#THIS BITCH HAS MY WHOLE GOTDAMN HEART

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Reaper of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: After so many years yearning for the gift of magic, Arrah has the one thing she’s always wanted—at a terrible price. Now the last surviving witchdoctor, she’s been left to pick up the shattered pieces of a family that betrayed her, a kingdom in shambles, and long-buried secrets about who she is. 

Desperate not to repeat her mother’s mistakes, Arrah must return to the tribal lands to search for help from the remnants of her parents’ people. But the Demon King’s shadow looms closer than she thinks. And as Arrah struggles to unravel her connection to him, defeating him begins to seem more and more impossible—if it’s something she can bring herself to do at all.

Set in a richly imagined world inspired by spine-tingling tales of voodoo and folk magic, Kingdom of Souls was lauded as “masterful” by the School Library Journal in a starred review. This explosively epic sequel will have readers racing to the can’t-miss conclusion. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: A messy sequel to an amazing series, we get to see the after effects of the fall out of Arrah vs. Efiya from KOS… and when we tell you it is MESS!!!

~Spoiler-Full Review Below~

The Good: 

→ Arrah and Dimma

Geena: One of my favourite things about Reaper was the sprinkle of Dimma’s POVs throughout the story. We got an insight into Dimma’s life before she was Arrah, and how her relationship with the other Orisha and Daho developed. It also really helped build up the suspense near the end and set up plot twists that clocked us near the end. Dimma aside, let’s talk about Arrah. Rena Barron said brooding boys are out, brooding girls are IN! And you know what, we love to read it. The story starts off with Arrah trying to save Sukkar after she snapped all his bones while trying to save him, and she does save him :) Or so she thinks but that’s besides the point. Over the length of the book we follow Arrah’s inner turmoil of suddenly having the power of 10 tribal chieftains and being insecure about whether or not she even deserves it.

I loved Arrah, even when she was holding herself up to a terribly high bar and beating herself up about everything she did. Arrah helped bring her Auntie back from the dead and was like “Damn I suck :/” and thought shattering a girl’s glass (who was flirting with Rudjek) put her on the same level as her mom and Efiya. I was sitting there like NO GIRL YOU’RE PERFECT, YOU, YOUR MISSING TOOTH AND YOUR PETTY NATURE!! 

Kae: YAAAAAAAAAS! Geena summed Arrah and Dimma up perfectly. 

But I would like to add how much I love Arrah and how selfless she is. She’s always thinking about her friends and their safety, the safety of the tribal people, and of course the kingdom. She’s a worry woman, but for all the right reasons. And she also cares about herself; so much even that like Geena said, she beats herself up for the smallest of things. She’s so worried about being evil like her mother and her sister, that she calculates every single move that she makes, debating if it’s really worth it to use strong magic or not. 

As for Dimma, I loved her POV’S. She is a complex character who has been demonized since book 1. We were taught to believe, through the POV of some of the Gods, that Dimma was a horrible Goddess who wrought nothing but chaos. They erased her name from history, LITERALLY. And Dimma became known as the Unnamed Orisha. While reading her POV, we learn that Dimma was quite selfless, much like Arrah (since they are technically the same person). Dimma was full of love and loved even harder. She went out of her way to give Daho immortality as well as his people, because she loved them so much. She defied the rules of the universe for her love, and it only came to bite her in the ass in the end. Like her siblings told her, “A God’s love is a dangerous thing.” And it was, but not exactly for the reasons one might think.

Geena:  Kae’s summary of Dimma and Arrah is AMAZING, you know my ability to connect dots when reading is kinda shit so reading Kae’s summary gave me realization…  Arrah tries so hard to separate herself from Dimma, because she refuses to believe that a part of her is in love with Daho because she herself is in love with Rudjek… but it’s like girl… you have travelled to the ends of the earth to fight and bring back the people you love (the tribespeople) just like Dimma searched the ends of the universe for immortality to give to Daho. It’d be much easier to reconcile your feelings if you just accepted that “Okay, I may have been Dimma but now I am Arrah”

Also another thing I love about Arrah is how she had…. For a time… three dudes in love with her… or at least what she thought was three dudes. Real hot girl shit. 

→ Rudjek and Daho

Geena: You know the character archetype that’s like a snarky boy who knows he’s hot shit and acts accordingly, but when it comes to the person he’s in love with he’s just a bowl of mush. That’s Rudjek, and only Rudjek can pull it off. In KOS, he was slated to be the next vizier because of his father, in Reaper he’s known as a prince because his dad snaked his way into becoming the monarch. So, now he’s the snarky prince…. And the only snarky prince with rights! His POVs were actually so fun to read, like following the politics of the Kingdom and him dealing with his new craven powers…. Which also had him being able to smell pheromones when people were doing the dirty around him 😭

I really liked that Rena gave him a POV, because now we get to see how he develops given the fact that him and Arrah are dangerous to one another, because he saps her magic with a single touch and could kill her. The whole time Arrah is stressing like “Damn, what if he doesn’t like me anymore because we can’t touch” meanwhile Rudjek is like “I’ll fight the Gods if I have to, to keep her by my side” and it’s like 🥺Also, who let a teenager be in control of a whole army… I thought the vizier was a sly and smart man but I digress… Another thing I liked about Rudjek in this book was that he didn’t shy away from uncomfortable conversations with Arrah, regarding the fact that he confused Efiya for Arrah when they did the unspeakable in the clearing in KOS. Like, that was very mature of them and I’m glad they could deal with that misunderstanding… But… hands down… my favourite scene… During the climax of the book Rudjek gets a demon soul shoved down his body, and immediately assumes it’s the demon king…. And his only command to his friends is to not let him near Arrah😭😭😭 I was like PEAK ROMANCE, SOFTEST SHIT, SACRIFICIAL LOVER!!!!! 

Kae: SO GEENA SUMMED UP RUDJEK SO DAMN WELL. LIKE DUDE OMG? Correct. He is perfect. I really don’t have much to add but I just genuinely loved him as a character. He is caring for both Arrah and his friends. He is also one of the few male characters I’ve read that actively tries to go against their father. Most dudes in books are like “Fine puhpa, I shall do your evil bidding.” But Rudjek is like “Sike bitch, I’ll let you think that but I’m doing what I WAAAANT!” 

But okay, let’s talk about Daho. So first off, I love him??? Am I a villain sympathizer now? Tbh, I don’t really see him as a villain. Man’s didn’t commit a genocide or try to scheme Arrah out of her pants. AND HE VERY MUCH HAD THE CHANCE TO and he was like “nah.” And I appreciate that. Because there are a few certain villainous men who I shan’t name, that be on that scant shit. And Daho is just like… genuinely trying to avenge his wife’s death (Dimma) and try to get Arrah to remember that she is Dimma. 

YES, I know he got Arti to bring him back. BUUUUUT, he didn’t tell her to kill a bunch of kids and shit to do it. Arti did all that evil shit on her own and Daho was like “look, i don’t condone that shit. But it’s over and I’m sorry it happened but I can’t change it.” And I’m like… okay, mood. I get it. Daho is sweet and caring. He looked out for Arrah in *redacted’s* body because we didn’t know *redacted* was dead the whole time. And even then, Daho was still like “My bad… But he wasn’t using his body??? So I took it???” Why let it go to waste, amiright? 

Geena: STOOOOP FOR REAL HE WAS LIKE “It was empty, I didn’t think you’d mind” 

Kae: LMAOOO OKAY BUT DEADASS. And like, idk man. He just seriously isn’t a bad person. He was trapped because after the God’s killed Dimma, he was like “BET IMMA JUST KILL THEM” and they lowkey were shook so they trapped his ass in a box for a millenia or whatever. He wasn’t even out to kill all humanity or anything. The God’s were just being some haters and now he’s suddenly the bad guy. Anyway, we stan Daho in this house. 

Geena: Daho is how you write a sympathetic villain. He owns up to his own mistakes even while his demons run free terrorizing people. Kae said it best that he just wants justice for his wife and unfortunately history is written by the victors so the Orisha painted him out to be a bad guy… My dude was just chugging that respecting my wife juice and they killed her… and he also thinks they killed his son… Guess me and Kae are just villain sympathizers now 

The Bad:   

→ The Ending 

Kae: Okay, let’s get it. And I also just want to clarify that when we say “the bad”, we don’t mean we hate it. This is just something that was like “oh fuck, this is BAAAAD! THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOOOWN.” 

But like, good Lord. The ending? That shit was crazy. First of all, we find out that *redacted* aka, SUKKAR. OUR SWEET, PLAYFUL, SARCASTIC SUKKAR. IS DEAD. HE HAS BEEN DEAD THIS WHOLE TIME!? Excuse me while I *SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM*. Like, what an unforeseen twist. This mf kicked the bucket back in KOS when Arrah tried to save him. Turns out… She maybe… Totally… possibly… Absolutely killed my guy on accident. He dead-dead. And this is how we find out that Daho took over his body, once Sukkar’s spirit ascended. It was a really sad reveal and my heart kind of hurt reading it. I straight up wasn’t expecting that to happen. THEEEEEN. GOTDAMN EFIYA. IS BROUGHT BACK. 

Geena: No joke, the ending of Reaper was just one sucker punch followed by another… At first you think Tyrek (the prince from KOS who joins Arrah and her crew on a journey to save the tribespeople) is the demon king, then you think it’s Rudjek because he’s getting possessed, and then you learn it’s Sukkar… The final punch to the gut was Daho bringing back Efiya because his close general asked for her… because she’s his daughter. We were like, DAHO ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU SAW THE DAMAGE SHE DID TO THE HUMANS!!! Like Efiya may have grown quickly in a few months but her brain isn’t fully developed, like that girl is UNHINGED!!! I thought we were done with the Efiya chapter but here we are, and I’m scared to see what role she’ll play in the final instalment of the series. I guess this is the case of bringing back an old villain that can work out really well…  I trusted Rena with the messy Arrah/Daho/Rudjek love triangle, so I trust her with this too 

The Ugly:  

→ Tyrek 

Geena: Remember how I said Rudjek is the only valid snarky prince… Yea, Tyrek can CHOKE!! In KOS he sides with Efiya and she wreaks havoc in the Kingdom, and in Reaper he’s brought to his knees. Rudjek’s dad wants to execute him for his crimes, but Arrah sympathizes with him because she knows how Efiya’s mind control worked. As you read, you get a sense of “Okay, maybe he isn’t bad, he’s helping Arrah and them” but then you get to the climax and you’re like okay nvm this boy was insane… Imagine travelling to a whole other dimension and making deals with demons, because you’re in a fucked up sort of romance with a half-demon girl. He managed to lie to Arrah that he was being controlled by Efiyah, when he was really with Efiya the whole way…. Even when she told him to murder his whole family… this man was vile!! He’s also one of our first fake outs, when he pretends to be the demon king I was kinda disappointed… I was like no this ruins the messy love triangle I’ve been waiting for! But it was just a fake out, Tyrek was just trying to scare Arrah into freeing Efiya, whose soul was in the demon dagger that Arrah used to kill her in KOS. Overall, 1/10 for this man… the 1 point is for when he figured out “Sukkar” had a crush on Arrah before Arrah even knew.  

Conclusion 

Kae: So, I don't have much to add to Tyrek’s snake ass. He really was ugly in the end. I’m glad he’s dead. 

But to conclude, this was such an amazing, refreshing read. Reaper of Souls was a wonderful sequel to Kingdom of Souls. Rena writes so beautifully and she didn’t hesitate to have us readers shaking in our boots. Getting more background information on Dimma, the Gods, and their old ass war, was really fun and insightful! IT added to the story in a way I hadn’t even thought about until I was consuming it all! 

