#The thing with Jess is she starts off shitty. gets better. THEN has to deal with the godly avatar bullshit catching up to her

[romanarose]

Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside: Chapter 31

Steven Grant x OC X Marc Spector

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Fic Summary: Steven meets Sam and they strike up a quick relationship, both kindhearted and loving, they fall fast. But both have a lot going on. Steven had Marc and Moon Knight, and Sam has mental health problems of her own. Slowly, Steven starts to put together pieces of her story as Sam starts to get to know Marc and Jake.

Chapter summary: Sam and her boys continue to deal with the events of the last 2 months, Sam getting some news about her family. Will this make things worse, or will it be what she needs to snap out of it?

Warnings: Talk about a suicide attempt, pregnancy, Marc being a tad controlling, being kinda shitty, Sam being shitty about their DID and a big rude to Layla at first. Yelling. I think that's it? Still a lil angsty but it's getting better. LIL SMUT not much but enough! I didn't feel like writing a whole lot, but I felt it fit what they needed.

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Steven and Sam sat together on the couch, watching all Sam’s favorite Doctor Who episodes. They were exhausted. The previous several nights had been long, and even after they went inside that night, there wasn’t much sleep. The morning saw gentle conversations of why Sam was brought to that point. Sam didn’t have much of a reason, she was just exhausted and when she woke up in the middle of the night it just felt like a natural end, like it fit the narrative of her life. Sam was honest. When they asked her how she was the morning or how Sam’s day went, she told them. She was completely truthful, telling them she still wanted to die, she still wanted to hurt herself, but she was trying to hold on like Steven said. Mary’s first communion, her graduation… Jake quietly removed razors, belts and knives and hid them in the secret compartment that Marc had once hid his things from Steven.

Sam refused to skip classes and work the next day, as midterms were around the corner, but Sam allowed Steven to tell Jess what happened the night before. Two weeks passed, and she was effectively on suicide watch. The rule of her being walked to and from work and classes was reimplemented, much to the annoyance of Sam, who hated being treated like a child. Steven didn’t want to infantilize her, but it was clear she was in a fragile mental state. 

Marc didn’t sleep. He stayed up as long as he could hold himself, even cracking open Steven’s “welcome to staying awake” tapes once he was sure Sam was asleep. He didn’t want her to worry about him, but Marc was spiraling in constant anxiety. The only time he could even slightly relax was when Sam was right there in front of him. When he finally fell asleep, his arms were wrapped around her, almost gluing her to him, and if she stirred or went to the bathroom, he would wake up immediately with a ‘everything okay, Brightside?’ It drove Sam absolutely insane, it crouched in on her independence, but she felt like it hadn’t been earned back yet. Marc was starting to feel like a parent more than a partner. Maybe that’s the risk you run when you call your boyfriend daddy, she considered more than once.

They wouldn’t touch her. That’s what happens when the first time you have sex in two months, you try to kill yourself. Maybe this is what she deserved. She was fragile. She tried to jump off the fucking roof in front of them. Maybe she deserved to be babied.

Sam felt a buzz in her pocket: she was getting a phone call. That was odd, her mom usually waited for Sam to call her, and no one else would be calling on friday. When she sat up, pulling her phone out, she frowned.

“Who is it love?” Steven looked concerned.

“It’s Teresa…” Her sister never called her. They texted.

“Oh… is that bad?”

“I don’t know” Sam swiped to answer. “Hey T, what’s- Oh, hi Chris. Why are you? Uh. yeah. Okay, let me just step outside.”

Sam stood up, followed by Steven. “Everything okay?”

“I’m not sure, Teresa has me on a three way call with Chris, said she needs to talk to us. I’m stepping outside.” Left the couch, and noticed Steven trailing behind her. She held out her hand. “Stop, I need privacy Steven.” Sam went to put on her shoes.

