#THEY HAVENT EVEN POSTED SINCE 2017 I WANT IT

[i-sveikata]

I've been reading various fanfics dealing with the series for a year now. Endless variations of Vegas and Pete, Kim and Chay... One shots, novels, longer stories. I feel like almost everything has been said and thought about. The fleshing out of the canon, the back story, the childhood and what might come after.

I developed a real addiction and couldn't get enough, especially of the complex relationship between Vegas and Pete and their respective very multi-faceted characters. The number of authors is huge, but I also spent a lot of time reading them. To my dismay, I am noticing signs of fatigue in me.

Now that everything seems to have been said, every possible happy or tragic ending seems to have been thought out and told, many fics veer off into alternative universes and genres.

It's all wonderful to read and I'm grateful that there are so many unknown but worthwhile authors whose work will never be printed but who are worthy of a large readership.

But: Since fanfiction is tied to concrete people and concrete, and to a readership that has seen the series. How do you see the future? The actors will take on new roles, if all goes well, new beautiful plots will be developed there too and good series or films will be made.

How long can the hype around KinnPorsch and the series continue? Do you have the feeling that everything is coming to an end, now that the anniversary of KP is being celebrated in a big way? Is boredom creeping up on you or is the end not yet in sight and is there still a lot that needs to be written? I have also asked this question to other writers because it really bothers me, but I would be interested in YOUR answer.

Hi there!! hmm interesting question and I don't really want to discount how youre feeling or anything but i do very much doubt that everything that could be possibly said and thought about for this fandom has been done already.

because this show isn't really that old? and the age of the show or when it finished really has no bearing on the existing fandom if you think about it. at a certain point fandom breaks away and becomes its own separate entity.

like i wouldnt say im an expert but the things that keep fandom alive are not really even directly related to whether there's new episodes or video clips or content about the actors from the show that the fans can consume.

take teen wolf for example (because its a fandom ive been in the longest) that show ended in 2017 and literally as of now when i've just checked it on ao3 it has 106,344 works written for it. A show that started in 2011 and finished six years ago. And people are still posting stories for it today! (i myself still have some WIPs which i eventually intend to finish off and share) ignoring the fact that there was a teen wolf movie recently that hardly anyone in the fandom watched it's still inspiring fic, and fanart even now six years later.

and why is that? because there's no time limit on a fandom, it's because of the fans creating things like fanart, fanfic, playlists, gifs, meta analysis, tumblr posts, twitter posts, fandom discords etc. because having a constantly running tv show or a movie or book doesn't keep a fandom alive. fans do.

to compare right now, the works i can see in kinnporsche tv series tag in ao3 havent even topped 10,000 yet. like seriously let that sink in. 106,344 fics to 9,556. like im not really trying to compare right now but its just to give you some idea that KP in particular is really just starting out, like we are literally dealing with a baby fandom here so i wouldnt despair just yet that people have already run out of ideas or that its already finished because if you have dedicated fans behind you you can end up with literally over one hundred thousand stories to read about that fandom. and tbh teen wolf isn't even the biggest fandom out there!!

And if you are feeling fatigue with the KP fandom right now then of course i would recommend stepping away from it for a while in order to give yourself a break. because at the end of the day it is totally up to you to customise your own experience.

im not really sure why it matters whether authors writing for this fandom will be published or not? im mean they literally cant legally publish fandom works? or profit off it? not without sanding the story down to repurpose it for entirely new characters. but you can always save or download copies of your favourite KP fic and if you are interested in a physical copy you could always get these bound into a book yourself (with permission from the fic authors of course).

im also a little hesitant to address the comment about 'worthwhile authors being worthy of a large readership' because it kind of discounts all of the other authors who are putting their time and effort into posting stories and might not be getting the same level of comments or kudos or attention as others. like the whole point of keeping a fandom alive is to interact with all of it and if you want to encourage more content than that means dealing with the fandom at a community level. (im not talking about the dont like/dont read elements of fandom obviously the rule of thumb there is to just click out)

But i personally really dont like the idea of setting some authors above the rest because their stories might have gotten more attention or traction within a fandom. it's meant to be a community. not a hierarchy. nobody should be on a pedestal in fandom. and i would hesitate to put any number of people above anyone else for this reason. like we really all are just people being inspired by the things we watch and experience. and by suggesting that some authors might be 'worthy' it also implies that others are not, which kind of goes against the spirit of fandom imo and can be really discouraging for people creating art or fic that might not be getting as much likes, reblogs, kudos, comments etc compared to others.

I also just want to point out that a lot of people come into fandoms without having ever watched the specific content that the fandom might be about? its actually a very common thing and they still read and engage with the fandom anyway in spite of this? so its really not tied to specific people or a readership that has watched the series.

At the end of the day i really don't think hype is what keeps a fandom alive, it's the dedicated people within that community who like and share and comment and talk to each other about the stories they love.

personally im not at all bored with this fandom (and tbh im still not bored with teen wolf lol) so i hope you aren't discouraged by the idea that a fandom simply will fall apart without its tv show because i absolutely can reassure you that it wont!

and also, taking time from a fandom can also mean that when you are ready to come back there's always the possibility of falling in love all over again. so really dont let the fatigue bother you! just because your love might be waning for the show doesn't mean that others are feeling the same way! there's always plenty more for people to share and enjoy and talk about so its not really over.

tbh fandoms dont ever really finish or disappear completely anyway. like at the end of the day you have platforms like ao3 where peoples works are archived for all time and tumblr where hints of fandom will always still roam about in reblog land. that kind of love doesn't just vanish!

welp this was a long response lol but i hope it helped in some way!

#on fandom #kinnporsche the series #teen wolf

[fagdykemuppet]

ok i havent done it Yet but i plan on compiling a bunch of ben pics and loading them all in the queue to be a once a day thing. but until then id like to make a little introduction to our dear ben christo/the face behind our beloved ifrit ghoul! mainly because i already wrote something up somewhere else and i'd figure it'd be easy to just translate it all to one big tumblr post instead of doing school work. (update: it was fucking not) note: i have not listened to everything that he's ever done (and actually not a lot of this stuff) and i will miss some stuff but it's a start. if anyone wants to give stuff to put on this post i'd be more than happy to include it + i may update it as i learn more. ok cut incoming. warning for talk about unmasked ghouls if that's not your thing i guess. but also why are you here if its not.

okay so as we all know, ben christo is the face behind our beloved ifrit ghoul! but for those that don't: he played the touring lead guitarist for the band ghost in 2017! but this is all fairly surface level stuff, and i will not be going into much detail, if you want to look into it more just look at ritual footage from 2017. and if you're somehow not here from the ghost side of things hi. i'm sorry this is probably confusing, just ignore it. or dont and get into ghost bc ben played a ghoul in 2017. your choice

but with that out of the way, onto the real reason im making this post!

