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#THEY REFUSE TO FUNCTION RIGHT NOW
freizusein · a month ago
2, 4, 28 and 33 for the ask game?
2. what would you name your future kids?
i have absolutely no idea. I’d like to have children one day, but the names would depend on my partner as well, of course, and her ethnicity and culture and preferences. but I think I’d prefer names that are on one hand kind of unique but also not prone to ridicule, you know? because I know exactly how cruel and mocking kids and society can get just by hearing a name. i’d like easy names, maybe not too long, but also something meaningful and something that I’d feel you could identify with on a deeper level… also personally am a huge fan of unisex / neutral names. but that doesn’t mean it’d have to be one. also maybe i’d like to give my kids middle names. I can’t even give a proper reason for it except that i like having a middle name and that I was graced by two names i both like and can identify with also on a singular level. i don’t really care with which one i am addressed. and that maybe that could give my kids a chance to easily choose one name over the other if they totally dislike one of the names.
4. what are you looking forward to?
OHMYGOSH that’s so easy to answer. holidays away in august. (fully vaccinated ofc and I am staying in my home country to do so). booked the first train ride yesterday so the deal is sealed and i am genuinely so excited i feel like a child - i haven’t had a chance to take a ‘proper’ holiday since a four-day alps roadtrip in 2017 and haven’t seen the actual seaside since the year before doing my a-levels. also it’s going to be a solo trip (except for the long trainride up north where I’m gonna meet @shakespearerants AHHHHH I’m so excited and happy about that!!!) so I can do everything the way I want and not feel stressed about trying to compromise with anyone!
28. i’ll love you if…
… you have a certain set of baseline morals, believe in ‘Human dignity shall be inviolable’, believe in the truth of science and understand the concept of proper discussion and exchange of opinions.
I'll love you if you are genuine. If you are honest to me - even if negative feelings are involved - but still have the capability to empathise with the world around you.
i don’t even know what else to say here because that’s such a complex question to answer and would differ from person to person. but i think one thing that is extremely important to me for every sort of relationship, platonic, romantic, sexual, is that you communicate, voice if something is wrong, are able to speak up and set your boundaries clearly and don’t leave me hanging for weeks or months. nothing is more horrible for me than trying to guess what’s wrong, what to do, while knowing, feeling that something is wrong. nothing is more horrible for me than to be ignored or ghosted, or feel like I am all-out taken for granted, that i carry all the weight and emotional labour in a relationship, and that I am not (anymore) worthy of truth or trust - and don’t even get to know why. nothing is more horrible than having your words twisted around in your mouth and speaking against a wall. nothing is more horrible than having to play a game of guesses and interpreting details and small words and signs and smoke signals. that is something that is an imperative for me, and my sanity: healthy communication from both sides. I’ll love and adore you for that. I don’t expect that you reveal all your deepest secrets and scars and any details to me. i am not owed anything, but i expect that you tell me what you want, or need, and clear lines when there is a problem, even in the shortest of words. i want to love you with all i have, I’d better and change my own behaviour to not disappoint, I want to do right by you, but I need you to tell me. maybe even more for your own mental health than my own.
33. something you want to learn
SO MUCH. there is so much to learn. there is an endless well of things i want to learn.
but here some examples of importance (not having to do with my post-grad or if only tangentially): LINDY HOP / dancing in gen, the violin, the guitar, coding in python (because being able to code is like integral to be a scientist esp in biosciences / life science these days BUT also because I really want to be able to code!!!!!!!!), drawing traditionally with more different techniques and something else than hair and human profiles, better singing, languages (so many of them but esp scots gaelic). also i want to get better with plants. you know, i can keep a batch of highly sensitive cells alive for a week but not a plant. ugh. priorities, right?
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galunabeth · 5 months ago
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i’m going to die mad about the way my dumbass neurodivergent brain refuses to do things if they’re too important like yes honey i get it you’re stressed bc it’s overwhelming but not doing ANYTHING is so much worse :/
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norcumii · 3 months ago
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Well that was a bout of PTSD I wasn’t expecting.
Ramblings under the cut so I can find it again later, warnings for: abuse, abusive relationship, probable incoherence, likely oversharing, (urge to) self-harm.
I’ve been dipping my toes back into RvB this week – I’ve seen seasons 1-3 countless times, 4 slightly less but still a lot, and everything else once.
The Ex’s issues included not wanting to venture too far into various media, but he sure did love rewatching what he had seen. That’s part of why once I got free, I made myself sit down and watch the rest – I basically spite-binged seasons 5-13, dissociating through at least the second half because I had so many mental warning bells clanging about how I was misbehaving, cheating by watching ahead without him, how dare I.
Had a shit time sleeping that week, too, but at least the sleep dep was familiar and helped me power through the emotional upset.
Loved the show, too – that doesn’t surprise me in the least, given how I already appreciated the writing and I’ve had several folks singing high praises of the further writing. I had quite a few “holy SHIT” moments, those ‘gotta pause and marvel and breathe “what the FUCK you magnificent ASSHOLES” timeouts,’ y’know, where you gotta stop to walk off some feels and just be awed at writing and performing SKILLS? And that was with the dissociation.
I honestly don’t know how yesterday I stumbled over a set of videos of a gentleman reacting to his first watch of RvB. Of course I immediately went to the super significant episodes, because I was curious as how The Big Moments hit someone else – I watched in a vacuum, squeaking at Tumblr and powering forward before my brain caught up and devoured me.
Anyway, yeah, I’ve been enjoying watching delightfully screechy man react to familiar storylines and jokes, then I realized I desperately wanted to see how he reacted to the end of Season 10, because that was when I had the biggest reaction, personally, and I spent quite awhile chewing over my thoughts and the themes and whatnot. I mean, it’s the end of the major/first storyline, it wraps up YEARS of plot and character arcs, and it’s just fucking balls-to-the-walls AMAZING.
I cackled so much watching this man lose his absolute shit. I was grinning a mile wide when he screeched like an actual banshee and had to take a lap around the room.
I was starting to feel funny as he waxed rhapsodic through the credits. I mean, don’t get me wrong, a lot of what he was saying matched much of my own thoughts at the time when first seeing it, but then he segued into how he’d gotten into RvB via RWBY, and that wasn’t my experience.
(I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so unsettled – I have absolutely no reason to feel wonky about how one gets into a fandom.)
He was still gushing as the post-credit scenes rolled, and I was shook because I don’t think I watched them.
(I’m not surprised – I know I had to stop watching rather abruptly. It was probably super late and I do recall Himself’s shadow looming hard to gnaw at my brain.)
The lovely YouTube gentleman was right back to unending adoration after them, just crying for joy about his love for RWBY and RvB, and I just...started crying.
It wasn’t good crying. It was ugly crying that wouldn’t stop, kept building with that wheezing, rusty-hinge keen that would be a scream if you push from breathing to speaking; crumpling up and finding the old urge to claw spiraling up along with it.
I’m fine. I didn’t, honest.
The emotion is still lurking, even now, after much bawling and a walk to try to redirect whatever the fuck that was. I think the base is a bit of despair, shored up with oceans of grief. Helplessness neutering much of the fury, all wrapped up with threads of sneering incredulity.
I couldn’t understand at first, why I was choking out “We could’ve had this.” I had to puzzle through that bawling which hard experience kept as silent as possible.
We could’ve had this.
This man has so much enthusiastic love for this show. He’s just...JOYOUS about it, open and awed and gleeful.
We never had that. We never could screech in delight about things at each other – any attempts ended in an ugly argument, usually about spoilers (fuck you, dude, if you didn’t want me speculating which you specifically wanted me to be good at in other contexts then don’t start speculating yourself!). Often about words – he had so many words, so many concepts that were taboo, and gods help the poor bastard what stumbled into a synonym Himself thought should be obvious and therefore also taboo instead of a necessary dodge because communication is a thing.
(Was this a concept that was enough degrees separate to satisfy him, or would it lead to a scolding about trying to sabotage his joy? Again. Like always.)
(Not just the scolding, but the demands – how could I be so cruel, WHY had this happened, no – no he wouldn’t accept that I’m too smart to think like that, or I had promised not to do the next door neighbor to it which is as good as promising not to do it either, what was the real reason we’re going to be here until he got his truth. No matter HOW many hours it took.)
We could’ve had this. We could’ve shared things, not Himself serving out appropriate sized dollops of what he liked while I limited myself to whatever I could speculate would be appropriately sized reactions.
I couldn’t enjoy something we shared too much. I couldn’t laugh too loud because it would distract from the moment. His joy always had to come first and how fucking DARE I impinge upon it even one iota?
No, really, I had to confess, and if he didn’t believe the answer it would not be accepted.
I got so tired of lying. I got so tired of being accused of lying when it was truth, and only believed when it was fake.
That’s one of the reasons why arguments went on for hours. I could only grit my teeth and ‘yes sir no sir three bags full sir, obviously I did it to fuck you over sir’ for so long.
My reasons were never good enough.
My joy always ended up being too much.
We could’ve had this – but his world, his joy, was never big enough for anyone but him.
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chelseahawk · 15 days ago
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actually you know i havent had a chance to air out my current existential exasperations bc every therapy session has been about navigating the waitlist and insurance to see someone in outpatient and i just chugged a bunch of coffee because im too exhausted to fight the shit in my head and maybe its something that my roommate said that rubbed me the wrong way. do not get me wrong, i love her. in fact i sometimes don't know how to handle growing attached to people in a healthy way. but shes very methodical and approaches each problem with a ton of persistence, if not a little hardheaded and pessimistic at times. I am quite flighty. I bounce around. I can't stay settled. our conversation shifted (quite naturally) to her last semester of school. and i started talking about how much i'm going to miss the town i'm in. tried not to get emotional, and then really tried not to get emotional when i couldn't explain what home feels like in my own terms. there's still so much i havent even explored here (i havent even gone to dallas that often. maybe once a year. once every two years. ive been to downtown ft worth a grand total of three times). she's... okay not doing everything. she becomes frustrated with herself, but settles almost too easily (in my head) for the "well i work full time/take 4-5 classes every semester" burnout. and im not in school. i feel a tiny bit stupid and ashamed when i talk about school with her or with any of my friends. i get a little self conscious still. and she, of course, bemoaned life after she graduates "what will i do! i already regret choosing my major! at least you don't have to worry, college is a scam" over and over. i tried telling her--and ive finally swallowed this goddamn pill--that... it's good to have regrets in your twenties. i dropped out of classes two weeks before they started because of hospitalization and ive never gone back. and i'm really glad i never went back. i got to learn a lot more. thats really quite a longwinded way to say i want to study ASL, german, spanish, trig or physics, knit two pairs of leg warmers, do the dishes every evening, grow out my hair, bust through the 200 albums i have written in my journal, go to the beach and ATX and kansas, practice guitar, go out to shows, learn how to fix my own car, go to the gym, eat real food once in a while, read on the train, look into my town's radio, climb trees... i can't stay stuck doing one thing. i'm worried i don't want to leave quite so fast because i still have so many streams and lakes to explore. this is the opposite problem of being suicidal and i'd gladly take it over the alternative, but im so prone to burn out and wonder if this is mania or the real me.
#the hardest part about wanting to do all of these things is accepting the fact that i am human and therefore it takes time to#develop hobbies#and along with being human comes the unfortunate ripple effect of the amount (or lack thereof) of self care#i wouldnt even call it self care. self preservation. like actually.#since hanging out with her more ive come to realize i do still feel incredibly dumb. and like a greenhorn. like i got tender feet.#no scars or nothin to prove i know my shit.#but i think i know my shit. i want to learn OTHER shit. i want to do everything under the goddamn sun.#i'm going to pull the ''i'm special. no one else feels this way'' card mostly because i am egocentric as a means#of preserving this childlike enthusiasm. which i am infamous for in my family#i want to devour the world so i can fully understand it. the simone weil is jumping out. bigger than life sort of deal.#unfortunately for me this does mean slowing down... taking things in... digesting and appreciating all life has to offer.#even when its traffic and my AC deciding not to work. or something.#there are lessons in everything and so no. i do not plan to go to school right now. i don't attend lectures.#but i have my spanish+math textbooks and all these books and a guitar and two semi-functioning hands and sixteen hours in the day#i got my car. got my cds. i guess i have friends. i wouldnt mind being alone. it would be easier to focus but less easy to contain#all of this information that im accumulating. you know i might ask (she will get so turned off) if this roommate wants to listen to#albums with me i know she'll lament my music taste but she refuses to show me hers. so that's on her.#i dunno.... alive... quite loquacious. im just NOT a silent person like ive tried to be. i have thoughts man#anyways#log
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gnarlyathotep · a year ago
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now for a really out-there take: the concept of writing a character “OOC” is kind of alien to me, and I want to say “well except in the case of obvious examples like...” but then I stop because I can’t think of an obvious exception. people are fucking weird. I’m constantly surprising people by liking things they don’t expect me to like. your law-abiding grade-school teacher with the turtlenecks and long skirts probably used to be in a biker gang. your super-aloof Edgy McEdge friend probably watches The Notebook every weekend and cries. the most basic-seeming bland polo-shirt-wearing office-job-having person you know probably likes to record videos of themselves jizzing on anime figurines whilst wearing a Sailor Moon outfit.
the thing is that I understand why characters in [most] stories are less contradictory and confusing and dissonant than actual people are... but I don’t think it’s wrong when someone decides to subvert their tropes and write them differently. I think that’s a good purpose for transformative works, in fact, and it strikes me as backwards when people are like “you can’t write [x] character this way because [x] character only behaves [y] way in canon and that means they’d never do [z]”. like, you’re absolutely allowed to believe that and not read any fics where the character does [z], but I don’t get why it’s something the writer needs to fix
I guess I’m just all for characters being written less like characters and more like people, with all the weirdness that that entails
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sukirichi · 6 months ago
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— out of reach | gojo x reader
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request: Girllllll I just read your jealous gojo fic and my heart went 📈📈📈📈💥💥💥 youre now one of my fav writers 🙏🧎‍♀️And the spicy parts 😫😫😫 💖 If your asks are still open, could I please request a fic where GOJO has a size kink 🥺🥺🥺 my 5’1 ass is obsessed with that shizzzz 
pov: you’re gojo’s childhood friend and roommate – which leads to utter chaos – or perhaps utter bliss?
warnings: size kink, lots of teasing, lots of cursing, dirty talk, choking (probably not in the way you think), body worship, lots of size difference scenes, slight manhandling, overstimulation, thigh fucking, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (don’t do this irl guys) + unedited fic :D
notes: idk what happened here LMAOOO but i loved writing this one because i’m short as hell too lol. thanks for this request anon, i hope you like it! <3
word count: 10.5k
masterlist ! 
