years, the K-pop group has taken the music industry by storm—shattering sales records, gathering accolades and performing across the globe for head-spinning audiences—all the while remaining exemplary ambassadors for their Korean culture. But behind those three letters are seven astounding young men who believe that music is stronger than the barriers of language. It’s a universal dialect.
With positive messages of self-confidence, intricacies of philosophy hidden in their sparkly songs, true synergy and brotherhood in every step of their elaborate choreography, and countless charitable and anthropological endeavors, BTS have put their 14 best feet forward as role models to millions of adoring fans and anyone else who finds themselves drawn to BTS’s undeniable allure.
I have known “the boys”—as I and other fans affectionately call them—for years and had the pleasure of traveling to Korea to hang with them on multiple occasions. Outwardly, they are polished and professional, but hours of laughter, secret handshakes and gifts exchanged show those around them that underneath this showstopping, neatly groomed movement are just some guys who love music, one another and their fans.
For BTS, world domination is just another 8-count in the contemporary dance of life. But if you think that’s easy, you haven’t seen the love and effort these young men put into each and every step.
Halsey is a Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter
BTS were part of TIME’s 2018 Next Generation Leaders series.
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NANCY PELOSI By Hillary Rodham Clinton
Too often it seems we have a surplus of bluster in our national politics and a deficit of action. But then there’s Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
In the 2018 midterms, Nancy was the driving force that brought a Democratic majority back to the House, and opened the door for a Congress that’s more diverse than any other in our nation’s history and has some of its youngest members ever. Never one to back down from a bully, Nancy didn’t mince words during a visit to the White House after the elections. “Please don’t characterize the strength that I bring to this meeting,” she said, standing up for herself and millions of Americans.
She delivered. Under her leadership, Democrats passed the first major gun-­safety bill in a generation and desperately needed voting-­rights legislation. As Democrats continue fighting to protect reproductive rights, pass paid family leave, protect Americans’ right to affordable health care and hold this Administration to account, Nancy is leading the charge.
There’s a saying that goes: “If you want something done, ask a busy woman to do it.” Speaker Nancy Pelosi is living proof that when it comes to getting the job done, more often than not, it takes a woman.
Clinton, a Democrat, is a former Senator and Secretary of State, and was the first female presidential nominee of a major party
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ARIANA GRANDE By Troye Sivan
Through just about the craziest storms and whirlwinds I can imagine, Ariana Grande remains the most real person I’ve met. I’ve always thought the world is privy to actual, genuine emotion—be it heartbreak, empathy, generosity, resilience, strength—and I believe that’s exactly why the world keeps falling deeper in love with Ariana. Wearing her heart on her sleeve and in her work, she oozes those emotions in abundance. Armed with a full comprehension of how the world consumes music today, she is an industry game changer. Having released not one but two critically acclaimed, record-breaking albums just a few months apart—the latter, Thank U, Next, was written in just a few weeks—Ari is breaking the rules and is a force who understands how music should work in 2019. Her love of her fans and of music guide her every move. But my favorite moments with Ari are the quieter ones. When I, like so many, have been inspired by that resilience, love, care and heart in someone I’m lucky to call my friend.
Now she’s the biggest artist in the world, and that’s kind of a no-brainer to me. I can’t wait to see what she does next.
Sivan is an award-winning singer-songwriter
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RAMI MALEK By Robert Downey Jr.
The wild success of Bohemian Rhapsody was a group effort … literally. Queen entrusted Rami Malek with representing their legacy, the story of their lives, and the memory of their friend and bandmate. Somewhere during said crucible, he earned it. He developed the skill without which his many attributes as an artist might have been squelched—principled leadership. He’s understated and kind, complicated and relatable; he’s downright mercurial. Crucially, he’s a good man evolving alongside his potential. As a fan and friend, that’s what I’m particularly proud of.
Cosmic gratitude for Sam Esmail, whose inherent belief in Rami precipitated their groundbreaking partnership in Mr. Robot. Lastly, I contend that his mother Nelly, his father Said, his sister Yasmine and his brother Sami are the foundational pillars to his rise. Mighta just been destiny … more likely it’s yet another testament to hardworking immigrants raising their kids right and pushing our culture toward the light.
Downey is an Oscar-nominated actor and appears in the upcoming movie Avengers: Endgame
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GLENN CLOSE By Robert Redford
I met Glenn Close in the early ’80s on the set of The Natural, where her character brought light into my character’s life after circumstances had surrounded him with darkness. Her portrayal was beautifully acted, and my admiration for her work only grew with time.
Glenn is a major talent, an actor who is deeply committed to her craft. She doesn’t play roles as much as she transforms herself into them, never allowing her own personality or celebrity to get in the way.
Through many years now, I’ve been able to call her a friend and colleague. She never looks back, and neither do I. I just try to keep up with her—looking forward to her next performance, always.
Redford is an Oscar-­winning director, an actor and environmental advocate
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DONALD TRUMP By Chris Christie
Every modern U.S. President tries to influence the world. President Donald Trump has done this through opposing the NATO countries not paying their fair share, pushing China and our North American neighbors for fairer trade agreements and withdrawing from the Iran nuclear agreement. His boldest move in this direction is likely his personal efforts on the issue of North Korea. President Trump has, in fact, used the past year to place his imprint on a problem spanning more than six decades.
Despite denuclearization agreements in 1992, 2005 and 2008, North Korea has become a nuclear power. President Trump decided to ramp up sanctions early in his tenure (which other Presidents have done) but decided to take a very different tack thereafter.
In June 2018 President Trump broke with decades of U.S. policy and held a summit with North Korean Chairman Kim Jong Un in Singapore. The President believes that only personal diplomacy can solve this crisis. The President’s supreme confidence in his own ability to persuade others to make a deal is now the basis for American denuclearization policy toward North Korea.
President Trump deserves great credit for daring to try to personally persuade Chairman Kim to join the family of nations. This approach holds the possibility for history–making changes on the Korean Peninsula to make us all safer.
