#Table For Two | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ageofnations · 1 year

Text

Table For Two - Part Thirteen

In collaboration with @welightthefire

Jake Kiszka x OC x Josh Kiszka

Summary: “What started out as a new job unexpectedly became something more for Sydney Baker. There’s only room at the table for two… How will she navigate her feelings and come to a decision? How can she choose between two sides of the same coin?”

Warnings: angst, anxiety, tiny bit of platonic fluff (let us know if we should add anything)

Word Count: ~5.4k

taglist // playlist // masterpost

A/N: thanks for being so patient with us and we hope we can make it up to you!

Part Thirteen

The view that stretched out before him resembled something like that of a nature documentary he had found himself time and time again mindlessly watching at three in the morning. The vast canopy of verdant fauna seemed to roll in waves across the dips and rises in the valley below. The sun was blinding, illuminating everything in its wake in a grand display of color.

As the heels of his boots sunk into the rocky earth beneath his feet, he let his eyes wander further. His gaze spanned the width of the rocky ledge that jutted out before him, stopping once they landed on her figure. Her bare toes threatened to curl around the jagged edge of the basalt as her long hair swept in the soft breeze behind her. The sun shone directly over her bare legs, the tanned hue of her complexion somehow glowing as she bathed in the light. He couldn’t help the shiver that crept its way along his spine when he noticed the denim fabric hanging off her shoulders.

His chest hurt as he watched her motionless form gaze out over the sight before her. Her body language was the epitome of peace and grace, yet the soulful connection he had formed with her over the past months led him to feel her inner conflicts.

Jake knew she was beating herself up and he hated that he couldn’t do anything but stand there and watch as her arms moved to wrap around her middle and her thumb twisted against the ring on her index finger. He could feel her anxiety and her sorrow, her remorse and her regret, her confusion and uncertainty just as if they were his own emotions, and in a way, they were.

He wanted to hold her, kiss her. He wanted to reassure her that everything would work itself out, that it would be fine. That one way or another, they could figure it out together.

But he couldn’t. The marks embedded in the dirt from his weight seemed to ground him, glue him to that one spot. His pulse raced as he watched her fingers trail up along the path of passion left on her breast up towards the sweet spot behind her ear. A place where she couldn’t see but remained a reminder of the early hours they shared together, wrapped up in each other’s limbs.

In the distance, he could hear the piercing call of an eagle cut through the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. Then, that same breeze, it kissed the bare skin of his arms in such a way that it caused his flesh to crawl. There was darkness amidst the light, greater than any feeling shared along the invisible red string between the two.

He wasn’t welcome here.

No matter how beautiful, how heavenly, how wondrous this escape to nature was, he couldn’t shake the horrible feeling that was burrowing itself deeper inside his gut. There was an inescapable dread that threatened to climb up his throat and escape his lips in a silent scream.

Something was wrong.

Maybe it was his presence in such a beautiful place, somehow tainting the air around him. Perhaps him being there was the reason Syd stood as still as a statue while her mind ran rampant.

He wished he could be the lighthouse in her harbor, the anchor that weighed her down and kept her at the shore. The terrors she was feeling inside… He wished nothing more than to take them away so she could find peace.

But that was all it was.

Wishful thinking.

Before he had even realized it, he found the familiar hum buzzing along his throat as his voice carried across the space between them. “Slip.”

Jake took a few short steps towards her, his dark irises eyeing her intently as her shoulders fell from their tense position. He swore he saw the apple of her cheek swell from his viewpoint, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Baby, please,” he pleaded, not stopping his footfalls until he was right behind her. Close enough to touch, but he wasn’t brave enough. Her broken emotions that seemed to flicker like a picture show through his mind held him back.

As she abruptly turned her head to face him, the familiar aroma of vanilla lifting up towards his senses, clouding his mind in unbridled comfort. For just a moment, her eyes held a certain kind of sadness, one of longing for a lost lover.

He wished her expression would fall, change into something brighter. He wished a meek smile would turn the corners of her lips upward, but they stayed.

“Jake,” she breathed with tears evident in the glossy coat that caused her eyes to sparkle in the late-afternoon sunlight.

“Hi, baby,” he smiled sadly, his own tears silently creeping over the defined structure of his cheekbones.

It hurt him to see her like this and to know that he couldn’t take it away. There wasn’t anything he could think of to do, except to exist there within her presence.

He watched as the tension lifted from her shoulders once more and she began to relax under his gaze. It was for only a second that her arms fell to her sides before they were wrapped around her torso once more.

“I miss you,” he spoke, hesitantly, fearful that if he said too much, he would scare her away.

Make her leave again.

Her silence was deafening as she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, seeming to try and find the words that wouldn’t come out. She stuck out her tongue and swiped it along the plane of her plump lower lip, intaking a deep sigh after what seemed like hours but was only mere moments before her body crashed against his like a tidal wave.

‘I miss you,’ Syd’s voice sang through the creases and crevices in his brain, sending neurons firing left and right at the sound. ‘I’m here. You don’t have to miss me, because I’m here.’

Her arms snaked around his neck as she pushed herself up on her toes to press her chest flush against his. The floral scent of her shampoo intoxicated him as his nose kissed the hollow of her cheek. Her action froze any and all attempts at a reaction from him towards the embrace that she was holding him in so tightly. It was all he could do to steady their bodies by holding firmly to her waist.

As the pair stood there, Jake’s breath grew uneven and staggered. He wished he could feel at peace in this beautiful place with her. He wished he could take away all of the hurt and sorrow he knew she was feeling inside, but was too proud to admit to.

He couldn’t help but feel as though this was some sort of goodbye. His chest hurt, overflowing with his own pain. A dark and twisted kind of emotion that snaked and constricted tighter and tighter as it threatened to suffocate him completely. The feeling wasn’t panic. In fact, it was something else entirely.

It was the fact that he felt her slipping away from him. Her voice in his head was nothing but a wishful response to what he wanted her to say.

Needed her to say.

Jake couldn’t imagine a day without her shy smile filling a room, her witty remarks stunning him into silence, the soft touch of her fingertips against his arm a gentle reminder that she was there. After so many moments in time where they found themselves together, they had gotten to the point where they could share themselves unabashedly.

So much work, so many memories.

Little conversations that turned into special blips of mind space stored away to find happiness within the melancholy.

The tears slid down his cheeks in a slow trickle, losing themselves within the strands of her dark hair. He didn’t want to lose her, but he didn’t know how to make her stay. There was an innate fear deep within him that any word spoken about that morning would cause her to flee like an unsuspecting deer caught in a field.

So he kept quiet, kept his thoughts at bay.

But someone else couldn’t help it.

“Why?” The raspy voice sounded, coming from neither Jake nor Syd. It was Josh.

Jake could feel his twin’s eyes boring holes into the back of his skull. It caused a feeling of unease to arise in his chest, ceasing the constriction but heightening the pressure. It was a wonder why Syd couldn’t hear his heart begin to pound, and if she did, she didn’t let on. Josh was watching them, observing their embrace, scrutinizing their intimacy.

