#The only exception is the fuckin hive mind at the very bottom

[sleepymccoy]

Aziraphale’s demon aspect

As voted by 246 people!

The winner is

Owl

with nearly 26% of the primary vote

many people added in their free form answers that they were imagining a barn owl specifically

Owl was the front runner the whole way through this survey, but most of the time by a very beatable margin. The 40 or so people who voted in the last night really tipped it over, it was a tight race! And the results are crazy split imo, a quarter of votes constitutes a win! I love the different opinions and ideas we all have so so much

Ram/sheep came in a hearty second with 16.5% of the vote

A very regal demon there.

After that it gets a little murky, so I’m going to share the second graph I made when is every animal that got more than 1% of the vote. So it’s the top six animals

Magpie and Lion holding strong! Then Moth and Goat looking very good

The second question let you vote for as many options as you thought were appropriate for Aziraphale! So, there were a lot more write-ins! It’s crazy!

I’m using google sheets so I can’t get it to show you every name, but the raw data will be in a read more so you can scroll through everyone’s beautiful imagination there

Again, Owl winds with a solid 20% of the vote. Ram/Sheep coming in with about 15%, followed by Moth, Magpie, Goat, Lion, then Tortoise.

Tortoise was 11th in the first round, tied with Snake (but pale), and managed to surprise me by coming through so strong in the second. Slow and steady, baby.

Nearly everyone who wrote in about Magpies told me that Magpies hoard stuff, so it’s nice to see the hive mind at work there!

Five people told me they were voting goat because of that one piece of art by @hollow-head​ that shows Aziraphale scaling a bookshelf like goats do cliffs. As an artist myself I found it legitimately moving that this one image had stayed with people so strongly. That’s just beautiful. Here’s an example of just one person’s comment

idk dude i just remember one person posted art of him scaling the bookstore shelves like those goats scale mountains and just eating his clothes while he reads it was so fuckin funny but anyway goat eyes are great or he could have lil stubby horns that r covered by his hair

One moth enthusiast took the time to give me a short essay on their choice of moth. I have included a portion of it, cos it was so great

So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Here’s a flannel moth for everyone

and a poodle moth, which i honestly thought was a hoax but i looked into it just now and it seems legit? There’s not a tonne of proof, but the og pictures are from a scientists who stands by them, so like, wow

And then a DIFFERENT PERSON put this in;

the moth i had in mind is Acherontia atropos, in polish called Zmierzchnica trupia główka (meaning more or less "dusk death's head"). i have a whole symbolism planned out and stuff 

Fucking, moth fandom come through!!

I’m vaguely scared of moths, fun fact. I don’t like the thick thunking sound they make when they hit stuff.

Here is the second round but with all the animals that got four or less votes removed for ease of viewing

the one segment there at 12 o’clock that google hasn’t labeled for me is Swan at 0.9%

I cannot believe I didn’t put swan in as an option, that’s all write-ins

So, to summarise, I suggest you take a lot of this with a grain of salt. It is not meant as an instruction to fandom or to railroad creativity. I have a narrow corner of the Good Omens fandom that I interact with, and while this quiz was up for a week I’m not sure it reached a great variety of people. About 250 folks filled it out, which was tonnes more than I expected and I love each and every one of you for filling it out!! But I have noticed that Owl was first on my list and in the free form answers the example prompt I gave included, “such as a breed of owl that specifically speaks to you,“ so I think it’s possible I did that unknowing bias thing that practiced survey folk know now to do. So, grain of salt.

I also think that if animals like Swan and Cat were in the list of options they’d’ve gotten more votes because the people who voted for those were coming up with it fresh themselves. I suspect people would’ve voted for them, but it just didn’t occur to them in the moment. In much the same way it didn’t occur to me in the moment I was writing this survey.

So people know, I got the ten or so animals that I put in the survey from searching the demon!aziraphale tag on tumblr, so it was all stuff that other people had come up with. I was trying to avoid my own bias, but i think in hindsight i could’ve done better!