Arrah and Rudjek are perfect angels and I can’t wait to see where book three leads them. I also want to give a shout out to Essnai and Majka for being such good friends to Arrah and Rudjek. Same to Kira and the Cravens. This is a really close knit group of friends who will go to the ends of the Earth (and literally new dimensions) for each other. THAT’S LOVE, BITCH. And we LOVE to see it. 

Geena: For real! Rena Barron set up such an amazing cast of characters, and she really emphasizes the power of friendship in her series and it’s one of my favourite things to read. With Reaper, from the very start, she sets up the story in such a way you’re literally screaming by the end… I think it requires a special kind of skill to be able to set up a story so well that while you do make predictions about what’s going to happen, it still shocks you when you realize you’re right. Cannot wait to see the absolute mess that will be the final book, with Rudjek/Arrah vs. Daho… and the drama it will bring now that the Orishas realize that Arrah is Dimma’s reincarnation.  

#Reaper of Souls #Rena Barron #YA #Kingdom of Souls #booklr #book review #wetalkinboutbooks #bookish #book blogging #book blogger #books #reading #Arrah #Rudjek #our post

[seasidefanasties]

James Fitzjames’s looks rated: a thread

Have the post that absolutely nobody asked for because my thirst towards this man truly knows no bounds 

8/10. Taco hat kind of throws the look off but he’s still being fashionable and cozy and probably very very excited about icebergs. He’s still in a position to high kick all of his haters and that’s valid of him. 

11/10. Not to be horny on main or anything but this is absolutely one of his best looks, especially when he’s vagueing about Francis being salty towards him. 10/10 would absolutely tap this look. He could literally step on me while wearing this and I’d thank him. In other words, THIS IS AN EXTREME THIRST

10/10. MASTER HAS GIVEN FITZY A REAL HAT FITZY IS FREE. Also he’s like barely in this episode but we still appreciate a man because he’s trying his best

1000/10. THE SHEER SEXINESS OF THIS LOOK. THE HAIR CURLS. THE ONE OF LIKE A HANDFUL OF GENUINE SMILES THAT WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE FROM THIS MAN. MY CROPS ARE FLOURISHING AND MY LOINS ARE ON FIRE

11/10 because he gets to wave a gun around while also being incredibly sexy and cozy. No I’m not giving it a lower rating because of what happens next. Let him have his moment of being an Arctic god or w/e.

2/10 because he still looks sexy but him looking like a gotdamn kicked puppy over Sir John’s death will never not be gutwrenching to me (also Tobias you need to stop doing these things with your tongue and shit it’s DISTRESSING ME)

7/10. The sweater looks absurdly comfy lads I’m not gonna lie, honestly, I’d steal that sweater from him if he wouldn’t like immediately kick my ass soon afterwards. Rating is lessened because I spent too long laughing at his SO I AM CONFUSION face, else it would be higher still. 

12/10 because not only is he wearing quite possibly his sexiest outfit but he’s also doing his best Collette from Ratatouille impression. KEEP YOUR STATION CLEAN OR I WILL KILL YOU

1845/10 (you can see what I did here ahahahahaha). Not an overall sexy look, but chewing your immediate superior out for making bad life choices and using Victorian slang absurdly casually along with Tobias Menzies’s excellent death glare? Take me. Take me now, sir. You don’t even have to hesitate. 

3000/10. The showrunners were absolute cowards for not letting him wear this outfit. ABSOLUTE cowards. I’ll go to their house and bang their doors down and demand that they let him wear this dress because he would have looked absolutely sexy in it. But also it might have been dangerous because the sheer godlike energy radiating from him if he’d worn that dress probably would have made my head explode or something. Perhaps this is for the better. Perhaps only having the dress worn in my dreams is a good thing. 

17/10. This is literally the best picture I can find because the lighting in this scene sucks some major ass but just know that his Carnivale costume is the most iconic out of the whole event, hands down. I don’t even care if he wasn’t wearing the dress. Just let me stare at him for a while (and also ignore the fact that IT’S SCURVY TIME FOR JIMMY FITZJIMMY)

900000/10. HAND HOLDING HAND HOLDING HAND HOLDING HAND---

STILL 900000/10 BECAUSE THIS IS FRANCIS HE’S LOOKING AT LIKE HE HUNG THE GOTDAMN SUN IN THE SKY DON’T @ ME I’M EMOTIONAL

100000000000/10 because a part of me will never truly be over how soft this scene is and how it ripped my heart out and stomped it into tiny pieces before gluing it back together. Are we bros, Francis. Are we fucking bros. Are we getting an Emmy like we fucking deserve Francis TOBIAS MENZIES EMMY WHEN

-200/10. We get to see Tobias shirtless but at what cost

10000000000000000000000000/10. IF THERE WAS EVER A MORE PERFECT DEFINITION OF BIG DICK ENERGY I HAVEN’T YET FOUND IT. I AM THE ONE DON’T WEIGH A TON DON’T NEED A GUN TO GET RESPECT UP ON THE STREET--

12/10. Me, getting emotional over James looking at Francis like he’s the goddamn sun???? It’s more likely than you think. 

-900/10 IT’S FINE BITCH WALK IT OFF YOU’RE FINE YOU’RE FINE YOU’RE FINE I DON’T LIKE THAT FEELS BAD SCOOB BUT YOU’RE FINE. OH GOD WE GON’ GET YOU SOME VITAMIN C BRO 

-90000/10 I HATE THIS I LITERALLY HATE THIS I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS DON’T @ ME I ANGY

-100000000000000000000/10 HEY THERE MISTER HICKEY THOSE SHOES LOOK AWFULLY FAMILIAR In conclusion, your honor: I love him (heavily inspired by @radiojamming​‘s Irving ratings, @theiceandbones​‘s Tom Hartnell ratings, and @bomburjo​‘s Goodsir ratings)

#i had to make it because truly my thirst for james fitzjames knows no bounds. you will know this if you've interacted with me on the discord #the terror

[kyu-bri]

Magia Rapport pt 2

@magiarapport​

August 24th prompt: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

It’s hard to choose so I’m gonna just, gush a bit.

As you can probably tell I’m very biased toward the OG girls, I started Magia Record primarily because PMMM had become my new obsession and I wanted some sort of constant flow of content out of decade old anime lmao.

But another thing I think I hooked onto was Inu Curry’s writing. They really know Madoka Magica and aren’t afraid to really play with them- something the writers for a spin-off gacha game (as with most spin-off stories honestly) can be scared to do. Inu Curry made references, revealed secrets and built upon the story we already know- which lets be honest is what we always truly want from a spin-off series. Magia Record proper does this well by putting more magical girls into the world and letting us see things work out better for them than for the original cast, but what I really appreciated with this story was getting to see that old original cast get to get in on that, and these events managed to do that without watering them down any.

Under the cut is me going on for 3000 words about why I love these three events I’m so sorry. TL;DR at the very end-

I’ll go in release order,

A La Carte Valentine was one of the first if not THE first event I got in on. I was eager to bc 1 Gay Magical Girl Shit Guaranteed. And ofc 2 OG Cast participation.

I want to preface by saying I actually loved all the girls’ stories in this. I was very much still in a state of getting used to Iroha’s gang let alone trying to care about the secondary girls. I knew Tsukasa had this angsty Twins Separated At Birth Deal and liked seeing her home life (also I immediantly stanned Take. Regular well-meaning dude who has no idea whats going on just trying his best and hating his boss). I knew nothing about Ami except Cowgirl Meguca and getting the bulk of her personality in one short even I think really kept me from being absolutely sick of her, she’s just a cute silly teenage girl who could be in literally anything and I was able to just endearingly giggle at that. Hinano managed to do the heterosexual unrequited crush cliché without me groaning or missing any of her regular personality. Also was there a Ren part? I don’t remember because everything Ren does feels like a Soft Yuri Valentines Special. Also I love Momoko. Ok moving on to what I Really wanna talk about.

Madoka is genuinely my Least Cared About of the Holy Sextet. I don’t think she’s bad or even boring- Madoka has a depth to her character, like, really deep- but that’s not something ever really touched upon by the fandom. Even when people like her and make her the Heroine she’s Supposed to be, it’s usually in the context of “Girl who feels nothing but kindness and happy thoughts would cut off her right hand to feed to a hungry dog. Isn’t she so Good????”. And honestly, while I understand the point it was going to make, I wasn’t crazy about her sacrifice in the end of the series. (Team Homura “Rebellion Is Good Actually” ftw) All because I think that I’m an Adult Woman watching this like “You are 14yrs old and need to be home playing Sims and not sacrificing yourself for the greater good you stupid silly little baby girl”

So my point is here near all fan content I encounter tends to emphasize whats sort of my least favorite facet of Madoka. I don’t think she made the ‘wrong’ decision in the context she and the story were given, but it’s still a sad thing to show a depressed(!!!) insecure girl resolving to give away her very existence so that every other girl on earth has a chance to just Dream. Oh and they still usually die young. But that’s ok because then she takes them and lets them sleep peacefully forever in her Heaven Basement (Yes I am bitter stan Homura I would yank this savior complex infant girl out the sky too)

MY POINT BEING (The servers closing let me BLEED OUT ALL MY FEELINGS) This event did not do that!!! It made Madoka…….. EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD BE??? ALWAYS??? Showed her HOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW HER??? (Read: Happy and Alive and Confident at no foreboding or sacrifice of anyone else!!!!)

She is Sassy and Surrounded By Friends and Really Funny??? And we get this Ridiculous Oh My God On Crack metaphor about her being this all-powerful apocalypse bringing being which is representing her love for the universe through her Witch form of Wanting Everyone To Be Happy And Safe With Her??? And she still risks herself to save everyone as is her Thing to do but we get to have her do it without erasing her existence as a human being at the end and if that is not some GOOD SHIT????

Ok next:

NGL Sayaka’s (fav character, inarguable best girl, can u not tell) parts in MagiReco til like the last arc have always left me a bit disappointed. She was the only late comer of the OG girls from what I understand and it kind of gives her the air of what a lot of the second(/thirdary?) girls suffer from. You can tell the writers can’t even figure out a trope to apply her to to make her easy and two dimensional to write about so they just don’t know what to do. They definitely try to make up for it (especially in the anime which Praise Be but that’s probably Inu Currys doing) but she’s still lacking like, any of the depth of her personality. Which, I guess I could anticipate. Because most of the fandom tends to as well. (again)

Gonna stop complaining and get on with- That didn’t feel as much the case in her Valentine event. Sure it was still the same formula of “The Issue Is Kyosuke” but that didn’t play out as grueling as her personal story did with “Nine Episodes Of “The Issue Is Kyosuke””

There was one big glaring heart-aching detail of “Mami isn’t really there because SHES IN A FUCKING CULT RIGHT NOW” which kind of jarred the event out of the ho-hum silly valentines sidestory these events usually keep up.

Sayaka has this crisis about Doing Anything Meaningful With Kyosuke which we all know what That’s calling back to, but in this environment we get to have Kyoko come right up and be in a position with her to earnestly and affectionately Push Her To Do It. The lonely little tsundere bitch girl pushes her Not Friend to Give The Bastard The Gotdamn Chocolate Already and for a moment you can only think about What If’s and If Only’s. Sayaka’s is still the weakest of the threes stories in this event but it worked harder to show us different sides of the characters then 6 chapters of Another Story managed to do.

And then there’s fucking Homura.

I will be, eternally grateful for Kuro. As a character that becomes metaphorical for the 2D ways we initially viewed the feathers and just NPCs in games in general, and also like, giving Homura a friend she actually cares about that isn’t the tangled dark web of Bullshit she’s gotten tied up with Madoka in. Please ask me about all my AU’s where Kuro is Homuras first girlfriend.