“Sam, maybe-”

“Steven, stop! I’m not gonna kill myself!” She snapped, before turning to the phone. “No, nothing T. Just, ugh, hold on.” She muted the phone, and turned to Steven as she put on her coat and Jake’s scarf. For all her crocheting, she never made one for herself. “She wants me to talk to them alone, you can’t eavesdrop.”

Steven wrung his hands together in his nervous habit. Don’t let her go out alone, Steven. You can’t keep her locked up, Marc I’m not, you- Marc stopped himself before calling Jake an asshole. He promised Sam he’d try, and he was significantly less angry at Jake than he had been. “Love, do you think that’s a good idea? I won’t listen in, but maybe I can just-”

“No!” Sam snapped, then took a deep breath, calming herself. Her boys were only trying to protect her from herself. If she felt like a child or a prisoner, she did this to herself. “Sorry, I just, I need to do this, it’s a family thing, and I need space. Steven, I love you but I need space.” She tried to soften her expression. “You have my location, you can see if I wonder, okay Sunshine?” 

Steven, no. “Okay, darling, I hope everything is alright.” 

She smiled at him lovingly. “Thank you. I love you Steven with a V.”

“I love you, just Sam.”

Steven listened to Jake and Marc argue in his head. Despite their mutual irritation with each other, Steven couldn’t help but notice how much softer it was. Their words, in particular with, were far less vehement, less angry and far less hurtful. Steven couldn’t help but think how they sounded more like bickering brothers. Nonetheless, it was clear Marc had a very different idea on how to handle Sam. Marc’s process was hyper protective. If he had it his way, them and Sam would stay in the apartment all the time, just them, no outside world. Jake seemed to think a detached methode was better. He thought they should, after the first few days, go back to normal. Sam valued her independence, she wouldn’t want to be treated differently. Steven thought neither were fully correct. He could not go along with Jake; as long as she was still expressing a desire to die, him, Elena and Jessica were going to be keeping an eye on her. But he also wouldn't go along with Marc. Sam was her own person, she existed outside of them, and deserved to have her own life.

When she came back, Sam was pale. Well. More pale than usual. Steven scrambled off the couch to where she stood, closing the door behind her as she stared at the wall. Not hesitating for a second, he took her in his arms and she melted into his hold. “Sweetheart, what happened? Is everyone okay?” Teresa still lived with her parents, he wondered if something had happened with her dad, did he hurt the younger kids?

“She’s pregnant”

Oh.

Oh fuck. 

God dammit

“Shit, love, I’m so sorry… What… what’s she going to do?”

Sam pulled back and went to the kitchen. 

Try and distract her. She doesn’t need to drink every time she feels a negative emotion.

For once, Marc didn’t argue. Seeing her drunk on the roof top that night had begun to change his mind on whether she had a drinking problem or not.

Steven followed behind her, attempting to take the vodka out of her hand, but Sam’s grip was tight. “What are you doing?” She asked, pulling it away from him.

“Can we maybe… Can we talk about this without drinking?”

Sam scoffed, turning away to get the juice from the fridge. “Just give me Marc, since he’s the only one who doesn’t throw a fit about it.”

Okay, now that hurt. Steven grabbed her shoulder, making her turn to face him.”Hey now,” Sam was a bit taken aback by the hurt that sparkled in his big, brown eyes. Usually they hurt for her, but right now they hurt because of her. “You don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?” she challenged.

Steven shook his head. “You don’t to pick and choose who you’re talking to like that. You can’t just change us mid-conversation to suit what you want from us. And for the record, Marc isn’t happy about the drinking either, since we found you with a bottle of wine and a half drunk bottle of vodka, trying to throw yourself from the roof.”

Sam glared at him for a few moments, considering how to argue. But Steven’s face… She didn’t like hurting him, any of them, and they had been putting up with so much lately… they deserved better than her, no matter what they said. She softened her features, gaze averting to the floor. “I’m sorry. You’re right. That was shitty.”

