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#TRY TOO HARD TO REMEMBER STH AND YOUR MEMORY MIGHT LIE TO YOU
keykidpilipili · 2 years
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There is subtle and Namine warning Sora through the disney characters is not one of them.
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ralfstrashcan · 5 years
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3x11 Reaction / Commentary
So I haven't even started the episode and I'm already confused.
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Why did Netflix put 3B in a separate folder? I mean, they didn't with 2B. What's the matter with that. Or is this just the German Netflix??
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Smoooooothe move. Somewhere Derek Hale is smiling proudly.
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Wtf why they so slow. I was half expecting this to be a simulation or sth because they took ages to arrive and then were walking super chill???
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Seelie guy doesn't use this obvious distraction of the others to try and escape, since he knows he's just a minor character and shouldn't interfere.
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Beautiful grieving sequence, especially Jace with the sketch of himself. I knew there would be a portrait of him in there before he even turned the page, I could feel it. I love how sensitive and therefore predictable the show is.
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Ooooh nooooo Clary is still aliiiiiive, who whould have thought?!?!?! Okay sorry haha I had to.
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lol didn't he look in a mirror recently and realize there's still no real resemblance? I mean, at least now he's not charred anymore, so I guess there's more resemblance than before, but you know what I mean. And I get it, this is supposed to be a parallelism to Lilith saying the same thing, but if memory serves right, at this point in time Jonathan was a) in a thick glass casket and b) dead so I'm wondering how he could have heard that.
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wtf I'm getting sooo mixed signals from him. Does he want to give off creeper vibes or play house? Because he's kinda doing both?? Play Creeper House???
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YEAH LITERALLY I WANT TO SEE THEIR HEATING BILLS
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This...... doesn't sound as reassuring as it sounded in your head, Jonathan.
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So, points for Clary for that ploy, but my heart is already pre-emptively breaking for Jonathan when he finds out she's playing him. The poor guy just wants family after being used and abused his whole life, man. Is that too much to ask.
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More points for Clary for being sensible and grabbing a coat!!
“Clary, come on. You can't go out there. You're never gonna survive.”
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Hahaha that had me laughing out loud. So Clary.
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Okay, minus points for Clary for not actually wearing the coat. You had a winning streak of common sense but all good things must end, I guess.
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Picturesque. But, uh, since Jonathan isn't following her she could slow down. And if she was a Slytherin, she would have waited til after breakfast with her daring escape.
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LISTEN I LOVE THIS CASUAL DOMESTICITY
Also if you're more make-up versed than I am (which, admittedly, isn't very hard) and realized something was off about the way Magnus held that eyeliner stick (?) then check lynne-monstr's eyeliner salt club tag because it's hilarious. I also want to rec volunteer_of_hufflepuff's fic smile even though your heart is breaking because it's awesome.
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...........................really. Really. That's how they want to play it? Ugh, okay. Ugh.
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You know, I've had a whole lengthy extensive (dare I say exhaustive) rant ripening in my head since I saw this bit in the sneak peek but I'm just not in the mood, so let me cut it short: I get Simon's reaction emotionally, since losing Clary must be a horrible experience for him, but I'm still bitter about early 3A where blasting that werewolf across Taki's yard and knowing he might never walk again didn't bother Simon for one second. Repercussions should always matter, regardless of how close you are to the person affected.
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Oh dear, she's still running. And her hair still looks like that?
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Sure. Also
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How can he keep up with her when he's walking and she's running? I mean he's not that much taller than her. Or does she run ten feet, pause to gasp and pant a little, runs again, stop and go, y'know? So on average she's just powerwalking.
Ok srsly I need to stop this nonsensical commentary.
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Yeah and I guess he didn't notice the Clave-approved vampire-torture-sunlight construction Aldertree installed in this very same office (shown in 2x04 if you care to remember).
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........who are you and what did you do to Alec Lightwood? You seriously want to tell me he'd consider not bringing up a violation of the Accords, and more importantly power abuse and torture, because of political reasons and he's “scared” to lose his standing with Jia? Please. He'd be enforcing Clave law. He'd be well within his right. We're talking about the guy who flat out refused to do the Inquisitor's bidding because it went against his moral code. Compared to that, this is a walk in the park. So. Please.
“I understand the kind of pain you're in, Jace.”
“No you don't. I'm sorry, you don't.”
“You're right...