to get them out of the way, here are some links. (website, insta, twitter, facebook, linktree, youtube, spotify playlist, spotify profile, apple music)

so for some basic info that everyone that knows anything about ben will know: he is the guitarist for sisters of mercy. i don't personally listen to this band, but i do know that another one of the ghouls, the face behind aether, chris catalyst, was also a guitarist for the band. ben has been the guitarist since 2006, and also i think backing vocals. (links: spotify, facebook, twitter, website, (this thing is so fucking outdated but im putting it here for comprehensiveness), apple music, amazon music)

diamond black: this one is a band i do listen to, he is one of the founding members, the lead vocalist and guitarist! used to just be on guitar, but the lead singer (jaakko turunen) recently stepped down and now ben is fronting it. this band also includes another ghoul! jan-vincent velazco (aka vinnie) was the earth right before mountain/hayden scott, and is the drummer for diamond black! they've been around since 2017. and, fun fact, at the time of writing this post they're going on tour in a month with esprit d'air (which vinnie is also the touring drummer for. doing double time). go get tickets if youre in the uk area!! gogogo!!! theyre cheap, only ~£25!!! (links: spotify, website, insta, facebook, twitter, apple music, youtube, buy on amazon music)

speaking of esprit d'air: did you know ben did a collab with them? yep! dead zone off of oceans! (other links: lyric video, buy digitally, buy on bandcamp, buy on amazon music, listen on apple music)

next up is his work on raymond watt's PIG. from 2018-2019 he was a member of the band, going on tour (along side vinnie who was on drums) and even doing some riffs on the album risen (and the ep prey & obey). i haven't listened to these in particular, but i do like some of raymond's other work. (prey & obey: spotify bandcamp amazon apple, risen: spotify, buy it on bandcamp, buy it from metropolis records, buy on amazon, listen on apple music)

AKO (pronounced A-K-O. dont make the mistake i did and pronounce it as a word): i listen to this one. i don't know a lot about it, though. from what i've read it was formed in 1998 and disbanded 2005, reuniting briefly in 2010. (links: spotify, bandcamp, listen on apple music x, buy on amazon music x)

night by night: i know nothing about this band other than what i've read. it was founded by ben in 2008 and he plays lead guitar and does backing vocals! also i think vinnie mentioned being in the band at some point but i honestly cannot remember. (links: spotify, twitter, apple music, amazon, facebook, youtube. they used to have a website but i cannot for the life of me find if its still up bc all the links im finding are dead)

last thing ill be mentioning here is his work on lord of the lost's 2021 album judas. he contributed lyrics, guitar, music and vocals for argent (lyrics and co-wrote music) and still life to die for (lyrics, melody, vocals and guitar). (links: spotify x, amazon music, apple music, youtube x, bandcamp x)

there's obviously a lot more stuff he's been in, i just lost steam after working on this for a few days + even then i don't think i could cover everything he's been in i feel like im learning new things everyday. i'd suggest doing your own research + if theres anything you'd like me to add to this post just let me know!

#unmasked ghouls #ben christo #sisters of mercy #diamond black #AKO #night by night #idek what to tag this as so were ending it there #benposting

[toytulini]

I saw Barbie last night, I dont think i have a long film review of it for yall but idk I'll put some thoughts under a readmore I guess?

-Right off the bat, I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was a fun pink poppy romp. Thats about what I expected of it, and thats pretty much what I got

-Its not particularly radical in its gender/feminism takes, its very basic, which, I saw a number of ppl mention that before I saw it so I wasnt expecting anything radical. It couldve done better. it was. fine. im shrug about it i guess.

-My mom enjoyed it and was apparently not expecting any sort of emotional depth or story at all so it caught her off guard. I heard her crying. she cries easy at movies. I'm glad my mom liked it. Maybe she'll absorb some of the very basic feminism it drops idk.

-I knew the Kens adopted patriarchy and introduced it to Barbieland but it felt lile that happened very fast, idk.

-The ending....I. is her going to a gynecologist supposed to be like. shes gotten a vagina by deciding to be human?? or is she trying to schedule a surgery or something? that felt pretty weird to me if im honest, i thought it was gonna be a job interview or smth... Especially with how everyone was like "Barbie is ace (heheeh i agree) cos she has no genitals! (sorry what. excuse me. wanna run that by me again?)" like okay that makes that headcanon reasoning even more dewply uncomfortable that it already was?

-I enjoyed weird Barbie. i wish theyd cast someone else cos iirc ka/te mckin/non was a transmisogynist? unless she apologized or said she changed her mind on the topic since like 2017?? but i havent seen anything? idk. just. annoying to keep platforming these ppl. i guess theres probably other actors involved that have shit views of trans ppl. whatever i guess.

-I did dress up a little. i feel like my outfit had Weird Barbie Vibes. maybe ill post a pic.

-I did enjoy it and it had a number of shots and or transitions i liked, i think the one with the disco ball to the moon or whatever was enjoyable.

-god we really are so weird about barbie

-it just feels factually incorrect that all dolls pre barbie were baby dolls? idk. im sure it was the most common kind. but idk. not to be weird about The History Of Dolls but like. the porcelain dolls from the Victorian era. idk if those count as baby dolls. iirc those were to help young girls practice prepping dead bodies of loved ones for funerals or smth??? but i guess porcelain dolls have a sort of babyish look about them. and are fragile so you cant play rough with them.

-Like i Know its a 2hr long toy commercial for mattel but also god that cant be right. even if they werent filling the same niche as barbie as idk basically a fashion doll? there had to be other dolls right?

-I know the flat foot thing is Supposed to be over the top and silly for them all to get upset about but also tbh. as a bitch with falling arches the way some of yall make jokes about flat feet still is uh. well. rude. but also lmao man. the day my arches started hurting for no reason while i was barefoot did sorta feel emotionally like her feet falling to the ground lol.

-i want to introduce barbie to margot robbie's harley quinn owo. i think that would be Fun :3

-i want Ken's job. how do i do Beach as an occupation.

-I actually liked how they handled Ken and Barbie's rship til the end. i feel weird about that ending overall and also it feels weak wrt her dynamic as Ken. they make him grapple w her not reciprocating his feelings the same way but then she just leaves barbieland anyway?? and ig they dont get to explore a friendship or qpr dynamic. ok. its fine i guess.

-her saying she has no genitalia felt so transgender in a way im not sure it was intended to. ken saying he has all of the genitalia felt even more transgender. headcanoning them both as extremely transgender in fun weird new ways and no one can stop me.

-Allan is my favorite character i think. bro me too

-bibbleless movie. add bibble.

