Wheel of Time Characters and the Cars They'd Drive
Written by someone who knows extremely little about cars
Rand: The poor boy buys like a standard issue sedan and then a bunch of weirdos start following him around and telling him that the car is "special." Moiraine spray paints dragon decals on his car one night while he's sleeping. People keep trying to slash his tires but he always catches them just in time. You know how it goes
Perrin: Pickup truck with normal sized wheels. Great for helping people move! Also great for running people over. Duality of man etc etc. There's always a dog in the back sticking its head out the window, but Perrin does not know this dog or where it came from
Nynaeve: She buys a used car that looks like it's falling apart and everyone tells her that she overpaid. Four months in, they realize that the last owner did a bunch of Fast and Furious style modifications and Nynaeve could probably outrace God
Mat: Bike. This SHOULD NOT WORK but somehow he's still on time to everything. This baffles everyone, including him
Egwene: Something VERY practical with great gas mileage, like a honda civic. That's the only practical car I know because it's what my dad told me to buy.
Elayne: Lexus. Mat makes fun of her for driving a luxury car and she's like "????? it's not like it's a Cadillac?"
Liandrin: A Cadillac
Moiraine: A jeep, but the nicest most upgraded version. Unless there's a car that's better for off-roading, in which case she drives that instead
Lan: A cool classic car. A car that can drift (maybe all cars can drift but Lan's definitely can). He thinks that Nynaeve's car is The Coolest for some reason
Lanfear: A horse! Just kidding. She drives a silver range rover because an article I googled said that range rovers are the king of the road.
Bonus:
Asmodean: the car type Does Not Matter all that matters is that he has a vanity license plate
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[Update, or lack thereof:]
[Got absolutely walloped by a rough heat wave and plumes on plumes of tree pollen this week, and ultimately the high pressure system put high pressure on me, and because of this I absolutely will not have 19 out in time for this Saturday. It took the wind out of my sails something terrible, and I’m still getting back on my feet from it. Giving myself a grace period to build up the buffer again for next week, because I would much rather take the extra time to figure out what I’m doing with this page and bring it up to the quality benchmark than try to a$$-pull something substandard in a few short days and risk hurting myself.]
[Thank you for your continued patience with me as I find my groove again in a healthier way, and I’ll keep aiming for quality and stability. If you’re looking to keep tabs on progress or just generally lurk or vibe with other Sonic nerds, we do still have an optional discord for the truly bored! Have a gentle and fruitful rest of your week, and I’ll keep pluggin’ away at things!]
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Well. It's official. I am out of a job.
[Image description: Inkwell the 1998 black and white Skunk Furby is sitting in a wire basket for flyers. Above him is a blue sign that reads, in all caps: "Store closing Sunday. New Hours 9-6. Everything priced as marked. Thank you." End ID.]
It's unfortunate that it ended like this, I enjoyed the past two years there. But nothing can be done except to move on!
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You ever notice how Tow Mater just sounds like he's saying tomato with an accent?
"Tomater! Hi I'm Tomater!"
Like yeah okay then, where's your sauce? 😒
No wonder you can't get any bitches.
Like honestly honey. Ain't nobody want a piece of this. So sorry that the closest you'll get is fanfiction dot net and AO3. We won't talk about what happens on furaffinity. I wouldn't know. I don't go there.
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You still planning on updating Mnemosyne this weekend ?👀 Don’t feel rushed to if you’re not ready though, I’m just super excited 😆
ALAS, the will was there but it's almost 11pm and I'm so tired and I've still got a little bit of this beast left to edit, so I am setting my sights on updating it sometime this week!
(On the upside: this update got so big that there are now TWO chapters!)
And ahhhh I'm so glad you're excited!! I am, too, and lowkey terrified but then I haven't updated this fic since 2021, and so I really hope the people still reading it will like it<3
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no-no, I don't think you get it:
Driving out into the sun. Let the ultraviolet *cover me up*
went looking for a creation myth. Ended up with a pair of *cracked lips*
windows down, scream along. To some America First rap, country song
A slaughterhouse (an outlet mall)
Slot machines
Fear of God
*Windows down, heater on*
Big bolts of lightning hanging low. Over the coast, everyone's convinced. It's a government drone or an alien spaceship
Either way. we're. not. alone.
I'll find a new place to be from. A haunted house with a picket fence. To float around and ghost my friends
No, I'm Not Afraid To Disappear.
The billboard said
"The end is near"
I turned around, there was Nothing There
.
.
.
.
Yeah, I guess the end is here
.
.
.
.
The end is here
The end is here
THE END IS HERE
THE END IS HERE
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