Christie, a Republican, is a former governor of New Jersey
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FRANCIS By Archbishop Charles J. Scicluna
This year Pope Francis has addressed the whole Catholic Church on the tragedy of sexual abuse of minors by clergy. He convoked an important meeting of church leadership in February because he believes in protecting the young, and that Catholic leaders around the world should be on the same page.
He is determined to put in place guidelines and policies to protect children and other vulnerable people. He believes we should not only pay attention to the symptoms, however tragic they are, but we should also go deeper and discern what are the roots of this “clericalism”—this evil abuse of conscience and power.
In his mind and in his heart, the abuse of these innocent persons is an abuse of the body of Jesus Christ. With great courage and wisdom, Pope Francis has invited all of us in the church to approach the immense suffering of victims with the same reverence as we would approach the suffering body of Christ.
Scicluna is the Archbishop of Malta and a leading reformer on clerical sex abuse
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SPIKE LEE By Jordan Peele
Spike Lee can’t be described in a single word. I might struggle to do it in 200. He’s a visionary, a trailblazer, a provocateur and a true American original. He’s made more than two dozen films across nearly every genre, and all of them have been completely different. But to me, the common thread across his career may be his impeccable timing—his ability to understand the cultural landscape of the moment and deliver a spot-on message.
At times, this has bordered on clairvoyance. Malcolm X was released in November 1992, just a few months after racial injustice had ignited a war on the streets of Los Angeles. 25th Hour was in preproduction in New York when the planes flew into the towers. Spike pivoted and expertly wove the tragedy that befell his (and my) beloved city into his otherwise unrelated movie. But in the time since, no one has captured the spirit and heartbreak of post-9/11 New York as well as he did in the moment. Most recently, BlacKkKlansman fittingly opened on the anniversary of the Charlottesville riots. It was a reminder that even though the Ron Stallworth story was decades old, the hatred he fought was still very fresh. It was also a testament to Spike’s ability as a filmmaker to transcend history.
Peele is an actor, director, producer and Oscar-winning writer
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LADY GAGA By Celine Dion
I love Lady Gaga, and I think she’s got one of the greatest voices in the world: powerful, convincing, passionate and sensitive.
She’s definitely one of the most inventive artists we’ve ever seen. Her artistic expression has no rules, no boundaries. When she first came on the scene with her outrageous style, she didn’t care what the critics said. She marched to the beat of her own drum, knowing that her message of individuality was a way to express her inner strength. What makes her even more special, and such a powerful influence on society, is that she empowers her fans to adopt the very same values in their lives—to stand up for what they believe in, despite what others might think. By doing so, she gives her followers the strength and confidence to believe in themselves. Whether it’s her unstoppable support for the LGBTQ community, or her anti-bullying campaigning, Lady Gaga’s voice is being heard where it really counts.
Yes, she’s an amazing musician, composer, performer and, as we saw in A Star Is Born,an incredible actress, but her legacy reaches well beyond show business. She will continue to inspire love and freedom around the world, for generations to come.
Dion is a Grammy-winning singer
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GAYLE KING By Ava DuVernay
Gayle King, journalist. More often than not, this isn’t the way we’ve described her. The signifier we most often used was in connection to her personal relationships. We’ve spoken of her in an adjacent manner. We’ve regarded her in the context of others. But when you have the heart of Gayle King, that’s not necessarily a negative thing. You’re just fine not being the most known person in the room. In fact, you’re genuinely happy for the person who is.
What most don’t understand about Gayle is that this perfected proximity to others is a superpower that the best journalists possess. To be present, but not centered. To observe. To bear witness. Gayle has long honed this craft. So the fact that this year she is being lauded as one of the all-time great broadcast interviewers is simply the perfect signifier, a few decades overdue. Luckily for us, we’ve finally decided to regard her in relationship to herself. To see her for the truth seeker that she has always been. Our eyes are now open as we bear witness to her, standing right in front of us, gracefully in the center.
DuVernay is an Oscar-nominated director and producer
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TIGER WOODS By Justin Timberlake
Last year, Tiger Woods and I spent time together, just the two of us, talking about being fathers. We discussed how we want our children to see us and how you balance your dedication to them with competitive drive. I told him about how my son, who just turned 4, has started to realize what I do. We bonded over the fact that we wanted our children to watch us at our best. Tiger told me that he hoped his children, who are 11 and 10, would one day see him win a major.
On April 14 in Augusta, Ga., they did just that when Tiger won his 15th career major—and first in 11 years—capping arguably the greatest comeback in sports history. What a dream come true. For Tiger. For all of us.
Over the past few years, Tiger rehabbed rigorously from all the surgeries, and returned to the top of the game. While pundits doubted he’d ever win again, Tiger’s commitment never wavered. The thing we don’t always appreciate is the patience. Tiger spent countless hours in the gym, and on the golf course, with a singular goal in mind. All the work he did when people weren’t watching allowed him to hug his children on the same hallowed ground he hugged his father 22 years ago, amid all the adulation, a Masters champion once again.
Timberlake is a 10-time Grammy-winning musician
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NINJA By JuJu Smith-Schuster
I play in the NFL, so you’d think I wouldn’t be star-struck much. But last March, when I—along with Drake and Travis Scott—got in a Fortnite game with Ninja for the first time, I was at a complete loss for words! I was among the millions of people all across the world who had been watching Ninja (real name: Tyler Blevins) play Fortnite, the popular video game, every day for months. He was the unquestioned best in the world at his craft, something I had so much respect for both as an athlete and as a fan. Now, he was single-handedly blending gaming and pop culture.
I’ve been a huge video-game fanatic my whole life. But people have seen it as childish and a waste of time. Ninja was huge in building up the credibility of e-sports. At the end of the day, Ninja is an absolute legend, and someone to whom we owe a lot for making gaming what it is today.