“Yeah. It was.” But his tone was less harsh.

She sat the bottle down. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been.” Sam tapped each of her fingers to her thumb anxiously. “I’d like to say I’ll do better, but honestly, I don’t really know what better looks like.”

“It’s alright love. We’re getting through this, all of us, together. It’s going to be okay.”

Will it? Will it ever be like it was? Or was the honeymoon period over? Sam considered the last several months since Christmas. Steven, Marc and Jake had seen some of the worst and stuck by her with her family, with her first fight with Steven… multiple fights with Marc and Jake. They had been there for her through the assault, and even still through her suicide attempt. They couldn’t keep going like this. No one could. But she didn’t know how to change, how to get better again… “I hate that I’m like this. I’m sorry.”

Steven stepped towards her, cupping her face in both hands. “Sam, sweetheart, you’ve been through something horrible, many horrible things, actually… we just want to be here for you. Can you please tell us what’s going on with Teresa?”

Sam sighed, and Steven let go of her face. “She’s pregnant. She’s known for a while, that’s why she wouldn’t drink at Christmas. She’s 5 months.”

“Jesus, how did she possibly keep that a secret?”

Sam shrugged. “Dad think she’s the golden daughter, and mom is so blissfully unaware of everything…. She said she didn’t tell us sooner because she thought Chris and I would talk her into an abortion, which, like… I might have suggested it, considering Holden, but I’d never try to tell her what she had to do with her body!” Sam began pacing the kitchen area.

“What does Holden think about it?” Steven asked, well aware of Sam’s feeling on her sisters fiance.

Sam gave a dry laugh. “He broke off the engagement.”

“Oh fuck…”

“Yeah” She sighed out. “Chris is on his way, we’re going to Hertfordshire for the weekend to break it to mom and dad. Apparently Ben knows. He’s the one that convinced her to call me and Chris.”

Steven nodded vigorously. “Yeah, yeah of course, I’ll just use some sick days and-”

Sam held out a hand. “Steven no-”

Marc took the body. “You’re not going there alone, Sam”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to be alone, Chris is there to babysit, dad.”

“Oh yeah? Chris know you tried to kill yourself? He know you can’t be left alone without trying to jump off the roof?” Marc, stop, she’s not a child. 

“No,” she glared. “And you’re not telling him. He’s got enough to deal with between me and Teresa and the others.”

“Then we’re going with you.”

Sam threw up her hands. “No, Marc, this is a family thing.”

“We’re your family!” Marc all but shouted.

 

There was a paused.

Sam sighed, calming down. “I know. I know. I’m sorry. But this is a sibling thing. I love you, but I need to go, and things are… well it’s not going to go well. I don’t want you wrapped up in all this.”

Steven was back. “I don’t want you going through all that alone…” Steven pleaded.

“I know, sunshine. But I won’t be. And I’ll call you as much as I can.”

“Oka-” Steven started, but Marc took over mid-sentence. “No, absolutely not.”

Sam returned to a glare. Marc was beginning to get on her last nerve. “You don’t get to chose that Marc, I’m 25, I’m a fucking adult, not your housewife”

Hurt flickered across his face before it set in determination. “Is that what you think this is? Me wanting you to be our housewife? For that to happen you’d have to-” Don’t. Don’t finish that sentence or I swear to god

Sam busted out a short, clipped laugh. “I’d have to do things around the house? Is that what you were going to say? Have sex? Cook?”

“Sam, no-”

“ I’m sorry I don’t exactly have the energy to be a good wifey for you when you have me under suicide watch!” She stormed off towards the couch, needing to get away from him.

“I have you under suicide watch because you tried to kill yourself, Sam! Jesus! You told me last night you still want to die. I could have you put in a psych ward on a 72 hour hold for that!”

Sam picked u a pillow, having the forethought to throw it on the floor in the opposite direction of Marc, not wanting to see him wince. “Then do it! Fucking do it Marc! Then you’ll be fucking free of me!”

