#Thats actually super mean and i should care so much about my ex girlfriends feelings than my own | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jadenvargen · 3 years

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Idk if youve made a post like this but any m4m animes/mangas you recommend? Im trying to find stuff thats not overly romance focused or like. Idol groupey?? Like ikemen. Also watched kaiji because I saw your art and my soul hurts from the first arc alone

IM SORRY FOR THAT KAIJI IS SO MUCH uhm... i think i know what you mean? i don’t read too many gay manga( bcs i have hard time finding ones i like also😭) but there’s some i really recommend! Been a while since I read some of these so I’ll try my best to warn but I might have forgotten something ;; ! anyway I have a few to reccomend!

Shimanami Tasogare

you’ve probably heard of it, it gets recced a lot, but it’s for a reason. It weaves an expert narrative, focusing on a small community of LGBT+ (an older gay man, a pair of lesbian wives, a transgender bicyclist, the mysterious agender leader, and a young child who’s unsure of their gender identity and presentation) people and how they navigate the world. Its POV character is a young closeted gay man struggling with self acceptance, and finds family and love within this group.

warnings:

Homophobia, Bullying, Transphobia as central and constant, but also mentioned suicidal ideation, pedophilia, parental abuse, as well as cancer.

What did you eat yesterday?

If you’re not much for romance, this one’s definitely for you! Not to say the romance isn’t there- it’s just very casual. A fun and honest tale about a gay odd couple and their day to day struggles, from light to major, told with the help of food recipes that they eat for dinner every day. Very comfy. Also has a delightful live action show!

warnings: Homophobia, grindr-esque fatphobia at times, domestic abuse(one of the men is a lawyer and deals with lots of types of cases), and the biggest one would be a bad bit in Chapter 2 where a woman thinks our protagonist is going to assault her while he thinks she may be homophobic. I would honestly skip this chapter.

Hare no Hi

A one-shot about a gay divorced dad learning his son is gay too, and struggling to know how to help him. Since it’s so short, I won’t say more but I think it’s really amazing!

warnings:

the son has a crush on the dad’s friend, who’s an adult. this isn’t encouraged by him or anything(in fact explicitly rejected) but warning just to be safe!

I hear the sunspot/ Hidamari ga Kikoeru

A HoH university student recruits the help of a go-getter shonen protag classmate to take notes, and their friendship and feelings for each other develop along the way. It’s more about the HoH guy’s struggles to fit in and what to do in life, and how to fit in a relationship in all that. I’m not HoH myself, so while I cannot definitely decide if it’s perfect representation by any means, I think the story and characters are very real and wonderful to follow.

(The reading order is all out of whack for a lot of chapters uploaded though so I’d reccommend checking a read order thing before starting lol...Also, the last chapter is gone from most scan sites for some reasons, but just searching “chapter 29″ should lead to plenty of downloads.)

warnings: ableism, bullying

Blue flag:

Not my personal favourite, but a lot of people swear by it! Different strokes, so it might be for you. Basically: Boy likes Girl, who Likes Boy’s friend, who Likes Boy, then other complicated factors start to enter the picture. It’s a sort of relationship drama between every character in their large friend group.

warnings: homophobia, bullying, sexual assault mention, i think i remember some weird homophobic rhetoric that was like endorsed but maybe i’m mixing things up, katy perry and taylor swift pro gay mixtape.

not a lot because i’m kind of picky and i tend not to like a lot of what i read ;_; a lot of gay stuff is just bad yaoi, hard bara which is fine but not like.. a story lol. or like.. super focused on highschoolers and i don’t care for that. some general lgbt manga i’d reccomend other would be:

double house (character study of trans woman cis woman roomates.. and then more:) )

i wanna be your girl!(cis girl in love with her real girl childhood friend but struggling if these feelings mean she’s invalidating her gender but Actually she’s just bi... the t girl is straight though so be warned.)

Ohana Holoholo (2 ex girlfriends become roommates to raise the child of one of them, and rediscover old feelings along the way.)