The grip he had on Syd’s waist tightened as he paused his breathing, waiting for his brother’s words that would never come. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Syd’s body shift, her torso bumping against his as she rose to stand on her tiptoes. Jake choked back a whimper as Josh spoke again.

“Why?” He repeated. “Why, why, why-?”

Jake could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end at the chilled, dead tone of his brother’s voice. He didn’t have to turn to see the man staring, not at them, but almost through them. The visual of Josh displayed clearly in his mind.

Usually tan, glowing skin gone pale.

Warm, chestnut eyes grew dark and cold.

Bouncy curls fell flat.

Tall, confident shoulders sunk low, defeated.

Yet, Jake still felt threatened. Syd could see them both and he knew she was watching Josh from over his shoulder. The shift of her shirt against his didn’t go unnoticed by him.

He could feel her bury her head into his neck, her shoulders shaking just enough to indicate that she was crying. The gesture only made him feel that much more intimidated by his brother’s presence. It seemed as if this were the end of the hug he had quickly lost himself in. As if her movement foreshadowed her impending departure. He felt as if she was letting him bask in her presence while he still could, crying only because of the pain she would cause.

“You can leave, if you need to,” he croaked out, voice hoarse as he tried to keep his composure. He didn’t want her pity, not if it meant she suffered in the meantime.

Still, she shook her head. And for reasons he couldn’t understand, she clutched onto him tighter.

“You can,” he insisted. As much as it hurt him to let her go a second time, he would do it a million times over if it was what made her happy.

He had heard that dreams were the mind’s way of processing things. Preparing for possible situations, accepting that which has passed. And with that knowledge, he made his decision. He’d fully lean into what was to come. What had already happened.

He’d accept the fact that he lost her. He’d come to terms with a reality that was just as bitter on his tongue as the name of any of his past lovers. He would let her leave.

And with Josh’s voice becoming clearer and clearer, more dangerous and disgusted, it felt as if her departure would arrive sooner rather than later. Her fingers twisted into the fabric of Jake’s t-shirt the moment Josh’s open palm connected with his brother’s shoulder.

In an instant, Jake’s arms tightened around Syd’s frame to keep her pressed flush against his as the earth fell out from beneath their feet. As her eyes widened with surprise but not with fear, they descended through the free fall.

Together.

—

It had been two weeks…

Two weeks of living in the confines of his wandering mind, spinning in circles as if he were a lost puppy in search of its favorite human. There was a sense of listlessness as Jake went through his days, repeating the same old actions from muscle memory.

He would wake up to the sound of his alarm blaring a monotonous tone, but instead of getting up once it was silenced, he would lay there staring at the ceiling as images of Syd danced before him. Jake spent his mornings longing for her, imagining what more he could have done to make her stay.

Each moment, every memory of her, replayed in his mind like an old home movie. The bittersweet sense of nostalgia creeping in and anchoring him down into his mattress as the weight of wonder sat heavily atop his chest.

That first fateful encounter on the curb out behind the diner while her dark lashes glistened in the orange light.

When Syd slipped and fell in the diner and earned herself a special nickname, cheeks painted red from embarrassment while a silly grin turned her lips upward.

The car ride home from Green’s when she kept drunkenly repeating her address aloud to him in between giggles as if she would forget it.

The morning after she spent the night and Jake played and sang her the song he wrote, and she sat there soaking up every moment with wide, adoring eyes.

When they danced in her kitchen so gently, it was as if neither of them were moving a single muscle.

And the morning before everything went to shit, when he laid there soaking up all of her and traced swirls and loops along the surface of her skin with his calloused fingers.

It all seemed like ages ago.

As the days turned into a week and that week turned into another, he seemed to live through those little moments in time before things changed. He’d rather be there than in the hell he was currently living in.

The diner was dull without her bustling around, yet the elephant in the room added a layer of tension that was seemingly unavoidable. Occasionally, he’d still look for her when he placed an order in the window, anticipating to see her trotting to retrieve it with a smile on her face. Instead, it was always his little brother, and Jake only hoped he understood why his expression would fall. He seemed to be the only one that was hopeful of her return.

Josh was much quieter nowadays. His laughter and boisterous attitudes were now stamped out by anger. He was quiet, only responding when absolutely necessary, sometimes even going out of his way to relay messages through Sam instead of talking directly to his twin. Jake tried to not take it personally, but deep down, he loathed the situation. He hated how something so trivial could alter his brother’s spirit, and ultimately, change their relationship completely. He wished he could find the same resentment that Josh had, the bitterness evident in each corner of his demeanor.

That bitterness that resided until Josh saw her. The new girl with the shorter, dark curls that had been hired on to take Syd’s place. The girl who was doing everything she could to fit in but seemed to be a ghost of her predecessor. Even some of her features resembled Syd’s. From the soft slope of her nose to the small stature she stood and many small things in between. She was wonderful at her job, great with customers, kind and charismatic, but just not Syd.

It was enough for Josh, though. He had latched on to her as soon as she was hired, greeting her each day with a warm and welcoming smile. Carrying on conversations anytime they were near, much unlike the niceties he’d grant his brothers. He seemed to have an easier time at work because of her - able to forget everything that had transpired and gotten his brother and him to where they are now - just because of her.

But Jake couldn’t forget. He didn’t want to forget.

Sam seemed to be doing everything he could to juggle the questions and suspicions that Jake would present to him. Anything that pertained to Syd in the least bit - concerns about her wellbeing, inquiries of her current situation, attempts to know more about her - were all returned with vague responses and nonchalant answers.

“Is she okay?” Jake had asked, desperate for any information he could squeeze from his brother. He had seen her image flash across the screen of Sam’s phone mid-shift, and the sound rang through the diner before he had rushed outside to take the call in a more private area. As soon as he returned, though, that need for privacy was disregarded.

Sam sighed. “Jake, I already told you-.”

“No, you told me that she’d be fine. Not that she was okay, not that she was safe, nothing.” Jake followed him as he weaved through the area. “You won’t give me any more than that?”

He didn’t flinch. He didn’t return any indication that he had even heard Jake’s questioning. He simply carried on with his tasks.

“Sam, seriously, this is getting ridiculous-”

“I think you have a few orders you need to work on, don’t you?”

His words were cold, unrelenting - avoiding the discussion at hand. He paid no mind to the anguish that was laden in his brother’s tone. He seemed to only care about the measly duties that the diner provided as a distraction.

What Jake didn’t know, is that it was quickly becoming just as hard for Sam as it was for his brothers. He had spent months accustomed to seeing his best friend essentially every day. Months of inside jokes and teasing, ranting and gossiping, all replaced by the occasional text or phone call.

Of course, he found it difficult to avoid the slew of questions that Jake came to him with, but in reality, Sam knew much less than the others thought he did. Syd talked to him some, but not nearly as often as she would before. He could only assume she was trying to save him from the burden of her secrets.

