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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 2 days

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A Danish Werewolf in The City

The First Taste - part 1

Note: eh... surprise! the fic was getting too long for my liking, so I splitted it up and decided to drop the first part already. So... here's the first part of the last chapter, I hope you'll enjoy it!

previous chapters: part 1 - part 2

Warnings: 18+, angst/horror. mention of blood, brief mention of (child) murder and alcohol.

Wordcount: 2,4k

Masterlist

You woke up when a cold wind embraced your body as you laid in bed, hands searching for the warm covers to pull over you when you suddenly realised something was missing. You opened your eyes and found yourself all alone, your window still open and the shredded curtains dancing eerily in the early morning breeze. You felt the pillow next to you and discovered it was cold, as was the side of the bed next to you…

Sihtric was gone.

He had gone without a word, sneaking out of your window at a time you were sound asleep, and he had left nothing except for traces of dried blood. Vague memories of the night before began to creep back into your mind; the horrifying transforming of your boyfriend into that beast, the awful slaughter of the vampires, and the warmness you had felt when you cried into the wolf's fur after Sihtric had crawled in bed with you. Your eyes welled up at the disturbing memories, and the sight of dried blood on your sheets and windowsill were cause for concern. Sihtric had clearly been injured during the fight, but you hadn't noticed it when he was in his wolf shape.

You jumped up and got dressed in a hurry before you rushed to your car. You knew exactly where you would find Sihtric, as there was only one place a wounded animal like him could go to…

You ran up to the doors of your occasional workplace and found them unlocked, a sign that your gut feeling had been right. The vets didn't work on weekends, unless it was an emergency, but you hadn't received any calls and so you knew that Sihtric had found his way there to fix himself up. He betrayed his presence when he heard the entrance door slam shut after you had walked in, and he accidentally knocked over a tray with medical tools in his slight scare. You were fast to figure out which surgery room he was in, and you both froze when you found each other and locked eyes.

There he was, your boyfriend, sitting on the veterinary table in his human form. He was dressed in black sweatpants with black leather boots underneath, clearly old and worn, and probably were clothes that had been tucked in a locker in his vet office in case of emergencies. His toned upper body was bare and decorated with cuts and bruises which he had collected the night before. All wounds were stitched up by now, but fresh blood was still smudged over his pale skin, as you had caught him before he could clean himself up. Sihtric's hands trembled as you stared at him, like a deer in headlights, holding a blood drenched cloth in one hand, while his other held a half empty bottle of alcohol.

'I… I'm paying for this, don't worry,' Sihtric managed to whisper hoarsely, 'I always do.'

'What do you mean you always do?' was all you could bring out.

'This… it's not the first time I come here to fix myself up,' he said, clearly ashamed, 'I heal fast, but sometimes I need stitches. And I can't go to a hospital like this without being put into an asylum or something,' he chuckled faintly, 'hospitals aren't keen on treating werewolfs anyway. And a full sized werewolf would scare the shit out of any veterinarian too. So where else am I supposed to go? I can only go here because I work here… I didn't raid your vet place because it could get you in trouble-'

'Why didn't you ask me for help?'

Sihtric stared at you, his mouth half open as he hadn't finished his sentence, and he then looked away with a light shrug. He shook his head, indicating he didn't know why he hadn't asked for your help, and had instead left you with blooded sheets and blood stains on your bedroom floor and windowsill. But the truth was that he knew very well why he hadn't asked for help, because he knew you were afraid of him and that everything had changed.

'Why didn't you wake me up?' you asked, anger and sadness evident in your voice, 'how could you… do you even know-,' you scoffed as you couldn't find the right words, and you threw your hands up, 'what… what am I supposed to do with… with you? What… how could we ever… I- I need answers, Sihtric. I need some fucking answers.'

'I'll tell you everything,' Sihtric said gloomily, 'just ask.'

You sighed, your breath was unsteady as you grabbed a chair and sat down at the desk across from the table Sihtric sat upon. You dragged your trembling hands over your face while Sihtric was quick to gulp down the remaining alcohol left in the bottle, and he placed it on the table once it was emptied. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and then stared at you intently, waiting for you to speak.

'Those vampires,' you began, holding back your tears, 'how… I mean, you killed them. I know you did, so there must be evidence left in the woods-'

'It's taken care of,' Sihtric said curtly.

'How?'

'My pack. They took care of it when I went to find you.'

'Your… pack, okay,' you nodded slowly, slightly agitated, 'and… would you turn me to make me a part of your pack?'

'No,' he said, pained, 'never, my love, never. I would never want to turn you.'

'But why not?' you frowned, almost offended at his answer.

'Because that very first transformation is awful. It hurts so much it… it cannot be put into words. And that is a pain and a fright and a torture I wish to never put you through. Nor the… the bloodlust that comes with it afterwards. And more than anything I wish to be human, darling, more than anything,' he said softly, 'I would never want to turn anyone into something I do not wish to be.'

'So… you've never turned anyone, not even those in your pack?'

'The werewolves in my pack are stray wolves I befriended over the years. I've never turned anyone. I… I've only killed.'

'Killed,' you repeated softly, and scoffed, 'those humans and those… those babies you've killed, did you enjoy that?'

'As a human? No,' he said firmly, 'but… as a werewolf? Yes, I do. Hunting and killing is part of a wolf's nature, so it feels natural. However, when I shift, half or full, I… I am still very much aware of what I do. My human mind is there, it's just not in control-'

'So you are aware that you've killed?'

'I am,' he said sadly, 'and I am not proud of that. And I haven't killed or even attacked a human in many years, I promise.'

'Then how do you feed as a werewolf?'

'Animals,' Sihtric said quietly, 'sometimes I feed on animals.'

You gasped lightly and shook your head. For a moment you buried your face in your hands, collecting your thoughts and unable to look at the man you had been so in love with less than twenty four hours ago who now looked nothing like him anymore.

'So… those wounded animals we treat here-'

'No,' Sihtric interrupted, 'I've never attacked or wounded an animal that came through here.'

'But some… some markings on them-'

'That wasn't me!' he almost barked and threw the empty glass bottle on the floor with such force, it shattered and splintered all over the ground.

You jumped up at his sudden aggression, immediately reaching for the door and wanting to leave, but you stopped when he suddenly breathed down your neck and grabbed your arm. He backed you up against the door, his trembling hands lightly holding your face, giving you every chance to shove him away, but you just couldn't get away from him, because you just didn't want to.

'I'm sorry. I am… and I… I don't know where this leaves us,' Sihtric spoke soft and hoarsely, 'but if… if you can't be with me because it's too much,' he swallowed hard, trying to sound confident and tough, but it was evident he was heartbroken, 'if my werewolf side is too much, then I understand you do not want to be with me anymore. I already… tried to accept the fact you will break up with me. And I'm sorry… I'm sorry for everything you had to witness,' his voice died with a whiny sob as he desperately fought his emotions, without success, 'I know you will leave me… I know it, but I… I don't want you to.'

You sniffled and placed your hands on his neck, while tears rolled down his cheeks as he leaned his forehead against yours. You wept silently and slowly reached for his face, gently cupping his cheeks and moving closer to kiss his lips. A kiss you drowned in as soon as he wrapped his arms around you, and you melted in his warm embrace while you tasted the alcohol with a faint hint of blood on his tongue.

'It's you,' he whispered against your lips as he cried, 'you… please, I only want you. I'm sorry. Please, don't… don't leave me… I know it's a lot, but please-'

'I- I need time,' you whispered with a sob, 'I don't know if I can… if we could ever be- I'm sorry, Sihtric, but this is just the first taste I'm getting of this side of you,' you looked up at him as he stepped back, and you wiped your tears, 'just… please, just know that I love you, okay?'

You stared up at him when his eyes became threatening while his jaw was clenched tightly. And suddenly you began to fear the man in front of you, and no longer just the beast that was inside of him.

'Sihtric,' you began to stammer as you watched him back away, 'I… I love y-'

'You don't!' he suddenly raised his voice, then exhaled sharply and looked away from you again as he started to pace around the room, 'you don't love me,' he muttered as if speaking to himself, his voice trembled while his hands raked through his loose hair and the broken glass crushed underneath his heavy boots with every step he took, 'you couldn't possibly love me, you couldn't. No one can. No one could love a monster. Just… just go, please, just go.'

'Sihtric,' you tried, 'please, just-'

'Go!' Sihtric snarled as he lashed out, 'just go and leave me!'

Several months passed since you had last seen Sihtric. You had replaced the curtains and scrubbed the blood off your wooden floor, but the claw markings outside your window were still there. You had been heartbroken since you last saw him, and even though you had expected that time would heal you up, it simply hadn't. You were still in love with him, and it was an ongoing battle inside of you ever since that frightful night in the woods. How could you love a man who could shift into a werewolf, being fully aware of his doings? Sihtric was a monster in a way, you knew that, but you also knew that he was a good man who truly loved you.

After your abrupt break-up you slowly started to research werewolves and all beings alike, after you had taken some time to let it all sink in. You read frightening lore and heard the strangest stories as you spend hours listening to podcasts about apparent sightings. You desperately wanted to understand Sihtric and prove to yourself that he wasn't dangerous, or a monster. But you couldn't deny the horrors he had participated in and those you had witnessed yourself. And yet, after everything that had happened, you knew too that Sihtric had never harmed you and only ever wanted to protect you.

But Sihtric was, like you, conflicted about his being. He had been at peace with it and in control for the most part, but knowing it was the reason you couldn't be with him had ripped him apart. You had never called him a monster out loud, and you never had to, Sihtric could clearly read it in your eyes whenever you had looked at him the last time he saw you at the vet. And he figured that if the monster inside of him was going to destroy his life anyway and take all he loved, he might as well embrace his being

And that's what he did.

When human, Sihtric had delved into researching and tracing down every vampire coven nearby after you had split up. For it was vampires who had caused him to shift that night in the woods, with you by his side, so it was on them he sought his revenge. He stopped chaining himself up during the full Moon, completely destroying the set up he had made in his shed and allowing himself to shift without keeping any control over it, only to then roam the dark streets as the beast he was. Lurking in the darkness with his pack, hunting down and slaughtering every vampire they could possibly find after scouting their hideouts during the day. And the blood on his paws stained his hands too, for every cut and bruise he received as a werewolf in his reckless attempt to mend his broken heart, his human body suffered the very same damage and his eyes witnessed the murders.

Every night Sihtric would stroll by your home in his full wolf form, observing the area for hours to make sure you were safe. Some nights you woke up in the dead of night, swearing you had heard his howl in the distance or his soft whines just outside your window. But every time you looked outside, hoping to see a black wolf with mismatched eyes looking up at you, you found nothing but darkness as far as you could see. And your heart sank as you believed that it had just been another dream you had about him, like almost every night.

Sihtric became battered and bruised over time, and it angered him that he never felt better after each slaughter he had survived and each win he gained. As time continued to pass, he slowly began to realise that even if he killed every other creature of the night, it still wouldn't bring you back to him and his beating heart would remain empty and broken inside of his chest. He knew nothing would bring you back and, to his horror, he started to realise he was turning into his father after all; a cold-hearted killer. Because he may have only killed vampires, but he knew very well that, just as werewolves, not all vampires have ill intent.

And when another full Moon was approaching, Sihtric stepped into the shed in his backyard and made a list of everything he needed to restrain himself again, in order to not roam the streets and kill more of the creatures he would forever blame for losing you.

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