Seeing Moemura in Magia Record has always been a bit surreal, we never really understand just what stage of Trauma this Homura is in because Multiverses Are Hell, but this event gives us a good chunk of a Homura who still has hope and faith both in the world and Madoka. Theres this wonder to her that while still bogged down by terrible experiences still has the energy to be Trying. And she sees a girl who used to be like her- which when you think about it is probably what Madoka saw in her- and she wants to help. Because Madoka helped her. And Madoka is the best thing in the universe and maybe Homura can be just a little bit closer to that.

Kuro is too far gone though, as is the reality frequently in this series, things don’t work out just because of circumstance. Kuro was a bullied, insecure little girl who realistically shouldn’t have had to become a rampaging monster because of it. We’re reminded of this being the reality of the Madoka universe. Homura, is reminded of this reality. Homura loses this one chance to bring hope into the world like Madoka brought hope into hers.

And then her story ties into the ending of Madoka’s. Madoka saves her life yet again, even as Homura continues to feel miserable and empty. But at least Madoka is with her. The girls then share a quiet, intimate Valentines together. And you sort of understand how Homura fell so far into the darkness that the only thing she was able to still care about and fight for was Madoka’s safety.

That shit slaps. It slaps you right in the heart and causes fucking bruising but then u want it to do it again because you’re masochistic and Meguca Is Suffering.

Anyway I hope Kuroe slaps our hearts more in season2

MOVING ON!!!!

~Nagisa’s Wish~

Ok, I don’t remember what got me so simp over Nagisa, I think it was the heart-aching irony that Mami adopts the witch that fucking ate her. But that is my baby now and I’d die for her. Fandom Charlotte whose pink and silly and loves her mom and is Mami’s cancer-riddled girlfriend is cool and all but she isn’t a tiny Halloweeny baby whose fucking bitter angry and manically obsessed with cheese due to PTSD.

I had saw a summary of Nagisa’s Wish reposted just to quickly explain Nagisa’s backstory, and as such immediately had to search out if that crazy ride was true- so I actually watched this whole event probably before I downloaded the game. It was surreal on its own but replaying it when it came to NA didn’t lessen it any- I got to process more of what I was witnessing and as result stanned Yu pretty hard.

I guess to explain my Emotions here, saving Yu for later- calls for me to just, describe who Nagisa is as a human being and my headcanons surrounding it all with what this event gave us. Whether you consider it canon or not it’s one version of events that we were given and that I am all for accepting.

Nagisa’s Mom was a celebrity, she could have been an actress though I also like the idea of her being an Idol. She met Nagisa’s Dad oh-so romantically and got knocked up- they very well could have been married but it doesn’t seem clear enough. He seems to have left too suddenly for legal matters like that. Nagisa is approximately 11, and while she seems to remember her Father, she doesn’t in the sense of having had a relationship with him or any feelings. Her Mother has to “explain” why he left, so Nagisa was probably still young even if not a baby. What I’m getting at here is the timeline for when Nagisa’s Mom Got Like That. Nagisa can remember her from before she was, and then says that she got sick after her Dad left. So what I’m wondering is did Daddy Momoe ruin this young rich girls life, give her syphilis and then leave her with a baby she was unfit to care for in poverty? I know half of this is running on anime logic but Holy Shit all the possible ways reasons and ideas for why things could’ve gotten This Bad.

Is it ridiculously dark and edgy that the original story we were given was “Girl wishes her dying mother could have her favorite cake but then realizes OOPSIE-DAISY I could have wished for her to Not Die instead!!!!” got turned into “11yr old hates her abusive mother so much she wants to make her suffer in the most symbolic way she can and then goes mental when she isn’t able to do it”??? Yes. But if I had the mental capacity to I have to admit I was in a position to be just as bitter at that age too. I can’t call it unrealistic. I may infact be projecting hard with how much I support and enjoy this backstory.

Anyway Nagisa was in such a state of trauma and distress at a horrifically young age when she died that it broke her mental faculties so severely that even when she came back as a literal Angel of God she had blocked it out so deeply and thoroughly she seemingly regressed to an even younger capacity and hyperfixated on the trait that she has before used to try to bond with her Mother who she had died hating.

And that also slaps u right in the heart.

A N D T H E N !

~Beachside Bonds~

Just the simple structure of this story was so enjoyable and nicely done. We finally get to see the OG girls in a context we wouldn’t be able to in literally any other scenario. They’re going on a summer vacation together and Homura is sentimentally journaling every single second of it. Is this mayhaps because she’s never gotten to be this happy and blissful with these girls she loves so much??? Of course this is are you not paying attention what the fuck. Homura is so optimistic and healed and hopeful she’s acting like what she might actually be doing as a normal teenage girl. (A heartrending contrast to the end of her Valentines Special)

We get nothing short of pure fluffy Slice Of Life shenanigans on the beach which even includes a bunch of the Kamihama girls that the OG crew knows! And they talk about it! And introduce eachother! And their friends commentate on it! Ren gets to see Kyoko Not Being A Bitch and then Sayaka teases her about having made friends and oh my god my heart is turning into cottoncandy as we speak Mom holy FUCK

Sayaka’s existence fucking matters in this story! It’s her families Hotel they’re staying at and she has relationships and memories with the creepy twins that live there and she talks like a fucking person??? And gives opinions??? That aren’t just copypasted “Justice is Good and Bad things are BAD!!!!”

Mami is fresh out of her fucking Cult Drama and she’s still trying to be cool Senpai but then she DECKS Homura in the face and gets scared by the ghost stories and then turns into pudding and waxes nostalgia at Kyoko out of nowhere IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL????????

G H O S T S ? ? ? ?

Y U ! ? ! ? ! ? !

(IS G A Y ! ! ! !)

This whole fucking backstory and truly horrifying Romeo and Juliet on Acid love and death story between Yu and her girlfriend and like if I wasn’t fascinated enough by Yu just being the creepy organ harvester before but apparently thats what she became after she literally made some sort of wish that erased all of her memories besides the nickname her sweetheart used for her and coincidentally also added to her the task of killing all Bad People?????

Yu made a wish to be able to get rid of All Bad People preserving the innocent version of herself who grew up with this girl and it was right after a failed double suicide attempt on fucking Doomed Lovers Cliff fucking Lifetime Will You Ever.

It then pairs with Homura whose PTSD gets to shine through a bit in being unable to believe any bad sort of Madoka which how could you try to force her to at this point while Also pairing Homura with Ren in the “Gay Love Saved Our Lives: Traumatized vers & Vanilla vers”

I don’t remember if there was a symbolic finale and tbh I have forgotten a lot of the details with Yu and her girlfriend Whatsherface because that shit was just so shocking and bizarre to read and much too painful to reread in a timely fashion just.

That shit hurted but it was full of so much love and hope both doomed and stolen but still was wrapped up in the comforting concept that This Is The Universe Where Homura Gets To Be Okay This Time.

She’s still scarred beyond comprehension and this ghost drama accentuated it all but at the end of the day this is still the Safe Universe where all of them are alive and the Holy Quintet are friends and they’re all going to be okay (Godoka & Aniplex willing) and so many of us love Madoka Magica because it shows girls fighting through the same pain we’ve been through and keeping their hope alive and here we get to see them actually find peace in a clunkily written fanservicey spin-off mobile gacha game and hey, that made me happy while I got to experience it. Thanks for the ideas and memories and tragic backstories and funny thirdary characters MagiReco I’m gonna take em all and Run.

Akjsladbfalkjfsbslk If you read this all without getting a migraine or blocking me ily thanks for listening!!!!!!

TL;DR

Me likey A La Carte Valentine bc it’s silly and gay and I simp Kuro

Me likey Nagisa’s Wish bc sawft baby is good and so are Tragic Edgy Backstories

Me likey Beachside Bonds bc Gay Ghosts and Our Girls Finally Get To Be Happy Peaceful(ish) Teenage Girls and that’s all I want for them ;w;

Reeses In Pieces ya’ll

1Ten 2More 3Words 4To 5Hit 6(3000 7Words 8Woo 9Boy 10Howdy

#magia rapport #magia record #pmmm

[absollnk]

Absol's Journey's End progression, act 1: prehardmode

(this post contains sarcasm not marked with /s because a., I'm not targeting any real people and b., It's for emphasis. I will also be explaining things that may not need to be explained to seasoned players in order to make this a little more accessible. Tw for sparse cursing)

wow

I'd like to call myself good at Terraria. I've played across several platforms since patch 1.1 and know way too much about this spectacular sandbox's intricate details. I can blaze through most bosses effortlessly if I'm prepared. I've done playthroughs of every class in expert mode (except summoner, couldn't find a slime staff even after farming :/).

It's so strange to be bitch slapped all the way back to square one just because I've never touched a keyboard before.

I don't remember what my initial key layout was, but currently, the important ones are-

WASD for movement

C for inventory

R for mounts

F for quick heal

B for quick buff

Space for jump

LeftAlt for smart cursor toggle

M for map

Left click for action and right click for interaction, and

Mouse 3 (scroll wheel *press* for grappling hook.

You should've seen my hour-one gameplay. It was sad. I couldn't change directions while jumping. I was regretting choosing expert mode difficulty. If I wasn't using journey mode's research system as a crutch, I'd probably still be pre-skeletron. I didn't even have enough skill to use the step stool accessory, which literally just requires holding up.

But, in the long run, I got better way faster than I could've anticipated. First, however, on irl day 2, I killed the Eye of Cthulhu on my fifth try after being torn apart by its last-resort Wacko Mode 4 times. At that point I was decked out in full gold gear with the fast and piercing jester arrows, so I really felt that the keyboard was holding me back considering that I usually do the eye armorless (admittedly I only had 100 life, but I usually do that too.)

The next day, slime rained. I thought that the king would be free gear, so I warped back to the surface to bring him out. He wasn't. He spawned on top of me, dealing 50+ damage immediately, wiping out half my total HP. I instinctively tried to use the shield dash to get the hell out of there, but I hit the inside of his body, which made me bounce back, which made me get hit again, resulting in death. The fight lasted less than 10 seconds, and I could only see the fucker for two of them.

With my spicy new tendon bow from the eye, I thought in my tilted rage that it would be a good idea to go and beat up the Brain of Cthulhu. I was itching for beefier armor and it was the gateway between me and crimson/molten gear. I set up an arena above the crimson made of two long rows of platforms covered in health regen-boosting campfires. With a stack of its spawn item (thanks journey mode), I brought in the first one to size up what I was dealing with.

I died pretty well. In fact, this is where I died the best out of the whole run so far.

The first attempt went surprisingly well. My lovely and incredibly sexy jester arrows made dealing with the creeper hoardes *relatively* easy. Phase two did not apply to that. I had brought along a burning mace because it had the dual functionality of circling the player or being shot out and coming back again like a baseball on an elastic string. This would theoretically allow me to attack the brain if it was far away and defend myself if it was too close to me. I did not know that the mace had very little knockback while it was spinning. This plan did not work.

ELEVEN atempts of trial and error later, I won. By that point, the creepers alone had dropped enough materials to make the crimson armor without ever actually killing the boss, which is pathetic. But I won, and I didn't cheat. I'm still in the easy baby phase of the game. At this point I'm starting to realize why most players statistically chop down a tree and ditch the game forever.

It's irl day 3. Next up on my blood feud against the children's video game was skeletron, the next step in progression that makes the final boss of prehardmode a little bit easier and the thing preventing me from seeing my hair. I set up and even longer 3-layer arena and prepared to not have fun, as skeletron is known in my head for being a dumb bitch who cheats with fast, homing projectiles and an un-telegraphed chain attack that will instantly kill you if you can't grapple out.