Smith-Schuster is a wide receiver for the Pittsburgh Steelers
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HASAN MINHAJ By Trevor Noah
When I first met Hasan Minhaj in 2014, we had just been hired to work together at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. We were both fresh-faced kids trying to find our voice in the fast-paced world of late-night television. Fast-forward five years later, Hasan is still as fresh-faced as ever, but his voice booms across screens around the world, thanks to his groundbreaking Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj.
After hosting the White House Correspondents’ Dinner and releasing his stand-up special Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King in 2017, the opportunity for a late-night show of his own wasn’t just obvious, it was necessary. We’ve needed Hasan’s voice since Donald Trump came down that golden escalator and turned immigrants and Muslims into his targets.
See, Hasan is a first-generation, Indian-American Muslim. But Hasan also loves the NBA, struggles with a “crippling” sneaker habit and speaks fluent hip-hop. Patriot Act is the manifestation of Hasan’s whip-smart commentary, charisma and sincerity. It’s also a consistent reminder that Hasan is America. And America is Hasan.
Noah is the host of The Daily Show
Hasan Minhaj was part of TIME’s 2018 Next Generation Leaders series.
© 2019 TIME USA, LLC. All rights reserved. 
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chez-pezeater · 2 years ago
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TCR Birthday Bash 2019: Day 7- Game Night
So this is probably going to get me either a lot of hate, thrown out of the fandom, or (best case scenario) requests for more. I’m honestly not sure which is worse (worst?) at this point. Either way please enjoy Cards Against Humanity: The Cat Returns Addition. Persephone is a TCR OC that belongs to @tcrmommabear & @sindysugar being used with their permissions.
At this point Hiromi has long since become a frequent visitor to the Bureau after following Haru one day. Meaning Hiromi while not quite as close to the others as Haru is, is still considered a friend.  Also the humans are in their early 20s and knowing my friends and I when we get into the game, potty language. Which really should just be a warning for CAH in general.
Cards Against Humanity (for those that don’t know) is played with two types of cards: Black prompt cards and White (I call them) Reaction cards. A person draws a prompt card and the other players put down their reaction card(s) face down and then replace the number of cards they used. Prompt drawing player flips them over and selects the best reaction card of the round. Best reaction card(s) win the prompt card. Prompt cards use between 1-3 reaction cards.
- - - - - - - - - - -
To be fair, the entire thing was ENTIRELY Hiromi’s fault. Now that’s not to say that Haru didn’t love her best friend, because she did. She also knew EXACTLY what kind of humor Hiromi had. Mix that with a card game who’s box quite literally proclaims it to be “A horrible game for horrible people”. Yeah… It’s all Hiromi’s fault.
Hiromi drew a black prompt card. “’What’s making things awkward in the sauna?’ Ok folks hit me with your best shots.”
Louise puts down a card reading ‘A sales team of clowns and pedophiles.’
Muta chose to use ‘Scrotum tickling.’
Persephone gave it some thought before selecting ‘Cute Boys.’
Baron hesitated before putting down ‘MechaHitler.’
Haru slaps down ‘Full Frontal Nudity.’ with NO HESITATION.
Toto calmly places down ‘Fiery Poops.’
Hiromi reads all the reaction cards before declaring “A sales team of clowns and pedophiles is the winner. Who put that down cuz yeah that would make things awkward?”
Louise raises a hand while smirking. She accepts her prize before drawing a new prompt card, “’Only two things in life are certain: death and (blank).’ Oh my, there are so many ways that could be taken.”
Hiromi slapped down ‘The violation of our most basic human rights.’ as her card.
Muta, thinking of everything that happens regarding any of the groups antics, put down ‘Total fucking chaos.’
Persephone, not having very many good cards, selects ‘The male gaze.’
Baron, knowing how dramatic his sister is, chose ‘Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.’ (winner)
Haru hemmed and hawed before putting down ‘Kamikaze pilots.’
Toto put down ‘Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger’s tired body.’ hoping to get some laughs.
Louise read the cards out loud, cackling in between them, and said “’Dropping a chandelier on your enemies’ wins. So which one of you called me out like this?”
“I did sister dear, after all between the two of us this is exactly the kind of dramatics you would use.” Snorts echoed around the table, implying that Louise wasn’t the only over-the-top-Gikkingen around.
And so the game continued:
R3) Muta- (prompt) Listen, Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you’re going to have to show me (blank).
Hiromi- Being a busy adult with many important things to do
Louise- Deez nuts
Persephone- Exactly what you’d expect
Baron- A constant need for validation
Haru- My worthless son
Toto- Meaningless sex
“Tough call but with how humans are ‘A constant need for validation.’ wins although ‘Meaningless sex.’ was close.” “Drat,” Toto declared while Baron took another card.
R4)Persephone- (prompt) Dear Sir or Madam, We regret in infom you that the Office of (blank) has denied your request for (blank).
Hiromi- Bill Nye the Science Guy & A gassy antelope
Louise- Republicans & Black People
Muta- Blackula & The shambling corpse of Larry King
Baron- Sean Penn & Tripping balls
Haru- AXE Body Spray & Being fabulous
Toto-  Wifely duties & Consensual sex
“Seriously Louise? ‘Wifely duties.’ AND ‘Consensual sex.’ You know that combination wins.” “Sorry Love but that wasn’t mine.” “Nope it was mine.” “Well either way it was well played, well done Toto.”
“Looks like it’s time to pull out the ‘Most Horrible Person of the Night Award’.” “Hiromi, No!” “Hiromi YES!” “Hey! Why does Birdbrain get Doritos?!”
R5) Baron- (prompt) Well if (blank) is a crime, then lock me up!
Hiromi- The boners of the elderly
Louise-  Eating together like a god damn family for once
Muta- The harsh light of day
Persephone- The Boy Scouts of America
Haru- Saying “I Love You”
Toto- The light of a billion suns
“I feel like I’m being called out right now. Who played ‘Saying “I Love You.”?” Baron asked with a very unamused look on his face.
“I did,” Haru replied straightfaced.
“You’re never going to let that go are you?”
“What do you think?”
Baron sighed before handing Haru the prompt card. It was better not to argue with her.
R6) Haru- (prompt) When I was tripping on acid, (blank) turned into  (blank).