Marc’s face crumbled before her. “Is that what you think I want?”

Marc was getting a phone call. When he pulled his phone out of his pocket, Sam saw the beautiful face and big dark curls pop up on the screen. Layla was calling. Layla had called since the attack, Sam telling Marc he could tell her what happened. Layla was the only one Marc could talk to about her and her problems who wasn’t directly involved, like Steven and Jake were. She told him long ago he didn’t have to keep anything from her. Marc deserved a friend to talk to that he trusted. Did it have to be his ex-wife, though?

“Layla, hey, I’m gonna have to call you back.”

“No Marc, talk to her, I’m going for a smoke.”

“No, you’re not-”

Sam grabbed the phone out of his hand and put it to her ear, putting on her best overly-cheerful tone. “Layla! Hi! So nice to finally talk to you”

Layla could clearly tell she interrupted something. ‘Oh, hi Sam. I can call back.’

“No no, you’re alright, I need you to distract Marc because he thinks I can’t be alone for 5 minuets or else I’ll kill myself, you called at a great time!”

‘Oh. Okay. Everything alright?’

Sam laughed. “No, actually, it’s nowhere near alright, but such is life! Hey, you know what, we’d love to have you come visit sometime!”

‘Uh, yeah, that’d be great, I’d love to meet-’

“Great! Unfortunately, this weekend won’t do, since my dumbass sister went and got herself knocked up, how about next weekend?”

‘I can come later, we don’t have to-’

Marc tried to steal his phone back, but Sam kept talking. “Layla, listen, women to women, Marc is driving me up the goddamn wall and I need someone else here before Marc wall’s me up in this fucking apartment!’ Sam spoke erratically, trying not to sound harsh as Marc’s face was somewhere between a glare and a pout.

‘Yeah.’ Layla sounded concerned, but soft. ‘Yeah I’ll come’

“Super cool, I’ll try not to go insane in the meantime.” She shoved the phone into Marc’s hand.

“Hi Layla…” He started, still watching Sam intently.

Sam grabbed her cigarettes and jacket and began to step outside. She stopped at the doorway, pausing. With a sigh, she walked back with her head hung to where Marc was standing with the phone. She didn’t look at him, but held out a hand.for the phone again, which Marc hesitantly handed over. “Hi… it’s me again. Hopefully sounding less crazy.”

A small chuckle from the other end. ‘Hi sam’

“Sorry. It’s been a rough…” day? Week? Few months?

‘Yeah, yeah I know’

“I’m sorry for all that. But I would really love to have you here. I’ve wanted to meet you for a while.”

‘I want to meet you too, I’ll come out next weekend.’

“Okay.” Sam sighed. “Sounds good.” She handed the phone back to Marc, still not looking at him, and walked outside.

When the door close, Marc put the phone to his ear. “Sorry about that.”

‘You can’t keep her locked up. You know that right?’

“I know… I just… I need… she’s just…”

‘Marc, honey… When will you learn you can’t protect us from everything at the cost of our own choices?’

Marc closed his eyes. She always knew what to say. “I know.”

‘...I’m excited to see you’

Marc smiled. “I’m excited to see you too.”

When Sam returned, she could tell it was Steven.

“Steven, I’m really sorry…” She looked drained, walking past him to flop on the couch and pull a blanket over herself.

Steven joined her. “I know. I’m sorry Marc said all that. He’s going to take a bit of time, just to allow you some space, but he’s here if you need him.”

Sam nodded, looking at her feet. “Steven, listen… Maybe… maybe this isn’t-”

“Don’t.” Steven’s eyes widened in fear of where that sentence was going. “Don’t do this” he shook his head. “If this is about what Marc said-”

“No, sunshine, it’s not, he’s right-”

“No, he isn’t-”

“You deserve better” She blurted out, echoing her words from that night on the roof.