She had told him about the new job she had landed, the bookstore that she had frequented on the other side of town. After texting Danny and apologizing for the such short notice of her resignation, she had immediately searched for another job to occupy her time. Sam knew that once she arrived and presented herself for recruitment, the owner hired her on the spot. Sam knew that she still lived at the same address - not minding the extra distance to travel for work nowadays - but that was all.

He didn’t know how she felt detached from her new reality. How nothing seemed right to her anymore. How she had to force herself to become familiar with this new routine, and how she moved through her days as if she were a robot, programmed to live through the hell she had made for herself.

Her work schedule looked different now, her shifts now taking place every morning of the week. One might’ve complained about such a transition, but for Syd, less time to herself was seen as a gift.

She would come home to cuddle up to Delta, who always seemed privy to the situation and change in her demeanor, and cycle through whatever she could find to distract herself with. Within minutes of watching a new movie, she’d find herself thinking back to Josh’s fascination with film and Jake’s gesture of constructing the pillow fort for their movie night - eventually having to abandon the activity altogether. Reading was never the same, the consideration of Josh’s potential interests in the book caused a turn in her stomach and pain in her heart.

Even the simple hobby of listening to music was different now. Instead of the song at hand, she would only hear Jake’s soft strumming and singing. She even felt herself rocking back and forth as they had in her kitchen, the movement both comforting and agonizing.

To say that she missed them was an understatement. She was consumed by the sense of longing left by her thoughts and memories with them. Although her first and last interactions with Josh were less than sweet, she cherished everything their relationship had blossomed to become. They bonded over quirks and shared interests, and eventually grew to the point where they relished in the company of one another. Josh pushed her limits. He pushed Syd out of her comfort zone to find the beauty outside of her normal routine. He encouraged the pursuit of spontaneity, and his presence was her reward.

But Jake. Jake’s presence was her solace.

Jake was the embodiment of acceptance, of home. He had shown interest in knowing her, and in learning everything that made her unique. As she opened up to him - allowed him in the depths of her worries and anxieties - he welcomed her with no judgment. He pulled her in and surrounded her with love and intrigue. And that’s what she missed the most.

How different they were, despite their similarities. The push and pull. Yin and yang, day and night.

With both, an offer of friendship and intimacy, but a requirement of choice. And how could one choose between the sun and the moon?

As obvious as her choice should have been, she couldn’t bring herself to hurt one by choosing the other. It seemed irrational to her, to reject Josh because of the possibility of there being more with her and Jake. It wasn’t reasonable to deny the obvious feelings she had garnered for the eldest, simply because of her infatuation with his counterpart. But in a way, not choosing was a decision in itself. A decision that led her here. To be alone and hurting.

She had no one.

Occasionally, she considered what she could be doing with her time if she had made the choice she had longed to make in the beginning. She imagined how her nights of working at the diner would play out, stealing kisses and glances when she could. She could envision nights full of teasing and taunting each other, playful banter and innocent touches. Carpooling to work to “save gas” when deep down it was just another excuse to see one another. Coming back to either apartment and unintentionally falling asleep together, waking in the morning to do it all over again.

If she had only made that choice, she’d be in his arms Sunday morning instead of trudging along at work. A folded-up piece of notebook paper weighed heavy in her pocket, a reminder of what could be.

As Syd stood amongst the musty bookshelves in the shop, boxes of inventory scattered around her, she looked over her shoulder to find her boss busy at the desk working on the computer. The quiet man wouldn’t mind if she took a few moments to give in to her curiosity, right?

She pulled the note out and fingered the corner of the page that was left on her doorstep just that morning. Her name was scrawled across the front in Jake’s hand, written in dark ink that was smudged just slightly. She had found it resting on the doormat when she had fumbled and dropped her keys while trying to keep Delta from escaping the confines of her home.

The instant recognition of his handwriting struck a sense of irrational fear into her core and she swiftly shoved it into the pocket of her jeans in hopes of forgetting about it. However, that wasn’t the case. As the minutes turned into hours, creeping by at a snail’s pace, the flimsy piece of paper burned a hole through the denim.

She couldn’t get the thought of it out of her mind. The contents of the note were unknown to her, but held the promise of closure. The words he had written were from the heart, regardless of what they were. She could feel the embossed imprint of his heavy hand from where he filled the page as she rubbed her thumb over the blank back of the lined sheet.

If she could close her eyes and separate herself from where she stood, for just a moment, she could imagine watching him from afar while he scrawled the words onto the paper and folded it carefully.

In her mental image of him, she could see him chewing on his bottom lip, an obvious sign of the anxiety and fear he was desperately trying to hold in. She could see his trembling hands, him wiping his sweaty palms on the fabric of his pants and getting frustrated by how clammy they felt. She could see a bouncing leg, the movement shaking the knick-knacks on the surface of the desk.

But she could also see tears in his eyes, threatening to fall with every blink, and although it was only her imagination, her heart yearned to be there with him. To hold his hands in hers as she knew he would if it were the other way around. To rub soothing circles along his skin. To wipe his tears and hold him close.

But would he want her to? Maybe he was writing his final words to her. Maybe this note was his goodbye, his acceptance of how things panned out and finalizing the end of whatever relationship the two had nurtured to this point. Maybe this note would be her last memory of him. She was unsure of what to anticipate.

Syd hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until her lungs began to burn. She took a sharp breath and peeked over her shoulder at her boss. He still sat at the same spot behind the desk, busying himself with whatever task was in front of him. With shaking hands and a lip sucked between her teeth, she opened the letter to reveal its truth.

“Syd,

I couldn’t leave, and I don’t see how you did it. You left without a word, without even the slightest glance. I know you felt like you had to, like everything was falling apart and you had to run before it all caved in on you. I know you felt hopeless, alone. But you weren’t. You aren’t. And I wish you would’ve just stayed, Syd. I wish you would’ve let me tell you that before you let your thoughts get the best of you.

I hope you’re okay.

You won’t answer my calls and I’m so fucking scared. I hoped you would at least tell me where you went. I hoped you would tell me that you’re okay. I need you to be okay.”

As she read, she could hear his gravelly tone echo in her mind as he spoke the words. Even though she was standing there reading and analyzing his writing, all along he had been observing her, learning her. A sharp pang shot through her chest as she came to the realization that he had taken his time earning her trust. Jake had done more than anyone else ever had to understand her and accept her exactly for who she was, not what she could be.

Even now, as his pain and confusion were bleeding through the page, it was clear to her that while choosing one of the brothers would inevitably hurt the other, not choosing was just as hard on at least one of them.

The guilt of leaving crushed her, now more than ever. Knowing that it caused such an intense reaction from him, knowing that these words could only express half of what he was feeling. It was all too much.

She almost stopped reading then and there. She could feel the tears begin to well and her heart begin to break. Especially as she forced herself to continue looking upon the page in her hand.

“I love you, Slip. More than the stars in the sky. More than life on Earth. More than guitar or music or the air that I breathe. I love you so much that it’s scary, and that fact has never changed. It will never change. I don’t care what happened. It doesn’t make me love you any less, and I just need you to come back. We can work through this together, if that’s something you’d want. God knows I do. I want you. I want us. I’ll never stop wanting that, and I’ll always be here whenever you’re ready. If ever.