He took two tries. I don't get it. I was probably getting better at the controls by then, but *that much* better? Like, the successful attempt wasn't even that close. Whatever. I was annoyed that the stupid brain gave me so much trouble, and I seemingly couldn't be happy after a boss fight even if it went well. But, since we take those, I proceeded into the dungeon to find a bunch of disposable weapons and, more importantly, the cobalt shield. I didn't have to take knockback anymore. If I rematched the king slime then he was fucking dead.

The clothier moved in and I bought the familiar wig to reveal my luscious locks.

Queen bee is next. The fights were standard, but I learned that she apparently enrages on the surface? I always fight her there, except for this time when I stayed underground for funsies. She was so much easier underground. Good to know, I guess. I could've probably done her before even the Brain.

Because I'd never been able to before and because I happened to find the tavernkeep after the bee fight, I tried out the old one's army which logically and appropriately kicked my ass. It was a reality check for sure (things were going smoothly since after the brain minus movement) but it was also a neat experience.

I mowed through the gobins, finally maxed my hp, and then it became Wall Time. My loadout was now molten armor with the Molten Fury bow and the Sunfury flail (which for some reason has like ninety base dmg??? This is a PREhardmode weapon? It has NO business doing 90+ but hey I'll take it). I was also rocking the blizzard in a balloon, band of regen, fledgeling wings, lightning boots, and shield of Cthulhu. I felt like I was finally strong enough in-game and competent enough with the controls to advance to hardmode. I was finally good enough at the video game to change directions while jumping.

I built a roughly 1,900-block long bridge in hell out of the blast-proof dungeon bricks. My plan was to run far ahead of the wall and just kill it with dynamite. I grinded for a voodoo doll and yeeted it into the lava, murdering Andrew the guide with questionable morals and bringing forth the wall of flesh. Little did absol know that they forgot to pack the main part of their plan, dynamite. I realized this, contemplated in-game self murder to end the hopeless fight early, but then I had an epiphany. What if I didn't cheese the boss and fought it legitimately?

With my epic gamer status and pride on the line and expecting nothing more than failure, I whipped out my good ole 100-gotdamn-damage Sunfury and tore through the Wall's hungry appendages.

This is all cool and good on paper. I'm doing consistent damage and I'm not dying. That's how you kill bosses. Things are going well, life is good.

I check the map and learn that I've already used up two thirds of my hellbridge and that the wall was only just below half health. Oh no. Things are actually not going well and life is bad.

I switch to the bow, hoping that the speed and accuracy result in better DPS. Better it was, and I would be all set if it weren't for the Wall's gimmick. I was indeed doing more damage, but as it loses health, it gets faster. I'm at a point where I have to be running at full speed almost constantly to stay a safe distance away. The Wall's health still isn't in the dark red zone and I'm almost out of road. I'm starting to take steady damage from the exponentially faster eye lasers and leeches. I run out of bridge and have to hop from lava lake to building to lava lake in order to not burn alive in the infernal orange juice. New areas are being revealed on the map because I'm fighting in an area I've literally not been in yet. I'm too busy focusing on not being deep-fried that my aim suffers tremendously. I fumble while switching back to the flail for quality over quantity, costing me precious seconds. The wall now moves faster than my top speed. I mis-time a jump and right before the wall disintegrates me between itself and a building, it dies.

I audibly moan in real life.

I go and check the treasure bag after a few seconds of mental recalibration. I got a laser rifle and a ranger emblem, along with the standard demon heart which I immediately wolf down to slap on the emblem. I guess I'm a ranger now.

Recap:

King Slime: still alive

Eye of Cthulhu: five attempts

Brain of Cthulhu: twelve attempts

Skeletron: two attempts

Queen Bee: two attempts

Wall of Flesh: one attempt

The spirits of light and dark have been released and my gamer status is intact. Absol's next victim-victim relationship is with the Queen Slime, but that'll have to wait until the hardmode post :)

Thank you if you've read this far!! Lemme know what you think about this kind of thing, it was fun

#.txt #Terraria #journey's end #absols write #long post #i wish I could add a cut

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 228

Alex

"Aye, so where did you sleep?" Hidia asks me loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Bitch, don't." I whisper.

She giggles still talking loud. "What?"

"With your man?" Chris asks. "Aye, where Jamaal?"

"Getting his daughter ready. Same fucking place he was last night. With his daughter." I roll my neck. "Auntie Debra got two beds in her room nosey-ness."

Hidia laughs. "Cockblocking from all directions. Where this daughter at? That's why you not feeling Mr. Workman."

I look at Marco sitting next to her. "Oh he just Mr. Workman now?"

"What was he before?" Marco says after seeing me look at him.

"Don't even try it." She says to him putting her hand in his face. "Know your stupid ass can't argue worth a damn."

Chris leans forward on the table. "Well got damn Hiya. I thought you were nice."

"Okay." I laugh.

"I am nice." Her bipolar ass says happily. "I just don't take that shit. You not bout to make me look like I'm fucking cheating when I'm faithful and I know it."

Jamaal sits down at the table looking back. "I thought Lexi would be out of place with a bunch of babies."

"Naw, Hiya got a 5 year old and Leah daughter about... older than 6." Chris says.

"Well she ain't gonna get shit out of my son." Hidia says looking back at him.

I sit up looking at him. "He still won't talk to yall?"

"Hell no." Hidia says. "Marco ass says its cause I talk too damn much."

Marco turns his head towards her making his dreads fall all in his face. He was a light skin mixed fine motherfucker. His mother was Honduran and his father black. He like 6ft and all muscles with a face full of hair. He is fucking worst than Trey when it comes to fucking Hidia. That's why I did that. She complains about it all the time. It's funny how the fine ass motherfuckers can't believe they can keep a woman. So insecure.

"You play ball, Marco?" Chris asks.

"Soccer."

Chris makes a face. "No thank you."

I take the whole plate of egg muffin things. Can't think of the name of them but gosh they taste good as hell. I make a face at them.

"What are these?" I snap.

"Vegan frittata." Chris says reaching across the table and snatching the plate before I could think about it. "For vegans."

I suck my teeth. "Christopher..."

He laughs wickedly. "You don't know me, man."

"Vegans don't eat eggs." I look at Jamaal. He looks my way. He always looking at me. I smirk at Chris then whisper. "Take em back."

"What?" Chris scrunches up his face.

Jamaal takes the Frittatas handing them across the table to me. Chris laughs really hard and starts talking shit to Jamaal. I look at Hidia then stand up.

"Bitch." I say to her.

"Damn." She says covering her mouth. She swallows her food. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I grab the frittatas and walk away. I only assume she is following me. I go into my room and sit the plate on the bed.

"You okay?" Jamaal asks.

"I'm fine." I snap.

Hidia walks in the room eating her waffle. "I go walking away from the table and Marco's ass sticks his fork in my plate. No. We not sharing shit all that food being supplied on someone else's budget. Now I see if we... Jamaal. We really don't need you, boo."

"Damn, I just wanted..."

"I know, I know. All you men think you matter. Take your butt and your cute outfit back to the table."

"I do have him looking good, right?" I say stuffing a frittata in my mouth.

Jamaal sighs walking out. "Aight."

Hidia waves at him then leans on the dresser. "So what you need a tampon, pad, condom... i don't use those tacky ass cups but the store has them."

"Cups?"

"Yeah, you squeeze em and slide them up in your vagina..."

"Umm..." Amber says making a face and kinda closing the door. "Yeah maybe you got it under control."

Hidia laughs. "You one of us. Coochies shouldn't make you uncomfortable, bae."

"The uncomfortable part is having to describe some shit that you squeezing... I don't wanna know if we finding out after 25."

"Oh just come in. I'm talking about those... anyway. Girl, what you need?"

I roll my eyes. "A pregnancy test."

Hidia sucks her teeth. "Oh you fucking lying."

"I got one." Amber says walking out.

"Wait." I say but she had already closed the door.

"What the fuck going on?" Hidia says standing up straight. "Bitch."

I wave my hand. "Don't say nothing."

Amber comes back in the room. "Sorry I got carried away."

"Did you?" Hidia snaps when Amber drops a bag on the table.

"I was like buying these for charity." Amber laughs. "Charity, right?"

I laugh picking one out the bag. "Yeah bitch my name Charity."

"No..." Hidia says pointing to Amber. "Are you?"

"I can't piss without Chris there, better yet spend 5 plus minutes in the bathroom."

"So let's all pee on a damn stick."

Everybody freezes when the door opens. Fadiya stares around the room awkwardly. She had all of us scared. She comes in the room and closes the door softly still confused. I blow breaking the silence.

"Who would think the first time you fuck somebody without a condom your shit disappear? Poof." I say emptying the bag.

"Or fucking your ex baby brother, right?" Fadiya says.

"What?" I snap then whisper. "Bitch you pregnant?"

"By her ex's baby brother. Let's keep the juice." Hidia says grabbing a test. "Oh no. I ain't fucking taking shit with yall. This not high school. This ain't no damn pregnancy pact."

I stuff my mouth then walk toward the bathroom. "Me first. I had to pee 5 frittatas ago."

  Trey

A part of me really wanted to open up that box and let Cammie's mother know about what happened to her in college. The other part of me says I'm a coward for drawing the attention to something else. I love my Jayla and who knows what tragedy she will have to relive. I touch her thigh. I got you baby.

"That's selfish of me. This not about them." I say looking at April. You gonna back me up?

"It's about anything that safely comes up." Wanda says.

I shrug. "I agree but we pushing this if she says she doesn't want to talk about it."

"Well then Trey talk about what's going on with you. You say you fine. Do we just let that go?"

"No, cause I'm not fine." I say.

Cammie looks at me. "Why not?"

I shrug. "I just want different things in life and it ain't working."

"Say what?" She snaps.

"I mean..."

She makes a sassy face. "Take your time and say it right. We got time to hear you out."

I chuckle at her attitude. "I'm saying I want to be out there hustling and making moves. I want to be the man on top. Have all the money I can get. You know? But I just want to sit home and be with my family. The pull isn't working. It makes me fucking crazy."

"That's very understandable when you don't set clear realistic goals for yourself." Wanda says. "You know Trey when have you ever just stopped and dealt with everything that has happened in the last year. You got married, had a baby in the hospital, went on a career altering tour, and released an album. Have you dealt with any of this?"

"I've dealt with it. I got through it."

She leans up towards the table. "What made you not take your life?"

I look at Cammie. "I wanted to hear my baby voice."

"Tremaine?" Cammie says tears running down her cheeks.

"Not your son?" April asks.

I shake my head squeezing Cammie's thigh. "No. They have her. They have the best thing for them."

"Me by myself is not the best thing for them jackass."

"Jayla." Her mom says softly.

April whispers something to her. I rub on Cammie's thigh. She blows shaking her head. I mean it was what I was feeling. It was the truth.

"I know different now."

"Do you Tremaine? Was Lane fucking better off before you met him? Was he good not even having a chance to know his father? And you gonna do it to Caden willingly?"

"I wasn't thinking about that."

She sucks her teeth. "Of course because you were being selfish. If something happens to me then..."

"No. We not talking about that shit." I retort.

"Tremaine, yes the fuck we are. I got to know that you are here for my boys and not just me."

I turn to her. "I love the fuck out of my sons. I just don't want to think of losing you."

"They shouldn't have been easy for you to erase."

"Jayla you wouldn't fucking know what drugs will help you erase."

I just said the wrong fucking thing. I wanted to take it back immediately. Gotdamn. I lose all the fucking control I had. She springs up from the table and starts to walk away. I get up on her heels. I stop her.