Steven felt his heart tense up. How could he make her see? How could he make her understand? She was it. She was everything. He shook his head, moving to where she was at the couch and taking her hand. “You said that that night, Marc said there was no better than you, and he’s right. You, darling, are the light of our lives.”

She closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. “No, no Steven I’m a disaster, I’m just going to drag you down with me, I don’t” Her voice broke. “I don’t want that. I don’t want to dull your shine. I will break you both apart.”

Steven dove into her, holding her body firm towards him. “No, love, you won’t. We love you, you mean the world to us, please, just… don’t give up yet. On us, on yourself. Me, Marc, Jake, Chris, Jess, Elena, we’re all here for you, we all love you. Just please, don’t give up”

“I won’t, baby. I love you, I love you, I love you…” Sam finally looked at him, his face close to hers, closing the gap between their mouths. She kissed like she was starved for him, like only he could fill that void. Back rested against the arm of the couch and legs on either side of him, she ground her hips up into his, needy for him.

“Darling…” Steven muttered lowly, unsure if this was a good idea.

“We can stop…” She assured him. “I just miss you. Feel like I can never get enough.”

Steven dipped down to kiss her neck, careful not to leave hickies for her visit with family. “Don’t wanna stop.“ he assured, muttering fuck under his breath when he felt her cup him over his pants. When she felt he was hard, she unbuttoned his jeans as his hands explored her, familiarizing himself with every dip and curve. “Fuck, how do you always feel so good”

Wiggling her pants down, Steven moved down her body, licking a stripe up her core as her leg draped over the edge of the couch. Sam gripped his beautiful curls, guiding his face wherever she needed him, arching off the couch as two fingers entered him. “Just like that baby, fuck, just like that pretty boy.”

Steven ate her out like his life depending on it, managing to draw two orgasms out of her, and going for a third when Sam pulled him up, kissing his soaked face. “Steven, need you in me sunshine, need to feel you come inside, fill me up.”

Shit, she was going to be the death of him. He barely had enough time to pull his pants down far enough to free his aching cock, plunging it into her as the moaned in unison.

She kissed him: Forehead, nose, mouth. “Fuck baby, I missed you, I missed this”

Steven thought of the last time they had sex, two weeks ago, how she tried to kill herself hour later. He wouldn’t let that happen again. Not because he would physically stop her, no, she could go see her family alone. He would be there for her, whatever she needed, whenever she needed. “You always feel so good, taking me so well, Sweetheart, my perfect girl”

Sam tried to focus on the drag of his thick cock through her walls, and the taste of his salty skin on her mouth. “You think I’m perfect?”

“Undoubtedly”

When they came, they came together, bodies so perfectly in synch, Steven could imagine a closer connection with someone

The weekend was hard and long. Steven carried Sam’s bags down for her, and said hello to Chris, giving him a look he hoped communicated ‘Watch out for her’.

She was supposed to be back Sunday, but just as he was expecting the phone call she promised him on Saturday night, she came through the door, barreling to him where he was waiting with a strong embrace.

“Didn’t go well, I take it?” Steven asked the obvious.

She shook her head in his chest. “Things were said.”

“Need me to hurt anyone?” Jake.

Sam laughed in his arms. “No, Jake, but thanks.”

“Are you okay?” Marc.

“Hi baby. I’m okay.”

“How is Teresa?”

“She’s moving in with Chris.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Brightside?” Marc asked.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“It’s not”

“It is. We’re all gonna be okay. Teresa, me, us. I think everything’s going to be okay, Starlight.”

“Yeah, I think so too.”

Sam stood there for a while, warm and safe in Marc’s strong embrace.

Yeah, everything was going to be okay.

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Comments mean the world, and reblogs are essential for sharing my work! Love y'all @ahookedheroespureheart @kr-mlk @mt2sssss @cherryvalentine1 @tippycakes26 @missdictatorme @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @nicepeony @sgt-morgan

Shout out to @cherryvalentine1 for correctly guessing back in the Christmas chapters that yes! Teresa is PREGGO!