Hiromi- Sudden Poop Explosion Disease & Used panties
Louise- The economy & The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts
Muta- Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor & Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels (winner)
Persephone- Crazy opium eyes & Treasure beyond your wildest dreams
Baron- Natalie Portman & Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night
Toto- A Ugandan warlord & Former President George W. Bush
“Really Muta? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: That’s disgusting.” “So are some of these reaction cards.”
R7) Toto- (prompt) Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to (blank)
Hiromi- All my friends dying (winner)
Louise- Syphilitic insanity
Muta- How awesome it is to be white
Persephone- Indescribable loneliness
Baron- The Pope
Haru- The eighth graders
“Toto pass Hiromi the bag. Hiromi you’re terrible.” Hiromi just giggles naughtily.
R8) Hiromi- (prompt) (Blank): Brought to you by (blank).
Louise- Homeless people & Rich people
Muta- Mouth herpes & Going down on a woman, discovering that her vagina is filled with eyeballs, and being totally into that
Persephone- Santa Claus & Being rich
Baron- Shutting the fuck up & The Rev. Dr. Marin Luther King, Jr.
Haru- Getting caught by the police and going to jail & Going around punching people(winner)
Toto- Running out of semen & A mine having a stroke
“Sound about right.” “Oh and how would you know Turkey Leg? You don’t have any fists!” “Wouldn’t you like to know fatso.”
R9) Louise- (prompt) (Blank). Betcha can’t have just one!
Hiromi- Heartwarming orphans
Muta- Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis
Persephone- Gwyneth Paltrow’s opinions
Baron- A sad handjob (winner)
Haru- Horrifying laser hair removal accidents
Toto- Emotions
“Is there something you want to confess brother dear?” “Not to you sister dear.”
R10) Muta- (prompt) This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of (blank).
Hiromi- My dad’s dumb fucking face
Louise- Cancer
Persephone- Lunchables TM (winner)
Baron- YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
Haru- The Hamburglar
Toto- Statistically validated stereotypes
“What? I’m hungry!”
R11) Persephone- (prompt) We never did find (blank), but along the way we sure learned a lot about (blank)
Hiromi- Blowjobs for everyone & Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum (Hiromi)
Louise- What Jesus would do & The South
Muta- The white half of Barack Obama & A black-owned and operated business
Baron- God & A chimpanzee in sunglasses fucking your wife
Haru- Jobs & Western standards of beauty
Toto- Important news about Taylor Swift & Starting a shitty podcast
“HIROMI!” “AHH SAVE ME SOMEBODY!” (This was not the first time Hiromi used Pac-Man against Haru. Nor would it be the last.)
R12) Baron- In return for my soul, the Devil promised me (blank), but all I got was (blank).
Hiromi- Jesus & White people
Louise- Third base & Being fat and stupid
Muta- A subscription to Men’s Fitness & Pooping back and forth. Forever.
Persephone- Some shit-hot guitar licks & An ass disaster
Haru- Interspecies marriage & Necrophilia (winner)
Toto- The Blood of Christ & Adderall TM
“Guilty conscious Haru?” “I’M NOT A FURRY DAMNIT!”
R13) Haru- (prompt) You won’t believe what’s in my pussy. It’s (blank).
Hiromi- Daddy issues
Louise- The power of the Dark Side (winner)
Muta- A salty surprise
Persephone- Old-people smell
Baron- My collection of high-tech sex toys
Toto- How wet my pussy is.
“I hate you all.”
R14) Toto- (prompt) Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me (blank)
Hiromi- The mere concept of Applebees TM
Louise- Sexual peeing
Muta- Authentic Mexican cuisine
Persephone- An asymmetric boob job (winner)
Baron- Helplessly gigling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis
Haru- Switching to Geico®
R15) Hiromi- (prompt) (Blank) is a slippery slope that leads to (blank).
Louise- Blackface & Ripping open a man’s chest and pulling out his still-beating heart
Muta- Court-ordered rehab & Words, words, words.
Persephone- Same-sex ice dancing & Butt stuff
Baron- Establishing dominance & Stockholm Syndrome (winner)
Haru- Overpowering your father & Darth Vader
Toto- Copping a feel & A boo-boo
“Damn Baron, what are you into?” “I’m not! Why are you handing me these?” “Because you made shit go real dark, real quick boyo.”
R16) Louise- (prompt) My gym teacher got fired for adding (blank) to the obstacle course.
Hiromi- Walking into a glass door
Muta- Sperm whales
Persephone- Peeing a little bit
Baron- A face full of horse cum
Haru- Meatloaf, the man.
Toto- Warm, velvety muppet sex (winner)
“I think I need to give these back to you Toto.” “No no, you can still keep them.�� (Cue unhappy Baron face.)
R17) Muta- What gets better with age?
Hiromi- Crippling debt
Louise- A Super Soaker TM full of cat pee (winner)
Persephone- Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
Baron- Yeast
Haru- The placenta
Toto- Nothing
“At least no one played ‘My genitals.’ this time.” “That can still change Haru~.”
R18) Persephone- (prompt) In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninja while also dealing with (blank).
Hiromi- Not having sex
Louise- Aaron Burr
Muta- Mixing M&Ms and Skittle like some kind of psychopath
Baron- The dentist
Haru- Samuel L. Jackson (winner)
Toto- Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri
“To be fair, Ryan Renolds had a hard time dealing with Samuel L. Jackson in ‘The Hitman’s Bodyguard.’” “Still funny.”
R19) Baron- (prompt) Today on Maury: “Help! My son is (blank)!”
Hiromi- A woman
Louise- A monkey smoking a cigar (winner)
Muta- Teaching a robot to love
Persephone- Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere
Haru- Such a big boy
Toto- Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding
“What is ‘Maury’?” “An American TV show that mostly deals with people deliberately exposing themselves to lie detectors and paternity tests because they can’t stay in their lanes and be decent human beings.”