"Baby, I'm sorry." I say hugging her.

"Get off of me. How the fuck you gonna tell me? Like..."

I hug her close to me against her will. "Jayla, I'm sorry."

"You can't keep doing shit like this."

"I know." I say kissing her head. "I'm sorry."

She hits me. "For what Tremaine? Why the fuck are you sorry? Let me go."

"Jayla." I say not listening.

"Let me go!" She screams.

I let go of her backing up. I always fuck stuff up worse than they were. That's the reason I feel like I don't deserve her. Shit like this. I can't get my fucking self together and its tearing us apart. Painfully and slowly. Ripping everything we could be apart before we even get it together. She walks out of the room. Nobody tries to even stop her. She didn't want me to touch her and that shit had my heart burning out my chest.

"I don't understand." Her mother says. "She is just so angry. So hurt."

"You can really feel it can't you?" Wanda says.

"Oh yes. I am her mother. I can feel her when she is miles away. Just hurting. It just hurts when you have to let go of the person you loved so deep and everything they left behind forces you to let go as well."

I turn around when I hear a chair move. April was hugging her and saying something low to her. I wipe my face defeated. I walk out of the room to find Cammie.

[fortunatelycooltrash]

So people love to say that America doesn’t have free healthcare because the quality would sink and the waits would go up. Now, while those are valid worries despite being no excuse for the atrociously high prices of even minior procedures, I’d like to share some bullshit that I’ve experienced involving normal US hospitals and medical branches alike.

My root canal is going to cost 2500 dollars because it is not covered by most dental plans despite it being a completely necessary procedure that directly affects my health. Absorb that then absorb the fact this plan covers some of braces. The crown alone is costing over 1200.

I almost died in a hospital waiting room because my ‘stomach ache’ that was causing me so much pain I was sick with it wasn’t severe enough to qualify for immediate attention. Undiagnosed Appendicitis.

My nephew and sister almost met their end because an incompetent doctor misdiagnosed my sister with a URI. She had type A flu.

My cousins father had a doctor who refused to diagnose him despite him coming back constantly because of lethargy. Said he couldn’t find anything wrong. Her father was poor and had really bad insurance. Finally he went to another doctor and was diagnosed with kidney cancer. He could have lived if he had been diagnosed a year or two prior before it spead but by the time he got his diagnosis, it was too late. He died, I believe, a few months later but I was young so he might have made it a year or longer.

I suffered from chronic nosebleeds as a child to the point that blood didn’t even scare me anymore. The doctor told my mother that it was coming from wounds inside my nose and I was most likely picking at it and there was nothing medically wrong with me. My mother, knowing even as a child I knew not to waste her money, took me to another doctor. Severe Anemia. Still suffer from it too this day. Have to take those horrid tasting red pills🤢.

My aunt constantly butchering her budget because she needs her insulin and it’s cost keeps getting higher despite it remaining relatively the same. Luckily my state is looking to cap it at 100 though if that will actually go into effect isn’t determined yet.

My mom, bless her, repeatedly going in for her back aching only to be told pain was normal for someone of her weight and age. Nope, she is a nurse and turned people that were 300 pounds or more. She had completely blown her back and had a pinched nerve that was so severe she could barely stand without pain. The doctor that diagnosed her was surprised she could even walk.

My sister, having a grand mal seizure in the nurses office of a high school. They told her to stop faking. That bitch wasn’t even a real nurse so this one doesn’t count but I had to mention this because why the fuck wasn’t a registered nurse hired?

My (other) aunt having minor chest pain then suffering a heart attack in the waiting room because they had her wait so long since she didn’t seem serious. I’m sure that’s going to have lasting damage that could have been easily prevented.

My sister giving birth and getting a 28,000 dollar bill for a room and care for her and the baby. She was there for a day and a half. She didn’t even have a long or complicated delivery.

My mother being told she was completely fine to continue working despite having an off feeling about her third pregnancy(about 24 years ago) the doctor told her there were no complications and she could go on as normal. She miscarried her seven month along daughter three days later because her placenta was underneath the baby and tore. That doctor is still in practice.

The nurses in my mothers delivery room ignoring both her and the monitor. Which, if they had been looking at, clearly desplayed my older brother with his umbilical core wrapped tight around his neck. He lived because my moms main doctor walked in and had a conniption fit when he noticed the vitals dropping. He’s the doc my sis uses now. A good man.

(Same bro)My older brother turning blue everytime he cried being brushed off. Hole in his heart that has since closed.

When I was younger, I slipped in the shower and hit my head so hard against the metal lining of it(stall shower) that the skin split open and abscessed. My doc treated the abscess but did no further testing after a 4 hour wait. As we were leaving, I don’t remember much of this week my mom told me, I vomited and passed out in the parking lot. Had a concussion.

My brother being misdiagnosed with the flu, strep, and a few other things over the course of a few weeks before one doctor finally tested him for HIV. It was positive. Luckily he only had one partner. Unluckily, the partner was the one that gave it to him via cheating on him.

Me, almost dying of a violent case of strep throat because they said I had a sinus infection. My fever peaked at 104 then, blessedly, broke. I do not remember this as the memories of the days I was sick are incredibly fever burned but I remember wrapping blankets around me because I was so cold.

The strep attacked so quick and harshly that if I had lived alone it probably would have killed me since I wouldn’t have been able to get help and I would’ve kept trying to get ‘warmer’ and helped raise my temp over 106. You typically don’t come back from that one unharmed. If at all.

My older bro(cord baby) being told suffering from auditory hallucinations was a common thing(not wrong but they should have actually asked about his family history and idk, did more??) he had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He is medicated and much happier now.

Me breaking my gotdamn pointer knuckle and the x-ray person getting blurry x-rays that she used despite the fact that they weren’t accurate. Thank you bitch, now my abnormally short pointer finger clicks because it began to set wrong.

Theres a few more but I’m currently giving my bro a hard time for texting me a text meant for his bf so imma bounce for now. May add more later. The whole point to this was to show people that don’t want free health care because the ‘quality would go down’ or the ‘wait would be too long’ that the wait is already long enough for you to die anyway and the quality already sucks ass if you’re poor because they will not diagnose you correctly.

Or They will misdiagnose you then blame YOU when you sue(happened to my mom in that miscarriage one but because he hadn’t wrote a release back to work she had no actual proof he’d told her she could.)

Or They will overcharge you for things that have a far cheaper value simply because they can and you can’t do anything about it because you need that procedure or medicine to keep your health good.

I can understand things like heart surgery or transplants, you know, the big major stuff not being free because yeah that shit takes a fuck ton of resources and care so I get it, I do. I can reasonably say “Yup that should cost thousands.” I mean, I’m don’t even avocate for fully FREE healthcare, I just want a limit on their overpricing bull shit to where it matches with economic standards.

You can’t expect someone with an average 7-4 job that pays 10/hr(oooh ya, y’all think I’d go higher? Guess what, young people starting out their careers also get sick!) to drop thousands upon thousands of dollars for whatever. The sad thing is I can say ‘whatever’ and you can actually think of multiple things that aren’t that major or that resource draining yet still cost thousands.

Even someone making 15/hour couldn’t do that and I’d be hard pressed to say even 20-25/hr could do that. They may have it better and be able to pay it off faster but they’d still be in debt for a while or have to work years after their planned retirement to make up for the lost savings if they were lucky enough to have them.

I’ve also heard people complaining about it raising taxes but you’ll spend way more getting something done at a hospital then you’d spend on those taxes in a year.

Besides, if you’re so pissed about taxes then to even it out protest the stupid taxes. Your house? Taxed. Your inheritance that you gain but also leave behind to care for your family? Taxed. Your property that you bought 100% full price paid? Taxed every year. Your car? Taxed.

How bout getting pissed about those instead of getting pissy about people getting their health fixed? There are plenty of ridiculous taxes so I don’t know why people are so against having one that actually helps people.

Sorry for this rant, I know it’s not centered around my profile theme but I am majorly pissed off that I’m about to have to let a tooth rot out of my head because my insurance decided that: covering something cosmetic like braces? Yeah! Covering a completely necessary surgery that can actually harm/kill the person via infection if left untreated? Nope, that costs us more!

I can’t drop two fucking grand on dental surgery. It’s just not happening. I don’t know anyone who can do that shit. Anyone who gets pissed off about me posting this: go slam a hammer against your tooth until it cracks down the middle, exposing your nerve to the harsh unforgiving world then let it develop a cavity around it.

Afterwards, try to eat literally anything: hot, cold, hard, soft, it doesn’t matter. You’ll cry, I promise. Now imagine being told the only way to fix that is to cough up over two grand and if you can’t well then oh fucking well? Kinda hurts ya a bit. Not nearly as much as the tooth but still.

Hell, I know dental probably wouldnt even get covered if they made healthcare reduced or free but this whole situation has reminded me just how fucked you are if you get anything remotely wrong with you in the U.S

#freehealthcare #no i dont plan on having kid too many bad genes #america #americanhealthcare

[mediocrerenaissancememe]

A platonic love pros

Shoutout Natalie. She a real ride or die type bitch and idk where I'd be if we never became friends. I'm really glad she didn't let me hit it back in the day when I was trying to get with her I didn't see it then but she was really looking at the long term for both of us. She knew that we clicked in a way that shouldn't be risked, in a way that we should be friends for life and a way that wouldn't have worked if we dated.

Now we're like best friends and we can go to each other with anything I mean literally anything and she's the one person strong enough and compassionate enough to be a shoulder when I need it. No one else can make me feel better when I'm hurt like she can. Everyone else either doesn't understand my pain, can't handle how crazy the shit is, or just offers half-hearted non-advice platitudes.

And I know that she can talk to me in a similar way. That I'll be here to listen, to understand, to validate, and provide practical solutions only at the right times. I'm not sure if she has other people in her life to do the same, but she really deserves to have someone like that who isn't across the whole goddamn continent, and I can only hope other people treat her the way she deserves.

None of my followers know her but she a real ass bitch I just had to salute the homie real quick. Tryna practice gratitude more often and gotdamn am I grateful to have to have such a high quality person on my side and gotdamn am I grateful it's only platonic. If had become romantic, I'm not sure what I'd do about the distance, it would drive me crazy, but since we're just friends it doesn't even matter. All we gotta do is send each other memes every now and then, and we both know that whenever we need the other, we'll still be there. If that's not the platonic version of true love than I don't what the fuck is. We'll go six months without talking. No words. Just one or two memes. Then after half a year of silence, one of us will call the other one and we talk like we just hung out yesterday

Here's to Natalie

You a real one

[girlbosslrell]

Melodrama (2017) is an Ash Tyler/Michael Burnham/L’Rell Album and Here’s Why:

A.k.a: I have finally snapped!

Warning: LONG.

Green Light: N/A

Tbh, I never listen to this song and I don’t think it’s very good. Next!

Sober: Ash Tyler/Michael Burnham

Replace the concept of sobriety with Michael’s inevitable imprisonment and you have the perfect S1 Ashburn song!

The idea that they’re living young and reckless, that they’re on fire and loving it, but they’ll eventually burn up and burn out

The idea that they’re living on borrowed time. Just as one can’t be drunk forever, one cannot escape the law forever (except Michael literally does but shhhh)

Homemade Dynamite: Ash Tyler/Michael Burnham

To be quite honest, I don’t really like this song and I think I’ve listened to it like 2.5 times in my entire life. However! That doesn’t stop it from being an Ashburn song

The explanation is really in the lyrics tbh I don’t have much more to add

But the idea that it’s a young, intense love that can also be a destructive force

The Louvre: Ash Tyler/Michael Burnham

This is absolutely an Ashburn song

This is definitely a song about falling in love for the first time and letting it consume you with reckless abandon

Like. I personally have never been in love but this is what I assume it feels like

Liability: Ash Tyler 110%

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

^That’s how I feel about that song being an Ash Tyler song

Ash is Literally a liability to the Discovery and to Michael because of his Voq-ness

AND NONE OF IT IS HIS FAULT!!! HE DIDN’T ASK TO BE TRANSFORMED!!! (Well Voq did but Ash didn’t) yet the love of his life has to break up with him!!