All my love,

Jake”

He loved her.

Jake loved her.

She thought she would always remember the first time she heard the words fall from his plush lips. She thought she would have the time, date, and setting stamped into her mind forever, molding her into a new person as soon as the words danced in the air.

She didn’t think that she’d have the words permanently written on a piece of paper, multiple times. She didn’t imagine this being the circumstance of why the words were being said. Things were supposed to be different. The words weren’t meant to be spoken out of desperation, in such a pleading manner with a sense of uncertainty behind them. It was supposed to be them and only them.

But she somehow still managed to fuck that up, too.

Syd couldn’t believe the last few lines of the note, no matter how many times she read them. He claimed he wanted her, them. He insisted that he would always be there, waiting for her return with the same amount of love that he had blessed her with before everything. But how could he?

How could he forgive and forget so easily? How could he move past the fact that she had shared such an intimate part of herself with his brother? How could he love the person who came into his life and destroyed his relationship with his twin and left him alone to deal with the aftermath?

It seemed impossible. She couldn’t even give herself the same amount of grace.

The soft bell of the shop’s door opening was almost unnoticeable, but the gruff sound of her boss’s voice was what drew her out of her thoughts and brought her back to reality. She heard his greeting and a mumbled “thank you” from the customer that entered, causing her to fumble with the note as she stuffed it back in her apron.

She hurried to grab one of the books she was supposed to put away, much too focused on looking busy that she didn’t notice the customer getting closer and closer to where she stood.

She glanced back to the empty spots on the bookshelf that awaiting their fulfillment with the new novels in the box before her, checking multiple times that the tag matched the title of the book in her hand. Her frazzled state made her second-guess herself, but eventually, she was convinced that she had the correct placement. Just as she raised her arm to set the book down, though, she heard the soft sound of footsteps growing louder behind her, the owner of the noise clearing their throat as they approached.

“Excuse me? Ma’am?”

The voice caused her to pause her movement, stalling once more from getting the task completed. Despite the last syllable being more pointed and sarcastic than one would normally use when acknowledging an employee, it sounded inviting, familiar. But it couldn’t be-

“Could you help me find a book?” Finally, a full sentence to confirm her suspicions, a wide grin already forming on her lips. “Maybe one on how to text your best friend back?”

A sigh of relief and a quick turn later, she was met with Sam’s bright-eyed expression, a kind smirk adorning his features. Somehow, he looked different than the last time she had seen him, the day feeling like years prior.

The book fell from Syd’s grasp in a flash, and without an ounce of hesitation, she wrapped her arms around his neck. She strained to keep her balance with her body stretching to meet his, but he welcomed the embrace, sighing as his arms enveloped her to return the hug and hold her close to him.

“You-” she spoke into his neck, laughing in disbelief. “-are such an ass, Sammy.”

A soft chuckle rumbled from his chest and landed into the strands of her hair. “I missed you, too, birdie.”

—————————————

Table For Two Taglist: @joshkiszkas @haleylovesgvf @poofyloofy @hoeforstevienicks @gretavanfleas @myownparadise96 @safarithong @tearsofbri @lvnterninthenight @gretavansteph @angelbabyyy99 @sammiejane22 @doodle417 @way-to-go-lad @fan-girl-97 @weightofdreams-gvf @ashabeannn @jenna-gvf @callmebymym @sammyslappers @gretavancreep @streamingcolors-gvf @ascendingtostardust @gretavanbitches @pinkcardinalsuitsam @josiee-gvf @shesawomaninadream @niallsboxx @luverleaver @jakekiszkasbestie @Dakotadovato @interstellar-shores @freckled-wonder @richjaaasss @theweightofjake @josh-iamyour-mama @ageoffleet @brinlygvf @fight-the-fire @pippin-jay @writingcold @daniellefersblog @jmkiszka @thecoldwind @gardensgatedaisy @seventieswhore @lo-pe-ak @Gertavanfeet @dolceacquario @thetroublegetssoloud71 @Bbkpisces95

If you’d like to join the taglist, just send an ask or fill out the form above! If your name didn’t work, let us know and make sure to check out your privacy settings!

54 notes · View notes

welightthefire · 2 years

Text

Table For Two ~ Part Twelve

In collaboration with @allieboop

Jake Kiszka x OC x Josh Kiszka

Warnings: angst, mentions of eating habits, mentions of blood, anxiety (lmk if there are more)

Word Count: ~6.5k

taglist // playlist // masterpost

A/N: again, a big apology on missing yesterday’s update and thank you for your grace!

Part Twelve

The greenery seemed brighter than before. The wind seemed cooler. Sun seemed brighter. The expanse was almost unrecognizable.

Yet, as she stood with her toes at the edge of the rock, she witnessed an eagle fly in the distance. And with that, she knew. She didn’t know how she got there, but she knew exactly where she was standing.

Josh’s spot.

It almost felt eerie. Not just being in a space that resembled and reminded her of him, but being there without him by her side. She had done it once before, but now, after everything, it felt… off. Something felt wrong.

He should be here.

But even that felt wrong. Simply thinking of him, being curious of his whereabouts, wishing she were sharing this moment with him. It was wrong. Even now, she couldn’t seem to make up her mind.

She still hadn’t learned from her mistakes.

She could hear the slap of skin on skin, the crack of bones breaking, the hot, venomous words bouncing off of the walls of her home. She was reliving the nightmare of her own creation, but in a much more relaxing, tranquil environment. She was there, without having to face it. Yet again avoiding the consequences.

She almost laughed at the irony.

Then, she heard another voice. One that was calmer, but just as hurt. One that was raspy from tears rather than shouting. Softer, tentative, yet still full of forced poise.

“Slip,” it called out.

She sighed, feeling a wave of calm flash over her. For a moment, she could focus on something other than the insults being repeated in her mind. She smiled at the memory of him, content with just hearing the nickname he saved for her and her alone.

“Baby, please.”

The plea sounded too close, too real. She had written everything off as her imagination’s hyperrealistic abilities, but this, this was different.

She whipped her head around, and as soon as she did, she saw the voice's owner, right there in front of her.

“Jake,” she breathed.

“Hi, baby,” he returned softly. There was a pained smile that tipped his lips, barely making a crease in his wet cheeks. He was crying. He was upset.

Other than his obvious state of distress, he looked the same as he had that night - black jeans, white tee, all without his denim button-up. That’s when she noticed her own appearance. She was wearing the button-up.

In fact, that was all she was wearing, save for a pair of cotton panties that were more comfortable than cute.

She felt exposed, vulnerable. But she was there with Jake. She didn’t have to worry.

“I miss you,” he spoke hesitantly.

But I’m here now, she wanted to say. I’m here. You don’t have to miss me, because I’m here. But the words wouldn’t come to her. No matter how many times she opened and closed her mouth, no matter how many times she wet her lips or swallowed, she couldn’t speak. So she settled for the only gesture her body allowed her to do- hug him.