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Oh my god this isn't about Clary, or at least not for the most part. Jace is frikking traumatized because he wasn't in control of his body or his actions or his frakking mind for days. Btw I'm actually impressed and surprised they bothered to focus on anything but the Clary-Drama, namely Jace second-hand-killing like 33 people. And Imogen. And almost Alec. The way I see Jace he'll focus on his guilt, not the pain he feels over Clary's loss. Clary will be on his mind and that's one more thing to feel shitty about, because how can he be so selfish and think about his own pain when he brought so much more pain on other people? Jace has an incredibly intricately self-destructive mind and I love how it was portrayed here. Also loved the scene in general with some Izzy&Jace sibling feels, the tender way she talks to him, his kiss to her hand. But the focus (mainly because of Izzy) returning to Clary annoyed me a little.
And by the way, there is one person who can understand Jace. Alec. Because he was possessed by a demon and forced to kill someone, too. Granted, he doesn't have the memories of the action itself, but he saw it on tape. He blames himself because the demon fed off his own hate against Jocelyn. So I would really really love to see those two talking about it. I'm extremely thrilled to watch on and see if they do (but lol kinda hoping they don't because then I can finish writing my ficlet about it, which I sadly didn't manage to before 3B aired).
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MY LIFE EXPECTANCY JUST INCREASED BY AT LEAST FIVE YEARS OKAY
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Also what a damn badass nightlight, I want one as well even though I hate not to sleep in absolute darkness, that's how pretty this is.
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HAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA I  C A N ' T
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ALEC'S OFFENDED FACE AS IF THIS IS NEWS TO HIM
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Wow I'm so glad they didn't forget about Iris. I was scared, not gonna lie.
Tbh I don't find Madzie's reaction that realistic. I mean, Valentine – the first person to talk to her after she got ripped from her normal life in her normal home – told her Clary got Iris into trouble. At some point they must have told her that Iris isn't coming back. But did they really tell her Iris was breeding warlocks? I highly doubt that. At most they told her Iris did some bad things. But, since they probably said the same thing about Valentine (and he was always “nice” to her) and told her Clary wasn't in fact evil, that kind of loses its meaning. And let's not forget, she is a child. A probably traumatized child, I might add, since Valentine used her to literally kill at least ten Shadowhunters that we see on screen, likely more. Her perception of what is right and what is wrong is easily swayed. And personally I think she neither really registered that Iris is supposed to be the bad guy now nor that living with Catarina / Magnus and Alec is sooooo much better than living with Iris ever was, so her having such a strong opposition against going with Iris seems unrealistic to me.
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Love this. So good.
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This is actually really beautiful
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This is actually really dramatic for no reason and I'm soooo here for it.
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Soooooo am I the only one wondering why the F Cat didn't put some wards on Magnus's place? I mean????? There is no explanation given for that, and frankly I can't come up with one. If not for Magnus, then Cat would at least put wards there while Madzie stays with him. Or....... do they want to imply Cat doesn't know that he lost his magic?? Hä?! If so, who the hell patched Alec back up from his neat little life-threatening arrow wound? Cuz I had assumed it was Cat. Since, y'know Jace pleaded with Magnus to help Alec, implying (to me at least) that an iratze alone wouldn't cut it this time. Except of course, if he asked because he didn't want to be bothered with taking out his stele and activating Alec's healing rune, but when Magnus refused because no magic he had no other choice.... and let's be real, the first scene of this episode heavily implies that a healing rune can cure just about anything in 0.3 seconds flat.
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Alec wanting to bench Magnus makes no sense. Keeping him around and/or at the Institute makes more sense than, oh I don't know, telling him to stay in his loft where there are no wards. Wtf is logic anyway, right?
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I liked this scene, don't get me wrong but... what's with the tough love? Alec isn't usually like that?? He's soft and firm reassurance, not aggressive and authoritative reassurance. Did he try that route before and it didn't work?? I need some answers.
“I had no idea.”
“How could you? You weren't there.”
“Me leaving had nothing to do with Simon. I just needed to be alone.
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Okay, what, am I supposed to blame Maia now for needing time for and taking care of herself? She's so defensive as if her leaving was objectively wrong, and it wasn't.
“I guess when times get tough, some people need to be alone. And others need to be around other people.
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Please, this is a dirty lie. Remind me again, who was it that pushed Alec away after he found out about her yin fen addiction, insisted she could handle it on her own, ran away and finally confiding in some random stranger she had just met? It wasn't Maia. Who stayed up late all night, disregarding her own emotions and rather tearing herself apart trying to fix the drama of her brothers than to mention to anyone she wasn't alright? Wasn't Maia either.