Having said all that, this was all so much fun and the results are clear!!! Love a good owl!aziraphale

Imma continue to draw my boy as a ram, though. Cos this was all just for a laugh <3

numbers and a few more things under the cut

So some of these have half a vote ascribed to them. That’s for people who in their freeform answer said things like this;

ngl, that one post about him being a swan still makes me laugh

Mourning Dove. Though that Scallop answer was fucking brilliant

And I kinda made a judgement call that that wasn’t a vote, but it was kind of a vote. So I gave them half a point.

There were a few situations where people would write in a specific species. If I got more than one vote for the root animal I just grouped them together, but if it stayed the only vote then it kept the species. Cat got the most specific species mentioned, and in the second vote Bat had a few species mentioned (albino bat being my fave), but I ended up grouping them all just under Cat and Bat to give them a better chance of getting on the graph. There were probably a few other examples but I can’t think of them. The one exception to this is the person who wrote-in Duolingo Owl specifically. For that one I figured Owl is already pretty solid, and that’s just fucking funny, man

I was also pretty generous about some stuff. So, this person didn’t vote for Moose but they clearly regretted it so I added a vote for Moose in the second one where you could vote for multiples. They kept their Ram and Goat votes, of course, but I added Moose for them

I get very bastard energy from my demon az headcanons. Like f-ing shit up for a laugh more than anything, but otherwise indifferent. That's kinda why I like the ram/sheep/goat thing so much because it reminds me of indifference and random chaos. Or a moose. Shit, I should have written in moose

So yeah, it’s hardly a double blind study that’d stand up to any real criticism, but it was fun and I think the essence of it is fun!! Scroll through and have a read. Imma pull a few more of my fave write-ins and put them down the bottom cos it’s great. Esp the ones that only got one vote, the reasonings were stellar on some of those

Here is the first vote results, where everyone could only vote for one animal each

Owl 63 Ram/Sheep 40 Magpie 28 Lion 26 Moth 21 Goat 17 Swan 4 Eagle 4 Dove 4 Cat 4 Tortoise 3 Snake 3 Scallop 2 Rat 2 Rabbit 2 Mongoose 2 Badger 2 Shima Enaga 1 Shark 1 Porcupine 1 Orangutan 1 Mouse 1 Long Furby 1 Hippopotomaus 1 Goose 1 Duck 1 Dragon 1 Cow 1 Cereberus 1 Boar 1 Bee 1 Bat 1 Alpaca 1

Second Vote results, where everyone could vote for as many as they wanted

Owl1 82 Ram/Sheep 136 Moth 108.5 Magpie 98 Goat 96 Lion 72 Tortoise 61 Snake 37 Eagle 33 Cat 9.5 Swan 7.5 Lizard 4 Rabbit 4 Badger 3 Mongoose 2 Dove 2 Mouse 2 Squirrel 2 Bear 2 Raccoon 2 Capybara 2 Dragon 2 Bat 1 Long Furby 1 Rat 1 Boar 1 Goose 1 Peacock 1 Pangolin 1 Lindworm 1 Moose 1 Chinchilla 1 Duolingo Owl 1 Cackatoo 1 Crow 1 Cow 1 Alpaca 1  Dodo 1 Shark 1 Big Dog 1 Snow Leopard 1 Scallop 0.5

All voting was optional. To help explain how scallop lost 1.5 votes from first to second, I believe the people who voted for it in the first question just skipped the second cos they’d said their bit.

In terms of how many people engaged with the questions, Q1 had 245 answers and one skip. Q2 had 241 answers and 5 skips, and Q3 where I just let people talk at me if they wanted to had 84 answers and 162 skips.

So please enjoy my selection of free form answers. They all made me smile but putting all 84 in seems excessive to me, so I’ve chosen the ones that are either full blown mini essays or that make me laugh. It’s still a lot, this project brought me so much joy

-

Shima enaga - It's the hair man

Cow (aka golden calf)

Scallop. He is a snack.

Swan. Elegant but very capable of fscking you up. Mates for life.

basically anything that is both gentle in nature and fiercely loyal, territorial and protective (but prone to anxiety). Also hedonistic esp. with food. For all of these reasons, I think a dog would be the best choice.

Dragon with his hoard of books

it’s about the teeth. just too sharp and too many to be human. (comment from op here, this person voted for shark, just for context)

Turkish Angora cat. Magnificently fluffy, incredibly intelligent, love heights and will jump off crazy high things and land on your head, gloriously dignified until they see a string and run into a wall, love one or maybe two persons to distraction and want everyone else to fuck off, will drape themselves over their person’s shoulders and go to sleep, range from “will jump in the sea to hunt fish and has a murder pit full of seagulls they’ve massacred” to “will fall over at the sight of a baby bird”, very particular about food and will yell at you if you get it wrong. Also the breed that some asshole took three cats from and bred parent to child to make Persians. The cautionary tale has been acknowledged and we love our crazy smart, single braincelled children.

I usually imagine him as an owl because they are nocturnal (and we know that Aziraphale can easily stay awake the whole night reading). Also the image of an owl puffed up is kind of ridiculous and reminds me of him, of how an annoyed Aziraphale would look. However the options above have made me think that a lion would suit him very well, too. A lion or just a very BIG cat. I mean, he makes pleading eyes to get what he wants, likes to be confortable, is a bit of a bastard and often puts himself in awkward situations from which he needs to be rescued. He just... acts very cat-like in my opinion. Also owls and cats are both predators, but are usually imagined (or, at least cats are) as cute little creatures, just like Aziraphale is an Angel of the Lord (a Warrior, actually) but looks all soft and cute and huggable. I dunno. Maybe I just want to pet an Aziracat.

I love all the other people's thoughts about demon!Aziraphale, but what about the honey badger? I try to explain why I have it in mind for demon!azi: its name (I think it's funny, expecially in English because 'honey' can make you imagine it's something sweet (it is for me), while the 'bad' in badger can be an alarm bell (like 'be careful! It is not like it seems!')); its face (ok, who can say its face isn't cute? I think, and hope, nobody can, and like the name, it is a misunderstanding: as always, be careful, it's not like it seems!, I think demons can say something about demon!azi as like "you don't seem like a 'good' demon, you can't be, your face (animal and human) is too f-ing disgusting sweet to be a demon!", I think maybe even angel!crowley, at the beginning, can think something like this ("how in the world somebody so cute like you can be a demon?"), then he discovered how demon!azi can be a very talented demon sometimes, but in Crowley's mind azi is still his little cutie angry furry); its furry's colour (black=demon, white/grey/silver/idkitsname= color of demon!azi's wings, because even if he fell, I can't say no to his white wings 😭); it is a snake's predator (and in my mind angel!crowley is still a snake); its solitary life (demon!aziraphale is alone and he doesn't mind it, unless it's angel!crowley we're talking about, then our cute demon minds it); its behaviour (demon!azi, even if he's cute, can be a really very talented demon: honey badger is fearless and dangerous, it can fight bigger animals if there aren't other chances and it can't escape); its skin is very tough (except for a soft/safe spot, behind its neck if I remember well, that only angel!Crowley knows and sometimes he uses it to calm demon!azi down or make azi do some good deeds); its diet (it has a sweet-thooth, for honey in primis, but it can eat everything it wants... Doesn't it resemble demon!azi?); it's smart (search for Stoffle on your browser if you don't know)... Ok,I think I finish, sorry for the novel 😅

I tend to think of animals that meet three criteria: (1) they exemplify “faults” in his character exaggerated to “sins”—gluttony, greed/hoarding, sloth, (2) they are species that favor fawning or flight as a defense mechanism but can also be bold on occasion, and (3) blend very well or have a keen affinity with human society, specifically thriving in urban (i.e., city) environments. This is mostly because I can’t see “Aziraphale” in a reverse AU that doesn’t preserve some of his core traits as an angel (a little hedonistic, hoarding, anxious, etc.). So I like city-dwelling bastard animals with bonus points for relation to scripture, like a rock dove or a fox or an owl.

Owls aren't  smart, and the pedant in me says not an owl. But, thinking on it, demon aspect, owls are perceived as smart, but designed as deadly silent predators, patient and solitary. So actually demon Aziraphale could take on more owlish aspects. I just like cockatoo better, since they are smart, and showy. Or a crow, although that does amusing things with Crowleys name.

god imagining him as a chimera is !!! (comment from op, there was this odd flurry of mythical animals being voted for one night. i think the survey hit a corner of fandom that leans that way. there was also dragon, another chimera, a griffon, and a lindworm all at the same rough time)

Magpies are great because they’re cute and fluff themselves up (go look at Sophie the magpie) and like hoarding their favorite things but also I’ve watched one just straight up kill another bird before because corvids are sneaky little bastards with no lack of a mean streak if they’re crossed

It’s the duolingo owl, I’m so sorry op but it just is. I genuinely don’t mean to clown on your post, but this take was delivered to me in a sleep induced haze and I believe it’s the god given truth. Demon Aziraphale WOULD try to make you learn a dead language and he’d go about it in a vaguely threatening way (comment from op, you’re so fucking right dude. also, shit like this is made for clowning, i’m with you 100%)

When choosing a demon aspect for a Aziraphale, I usually tried to keep in mind the artistic tradition of which animals are linked with demons. The Good Omens team seems to have drawn inspiration from that source because all the animals we do see are either reptilian or insectoid. Those species were often shown inhabiting hellish landscapes in Renaissance and Baroque paintings. However, Aziraphale never struck me as cold or slimy or hard like an exoskeleton. So if I had to choose an insect, it would be a moth, preferably a Megalopygidae, also known as the Flannel Moth. They are fluffy, white-beige and look innocent and fluffy, but their larvae can cause painful inflammations. A poodle moth would also fit because it's almost pure white.

Ok so the only reason I pick magpie is because those bastards are smart as hell but also know how and when to inconvenience the shit out of you, and if you gain their trust then they're absolute darlings but if they decide "nah, dont like ya" then you're basically done and you'll wake up every morning with shit on your car window. I also chose sheep/ram cuz I mean... idk it suits him. I don't remember my other choice but I'm sure I had a good reason.

I feel like a barn owl would suit him well but I'm not really sure why, I also think that a moth would suit him really well because of the whole "moth to a flame" thing and as a demon he would have gotten burned because of that attitude.

I write a reverse AU fic called Lambs to the Slaughter where Aziraphale's demonic aspect is an albino sheep! I imagine him as a mix between a wild Argali ram and the first woolly domestics. I chose an Argali because they're the largest species of wild sheep, but I wanted him to have traits of a domestic breed because he obtains his animal aspect from a sheep in Abel's flock which would be several generations down from the original wild species in Eden. I really think a sheep suits Aziraphale! They're an incredibly common animal and have been since they were first domesticated. Likewise, since the start of human history, Aziraphale has been living side-by-side with humans, providing for them, and protecting them. Due to how common they are, sheep are often unnoticed, which Aziraphale leans into. Crowley wants to stand out. He has a dedicated aesthetic and an obsession with human invention, where Aziraphale leans more towards simpler, known things and creature comforts. He fades into the background, and that suits him fine. He doesn't have to be outstanding to Heaven or to humans or even to Crowley -- it's enough to do his part, to trust in a bigger plan. People associate sheep (especially lambs) with innocence or ignorance which foils nicely to Crowley as the serpent tempting with knowledge, as well as with Aziraphale's own sharp mind and ongoing embers of faith in a system that is failing him, Crowley, and all of humanity. Sheep are, like Aziraphale, soft, cute, and hiding a hard-headed stubbornness and a surprising strength that makes them absolutely fearsome. Aziraphale is very much the sort to put his head down and push relentlessly forward regardless of the pressure and strain. Rams in particular have thick skulls to withstand the brutal force of headbutting one another in displays of dominance. While Aziraphale is clever, he's not above rolling up his sleeves and getting the job done, as messy and unpleasant as it might be (see: pulling a gun on the Antichrist). Also sheep are associated with Pan, a god associated with food, music, theatre, and the criticism thereof, which hit many of Aziraphale's personal interests and hobbies! I like the idea that in a reverse AU, the demon formerly named Aziraphale might be the original basis for Pan!

