#That fucking happened!!!

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[mr-malumm]

Stayed gone but vox narrates his passive aggressive insecure ass scrolling text from the bottom of his broadcast 👊💥📺

#plus what definitely canonically happened when this very important breaking news interrupted tv #are we sure this guy is allowed to be an overlord #imagining the audience just trying to enjoy their shows and then BOOM TV MAN AND HIS GAY INSECURITIES #your pitch crush is showing #radiostatic #i fell for the fucking tv #vox #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #hazbin art #hazbin alastor #hazbin vox #alastor #katie killjoy #my art

[inkskinned]

at the end of the day it's not that you hate your job - actually, you like working, you like routine, you like feeling like an adult - it's that any time you fuck anything up, you feel like you're fucking dying.

because you could be actually fucking dying. because if one day you wake up and you misunderstood something - you could lose your job, and nobody is hiring, and nobody is paying, and nobody takes people like you, and that job you want hasn't gotten back to you. and what exactly are you going to do without insurance? good luck with those meds. you should have thought of that before being a person.

so it's not just that you forgot to CC someone on an email, it's that if you don't have this job, you can't afford rent. it's not that you misread a comment, it's that if you get fired, you will be in massive amounts of unpayable debt. it's not that you are bad at your job, but here are the stakes as they have been decided for you: be perfect or fucking die. like, literally, die. that is how much safety net you have: none.

it's not burnout, technically. but you literally just had two typos in your work, and you're already picturing the ending. you want to throw up & curl up & make it all go away. it is two typos. if he decides he is mad at you, you lose literally everything.

your mom says that you seem stressed. the thing is that you have never known a job that isn't stressful. welcome to capitalism. there is no other road, only this one. what the fuck is a career. you come here, and we hold your life against the barrel of a gun, and somewhere someone is spinning the chamber and pulling. eventually the bullet will come.

you live in a mugging. your boss owns three cars and has four kids. you worry about having enough to feed your dog. good luck. beg for forgiveness. CC the right people next time and be grateful, kid. somebody has it worse than you. someone, probably, has it worse than you. so what if you can't sleep or eat or focus. your work chat sound literally makes you panic. you had to change the sounds of computer notifications so you'd stop having such an upset stomach.

welcome to the real world! the rat race! the dog eat dog circus!

your doctor studies the results and frowns at you. "it's bad for your heart," she says. "try to reduce your levels of stress."

#spilled ink #warm up #i am OFF MY MEDS AND I FUCKING HATE IT #WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING #NOT GOOD FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ninjasmudge]

last night i had a dream that i was playing minecraft and i noticed i had 77 blocks of cobblestone in one slot instead of it being capped at 64 and it was so jarring to me that it literally booted me out of the dream. like sure you can fly now and your childhood home is a pharmacy but 77 pieces of cobblestone? unthinkable. wake the fuck up.

#minecraft #tagged so i can find it ig #PROBABLY MEANS I PLAY TOO MUCH MINECRAFT TBH #IT WAS 77 COBBLESTONE DO U UNDERSTAND HOW JARRING THAT WAS #IT LEGIT WOKE ME UP BC I WAS LIKE 'that cant fucking happen.' #shark talks #l

[loveapologist]

He changed his mind.

Support me on PATREON!

#another fanart hehe #Fuck Metatron he is staying with his partner #this is what actually happened #copium #brain worms #good omens season 2 #good omens #good omens spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley #good omens fanart #fanart #my art

[the-nefarious-vampire]

as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #asexuality #ace #aro #im so glad you guys are enjoying this stupid post i made at work #okay i wrote that at 3000 notes but what the FUCK is happening #10000 notes on this no effort fmk post and not one aspec i know irl #dgmw im still very happy that yall are enjoying this post but also like. come hang out with meeeeee :(

[sailoreuterpe]

Using the bathroom in general is a human right and should be enshrined as such and I'm not joking. Too many groups of people are denied bathroom breaks or the use of bathrooms entirely--disabled people, blue-collar workers, children, homeless people, prisoners, students, the elderly. I'm surely missing other groups. Not using the bathroom when needed can cause serious, long-term damage, not to mention death. Free, clean, accessible bathrooms should be available everywhere. It's fucking cruel to deny someone the use of the bathroom, regardless of the reasoning. I'd rather every student in the world goof off and every homeless person make a mess and every worker "steal company time" than let one person suffer because they're denied the right to fucking pee in peace.