Koi Ga Ochitara is explicit, 18+ but if you’re an adult gay man it is. Somehow very touching and relatable.

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sitorrothekitsune · 3 years

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For everyone #18,#29,#37 and number 45 please, but if I can only have 1 question answered by everyone number 18 thanks!

Oh uhh- I honestly didn’t read these before reblogging and uhh- oki...

That said... the question is asking about our most traumatic experience.

Oh?? Well then I’ll have to sit this one out.

Why’s that?

Well honey, try and think of anything that I would find traumatic.

Oh uhh...-

That’s right. Nothing. So, there’s nothing for me to answer.

Okaaayyy moving on then...

Oh- uhh... For me... probably the dreams I make for myself, some of which are truly terrifying.

Dreams? How can you be sure that they’re dreams?

Because I’ve seen people die in these dreams that I talked to the next day.

Hmm; okay ;)

Uhh... Sitorro?

Sitorro?

Huh? Oh- for me it’s when I saw my father put in the coma...

Are you ok, Si...?

Yeah. I’m fine. Nothing wrong here.

O... K...?

Moe?

I will agree with Sitorro. I hadn’t thought it possible; and I didn’t know what to do next... it’s one of those things where you ask yourself “how am I going to take your place? Even if it’s temporary?” I didn’t know the first thing about how to keep someone alive, let alone the trillions of creatures that my brother created. Even my sister- who has two children of her own- was confused how to take care of species she’d never even heard of. I’m slowly getting the hang of it. But there’s way too many things to think about. The universe my brother left us with is vast, and I will never know everything. But I’m learning, and that’s why I’m here.

That was well put... I- never knew... thank you, Moe...

My pleasure.

Hunter, what about you?

Well, you and I have talked about this before, but I don’t really remember much... I’d say the most traumatic feeling I remember is regret though. I’m not sure why my body feels this regret, but it does. And so I’m doing what I can to minimize the things I could regret later...

Huh. On to the next question... let’s see here... describe a reason you lied to your friends... well for me it’s usually something as simple as “this story sounds better/is funnier one way, rather than another.” So instead of “the dumpster rolled, on it’s own, down the street on a super windy day.” We have “the dumpster zoomed past me at 20 miles an hour, making a dent into the convertible it crashed into.” Sorry, not sorry. To me it just sounds better.

Jeff- do you realize how petty that is?

Yeah. I do.

You don’t think that hurts people?

I’m not sure. I hope not; I’m just trying to breathe life into what I see as a mundane situation.

I see... well I just want to point out what Moe said earlier.

...

I’ve lied before, but I rarely do it, and only to keep the peace. I’ve found that being as blunt as Jeff isn’t all too useful.

Hey- yes it is!!

Try saying that to your ex girlfriend.

I mean-

I have a point; I know. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.

Heyyyyy... don’t put words in my mouth I didn’t say. It’s not very kind of you. :)

Alright, children. I think we should stop now.

I haven’t started anything yet. :3

Ugh... do you listen?

Stop means stop even if you don’t think you started anything.

What can I stop if there’s no start?

Pushing the issue. Besides, you don’t just bring up a guys Ex girlfriend and use it as leverage.

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I could hurt your self esteem so easily.

Okay... evidently you’re just frustrated with something, and probably need to eat. Moving on.

Well none of this would’ve-

I’ve never had enough friends where lying to one because an issue. I’ve lied to slaves before, but that’s all. And before you say anything about “slaves are illegal” remember that the rest of the universe doesn’t exactly share your purist views, and that 33% of all creatures to ever exist are slaves, serfs, or clones of some sort.

Wow, really?

Well... I guess I should specify- as a total of the planets I’ve visited before. But that data set is out of millions, so it’s a fairly accurate trend.

Shiro...? I regret to ask, but I’m genuinely curious...

Huh? Oh. Yeah. I’ve lied.

Exactly how much-

It depends. Don’t count on the truth from me though.

O.. k... uhmmm.... next... Hunter-!