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If you’re going to be honest, having Gojo as a roommate is something completely unexpected.
Not only are you two from entirely different worlds – him as a jujutsu sorcerer and you as an average human who can’t see curses – but he’s also just someone who is entirely out of your league. He’s respected and looked up to in his field of work, while half of your co-workers don’t even know your name, much less notice you in function parties where you mostly just nibble on sushi before calling it a day and turning back home.
You and Gojo met in elementary school. You could tell from the way he’s surrounded by servants and stern looking adults, firm hands on his small shoulders, that he was different from everyone else.
Apparently, he comes from one of the three big clans in the jujutsu world or whatever. You honestly don’t care about any of that, because Gojo refuses to act maturely about his role in the clan. You still remember how quiet he was on the first day of school, never smiling and keeping to himself despite your persuasion to eat lunch with him or play with him after school in the courtyard.
You miss that Gojo Satoru – the quiet, serious kid who was far too gentle in his actions yet firm in his words and beliefs. When you were still a little girl, you admired how he seemed older than his age, a wistful look in those azure blue eyes of his that you’ve always loved.
To you, Gojo Satoru was your hero. You’ve always been one of the shortest kids in class, and it didn’t help that you really loved pigtails all the way until middle school that made you an easy target from immature people who’s being hit way too fast by puberty and growing each passing day. You never minded your short stature because really, it’s just height, but you couldn’t ignore how your confidence dwindled each day when they called you several array of nicknames.
Too shy to fight back, you’d laugh it off or force a smile.
Gojo wasn’t having any of it. He’d break his silence and immediately pull you to his side (which only made things worse because Gojo was one of the tallest kids in class, further emphasizing how small you are right next to him) before threatening to smack the kids right in the face.
The threat should be enough to land him detention, but because he’s Gojo Satoru, the golden kid everyone loved, they took his word seriously.
At the age of eleven, you started seeing your best friend as your knight in shining armour. Gojo basked in this, growing protective and always glaring at whoever snickered when you walked past them. Sometimes he even bared his teeth to hiss at them, which was honestly so ridiculous now that you think about, though the message – the threat – always came across loud and clear.
So yeah, you love Gojo, you still do.
Years flew by and the two of you grew apart due to work and also as a part of growing up. You still kept in contact, messaging each other once a month to ask the other how they’re doing. His work kept him extremely busy though, and Gojo didn’t want you involved in the dangers of what he’s doing, so he makes sure to keep a safe distance.
Until six months ago, you hear a banging on your door. You’re just about ready to throw hands because your former roommate moved out to live with her stoner boyfriend, leaving you to shoulder all the bills and responsibilities of maintaining a two man apartment.
A sneer forms on your lips as you swing the door open, a scowl already on your face. You assumed it was your roommate who returned to get the pair of lace panties they left in their room, but instead, your childhood friend stands before you, taller (seriously, how has he not stopped growing?) and definitely a lot hotter than the last time you saw him.
One thing leads to another, and now it feels like there was never such distance between the two of you with how easily you both fell back into a comfortable – yet chaotic – rhythm and routine of being each other’s roommate.
Not that you mind, of course. Gojo’s definitely changed a lot from when you were kids. He’s no longer that stiff or sensitive when it comes to others. In fact, it seems like he loosens up a lot more with age, because you can barely recognize the man living under the same roof with you now.
For one thing, Gojo is loud. Like really talkative, won’t shut the fuck up and speaks like he’s in a screaming contest with someone. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking an important phone call or sleepwalking at three in the morning to pee, Gojo is always creating some sort of ruckus.
You’d never admit it out loud, but you loved it. You love him.
He’s definitely a lot more enthusiastic and fun to be with now that both of you have grown up, or in Gojo’s case, simply aged. His maturity reversed backwards because it feels like you’re taking care of a little kid.
Not only does his body clock is practically non-existent, he’s also horrible when it comes to taking care of himself and being punctual with work.
Fortunately for him, you love him, and you both leave for work at the same time. You always wake up earlier to prepare breakfast so you’d both have energy to start the day – although you highly doubt there’s really anything that depletes his endless source of one.
Sleepily walking through the kitchen with your fist rubbing at your eyes, you rummage through the refrigerator for some eggs when you realize there’s none.
Huh, you think to yourself, scratching your scalp. You’re sure that Gojo went grocery shopping last week since it’s his chore to do the outside stuff like buying groceries and throwing thrash, so where did it go?
You open shelf by shelf, checking each corner and shoving cans aside to look for the tray. With a glare, you stand on your tiptoes to pull the pantry open, only to have your mouth fall aghast because it’s all there – right at the back where you can’t reach it!
Fucking Satoru, you grit your teeth while heaving your body up onto the counter. It’s a struggle because not only are your muscles still half asleep, but because the shelf is right in your face, and if you’re not careful enough, you could hit it right with your face and fall over. Of fucking course you know Satoru did this to make fun of you – and now you retract your statement over your best friend.
It’s all a lie.
He’s a pain in the ass. Why do you even bother cooking for him and letting him live literally just a room away when you know he won’t stop pulling shit like this?
Because, the nagging voice in your head tries to mock, he’s your best friend and you can’t really say no to him. This makes you huff as you carefully pull the tray towards you, hooking two fingers at the edge while your other palm grips at the end of the counter for support. No thanks to your short limbs, you’re practically hogging the shelf by now in an attempt to reach it. You look ridiculous, that’s for sure, and you make a mental note to keep Satoru’s windows open tonight so he freezes to death –
“Aw, cupcake,” a sing-song voice emerges from the other side of the room. “You look so adorable. You should’ve woke me up if you need my help.”
“Fuck off, Satoru,” you flip him off. The man only laughs, the rambunctious sound echoing off the walls. It’s way too early in the morning and he’s already so damn loud; something builds up at the back of your head out of frustration already. His grin only gets wider when you finally got the eggs and clutch it your chest, setting it down on the counter while wiping your sweat away from your face. “Freeloader,” you mutter under your breath, ignoring him when he happily skips over to you.
“Ouch,” he places a palm over his chest, although you both know he’s never really affected by anything. “So what’s for breakfast today? You?”
“You know, I can kick you out anytime I want. I’m being extremely nice even going as far to cook you breakfast before you leave for work, so don’t test my patience.”
“Exactly, my best friend is so kind,” Satoru grows the audacity to rest his arm on your head. This triggers a reflexive response from you; shoulders tensing up and hands curling into fists beside you. “I would totally date her if she wasn’t such a temperamental little devil,” you nearly stab him with a fork with his statement, which he thinks he’s being so sly for but you heard it, and you’re most definitely not pleased with it. “Okay, I’m kidding! I’m going to go shower now!”
You roll your eyes at him and heat the pan over with some oil, muttering under your breath that you’re really going to kick him out soon. As if things couldn’t get worse – as if Satoru couldn’t get any worse – he smacks your backside in the process before darting to the showers.
“Gojo Satoru!”
“Morning, best friend, love ya!”
You were right. He is a pain in the ass.
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“You don’t always have to walk me to work.”
“I know.”
“So why’re you still here? I’m not a little kid anymore,” Contrary to your words, you stick closer to Satoru when the morning rush of workers and students begin to crowd the streets. Your best friend notices this with a small smile, his hand resting on the small of your back. “Don’t even try, Satoru.”
“I wasn’t saying anything.”
“I know that look on your face,” you fiddle with the buttons of your uniform, sighing when Satoru follows you inside the bus after tapping your phone for two seats. It’s not a surprise to you anymore that most of your expenses are spent by him, for him, and he lazily sprawls his long limbs across the seat before you pulling you down right next to him.
As much as you hate this man, especially because he smirks at the attention he’s receiving from women – even men – in the bus, you have to admit he’s warm and smells damn good. You bite the inside of your cheeks, looking around in slight self-consciousness before inching a little closer, just to feel his warmth. He’s comforting – irrationally so – so you set your bag between the both of you to keep your sanity. “If you keep doing this, Principal Yaga might fire your ass because you’re never on time.”
“Trust me, cupcake, he won’t. I’m too valuable for that.”
How you saw that coming – you can’t tell anymore. The bus ride is relatively quiet and eventless, with you dozing off every now and then because you’re never a morning person. Thankfully, Satoru is more respectful this time around, lolling your head until it drops to his shoulder. After that, he snakes his arm around your waist before resting it on your thigh as a way to say you don’t have to head bang every damn second and just sleep.
On any other occasion, you would’ve hated it. You always look so small whenever you’re in Satoru’s presence. It doesn’t help that he’s long and lanky, either, his slender fingers effortlessly caressing your thigh while almost your entire body is flushed next to him. But right now, he’s too warm, too soft, and you’re too tired that for just a little bit, you allow yourself to relax.
A beeping wakes you up a moment later. Opening your eyes, you push yourself off Satoru when you see an old lady reaching for the handles. No one gave up their seats for her even as the bus driver asked her to find a seat lest she’d fall.
“Grandma, here, take my seat—” You’re about to stand up and offer it to her when Satoru tugs you by the wrist. Because of your small, wobbly composure, pulling you to him takes little to no effort. You end up on his lap, sitting on him as if you’re nothing but a small, dainty schoolbag. Satoru is clearly enjoying this because you feel him breathily laugh on the back of your neck, charming – annoyingly so – as he gestures to the now empty spot beside him.
“It’s no worries, Grandma. She’ll be fine,” he gestures to you, patting your head like you’re some puppy. “Please, take a seat. The bus is already moving.”
“Satoru, get off me,” You wriggle yourself from his hold, which only ends up in wasted effort because this big oaf doesn’t even budge. He even bounces you on one of his thighs, and you dig your nails into his arms as a silent plead for him to stop. He ignores this, ignores your small whines and the apparent embarrassment that has you debating whether to punch him or hide yourself in the safety of his uniform.
“She’s a feisty little one, isn’t she?”
The old lady watches the two of you banter, giggling behind her wrinkled hands. “You’re an adorable couple.”
“I think so too!”
“You’re so going to pay for this, Satoru,” you grumble, face planted onto your palms. This is it – the worst day of your life. It’s even worse because despite your protests, you have to admit his lap is actually comfortable. You’ve already known this before after countless times of cuddling with Satoru during movie nights, but its different when you’re both out in public. It feels...oddly intimate and maybe even romantic when he rubs soothing circles at your back, almost as if apologizing for this event. Most of all, you just hate the way something pools beneath your stomach at having him so close to you like this. “This is so embarrassing. I’m practically crushing you with my weight.”
“Please, cupcake, you barely weigh anything. I could easily lift you off with just my finger,” when you elbow him in the chest, Satoru only laughs, raising both hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll stop teasing.”
You give up. No one seems to be paying much attention to any of you anyway, so you sigh, letting yourself hide in the crook of his neck as you watch the city pass through the windows. Your body moves as his chest rises and falls from his breathing, the movement oddly comforting. It’s embarrassing – it really is – but at least the grandma was comfortable until Satoru drops you off near your building.
“You don’t have to walk me all the way there.”
“Why not? You don’t want people to see us together or something?”
“No,” you stare at him from the corner of your eye. It’s no secret Satoru is attractive. This bastard knows it too, judging from the way he confidently and arrogantly swaggers next to you, hands shoved deep in his pockets as he walked with no care in the world. “My co-workers keep asking me for your number every time I tell them we’re not dating. It’s getting annoying at this point how they go Satoru this and Satoru that.”
“Am I hearing it right? Is cupcake jealous?”
“I’m not jealous, I’m disgusted,” you correct, “They don’t know how much of a pain you are to have around. They’re so focused with your looks that they completely overlook the fact you can’t even wash your dirty underwear!”
Satoru frowns at this, pointing his finger to you as if you’ve accused him of a huge crime. “Hey, I wash my underwear.”
“Yeah and last time you did, you mixed it with whites! My work uniform turned a stupid shade of blue! Now I can’t picture the colour of your boxers out of my head and it’s giving me a headache!”
“Wow, Y/N,” the smirk on his face and the sudden drop of nicknames lets you know you’ve said something wrong. Even behind his blindfold, you could tell his eyes are just sparkling with amusement. He’s enjoying this way too much. “I never thought you’d ever picture my boxers. I mean, I don’t mind showing it to you if you ask nicely—”
“Ugh, you’re so hopeless. I’m going to work.”
Gojo laughs when you jog away from him. He catches up with you in a matter of seconds, only having to take a few steps forward before he’s right beside you again. You’re unsure if you should be annoyed it’s so easy for him to always be right next to you, and how he almost always is right next to you while you prefer running away. It muddles with your heart and mind so much you pinch the bridge of your nose, trying not to be swayed by the sickeningly sweet sound of his laughter. “I can’t pick you up later, okay? I might work overtime!” (that’s a lie since Gojo prefers shopping and sightseeing)
Both of you know that’s a lie. Gojo never works overtime. He’s going to work for a few hours and so and call playing around with his students as “on-hand learning” before he goes shopping for stupid souvenirs and wild-flavoured mochis, then end his day by sightseeing and coming back home.
“Wasn’t expecting you to,” you mumble, waving goodbye to him as the office doors close. Slowly, Satoru’s grin and enthusiastic farewell fades into view until nothing but the pale, silver walls of your office greets you.
Funny how you claim to hate this man so much, yet the moment he’s out of sight, everything becomes dull and pointless.
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It’s an absolutely shitty day. Your equally shitty boss blames you for something you didn’t even do, all because his incompetent secretary – who you’re sure he’s sleeping with – lost this month’s report and claimed she handed it to you last week when you’re not involved in that kind of work. Logic doesn’t come by them because your boss publicly humiliates and scolds you, calling you all kinds of names until tears are streaming down your face.
You slam the door shut the moment you get home, kicking your shoes off as you head straight to your room. You don’t bother taking your makeup off anymore as you change into a loose shirt and floral cotton shirts, padding to the kitchen after seeing Satoru is well nestled into the couch.
At least someone’s had a good day.
Seeing as the sink is empty, he probably hasn’t eaten dinner. This makes you sigh, because when will he ever learn to look after himself? He’s literally like a child.
Satoru pauses whatever he’s watching before he hovers over you, head tilted to the side as he gazes at you with curiosity. You ignore him and begin to set down some bowls and chopsticks for dinner, all the while Satoru is studying every inch of your tightly pulled face. “Bad day?” he concludes.
“Hmm.”
“Bad day it is then,” he nods to himself. “I can cook dinner, if you want.”