R20) Haru- (prompt) Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of (blank), and I will not tolerate (blank)!Hiromi- Sunshine and rainbows & Incest
Louise- The profoundly handicapped & Throwing a virgin into a volcano
Muta- Sweet, sweet vengeance & Cheating in the Special Olympics
Persephone- Finger painting & The hiccups
Baron- Erectile dysfunction & Having a penis (winner) (game end)
Toto- Nickleback & Licking things to claim them as your own.
“That’s it, game over, Baron wins, Good night.” “Oh c’mon Haru.” “Nope! Can’t do it! Good night!”
- - - - - - - -
‘Most Horrible Person of the Night Award’ is an inside joke among my circle of RL friends that typically ends up being a bag of Doritos.
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thefanficmonster · a year ago
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Nervous
Corpse Husband x reader (female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: Fluff
Summary: After being offered to play Among Us on-stream with a bunch of people, Corpse is feeling nervous that he wouldn’t be able to play to his maximum potential because he gets anxious playing with and in front of people. Reader gives him a test round to prove to him there’s nothing to worry about.
Requested: No
“Hi!“ Y/N immediately answered the phone when she saw the caller ID, a big smile spreading across her face.
“Hey.“ The familiar, deep, soothing voice that gave her oh so many butterflies replied from the other end, sounding a bit off. “I’m low-key freaking out right now.“
The smile on Y/N’s face falters as she flips to protective and worried mode in less than a second, furrowing her eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”
“You know Sean? I mean, Jacksepticeye.“ That was a pretty dumb question, considering he knew she watched him religiously and was among his biggest fans. That’s why he didn’t wait for her to answer before continuing, “Well, he invited me to play Among Us on stream with him and several other youtubers. And PewDiePie. The world’s number one gamer. I’m losing my shit right now.“
Y/N couldn’t help but laugh a little, despite trying to suppress it. She was honestly so proud of him. Her best friend playing a video game with her favorite youtubers, it sounded almost too unreal. However, she had no time to dwell on that, considering her friend was probably pissing his pants with nervousness. “Sit tight, Corpse. I’ll be over in no time.”
* * *
And that’s how they found themselves in this position. Y/N and Corpse are sitting on opposite ends of the couch in his recording room, feet stretched out to meet in the middle with their laptops resting on their laps, eyes fixated on their screens.
“You’re a massive hoarder.“ Corpse comments, giving the army of stuffed animals on the floor in front of the couch a suspicious look.
Y/N looks up from her computer, “A sentimentalist.” she corrects him, “Besides, they’re the only practice audience I could find for you, so you have no room to judge.”
Corpse snickers quietly, deciding not to vocalize the immense appreciation he has for for the gesture. Around fifteen minutes after Y/N hung up his SOS call, she showed up at his front door, laptop in one hand and a black trash bag in the other. In the black trash bag - you guessed it - were a ton of stuffed animals she took with her when she moved out of her parents’ house. As she said, she’s a sentimentalist.
“They’re making me nervous in a whole different way.“ He murmurs, staring one stuffed duck dead in its soulless eyes.
“Quit stalling, I found a server. ‘Classicsimp’, join while there’s still empty spots.“
“Alright, alright.“
And with that the two of them enter the lobby only a second before the countdown begins. Complete silence falls upon the room when the little red astronaut tells them to shush, the screen following giving them their respective roles.
Y/N’s cyan astronaut immediately starts heading down to admin to do the card swipe, her almost letting a smile slip when she remembers what a tough time Corpse had with that task when they were playing together last time. She takes a quick look through her list of five tasks and cringes a bit when she sees two tasks in electrical. She knows that’s a danger zone like no other. The other two tasks are in shields and O2, so she goes to do them before walking to what se considers her demise. While heading to the right side of the map, she loses Corpse and the majority of the players, just two of them sticking with her. The two little avatars following her are doing their tasks properly so she feel safe doing hers with them near by. As she and the pink avatar are waiting for the orange one to complete a task in navigation, a dead body is reported.
She opens the chat box where the white avatar says they found the body of the dark green player in the reactor. Y/N rolls her eyes, knowing that the reactor is a pretty dangerous place as well, with the hell of a long task and all. 
No one is sused so they skip the vote, pushing onwards. After a brief stop in security, where she sees Corpse doing the long task in reactor, she bites the bullet and heads down to electrical. While connecting the wires, the vent pops open next to her, the black avatar coming out and killing her before once again going in the vent.
She’s not surprised, but she’s pissed. She looks up at the smirking face of her best friend who pretends to be focused on the game, despite the growing urge to laugh.
“I thought we were in this together, you traitor.“ She narrows her eyes at him with pretend anger.
“We were...“ he trails off, “until our roles suggested otherwise.“
In the end, the impostors win, which comes as no surprise considering one of them is the most badass impostor of all times - Corpse.
“See, there’s nothing to be worried about.“ She finally smiles at him once they both exit the game.
He shakes his head slightly, accidentally catching a glimpse of their ‘audience’. “Shit, I forgot they were there.”
“You’ll do that with the real ones as well, at least for the first few streams.“
With his head held low, he raises his gaze, looking her in the eyes with much struggle, “I think that’s because I was playing with you.”
She scoffs, not picking up on his actual message, “Oh, you were that focused on killing me?”
“Nope.“ He smiles shyly, “Just focused on you.“
And there are all those butterflies again. What am I saying - ‘again’? As though they ever left her alone when she was in his presence. She made up the wildest excuses to not let herself believe she might actually be living the cliche of crushing on her best friend. But, now she had to come to terms with it.
“I’ll have to repay you for this.“ He tells her, “How about dinner?“
“You mean takeout?“ she asks, as clueless as ever.
“Yeah, I’ll take you out to dinner. If you’re up for it, of course“
Her heart skipped like ten beats at that sentence, her cheeks turning red. She can feel the butterflies raving in her stomach, “How could I not be? But, seeing as how I’m in an oversized hoodie and my pajama pants, we’ll have to postpone that dinner. And I’m really hungry, so for tonight we can settle for take out.” She hurries to explain, “We’ll go on a proper date when you give me the chance to actually dress up.”