I don’t have enough memories to say for sure, but I would like to say I’ve never lied...

Oh- yeah... kinda forgot about the whole memory issue we have...

I’d rather not talk about it. How about the next question? List one insecurity.

*all look at Shiro and say “you” in unison.*

Jokes aside, mine is of being alone... thanks to you guys, hopefully I never have to experience it again.

Oh uh, I think I just don’t want to lose everything... again... Sitorro?

I’m- honestly afraid all of my work will be wasted. I have to rely so much on other people, that I don’t have enough control over my work to do it myself.

I’m going to eat. Can we take a break for a bit?

Oh, sure? That might be good...?

—————————————————

(A couple hours later)

Hunter, what was that question again?

List one insecurity.

Hmm... I guess my main insecurity is something I mentioned earlier. Neither me, nor my sister, has the power to carry out the responsibility we’ve been given, and we’re just trying to do the best we can. But unlike my brother, we cannot do everything.

Didn’t you say that earlier?

Yeah. Traumatic experiences are traumatic because they hit things you’re insecure about.

Hmm. I guess that’s true.

Sh- never mind I won’t bother.

Hehe...

On to the next question?

Oh uhh... it says 45, but there is no 45. Should we do 44 instead?

Sure, I guess.

Okay. Hmm... in the timeline I come from, polygamy isn’t just only legal in certain countries. Having only one spouse was quite rare; even in the “collective nations” which was the equivalent of the US, polygamy was encouraged, not frowned upon.

Really? That’s weird.

Y- YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, THINK THATS WEIRD?

Naturally. It really is quite unusual among planets.

I’m going to agree with Jeff here. You’ve shown yourself to be a very kinky woman, and I’m sure you wouldn’t object to an orgy.

Excuse me? I’m not thirsty. I’m utilitarian.

Uti- DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

Of course. Using your resources or whatever. I don’t care- English is not my strongsuit.

Tf umm we’re going to move on from that one. Shiro you’re being skipped here.

What- h- hey what’s your pro-

Shut up. Seriously. You’re not even ahead and you’re just making it worse.

I- okay. Fine. I’m going to bed then.

Goodnight. Have a nice rest.

Goodnight. :’T

Did you know I actually show up several places in Japanese lore? I won’t specify when, but a good portion of you will be able to tell. I still need to go back there aaaaaaaa...

Interesting. Uhh, how about this? Uhh if you divide a 4/4 measure in music into 256 equal parts, the resulting note will be the Demisemihemidemisemiquaver.

O- kay...? Well, I’m here to tell you that the human brain, using some basic modifications, has the ability for telepathy.

Wait- is that everything?

Yup.

Should we shorten the transcription?

I wouldn’t bother.

Okay well then uhh... whew. Give me a couple minutes.

———

P.S. it took me two days to find enough time to write everything we said >.> holy shit. Uhh... next time maybe send these as separate asks...? Please...? Thank you...?

Love you anon! We had to scold Shiro, but this was quite fun! OwO

#sitorrothekitsune #chaos #antics #shitpost #chaos quintet #ask game #ask me anything

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exofilialovercat · 3 years

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Azrael (Draconian boy) x Gabriela (human girl) Ch 2!

Enjoy ch 2!

Gaby spent a good part of the next day choosing what to wear. All seemed too much or too less. What to wear when you want to forget your ex… and try to not crush on someone at the same time?

She messaged the draconian: ‘Hi! See you in the shopping? We can shop and drink coffee! You like cake? :3 ‘

‘See you there Gaby! I can’t wait! Coffee and cake sounds wonderful.’

Ozzie was a nervous wreck the following morning. After going through his entire wardrobe half a dozen times, he settled on a pair of black slacks and a nice shirt with a vest. The layers helped hide where he had to cut holes for his wings. “Well, Casanova you may not be, but you pass muster.” He tried to reassure himself as he left, picking up a single rose from the flower shop on the corner as he left to meet Gaby.

