#Thanos at least left the planets alone when he was done

[shieldagentnatasharomanoff]

One last Chance to say Goodbye

October 3rd, 2022

Prompt: A hairs breadth from death (”Say Goodbye”)

Summary: Natasha faces her death in sacrifice for the soulstone but there’s still a spark left in her and she can’t just leave her friends without at least saying goodbye (Set in my RP Magic Fam verse)

Readers: @strxngemxgick @cherryfinolahobbes

“It’s okay.” A whisper hanging in the air between them as if to reassure herself and him at the same time. They had been through a lifetime of hurt together. A lifetime of battles, of fight, of love and loss and victory and even when facing the this prospect the tears wouldn’t come. He would be safe. This was her sacrifice to make. A fix point in time, no matter how much they would try to change it this place was a constant in history. In every universe this was how her life would end.

Hanging on a cliff, far away from home, far away from her friends, from the people she called family on a strange planet with a purple black sky. Storm clouds gathered above them, reflecting in the eyes of the person holding on to her, but she only had a quiet smile left in her before finally letting go. This was the best thing she could do after all the pain she caused.

Osaka, the children’s ward, Barcelona, New York, Sokovia, Ultron, Thanos, the strife that had come between her friends, a tower in the middle of New York, the broken universe tucked away in the shadows, the warmth of a kitchen in the middle of New York. Her life had been compiled of blood, more then she thought anyone could ever spill, and joy, more then she ever deserved. She was a jigsaw puzzle of all the people she had ever met, of riddles and magic and experiences. A good life lived, despite of her sins. At least as good as Natasha Romanoff knew how.

Her only regret was not getting to say goodbye. Not having the chance to reach across the multiverse and wrap her arms around the people she cared about one last time.

Natasha remembered falling, wind rushing in her ears, Clint blurring out of sight as tears started to glaze over her eyes, staining her cheeks hot as they spilled over. Orbs of light dancing in front of her eyes as she tried to blink them away. A golden thread stretched out between them, crystalizing as they formed a pattern. It was like glass fogging over, like a breaking point in a mirror, cracking, shards fanning out around her like the air split and froze back together all connected through strands of liquid gold and orange warmth.

The soulstone, she realized. Coming to claim it’s prize. It was a good payment, really. Her life had been overflowing with guilt and pain of other people, if this sacrifice could ease their suffering even by a fraction, she was willing to pay it. What was the weight of the world against one broken woman, regardless of how many people she loved and that had learned to love her.  

The air continued to crack and shatter and melt back together, encasing her. Hadn’t she promised them to fight? To find a way to say goodbye? Didn’t she owe them at least that much? But how? Panic filled her heart and cleared her head as the crystal encased her, imprisoned her. How could she just leave them without as much as a gentle word. Would they be fine? They had each other, of course. No one would leave the other all alone, but what if they pulled back into themselves again, what if they decided to just abandon the ties they had forged? Her breath hitched, trapped inside her lungs, feeling like it was crushing her from the inside. What if this was the last time she could ever take a breath.

Natasha opened her eyes, a flash of silver in the dark. There was still a thread left. This was her life, her soul, her sacrifice. She willingly gave her life, but it would be on her own terms the way she had always done things. This probably went against all the rules of the multiverse, but in the face of a life ending, why not bend the rules a little? She focused on the line of energy, more and more tendrils breaking free, winding outwards pushing against the golden prison manifesting around her. She channeled all of the emotion, all of the pain and regret into it, weaving a spell against the will of the universe itself pulling from every thread that connected her to the people she loved. A marble clutched between her fingers.

“So, you did start to learn how to play this game?” A voice broke through the void, suddenly Natasha could feel a large pair of eyes on her… watching her.

“I’ve been watching this story unfold in so many universes. Each unique, each different, but I hoped at least you had learned. It looks like I was right. I can’t interfere, but I won’t keep you. Go, say your goodbyes, but be warned. The soul stone isn’t patient. You can’t stretch a moment out forever.”

A fair warning. All she could do was nod as the factettes of the crystal around her started to display familiar scenery, each connected to her with a silver thread. Her connections coming to life in front of her.

An apartment with a purple sofa and a golden retriever curled up on it; The spacious deck with sliding glass doors of the tower; A warm library alight with floating orbs illuminating a reading space; A cluttered study that held several tomes and interesting looking trinkets; A spacious kitchen with warm, wooden panels, curiously named cookbooks stacked against the walls and the smell of buttery pastry baking in the oven; A purple hued grassland set aglow by a strange tree, a sofa nearly overgrown by luscious greenery and a giant nest like structure near both, the shadows there seemed to move on their own, pull together as if they noticed the connection.

Places… no, people she needed to visit in the fracture of time that remained to her. Hands reached out, pressing against the panel with the moving shadows first. There was a crack, facets of reality breaking apart around her, mirroring her hands, her fingers, eyes, and face, not breaking apart around her, splintering, fracturing her very soul.

Magic always came at a price, even borrowed one. So, Natasha fractured willingly, propelling herself through the multiverse to reach the people she loved so dearly to give them what comfort she could offer. One last time.

#Verse: House of Magic - Magic Fam #the sorcerer and the assassine: a world less lonely #whumptober2022 #death tw #sacrifice tw #marvel fic #Natasha Romanoff fic #Natasha Romanoff #avengers endgame #avengers fic

[worstloki]

You have the opportunity dropkick ONE (1) into the sun—

- Odin

- Thor

- Thanos

- Space Lizards

Who’s getting yeeted?

I have enough feet to kick both Thanos and Odin thanks.

#one? #just the ONE??? #they BOTH slaughtered entire planets and then acted as if they were noble for it #Thanos #I'm picking thanos #at least Odin only messed up three kids and reframed an entire planet to be space racist-xenophobists #Thanos at least left the planets alone when he was done #then again #Odin may have reformed but never apologised #BUt Thanos died completely unapologetic #do you see the issues here #I pick Thanos #Odin's so old he'd drop from odinsleep when I yeet Thanos away anyway

[blossomingimagines]

Of A Broken Heart

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader

Word Count: 5,339

Summary: You never thought you would see her again. Never thought you would feel your heart skip a beat because of her emerald green gaze again. Never thought that you would let her back in. You also never thought that you would have to think about planning your brother’s funeral either. (Set after and during (sort of) Infinity War.)

Notes: Everyone requested a second part of Requiem... so I thought I would make one. I hope that you all like it. (Also the reader was under the assumption that Tony had returned. She wasn’t aware that Tony wouldn’t have a way back.)

Tag List: @username23345 // @stephanieromanoff // @ima-gi--na-tion // @chickenhavewisdom // @hi-i-1​ (I’m not sure if some of you wanted to be tagged but you mentioned a part two in Requiem... so I thought I would do so just in case.)

Warnings: Mentions of alcoholism. 

Your gaze was leveled with the sky. Tracing over the sparkling stars and the distant worlds dotted between. Worlds that you would never be able to make out with your naked eye. Even though you knew that they were there all the same.

Was Tony on one of them? Your mind cries out. Tears coming unbidden to your eyes as you tried to quell the incoming sobs. Was he all right? Was he already dead?

The thoughts were familiar to you. Looping constantly within your head like a taunt. Images of your brother’s dead body flashing across your mind. Hollow brown eyes, normally filled with so much life, staring into your own. Never to have the same spark again. To have mischief lurking within their depths as various emotions played through his brilliant mind. 

Clenching your hands against the railing you were leaning against, you lower your head as you take in deep breaths. Ever since Tony had disappeared with the ship you had been left in an almost fugue state. Barely being able to interact with anyone. Barely allowing yourself the pleasures of living. 

Eating had become a challenge because Tony could potentially not be doing the same. How could you possibly enjoy your meal if Tony was starving? How could you allow yourself the simple pleasures of Earth if Tony was suffering away from it? Away from you. 

The thought of Tony truly being gone hadn’t fully set in. You had dealt with this before. Had lived with the knowledge that Tony could be lost to you. Afghanistan had been hell for you and for everyone that loved Tony. You hadn’t given up hope that he would be found. That your big brother, the only family you had left, would be returning to you. 

You had less hope now. At least when Tony had disappeared in Afghanistan he had still been on Earth. Now you didn’t know what galaxy he was in… let alone the planet.  His absence became more and more obvious the longer it went on. The days slipping past you like water through your fingers. The knowledge that Tony may truly be gone this time crushing you. 

It didn’t help that you were surrounded by the people that hurt you the most. The people that you thought were your family but ended up being your biggest heartache. Closing your eyes once more, you crane your neck back. And even if you couldn’t see the stars you knew where you were looking. You had long since memorized the layout of the sky above your terrace in the Compound. It wasn’t the Tower but you didn’t think you could bear to set foot in it. Not without Tony being there to greet you. 

You could hear the distant murmur of voices beneath you. No doubt the others trying to figure out what to do. The sound causes yet another stab of pain to lance through your heart. While you wouldn’t wish what had happened on your greatest enemy, you couldn’t understand how they survived when Tony didn’t. How they could be using the things he made for them after everything they had done. Didn’t understand why you had to see them every day and not Tony. 

You still remember, with perfect clarity, seeing them again after so long. Remember seeing her again after everything. 

You wished that your heart didn’t still react the way it did. 

Stepping off of the QuinJet, you pull your jacket tighter against your body. Your eyes taking in the various faces as you went. Desperately searching for something familiar to ground you. You needed something to make sense. You needed to have someone you love be okay. 

Spotting a familiar face, you break out into a run. Relief interlacing itself within your shout. “Wombat!”

At your yell, Rhodey whips around and pure relief flashes across his face. His arms are already opening for you as you barrel into him. Burrowing against him as you clung as tightly as you could. 

“You’re okay,” you choke out with tears falling from your eyes. “You’re okay.”

Rhodey’s arms tighten around you at your choked statements. The pain he was holding back showcasing itself within the shaking of his arms. By the way, he followed every minute movement of your body as you shifted in his embrace. Finally, after a few moments, you take a small step back. Making sure that you maintained eye contact with him through it all. You needed him in your sights at all times. You don’t know what you would do if he disappeared too. 

His pained gaze flits to various points behind you. His throat bobbing up and down as he tried to form his question. “Di-” He clears his throat. “Did Pepper make it?”

You nod. “She’s on her way now.”

Rhodey hums but his gaze still hadn’t returned to yours. Causing your own to narrow as worry started to fill your chest. “Rhodey.” You wait for him to turn back towards you. Even if his gaze wouldn’t stay solely on your own for long. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head but doesn’t offer an answer. Something that only causes your worry to grow that much more. Rhodey had made it his life's work to deliver the hard truths to family. You didn’t want to think of what this meant that he wasn’t able to tell you. 

Stepping closer, you place a light hand on his chest. “Rhodey,” you implore gently. “What happened?”

There’s a tense silence until he finally meets your gaze. Tears finally begin to fall from his eyes as a pained sound escapes his mouth. “Sam.”

He didn’t have to say anything else for you to understand. You had already seen so many people you knew crumble before your eyes. Seen innocent bystanders disappear with the breeze as their remaining family watched in shock. The screams for help and the mournful howls of grief following soon after. New York City quickly became a desolate wasteland of what it used to be. The City That Never Slept growing quiet. 

Wrapping your arms around Rhodey, you offer him another hug. There were no words that you could say that could take away his pain. No words that would ever make the grief go away. That would ever erase the image of ashen faces crumbling against the wind. Faces of loved ones, of people you didn’t even know, forever seared into your brain. 

Raising your head, you meet Rhodey’s gaze once more. A small frown furrowing your brow. 

“Where’s Tony?”

“We’ll have to take another jet to scope the area for more survivors. I thi-”

Whatever was going to be said was immediately interrupted by your entrance. Not that you cared for anything he had to say. Your gaze honing in on his baby blue one as you made your way towards him. While he didn’t look the same you could still see the self-righteous asshole underneath. Something that caused your anger to grow even more. 

You didn’t notice the other occupants of the room. Didn’t notice the way pained green eyes followed your every move-- even though there was worry interlacing the expression. Didn’t notice anything except for Steven Fucking Rogers. 

Even the splitting pain that erupted across your hand as you punched him did little to detract from your anger. All you could feel was your pain. Your grief at what had happened. No amount of physical pain could ever measure up to your emotional trauma. 

“You asshole,” you snarl. “This is exactly what Tony was afraid of. This is exactly what he tried to protect the world from.”

Steve didn’t make any move to protect himself from your shoves. His blue gaze turning sad; almost remorseful. 

“I know, Y/N.” He turns his head away as shame colors his face. “I know that this is what Tony was afraid of.”

“Don’t you dare say his fucking name like you’re still his friend. Don’t you dare act like what you did didn’t happen.” You scoff as you take a step back from him. Your gaze finally looping the room for the first time. Only briefly pausing over Natasha’s silent form. Hating the relief that flared through your body at the sight of her. An emotion that you were sure crossed your face by the way something shifted in her gaze. By the way, her stance loosened ever-so-slightly. Turning away from her, you meet Steve’s gaze once more. “Tony knew this was going to happen. It’s why he fought so fucking hard for the Accords. Why he fought so hard to keep the team together.”

Anger finally graces Steve’s face at your words. “The Accords were going to treat us as servants, Y/N. There was no way we could sign them.”

An incredulous laugh falls from your lips at your words. “This isn’t the forties, Rogers. You can’t just do whatever the hell you want and expect to get away with it. There have to be limitations on what people with your abilities are allowed to do.” You shake your head as you turn your back on him. Moving towards the door. “Tony was going to fight for your rights. He wasn’t going to let your humanity be stripped from you. But there had to be fail-safes in place to protect the innocent people of Earth.” You shoot him a glance over your shoulder. Withering with its intensity-- with your anger. “Or is one person truly worth more than the millions of lives you destroyed? Or the billions, maybe even trillions, that are now gone because you couldn’t see past your loyalty to him?”

“This isn’t my fault, Y/N.” Steve replies. “This is because of Thanos. He is the one we have to stop.”

A small smile quirks your lips at that. “Still the idealist I see.” You shake your head. “We all made mistakes, Rogers. Could have done things in a different manner. But never forget that you were the one that split the team-up. That you were the one that decided Barnes’s life was worth more than everyone else's.” You chance one more glance towards Steve. Your eyes are sympathetic because you already knew what happened to him. “I’m sorry for your loss. No one deserves to see their loved ones perish like that.”

Even though it’s better than not knowing...

Moving closer towards the door, you place a gentle hand against the wooden surface. Your gaze turning somber as you meet Natasha’s gaze once more. Maintaining eye contact even though you were speaking to the room as a whole. “Maybe the people we should have been protecting the Earth from were you.”

You don’t wait for a response as you’re already gone. The thunderous echo of the door slamming behind you being all that was left of your presence. 

You find Thor outside with an anthropomorphic raccoon. Something that barely causes you to pause as you settle down beside the god. Your gaze remains level with the horizon even as you felt Thor’s gaze on your face. His electric blue eyes like a weight against your skin. 

His deep rumbling voice soon breaks the silence. “Y/N.”

“Thor.”

A silence settles over the three of you. Your gaze never wavering from the setting sun. The silent fields rolling with the wind. A hollowness exuding from the world that left your stomach churning with nausea.

“Is the Man of Iron, all right?” Thor breaks the silence once more. His deep voice is uncharacteristically soft. “I haven’t seen him.”

At the question, your mouth thins into a line. Finally breaking your gaze with the horizon as you met Thor’s. “Tony isn’t here, Thor.”

The revelation causes Thor to reel back. His shock etching itself across his features. “Friend Stark was dusted?”

You shake your head; trying to ignore the pain that struck your chest at the very thought. “No, Thor. He went after Thanos with Peter.”

The God of Thunder’s brow furrows. “So you do not know if he lives?”

You shake your head once more. “No, Thor. I don’t know if Tony is alive or not. I may never know what has happened to him.”

There’s another moment of silence before another voice speaks up. Your gaze shifting towards the raccoons. Deep brown eyes, that reminded you so much of Tony, stare back at you. 

“He’ll be all right. If he’s in space then that means he’s run into my team.” His pointed snout looks back towards the sky with a hint of longing across his face. “They’ll take good care of him.”

At his words, a breath of relief falls from your lips. Your shoulders loosen at the sheer confidence within the raccoon's tone. That is until Thor interjected once more. 

“But what if they were dusted too, Rocket?’

There was no answer. Only the silence of the world, a world that would never be the same, settling over the three of you. Your eyes once again returning towards the sky. 

All with different levels of longing interlaced within.

Staying in Wakanda was stifling. While it was a beautiful country with astonishing marvels, you couldn’t help but be weighed down by everything. From the silent grief that permeated the air because T’Challa was gone. To the dark looks directed towards the sky whenever an airship flew overhead. Not to mention being surrounded by Rogers and his team. 

Pepper’s arrival was like a breath of fresh air. You weren’t sure you were still capable of smiling, with true joy, before she appeared. Her bright blue eyes meet your gaze across the yard. Her own bright smile, with unshed tears filling her gaze, appearing as she rushed towards you. Her slim arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. The familiar floral scent of her perfume calming you. 

You hadn’t been around when Pepper had seen Steve again. Hadn’t seen the colossal fallout that had occurred but you had definitely heard about it. Thor had been all too happy to tell you the tale of ‘Lady Potts decimating her star-spangled foe’. Something you were more than eager to hear. 

Which is how Pepper had found the two of you. Laughing over Thor’s depiction of events. Her own agitation quickly falling away at your joy. And, while it didn’t last long, you were thankful to Thor for allowing it to appear all the same. 

Returning to the United States, to New York City, was like stepping into a nightmare. At least while you were in Wakanda you could pretend that billions of people weren’t dead. That it hadn’t been something that affected half of the universe. Seeing the empty cars on the side of the road. The few people littering the street looking lost. Faces pale and emotionless as they shuffled aimlessly from place to place. 

It was a sight that you would never forget. Yet another thing that you were going to have nightmares about. 

The Compound wasn’t any better. Echoes of days long passed hitting you with full intensity as you made your way through the silent halls. The laughter that sounded so foreign to your ears now ghosting across your ears on a phantom breeze. Distant chattering that only seemed to fade the closer you got to it. Memories haunted the halls of the Compound. But nothing would ever be worse than the Tower. The place that you and Tony had built together. A great marvel that was forever placed within Manhattan's skyline. Knowing that he wouldn’t be there when you arrived caused you to stay away. 

You didn’t think you would be able to handle those memories. Of lazy Sunday afternoons lounging around in pajamas while Pepper was taking various calls. Tony doing his best to make her break away from her no-nonsense CEO facade. Only succeeding once before Pepper shot him a withering look that held no heat behind it. The sound of his laughter bouncing off the hallways as he cheated at Mario Kart. Your own expletives joined in soon after as you were hit, once again, with a shell. 

Knowing that the Compound did this to you; even though you rarely visited it. How could you possibly set foot in the Tower? The one place that had made you feel truly at home. 

Drinking helped ease the pain. Helped quiet the memories that kept surfacing as you stayed in the Compound. You know that it wouldn’t be what Tony wanted. That he never wanted you to have the problems he had, but as the days passed. As the pain, the grief, continued to grow, you found it harder and harder to resist the amber liquid. Tony wasn’t there anymore. He wasn’t there to tell you a joke when you were feeling low. He wasn’t there to tell you that he loved you in his own special way.

He wasn’t there.

So you settled for the numbness and the sound of his voice in the distance. Always there in a dark corner but never obtainable.

Anything would be better than not having him with you. 

On the second week of your stay in the Compound, the others appeared. The sound of the QuinJet only pulling your gaze towards the yard for a moment before you looked back down. You knew that they would be coming sooner or later. The world needed protectors. And they had just lost their greatest. The people of Earth needed to have someone to look towards. 

It was only a matter of time before they called on them. 

You didn’t even raise your gaze when you heard them enter. Their voices petering off when they noticed you sitting on one of the many couches with a StarkPad in hand. 

“You didn’t think I would just let you stay here by yourselves, did you?”

Your question was only met by silence. You were hoping that they didn’t question you on how you knew. That they didn’t notice the dark shadows under your eyes from lack of sleep. Or the empty decanter on the glass table before you. 

Steve was the one to respond. “We didn’t but I wasn’t aware it was going to be you, Y/N.”

Glancing up, you narrow your eyes. “Well, I’m the only Stark left so it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, Rogers.”

You don’t wait for a response, suddenly finding it too hard to be in the same room as him, as you stand. Trying to ignore the way the room spun ever-so-slightly at the motion. Easily gathering your bearings as you made your way out of the room.

Trying to ignore the way an emerald green gaze watched you as you left. 

You weren’t surprised when she found you-- annoyed maybe but not surprised. Sometimes you hated that she knew you so well. Hated that she could still read you like a children's book. 

You didn’t bother to turn towards her as she stepped onto the terrace. Your gaze remains level with the horizon. Hoping, no matter how much it hurt, that you would see something. Anything. A single sign that Tony was coming back to you. That he was alive. 

Feeling her warm presence settle beside you should have caused you to tense. Should have caused you to move away at the closeness. It should have caused you to do a lot of things but you don’t. You simply stay rooted to the spot as Natasha leveled her gaze towards the side of your face. Her keen green eyes took in everything that she could see. 

You tried not to tense when her eyes flickered down towards your hands. Towards the glass that, by some miracle, hadn’t broken due to your tight grip. The amber liquid glowing softly underneath the moonlight. 

She doesn’t say anything for a long while. Simply standing with you underneath the moonlit sky. The only sound passing between you being your breathing. 

Until her husky voice finally breaks the silence. “He wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself, Y/N.”

You tense. “And how would you know what Tony wants Natalia?” 

You didn’t have to be looking at her to see the wince that you caused. Your own heart feeling heavy at your acidic retort. But, unlike most people, she didn’t shy away from your anger. She didn’t even seem to be fazed by it.

“Because, despite what you may think, I still consider you and Tony my family. I know how much Tony loves you, Y/N. I know how much you love him.” She grows silent for a moment before she continues. Her tone much softer than it was before. “And I know how much I love you.”

Your eyes slip shut at the quiet admission. A painful lurch of your heart telling you what you had been trying to ignore for the last two years. That you love Natasha Romanoff. That you always would… no matter what. 

“That’s not fair,” you whisper. Finally turning your gaze to meet hers. “You can’t just come back into my life after two years and say those things to me. You can’t just say you love me like it’s going to fix anything.”

Her eyes flash. Turning razor sharp before your eyes as she steps closer. “It could change everything, Y/N.” Emerald green implores you to listen to her. To actually hear and understand what she was trying to say. “I love you, Y/N Stark. You are the love of my life. You are the only love of my life. I hate myself for hurting you. For breaking us apart because I couldn’t see the bigger picture. You are the only woman that has ever made me feel cherished. The only person that has ever made me feel truly loved.”

You shake your head. “You left, Natasha.”

“Because you told me to,” Natasha cries. Her green gaze grew even brighter because of unshed tears. “Do you think I wouldn’t have stayed? That I wouldn’t have fought tooth and nail to keep you? That I wouldn’t have let this whole world burn if it meant I could be with you for one more moment? You told me to leave, Y/N. I had already broken enough that day. I wasn’t going to stay and break your heart even more.”

“And you think this time will be any different?” You ask with an incredulous frown pulling your brow down. “You think that I don’t have nightmares about my parents death? That I don’t see my mother being murdered while my father couldn’t do anything but watch? You think that I’m not haunted every single fucking day that the love of my life kept that from me. That you lied to my face about one of the single most important things in my life.” Moving away, after setting your glass down, you run a hand through your hair. Your mouth thinning into a line. “You don’t think I wanted you to stay too?”

At your admission, Natasha moves towards you. Her gaze desperate as she took your hand in hers. “This time I will, Y/N. I won’t let you go again. Doing so last time almost killed me. I promise that I won’t ever lie to you again.” She shakes her head as she takes another small step closer, her hand resting gently against your cheek. “I promise that I’ll love you the way you should be loved until our last dying breaths.”

Your eyes flutter shut at the touch. It had been too long since you had felt her. Felt the way her fingertips ran across your cheek. The simple elegance that she always exuded being interlaced with her love for you. But you couldn’t forget what had happened. Your heart lurching in your chest as you remember the sting of betrayal once more. 

Pulling away from her, you take a few steps back and fold your arms over your chest. You needed to have distance between your bodies. You wouldn’t be able to think clearly if she was near. 

“I need time to think, Natasha.” You finally say after a tense stare off. “I need to come to terms with a lot of things in my life.”

Nodding, Natasha takes a small step back. Even though it looked like everything in her body was telling her to move towards you. Her green gaze glowed with a gentle warmth. “I’ll wait for as long as you need, Y/N. I’ll be damned if I lose you again.” Turning away from you, Natasha pauses at the door. Her gaze meets yours once more with a small smile quirking her lips. “And, just so you know, I had nothing before I found this family. Before I found you.”

Then she was gone. Leaving only you and the echoing of her words behind. 

Now…

You haven't truly spoken to Natasha since the exchange. She had kept true to her word about waiting for you. Her gaze always finds yours the moment you enter a room she was in. Always making it clear that you could approach her whenever you wished to. Though she never forced her presence onto you. Maintaining a respectable distance from you at all times. Not far enough for you to not know she was there but not close enough for you to feel crowded. 

You had tried to come up with ways why you couldn’t let her back in. Her betrayal being the main factor but even you knew that it wasn’t valid any longer. Even Tony had told you to look past it. That Natasha was so head over heels for you that her reasons had been honorable. Severely misguided, maybe, but honorable. 

Oh, Tony, if you were here I wouldn’t feel so lost. You would just tell me what to do. Give me your patented smirk and berate me about my head being up my ass. Lowering your gaze, you run a frazzled hand through your hair. If I get one sign that you’re alright I’ll give her one more chance. I’ll make it work because I know that this is what the universe wants. That you returning to me is a sign that I’m supposed to be with Natasha. 