“And have you burn my apartment? No thanks,” you scoff, pushing him aside to retrieve the pans when you see that he’s placed them above again, even after you’ve reminded countless times to just leave it near the holders in the sink. “Ugh, why do you keep putting the pans in this shelf? You know I can’t reach this. I’ve had enough with you pulling pranks on me, and don’t think I’ve forgotten you placed my shampoo above the shower head today, you idiot,” you snarl and hop over the counter again to get the pans, trying your best to fight back the tears that are threatening to fall. “You’re really bothersome, you know that?”
“Then why don’t you kick me out?” he challenges, completely oblivious to how you’re struggling – both physically and emotionally. “You always complain about me being a nuisance here, but you’re not really doing anything to keep me out.”
“Because where else would you go?”
“Technically, I have a room back at the Institute.”
“Yeah, but because you’re so stupid and reckless that you got kicked out of your own home,” you spat out, and you watch as Satoru raises a brow at your statement. Banter is common between the both of you, but something about the intensity of your gaze lets him know you’re serious this time around. “I don’t even know how Yuuji puts up with you. That poor Megumi is right when he says you’re insufferable. You’re good for nothing!”
Satoru scoffs, “Fine, if you hate me that much, why didn’t you just say so earlier? I could easily pack my bags and go since I’m just making everything harder—” Satoru doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying when your hand over the counter that acts as support slips under you, and you fall, legs bent awkwardly while you scream, preparing yourself for the impact. The pan is long forgotten, your only thought was oh my god, so this is how I die.
But it never came, and you keep your eyes shut tight even as warm hands cup your ass. Satoru is breathing hard under you. Finally gaining the courage to crack an eye open, your breath halts when you see that he’s sitting on the floor, with you safely nestled between him.
Satoru has always had pretty eyes, but it’s rare he takes off his blindfold off even when he’s home. This is one of those rare occurrences that he seems like a normal human, dressed in a gray sweatshirt that hands low from his collarbones and magnetic blue eyes staring right back at you. His touch is gentle, almost as if he’s afraid to hurt you, and his voice that is usually loud and teasing comes out breathy and hesitant.
“Are you okay?”
Your gaze drops down to his lips. He’s close, so close, that if you just lean a little closer you could – you snap out of your daze. “Get off me.”
“Cupcake, you’re the one who’s on top of me,” his voice falls an octave lower, eyes flitting down to your clothing – or rather the lack of it – before Satoru takes a deep breath. “Did you really have to wear that?”
“I have the right to wear whatever I want in the comfort of my own home.”
“I wasn’t complaining,” he raised a brow, this time completely in control of himself as he gazes back up at you with a burning gaze. You see nothing but the way one corner of his lips tilt up, almost teasing, and he looks so much like a shit-eater that you feel heat crawl down your spine.
You push yourself off him but your bent foot behind you slips, and you fall forward with your hands clutching his strong shoulders. Satoru catches your leg behind you, drags it forward until your knee is pressed in between one of your warmth, very much still enjoying the way you wriggle away from his hold. He knows his effect on you – but you deny this wholeheartedly.
“Careful, cupcake. This isn’t a slip and slide.”
“I hate you so much,” you bare your teeth at him, slapping his chest until he finally lets go of you. Turning your back to him, you pick up the pan and begin preparing your dinner, muttering curses under your breath as you heat up the stove. “I’m kicking you out tomorrow.”
“Why not now?”
“Eat your damn dinner first.”
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Dinner after that is awkward. Although Gojo is someone who can wolf down his meal in three seconds, he takes his time in eating to start conversation with you. Sometimes he asks decent questions like how your day was or he’d talk about something stupid, but he’s quiet the whole time. He even volunteers to do the dishes before retreating to his room, coating the house in silence.
It almost feels like you’re all alone over again.
You’ve gotten so used to him being an utter mess everywhere that when he’s not trying to piss you off and actually giving you the much needed peace, you begin to hate it. Memories of the rude things you’ve said to him a while ago play and in your head, and you bang your head against the wall repeatedly.
How are you supposed to apologize to Satoru now?
The answer doesn’t come until you stare at your walls, wide awake at midnight. The house is still eerily silent and you don’t stop shuffling around your bed in discomfort. Many times, you wished that Satoru would shut up and leave you alone, but now that he’s actually done that, it feels weird. Uncomfortable. It feels wrong.
With a grunt, you kick off the sheets and carefully tread to his room, knocking lightly in case he’s already sleeping. “Satoru?” you call out, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. “Are you awake?”
You’ve seen Satoru angry as kids before, but what would he be like now? Would he still want to be your friend? Would he still annoy you by hiding your things somewhere you can’t reach? Or would he be the who is now out of reach? If he leaves...who’s going to walk you to work? Who’s going to complain he doesn’t want to do groceries but buys you things you don’t ask for but want anyway? Who’s going to keep teasing the living daylights out of you if not him?
All these thoughts claw at the back of your mind until your bottom lip trembles. You hate how weak you feel; how you’re never careful with your words.
You never meant it when you said all that.
Your train of thought is cut off when the door swings open, revealing an equally tired-looking Satoru. At the sight of you peering up at him with glossy eyes, he pushes the door wider and steps closer to you, his large hands cupping your face as he leans down in worry. “Cupcake,” his brows pinch together, “Did something happen? Is something wrong?”
“I just wanted to apologize for everything I said,” you blurt out, “I was just tired from work and my boss was being shitty, so I wasn’t totally myself that time and I’m really sorry I took my anger out on you. I didn’t mean it when I said you’re insufferable and that I’m kicking you out so – yeah,” you breathe out, trailing your gaze downwards to stare at your feet instead. It’s difficult to look him in the eye right now. When you finally gain courage to speak again, it barely comes out as a whimper, your hands delicately tugging at his shirt. “Please stay. I like having my best friend around here.”
Satoru doesn’t answer.
You’re about to look up at him just in case you’ve said something wrong, or worse, he refuses to forgive you, but then – “Yeah, I know you wouldn’t kick me out. You’re too much of a darling to say no to me.”
Sigh. Satoru laughs when he sees your shoulders deflate, absolutely shattered in exhaustion. Hiding your smile to now show him you’re relieved, you punch his chest that really feels like a fly had accidentally flew into him. “Way to ruin the mood, Satoru. And here I thought I could have a serious conversation with you for once.”
“Apology accepted,” he beams, tilting your chin upwards so you could look at him. Even in the darkness of his room, his eyes glow, leaving you hypnotized in its beauty. “Plus, I think I’m the one who should apologize. You’re right; I haven’t been the best roommate and I am a freeloader,” he scratches the side of his head in thought. “But I do buy you food all the time though.”
“Yeah, with my money,” you counter, but you don’t really care anymore at this point. You’re beyond elated you’re both fine now, and you shyly gesture to his big, warm bed that suddenly looks so comfortable. “Can I stay here for tonight?”
“You want Satoru’s bear hug?”
“Yes, I do.” There’s no hesitation in your words and you don’t complain anymore when he easily picks you up like a ragdoll using only one arm. He’s surprisingly gentle when he places you both down on the bed, sheets warm and soft as it blankets over you.
It would be perfect – except it’s so damn awkward.
Gojo’s long limbs are everywhere. Your face is pressed into his chest, both your legs tangled together. His arm is sprawled over the curve of your hip, his hand nearly grazing your ass that’s barely covered by the thin material of your shorts, but if he shifts, he’ll end up cupping the back of your thighs which is equally uncomfortable.
He seems to be stuck in the same position because you’re so small, and your knees are grazing his groin. Had he known you’re going to sleep with him, he would’ve worn underwear or even boxers under his sweatpants.
He’s never told you before, but he prefers to sleep in the nude. Satoru only picked up the nearest pair of pants when he heard you knock, and even then, he didn’t have the time to wear a shirt.
Your breath is hot on his skin and he’s so sensitive and aware of all your movements. Satoru clears his throat awkwardly, shifting until his arm lightly holds your back instead, but then he pulls away as if he’s touched fire when he’d unknowingly fiddled with your bra clasp instead. It’s so painfully awkward that Satoru chuckles above you, while you scrunch your nose, silently praying to the heavens above that he won’t hear how loud your heart is beating right now.
“Why is it so hot in your own room?”
“Maybe it’s time you get me an AC.”
“You wish, Satoru,” you mumble beneath him, making yourself as comfortable as you can with your cheek resting on his bicep. It’s not the softest pillow considering he’s pretty muscular, but he’s warm and smells like mint spice nevertheless. “You’re really not going to put on a shirt?”
Satoru sighs, a long and loud one that is extended for dramatic purposes. Suddenly, he pushes your knee off of him, grimacing and thanking the darkness that you can’t see how much he’s struggling right now. “Cupcake, this is hard for me as much as it is for you. You’re barely wearing anything.”
“Since when have you cared about what I wear?”
“I’m a man, Y/N,” is what he reasons with, “You’re lucky it’s me. Had it been someone else and you crawled into their bed wearing these—” Satoru pinches the waistband of your shorts, and you squeal in protest, only making him laugh afterwards before he lets it go and the material snaps back at your skin, “—poor excuse of what you call shorts, I can’t guarantee they’ll give you a peaceful night.”
You know exactly what he’s trying to hint at. Still, it’s hard to believe that Satoru is capable of seeing you that way.
It’s not that you feel you’re unattractive. You know you’re pretty and have been out on many dates, but it’s easy to feel that you’re not sexy when you have the height of a thirteen year old and you’ve been constantly chastised about it.
Satoru’s not-compliment compliment has your heart skipping a beat, and you scoff in response. “Shut up,” you warn lamely, “I want to sleep.”
“Then let’s sleep, cupcake.” You don’t know if it’s because you’re utterly exhausted that you doze off seconds later or if Satoru’s words just held power in them, but soon all thoughts of anything unwanted drifts out the window, his arms keeping you close, completely safe and sound until the worst nightmares couldn’t even come close.
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Hot. It’s extremely hot.
You crack an eye open to try and find the source of this uncomfortable heat, but you freeze when you realize you can’t feel your muscles from the chin down. Panic rises in your throat once you see the current predicament you’re in, and a scream rips through your throat so loud that the birds outside scurry away in a flurry.
You’re wrapped in Satoru’s blanket and comforter, rendering you unable to move because of how he’d treated you like a burrito wrap. Even your toes are captured inside this hell, and only your head is able to wriggle side to side.
“Satoru!”
The culprit comes out of the shower a split second later, his hair dripping wet and only a towel hanging low from his lips. If you weren’t so hell-bent on killing him, you would’ve been speechless at the way water drips from his hair down to the curves of his abs, going down down down into a place only your darkest imaginations could take you.
Satoru bends over in laughter as he whips out his phone, jumping from angle to angle and side to side to take photos of you. “Fuck,” he howls, slapping his thigh while you snarl in an attempt to break free. “You’re a lot cuter than I thought you’d be.”
“Satoru! Get me out of here!”
“No, this is way too gold. I’m sending these to my students.”
“Satoru, I’m serious!” The devil incarnate himself falls deaf to your please.
Maybe it’s because the violent intent has coursed through your veins so strongly that a surge of energy and strength overcomes you, and soon, you’ve rolled out of the blanket. The fresh air nipping at your heated skin is most welcomed, but right now, you had a mission to fulfil: obliterate Gojo Satoru.
The platinum haired man is still laughing to himself, too distracted in scrolling through the best photos to send to his students that he doesn’t notice you escaping and zooming straight right at him.
The momentum is enough to catch him off guard until you end up on top of him, short arms clawing your way through to snatch his phone. Satoru yelps when his phone lands out into the living room and your hands come down to choke him. You don’t have plans to kill him, but you want to hurt him enough to remind him you’re not someone he can fuck with.
You’ve just about had enough of this man and you’re so sick of him!
Satoru yells out a “Hey!” when you let out a battle cry, using your legs to kick him back when he tries to sit up. Your plan backfires when your hands slip down his wet skin and you fall face forwards, hands barely touching the ground for support when your lips come crashing down on his.
He stills underneath you. It takes a moment for you to realize that holy shit, you’re kissing him and his lips are so soft that has you scrambling back, but Satoru doesn’t let you.
His large hand comes up at the back of your neck to pull you forward. The sudden movement makes you gasp, and Satoru slips his tongue inside when you do so. You no longer remember how you got here or try to make sense of what’s going on, because he feels so good, tastes so good that you bury your nails in his hair while he ravishes your mouth.
You’re so tiny that his hand cups your entire buttcheek almost possessively, a low growl emanating deep in his throat when your tongue eagerly intertwines with his. Satoru tastes like heaven and everything about the kiss is sloppy – tongue clashing with one another and teeth nibbling at the other’s lips. It’s clear both of you can’t get enough of one another as you moan in his mouth, shamelessly grinding on his crotch, suddenly thankful that you’re always wearing thin clothes when you feel him harden underneath you.
“Fuck, baby,” he pulls away to breathe, a string of saliva connecting the both of you. “Yeah, just like that,” There’s something empowering about the way he pants at your ministrations, especially when you roll your hips faster across his erection. “Keep going, baby, you’re doing – fuck – so well.”
You smirk at his praises, latching your teeth on his neck to suck marks on them. Satoru groans at the same time you muffle your moans through his skin, his hands sliding under your shirt to tug the cups of your bra down. You nearly lose it when he pinches your nipple, bolts of electricity running down your spine at the contact. A moan breaks through your lips just as you come right there and then, the wetness of your sudden orgasm barely hidden in your flimsy underwear.
“Feel good?” he teases and drags your shirt down to the other side, but the post-nut clarity hits. And when it does, it hits hard.
Fuck. You just came from Satoru’s simple touches, and he’s so unsatisfied, still painfully hard underneath you but nothing but panic and regret washes over you like a strong tidal wave. Suddenly, you grow lightheaded as you push yourself off him, fixing your bra while ignoring the confused and hurt look on his face.
“I gotta go to work,” you run out the room, feeling your body tremble as Satoru runs after you. “Make yourself breakfast. I’ll eat on the way out.”
“Y/N, wait!”
You know you’ve just ruined everything – that nothing will ever be the same after that – but you’re scared, utterly and remorsefully so, that you slam the door right in his face as if you don’t have any idea how much you broke him.
You’ll never forget the way Satoru’s face fell when you left.
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Just as you thought, nothing is the same after that. The tension is so thick around the apartment you make an effort and go out of your way just to avoid him and the apartment completely.
It’s cowardly – you know this much – but do you ever try to fix the friendship you cherish but shattered completely? You don’t. You don’t because it only crashes down onto you now that maybe your feelings for him aren’t just platonic, after all. It’s even worse because you touch yourself at the thought of him filling you up when he’s asleep, all because you want him so bad and the mere presence of him has your brain malfunctioning.