Gaby picked a cute long shirt and some good leggings. Enough to don’t feel she was trying too hard. She brought a bag with the shirt he borrowed from him and a sticky note with a cartoon of her saying ‘thank you ‘ . This is not a date, Gabrielle. Hold your horses. She found him easily in the shopping , he looked very handsome. Damm... Why is this not a date-date? “Ozzie! I’m here! “

Azrael jumped slightly at the sudden call of his name, but brightened when he turned to see Gaby. “Hey Ga-oh wow, you look great! This is for you...” He offered her the rose, heart pounding.

“You look good too. Even if the waiter uniform has its charm. Aw, you shouldn’t have “ she grabbed the rose and gave him the bag “ This is yours “ she smelled the faint perfume of the flower

“Thank you.” He smiled, taking a moment to enjoy Gabriela’s company before offering her his arm. “shall we?”

“ Of course “ she accepted his arm and started walking. Well, it looks like a date.

“Did you want to stop for coffee first, or to look for some cute clothes and get coffee after? “ He asked, practically floating as they walked.

“ Well, i could use some fuel . What about you? “

Ozzie chuckled and nodded. “I’ve been surviving on caffeine lately. Do you have a place you could show me with good bakery as well?”

“ We are the same... Freelance artists are 90% coffee and 10% genius “ she patted his arm “ Lets go to a small bar I know, it’s not usually super crowded and the cake is extremely good. “ She guided him .

“You’re an artist? I’m a little jealous. I can sew a bit, but that’s about the extent of my artistic ability.” He admitted sheepishly, happily letting Gaby take him where she wanted.

“ Haha , I play the cards I got . I always liked art and make comics and illustrations. I can survive doing it so I consider myself lucky . I bet you have your own talents “ she takes him to a bar that was indeed a little small. It had a menu with a nice selection of cakes . “The Triple chocolate one is to die for, it’s my favorite, ” she pointed to the menu.

“What comics do you make? Anything I might have seen?” He asked, genuinely curious. As they made their way to the little cafe, Ozzie couldn’t help but smile at how Gaby’s face lit up with excitement. She really was adorable.

“Should we share a piece then with our drinks, or would that be too forward?”

“ Oh, i don’t think so... I took part in some compilations. When I do comics, it’s always a small portion of the job. The rest it’s mostly children’s books. “ She said “ It wouldn’t be too forward , but I warn you we will need to order more “ she grinned “ This body doesn’t maintain with salad “ she joked .

“That sounds like a lovely line of work. You like children, then?” He asked while searching the menu. “Let’s each get some and share then. Variety is the spice of life, after all!”

Ozzie took her joke about her body as a chance to let his eyes sweep down across Gaby’s figure. To him she might as well have been a goddess. perfect curves and a gorgeous face that he had to stop himself from leaning in to kiss. ‘Slow down, Romeo’ he scolded himself.

“ I do, maybe one day I will have one myself... If i found the right person. Not like Mister Perfect “ she made a face .

Gaby ordered some coffee and some pieces of cakes “Strawberry cheese and triple chocolate please. Any preference Ozzie? “

Azrael made a face at the mention of her ex. “He couldn’t be very perfect if he couldn’t see a true treasure right in front of him. You and your hypothetical future child deserve nothing less than a devoted husband and father.” He said without thinking what his words might be interpreted to mean.

Looking through the menu, Ozzie noted a few of his favorite flavors. “I think I’ll go with the Italian lemon cake and red velvet.”

The waiter took the order and walked away.

“ You are an adulator!” She patted his shoulder. She was visibly blushing . “ Yeah... I actually feel better now I’m not with him anymore. The things were pretty bad already between us. I guess the faster I can move from him, the better” she winked “ At least I have a coffee with a handsome man “ ‘What the hell Gaby... Stop your mouth’.

Azrael couldn’t blush through his scales, but his tail wagged happily when Gaby’s adorable freckled cheeks blushed pink after her compliment. “Is not flattery if it is true.” He laughed, “Just enjoy yourself, Gaby dear. No pressure.”