At your eternal declaration, you glance towards the sky. Hope fills your chest as you observe the moonlit sky. Only to quickly be crushed as the minutes ticked by and nothing happened. Your heart breaks even more in your chest at getting your hopes up. 

Stepping back from the railing, you decide that it would be best if you headed in. Maybe drown your sorrows with a few glasses of whiskey before turning in for the night. Pressing your hand against the smooth glass of the door, you have to squint at the sudden light from behind you. Your eyes barely being able to focus through the brilliant blaze. Glancing behind you, your eyes widen at the sight of a spaceship being placed down onto the ground. Your breath catching in your throat as you leapt into action. 

You didn’t even register your mad dash through the Compound. Didn’t notice the confused looks or the shouts of your name. Didn’t register the cold grass against your bare feet as you rushed across the lawn. All you could see was the spaceship. 

All you could see was the hatch opening and two figures exiting. 

All you could see was the exhausted face of your older brother. His dark brown eyes meet yours through the darkness. Relief flooding his expression as he hobbled towards you. Disconnecting from the blue arm that was keeping him steady. 

All you could register was the feeling of having him in your arms again. Your nose pressing into his neck as you clung to him. Soft sobs rip from your throat as his calloused hands gently run through your hair. 

“You’re alive.”

It was like a mantra that you brokenly repeated over and over again. Each time making it even more real that Tony was actually there with you. That he wasn’t gone. That you could still see, touch, and hear him.

His answering response never failed to bring more tears cascading down your cheeks. “I’m here.”

You could hear the others as they approached you. By the tensing of Tony in your arms you know that Rogers was at the front. Pulling back, you touch Tony’s face. A soft sob falling from your lips at how emaciated he looked.

Offering him a watery smile, your thumb gently rubbing against his cheek. “We’ll have to get some food for you. I don’t think the space diet suits you, Tones.”

He offers you a small smile in return. The familiar spark reigniting in his gaze before fading away. His next words came out in a dull whisper. “I lost the kid.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. Your own shock filled you as the devastation in Tony’s eyes became apparent. You had known for quite some time that Tony thought of Peter like a son. That Tony would do anything to keep him safe. You viewed Peter as a little brother you always wanted. A warm presence that filled your life with meaning once more. His childish antics brightening your day and bringing a smile to your face. Knowing that he was gone? That you would never hear his horrible jokes again? Or his anxious rambles? It broke your heart. For both losing Peter and for Tony having to witness it. 

“I’m sorry, Tony.” You shake your head. “He was a good kid.”

“Yeah he was.”

Opening your mouth, you’re about to respond but a shrill cry breaks through. “Tony!”

Turning, you could see Pepper rushing towards you both. Her blue gaze locked with Tony as she ran. Without thinking twice you move aside as Pepper takes your spot. Moving away to give her and Tony some privacy. Or however much one could get in an open lawn. 

Not realizing how close you were to the others, you flinch at the sudden presence at your side. Your gaze meeting Natasha’s. Her green gaze filled with warmth and happiness. A small smile quirking her lips as she observes the scene before her. Pepper’s strong hold on Tony not wavering in the slightest even as Rhodey appeared too. Both taking their turns in showering the genius with hugs. 

Shifting, your hand gently brushes the back of Natasha’s. Her eyes shifted towards yours for a moment before returning front and center. Biting your lip, you deliberate on what to do. As Natasha had clearly just given you the sign that the ball was in your court. That however you reacted to this situation would be all up to you. 

You could step away. Pretend like nothing had happened. That it had been a simple accident and nothing more.

Or you could take her hand and finally accept what your heart was screaming at you. What it had been trying to tell your stubborn mind for the last two years. That Natasha Romanoff was the love of your life and you were never going to find anyone like her. That despite all this tragedy you could learn how to be happy again because she was by your side. 

I did promise the universe, you muse with amusement dancing across your mind. And I don’t like breaking promises. 

So, without breaking eye contact with the scene in front of you, you take Natasha’s hand. Allowing a small smile to quirk your lips at the way she immediately interlaced her fingers with yours. Noticing the warm smile that was now curling her lips through your peripheral. 

Squeezing her hand, your heart leapt in your chest at the answering squeeze in response. Your body singing with happiness at having Natasha returned to you. 

Despite everything, despite all the hardships you would now have to face, you would be able to do so.

As long as you had Natasha by your side you could get through anything. 

And nothing would ever change that. 

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov x reader #black widow x reader #black widow #avengers imagine #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow imagine #avengers #infinity war #of a broken heart #avengers x reader #reader insert

[squishneedsahero]

Shattered

Broken Things to Mend

Part 1 of 1

Word Count: 5998

A soulmate au where you have the first sentence your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body in their handwriting.

TW: Abuse, neglect and starvation mentions (I’m sure theres more pls let me know if I need to add anything)

You were roughly thrown into a cell and the door shut behind you with a snap, exhausted you fall to your knees and stay on the floor rather than trying to fight your way back out. You were tired, so, so tired. Your body ached, cuts and bruises littered every inch of your skin, mere hours ago you had felt invincible but now you were nothing but broken. You collapsed to your knees and cried on the floor wondering how you had fallen so far.

Here you were locked in a cell on Asgard, and here was where you were going to stay until the humans had something properly set up to contain you. Why you had tried to take over that planet you weren't quite sure, tired of feeling weak had lead you down a dark path. A path from which you couldn't return, and had been regretting as you walked down it. But you couldn't stop yourself and now it was too late.

Broken was the only way to describe yourself, you had been broken for millennia and had finally thought you could piece yourself back together when you'd found the infinity stone. The power stone. You'd thought yourself strong enough to use its power, to stop those who had hurt you and others who wanted to hurt innocents in their paths. You had soon found you weren't strong enough, you were alone and it had corrupted your mind, having no one to anchor you to reality. That's when he had shown up. The purple Titan set on reforming the universe, making it a better place, and in your broken state of mind his plan had made sense, you had agreed to help him, to take out the biggest threat in his way.

You had failed, you had lost to that group called the Avengers and soon enough Thanos would be coming after you himself to remove any loose ends. You weren't the first he had sent but you were most likely the last he'd send on their own without him to lead them directly. He'd only kept you because you were able to hold the power stone in your hands and not be destroyed, someone broken who he could control who could keep the stone safe until he was able to wield it himself.

As soon as he'd seen you failing to take earth he had taken the stone from you and left you for dead. Once you were no longer in possession of the gem you had come back to your senses, seen all the havoc you'd wreaked upon that innocent planet. But it was too late, you were already the enemy and they'd never understand if you tried to explain. So you had fought, continuing to try and protect yourself and your life until they had finally overcome you.

Now you were sitting in a cell, back to yourself but now shattered rather than having just a few chips on your broken soul. You'd ben controlled and manipulated your entire life, by those who claimed to be your friends and family, but it was only ever for the power which you had. Seemingly the last of your species, dark and wraith-like nothing more than a wisp of what you could be and easy to control. A child who could wield the power of the infinity stones, any powerful person would want you in their control.

All of that manipulation had left you more than a little broken, to the point that as soon as you had actually been able to get your hands on that gem you'd instantly turned on them. Then you'd gone after all the others who had manipulated you and dictated your life. You'd been passed from hand to hand as a slave would be, malnourished to keep a leash on you. Sometimes you were sold, other times traded, but mostly those who had been holding you were attacked and killed so that somebody new could control you.

Despite having wielded the infinity stone less than a day before you were back to that state you had been in. The stone had been the only thing sustaining your life and making you seem to be anything more than someone who'd been a broken child and was now a broken adult. You fall asleep on your place on the floor in that cell on Asgard, you were powerless to do anything and you knew it, sleeping was the only way you'd be able to ignore the crushing guilt you felt for all you had done.

All too soon you're woken up, the drapes over the glass door of your cell being opened wide and exposing you to the glaring lights. You preferred the dark as any wraith would, it was your natural state to be in the dark, so natural that the light almost hurt. Once you're awake you look over your thin arms and legs, the bruises and cuts from the fight before all healed, thats why they'd opened the drapes, you'd had enough time to heal in the dark but they didn't want to leave you in the dark. The darkness brought you power, not as much power as that gem had, and not as Much as any sort of nutrients would but it had allowed you to heal.

After your eyes finish lingering on the elegant script on your forearm you pull your sleeve to cover it and look up. Across the hallway was another cell, this one containing a raven haired man, his gaze fixed on you and not breaking even when you meet his stare with your own. He looks to be in good shape and everyone else there would think so as well, but you were able to see the haze of magic over his room. You couldn't see through it, you didn't know what he was hiding but there was something he was keeping from prying eyes and you could only applaud him for being able to protect himself in such a way.

~~~~~

Loki had looked up from his book when the drapes across the prison hall were drawn away from the cell they'd been covering from his view. Inside was a person most unusual, a wisp of a being, with grayish skin and sunken eyes which had seen so many things. What were they? He asked himself, intrigued as he'd never seen anything like them before. He's surprised when they meet his eyes and don't look away immediately as anyone else would. The few moments of eye contact are brief as the figure gets up off the floor and seemingly drifts over to their cot.

Peculiar, a long dark robe covered their grayish form, ending a foot or so from the ground revealing no legs or feet touching the floor. There was a faint cloud of dark mist that seemed to surround them, which pooled around where their feet should have been. This was their natural form, no magic concealed who they were as he did with himself. He watches as they take a seat on their cot, the mist around them gathers and forms some spindly legs. Intriguing, now that he had seen that he couldn't unsee it, their entire form seemed to be made of mist, there but not really there, but by the way they sat thy definitely has a solid form in there somewhere.

~~~~~

You'd moved to your cot, hoping that movement would break the stranger's eye contact but when you sat and turned around his gaze was still fixed on you. You hated being perceived, anytime someone looked at you there was a thirst to their gaze, a desire as they wanted to own you. His gaze was different though, more curious than wanting to control you. It eased you ever so slightly, but you still hated it, so you stared back.

Most wouldn't hold your gaze for long before breaking it, they found you horrible to look at with your grey skin and sunken eyes. You weren't always like that though, when you'd had the power stone you had found your true form, what you'd look like if you had been properly taken care of and healthy. Even then, in your true form, people wouldn't hold your gaze, you were no longer the disgusting monster you were currently but they could see the inside. Your grace and power which flowed off of you in that form intimidated them and they'd look away, but this man didn't.

You stare back at him, allowing yourself to break eye contact knowing intimidation and fear would get him to stop, so let him look at the monster you were. You were the most horrible creature someone could set eyes on in their lifetime, if he wanted the sight of you burned into his retina who were you to stop him? So instead you take your own turn to observe him, taking in his features, taking time to notice more than just the raven hair that flowed to his shoulders. His emerald eyes were the first thing which you noticed besides the hair, but it wasn't so much the color that intrigued you it was the pain and loathing you could sense behind them. He did well to hide it but not from you, you had seen that look in your own eyes too many times to not recognize it.

Who knows how long the two of you spend staring at each other across that hallway, but you both allow it to go on. Him, intrigued by never having seen anything like you before and you staring as the face before you feels familiar. You hadn't spent much time around other beings, recognizing faces was not your strong suit but picking a voice out of a crowd was easy. Finally you place it, you place him. A face you'd seen many times in your nightmares. He was the one Thanos called Laufeyson, the one who had gone before you to earth to try and take over. The other one who had failed. The other one Thanos would come after in his rage. The other loose end was sitting there across the hallway from you.

For some reason the fact that he was also here brought you peace, it brought you hope. Maybe, just maybe he had also been controlled. Maybe he would back you up and make an attempt of explaining who Thanos was and what his plans were worth it. But you could be wrong. He could have done nearly the same thing you did but all of his own accord. He could've enjoyed hurting those people.

It was that thought that prevented you from trying to talk to him through the glass. You keep quiet except for when you're being questioned, then you give nothing but honest answers and they aren't believed so you're questioned again and again, tortured and punished for what they take to be lies. At least they allow you to sit in the dark after you're through with the torture, only long enough to heal, but it's long enough to bring you some solace and block the prying eyes.

The constant pain wasn't anything new to you, everyone who had kept you before this had done the same thing if only for different reasons. They had been scared of you, wanted to hurt you to keep you weak, the Asgardians though, were not scared of you. They wanted information and not to keep you on death's door, so their torture was nothing to you.

It becomes routine for you, one day of torture, one day of darkness and one day of nothing before the cycle begins again. One day you find yourself waiting for the guards to come get you, able to guess nearly down to the minute they would arrive each time, but today they don't come. Why they don't come you haven't a clue, until an hour later when a soldier comes storming down the stairs and the man across the hall gives him directions to somewhere.

Then after more hours pass then another guard, this one a guard of Asgard comes down the staircase and talks to the man across the hall. You watch as the magic haze over his room flickers before steadying out once more, whatever he had just been told upset him, and you could only hope it wasn't Thanos coming for the two of you.

The next morning you gain somewhat of an answer, the broad shouldered blond comes down and speaks to the raven haired man, Thor you believed his name was. He was one of the heroes who had protected earth from you. You're surprised when Loki's illusion is lifted from his cell, revealing the state he is in along with all of the broken furniture that had seemed pristine moments earlier. Then even more surprisingly Thor opens up the cell to release him before turning to face you and making your glass cell wall melt away as well.

"You are a wraith, yes?" he ask and you merely nod.

"A wraith you say?" Loki asks, his curiosity piqued once again by you.

"Brother, I need your help to watch her, she tried to take over Midgard as well, but we need her help," then Thor shoots you a look, questioning silently if you'd help.

You couldn't help but wonder how stupid he was as you nod, signaling you would help. He didn't know you, you were nothing but a monster so how could he so willingly trust you? His hand resting on your shoulder startles you, "very well, Wraith, I can see there is good in you-"

"Even with all those people I killed?" You ask, breaking your silence.

"Yes, I have heard the reports from the guards. You've remained steady in your story that you were manipulated into doing all of that and at this time we need all the help we can get and I'm willing to take the chance," he responds confidently.

You nod, once again, thoroughly confused but willing to follow him and his brother through the halls of the palace until you meet with a woman. "Loki, Wraith, this is Jane Foster- the dark elves are here because of her, the aether as fused with her body and they are trying to take her and destroy the nine realms."

"Are you serious Thor? You think that we stand a chance against the might of the dark elves?" Loki asks, irridiculously with a glance in your direction.

"We do, we have you brother and Jane is stronger than she seems," he tries to rest a hand on Loki's shoulder but the other man dodges the hand.

"What does the Wraith have to do with it?"

"When she tried taking over Midgard she carried the power stone in her hands and did not crumble to dust. The aether is much like the power stone and she should be able to protect it from the elves-"

"And you're just going to trust the fate of the nine realms to two criminals?" Loki asks, sounding like he just wants to argue.

"Yes. We must be getting out of here though," Thor says once again with that same confidence.

He leads the group of the four of you through the halls of the palace, taking some sudden turns and winding your way about until you come to an odd looking ship which he has all of you get in before he starts it up and begins flying all of you out of Asgard to who knows where. Once in the ship Loki turns his attention to you for the millionth time and you, as always, maintain eye contact. For some reason Loki's frustrations seem focused on you as he turns once more to Thor, "you've heard tales of the Wraiths and their power how can you trust this one so easily?!" he sounds outraged.

You turn away from him and take a deep breath, despite not having a reaction to all of the torture the sound of him yelling terrified you more than anything. So many times you'd been shouted at then beaten, scolded then thrown in a room lit so brightly it burned your skin. You needed to focus, try and figure out if Thor was being truthful in his trust of you, or if he was trying a different tactic of manipulating you. All you knew he was telling the truth about was that the woman, Jane, has an infinity stone bonded to her and it is slowly killing her.

You don't even realize that she has taken a seat next to you where you have your head in your hands and tried offering words of comfort. You shake your head, "no, Loki is right, it is foolish of Thor to trust me. I'm a monster who has never left anything but pain and destruction in my path. It may not have been my choice to attack earth but I was so filled with pain that I allowed it to happen and even if I can contain the power of the Aether I do not know how it will effect my mind."

"Useless," Loki spits at you.

Then you stand up, feeling anger as you face him, "I know who you are Loki. Thanos is coming for you just like he is coming for me because we failed to take down his enemies, do not act as though you are better than me, the power stone corrupted my mind because I am weak but I was never given a chance until now to do good and I am taking it even if you doubt me. I've learned the hard way I don't need other's approval."

You were going to continue but it is at this point you realize Loki's expression has changed from one of nearly disgust to shock. His masks had fallen down as he stares at you and you glance at Thor who is also looking at you in shock and by the time you're back to Loki his expression is stone cold once more. "What did you say?" he asks in a low tone.

You'd thought his shout had been bad but this terrified you so much more, he was far too calm. You take a shaky breath and say, more gently this time, "Thanos sent me when you failed. I was easy to manipulate because the power stone took ahold of my mind and he used that, I wouldn't doubt if he did the exact same thing to you-"

"Not that-" he says, that angered tone returning as he snatches your right wrist and lifts your sleeve to reveal your soul mark on your forearm. There, shining gold and beautiful against your grey skin was one word, "Useless."

~~~~~

A much as he hated to admit it the Wraith intrigued him, but the part that hurt, the part that made him feel angered towards them was that Thor had so easily trusted them, a complete stranger. Loki and Thor had been brothers, and sure Thor was an idiot for trusting Loki to help with this situation but him showing trust to a total stranger in the same minute he'd offered a second chance to Loki stung.

This is why he questions Thor, why he snaps at you, it's all a test to see if you truly could be trusted. You much like he had had tried to take over Midgard, you could be a good ally but with the situation at hand how could he know he could trust you. So he pushed, working quickly to find what things set you off, what things got you to break the state of silence you were always in.

He had found it, the one thing that made you angered enough to lash out was him spitting that single word at you. Your reaction had surprised him, how quickly you'd been on your feet and in his face. How your entire countenance shown with a deeply hidden power that it seemed even you were unaware of. But the part that surprised him the most were the words that left your lips as you faced him.

"I know you Loki." You hadn't said it with malice, but as a fact, now you knew him he hadn't a clue. He's in too much shock to hear the next words you say, stating how you won't be useless any longer.

He quickly masks his face once again when he realizes you had stopped speaking. He can't stop the hint of anger that crept into his tone. He was far from angry now, but anger was the only thing that kept anyone from getting close enough to him to see through his walls, "what did you say?" he asks in a low voice.

He sees the hesitation in your eyes as you go to respond, "Thanos sent me when you failed. I was easy to manipulate because the power stone took ahold of my mind and he used that, I wouldn't doubt if he did the exact same thing to you-"

"Not that-" he says but doesn't have the patience to explain. He catches your right wrist in his hand and lifts your sleeve to reveal your soul mark. He doesn't realize that his masks once again drop before you as he stares at the elegant script that covered your forearm. His cold finger runs gently over the word written on your soul, "useless," the first word he had uttered to the one who was his soulmate.

~~~~~

It's as his index finger runs over the mark on your arm that you realize what he has said. The first word he had spoken directly to you, the one that had brought you hope in some of your darkest moments, the one that had also broken you completely, even your soulmate thought you were useless. You can't help it as you snatch your arm away from him, how dare he- How dare he call you useless then stare at your soul mark- Even if he was your soulmate.

You're surprised when he actually lets you walk away to the other end of the ship without stopping you. Your heart is pounding in your chest as you stare at those beautiful yet painful letters on your arm, somewhere in the back of your mind you register Thor and Jane having a whispered conversation. Without turning around you know that Loki hadn't moved from his place and was still staring at your back, damn him why did he have to be like this.

You had only shared looks across that hallway for months, you'd never done anything to warrant him being rude to you in this way and now, knowing as well as he did that your souls were linked hurt. If you weren't already so broken you're sure it would have broken you more, would have been the final straw to tear you apart... There isn't time for you to dwell on that as the ship rocks back and forth, coming into contact with the turbulence of an atmosphere, you were landing and it was time for you to take your chance to do something good with your life. With that thought in your mind you pull your sleeve down to cover your arm again and turn to stride past Loki to the front of the ship.

~~~~~

Loki could only gaze after you when you walked away, he recognized a broken soul when he saw one, it was what he saw in the mirror everyday. He had seen the disdain and hurt in your eyes as you ripped your arm away from his grasp, and knowing you were the one he was meant to spend his life with, the one most likely to love him back and he had already hurt you. The feeling was so much worse than any torture that Thanos could think to inflict upon him.

When they were going in for a landing and you strode past him without a glance it was like a punch in the gut. He had ruined any chance he had of gaining you favor in less than and hour, just because he had to play stupid, stupid, mind games. He just had to try and push your buttons and test you as he always did with anyone he saw a possibility of being useful.

~~~~~

You look at Jane for a moment before gently resting your hand on her shoulder, "I'm going to try and take the aether from you..." you glance at Thor, "if I loose control I want you to do whatever it takes to keep me from hurting more people even if it means killing me." You make eye contact with him for a few moments before asking, "can you please promise me this?" You ask in barely more than a whisper, letting your shields down for once as you ask, you don't care you just don't want anyone to use you anymore.

"I will promise you Wraith, I will not let you bring harm to anyone else," Thor says confidently, though you do notice his glance at Loki.

That allows you to relax, you take your time as you come to a landing on the red desert planet below you to focus your attention on taking the Aether out of the human. By the time you all land you've been able to take it from her it's power flowing through you. This stone is much more subtle than the power stone, you're able to keep control of your own mind when the reality stone latches itself to you.

~~~~~

Loki can only watch as you take the Aether from Jane, hearing you didn't care how Thor stopped you only confirmed his fear he had scared you off with his childish games. Nevertheless as he watches he's amazed with the transformation your body goes through as you harness the power of the infinity stone.

Your grayish skin changes to a more human color, your body fills out, your wispy figure disappearing. The years of abuse disappearing from your form, revealing your true beauty and the confidence someone with your abilities should. He can only stand in awe of you and your appearance as you turn to then step off the ship onto the desert planet.

When he hesitates to follow Thor walks over to him and puts a hand on his shoulder, "brother, it is not too late. You can see through lies, you would know if all that the Wraith has said is true or not. They are clearly as broken as you are, Brother, but they are willing to change. I'm sure that if you do, they also hold forgiveness in their heart." Thor gives him a firm pat on the shoulder as he turns to also leave the ship, "now let us go, and defeat the dark elves before they can take the Aether."

~~~~~

You stand and can see the ship of the Dark Elves' in the distance. If this was your end then so be it, you could finally rest with peace knowing you had aided Thor as some level of recompense for the damage you had caused. Jane comes to stand next to you, breathing deeply as she gently says, "thank you."

"I'm just glad that I am able to help the universe in some way," you respond, your eyes can't help but linger for a moment on her soul mark, on her right forearm where everyone's was. Part of you hoped that Loki wasn't your soulmate, it was only one word and not specific enough to guarantee anything, but you knew that wasn't the case, with the way he had reacted you knew the words on his arm were the first that left your lips when speaking to him.

"I know that you will," Jane says, removing you from your thoughts.

Thats when Thor makes his way down to the two of you, "Jane, you stay here but not on the ship, it is where you will be safest."

"Thor I am not going to just sit back and watch all of this happen, I might not be as powerful as the rest of you but I will be doing my part."

Thor can only nod, and you can see the fond smile he has on his face as he looks at her, "very well, but as soon as the convergence begins I will be placing you back on earth to do your part there." With that he leads the way towards the other ship, not waiting to see if his brother would be joining them. It would be very helpful to have the trickster at their side during this but after the words which had been spoken it made sense that Loki would need a moment.

As you walk Thor asks you if you know what you are capable of. "No, I don't I have been told of the things I can do as a Wraith but I have been kept subdued my entire existence so I haven't learned anything more that what you saw on earth... But I do have control of my own mind at this time," you add trying to make sure he wouldn't misunderstand you.

"It will be enough," he says and once again places a hand on your shoulder, but quickly removes it when you flinch. The group of twenty or so Dark Elves stand a few hundred feet in front of you when Thor speaks again, raising his voice to shout, "Malekith! Today is the day you meet your end, I will not allow you to destroy the nine realms."

"Thor," Malekith responds with a eerie smile on his face, "I thank you for delivering the Aether to me, unfortunately you won't be around to see the realms brought to perfection." It's with that that he points a finger towards your group, signaling for his followers to attack you.

Everything happening flies past, much like it had on earth, you fight alongside Thor using the power of the Aether to aid you, but then you come face to face with Malekith. The Elf has some sort of hold over the Aether and by extension you, he lifts you into the air and begins to take the Aether from you. No matter how you struggle you can feel not just the Aether but also your life slipping away from you, he wasn't taking just the infinity stone but all the power your weak body held. You try and fight, and try to hold on but before it your vision goes black.

You didn't expect too but you're able to open your eyes again hours later, the Aether has left you so you are back to your grey wispy form but your body doesn't ache as badly as you had expected. This planet was dark so it made sense, you'd been able to heal yourself in the shadows. You sit up, your eyes already adjusted to the dark, but just now noticing that there was nothing on the planet around you. There was some rubble of the ship nearby but besides that nothing, no Dark Elves, no Thor, no Jane. You were alone and how exactly you felt about that you weren't sure, you'd never been left so completely alone before.

Your reaction comes slowly, you can only assume that since you are alive you had done your part but it doesn't stop you from crying as suddenly everything sets in. You'd been able to do something good with your life, finally, but as you always had you'd left a trail of loss and destruction behind you. Sure, it was fine the Elves were gone but Thor and Jane had abandoned you here, on purpose or not was unclear. Though, the thing that hurt the most was that you had met your soulmate and you had instantly pushed him away, just for him to do the same. Sure, he had hurt you but you turning your back so quickly once you realized had to have hurt him as well and now you were on this barren planet where you'd eventually die of starvation.