I feel strongly about this because this seems like a really cheap way to break up Saia and set up Sizzy and I don't like cheap things. I don't like Sizzy either, but my main demand is quality, not a certain content. I'll accept Sizzy if it's done correctly. But this isn't it. This is laying blame on a character who's not to blame, and making claims about another character that are plain untrue if you look at the last three seasons.
I've said it before, there would be good ways to break up Saia. For example their attitude to violence differs greatly from one another. Maia is trigger-happy and sees no harm in it, Simon is more or less pacifistic (at least when he's not having his I-don't-care-about-anything-but-my-gig-mood). Creating a conflict out of this would have been in character. Claiming Maia is somehow to blame because she wasn't there is not only unfair, but also invalidating all Maia has done for Simon before, and that was a lot. Putting up with her shitty ex, helping him search for Lilith, fighting her own pack so they don't bully him. She was about to have a face-off with the Seelie Queen – the very same creature that held her hostage not too long ago – just to be by his side. Is that all suddenly not worth anything anymore, just because she had the audacity to take a little time for herself, to sort through her own issues?
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Seriously, he let her walk in that? No wonder she collapsed. Jonathan should have gotten her nice hiking boots.
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EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS
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CAN WE JUST.... CAN WE...... APPRECIATE.......... HOW HE BATS ALL HER MAGIC ATTACKS AWAY....... LIKE............ MAGNUS................ H O W
Btw if this is supposed to sway me and make me see that benching Magnus would have been the right call, then it's not working, because fine, let's assume Magnus had gone home. Then Iris would have had an even easier job to snatch him away, because a) no wards and b) no sword. And on top of that Alec wouldn't have had a way of knowing that Magnus was even taken, since I doubt Iris would have let Magnus call or text him.
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Do you even know that? I'd like to see what you're willing to do after being tortured for ten years. Just saying. But fine. Stay there on your high horse.
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Ohmygod I am stunned. I couldn't have written that summation any better and to be honest I had assumed the show would just blackpaint Jonathan as evil villain and be done with it. This is so much more than I expected. I am impressed. (And of course now I hope that there will be a redemption arc for Jonathan, but I'm afraid I'm setting myself up for heartbreak with this one.)
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Do they intend to tell me that this whole place is warmed by the fireplace? Why not by a heater? Since the three billion lamps
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imply there's electricity somewhere. Or was that line about firewood just Jonathan's way to exit the scene? Who knows.
“Ollie? Doesn't remember a thing. Praetor was good about getting her and Samantha relocated. New identities. They're safe now, like everyone else.”
I'm still high-key bitter about this. I love Ollie a great deal, okay, so this is a pretty disappointing solution to outsource her from the plot. Just let her forget all the shit so she doesn't have to deal with trauma. Guess she thinks now her mother died in an explosion caused by a gas leakage or something. I wonder what the mundane police has to say about that and how long it'll take them to find her, since, y'know, they have evidence against her and all that.
Edit: This doesn't actually make sense if you think about it. Did Ollie just get dropped into a witness protection program for no reason she can remember? Or does that “new identities” actually mean they have completely new identities because they don't remember ANYTHING from their old life?? I need answers.
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I get it. This is supposed to make me see how rundown and wasted Luke is. But is he purposefully trying to make himself look like a confused hobo? I mean couldn't he like, prepare the notes he wanted to show Jace? It's like he's trying to reinforce to Jace he shouldn't listen to a thing Luke says because these are clearly the actions of a desperate man. Presentation is half the battle man, man.
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Hah, badass. There's a reason I love him.
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I totally dig Magnus in his kiddie clothes, but I also need a lot of answers because there's blood on his hands and bodies at his feet and this doesn't look like magic gone haywire, this looks like a massacre and I need answers. I wonder if they're gonna explain this flash or just let it sit there uncommented. (I hope they address it and I hope it has something to do with Asmodeus and their time together.)
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Ugh do I honestly have to reiterate that parking Magnus in his ward-less loft wouldn't have helped? Also, he's a grown-ass man and can make decisions for himself, dammit.
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Owning up to his mistakes unrestrainedly. There's a reason I have a soft spot for Raphael.
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New York, huh? What a coincidence. Wouldn't want him to live somewhere else and have Maia burn through the other half of her paycheck to pay some warlock to portal them again, right?
Also, not to be controversial, but why don't they ask the Praetor first? Since they had a whole ass book on the mark of cain and everything. And figured out what it is. And getting rid of something so dangerous is basically their job. I mean. Just saying.