The order finally came, the coffee was in generous cups and the cake seemed fresh . “ Please, don’t mind me , take from mine if you want, “ Gaby offered and went for a piece of the strawberry one humming pleased “ So good “.

“Only if you do the same.” Ozzie smiled, taking a long sip of his coffee before taking a bite of his lemon cake.

“ I really wanted to ask you... I hope it’s okay. Can you really spit fire? Or is it a full dragon thing? “ She hoped it was okay to ask about draconian nature .

“Fire? Ah, right… I was smoking last night, wasn’t I?” He ran a hand back through his horns, a little embarrassed. “It is harder for a half-breed like me to breathe flames than a full dragon. Normally it can only happen when I am very angry or upset.” He explained with an apologetic smile. “Hopefully that is not too much a disappointment?”

“ Oh , no! I just was curious... Like how much human or dragon you are... I don’t really know a big deal about real dragons. Like if you need to warm in the sun? Or if you have a reptile tongue? Or do you have dietary restrictions like some reptiles? Oh! I hope I’m not being rude... “ she covered her mouth suddenly.

Ozzie couldn’t help but laugh. So many people were too afraid to ask these kinds of questions, so Gaby’s curiosity was refreshing. “No rudeness at all. I am happy to sate your curiosity. Full dragons come in three varieties, depending on if they are from Europe, like my mom, Asia, or South America. In my case I am warm-blooded like humans, no dietary restrictions (though a preference for spicy and savory flavors outside of desserts) and...” he looked around to make sure they weren’t being watched before letting his 30cm long forked tongue slide out between his lips for a moment before pulling it back in with a grin.

“ Holly -! “ She felt her mind going to some non very innocent places “ Thats.... Wow “ she sipped her coffee and tried to clear her head . “ Humans feel a little boring in comparison. Would you let me draw you one day? “ She tried to change the subject a little .

“Oh, don’t sell humans short. Human passion and creativity are a marvel compared to just about any other species. That is a great gift indeed.” He said with a reassuring smile. Gaby’s request to draw him was a surprise, though a welcome one. “I would love to pose for you!” He said happily before stealing a bite of her chocolate cake and letting a purr resonate in his chest. “That IS good!”

“ Told ya’ “ she smiled. “And if you need a personalized draw, you can always call me . Like a present for a loved one, your significant other, you just ask “

“Oh, no girlfriend.” Azrael said, before taking a sip of his coffee. Was she trying to see if he was single? “Dragons and most draconians partner for life, so dating is an important matter once it becomes serious.” Hopefully that wasn’t reading too far into Gaby’s words.

“ Oh “ Gavi did a mental happy dance , maybe Ozzy liked her a little? And he was single. That was a relief, at least I can crush in someone that I can have a chance with. ”And how do you scare ladies away? You have the whole package, “ she said playfully .

Azrael’s tail began to happily thump against the cafe floor when Gabi flirted with him. His heart never had fluttered this way for someone before. “Normally the scales and tail do the scaring for me. You are about the first woman to talk to me like a normal person outside of work or family.” He admitted, trying to hide his embarrassment at his own inexperience behind another few bites of cake.

“ No way! “ She said offended “ They obviously never gave you a chance, you are a total sweetie. And everybody it’s different! My mom always told me to not judge people for the way they look , she is latina, my dad is white. That always gets nasty looks . People are just stupid. “ she stole a piece of his lemon cake .

“It is a shame more people can’t be as open-minded as you are, Gaby. The world would be a better place.” Azrael said with a wistful smile, taking her hand without really thinking and kissing the back.

“They deal with bigotry even as a human-human couple. I worry what it will be like when the one who decides she wants me has to go through the same nastiness.”

She felt her cheeks warm “ Any girl would be lucky to have you Ozzie. If people cannot see that, it’s their problem. Hey, let’s better move to a desert island and fund our own country.” She tried to light up a bit.

Ozzie nearly choked on his coffee when Gaby’s surprise joke made him laugh. “Careful, mi amor. That sounds suspiciously like a proposal. Doesn’t that usually require at least three dates?” He teased, trying not to get too lost in the idea of the two of them relaxing on a tropical beach together.

“And thank you for the compliment, Gabriela. You truly are a treasure.”

“ Well... If you need a couple of actual dates, I will not say no. They tell me I make a pretty decent spicy chicken , if you give me the chance to treat you, “ she said, almost purring . Please say yes...

“I would be delighted, so long as I can take you out in return.” Ozzie swore that he could fly at that very moment. Gaby had asked him out!

“ Then it’s settled! “ She asked for the bill and payed “ And i can wear the replacement shirt you will buy me “ she winked “ I hope the cake was at your level Ozzie “

“I was hoping you would let me get you a few outfits, to be honest.” He said with a shy smile, not daring to admit he would prefer to see her in much less clothing rather than more. “And the cake was excellent. Definitely worth using for the wedding.” He added with what he hoped was a joking tone. ‘Don’t get too carried away. You’ll scare her off.’

“ Oh, you are impossible! “ she playfully pushed him “ No need to shower me in presents, mister smooth “ she said and started walking “ I like to give them back “

“What can I say? It is my nature to want to treat my girlfriend well. I’m sure we can find a way to reciprocate.” He laughed, playing like she had pushed him much harder than she had before joining her, his arm draping around her waist as they walked together.

Gaby felt herself too into the draconian man. Her stomach twisted and her heart pounded in her chest. She tried to distract herself by looking at the cloth stores . The mission was to end the day with a smile... And maybe steal a kiss from Ozzie .

“Let me know if you see a store you want to shop in.” It was nice, this little shopping date, but Azrael had to keep reminding himself to not push too fast. He was falling hard for Gabriela, but she had just gotten out of a bad relationship and it would be wrong to pressure her into too much.

Gaby entered in one store and tried a couple of tops, she ignored the white and pink ones for obvious reasons . She even asked Ozzies opinion on the ones she tried . Let’s just go slow Gabriela , let’s enjoy some time together. Yep, just that.

Ozzie couldn’t help but enjoy himself while Gaby modeled her outfits for him. There were several tops that looked very good on her, but one in particular, sapphire blue with a somewhat lower-cut neckline than the others really caught his attention. “It is hard to say, since you are gorgeous in all of them, but the last one is my personal favorite. It shows you off in just the right way.”

“Then I take it! You know how to sell to a lady, ” she happily said and saved the new top for her .

Now the date was almost over and she needed a bit of courage to give one small last step . If she could really do it, a proper date will be a success.

After he had paid the shop clerk for their purchase, Azrael hesitated for a moment. “I know this was supposed to be just a casual thing today, but I really don’t want for our date to end.” He admitted sheepishly, his tail curling around Gaby as they took a moment to rest before continuing on to the end of their date. He had been having such a good time that he dreaded it being over.

She fell on the tail surrounding her. “ Me too, Azrael . It has been too much fun. But I have to go. Will you call me ? “ She caressed his cheek.

“Of course, Gabriela. It’s a promise... but first, please permit a greedy dragon one last indulgence before his princess escapes.” Before he could second guess himself, Azrael tilted her chin upward with a fingertip and pressed his lips to hers in a tender, longing kiss.

Gaby even surrounded his waist. His kiss was sweet, and she was practically seeing stars . Okay, I’m sold. First real date, here we go. She let herself be putty in his hands, “Ozzie... “ She whispered once the kiss ended. She smiled from ear to ear and got a little distance . “ Now you really better call me! “ She said and waved at him to go “ I’m going to be waiting!”

Gaby went home giggling like a schoolgirl

“Definitely. Today was... incredible. Too good to just be a onetime thing, no?” He purred, dreamily watching Gaby go toward her home.

Ozzie was walking on air for the rest of the day. He didn’t even mind the jokes at his expense at work. Their next date couldn’t come soon enough!