You sit up as you let the tears roll down your cheeks, your hand naturally grasping at the floor for any sort of stability. You're shocked when you don't find that though, you lift your hand to your tear filled eyes and look at the dirt filling your palm. You were outside for one of the few times in your life and something about that calmed your tears, they were still present but weren't flowing as freely. You continued to let the feeling of dirt running through your fingers to ground you, you were finally free even if- no don't think about the long slow death awaiting you here just enjoy the fact that you are free that you could stand up right now and take off running without  anyone hunting you down. Thats it- thats what you'll do, you'll run for the first time in centuries and just let the wind blow around you. You stand up, wiping the tears from your cheeks as you take a shaky breath, let out an excited laugh and look ahead of you.

Standing in front of you is him, Loki. You hadn't noticed he was there, how much he had seen of you crying on the ground you had no idea but the fact that he was there created a strange sensation in your chest. "I- Loki I didn't-"

Once again he cuts you off but this time it's much gentler, "no, I need to apologize. I've been captivated by you since the moment I first laid eyes on you then when we were finally able to speak I lashed out with childish games, Wraith-"

It's your turn to cut him off, "my name isn't actually Wraith, it's y/n," you pause and decide to extend an olive branch of your own, "you can just call me y/n."

"Y/n," he says thoughtfully, letting the name flow off of his silver tongue, and once again that strange tightening sensation strikes your chest. "That is a lovely name, y/n," he concludes.

You bite on the tip of your tongue as you look at him for a moment, "I need to apologize as well. I walked away from you without giving you a chance to explain yourself. I know we are little more than strangers and you calling my trustworthiness into question is only logical."

He seems a bit taken aback by your honesty but he smoothly take your hand in his, lifting your sleeve once more to look at your soul mark. "Would you be willing to give me a second chance to make up for my mistake? I have a feeling we are both broken and bruised, similar yet different with much to learn."

You cant stop the small smile that tugs at your lips. You take your hand back from his and take ahold of his right arm, taking your turn to lift his armored sleeve and view the words written there in gold, "I know you Loki," you read them out loud then meet his eyes once more, "I'd be happy to give you a second chance as you call it, as long as you are willing to give me one as well."

The relief behind his eyes is clear to you, but what isn't clear is why he cups your cheeks in his hands. He gently wipes away any remaining tears on your face, "of course I will give you a second chance," he states it gently, but firmly and once again your chest tightens. It was then that he made his intentions with his hands on your cheeks clear, as he used them to pull you into a cautious kiss, that becomes more sure when you return it.  

#loki fandom #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x you soulmate au #soulmate au #reader insert soulmate au #thor the dark world #loki soulmate au #MCU #mcu fanfic #MCU fanfiction #mcu x reader #mcu x you #mcu x y/n #marvel #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #marvel x y/n #marvel x you #marvel reader insert

[electronictimetravelmoose]

Being Thor and Loki’s younger sister (HCs) pt. 1

you were a total surprise baby

Frigga and Odin were fine with only having the two boys but things happen and here you were

your brothers loved you from the moment you were born and for the first few months the would always switch who would carry you around for the day

Frigga was hesitant at first but both Loki and Thor took extra care to make sure you were alright while showing you around that she allowed it and observed with a smile

being a few years younger than them has its perks but also its downsides

you were the angel that could never do wrong and was loved by everyone around you but every time you wanted to play and train with your brothers they told you you were to young for it

seeing you sad because of not being able to spend so much time with them Loki showed you the fun in reading and oh boy he was going to regret that soon

you basically devoured every book you could find and soon enough you found a book about Valkyries

and you wanted to become one, being an amazing warrior who fights and kills monsters besides other cool warriors sounded like a dream

talking with you parents went actually quite well, Odin was hesitant at first but Frigga always stood behind you and your decisions no matter how young you were so ultimately Odin caved in

telling Thor and Loki ended in absolute chaos

both wanted to protect you no matter what and seeing you becoming a warrior which could kill you in the future was something they didn’t want to see

after the fight that ensued you didn’t talk with them for over two weeks, focusing on your studies and now training as well, both Loki and Thor realized that they couldn’t change your decision and apologize

be ready for supportive brother now

Thor who was always a fan of valkyries become your number one cheerleader and fanboy who always hyped you up

Loki kept his support more subtle, helping you out when you needed it and comforting you when training didn’t go well

years passed and you all grew up but you never quite grew out of your old habits

starting prank wars with your brothers which were mostly won by Loki

sneaking around so they wouldn’t find out about the people you dated or to be more specific you were trying to date

you really thought that your two older brothers would approve of just anyone? hell no

they scared most of the people who showed interest in you off the moment they saw them look at you for a second to long

boys…

when the events of the first Thor movie happen and Loki falls off the bridge you were devastated and decided you couldn’t stay on Asgard anymore

you travelled from planet to planet and helped where you could

it took your mind off of things and helped you discover who you really wanted to be and what was worth fighting for

when you came back to Asgard to visit your family you found out that Loki was in prison for killing hundreds of humans and trying to take over Midgard

it was a shock, thinking your beloved brother was dead but finding out he was actually alive and become a monster in the process

it took you a while before you were able to go down and face him and seeing him locked up in his cell broke your heart

“Ahh my dear sister, finally came to visit your brother and tell him how badly disappointed in him you are?”

you felt a pang in your chest upon hearing the tone in his voice and what he said, he was never like that before and you felt a tear running down your cheek

you may have become a hardened warrior by now through your travels and many battles but you haven’t mastered your emotions yet, especially when it comes to your brother

“No, just here because I missed and thought he was dead for the past few years, you know…”

his features immediately softened when he saw your tears and he felt the same hit in the chest as you did

“I only have one question for you… Why?”

you saw when your father treated him differently than Thor and you, you listened to him rant about all this stuff for years, you were there when he found out that he was adopted and actually a frost giant and you comforted him through everything so why was it suddenly so hard for him to tell you the truth

“I had to do it, there was no other choice. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Maybe back then I wouldn’t but now I do, you are not the only one who has changed, brother.”

but he couldn’t and later on he would fake his death once again

this time instead of leaving on your own you left with Thor and went back to Midgard where you met the Avengers who you would become part of very soon

throughout the next few years you fought alongside them and befriended them

your relationship with Thor grew stronger than before and you became inseparable, supporting each other and being there when things get rough

everything started to get normal...

until Loki happened again

honestly you should have seen it coming but rather than being sad you were angry

he deserved the punching he got from you

and what followed when Doctor Strange made him fall for 30 minutes straight

you liked the man immediately and quietly thanked him for making Loki suffer a bit more

seeing your siblings suffer without any harm being done to them is just something that siblings enjoy, and hey Thor laughed as well so it was fine

when you three met your older sister Hela tho it became very clear that you were in more trouble than you thought

to sum it up you end up on Sakaar first where you had to fight some of the guys who were trying to kidnap you for some money, while trying to find a place you stumbled upon a woman which you immediately recognized upon her tattoos as one of the valkyries

she tried to fight you but you showed her yours as well and explained who you are

she told you her real name and let you stay with her for a while until you find some place of your own but that didn’t quite turn out

you also met the Hulk again who recognized you and immediately hugged you, at least you weren’t so alone on this planet after all

a few weeks later Loki and after that Thor end up on the planet as well and things start to turn upside down once again

throughout the rest of the events leading up to the evacuation and destruction of Asgard it was a bit tense between the three of you but it turned out alright and you were on your way to finding a new place for your people

but happy things don’t always last, it seems

Thanos attacked, killing most people under them being Loki and Heimdal, and getting the infinity stone before leaving you and Thor in the exploding ship

after being found by the guardians you didn’t have much time to mourn them because you needed to stop Thanos under all costs so you left with Thor, Rocket and Groot to Nidavellir in hopes of being able to forge a weapon that could kill Thanos

and you did so, but Stormbreaker wasn’t the only weapon you forged that day in hopes of defeating Thanos with it

-------------------------------------------

Tagging: @satans-bae-and-queen, @hippogreif-joana

#thor imagine #loki imagine #avenger imagines #thor headcanon #loki headcanon #avengers headcanon #marvel headcanons #marvel imagine #mcu imagine

[blkgojo]

Two Superheroes, One Bed | Carol Danvers x Reader

In which, you and Carol hate each other, but have to share a bed. 

Request: Anonymous

Despite popular misconception being a former terrorist does not make people like you. If anything, it makes them hate you. Despise you. Question you incessently with things such as, "Why did you do this? What is wrong with you? How could you have justified those acts?" And to be honest, your answer was less than satisfying. There was no tragic backstory. No great villain speech. Just you and your hatred for the government.

Living in the Avenger facility did little to change that.

See, the thing about Carol Danvers was that she wasn't an "Earth" hero. Logically speaking, there should've been no reason you disliked eachother as much as you did. You didn't work for the Kree. You had no squabble with saving refugees from colonial rule. On paper, you two were two peas in a pod. Both looking after people who didn't have others to help them, but you hated her the moment you laid eyes on her. Carol Danvers with the huge ass ego. Carol Danvers who somehow was fighting an intergalactic empire, but saw no problem with the way the US military conducted business. She hated you because honestly, who likes a murderer. Redemption arc be damned. You know how it goes.

"I just feel like I've done nothing to deserve this."

"You've killed hundreds of people."

"In total, the Avengers have killed like 2000 so, I don't really see how that's relevant."

Natasha sighs. Steve steps forward and when you cut your eyes at him, he raises his hands in plea.

"Half the universe's population is gone. The US government just needs a win."

You nod slowly. "And sending me across the fucking galaxy with-" You gesture vaguely to the blonde who until that point had decided to be quiet. "- is somehow a win."

"I hate to say this, but I agree," Carol interjects. "I work better alone. Y/N will just hold me back."

"We just need someone to go back to the planet where the infinity stores were destroyed. Make sure there are no remnants."

"It'd be quicker if I did it by myself."

"Y/N is the only one with the ability to replicate organic life," Steve retorts. "If there's a possibility she can locate some particle of infinity stone and replicate that, we need to take that chance."

"It'd be good publicity for her image and it'd bring us one step closer to bringing them back," Natasha continues.

"The world needs you to put aside your differences for the mission."

That was another thing you regretted about joining the Avengers. Steve had no shortage of motivating speeches under his belt. The good thing about villains was that they weren't much for conversation - there was no need to give motivating speeches when the odds were in your favor.

But, people were gone. Wanda, the only one you remotely liked, was gone. Snapped. Looking at Carol now, it looks like she must've lost someone, too. Her unpleasant face looks somehow more restrained than it usually did.

You sigh and fold your arms. "Fine."

All Carol does is nod.

--

It would take two earth days to reach his planet. Two. There'd been complications with the engine and so, it would take not the twenty four hours you expected, you know the time span that was customary for light travel, but it would take two days. Between that and the ship having to lower the heat to maintain proper oxygen levels, it wasn't fun.

"I could fly us there," Carol offers.

"Are you forgetting I can't breathe in space?"

Carol shrugs. "You replicate organic life right? Just replicate yourself a new pair of lungs."

"Fuck you."

She smirks, takes the only other available chair next to you. At first, she seems content to annoy you by tapping her fingers against the dashboard. Then, she grows bored. Worse, she tries to talk to you.

"Isn't all of this stuff automated?"

"Yes."

"So," she begins, stretching out the word. "You don't actually need to be here monitoring it. You can get on the cot." She shrugs. "Take a nap."

"I'd rather keep watch."

You think that'll be it and she'll be done, but she continues. You never would've pegged her as the type to not like silence. But, maybe that's not even it. Maybe, she just wanted to squeeze information out of you. God knows you weren't exactly open with the other Avengers when Fury made you join.

"You ever been to outer space?"

You shake your head. "When you're flagged as a global liability they tend to prefer you on the ground."

"A global liability? Is that what terrorists call themselves?"

"At least, we don't give ourselves cutesy nicknames like Black Widow or Captain Marvel."

She scoffs. "No. You guys just blow up innocent civilians."

"Yeah, I guess accidentally killing them is way better." You smile thinly. "For the greater good and all, you know?"

She stares at you long enough that you don't think she'll actually speak. Finally, she looks away and out to the empty abyss in front of you. "I don't pretend to know what the Avengers did while I was off-world. I see them now and they're good people."

You don't respond and she continues. "You must agree. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

"Fury said it was either this or experimentation."

"Fury didn't say that."

You laugh bitterly. "He didn't, but he didn't need to. The governments experiment on all mutants - that's how we got Steve and Wanda - they just don't talk about it anymore." You spare her a glance. There's nothing in her expression that would tell you what she's thinking. "So, I chose the Avengers. And here we are."

"You could've escaped."

"Where?" You lean forward in your seat and prop your elbow on the dash. "Please tell me. Where can someone who's wanted internationally hide?"

She squints her eyes. "I'd help, but unfortunately, my knowledge of ideal vacation spots is pretty limited."

Carol's lips seem to be trapped in a permanent smirk - the corner always tilted up in vaguely hidden amusement. Even now. Her snark never stops. You feel your own anger dissipate as quick as it came. There was no point being angry with her. She loved it. Fed off it like a parasite or leech.

"It's almost like you're trying to piss me off."

She places her elbow on the console, leaning forward to shrink the gap between you two.

"Would it make you more angry if I was?"

One time, you and the raccoon had a bet. Whose eyes were more blue: Captain America or Captain Marvel? Like this, you'd have to say Carol. Her eyes had their own halo wrapped around the rim, highlighting the blue and making it fluorescent.

You rub your lips together and lean back in your seat, turning away from her to once again, look at the controls.

The ship breaks down when you reach his planet. You and Carol spend the first ten minutes after landing, arguing back and forth, blaming eachother. The next fifteen, Carol leaves you. Fucks off like a glow stick and searches the planet. When she returns, you haven't moved. Haven't left. You opted instead to lie down in the flowers. It was a beautiful planet. Perfect for retirement. The air was pure, almost light enough to get high in.

"I found his cabin."

"Great." You jump up. The blood rushing to your head and spotting your vision briefly, almost enough to cause you to wobble. "Let's go."

She steps in front of you, quick. You stop just short of bumping into her. Your faces are inches apart. That same infuriating smirk on her lips. Your eyes dart down, down to her chest - she was quite muscular, you could see that even through her clothes-  down enough that she has to clear her throat.

"It's too far by foot." When your eyes meet, she's trying to not look smug.

You arch a brow. "Well, we can't fly."

"I'll have to carry you."

You groan.

"Believe me. I'd be more than willing to do anything else."

"Fine. Do it."

You step back and gesture at her to turn around. She rolls her eyes and in a breathe you didn't know you were holding, throws your arm around her shoulders, wraps her arms around your waist, and jumps. You scream. Through the rush of wind, you think you hear her laughing or perhaps, that's a lie and it's you. Laughing hysterically. No. You are screaming. Hitting her chest. And she's laughing. Fuck Natasha. Fuck Steve. When this is over, you're quitting.

When your feet touch the ground, you bend down and kiss it. Pray to it.

"Anyone ever tell you you're dramatic?" She asks.

"Anyone ever teach you about consent?"  

"You told me to do it."

"I don't care!"

The two of you spend hours looking for remnants of the stones before you finally give it up and return to the ship. You were careful not to drift too close to his cabin. The Avengers never recovered the body. The rot of Thanos was thick, enough to gag over if you got too close. This planet wasn't used to death, not the harsh meat of Thanos. It had been months and he was still there, newly rotting as if it had been a week or two.

"I'll look again tomorrow before we leave." Carol pops a chip in her mouth, her feet kicked on the co-pilot chair while you lounged on the cot. "For now, you should get your rest."

"Don't you need to sleep, too?"

"I have been." She gestures to the chair.

You stare. Frown. The chairs were nowhere near comfortable.

"We can switch. I'll just take the blanket," you offer reluctantly. The nights here were cold anyways. Much colder than space. You involuntarily shiver.

"I prefer to sleep sitting up."

"Is that a military thing?"

To your surprise, she laughs. "Why?"

You shrug the blanket higher - the thin layer providing little comfort. "Cap likes to do that too."

As the sky gets darker, the cold filters in the cracks of the ship and between the layers of your comforter. You snuggle tighter within yourself, curl your knees up to your chest, burrow your hands underneath your pits. When that doesn't work, you shift again. It was always something. The blanket doesn't cover your feet here. You're uncomfortable there.

"You still up?"

You peek up to glance at Carol. She's leaned back in the chair, her head propped back against the headrest. When you shift, she pops one eye open.

"It's cold," you respond. "Are you cold?"

She shakes her head. "Temperature stops being a concern when you get superpowers like mine."

"Oh, yeah. Forgot you're a glow stick."

She snorts. "You talk a lot of shit for someone whose close to being an icicle."

"Bravado under pressure. It's my best quality."

You think she's gonna retort with another snort, but she stays silent. You make a move to stand, but she stops you.

"It's colder over here. See." She breathes out and you can see the cloud of her breathe. You frown.

"I can't sleep like this."

You think she's gonna do something like procure a blanket or throw you her jacket. You even think she might use her powers to heat the ship. It would make sense. Now, that you thought about it - she could've flew your ship to Thanos's exact location. You open your mouth to say as much, maybe, even yell at her as well, but she surprises you by standing.

Her head tilts to the side. Her mouth opening and closing again as if she's mulling over her next words carefully. If it were brighter, you might say this is the closest to nervous you've ever seen her get.

"I could lay down next to you." You blink. "My body generates a certain amount of heat due to -"

"Your powers. Yeah, I get it."

Slowly, you scoot over in the small cot. There wouldn't be enough room. You'd be touching regardless, but if you didn't turn over, it'd be okay. You could pretend instead of Carol, it was some space heater next to you.

"Come," you order.

You feel her weight in the cot, the warmth of her sinking in and spreading across the fabric. It hasn't even been a minute and already the cold has been dissipated. You could sleep if you wanted to. But, you don't. No matter how much you had wanted to pretend she was just some space heater, she was Carol. She felt stiff like a board and she was unbearably loud in her stiffness, her unwillingness to move.

"You can relax you know," you mumble.

"I sleep on my side."

You wonder now if she's smirking.

"No one's stopping you from doing that."

She moves and you know without looking that she's facing you. Her breathe tickles the hair on the back of your neck. You wouldn't be able to sleep like this. She's thinking so loud that whatever thoughts she's having are sure to interrupt your dreams. You turn over towards her - your faces are a hair apart. She's not smirking. Her lips are parted and her eyebrows raised, her expression torn between surprise and delight.

"You're making it difficult to sleep," you say simply.

"Am I?" She retorts. There it is. She's grinning. "That sounds like a personal problem."

You don't take the bait. "You know why you're making it difficult?"

She shifts her head slightly to imply 'no'.

"You're too far away. I'm still cold," you say.

She arches one brow. "This is too far away for you?"

You nod.

She shifts closer. Close enough that there's no room for you to glance at her lips. There's only her eyes staring into yours.

"This good enough?" She whispers.

"No."

"You're proving difficult to please, Y/N." And you can tell she's trying to be smooth, but right now, you just want her to shut up.

You barely have time to open your mouth to say as much before she's kissing you. Pressing her soft lips to yours, her hand finding its way to your hip and resting there. She tugs you closer to her until your bodies are flush against one another. The soft pecks growing longer. Light sparks from her fingertips, burning the trim of your jacket. She fists it as she presses you into her. Her touch still gentle if demanding.

You pull away slowly to breathe. To catch air. You forget why when your lips stop touching.

"Been wanting to do that for awhile," she says with a smile.

"I didn't know I wanted to do it honestly," you respond because it's true. All you knew was that Carol was infuriating. Still is. Only now you want to kiss her, too.

"Really?" Carol asks. "You didn't know you wanted me?"

"You find that hard to believe?"

"I do," she grins. "You know the raccoon and Groot have a running bet on which one of us would crack first. Groot bet on me."

"Groot lost, then." You mean to kiss her, but she pulls back.

"You're the one who invited me into bed with you."

"Because you offered your services."

"Because you complained about being cold."

You groan, snuggle into her chest so you don't feel the need to respond to her. Thankfully, she stops. Her spare hand strokes your back and slowly, you drift into sleep.

#carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel imagine #carol danvers #captain marvel

[writersblog20]

Goodbyes are not forever

Sebastian Stan

Summary: The reader is an actress on marvel. She and Sebastian are very close.  She had to shoot a very emotional scene but before that she got a call that her godfather passed away. After the scene they leave with her to go too her family.  He takes care of her.

Warnings: death of a loved one, angst, nightmares and fluff.

Words: 2,5K or something

A/N: 3 week ago my godfather passed away on a early age and it destroyed me. I don’t know if someone cares but I need some Seb fluff right now. I mostly wrote this for myself to get some comfort. Because to be honest I really don’t feel like doing anything right now and I’m having a lot of trouble with my mental health.

                  Goodbyes are not forever

You were shooting a couple of scenes in London for marvel. You were joking on set with Tom, Sebastian, Anthony and Chris E. You were laughing until you got a call from one of your family members you haven’t spoken to in a long time. You frowned and Sebastian noticed. “Are you okay darling?” he asked you. “I don’t know” you answered him anxious. The other guys looked at you as well. You picked up the phone. “hey uncle (name), how are you?” you asked him. “hey have you heard yet? He asked you stressed. Your face fell. This men was always calm. Like almost in every situation so it scared you that he sounded stressed. All your thoughts were racing around.

“What do you mean?” you asked him a little panicky. “oh so you haven’t” he said awkwardly. “well call your mom alright?” he told you. “please just tell me! Is it my godfather?” He stayed quiet. “It is isn’t it?” “please just tell me cause I’m starting to get worried!” you panicked. “just call your mom okay? I’m late for work. There isn’t anything you can do” He hang you up. You started to get teary eyes. You dialed your moms number but she wasn’t picking up.

The boys looked at you with worry in their eyes. The director called everyone on set for the scene. You weren’t up until an hour. They looked hesitant to leave you. You took a quick breath to keep yourself calm. “it’s okay” you told them. They gave you a sad smile and a hug. Sebastian stayed with you a little longer. “doll….” He said softly not knowing what was going on or what to do. “it’s okay Sebba” you told him with a sad smile. “I don’t know what’s going on yet so there isn’t much what I can do right now.” you told him. You desperately wanted to go to your family but you couldn’t. they were on the other side of the ocean and you were her in London shooting a scene. He gave you a quick kiss on your head and a bear hug.

You were left alone with your thought which started to race only faster by the minute. You tried calling your mom a couple of more times. But she didn’t pick up the phone. It looked like she was in another call with someone. After half an hour pacing around she called you. You immediately picked up. “what’s going on???” you asked her stressed. “ehm your godfather passed away last night” she told you hesitantly. It felt like your whole world was crumbling down. You had to hold back a loud sob while tears streamed down your face. You tried to compose yourself. “I’ll come home today. I don’t know what time but…” you got called off by the director. “I have to shoot one scene and then I’ll come home.” She told you that she loved you and you hang up.

You felt a hole in your chest and nausea consuming you. You walked but it felt like you were out of your body. The boys looked at you and knew something was wrong. “can we take a break?” Sebastian asked the directors while he never took his eyes of you. “No it’s okay, let’s get this scene done.” The directors called action and you delivered your lines. It was a very emotional scene. One of the most emotional scenes in the movies. It really came close to home since you found out that the planet where you came from was destroyed by Thanos and the people on it died. Tony had to tell you that when you were in the compound with your other teammates.

You felt to your knees and let out a bone crushing scream that left everyone silent. They all looked at you in horror and pain. You silently sobbed while tears streamed down your face and you hugged your legs. They all looked at your now small form on the ground. They always saw you as a strong woman because you were. But that wasn’t you right now. they saw you break into a million pieces. “and cut” the director said. Everyone stayed silent and you just left. You talked to the directors and told them you had to leave. They completely understood.

You went too your trailer and got your stuff together. You heard a knock on the door. You wiped your tears but you already had red eyes. you turn around to see Sebastian. He looked at you with sad eyes. “doll…”he said and you broke down completely. You held him so close fearing he would disappear if you let go of him. He had to help you stand up because you almost fell but you didn’t notice. Sebastian sat you down on the couch and hugged your knees while he crouched down. You told him what happened and he hugged you close. You told him you were going home. “I’m going with you.” He told you. You would actually love that but you didn’t want him to go down with you. “you don’t have to.” You told him soft. “I want to” he said while he looked deeply into your eyes. “I want to be there for you and I’m not letting you alone” he told you. You just nodded and said a soft thank you.

The cast came to you and gave you a big hug and told you to text them if you needed anything and that I didn’t need to worry about filming now. to take my time etc. You two left for the airport and you texted your mom about what time you would land and that Sebastian would come with you. You walked towards the flight and paparazzi was everywhere. You had a cap on and put your head low so that they couldn’t see your face. Sebastian held your hand which raised some questions. You had loved the men since the first time you met. You always had a big crush on Sebastian before you met and were a big fan of him and Bucky. So it was a dream come true when they casted you to be in the Marvel movies. Sebastian really was such a sweetheart. Always making sure that you would feel comfortable and all the other stuff. You guys grew very close friends over the past months. When you would be on your break you would nap together, watch movies and cuddle. Which made you fall more in love.

You got on the flight and Sebastian sat you besides the window. You looked out and you started to feel the tears again. Sebastian took your hand and held it while his thumb drew circles over the back of it while he looked at it. You looked at him and he wiped away your tears with his thumb while looking at you lovingly. You put your head to rest on his shoulder. You were exhausted but to many emotions ran in your body to actually get you some rest.