Her arms were wrapped around his neck in an instant. Her body leaned into his as she teetered on the tips of her toes, his hands resting on her hips to steady her, but never returning the embrace. She could smell him, feel his hair in her face, his nose pressing gently into the skin covering her cheek. His breathing was uneven, staggered and unstable.

At some point, she had closed her eyes, letting herself live in this moment here with him. A moment she didn’t think she’d ever get again. A gift from the gods, one might say.

“Why?”

The question didn’t come from the man in her arms, but it was just as familiar. She knew he was there, watching them, observing their embrace, scrutinizing their intimacy.

Jake could feel his presence, too. His hands seemed to tense up, his grip tightening as he held her to him. He held his breath, a choked whimper contained within his throat.

“Why?” The voice repeated. “Why, why, why-?”

Syd opened her eyes, hoping that her attention would stop the relentless questioning. But it didn’t. Even when she looked right in Josh’s eyes from over his brother’s shoulder.

It was sickening to look at him. Even without the persisting feeling of guilt that she was experiencing, seeing him was nauseating. He looked frail, as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks. There were dark bags under his eyes. His hair a mess. A bright red trail of blood cascading from his right nostril.

But he didn’t seem worried about any portion of his appearance. He was only concerned with asking a simple question that she didn’t know the answer to.

She buried her head into Jake’s shoulder, hoping that this version of his twin would disappear if she stopped looking. That his tenacity would lessen if his voice seemed muffled. That bringing herself closer to Jake, she’d forget any and all feelings she had for anyone else.

“You can leave, if you need to,” Jake spoke.

She still couldn’t speak, but she wanted nothing more than to scream at him. To tell him to stop giving her an out that she didn’t want. An out that she didn’t deserve. She didn’t want to leave. But all she could do was shake her head.

“You can,” he promised.

Was he paying attention? Was he so stupid that he couldn’t see that she needed him? That above all else, no matter how much shit she had gotten herself into, he was everything she wanted?

But Josh was getting louder, he seemed to be inching closer and closer. His repetition becoming faster, more consistent. She could feel the fear rising within her, and she tried to hold on to Jake tighter to will him away.

They needed to get away from Josh. His body language, everything about him, seemed dangerous, threatening. They needed to leave, but standing at the edge of the rock she had let her feet dangle over all that time ago, she knew there was nowhere to run. Especially when her foot almost slipped off of it completely.

And when he got within arm’s length of Jake, his voice seemed to surround her. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t speak. All she could do was hold on to the man she was in love with, hoping that if they were to go down, they would go down together.

And after a quick shove from Josh to Jake’s shoulder, that’s exactly what happened.

—

Syd sat upright in Sam’s bed, her legs crossed. The late morning sun cast slated shadows upon the wrinkled comforter as she absentmindedly pushed the scrambled eggs around the ceramic plate with the fork held lazily between her fingers. She couldn’t stop thinking about her dream, how insanely real it was. How vivid and remarkable every scent, sensation, and emotion could be felt, even in the few short hours after she had woken.

The breeze that ruffled her hair and kissed her bare legs.

The sunlight casting a perfect golden glow over the valley below.

The scent of Jake’s hair, the warmth of his skin, the rumble of his chest against hers as he spoke.

The fear and uncertainty that coursed through them, between them, from Josh’s presence.

It felt as if she had found an alternate universe within her dreamscape, something completely terrifying, yet somehow grounding at the same time. Jake’s presence held her captive and kept her mind at ease while Josh’s seemed so foreign. It wasn’t him. It was as if he was pure rage, betrayal, heartbreak, and hurt personified.

There was no light in his eyes, no comfort to be found there. The normal peaceful serenity of His Spot was lost to the darkness he exuded. The heavy, sinking feeling weighed Syd down as she stared back into the eyes of the ghost of him, hoping and praying that the conflicting comfort of being wrapped up in Jake’s arms would be enough to save her from the dread she felt.

She felt silly, still thinking about a dream. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t important. She should’ve pushed it to the back of her mind - soon to be forgotten about - as soon as she woke up. But what else could she do? Think about the headache that the previous day had left her with? Focus on the dull ache between her legs that served as a reminder of what had transpired between her and Jake, what she had thrown away in less than a day’s time?

The thought made her sick to her stomach, unable to take a single bite of the food her friend had thoughtfully prepared for her. It would be rude to leave it untouched, but she couldn’t bring herself to do anything other than stare at it while her mind wandered.

How was she supposed to face them? Things wouldn’t be the same as they were before. She would be a fool to think that there was even the slightest possibility. The looks on their faces from the day before paired with the indescribable expressions they displayed in her dream, it was almost too much to bear.

The anxiety threatened to creep up and consume her again, but the soft creak of the door gently drew her attention elsewhere. Sam’s shaggy head of hair poked in, his warm smile bringing a feeling of comfort to her racing heart and mind.

“Hey, was just gonna grab your plate for you if you’re done,” he spoke softly, gesturing to the ceramic in her hands. He kept his distance, almost as if he knew she was still in an apprehensive state.

She looked down and shrugged before offering the still-full plate, her eyes not meeting his as she responded. “You can take it, thank you.”

He opened the door wider as he stepped inside the room, but he paused once he got a better look at her plate.

“You’ve barely eaten,” he noted. There was a sense of slight disappointment in his voice, though not in a way of criticism. More dismay than anything.

“Not hungry.”

He sighed. “You didn’t even eat the strawberries I sliced for you. I almost cut my fingers off to feed you!”

He knew his feigned guilt trip brought a lighthearted atmosphere to the room as soon as a soft giggle escaped Syd’s lips. She set the plate back in her lap in defeat, but she never reached for the fork.

“Can I sit with you? I wanna make sure you eat something today, birdie.”

The nickname made her heart feel warm. It had felt like forever since he used the name for her, something he had coined from their first meeting all those years ago.

“What was that?” She asked with an incredulous laugh, her half smile as genuine as it could be as she glanced at him.

“The nickname? You know, like th-“

“No, I know that, but… why?”

Sam shrugged at her questioning, a smug smile on his lips. Her words were far from being as interrogative as she meant for them to be. “Because it's you.” He gestured to the plate again, moving across the space to sit at the edge of the bed. “Eat. I need someone to tell me how good of a cook I am.”

Syd shot him a glare before rolling her eyes and taking the fork in her hands again. His high spirits and jesting nature slowly began to bring her out of the funk she was in.

As she ate, Sam broke the relative silence occasionally to show whatever funny meme or interesting topic he happened to scroll upon, checking the various apps as if they were the newspaper. She listened to him no matter the subject, but she couldn’t help but feel distracted because of the elephant in the room. Everything unsaid was gnawing at her, and she knew she’d have to tell Sam about yesterday’s events eventually.

Soon, she returned to the same act of pushing the remaining bits of food around with her fork. Her thoughts had returned once again, and although she was proud of herself for eating breakfast, she couldn’t push her feelings away long enough to eat anymore.

