#THEY RLY SHARE JUST CHILL WHILE SHE SMOKES

[corvidshipping]

my personality traits for my Brand New Guy so far are:

he may be hot but he really doesn’t think of himself as A Hot Guy. that is to say he’s not rly a womanizer type, doesn’t rly preen himself particularly, doesn’t use his appearance to get what he needs (like information) even when he easily could. he does dress well and he does put effort into his appearance, like he does his hair and makeup and outfits the way he likes, it’s just not rly for anyone else’s benefit or to specifically look nice, he just likes how HE looks in things. it’s not that he’s unaware of how he looks it’s just rly not something that’s anywhere near the top of his mind or his priorities. he’s kind of an effortlessly cool guy but without the effortlessness cause again he does dress good on purpose but just bc he likes how it looks. it’s the confidence what makes him so hot i think. imo

very dry, sarcastic, ironic and at times dark sense of humor. in his life he had seen some Shit so he definitely developed some true gallows humor to deal with it, but he’s not the type to make fun of other peoples difficult situations. a lot of ppl don’t get his humor and think he’s being serious about things at times or think he’s just saying like actual nonsense/nonsequiturs.

generally a chill and laid back guy but nowhere near the way deacon is. deacon is chill and laid back in like a dad way, a cool dad who drives a car and is aging incredibly gracefully but is also constantly making the dumbest jokes you’ve ever heard and supports his adoptive daughter/charge almost TOO loudly (like the dads in the football stands who bring an entire giant sign to support their kids on like a practice game). my new guy is chill in like an uncle j.esse from f.ull h.ouse way. i imagine. i have never seen f.ull h.ouse. just picture like a guy who’s incredibly popular and cool in school bc he’s attractive but he’s not a dick about it and is pretty generally nice and keeps to himself and his surprisingly small group of close friends. would be fine if he wasn’t popular at all. nice to everyone unless they’re an asshole to him first. respectful. but most importantly again very much keeps to himself.

very private fellow. doesn’t like sharing information about his private life openly. this is something he and miss moon agree strongly on, which is interesting because miss moon probably knows more about him than anyone else who is still in contact with him (his old friends probably know as much or more but they don’t even know he still exists bc of muse rules) and miss moon honestly feels like she knows Way Too Much about him. she’d be fine with it if all she knew abt him was that he’s a guy, he’s a muse, and he used to smoke. and tbh? even the smoking thing is a little too personal to her.

ppl think he’s some kind of stoic bad boy often bc he’s very quiet but honestly he is quiet bc he doesn’t have a lot to say. he is always listening though. he’s one of those ppl who ends up knowing everything abt everyone because he sits quietly and people just start talking abt things with each other that they wouldn’t say to anyone else while he’s around bc they just assume he isn’t listening bc he’s not saying anything. this is not something he rly cares abt one way or the other bc he has no real use for it cause he really doesn’t care what other ppl do unless it’s something thts completely fucked and harmful, but it becomes useful when he’s partnered with miss moon to investigate the disappearances. he doesn’t even mean to eavesdrop he is just a perceptive and attentive person and most ppl talk way more loudly than he’d prefer they do.

you might assume from how cool he is that he takes his coffee black and bitter bc he’s so cool and edgy and he can handle it but no. no. a million sugars and creams for this guy. he does like the taste of coffee (so like he doesn’t want it to taste NOTHING like coffee) but he is so easily swayed by a fancy lil mocha frappuccino with double extra whip. definite sweet tooth on this dude.

his major flaw is sometimes he is so laid back and not bothered abt what’s going on outside his circle that he’s Too laid back and apathetic. part of it makes sense if you consider his life was so incredibly difficult growing up that he kind of had to learn to push all the other shit away to be able to deal with just his shit and not be distracted and actually survive, instead of worrying about everything that’s happening and overwhelming himself and getting dragged under. but it’s not a good excuse and he can be very apathetic with some pretty morally grey things. when trails go cold he gives up way easier than miss moon simply because he can’t be assed to care about why it went cold and he figures they should focus on finding new leads and continuing to move forward instead. it also can make him seem pretty emotionally unavailable to others bc if you aren’t close to him and you share something that’s personal and troubling you, often you pretty much just get a “that sucks dude”. because apathy and having learned to focus on his own survival + his laser focus on privacy and boundaries and feeling like much more than superficial knowledge of someone is just too much fucking information (but not as much as miss moon. nowhere near her actually). he is not an easy person to get close to honestly. bc part of getting close to someone IS sharing personal things and trusting them and he is just not interested in knowing that. or trusting others

yeah he has some trust issues. he mainly relied on himself growing up. his family was supportive but they couldn’t help him any more than they could help themselves bc they were all in the same situation, so he knew it was kinda useless to ask them for much bc wtf are they gonna do about the same issues they’re unable to help themselves with? he did have a set of close friends in life, but that took a while to even happen bc of his hangups and he’s still kind of stuck in the mentality of that circle being closed and tight knit, he’s not really ready to bring anyone else into his life even if he doesn’t know them anymore. it’s like he has a lifetime maximum quantity of trusted ppl and he’s already hit the cap.

kind of proud to be honest, in a way that is a hang up for him. never liked to ask for help from his friends even when they could have helped him, and even when they offered it he always turned them down and felt like he could never accept it. he’d feel like he was indebted to them and he hates owing ppl. he pays debts and repays favors as quickly as he can bc he hates feeling like he’s getting something for free or out of pity. big on the idea of being even with someone. part of it is bc he had so little in his life that he felt like the last truly meaningful thing he had was his dignity and integrity, but he took it too far tbh. big on earning things for himself. hates feeling like he didn’t work hard enough to earn something, which happens more often than he’d like to admit because he often struggles with insecurity involving this and a pervasive fear that things are given to him out of pity or charity. doesn’t really speak about it though. whenever he feels that way he tends to go quietly do some more work to feel even on it. (like if he felt he was being congratulated or celebrated way more on a solve than he deserved, he wouldn’t openly tell anyone but he would just kind of quietly go and like… anonymously send any victims some help to keep them extra afloat, or start on another case like immediately)

also to clarify: it is not that he isn’t a nice person and wouldn’t help ppl out of the kindness of his heart when they are victims he just honestly usually feels it’s not his business and kind of assumes Everyone feels the same way he does about being indebted or given favors. to him he’s doing a nice thing by solving their issue and leaving them alone bc if he did any more it would be A) way too personal for his comfort B) an invasion of their privacy as well and C) potentially embarrassing to them bc it could be interpreted as him implying that they’re not capable of supporting themselves.

in his life he grew up extra poor in a pretty broke area with a lot of crime. but the school district he belonged to was filled with a lot of rich kids from neighboring areas that were a lot wealthier than he was. in primary and years like 6/7 through 8 he wasn’t really notable at all, not super popular or conversely not super bullied or anything kind of just an average kid who no one noticed outside his group of like 3 or 4ish friends. but in year 9 and especially in the rest of secondary school he kind of randomly underwent this whole transformation where he suddenly became very noticeable and ppl considered him very cool for his chill attitude. honestly he blossomed the most noticeably in year 10, like all of a sudden over the summer he completely changed how he looked and dressed. despite being poor he dressed very well, mostly by A) trawling through thrift shops B) customizing everything he has (his mother was a tailor and a seamstress so she was able to fit a lot of his clothes specifically for him) and C) just generally… not caring about fashion trends or what was considered cool or if people thought he looked stupid and just doing his own thing, putting effort into his appearance for his own sake and not rly anyone else’s.

also in year 10 he definitely started borrowing his moms makeup a lot. he didn’t do like huge glam looks or anything but there was definitely concealer and lip tint and eyeliner involved. not rly something he hid bc he didn’t rly care if anyone knew but didn’t rly openly talk abt it bc #privacy.

ppl in his school definitely remember him as a very chill, nice, kinda quiet cool guy. just a decent fellow. generally positive opinions abt him. it’s not like anyones like oh my GOD where is he now and constantly actively thinking abt him, but if you ask about him ppl are definitely gonna be like oh dang i loved that guy i hope he’s doing good now! if he ever showed up to a reunion there wouldn’t be a single person who wasn’t happy to see him again and say hi, but it’s not like he’d like. be getting followed around or anything. which like good for him. he values his privacy. good for him that ppl respect that.

loves his fruity drinks. not a beer guy in the slightest. if a drink does not at all taste alcoholic and just tastes like a juice or something but has like 75% abv he’s into it. not a lightweight at all though. big fan of daiquiris especially frozen or blended. like i said, a sweet toothed motherfucker

#paperheart.txt #need a TAG for this fella #smoking ment tw #alcohol ment tw

[hawks-lightbulb]

So was anyone gonna tell me that shoko is not only the first one to meet up with geto after he goes off the rails but she also acts like home boy is just getting back from a gas station run, or was I just supposed to read that myself

#AND SHE CALLS GOJOU OVER FOR HIS BREAK UP #shoko I love u sm #gods #jujutsu kaisen #shoko ieiri #geto suguru #chapter 78 #og #THEY RLY SHARE JUST CHILL WHILE SHE SMOKES #oh it just hit me. maybe she was expecting gojou and her and geto to go off together or something #like she knows they’ll never stop being friends #oooooh haha I made myself sad #shoko: gojou get over here your boy needs someone to ground him back to reality #and the fact that geto knew her smoke hang out #aaaaaaa my heart:( #I wish we knew more about shoko #also wondering if geto contacted shoko first because he didn’t want his number to be seen in gojou’s phone #for a host of reasons including but not limited to #1) there would be a record for people to follow back to gojou and accuse him of helping geto #2) gojou would have his number. oof #3) geto is perhaps a tiny bit nervous?👀 #even with his conviction. there’s just so much happening in this scene

[adcres]

         howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord :   𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 !  okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡ 

BASICS.

༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]

PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .

01 and 02 .

PERSONALITY .

at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .  

not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡

despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — ‏‏‎ one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .

b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .

overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .

push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .

lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other  ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass

and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .

kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type .... 

can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...

overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .

a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers

more here .

MORE AESTHETICS.

the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .

CHARACTER DISSERTATION.

nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .

as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer

the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given  

despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .

it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .

very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing

while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .

a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — ‏‏‎much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .

WANTED CONNECTS.

pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ... 

fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ... 

frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse . 

unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh

a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..

enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...

bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .

family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...

ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>

#lavish.intro #okie gotta blast i have class in 5 min

[zeni-chu]

For the Halloween season, can I ask for headcanons or little scenarios about the Pillars you write for (if that's too many characters, feel free to drop some!) doing Halloweenie things with their s/o? Like scary movies, telling scary stories, doing haunted houses, giving out candy, dressing up, etc?

Hi hi, thanks so much for the request!! This is so cute ;-; also I’m assuming this is a Modern AU!

The Pillars doing Halloween Stuff w/ Their S/O

Modern AU

Shinobu:

I feel like Shinobu would be THE BEST to spend Halloween with, she’s the Queen of Halloween on god

She’s the one that’s like “October 1st? You know what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)” and instantly her house is covered in fake spider webs and all kinds of Halloween decorations

And I don’t mean like, subtle decorations. I’m talkin smoke machines, flashing lights, those motion sensor decorations that pop out of a bush and scare you type decorations

She takes her decoration seriously

She’s the kind of gf that will absolutely make you watch Horror movies with her, even if you’re the only one scared of em 😔😔 (also would only eat kettle corn during the movie, never regular popcorn)

She’d dress up as a witch and sit outside next to the door with a bowl of candy looking all innocent,,, but when the kids come up to get candy fucking Giyuu steps out of the bush behind em dressed in a Ghillie Suit 😭😭 (yes this happened to be as a child and I’m still traumatized)

Does Giyuu want to be there? No. Did she tell him if he did it people would like him? Yes.

She’d also eat a few pieces of the candy from the bowl, she can’t help it!!

I think she likes sour candy more than sweets or chocolate, I just get that vibe from her tbh

Wouldn’t make u dress up with her if u didn’t want to but it would definitely make her super happy if u did

At the end of the night after turning off the lights, she’d take off her Witch Hat and turn to you, wrapping her arms around ur waist and pulling you in for a smooch

She tastes like sour candy 🍭 but it’s oh-so-delicious..

Giyuu:

(My phone died while typing his and I lost everything I typed 😭😭😭)

This man... is a mf dingus

He doesn’t understand why everyone loves Halloween so much

He doesn’t understand why everyone loves to dress up

He just sees it as any other day

But he’d help you decorate anyways 😊

Nothing super crazy or extravagant, most likely just a couple fake skeletons and grave stones, the usual stuff

Would definitely give in to dressing up with you if you asked tho

Would prob just chill next to u as u hand out candy, admiring you while you’re looking away; also would take over handing out candy if u had to step away for some reason

He’s rly awkward and stiff but he tries his best cuz he wants to be involved in things u enjoy

Even tho he doesn’t rly get why everyone loves it so much, I feel like being around u during it would definitely warm him up to it a bit

I also feel like he’s definitely one of the few that would actually prefer to stay inside with you rather than going out to haunted houses or trick or treating or anything

Watching scary movies? Yes pls he loves them

Low key would make him super happy if you clung to him during jump scares or scary parts of a movie bc he loves that he can make you feel safe and protected

I don’t rly see him as a person that loves sweets a whole lot but if u saved some candy for him he’d absolutely eat it

The night would end with the two of u curled up on the couch with the cheesy horror movie fading into the background as you sleep soundly with your head on his lap, and with his hand resting on your head since he fell asleep running his fingers through your hair (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

Kyojuro:

THIS MAN!!

IS SO MUCH FUN

He’d be SO excited to dress up with u and take u out to festivals and haunted houses and parties

But also really wants to go trick or treating with u!! So he’s rly torn on what u guys should do :(

Would 100% drag you all over the place to do EVERYTHING if he could

Eventually settles for Haunted House and Trick or Treating!

Inside the Haunted House, obviously this man is not scared at all like c’mon

You however are clinging to him for dear life, which he doesn’t mind at all ;) he also likes to be your protector and comfort, it gives him a sense of pride, like “Thats me! I’m why they feel safer rn!”

Would also probably end up carrying you out of the Haunted House depending on how scared u got 😔 once again he’s happy to :))

Trick or Treating w/ him would be. So fun.

Y’all would trick or treat until you’ve hit every single house. Literally every single one

The whole night is filled with laughter and happiness and soft gazes cast towards each other when yall look away

You eventually end up coming home with two bags of candy each holy damn

I see him as a chocolate lover, he dislikes candy

You’d both sit down and heave a sigh after your long night of running around and toss the bags onto the table to begin sorting through your loot hehe

He picks out the chocolate sweets and you keep the candies while the two of you chat and simply enjoy each other’s presence

Ofc he’d share his chocolate treats with u if you asked!! Anything for his bby

The night would end with the two of you laughing as you talk about how much fun you had while sorting through your candies, finding nothing but contentment and love in each other’s eyes 🥺

Mitsuri:

This gal is also a lot of fun!!

She’d definitely want to go trick or treating with u!! But she’d also want to get into the spooky spirit and tell scary stories and watch scary movies

She’d be the most scared of the stories and movies tbh 😔✊

Would hide her face in your arms or chest during scary parts of the stories or movies and instantly almost die of embarrassment

She loves loves loves spending time with you omg she’s so clingy and sweet

Wouldn’t start eating the candy she got from trick or treating without you in case you wanted any of hers! Because what if she got some candy you liked but didn’t get?

She’d try to sit thru the scary movies with u but would probably want to change movies halfway thru she’d feel so bad abt it tho

She may be a demon slayer but she still gets scared sometimes!! She’s a badass but still so soft 😭

After stuffing herself with sweets and getting her fill of scary stories, she’d want to just cuddle in bed and talk about each other’s days as she cuddles into your side, tracing small circles onto your hands

10/10 soft girl that just wants to have fun w/ u 🥺

Gyomei:

Gyomei is one of the ones that would love to just stay inside and have a nice chill evening w/ u 😌

I don’t think he’d dress up but he’d definitely love to give out candy

He loves how happy all the kids that come by trick or treating are n he loves hearing their laughter :,)

If you ended up going trick or treating he’d prob steal a couple pieces of candy when ur not looking ;) Ik he’s a v pure boy but I love the idea that he’d be just a tad mischievous with his S/O

Idk why but when I thought abt this prompt with him the first scene that came to my mind is the two of you sitting on your couch in front of the fire place, you leaning into him with his arm draped around your shoulder as you read a book out loud so the two of you can enjoy it

Candy and sweets strewn about on the coffee table in front of you and the laughs of children joyfully running from house to house quielty buzzing in the background

This cozy night would end with both of you falling asleep in front of the warm fireplace, your page dog-earred and your arms wrapped around his waist, he falls asleep with a faint smile on his lips and his arms holding you close

#I hope u like it!! #ask #lovely anon #anonymous #request #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kny x reader #demon slayer x reader #my words

[conelly]

( luke hemmings, twenty-two, cismale, he/him ) did you see BYRON CONELLY walking down main street earlier?  you know who i’m talking about, they’re a DECKHAND.  everybody in town says that they’re SANGUINE & NONJUDGEMENTAL, but have a tendency to be IMPRESSIONABLE & VOLATILE too.  BYRON has been in town for ONE AND A BIT years. c'mon, they’re always requesting SWEET CAROLINE by NEIL DIAMOND at karaoke nights.  well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! ( ooc: sunny, 22, she/her, est )

hi thanks for tuning in, SUNNY here to tell you all a lil bit about westmere’s very own new nd improved favorite loser below. sorry for this summary being all over the place, it’s kinda how my brain works heh which is kinda perfect bc byron will for SURE be all over the place too ( u can rly tell at a certain point i was like ok i give up + i’m posting mf ). let me know if u have any questions about ‘em and most importantly, lmk if you would like to plot a lil connect or sumn 😙