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You know I always marvel at this. Just because he's old he knows shit? Is there really an age where knowledge pops into your head just because? Because I'm still waiting for that to happen to me, let me tell you. Just like being immortal somehow grants you immediate access to celebrities and the questionable honor to be in the midst of all historical events of the slightest relevance? Srsly if I was immortal I'd still be glued to my lappy and hate going out.
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LOL give Iris a front row seat on how you smashed her XD XD XD
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IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE
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<3 <3 <3
This exchange thing is a ploy, and to be honest, a painfully obvious one. I find it really kinda hard to believe Iris falls for it. What I've been asking myself since this plot line started is, why didn't Iris have that idea herself? Like, I honestly expected her to use Magnus as a hostage and tell Alec he either hand over Madzie or she'll kill Magnus. Makes way more sense than her just trying to find Madzie herself and then what, try to break her out again? That didn't work last time, and since the warlocks are warned by Magnus's abduction it'd be even unlikelier to work now. I get it plot-wise since it'd be a little awkward if Iris out-blackmailed the Shadowhunters, but like. Seriously. What's the in-universe-explanation for this???
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I don't know why, but Magnus looks super cute in this shot.
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Five bucks say this is Izzy with a shapeshifting rune, and ISTG if this is actually Madzie then I can just shake my head at them.
Okay, I totally dig Lightwood siblings working together but. Why do you have to simultaneously hurt me with plot holes.
1) Where did they get Seelie Magic? Did they employ Meliorn? Srlsy. Also, the Seelie Magic at the beginning of the episode could move so why was Illusion!Madzie standing there like a display dummy? That was super suspicious.
2) Why didn't they use a shapeshifting rune? The illusion would have held longer, Izzy could have gotten closer and tied Iris up more easily, without Magnus getting smashed first. But, drama I guess.
3) Where the f is Catarina? Please. Her ward almost gets kidnapped and all she does is go “Oh shit, gotta relocate her to some other High Warlock lol.” Her best friend gets kidnapped and all she does is go “Oh shit, but whatever, here have a fake ransom note but don't think I'll move my ass from this super important Bitching and Drinking Conference. I payed like 200 bucks to get in.” Wtf. This is shitty ooc behavior from her. Wtf. She's either suuuuuper confident that Alec and Izzy will get Magnus back no problem, or she doesn't give a shit about him, and sorry, I don't believe either of those two options.
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HAHAHA I'M SCREAMING LOOOOOL!!! Is this code for “We wanted to kill her but Lilith was quicker so we'll pretend we weren't even interested in killing her in the first place”? The Clave, man. Always good for a laugh.
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No, dummy, this is their R&D Department.
I'm not even kidding, remember 2x04:
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Oh the good old times.
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This was. Really good. Really. I'm like, reeling. I feel like show writers read too many fanfics and therefore the Malec scenes this ep were exquisite. Magnus evasively running around and not liking his “powerlessness.” Alec there to reassure him with the sweetest of words. Their kiss, not to short, but hard and determined, with feeling. Top tier shit.
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Wow, even though the words that left their mouths were reassuring and good it still feels like their relationship is suddenly dying. I wonder why that is? Oh, right. Because Sizzy, that's why.
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I love.
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Ooooh guess the residual electricity finally ran out. And I guess Clary turned all the candles off to match the mood? Also, since it was dark outside before and now isn't anymore.... was Jonathan out collecting firewood the entire night? That's dedication, man.
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.......what a coincidence that their healing rune is in the exact same spot. On that note, I've been wondering.... if the ressurection resetted his skin to a state it hasn't been in for ten years, effectively un-charring it, shouldn't his runes have disappeared as well? Did he spend the “days” Clary was sleeping with putting runes all over himself?? On that note, why the hell did Clary have to sleep for days when Jonathan was the one who came back from the dead? All that Clary did was running at Simon in slow motion. I mean, I know what I would find more taxing.
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I soooo appreciate the blood on her teeth. Such care for detail <3
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Okay, so I realize that this makes Jonathan look like a fanatic, but I actually understand this scene like this: He's not an idiot. He knew Clary wasn't really going to give him a chance. But this, this is his chance, because now she has no choice but to stick with him and see for herself.
Btw if you're wondering why I'm so pro Jonathan, you can read the beginning of this post where I got out all of my Jonathan Feels. Basically, until I actually see him act intrinsically evil I refuse to believe all hope is lost for him. He did terrible things, yes, and he's aware of that, but the way I see it he did them because he wasn't ever presented with an alternate choice. And now that he has one, he's holding onto it tooth and nail. He wants to leave all the pointless violence behind.