BECAUSE HE’S A  L I A B I L I T Y

Because he has the ability to hurt people even though he doesn’t want to!!!!

Oh did you think I was done? No I have More

“The truth is, I am a toy that people enjoy till all of the tricks don’t work anymore” not to bring up a sensitive topic buuuuuttttt this feeling of being “used” might be how he feels about L’Rell

“I know that it’s exciting running through the night but every perfect summer’s eating me alive until you’re gone” BITCH I’M GONNA CRY WHAT THE FUCK

“You’re all gonna watch me disappear into the sun” Ash Tyler my baby I’m so sorry.... on God we’re gonna get you some therapy bro

Bonus points if you picture Ash singing this in the wedding dress Lorde wore on the video I linked

In conclusion: I am crying

Hard Feelings/Loveless: finally a L’Rell song

And my God is it ever a L’Rell song

Do you ever cry picturing L’Rell in a dark room, thinking about her relationship with Voq/Tyler and where it all went wrong? Because I do

She seems hard on the outside but I think she’s actually Soft underneath it all

And she must be going through soooooo much after losing the love of her life and knowing she can never get him back :(

“It was real for me, yup, real for me” oh my g o d . . .

Bitch I’m gonna cry

“Now I’ll fake it every single day till I don’t need fantasy, till I feel you leave”

😭

Oh but you thought this was a L’Rell song? Get ready for the “Loveless” segment:

Maybe it’s just me but I can totally picture L’Rell as the psycho bitch ex-girlfriend who fucks up her ex’s life

And all I can say about that is: that’s my baby and I’m proud

Sober II (Melodrama): L’Rell/Voq/Tyler (that whole Mess of a situation)

This is S2 L’Rell after she has to pretend Ash is dead  and she thinks she’s never gonna see him again but she still loves him and she’s reflecting on the HUGE FUCKING MESS she’s made

Writer in the Dark: Hell yeah more L’Rell/Voq/Tyler

Same as Sober II (Melodrama), L’Rell reflecting on losing Ash

“I am my mother’s child I’ll love you till my breathing stops, I’ll love you till you call the cops on me” is maybe the saddest, maybe the most metal lyric I’ve ever heard

Supercut a.k.a. the entire gotdamn reason I made this post in the first place: L’Rell OR Ash Tyler (mutually exclusive)

This is either L’Rell reflecting on her relationship wit Voq and playing all the moments over again and again in her head because she knows she’ll never get them back OR Ash Tyler reflecting on his relationship with Michael Burnham and wondering where it all went wrong and why she doesn’t want him anymore

CAUSE IN MY HEAD (IN MY HEAD I DO EVERYTHING RIGHT) WHEN YOU CALL (WHEN YOU CALL I’LL FORGIVE AND NOT FIGHT) BECAUSE OURS ARE THE MOMENTS I PLAY IN THE DARK, WE WERE WLD AND FLUORESCENT COME HOME TO MY HEART

In Ash Tyler’s head, he did everything right

In L’Rell’s head, she did everything right

In conclusion: “come home to my heart” is the most romantic lyric I’ve ever heard

Liability (Reprise): L’Rell

She realizes that she, too, is a liability to Ash just as Ash is a liability to Michael

Cinematic parallels

But she can’t help but remember how good she was to Voq, how much she had to offer him

And Tyler isn’t who he thought he was

Perfect Places: Ash AND Michael AND L’Rell, all getting the fuck over each other

Forgiving themselves for their mistakes but allowing themselves to keep being the messy people they are, finding other people to move on with (this isn’t canon but I want that for them), realizing that life will never be perfect but they can make it Good... yeah :’)

#i can't believe i made this what the fuck's wrong with me #anyways enjoy #no discourse pls #i really poured my heart out writing all this... it came from the depths of my soul so :') yeah #annie.txt #computer play melodrama (2017)

[helila]

DID THE LAST 10 YEARS FUCK ME UP??

yes and no

I mean, there was an obvious glow up, where I went from greasy emo crybaby to basic bitch culture appropriating thotticus prime.

I also grew out of my racist, homophobic bullshit, thank fuckin god. Finally had that “oh shit I’m bi” moment around 2012, that was an interesting turn of events. And I hate to say this, but tumblr did help me come to terms with these things... even though it’s an awful flaming garbage pile hellsite. Always has been, always will be.

I still think Evanescence is the shit.

Sometimes friendships degrade and you no longer have anything in common, and that’s fine. Today I’m only friends with one person from that old photo, but I also found a bunch of new ones over the years that I would definitely kill for. I love them with my entire nasty goblin heart.

I figured out how to apply makeup, and there’s no reason to be afraid of eyebrow pencils. I love having visible eyebrows.

For 6 years I was depressed outta my mind, anxious as fuck, isolated and fearful of other people. It fuckin sucked. In today’s terms I was a “we can’t all be neurotypical karen” type edgelord. Thank FUCK the universe caught up with me and went “oh honey no, fuck that noise” and dragged my ass outta there.

And then came 4 years of exhausting yet amazing recovery. I worked my gotdamn precious ass off. Not gonna lie, I do wish it had been an easier journey, because there were some truly heartbreaking revelations along the way. But I also found love that was greater than anything I could imagine before. That was cool. I also fixed my relationship with my mom, though that seemed impossible before. I have learned to appreciate and accept myself. Hella nice.

And fuckin FINALLY I LIKE DRAWING AGAIN. I gave up on the whole concept artist idea, because it’s not really my jam after all, but it’s fun to draw whatever the shit I want... and that’s better. I missed art being fun. I realized I have a knack for video editing, and kinda wanna do DJ-ing now. And since I got a camera from my bro, I have a couple of nice photographs to hold up and sing “look at this photograph.”

So anyways, here’s to the next 10 years. Sure fuckin hope I won’t be on tumblr by then.

#i like participating in things where i get to talk about meself

[grangerluna-remade]

2, 5, 9, 10, 12, 13, 15, 16, 22, 24, 25, 26, 28, 36, 42, 49, and 50 for august?????

2 - do they have any titles? how did they get them?privately, august calls himself a lot of things. but no one outside of his family really calls him anything, nah5 - do they have any siblings? what are their names? what is their relationship with them? has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?nope! august is an only child, and he’s thankful that he is. he doesn’t have any cousins, aunts, or uncles9 - do animals like them? do they get on well with animals?YES. animals warm up to him so well, and he loves dogs with all his heart (he doesn’t have one though). he loves cats too, but he’s so allergic that if he pets one he gets a hugs rash on his hand10 - do they like children? do children like them? do they have or want any children? what would they be like as a parent? or as a godparent/babysitter/etc?he’s shy around kids because he doesn’t know what to say to them? plus he’s deaf and kids don’t really know sign language, so there’s a communication barrier. children like him though! he doesn’t want children, but if we had to have some he’d be really protective and love them with his whole heart. 12 - what is their favorite food?pineapple on pizza. he will not tolerate anyone elses opinion13 - what is their least favorite food? fuckin chick peas man. also wasabi peas?? he hates spicy food15 - are they good at cooking? do they enjoy it? what do others think of their cooking?he likes to cook simple foods, like pizza or mac n cheese. if he does bake or cook, he does it with his mom and he likes to do it! his mom gives his cooking an A+16 - do they collect anything? what do they do with it? where do they keep it?i don’t know if this counts as “collecting” but he buys and reads a LOT of books. he has this HUGE bookshelf next to his bed, and he has over 40 books on it22 - what are their favorite insults to use? what do they insult people for? or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?he doesn’t like to talk about people beind their backs. he’s mainly active online (plus he is nonverbal), but when he gets into an argument online, he calls people combinations of swear words (ex. “you gotdamn bitchshit!”, “what the hell you assprick”, etc.)24 - what is their sleeping pattern like? do they snore? what do they like to sleep on? a soft or hard mattress?in summer, august still likes to go to bed a little early so his sleep scheduele isn’t messed up for the upcoming year. to his knowledge, he doesn’t snore. he likes to sleep with only a blanket and 2 pillows because he HATES being hot at night, and he has a memory foam mattress25 - what do they find funny? do they have a good sense of humor? are they funny themselves?OH MY GOD yes. he’s like the embodiement of funny puns and ridiculous shitposts. he finds really corny puns funny,,, we love a king26 - how do they act when they’re happy? do they sing? dance? hum? or do they hide their emotions?it rlly depends on the situation. when he meets matty (aka his love interest), he just smiles and blushes a whole lot. but when he recieved good news he jumps around a whole lot and pumps his fists into the air (u know what i mean). he represses his really sad emotions because he doesn’t want people to see that side of him :////28 - what is their biggest fear? what in general scares them? how do they act when they’re scared?he haaaaaaaaates crowded spaces. he’s really claustrophobic. he’s also scared of life after death and heights. when he’s scared he gets paralyzed and starts to cry/shake36 - what are they good at? what hobbies do they like? can they sing?he’s really good with computers and programming, but that isn’t his main hobby. his main hobbies are reading and signing to himself. he doesn’t sing at all because he’s nonverbal and doesn’t like to talk in the slightest42 - what are their goals? what would they sacrifice anything for? what is their secret ambition?he really wants to get top surgery and go on t. he would give anything for matty, his family and his best friend. his secret ambition is to get married but shhhhh49 - what is their most valued object? are they sentimental? is there something they have to take everywhere with them?YESSS hes so sentimental. his most valued object is the ticket stub from when he first saw pulp fiction with matty. he keeps it in the back of his phone case and doesnt leave anywhere without it50 - if they could take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? what do they consider their essentials?he would pack his favorite candy (caramel hershey’s kisses), his phone + charger, the paper that matty first wrote to him on, his 3 favorite books (the outsider by stephen king, if i stay by gayle forman, and harry potter and the order of the phoenix by j.k. rowling), 2 bottles of water and a picture of his family.

#oc: august #billie’s ocs #anon #lilacs in the mail

[chiripepe]

I'm sick of rich people using the struggle of poor people to forward their fucking agendas.

I’ve been done for a few years with how intersectionality is being used in the most hypocritical way by those with the most power to coopt the subjectivity of people who don’t have access to podiums to represent themselves and their experiences. I’m really done with that. This is especially the case when it comes to class, cuz class cuts through all of this. The rich activists, the rich college kids, with their expensive phones and private grade schools and parents who pay shit for them using the bodies of poor LGBT people, poor non-white people, poor undocumented people, poor people in general to forward their bullshit.

I fucking despised the gotdamn white fags that talked about Pulse as if they would be caught dead in a club like that. I spend my entire 20s going to the Tampa version of Pulse, a club that actually predated Pulse, watching dudes like this coming in just to give stank looks to the place, to bitch about the music, to complain about people speaking spanish or speaking english with Jamaican and Spanish accents, talking about these places as if it was their gotdamn culture. OF COURSE none of them spoke up when the Pulse shooting was being used by the fucking political establishment to misrepresent one of the most explicit acts of homophobia violence and murder as islamic terror. Who the fuck has to go to the Middle East or become a fucking muslim to learn to be a fucking homophobe? You can learn that here, in this country, in American kitchens, in American locker rooms, in American CHRISTIAN churches, from CHRISTIAN pastors, from CHRISTIAN politicians, from RICH CHRISTIAN EDUCATED leaders who have spent the history of this country parading their explicit homophobia in front of everyone as standard morality. OF COURSE they didn’t have anything to fucking say about that. They didn’t have anything to say about the specific group of LGBT people that were targeted by that homophobe and the specific set of circumstances that affect our lives.