@westmerestarters​ 

FAMBAM + BACKGROUND

born 14 years after the elder conelly ( wanted brother connect !!! ) entered this word to two parents who didn’t seem to read the job description, it was clear that byron wasn’t planned. and down the line, he’d soon realize through the tumultuous household he was brought up in - perhaps never even wanted.

byron’s parents had one constant - and that was fighting. over anything, all the time. there just wasn’t any love between the two and they stayed together for whatever meaningless reasons until byron hit middle school. ( there might’ve been a super short lull in toxicity once byron was born, but it had to be short as his first memories are nothing shy of toxic. )  it was a messy separation ( they never paid the full legal fees for a full divorce ) - his father moving to the coast of nj & his mother moving to a smaller apartment nearby her own mother ( which, due to the negative relationship among his mother + grandmother, also called for more tension ). he’d often be dropped off @ his grandmother’s house for baby-sitting or when he was ‘ becoming too much to handle. ’ eventually his grandmother moved into his cousin’s house ( MONROE ) and although grateful he made a practically new brother, similar tendencies of feeling unwanted occurred when byron noticed their grandmother praising and coddling and favoriting monroe just a bit more.

( his mother was a struggling addict ( and had been her whole life ), but the loneliness, newfound pressures and whatever excuse she was able to name caused her drinking to spiral worse than byron remembered ( even at his young age ) before. )

( his father was rarely in his life, but when he was, he was THE coolest. always played good cop in any situation regarding his mother, despite choosing not to have an active role in byron’s life. byron looked up to him like no other. when he WAS around, he taught byron how to surf, skateboard, play sports, they’d play video games, they’d eat junk food - honestly anything that byron wanted to do. his dad was an adrenaline junkie and created the stepping stones for byron to be one too. he was a marine biologist & pretty successful at that. passionate,  intelligent, but seemingly finding his newfound life a lot better than his previous - which is why he never wanted byron to stay too long, the boy reminded him of her, of the past. )

( his older brother moved out of the house when byron was just a lil kid, they’re not very close and don’t have much in common ... or so it seems. he lives in nyc and they only talk here and there on holidays. he was never a huge part of his life, but it does bum him out to think what could’ve been / could be. )

TO GET THE GIST 

due to never receiving the attention he craved from his family members, he made up for it tenfold in school. he was always talking to everyone, loud, boisterous, gregarious, life of the party; he wanted people to like him and they did. he become a total people pleaser, molding himself to make sure everyone was content and stayed around. impressionable, adaptable. he felt less this way towards adults and had a bit of a rebellious phase, hanging with the wrong crowd & getting into things he probably wouldn’t do otherwise. old habits die hard and he still tries his best to make everyone crack a smile, to remember him - since he believes he won’t be remembered for much else.

after he just barely skated by in high school ( his grades were never as good as his cousin’s and never lived up to his father’s expectations ), byron felt a bit lost. a lot of people had plans, were heading off to college - but already under the assumption he couldn’t reach any expectation in that realm ( a lil self fulfilling prophecy am i right pals ), he stayed in town - caring for his mother who hardly had anything together, his uncle who got sick very quickly & passed, spending time with his grandmother, while he himself fell into a rut. most of his days meant he drove out towards his dad’s place ( dad hardly there now, out and about with his new family ), surfing, smoking, and grabbing some cash doing odd jobs any way he could. he lost any purpose he once had ( but yall would never know it bc who wants to be in someone’s life who’s a buzzkill ? all smiles, baby, all smiles. )

IN WESTMERE

when his cousin offered the opportunity to travel cross-country in his van, byron had nothing to lose. always adventurous in spirit, he immediately said yes - deciding to ignore that ‘obligation,’ that feeling to make sure they were a-ok that he felt towards his parents. he needed an out and this was it. 

after landing in the small connecticut town for the night, the two fell for it - especially since when they got there along the water, it was a summer night + everything landed into place. they decided to stay there a bit longer ... and that eventually turned into more than a year. still antsy to keep traveling and to move around, byron has been ready to head out ... but stays for a few reasons - and them all being people ( bc lbh the surf is not even on point here ok )

his current job is a deckhand ( on a bunch of boats, ppl prob hired him as word of mouth got around that he knew what he was doing ). prob got that knowledge from being by his dad’s on the water when younger ( he’s ... obsessed with the water ) ! and also he’s just a quick learner ok ( ps: if your charrie has a boat pls let’s make somethin happen )

TO KNOW [ headcanons + more ]

his fav karaoke song is sweet caroline bc he knows everyone will be able to sing nd party along. he does it for the ppl, ppl.

he never saw too many baby / kid pics of himself which was kind of a bummer bc he really only remembers negative times - somehow they overpowered ( i bet lil byron was cute as fuck too fml )

he’s super into drugs, hallucinogenics, honestly you name it. it started off w/ him being impressionable, then bored, and now he just enjoys it. despite his mother’s addiction running through his blood, he still continues to do his thang.  

longboards around town so watch your toes

uses 🤙🤙 all the time and not ironically 

has an existential crisis on the daily about purpose but keeps that to himself most times 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone pls give me a sugar mama idc how we plot it out they don’t have to hook up they can idk idc i just want someone giving him money or expensive things it can be so much fun ok ,, pool boy ? idk sign me up

pls if your muse has a boat, let him be the deckhand ok it will also be so fun and potentially angsty if he fucks something up

a fling 100% - even multiple ? idc listen he is currently sharing a tiny VAN with his COUSIN he needs a place - like an actual bed - to crash on at night

can he save someone who was potentially drowning pls??? he used to be a lifeguard, it can be a cool/fun thread to write out

omg off of that can he teach someone how to swim 

look if anyone is into marine bio, can they somehow know byron’s father ?? i feel like that could make room for a cool plot

also i have an older brother connect on the w/c’s page lmk lmk

give me a good influence that will somehow have him open up + tell him that it’s weird to be so sunshiny all the time. maybe someone who witnesses him at his worst + stays, ya know ??

a bad influence plot where y/c takes this impressionable young lad and puts him through the ringer tbh ( srrsly he’d do a lot for ppl, so ask him to do something illegal for them it’ll be fun )

party pals, smoking pals, on the water 24/7 pals, 

co-worker, other ppl that work on the water ( fishermen?? more deckhands?? captains??)

gimmie someone he accidentally bumped into while longboarding ( he’s a large human it might’ve done damage ok )

i want and need enemies ok i know he’s chill as fuck and wants everyone to like him but there’s always a way to find enemies >:o. anything angsty for REAL.

unrequited thing? where he led someone on?? i’m sure he does this constantly

don’t ruin the friendship thing omg plsssss always so fun

look i’m open for it ALL. every plot u have in mind so lay it on me

#westmereintro #TW ADDICTION #nd ... i think that's it

[judehayward]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… this depressed goblin bastard is honestly my fav male muse like i dnt typically stick w male muses tht long i struggle bt................. i’ve played him the longest of them all n always seem to return to him. jst cnt stay away. way 2 attached to this absurd little man. it’s nai btw!!!! (josefine on the main). launches right in to jude’s intro without further adieu..... (u can also find his playlist here) 🧙‍🎨

「douglas booth & cis-male」⇾ hayward , jude, the senior radcliffe student’s records show that he is a pisces and 23 years old. he is studying ART, living in moris and can be protective, laidback, nonsensical & apathetic. when i see him i am reminded of wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects, lead marbles instead of eyes. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot

jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was born

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t fully Bad bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. pretty absent n irresponsible. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they properly knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care the way parents shd. they lost his birth certificate n dnt remember what they put as his middle name so he’s jst kind of like hmmmm............. n gives himself a diff one every time ppl ask. past variations hv included: jude pauly hayward, jude maureen hayward, jude van winkle hayward. says all of these w a very straight face

despite this he does hv some nice memories w them. usually he definitely sees them fr holidays. frm being rly young their christmas tradition hs been to get a bunch of chinese food like a Banquet Feast n spend all day smoking n drinking into the early hours. perhaps not the healthiest or most responsible bt 😔 jude rly likes it it’s kind of the one time of yr he feels he has a proper family

they r both suuuuper into the arts. rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in sheffield n san fran

(trauma tw) as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws being responsible n looking after someone. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed bt he also??? has some gd ones..... it was a strange environment bt he’s a survivor

(death n grief tw) he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 4 months ago nw............ just some fun lore fr u all

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing he’s jst going fking wild on the keys in a trance...... i mean he’s gd bt… chill

he’s rly sarcastic n so deadpan like he’ll say smthn completely ridiculous bt he’ll say it w his whole chest so sincere.... it’s rly hard to tell when he’s joking or serious honestly. has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably secretly draw them. does NOT share these drawings w the person he hates being openly sentimental. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women like tht energy...........

he has rly bad insomnia so he like never sleeps idk how he’s Alive straight up. please go to bed sir............. he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at radcliffe doing art, focusing on fine art like painting is............... the thing he luvs most...... his style is kind of.......... taking normal things n painting w surreal colours.... he likes A LOT of colour in his paintings which is kind of a stark contrast to his personality bc his world’s so.... washed out n grey............ lovs art n philosophy n literature n photography n music.... 