I'm aware he's a sadistic psycho in the books, but this wouldn't be the first time the show gave a character a make-over (for the better) and so far the only compelling piece of evidence on the show in favor of Jonathan's demon blood causing him to be unsavably evil was Jocelyn's vision of him killing a flower as a baby, and it's not even clear if that was intentional. So excuse me if that's not enough for me to write him off.
Gif Sources: Malec cheek kiss, Magnus being cutesy with his croc impression, Magnus brandishing his sword *facepalm* you know what I mean, Magnus batting Iris's magic away
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paraclete0407 · 3 years
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‘These external regions, what do we fill them with except reflections, the escapades of death, Cinderella fulfilling herself beneath a roof?’ - He was former NVA SF, asked me about HumDev, lazy nurses, indifferent students at UW-Milwaukee doing the bare minimum to get by & I wondered did he mean me with my ever-and-omni-present side-projects or was he sincerely / authentically asking if I could help raise their kids up in some respect? - proffered ‘The Miracle of Mindfulness,’ commended chocolate; ‘my son’s good at math I wish him to attend med school + buy me a yacht.’ 
I don’t remember much about ‘The Miracle of Mindfuless’ except at this late hour w/ day far-spent to reflect that it’s better to be what you are than what ‘might’ or what-not.
2010 - ‘I’m a bad guy underlyingly,’ a cigarette outside the square room, duck-soup, rice and lamb.  A region of Turkiyeh called ‘Cotton Mountains’ or so & the young girl who drew you.  Like Arthur Schopenhauer you played the flute but you were interested in the hospitality industry as I was long ago; contemplating Cornell Hotel Management, snow-sledding on cafeteria-trays, baking cookies, not trying to change the world or make a difference or improve humanity.
An abiding sympathy, regret, or ‘Teacher Dream.’  Sometimes I ate ceremoniously and sometimes ‘banqueted,’ Jacob from Church of God said Koreans eat fast and I eat slowly.  Fiery skies like a baptism of fire & why do less than you can; people like Wm. Empson cite ‘Gra(e?)y’s Elegy’ about wasting your life in protest against prostitution and the ways in which the little people mask or keep big dreams, extensive educations, memories of Mom or Sunday School or ‘one perfect day.’  It’s considered tasteful not to say what you know or see but I have never known how to live cleanly with moral, sexual, amator, communicative, pedagogical or even mere stylistic failure & ‘I went blind when I learned to see’  ‘Drive’ in which we actualized everything that mental North Koreans we believed would help us to transcend American complacence; the belief ‘tomorrow will be like today or only more so’ or - my own ‘pet writeoff’ - that STEM, AI, IT could be left to the Asians and why should I care when they’re writing grants mostly and even hard-math-sci PhD’s oft can’t eat or sleep right, desperately pen grant-proposals?  
Hedge funds appear to harvest the best mathematicians; I failed the audition again; my casting-couch was in Korea laying in the office, ‘I’m so lonely.’  ‘A truth that’s told with bad intent’ from ‘Auguries of Innocence’ & I wished I could learn forever at a teacher’s or a father’s feet.  
‘It’s hard for me to understand your mind..’ ‘I won’t change.’ 
The bus-drivers were conscientious in those days.
‘Dead Malls of America’ was missing the point it turns out.  I was too.
‘Twixt Wicker Park and Logan Square’ & I am wondering whether these corridors and this miniaturization are the right answer to American grandiosity or a source of new mental illness, as when Updike’s tour-guide ate toast with a tomato and was patently not there.  XM101(?) automatic shotgun, AR-15, ‘The Purge.’  I realized that it was possible and good to be a man myself whatever the government but once again failed to plant the lesson in good ground.  
About what was I ever and most right?
‘You gave me that’ and ‘I’m 30,’ tendency to plagiarize or simply agree at the top of our lungs, the end of our chain - ‘at a certain pitch in literature images and figures and metaphors start to disappear’ - and some resort to fiction and some to ‘a close personal voice.’  ‘Hanging Up’ was a good idea; something my friend said.  
Milwaukee seems full of drug-dealers and such and it’s scary.  I too wanted a wife and daughters and to protect someone in particular the system bypassed but I’ve never been shot at by thugs or my perforated car impounded.  Am I worse than he b/c I said stuff about prostitution for years, because I don’t engage every target I track like the F-35 helmet.  ‘Love Thy Neighbor’ and ‘Grace Age 16′ and ‘Planespotting’ and ‘Waiting for ACB’ but they were all pre-C-19.  New femininity, new masculinity - I don’t even know what’s ridiculous or pathetic or reasonable anymore.  