It isn’t entirely sexual either. Yes, you want to fuck him badly, but it scares you down to the core even more because you want so much more than that.
Now you understand why you always say he’s a bother but never asked him to leave. It’s because you like him, actually romantically interested in him. It makes sense now why you always felt so annoyed whenever your co-workers asked for his number, or how you’re immediately pissed off when Satoru talks about this hot woman he saw at work. You always chalk it up to an excuse you just hate how he can’t keep in his pants, but it isn’t true at all.
It’s because you actually like him – and you’re at a loss on what to do or how to deal with it.
The next few days feels like hell. Satoru isn’t stupid; he knows you’re avoiding him. He stops teasing you eventually and even buys takeout all the time when you lock yourself up in your room right after work, refusing to cook dinner or even eat all so you’d be spared the torture of looking at him.
He’d knock at your door and ask you to eat, but other than that, he’s respected your distance.
You feel like the most terrible person on earth. You don’t miss the way dark circles line under his eyes or how he’s lost his spark, barely even speaking to you when you’ve come or about to leave for work.
You’re alone the whole ride, as well, and it only dawns on you how lonely you are when Satoru isn’t always annoying you all the time.
But it doesn’t make sense. Why is he so bothered by it? Didn’t he regret it? It’s painfully clear you’re not Satoru’s type. You’ve seen the women he dated before, and you’re not close to them so why does he seem like he’s struggling with this as well? Or maybe...he’s just sad that his friend is avoiding him.
Yeah, that has to be it.
Satoru is a man. He was probably turned on at that time, but after giving some thought about it, he probably wants to keep his distance too. He’d be insane if he ever actually wants to date you – his best friend out of all people – because he’s Gojo Satoru and he could literally have everyone else.
You don’t care that you’re a coward.
You don’t care that Satoru is sad to see you this way.
You don’t care because you know he’ll reject you, you know he’ll be weirded if you admit your feelings for him. To him, you’re like his little sister. There’s just no way you two would work out. For now, you have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. You just need some time to get over your feelings for him, and when you’re confident you won’t fall for him again, you’ll mend your friendship.
You just need time.
“So, Y/N, you still don’t want to give us your friend’s number?”
“Yeah, Y/N, you should share it,” your co-worker encourages by jabbing her shoulder to yours. It’s a lazy Friday night and the staff went out for dinner. You don’t usually come to these hangouts since dinner with Satoru is always much more fun, but he’s the last person you want to think about now, so you happily join them. Now, though, you’re starting to regret ever coming here. “If he’s really single like you said, then it shouldn’t be a big deal to ask for it.”
“Well, since you want it so badly, why don’t you ask him directly for it instead?” you snap, feeling anger begin to trickle. All you wanted was just one day where you don’t have to think of him, but of course they had to bring him up. It’s also annoying how they can never seem to get the message across that you don’t want them dating him. “Why do I have to be the messenger?”
“We haven’t seen him much. Doesn’t he always walk you to work?”
“He’s been busy with his job, that’s all.” And also because I’m avoiding him – so now he’s avoiding me too.
“He’s a teacher, right?”
“Oh, come on, guys, don’t be so dense,” your senpai chugged her drink rather loudly, catching the attention of your nosy co-workers who wouldn’t stop pestering you for his number. “Look at how uncomfortable she looks. It’s obvious she doesn’t want you guys to be involved with her friend for a reason. Think of how weird it is for her too if ever her co-worker and best friend dated. She’s going to feel like a third wheel.”
“I’m not—”
“That makes sense,” your co-worker nodded beside you, “Are you sure you just don’t like him though?”
“Ew, why would I?” the food began to taste bitter through your lies, “He may be tall and attractive, but as his roommate, I’ve seen his ugly side. Satoru is a complete slob and can’t even cook to save his life.”
“I don’t mind cooking for him all the time if I were to be his little housewife.”
“That’s never gonna happen,” your words came out harsher than it was, and you laugh it off with a wave of your hand when your co-workers’ eyes widened. “I’ve been living with him for six months and he’s never brought anyone home or told me he’s going on a date. I told you already, he’s a no strings attached kind of guy. He’s nothing but a one night stand.”
“You have to admit he’s still sexy though.”
Right. You hide your groan through another shot because there’s no way of convincing them otherwise. As much as you hate to admit, you’re actually jealous on how freely they could talk about him like that, but then again, it’s not like you and Satoru were dating – or would ever date, for that matter.
They start to leave one by one when it starts to get late, leaving only you who’s still desperate to avoid Satoru. Nothing prepares you for when the sky darkens and a storm comes pouring just as you’ve left the closing shop, the rain drenching and soaking your clothes through and through. Running under the nearest tree for shelter, you shiver. It’s cold – way too cold – and curse yourself for not bringing a darned umbrella.
The nearest bus stop is like what, fifteen to twenty minutes away? Your teeth are chattering and your legs are shaking, and you fumble through your phone as you dial a number you know by heart before you even realize what you’re doing. “S-Satoru?”
“Y/N,” the surprise is unmasked in his voice, something shuffling in the background before it falls silent. “Is everything okay?”
“Uhm, are you busy right now? It’s fine if you are, I’m just—”
“I’m training with Yuuji, but what is it?”
“Listen, I,” you inhale sharply when coldness bursts through your body, making you shiver and press yourself closer to tree to get away from the rain. Above you, thunder crackles before the rain grows heavier and angrier. “I forgot to bring an umbrella and I’m absolutely soaked right now. The nearest bus stop is fifteen minutes away and all the buildings here look so shady—”
“I’ll be on my way. Text me where you are,” You nod and thank him, too cold and numb to realize you’ve just broken days of silence. You lose track of time under there, hugging yourself until your lips turn blue. It doesn’t take long before Satoru shows up minutes later, his hair equally drenched and sticking flat to his eyes free from his blindfold while he pants, hand on his knees. “Thank goodness you’re safe. I rushed here so fast I forgot to bring an umbrella.”
After seeing Satoru drenched like that, something snaps within you. He doesn’t seem bothered by the fact the rain is unforgiving as it slaps the pavement, and your heart breaks when you see that he’s more concerned for you – even after you’ve given him the silent treatment. “You idiot! Now you’re soaking wet too, you’re going to get sick!”
“Highly unlikely,” he shrugs. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
“But what about—” Satoru suddenly carries you before draping his coat over your head, running until he found a cab to hail. He immediately asks the driver to turn up the heater while you tremble on top of him, not caring anymore that you’re sticking so close to him for heat.
Satoru doesn’t let you go all the way inside the apartment. He sets you down on the couch where you take off your wet clothes in haste, too cold with teeth chattering that you silently take the hoodie and boxers Satoru offers you, making sure to keep his gaze averted the whole time. Once fully dressed, you snuggle back into the sofa’s comfort, stiffening when the couch dips beside you.
Not a moment later, Satoru towel-dries your hair, leaving your mouth and throat dry with guilt. Even after you’ve unnecessarily been a bitch to him, he’s still so kind with you.
“Thank you for coming.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Satoru...” you twiddle with your thumbs just as he starts to ruffle the towel in your hair, making sure to squeeze water out of the strands as he dries it. “About what happened the other day—”
“It didn’t happen if you don’t want it to,” his voice is cold’ monotonous and so emotionless you’re rendered speechless. “You can forget about it.”
“I...”
“You regret it, right?” he’s done with drying your hair, and he stands up to place the wet towels in the sink as you watch him stride all the way there. He’s changed his clothes too; looking comfortable in a plain white shirt and some grey sweatpants, looking every bit the domestic boyfriend you’ve always wanted but can never have. “It’s fine. We can forget about it and go back to normal,” to emphasize his point, Satoru winks at you, though it does nothing but make your heart sink.
“What if I don’t want to forget it?” your voice is small; hesitant and wavering with fear. “What if...the only reason I pulled away is because I wanted more of you?”
Satoru’s back freezes as he sets the towel aside. At this point, your heart is pulsing on your tongue, and you dig your nails onto your thighs when Satoru sits down next to you, right next to you. He’s silent the whole time; eyes calculatedly piercing through yours. Your breath hitches when his hands that are burning hot against your cold skin cups your jaw before his thumb runs across your lips, his eyes turning dark at your reactions.
“And what if I said I felt the same way?”
“I,” you gasp, closing your eyes because it all feels so surreal. “I like you, Satoru. I like you a lot and I—” he doesn’t let you finish. Soon, you find yourself in his lap with his hands cupping your cheeks while he smashes his lips onto yours.
Satoru is absolutely feral. He’s breathing hard and almost angry, even, with the way his teeth are biting down to nibble on your lips. You moan when he drags you closer, your clothed centre rubbing on his thigh with delicious friction. “You have no idea,” he rasps down on your lips, “how much I’ve fucking liked you ever since we were kids,” Satoru pushes his hoodie aside, revealing your sweet neck to him, and he doesn’t waste his time in sucking and abusing the poor flesh so he can mark you as his. “I’ve always wanted you, Y/N, it’s always you, always you.”
You fist his hoodie when Satoru sinks his teeth down into the juncture of your neck, his hands curious and exploring every inch of your body. He knows you’re naked underneath his clothes, but it’s a different thing when he actually feels your breasts right on his palm. Satoru tweaks the hardened bud in his fingers, growling when you moan at the contact and use his thigh to get off.
“You—” you gasp as you expose your neck to him, wild and needy as you keep rubbing your heat over his thigh. “—talk way too fucking much,” you scold, finally pushing his lips away from your neck. Satoru chuckles at your eagerness but you silence him by flinging his boxers off of your body and somewhere far away, exposing your heat slick with arousal right in front of him. His pupils blow in excitement, hands coming up to grab at your hips, but his attention is taken away when you nibble on his ear to whisper, “Shut up and fuck me.”
The simple command is enough to make his patience snap. In a flash, you’re pinned underneath him, whining and moaning when his finger meets no resistance as he slips it inside. “You’re that needy, huh?” he laughs even louder when you lose it, humping yourself on his finger because it’s not enough.
“Satoru,” you beg, clutching his bicep when he adds another finger in. “More.”
His fingers are so long, hitting places that your small ones could never reach. He begins to scissor his way in, his fingers deliciously rubbing against your velvety walls while pumping them inside and out in a speed that causes you to squelch around him.
It’s absolutely lewd how you’re eagerly spread out before him, but your head is clouded with lust, no longer hindered by shyness out of your need to cum. Your chest is rising heavily, his thumb now rubbing against your clit as he coaxes you to cum. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he kisses your cheeks, eyelids, nose, anywhere but your lips, his voice so gentle and innocent as if he’s not knuckle deep inside you. “Tell me how you want me.”
“Inside,” you whine, gasping when he brushes against a really sensitive spot that has you clamping down on him. “‘Toru, fuck, just fuck me.”
“Beg for it,” he smiles against your skin, relentless and harsh as he keeps pushing inside you. You feel him everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Another finger adds in until you’re dripping enough on his palm and staining the couch, but neither of you care. “I said, beg for it.”
“No,” you hold back, nearly crying out when he pulls your fingers out of you. That sudden emptiness is back again, but you don’t want to beg. You’ve never begged another man before, and this won’t be the first time you’ll be doing so either. You refuse to let him have the upper hand despite the crystal clear fact you’re already soaking wet for him, but because you’re stubborn, you only fumble with his sweatpants to spring his cock free.
He’s already dripping with pre-cum from the slit, his cock hard and angry. Despite his arousal, Satoru stops you from going further, using only one hand to trap both your wrists. “Beg for it,” he demands again, his other fist already pumping down on his shaft.
You nearly cry at the sight. Both of you are aware that Satoru is capable of pleasuring himself, but it’s not that easy for you. Your small, dainty fingers will never be parallel to the pleasure his long cock could give you. All you had to do was beg for it. He’s right there, within reach, if only you’d just –
Impatient for your answer, Satoru takes you by the hips and discards your hoodie in the process, sinking you down his cock, inch by delicious inch. You don’t hold back from the sensual and high-pitched moan that leaves your lips. He’s long, and the tip of his cock just about brushes your cervix when he bottoms out. He feels so good, so warm and huge and filling you up right where you want him to be. Your head falls down on his shoulder as you begin to roll your hips, but Satoru has had enough.
“Fuck, look at you,” he presses on the bulge of his cock visible through your abdomen. “You’re so fucking small – how do you take me so well? I could ruin you. Do you want that? Do you want me to ruin you?”
“Yes, yes, fuck.”
“You think you can just leave me hanging like that, huh?” he slaps your ass, eliciting another moan from you and making you clench around his cock. Satoru falters for a moment. Before you can react, he stands up, your legs wrapped around his waist with nothing but his tip hitting inside you. “You’ve been so fucking mean – leaving me wanting you like that and ignoring me for days. Do you think you deserve this, huh?” Satoru kicks his door open at the same time he loosens his hold around your ass, making you slide down his length the next second.
“Oh, fuck,” you cry out just as Satoru begins to bounce you, your breasts following the motion of him fucking deep into you. “Fuck, Toru, that’s too—”
He’s so eager to fuck you, to make a mess out of you and have you losing your mind over his cock that he doesn’t even wait until you’re both on the bed. You no longer register when your back hits the pillow, or how your arms are frozen when he pins it above your head.
“You’re so beautiful,” he praises as he watches you clench around him. You’re so small and his eyes zero in on the way your abdomen bulges then flattens again every time he pounds into you, rolling his hips in a way that has you screaming and thighs quaking. “Beautiful, beautiful, perfect,” the moment his hands grip at your hips to pin you down, you know he’s not going to stop. And you don’t want him to.
Satoru latches his lips around your right breast, gently grazing his teeth over it while his other hand pinches and rolls the pebbled nipple between his fingers. He feels so good – and you’re crying already by the time you wrap your legs around him to pull him closer.
The room is filled with the smell of sex, the sound of skin slapping against skin combined with his breathy grunts and your moans like heaven on his ears. Satoru wants you to feel how much he loves you – how much he adores you – and the pace he sets is torturous. He snaps his hips against yours and presses down on the bulge of his cock through your belly, chuckling when you tighten more around him.
Your head lols to the side, tears falling down your pretty face because of how rough he’s being. But you don’t complain, not when he’s filling you in so deep and he’s kissing you everywhere, touching you everywhere, making you feel nothing else and nobody else but him.
“You’re amazing,” he rasps, watching the way your tight cunt sucks him in greedily as if you don’t want him to go anywhere else. “You take me in so well – you really want me to destroy you, huh?”
“Satoru, please,” you finally plead, “I-I’m cumming, I want you, I need you, oh,” you squeal when he finally lets your arms free. You look so precious, so innocent, and he doesn’t let up his pace. He plants his feet into the ground and his strokes begin to grow sloppy, your tight walls encouraging him to go faster, go deeper.
If possible, Satoru is only even more fuelled with the way you look so precious and innocent in that moment. His touch is gentle in comparison to the way he’s mercilessly plowing into you, using his thumb to wipe away the tears streaming down your cheeks. He knows he’s too big for you, that much is obvious from how much you’re already overstimulated just by his size, but your nails sink down on the flesh of his ass as a silent plead for more.
“Fuuuuck, I’m so close!”
“Yeah?” He fondled your clit, loving the sight of your small body creaming down on his cock. “Come for me, sweet girl. I want to feel you coming on my cock. Come on, tell me you’re mine. You’re made me for aren’t you?”
“Yes, Satoru, fuck,” you squeal, throwing your head back for a second when he keeps hitting your g-spot that has you seeing stars. Your toes curl and your hands fist the sheets behind you as he keeps impaling you with his cock right then and there.
You looked perfect; so perfect to him that he’s basically using you for his own pleasure at this moment. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, back arching and nipples brushing against his chest.
In that moment, you grow needy to have him even closer, tilting up to blindly search for his lips. Satoru complies; leaning down and leaving open mouthed breathy kisses that’s a mix of you moaning and crying around him, while he struggles to do so when he’s cursing at the feeling of you coating his cock with your juices. Satoru looks down at your tiny frame trapped in his arms, his voice husky as he groans once he saw both of your arousal absolutely leaking out of your wet cunt.
He’s so close but you’re already over the edge, scratching at his back at the overstimulation. You’re still so sensitive from when you came and Satoru doesn’t slow one down one bit. He loses his rhythm as his thrusts go sloppy, and Satoru buries his face in your neck as his cock twitches inside you until he bursts with his cum leaking out of your hole.
Satoru’s arms give out beneath you, his chest colliding with yours but not enough that he’s crushing you with his weight. You’re both breathing hard and panting, his dick softening inside you.
He pulls back a moment later to slide out his sensitive cock, wincing while he watches pools of cum gather in your pussy before it drips out. It isn’t until he’s witnessing the mess he’s made he realizes how you’ve been so good for him; taking him all the way in despite your quivering frame. It dawns on him now just how tiny you are when he pulls you close to him; you’re practically hanging off his chest with how small your body is.
He wonders how you’re able to fit all of him, but he’s grateful nevertheless. Satoru shows his appreciation by peppering kisses all over your face, his hand snaking down to caress your inner thighs.
“Hmm,” you moan into the kiss, jolting when his knuckles brush against your sensitive clit. “Satoru, no,” you whine while pushing his hand away, and he shushes you with another kiss. “’M too sensitive, please...”
“It’s fine, cupcake, it’s fine,” his nickname for you is back again, and you lean closer to him just as he begins to massage your sore legs. “You did so well for me, cupcake, you know that? You’re such a good girl for me,” too fucked out to have a comprehensive answer, you only nod in response, spreading your legs open again and ignoring the warm stickiness between your thighs as Satoru kneads your abused flesh. You feel him kiss your temple before he leaves to get a towel and cleans you up. Meanwhile, you’re so tired you’re about to doze out in his bed.
“Hey,” he soothes, bundling you up in his arms until you’re tucked in the safety of his body. So small, he coos inside his head, watching as you fold yourself even smaller while your eyes flutter. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” you sigh into his shoulder, “I feel good. Thank you.”
Satoru doesn’t really know what you’re thanking him for. He feels like he’s the one who’s mostly indebted to you after everything you’ve done for him. You’ve already fallen asleep before he gets the chance to tell you how he feels, so Satoru only covers you both under his blanket, making sure there’s no more space between you out of fear you’ll distance yourself from him again.
But he doesn’t have to worry about that because you’re right next to him, and you’re never out of reach.
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frogtanii · 4 months ago
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[buckle up; this one is a long one (1.6k words)]
things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.
she was supposed to show up, apologize “sincerely,” and the boys, her boys, were supposed to welcome her with open arms and swiftly discard of you.
instead, she was sitting in the back of a cramped police car with two pigs, one of which had a horrible b.o. problem and an affinity for sauerkraut.
it was so frustrating.
and, of course, it was all your fault.
you’d been blocking her from true happiness ever since the beginning when you’d first met in middle school. it was crazy because you’d actually seemed nice; kind, understanding, and you didn’t judge her for what her father did to her mother or for how she acted out because of that.
sure, you were a little weird and sometimes you could be downright rude to other kids in your class but you cared for her in a way that no one else had before.
(un)fortunately, you didn’t come alone — you were a packaged deal. your childhood friend, daishou, came into her life right along with you. she didn’t mind at first; daishou was fun when he wanted to be but he was mostly full of snarky comments and sarcastic quips.
the three of you spent all your time with each other; from playing at the playground to helping her begin her makeup youtube channel in 8th grade.
you all got along pretty well up until you got to highschool. once there, you threw yourself into your studies, sort of retracting yourself from her and daishou.
how selfish.
she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by you—you knew how bad she was at making friends and you didn’t even care, leaving her all alone to fend for herself.
well, not all by herself.
daishou was a constant. no matter where she was, or how alone she was feeling, he was there to provide entertainment at the most, and his presence at the least.
it wasn’t always the healthiest, most functional friendship, she could admit that. there were weeks that daishou would choose to ignore her for no apparent rhyme or reason, citing his explanation as he just didn’t feel like it.
obviously it sucked but he was her only friend, ever since you so cruelly abandoned them. i mean, you still ate lunch with them every day and invited them over to study and hang out, but it was not the same.
with you so absent, she grew closer and closer to daishou to the point she was spending almost every waking moment with him. and, as the story so goes, she fell for him, head over heels.
she knew it was a bad idea, if their friendship was anything to go off of but she didn’t care. she was desperate for love and physical affection and he seemed willing to at least give her the latter.
after she decided to confess, nerves all the way in her throat and a box of chocolates behind her back, daishou took her virginity in the back of his ford fusion, hard, fast and nothing like she’d imagined.
the next day, she’d cornered you in the library (where you always seemed to be) to tell you the good news. your face was unusually blank as she detailed the best night of her life to you, your response being less than stellar when she was done. “please be careful,” you had said.
what did that even mean? you clearly wanted to keep daishou safe from her which was ridiculous because weren’t you supposed to be her friend too? she’d stormed out of the library after that, determined to demand a kiss from daishou to make her feel better.
that day was one of the last that she’d see you for a while. you got caught up with clubs and schoolwork (and apparently therapy for god knows what) while she got caught up with daishou.
things with him weren’t... great. they never really were but things were getting even worse. his random bouts of silence got longer and though it was only freshman year and they’d been dating for less than 5 months, he’d meet with her after school with a hickey plastered on his collarbone that she knew she didn’t put there (she sucked even harder over the spot to claim it as her own).
as she said, things weren’t great but they weren’t horrible either. they remained that way all the way up until sophomore year.
you and her had drifted even further, hardly speaking to one another unless it was for a project or to vaguely greet one another in the halls. it was okay though. you had all your other friends and she... well she had daishou.
speaking of, her “boyfriend” had been more distant than usual. she wasn’t an idiot and she knew he’d been seeing other girls on the side, but she believed she would be the one he’d end up with, the one he’d marry.
how foolish she had been.
it was prom night and she felt beautiful. her beauty channel had finally begun picking up traction (she’d just hit 13k subscribers the night before!!) so she filmed a prom night makeup tutorial, making sure that every square inch of her face was perfect. donning a silky blue floor length dress, she felt like a princess and she certainly looked the part.
she showed up to daishou’s house about 30 minutes before the event, ringing his doorbell with an elated grin painted all over her face. he had mentioned in passing that his parents and older sister would be out for the weekend, leaving the house for themselves. that meant sex and sex meant being wanted.
after the third ring of the bell, she started to get nervous. maybe he wasn’t ready yet? maybe he needed help with his tie? just when she was about to wring the bell again, the door swung open to reveal daishou... not in his suit.
“oh, it’s you,” he’d grumbled. “‘m not goin’ to prom.” she felt her breath catch in her throat. she’d protested and begged for an explanation but he wouldn’t give one to her. eventually, she’d followed him into his house, furious because how could he do this to her? on her night?
it didn’t take very long for him to get fed up, his snake-like eyes honing in on her, filled with venom. “‘m not goin’ because i don’t like you anymore. you still look pretty though.”
just like that, with just a few words, he’d shattered her heart. she was frozen in place, completely disconnected from daishou, her love, as he not-so-gently pushed her out the door, slamming it in her face.
she felt tears stream down her cheeks and before she knew it, her legs were carrying her to a place she hadn’t been in months.
banging frantically on the door, she cried out, begging for someone, anyone to hear her. the door opened quickly and there you stood. you’d clearly been studying but as you took in her frazzled appearance, it seemed as though your heart broke.
you ushered her inside, sat her own the couch, and began to make her a cup of tea, your parents having been out for the night as well. once the kettle went off, you quickly prepped her drink and gave it to her, the words flowing out of her like liquid once she had taken a sip.
she didn’t know why she was even there but despite the animosity between the two of you, you seemed like you truly... cared. (neither of you mentioned the tears that stained your favorite t shirt or the quiet apologies you muttered into her hair).
that night quickly went and passed and by the next day, she was feeling rejuvenated and more like herself. however, that feeling quickly dissipated when she caught you in the hallway between classes speaking with daishou behind the stairwell in hushed tones.
within the span of a few hours, her heart had been broken twice and she was sure she’d never felt such heartache before.
she turned on her heel and darted away, avoiding your every attempt to talk to her for weeks and weeks until you just... stopped trying. after you’d cut off conversation, yet again, the sadness quickly festered and morphed into anger.
that anger only grew when she watched you graduate at the top of your class in your senior year, your smile blinding as you accepted your diploma. it only grew when she saw that you had made it into the university of your choice on your instagram story, her own rejection letter torn up in the bottom of her wastebin. it only grew when she saw you’d made your own youtube channel, her own going untouched and neglected (her last video had been a half-assed “get ready with me” that had more dislikes than likes due to her horrible makeup and even worse attitude).
soon enough, the rage had intensified until it had taken over her whole being. she was just so angry at all that you’d done to her, all the ways you’d ruined her life that she couldn’t keep herself from plotting your demise.
when she got the email from the hyper house management team that invited her into the house and offered the option that she could pick someone she wanted to move in as well, her anger turned into excitement.
this was her chance. this was her moment to turn your life into a living hell, to make it at least a fraction of what she went through by your hands.
she was going to make you pay and god, was it going to feel great.
the metal of the handcuffs chafed her wrists as she adjusted herself against the cool leather of the cruiser, the discomfort removing her from her reverie.
yeah, right. it seemed as though she was the only one “paying” right about now.
she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, tears filling her eyes but refusing to fall.
things definitely weren’t meant to turn out like this. not at all.
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℗ poker face
not like this
series masterlist
(●’◡’●)ノ
an - OMFG THE BACKSTORY REVEALED I AM SO OVER IT >:(( this took me forever to write and i still wasn’t able to include everything i wanted to so hop over to my asks if you need any clarification!! oh oh && just a reminder, this playlist is from meiko’s perspective so chances are, things didn’t exactly go just like this wink wonk KAJS ANYWAYS DONT FORGET TO FEED ME ILY <3333
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis
the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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daenqyu · 9 months ago
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— they accidentally confess to their crush
includes: shinsou, bakugou, midoriya, todoroki and hawks
warnings: swearing
a/n: thank you for requesting <3 i love this idea! it’s so cute🥺 also, hawks’ may be a little longer than the others because it’s my first time writing for him and i got a bit excited👉🏼👈🏼 
ps: i don’t mind writing for hawks if it’s a headcannon and/or texts! so feel free to request him :D and yes, this is a repoost because the algorithm hates me.
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @tetsuruo )
shinsou hitoshi:
it would happen so randomly and out of the blue
as i said before, i think shinsou is a really reserved and quiet type of guy
but that seems to vanish whenever he’s around you
he’s more talkative and constantly goes out with you so you guys can have some quality time together
you also make him really nervous 
he’s pretty chill with everyone and seems to not give a fuck about most things
but with you?
that’s a whole different story 
whenever you keep your gaze stuck on him when he’s talking and his eyes meet yours, his heart never fails to do backflips because fuck you’re so cute
(oh to have shinsou think i’m cute D:)
ok back to the actual hc,,, 
you two were hanging out in your room, listening to music and just talking 
even tho your best friends, shinsou never really tells you much about his personal life
of course you know the basics like his hobbies and all his favorite things
but he never talks to you about...crushes or anything 
and you don’t like that because :( friends are supposed to tell each other this stuff, right? 
it’s fun and makes the bond even stronger
so you decide to ask him because why not?
“hey shinsou?” 
he’s sitting down next to you on your bed, your legs draped over his
which makes him feel all warm inside
it’s stupid and definitely not a big deal, 
but it’s little things like this that make him fall more and more for you
“yes?” 
“do you have a crush?” you wiggle your eyebrows at him in a teasing way, although he’s not even looking your way
a part of you is nervous to hear his response 
because unbeknownst to shinsou, you reallyyy like him
and have been crushing on him for quite some time now, but since you’re so sure the feelings are one sided, you don’t tell him
he’s too invested on the game he’s playing on your switch, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he concentrates
so he almost misses your question
and when he does answer, he’s not even paying attention to the words that leave his mouth
“apart from you? no”
it takes him a good minute to process what he said
meanwhile you’re sitting there like :o
you certainly weren’t expecting THAT
like it’s a good thing!!!! but you’re kinda flustered 
especially when shinsou finally looks up at you, eyes widened in surprise at his own bluntness as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say now
“wait! i didn’t mean it like that!”
“you didn’t?”
he notices the slight pain in your voice and the way you move away from him slowly and he’s quick to apologize 
“shit, okay...yes i like you but i didn’t say anything because i don’t want to make things weird between us or ruin what we have right now”
he’s looking everywhere but you
because he doesn’t exactly want to face you when you reject him
but you don’t ???
instead you giggle and before he can ask you what’s so funny, you climb on his lap to hug him, causing him to blush furiously 
“i like you too, toshi”
the nickname makes him hug you even tighter while he hides his face on your neck 
it was such a cute confession and even when you two start going out, you never stop bringing it up
which makes shinsou extremely embarrassed 
“hey remember when you confessed and-”
“y/n, we’ve talked about this”
“oh come on! you were so adorable”
he pouts at you 
“were?”
people think he looks so scary but he’s actually a whole ass baby
you roll your eyes before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss, 
“you’re such a baby”
“hm, your baby”
“oh my god you did not”
yeah no, he’s in love with you👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @bakugousmyboy )
bakugou katsuki:
i feel like it would be pretty difficult to have bakugou accidentally confess directly to you
he knows how to control himself and his emotions so i doubt he’d actually ever do something like this
however,
he’s not that good at hiding his crush on you and mostly everyone on class 1A knows the boy is an absolute sucker for you
except you because apparently you think he’s just being nice
and everyone else is like wtf???? 
like he’s ALWAYS screaming at everyone 
but when it’s you he doesn’t 
in fact, sometimes he even lowers his voice so it won’t bother you 
so that behavior is the one that caused him to be stuck in the situation he is right now
he sat in the common room with kirishima and kaminari, trying to eat his food in peace but the two idiots, as he likes to call them, wouldn’t shut up
he had completely blocked out both of their voices, focusing on finishing his meal and getting the hell away from them
until he heard your name being mentioned 
“dude when are you gonna ask y/n out? everyone knows how much you like her  so might as well you know,” kirishima bumps his shoulder against the blonde, only to receive a glare. “get some action”
“yeah bakubro, she’s super cute too” kaminari buts in and bakugou is about to punch them both in the face
“shut the fuck up. i don’t like her” bakugou scoffs
“but you’re such a softie for her”
“huh?! i treat her the same as i treat all of you extras!” oh but he knows he’s lying, you can’t even compare to any of your annoying classmates 
kirishima smirks, “i’m pretty sure you’ve never once, raised your voice at her”
“so? that doesn’t mean shit”
kaminari looks at kirishima and the redhead nods at him, giving him the green light
“well since you don’t like her, you wouldn’t mind if i ask her out? because i’ve been wanting to-” kaminari can’t even finish his sentence before bakugou grabs him by the collar of his shirt
kaminari yelps, looking over at his other friend for help but he moves his head quickly, knowing better than to get involved 
“you try and make a move on her and i swear to God i’ll blast you all the way across japan, dunce face”
bakugou’s voice is threatening and low, and kaminari knows he means every word so he quickly raises his arms in defeat and nods his head
“okay, okay! i swear i won’t”
little do they know that you’ve been standing behind them for a while now
you’re happy to know your feelings are reciprocated 
but of course you want to tease bakugou about it
“hm did my ears deceive me or does boom boom boy have a crush on me?” 
kirishima and kaminari take that as their cue to run away to their rooms, leaving you two alone
“tch, how long have you been standing there?” even as he glares you down, he can’t hide the blush on his cheeks 
he didn’t want you to find out this way
or at all tbh
you walk over to him, a wide smile on your lips
“long enough”
afterwards you ask him if he wants to go watch a movie with you the next day and he’s lowkey mad because he wanted to ask you on a date first, but he doesn’t say no
you end up having way more fun than expected and you actually confirmed that bakugou was a softie for you 
(turns out you were the last one to find out because literally everyone else knew)
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )
midoriya izuku:
OKAY HE’D BE THE MOST FLUSTERED OUT OF ALL OF THEM
he can barely function around girls in general so like, what does that tell you?
he likes you so much but he’s so scared 
but he’s also so sweet to you even before you start dating oml
midoriya is a sweetheart, we all know this
and he pays so much attention to you
like if you are the mall one day and you see something you really like but can’t buy it for whatever reason well…
a few days later he gets it for you
he would say something along the lines of, “you seemed to really like it so i got it for you”
“you didn’t have to, izuku!”
“but i wanted to”
you’ll try to pay him back in some sort of way but he absolutely refuses
he loves pampering you
yet whenever you try to do the same he doesn’t let you and it’s: ✨annoying✨
anyways,
you were supposed to go to the movies
but midoriya had forgotten he had some homework to do, which was due the next day
“i’m so sorry y/n! i completely forgot, but i promise i’ll finish quickly” he tried to reassure you and you chuckle at the boy, so cute
“it’s okay, izuku. i don’t mind waiting”
you lay down on his bed, trying your best to keep your eyes open 
but as much as you tried, you eventually fell asleep against the soft sheets, your best friend’s bed being just too comfortable 
midoriya sat on his desk chair, writing down the answers as fast as he could so you guys could go watch the movie you were so excited about
he let out a sigh of relief when he finished, before taking his phone out to check the time
6:37PM, the movie starts at 7PM so we still have time
he stood up to tell you he had finished, but was met with your sleeping figure
your eyes were closed and soft snores left your slightly parted lips, hands gripping his sheets to your chest
the curly haired boy almost combusted at the sight
you looked so peaceful, so pretty
a smile grazed his lips as he made his way over to the bed
he sat down beside you, quietly admiring your features 
feeling the mattress dip thanks to his weight, you began to wake up, but quickly shut your eyes when you noticed midoriya was looking at you
truth be told, you just wanted to scare him by suddenly jumping
but his next words made your breath hitch
one of his hands moved up to your face, resting it gently against your cheek as his thumb massaged the skin
your heartbeat was out of control and you forced yourself to calm your breathing so he wouldn’t notice you were awake 
his touch was so gentle and sweet, you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away
“i wish i could tell you how beautiful you are” he whispered and if you hadn’t been so close to him, you probably wouldn’t have heard him
after hearing him say that you couldn’t stay still
you opened your eyes, a smile quickly spreading across your features as you turned around to face the green haired boy
midoriya almost had a heart attack when you moved, hoping you hadn’t heard him
but based on the mischievous grin you wore, he knew you had
“well you just did”
“y-you were awake?!”
“yup, i’m glad i was tho”
hE’S INTERNALLY SCREAMING
your gaze is flirtatious and you’re still grinning and he’s just >_<
“now let’s go or we’ll be late!” 
midoriya can only nod before following you outside
once you’re on your way to the movie theater, you notice midoriya fidgeting with his fingers, his eyes glued to his shoes
you smile as you suddenly take his hand in yours, interlacing your fingers together 
midoriya looks at you with a nervous expression, what is she doing?
“you know, you’re beautiful too”
you were looking at him with nothing but love in your eyes and he felt so embarrassed yet excited at the same time
because holy fuck you just called him beautiful AND held his hand???
he thinks it can’t get any better than this
and then it does when you kiss him a few weeks later😳🤚🏼
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @ambershaydeoffical )
todoroki shouto:
like bakugou, i don’t really think he’d be clumsy enough to accidentally confess
however, he does like to speak his mind and isn’t afraid to do so
he’s just really honest and blunt
way too honest 
which gets him in trouble sometimes but oh well, that’s just the way he is and everyone is pretty used to his personality by now
though, after figuring out he liked you as more than a friend, he started to think more before talking
sometimes you liked to get his opinion on your outfits and/or hairstyles
so you’d drag him to you room and force him to be honest and tell you which one he liked most
it doesn’t matter what you wear, you always look beautiful 
he wants to say that, but instead he goes:
“they all look good, i think the purple shirt really fits you tho”
“i was thinking the same thing!”
he doesn’t want to scare you off or make things weird
so he forces himself to hold back on his bluntness 
at least when he’s with you
but one day he just can’t help himself 
you were on your way back to the dorms after a tiring day at school
todoroki walked next to you, eyes glancing over to you from time to time so you knew he was listening\
you were currently rambling about how shitty your love life was
claiming that there must be something wrong with you since no one seemed to pay attention to you- at least romantically 
“i mean seriously, am i doing something wrong or is everyone i’ve met just not for me??” 
you had your cheeks puffed out, a pout on your lips as you kicked the small rocks on the floor
todoroki smiled softly at your complaints, thinking irony could be quite funny sometimes 
until you spoke up again,
“maybe i’m just too ugly or boring, that’d make more sense”
todoroki almost stops dead in his tracks to see if you have a fever 
how could you say that????
you’re so gorgeous to todoroki, and interesting 
you’re probably the first girl he’s ever liked this much in his life
and you have the audacity to doubt your worth just because other people can’t seem to appreciate you??
uh uh, he’s not having it
and so, the words come out before he can even register them properly
“if you were as ugly as you say are then, i don’t think i’d like you as much as i do”
your eyes widened and you stopped walking, wondering if you had heard him right
todoroki stops walking too, and once he realizes what happened, he’s looking away, trying to come up with a valid excuse as to why he said that
you, however, can’t stop staring at him
finding the way he glares at the ground adorable
a sense of happiness takes over your whole body when he doesn’t say anything to deny his sudden confession 
because he cannot lie to you
you walk towards todoroki until you’re standing right in front of him and before he can even question what you’re doing, you plant a sweet kiss against his cheek
“good thing the feeling is mutual”
your words make him smile and he looks so happy
probably the happiest he’s ever been
and you feel proud of being the one responsible for that pretty smile of his
neither of you really rush into making things official 
but the way todoroki lets you cuddle on his left side whenever you’re cold or how he waits for you every morning so you can walk together to class makes it more than clear that he really likes you
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( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )
takami keigo (hawks)
he’d be the type to not give a fuck about it
like he already confessed so what can he do?
nothing. exactly
he’s so cocky and flirty the whole time oml
he’d be shocked for a few seconds, but after seeing you were way more flustered than him, he’d just start teasing you
in a loving way of course
he’s also surprised you hadn’t noticed earlier on, considered how much he flirts with you, but then again, that’s part of his personality so
kinda makes sense you didn’t suspect anything
but he’s so cute and soft for you 🥺
okok so it happened the same day you got your results for your midterms
(you’re a college student here lol)
you had studied your ass off for this tests
staying up until 4AM and having to ditch your friends when they invited you to go out
so you were really positive
you squealed when your teacher hands you back the papers and you see the grade on the right corner
you felt happy to know that all your hard work wasn't in vain
the nerves you had been feeling since the day you took the midterms quickly vanished and were replaced with the feeling of pride
as you walked out of the building, you dialed the person who you wanted to share the news most with
he picked up after the second ring
“what’s up?” his voice was raspy and you ignored the butterflies that appeared in your stomach at the sound
“hey, i have great news!”
“care to elaborate?”
“you’ll find out when i get to your house”
“oh? and who said you could come over?” his tone is teasing and you can practically hear the smirk on his face, which makes you roll your eyes
“i did, now bye. i’ll be there in five minutes and order some pizza to celebrate” you don’t even get hear his complaints because you’ve already hung up
anyone who saw the way you two acted with each other would automatically think you guys were a couple
you were rather affectionate with each other; occasionally holding hands while you walked down the streets and even calling each other by your first names
that was just the bond you two had, and you loved it
he brought you so much comfort
it was almost ridiculous the way he was able to make you smile by simply calling or texting you
you had grown quite attached to the number 2 hero, but you constantly told yourself you needed to snap out of it
because you were friends
nothing more and nothing less
oh but how you wished there was more to your relationship than just that
you shook your head, as if that could help you get rid of the thoughts
true to your word, you soon found yourself outside of keigo’s house
the college you went to wasn’t that far away from there so
you pushed the doorbell and waited around two minutes before a sleepy looking keigo opened the door
his hair was messy and the way he rubbed his eyes and kept yawning let you know he probably had been taking a nap
you scoff, “were you sleeping?” you ask him as you walk into his home, smiling at the familiar scent
he chuckles from behind you, following you into his living room, “maybe, but you woke me up”
“can’t believe your lazy ass earned the number two spot”
“what can i say? it’s a talent,” he shrugs before sitting down next to you on the couch, resting his face on his hand. “so, what’s the good news?”
“so you know i took my midterms last friday, right?” keigo nods. “well, i got my results today” he raises his eyebrows in surprise and waits as you look for the papers inside your bag
once you get them out, you place them in front of your face so he can see for himself
keigo smiles proudly and it only widens when you look up at him expectantly, biting your lower lip
“holy fuck, that’s amazing! you did so good dove”
the nickname makes you weak on the knees but you’re quick to brush it off
you should be used to it, since keigo has been calling you that for quite some time now, yet it never fails to make your heart beat insanely fast
you nod excitedly and put the papers down before you start talking about your experience
keigo can’t help but admire you
you look so happy and cute
it makes him want to kiss you
he wants to shut you up by kissing you, and it sound mean and disrespectful but you just look so gorgeous 😡
and instead of randomly kissing you, he blurts out a confession
“math was probably the hardest but i managed to pass it too, surprisingly, so i-”
he doesn’t even know what you’re talking about anymore, too focused on your smile
“God i like you so much”
you shut up instantly
did you hear that right?
or was your mind playing tricks on you?
keigo looks away momentarily, before locking eyes with you and tilting his head to the side, waiting for a reaction
which he gets soon after because you can’t handle the way he’s looking at you
you look away, hiding your face the best you can
“w-what did you say?”
he smirks after hearing the stutter in your voice
he gets closer to you, until he’s right in front of your face, before saying:
“i like you, y/n”
you don’t know what to say
what are you even supposed to do???
keigo just confessed
your best friend and crush just confessed to you
that’s not something that happens everyday
“i um, like you too” you don’t look at him and he almost chuckles at your shy expression, but decides not to embarrass you any further
“happy to hear that”
he doesn’t say anything for a while and you wonder what the hell is going through his head right
he’s probably just messing with me. oh my God he probably is and i just said i liked him too so what-
your train of thought is cut off when you feel the blonde ruffle your hair while looking at you lovingly
you slowly look up to him
“i’m proud of you, dove”
fuck
“t-thanks”
“now, i think this is something worth celebrating and i’m not talking about pizza. so let me take you out”
“it’s fine, keigo. you don’t need to-”
“can’t hear you, give me about fifteen minutes and then we’ll get going”
you try to tell him no, that it’s fine and you can just eat pizza but he ignores you and still takes you out to eat
i’ll say it again: he’s so sweet :(((
he pays for the food and gives you his jacket when you get cold
he even treats you to some dessert !!
he also kisses you good night when he drops you off at your house <3
7K notes · View notes
charnelhouse · 4 months ago
Text
you became all the things I wished for, all the things I hoped
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Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader Words: 1.3K Warning: smut. pregnancy symptoms. body insecurities. fluff. Request: You get pregnant. Din gets even more possessive. 
You don’t plan it. 
Of course, not. 
You just stop being careful.
You miss your cycle. You start feeling so nauseous that you have to go lie down on Din’s cot during hyper-jump. 
Even the sex is different. Charged. Sensitive. 
Din sucks on the peak of your tit, teeth nibbling over the swollen flesh and you lurch underneath him. “Sorry,” you mutter. “They’re so sore.”
He combs your hair back, stroking your cheek. “Want me to stop?”
No. Never.
And then Din slides between your legs, hitching your thighs over his shoulder so he can lick into you. He presses his tongue deep - devouring you in a way that would make anyone blush from the messiness of it. 
He sits up on his heels, slipping his cum-slick fingers into his mouth.
“You taste different,” he remarks - the lewd, wet noise punching the air as he savors it.
You rise up on your elbows. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“Sweeter,” he suggests. “Not in a bad way.”
You’ve been deliberately obtuse. You know you have. You know exactly what’s wrong with you and so you reach for Din’s hand that is resting on your thigh and bring it up to your belly.  
“I think…I think that I might be…“
Din’s eyebrows escape his forehead.
**
“What do you want to do?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are - are you okay with this?”
“Yes,” you murmur, running your palm over your stomach - thinking about a little bundle of cells growing and growing. “I think.”
“You think?”
“I don’t know,” you exhale sharply. “I’m nervous.”
Din moves behind you, planting his thighs around your own as he trails his fingers over the tops of your hands. “Why?” he soothes. “We’ve already parented one kid.”
“A jedi-kid.”
Din laughs. “Pretty girl,” he assures you. “It’ll be okay. I doubt we can fuck it up more than anyone else.”
**
Din is normally quite possessive. He is protective to a fault. 
With you pregnant, it’s like these attributes have been dialed up to an eleven. 
You aren’t pissed, but you are exasperated. He keeps an arm wrapped around your shoulders when they walk through crowded streets. He refuses to let you go on a hunt by yourself. Din takes bounties on the safer, easier planets. Planets spotted with Medcenters should anything go wrong with you.
When you start showing, it’s even more pronounced. Everyone wants to touch you, congratulate you - eyes shifting between the tower of Beskar that clings to your side like a stretched, flickering shadow and your very round belly. 
You’re half of yourself - functioning on no energy and throbbing joints. You take constant naps. You ask Din to go into town and grab you every street food offered. Grogu is beside himself, climbing into your lap and pressing his oversized ear to your stomach as he babbles. 
It’s horrifically cute and you always catch Din staring at the both of you. An expression you are sure is something akin to joy or mirth or disbelief even with his helmet in place. 
**
They travel to Mos Pelgo where it’s quiet - where it’s warm sand and trustworthy citizens - well most of them.
Peli had taken one look at your belly and announced that she would not be babysitting any more Mandalorian kids. Of course, she turned right around and offered you some pointers - some old wive’s tales about giving birth in a cave or under a full moon.
When Cobb spots you and your condition, his mouth splits into a shit-eating grin and he lifts you up into his arms and spins you around, pressing a wet kiss to your cheek.
“Well - you two have certainly been busy!”
Din seethes - immediately wrenching you out of his arms and setting you down gently.
“Don’t be rough with her,” he hisses as Cobb laughs and laughs.
“Oh knock it off, Mando,” you snap. “He was fine.”
And then Din pouts for hours - stewing in the corner as Cobb catches you both up on the raids and the truces and the lack of krayt dragons.
Cobb buys them a room at the local inn and you kiss the frown off Din’s face. You’ve been ravenous for sex - more than usual. Even though you feel gross and heavy - sweating in all sorts of crevices and operating with all the grace of a Bantha. You drop to your knees to swallow his cock - tongue the slit at the head just right so he gasps. You let him fuck into you from behind, his broad hand spread across your belly as his thumb flicks over your clit. He nuzzles his face into your throat, sinks his teeth into the vein that pulses steadily beneath your jaw.
“You get so much wetter, mesh’la,” he growls as each pump of his cock juts you upward, making you cry out. The bruising rhythm of his hip snapping against your ass. The sharp, short strokes that spear you somewhere soft.
He fucks you thoroughly - fucks you until he fills you with warm spurts of seed and then he’s once again putting himself between your legs. You can only see the disheveled curls of his hair peeking up above your swelling belly but you feel the way his spit-slick fingers breach your fluttering cunt, wedge through his cum and punch against a pleasure point that makes you buck beneath him.
“Beautiful girl,” he husks. “Beautiful fucking girl - you perfect thing.”
You fall apart - go boneless - and Din can’t get enough. The both of you slip between slumber and fucking and frantic, open-mouthed kisses.
“You look so good like this,” he sighs. “So good with you full of my baby.”
**
“Ugh,” you groan. “I’m huge.”
Din doesn’t turn around - his visor is pinned to the next hyperspace pathway. 
“You’re gorgeous,” he returns, flicking at buttons before shoving at the thruster. 
Grogu is sitting upright on your belly, his little body a warm comfort as he squeaks whenever the baby kicks. 
“You’re gonna have to roll me into Navarro.”
“Of course,” he acknowledges.
Din had contacted Karga who - like Grogu and Cobb - was beside himself at the news that you were about to pop with Din Djarin’s kid. 
“Mando!” he crowed. “I never thought I’d see the day. You two will make beautiful children. How wonderful! You must come here. We have a new Medcenter…”
“He’s never even seen your face,” you point out.
“I know.”
You weren’t exactly scared of childbirth. You’d dealt with enough pain in your life - enough blaster wounds and broken bones and knives to the gut. 
You were - however - going to milk it for all it was worth.
“Will you buy me a new vibroblade?”
“For?”
“When my vagina snaps off while I give birth to your big-headed kid.”
“Naturally.”
You simper, rubbing at Grogu’s tiny brow.
Victory.
Din shakes his head in what you assume is amusement. 
“You’re gonna be the best big brother, Grogu,” you purr as the tiny green boy turns to look at you with a toothy smile. He chirps enthusiastically and Din spins his chair around, tilting his helmet to regard you both. 
There’s a beat of silence - a thoughtful air as he stares at you.
“You’re going to be a good mother,” he states as he moves his leather glove to your knee and squeezes. “The best mother.”
Your eyes burn and you suck your lower lip between your teeth. Your throat thickening with emotion. Fuck Fuck Fuck. 
Your hormones have run amok - torn free and made you a sensitive pool of sap. It’s highly embarrassing. 
Regardless, Din’s grip on your knee is a balm - a point of leverage as his visor stays locked on your face and he makes soft, soothing mouth sounds to ease you. Perhaps, he’s slightly alarmed that you’re on the brink of bursting into tears and he’s the cause for it.
“I’m sorry,” you whimper. “I’m sorry - that’s just - fuck - that was just so nice of you.”
“It was the truth,” he shrugs.
You are always shocked at Din’s reasonableness - his plain logic and ability to stay present even when you’re scared shitless for the future. 
Suddenly, you imagine a vision of him with their child - even in all his Beskar - cradling the infant to his chest as he hums something old from Mandalore - most likely having to make up half the tune along the way. 
You offer him a wet smile, laughing as you wipe at your eyes. 
“You okay?” he asks, thumb sweeping over the bend in your knee.
“Yeah,” you answer. “Now - I am.”
1K notes · View notes
buckys-bug-archive · 3 months ago
Imagine if Steve left his little for Peggy and she was sitting playing with her toys just waiting for him to come back but he doesn’t. When Bucky finally comes to visit he finds her horrible sick. Bucky tells her Steve left and she refuses to eat or sleep or play. She literally becomes mute and Bucky has to pick of the pieces and put her back together. She becomes happy after a while and allows Bucky to become her daddy. But Steve returns and Bucky lets him back in and she refuses and tries to run away from them but they don’t let her and tell her to not worry because they’ll be one big happy family.
he’s gone
summary: where steve leaves you for peggy and bucky has to pick up the pieces.
pairing: daddy!steve rogers x little!reader, daddy!bucky barnes x little!reader, daddy!stucky x little!reader
warnings: soft!dark stucky at the end, angst, nightmares, not eating, not sleeping, crying, swearing
w/c: 3.5k
note: this request inspired me instantly and i started writing and went a bit crazy with it 😳 i low-key hate it though. please let me know what you think and leave feedback!!
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Waiting.
You’ve been doing a lot of waiting recently. Waiting for your Daddy to come home; waiting for him to come and take care of you. You miss him so much it’s ridiculous. You miss him so much that it consumes your entire being - all you can think about is him. Every minute of every hour of every day. All you want is him.
And you know that today is the day he’s returning.
You try to distract yourself as best as you can, getting all of your toys out to play, trying to pass the time. Every minute feels like 10, every hour like 2; time moves agonisingly slowly for every minute you’re away from him.
Hours pass. The sun sets. And your Daddy still isn’t back. You curl yourself up in his bed, breathing in the scent of him to calm you, your whole being yearns for him, the only thing that could comfort you in this moment is a bear hug from him and only him - all you want is to fall asleep in his arms. You feel incomplete without him.
Days pass. Weeks. You don’t leave the house. You don’t eat. You can barely sleep without him. You’re an absolute wreck. Your eyes are puffy and your cheeks swollen from crying.
After two weeks, Bucky finally comes to visit you. He raps on the door four, five times, the sound of metal fingers against wood ringing through the silent house. No answer. He calls out your name and all he can hear in reply is a strangled whimper.
“Baby, I need you to let me in.” he says gently, forehead resting against the cool wood of the front door.
You drag yourself to the door, swinging it open slowly; he takes in your appearance and his face softens.
“Sweetheart.”
“Where is he?” you ask, your voice is so small and frail and Bucky dreads the news he’s about to give you. It’s going to break you. “Why isn’t he back?”
“Baby, he’s gone.” He steps into the house, closing the door quietly behind him and crouching down to look you in the eye.
“What? W-what do you mean?”
“He’s not coming back, sweetheart.” His eyes never leave yours as he watches with a concern filled gaze; a sob forces its way out of your chest and you double over, clutching your stomach. He has to be lying. Your Daddy would never do that to you.
“Liar! You-you’re lying. He wouldn’t d-do that!” you cry; Bucky pulls you into his arms, collapsing onto the cold floor with you in his lap. “Why w-would he-he do that?” Your tears soak the front of his shirt but you can’t find it in yourself to care. He shushes you gently, rocking you in his arms as you break down. Tears well in his own eyes as he watches you but he pushes them back; what you need most right now is someone to take care of you.
“C’mon, baby. You need to sleep.” he coos, lifting you into his arms and carrying you to the bedroom.
“Can’t.” you whimper, “Need Daddy.”
Bucky’s heart breaks in two at that and he kisses your forehead lightly, wishing he could take your pain away.
“I know you do. But the best I can do is me, okay? Let me help, please?” he asks softly, laying you down in the bed that still smells like your Daddy; that only makes you cry harder, your throat on fire as you scream into the pillows. You can feel Bucky’s hand rubbing comforting circles into your back; he lays down next to you and pulls you into his side, holding you close until your sobs die down to quiet whimpers.
“Wanna know somethin’?” you mumble quietly, so quietly that you doubt Bucky would have heard if it wasn’t for his enhanced hearing.
“Sure, doll.”
“I always knew that there was a part of him that didn’t love me. Loved her more. An’ I was right.” Another few tears escape your eyes and he wipes them away with his thumb.
“Oh, baby. He loved you.”
“Nah. Not e-enough.” you hiccup. “I g-get it. ‘M not pretty or sm-smart like her. ‘M just a stupid baby.” Your voice is filled with self hatred; you’d always been insecure but Steve has inadvertently confirmed everything you hate about yourself in your eyes.
“Baby, you’re beautiful. And so smart. And if he couldn’t see that then he didn’t deserve you. You deserve somebody who’s gonna love every part of you. Just you. Okay?”
“Th-thanks, Bucky.” He can see the gears turning in your head as you mentally list every reason Steve had to leave: every flaw, everything you hate about yourself. He holds you close as you cry yourself to sleep, clinging to him to ground yourself until you fall into a fitful slumber, your dreams plagued by Steve’s absence.
-
You wake with a start, drenched in sweat as your breath comes in ragged pants. Bucky’s right there with you, pushing your hair out of your face and comforting you as you struggle for breath.
“Shh, baby. It’s okay, breathe for me. In and out, yeah?” You do as he says, trying your best to regulate your breathing as he holds you to his chest.
“Sweetheart, do you want a bath? I’ll get your fishies and your rubber duckies for you to play with.” You just shrug, leaning against him but not really paying any interest to Bucky’s words. “Come on.” he coaxes you out of the bed and into the bathroom, sitting you on the closed toilet lid and beginning to fill the tub, adding bubbles and your toys.
“Arms up, bub.” You do as he says without so much as a whine - very uncharacteristic behaviour from you - and he lifts your shirt over your head before reaching behind you and unclasping your bra. He then pulls your trousers and panties off, leaving you bare and shivering as the cold air hits your skin.
“I know, baby. Come on let’s get you in.” He hooks his arms under your legs and lowers you into the bubbly water carefully, letting you sit for a minute before beginning to clean your body with care.
You don’t even attempt to play with your toys - your favourite duckies and fishies - and instead sit completely still and unmoving, eyes glazed over as you stare at the wall vacantly.
“Sweetheart.” Bucky murmurs, voice filled with concern. You don’t respond. You don’t even look at him. He sighs gently, finishing washing your hair and teasing the knots out with his fingers before lifting you out of the tub and wrapping you in a towel.
“Let’s get you dressed and then I’ll make you some breakfast, okay?” Talking to you is like conversing with a brick wall. Your brain has disconnected from your body, too consumed by grief to function at all.
He dresses you in a pair of sweatpants and one of Steve’s hoodies in an attempt to comfort you; and it does momentarily. As the scent of him envelops your body, you close your eyes and allow yourself to pretend. Pretend that he didn’t leave. Pretend that he loves you.
Carrying you to the kitchen, Bucky sits you down and pours a bowl of cereal for you, setting it in front of you.
“Baby, you gotta eat.” No response. You barely even acknowledge him. Picking up the spoon, he scoops a spoonful of cereal up and brings it to your mouth, nudging your lips gently with the metal. “C’mon, open up.” Your tired eyes meet his and his face softens with worry. “Please eat, baby.” You push the bowl back towards him, screwing your face up in distaste.
“You want somethin’ else?” You shake your head. You don’t really feel like doing anything, even being out of bed is exhausting currently. So you push yourself up from the chair and trapse away, back into the bedroom where you wrap yourself in blankets and cry until you feel empty and numb.
Bucky joins you a little while later, cooing sweet nothings to you as he slips in the bed, letting you climb onto him and rest your head against his chest; listening to his heartbeat calms you - you have something to focus on. You accept the gentle whispers and the soft touches even though you wish he was somebody else.
You let the rhythmic sound of his heart lull you back to sleep; snoring softly against him, your face slackens with much needed slumber.
Every now and then, you’ll whine in your sleep, clutching onto him desperately as though he’ll disappear from underneath you. And sometimes, you’ll call out for Steve; and your calls soon turn to screams as the nightmare of him leaving you plays over and over in your dreams.