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets in plaid pj bottoms n dr martens eating frm a cereal box without care in the world. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a laidback time....... doesn’t rly like when ppl take themselves too seriously........ likes strange ppl thinks the world is mde richer by them n likes when ppl can jst bounce back jokes at him without being like erm. u dont make sense mate. bc frankly he can come up w some strange stuff sometimes.............. talking to him cn b like navigating a dark n bendy road without a flashlight....... 

(drugs tw) once did shrooms n woke up naked in the woods curled up in a pile of leaves. to this day he recounts this as his werewolf transformation. hs no idea hw he ended up there n when ppl r like are u not. concerned jude. tht is so strange? he jst shrugs like.............. dunno....................... suppose i’m jst a werewolf upon occasion. so casual abt it. jst truly does Not care abt most things at all..... almost to the point tht it’s concerning (sometimes way past the point tht it’s concerning too :/)

this is the desc on an aesthetic i mde of his style once n sums it up well!! ‘additionally: too many pairs of trousers, a hideous amount of white t-shirts all somewhat stained with charcoal, a jumper so thinly knit it almost looks sheer, chipped teale nail varnish, a cream corduroy jacket with a cigarette hole singed onto the cuff, vintage wiry reading glasses he almost never wears, a freshly rolled cigarette behind his ear, a thrifted t-shirt with a warped bart simpson wearing a stethoscope with the caption ‘bard knwos cardiology’ and two crops hacked that way with kitchen scissors that he sometimes wears to paint.‘

EXPERT at rolling spliffs like jst. mkes them so precise n neat....... it’s his super power. his fav thing to smoke frm is banana flavour papers.................... linking 2 this he’s like. bad w emotions bt he does try..... once his friend (maggie) ws sad so he brought her a spliff wrapped in grape flavoured paper bc it’s her fav fruit n jst like. wordlessly gave it to her. it’s the thought tht counts.....

PLOTS!!!!!

plays bass in a band which cld b a fun connection to get together??? i picture the music being like surf rock type like........... mac demarco...... bt he also luvs elliott smith n glass animals n the cure n metronomy n neutral milk hotel n talking heads n radiohead n mazzy star n wolf alice...................... idk jst like.... within tht ballpark i suppose i imagine it being................

mayb ppl he shares classes w?????? i’d like someone tht does a similar course n they hang out tgether when it comes to trips fr the module to museums or exhibits or wtever................ they both stand in front of paintings analysing it rly wrong n saying stuff like hmmmmmmmmm....... i do declare i see a, uh..... large phallus protruding from the centre of this image...... moves something in me.......... n some elderly person looking at it besides them is like Ergh. sickened n disgraced. leaves w a brow severely furrowed

someone he smokes w on the moris rooftop late at night when he cnt sleep??? mayb they’re up n cnt sleep either fr whtever reason n it’s become an unspoken kind of ritual where they always clamber out n find each other there n jst wordlessly keep them company

jude is kind of like. protective almost to a fault sometimes........... mayb some guy he’s punched......................... if they hurt someone he cares abt........... typically it wld hv been a girl he ws kind of like. affected by his first relationship bc she had a bad home situation n ever since jst wnts..... to Protect it’s kind of like an automatic instinct ingrained in him nw 😔 all sounds very noble n well bt sometimes it cn b a bit of an escalation i wnt lie

perhaps a few hook-ups??? jude doesn’t tend to sleep w ppl he rly knows bc he just..... likes it to b an impersonal thing doesn’t like getting attached fr various reasons so mayb they only kno each other via this OR mayb he bent his rules a bit..... cld either work seamlessly or hv added drama if one side hs mre feelings or whtever

currently living in moris w 2 roommates bt i’d love some neighbours perhaps..... mayb someone tht lives directly nxt door to his room n is like ://// bc he plays music loud n weeds always drifting frm his window n mking their room smell if theirs is open too................. or mayb they get on..... mayb there’s a rly mean seagull tht lands on a branch n poos on pedestrians n they both commentate on it frm their windows like david attenborough...... they’re like he’s at it again. they’ve named him n everything

HONESTLY anything if u have an idea hmu i’d love 2 hear it.......... rubs my hands tgether in excitement to plot up a storm w u all

#ruhqintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #drugs tw

[spikeinthepunch]

Monkey Paws | Encounter

dont mind me, just wanted to share this massive post that was actually in RP, i just rly loved the whole thing and it was long so it feels worth sharing!

its been a while since i wrote such character heavy stuff and i had a blast. took out a little detail regarding a character that doesnt belong to me.

While the forest continued to burn, and Monkey could only watch in awe knowing a out of all things ghosts were appearing in this mess of a day. He could hardly imagine what other faces would pop up- so many old faces he hadn’t seen in ages.. But as the cold air of the ghost went away, Monkey Paws stood in a blind blur of adrenaline, unable to focus on anything specific. The elders and warriors that followed for escape, the little wails of a newborn kit.. But the flickering reflections of fire against the rippling river caught his sights. With a stone cold face, his eyes were fixated for a moment. 

Suddenly a chill breeze ruffled the elder’s fur. At first, he thought for a second it had just been a gust against the river, yet its presence was behind him. He knows there is a blazing fire behind him, and quickly swivels his head around- it wasn’t unlike that of the ghost that had just come by just moments ago, so Monkey’s claws are unsheathed as he expects to face another enemy. But there is instead of faint wisp of light, a vague form taking shape. 

Suddenly, a voice rings out in his ears before a face can even be defined in front of him. “You..” The voice is a little faded as it starts. But soon enough a figure fully molds within the bundle of dusty stars. A fluffed up, round shape. An old one, forgotten by most. A mother, a mate.

Monkey’s heart pounds in their chest- regardless of what they churn up from their mind, they recognize the sound and the face of Tapir Spot’s ghost. Nearly one hundred moons since she left, nothing would ever wipe the memory of her existence from his mind. “Tapir…?” His voice is hoarse at first- a combination of smoke and pure emotional ache. But as he stepped towards them, their eyes broke away from the elder and it seemed as if they were no longer as close as they were just a moment ago. Confused and hurting to see her properly, Monkey bounded forward, closer to his destination. He kept padding and padding, almost frustrated but so sorely desperate. “Tapir… Tapir--” The wall of the fire only comes closer, ghostly form molding with the growing flames.

The familiar ghost stops, and when their head pulls back up to look at Monkey Paws, the expression is not like one he’d ever wanted to see. Cold, hurt, defeated. “You…” The word echoes again, but strong. “I know what you did, sweet.” Those previously soft amber eyes are a hard glare on the old tom. “I met her in the stars. I spoke to her.”

As if by an ethereal force, Monkey feels stricken with a cold, hard pang of hurt. He hears Tapir’s words, they come as accusations as he faces his love after so many years. *Her?* His head whirls and he shuts his eyes tightly. He cannot think, he cannot recall anything. He feels something, but he cannot define it. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t…” Monkey’s eyes drift away from their glare, confused with anxiety setting in. 

Tapir Spots leans into Monkey Paws, resting her head against his shoulder. It is cold and hot, rage and fear- all stricken through Monkey’s skin as the two make contact. It is not the soft, warm embrace expected from the spirits of loved ones. “I love you Monkey, I really do.” Their voice wavers, it sounds so tired. “I love you so--” They stop mid sentence, gritting teeth as their ghostly eyes glaze over with tears. They let it run down their cheeks before pulling away to face Monkey again. “You should be thankful I am here. You should be thankful you’re alive.” The last few words almost came as a scorn.

With the pained glare of his loving mate, Tapir leans in one last time, touching noses with the elder, their form glittering fiercely in front of the roaring fires. Monkey’s eyes are fixed on the expression of his beloved mate, memories of her old smiles tainted by the presence of her angry ghost in front of him. He blinks, and tears have started to roll down his face without notice.

”I grant you the willpower to live another day, and many more- so you may not face my wrath once you reach the stars.” Tapir’s voice is cold now. “Keep running Monkey.”

In a flash, the ghost of Tapir Spots is gone. Monkey Paws stumbles back, feeling somehow strengthened in his old body- but at the same time, it feels as if his nerves were injected with the rage of a betrayed lover. His blood boils without thought, his eyes sting with tears and smoke. Monkey doesn’t understand, he can’t fully comprehend the feelings Tapir displayed. But he knew it was real, and he knew deep down in his gut and mind. He’d take her painful strength and use it- he’d run from that guilt he’d ran from so long ago. He’d run from death if he had to. 

#rsrp #monkey paws

[alias-b]

"Neil would have kept trying for you. And eventually, he would have taken pictures of my little girl." Susan welled. Her body gave an odd vibration with the thought. "I can't stop thinking about that fact. I won't for a long time." -Susan broke my heart in this chapter, I love that she's woken up to Neil's shit. Getting closer to Camille is a good thing!! Their last scene was sweet. The dream jarred me though. I keep thinking about what would happen if Cam went to Neil at his manipulation? Scary

I’m so happy that Susan’s growth is being spotlighted. Her heart to heart with Camille was a scene I walked away from so proud of. :) Billy and Camille both got good moments with her. And…your last question actually got me to pull something from my drafts. It’s an AU scene after the break up/Camille’s mental meltdown/her kissing Jim in a moment of illness and confusion.

Yes, there’s a chance she WOULD have gone to Neil in her state. She feels so unwanted at the moment and his manipulation was really getting to her. Awful or not, attachment happens even to people who are abusive. I actually wrote an AU scene where she skips school all the same and goes to him instead of Jim finding her first. It was more of an exploration to prepare for the Camille & Neil convos I had coming. I preferred what I did by a mile, but this helped me feel out Neil and Camille’s relationship and her turmoil and honestly I put a lot of my own isolating thoughts into it. I’m…terrified to post it and still going slow, but I figure if I get more terrible anons, I have double the support from good friends. Also figure it’s relevant to how I feel now so I’m sharing.

So here it is below, be warned it’s uncomfortable and leads to the Jim kiss and there is heavy, heavy gas-lighting and some sexual references from Neil’s bullshit mouth. The FOIL between Jim and Neil is so stark, I wanted to highlight it. It’s not rly edited, I just pulled it. Thanks all.

Open Wound

    Camille swept snowy slush around her feet while a fresh coat fell. Dainty little flakes that stuck to dirty sleet as if to hide it away. Loch Nora was smaller than she recalled. Rollerskating up and down the street when the wind was warm and flowers in full bloom.

  Edna snipping roses to pot some around the house interior. A smile and wave at her floating girl. Stuck close to make sure Camille was safe.

  “Bullshit.” Smoke swelled out from red lips. A cigarette flicked toward the mass of frozen dirt that used to be the Harper house. She remembered Billy bleeding out in her lap and the fire that ate everything in sight. It was beautiful at the time. Now, she and Billy bled separately.

  Kids around here say they can hear moaning and weeping from the plot at night. Camille felt like she was watching herself. Like she was a soul and no body. No skin, no muscle, no bones to rattle from the cold. It was all far away. Her car swerved along ice when she parked near Cherry Lane. More so in the forest.

  Camille Harper was desired around town. Not wanted. That bleated. But, there was one soul who wanted to play.

  Billy would be at school still. Susan at her morning shift in the perfume department. It was a roll of the dice. Camille felt her entire being stretch to wrap around the town. Around this Earth. Cold air puffed and snow began to crunch too loud for any sound to get in.

  Neil knew why she’d come the moment he saw her shaken and wide-eyed there. Red and loud against pristine white snow. No innocence. He was wrapped in a winter coat. Ears prickling pink. Gloved hands swept snow from his truck with a plastic scraper.

  “Camille Harper.” Neil pretended to be blasé about it. Brushing snow and ice with short swipes. Flecks melted on his front.

  She seemed drunk. Half here.

  “Do you see me?” That flitting tone shrunk. He hitched like he might laugh, lip twitching.

  “Yes, Camille, I do see you.” Neil forced his eyes from her expression to the car. A beat. One hand clicked the passenger door open. She stared. He could have said a number of things about how she was trembling and frosting over. Better to come inside where it’s warm and sound. Camille lingered still at the opening and felt red lights blare.

  “Don’t get into that car. Just come back to school.” Billy said behind her ears.

  Billy didn’t want her anymore.

  She crossed with ire. Climbed in. Neil stood there with one hand on the door while she looked ahead.

  “It’s important,” he took his frosty glove off and reached to buckle her in, “that you’re safe.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Hargrove.” Camille gave a dreamy sigh. Didn’t remark that his arm was still over her lap, palm resting on the seat.

  “You’re very welcome, Camille.” He stepped back. “Neil is fine.” The door shut.

  She didn’t hear the car start. Didn’t feel it move. Didn’t even process the music or heat turning on.

  “You’re upset.” He noted. Threw a brick into the silence. Camille turned her head toward his profile when they took a left.

  “Are you hurting him badly again? What did you do to him?” She rasped. “Billy. Do you want to hurt me too?”

  “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Neil sat back in his seat. Shrugged like he might be thinking of what groceries to buy later.

  “He’s different. Bad different,” she decided. “Worse different.”

  “Listen, Camille, I’ve known. This whole thing between you two. I imagine you both learned a hard lesson from it. It’s for the best. Billy was never good with secrets. My boy was never good with much of anything. Pretty girls for one. And you’re the prettiest of them all.”

  He made it sound like such an apology.

  “Where are we going?” She asked finally. Tried not to choke.

  “Moving here, I’ve gotten to know some fine people.” He said instead. “Everyone knows each other and do they love to talk.” Neil laughed. Hearty like a dad. Something vulgar about it. He touched his mustache in thought and came to a red light. “You’ve been crying.”

  “I’m fine.” A quick reply. Sharp and airy at the same time. Camille stared through him. Not at him.

  “I see you, Camille.” Neil set his elbow to the little pull down rest between them. One hand on the wheel. “You lost your parents. I lost mine when I was younger too. I did this, you know? Acted out. Tried to replace them. Learned I never would, but that didn’t stop me trying for awhile.” He parked on main street and cut the engine. Few shops still open from Starcourt taking business away.

  “It’s okay, you know, to look.” He clicked his seat belt off, faced her. “You’re all shaken still. I make you that nervous? Do I not make you feel safe, Camille? You got into my car.”

  And she couldn’t take that fact back. Another chill rushed.

  “I’m upset.” She admitted, felt like for the first time. “I miss the way things used to be.” Neil tutted, caught a tear with his thumb and skimmed down her cheek. Edged the corner of her lips. “I miss my mom and dad.”

  She sounded like a baby, face crinkling. Head tipped to the rest. Fingers clutched at his coat. Neil’s lips lifted as he shushed every little weepy sound. Patted hair.

  “There there, you’re too pretty to cry like that.” Neil eased, tipped her chin up in a way that was encouraging. “You feel safe here. You got into the car with me. I can make it better. Ask me to make it better, Camille.”

  She blinked at him. Really considered it because no one fucking wanted her except one red light that blared and readied to consume her. She felt Billy lick the shell of her ear and utter, mutilate. Syllables caught and Neil sighed when she slipped down, bowing her head as if to pray before him.

  “Shame. Stay here.” Neil slipped away to get out.

  “Wait,” a hand snatched his wrist on instinct. He was looking not at her face, but at the hand on his skin. “Where are you going?”

  “Girls like hot chocolate, don’t they?” Neil smacked the door shut after locking his car. Looked around. Camille covered her face and quivered. Those red flares burned her flesh. She glanced outside and saw herself with Robbie. Too young. Him offering her an ice cream cone.

  She took it. Smiled. Licked.

  She should have just screamed.

  She should have screamed now too.

  Neil returned and offered a to-go cup that steamed. He didn’t buy any for himself.

  “Take a moment and drink it.” Neil turned his car back on. Heat kicked up. Camille steadied her breathing enough to sip. It went down all chalky. Hair stuck to pink cheeks. “Police Chief can’t replace them, can he?” Hands smoothed his tie.

  “Jim is nice to me.” Her back hunched like she was avoiding a crushing blow.

  “Man has quite the reputation. Nothing that should be near such a nice girl.” Neil only shrugged, blue eyes lifting. “Unless, maybe, you’re not a nice girl. Painting your lips so he sees them. Dressing the way you do. Does he like to look at you?”

  “I-”

  “Do you like it when he looks?” Neil almost smirked, it flashed in his cold eyes. “You want him to pat your pretty head and kiss your cheek.” His palm cupped her face. The free hand took her cocoa away to set it aside. “Has he touched you?”

  “What?” Camille reeled back. Neil’s hand came to her knee. Everything locked up.

  “Have you shown him things? Hm, Camille? Taken your clothes off for him so he can see you too? Good girls don’t do that.”

  “We-”

  “You want a big man to kiss you all better. You want daddy to sweep you up.   Make you feel good again. Don’t you, Camille? You just want to feel good again. I understand that too.”

  She twisted, reaching for the handle when the lock came down.

  “Camille, don’t make a scene,” came his chiding, “I think you’re being very unfair to me right now. We’re just talking. I’ve been nothing but kind to you. Aren’t you safe here? Am I going to hurt you?” Neil’s grip on her knee clamped down. She wanted to scream that he hurt Billy. His family. Scream that he was the dirty monster. “You got into this car all on your own. Face it, you asked for me. Say it.”

  “It hurts.”

  Camille didn’t know what exactly was hurting. Everything. Nothing. But, it was an open wound she kept picking at.

  “There’s a place, you know.” Neil’s hand left her leg. The ability to function swept air into desperate lungs. “A place I could make you feel better. You wouldn’t have to do anything. Unless you wanted to. I’d take care of it. Don’t you want to be safe and secure again?” Wet clumpy lashes fluttered shut. “No, you stay right here.” Neil grasped her shoulder to shake. Eyes opened.

  “I see it. I see you.” He sounded so nurturing. “I see what made my damn son so crazy. You do these things to men, you know?”

  Neil laughed again. Camille felt him sucking the air from her. The pang of a jackal’s teeth sunk into her heart.

  An answer was upon the tip of her tongue.

  “Camille?” A muffled knock on the window. Neil’s play cut, he reeled from her quick. Detective Callahan looked less dopey staring there. He gestured for the window to roll down. Camille grew petrified.

  “What’s going on here? The Chief got a call. You skipped school.” He peered behind her. “Neil Hargrove?”

  “Afternoon, officer.” Neil’s smile dazzled. Camille stared at Callahan all paled and tearful. Never seen Phil this serious in all her time working at that station. “Ms. Harper was wandering the street. She’s a friend of my family. I worried. I was about to take her right back to school. Poor girl just went through a bad break-up. It’s my fault, I figured a nice cup of cocoa could solve anything.”

  Camille felt Neil’s warning hand on her back. Knew Billy would pay a price later if she didn’t lie right now.

  “Isn’t that right, Camille?” He chirped too cheerfully.

  “That’s right. I’m feeling better now.” She turned to Neil. “Jim must be so worried about me. I want to get home to him. Right now.”

  His brow twitched.

  Neil hated her and those red lips.

  “I got her from here,” Callahan didn’t thank Neil. Just took Camille’s hand and led her to his own vehicle. Neil stared the entire time. Waited until they drove off before he threw the cup outside with a spatter and sped away. “Camille.”

  “Is Jim at home?” She cut.

  He sighed.

  “Yes, he’s not happy about this.”

  “Oh.” Camille looked at the icy trees. Cracking against harsh winds.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Fine. Fine. Tired.”

  “Why did you skip school? This isn’t you.”

  “Yes, Philip,” Camille sniffled and faced him with red eyes, “it is.”

  They pulled up to the house. Camille felt fear flood.

  “Go on, he’s waiting for you. Don’t skip school again, Cam.” Phil offered. Tried to be careful about it because she was breaking.

  “Thanks for the ride,” Camille got out. Saw her car pulled up. Jim must have gotten a buddy to tow it over. The door opened and Jim crossed his arms there. Already aflame.

  “Skipping? Leaving your car in-”

  “I know.” Camille locked the door. Put her head down to go around him. “I just…needed to get away. All right?”

  “No, it’s not all right. Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Jim’s tone lifted. “I need to know that you and El are safe at all times.”

  “Well, we’re not.” Hands jabbed out and fell. “Can I go to my room now?”

  “Callahan radioed that he saw you in Neil Hargrove’s car.” Jim grasped her arm. “What’s that about?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Camille, I know how that guy is. Just talk to me. Let me help you.”

   You can’t.

  “He didn’t force me into the car.”

  Admitting that made her feel like trash. Jim saw her bottom lip wobble and let go. He rubbed his scruff and turned to sit at the head of the kitchen table. Covered his eyes when irritation twitched.

  “You need to understand that you can’t run off like that. It’s not safe. It’s a risk. We don’t take risks. I know…what happened with Billy is hurting you. I can’t watch you-”

  “Are you mad at me?” Camille crept to the table looking insecure. Hands pulled to her stomach.

  “Yes, Camille, I’m actually furious with you.” Jim’s hand smacked down. Caused her to jump. “Running away from school when there are people after you, I thought the worst!”

  “Don’t be mad at me, Jim, please.” She welled and came to his left side. “I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me.” Hands lifted. Heart pounding. Red lights scorched now. All she wanted to do was smother them out. “It hurts when you’re mad at me, let me make it better. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t be upset.”

  No one wants me.

  I’m not a nice girl.

  “Camille, it’ll be okay, just…don’t do this again.” Jim cocked his head with an easier sigh, lifted his eyes to see her too close to him. He opened his mouth to continue before bright red lips fell upon his.

  Begging.

  Tears wet Camille’s cheeks as she took his jaw and opened her mouth. Moaned. Tried to deepen the kiss instantly, but Jim muffled a gasp of shock. Jerked up and away so quick that the chair skidded to crash into the floor. Camille was still looking at him with her hands lifted aimlessly, huge hazel eyes shining.

  “I…I thought…”

  “Camille, Jesus Christ, what was that?” Jim wiped his mouth and saw red smeared on his hand. His own gut twisted. He looked like she slapped him. Guilt that maybe he led her on pooled. “You can’t do things like that.”

  Camille burst into tears. Covered her face and crouched down on wobbling legs like she might collapse.

  “I’m so stupid,” she cried. Jim recovered and came down to her level. Felt a cringe back into the wall the second he touched her.

  “Hey, Camille. Just breathe for a second. Talk to me.” Jim was too good. The open wound bled out. He managed to get her into his warm arms.

  His girl was confused. Trying to hurt herself. He knew the pattern well enough. Tears wet his uniform. Camille pressed her cheek into the cool metal badge still pinned to his chest. Felt his heart beat under it.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” it wasn’t often Jim used pet names, they made her soften, “you’re safe. I got you. Just take an easy breath for me.” Camille shuddered into his body. Clutched at him and lifted glimmering eyes.

  “But,” Camille cringed through a sob, “can you see me, Jim?”

  Am I real? Am I dirty? Are the red lights going to burn still?

  Jim Hopper had no answer. He tucked her back under his chin. Kissed brown hair. Squeezed Camille so tight. Until she stopped crying and berating. Until she could breathe once more.

  “You just…make me feel safe,” she said, “I’m sorry.” Jim nodded and rubbed her back. “Are you still mad at me?”

  “No, I’m not mad at you.” Hopper looked at the patterns in the wallpaper behind her. “You’re hurting. I just…can’t watch you hurt yourself more, Camille.”

  “I’ll try to stop.”

  “Promise me.” Jim’s own voice cracked.

  “I promise.” She closed her eyes. Exhaled Neil Hargrove out of her skin.

  For a single beat there, Camille Harper felt the wound might be able to close.

#billy hargrove #Camille Harper #neil hargrove #Jim hopper #blurb #mine #writing #ask #anon #reply #Billy hargrove x oc #susan mayfield

[slowdivcs]

plot ideas ! bc i wna plot w all ur muses n it’s good to have a starting point so my brain doesn’t explode :~)

EMI is looking for . . .

a roomie - too broke to live on her own & wanted to move out of her parents house. dynamic could be positive or negative 

rival/annoyance - need some more banter in her life tbh ! someone she subtweets

connected thru her twin brother - maybe elio’s best friend or ex or anything ! would know each other thru association and dynamic can be determined based on connection

an ex - **(aged 20-22) either from high school or maybe early in her college career. honestly a v fun relationship, v teasing at times. could’ve end badly bt they still have good rapport 

a crush - someone emi has been developing feelings for bt will literally swallow them before admitting it 

family friend - maybe they can’t stand each other bt always turn to them during company during family events

ANDY is looking for . . .

a roomie - andy has a cat n comes home in the middle of night, kinda shit roommate tbh 

best friend - someone who deals w his shit and someone he’d die for. someone he sends pics of his cat to. 

confidants - someone who he shares deeper parts abt himself that he doesn’t with the rest of the world, have deep meaningful convos abt the world

hateship - they jst don’t get along for whatver reason

an ex/almost  - **(aged 21-25) most likey his only serious relationship that left him more heartbroken than before bc of whatever reason. prob broke up on bad terms but maybe still have love for each other we discuss !

flirtationship - someone who he loves to flirt n play w lmao

fwb/hook-up/one night stand - lots of options we discuss !

partner in crime - bc andy gets up to a lot of no good 

SIENNA is looking for . . .

a neighbour - someone she bumps into in the halls or tells them to knock the music down when she needs to sleep. could also meet each other on the roof of their apartment 

carpool - sienna drives fast n reckless thru the city in her jeep but she hates pollution so she wld def be willingly to drive ur muse to work jst hang on to ur seat 

almost lover - **(aged 25-30) someone that she got close to and there was a spark and possibility of a relationship but she pulled away bc she got cold feet or something n it’s jst all the what ifs

a current failing relationship - **(aged 25-30) someone she’s dating for the convenience but there’s no joy to be found in the relationship anymore they’re jst used to each other n dont wna lose that taken status 

soft spot - someone she can’t help but spoil and treat w kindness despite her strict n sensible personality, someone she spoils

old college friend/close friend - someone she actually lets loose around whether it be drinking together at a reunion or when she actually has free time. someone to tell her to chill a bit 

MILO is looking for . . .

frequent customer - either ur muse frequents the book shop he works at or milo goes to their place of work, maybe they know each other as a regular

bad influence - indulging milo’s bad habits like sharing a smoke n seeking out abandoned buildings in the middle of the night

old friend - someone who’s known him for a while, maybe grew up together n it’s interesting to see where the world had place them 

ex-friends - for whatver reason they went their separate ways, maybe one of them hurt the other n it’s angsty

lost connection - maybe they had a rly good night out together n connected on a deeper level n milo would’ve liked to see them again but maybe they jst ghosted or something we can discuss 

best friends - prob one or two at most who know him rly well n they have their own lil world 

a muse - bc he’s a writer n loves to hear other’s stories.. maybe he even uses them as inspiration for the book he’s writing without them knowing 

AIDEN is looking for . . .

co-worker - they have each other’s backs at the cafe they work at and their manager hates them 

childhood friend - someone who he grew up with and either naturally outgrew each other or one of them moved away. things are diff now but they still care for each other

frenemies - just a pair that likes to banter and bicker and clown each other, yet somehow they still hang out often, probably deny being friends but care abt one another like only friends do

platonic soulmates - the dream team !! they can live without each other but they don’t want to, get along like family and get thru problems together. prob the one person that helps aiden realize all his potential. act as confidants for each other

college art friends - any fellow artists he might’ve gotten to know n they can do art together, maybe someone to practice his tattoo designs on 

ex-girlfriend - **(aged 20-22) he wasn’t rly looking for love and he happened to meet this muse by chance. they both had their own shit to deal w but feelings jst crept up on them and aiden fell in love forever,, the pure ‘it’s u n me against the world’ kinda relationship until they broke up n he got his heart broken. even tho they’re no longer together aiden will always hold love n care for them 

dormmates - a couple of people who he lives with in one of those shared living space dorms but they had their own rooms !! im thinking abt 4 total in a lil apt style dorm 

#this is rushed bt !!!!! #( * ooc — but i believe that aang can save the world. )

[makesureee]

1-30 ty~

omg no thank yOU ogm ur so swe e t im sorry if i’m not able to answer all of them cause my memory is an actual pile of shit and my favourite songs are constantly changing but so HERE SO WE GO

*viewer discretion is advised because this user is annoying as shit on adderall*

 1. what album do you feel best describes your mood?at the moment, i am like, OBSESSED with the album “my bad” by Good Dog. like. i relate to EVERY. WORD. EVERY. SONG. in that album. i just. i cant cant cant nope.

  2. if your name had to be a song title which song would it be?“Oh.” ~courtesy of Good Dog

  3. what is your go to sad song when you need to cry?i don’t have a go-to sad song. i don’t cry that much anymore either. like, my pain is like, background noise that bubbles to the surface for a second (and on the rare occasion explodes) but usually like literally 2 seconds later im like im good whats up lol. as far as the last song i had a good ass cry to…..i think it might have been A Song For the Late Night People by Kate Micucci. literally not sure tho

  4. what band would you want as the rest of your superhero team?the FUKIN FRONT BOTTOMS

  5. if you had to live in the world of an album which one would it be and why?i think this question is asking which one album i would want to listen to for the rest of my life? to that, my answer is, fuck you my good sir(in middle school and freshman year of high school my ipod had one album on it. one. on repeat. for years. i literally knew the SHUFFLE by heart that shit was miserable and i do not want to listen to those songs anymore)

  6. what song best describes the person you think your soulmate would be?i don’t believe in soul mates, but as far as a compatible partner goes (based off of my most recent song obsessions) i would choose Scarred Pinkies by Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra. i’ll just drop a few lines riiiiiight here damn this post is gonna be long.“Ah, here lies all hope of being normal, all chance of an epic fate,bussing tables in Lake Tahoe, eating scraps off stranger’s plates.Ah won’t you cure me? Take me to your bug out location off the grid.I’ll tell you how I scarred my pinkies,and we’ll await Armageddon,or take a long nap.Then teach me to write well,and clean my lungs.Watch the love of my life sewing dresses on fireflies.Go and get me some real drugs to paint my blood,All while the thighs of women have lost their church,and the hands of men are shaking in the search.”“straight to hell, might as well clock out now and rail that cinnamon.”“The cops knocked, someone soon might let them in.They’ll find our strawberry cough. They’ll find the secret voice that shepherds towards the droughts in our thoughts until it snows, listen i know you know this,i’m losing it.”sry i posted like, all the lines in the song i relate to in regards of a romantic partner. but basically, in this moment i want a girlfriend i can do a lot of drugs with and shit (permitting they’re not into harder shit than i am), but i have so many problems with drugs that i’d also want that person to help me but also no. idk. in the long term i’d like someone who can help me heal from this shit but in the short term, i want to experience the romance of doing drugs with someone because i haven’t experienced much of life at all

  7. create a poem out of song titles.far away, aimless, (johnny goth/johnny goth)i have no idea what is going on. (sweatertooth)the kids on the bus with their heads against the windows, (movies)straight kids playing dress up, (the official suckers)and a body washed ashore. (johnny goth)face down, share the blame. (sweatertooth/the official suckers)no choice. (major persuit)fine, thanks. (walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra)wow that one was depressing and political lolol i just went with the flow

  8. which album art would you get tattooed?a question i dont have to write a paragraph for cause i already know the answer!!! the knife on the front bottoms album cover for talon of the hawk. i don’t want it to be my first tat tho. still brainstorming.

  9. is there a song that you feel could have been written about you?BRUH I JUST CAME ACROSS A WHOLE ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT ME SHIT. well, obviously it wasn’t written about me but i relate to e v e r y word fukin hELL. again it’s “my bad” by Good Dog. but i think the song i relate to the most off that album is “Oh.”

  10. if you could only speak in the song lyrics of one artist who would it be?walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra. his new album is one i also hella relate to. my previous obsession before Good Dog came out with their new album XD

  11. if you could have your favorite artist sing one of their songs to you which song would it be?well this one is just impossible. my favorite artist changes and my favorite song changes like every week like fuck

  12. describe where you want to be in ten years with a song title.booger storm by walter mittynah jk how bout Set Phasers To Fun; Alarm Clocks To One by sweatertooth. you know they only have one album but it’s chill af

  13. which song would be the national anthem of your country if you ruled one?attention class….please stand for the pledge of allegiance…….. COLT 45, 2 ZIG ZAGS, BABY THAT’S ALL WE NEED.WE CAN GO TO THE PARK AFTER DARK, SMOKE THAT TUMBLE WEED,AND AS THE MARIJUANA BURN WE CAN TAKE OUR TURN SINGIN THEM DIRTY RAP SONGS.STOP AND HIT THE BONG LIKE CHEECH AND CHONGAND SELL TAPES FROM HERE TO HONG KONG.SO ROLL, ROLL, ROLL MA JOINT. PICK OUT THE SEEDS AND STEMS!WE’RE HIGH AS HELL FLYIN THRU PALMDALE SKATIN ON DAYTON RIMS

  14. what is your go to happy song when you need to feel betteri never really go to songs to feel better but kimya dawson is really comforting. she’s like, my song mom. her music is like a warm hug until you get sad cause you’re alone and all your problems are still there

  15. is there an album that feels like a friend to you?yeah actually. Hard To Be Around by Lovers Turn To Monsters

  16. what is the album that you always blast too loud?usually all but ESP my drinking album XDD it’s called Too by FIDLAR. i dEF recommend a listen next time ur drinkin

  17. which album do you always listen to with headphones?i don’t use headphones in my house unless i’m so upset and relating to the music so hard that it needs to be as loud as possible. which again, most recently, has been “my bad” by Good Dog

  18. what song are you unable to resist dancing to?none of them. i do not dance, have never danced, and will never dance

  19. what song do you always have to sing along to?every song i know the lyrics to. im a singer. i cant…not….sing….

  20. what song do feel would be a beautiful painting?if i knew i woulda goddamn painted it XD i actually used to think that way about a specific old instrumental pink floyd song once but i can’t remember which one

  21. what album do you wish you could unhear and discover again?all of them!!!!! i love them so much but when i relate to music so hard i can’t stop listening to it and then its mundane and i have to go bandcamp hunting again

  22. which album do you want to be the soundtrack to your life?i don’t rly listen to positive music but as far as my life is going right now i’d say the soundtrack is Well Soon by Walter Mitty and his Makeshift Orchestra

  23. which band would you want to be your family?i can’t answer that because i do not know any of them personally XD

  24. what song do you think of in association with beauty?what

  25. what song do you think of in association with pain?like???? all of them???? i suck ????