#toy txt post #barbie spoilers #barbie movie #everyone kept trying to get my dad to come see it and like.i get it.but genuinely he would hate it even if not for his conservative bullshit #he hates goofy fun movies. OR. he wouldve actually enjoyed it a little bit and been REALLY ANNOYING ABOUT IT bc he would never admit it #and insist he hated it #and hed enjoy the ken patriarchy thing too much #basically im very glad we didnt drag my dad along cos i have to live with him and i think he would be insufferable about it #he has no appreciation for any kind of whimsy or fun! he would hate this silly movie #also this was the first time id been in a movie theater since pre2020. #i enjoyed dressing up in a silly little outfit. but i think i wouldve been happier to wait for it to be out of theaters tbh. theaters teste #tested my patience even before covid like oh im gonna sit uncomfortably in this chair and crane my neck up at this screen and i cant pause #it and theres no captions and people are Eating all around me and now i go and its all the same but im the only one wearing a mask so i dont #get to have a lil snack either and i still have to hear ppl eating around me and part way thru the movie someone across the aisle was making #some kind of horrible very wet and loud gulping noise with their drink or Something?? and i did feel violent about it #i would never be violent about it but my god do i feel like biting. you know. anyway. not sure if ill bother seeing any more movies #in theater now. i just would like them at home. idk #i will give props to barbie. it was like kovie theater loud but at least it wasnt giant major booms and inaudible ass dialogue

[incarnateirony]

they banned people from promoting projects because promoting projects is LABOR, and the point of a strike is withholding LABOR. you were given sources directly from the striking organizations. please use your noodle instead of doubling down in direct opposition of what they have asked for.

You're actually all morons that rolled into town that went "THIS IS MISINFORMATION" and failed to you know, click through the post you squealing children commented on that already shot down your terrible reasoning and flooded it full of interpretations. Sorry, but you're just poorly educated.

It's LABOR that gives MARKETING you fucking buffoons. They're even given permission to DO OTHER LABOR DEPENDING. That's why Silverman is so pissed. You don't get to pick and choose to cling to your shit.

In fact you guys are SO headass you don't see where you're actually projecting forced definitions at things that continue your influence, and reblogged a post that said shit like "I need an adult to tell me what to do" sarcastically brainlessly trotting out "WELL THEY HAVENT CALLED FOR IT."

I'm sorry, but the "I want to still watch my TV show" brigade isn't gonna shame the blog that's been ahead of this shit. No shit Sherlock, they Havent Called. They can't. I have a whole post breaking down the LEGAL REASONS BEHIND THEIR PHRASING.

No, they don't actually Lose Leverage. That's a mystical pipedream lost in 2008 forgetting they're trying to replace them with AI. It is an internal view of a minority population. Yall are just REAL LOUD. People causing your braindead takes without understanding the legal fuckery are saying such shit as "I have to strike". Not I want to. Not I support this. Have to. And it sucks, because it's one of my fave authors doing it. "I have to" instead of "yes, and I endorse it."

Every year on every media topic a bunch of numpty fans or fringe media workers try to argue with me on shit, which is genuinely funny, since I've been warning of *this* since 2017, specifically "by 2024" and [checks watch] oh, look at that.

I'm not boosting you guys taking any chance to shove your misinformation and self justification in the pipe by reblogging your spam that confirms you do, in fact, need an adult to tell you in small direct words what to do.

The legal inability to make a decree or force someone, and it being Personal Choice--the words of the breakouts, not mine--one you guys REALLY dont like tolerating--is so far above your goddamn heads it's in outter space or some shit. Media LOVES the poorly educated. And your Fave that wants Ahead Of the Pack when the industry crunches does too. Because he "has to" strike and man, as a high earner, these stupid lil guys are fuckin' him up. 2.x% voted not to strike, too. The inability for the union to force their members to certain ends is not the same as you knucklefucks "I attack anyone that makes me feel bad". You can side with the 240 assholes. I side with everyone else. Because, again, That Is A Personal Choice.

See, I'll give you a choice: You can ill this puppy or not kill this puppy. This will be a personal choice. If you choose to kill the puppy, well, you're an asshole, and thats still your choice, but oh well?

Listen guys, you're coming at me as fans. I am not coming at you as fans. I am not. In fact I literally can not tell you what I am coming at this as. So you can flail and thrash and go BUT MY FAVE SHOW and throw up 20 times "BUT!!! THEY HAVENT CALLED FOR--" haven't called for doesn't mean Dont Do. In fact, they've never said Dont Do, while you're at it, they've just said Personal Choice. It is your Personal Choice to sit here attacking someone that knows wtf is going on internally way better than you, too. So yes, you do in fact need a preferred adult to tell you in small words like you're five. Once you catch up on the legal reasoning, and realize the "leverage" excuse is dead, suddenly you realize, you have no points. None. But some of you are SO headass you went "BUT LEVERAGE" on a reblog pointing out that leverage doesnt exist with the AI installations. So you can just. Pay the bot man now I guess.

Thing is, you ain't able to actually control this, since the majority of this is real world mouthtravel. Oh, by the way, I pledged to make informative posters to distribute in a new metro area every time an uneducated knucklefuck dropped in.

"Reasons to NOT boycott" "I wasn't told directly to do so" is not a reason. Even from your outside seat, all you're confessing is having no independent thought and needing to be told how to make decisions. Even WITHOUT the legal limitations barring why it WILL never be announced short of the guilt itself hitting suicide bomb pact level. Oh wait you motherfuckin idiots don't realize there's that potential repurcussion if they do it as a whole.

Admit to yourselves you're just trying to watch TV and attacking anyone that makes you feel bad about it. Which is funny, cuz the WGA hasn't told you to do that either. They told you it was a Personal Decision. But you're still running with it because, oh my god my friends are making moral choices and I feel this makes me look bad if I don't?????????????

Get the fuck out of here with your consumer bullshit. Keep paying the studios and telling yourself you're giving the writers leverage while you're just showing the studios "oh yes you can threaten to terminate all their contracts and actively replace them with a robot and continue to receive my money". Yes much leverage very wow. Or you know the leverage might be responding to the threat to drop all their authors and not tolerating it until they stop attempting it, and returning when they stop doing it, because you dumb motherfuckers apparently don't get how leverage works. The Leverage claim ends when they're being replaced with robots or their contracts terminated. That's not leverage. That's you being an idiot and/or in best argument, trying to watch your Fave to show why your Fave shouldn't be cut, just like Everybody Else Does THeir Faves, so nothing is changed.

If staying subscribed was leverage they wouldn't be about to get bulk contract cancelled and replaced by AI right now. Catch. Up. The plot is SO FAR PAST the level you are thinking on.