Someone once asked did I want to go skydiving; her boyfriend had a dumb philosophy of life.
At NYU Medical Center I talked about ‘clinical vignettes’ and later recollected these the women / young girls of my generation - I was fond of / heartened by Christina Aguilera’s ‘The Voice Within’ and wondered / questioned ‘Why’s Britney Spears non campus mentis insane nihilist in conservatorship whilst Christina is winning the McGovern Award?’ - Xinjiang-farmed for profit, pleasure, fun, to prove a point about ‘paternalism’ or ‘kill the chicken to scare the monkey.’
I loved ‘Give Me a Reason’ by Utada Hikaru; long dresses with cardigans.  What is gained through the addition of cocktail-hours / ‘chemical unwind.’  Speculating that a soju-highball would be less likely to cause acute or chronic blindness than the one with vodka or kill kids like in the UK but it was still ‘fellowship with the world.’  ‘That Girl’s House’ gave me to realize that h/History is or was absolutely real but those descriptions are weapons-systems and such drunkenness and dreams / imaginations can be lethal.
‘Thank you; I love you; I’m sorry.’  I was preoccupied with ‘If she lives it is a chance which doth redeem all of the sorrows I have ever felt.’  ‘The Metaleptic Utterance.’  Mary HK Choi’s ‘Yolk.’  ‘Paragon of Grace’ or today ‘Charity.’  I wanted to write a ‘Rutgers Story’ called ‘The Graceful Airs’ about holding Durufle’s ‘Ubi Caritas et Amor’ amongst us but I quit Kirkpatrick Choir ‘cause I thought it was homosexuals looking to squire me and narcissistic art-for-art’s-sake artists who would marry reactionary if philosophical medical doctors that gang-rape mentally ill people and lie about it on official documents without blinking.  I once hallucinated(?) that on Wiikpedia they’d changed the name to ‘Ubi Caritas Est Vera.’
‘German wine and German women’ - Syria kids under leaves in France, disappearances - the crux of my life might have been the double-rotary-bladed aircraft in Uijeongbu avec terrible swan-wing-drums and the cloth-dance.  Why did UKPM David Cameron resign before the racist hack May and a guy everyone knows has been lying from the incipit of his career?  I would never trust a politician whose essential personality-meme-bullet is to say ‘We all know.’  
I miss you man; I really do, though I accept no one’ll explain.  
‘Rain of Mercy,’ ‘Operation Valiant’ and ‘Occupation’ mutatis utandis WW3, KW2,TW, paratroopers - the Airborne Assault Division Commander stole my girlfriend-to-be to be his mistress and his moral reprobacy led to hemorraghic operation failure - souls and Spirit, ‘Leave America’ and ‘Night Falls over Milwaukee’ & ‘whilst’  
I was ‘sittin’ in the crib’ dreamin’ of the Library Science and Medicine drapes and studying there about the psycholinguistics and phenomenology of the human face I really should’ve been saying sth more about the Russians leaving here.  Rex Imperator Putin tortures homosexuals, approves of Christianity - who can calculate the scale or plot the details Vladimir Volkoff-style or the optimal ‘differentiated instruction’ object-lessons?
All the people who’d talk to me are far away or hidden; I keep hearing ‘Hold Me Fast’ and ‘Need Thee Evr’y Hour.’  I sincerely, devoutly wish a saint would just come strangle me in prison a la ‘Sympathy for Taeyeon’s Vengeance,’ ‘Tumblr TaeyeonKatanas,’ my grand theory of Covid cf. clerical sex-abuse, Church disunities, anti-Asian racism, denial of h/History, evangelical shortcuts and unnecessary tradeoffs.  ‘Come closer to me [tremolando crescendo] - let me.’  Do any of these authors like Lee Child realize what they mean and why if so do they write for money / therapeutic distraction instead of screaming?
Thank you, I love you, I’m sorry.
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positivelyamazonian · 7 years
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Asky Lulu back again! How much space is given to Lara's and Kurtis' approach to alcohol in your headcon? Core planned to make Lara an alcoholic after the events in Egypt. It's one of the few things I don't agree with them about. Yes, she's deeply depressed/hurt and a bottle of sth may seem to be the only solution; and she's too proud to seek professional help. BUT Lara is smart enough to know it's only temporary. I see your Kurtis more prone to alcoholism than Lara, to be honest...Thank you💗
Hi Lulu! :) Well, it’s always a pleasure to answer your well-thought, researched asks. Though you’ve already read chapter 2 from The Legacy and a glimpse of my idea concerning this is hinted here, it will be a honor to develop this a little more for you! :)
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First time I read about Core’s idea of making Lara an alcoholic after the events of Egypt, I rejected it immediately. I didn’t like it. Lara had been always to me like the prototype of strong woman, and - in general, this is not an universal statement - people who drinks excessively tries to drown their sorrows in alcohol to avoid facing their reality. They are weak, and Lara’s not weak. 