He can’t help but smirk, “So you’re calling it a date, huh?”
A cocky smile plays on her lips, “I’m just saying what you were trying to.”
“Touche.“
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winstonhcomedy · 3 years ago
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“Dope A-F” - 4/25-4/30- “Host Battle Shuts It Down”
Let’s jump right in. I need to get caught up because I am a sassy man! So let’s start with a raucous time at Pro Re Nata!
4/25
I got to do Host Battle as an open mic for one last time before we shut it down. Chris and I are both moving and neither of us really want to do the show without the other. I get to Crozet and write for a while at Pro Re Nata. A few other comics eventually show up, and we get a good hang going. JR who usually runs the show talks about what the night was going to be like. We all order some food and wait for the audience to show up. It is a rainy night and it is going to be a light crowd. Which is ok. This show rules when it is packed, but it is at least entertaining no matter what.
We have a pretty fun list. There are some people who are veterans, and some newbies to Host Battle. JR goes up and gets us started by introducing the show, and we hop right into it. Right away we had an annoying lady in the front. Who asked how raunchy it was going to be, and then Chris let her know. It was going to be an insane show.
Up first was David McCallie. His set didn’t go great, but we got a few good lines. He seemed pissed that he went first, but someone had to switch and he was the one. Paige Campbell had a pretty good set with a few good lines. A dude ran in and a dog barked at him, and Paige said, “that dog hates pedophiles.” This got a pretty good laugh.
JR went up and just listed off the grossest things he had ever done. IT was one of the nastiest things I had ever heard. I almost vomited on stage. People were dry heaving and it was so much fun.
John Marg had a pretty good set and Heather Kilburn talked about hypothetically murdering her child so that was fun. Each set had at least a few good lines and the audience that was there seemed to enjoy it.
Sam Padgett had a wild story about a gay hypnotist that made me laugh harder than I had laughed in a really long time. We had a good running gag about Charles Bill being a serial killer, and Sean Wells had a good set (he is new but trying). We had some great riffs about him being a psychologist. He got me really good when I said I was getting anxiety, and he just started listing off the different types of anxiety. It got a big laugh.
We didn’t have a huge list, and everybody all did pretty well. It was one of my favorite nights of comedy in a while. It was tough and not everything was working. It was uncomfortable, but it was definitely funny. I’d give the show a C.
The next morning JR messaged Chris and I and said that Pro Re Nata had cancelled comedy effective immediately. They said this last show was too offensive (even though the people there definitely enjoyed it). They also said they hadn’t been getting consistent audience or returns. I feel like they needed a scapegoat and we were it. That’s ok it was a fun show and JR wasn’t upset. The last Host Battle open mic shutting down a room is a memory I will have forever.
4/26
The next night I was booked at Southern Eats in Norfolk. Jose Roman runs that show and he booked me to do 15 to 20. I had never been there before so I was super stoked to see how it was going to go.
I get to the show and the venue is like a restaurant/coffee/cigar bar. It has a dope vibe, and I am hopeful people are going to show up. Jose is there and we talk a bit. I then go and see/meet the other comics. Bobby Stephens, Mindy Ess, Ian Nightengale, and a couple other guys I don’t know at all are on the show. Everyone is nice to talk to, but we are all ready for the show to get started.
It is raining a lot. So much so that the Something In The Water music festival at the VB waterfront was cancelled for its first day. We sit around for like 30 minutes past showtime to get people in there and finally we get started .It is an ok sized crowd. Maybe 12 people, some are pretty wasted and loud. They aren’t being mean, but they are definitely disrupting the show.
Jose does a few minutes then brings up the first comic who does ok. Then the next dude goes up and has a few laughs, but the audience is being pretty rowdy. The dude after him is named Drew and he goes up and is a little edgier. You can tell all of these dudes are pretty new to comedy. Which is fine, but it means they haven’t done a lot of rooms like this so they might not be as prepared to handle it. He has a joke about where do you put your dick when having sex with a gay dude with a colostomy bag.
Michael Ridley then shows up. He is going to be going last. We talk a bit and then I get ready because I am up soon. The new dude Ian goes up and they are not into his shit at all. They just aren’t vibing and it’s tough to watch. I am not hopeful for my set, but I decide that I’m just going to have fun.
I go up and get right into it. I go into crowd work because it is this one lady’s birthday. I get some big laughs about where she met her wife (on craigslist). The drunkest chick (who also works there) sits down and already hates me. She is heckling and being rude. Apparently there was a military band festival going on. She told me I should be proud and I was like why should I be proud of the bands.
She then went off and got upset (I thought it was a festival of bands for military vets). I bust her balls and get some huge laughs and eventually win her over. I continue the crowd work shitting on her and riffing on the show for about 15 minutes before I close out with a few jokes. I got some huge pops and had the hottest set. Which felt good to go on the road and be able to put my rowdy room chops to the test. I’d give this set a B.
I went outside after this and ended up getting in a discussion with a comic outside the show. He talks about trying to trigger me and bring my Richmond out, and I bust his balls back asking about if “Richmond means successful”. He kind of came for me pretty hard to start. I think because there is a lot of weird comedy drama going on down there that I don’t participate in. It cools down a bit and ends up being fine, but it definitely was some weird tension there. Not a big deal, but I also felt like it was a weird flex the way it happened. It felt like the kind of thing he had been waiting to say to a comic from Richmond since the scene up here for the most part is PC and full of SJWs (which I am not at all), but I know my value and worth and I wasn’t going to just take it.
I went back in to watch a couple more sets and before I left I talked with this comic again about the way I operate business. Why I choose to associate who I associate with, and how I am not public about it nor do I drag anyones name through the mud. If there is someone I don’t mess with on a show I don't want to hurt my brand or reputation by being on that show. I’ll never ask anyone to get bumped off a show for me, but I just quietly explain why I can’t do the show and tell them to keep me in mind for next time. It was a good respectful conversation that didn’t involve any of the tension of the earlier one. We disagreed on certain things, but it ended up being a good conversation and I left feeling good about it and hope they did too.