Every single time I see one of these obviously middle class, upper middle class and rich white kids whose exquisite expensive college educations on social issues gave them IN DEPTH knowledge of how people who don’t have access to that same education get exploited pretend they give a flying fuck about us, when they speak FOR us. These folks who use our pain, our struggle, to shield themselves from criticism for being the very class of people who exploit us, whose power is run on our labor and our exploitation. Who, after they get past their little phase of liberal rebellion in their college years or whatever go right on to take the roles their parents had in keeping the status quo in place.

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Don’t fucking lecture me about oppression, you don’t know what oppression is. You have nothing to complain about. People’s oppression is not an extracurricular activity that you have to be good at as if suffering and lack of access to full humanity in the society that gives you fucking everything is some kind of privilege you’re kept from. 

These fucking people are the best suited to make the case for change to other people because they have the power to do so. They run the fucking country. They bitch and moan about the power structure that insulates them from any kind of harm. All these people are still whining about Hillary loosing almost a year ago and they haven’t been affected in ANY significant way by any of Trump’s policies. In fact, Trump’s policies seek to make them even more money. But these are the folks in the #resistance or whatever the fuck, these are the folks standing up to talk for the rest of us who don’t have anything to say because they’re not poor, they’re not lacking anything, they bitch about mental health but they have expensive therapists and medications but they’re taking up the whole fucking conversation about ALL these issues.

I’m just sick of these people to be honest. We really need to start putting class front and center and anyone that seeks to obfuscate how power works, and all power revolves around money or heavily intersects with money, then these people need to really just shut the fuck up cuz they don’t have anything to say and it shows in their bank accounts. These are the folks that have allowed neoliberalism to run rampant. They bitch and moan about climate change but it doesn’t matter in the end cuz their bank accounts aren’t being affected, they talk as if they give a fuck about the undocumented, they’re not being deported.

I see two sides to the ‘left’ in the US. The liberal left is constantly making the skinny argument with no substance and that’s because at their core these people are neoliberal dogs in their heart of hearts and have no genuine interest in social change, at all, whatsoever. Meanwhile the radical people, the people who talk truth to power, the people who say the uncomfortable truths all of us know don’t really get the fucking spotlight. I WONDER why that is.

#thoughtz and feelingz #early morning truth tea

[mercyedes]

tagged by @emptymasks  ; i would tag u if you hadn’t already done it LOL

rules:  answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagging: uhh i tried to avoid people who had been tagged already which is usually the whole hbo war chat lmao, @damnyoualex @allstarrnicky @hoosiersblanket @skipsmalark @spartan-in-a-b-25 @hellyeahcanofpeaches @huhjean @hobbitonamission @221bcastielst

THE LAST

1. drink: water 2. phone call: my mom 3. text message: a skype to emma 4. song you listened to:  Nicotine - Panic! At The Disco 5. time you cried: I cry at least one every two days tbh  6. dated someone twice: no i am too committed to my one friend  7. kissed someone and regretted it: no again 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yeah !! a pet ! and a fictional character  10. been depressed: currently am my dude bro 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i would have ,, to drink first

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. blue 13. purple 14. shades of pink or red? 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: lmao hah 16. fallen out of love: no emma ily  17. laughed until you cried: we made her eat a combination of all the expired foods in my fridge. she was still awake and turned over with her ipod light. punched in the back of the head, that one girl last year who slammed into my forehead, “why is that ross from friends”, this is just a list of a lot of inside jokes  18. found out someone was talking about you: I have good hearing and a good friend it comes back to me eventually, so yeah  19. met someone who changed you: emma watching IT changed me  20. found out who your friends are: i kno who she is  21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no lmao nasty 

GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them  23. do you have any pets: yea a lot of them but it changes a lot  24. do you want to change your name: yes but also it wouldnt happen im too lazy  25. what did you do for your last birthday: actually nothing if i remember 26. what time did you wake up: 6:00 in the gotdamn morning  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: to get out of work tonight  29. when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning 31. what are you listening to right now: Nothing atm  32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope 33. something that is getting on your nerves: work, having to do work, having to do anything tbh 34. most visited website: def tumblr, youtube, skype if it counts 35. hair colour: dark brown 36. long or short hair: too long i should cut it more than a few inches lmao  37. do you have a crush on someone: someone real and not a celebrity? no  38. what do you like about yourself: i one day will kill myself we just dont know when  39. want any piercings: not really lol  40. blood type: no idea !  41. nickname: i mean not really enough to put down lmao  42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: virgo  44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: band of brothers, i only like the pacific for any scene snafu is in, i used to like game of thrones but then ramsay died and now it sucks ass, (cry) bates motel, sort of american horror story but eh. 46. tattoos: i dont have any ? i should get one of emma’s name tbh  47. right or left handed: right handed 48. surgery: not really i got stitches once  49. piercing: my ears but i dont wear earrings lol  50. sport: fucki christ no im a lard ass, sometimes i ride horses but its literally two or three times a month if that  51. vacation: no i aint no rich bitch  52. pair of trainers: huh 

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: nothing right now i just had some cereal  54. drinking: water 55. i’m about to: get ready to work, should probably write a lab really quick 56. waiting for: nothin, honestly to go see IT again tho lmao its a good ass movie and emma needs to win me a fuckin stuffed animal again  57. want: to fuck the goddamn clow n the fuck  58. get married: they rich ?  59. career: to do nothing and get money 

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: neither !! 

61. lips or eyes: no theyre gross  62. shorter or taller: emma is one inch taller ; )  63. older or younger: soldier : 76 or gtfo  64. nice arms or nice stomach: hanzo has a nice stomach and arms  65. hook up or relationship: do i look lik e the kinda bitch to care  66. troublemaker or hesitant: fuck outta here w/ either of those 

HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger:  no 68. drank hard liquor: no 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: not yet lmao  70. turned someone down: no who tf  71. sex on the first date: bruhhhhh stop  72. broken someone’s heart: probably any character i end up liking is ruined  73. had your heart broken: mrs mallard  74. been arrested: no but thats shocking  75. cried when someone died: yes !!! norman !!! ramsay !! the fuck  76. fallen for a friend: i mean 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: no 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: who cares 82. angels: i am one 

OTHER 83. current best friend’s name: emma, that is current past and future  84. eye colour: brown but like really dark brown i hate it  85. favorite movie: brother bear of course, literally any movie about a horse, any lame amazon horror movie (aka bad ben which wasnt lame and terrified me), uh IT is now a damn good film, most marvel movies, the mad max franchise, honestly transformers, a lot more 

#tag game

[softgrungeprophet]

Me and @chokemebucky played a game over roll20 (text chat) today and here is what happened:

Characters:

Arlen Ghelfi: He/Him. 19. Slender, ruddy freckles, with auburn hair and brown eyes. He wears a white suit and headphones, and has a battered cybernetic right arm. Signature Weapon: Cyber arm has an assassin's creed-style dagger in it.

Evelynn Dowe: She/Her. 25. Evelynn has dark skin and a cyan mohawk and brown eyes, and a distinctive scar on her arm. She has a cybernetic arm which can become electrically charged. Signature Weapon: Switchblade.

Scene 1:

Arlen walks into the eight-story mall, and looks around at all the glass storefronts, with jewelry and designer clothes. There are a lot of people around, but his headphones block out most of the noise. He heads up one of the elevators.... Evelynn is with him.

When it dings on the 8th floor, they head out, and it's this fancy full-floor cyberware shop. Arlen absolutely cannot afford anything in this place. The cashier is a chrome robot.

And the robot is like, "Can I help you?"

"No I'm just looking." And something catches Arlen's eye in one of the cases. Cut crystal and brushed steel, a very fancy cyber-watch. He wants it. But he's not a thief. So he kind of stares at it.

Or at least, he wasn't a thief before—he shakes his head and memorizes the way it looks in the case before turning away and waving at the robot. He gets back in the elevator.

Scene 2:

There is a restaurant, connected to the mall at the bottom floor—by a moving walkway because rich people don't WALK any more than they have to.

Evelynn walks into the restaurant tower, and this place is. Massive. Like, MASSIVE, and this is only the first floor, and there's a water fountain in the middle because rich people like fountains—honestly she wouldn't be surprised if there was a friggin indoor pool somewhere in here (but there isn't because that's not like ~fancy~ and they don't want their floors wet)

There are various sets of elevators, and by each elevator, a list of floor numbers and the types of food on each floor. They're all owned by the same company, but each is different. One seafood, one Italian, one authentic Mexican, etc. etc.

She goes up to the counter and asks for a menu, and says that she can't stay and sit to eat, she wants to get food to go. They look kinda offended because who doesn't wanna stay HERE but they hand her a menu anyway. And just appetizers alone are like 30 bucks and she almost has a gotdamn heart attack.

"You know.... never mind." Evelynn gives the menu back and leaves.

Scene 3:

While Evelynn was at the restaurant, Arlen got in a fight with a rich boy in a clothing shop.

He swings at the rich boy, just with his fist. He catches the boy on the jaw. Doesn't hurt him much—and the rich boy knees him in the crotch.

While Arlen doubles over he decides, you know, maybe this isn't worth it. And he is gonna leave. But the rich boy grabs his arm, like, "No, bitch."

Arlen tries to elbow the rich boy in the face but misses. Rich Boy moves to put Arlen in a headlock but Arlen ducks out of the way. He unsheathes the blade hidden in his cybernetic arm as he ducks, and stabs the rich boy right in the shoulder.

The rich boy is like "what the FUCK this guy just stabbed me!" and grabs his shoulder, bleeding.

Arlen just puts his hands up, like, "It was an accident!" (it was not)

He gets tackled to the ground by security guards.

Scene 4:

Evelynn overhears a guard's walkie talkie.

"He WHAT? A blade came outta WHERE?!"

Eve makes this face because she just Knows. So she takes a lil look at the mall complex map and sees "security station" and figures that's where he has to be and, of course, heads that way.

It's pretty fancy for Mall Jail, just like everything there is, like there's a small desk and a guy sitting behind it with his feet up, and to one side there's a corridor of cells that have electronic locks on them, and little windows about head height to the average person.

So she goes up to desk. And there's only this one guy here, I mean, it's MALL jail, not too many guys are brought in for STABBING so the security is lax. Evelynn tries to charm her way into getting let back to "talk to her friend."

She charms the pants off of him. So he agrees to let her go back there, but obviously she needs to be accompanied because, y'know, it's mall jail, people can't just walk around all willy nilly. She tries to turn the charm on again.

"Sir, I would never do anything fishy, I just want to talk to my friend and tell him what an idiot he is."

The guard insists, he HAS to go with her. So she's like okay, okay fine. Coulda been so easy but now she's gotta fight.

They go back there together. She describes Arlen, and he knows exactly the little shit she's talking about. "Stabbed a guy"

Evelynn says, "Sounds about right."

So he shows her to the cell and opens the little sliding window so Arlen can hear and see her .

"So you stabbed a guy, huh?"

"Listen, I got swept up in the moment"

Evelynn is just like Oh My God, she is mcfreakin done with him (but not enough to just leave without him) so she's like, "Well are they calling like, real police? No offense, mall cop."

Arlen shrugs.

Evelynn sighs. "Okay."