They had settled into a more consistent state of quiet, doing very little to distract her from the inevitable. She sighed, the breath being much louder than she had intended.

“I should probably… talk. About what happened.”

Sam’s head snapped up to her, his eyes a little wider than they normally would be. He hadn’t expected her to talk about things, especially not so soon. He certainly hoped she didn’t think that was why he chose to sit with her. “Syd, you really don’t have to-“

“I do, though,” she cut him off quickly, afraid that she’d let his words convince her that she could avoid this for longer than she already had. “You need to know before you see them. Before I see them.”

Sam only nodded in response before locking his phone and tossing it to the side, giving her his full attention.

She took this as a sign to continue. “J-Jake came over after work on Saturday.” She kicked herself mentally for already stammering over her words, the mere thought of Jake making her feel butterflies.

“Yeah? How’d that go?” As if he didn’t know.

She felt her cheeks run hot at the teasing quality in his voice. She kept her eyes glued to the piece of egg she was pushing and pulling across her plate. “It went well. Really fucking well. He told me he liked me. We… kissed.”

He scoffed, barely muttering, “Looks like you did a little more than kiss.”

Suddenly reminded of the marks Jake had made on her, she blushed from embarrassment, shifting some under Sam’s gaze. She tried to hide the smile that accompanied such fond memories, speaking breathily. “Yeah, we did.”

Although she wasn’t looking at him, Syd could sense the smile Sam wore as well, pleased that things had gone well and that his friend confirmed his curiosities. “Carry on, then,” he instructed, quickly speaking again to correct himself. “Not about the sex. I don’t need to know that.”

With that, she let out a genuine, yet brief laugh. “You’re stupid, and I hate you.”

“We both know that’s not true,” Sam chided playfully. “Now, tell me.”

After another eye roll, Syd continued. “He cooked dinner, stayed the night. I woke up before him, but I fell asleep again after-“

Sam cleared his throat dramatically, already knowing exactly where things were going. His facetious gesture making her huff another laugh.

“Anyways,” she continued. “When I got up he wasn’t… there.” Syd paused, the familiar state of panic starting to rise back to her throat at the memories coming so quickly to her. “I was so scared he left. I was afraid he woke up after everything and regretted it and just left.”

Sam noticed her rambling, and recognized it as a sign that she was in her own head. The longer she stayed there, she’d ruin herself. He knew that. Rejection, especially after being in such a vulnerable state, was one of her biggest worries. He hoped that reaching out and placing a hand on her ankle would do an adequate job at grounding her while she spoke without hounding her with contact.

“But I heard him in the living room. I thought he was watching TV or something but when I got there… Josh was there.”

“Oh.” The word wasn’t meant to come out, but the realization of why she was so distraught hit him. She didn’t just have to deal with both of them, she had to do so in person. In front of one another.

“He was yelling. The things he said… they were horrible. He was so mad.” As she spoke, she never realized that she was mutilating the food still in front of her, poking and prodding the fruit, stabbing and smushing the eggs. It gave her something to task herself with while she recounted the nightmare of a confrontation she endured. “And I know it’s my fault. I deserved every word, and I probably deserved worse, but-”

A breath shuddered out of her, reminding her to take a moment to inhale. She did so shakily, whimpering a choked “Jake, he-”

“He didn’t know,” Sam finished for her.

“No,“ she confirmed. A stray tear fell down her cheeks, landing right beside the mush that used to be her breakfast. She huffed a frustrated sigh and set the plate to the side, which Sam took gently and set on the table on the other side of the bed.

“I hadn’t told him. I hadn’t told either of them, and Jake tried to understand but Josh just kept saying these awful things and-” Syd could do very little but bury her face in her hands, the images, sounds, and emotions all coming back to her. Much more vividly this time. “He hit him, Sam. Jake hit him.”

“Jake hit Josh?”

She could only nod while she tried to gather herself. She thought she could hear Sam mutter a faint “holy shit” under his breath, showing just how shocked he was. She tried to continue before he could say anything else.

“And I just- I went to my room. T-that’s when I called you. I packed my stuff, and I came here.”

“Where did they go?”

“They were still there when I left, I dunno.” Her breathing became ragged, labored, but Sam’s hand squeezing her leg reminded her to take a moment, gather her thoughts, and wait to speak when she was ready. “Josh was still yelling, and Jake was trying to get me to stay, and I feel so fucking bad-”

“Sydney,” Sam cut her off. It was rare that he used her full first name, only utilizing it when he was most sincere. “It’s gonna be okay. You-” he emphasized the word. “You’re gonna be okay.”

She placed her hands back in her lap, reverting to the action of pressing her nails to her palm and taking deep breaths. She was trying not to become frustrated with his optimism, but the burning pangs of guilt vexed her from the inside out. She didn’t deserve his grace, his encouragement. She had hurt his brothers, she had caused what seemed to be a falling out. He should be angry with her, just as upset with her as she was with herself.

It was almost as if he could read her thoughts as he continued. “What you did- well, you know it’s not right. Even as your best friend, I can’t excuse that. But it happened, and somehow, you’ll move past this. They’ve fought before, they’ll get over themselves.”

“Sam, you don't understand. I-”

“I do understand. I swear I do.” He interrupted, this time effectively silencing her. His hand retreated from her leg as he offered a small smile of sympathy. “Thank you for telling me.”

Syd let the silence that followed hang in the air for a moment. Her voice was raspy, reserved as she tried to bring the conversation to a close. “I wanted you to know. Especially before work.”

He nodded, appreciating the gesture and her willingness to open up to him, something that had seemed hard for her to do at the beginning of all of this. “I can’t wait to see how messed up Josh’s face is.”

“Sam,” she warns dryly. Another hint of a smile, another win for Sam.

“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled, knowing she couldn’t resist his humor. “Maybe now he won’t snore when he sleeps.”

A laugh came out in a huff, and she dropped her head to hide her amusement. It was brief before she returned to her earnestness, finally making herself look him in the eyes. “Please don’t say anything to them. I don’t… want you to be dragged into it also.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “You know I’m already in the middle of it, right?”

“Well, just don’t say anything. Please?”

He scoffed, his words seemingly skeptical. “Whatever you say, birdie.”

The nickname made her smile again, much bigger this time, no matter how condescending it made him sound. She was able to relax some, feeling at least a little bit better about seeing the twins in a few hours. She was by no means confident in how she’d manage their presence or navigate their interactions, but she was comforted by Sam’s friendship. Even if she had no one else, she at least had him to lean on. Even if his taunting and teasing made him somewhat insufferable.

“Also, I couldn’t help but notice you only brought one shoe with you. Are you expecting to just hop around on one foot all day or…?”

His satisfied grin gave away just how proud he was of the jest, as if he had been waiting all morning to poke fun at her.

She shot him a glare, cursing him in her head. “I’m going back to get the other one,” she said pointedly. “I dropped it when I was leaving.”