-emotional time skip-

It was a very rough week to say the least but Sebastian made it a little barrable. You were there for a week and it was a rollercoaster. Sebastian was mesmerized at the strength you’ve shown. He saw you with your family and how it all went down and the close connection you had to them. He felt very special that they let you in, that you trusted him enough to be with you on this.

you were back in London and Sebastian hired a small apartment. He insisted that you’d stay with him and you didn’t argue with him. you didn’t want to be alone right now. You actually wanted to stay with him. he led you into the apartment. It was very big with an amazing view. You could see the Tower Bridge from here. The apartment was very high up with a lot of windows. He sat your stuff down. ‘What do you think?’ he asked you. ‘I love it’ you told him. It also had a big couch with a huge tv and a cozy fireplace beneath it. The sun was already setting. “I’ll take the couch” Sebastian said. You already felt like a burden even though Sebastian assured you that you weren’t. You felt a heaviness over you as you looked around.

Sebastian saw you looking around and knew that you felt out of place. “sweetheart, are you okay?” he asked you worried. You looked at him and truthfully said “I don’t know Seb.” He looked at you with a sad smile. He walked over to you and pulled you in a big embrace. You held onto him tightly and started to cry which made him pull you even closer. He scooped you up in his arms and walked over to the couch. he sat down and pulled you on his lap where he hugged you. His shirt was now soaked. He sat there with you how long was necessary. He knew you were bottling everything up when you were with the family. There were a couple of moments where you couldn’t anymore and your uncles had your back but he saw how strong you stayed for them.

He saw everything and how you pushed your emotions away so you could take care of some other people. His respect for you just grew and adoration too although he knew it wasn’t healthy for you and it would come back ten times worse. But he knew that he would be there for you and would hold you through it.

You held onto his shirt for dear life as your knuckles turned white from holding him so tight. His hand went through your hair as Sebastian tried to give you as much comfort he could give you. His lips rested on your head as he said “let it out sweetheart, you’re safe here. I’ll protect you.” He felt his heart break at the sight of you. Once you calmed down a bit, he  picked you up again and walked into the kitchen to get you a glass of water. He sat you down on the counter and stood between your legs. He wiped away your tears with his thumb.

“Why don’t you take a shower and then I’ll go to the store and pick some stuff up and after that we can watch some movies. How does that sound?” he asked you. You nodded and gave him a big hug. “Thank you Seba.” You said grateful. He smiled and kissed your check while getting you off the kitchen counter, not really trusting your strength right now so he held you a little longer until he was sure that you could stand.

“I’ll get you some comfortable clothes and put it in the bathroom alright?” he told you. You thanked him once more and he walked up to you. “Stop thanking me. You don’t have to.” He said while you replied with “but I want to.” He gave you a little smile and kissed your nose. “Go shower doll.” He said.

You got under the shower and it did you good. You still felt like shit but at least a little cleaner. You took the clothes Seb gave you and put it on you. It was one of his sweatpants, a shirt and a hoodie. It all was two sizes too big but you loved it. You smelled the hoodie and it smelled like him which gave you butterflies. You walked out and saw Sebastian putting down the bags. “Hey, so I got us take-out and I got some wine and beer for us and snacks.” He told you with a smile. You started to feel your eyes get teary again. He quickly walked up to you. “Hey, it’s okay” he said softly while he hugged you. “I got you your favorite pizza…” he said with a soft grin which made you chuckle through your tears.

You looked around and saw that he made a blanket fort with lights in them. You giggled and he looked at you with a big grin. “You like it?” he asked you hopefully. “I love it!” you felt emotional about all the sweet things he’d done for you. “Alright climb in and I’ll pass the food and drinks.” He told you and you giggled. You climbed in and saw that the blankets were tucked behind the big tv so you had a lot of space but still felt safe.

Ones he had passed the food and the drinks he got in with you. You immediately curled up against Seb and he put his arm around you to get you closer. He passed the TV remote to you.  You picked your favorite movie and Sebastian didn’t whine about your choice. When you both finished the pizza you laid your head on his chest. You felt your eyes getting heavier but you couldn’t fight it. You were exhausted so you fell asleep in his arms.

-time skip-

You woke up heavy breathing and with a lot of tears. The pain that you felt in that moment was unbearable. You looked around and saw that you were alone in a bedroom. You recalled your memories since that was a little off lately. You were at Sebastian’s apartment. You wanted to lay back again but the emotional pain was too much to handle. You tiptoed your way to the living room while still crying. You saw Seb fast asleep on the couch. You really didn’t want to wake him. you walked to the kitchen to get some water but your sniffles were undeniable and you felt yourself crumbling down. You dind’t hear Sebastian wake up and walking towards you in the kitchen.

“Sweetheart… it’s okay let it out” he told you and turned you around and got you in a big embrace “I’ve got you” he told you softly and you let it all out. All the pain and other emotions you were feeling at that time. He knew now that you were crumbling down. he sat you both down on the kitchen floor since moving you right now wasn’t really an option. Sebastian just held you and said soft things to you while going with his hand through your hair.

Once you calmed down you asked “Seb, can you please stay with me?” he smiled softly at you “always.” He picked you up and carried you to bed. He laid you down in bed like he probably did a couple of hours ago. He tucked you in a little and crawled next to you. You immediately threw your hands around his torso. He laid his arm behind you and scooped you closer. Once you both got comfortable you stared at each other.

He stared at your big Y/E/C eyes. You don’t know how long you both looked at each other but you found comfort and safety in his soft blue eyes. he slowly put his hand on your cheek and licked his lips. He got closer and closer but gave you time to move away. But you didn’t . you closed your eyes and let his soft lips touch yours. The kiss was soft and full of love. It wasn’t hasty or anything. He pulled away and looked intensely at you. “doll… I really love you. Loved you since the day I met you. You have my heart in your hands. I understand if you don’t feel the same but I will always be there for you no matter what” he said. You got tears in your eyes. “I love you too Seba. So much that it actually hurts. I don’t want to lose you too.” You said while getting emotional. He pulled you in closer and kissed you passionately. “I will be here till the end. We’ll get through this together and everything else life throws at us. As long as we’re together. I love you and I won’t let you go” he said and wiped the tears away again. “And I will do this as long is necessary” he told you with a soft smile.

He kissed you again and you both laid there. It was painful and hard and you had a very long way to go. But you knew Sebastian would be there with you, with every step. It calmed you down because you didn’t feel alone anymore and you felt a different sort of love.

#sebastianstan #Sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan oneshot #marvel #marvel fanfic #the avengers #bucky barns

[a-edgar-allan-hoe]

The Last Chthonian

Bucky x Reader, Sam x Reader, Zemo x Reader

Part 15

A/N: Phew this was a long ass chapter to write! Feedback is greatly appreciated lovelies! That way I know I’m doing this right. 😂 I hope you all have a lovely day! Mwah!

Summary: Imagine being Hekate, the Greek goddess of magic and witchcraft, the night and the moon, doorways and crossroads, creatures of the night, and ghosts and necromancy. You stumbled upon Earth many centuries ago and since then have resided on the foreign planet. During the recent years you created an alias for yourself to hide your true identity, and after the war against Thanos you chose to live out your days in the Scottish countryside, until a certain trio appear at your doorstep one day.

Warnings: language, blood, scars, brief mention of past trauma and torture

The world seemed dimmer as you sat there on the ground with your back leaned against the metal container, your hand clutched to your aching side from where the bullet had managed to pierce your skin. The bottom of your shirt was soaked with your ichor as you groaned from the sharp pain, your breathing uneven as you looked up to the skies. This had never happened to you before, this wasn’t supposed to happen. With tear stained cheeks, your thoughts focused on your daughter Athena. You couldn’t die, not now. Not when you have your daughter waiting at home for you, no matter how much you wanted to see your family and your beloved violinist. After all the years of heartbreak and wishing to be just as mortal as everyone else, your daughter was the only thing that added color to your life, gave you hope and had you looking forward to the future. No, you were not going to die. You weren’t going to leave your daughter alone in this cold world the same way you were left alone. You were going to be there for her, raise her and watch her grow up. Watch her go to school and graduate, then live out her dreams and aspirations. You absolutely refused to die.

“Gods please.” You choked out, squeezing your eyes shut against the tears that flowed down your cheeks. “Mother, father, uncle, if you can hear me. Wherever you may be resting. Please, not now.” For the first time in many years, you felt like a child, scared and hurt, only this time you were alone, not a single member of your family left that you could turn to.

Lifting up your shirt with a hiss, you stared at the wound right below your rib cage off to the side of your stomach, blood pouring out of the bullet hole with each slight movement. “Fuckin shit. Fuck!” You knocked your head back against the metal container. Sooner or later the guys would be worried about your absence and would come looking for you, and you did not want them to find you like this. If only you could remember the damn healing spell or had any of your healing herbs with you. Ripping off the inner lining of your leather jacket, you tied the strip of fabric around your midsection, tightening it to stop the bleeding until you got somewhere where you could fully tend to the wound. With a deep breath you pushed yourself off the floor with a pained grunt, still leaning against the container for support as you zipped up your leather jacket to hide your soaked shirt. Your vision became blurry from the movement as you straightened up and cleaned your hands off, putting away your sword in your bag before starting to head off to find the guys, each step making you more exhausted than the last. But you kept your posture and pushed through, refusing to succumb to defeat. You turned the corner and a small load was taken off your shoulders, relieved to have found the group safe and without an injury. Thank the gods.

“Y/n!” Sam rushed towards you once he saw you heading in their direction. “Where were you? You nearly had us searching the whole damn place.”

“I was off fighting bad guys off course.” You rolled your eyes, trying your best to keep your composure despite your injury.

“You okay?” Sam stood in front of you with his hands on your shoulders as he searched your face. “You look sick.”

“I’m fine.” You faked a yawn. “I just could use a nap. And some food.”

“You sure?” Sam raised his brow, unsure of your answer.

“Of course Sam. I’m practically bulletproof remember?” You smiled at him before giving him a pat. You smiled at Sharon and went over to Bucky, giving him a pat on the back as well. “Good job guys.”

“Well I don’t know if I’d call that a good job.” Bucky retorted before looking at you once more and studying your face. “You sure you’re okay? You don’t look too good, and you’re sweating.”

“Yes, for the hundredth time yes. I’m fine. And gods can sweat too by the way, we’re not made of plastic.” You added with a quirked brow before looking around. “Where’s Zemo?”

Just as you finished your question you saw Zemo pull up in a classic convertible with a smirk on his face. “Supercharged.”

“Where the hell did you get a car?” You furrowed your brows at him. “You found it didn’t you.”

“You’re going back to jail.” Sam noted, obviously done with Zemo’s antics.

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” Zemo sighed at them before looking over at you, raising his brow as he noticed how your skin had slightly lost color and looked sickly, as if you had a fever, though you stood as if nothing was wrong with you.

“He's right. We need him. And there's two of us, and at least 20 of them. Come on.” Bucky added as he hopped in the front passenger seat.

“Fine.” Sam glared at Zemo as he got in the backseat. “But if you try that shit again...”

“I wouldn't dream of it.” Zemo replied as he watched you get in the back from the rear view mirror.

You hesitated, eyeing the pristine white seats with shifting eyes. Shit. You didn’t want to get them dirty and you definitely did not want them to notice you were bleeding. With a silent prayer that you didn’t mess up the seats with your blood, you slid in the backseat next to Sam right behind Zemo, trying not make a strained face from the movement. Zemo had noticed this, how you were extremely careful in getting in his car, and he wondered what went wrong with you to act this way. It looked as if you almost didn’t want to get in. Your behavior was strange.

“Well, that was one hell of a reunion.” Sharon commented as she stood by the car.

“Come back to the States with us.” Sam offered her.

“I told you I can't. Just get me that pardon you promised me.” Sharon mentioned before walking away.

“You're not gonna move your seat up, are you?” Sam glared at the back of Bucky’s head.

“No.”

“Can you kids chill out? Don’t make me put you on time-out.” You muttered, grabbing your sunglasses out of your jacket pocket and putting them on. You were starting to get a massive headache from your wound and the sunlight was not helping at all, only blinding you at the moment.

“Hey, don’t call us kids.” Sam glared at you.

“I’m 23,000 years old. I’ll call you kids whenever I goddamn want.” You leaned back in your seat, only to have Bucky and Sam look at you with an offended frown while Zemo smirked before driving away.

You had arrived at the landing strip where Zemo’s jet was. Being careful to get out of the car, you looked back at your seat in relief to see that it was still clean, not a drop of your blood on it. Oeznik greeted you all as you came in. And as you glanced at the seats of the jet, you rolled your eyes as you pushed your sunglasses up on your head. You forgot the seats of Zemo’s jet were also light colored. With a sigh you sat down, being careful not to move too much that would cause you to lose more blood. You don’t know how you had managed to last that long with a wound like that.

“Would you like anything to drink miss?” Oeznik approached you, asking you in Russian.

“Water is fine thank you.” You answered back in Russian as you smiled politely at him. You could really use a glass of cold water right now. Your wound was not only making you exhausted, it was also making you extremely dehydrated.

“I didn’t know you can speak Russian.” Zemo commented when he heard you speak.

“Perks of being a Greek god.” You turned to face Zemo in front of you. “We can speak all languages.”

Oeznik came back with your glass and you thanked him, downing the glass in one sitting. The cool water felt harsh against your dry throat that felt like the Sahara dessert, as if you were swallowing sharp shards of ice. The glass of water did nothing to quench what seemed to be a never ending thirst, you could have chugged down a 5 gallon jug of water but it still wouldn’t have provided you any relief. You wanted desperately to ask for another glass and another after that, but you couldn’t let the guys get suspicious. You didn’t want to delay their mission and have them be worried about you, there was already enough on their minds. So you slid your sunglasses back on, ignoring the anxiety, the pain, the weariness, and the uncontrollable thirst as you leaned back to get into as much of a comfortable position as you could get. “I’m going to take a quick nap. So if you three could not argue like a pack of chihuahuas, that would be great.” You noted before closing your eyes.

“We don’t-“

“Shhhhh Sam. Thank you.” You mumbled as you struggled to fall asleep, the symptoms you were feeling only getting more severe. The sooner you landed and found a place to rest, the sooner you could tend to your wound.

“Is she okay?” Bucky whispered to Sam.

“Yeah, she gets like that when she doesn’t get her nap.”

“I heard that.” You announced with your eyes still closed.

“I thought you were going to sleep.” Sam looked at you.

“I’m in the process.” You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest as you shifted in your seat, soon drifting off to sleep.

When you woke back up, you noticed that the plane was already starting to land. “So where are we landing?” You grumbled as you sat up in the seat, feeling more drained than before despite the nap you took. You rubbed your eyes from under your sunglasses, adjusting your vision to look out the window and seeing the clouds pass as you declined towards the earth.

“Riga, Latvia.” Zemo answered your question.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asked you once he saw that you were awake.

“Almost there.” You lied. “Once I get some food in my stomach and a proper night’s sleep, not a nap, to recharge, I’ll be like brand new.”

Once the plane landed, you got up and checked the seat again with a quick glance, it seemed as if luck was on your side, in a strange and twisted away. The seat was clean. You thanked Oeznik on your way out of the plane and followed Zemo into the streets of Riga, glancing around at the European architecture. The four of you received a few stares as you went, making you lower your head and hide your face behind the strands of your hair.

“I heard what became of Sokovia.” Zemo spoke. “Cannibalized by its neighbors before the land was cleared of rubble, erased from the map. I don’t suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial? Of course not. Why would you?”

You winced at the jab Zemo made towards Sam and Bucky. Something told you Zemo hadn’t meant it towards you. Did he know you were there? You had visited the memorial once before with Wanda. At the time, you couldn’t help but feel guilty, despite your efforts to stay back after the defeat of Ultron to help clean up and find any remaining survivors. You, a Greek goddess, couldn’t even save the country from collapsing or the man you once loved. Who’s to say you can save your daughter if anything were to happen to her?

“We are here.” Zemo announced as he stopped at a building.

“I’m gonna go on a walk.” Bucky mentioned.

“You good?” Sam asked him.

You looked towards Bucky, silently asking him if he needed anything.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Bucky nodded before heading off.

You watched him walk away with a raised brow, something was bothering him. You heard the sound of keys and turned back to see Zemo unlocking the door to a building, revealing a small flight of stairs.

“This way.” Zemo gestured. “We should stay the night here before heading off to find Madani first thing tomorrow.”

Fuck. You weren’t sure if you had enough strength left. You stared at the steps as Sam and Zemo went up.

“Y/n. You coming?” Sam called out to you, making you look up at him.

“Uh yeah.”

“Hey, are you sure you’re good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You nodded with a feigned smile before heading up the stairs behind them, using everything in you to not collapse right then and there as your side burned with each step. Halfway up the stairs you were hit with vertigo, clutching your head as the world around seemed to sway along with you.

“Y/n?” You heard Sam’s voice, muffled by the throbbing that grew in your head.

Your body leaned backwards, just about to fall down the flight of stairs before a pair of arms grabbed you. You fell limp into Sam’s arms as he stared down at you with wide eyes, searching your clammy face for any signs of what could be wrong.

“Y/n? Y/n answer me!” Sam held you with panic in his voice, your body felt frail and cold in his warm arms, making his concern and worry only grow.

“Quick.” Zemo affirmed as he opened to door to his place. “We need to get her in.”

Sam picked you up, your head falling back limp as he carried you up the stairs.

“Quick. Set her down over there.” Zemo nodded towards the couch in the living room before closing the door behind him, watching Sam go over and lay you down as gently as he could. A sense of perturbation filled within Zemo as he saw you there. In the few days that he had known you, he had grown accustomed to seeing you always standing strong, your head held high and and a look on your face that meant you were ready for whatever troubles that may lay themselves on your path. He had gotten used to seeing you as the immortal daughter of Zeus himself, the princess of Olympus. Yet here you were, laid out on the couch in front of him, looking mortal and frail. It looked as if death itself was hovering just centimeters from your body, ready to snatch your soul and leave nothing but an empty vessel behind.

“What is wrong with her?” Zemo asked quietly as he moved over to where Sam was crouched by your side.

“I......I don’t know.” Sam shook his head as he tried to check your pulse before pausing, his eyes growing dark. “She’s.....dying.”

“What?” Zemo replied, his voice louder this time. This couldn’t be happening, Sam had to have made a mistake. You used to rule the Underworld alongside Hades. You were the one that guided the souls there. And after what happened, you were left to rule the dead on your own. How could you, goddess and ruler of the Underworld, die?

As you laid there, cold and sweating with what felt like your whole body was on fire, and your mind spinning from the vertigo, you felt Sam’s hands move towards the zipper of your jacket. You grabbed his wrist before he could touch you, pulling his hand away from your body.

“Don’t.” You breathed out, straining to open your eyes as you looked at him, only to see a blur of his figure.

“Y/n. What the hell is going on?”

“Don’t touch me.” You rasped out, licking your lips from how dry they felt.

“Y/n.”

“Don’t make me force you Sam. I’m fine. I just need some sleep.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Sam glared at you, wishing you weren’t so stubborn even in a state like this. “I’m going to remove your jacket to try and see what is wrong.”

“Don’t.” You squeezed your eyes shut as you groaned from the pain in your side.

“Y/n.” Sam’s voice was stern. “I checked your pulse. Don’t give me that shit. What the hell is going on?”

You sighed, not wanting to look at Sam in the eyes. You heard the door click open and saw Bucky walking in, his eyes trained on you. “Y/n? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You whispered.

“No she’s not fine.” Sam sighed as he turned towards Bucky, trying his best to stay calm in a situation like this. “Her pulse is weak.” Sam couldn’t help but feel that he was to blame for this. He let you go on this mission with him, and now you were injured, on the brink of death with your daughter still at home expecting your return. He promised Athena he would bring you home safe.

“Her pulse is weak? What do you mean?” Bucky furrowed his brows as he rushed over to where you were.

“It means what it means.” Sam looked away, his heart wrenching form the thought of what might become of you.

“Sam said she might be dying.” Zemo uttered, his eyes trained on the floor at his feet, he still didn’t want to believe what Sam had said. He wanted to be by your side, to hold your hand. But how could he with Sam and James there? A part of him wanted to do it anyways, despite what the two thought, but he couldn’t. He knew you wouldn’t allow him.

“Dying?” Bucky looked at him in anger from the words that came from him, grabbing Zemo by the collar of his coat. “The hell are you talking about? How can she be dying?”

“Can you guys cut it out?” You said louder this time, making the men turn to you, they couldn’t exactly tell what you were going through. But to you it felt as if your head would split open in any moment. “Y’all talk too damn much.” There was no point in trying to hide your situation now. With a groan and using every last bit of strength you had left, you pulled yourself up to a seating position, struggling in taking your jacket off before tossing it down on the floor.

“What the hell is on your shirt?” Sam knitted his brows together as he reached over to touch the golden liquid that stained your shirt, unsure of what the strange substance was.

“I said don’t touch me!” You shouted as you swatted Sam’s hand away.

“Wha-y/n what the hell is on your shirt?”

“..............It’s my blood, or ichor. It’s......extremely toxic to mortals, which is why I specifically said to not touch me.” You spoke with labored breaths as you leaned back on the couch.

“Your blood?” Bucky’s eyes widened. “Why are you bleeding? And why is it gold?”

“Not everyone bleeds red James.” You rolled your eyes.

“...........lift your shirt.” Sam ordered you.

“Sam-“

“I’m not gonna ask again y/n. I know you don’t want us to go near you. But I at least need to see what the hell is going on in the first place.”

You hesitated, your lips firm as you stared down at the ground. Not only were they going to see your wound, they were going to see the scars on your back as well, and there was nothing you could do about it. With a sigh, you grabbed the bottom of your shirt, peeling it off your skin since some of your blood had dried and stuck to your torso. Wincing as you did so, you lifted your shirt up to the bottom of your sports bra and untied the strip of fabric around your stomach, revealing the bullet wound underneath.

“You’ve been shot? But how?” Sam knitted his brows together. “I thought you were bulletproof.”

Once Zemo received a view of your wound, the blood within his veins burned with rage. He tried his hardest not to go out there right now and kill whoever had managed to put you in such a condition. You had a bullet imbedded in you this whole time, suffering, nearly bleeding to death and he hadn’t noticed. Why did you keep this from them?

“I’m supposed to be bulletproof Sam. I did not expect to be taken down by some bootleg Duane Chapman. But don’t worry, he’s dead.”

“But how?” Bucky asked you, your reaction to being shot was not what he had in mind. “Are you...are you going to die?”

“Look, I’m just as clueless as you are.” You grunted, wincing from the pain. “All I know is that I have to take out this bullet and stitch up the wound as soon as possible. I don’t want to find out what will happen if I don’t.”

“Christ.” Bucky ran his hand threw his hair, thinking of any way he can help you, but you refused to let them near. They couldn’t even come in contact with your blood because of how you treated it as if it were acid to them. “So what now?”

“I’m going to have to do this myself.”

“No way.” Sam shook his head. “That’s dangerous.”

“I’ve patched up Spartans, gladiators and knights before Sam, and many others after that. After centuries of doing it, I think I know what I’m doing.”

“Well have you ever done this on yourself?” Bucky asked you.

“..........no. But I can manage. As long as you guys don’t freak out, I won’t freak out.” You blinked before gesturing to your jacket. “Inside my right pocket there’s a tiny duffel bag, can one of you grab it please.”

“Tiny duffel bag?” Sam raised his brow.

“Yes, that’s what I said. Now can one of you please get it?”

Sam went over to where your jacket was on the ground, pulling out a miniature duffel bag from the pocket.

“Good. Now set it down on the floor.” You watched as Sam set the small bag on the floor with confusion. He thought it looked like it belonged to a Barbie doll. What the hell were you doing with it? “Okay good. Now step away.” With a flick of your wrist, the men watched you with curiosity as you used your magic to turn the duffel bag into it’s normal size.

“Well that’s totally normal.” Bucky commented.

“Okay. Now open up my bag, I want you to pull out my bottle of wine.”

Sam looked at you quizzically before zipping open your bag and rummaging through it, finding your glass bottle of wine and handing it to you. “I thought you don’t drink.”

“Never said I didn’t drink, I just don’t drink your mortal shit.” You grumbled, popping open the cork with your teeth and keeping the cork in place to prevent you from biting your tongue. Slowly, you poured some of the wine on your wound, grunting from the stinging sensation that made you bite down on the cork. After a few seconds, you set the cork and bottle down beside you. “Now, would any of you happen to have a needle and thread? And some gauze? Or even some clean strips of fabric?”

“I can check.” Zemo offered before heading off. Shortly after, he came back with gauze that he managed to find, along with a sewing needle that already had a string of thread looped through.

“Thank you.” You grabbed the things from Zemo, setting them aside on the table that was within arm’s reach before hovering your hand above your wound.

“Y/n....” Sam’s voice was unsure, laced with concern once he figured out what you were going to do.

Zemo turned away. He had seen many injured Sokovian soldiers before, but this was different, he couldn’t stand to see you like this. To see you in pain hurt him in a way he never thought he’d feel when he met you.

A violet mist appeared around your fingertips as you attempted to regain your breathing, trying your best to keep your hand steady despite how nervous you were. Yes, you had patched up many people in the past, but you never once had to do it on yourself, and you were terrified. What if it went wrong? But you couldn’t have someone else do it, Olympian blood was considered toxic to mortals, killing anyone who came in contact with it. No, it had to be you. With a single deep breath, you used your powers to extract the bullet from the wound, clenching your jaw as you hissed from the pain. Tossing the bullet aside, you added pressure to the wound to prevent any more loss of blood before cleaning it out.

Holding the needle in one hand and holding out your open palm in the other, you muttered a few words in Ancient Greek, using a pyromancy spell to light your free hand up in a violet flame.

“What are you doing?” You heard Sam ask.