#Notes by Nikki #human rights #bathrooms #Coin-operated bathrooms are evil #fuck capitalism #fuck gatekeeping #fuck keeping people from their basic needs #bodily functions #happen to EVERYONE #basic needs

[embraceyourdestiny]

to any americans who feel "paralyzed" and "dont know what to do" to help with gaza:

reading a fucking book. i beg of you.

in a time of knowledge suppression is it your duty to arm yourself with knowledge.

read about americas occupations in the middle east.

read about 9/11 from outside of america and see how they inflicted senseless harm and violence to countless amounts of people and have been suppressing your rights for the past 2 fucking decades.

read about any of the countless wars from the past 30 years. especially from a civilian's. and the victims and survivors' perspective. listen to the horror stories and do not plug your fucking ears as to what your country is doing.

and read about fucking gaza and palestine and keep up with what is happening no matter how "sad" or "uncountable" you might get.

dont look away from this.

you dont have the right to be comfortable during countless active genocides.

if you're knowledgeable, you're powerful, and our current state doesnt fucking want that.

you have the power to change things if you open your eyes and scream to the world.

wake the fuck up.

Edit: please check the reblogs there are readings and ways to help

#og #truly if youre not about it your against it and i dont fuck with you because you're complacent #wake the fuck up #we're all responsible and dont you dare say you're not #americans need to stop living in the world with their eyes closed and their ears covered #look at what your fucking 'glorious country' is doing to people #everyone should be against america no fucking exceptions because america is violent and evil and needs to be stopped #then read about what america has done to the natives of their land #radicalize yourself #decolonize your mind #free palestine #land back #palestine will be free #theres too many fucking movements of just the past couple years all happening at once to act like the world is fucking fine #we are in a human rights CRISIS #WAKE THE FUCK UP PLEASE

[dougielombax]

I wonder what the largest shellfish is?

Edit: Okay this post is getting a LOT of traction. What is going on?

Edit: Fucking hell.

This post has set off a fucking MINEFIELD!!!

What have I DONE????!!!!!

I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to run to!

I’ve summoned a wolf only to unleash a tiger!!!!! Made of fire! And nails.

Probably….

Idk.

Edit 2: 5,000 Notes! Good god! What the HELL do you want from me. I’ve never had a post of mine take off like this until now.

Some got close like the one about homeowner associations (fucking powertripping middle aged mediocrities!) which got at least 1.5k notes but this is the most I’ve gotten on a single post so far.

Anyway.

AND this post has officially gone to hell. (6,666 notes)

Edit: 8,000 notes! Holy shit!

Edit: 9,000 notes!!!

Edit: 10,000 notes!!!!!!!!!

Edit: 15,000 notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit: 20,000 Notes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO THE HELL TURNED OFF THE REPLY THREAD FOR THE REBLOGS?!

Okay never mind it’s back. For now at least.

Anyway.

#dougie rambles #personal stuff #shellfish #sea life #wildlife #maritime shit #fucking hell #molluscs #mollusks #fish #speculation #holy shit #what is happening #viralpost #sort of #kind of #maybe #5k #viral #idk #8k #9k #10k #15k #20k

[bitchofdarkness]

I hate how fandom has become "if you haven't created anything in this very specific time frame after the release of the show/movie, everyone will have moved on"

And call me old fashioned, but that's just not me. I sometimes take ages to create and publish. And I will love a show or movie for such a long time (years, babes, years) that I just can't relate to the fast consumerism that's going on.

Because, let's be real, it can get really lonely in a fandom if most have simply moved on to the next shiny thing. Is what's created less worth, just because it was created outside the hype? Why is it such a taboo for this new fandom generation to love an old or "late" fic or art?