After this I grabbed my stuff and headed out. I had got to say my peace, have a hot ass set, and it just reaffirmed how long I have come from when I started.
4/28
I had Saturday off so I didn’t get to perform until Sunday. I only got to do one set on Sunday, but I was very excited for it. I was going to be doing a spot at Tasty’s on Southside. I have done this mic once and it was fun but the PA sucked.
The host is a dude named Carsen Young and he had been complaining online that not a ton of comics had been coming out. I get there and I am the only comic there about 30 minutes before showtime. It is a nice crowd for an open mic. There is about 15 people there and it is pretty diverse. It is about half black and half white, but it is almost an entirely gay crowd which is dope. I had a joke about Gay Conversation Therapy I had been dying to do in front of a bunch of gay people to make sure it wasn’t offensive.
Carson and I shoot the shit and have a pretty fun conversation. He is a super nice guy, and I wish this mic was more often because I have enjoyed it both times. By the time the show starts the only comics there are myself, a new girl, and Remo.
The new girl goes up first and has an ok set. There is a table of gay black guys, and one in particular is a hell of a heckler. He isn’t being mean, but he is being sassy and has something funny to say after everything. She does well and people like her.
I go up next and do about ten minutes. I go right into the sassy dude and say he looks like Tiger Woods gay uncle. This makes all of his friend’s laugh and I really start giving it to him. They call him Tiger the rest of the night, and he is attentive. We joke around and they all love my material. I got a huge pop on Gay Conversion Therapy and I finally feel like that joke is about 90% done. It feels good. I’d give this set a solid B.
I get off stage and head home. I get some food from En Su Boca and watch the newest episode of Game of Thrones (even though I haven’t seen any of them). It was a huge battle and I enjoyed it. Then I passed out. I was ready for a hopefully fun week.
4/29
The next night I was at The Southern in Charlottesville. I had a few friends that were coming out and I was really dying to try some new material. I got to the show early and was in a really good mood. I got to joke around with the staff, and the gm. After a while a few of my friends showed up like Heather, Paige, and some others.
Colby Knight shows dup with a new girl named Harley. She was there to watch but I had overheard her mention to Colby she wanted to try it one day. So I took it upon myself to tell her she was performing that night. I signed her up and told her it was either perform or she could leave. She seemed nervous, but she agreed to do it.
Chris got there about an hour early and joined in on the hang. Padgett, Abdulla, Luzader, Keaton, Berthelsen, JR, McCallie, Marg, and some new faces. It was a fun and exciting hang. Kenn also showed up but something came up and he had to dip out early before performing.
The best part was Brett Leake was there. Brett is a great comic and a better person. He asked me about JFL and my writing process. We talked about this blog, and just all things comedy. He had so many encouraging words to say to me and we talked about 15 minutes. He is one of the nicest and most genuine humans I have ever met. He is a clean comic, and his observational stuff is simple and elegant. I won’t go too into detail about what we talked about, but needless to say it was a great time.
We have a nice little crowd and both of my friends came. Chris has the comic’s meeting and we decide to piggyback the show. I am up fifth. I am after JR, and before Harley.
The show starts and Chris goes up and does about 15 minutes trying to warm people up. They are into it, but it takes him a while. He does crowd work, but also tries some new jokes. He then brings up Brett and he has a good set. A few more comics go and then I get brought up.
I have a very productive set. I get some big laughs, and try a brand new joke that I riffed talking to Chris. I wasn’t going to do it on stage, but he told me to and it worked really well. I am excited about how it turned out. The rest of my set went well and I’d give it a B.  I then bring up Harley and she has a good first set. It is pretty neat to be the reason someone gets on stage for the first time. Being that push for a person is dope.
I hung around a bit longer and filmed a quick vid for IG. I’ve been doing this thing Called #IsComedyHappening? where I ask someone is comedy happening and then I film myself running to the show. It is dumb, but fun.
I stick around and watch Paige’s set, and he works his tail off. People have left by the time he is up but he powers through and does new material. I’m proud of him. It was all and all a solid set.
I grab why stuff and head home. I am exhausted and need a good nights rest for the next day at work!
4/30
This was going to be a chill night. As far as I knew there was only going to be the one mic at City Dogs in Shockoe Slip, and I had asked host Ben Braman if I could go super early.
I get to the show at 7:30 because. I got to see Nate Izquierdo and Rachel Murphy for a bit since they were hanging with Braman. The show didn’t start until nine and there was another mic 5 minutes away. So my buddy Bryan Williams and I ubered over there first.
We get there and it is like 7:45. There is a few comics there but absolutely no audience. It is all newer comics and I have super new stuff to work out so I am ok with it. The host of the show is the bartender and he is a super cool dude.
He asks who wants to start the show so I say I do and I go for it. I do about 10 minutes and get some solid laughs. My R. Kelly joke hit super hard, so I know that once I get the wording right this will be a really good joke. I do some more new and It goes super well. For this room I give it a solid B+ set. I then bring Bryan up and he tries some new stuff, and works out some of his old. He has a fine set as well. We dip out and I get the uber back to City Dogs.
We get there and Ryan Mather, and Jason Kusterer had showed up. Kate Carroll was also there, and then Stella Naulo popped in. We all talked comedy for a bit. Aaron Shoemaker came in after that. Stella, Bryan, and I talked about the value of comedy classes, or books. It was a good talk, and I definitely enjoyed it.
I went up first and it was a rougher set. People were not really paying attention during Braman’s set and they continued it during mine. I had to work really hard to get their attention,. Some of the jokes worked, and some didn’t. A couple hit really hard at the end and by the time I was done people were at least laughing and paying attention. It was productive and I’d give this set a B-
I got Kusterer to do the #IsComedyHappening? bit with me and it turned out amazing. I loved it so much! I ‘m going to keep doing it every night! After kusterer’s set I hung out with my friends a bit and headed out. As I was leaving Jarvis showed up and I said goodbye.  I met a homeless dude named Clinton and talked to him for about 15 minutes before finally getting in my car and getting out of there. I had a few shows the next night and I was ready for them.