Then, after a while, I realized it wasn’t totally a bad idea. I like to see human beings in all their perfection and flaws, the complexity of the human psyche. I just love that. They were trying to make her more human - tho I think she was already human in some ways - so that’s why I don’t think people who have called her an “ice queen” have the slighest idea of what they’re talking about.
In the end, Core discarded the idea and I’m glad they did, for it was too extreme. For her, I mean, not for other kind of character. But she’s always been strong, she’s always being in-control of herself, and ok, I might accept she can take a drink or two when feeling a bit down, but not to the point of becoming an alcoholic. That marks a person per-life - even if you overcame the addiction, it will always be a delicate matter to you. You’ll try to avoid it forever. Seeing a glass or a bottle with alcohol will be always a painful memory, a constant temptation.
Not very Croftish. I’m glad they throw aside that idea, and that’s why I threw it aside too. My Lara’s not an alcoholic, she’s never been that. She might have drunk a little after Egypt, but not to the point of developing an addiction. If she didn’t drink after crashing into the Himalaya’s and being the only survivor, while would she do that now? Just, nah. Her way of escaping things is adventuring, and after Egypt, she might have drink more than usual, and hide herself from the world in her home, but nothing more. The Lara we met in TRAOD is not a drunk. She’s perfectly fine, she even trades with alcohol bottles through the Parisian guetto without taking a sip - correct me if I’m mistaken, but you can’t become an alcoholic and then in only two years grab a bottle and not feeling the slighest temptation of taking a sip. At least, it doesn’t sound logical to me, much less in Lara’s case.
And I can’t agree you more concerning the fact she’s too proud for seeking professional help. She wouldn’t. This is 100% Croft. Bravo. Thats why I laughed my ass when seeing Laraboot going to that psychiatrist btw
Other idea was hinted is that, in a rage or amidst a drunk crisis, she sets fire to Croft Manor. I hated this idea even more than the first one, and I’m glad they discarded it, and so I did. My Lara has never set fire to Croft Manor. It’s her home. She’s not uncomfortable there - “Welcome back to my humble abode” -, tho she prefers, obviously, to be somewhere else, adventuring. 
It’s also Winston’s home, and the home of each one of her friends that might need to stop by for a while - and in my universe, it’s also Anna’s home, and even Kurtis’ home tho he doesn’t feel like he belongs there. Lara would never do that, specially for Winston, who’s taking care of the place while she’s travelling. Setting her aunt’s inheritance and Winston’s daily hard work on fire… no, just no. She won’t reach that limit. I rather see her injuring herself before injuring others, specially those who worried about her when her parents disowned her.
So in the end, Lara might have drunk a bit more than usual in her past, but she’s not an alcoholic and she’s not enthusiastic about alcohol. And here comes the headcanon: she will pretty much despise alcoholics - when not directly pity them. For her, alcohol is a resource for cowards, for people who doesn’t know how to face their problems. It’s a cruel approach, but I think seriously it will be hers. It’s Lara Croft. She can be really cruel and merciless, and in this case, she is.
Not that she thinks she is better for not being dependant of alcohol, of course. Not that she totally rejects it. It’s just, it’s not a healthy habit and she prefers to avoid unhealthy habits, tho she’ll drink in certain occasions if the circumstances requires it. But not against her own will or desire, of course.
Shelooked down at the champagne glass, still half full. In Dubai shariawas strict: no alcohol, but these laws weren’t made for foreigners andcertainly not for the hotels where they were entertained. Still, she had nodesire to drink. In fact, all she wanted was to get out of there.
- MR. VANCE RENNER, Tomb Raider One-shot 3
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Now, what about Kurtis? He’s absolutely different to Lara. He’s been through serious shit during all his life - that doesn’t mean Lara hasn’t, but she has a different way to face things. Not Kurtis. He’ll drink. A lot.