“Baby, wake up. C’mon, sweetheart. ‘S just a dream.” Bucky murmurs in your ear, pulling you away from the fragments of Steve that haunt your every moment, even when you’re asleep.
When you wake, you whimper and curl further into Bucky, trembling like a kitten. You’re so lost without your Daddy. You don’t eat, you barely sleep and when you do, you’re plagued by terrors; you don’t play and you certainly don’t speak. All that’s left of you is an empty shell, void of the life that once inhabited your soul and body.
Bucky takes care of you the best he can, he’s a natural caretaker through and through, but he’s never had a little before. In that way, he’s learning along with you. Eventually, you begin to accept him. You’ll sleep as long as he’s in the bed with you; you’ll eat as long as he’s there with you; you’ll play with your toys if he’s in the room. He makes you feel safe. Loved. He holds you tightly, the cracks that Steve left in your exhausted body finally starting to heal.
As you begin to come back to life and return to your old, bubbly self, Bucky sits down with you and asks you a very important question.
“Hey, sweetheart, can I talk to you?”
“M’kay. What’s up?” you ask as you play with your toy dinosaurs.
“You know I love you, don’t you?”
“Mhm, I lub you too.” you grin, shooting him that toothy, lopsided smile that he adores.
“How would you feel about me becoming your Daddy?” Your face lights up at his question and you bounce up and down excitedly.
“Really?”
“Yup. If you want me, that is.”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” you squeal, jumping into his arms and attacking him in a hug. Tears spill down your cheeks and his brows knit together with worry.
“Hey, you alright, baby?”
“Mhm. You’re the bestest ever. Lub you so much.” you croak, burying your face into the crook of his neck.
“I love you too, baby girl.”
-
From then on, your relationship with Bucky flourishes. He takes you out on dates and takes care of you, loving every aspect of being your Daddy; his favourite part being how cuddly you are. If you could, you’d cuddle him all day, every day. You’re like a live teddy bear.
You start to forget about Steve, instead replacing all of those memories with new ones with your new Daddy. And he loves you endlessly, always reminding you of how beautiful you are and how much he adores you and only you.
You sleep with him at night, a mess of entangled limbs, so close to each other that you breathe the same air. And now, when you call out for your Daddy, you don’t mean Steve. You mean him.
-
And then it all comes crashing down again. The wounds in your heart tear back open, as fresh as the day Steve left.
Steve realises that he’s made a mistake and decides to come back.
The first person to know is Bucky. They talk and decide that Steve will come back to live with him and you - after much deliberation.
Bucky enters the house first, calling for you.
“Baby, come here. I have a surprise.” As he waits for you to come to him, his whole body is like a live wire, taut muscles and racing thoughts. This could go so horribly wrong. This could undo every ounce of progress you’ve made.
You bound into Bucky’s arms, hooking your legs around his waist and breathing in his scent deeply.
“Missed you, Daddy.”
Steve’s heart shatters as he listens to the conversation from outside. He is supposed to be your Daddy. He is the one that’s supposed to come home to you every night. But he ruined it. He ruined everything.
Bucky sets you down on the floor, stroking your face gently.
“I have someone here to see you, bub. C’mon, man.”
Steve steps through the door and your face drops.
“No.” Steve’s heart sinks. “No!” you scream, lunging at Steve and beginning to pummel your fists into his chest. “Asshole! I hate you.”
You sob uncontrollably, your knees buckling; you would’ve hit the floor if Bucky didn’t catch you. Your tears soak his shirt once more and he can feel all the progress you’ve made slipping away. A sickeningly strong sense of deja vu washes over him as you sob into his chest on the wooden floor of the hallway. It takes him back to the day that he broke the news of Steve leaving to you.
“Why is he back? Why did you bring him here?” you cry, sobs racking your whole body.
“Baby, he’s back. Don’t you want your Daddy back?”
“No!” you shriek. “I want you. He doesn’t love me. Please don’t leave, please, I love you.”
“Shh, you’re alright. I’m not going anywhere.” he croons, rocking you back and forth as the situation overwhelms you; all you want is Bucky and you’re terrified that things are going to go back to the way they were before - that he’s going to leave you and Steve’s going to take his place.
“You don’t want to be my Daddy anymore.” you sob into his chest. “You’re gonna leave just like h-him.”
“No, baby, that’s not true. I’m not going anywhere. You’re my best girl, I could never leave you.”
“Pr-promise?”
“I promise, bubba. Now, c’mon, say hi to Stevie.”
“No.” You bury your face into his chest, hiding yourself from Steve.
“Baby, I’m sorry.” Steve coos, crouching down next to you and Bucky. As his hand reaches out to rub your back in what’s supposed to be a comforting gesture, but you jerk away, a pained whine sounding from the base of your throat. “I never should have left. I’m so sorry. I love you.”
“Liar!” you screech, pressing yourself further into Bucky. The sound of his voice sends shockwaves of anguish through your exhausted body. You’re so fucking tired. “You’re not my Daddy anymore. You don’t love me. You left!”
“I know. But it was a mistake. I shouldn’t have left my sweet baby.”
“I’m not your baby. I hate you.” Your eyes are red and swollen as you sob brokenly into Bucky, clinging to him like a koala.
“You don’t mean that.” Steve’s voice wavers and you laugh darkly through your tears. How dare he? How does he possibly think he has the right to be upset at your words? He broke you into a million pieces, leaving Bucky to clean up the mess that he made.
“Yeah, I do. ‘Cause you ruined everything. You ruined me.” You peel yourself away from Bucky and stand on shaking legs, staggering back up to the bedroom to hide from them both.
“Sweetheart.” Bucky calls. “It doesn’t have to be like this. We can be a family.”
“I don’t wanna be a family. I jus’ want you.” you cry, stumbling up the stairs and away from them. It’s all too much to comprehend. Why now has he decided to come back?
Bucky sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair.
“You’ve gotta give her time. I don’t think you understand how much it ruined her when you left.”
“She’s okay now. She has you.”
“She didn’t talk or eat or sleep for weeks! She wouldn’t even look at me. It took so much time for her to get back to herself and all of that progress has just been undone.”
“I thought she’d be okay.” Steve’s voice is laced with heartbreak and he knows that he deserves the treatment that you’ve given him.
“You know what she said to me the night I told her you were gone?”
“What?”
“That she knew that there was a part of you that didn’t love her because she knew that you still loved Peggy. And she said that she understood. Because she wasn’t pretty or smart like her. Broke my fucking heart, pal.”
“Oh.”
“Just give her time. She’s been through a lot since you were last here.”
Meanwhile, you’re pulling clothes out of your wardrobe and stuffing them into a duffel bag; you refuse to stay in a house with the man who broke you - who made you believe that you were unlovable. You sneak down the stairs with the bag slung over your shoulder, managing to creep past the living room where Steve and Bucky are talking. You’re nearly there - until you open the door.
Their heads snap towards the noise and they hurtle down the hallway as you throw yourself outside, trying your best to dodge their advances. Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you into his chest, shushing you gently as you scream and wail.
“Let me go!”
“Shh, baby. Stop. What are you doin’?”
“I don’t wanna stay here with him. You just let him back in like nothin’ happened. You know what he did to me! So you have to pick.”
“What?”
“Me or him.”
“I’m not choosing.”
“You have to. Or I’m leavin’.” Bucky’s jaw sets as he lifts you off of the floor, slinging you over his shoulder as though you weigh nothing.
“No! Put me down!”
“You’re staying. We can be happy with Stevie. We’ll be a family.”
“I don’t want to be a family.” you sob, all of your pent up rage and grief clawing its way out of your chest. It feels like there’s a hole forming in Steve’s heart as he watches you thrash and cry against Bucky, screaming incoherently. He sets you down on the couch, pinning you to it when you try to run again and holding your face, focusing your gaze on him.
“Baby, breathe for me. In and out, come on.” He places your hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat, knowing that it calms you. “Talk to us, okay. Tell me what’s goin’ on in your mind.”
“Daddy…” you whimper, tugging at his shirt to bring him down and close to you. He scoops you up in his arms, laying you against his chest as your breath begins to regulate itself and you slump against him tiredly.
“You’re alright. C’mon, help me understand how you’re feeling.”
“‘S all ruined. Everything’s ruined.” you mumble tearily. Your world feels like it’s crashing around you and the only thing keeping you from drowning is Bucky, his firm body underneath you the only thing holding your fragile psyche together. He cards his fingers through your hair as your eyes droop shut.
“Don’t worry, baby girl. It’s going to be just fine. We’ll be one big, happy family.” You murmur tiredly against Bucky’s chest. You know that Steve’s here to stay. Bucky let him back in in an instant despite how badly he hurt you. You, however, are going to take a lot more convincing.
You’re done for when the couch dips and Steve presses his warm body against you from the other side, peppering soft kisses against your jaw and cheek.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Let me make it up to you.” you whimper and your tear filled eyes meet Steve’s, his own filled with regret and remorse. You hold your arms out for him, making grabbing motions and he chuckles softly, shuffling closer to you. You bury your face into the crook of his neck, his scent so familiar that it makes you dizzy.
“Daddy.” you croak, your heart torn between the two men.
As though he can read your mind, Bucky begins to speak quietly to you as he runs his fingers through your hair.
“You don’t have to choose between us, bubba. That wouldn’t be fair. We can both be your Daddies.”
“Really?” you rasp, voice trembling.
“Yeah, honey.” Steve murmurs, kissing your cheek. “We’ll all be together.”
Your face becomes serious as you gaze at Steve, not even entirely sure that he’s real.
“Do you love me?”
“I do. I love you so much and I was a fool to think that anybody could compare to my sweet baby girl. I’m an idiot.” His voice oozes with sincerity but you’re still not entirely convinced. Casting your eyes downwards, you collapse against his chest with your legs draped over Bucky’s lap.
“Why didja have to go? Hurt me so bad.” you grumble into the material of his sweatshirt and he sways you from side to side in his hold.
“I was an idiot. I’m so sorry baby.”
You’re not quite there yet, but hopefully you’ll be able to let Steve back in one day.
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writingbywatson · 4 months ago
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Genshin Boys When You Forget To Say I Love You (Albedo, Xiao and Zhongli)
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I had a spur-of-the-moment thing so here's part two! I haven't edited this so yeah fun. Also, I'm very sleepy.
Part 1 (Kaeya, Diluc, and Childe)
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Albedo
Albedo was new to this whole relationship thing
He had a hard time trying to understand the reason behind your very affectionate words and how you can easily say I love you to him without hesitation
Sometimes he wonders so much that he wants to know if an experiment is in order because for some reason he just can’t seem to understand it
However, it didn’t take long before he got used to it but he never did say it back, his too busy trying to find out why you say it
He knows you’re an adventurer, often leaving is something common to him and before leaving you would always peek inside his lab and tell him I love you
He knew you were leaving today so he expected you to peek inside his room and just say I love you with a smile before leaving
Today, however, you didn’t do it and he concluded that maybe your trip was canceled except that he noticed that you also weren’t hanging out inside his lab
After an hour he decided to go out and look for you, he saw Klee on his way to ask Kaeya
“Oh? Big sis/big brother y/n? They already left!” Klee would inform him
“No, that can’t be right, they didn’t stop by my lab.”
“Oh, they didn’t? But I was there when they left Monstad!”
Confused
Albedo is very confused.
He went back to his lab and he tried to push every thought aside except he can’t and now his making mistakes
Did he just make a hybrid onion and fruit? Yes, he did.
Decided to not work for a bit because obviously, something was bothering him
But for some reason everywhere he looks he sees you and when he stares long enough, he feels empty
My man can’t even do alchemy right
My dude over here is thinking maybe you did that on purpose
So when you return all smiles and as affectionate as ever he knew that you most likely forgot
Never mentioned it to you because he doesn’t want to make you feel bad
But Kaeya did
And you found out that he almost blew up the knight’s headquarters by accident
Jean has never thought of putting Albedo in time out like Klee before
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Xiao
Angry cat over here is not going to say I love you directly let’s be real here, he is more of action type of guy
So he appreciates it when you say it but he doesn’t really show it
Xiao lives in a life of denial
He denies that he likes it when you say I love you when you leave for missions or adventures
He denies that he likes it when you say it after coming back from the said mission
Your normal routine of saying I love you to him is from below the inn
So every time you leave, you can see him just standing there admiring the view and also he likes watching you as you leave
This particular day however you didn’t look up to him or screamed I love you from below
You just ran away from the inn all excited base from the jump of your steps
But Xiao was not feeling excited or calm at all because what the hell was that?
So he does the most rational thing he can think of
He stalks you on your mission
One thing you need to know about Xiao is that he is a man of invisibility, its hard to detect his presence especially if he was obviously concealing it on purpose
His mind is racing with different thoughts, did you not love him anymore? Were you seeing someone else?
But does didn’t last long because he realized base on how you were interacting with everything that was around you, that you simply forgot
And he remembered how excited you were talking about this trip
So now he feels dumb
But also he is so far from the inn now that just continues following you
When you sleep outside the wilderness, that’s the only time he comes close to you so he can guard you
One night, however, he made a ‘mistake’ of touching you and you slightly opened your eyes, you were obviously sleepy but you said
“Xiao… I love you…”
Xiao had to release every emotion in his body and he ended up causing a small deforestation to a nearby forest
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Zhongli
He’s so used to you saying I love you to him and his response was always a smile
He appreciates it like he wonders how can a human be so loving
He would never tell you this but he feels very lucky to have you in his life
Cherishes your I love yous that when you forgot to tell him that his 1 million brain cells turned into 2 brain cells and the other one is shared by Hu Tao
Like how can you forget?
He knew you were excited about this commission from the guild but how can you forget his I love you?
If someone approaches him for help especially with his story he refuses to function
He would start of good but turn into a mess in the middle
Hu Tao has to take him away because he was embarrassing and it didn’t take long before everyone in liyue heard he was malfunctioning
“I asked him why the god of salt was like that but midway he started to trail about forgetting something” - a witness said
“I asked him about a legal concern of mine but he ended up telling me how important it is to tell your love once I love you” - another witness explained
You bet that Yan Fei and Xingqiu is on the path of solving this mystery
It felt like forever but honestly, it was just two days
He was there when you arrived back
You gave him a quick hug and he pats you very awkwardly as a reply
“Hey, did I forget to say I love you when I left?”
“If I recall correctly, yes you did.”
“Oh sorry about that. I love you Zhongli.”
He smiles back at you
And just like that Zhongli is back to normal and everyone in liyue is still confused as to what happened to their walking library
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