I'm over it. Every reblog you guys have made on your little attempted controlling tizzy has added a metro area for me to print shit out in. Keep going. I count 5 since I woke up. That's five metro areas I will be distributing bulk flyers in. If you would like to continue to argue and flood me with uneducated self justification bullshit that the WGA also hasn't told you to do while flying it as your banner, you can just add more cities I will release flyers in. To put it in WGA terms since that's the only thing you tend to understand, that's my Personal Choice. Your personal choice at this point is how fast you wanna message your friends to prevent several million people across the US from getting my physical message to tell them to shut the fuck up and leave my leaker blog be, because not only are you WOEFULLY uneducated and working on confirmation biases and none-arguments, but you are in fact adding a boost to my message one metro area at a time.

Your lack of understanding of the scale of this and your inability to tell where you are projecting interpretations at neutral statements is your fucking low reading level problem. Not mine. Your inability to understand why about 3% of authors amidst dozens of thousands don't like the idea is YOUR lack of discernment. You cannot force that on people who have front stepped WGA events from knowing, or even made one such author fuckin teleport out of a room when he tried Just That Line. "The WGA hasn't called for" "You and I both know they can't." [teleport, silence] Sorry, no.

[wolfgrlonline]

Your art is SO good, do you post it anywhere else? (also do you use furaffinity?)

edit! the hyperlinks dont fuckin work!

website: http://lillywolf.pet/

twitter: https://twitter.com/wolfgrlonline

omg thank u ^w^ arf!!

i dont really use furaffinity, most of my art is on my website but its out of date and doesnt include everything because im very adhd (i do really want/need to update it though)

my executive dysfunction is the reason i havent posted everything here yet either TwT or made a theme or even a description

if ur insane and want the worst way to view my art (but also u can see random doodles too) u can scroll through the media tab on my twitter cuz that is where ive been the most active since 2017.

my goal though is to have my website and this tumblr both function as full galleries - i want to try and compile everything and organize it by year and post it here eventually, since ive been fairly spread out and had a bad habit of deleting my accounts frequently as a teenager TwT rip to old art

#wolf posting #asks

[piercedpressure]

how has deja evolved over the years? i swear she gets redesigned like every few months /pos lol

LMAOOO ud be right cause shes changed stories each year (im painfully indecisive), this year is the only story ive genuinely been interested in exploring since i finally landed on a genre i think would fit her best? and i consider her redesigns to be a sort of progression into how ive grown as a writer and maybe as a person since shes been with me for so long lmao

ill place this under read more cause ill go into condensed detail about her evolution for her characterization, her design, and a small timeline for her story contexts but tl;dr shes grown so much and has gotten way more complex. i love her so much

2017-early 2018: she actually started out as a sona concept! design wise, nothing really special tbh, i was throwing stuff i really liked. for 2017, she was just a throwaway concept, but i was rapidly improving towards the end of that year...

mid-2018: ... that i ended up reusing her concept as a character concept, and during that year, i made an au with a friend that spiraled into something that lasted about the next 2 years, that then included her as one of the main characters LMAO. i wanted to draw crazy hair and also a cute mask, so i did. i ended up making it so that the masks were to both hide her identity (shes a fugitive in the au) and to be some sort of metaphor. her personality was very outwardly sweet, but she could also kill you so it best to not get on her bad side, but she was also in a constant learned helplessnes. big deja year

2019: design wise, i removed the mask, made her fatter (despite me not knowing how to draw fat people yet), and made her sorta baby-faced, since her character is a lot more childish during this bit? story wise, her story was included in an anthology about different kinds of love in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. during this time, i was going through a Lot mentally, and it sorta marked the beginning of a really horrible period in my life thats still kind of ongoing, so i used her story in a more experimental sense so i can figure out different workarounds in an escapist way? this is also when i started pairing her with her now-partner-in-stories, lualhati, and from this point, lulu and deja are inseparable

2020: for this year, i was sorta putting her story off? i was really struggling to figure out what to do with it other than the deja/lulu love story, but at the same time, that marked me going through a journey of adding fat people to my work. dejas always been small fat, but her body hasnt actually been drawn well enough. we all start from somewhere though. she was a lot more calm in this version, and is sort of a leader figure for a village in a fantasy world. but i wasnt really feeling it.........

2021: last year was when i really started digging deep into what i wanted to do. i wanted weird gay trans cathartic art. so dejas story was that. still wasnt really feeling it, but u can tell i was really experimenting trying to land on something i was passionate about. while i did like her design since its a turning point in my art, and its visually loud (the color palette, holy shit), IT WAS SO HARD TO DRAW? i understand that 2021 me was really going at it with very loud and distinct designs, but the reason why i didnt even draw her for months after was because she was so fucking hard to draw. and i didnt put enough effort to portraying her fatness (which will soon become a very important aspect of her character). but were about to pull a gamer move

2022: up until now, since 2018-2019, i wasnt really satisfied with her story. it didnt really fit what i wanted, bc i was mostly concerned with how other people would react if i talked about them, especially since deja/lulu have always been very personal to me. but i had a vision. where deja and lulu are in a revenge drama thriller in a city in the middle of nowhere. and i havent stopped thinking about it day and night ever fucking since. i brought back a lot of elements from past designs (mostly cause i thought theyd look great, i was right), and im finally getting to a point where im figuring out how i draw fat people. now, dejas characterization came really easy to me (hypervigilent, short-tempered, mysterious, a second away from realizing shes trans). her story explores themes surrounding violence, secrets, and suffocating marriages, and while its a far heavier story than the past ones, its the first time ive been genuinely excited to see how its grown. i could ramble about this all day lol

deja is a growing character and she keeps getting better and better every time im exploring her, and she genuinely means the world to me. thank u for reading this if u have decided to read this

#i started answering this at 9 pm and now its midnight hi. im possessed by ocs #if u actually do read this i encourage questions about deja and lulu cause their storys been sitting in my brain for a week now oops #deja (deja/lulu) #also hi icarus my friend seven :o) hope ur doing alright #hyperfixings

[unlimitedtrees]

the earliest build i have from my very first game, 'Mr. Waffle Lover'

wat da freak ... im about to make Three posts in a row ?? impossible... so Hi. in case u havent seen my Last Big Post, one of my first projects was a game called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. it started in early 2014 until late 2017 and it went through Tons of wildly different iterations. and also, if u read da last post youd know i lost nearly All of those builds of the game.