Murti never mentioned something like this but he describes him as a “tough customer”. After knowing a little about his biography - the son of a Lux Veritatis and a Navajo woman, harshly trained in the ways of the Order - you can only imagine how much suffering that training could have meant to him, and how sick he got of the Shadow War, so that he decides to betray his people and run away… to seek refuge in the Foreign Legion. The freaking Foreing Legion, which is reputed to be one of the harshest armies in the world, with a really brutal training, composed by ex-convicts and criminals who seek to have their reports expunged, turning their former crimes into military services. A living hell. And he went in there being only 19 years old. Wow.
Of course he only stays there until he achieves French citizenship, then he quits. But even in there he’s chased by demons, to the point his own partners nickname him Demon Hunter after he fights a defeats a djinn in the Arabian desert. This is all Murti’s canon, not mine. It is there when my own headcanon starts.
Taking into account his background story - a warrior, a soldier, a Legionnaire, a hardened fighter - I wanted to develop Kurtis as a tragic character, a tortured soul. Being alcoholic suited him perfectly after that. My idea is that he drank - and drank a lot - during his years in the Legion, together with his partners, and he even won drinking competitions. It’s there when Kurtis develops a tolerance for alcohol. He might haven been punished by his superiors for drinking too much and not be in top form for the military service - and hell, in the Foreing Legion punishments are harsh, even to the point of physical injure, but, what’s that compared with his Lux Veritatis training?
He can take it, and he takes it. After winning several drinking contest, instead of dying of alcohol intoxication or turning his liver into a can of foie gras, he develops an extreme tolerance for alcohol. Just like Marion Ravenwood in Raiders of the Lost Ark, by the way.
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This is one of my earliest headcanons, if you remember :) He even uses his alcohol tolerance as a resource to get information, according to his will of always keeping a low profile, his past as a double agent and his choice of not using violence is he can achieve something in a more discreet way.
In fact, Kurtis still had his first glass half full while his partnerwas on his twelfth. He’d only wet his lips twice. “I can’t overdo.” He replied with a calm smile.“I recently had stomach surgery and shouldn’t be playing with this.”
At least, that wasn’t a lie. In fact, he had really good alcohol tolerance - when the fellow right there wouldbe on the floor Kurtis would feel onlya slight tingling; but it wasn’t time to get drunk, not even to sound moreconvincing.
- THE GOLDEN SEAL, chapter 17, This man will survive
So, we can say Kurtis does not become a drunk in the strict sense of the word - he could have not survived too long to that, no matter the Gift - but he obviously will drink without problem most of the time, and of course, he’ll totally drink when feeling down and depressed.
And I mean, really down and really depressed, for he will need a lot of alcohol to really lost conciousness. And he won’t achieve  it most of the times - unless he intends to make his own liver explode. And as we said previosuly, he has not a suicide impulse. He just wants to fade away. For a while. To drown his sorrows with alcohol. 
That’s why he has a different approach of alcohol that Lara has - he’s no problem with it, and he doesn’t exactly  despise drunk people - he pities them at most, and they will remind him of himself most of the time. 
Of course, I’ve always meaning high-grade beverages, and he will only resource to them in extreme situations. If you recall Café Metro, what was he drinking in there?
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Exactly. He’s drinking red wine, as far as I know, provided he’d ordered it and it’s not just a tempation dropped there by Pierre, lmao.
I am not an expert in alcoholic beverages - you know I don’t usually drink and when I do, I easily get drunk at the first shot lmao - but I think it takes a bit of taste to prefer red wine over whisky - for example. He’s just there enjoying a glass of French red wine - isn’t that cute, please - because it’s duty day. He’s not renouncing to a bit of alcohol, but definitely he’s not drinking bourbon or something like that.
Ok, this answer is again long af, isn’t it? Time to shut up. Just, long story short: no, Lara’s not and has never been an alcoholic, she might have drink a little more than usual in the past, but definitely that didn’t leave a mark in her. She’ll pretty much despise alcohol as a way of solving things. She’ll have her own ways to deal with problems.
Kurtis, on the opposite, while not being a drunk in the strict sense of the word, has drunk a lot in the past, to he point of developing alcohol tolerance. Most of the time, he’s in control, except when having a disturbing experience or feeling particularly weak, down and depressed. 
But, what is a disturbing experience for a war hero, a lonely wolf who has dealt all his life with disturbing, disgusting and unpleasant situations? Obviously, every person, no matter how tough, has their limits and their buttons to be pushed. And he’ll react badly if having his feelings hurt or his soft spots touched. That’s why he used to conceal those feelings from everyone.
Of course, there’s a single exception for that rule, and this person can really push his buttons. And this is all I can say, for now.
Enough of this. Ana out
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