“I have to sterilize the needle of course.” You answered before holding the needle up to the flame to heat it up, waiting for the metal to turn red before extinguishing the flame. You grabbed your wine bottle again, taking a few swigs out of it before setting it back down. With a huff of your jagged breath, you started on stitching it closed, hissing each time the needle pierced your skin.

The three felt guilty for having stood there, not being able to do anything to aid you while you stitched yourself up. But what could they do? If your blood was as toxic as you said, there was nothing they could do.

Once you were done stitching up your wound after what felt like hours, you had Sam help you with the gauze since you weren’t able to move much. You were practically waiting for him to see the scars on your back and ask about it. What would you even tell them? How would they react? You had managed to hide those scars for many many years until now, it was a memory you did not wish to relive. Logan, Charles, and Erik were the only souls who knew about them. One thing was for sure, you did not have the strength to explain to them the story behind them.

“Y/n.” You heard Sam’s worried tone of voice. You didn’t even have to look at his face to know where his eyes had landed. You could practically feel the gaze of the three of them, staring at your back with what you could only imagine as horror.

Though Zemo had caught a glimpse of them in the dark when he was in your room, the shadows that were cast against them from the moonlight failed to show just how deep and jagged they were, as if the skin on your back wasn’t even yours.

“Y/n.” Sam spoke softly after seeing the troubled look on your face and how silent you had become. “Y/n.............what is this? What happened to your back?” Sam had seen these kind of scars before, but only in photographs in history books, never in person, and he was afraid to hear what your answer would be.

There was only one thought that came to Bucky’s mind when he saw your back. He had been in a similar territory. Those scars that lined your back were almost too familiar to him and he didn’t need to have the same ones to know there was only one possible way you could have gotten them.

“I know you guys are concerned, about my scars.” You muttered, your back still facing them as you were left in your sports bra while you changed into a clean shirt, hiding the skin on your back. “But I’d rather not talk about it right now. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to get some proper rest.”

The men nodded their heads, accepting your request before heading off in their own directions. They understood your decision and weren’t going to question it.

“Sam wait.” You stopped him, seeing him stop in his tracks to face you. “Please stay.”

Sam looked at you with a raised brow, wondering why you wanted him to stay before sitting down on the sofa beside you. “How you feeling?”

“I feel like shit, but less shittier than before.” You chuckled softly before wincing from the action. “But don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Listen Sam, about my injury, please don’t blame yourself for what happened to me.”

“I’m not-“

“I can tell Sam.” You sighed. “I just want to let you know that none of it was your fault. I chose to go on this mission.”

“I let you come along and you got hurt.” Sam looked at you. “This wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Hey, not everything works out perfect. Trust me, I thought I would be fine because only a god can kill a god..........but I obviously got shot. But the thing that matters is I’m fine. Sure, I thought I was going to die. Hell, you all thought I was going to die. But I’m still here.”

“Do you know why that happened?” Sam asked you.

“To be honest? I still don’t know the true answer to that. Part of me thinks that it has to do with the loss of my planet. Maybe my time away from my planet has left me weak.”

“Hey.” Sam spoke up. “You are not weak. You are the strongest woman I know.”

“Right after your sister.” You quirked.

“Right after Sarah.” Sam chuckled softly. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, and I’ve seen you do it, you need to stop thinking that you’re weak, and less important than everyone else. You have gone through so much, and seen so many things. I can’t tell you how to feel about the things you have gone through because I don’t know what that’s like. I didn’t grow up on another planet, I’m not a Greek god and I’m definitely not thousands of years old, so I don’t know what that must have been like for you. But what I can say is that you’re not alone, you have a daughter who you raised all by yourself with zero experience of being a parent, and you raised her well. And you have us, so don’t feel like you need to hide every single thing from us. We’re here to help. I get that there are some things better left unsaid, but please don’t feel like you have to suffer through everything alone. If you keep eating at yourself like you do, and bottle up all your thoughts and feelings, it’s only going to do you more harm than good.”

“Y’know.” You looked at him, staring into those beautiful brown eyes of his that you always loved, the ones that reminded you of a safe place that you could seek shelter in no matter when. “I was supposed to give you a pep talk, but you have beat me to it.”

“Hey, if it works.” Sam smiled at you.

“Thanks Sam.” You smiled back.

“Come here.” Sam opened his arms out for you. “You need to rest.”

A sheepish grin appeared on your face as you scooted over to him, letting yourself relax in his warm embrace. Sam always gave the best hugs. Back when you worked with the avengers, Steve, Clint, and Sam were the three you would go to whenever you wanted a hug or just someone to hold you to wash all your worries away. Before them it was always Thor, and your brothers before him. But Sam’s hugs always felt as if you were hugging a big soft teddy bear, and gods you could stay in his arms forever. You two had stayed like that for a while, Sam with his back against the couch, and you cuddled up against his chest, wrapped in his arms. Right before you fell asleep, you thought about what Sam had told you. You knew he was right. But your thoughts couldn’t help but drift over to the recent events, how you were slowly starting to fall apart to your titaness form, the dream you had of Athena, and how you had been shot. After thousands of years, your skin had been pierced by a mortal for the first time. You thought about the prophecy you had heard a long time ago, the one your father had warned you about. Did this have anything to do with that? Were you in fact becoming mortal, or was this just paving a path to something much darker, and far more sinister.

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[waiting4inspiration]

To be Evil IV: Loyalty

Summary: Thanos now has two more Infinity Stone, but refuses to send you on missions to get the other stones. His reluctance is probably a good thing. Especially when you learn what you really are. 

Warnings: I don’t know if this makes sense anymore but oh well, angst, strong language, Infinity War (rewritten), I feel like I’m just rambling at this point

Word Count: 1,991

To be Evil Masterlist II Marvel Masterlist

You traveled across the universe with your new team in search of the other Infinity Stones, and yet, you have done nothing but wait for orders from Thanos. He had gone to Knowhere to find the Reality Stone, brought back one of his ‘daughters’ who you’ve heard be called Gamora, and then took her to Vomir to retrieve the Soul Stone. He came back from that mission alone and deep down, you knew why. 

With two Stones left, both of them on Earth, the ship makes its way back to your home planet.

Each time a stone is placed in the gauntlet, it’s as if a part of you fixes in place and your powers buzz inside you. Your dreams change, but you can never remember what they are when you wake. All you know is that it is about the Stones. The Time Stone and the Mind Stone are all that remain and you’re eager to get out of this spaceship and retrieve the Stones. 

Though, there has been some advantage of having nothing to do while Thanos hunts for the Stones. You’ve had time to focus on your powers, work on them without having to focus on control. In that time, you’ve learned to do things you’ve never done before, things that will allow you to fight more than one person all while standing in one place. And it’s no longer using curses. Not really. 

Now, with Earth in sight, you wait for your orders from Thanos, so sure that he will give you an important task, especially after you have proven yourself by retrieving the Tesseract and the Space Stone. But he left you out of obtaining either the Time Stone or the Mind Stone. Those tasks were given to Ebony Maw, Cull Obsidian, Corvus Glaive, and Proxima Midnight,

“There is a reason you are leaving me out of retrieving the Stones, isn’t there?” you question Thanos after the meeting, walking up to him as the others walk away to prepare themselves. 

Thanos doesn’t look at you. All he does is carry on to stare out the window at the nearing planet and it slightly irritates you. “You have done enough-”

“I want to do more,” you cut him off, stopping just behind him as you clench your hands into fists. “I’m sick of sitting around, doing nothing. Let me go after the Mind Stone.”

“No,” Thanos quickly objects, turning around to face you as you shift on your feet at the firm tone in his voice. Almost as if he’s hesitant about you going after the Mind Stone. You could read his mind to find out why, but you won’t because you know he’s too powerful with four stones in his possession for it to go unnoticed. It wouldn’t be a good idea. “I have not given you a mission so that your loyalty can be tested,” he explains, but you don’t believe it. 

You shake your head, glance over his shoulder at Earth and fold your arms over your chest. “You think I’m going to go back to that team after everything they’ve done to me?” you question, chuckling as you look at him with a sarcastic smile on your face. “Do not treat me as they did,” you warn, your eyes taking on the yellow glow that you’ve grown used to. And with your powers becoming stronger, the glow is almost permanent. 

Thanos knows your connection to one of the Infinity Stones. He knows the source of your powers comes from the Mind Stone, and he knows he doesn’t want to be in your way when you use your growing powers. 

He sighs, steps towards you and nods his head. “Go after the Time Stone. But do not engage an attack unless needed,” he orders. 

And though it is a mission, you scoff and roll your eyes. It’s a babysitting job. Make sure Ebony Maw and Cull Obsidian do their jobs and not interfere. “Very well,” you mutter, thinking at least it’s a reason to get off the spaceship and get some fresh air. 

Joining the two of your companions on the Q-ship, you make your way to what you know is New York. Maw gives a basic plan of attack, but you know that you aren’t to do anything unless something should go wrong. And with Maw and Obsidian working together, the chances of things going wrong are very slim. 

You end up sitting on the roof of a building, looking down and watching everything from a distance. Seeing the Time Lord, Doctor Strange, alongside Tony and Bruce, you perk up in interest and take a step slightly closer. You can feel the presence of the Time Stone and you have a deep desire to be united with it. 

Watching the fight beneath you, how Cull Obsidian was blasted away with ease by Tony, Bruce going with in Hulk form to fight the colossal member of the Black Order and Ebony Maw is defeated and sent away from the scene through a portal created by Strange, you smile at the realization that your time has come. Thons said not to interfere unless needed. Well, now it is needed. 

Using your powers to alleviate yourself off the roof of the building and to land gently on the ground in front of Strange. It would be best if Tony remains out of this so you can take the Time Stone. You know Strange will put up a fight, so you’ll need all the strength you can muster up. 

“I’m sure you know what I want,” you say, stepping forward as your eyes glance down to the Eye of Agamotto hanging around Strange’s chest that holds the Time Stone. “And if I must, I will fight you for it,” you add, holding your hands out and lifting pieces of rubble from the previous fight, a new trick you had learned. 

“You must be (Y/n),” Strange speaks, and you expect him to prepare himself for a fight, but he doesn’t. Still, you keep the rubble floating behind you just in case. “Tony has spoken about you, about your powers.”

You scoff, roll your eyes at him and take a step forward. “About how dangerous I am? Well, I’ve learned so much now that I don’t have him telling me to hold back,” you mention, smiling proudly at yourself as you take another step forward. “I’d be happy to show you,” you chuckle before sending everything you have levitating behind you towards him. 

Strange uses his magic against your move, making the rubble turn to dust and fall at his feet. “I don’t want to fight you, Guardian,” he says, making you freeze and frown at him in confusion. He sees this, tilts his head and steps closer as you slowly lower your hands to your sides, their glow dying down. “I know you come from the Mind Stone. You know that too. But it seems you do not know what your purpose is,” he mentions, walking closer to you as you stare at him. “You don’t know whose side you’re supposed to be on-”

“I know whose side I’m on,” you snap, throwing a large piece of debris at him with a wave of your hand. He counters your attack, destroys the block you sent to him into pieces as you glare at him “And it sure as hell isn’t yours,” you sneer, stepping forward again as you conjure up a barrier around him, as you did with Wanda. 

And yet, Strange doesn’t fight back. He gives in to your hold on him, and it’s probably the thing preventing you from knocking him out and taking the Time Stone from him. “You haven’t been collecting the Stone for Thanos. Deep down, you’ve been collecting them for yourself because you were chosen and created by them to protect them from those that would use them for good or bad,” Strange mentions, making your face fall and freeze in your tracks. 

That’s exactly what that feeling is. You couldn’t explain it, until you heard someone else say it. Lowering your hands and breaking the barrier around him. Still, you shake your head at him as he walks towards you. “I have seen because this has shown me,” he explains, moving his hands to open the charm protecting the Stone. 

The Time Stone floats towards you like it’s drawn to you. And you reach out for it, glancing up to Strange to make sure it’s alright. He nods his head.

As you close your hand around the green stone, it’s like you’re taken back to the time just before you burst into life from the Mind Stone. You remember the threat the Stone felt as HYDRA started their experiments, you remember getting an order to protect it and to protect the other Stones if things come to that. 

Glancing down to your hand as you open it, you stare at the Stone and suddenly know what you have to do. 

After your curse triggered Bucky’s Winter Soldier programming, he went to Wakanda to make sure that the work Shuri did on his mind wasn’t reversed. He went with Steve, Wanda, and Vision because knowing now that Thanos is looking for the Infinity Stones and the Mind Stone hasn’t been taken yet, they have a plan to destroy the Stone without killing Vision to stop Thanos from getting what he wants. It was Loki’s plan. 

Thankfully, Bucky’s mind is all good. There’s no chance anyone can trigger him with those special words. But all he can think about is why you did what you did. He thought he knew you well enough not to do something like that to him. And though he knows you didn’t mean to do it, that your curse was meant for Steve, it still hurt him. 

 “We all know that Thanos is gonna come for the Mind Stone and he’s probably gonna have (Y/n) at his side,” Steve says, looking between each member of the team, including T’Challa and Vision and they plan for an attack from Thanos. “She’s more powerful now and will probably be the one to take the Mind Stone-”

“If that happens, she’ll be unstoppable,” Bucky cuts him off, making everyone look at him. Bucky takes a deep breath, runs his tongue over his lips and drops his gaze to his hands. “The Mind Stone is the source of her powers. She’s basically the Stone in human form,” he explains, closing his eyes as he recalls the memory. 

He was there when you showed up, assigned to protect one of the scientists. He remembers the flash, your figure appearing out of nowhere before you raised your hands to destroy the room. The only ones that got out were you, Bucky, and his assigned scientist. Then you disappeared, and Bucky found out years later when he met you again that you were found by Tony after that, but you forgot everything that happened. 

“If she gets in touch with the Mind Stone, the chances that she could tap into the power of the other Stone,” Vision mentions, making Bucky nod his head when he looks at him. “Then there’s no knowing what she’ll do. Whether she’ll fight Thanos or fight with him.”

“What you’re saying is that she could side with us, but if she doesn’t, we’re screwed,” Natasha says, simplifying it and making Vision nod in confirmation. “What would make her side with us?” she asks, still look at Vision because he’ll be the one to know with the Mind Stone in his head.  

Vision glances at Wanda for a second before he looks over to Bucky. The Winter Soldier knows what that looks means. The only way they can get you to side with them would either be some major sucking up, or if someone really close to you appeals to you. 

Someone who knows how to calm you down. 

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[alirhi]

24

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 24/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable.

Loki sighed, raking his hands back through his hair. He'd been pacing like a caged lion for nearly an hour, and it only increased his agitation. "I'm sorry, darling," he finally said to Bucky, shaking his head. "I can't just sit here. There's too much to be done, and those idiots aren't doing any of it."

"What are you gonna do?"

That was what he'd been struggling to figure out for the past hour. Go after the artifacts and have done with it? Sneak back to Asgard and see how things stood there? Spy on Thanos? It had taken some time, but he thought he'd finally settled on the best course of action.

"I'm going to Jotunheim."

Bucky lurched to his feet, looking alarmed. "Didn't you-"

"Kill their King and attempt to destroy their entire planet?" With an exhausted, sad attempt at a snarky smile, he nodded. "Yes. I did tell you I'd been busy when last I saw the Sergeant."

Despite the situation, and his obvous distress, his soldier laughed. "Hate to break it to you, love, but they're probably not going to welcome you back with open arms."

Loki nodded again with a half-hearted chuckle. "I know. I wouldn't have considered it before..."

"Before what?"

Meeting his lover's gaze, he admitted softly, "Before I learned of your connection to Rogers. I needed to know that if something happens to me, you and Eira will still have allies; someone to help and protect you."

"Nope. Uh-uh. Unacceptable." Crossing his arms over his chest, Bucky glared at him; it actually made Loki flinch and feel like a scolded child. "I just got you back! I just met our daughter. You're not running off alone on some guilt-driven suicide mission and leaving me here to navigate this completely alien world you woke me up to and raise a toddler by myself!"

With a pained, teary smile, Loki closed the gap between them and pressed his forehead lightly against Bucky's. "I was planning on asking you to join me, my love."

"...What? But..." He looked so befuddled it would have been amusing, if it wasn't so heartbreaking. Bucky was a brilliant man; in 1943, he'd been witty and sharp, and though he rarely let anyone see it, he was easily as intelligent as his idol, Howard Stark. Seeing him perpetually lost and confused, seeing the effects of decades of damage to his beautiful brain, Loki wanted to hold him close and weep; to mourn the soft-spoken genius he'd once known, though the warm, kind heart and fierce soul still remained.

Instead, he simply threaded his fingers through his lover's dark hair and kissed him before whispering, "Do you really think I ever want to let you out of my sight again?"

"Then what was all that about if anything happens to you...?"

Wishing suddenly that he hadn't said that bit aloud, Loki told him, "If it looks as though I won't be leaving, I'll immediately send you back here. Rogers cares for you; I know you'll be safe with him."

Bucky shook his head, looking frantic and helplessly confused. "Steve doesn't even know me anymore. I'm not the same-"

"Shhh. I know." He tried to smile as he brushed his lover's hair back off his face, failed, and kissed him softly again instead. "The boy who left Brooklyn all those years ago isn't the same as the man I fell in love with in Germany, much less the beautiful ghost standing before me now. Time changes everyone, as does trauma. But I've taken a little peek into Rogers' mind, and he is fiercely, blindly loyal to you. He will never let any harm come to you, no matter how different you are from the boy he knew."

"When did you read his mind?"

Smirking, Loki shrugged and replied lightly, "While he slept the other night. I've taken a little walk through the mind of everyone here, except for Banner and Barton."

Bucky smiled, looking a little perplexed, but mostly amused. "Why those two?"

"I'll never put Barton through such an invasion again, if I can avoid it," he admitted, playful smirk immediately vanishing. "Anyone who felt the touch of the scepter has already been through enough."

"And Banner?"

He'd been rather hoping to avoid that particular topic, but he should have known better. Even scrambled and traumatized, Bucky was sharp, and he didn't let anything go once it'd been brought to his attention. With a sigh, Loki grumbled, "I'd rather not risk waking the beast. Banner is frightened of me; that's enough for me. I don't need to trust these people, only to know where I stand with them."

Bucky grinned. "Do you trust anyone?"

"I trust you." The look of numb shock on his lover's face was heartbreaking. Fighting back tears, Loki hugged him tight and repeated softly, "I trust you, James."

He didn't reply. Instead, the broken soldier took a deep, shuddering breath and asked lightly, "Jotunheim is cold, right? Colder than Siberia?"

Loki smiled. "Don't worry, I won't let you freeze."

"I don't think I should go."

As Bucky stepped back, the Trickster gaped at him. "Why not?"

"I won't be of any use to you."

"Well, that's not-"

"Loki, I'm tired." He shook his head, somehow looking even more lost and broken than he had for the past two weeks. "I'm tired of killing people. I've bounced back and forth between a freezer and a fight for decades."

"I'm not going there for a fight." Gently pushing his beloved down with him, he sat on the end of the bed and cradled Bucky's metal hand between both of his own. "If you don't want to go, I won't force you to, but I'm not asking you to fight if you do. And I'm not bringing you along just to keep you close."

"Then why?"

"You're a brilliant man, James." Or at least, you were. He made sure not to voice that insidious, terribly unkind thought and simply pushed on. "And even better, you know next to nothing about the politics and prejudices of the two worlds I find myself straddling the gap between. An outside perspective may be just what is needed to finally foster peace, perhaps even spark an alliance."

Eyes wide, Bucky stared at him. "You think you can get them into an alliance? With Asgard? You can't even go to Asgard!"

"Not Asgard," Loki clarified with a little smirk. Even he couldn't quite believe what he was about to propose, but it seemed like the only sensible way forward. "I'm going to ask the Jotuns for an alliance with the Avengers."

"...Well." He nodded, still looking like a deer in headlights. "This should be interesting."

___________________________________________________ Next Masterlist

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[realityhelixcreates]

Dance of the Spheres chapter 2: Solar Samba

Chapters: 2/?

Fandom:  Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: PG 13

Warnings: drugging, kidnapping, forced marriage

Characters: Loki(Marvel), Heimdall(Marvel)

Additional Tags:  Loki Goes Overboard, But When Doesn’t Loki go Overboard, Mature Reader, Disabled Reader, Political Intrigue

Summary:  

You are the sun and I am just the planets Spinning around you Spinning around you You were too good to be true Gold plated But what's inside you?                           Fall Out Boy-Last of the Real Ones

Loki stepped into the blinding bright sunlight of their new homeland. How unlike Asgard their new world was! But it was home now, and it was only a matter of time until their ancestral splendor was rebuilt.

He was dressed in his very finest, as befitted the occasion. Heimdall, positioned at the edge of the light and the darkness, gave him a suspicious gaze.

“Far be it for me to question my liege...” He began.

“A joke?” Loki asked.

“Perhaps. But Thor will awaken. The Sleeps have never been permanent. When he wakes to find what you have done-”

“But we don't know when he will awaken.” Loki pointed out. “Until then, rulership falls to me, and since there are alliances that must be secured for the future prosperity of our people, that duty now falls to me...Oh stop looking at me like that! It was a big decision on my part as well, you know. Besides, it's better that I do it. Thor must remain free of such things, at least for a while longer. And what does it matter if I gain that much more notoriety upon the pile I already have?”

“You sound as if you are trying to convince yourself.”

“Just send me.” Loki said grumpily. “It's past time. It won't do to keep the poor woman waiting.”

                                                                              ******

“This is the place?” Agent Jad asked, pulling up to what appeared to be nothing more than a barren lot. “What a shithole.”

“Nothing there to be ruined by the blood.” Agent Browne grumbled.

“It's just a job.” Jad said. “You can't get twisted about this kind of thing. Anyway, let's get her out of the back.”

The two agents pulled you out of the back of the car, lugging your limp body to the appointed spot. They lay you down in the dirt, Browne glancing back at the car.

“What about her cane?”

“Is she really gonna need it?”

“No, I guess not. Just toss it out the window when we leave, I guess.”

A loud roaring screech filled the air around them.

“Time to go!” Jad said, both agents dashing for their car. The light from the Bifrost crashed down where they had just been; a curtain of prismatic flashes carving its distinctive mark into the empty ground. A figure appeared in the rainbow spangles, tall, with a flowing cape and curved horns.

“That's him!” Jad said, starting the car.

“Enjoy your dinner, you sick freak!” Browne shouted out the window. “You'd better pay up!”

Tires squealing, the car sped away into the night.

                                                                     ******

Loki watched the humans go, confused by their parting shouts. This was not the greeting he had expected. For one, he'd thought the area would be filled with celebrants. This was supposed to be a grand occasion. It was why he had chosen this empty place: so that it could be filled with people.

Where were they? Where were the dancers, the musicians, the food merchants, the laughing, playing little children? Why was it so dark? Why were the only other humans driving away, shouting insults? Why was this woman lying in the dirt? This wasn't what he had asked for.

There should have been celebrating. Instead, a woman had been dumped, seemingly asleep, on the hard ground at his feet, and left there all alone. Like a bag of garbage.

Something was very wrong. But Loki was alone with you now, and it seemed that no one else was coming.

Perhaps this was some strange Midgardian custom that he was yet unaware of? There were just so many, too many to keep track of, an incredibly rich tapestry of ancient, yet constantly changing cultural practices and traditions. It made for interesting study, but he hadn't learned this one yet.

Though it wasn't quite what he had hoped for, he technically still had what he wanted. You had been delivered, as agreed. He knelt beside you, touching your shoulder. Why didn't you wake?

You weren't dead; a quick check confirmed that. Just asleep. It was so very strange. He allowed himself a moment to take you in, sprawled in an ungainly pose on the hard ground. Dressed in what he believed humans in this nation considered 'business-casual', like you weren't even important. You should have been wrapped in silks, strewn with jewels. He would have to take care of that later. He hoped those disrespectful escorts of yours hadn't been rough with you; it didn't seem as if they had been properly gentle.

Well, he had come here for a reason. The platinum ring shone in his hand, catching every tiny light. This was it. The most important decision he would ever make. Every second of his life after this would be different.

He took a deep breath, and slipped the ring onto your left ring finger. The warmth of your skin activated the spell within the metal, sizing the band to your finger and dividing itself into a second band which shattered, flew across the space between you, and solidified into a new ring around his own finger.

He felt the band tighten into a comfortable fit, and with his last few moments as a free man with a free mind, he marveled at the magic-such complexity, such elegance, such grace, and such power...power beyond his, beyond any he had ever seen. Beyond even Odin.

No wonder the witch was so feared.

Then the ring finished its duplication, and the delicate runes on both flared, bringing the full spell to life.

And for the first time since he had fallen from the Bifrost, Loki was filled with...

Love.

Pure and unwavering, it bubbled joyously through his blood, fizzed in his brain. Everything he had lost to the depredations of Thanos, his followers, and especially the mind stone. Love, affection, joy, gentleness, real pleasure...all had been taken from him, twisted by the stone and replaced with empty facsimiles. Loneliness, rage, covetousness, disappointment, and bitterness. Satisfaction is not in my nature...because it had been taken from him.

He had never found any cure. While the people he had controlled with the stone suffered certain psychological effects after release, those effects had gradually faded over the years. But not for him. The corruption of the stone in him had gone on for longer, for much deeper.

But now it was over. Everything flooded him, all the things he had lost. All centered on you.

“Praise be to Gullveig.” He whispered, gathering your unconscious body in his arms. Something felt odd about one of your legs, but tears were running down his cheeks, and he couldn't pay attention. Not with you in his arms. His love.

His wife.

                                                                            ******

“It is as you said. Something is wrong.” Eir mused. “She will not wake because she has been drugged. Some kind of primitive anesthetic. Effective, but rather dangerous. I do not believe it was properly applied.”