Despite losing like, 3 years of my own history, ive managed to find a few builds from multiple iterations of my game, with this one being the earliest iteration i have. this is the Third iteration of the game's development.. and there isnt a whole lot to say about it. it is a Very Basic, Very Primitive platformer made by an 11 year old. this build in particular has only Two levels . i Think more were made at some point, but it's hard to remember. at one point, i made a ""mobile version demo"" of the game for the tablet i had at the time (the game did not work on it), and thats the version u see in the video i posted. For Some Reason, i decided to strip any other level that may have existed in the game and just made it a demo even though i was the Only Person who could play the game.. so i dont have much from this iteration. i Do have an Earlier build that i put on github, but there isnt a whole lot of differences to this demo version.

Anyways, i think, for the rest of this post, imma go a little in depth about the Origins of this game and what it was actually Supposed to be .. click the Read Me thingy if u Dare !!!

So, it all started in 2013 . i was a Bored little creature who liked to draw things and was Deep into Minecraft for the Xbox 360. and one day i created a little comic with a character called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'.. And He Looked Like This:

That's Right , my very first OC is Just a skin from one of the minecraft xbox 360 edition skin packs. this was the skin i played as a lot back then, and 'Mr. Waffle Lover' was my self insert in the comic. why is he called 'Mr. Waffle Lover' you may ask? because i liked to eat waffles a lot. that became his main character trait. Eventually, when the game became A Thing, i would slowly change his design from just a copy of a minecraft skin, first giving him heterochromia and Gloves which spawned TNT, then later giving him a yellow shirt to match with his love for waffles, and then i just make him a Girl (but That is a story for Another Day . .. )

Anyways , on my birthday in 2014 i got a windows 8 laptop, and then in october i learned about construct 2 and decided i Needed to make a video game. ever since i was a fetus ive always wanted to make a video game,, with one of the earliest ideas for a game i remember having is when i was like 5 and wanted to make 'New Sonic the Hedgehog Wii' (a copy of New Super Mario Bros. Wii but featuring multiple colored Sonics).

ANYWAYS , one of the first video games i ever made was Mr. Waffle Lover......... Well Actually, Technically that is not true, as a few months before i tried using some Random in-browser game program that i dont remember the name of to make something called the 'Egg Game'... but it never went anywhere beyond me putting a stock Egg image into the program and then giving up.

my initial inspiration for making a game about the Mr. Waffle Lover character was when i played a game called 'Ms. Splosion Man' on the xbox 360. i thought the game play was interesting but i got stuck at one of the puzzles so i was like 'I Want to make this game but Better and with MY character !'. And So, i thought of the idea of Waffle Lover having Gloves that spawn TNT that he uses to jump high like in Ms. Splosion Man....... but i never got to actually implement it until the 'mid 2015' build that i posted earlier... and i removed it entirely afterwards and just made the game a Basic 2D Platformer for awhile.

so yea. this game was supposed to be just a simple 2d platformer featuring my sort of self insert OC based off a minecraft skin. there wasnt really much to it conceptually... just wanted to make a video game! that's all my ideas were at the time.. the only "Story" this game has is 'Waffle Lover gets his Waffles stolen by some Scientist People and he needs to Stop Them !!!!'. the game eventually got some sort of story over time... but for now all u need to know is that this game is A Game that I Wanted To Make. it doesnt get purer than that.

with the first iteration of my game being my first game Ever, i had No Idea how to do things. all of the small sprites were stretched out to fit the HD screen resolution, making everything blurry. the gameplay was Very Basic and the levels were simple. the HUD didnt even stay centered on the screen... instead it used the 'pin behavior' to be pinned on the player object (which did not work and the HUD would move around the object). And the worst aspect of it was that i did Not know how to make layouts in construct 2 use other event sheets or Objects from other layouts..... meaning every layout (meaning every level) uses Completely Different programming And objects .... Not Only That , but i only had the Trial version of construct 2 at that time.... so i could only use 100 'events'... meaning i could only put So Much code in the game before i reached the limit (and with every level using its own separate events for everything, i ran out of events Pretty Quickly and couldnt make any more levels.

I So Desperately Wish i could show that first iteration of the game with you. it was Very Weird and Bad but it was so Lovely. to say the least.. it was quite the learning experience ! I can Vividly remember me making the very first layout in the game,, with it just being the Waffle Lover sprite moving around a white background and a bunch of badly placed collision objects. it was a Sight to Behold . But Sadly... when i decided to completely redo the game, i deleted the whole project file for it, and its pretty much Lost forever now. the only remains are some random sprites from it i still have... other than that there Was a trailer i made for it once and i Think i released a demo for it once... but both of those are Long gone now.

anyways. for the second iteration of the game i decided to make it an ""HD"" version of the game, using higher resolution sprites and a 3d animated version of Waffle Lover.... However this 3d version is Actually just a minecraft skin of him made in Mine-imator, an Old 3D animating software Exclusively made for making minecraft animations. So , the game had a bunch of bad tilesets and a badly animated prerendered sprite of a minecraft skin for its player character. i dont remember much from that point of the game's development other than it did not last very long and it looked Funny. i dont even think it got past one level... as i struggled with making high resolution art (i only had ms paint and construct 2's built in image editor, so, yea). i Think everything from that era of the game's development is Gone, HOWEVER i THINK i might have the files for the Mine-imator animations Somewhere... maybe. i Think i saw the files on my old laptop for some mine-imator project but i was unable to open them and i dont know if i saved them anywhere so. Idk.

and now, this leads us to the Third iteration of the game... which is the one i showed in this post. as you can see in the video, i finally figured out how to make pixel art look not blurry. i also figured out how to make different layouts use the same event sheets. i even figured out how to make a HUD... incredible ! other than all of that, there's not much to say about it. it's just not as silly looking as the earlier iterations were... and its not really Fun to play. its not even all that janky.. its just basic. i worked on it for awhile, but then i gave up on it and moved onto the mid 2015 iteration.. and the rest of the game's history is a story for Another Time..

if there's anything i can say about this old game.. it's that you can Definitely see how much ive grown since then. whoever is reading this, i Really hope this is not your first introduction to my work.... cus my stuff nowadays is Insane compared to this... a lot has happened in the like, 8 years since ive started game development. and i have so much stories i want to share,,, i hope i can keep sharing those stories with you. oh and also, if you Really have never heard of my work before... um.... Play UNITRES Dreams on Newgrounds dot com. LOL!!!!!!

That is All i want to talk about for today i think. I Think. hope my posts are comprehensible to u ! Oh , And Before i forget , the build of the game in the video i posted is in the ProjectWaffle google doc archive ... and the Earliest Build i have is on github. check it out If U Wish !

#TreesThinks #Project Waffle #game development #game dev #gamedev #game developer #indiedev #indie dev #indie developer #indie game #indie games #Youtube

[youmakemestrong]

~

#I’m a nightmare bc I just desperately wanted the url destiehl to be available bc I am first and foremost a larrie #but also #I am #like this #sam says shit #THEY HAVENT EVEN POSTED SINCE 2017 I WANT IT

[toomuchdickfort]

@ my brain: yes I’ve been home a lot. Please stop being rude to me when I don’t go anywhere for 2 days.