It's so tiring and I'm too old for the 30-seconds-hype-tiktok-shit. Just tired. So, so tired.

#semi rant #cry into the void #and no i'm not shaming young ppl in general #it's this new wave of people entering fandom which can happen at any age lbr #and I don't understand them nor do I want to atp #if you're wondering why you can't rb anymore: I switched it off bcuz people can't fucking read and piss me off with their dumb additions

[dyscomancer]

hating tiktok is not a "back in my day" type thing. tiktok is objectively affecting other social media platforms in detrimental ways. ux elements are being stripped and everything has to have a fucking short video clips function. it's rampant homogenization and it's a problem

#from the desk #fuck tiktok #it's the absolute worst thing to happen to the internet in years

[blueskittlesart]

i hope everyone in nintendo’s management department dies and goes to hell no matter what and i’m not kidding

#WERE LOSING YUZU AND CITRA. I DONT KNOW IF YOU ALL UNDERSTAND HOW INSANE THIS IS #game emulation enables piracy yes but it’s also an INCREDIBLY powerful archival tool. #there are plenty of games out there that only exist in their original formats due to emulation. #this lawsuit has HORRIBLE implications for video game history. it makes it incredibly easy for companies to scorched earth their products #if they’re not profitable enough. ART IS GOING TO BE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS. GAMES PEOPLE WORKED INCREDIBLY HARD ON #it won’t just happen to bad games. it won’t just happen to old games. they will use this to keep their remake/virtual console model going #forever and you will never be able to play your favorite games in their true original forms ever again. #i am fucking INSANELY mad rn. capitalism is the death of art fr #personal

[heritageposts]

iran has the right to defend itself

#like unironically #i don't want to speculate on what's going to happen but a big fuck you regardless to the western media stooges who are trying #to paint iran as the ''aggressor'' here #like this was just an attack that come out of nowhere

[clown-owo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot #i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself #just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔 #so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal #my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me. #chelldos #but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time #portal #chell #GlaDOS #GlaD0S #my art #og post #1k #5k #10k #20k #edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character. #because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place #and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing #i didn't think it would gain much attention #i was Wrong #anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline #EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you

[amikoroyaiart]

Some 22 and 09 angst doodles

#mw3 spoilers #ghostsoap #soapghost #call of duty #modern warfare III #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #i tried to draw fluff but it didn't help me #so i've decided to just put all my feelings into these doodles #it was easier with 09 knowing they were both dead #but 22 were my safe space kinda like their second chance #and to see what the fuck happened in the campaign breaks my heart #because i know they did that just because it was rushed and it had no ending #such a disrespect to the cast and the fans

[ghosts-cyphera]

okay but !! jealous Ghost listening to the reader talk about their tinder date.

"Soap, he was fucking 6 feet tall, shoulde—"

"Taller than I am?"

From the deep rumble of Ghost’s voice, you raised a brow.

"No one’s fucking taller than you are, Ghost. Anyway," you turned back to grinning Soap, "he had shoulders for goddamn days, and his fucking hands—" You let out a deep breath, your voice touched with breathless amusement. "Soap, I swear when he touched me, I—"

The feeling of something reaching for your fingers cut your sentence short, and all it took was one glance down for your breathing to cling to your throat.

Resting against the palm of your hand were five fingers, covered by a skeleton glove. So much bigger than yours.

Longer, thicker.

Belonging to your fucking Lieutenant.

“Bigger than mine, yeah?”

You raised your sight to meet the gaze of Ghost, his head ever so slightly tilted, his eyes dark with amusement.

“No.” Your voice was slightly breathless as his fingers brushed against yours. “Not bigger than yours, sir.”

With a deep chuckle and his gaze not leaving yours, Ghost took a step back. “You’ll do well to remember that, darlin’.”

masterlist | requests are open 💌

#and soap and reader just look at each other like 'wait what the fuck just happened?' #before soap starts grinning and reader slides down on their seat fucking sweating and their heart racing #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader