phenomenal episode overall. kendall demanding clouds because he saw them in berlin and trying not to cry when the stagehands cannot in fact build berlin in a day. matsson walking barefoot across a tarmac. shiv and tom biting deep into each other's forearms to see who can withstand the pain the longest in public at a fancy business event. roman firing a random woman because she didn't seem to think he lived up to his dad. roman firing gerri because she doesn't think he lives up to his dad. roman regretting firing gerri immediately and asking ken to undo it but ken is overjoyed and says it's what dad would do so roman smiles and says okay. kendall floating faceup in a body of water that he dove into of his own accord. shiv booking an empty conference room to cry in when no one's around. gerri saying fuck. karl serving cunt. roman genuinely feeling bad about not including shiv, apologizing to her, and asking if they could all hug. kendall announcing a bizarre dystopian real estate project that's framed as 'like a cruise but on land and forever and by forever we mean forever we're talking cryogenics.' tomshiv playing straight chicken all episode. roman listening to an edit of his father insulting him over and over on the ride home. everything i ever could've wanted
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i think what i admire most about this record after sitting with it for a full day is the marriage of its musicality and its lyricism.
lyrically..."nihilistic" is a really good way of putting it. i was honestly kind of floored by how goddamn bleak so much of the lyricism on this record is. there's so much desolation, so much hopelessness, so much struggling to find meaning in meaninglessness. lyrically, i think this might be some of pete's darkest but also some of his best work. there's so much grappling with the feeling that maybe it's all pointless. maybe none of it fucking gets better. maybe you're always going to be fighting to figure out some kind of sense and feeling displaced and the further you look toward the horizon, the more the inevitability of the end scares the living shit out of you.
so much (for) stardust is utterly desolate lyrically. even little granules of hope feel tongue-in-cheek or in denial. so...what? does anything ever get better? are we all just flailing around, trying to make our stupid lives make sense? but at the same time, fall out boy are the happiest they've ever been as a band. they waited five years so they could savor making this record and they were genuinely excited to share it with all of us. pete is wearing skirts and letting his hair down and they're playing songs that once got them booed off stage with fearless love in their eyes and they're looking after each others' mental health and supporting one another through it all. what does it mean for a band to release something this somber at this point in time for them?
the "reality bites" pink seashell speech sums it all up kind of perfectly. so maybe life is inherently meaningless, but at the same time...there's good food. there's beautiful weather. there are still good movies, and the sound of rain on the windows, and hope, and friendship, and joy. maybe there's no point. but that doesn't change that there's still laughter. there's still love.
and that's what's in the sound of this record. the big, cinematic swell of an orchestra. the upbeat chirps of a synth. the screeching of a guitar and some bouncy, catchy goddamn riffs that'll live under your skin for days. this is a record you dance to and cry to. (cry a little, cry a lot, but don't stop dancing, don't dare stop.) sonically, this is a record laden with grit and delight and a powerful sense of purpose, from catchy pop hooks to roaring, cinematic anthems. it sits in delicious contrast to the words but it doesn't undermine them. it complements them. happy music for sad people.
of course there's pain, and there's frustration, and the world is full of tragedy and hopelessness and maybe the worst part of it is that it doesn't go away once you grow up. as you get older, you don't ever magically learn how everything clicks together. you just have to fumble through it and hope for the best, even if it feels like it never gets any easier.
it's a hard lesson to learn. but you aren't alone in it. so what fates do we share? we're all stardust. we all share the same end. we are not alone in our fears and uncertainties and we will not be alone at the end either, not really. we came from stardust and to stardust we will return.
i think if there is a hope i can take away from this record it's like...this feeling that it doesn't get better, really. but you do get better at living with it, and to someone like me, that's vital. years ago i had to come to terms with the valuable, painful lesson that i will not, mentally, neurologically, ever get "better." there will never be a point where i am "cured" of all that i must live with. but i've grown better at living with it. and there are things out there that i'm living for anyway - good food, better friends, and maybe a long-anticipated record you need to put on replay for a good long while as you soak it in.
maybe none of this matters, in the end. but if it doesn't, then this is what matters. this.
"if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do."
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Tumblr v. Twitter
I was laughing to Mr. Mojo about the whole Goncharov thing we've collectively been manifesting this weekend, and he pointed out what is possibly the most meaningful and fundamental difference between Tumblr and Twitter.
He said, On Twitter, no one says 'we'.
Tumblr is a mutable organism that is greater than the sum of its parts. We are a ‘we’.
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Listen, the greatest appeal of Diluven is how desperately chained Diluc is to his past, to his personal losses, to the expectations of his father's legacy, because Venti is the god of liberation, of hope, the breaker of chains, the capricious breeze that ever uplifts--it's about letting yourself be set free, listen--
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yeah im rewatching cause i need to experience this again with the full knowledge of all the character journeys (to appreciate the Build) and i noticed this the first time around but needed to fact check myself
jamie said his tattoo means "arm" in chinese?
this is 日落 which means sunset. there's a 成语(idiom) 日落风生 which means "a gentle breeze comes with the sunset". its very gentle and poetic. what im trying to say is that jamie was a gentle boy with a sunset tattooed on his arm from the very start
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no bc the way i perceive pjo!nico, hoo!nico and toa!nico as completely different persons? like having distinct personalities? and i dont mean it as "growth" or "development" but just straight up character inconsistency by rick 💀. idk i feel like pjo (specifically nico in tlo) & toa nico are basically the same which is great, but hoo nico was...... something else. and no it's not bc of his trauma, for me it feels more like rick couldnt manage completely well nico's facets and changes, the way everyone saw him and the way he saw himself, and dont come at me saying that its bc wHen hE's nOt iN DangEr hE's SillY because you can see tlo!nico AND toa!nico making jokes even when in mid dangerous situations, so that wasnt the reason why. the changes in characterization in nico going from pjo to hoo then toa feel not gradual but kind of rushed, piled up
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