#exophilia #monster boyfriend #draconian boyfriend #monster writting #monster/human #my post

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wolferals · 4 years

Text

audition

Arón Piper imagine

saturday, january 18th 11:22pm • Today was Monday, August 22nd and all I've seen since 8am were wannabe actors reading their stupid lines to us pretending they were fucking Johnny Depp himself. God I was so sick of it, but since I've been grounded my dad made me cast people for this movie he was going to direct. Why were you grounded, you may ask. Well let's say, we just moved to Madrid basically to the end of the world since I grew up in America all my life. Yeah, my first days of school didnt really turn out to be super great, my english teacher was super racist in my opinion. She kept making „jokes" about my country/ and at some point i just snapped and told her how she dared to be so fucking racist. My class agreed with me yet my teacher didnt and put me in detention first and then called my dad. So yeah, thats why he's making me do this.

Some might think, its not a punishment to cast people for a „super cool movie" but have u ever been in a all white room for 10 hours listening to the same sentences over and over, being read by the worst people ever? No, exactly.

Its been exactly 4 hours now, its been around 12 when we decided to take a short break to get some food. I walked around the building for a while, grabbed a iced coffee at the bar and then sat down on a couch in the foyer to immediately text my friends from back home about how horrible i was feeling.

I didnt even get to text 5 words until my dad came around the corner saying something like:"Y/n, lets go. The people wont cast themselves. I mean they'd love to but that's our job." He then laughed loudly and almost couldnt stop. One thing about my dad: He thinks he's hilarious but in my opinion he's a little too full of himself. No offense, i love him of course.

Therefore I walked back to the cruel looking white room and sat down on my chair sipping my iced coffee. „Alright, next up, we have a Joshua Hamilton reading for the part of Jamey." I rolled my eyes. Yet again another Jamey. Ive heard the line:"No way Daniel, are you insane?! Have you even thought about the fact that you could get fucking killed?" about 50 times today.

And to be honest, the only person i'd like to get killed right now would be myself.

„Hello, my name is Joshua Hamilton, I'm 22 years old and I'll be reading for the part of Jamey." The tall, skinny looking guy then spoke after *extremely happy looking* entered the room. Well no offense but super happy people make me puke.

He then read his lines, horribly. He was just too enthusiastic and grinning through the entire thing. It was supposed to be a mad Jamey yelling at his brother who was about to attack his ex girlfriend's killer.

Dad then told him, they will call him. But lets be honest here, obviously they wont. • Alright so another 4 hours passed and we had almost all important characters casted, except Jamey. The crew was getting impatient and we were all super tired. „Dad how many are left?" I then asked because I wanted nothing more than this to end. „26." he answered, sounding annoyed. So was I. „Jeez, for fucks sake." I exclaimed and leaned back in my chair. „Y/n, watch your language!" He scoffed and took a sip of his water before leaning back as well.

„Okay next off we have a Arón Piper. He is Spanish-German, which wouldnt quite match with the way we pictured Jamey. But lets get the guy, kay?" Evan, the producer spoke after reading some reviews.

„Mhm." my Dad hummed. He seemed extremely tired and messed up to be fair.

As I said, I was annoyed and super damn hungry but the second this guy walked in, all my senses were on and I couldnt help but stare at him. He was tall, had curly hair, an earring on his left ear, chocolate brown eyes and a smile that could kill. „Hola,, I'm Arón." My dad seemed to like him too because he sat up straight scanning him up and down. „How old are you Arón?" Lucy, the executive producer asked him, smiling as well. „I'm 23." The handsome guy answered calm and sent me his billion dollar smile.

fuck • I smiled back and for whatever fucking reason I just said:"You must be working out, am I right?" Everyone looked at me but I didnt care, I just looked him right in the eyes and saw him laugh. „Y/n what the hell?" My dad whispered sounding pissed yet confused. „Jamey is a fit dude, he goes to the gym 6 times a week. We have to consider the fact that the actor has to be healthy and all as well." I tried to get out of the weird situation but actually I was just wishing for him to take off his shirt to show us -okay, me- his amazing abs I bet he had. „Uhm to be honest, I just dance, thats it. But you could call that a work out since Ive been doing it since I was 7 years old."