She whirls around and slams her fist into the security guard's face—the guy's nose is bleeding and he grabs for it, while his other hand goes for his taser. She tries to grab that hand aaand fails. The guard gets his taser out, and she tries to get out of the way bc those things can kinda spring at ya but she does not succeed. She gets shocked—but she's still trucking, whatever, it's cool, and she tries to hit away the hand holding the taser and bring her leg up to kick him in the crotch at the same time and she? kinda gets him? a little, but falls down because what is balance.

The guy tries to kick her while she's on the floor, and she tries to roll out of the way—but he kinda gets a bit of her. She's kinda hurting but she manages to get back on her feet and she's crouching now, and she's kinda tired of this bitch, so she flicks out her switchblade and lunges for his leg, trying to stab him in the knee—

This guy totally sidesteps her knife, and tries to kick her again, she dodges the kick and jumps to her feet.

She doesn't wait, tries to stab at him again, this time aiming for the belly because it's kinda personal now—he TASERED HER after all—and she nicks him.

He tries to retaliate with his taser and she tries to quickly jump away but she slams into the door to Arlen's holding cell. So she dodges but her back slams up against a door to one of the cells. She kicks out, trying to get the guy in the crotch, but she misses.

He catches her foot and pulls, and she goes down, falling right on her back. She kicks out with her other leg at his knees and BOOM hits right in the fuckin kneecap—his knee gives out and he falls, hitting his head and passing out on the way down. Maybe from pain, maybe from concussion, Eve doesn't know and Does Not Care.

Arlen has just been watching the whole time. (Only has the one close range weapon.)

She turns to Arlen, the little shit, and is like "Thanks for the help, dude" All sarcastic, of course.

He does that like, wink, finger gun motion where you click your tongue.

"Okay, so let's figure out how to get you out of here." There aren't any locks to pick, it's a hand-print pressure pad...

Evelynn is like aw yis and grabs the unconscious security guard by his arm and drags him over and struggles to get this guy up far enough that his hand can touch the pad, Thank God for her metal arm.

The thing beeps a positive and the door unlocks, and Evelynn opens it and just gives Arlen this LOOK. This L O O K like "you little shit, do you see all the trouble I went through for you" kind of a look.

He grins.

Eve says "Let's just get the hell out of here, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah"

#nadia plays tabletop #chokemebucky #the rules are hoenstly still not great but it was fun. #you can tell i used a random generator cause i played a boy

[mrskandiibaby2269]

Like A Virgin

... So Mike and I are chilling at his house working on the project for school. And I'm teaching him all I know about creative writing. I must admit I'm so nervous it makes no sense. I'm trying to hide it. But he finds a way to help me relax. "Adina you gotta chill" I just wanna know why you being so nice to me. Nobody that you hang with likes me. So I know they put bugs in yo ear. "Listen. This assignment is for me to know you and you to know me. So know I don't let people put bugs in my ear. I find out for myself." I'm sorry. "It's cool. Look since I moved here for a week. I gotta confess something to you. " What's up ? " When I first saw you my mind was blown and my breath was taken away. I over heard what class you was in and I got mine changed so I can meet you. I really like you." Why me? " Because you're not like the other girls. Them " Rah-Rah, ratchet drama, filled, ghetto" Bitches. You're a beautiful women. You're down to earth, and chilled, basic. I love basic girls. Cause they stay to them selves and do what they need to do. " Can I be honest with you too? "Sure." I like you too He leans over to kiss me.... And it felt so damn good. Him rubbing my thighs Picking me up and getting on top Taking my shirt off slowly but I stop his hands. I felt the need to tell him the truth about me. I'm a Virgin. I can't do this maybe I should go. "Or maybe you should let me teach you somethings now." That look he gave me was like he was talking straight to my heart and my soul. He knew what I wanted and he knew I didn't want to wait for marriage no more. So. I got on top of him and took off his jersey and kissed him passionately Our tongues was so in sync. He rubbed on my pussy making my clit throb with anticipation. "Damn baby your Pussy so wet feeling like condensation. " He lifted me up and pulled down my leggings. Rubbing and smacking and biting my ass. Made me lean my head back and moan Mmmmm fuck! " I think I know what you like. I think you like it rough on the low." He says winking me. So while he lays me on my back taking my black lace panties off with his teeth while looking up at me. He tells me " This is how real men eat pussy. " Zig zagging his tongue from the left lip to the right lip Going in circles Tongue going crazy like a windmill Kissing my sweet juicy lips He spreads my legs open more To devour more of my pussy "Damn you taste so good you gotta pretty pussy too. Mmmm MMM. Oh you gonna be mine. " Mmmm shit YESS damn this feel so good I couldn't help but move back to the end of the couch Then he took total control that made me even wetter like water "Stay ya lil' sexy ass still. I'm not letting you get away this time." At that moment he strips my shirt off and unhooked my bra. And lifted me up and put me over his shoulders and place my back against the wall. And continued to eat my pretty pussy from where he left off He places his hands on my hips and made me roll in a sexy motion and told me to keep it going as he tightly gripped on to my hips and thighs As I did what he commanded. That felt more like heaven father please forgive. I mean but damn. The deeper he went into my pussy with his tongue, shaking his head All I could do is palm the back of his head and push him more into my pussy, bite my lip, and gasp for air like I needed mouth to mouth resuscitation. "Yeah, that's right baby take this tongue. Now take this dick " He move me from his shoulders to his dick. Thinking I was gonna fall but he catch me so smooth and wrapped my legs around his body While dropping his shorts He whispers in my ear gently "You ready ?" Yes "I'm go slow for you. Tell me when to stop." Feeling the tip of his large manhood, stretching my pussy It did hurt but only for a few seconds and the more he kept stroking his dick in and out of me And hearing the wetness of my pussy Mmmm I just had to scratch his back up a little bit. Then I stopped because I didn't know if that was cool or not until he told me. " You can scratch my back up if you want to baby. I love that shit." Mmmmm ahhh Mmm ahh mmm ahhh fuck Mike YESS YESS "Damn Yo pussy so good. Mmmm Fuck Adina. Shit Gotdamn girl. Hell yea. Gimme that pussy." Take it baby. It's all yours.. "And this dick is all yours baby. Muah muah muah." With each and every deep stroke he gave . My nails went deeper in his back. He then flip me over and put me on my knees on the floor and never missed a stroke. He kept the nice and slow ,sexy rhythm. Mmmm shit don't stop. Please don't stop !!! " I'm not gonna stop baby. I got you ma." As he says that in my ear. He teaches me how to throw my ass back on his dick and tells me to fuck his dick on my own while he stays still. "Squeeze that tight pussy on my dick... Shh-shit fuck yea just like that baby mmmm MMMM FUCK." As I throw it back on him. He grips and smacks my ass and he continues to fuck me while rubbing my back nice and smooth. Sent chills up and down my spine. I got bold and told him to lay on his back. I've been practicing how to give head with a toy I have at home. Hopefully I do good for the first time. I jack his dick up and down Kiss and lick all over it Start at the tip Running my tongue in circles around the head Work my head down mid shaft Cave my jaws in Slowly bob my head up and down Wetting his dick up with my tongue "Mmmm.... Aaaaah SHIT DAMN baby!! " Taking him in my mouth whole Spitting and slobbering on his thick big dick Drooling and catching it Making It Nasty He puts his hand on my head and grips my hair tugging and holding on for dear life That shit only made me wetter "Deep throat this dick. Go deeper baby. Come on bae you can do it." So I do. The deeper I go The more I choke and I love every minute of it. *COUGHING AND CHOKING* "Aaaaah FUCK ADINA. MMMMm SHIT BABY YOU ABOUT TO MAKE ME NUT!!!" Not until I ride you and you bust in my mouth. "MMmmm yes ma'am" So I get on top of him and start rolling my hips in circles Moving my pussy back and forth Making my ass clap on his dick I place his hands on my ass and make him smack my ass continuously as I start bouncing up and down Mmmm I feel my pussy creaming and squirting making his dick a complete and total sexy mess. "There ya baby. Ride that dick while smack that ass and suck on these pretty titties." Ahhh mmmm yassss daddy yassss "Ohh. I love it when you call me daddy. Shh-shit baby SHIT FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!! " What's wrong Daddy ?! "IM ABOUT TO FUCKING NUT. GET ON YO KNEES AND CATCH IT WITH YOUR MOUTH. COME ON BABY!!!!!." Holding my mouth wide open and sticking my tongue out to catch every drop and ounce of his creamy nut. "AHHHHH SHIT ADINA. FUCK!!! MMMMMmmmm FUCK!!! GOTDAMN!!!!" As he explodes on my tongue I swallow it all and show him that it's all gone. "Damn baby you might have been a Virgin but you a freaky ass Virgin." We both start laughing as make our way to the shower to get cleaned up. He wash me and I wash him But he looks me deep in my eyes And said "I was dead ass serious when I said you gonna be mine. Just to let you know. This wasn't no "hit and quit game" this is an continuous, on going , something serious , level type shit bae." Really? "Really, really. Adina I'm not gonna play you out like that. I'm not like those other niccas that do shit for bragging rights. That shit lame as hell." Then he kisses me. "Adina. I want you to be mine. Be my girl, please?" I kiss him back and happily say yes. He then takes me home. I say hey to my mom and dad and head upstairs to my room and fall on my bed. Smiling and cheesing like hell. All of this feels like a dream. Then I get a text on my phone. "Sup, baby girl I would like to take you out all weekend and pick you up for school when next week start back up is that cool?" Damn this is real and he text with good grammar?! Oh yeah it's a done deal. So I text back "Yea. That's cool bae. See you tomorrow around noon for lunch?" He quickly replies back. "Sounds like a plan baby. We can go to the mall. 💋❤️" "💋💋💋😍💋😏" So tomorrow comes and everything is great he bought me new clothes and shoes and a new necklace. Even got my hair and nails done. I told him I'm not the gold digging type and he didn't have to spend his money on me. But he insisted to do all these things and said he don't care. As long as I'm his girl and stay loyal to him. I'll get this treatment when ever I want it. He met my family and they like him and that's another plus. School starts back and we pull up in the school parking lot in his Blue Ford focus Girls try to gussy their selves up and try to attempt to look good and speak to him. And they begin to make their way over to him until he gets out and comes to the passenger side and opens my door. I step one foot out and niccas mouth drop and bitches start pouting and roll their eyes. He reaches for my hand to help me get out the car and carries my book bag and his. He pulls me to him and makes out with me in front of everbody. While we ignore the whispering and talking and the shocked looks. We began to walk in the school and guys I don't talk to, who bad mouth me. Tried to holla at me. But Mike shut them down. "Damn Adina you looking good why don't you and me do--" "Not a damn thing. Back, back homie. This my Queen. This all me." I just laugh and roll my eyes at the pathetic guy who lost his chance to have me. And kiss Mike for defending my honor. Then a ratchet chick tries to do the same thing with Mike. "Heyy Mike. You wanna go out sometime?" Sorry boo he already has a date and kiss him right in front of her as she gets mad and storm off. Mike has helped me get so much confidence. I've gained a lot of self esteem. Now my girls see me smiling more. And they say they are very happy for me and I deserve it all. Amber tells me " Damn 'Dina yo ass got fatter and hips hot wider" And Shaniece agrees and ask " Yea girl what the hell you did do over the weekend?!" All I could I say with a sexy, mischievous smirk 😏was "Ladies. Mike and I will gladly answer any questions you have at lunch today😉" While Mike agreed and kissed me as we all made our way to the cafeteria Their looks 😳😳and gasp😱😱😆😆😆 was priceless I got a feeling today nah scratch that....The rest of the year is gonna be a good year😏. MrsKandiiBaby💋🍭👅💦😏😘😜

#EroticStories #EroticPoems #EroticPoet #TheKandiiBlog🍭📗