“Okay, good.” He shimmied off of the bed, grabbing the plate she had finished eating from. He turned to walk out of the room, throwing one last joke over his shoulder. “You’re good at your job, but you’re certainly not that good.”

–

Getting in the car and leaving Sam’s was difficult. Simply changing into her work clothes, taking off Jake’s shirt, was hard enough as it was. She wasn’t sure how she could go back to the emptiness of her home. A place that was her solace, her comfort space, was now full of memories she would never wish to forget, yet always feel guilt for remembering.

She tried bargaining with herself, constantly reminding herself that she’d see Delta again, although briefly. She’d get to nuzzle against him, let his purrs and warm fur ground her before she had to go to work. However, the realization that she had left him so suddenly, and overnight for that matter, made her guilt return.

So, she simply drove. No music. No thoughts. Nothing. Focused on the ride and making the journey home, getting ready for work, and finishing out her day one step at a time. But right before she turned on her street, she saw it.

She thought she was hallucinating.

Or that maybe she was still trapped in her dream from this morning.

Both options seemed much more believable than what she was actually witnessing.

Jake’s car leaving her driveway.

Had he stopped by to check on her? To see if she had come back home? Had he been there all night and was only just leaving? Why on earth would he still want to be there? To have anything to do with her?

Syd could feel her hands gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter, her knuckles nearly turning white, before she released the breath she had been holding. The majority of her tension going with it. He was leaving. She wouldn’t have to face him just yet.

By the time she made the turn, he had been long out of her line of sight, using the road opposite from her to exit. Leaving her view as quickly as he had entered it.

It was probable that she had put her car in park and killed the ignition much too fast. She might have even yanked her keys from the switch too aggressively. All of her movements and senses felt as if they were on overdrive, to the point where her legs were wobbly as she ascended the steps that led to her front door.

Her hands shook as she fumbled for her house key, and it took a substantial amount of time and attempts to turn the lock. She took a deep breath, preparing herself to enter her home for the first time since things fell apart. What she and Jake hadn’t cleaned after dinner on Saturday, she knew would be a mess. She could only imagine the state of disarray that her bedroom would be in.

But when she opened the front door, she wasn’t faced with the overwhelming chaos that she expected. In fact, save for her own memories of the previous day, there were no signs that anything out of the ordinary had occurred. The area was quiet, clean, calm.

There were details that she knew hadn’t been present before she left. The blankets and throw pillows were placed neatly on the sofa. A new floral scent filled the air, perhaps from the candle that sat on the counter, a small wisp of smoke still streaming from the wick that had been blown out. Even the garbage had been taken out, a new bag placed in the can, its only occupant an empty cup of yogurt.

Delta.

Syd realized the feline hadn’t greeted her when she walked in, but upon seeing the trash, she knew why. She could hear the soft sounds of his purring trilling from where his food usually was, and she saw him hunched over a small platter, busy cleaning the dish in front of him. She smiled at the thought of Jake feeding him the spoonful of yogurt that night, but again, felt a sense of remorse that she would no longer have the privilege of seeing it again. Of seeing him again.

She sighed to herself, moving to the dreaded space of her bedroom so she could throw her backpack on the bed. She decided she would keep her head down, drop off her things, and leave as soon as she got there, completely ignoring the mess that she’d have to clean up once she got home. But again, she was pleasantly surprised.

Her bed was made, her clothes - once tossed haphazardly - now folded neatly at the edge of her mattress, her floor clean. Once again, there was no sign that anything abnormal had happened. There was a sense of comfort brought back to her space, despite what had transpired. Jake had done that for her.

She breathed in the atmosphere, taking her time to acclimate to each of the distinct emotions she felt with the memories that persisted while in the room. Love when she had spent the night entangled with Jake. Completion upon resolving the longing feelings of infatuation. Sadness and despair when she was packing her things to leave it all behind. She had to return to the sense of normality that existed before her feelings for Jake. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be able to.

As the feelings of dejection returned, she resumed her original plan. Get your things, go to work, she told herself. From afar, she could see the singular shoe she had dropped at the doorway, now placed neatly near her desk chair. A bright pink sticky note was attached to it, drawing her attention as soon as it was in her peripheral.

She gently set her backpack against the pillows of her bed before walking to retrieve the shoe from its place on the floor. And as she got closer, she noticed a string of words on the note, scribbled poorly.

“ Your glass slipper <3 “

The message was small, fruitless even, but it made her heart burn with love and regret all over again. He had gone out of his way, even after learning about her affair with Josh, to poke fun at her. He had gotten his heart shattered, but he still strived to make her smile. A final display of his affection for the girl who broke him.

She’d never find anyone like him again, but she welcomed her punishment. If the memory of Jake’s affection was all she’d have, she’d be glad with just that.

–

Syd was thankful that she had told Sam about what happened. The weight of the situation had lessened, and she felt as if she had some form of support. Especially once she arrived at work.

She didn’t see either of the twins for the majority of her shift, thankfully. Sam made sure that she didn’t have to interact with them if she didn’t wish to, taking any and all of her order tickets to the service window as they came. She was left with the task of greeting and checking in with the occupants of her section, the job only slightly more grueling than usual.

She was able to push the pains of her headache to the back of her consciousness, but the stiffness of her thighs and hips was becoming harder and harder to ignore. Each step and stride reminded her of Jake, his hands on her, the passion they had shared together.

She wanted to see him. As hard as she knew it would be, as undeserving as she was, she wished she could be alone with him for just a moment. Tucked away from everyone else and able to have a second of peace.

But she had thrown that away. She had to remind herself that she had messed up, potentially lost whatever affection he had garnered for her. She’d never get that back.

Seeing him would only confirm her loss. Would he even speak? Look at her? She didn’t think she could endure his detachment, his disappointment in her. She couldn’t look him in the eyes, no matter how much she wanted to search his beautiful browns for the love she usually found. Not conversing with him seemed to be her best option, so she accepted Sam’s offers to deliver her orders.

It was working well, even hours into the somewhat slow Monday night. But that was before Sam took his break.

She only hoped that she wouldn’t have to walk to the window or enter the kitchen for any reason. There were only a few people in her section, which is why he opted to take his break at the time he did. She didn’t think she’d need anything from the twins until Sam was back.

Karmic justice, she presumed.

“Just the slice of pie?” She forced a cheerful smile as she glanced from the pad of paper in her hands.

The older couple nodded to one another, returning her smile with soft ones of their own. Syd had almost regretted asking them if they wanted dessert, knowing she had already dug herself a hole as soon as they began to mull over the question. Thankfully, with such a small request, it should be quick, painless. Right?

“I’ll be right back with that, then,” she responded, anxiety seeping in as soon as she took the step to turn and face her direction of travel.

She tried to focus on her breathing and placing one foot in front of the other as she rehearsed what she’d say once she arrived at her destination. Speaking with Josh, even in a professional setting, seemed nearly impossible. She’d simply hope that Jake wasn’t busy, that he would be the one she had to talk to.