  26. what lyrics do you feel were written especially for you.none specifically FOR me. i’m the writer :p i can write songs about/for people and i’m kinda jealous that i’m not on the other end cause idk who the fUCK i am. but as far as lyrics i’ve found that are mE on the dot:“I’m an artist. No, I fake it. I repeat myself all day.I tell the same sad storiesin the same pathetic way.When I’m sober I am boring, when I’m drunk I talk too much,When I’m stoned I finally like myself. I shouldn’t just becauseI’m a filthy fucking liar. I think I’m nice when I am not,And I only feel like I can talk when I am smoking pot.”“Oh.” by Good Dog

  27. what lyrics do you want to doodle on every piece of paper?none that sounds boring

  28. what music do you listen to at 3 am?the same music i listen to all throughout the day because i get fixated on music i relate to

  29. pick three albums to take with you into the afterlife.none because the afterlife doesn’t exist fools get wit tha program

  30. what is music to you in one word?music

like, do you even read this? like homie it’s so long i feel like i get charity asks but like, I DON’T MIND I LOVE ASKS but holy fuck i’m annoying and i would stop being so specific and rambley if people just told me to shut up

#finally finished!!!!! #that took forever!!!! #but the adderall kicked in and im bored and asks make me happy and thank you #i feel like i got one homie out there that just sends me all tha asks #u gr8 #<3 #anon #anonymous #answered #good dog #lavapocalypse

[no25]

redoing a survey i took 4 years a go!!1! :~) 

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

ya because i have asthma so fuck dat // yes

2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?

all of the above loooooool // taken uwu

3: What if I told you that you were pretty?

i’d say thank you, you are too // same answer!!!!

4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?

probably // not that i know of

5: Are you interested in anyone right now?

nah // yes uwu

6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?

nothing. sleeping in on monday pretty much // nothing....

7: Do you want to be single?

i dont mind // not rn bc i am happy in my relationship atm!

8: Did you go out or stay in last night?

i went out and i had jollibee // i stayed in but i wish i went out...!

9: How late did you stay up last night?

til like 1 or 2 i think doing fuckin nothing lol // i dont remember but it was late!!

10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?

junior year??? and RIGHT NOW ???????? LMAO!!! // yes (: rn!

11: Last three things you had to drink?

breakfast, lunch, and dinner: mocha cappucino, sprite, and water // water, strawberry lemonade, baja blast ! 

12: Have you pretended to like someone?

ya man i’m fake af lol // yes

13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?

ya man i’m fake af lol // not sure, but maybe...

14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?

my mom probably // my bf tony omg the answer difference

15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

depends but not rly bc i’m fake af lol // idk wtf i was talkin bout but in terms of platonic relationships, it rly depends on my closeness with the person! and i’ve never been thru a breakup so i cant say anything...

16: Think back five months ago, were you single?

ya what was that like august? been single since i was born tbh // no uwu

17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?

getting ready to shower // i was still in bed lol!!

18: Hold hands with anyone this week?

trisha but she was only holding on to my pinky // tony!

19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?

no bc it is too late for me // same answer lol

20: What would you name your future daughter?

clara after the singer or adora after that prodigy // who the hell was i talkin about... okay just googled who adora svitak was (the prodigy i was talking about) and sis was born in 97... i too was born in 97....damn i was mute for like half my life and sis was in a TED TALK at 12 so thats cool... anyway i want to name my daughter after my mom!

21: Do you miss anyone?

not really. just one person // yes :(

22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?

yea but they were just quick pecks on the cheek // yes

23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?

no it took place while i was sitting down in a chair and it was from my pops on my forehead //  i do not remember actually LOL

24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

ya bc i’m fake af lol… just kidding my friends say i make shit hella obvious sometimes guess i’m not as good of an actress as i thought i was // hmm no but i wish i was... but i’m a PISCES i ABSORB EVERY EMOTION AND IT SHOWS

25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?

fffuuuuuuck yyyeeaaaa // yes :(

26: Who did you last see in person?

my parents? what you tryna ask here // i dont rly understand the contxt of this question, im just gona say my roommates bc theyre in the room with me

27: Are you listening to music right now?

yes chandelier by sia // no i’m listening to an asmr video!

28: What is something you currently want right now?

to finish my hw but that’s not happening anytime soon bc f society // i was sooo angsty back then omg lol but i want new makeup, clothes, and accessories!

29: What is the last thing you said out lot?

this question because i read it out loud bc of the typo // hmmm i don’t remember! i think it was... can u wash my fork

30: How is your heart lately?

heavy // empty (: damn i’ve been depressed my whOLE LIFE huh

31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?

yes because my head gets cold // sometimes!

32: Are you wearing socks?

yes and they’re grey / not rn

33: What do people call you?

chacha or princess sometimes but not really mostly just charlene // charlene, char! not rly chacha anymore! i miss being called chacha! but ppl who arent that close to me started calling me it so its weird! but it might b my fault for pushing the nickname... but i mean nicknames are only a given IF ur close with that person right... so idk why ppl thought itd b ok right away! like cmon ppl!

34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

maybe~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~but if i do i’ll feel like i’m bothering him lol / maybe ! but it’s ok if we dont

35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?

you think this a joke ofc there are wtf!!!! // yes.. same answer LOL

36: Who did you last share a bed with?

my mommy // tony

37: Did you do something bad today?

procrastinate)))))): // same answer, add two shots of ~hate myself~ in there too

38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?

like two days ago? is that sad / today!

39: Do you get stressed out easily?

ya but it’s my own fault i’m hella dumb but in the end i’m just like oh well ALOT which is actually not healthy at all / yes! it fries my brain and i become numb to it lol

40: Will you sing today?

i sing everyday // i hope!

41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?

yes because i am so bad at talking / same answer!

42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?

kaithleen and i like talking to megs but when i do tell people stuff i feel like i am giving them more stuff to worry about so i usually end up not going to them at all lol / tony or my vocaloid sisters groupchat! 

43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?

no; thanks jesus / no

44: What are you listening to right now?

we could happen by aj rafael / same asmr video!

45: What is wrong with you right now?

a lot of things / i need to find new ways of unlearning the harmful coping mechanisms and negativity i’ve internalized, but i know it takes a lot of work for self improvement, so i think it’s easier to just be sad :(

46: What is on your wrists right now?

my sleeves and my veins / wtf angsty bitch lmao NOTHING is on my wrist lol chill

47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?

t’s a house find and it says tiburon and conference center lodge so ig uess it’s from there / it’s a free shirt from a programming company! or gaming i cant remember....

48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?

hot chocolate wtf is hot apple cider i never tried it / hot chocolate!

49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?

i used to / aww same answer, maybe i should start again! but i always lose track of time...

50: Are you a good artist?

fuck yeah. sike i’m a disgrace / no :(

51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?

ew / yes!!!!!!

52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?

who do you think i am do you think people like counting the months backwards? anyway idk i didn;t do shit in july / yes bc i would b at home with my cat!!!!!!!

53: Ever been on a golf cart?

no / not while it was moving!

54: Do you have trust issues?

ya bc i’m fake af lol / yes :(

55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?

tony or kaithleen kinda but she always falls asleep / tony!

56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?

yea think so from my middle school days but the only thing i can rly think of is this pikachu shirt / yes!!! that pikachu shirt, a goofy movie shirt, and a spirited away shirt!

57: Do you use chap stick?

i used to / not the brand chapstick but yes! i think my lips have become too dependent on it tho bc they dry out or sunburn easily if i dont use it for a while or if its a rly sunny hot day!!

58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?

yes probably but on accident pretty sure i’d remember it clearly if it was on purpose / not that i know of!

59: Do you have a little sister?

no but if i consider my friends as little sisters i’d have like seven or soemthing / no!

60: Have you ever been to New York?

no but i would love to go / not yet!

61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

yes and i love them too / same answer !!!!

62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?

ya and it was the opposite sex dude you asked about earlier / yes!

63: What were you doing at midnight last night?

talkin to the late night people you asked about earlier / on my laptop watching asmr videos lol!!

64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

no / yes 😥

65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

ya like 10 / i cant believe i counted... but yes!

66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?

no / yes, tony!

67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?

i actually don;t remember oops sorry mom give me up for adoption / yes, tony!

68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?

i am okay with both but i have to be close to you first to face you if we sleepin on the same bed lol / im fine with either !

69: Will next Friday be a good one?

i dont think so. everyday feels the same and i am bored all the time / im gona speak it into existence, YES!!!!

#personal #survey #enough about me has changed.... #nostalgia is a LIAIR