So that’s it laydees! We are caught up again. I love comedy and I love this blog. I love you baybees so much! xoxoxo I have some fun shows coming up and can’t wait to write about them for you. Thanks for checking in and I’ll see y’all soon!
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nat-der-kunstler · 3 years ago
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my friends and i skyped DSOD in the middle of the night to celebrate my birthday and here are some out of context quotes
I’d like to clarify that my friends don’t know ANYTHING about yugioh. They only know some basic names and everything about ryou bakura. But that’s only bc I can never shut up about bakura. I only started writing things down consistently like halfway through so whoops. 
“Oh wow Nat are you a part of that fangirl brigade” “yeah, i’m bakura fangirl kin, you got me.” “oh wow, blue hair I wonder who’s important” “Could you imagine sitting at your desk and suddenly you look over and there are five assholes staring at you from the front of the class.”
(So I stopped writing them down for a while at this point and picked it up again around the part where joey’s being consumed by the plana-verse or whatever) “Just throw a dab joey” “DO ONE LAST COOL THING BEFORE YOU GET CONSUMED BY THE VOID JOEY” “throw the plana oFF A BUILDING. that’ll test its strength.” “Kaiba!! KAIBA!!!” “Who the FUCK is kaiba” “This giant pile of garbage that I adore” “I don’t understand why he’s dressed like that.” “Kaiba could just stomp on yugi and kill him and he refuses to do this” “Mockumaba” (Intermission because it hit 12 AM and they wanted to sing me happy birthday. We did and then I made them join me in singing happy birthday to bakura.) “Get out the way yugi” “Beep beep BITCH” “Wouldn’t it be funny if Kaiba just left him in the middle of the road and he can’t go to the tournament because he’s dead” “Kaiba’d still make him duel in a hospital bed” “No he’d dump yugi’s corpse into the stadium” “Yugi’s corpse would still win tho” “Why is this 14 year old working for the company” “Oh bro. he’s the vice president” *BOTH MY FRIENDS BURST INTO SUDDEN LAUGHTER* “Yes Diva, you’ve forgotten what you are...a bitch” - My friend mimicking sera “Lemme d-d-d-d-duel ya ass” “Oh damn he sent an entire stadium into the void” “Could you imagine being at home and watching this on TV and all of a sudden everything’s red” ”Why’s there a fuchsia filter on my TV” “Take a shot every time someone says vijam” “Diva is the only person that says vijam” “STOP TRYING TO MAKE VIJAM HAPPEN DIVA” “What the hell are they doing? Why is it all card games? I just need someone to be like: I summon. My glock.” “Don’t you mean you dimension summon ur glock” “Yeah, it attacks ur lifepoints directly bitch” (At one point my friend just started repeating everything Diva said in a mocking voice.) (one of my friends disappears for a while and my other friend  and I are concerned and when she comes back she says) “Yeah no, Diva showed up into my room and sent my ass to the shadow realm” “Straight into the void motherfucker” “Oh you had a tough childhood? So did I. I just dealt with it through my crippling depression, get over yourself” “Sera is the worst anime waifu ever” “Yugi shreked his ass in TWO TURNS” “Sure didn’t fucking FEEL like two turns” “c-carl. CARL COME BACK THE TV’S FIXED IT’S NOT PINK ANYMORE” “oh my god GUYS I just remembered it’s bakura’s birthday today!!” “Nat. It’s your birthday. That’s why we’re watching this” “I suMMON MARSHMALLOW BUTTPLUG AND PUT DOWN TWO CARDS” “Blue eyes white dragon? That’s racist” “Kaiba has dragons and Yugi decided to bring sentient beauty blenders” “Dark Magician just DODGE HIS ATTACK” “This isn’t pokemon sean” “oh my god yugi haS A SQUAD OF LESBIANS” “Kaiba has belts wrapped around his arms and that’s why he deserves nothing but death” “I wanna give a shoutout to my sister sera for being absolutely FUCKING USELESS” “Is anyone going to call the police” “There’s police?” “Why do they have to duel this monster they could just go up and slap it.” “Fine sean. YOU go up there and slap it” “Yugi’s short enough to jump and knee it in the box crotch” “My strategy as a duelist would be to distract my opponents and then beat their ass” “Someone tried that and yugi sent his ass to the shadow realm so quick” “Man it’d be worth it tho” “Everyone. Shhhhhhh. Kaiba’s about to do the first good thing in his life” “Finally.” “Oh that’s really gay” “Oh he’s a flaming homo” “I cannot believe yugi just summoned a club penguin puffle and murdered it.” “That is kuRIBOH” “Puffle.” “Which yugi is this” “Goth hot topic yugi” “I know. They’re both goth hot topic yugi” “Why is he ripped he has NO REASON to be this ripped” “So Yugioh-” “U know his name is Yugi right sean?” “The show’s called yugioh so his NAME is yugioh” “It’s yugi-OH because yugi is always surprising us” “Oh shit yugi’s two yugi’s now. mitosis.” “Who are you.” “I’m you if I went to planet fitness” “No no NO, I’m you, but you shop at hot topic and I shop at spencers” “Great now they have to go back to begging because diva’s stupid ass lost the plana” “Sera’s plan is probably just to ask yugi for money but be super vague about it and then just stand around ” “Oh by the way sean. Kaiba’s got a giant space station” *deep sigh* “Mokuba’s a better sibling than kaiba deserves” “DID HE JUST SHOW UP TO 800 BC. TO JUST. FOR ALL THIS EFFORT HE BETTER JUST BE PHYSICALLY KICKING THE PHARAOH’S ASS. KAIBA HAS THE HIGHER GROUND. LITERALLY” “Maria, where did sean go?” “Um he just texted “I can’t with this fucking petty bullshit. it’s like being back in high school but so much worse” in the group chat and now his phone is off.” “mood.”
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