I wrote in Orangutan for the first question because if I remember correctly they are some of the most violent apes. Although I'd accept bonobo for him too. They fuck alll the time.

mothman aziraphale,,,,, thats it

Snowy owl, speremint's tortoise, and I just adore the goat.

moth - dusty and eats books

Long Furby the way Loni-Capri draws it.

I keep thinking about that Black Philip quote "doest thou wish to live deliciously" because... it fits so much with the general epicurean/hedonism vibe the Fandom has for him ... but in a demonic way and also I think a lot abt that art piece (already referenced many times probably but what the hell) of him climbing his own bookshelves, it's just so good!!

Albino Lion/white lion (matches his hair).  I feel like maybe I should explain why I think Lion would fit him best, lol. Lions actually are rather sedate, inactive for 20 hours of the day (see: Aziraphale reading and unmoving- yes I pulled wiki for this to make sure I didn't spout anything terribly wrong, shhh)  but also there's nomad lions. Lions that range widely and move around sporadically either alone or in pairs (*looks at Crowley after apoconope*) (pairs are more frequent among males who have been excluded from their birth pride)  but also I think of lions as protectors, defenders, and what is Aziraphale if not that? If not an angel who fiercely protects humans, crowley, earth? (When he finally overcomes heaven and it's abuse) lions don't hunt unless they're hungry, don't attack unless they're defending. They've been known to sit directly next to jeeps full of people and just watch them, not attacking or being aggresive.

I saw art once (I have no idea who the artist is) of Demon!Aziraphale climbing his bookcases like a goat and absentmindedly chewing on his sweater while he reads. I felt like the goat aspect suited him perfectly.

Honestly I wrote Az with a rat aspect because, well, it fits who I see demon Az as. He's not super powerful but he is very consequential, like rats carrying plague fleas (this also describes how I see Az tempting). He tries to blend into a crowd, which is arguably one way rats survive, and can get himself into places/situations that should be impossible or super difficult. Like snakes, rats have been unfairly maligned by our culture for a long time, even though they are very social with their colonies, smart, affectionate, and generally good beans. Finally, male pet rats are known far and wide as the lazier of the sexes while the girls are super curious and adventurous.

Somehow his tartan pattern becomes either his colour scheme or his coat/feather pattern.

Eurasian eagle owl. A big, unapologetic grump of an owl that is soft as soft can be underneath. Possessor of the glare to end all glares to be used in such dire situations as being interrupted when reading or being told one has "had enough cake".

#demon!aziraphale #reverse omens #sleepy speaks #fandom vote #aziraphale's demon aspect #this was so fucking fun you all

[peace-love-piper]

Before the Mugwumps Concert

Where: Borgin & Burke’s, Knockturn Alley

Who: Piper, Cass, Maeko, Oz

When: 29 December 2015

Summary: Before going to a concert (tickets provided by Flitterby Radio Station), two unusual new acquaintances learn some important information about each other.

[NOTE: This drabble is a collab with Kira - I will edit this if we decide to eventually add more to it!]

Cass couldn’t really believe that Piper lived in Knockturn Alley. He kept his head down, trying to avoid being seen- or rather, trying to avoid seeing the people he knew. A lot of donor addicts and shady, predatory vampires hung around there, their feeding habits were too destructive to go somewhere like Caro. Cass didn’t want to consider himself among them, so when he found Piper’s address he knocked on the door rather hastily, and didn’t really think about who had let him in until he was in the store.

“Well hello, scrumptious.” Cass frowned at the decidedly not-Piper’s voice, whirling around to find a dishevelled looking, half-naked wizard standing there, chin resting in his hand as he swept a gaze over Cass. Cass felt self-conscious being looked at. He dressed differently for gigs, all leather jackets, tight trousers and a pink button-up shirt that had a few too many buttons open. Cass even wore a large, ornate silver cross with some other chains. For cheek. 