The others seemed impressed too, so Lucy cockily said:"So if acting wouldnt work, youd become a professional dancer?" Arón laughed again and answered:"Yeah, probably. But i havent even read my lines yet."

The entire time he was acting his lines, I was just staring at his god like face, every emotion, every move, every little change in his body language was perfect. My dad looked like he was impressed too and he then, after Arón had finished, spoke:"Thank you, Arón. That was amazing!" He smiled happily and answered fully paying attention:"Oh gracias, it means so much coming from you!" He walked up to my dad to shake his hand and then took back his portfolio. „Honey what do you think? Should we put him in round 2?" I looked over to my dad, took a glance at Arón who was smiling cutely at me. „Nah."

Everyone gave me a confused look and in Arón´s eyes I could see pure fear.

„I think we should give him the part.“

My dad smiled, nodded at me and then spoke:“Alright, Arón Piper, congratulations.“

Arón walked over to me and stuck his hand out for me to shake it. I slowly took his hand and, okay that might sound weird, but it felt so damn good to touch him. God I sound like a creep. No but for real his hand was a lot bigger than mine and really warm compared to my -always cold- claws. „Gracias." he said quietly and stared directly into my eyes while smiling. I wanted to say something like:"Of course, you deserve it, you were amazing." but i just couldnt, i wasnt able to look anywhere but into his beautiful brown eyes.

My dad saw that and cleared his throat loudly. „Thank you again Arón, we will call you next week for further information. But for now, since Jamey is the main male protagonist and we will be filming most of the scenes with you, we'd like to invite you and the other main actors to a dinner party tomorrow night. We hope you're free and we would text you further dates later on today."

-„Yes I'm free, that'd be amazing! Thank you so much! See you tomorrow then, bye guys." He grabbed his jacket from off the floor and left the room smiling brightly.

-„We've got it! We found, first of all the perfect Jamey, and we finally have all the actors, people!" Lucy shouted and sighed relieved. „Alright then, lets celebrate!" My dad exclaimed happily and the others stood up after him. „I'll be right out, I'll go to the bathroom real quick." I informed the guys and just simply hit the bathroom next to the audition room. When i checked back to see if the room had been locked, I noticed that a portfolio book was left on the table. I grabbed it, opened it and and noticed it was Arón's.

Right, he grabbed it before, then shook our hands and put it down again. Then he walked out without it.

So I quickly locked the door and ran through the building, past my dad saying:"Be right back." I figured, Arón couldnt have gotten very far, so I sprinted down the stairs, out of the front door of the building and i looked around if I might spot him. I then saw a guy that looked like him walking down the street towards a silver car and i ran as fast as i could to reach him.

„Arón!" I yelled and stopped once I finally reached him. „Yeah?" he was about to get in the car but turned around. „You forgot that." I passed him his book and tried to catch my breath real quick. „Oh god, thank you! I totally forgot about that. Gracias." He took it smiling.

While I was trying to breath, he opened the car door and said:"Just a second." Me, still dying from all the running, I was now leaning against a wall. „You okay?" -„Huh? Yeah. Im.. good." I was kind of embarrassed at how unathletic i was. „U sure?" he came closer and looked actually quite concerned. „Ya dont worry. Uhm.. See you.. tomorrow..at the.. party?" i tried to play it off and stood straight again Arón smiled again and answered:"Of course. Cant wait!" He then walked back to the car and sent me another smile before getting in.

Damn, this guy.

#aronpiper #aron x reader #elite #cute #casting acting #imagine

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shirts181 · 4 years

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Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be? Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

#anxiety #depression #latenightthoughts #venting #myreality #mylife #imisstheoldme #shellberightmate #bullshitery #mentalsuffering #mentalhealthissues

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its-3am-sadness · 4 years

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getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.