#tonight’s shitty train of thought is ~how i fell out of touch with most of the folks i grew up with during senior year because i forgot to #tell anyone i was moving and guilted myself out of trying to get in touch and then i moved back and continued to not be able to get in touch #and someone who i used to consider one of my best friends got married and yes its covid and yes we werent on the best terms at the time but #i found out the next day at work that a coworker went and for some reason that hurt and it still does and like i completely understand but #still and also i dont know if i can call more than maybe 2 of those folks friends anymore because i just never get in touch and havent talke #d to people in years and most of my coworkers have gotten close to each other since we started working there and i just freak myself out whe #n i even think about contacting any of them for non work reasons and my friend group from senior year just sort of stopped talking the summe #after half of us graduated and im realizing i dont know how to make friends when im not required to be around a large group of people 8 hrs #a day 5 days a week and #please don’t message me about this #ive been worrying over it since 2017 when i moved schools and i just. dont want to talk about it. not in a conversation #and i know 2 folks i used to consider close friends had been mutuals at some point and i would check to see if they still follow me but like #i dont want to know. if they dont anymore i dont want to know. and i sort of hope they dont see this because its gonna sound guilt trippy an #d god thats not what this is supposed to be bit #i just #gotta complain a bit #don’t mind me #i’m just complaining #long post

[bbeelzemon]

GAH i want to draw but my tablet is out of commission for a while til my new cable for it comes in, so if i REALLY want to draw itll have to be with a mouse.

#or uhhhh #i guueessss #i could use my old not-screen tablet.. that still works #id have to uninstall huion driver and reinstall wacom driver... #sounds terrifying #maybe i wont use it to work on artfight just for quality assurance issues #but uh i guess if i get really desperate to sketch anything i could use that #i actually forgot about it until i got to these tags.. #i was WRITING this post because i wanted to draw something shitty with a mouse #like as a joke #but now im like. actually thinking about this #huh. well let me go grab it i guess and see if i can still get it to work #i havent used it since uhhh mid 2017 #and i used it for about a week before i got my first screen tablet LMAO #so its like new condition it just doesnt have a screen... can i still draw like that or will it just make me Angery #its been... so long... #where the fuck did i even put that thing. hang on

[cruisinfdr]

#LMFAO IT CAUGHT FIRE TWICE #ts3 #the banda bunch #reminder u can block the banda bunch if u wanna !!! i post ts3 every other night :~) #itll always be under that tag even when the gen changes just cuz i dont think any1s invested enough for me to change it #currently. im waiting for amazon to ship me my charging cord for my boombox #the fkin batteries died and my tape is stuck in it im so STRESSED and i dont want to spend $8 on more batteries #i havent made a mixtape since early 2017 and i was looking at my old google doc a few nights ago where i wrote down all the songs #its so cute like i named them all they r all written in different colors ;'~) i specificed A n B side its adorable #i wanna make another one ! i just have to sit down and flip thru my music for awhile #anyway is anyone else excited 4 the new delias clothes coming the 5th #it was SUPPOSED to be today but they changed it sdjkghkdh me n my friend were so annoyed !!! #anyway im gonna go recolor a shirt now #im trying 2 piece together an outfit for an edit but i dont have the perfect shirt so i gotta fkin. recolor it myself. ugh work #sdjkhgkjf ok i'll go now if u read any of this i lov u ! have a nice day !

[awsugar]

i recently started listening to franks solo music and really paying attention to lyrics, i was like ok he’s mad and hurt but maybe it’s his style idk, i don’t want to necessarily connect it to mcr maybe he has moved on after all this years, i don’t know.

Then… i found this alt press interview and just by reading, it so clear that frank’s resentment conveys directly towards the band and gerard and the fact that mcr for him was so important and powerful and the others didn’t see the potential he saw. I imagine this scene where g was like “frank come one it’s not that big of a deal if we break up, we aren’t the Beatles” and frank just going feral…. mmm what’s your opinion on franks words? thank you for reading anyway❤️🤧

OUGH yea ok. i remember reading that bit and it made me absolutely fucking insane, and i think at the time i definitely zeroed in on the part where he said he thinks theyre the best band in the world. but like reading it again im like ooooooouuuughghougohuguhgohh ugh. GOD.

and i mean just. what can i say. like we knew that the breakup wasnt really franks idea, based on the interview where he said it came as a surprise, and his own personal post about the breakup. i mean like he said he didnt want to beat a dead horse but he's the one that really wanted to fight to save it. and i think the others (particularly gerard) not really having the same fight left in them to save the band was really hurtful to him. and it had to be fucking WEIRD. like the fact that frank was brought into the band later and wasnt exactly a founding member, then being the one who believed in them the most and wanted to fight for it the most. but like. it does make sense, seeing as he was a fan first.

so like, ive talked on here before about how someone told me that frank was always the one that pushed for the reunion when they would get together. but i think that this makes that really really obvious. but also like now im thinking about frank bringing up the idea of a reunion when they would get together, or like just hinting at it. which is kind of sad bc they started brainstorming the reunion in 2017, right? which means i think he was probably bringing it up before then. and i mean in 2017 they had only been broken up 4 years, thats like no time at all, especially when a lot of bands break up forever. so like it seems kind of like frank was just letting them know the entire time, from like as soon as he stopped being extremely super hurt about the breakup in the first place, that he wanted to do it again. he never gave up on it.

and it does make you think that like. i mean ive theorized this whole time that franks accident was a catalyst for the reunion. and that kind of solidifies it even more. like i kind of think now that like ever since the breakup frank now and then would be like hey...i still havent given up on this....and then when they, especially gerard cause i think the togetherness and apartness of mcr mostly hinged on his decision, realized that they could actually lose him at any moment, lose the opportunity to do what frank had been pushing for, they realized ok maybe we do need to do this.

so anyway yea i mean i dont think all of franks music is about mcr breaking up. but its very clear that he has a LOT of feelings surrounding that i think they do make it into his music. and that passage you sent me literally lives in my mind rent free like. insane. we need to talk about this all the time.

#pansypositive #asks #im gonna make queue bend and break

[skzfairies]

yuri youtube update: bang bang — jessi j dance cover (w/ WOOYOUNG, YUNHO, SAN, and YEOSANG)

posted 07/19/17

link to the dance here!

IF U HAVENT WATCHED THE DANCE U BETTER GO WATCH IT BECAUSE ‼️‼️‼️ ITS SO FUN

and plus you need to watch it to understand certain parts of this video hehe!!

but when this was released, yuri had been at KQ for around three months, and it was her last video for awhile too...so she thought she would introduce her new friends!

her last video meant like...last video for almost a whole year 💀

ANYWAYS

she didn’t need to convince wooyoung, san, and yunho much to do this dance with her...but yeosang was a lil hesitant

NOT BECAUSE HE WAS SHY OR DIDNT WANT TO BE ON HER CHANNEL BUT....he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to shake his ass on youtube yet 💀

BUT THEY FORMED A GRAND COMPROMISE ‼️

for reference the part of the dance i’m talking about is at (0:21)

yuri, yunho, and wooyoung would do the ass shaking move and then san and yeo would join them after, and wooyoung and yunho were MORE than happy to agree 😁

they were so excited to do this dance w yuri but when it came to the actual shoot day....it went downhill 😭

woo and yunho COULD NOT keep a straight face during this part 😭😭 like it was so bad they had to include woo and yunho laughing as they did that part 😭

but that was as far as they were getting because before woo and yunho couldn’t even do it they were laughing so hard 😭😭

meanwhile, yuri: *🤨🤨🦗🦟🦗🦟 why i am the only one that’s popping my mf pussy right now ⁉️⁉️⁉️

OKAY MOVING ON

THE DANCE WAS FIREEEEE ALL OF THEM LITERALLY SLAYED IT ‼️ THEY DID SO GOOD

ALL OF THEM WERE SMILING SO HARD DOING IT THEY WERE HAVING THE TIME OF THEIR LIFESSS

when jessi sings “see anybody could be bad to you, you need a good girl to blow your mind” THEY ALL LIP SYNCED IT WITH SO MUCH ATTITUDE AHHHHH IM SCREAMING THEY ARE SO ICONIC

and omg when nicki’s iconic verse came YOU LITERALLY COULD HEAR YURI RAPPING ALONG WITH HER ‼️

BUT EVERYONE DID SO GOOD!!! EVERYONE LITERALLY KILLED IT

pls convince ateez to cover this dance because i just KNOW that they will do amazing....i need it i need it

overall, the dance was EXTREMELY iconic, and was probably one of the most iconic dance covers yuri did in 2017.

it got a lot of attention!!!! people were AMAZED by woo, san, yunho‘s and yeosang’s dance abilities, and people were so amazed on how much yuri had improved since IOI

and it also made people soft because yuri looked SO HAPPY in this video :((( people were glad that she was living her best life :(((

omg at the end of the video, THERE WAS A BLOOPER REEL

which the majority of it just consisted of wooyoung and yunho FAILING to pop their pussy unlike the one and only queen YURI and her just behind absolutely DONE with them 😭😭😭

AND WHEN THEY DID THE FREESTYLE YURI WAS BEING SEXY AND IN ONE OF THE BLOOPERS THE BOYS STARTED MAKING FUN OF HER AND MOCKING HER AND SHE JUST STOOF THERE LIKE 😀🧍‍♀️ WHY AM I HERE

someone save yuri 2017 😭😭😭

im just gonna list out some of the HIGHLIGHTS from the blooper reel because...our lovely dancers are a hot MESS

so in the beginning of the dance there’s a sassy strut, which is yuri’s FAVORITE move in the dance so you KNOW shes gonna give it her all which...that leads to her going too full out and she ends up tripping over her own feet...and falling...right on her face...

THAY WAS THE FIRST BLOOPER SO YK ITS ONLY GONNA BE MORE CHAOTIC FROM HERE

BUT WHAT MADE IT EVEN FUNNIER WAS THAT SHE REPLAYED IT AND EDITED SO SHE FELL IN SLOWMO 😭😭😭 LITERALLY STOP LETTING YURI EDIT HER VIDEOS 😭

and then mingi came into the room and literally CRAHSED THE PARTY, he got infront of yuri and started dancing like a big goofball 😭 yuri was holding in her laughter so hard😭😭

AND GUESS WHAT !!!! YURI FELL AGAIN !!!!

this time it wasnt her own fault 😭 it was wooyoung’s 😭😭

HE DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE HER FALL....BUT THATS WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING 😀

he went to go hug her at FULL SPEED and yuri was NOT prepared so .... down her AND wooyoung went 😀😀

yunho yeosang and and san standing on the sidelines watching as they both went down 😳😳🙄🙄😐😐

they were NOT impressed 😭

AND SEONGHWA WAS FILMING THEM AND HE DEADASS WENT

“be careful now!! we can’t give the princess brain damage!!!”

and if looks could kill...seonghwa would be a dead man and yuri would be behind bars 😁

and the next one is typical ateez, they were getting ready to record again and out of NO WHERE they started singing i’ll be your man by BTOB 😭😭😭

they sounded like absolute legends though ‼️‼️‼️ ateez vocal icons ‼️‼️

and in a way....they were kinda seeing into the future...cause yk...kingdom

chérie ur not funny era!!

MOVING ON

this is the last and final blooper....and for a good reason...because its literally the most chaotic and messy blooper yet 😭

and it’s literally just all of them being their normal selfs 😭😭

ANYWAYS, so they decided that they wanted to play the blind zombie game (i’m not too sure if this is what the game is ACTUALLY called but whatever)

if u don’t know what that game is them dw!!! chérie is here to explain!!!! the blind zombie game is basically where you pick someone to be the “zombie” and you blindfold them, and they spin in a circle for a little bit while everyone goes out and picks a hiding spot. the goal is to not to be touched by the zombie, because then youll become a zombie! the key to this game is to be very very quiet....which if u ever met ateez you know that that is impossible in that household!

so, yuri was chosen to be the zombie because she SUCKS at rock paper scissors shoot, like she’s REALLY BAD AT IT. she literally looses each time she plays 💀

ANYWAYS, normally people start out walking the room with their arms in front of them literally touching EVERYTHING to find this person, but....miss yuri has a different tactic

this dumbass (affectionate 🥰) decides to wave her arms in front of her and SCREAM on TOP OF HER LUNGS, while running STRAIGHT AHEAD OF HER WITH NO PLANS OF STOPING

LIKE DID SHE THINK THE WALL WAS ENDLESS???

thankfully she ran into the mirror and not wall because ... that would have been bad. she got a big red circle on her forehead though and it didn’t go away for a few hours 😭😭SHE LITERALLY BOUNCED BACK AFTER SHE HIT THE MIRROR

ANYWAYS i don’t know what her goal was but somehow IT WORKED because wooyoung started laughing and you know...this man has the laugh of a hyena (HES SO CUTE) SO YURI FOLLOWED THE SOUND AND SHE ENDED UP GETTING HIM IN LIKE THREE MINUTES 😭😭

woo was so petty and upset that he even ratted out where yunho was hiding at 😭😭 WOOYOUNG BACKSTABBER ALERT????

and yeosang was sitting on the floor and his legs were out so knowing yuri....she’s gonna trip. AND SHE DID. AND SHE DIDNT KNOW WHO IT WAS AND SHE GOT SO MAD THAT THEY JUST LEFT THEIR FEET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM THAT SHE SMACKED THEM ON THE LEG 😭😭

rip yeosang he was just trying to strech man 💔💔💔

and yuri loterally could not find san somehow ???? SHE LITERALLY WALKED PAST HIM 10 TIMES 😭😭

he was pressed against a wall so when she gave up and saw where san was hiding SHE GOT SO MAD AT HERSELF 😭😭

this game was literally yuri getting mad herself for being dumb 😭

yuri was literally about to curse but... *cue tv static*

the video ended with an adorable goodbye of yuri holding the camera and all of them, including our lovely cameraman seonghwa, yelling out goodbyes and sending out hearts :(((

THEY ARE ALL SO PRECIOUS <//3

in conclusion, all of them had so much fun making this video and they all are amazing ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

tags: @chaerincore @atzaria @ateezjuliet @shinyddeonghwa @m00niesk7 @softieteez @lunarxsun @qkewrka @filmyoongs

#yuri :: youtube #aesocnet. #deluxeocnet #mochiocnet #kpop extra member #ateez 9th member #kpop au #ateez extra member #ateez fluff #ateez #ateez oc member #ateez 9th memeber au #ateez fanfic #ateez oc #ateez ninth member au #ateez ninth member #ateez female additon #ateez female addition masterlist #ateez female oc #ateez female member #ateez addition #ateez girl member #fake kpop addition #kpop added member

[dreamgirledward]

movies that could fix dean :)

the truman show (1998) dean IS truman-coded. break free from the narrative, baby! dean's the hamster in the wheel of chuck's show and he's telling the creator to go fuck himself! coco (2017) bc i can so easily picture jack asking to watch it with him, cas and sam and they'd all definitely sob at the end also i just think any film with a theme about familial love and loss would break him into a million pieces lilo & stitch (2002) dean and nani 🤝 eldest daughters growing up too fast, working hard to keep their broken family together and raising a baby sibling that doesnt quite understand your sacrifice, two sisters against the world, etc. etc. you get it. i think the Aloha O`e scene would make him ugly sob and would provide a lot of catharsis for him pride & prejudice (2005) purely bc i DO think the shot of darcy walking through the field towards lizzie at dawn could fix him. also. he loves someone. most ardently. brokeback mountain (2005) oh. you know. both mamma mia films (2008, 2018) mostly bc i think once he let himself enjoy abba he would immediately come out to everyone he knew but also specifically i think here we go again's representation of motherhood would cause him to have a breakdown billy elliot (2000) (i havent stopped thinking about this since it was posted </3 @skepticalfrog im still so unwell thank you so much for drawing that.) literally any representation of pure fatherly love like this would help dean work through all his shit with john and understand that fathers DO NOT have to be Like That and he was in fact a victim and it could definitely help him with how to be a better father towards jack. billy's surety of his masculinity + sexuality while learning ballet AND how clearly not homophobic he is towards michael: literal perfection i just really need dean to watch billy elliot it is an absolutely perfect film. also. dean in out with the old. thinking. legally blonde (2001) is it a stretch to say dean's elle-coded? maybe but i dont care. pretty person that's been told to stick to what they Know and just Do As They're Told but actively chooses to go after what they want and even excel at it, proving to everyone around them that they're much more than a pretty face and extremely capable <3 elle would be dean's hero eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (2004) i just really need him to hear clementine's monologue that's literally her explaining to not only joel but to the audience that she is in fact not the manic pixie dream girl of his dreams. also choosing to not give up on the one you love even when you both have hurt each other horribly is very divorce arc destiel if i do say so myself

#by fix do i mean send into an all consuming depression because it hits too close to home and he has A Lot to think about and address or #do i just mean he sobs at the end and it fundamentally changes him ?? #u can decide #i could add more but this would be much too long lolol #dean winchester #spn #edit: i need anyone who reads this to understand that joel and clememtine trying again with each other paralleled with divorce arc destiel #is a parallel to me because of them actively trying again not bc cas ever hurt dean :) cas literally did nothing wrong :) #sammy's good spn #sammy.txt

[pagesofkenna]

i know ive already complained about this but im going through my fanfic right now and my sole 2017 fic was a menstruation story about a masculine nonbinary character in an openly queer fandom, it was a concept i had thought about a long time before writing (because i think about menstruation, and how common it is, and how little we dwell on it, and how big of an impact it has on peoples lives especially trans people)

and the same day i posted it, someone in the fandom who i followed at the time made an aggravated subtweet-style post about people 'only treating nonbinary characters as afab' (I'm very much simplifying what their argument was; i felt it was partially justified) and i felt instinctively that it was a reaction to my fic. and i felt so bad, i unfollowed that person (for multiple reasons), and i havent even opened that fic since to reread it, to see if i still even like it anymore

its one of my most kudo'd fics on AO3. it has a decent number of hits and bookmarks for me, someone who gets so little of either. i feel very strongly about menstruation and this was the one time i felt like it would be safe to explore that topic in a story, because the source material was already so raw, and after that i just... felt like i had done a bad thing. or not tread carefully enough. a story i wanted to explore badly for myself, and at least a few other people seem to have appreciated, and im still afraid to touch it again. it bugs me that i don't feel comfortable even rereading it

#like its not important enough for me to feel like i have to defend this story i wrote #im more angry that i want to write more stories that deal with menstruation #and this being the reaction i got from just one?? #this person's argument was essentially saying that... this is a masculine character whose nonbinary-ness comes out by #occasional use of feminine language. he/him pronouns and calling himself a lady #and i can totally see why they'd flinch at me essentially suggesting 'this nb lady is an afab transman! #his femininity comes from being ~biologically~ a female!'. except thats not what i was trying to say #and im both. frustrated at myself if thats what it ended up sounding like i was saying? #and frustrated at the other person for seeing 'menstruation' and being unable to link it from gender essentialism BS #but i also dont know if its naive of me to think i can talk about menstruation without implying things about sex and gender #that i dont wish to imply or even think about

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

#in conclusion i hate it here #lets go back to mystreet bein slice of life pls #anyways tune in next week for 'the hell is pdh??' #aphmau #mcd #mystreet #minecraft diaries #please ignore these next tags im just promoting relentlessly #garroth ro'meave #zane ro'meave #aaron lycan #kawaii chan #kim mystreet #laurance zvhal #pls i have no idea how to tag posts #rant