“Erm, I think I’m in the wrong place… I’m here to see Piper.” Cass said awkwardly, stepping back to leave when he bumped into something, which immediately elicited a high pitched screaming sound. Cass squeaked, clamping his hands over his ears. “I’m sorry!”

It was truly mind-boggling, thought Oz, where Piper Oliver managed to find all the most delectably nervous little nerd boys. As if they flocked to her like bees in a fuckin hive. And maybe they did—Oz still didn’t really understand her whole Veela-thing. 

Not like he was complaining, though. The opposite; a stroke of brilliant luck him and Maeko had stumbled unknowingly into when Piper Oliver had waltzed through their front door, bringing not just her sunshiney good cheer (which was in dire need around these gloomy nooks of town) but also Loxley with his stupid-cute puppy and his floppy hair and his uncanny penchant for growing weed.

And this pale leather-clad gawky little snack. 

“Hmm, Piper…not ringin any bells m’afraid…” Oz drawled exaggeratedly, drumming his fingers on his facial hair facetiously, “…Mae, d’you know a ‘Piper?’” 

Maeko, who was sitting on the stairs and licking closed an absolutely impeccable spliff, shrugged her shoulders, playing along. Her bright blue eyes glinted wickedly as she said, “Pipe? I’m more of a papers-girl, myself…” before she stuck the spliff in her mouth indicatively and sparked the end of it with a snap of her fingers, blowing thick smoke rings toward their skittish visitor. Oz snickered loudly at the joke; he did love his half-sister’s wit. 

He moved closer to the boy, causing the other to knock into a hideous and honestly just a bit phallic oxblood-red statue that was standing up near the door, which promptly began to shriek and wail quite wretchedly. Oz exchanged a look with Maeko, dropping their Torment-the-Cute-Boy Act, and she stood up, her brows furrowed in confusion and curiosity.

Just then Piper appeared at the top of the stairs, a vision in distressed acid-washed bell-bottoms and an embroidered halter crop top, her hair feathered out gold like a disco goddess—actual gold, metallic that caught the light. Honestly if Oz were to ever entertain the notion of being with a woman, it would be Piper Oliver. She skipped down the stairs, frowning prettily and said, raising her voice to be heard over the mewling echoing sound, “What is—oh, hello Cass! What is that? Some sort of alarm?”

“Yeah…” Maeko said, handing Piper the lit spliff before walking closer to the statue to examine it. “…but it must be broken. Supposed to detect vampires.”

Maeko set the statue back right-side and it suddenly stopped wailing. And then all three of them—Piper, Maeko, and Oz—looked at Cass expectantly.

Cass looked down at the piece of parchment Piper had scribbled her address on and frowned, then looked up and between the two strange wix in the shady store. No way would someone as cool-looking as Piper live in a dump like this, anyway. “I-uh, I c-could’ve just got the wrong address. N-No worries.” He said hastily, shifting uncomfortably at the way Oz was looking at him. It reminded him rather oddly of the way vampires looked at some prey.

He was coughing from the sudden intrusion of smoke blown in his direction, waving his hand in front of his face, and trying to back away from the wizard when he bumped into it, and Cass was immediately overhwelmed, mostly by the screeching sound- which felt like it was aching right into his fucking core, a nail being pressed into his skull. Cass squeezed his eyes shut, clamping his hands down a little harder- he didn’t see or hear Piper’s arrival. HIs Dad had warned him about stuff like this. Vampire detection alarms, they kept people like him practically immobilised while hunters could go and grab their stakes… Panic seized Cass and he tried to turn, tried to run, but his head hurt so fucking much that even thinking about leaving hurt just a little more.

Suddenly, the sound was gone and Cass’ shoulders sagged with relief. He looked between the two wix with wide, nervous eyes, about to step back again to scramble away when he saw Piper standing there, staring at him. All three of them were staring at him, actually. Cass just stood there, folding his arms to squeeze his shoulders up. “Uh- um- it’s not… S’not broken. I can… I- I can go. Sorry.” 

He didn’t blame her for having one of them, really. People didn’t know what they didn’t know. Cass turned to leave, being very, very careful of the statue by the door, eyeing it carefully as he edged past it and towards the entry again.