“But why?” Loki wondered. “Human customs are baffling sometimes, aren't they? Why drug a bride into unconsciousness before sending her off?”

“Perhaps she did not want to go.”

The possibility quieted Loki. That was not a thought he had yet entertained. He didn't want to.

“There are other things.” Eir continued. “She shows some signs of ill health. It seems she has seen hard times. And then there is the leg.”

“Yes, I knew something was wrong with it.”

“Indeed. That's because it isn't there.”

“Pardon?” Loki asked in surprise. He'd been so distracted, he hadn't even noticed.

“She wears a prosthetic, also somewhat primitive. It appears to be an old injury. She has only about half of her thigh, and the pelvic bones are misshapen. Whatever injury caused this, it shattered her hip, and though it seems the pieces were put back together, they healed imperfectly. Her whole body has reshaped itself around it. She must be in pain very often.”

“Is there anything you can do?” Loki asked. He couldn't stand the thought of you suffering day in, day out. What horrible thing had happened to you? Whatever it was, he would keep you safe from anything like it.

“I can synthesize pain medicines.” Eir said. “Her body chemistry indicates that she had been taking such things, but not for a few days at least.”

“Would an Apple help?” Loki persisted.

Eir pursed her lips, remaining silent for so long, Loki thought she might not have understood.

“You will have to give her one anyway.” Eir said slowly. “But I want to make it clear that it will in no way change the shape of her body. It will preserve what is there, but her leg will remain as it is. We can build her a better prosthetic, but you will have to speak with the Artificers about that.”

“Yes. I'll get the measurements taken as soon as possible.” Loki said. “Something fit for her new station. When do you think she will wake?”

“This anesthesia should wear off within a day.” Eir said. “It's not that powerful. If I knew when it was administered, I could make a better guess. All I can suggest, my liege, is that you prepare what you need for when that happens. It might be as little as an hour, or as long as a day.”

“Thank you, lady healer. You are a boon to our people.” Loki kissed her hand. She gave him a wry little smile. “Take young Bjarkhilde with you. She's eager to be of help, and too curious about our new guest.”

Loki retrieved the adolescent girl, sending her off with orders to fetch an Artificer, to measure you for a new prosthetic leg. He envisioned a creation of high quality ceramic and iron, rich jewels to decorate it's surface. A work of art for you, even if no one else was meant to see it.

The Apple he fetched himself. They were in incredibly short supply, and no more would be grown for some time. He would deliver this in person.

You still slept deeply as he cut the Apple into slices, every now and then looking over at you and wondering. What was your name? What did your voice sound like? What color were your eyes?

Would you love him too?

The spell would not apply to you, only to someone as uniquely damaged as himself. If you had the capacity to love, the spell would not effect you.

He hoped very much that you could love him. He knew these political matches didn't always lead to romance. What was good for the kingdom wasn't always good for the individual. But he desperately wanted to try.

He set the plate of Apple slices on the table beside your bed, along with a covered glass of precious water. It was in greater supply here than expected, but it had to be gathered from around Asgards' new lands. There were no rivers or streams in the area to be diverted. But the water was there, along with all their other resources, if only they were willing to put in the effort to go out and get it.

He left your side only reluctantly, though he knew if you woke, someone would come and tell him. But he had a few other things to do. Industry was primed and ready to explode into productivity in any area he directed it. And there were a great many possibilities there!

Mining was probably going to be their greatest bringer of wealth, especially in these early years of rebuilding. This land had once been heavily volcanic, with towering mountains, and vast lava fields. The records of Midgard and the exploration of his own people had revealed strange riches, rare minerals, all that could contribute to the wealth and beauty of Asgard. All too late for Midgard to take back.

Loki wanted to prioritize the metals, the iron and titanium, and especially the platinum, with which they could create their own components and construction materials. It was too expensive and difficult to continue transporting so many goods to their remote location.

That being the case though, perhaps he ought to concentrate more on increasing the productivity of the local soil. It needed a great deal of amendment and treatment: Loki knew full well that the botanical barrenness of the area was part of the reason Midgardian authorities had agreed to let Asgard settle here. Asgard knew how to transform bare wasteland into something fruitful, and the human rulers very much wanted to see it in action.

It might also be important to focus on acquiring wealth. They had unearthed beautiful gems-bright pink spinels, brilliant peridots, spectrolites, moonstones. There was volcanic glass, mostly in green, but also some strange reds, yellows, and oranges. They had many of the components for porcelain, and other high quality ceramics, and for traditional glass as well. The wealth that could be accrued from these things could alleviate their problems with supply transport.

There were so many things to focus on, but so few bodies to throw at them. It felt like dividing that focus would simply not be fruitful enough to keep them afloat. Things were already difficult, and Loki didn't want to rely overmuch on the charity of humans.

Although, he had just recently made an important connection to a powerful nation. That should help their situation quite a bit. That was usually what these kinds of arrangements were made for. Ending hostilities, securing trade, and so on.

Perhaps he should try to reach out to Thor's friends. Most of them lived in the country he had just tied himself to, and perhaps this gesture of good faith would alleviate their wariness of Asgard's presence enough that they might be willing to help out as well.

But maybe not yet. Not until Thor had awakened.

He entered his brother's resting place, deep in the royal chamber complex, taking a seat next to his bed. He could just barely see Thor, deeply asleep, shrouded by the same golden field that had covered his father when he fell into the torpor that sustained his power.

That force had fallen on Thor now, bestowed from beyond the grave;a final gift-and insult-from Odin to the new Allfather. Although, seeing how helpless, and frankly useless Thor was right now, Loki wasn't sure he even wanted it.

“I wonder if you can hear me?” Loki mused. “Odin supposedly could, but he never responded to anything I said. Well, whatever. I will speak anyway. I want you to wake. I know, I know, I get to rule now, legitimately. And I have proven to be proficient at doing so. But I feel like it would be better to do this together. That other me did say so.”

That other him who had come out of nowhere and slashed Thanos' hamstring while he dangled by the neck from the Titan's fist. The other him who had grabbed him, his brother, Heimdall, and a few others who weren't quite dead yet and cloaked them all with invisibility, who had sent them to the escape shuttle with the rest of the survivors, who had hissed to Loki: “Do it right this time, stay with him and do it right!” and, “Odin didn't lie, he just didn't realize he was telling the truth!”, and “Fix yourself, whatever it takes!”

And then was nowhere to be found.

Loki couldn't help but feel like something different was supposed to happen back then. After his other self left, he had felt even more wrong, more empty and out of place.

Fix yourself, whatever it takes.

Well, he was working on it.

“I told you some months ago that I was contemplating taking a bride.” Loki continued. “She has arrived today. It was a little strange, I must admit, but I can't begin this relationship by judging her customs, can I?

I've had rooms built for her. I tried to make them beautiful, inviting. I hope she likes them. I wonder if she is afraid? Humans have many different cultures, but their nobility doesn't seem so different. Political pawns from birth, and they know it. Just like myself. But just because you know you will one day marry a stranger, does not mean it is not still frightening. After all, some human rulers became famous for how poorly they treated their wives. If you saw that a man had his wives killed, and yet people continued sending their daughters to him, would you not dread when it came to be your turn?

I haven't killed any wives. I haven't had any. But I have killed so many of her people, and they cannot have forgotten that. Was she frightened when they told her? She must have come into this thinking she was to be wed to a murderer and a madman. I want to put that notion out of her head as soon as possible, but it would help quite a bit, I think, if you were awake.”

Thor had fallen into this deep sleep almost immediately after they had settled into their new lands. Rulership had fallen to Loki then, and he had spearheaded the building of their new home himself. They had built as close to the Asgardian aesthetic as they could with the materials at hand, but there had still been a lot sacrificed to compromise, lack of time, and the rugged environment of their new home.

Thor had no idea what their growing kingdom even looked like, or the innovations they had come up with in order to survive.

He would be in for many surprises when he finally woke.

He had better wake.

#danceofthespheres #loki (marvel) #loki x reader

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Return to Me - Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-One: Come Home With Me

A/N: I’m sorry that every chapter I bring you heartbreak, dear reader. Alas, this is where this chapter shall take us again. I hope you all enjoy, and just because I haven’t said it in a while, this story will have a happy ending! Thank you for sticking with me thus far, and please don’t be too mad as I drag you through a few more rough spots. Let me know what you think, if you want to be tagged, anything! Love you all! 

Pairing: Poe Dameron Word Count: 3,426 Synopsis: After discovering the reader’s location, Poe takes off immediately to bring her back where she belongs.

Tag List:  @xeniarocks, @too-many-baes, @araceli91103, @idocarealot, @treblebeth, @treestarrrrrrrr, @thescarletknight2014, @charlottie2998, @ibikus, @mellow-f1, @mrsdaamneron, @trustme3-13, @missjess71, @ella-solei, @minelskede, @gleigh42, @usuallyweepingnacho, @givemethatgold, @and-claudia, @constantdisgrace, @wordsinwinters, @readingvogueonprivetdrive, @trshbb, @kaitlynw011, @ihave2muchtimeonmyhands, @fairytalesforever, @thanos-jeep, @mixedfandxms, @pastelbunny1501, @emotionalcal, @danicalifxrnia, @getyourselfaunicorn, @spider-starry, @jimhalpertcanbuymelove, @angelicaxhouston, @roserrys, @blushingwueen, @americasass-romanoff, @commondazy, @throughparisallthroughrome, @ms-dont-care , @bubblegumcat229 , @barnesdameron​

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“I’m going to get her,” Poe said, shaking his wet head. Once he heard the news, he raced to his quarters to shower and change, not expecting that anyone would fight him for the role of bringing you back.

“Why? If she wanted to hear from you, she would have reached out to you, not to me,” Nové argued.

“She only did that so you would leave her alone! You kept messaging her.”

“At least I was trying to find her!” Nové yelled, staring up at him. It had been Nové’s millions of messages that finally broke you, making you respond to her that you were fine and to be left alone. After descrambling your heavily encrypted transmission, they pinpointed that you were on Taris.

“I’m going to get her,” he said firmly.

“I think it would be better if I went,” she said. Poe sighed, looking into her eyes. “I need to apologize, too.”

“I have more experience with this, I know how to get in and get out.”

“Oh, so you’ll drown the place she’s staying in, too?” Nové asked. Poe opened his mouth to argue as Leia stepped back into the room.

“Enough,” she said tiredly. “Y/N doesn’t want to be found, nor come back. Whoever goes to get her has got to do a lot of convincing. I’m afraid,” she said, looking to Nové, “Poe would be better suited.” She rolled her eyes in response.

“Come on!”

“We’ve got to act before she moves again. Y/N still loves Poe, I know that,” she said, glancing over at Poe. “She left because of what Henri and Osira did to them, I think he is the one who can convince her to come back.”

“Fine,” Nové said, folding her arms across her chest. “But when he fails, I’m going to get her.” Leia sighed.

“Fine. Now, enough arguing and let’s get her back. No flooding this time,” she said, looking to Poe.

“Understood, General.” She gave him a nod as he walked down to the hangar, Nové at his feet, telling him how much better she’d be for this mission. He walked up to his X-Wing, sighing as Nové started on another rant about how much his X-Wing stood out, and if they wanted stealth, they should send her.

“Nové,” he said, turning to look back at her with wide eyes. She seemed to understand what he was asking before he even could say it. She sighed.

“Just, get her back,” she said.

“I will.”

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The regular rattle of passing freighters woke you from your sleep. Taris was noisy, much noisier than Naboo, even noisier than Coruscant had been on the day you visited. But you were in the lower levels of the planet where smugglers and thieves lived among the lower class of the planet.

It was dark and dirty in the one room you had rented, but it was secluded. No one would come look for you here. Of all the places you had hidden out since your running away, this one felt the safest. At least, the safest from the First Order and the Resistance who were both scouring the galaxy for you. You kept a blaster by your bed and had fitted locks to the door to keep the unwelcome from trying to break in, which they did.

You showered and changed for the day, into one of the few outfits you had traded for one of the elaborate gowns you had taken with you. You had spent the day before scavenging a crashed ship for parts, and today you were going to try and sell what you found for a few credits.

When you ran away, the first place you went to was back to Naboo, but into the Gungan underworld. The Gungan representative, Jobee Qod, let you stay for a few days and gave you some credits for your travels. You couldn’t stay anywhere for long. You drew attention to yourself. Any place that was good for hiding out, getting lost, already had their needed number of recluses, they didn’t need anymore. The more poking they did into who you were, the quicker you had to leave.

As you stepped out of your room, you looked through the thick fog that covered this level of the planet, making sure that no one was there to stop you from travelling lower to the smuggler you had become acquainted with a few days before. Just as you were about to take a step, you saw something strange parked far off.

Peering closer, you saw that it was an X-Wing, too shiny to belong to anyone around here, with a bright orange droid in the back.

“Fuck,” you said, turning back to your room. You had to leave now. You started to grab the few things you had strewn across the room when you heard someone clear their throat. You reached for the blaster at your hip when you remembered you left it next to your bed.

“Looking for this?”

“Poe,” you said, looking up at him, standing by the now opened window next to your bed. You stood carefully, watching him. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” he asked with a laugh, tossing the blaster down on your bed, “I’m here for you.”

“Why?”

“Y/N,” he said with a scoff, moving closer to you. You took a step back. “You need to come home.”

“I’m not coming home,” you said, shaking your head. “My home is here now.” Poe looked around the room, nodding his head.

“Love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Shut up,” you said, walking past him to pull your few things out of the closet. You began packing them into a bag when you felt his hand on your hip.

“Y/N,” he said again, his voice softer than before. You turned to look at him, your chests only a few inches apart.

“Why are you here?” you asked quietly. Tears had begun to threaten in your eyes. You couldn’t look at him anymore, and instead focused on his chest.

“Why are you here?” he asked, bringing up your chin to look at him, his movement soft.

“Did you really expect me to go back to Naboo after everything?”

“No,” he said, moving an inch closer to you, taking your hands in his, “I expected you to stay with me.” His eyes were warm and gentle, and for a moment, you almost let them win and bring you into him, until you remembered your fight.

“I thought you were mad at me,” you said, pulling away and walking to the other side of your tiny room. “Because of Lin Ral.”

“I don’t care that you kissed him,” he said, walking towards you slowly. “Suralinda and I did more than that.” You recoiled slightly.

“Did you come here to tell me that?”

“No,” he said softly. “I just need to tell you the truth, so that you know I’m not lying when I say we need you to come back. I need you to come back.”

“You fucked Sura?” you asked, ignoring the sweetness in his voice. He sighed and nodded his head. “I knew it,” you said, pointing in his face.

“What?” he asked with a laugh, a nervous one, but still a laugh.

“I knew that you always liked her,” you said stubbornly, sitting down on your bed, “And when she blew up at the party . . . Whatever, I just knew.” Poe walked towards you and motioned to the bed, asking permission to sit. You rolled your eyes but nodded.

“Y/N, baby,” he started, his voice low and sweet, “I have always liked Sura, yes. She’s one of my oldest friends. But sleeping with her was one of the dumbest things I ever did, trumped only by letting you go,” he said, bringing your eyes to him. “I was lonely during those years we were apart, but I broke it off because, and I need you to hear me on this,” he said, taking your hands in his, “I love you. With every part of me, I love you, and I need you. Not just for the Resistance, or the Republic, or the million other things that require our help, I just need you with me forever.”

“Poe,” you started, shaking your head.

“If I had my mother’s ring, I’d give it to you now, but—”

“I have it,” you said quietly, distractedly.

“You what?”

“I have the ring still.” You stood up and went to the bedside table, pulling out the ring on a necklace from the drawer.

“You kept it,” he said with a smile, taking the necklace in his hands as you sat back down.

“Of course I did.” He looked you in the eyes, a sweet smile on his face. “I love you, too,” you began, “Those kisses with Lin were stupid and heat of the moment things. I—”

“It’s alright,” he said with a smile. “So, what do you say?” he asked, pulling the ring off of the chain. You looked between him and the ring until it became too much and you covered your face with your hands as you cried. “Y/N,” he said softly, pulling you into his chest, “What is it?”

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” you said, not moving from his chest. “You’re not supposed to be proposing to me again. We’re not supposed to be apart. I’m so sorry for all of this, Poe.”

“Hey, this isn’t your fault,” he said, moving you back so he could look into your eyes.

“I believed them. I should have known that it was just another way to get us away from each other.”

“Y/N, neither of us knew,” he said gently. “It’s not your fault.”

“I couldn’t stay around them. And with everything happening with Broden,” you shook your head. “I’m sorry, for all of it.”

“Me too. If I had done things differently, I would have run after you the second you left that meeting. I was angry, too. Your parents messed up, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix all of this,” he said, squeezing your hand.

“Us getting married again isn’t going to fix all of our problems,” you said.

“It’d fix the biggest one.” You brushed his cheek.

“I’m not coming back.” He started to talk again but you put a hand over his mouth. “Please, let me finish. There’s no end to this. We defeat the First Order and rebuild the Republic. What happens then? A couple of years from now a new group rises up and we’re back where we were. I’m sick of fighting, Poe. I don’t want to lose you again. If we go back, we’re going to be separated again. I know we will. I don’t know for how long, but I’m not going to risk it. Stay here,” you said, rubbing his arms. “Stay here with me.”

“Stay here?”

“Well, not here,” you said with a laugh, “We can find somewhere else together. Away from everyone.”

“Y/N—”

“Just, think about it, okay?” you asked, scooting closer to him. He sighed, looking at you seriously, but nodded.

“Okay.” You cupped his cheek and brought him to your lips, kissing him gently. He wrapped a firm arm around your waist, keeping you close. He pulled away, your teeth pulling at his lip to keep him close. “This place really is disgusting, you know?”

“You should have seen the place I stayed at on Felucia.”

“You should see my new quarters on Chandrila.”

“Chandrila?” you asked, shaking your head as you moved back, aware that Poe still wasn’t done convincing you just yet.

“Suralinda’s friend came through. We found the perfect base to finally take care of the First Order.”

“Hmm,” you said, nodding your head.

“I think you’d really like it there.”

“Poe.”

“Hey, I’m thinking about staying. Promise me you’ll think about coming back.”

“Fine.”

That night, after showing Poe around town, you crawled into your tiny bed with him and made passionate love. He fell asleep before you, but his arms still held tight to you. You focused on his eyelashes, moving gently as he dreamed, the outline of his nose, and his wondrous lips. Staring at him then, you almost would have gone with him the next morning.

When you went to sleep, since breaking the bridge between you and Kylo Ren, you dreamt again. But these weren’t just dreams like normal people had. These were visions into his mind or yours, memories that replayed on a horrifying loop. And eventually, these dreams would start to look like the places you were staying, and when that happened, you knew you had to leave. No matter what kind of credits you had, or a location in mind, you had to go, you had to leave until you could get your mind back under control.

That night was no different.

Your dreams started off normally. You were once again running through the fields outside of your childhood home. You turned around and saw Poe running after you, a smile on his face. You played chase with him for a little while, but the next time you looked back the clouds had changed. The sky was dark, the flowers around you dying, and the one chasing you wasn’t Poe, but Broden.

You pulled yourself from that dream, only to be thrown into another. Once again you were staring at Poe, but this time he was strapped to a chair. His face was hot, bloody. He was being tortured. You took a step around the room and saw Kylo Ren standing behind him, his hand outstretched.

“Interesting, isn’t it?” Broden whispered in your ear.

“No!”

You were out of the torture room. You were once again looking at Broden’s face.

“They haven’t found her either,” Kylo Ren said, his voice ruminating from what felt like your own lips.

“No. And as long as you stay in tuned with her mind, we’ll find her first.”

“It would be simpler if she stopped running,” he complained.

“We’ll send her right to us,” Broden said with a small smile. “If we hurt the ones she loves: her handmaidens, her parents, General Organa, or even that precious ex-husband of hers,” he spat, “She’ll have no choice but to come to us.”

You ripped out of your dream, screaming slightly. Sitting up, panting, there was a thick layer of sweat down your back. Poe shot up at your scream and looked at you wide-eyed.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked sleepily, sitting up and beginning to rub your back. You could only shake your head and fall into his chest.

“Did you have another dream?” he asked, leaning to place a kiss to your forehead. You pulled away quickly and got out of bed, your chest heaving with your heavy breaths. “What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing,” you said, waving your hands, “You need to leave.”

“Wh– why?”

“You need to get far away from me,” you sputtered, pacing. Poe tried to approach you, but you kept stepping away. Tears were beginning to flow down your face, and all he wanted to do was comfort you.

“What are you talking about?”

“My mind connected with Kylo Ren's again,” you said carefully. Poe let out a sigh. “He was talking to Broden.”

“What does that have to do with me leaving?”

“They want Naboo and they want me,” you said, pulling away from him. You walked across the room, your hand running through your hair as you tried to find the right words. “And they said they'd use the people I love to get to me.”

“I'm not leaving you,” he said immediately. You laughed bitterly, shaking your head as he approached again.

“There's no choice! I won't let them hurt you, not again. Kylo Ren almost killed you, if Finn hadn't have saved you . . .” you trailed off, not even wanting to think about what could have happened. Poe was silent for a few moments before coming up to you again.

“You can't push me away, Y/N. Not after everything we've been through.”

“We've only been through it because of me. Because I'm manipulable and stupid.”

“You're not. This is Broden's fault and I will kill him for what he's done to you, but you don't have to take the blame.”

“I'm not risking this, Poe.”

“So, what? You’ll go into hiding again? Be alone for the rest of your life?” he asked.

“At least you'd be safe!”

“You're not thinking clearly,” he said, frowning. You took his cheeks in your hand and smiled sadly at him. You loved him so much. You had the moment you met, and you were sure you would until the day you died, but war isn't a time for love.

“I've never been surer of a decision. When Kylo Ren tortured you, he was looking for information about me, wasn't he?” He sighed and put his hands over yours.

“A little.”

“And what did he find?”

“Nothing, really. I hadn't seen you in two years.”

“I can’t fight him off like I used to. The closer we’ve grown,” you said, taking his hand with a frown, “The more of a risk we become to each other. Think of what he could find now, if you were captured again. You might not be able to escape this time.”

“I'm not discussing this,” he said firmly.

“And I can’t lose you,” you said.

“Then don’t go away. Stay with me. Come back to the Resistance. We’ll keep fighting.” You sighed, looking into his eyes.

“Poe—”

“We’re better together, we’ve always been.”

“We always were,” you corrected. “I’m not going to go back and watch you get killed. I know you won’t come with me,” you said, shaking your head as the tears continued to stream down your face, “You love the Resistance, and if you need to go back, you have to do it without me.”

“Please don’t do this again,” he said, equally upset and annoyed.

“The First Order doesn’t want us together, maybe there’s a reason for that.” He shook his head.

“You think you’re manipulable? What are they going to think when you roll over at the first sign of danger?”

“Sign of danger? All of our lives have been nothing but signs of danger! The entire time we were together, I would wake up in cold sweats when you were gone, worried about if you would ever come back. I can’t put myself through that again. And I won’t let the First Order get me. I’m afraid I don’t have a choice.”

“No, you’re just afraid,” he said, shaking his head. You sighed and looked at him painfully. “Are you ever going to come back to me?” he asked weakly.

“I don’t think in this life,” you said with a sad smile. He nodded.

“Alright.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he only shook his head. He slammed the door shut on his way out, leaving you alone.

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Poe didn’t want to talk to anyone as he departed his ship. He didn’t even tell BB-8 what happened, and the little droid had asked a lot. He just wanted to get back to his chambers and forget everything that had just happened. He had almost gotten to the hall of his quarters when Leia called out to him.

“Poe,” she said gently, clearly noticing that you weren’t with him. He sighed and looked back at her.

“I’m sorry, General,” he said, facing her. “Turns out you were wrong. I wasn’t the one who could convince her to come back. I don’t think anyone is.”

“But—”

“You were right about one thing, though. I thought she loved me, too. Turns out she loves me so much, she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

#poe dameron #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #sw imagine #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fanfiction #sw #sw fanfic #sw fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #230: THE LAST FAREWELL!

April, 1983

“Yellowjacket no more!”

Aw, dang! Hank got raptured!

Captain America, Thor, and Hawkeye is a weird collection of characters to be staring forlornly at the empty Yellowjacket uniform.

Thor hasn’t really expressed much about the Yellowjacket situation in comparison. You think they could squeeze Wasp into the shot. Just her ex-husband is all. She’s just the team leader is all.

Put Wasp on the cover, you cowards.

So last times on Avengers: Hank Pym got himself kicked out of the Avengers and out of his marriage and pretty much deserved it. He was tricked into committing treason by his arch-nemesis Egghead and sent to jail. He sat in jail for, like, a really long time. The wheels really spun on the arc.

He was kicked out of the Avengers/walked before he could be kicked out in #213. He was arrested at the end of issue #217. His trial was in issue #228.

He was kidnapped from his trial by the Masters of Evil. Then in #229, he turned the tables on them all in quite a satisfying manner and slugged Egghead in the egg head.

Then Hawkeye manslaughtered him. He’s dead.

Hawkeye arrowed the science gun to stop Egghead from shooting Hank in the back and then the science gun backfired and microwaved that egg.

This makes Hank’s victory a little bittersweet for him.

Hank Pym: “I defeated the Masters of Evil single-handed... but more than anything, I wanted to bring Egghead to justice. He was a thorn in my side for so many years. I was never able to defeat him for long, not when I was Ant-Man... and not even after I became Giant-Man! He bedeviled me in every identity I assumed. He did me the greatest wrong when I was Yellowjacket. I’d already ruined my Avengers career, when he tricked me into committing a federal crime!”

Hawkeye too is set to thinking by what happened. Maybe humming a bit of Bohemian Rhapsody to himself too.