As she approached the window, she saw his familiar head of chestnut hair tied back in a braid. He was wiping down one of the countertops, and she watched as his arm flexed and straightened with the task. Her breath hitched, anxiety still prevalent, but now with a sense of longing. God, she missed him.

As if she had said the thought out loud, Jake turned around and looked up at her, his expression softening as soon as they made eye contact.

He seemed to let out a shaky breath, and they shared a silent conversation with one another before she tore her eyes away from him.

“Hey,” she started softly, sliding the slip of paper across the cold surface to him.

He picked up the ticket with his left hand and studied it much longer than necessary. She chanced a glance up at him right as he swallowed, admiring how his Adam’s apple bobbed and how he clenched his jaw right afterward.

“Just the one?” He muttered as he read the scribbled words.

His tone, his body language, everything seemed standoffish. He was on guard, and it only made her feel that much smaller as she stood in front of him. She was silently thankful for the barrier between them.

After nodding, she backed away from the counter. She knew he expected her to wait on the pie so she could deliver it to the table, but she felt too close. Too involved. Her only alternative was to give him all the physical space that he might need.

Jake turned around without another word, moving to retrieve the dessert as soon as he could. In his absence, Syd could feel the burning gaze of another individual. And as she searched for the perpetrator, she was met with a sight that caused her stomach to drop.

She didn’t know what she had expected when making eye contact with Josh, but his swollen eye and bruised face made her feel queasy. Even in his injured state, he looked as if he were criticizing her, scolding her for simply interacting with Jake while trying to do her job.

She worked to escape his stare, turning her body slightly so she didn’t have to face him, squeezing her palms and twisting her rings to distract herself. She even began to count the scuff marks on her shoes. Anything to get her mind off of him.

It wasn’t long before Jake returned with the small dish garnering the slice of pie, but his return only made her discomfort worse. He was holding the plate with his left hand, his right hand only serving to steady his grip. The most he could do with a hand wrapped in gauze.

“Here you go, Slip,” he said as he set the dessert on the counter, the nickname surprising them both. If she wasn’t looking at him, she wouldn’t have noticed how his body froze for a moment after using the term. Something that used to be so normal for them both, was now something that only brought more guilt to her conscience.

That’s when she made her decision.

After muttering a quick thanks, she took the pie into her shaking hands, scurrying through the diner with one thought, and one thought alone.

You can leave if you need to.

The words from her dream, from Jake, rang through her mind. Was it a premonition? Unlikely. But it was enough of a correlation to make her panic rise. The only conclusion was the fact that she needed to go.

She didn’t usually like to go on autopilot when dealing with customers, especially nice patrons that she conversed well with. But this was different.

Syd didn’t remember making it back to the table to set down the order. She didn’t remember the nice old lady thanking her countless times over, including a story about how it was her favorite dessert as a child and how she loved coming to the diner to order it. She didn’t remember smiling and graciously taking the small bills that the woman tried to hand her in gratitude. She didn’t remember searching each nook and cranny to find Sam, only realizing where she was as soon as she stood in front of him.

“Sam, I have to leave,” she deadpanned. She tried to swallow the anxiety down, keep it buried until she finished the conversation.

Sam glanced up from the orange flame he held in front of his unlit cigarette. He smiled at her, gladly acknowledging her presence. “Why? Delta set the house on fire or something?”

Upon noticing her silence - and her quivering frame - he completely threw all jokes out of the window. His smile faded, and he spoke slowly. “Syd, what’s happening?”

“I can’t be here. With them.”

“Have they said anything?”

She shook her head frantically, tears already threatening to fall. “No, but I can just… tell. Their silence says enough. They don’t want me here.”

“You don’t know that,” he defended. He searched her expression, finding nothing to work with. She was set in this decision, there was nothing he could do. He was frustrated with the losing battle he was fighting, and he was desperately not trying to become angry at his friend’s impulsiveness. “So what? You’re just gonna leave? For how long?”

“Sam. I’m leaving.” She tried to emphasize the word, knowing he wasn’t grasping what she was saying. “I love this job, but… I can’t be here.”

He stopped, realization setting in. All potential hurt, anger, was replaced with what felt like fear. He was losing his best friend. “Where are you gonna go?”

She began to untie the apron around her, still shaking her head. “I don’t know, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

Sam barely relaxed with her response. She was leaving, but at least he’d know where she went. He only hoped it wouldn’t be too far.

“And them?” He questioned her as carefully as possible, but she didn’t give any hint of acknowledgment. She was silent, avoiding the query as best as she could. “They’ll ask about you, Syd.”

“Let them,” she snapped, a little more harshly than she intended. “I just- I can’t-” She sighed at her failing words, trying to quell the frustrations and tears, telling herself that this is what was best. She needed to end this chapter of her life. “You’re not gonna tell them anything about me.”

Sam immediately became more cynical than his normal, happy-go-lucky attitude would let him, and he shook his head in doubt. “I don’t know if I can do that-”

“You can, and you will,” she said sternly, biting back a weak sob that threatened to escape. She softened, remembering that this was her best friend who had done nothing wrong. In fact, he was the only stable factor in all of this. He deserved some grace. “Please?”

A meek nod was his only response as he broke eye contact with her. He dropped the cigarette he hadn’t taken a single drag from, stomping it out on the pavement below him. He watched as he twisted it into the concrete much more than necessary.

Syd desperately tried to fill the silence, speaking again to hopefully prompt a response from him. “You can tell Danny that I’m okay, but I don’t want him to be in the middle of this.”

Nothing.

“For now, I’m gonna tell him there was an emergency and that I need to go home. After that, I… I don’t know.”

After she finished, Sam sat for a beat longer, still staring at his shoes in defeat before finally whispering a final question. “You promise to stay in touch?”

Before she knew what she was doing, she instinctively flung her arms around his neck, enveloping him in a tight, sincere hug. “Promise,” she whispered into his chest. She felt him return the embrace, holding onto her tightly as she sobbed into him. “I can’t lose you too.”

—————————

Table For Two Taglist: @joshkiszkas @haleylovesgvf @loofypoofy @hoeforstevienicks @gretavanfleas @myownparadise96 @satanplayshisfluteforhim @tearsofbri @lvnterninthenight @gretavansteph @angelqueen99 @sammiejane22 @doodle417 @way-to-go-lad @fan-girl-97 @weightofdreams-gvf @ashabeannn @jenna-gvf @callmebymym @sammyslappers @gretavancreep @streamingcolors-gvf @ascendingtostardust @gretavanbitches @pinkcardinalsuitsam @josiee-gvf @shesawomaninadream @niallsboxx @luverleaver @jakekiszkasbestie @dakotadovato @interstellar-shores @freckled-wonder @richjaaasss @theweightofjake @josh-iamyour-mama @ageoffleet @brinlygvf @fight-the-fire @chroniclesofperegrine @writingcold @daniellefersblog @jmkiszka @thecoldwind @gardensgatedaisy @seventieswhore @lo-pe-ak @Gertavanfeet @dolceacquario

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, click on the form linked above or send a message/ask!

64 notes · View notes