Piper drew in an inaudible little gasp and the muscles in her body stiffened instinctually from where she was stood on the bottom step of the staircase. “Vampires?” she said in a small voice, her eyes wide, the smoke from the forgotten spliff in her hand twisting and writhing up toward the high ceilings. It was a silly reaction, Piper knew it was; she was an open-minded and loving person, who tried her very best to be accepting of all living things on earth—but that seed of mistrust had been planted in Piper’s brain so, so long ago, nurtured into persistent fear and wariness by her mother and her cousin and the tragedies that had befallen her kind at the hand of vampires and magical society in recent years, that the uneasiness came before Piper could stop it. 

Piper watched Cass stumble through some words and make to retreat from the house, her forehead dimpling in confusion; everything had happened fast and Piper was slow on the uptake, not immediately putting the pieces together. Maeko did, though, and a steely protective expression settled over her already harsh features. Being closest to the door, Maeko stepped in front of it, blocking Cass’ exit point, and she folded her arms in front of her chest; she was a wiry sort of thing, but something about her general presence exuded a formidable sense of power. Only a truly foolhardy idiot would try to cross Maeko Burke. 

Oz, unabashedly tactless as ever and with a near-compulsion to cut through obviously tense situations, looked at Cass and then at Piper and said with a grin, “Well twist my Irish nipples, Sugarplum—ya didn’t tell me your newest flavor was a vampire. The terms of your lease absolutely require that ya fuckin disclose any and all gorgeous vampy houseguests.” 

“I—I didn’t…” Piper stammered stupidly, looking between Oz and Maeko and then at Cass with an expression that was both apologetic and misunderstanding. Then, finally, she remembered. 

Cass wasn’t just Cass—he was Cassius Halestorm, well-known half-vampire, and Piper Oliver was the world’s most forgetful moron. She hadn’t avoided him when they were at Hogwarts, not intentionally—but Cass had always kept inside while restless energetic Piper explored every inch of the grounds. And even though he didn’t seem like a hugely loud or riotous person, Cass had been by association part of Tami’s out-and-proud social justice crowd, which Piper had purposefully avoided to protect her own secret. 

Everyone was looking at her very expectantly, and Piper turned several shades of dark distressed pink. She needed to say something, she was being extremely rude and looked very stupid and she knew that, it’s just that she’d been so caught off guard. And even though she didn’t want to think about it, the memories of that dark room in the Bureau of Secrets at the French Ministry flooded into her consciousness invasively, the predatory way that vampire had looked at her, turning Piper’s stomach with shame and terror and an uncomfortable, foreign sort of desire that she hadn’t been able to fight, cold and magnetic and unnatural…

“Piper?” Maeko said with sharp concern, and Piper snapped out of it. She shook her head forcefully; Cass was not the same vampire that Piper had met and she couldn’t carry on being paralyzed by her own fear and ingrained prejudice. So instead Piper focused on what she could control—the things she could know for certain, without any doubt. She concentrated on picking up the various energies that drifted through the room, discerning the familiar qualities of Oz’s and Maeko’s and then tuning those out to zero in on the one she didn’t know as well—Cass. Except for the smallest of irregularities that made it feel just a hint sharper when Piper took it in, it felt—normal, really. He was scared, too, and ashamed. Deep shame and disappointment and regret. 

Piper felt immediately awful and deeply embarrassed of herself. “Cass—wait! Don’t go…” she said hurriedly, rushing toward him and handing off the spliff to Oz as she passed him. “Please, we—we’re not like that, okay? You’re safe here and we…I don’t want you to go. Please?” She gave Cass an earnest, pleading look before looking past him to shoot a pointed glare at Maeko. Maeko held Piper’s look for a moment before rolling her eyes upwards, as if to say, Whatever, it’s your funeral, and then released the majority of her offensive stance and demeanor, while Oz muttered jokingly, “Fine by me if ya wanna stay forever....”

#drabble #headcanon #p: cass #oz #maeko #christmas break #borgin and burkes #knockturn alley #prejudice cw #trauma cw #drug use cw #december 29 2019