Hawkeye: “This is unreal! I’ve never killed a man before! I never planned on anything like this happening! Yeah, but I can’t feel sorry for Egghead! If anyone deserved this, he did! My brother Barney bought the farm, stopping Egghead from killing the Avengers. And if I hadn’t acted when I did, Hank Pym would be dead! If I had to do it again... I would!”

Hawkeye: ‘Eh, fuck ‘em!’

hah.

But Hank laments that with Egghead dead, so goes his chance of proving his innocence by turning him over to the law.

Hank Pym: “Egghead was always getting away from me, Hawkeye. It’s almost as if he’s pulled the ultimate escape!”

Fun fact: There doesn’t seem to be an Ultimate Egghead! Why would there need to be? Even more than in the 616, Ultimate Hank Pym is by far his own worst enemy.

Hawkeye basically tells Hank to buck up and that there’s basically incriminating evidence lying all over the place.

He doesn’t say it but even Egghead’s dead deceased corpse is kind of like evidence. Evidence that he wasn’t dead until recently.

Captain Marvel shows up because someone finally came looking for Hawkeye.

Hank is surprised, much like others have been that this is Captain Marvel. He knew the old guy, the super saiyan. And I guess he didn’t hear there was a new one.

Hawkeye: “We’ve had a few changes since you went in the slammer, Hank. C.M. is an Avenger in training.”

Huh. Captain Marvel doesn’t even react to the dead body. Then again, there’s a lot of bodies lying all around the place.

And while Hawkeye is introducing the new Captain Marvel to Hank, one of those bodies stirs.

Moonstone has regained consciousness and assesses the situation. She could blast Hank, Captain Marvel, and Hawkeye with her coherent light pew pew but that’d just weaken her.

Like in the previous issue, Moonstone is one of the few supervillains who knows when to fold ‘em.

So she decides to skeedaddle while the getting is good but whoops.

Getting wasn’t good.

The rest of the Avengers have shown up and cornered her while she was pondering.

So Moonstone decides ‘eh fuck it’ and promises to spill all the beans if it gets her a lighter sentence.

So days later, the mostly off-screen trial of Hank Pym finally ends.

A loooot of new evidence suddenly popping up led the prosecution to withdraw all charges.

The lead prosecution witness, Trish Starr, suddenly reversing her testimony after putting on Tony Stark’s magical mental-scan helmet kind of tanked the case, really.

Wait, they really did just admit the use of the helmet in the trial when its new, unsubstantiated technology whose inventor disappeared?

Damn, I knew the Marvel legal system was wild (considering comic books as legal documents as explored in Dan Slott’s run on the character) but still!

Although it makes sense. Egghead got Trish to incriminate Hank by using the bionic arm to alter her memories. The helmet Tony invented undoes that kind of alteration. This connects the dots quite reasonably. Glad Stern was paying attention when preparing to finish this arc.

Moonstone and Beetle confirming that Egghead was using Hank as a tool also helps.

In fact, not only did the prosecution drop all their charges, the judge also dismissed all the charges. Which feels redundant? I dunno much about law, really. Just the She-Hulk version of law. Which, again, uses comic books as legal documents.

Apparently happening at around the same time, Hawkeye also had his day in court.

Literally a day.

It wasn’t a trial, just a hearing to investigate whether he was guilty of wrong-doing in the death of Egghead.

Newsman with a newsplan: “Though he was threatened with contempt-of-court charges a number of times -- Hawkeye was found innocent of any wrong-doing in the death of Dr. Elihas Starr -- the self-styled Egghead.”

Yeah, I bet Hawkeye was threatened with contempt-of-court a bunch. And I bet you anything that at least one of the times he rejoined with “No, you’re out of order! This whole damn courtroom is out of order!”

And then the judge probably just sighed.

I mean, look at that unbelievable Hawkeye in the bottom left panel.

Anyway, I think Stern must have felt a little pent up having to start his Avengers run finishing off someone else’s story, especially having to devote a recap issue to it since the plot had been interspersed with fill-ins.

Because in the middle of concluding this arc, he throws in two plot beats that I have to assume are to set up stuff of his own.

A day after the trial, the Beetle is being escorted to a cell in a Western Pennsylvanian federal maximum security prison when he bumps into another prisoner.

What neither the Beetle or the guard notices is that the bump to “Sam Smithers” has peeled off some skin on his arm and revealed THAT HE IS ACTUALLY MADE OF WOOD!

Suspect possibly a living puppet.

And elsewhere but samewhen, IN SPACE, specifically on Saturn’s moon Titan, Thanos’ brother Eros is basically complaining about being bored.

When Captain Mar-vell died of having a lot of cancer, he asked Eros to look after Mar-vell’s... uh... -google- robot girlfriend?? Elysius.

Eventual mom to Genis and Phyla-Vells.

Soooooo, Eros has done as Mar-vell’s deathbed wish was and spent an agonizing several consecutive months hanging out in Titan’s beautiful inside forests and just having a real hard time caring about one thing for such a long period of time.

I’m not even being unfair to him.

Eros: “This is the first time in ages that I’ve spent so many consecutive months on Titan! I have ever been a wanderer! I’ve sought out adventure across the wide cosmos. Frankly, I have known romance on more worlds than most sentient beings could imagine. That’s part of the problem. Our friendship has been wonderful, but I’m having a hard time adjusting to it. My previous relationships have all been of a fleeting nature.”

‘Look its not you, its me’ except for attempting to dump someone as a friend, instead of romantically.

Not dump, even. He just kind of wants to ditch her and is asking in a roundabout way if she’s emotionally stable enough to ditch.

She goes, yeah sure, go off and have fun. And maybe she’s getting tired of his company too.

Elysius: “Look... you’ve been a great comfort to me these last few months, but now I need to be alone for a while with my thoughts.”

Geez, how clingy has he been this whole time while desperately wanting to be anywhere else?

Anyway, since she’s fine with him fucking off, he does fuck off. Right to the Hall of Science.

Where Eros’ dad is like ‘oh ffs’ when Eros tells him that he needs to use the LIVING COMPUTER Isaac to look up planets with the highest adventure potential.

Mentor of Titan is a man deeply disappointed in both of his sons for very different reasons.

Anyway, would you really be surprised if I told you that Earth was in the Top 3 planets in known space for adventure?

You wouldn’t, right?

Meanwhile, back at the plot, Hank Pym is on a boat with Trish Starr.

She wants to apologize for that time she incriminated him but Hank isn’t going to blame her for being as much a pawn in Egghead’s scheme as he was.

Trish: “Yes, uncle was like that all of his life. I think he really enjoyed using people.”

And she remembers the first time they met in Marvel Feature #5, where Egghead tried to drain her mind to power his machines. Because. Batteries hadn’t been invented? Because he’s just not happy unless he’s screwing over someone else?

Second one sounds likeliest.

She also remembers the time he car bombed her car but siphoned out most of the gas first.

Trish: “He didn’t want to kill me... only maim me. Nice guy, my uncle.”

Yeah. Its stories like that why its only Trish and Hank also Fred Sloan on a boat at Egghead’s funeral. Yeah, by the way, this is basically Egghead’s funeral.

Fred is only here for Trish.

Hank reacts to Fred so I wondered if he’s important in some way or if Hank recognized him but I checked the wiki and his main importance seems to be... this issue? So I don’t know why Hank reacts to the guy.

So Fred is just here for Trish. Trish is here out of duty, since she was Egghead’s only known family. And Hank is also only here out of duty but more archnemesis ‘can’t believe that asshole is dead and I don’t even get to feel good about it’ duty. I assume.

Hank even gets the honor (?) of laying Egghead to rest. By dumping his ashes into New York harbor.

Mostly because it doesn’t seem like Trish wants to?

So Hank quotes some Mark Twain and dumps the ashes.

Hank Pym: “‘Death... the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all -- the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.’ Farewell, Egghead.”

Trish: “It’s awful to say this -- but I can’t find it in myself to be sorry. I think I’m glad he’s dead.”

And that’s Egghead’s legacy. Mourned by no one. And his death is only not cheered because the only people that cared feel shitty about feeling glad he’s dead.

ANYWAY, there’s some other loose ends to tie up.

So Hank takes a taxi to the Avengers Mansion and I guess finally explicitly explains why the mansion has seemed to change positions over time?

Hank Pym: “I never thought I’d be coming here again. The place has certainly changed since the day Jan and I met here with Iron Man, Thor, and the Hulk to draft the Avengers charter and by-laws. And I still recall the time Iron Man and Thor moved the mansion back from the street to give us more privacy. What a project that was!”

Sounds like a heck of a noodle incident, Hank.

... Why just Thor and Iron Man? Did they... did they literally just shove the mansion back from the street? ... There’s... basements and caves under there. How does that work? That seems like a massive architectural project.

Hank, pls, I need to know more details. You can’t just drop that information and casually stroll away. HANK!

Captain Marvel meets Hank at the door and escorts him inside, captain marveling at how calm Hank is despite everything he’s been through.

Hank shows up to the Avengers meeting and-

Oh god, She-Hulk looks like she wants to punch the suppressed emotions right out of Jan. She-Hulk, pls.

So, Wasp is super formal, calling Hank Dr. Pym and telling him that they want to use the mento-scan helmet to see if he was under outside influence when he did all the very bad things he did.

All of the Avengers are harboring their own concerns.

She-Hulk: “I’ve read legal briefs that were more informal! She’s cool on the surface, but inside -- ! Jannie, why are you doing this to yourself?!”

Are you guys already at the cute nickname stage of your friendship or is that just the way She-Hulk be?

Cap is worried that this is rough on Jan but that she’s doing what she needs to do as the Avengers chairwoman. But he’s more worried about the absence of Iron Man who is still missing and who ignored three calls to assemble.

Thor is just internally like ‘just do the helmet, my dude.’

Hawkeye is literally biting his lip at the tension.

Hawkeye: “Jan divorced Hank after his last breakdown. If we find out that he wasn’t to blame, what’s it gonna do to the both of ‘em? I hate this! That stupid court hearing was a breeze in comparison.”

Huh, Hawkeye has a point. Even if outside influence is proven, its not as straightforward as Jan and Hank instantly getting back together, no harm no foul. There was harm. And the problems with their relationship were deeper than one incident. But it would also create this possible expectation that they should get back together because the specific incident wasn’t Hank’s fault.

And Captain Marvel is still looking at this from an outsiders’ perspective.

Captain Marvel: “They’re really hurting over this... all of them! They all care so very, very much. If I ever become a fully active Avenger, I pray that I can live up to their example.”

So Hank very calmly agrees to use the helmet. But...

Hank Pym: “Sorry... no outside influences. It would have changed a lot of things if there had been, wouldn’t it? But no, I made my own mistakes... and I have to live with them.”

Thiiiiis was the best decision for the story arc. It may seem, in retrospect, the worst decision in the long run, but I can respect the story for standing by what it has done and standing by the growth Hank has had as a result of everything that happened.

I think a lot of more modern marvel comics have gone a little wild with letting the heroes do all kinds of dubious things and also die because it can be easily undone. It was a Skrull, they were being mind-controlled, it was an AU Nazi version of them created by a cosmic cube child. Or by giving the hero some big redemptive moment like Iron Man wiping his mind to make up for doing Civil War. Or Iron Man dying to make up for Civil War 2. You can explore whatever scenarios you want without worrying about dealing with the consequences long-term.

But in this era of Marvel, they were concerned with the long-term. Not to say that there weren’t cop-outs back in this day too. But since books were expected to keep going indefinitely instead of being cancelled and relaunched, there’s less of a sense of ‘this thing is only here to play with for a little while.’ If you wrote a thing, another writer was expected to follow up on it.

And I miss that a little.

So not giving a cop-out bullshit thing that undoes Hank’s actions was bad in the long run for his image as a character. But that’s a long way from now problem, exacerbated by writers like Chuck Austin and Mark Millar who wanted to wallow in it.

For an arc where Hank fell from grace and proved himself again, taking ownership of what a garbage fire his life can be was necessary.

One among many reasons I probably won’t like the Crossing when I get to it, haha.

With Hank’s actions proven as being Hank’s actions, Hank says there’s one more loose end that he wants to help tie off.

He wants to participate as witness when the Avengers hold a court of inquiry for Hawkeye killing Egghead.

This comes as an absolute surprise to Hawkeye, who I guess never read the bylaws. Which honestly, is very in-character for him.

But it being brought up, he insists that all he has to do is enter the findings of the state judge and be done with it.

Hank insists he participate though.

Hank Pym: “Hawkeye is faced with charges because he acted in my defense. It’s only right that I act in his.”

So, the Avengers go to the first floor library, which is apparently the court of inquiry room. I feel like we’re suddenly getting a lot of details about the layout of the Avengers Mansion in recent issues.

So Wasp convenes the court all formal style, so formal style that Hawkeye thinks that stickler Cap(tain America) couldn’t have done a better job. The purpose of the court of inquiry is to determine the validity of the charge of “unreasonable use of deadly force” and determine what if any proper disciplinary action should be taken.

I think Hawkeye is annoyed at having to go through with this (read the bylaws, my dude) because when Wasp asks if he has anything to add to his claim of innocence of the charge, he says he already gave the court copies of the court transcript that cleared him of the same charge, but also decides to speechify a little, because he wasn’t accused of contempt of court enough today.

Hawkeye: “I have already given the chair copies of the transcript of a hearing of the state courts... a hearing which found me not guilty of the same charge. And I have something else to say as well!”

“I don’t deny that my actions caused the death of Egghead. But in no way did I use undue force! I found Hank Pym in mortal danger, and I used the necessary means to save him... period. After all, we are supposed to be the Avengers, right?”

Luckily for Hawkeye, the Avengers are more willing to put up with him than a state court so Jan just goes ‘ok, noted.’

Captain Marvel also has a minor change of heart on Hawkeye. I don’t think we’ve gotten her in-depth feelings on him before (although he did get pissy about her joining the team, we didn’t see her response to that) but she’s impressed because she thought he had more wind than conviction but is seeing that isn’t so. And she’s also impressed by Serious Mode Jan who she thought was kind of flighty.

Captain Monica Marvel seeing all kinds of new sides of the Avengers lately.

Also, this isn’t important and you won’t be able to see what I mean unless I included more caps than I wanted to, but in the panel establishing the court of inquiry, Monica is just standing off to the side. But in the next panel she appears in, she’s moved over to sit on a couch instead.

I think its a framing thing but its still kind of funny to imagine her going ‘wait why am I standing up’ and heading for the comfy couch.

With Hawkeye’s statement given, Wasp invites Hank Pym to speak his piece.

And Hank gets up and gives an entirely unnecessary but probably appreciated defense of Hawkeye.

Hank Pym: “Ladies and gentlemen... I have not always been on the friendliest of terms with Hawkeye. Point of fact, we nearly came to blows a number of times... back in the days when I was an Avenger. But in all the time I’ve known him, Hawkeye has never used undue force.”

“I realize that this inquiry is little more than a formality. I have no doubt that you will find in his behalf. He did, as he said, act only in my defense. Unlike my own recent case before you, there is not the slightest hint of misconduct or negligence. The only thing Hawkeye is guilty of is being a good Avenger.”

“When I last spoke before this body, at my court-martial, I was not in a rational state of mind. I was unfit to be an Avenger. You wisely expelled me. I never expected to speak before you again. And now, I can think of no finer final statement than this... It has been my sincere honor to have known Hawkeye’s fellowship... as it has to have known yours.”

Okay. So. Half a defense of Hawkeye. And half... just a general good-bye and a demonstration that he actually does know how to deliver a defense at a court-martial. Cool.

I imagine if he had a mic, he would have dropped it.

Probably not, actually. Hank isn’t that exact blend of cool and inconsiderate for a mic drop.

Jarvis intercepts Hank on his way out and asks that he come with him to the second floor study. Jarvis has taken the liberty of gathering up the personal items Hank just kind of left in the mansion and packing them for him.

One suitcase has a bunch of Hank’s clothes that he had stashed in the mansion over the years. Including some wacky ties for wacky tie Fridays and a shirt that Hank had just plumb lost.

The other suitcase is a spare Yellowjacket outfit. In case Hank ever needs it.

Then Hank and Jarvis shake hands, Hank thanking Jarvis for everything that he’s done for him and the Avengers. He asks Jarvis to take care of himself because he knows he doesn’t have to ask him to take care of the Avengers.

This is a very touching scene. Its so touching that Jarvis excuses himself to go get misty eyed.

This is a Jarvis appreciation blog because I appreciate Jarvis as well.

Then, as Hank heads back down the staircase, he is intercepted by Thor, Captain America, and Hawkeye.

Yeah, the court of inquiry resolved off-screen because of how forgone a conclusion it was.

The three Avengers basically fall all over themselves to pat Hank on the back. Hank actually looks somewhat panicked by the positive affirmation.

That’s some mixture of funny and sad that I can’t identify.

Hawkeye tells Hank how much he appreciated his unnecessary defense. Thor clasps Hank’s shoulder and tells him he’s a class act, but in Thor-y words. And Cap extends an offer for whatever the Avengers can do to help Hank get back on his feet.

Hank thanks him for the offer but he’s already received an offer from a small research foundation in the Midwest.

Seems like getting exonerated of a treason charge is the best resume of all. That and Hank’s actual impressive resume.

But Cap has some stuff to work out re: Hank because he starts off on the stuff he put on the back burner back in that Ghost Rider issue.

Cap(tain America): “Hank... I know Iron Man would agree, if he were here, that we’re all sorry about the way things worked out. We should have realized the pressures you’d been under, prior to your breakdown. I was group leader at the time! I should have -- !”

Hank Pym: “Hold it right there, Cap! What I did, I did to myself! If I could have admitted that my problems existed... If I’d been willing to open up to you folks... Well, ‘if’ can be a big word sometimes. The fact of the matter is, I screwed up. And you did the only thing you could do! I don’t blame any of you.”

Hank has boarded the personal responsibility train and goddammit he’s riding it to the end of the line!

Good for him. Good clarity for the arc to have in its last issue.

But having started to slightly shout at the Avengers that he’s taking responsibility dammit! (he looks a bit pissed when he’s responding to Cap) Hank awkwardly excuses himself.

Cap tries to stop Hank from leaving because he has reached the bargaining stage of grief, I guess.

Cap: “Hank, wait! It doesn’t have to end like this! We could make a special amendment to the by-laws! We could reinstate you as an Avenger! You could be a special reservist -- !”

Hank: “Thanks, Cap. But no thanks. Trying to play super hero was the biggest mistake I ever made with my life! I was only fooling myself in ever thinking otherwise. But if you ever really think you might need a Yellowjacket again some day...”

He hands Cap the Yellowjacket suitcase.

Hank: “... Here! All you need is a good man and what’s in this case!”

I would hope, anyway. It’s going to be awkward if he opens it up later and its full of wacky ties.

The funny thing, although not really funny ha ha, is that Yellowjacket is the one codename of Hank’s that never really catches on outside of him.

You have multiple Ant-Men, a couple Goliaths, at least one other Giant-Man. There was a second Yellowjacket, eventually. But she didn’t make a big splash.

Despite Hank’s attempt here to pass the torch, Yellowjacket is a codename that remains inextricably tied to him. Which might be the problem. If there were another, more successful or at least more endearing Yellowjacket, Hank’s infamy in the role would not stand out so much.

Alas.

She-Hulk and Captain Marvel try next to intercept Hank. They don’t know him very well but they wanted to say their goodbyes too, despite not really knowing him that well.

Its the thought that definitely counts, probably.

But Hawkeye has some social awareness for a change and draws their attention to Wasp who is hanging back, but who clearly wants to talk to Hank.

So the rest of the Avengers quickly vacate to let Hank and Jan finally have closure. Or re-closure. “I want a divorce and to never see you again” is a kind of closure.

The situation has changed, however.

They both try to apologize to each other and then laugh at the awkwardness.

Hank: “Janet van Dyne, you are one in a million! After all that I put you through, you want to tell me that you’re sorry?”

Wasp: “I think we both made some mistakes along the way, but there were some good times... weren’t there?”

Hank: “Yes. But you can’t base a marriage on just a few good times. I fell for the young lady who reminded me of my first wife... and you thought you’d found the strong, silent hero. But I was never that strong, Jan. You know that now.”

Wasp: “Uh-huh.”

Damn, his prison time really did bring Hank a lot of clarity. That or the pile of therapists Tony kept throwing at him.

Hank also kind of talks over Jan here. Or at least steers the conversation. I don’t know what Jan would have said because Hank tells her that they both have other lives to lead and tells her to take care of herself.

Maybe its for the best, if, like Cap, she was going to try to shoulder all the blame for Hank’s bad decisions.

Hank walks out the door and finds Trish and Fred from the boat waiting to give him a ride to the airport. And then he is gone.

Like in the final image of the COURT-MARTIAL issue, Jan watches at the window.

“The last time Henry Pym left these walls, Janet felt like crying... but couldn’t find any tears. Today, at last, she has found the tears... for her former husband... for her team... for herself. Today, there is pain and remorse and release. There will be time enough for joy and hope tomorrow.”

Emotional catharsis can be like that.

In that the book kept going ‘Jan is really holding her emotions in and that’s probably not overall great for her’ its good that she can let it out now.

Kind of laughing at Captain Marvel and She-Hulk who only recently just met Jan being the ones going there there while the men she has known for years are just awkwardly standing in the background.

And that’s the fall and rise of Hank Pym. Apparently collected in trade as The Trial of Yellowjacket, which is a decent enough name too.

Overall, a good arc. That is kind of hampered by the need for filler and a writer change near the end. But honestly, Stern catches the ball and runs with it. He concludes the arc just as good as Shooter would’ve.

This arc is all kinds of iconic for Hank, although, unfortunately, most people are only aware of the beginning and maybe have a hazy understanding of what the ending does.

Although. This is a really good send-off for Hank. A really, really good send-off that would have worked best if he did like he said and quit superheroing forever.

That’s not to be, obviously, not in a perpetual narrative machine like Marvel. But it feels like it could have been and maybe should have been the last word on his character.

I enjoy Hank in Busiek’s Avengers and in Avengers Academy. And also, conceptually, Hank telling Reed “it’s on, bitch.” I very don’t enjoy Ultimate Hank Pym. So its a balancing act. The perfect exit for the character vs but I like some stuff when they brought him back.

Anyway.

After this, Stern gets to move on to his own material. Which he already planted the seeds for in this issue.

That’s a pun.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because of my bad puns. Also like and reblog, if you like to reblog.

#Avengers #Egghead #Masters of Evil #Hank Pym #Hawkeye #the Wasp #Captain America #Thor #She Hulk #Captain Marvel #Monica Rambeau #i did a lot of quoting because the comic has some good quotables here #essential avengers #essential marvel liveblogging

[starryknight09]

It’s cold in space

Febuwhump Day 19: sleep deprivation

Read on AO3.

________________________________________________________

The stars shone brightly twinkling outside the windows of the Benatar.  More stars than Peter could even imagine, some coalescing to form beautiful swirls that danced together, becoming denser and brighter in the center as they created galaxies so close it was like he could almost reach out and touch them.  Great nebulas composed of luminescent dust and other bright orbs in shades of red and green and orange were scattered as far as the eye could see.  Peter knew the colorful spots were planets.  Other worlds, maybe some with alien life.  Beings he had no idea even existed a month ago.  And now he’d fought alongside some of them.  Watched them die.

He shivered thinking about the disaster on Titan.  The way the Guardians had faded away into nothing.  Instead of falling into a downward spiral ruminating over it again, he focused on the engine humming beneath him, the only sound in the middle of the night as everyone else slept.  Well, as Tony and Nebula slept.  The only other two who had survived Titan.  For a moment Peter had been worried he’d been about to turn to dust like the others, his spider sense screaming at him as he clung desperately to Mr. Stark, too afraid to care that he was acting like the kid he was.  But it’d passed, and in the end, he’d been left standing stranded on an alien planet along with Mr. Stark.  And Nebula.  Thank god for her or he had no clue what they would’ve done.  She’d led them to Quill’s ship and they’d started the journey back to Earth.

Any other time he would’ve been freaking out in excitement over being in space, but if Thanos hadn’t been enough to put a damper on the mood, then the whole limping home while slowly running out of food, water, and air thing had definitely done it.  He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them as another shiver ran through him.  They’d been traveling for two weeks and no matter what they’d tried, they hadn’t been able to make the engines to go any faster.  At the rate they were going, there was no way they’d make it home before the oxygen ran out.  It put the constant pangs in his gut into perspective.  It didn’t matter that he was slowly starving.  He’d suffocate long before the lack of food killed him.

Mr. Stark had no idea Peter had worked it all out.  That this entire trip was a doomed farce.  Usually he’d be mad at his mentor for keeping something like this from him, but this time he understood.  Mr. Stark still smiled and joked and acted like everything was fine.  And Peter let him, because he didn’t want to talk about it either.  Didn’t want to admit he knew, because admitting it would make it real, and then he’d have to face it.  So for now, he just tried not to think about it even as the knowledge gnawed incessantly at the back of his mind.

Maybe it’d be for the best.  If he died here, he’d never have to face the possibility that May might have been in the fifty percent of the population that’d been dusted.  Then again, maybe she was alive, his mind always whispered traitorously.  After all, there was an equal chance that she was still there, waiting for him.  Whenever he imagined making it home, which had been happening less and less, he clung to that likelihood instead.  It was a nice dream.

In the beginning he really had tried to hold onto the hope that maybe they’d make it.  Maybe they’d somehow figure something out or someone would come save them.  But as the days had passed, his hope had faded, along with the warmth in the cabin.  He knew they weren’t going to make it home.  At least he had the small comfort of knowing how he was going to die.  Most people didn’t get that.  And he had some time to come to terms with it.  A lot of people didn’t get that either.  And overall, running out of oxygen wasn’t such a bad way to go.  It’d be relatively painless.  Like falling asleep.

His teeth chattered.  They’d siphoned as much power as possible from every possible system into the engines, including the environmental systems, which meant Peter had been absolutely miserable the past few days. He’d hidden it from Mr. Stark.  It hadn’t been so bad during the day when he had things to do to distract him, but the nights were nearly unbearable.  He’d tried layering Quill’s clothes that Nebula had given him and curling up under the threadbare quilt but it hadn’t helped.  He’d spent the last couple nights miserable, shaking with cold and barely sleeping, drifting in and out.  But tonight he couldn’t take it anymore, so he’d tiptoed out of his room to retreat to one of the chairs at the front of the ship.  At least he couldn’t complain about the view.  It was to die for.  He snorted and let out short laugh.  It really was.  

“Care to share with the class what’s so funny?” Mr. Stark’s question broke the silence.

Peter jumped.  He hadn’t heard the other man sneak up on him.  He couldn’t remember the last time that had happened, and he didn’t think it was a good thing, but he didn’t have the energy to examine that train of thought much further.

“So?” Mr. Stark prompted.

Oh right.  He wanted to know what Peter had found funny.  Peter knew he should lie, but the lack of sleep had eroded his filter and he was tired, oh so tired, of silently carrying the burden of their fate alone.

“I was thinking the view’s to die for.” He gestured out at the stars.  “Literally.”  He smiled and let out another borderline hysterical laugh.

Mr. Stark’s face crumpled and Peter instantly regretted being so honest.

“Sorry.”

Mr. Stark sighed as he stepped forward to drop a hand on his shoulder.  “So you know.”

“Of course I know.” He said.  “You’re the one always saying how smart I am.  You really didn’t think I’d figure it out?”

“I’d hoped you wouldn’t.” Mr. Stark said.  “But you’re right.  I should’ve known better.”

Peter sighed, staring out at the stars.  “It doesn’t matter.  Knowing doesn’t change anything.”

Mr. Stark hummed and followed his gaze out at the stars.  “It is a hell of a view.”

“Yeah.  I suppose there are worse places to die.” Peter whispered.

Mr. Stark’s head bent forward, looking as if the words had caused him physical pain.  Maybe they had.  The gash in his side still hadn’t healed, and although he wasn’t in any danger of dying from it, it wasn’t a minor wound.

“Don’t lose hope yet kid.” Mr. Stark squeezed his shoulder.

Peter looked up at him and frowned.  He’d never considered his mentor an overly optimistic person.

“It’s not over until it’s over.” Mr. Stark continued.  “I’ve been in my fair share of tight binds and somehow I always seem to come out on top.”

“Worse than this?” Peter arched an eyebrow at him.

Mr. Stark considered it for a few seconds before nodding.  “Maybe not worse, but some just as bad.  And here I am, still kicking.”

Peter gave him a wan smile.  “That’s comforting.”

Mr. Stark nodded.  “It is.”

Peter wished he could find some solace in his mentor’s words, but he couldn’t.  Their situation seemed fairly hopeless unless some kind of miracle occurred, and after the luck he’d had in his life, Peter no longer put any stock in miracles.

“So, is that why you’re out here?” Mr. Stark asked when Peter didn’t pick up the conversation again.  “The view?”

He shrugged.  “I couldn’t sleep.”

“I know the beds aren’t the most comfortable but—”

“That’s not why.” Peter shook his head, although it was more than a little weird to be sleeping in a dead man’s bed.

“Ok, then what’s the deal?”

“It’s too cold.” He admitted.

Mr. Stark stared at him like he didn’t understand.

“After I got my powers, I noticed I was more sensitive to temperature.” He explained with a shrug.  “I get cold or hot really easily compared to before.  Ever since we diverted the environmental system’s power to the engines, I haven’t really been able to sleep.”

“That was three days ago.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re just mentioning this now?”

“It’s not like it matters.  You can’t do anything about it.  The engines need all the power we can give them.”

“Kid.” Mr. Stark sighed, sounding put out.  “We could’ve thought of something else.”

Peter scoffed.  “Like what?  I’m pretty sure I’ve thought of everything.” He gestured to all the layers of clothes he had on.

“Well I don’t think you have, because I have an idea.”

“Really?” Peter didn’t even care if Mr. Stark had a solution he hadn’t thought of.  He just wanted to be able to sleep.  Which in retrospect seemed silly since pretty soon he’d be dead and he’d get all the sleep he wanted.  But he couldn’t help it.  While still alive, his body craved rest.

“Really.  Come on.” Mr. Stark gave his head a sideways jerk to indicate they should go.  Peter uncurled from the chair and stood, allowing the other man to guide him back down the corridor toward their rooms, but instead of leading him back to Quill’s room, Mr. Stark led him to the room where he’d been staying.

Peter stopped up short just past the threshold, not understanding.

“Get in kid.” Mr. Stark said, pointing to the bed.

Peter tried to hide his disappointment but did as his mentor said.  If Mr. Stark thought his bed was warmer than he owed it to him to at least try it even though he didn't think it would work.  He realized the mistake of his assumption a second later when Mr. Stark crawled in the other side of the bed.

“Um what are you doing?” He asked with wide eyes.  The bed wasn’t tiny, but it was smaller than a queen size.  Two adults sharing would be more than a little crowded.

“Conserving body heat.” Mr. Stark explained as he rolled Peter over, wrapped his arms around him, and pulled the covers up over both of them.

Peter’s cheeks flushed.  In the years he’d known Mr. Stark, they’d definitely gotten closer and he was almost starting to view him as a sort of father figure, but he had no idea what the man thought of him.  Mr. Stark still avoided showing emotion or affection whenever possible, so this was definitely uncharted territory.

“Uh I didn’t think we were there yet.” He joked, trying desperately to dispel the extreme awkwardness that’d befallen him.

“Don’t make it weird.” Mr. Stark ordered.

“Ok.” He stared at the opposite wall wondering if it wouldn’t be lack of oxygen after all, but absolute mortification, that would kill him.

“Are you still cold?” Mr. Stark asked after a few long minutes had passed.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t.  The incessant shivering had dissipated.  It was the first time in days that he wasn’t freezing.

“Yeah.” He sighed in relief.

“Good.” Mr. Stark let out his own sigh and it tickled Peter’s hair.  “Then go to sleep.  And agree to never speak of this.”

“Right.  Of course.  Never.” He readily agreed before closing his eyes, and even though they were probably still going to die, he felt oddly safe at the moment, and that feeling combined with the fact that he was no longer uncomfortably cold, let sleep come easily.

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhump #Irondad

[heartbreaknow]

Vampire!Peter Imagine

I’ve been sitting on my vampire!Peter imagine for a couple of months now, thinking about whether there’s any chance I might want to turn it into an actual fic, ever. But this week seems to be vampire!Starker week on tumblr (\o/), so I’m just gonna post the damn thing before I completely miss the boat. 

NOTE: This takes a bit to get dirtysexy y’all, but it gets there eventually. This has been my one effort at self-promotion. That is all. 👍

~

The way it starts is: Peter gets bitten by something while on an Avengers mission in space. (Ever since the whole situation with Thanos, space missions have become a thing they occasionally do, much to Peter’s delight and Tony’s…whatever the absolute furthest thing from delight is.) So there they are, trekking through an oddly echo-less cave on some alien planet, and suddenly some kind of creature—smallish and not overly threatening—bites Peter and then skitters away into the darkness before he can even get a look at it.

By the time they get back to the ship, Peter can’t find any trace of a mark from the bite, and he’s not even sure how something could bite through his suit anyway, and honestly, Peter’s not sure he didn’t just imagine it.  Maybe something in his suit just went haywire for a second and jabbed him. That could happen, right?

~

The Avengers return from the mission and everything is fine for a couple of days.

But then Peter begins feeling mysteriously light-sensitive and feverish, and by the time a week has passed he finds himself developing a…craving. At first, he can’t even put his finger on what it is he’s craving, but over time it begins to distill into a strange, relentless kind of hunger, and a corresponding urge to- well- bite people. (The first time Peter notices it, he’s in the lab with Mr Stark, and it goes away when he leaves the lab. But pretty soon its become a constant nagging hunger.)

Peter tries to ignore it for as long as possible, kind of downplaying it to himself and assuming it’ll pass, because it’s just too weird to really be happening. But the longer it goes on, the sicker he feels, and the hungrier he gets.

Until one night, nearly two weeks after the space mission, Peter finds a lost dog while he’s dragging himself weakly through his nightly patrol. The dog has an ID tag, so he catches it, with the intent of returning it to its owners—but then everything gets kind of weird in his head, and he goes into some kind of trance and drinks the dog’s blood. Which is horrifying, obviously, and also just objectively super gross.

Clearly, ignoring the blood-thirst and denying there’s a problem isn’t working.

(Also, even though the dog’s blood satisfies the obsessive hunger that’s been building in him for days, it tastes foul and gives him a massive stomach ache.)

 ~

So Peter, who is now very much freaking out, goes straight to Tony and explains the symptoms he’s experiencing. At first he kind of hedges a little, and doesn’t immediately tell Tony about the dog, because he can’t bear for Mr Stark to look at him with disgust. Unfortunately, that leads to Mr Stark not really getting how serious it is. He just makes a Lucy the vampire bride joke, and suggests it’s some kind of spidey version of Pica; asks how Peter’s nutrition is; tells Peter he’s a growing superhero, and he can’t subsist on ramen and Gatorade alone.

Until finally Peter blurts out, “Idrankadog’sblood!”

It’s kind of a showstopper.

Tony’s like, “Um, excuse me, you—you killed a dog?”

Peter is instantly aghast. “What? No! Oh my god, no, I just…bit it…some. And then I found its owners.” And then, after a second’s pause: “Oh god, what if the dog is a vampire now? And I just left it with that nice family! I’ve gotta go warn them!” 

~ 

As it turns out, the dog is not a vampire. But Peter…kind of is?

Apart from the dog-biting incident, Peter has also suddenly grown a pair of retractable fangs, his pupils react weirdly to light, and when stimulated, his fangs disgorge a small amount of some kind of venom—the properties of which they are working on isolating.

As soon as they prove there is in fact something happening to Peter, Tony is immediately adamant they will find a cure for whatever it is. But the first couple days of tests yield no real answers, and by then Peter is getting hungry again.

That’s about the time they discover Peter vomits up bagged blood pretty violently. So that’s Plan A off the table.

~

When Peter starts looking sallow and jittery, and Tony notices him chewing his own lip until it bleeds and then licking up the blood, Tony thinks, Fuck it, and goes out and buys him a nice, robust-looking American Bulldog. PETA can sue him.

Peter tries to refuse Mr Stark’s, uh, provision, but his protests are weak. He’s so hungry. It doesn’t take long before he gives in.

Unfortunately, dog blood doesn’t work so well the second time around. This time, the taste is so foul Peter can barely keep it down, and what’s worse, within minutes of feeding he’s doubled over with the worst stomach pain of his life 

They try a couple other types of animals, with the same results: nauseating flavor and crippling stomach pain.    

So alright, Plan B is maybe not as viable as they thought it was, either.

~

Peter puts on a brave face, and insists that it’s fine, he doesn’t need to eat. He can tough it out, at least for a little while longer. But after another couple of days, he looks like death warmed over, and Tony suspects he doesn’t feel much better than he looks.

Also, Peter starts keeping at least a couple of steps between himself and Tony in the lab at all times. And when, out of habit, Tony gets close enough to give his shoulder a squeeze, Peter jerks away lightning fast, and Tony swears he sees a glint of something in Peter’s mouth, right before he clamps it shut.  

So yeah, Tony’s worried about him.

~

The fifth morning without blood, Peter doesn’t show up in the lab.

Worried, Tony goes to check on him.

He barely makes it three steps into Peter’s room before he finds himself pinned to Peter’s bedroom door, with a black-eyed, fangy Peter leaning into him, panting and staring at his neck.

This new Peter, with his needle-sharp cuspids, and his demonic-possession eyes, should be terrifying—and it’s not that he isn’t, per se. It’s just that he’s Peter. And Tony remembers how Peter didn’t kill the dog either time he fed, even though he must’ve been pretty damn desperate the first time. So instead of trying to get free, or snap Peter out of it, Tony looks Peter right in his black, iris-less eyes, and says, “Okay, kid. Mealtime,” and tilts his head to the side, baring his neck. Then he reaches up, and guides Peter down.

~

Being bitten is incomparable to anything Tony’s ever felt before. It’s weird, and unnerving, and intimate, and probably incredibly dangerous. And Tony really, really wishes it didn’t feel so goddamn good.

He has enough to feel guilty about as it is (his feelings for the kid are something he’s been studiously not looking too closely at for a while now). He really doesn’t need to add “My mentee’s in the middle of a serious health crisis and I can’t stop thinking about what it felt like to have him latched onto my neck like the world’s hottest leech” to his laundry list of mental depravity.

~

When Peter’s head clears after the feeding, he freaks out and basically flees the tower, horrified at what he’s done.

A couple hours later he’s back again, looking defeated and miserable, and not meeting Tony’s eyes. He realizes he can’t be trusted to be among the general population unmonitored until they know more about his condition. And if whatever is wrong with him gets worse and they need to lock him up, the tower and the compound are the only places with rooms that can reliably contain him.

~

The second time Peter feeds from Tony, Tony suggests that Peter try feeding from his wrist instead. It’s mainly for his own sanity that he makes the suggestion, but outwardly he reasons that wrist feeding is probably safer and more comfortable for them both. Peter nods quietly and agrees, eyes meeting Tony’s and then quickly skittering away.

Tony does find the sensation somewhat less overwhelming when Peter feeds from his wrist instead of his neck—but only somewhat. It still feels bizarrely, almost maddeningly good, like somehow Peter’s feeding has turned his wrist into an erogenous zone. Or possibly his entire body.  

~

Peter and Tony quickly find themselves falling into a routine: research, data collection, tests, and feedings.

Peter will hold off from feeding until his pupils begin to dilate and his skin gets sallow, and the way he looks at Tony as he moves around the lab begins to take on a sharp, slightly animal quality. Then, when Tony is pretty sure Peter’s desperate enough to actually give in, he says, very clearly, very directly, “Kid, come here,” and gestures Peter over with a jerk of his head that’s a hell of a lot more casual than he feels. And just like that, Peter goes to him.

At first, Tony thinks the feeling of Peter feeding from him might become less intense once he gets used to it, but it doesn’t work out that way. A bit the opposite, truthfully.

After a couple of weeks, Tony finds himself fixating: on Peter’s mouth, on his pliant lips and his defined jaw, on he way it hinges open over Tony’s pounding pulse-point. He finds himself growing to love the way Peter ends up curled around his arm every time he feeds, his side pressed against Tony’s front, tucked in close, shoulder to sternum. Generally Tony has to find something to brace against, or Peter will push him off balance with the force of his hunger.

Tony finds that the site where Peter has bitten him begins to feel hot and over-sensitive constantly, but especially right before a feeding. Like there’s too much blood too close to the surface.

Tony finds himself wanting to give Peter what he needs over and over again. Craving it, even.

But Peter’s made it pretty clear that no matter how much this thing in his head enjoys feeding, he himself hates it, and is intent on doing it as infrequently as possible. (Peter’s never overtly said he hates it, not in so many words, but the way he refuses to feed until he’s famished, and the tense, nervous way he looks at Tony whenever it’s  getting close to meal time, is pretty eloquent.) And Tony can’t—won’t—allow himself to undermine Peter’s resolve about this. Not when the kid’s just trying to hang onto as much autonomy as he can while this thing runs roughshod over his hierarchy of needs.

So he watches Peter constantly, looking for signs of hunger—then forces himself not to say anything once he does see the signs. He makes himself wait while Peter works through the craving, hour after hour, his eyes getting slowly darker each time Tony catches one of his furtive glances. Until eventually Tony can’t stand it anymore.

When he unbuttons his shirt cuff and calls Peter to him, it’s all he can do to make it sound like a casual offer.

~ 

Tony hates himself for enjoying it—the feedings. For practically getting off on them. For literally getting off on them, later, when he’s by himself—his bruised, throbbing wrist shoved against his own mouth, tonguing lewdly at the place where Peter’s snake-like cuspids slid sharpnumbhot into his skin. Fuck. His other hand shoved down his boxers, jacking himself off to the thought of how Peter always clings to him as he feeds—how he struggles to stay lucid and only ever half succeeds. Tony tries not to think about Peter’s slippery tongue chasing a droplet of blood down his neck, the very first time he ever fed off Tony. He tries not to think about Peter’s mouth while he fucks furiously into his own fist, smothering a groan. Peter’s innocent mouth, smeared red and panting. Fuck, oh, fuck.

Tony hates himself for it, all of it. But he can’t stop.

- - - - END - - - -

It’s killing me to leave it here because I have so many more bullet point ideas written out for this imagine. But on the off chance I ever write some of this as an actual fic, I don’t want to have described the entire thing before hand. So I guess I’ll quit here.

But for context: I kind of like the idea of paired feeding being habit-forming for both parties. So like, not only does it feel really, really good, but over time they both start to get kind of physiologically addicted to it. 

I’m thinking maybe whatever weird-ass critter bit Peter, feeding is part of its mating ritual. Like, maybe it’s a symbiotic pair-bonding species that mates for life, and determines the suitability of its mate base on how well the blood-drinking half takes to the blood-providing half’s blood, and how well the blood-providing half responds to the blood-drinking half’s venom. (Yes, this is really putting the pseudo in pseudoscience. Just go with it?)

The problem for Peter and Tony is that, despite being profoundly compatible, they keep repeating the mating behavior over and over without resolution—thus causing things to kind of...escalate. 

#starker #starker imagine #peter x tony #vampire!peter #nff #not horror at all #but some light horror elements herein #sexy biological imperatives are my jam

[chirpingtiger]

Strange’s Plan was a Bit Darker Than We Thought

In Avengers: Infinity War, Dr. Strange looks through the future to see every possible combination of options, and announces that they will only win in one of them.

Now, keep in mind, Dr. Strange is always thinking about the bigger picture.

He knows that even if they succeed in keeping the stones away from Thanos right now - even if Strange were to lock the Time stone in another dimension that Thanos could never get to, and if Wanda Maximoff were to destroy the Mind stone, leaving Thanos with only four - that Thanos will simply build up his army and continue killing half of all life, one planet at a time, just like he has been doing up until this point.

The stones were always a shortcut for Thanos.

In keeping the stones form him, they’ve only slowed down his progress. They’ve done nothing to truly stop him.

Strange is not looking to delay Thanos. He’s looking to make sure that he’s stopped. Permanently.

Strange only sees one way that they can truly win against Thanos, and that is by wiping him out of existence.

That is his plan from the start.

Strange hands over the time stone to Thanos, assuring everyone that this is the way it must be in order for them to really "win” against him for good.

Now, for those who aren’t chess players:

“In chess and chess-like games, the endgame (or end game or ending) is the stage of the game when few pieces are left on the board.

The line between middlegame and endgame is often not clear, and may occur gradually or with the quick exchange of a few pairs of pieces.“

“Many people have composed endgame studies, endgame positions which are solved by finding a win for White when there is no obvious way to win, or a draw when it seems White must lose.”

“The endgame, however, tends to have different characteristics from the middlegame, and the players have correspondingly different strategic concerns. In particular, pawns become more important as endgames often revolve around attempting to promote a pawn by advancing it to the eighth rank.

Usually in the endgame, the stronger side (the one with more material using the standard piece point count system) should try to exchange pieces (knights, bishops, rooks, and queens), while avoiding the exchange of pawns.  This generally makes it easier to convert a material advantage into a won game. The defending side should strive for the opposite”

So Strange calling this the “Endgame” - that was the first hint that he would be sacrificing some key pieces, and promoting pawns to gain the advantage.

Pawns like Scott.

Who becomes instrumental to their quantum time traveling.

Pawns like Wanda.

Who doesn’t draw a lot of attention on first glance, but can spring into the fray unexpectedly and can entirely turn the tide of the fight.

Pawns like Nebula.

Who set off a chain reaction that leads to the downfall of the enemy’s key pieces.

Pawns like Carol.

Who has been out of the picture for years but gets called back to the fight when Fury gets snapped.

Dozens of little characters who start to play big parts, because the main pieces can’t play them on their own.

And even for the end battle, it isn’t just the heroes making a final stand - it is dozens and dozens of little pawns (the armies of Wakanda and Asgard, the Ravagers and the Sorcerers and just about every background fighter the MCU has to offer) who show up as support in the final hour.

Who all Assemble at the King’s command.

But the promotion of pawns is only one aspect of the “Endgame” strategy.

This was also the first hint that Strange would be sacrificing some key pieces in order to assure the win.

Strange knew going into this that the victory would have some costs, specifically in the form of Natasha and Vision and Tony.

Natasha and Vision wouldn’t be an issue for him - they each give their lives willingly for the good of others in every future he sees, Vision to try and stop Thanos, and Natasha to retrieve the soul stone.

Tony, on the other hand, poses a problem.

Strange specifically says that if he tells Tony how they win, that it won’t happen.

Let that sink in.

If Strange tells Tony that he must die in order to save the universe, he knows for a fact that Tony won’t do it.

Out of those millions of alternate realities that Strange looked into, there was not a single ONE of them where Tony would willingly sacrifice himself at that battle, no matter what was on the line.

So Strange doesn’t tell him.

In fact, he goes so far out his way to not tell him, that he instead does just the opposite - he instills a sense of immortality in him.

He makes Tony think that - in this one situation that he has picked - they are guaranteed the win no matter what happens leading up to it.

And Tony takes that bait - hook, line, and sinker.

Why?

Tony’s ego has always been his downfall.

This holds true from the first Iron Man movie where he assumes his money and fame make him untouchable...

To Iron Man 3 where he assumes his reputation as Iron Man and a few sassy comments will be more than enough to shut his enemies down...

To Age of Ultron where he assumes that he’s going to be somehow immune to the staff’s influence despite the fact that almost all others have failed...

To Civil War where he refuses to acknowledge any new information if it means that he might have been wrong...

All the way through to Infinity War where he assumes he can take on Thanos solo and win.

Tony essentially sees himself as being untouchable, because up until this point he has been incredibly lucky, and has not had to face consequences for any situation where his ego led him astray.

He survived the Ten Rings. Pepper wasn’t hurt in Iron Man 3. Nobody that he cared about got hurt by Ultron. He had free reign under the Accords following Civil War. Everyone he cared about survived the snap, and the one person’s death he feels somewhat guilty about can be blamed on Steve and subsequently brushed off.

Tony has faced NO repercussions for anything he’s done, and therefore this is what he assumes being a hero is - doing whatever you want, kicking some Bad Guy (TM) ass on occasion, and going home to relax while the world sings your praises. The end.

Thanos comes as a cold, hard reality check.

This is the first time that Tony realizes that he might not be quite as untouchable as he thought. The first time that it clicks for him that they are dealing with something that very well has the power to kill him.

The first time that he feels like he came out of a “hero” battle as the loser.

And he can’t stand that.

In fact, he rejects that losing status so hard that he winds up throwing a fit following his rescue.

He attacks Steve for “not being there for him” despite the fact that it was Tony refusing to use the phone Steve gave him that led to him fighting alone.

He yells about how they should have all been on board with the long-dead failed Ultron project of his, despite the fact that Vision - who was more powerful than Ultron - was still no match for Thanos.

How this was all their fault.

He grossly twists all the facts around to try and pin everything that happened on the others, regardless of how glaringly illogical it is, because he can’t physically comprehend that a situation exists where he could have made a decision that led to them losing - therefore someone else MUST have sabotaged him.

Going into Endgame, Tony still has his massive ego problems, but he’s (finally) gained a healthy fear of death and consequences.

He doesn’t want to risk disturbing his current happiness on the chance that they might be able to bring everyone back.

Thankfully, Pepper talks him into it, but he still retains the “as soon as it gets dangerous, I’m out” mentality.

This complicates Dr. Strange’s plan.

Tony has been told that there is one single ending out of millions of possibilities where they will win over Thanos.

Now keep in mind, for Tony, “we win” means that they all go home as heroes and the enemies all die.

He’s never been through a war. He doesn’t understand that there is no “clean sweep” in real life.

He doesn’t comprehend that there is always collateral, and death, and tradeoffs.

He doesn’t ever take the sacrifice play into account.

When Thanos gets the glove, Tony starts to doubt, because it seems like they might have picked the wrong ending if he’s going to have to rush Thanos by himself after Thanos wiped the floor with him PLUS Cap and Thor.

He looks at Strange, who holds up one finger. A reminder that they are in the one ending where they “win.” And that gives Tony the confidence to go for what would otherwise be a suicide run, assured that he will make it out in one piece.

Tony only grabs the stones because he is utterly assured in this moment that he can survive this - because Strange told him that this is the one ending where they WIN.

Tony would not have touched that glove if he knew that he was going to die. He would have let Thanos wipe out half the universe again, because Tony knows that at least he and everyone he cares about would make it through the snap.

He would still have Pepper. He would still have Morgan. He would still have Rhody and Happy and his cute little farm.

Tony only snaps his fingers because Strange has tricked him into thinking that he survives it and saves the day.

That he gets to be the big hero.

And Strange lets him run to his death believing that.

In the end, Strange sacrificed Tony to save the universe without an ounce of regret.....just like he said he would.

#endgame #avengers endgame #dr strange #endgame theories #stephen strange #dr stephen strange #infinity war #avengers infinity war #the long game #the plan #strange orchestrated this whole thing #anti tony stark #anti tony stans #anti iron man #anti tony #well that's why I have so many morons in the comments screaming about Tony