I swear to go I’m working on the last two chapters but in the mean time come read Seattle

#steven grant #marc spector #moon knight #steven grant smut #marc spector angst #steven grant angst #jake lockley #marc spector hurt comfort #marc spector oc

[nanlanmoarchived]

EDJE SHIP THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is the most affectionate? I think Jess is more overtly affectionate, particularly out in public (she swears it's not a jealousy thing buuuut) but Eddie is just as affectionate in more subtle ways (sometimes, unless he's in his rockstar feels and then all bets are off). But Jessica's definitely the one to walk up behind him and rest her chin on his shoulder, definitely lots of kissing and snuggling. I really do feel like it's pretty evenly split, though.

Who initiates the handholding? Eddie! Especially when walking through crowds. It gets to the point that it's nearly automatic to the point that whenever they're out together she doesn't even realize he's reached out to her, her hand's just already in his.

Who worries more for the other? Jess worries about Eddie a lot. Not only for the physical things like going to Rick's or going out to deal, but the emotional stuff too. She doesn't want to push him to open up about things, whether it's the shit with the upside down or things with his past, she worries about him pretty consistently.

Who is more likely to ask for help? Jess, but not by much. They're both so fucking stubborn but Jess is more likely to break down and ask for help moreso than Eddie.

Who is the one always losing the keys? Eddie, but it's not entirely his fault. Between his chaos and then the added chaos of Jessica's stuff when she starts low-key moving in, it's easy to lose his keys amongst all the stuff.

Who leaves little love notes for the other? I feel like this is an Eddie thing. Especially when she goes back to school. She'll find little love notes in her lunch bag or in her backpack.

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there? They both sleep better together, especially after the upside down. It's not impossible for either of them to sleep without one another so long as they at least talk before bed, but they definitely get a better night's sleep sharing the bed.

Who is more likely to propose to the other? Eddie, for as non-traditional of a couple as they are, this is one of their big traditional things.

Who introduced the other to their family first? Ahahahahaha, their family introduced them like the silly gooses they were thinking that the two of them wouldn't get into shenanigans.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair? They definitely both play with each other's hair, but I think Jess is more likely to initiate between the two of them.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Eddie. Jess absolutely forgets to eat sometimes but with Eddie's metabolism the way it is, he inadvertently keeps her on at least a little of a schedule.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? Oh they're both ready to stand up for one another on a moment's notice. I think Jess is the more hotheaded of the two of them, though, surprisingly. Because Eddie's learned to just ignore the stupid shit people say about him, he just kind of rolls with it, but he's had to start catching Jess around the waist and pulling her away from situations because someone says something shitty about him? They're gonna hear about it.

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? I feel like Eddie is more of the planner, Jess is the more, "I found this thing that reminded me of you" type. . . But I feel like they could go the other way around, too. It just depends on the occasion I think.

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Pinky promises are a solemn oath between the two of them and if they have pinky promised, it is something they cannot go back on.

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? A random third party because they've fallen asleep all cozied up together on the couch. They have a reputation of falling asleep tangled up together at parties and while they act like they don't like the teasing they get because of it, they secretly do. //@edhellfire

#edhellfire #otp; i can tell that we are gonna be friends { eddie } #i love them your honor

[neontaxidermy]

Bloody god-jess doodles

#blood cw #eye strain #fate&rebellion #My girl! Old though #The thing with Jess is she starts off shitty. gets better. THEN has to deal with the godly avatar bullshit catching up to her #so she ends up. like. this #jessica dove #Shes a wrath god literally BUT her bigger actual roles are as psuedo-war god and mother of monsters type #The second one she technically shares with Tarrid since the GENERAL concencus is that monsters are literally their kids #despite not usually having much to do with them personally. usually they’re actually a product of tye same diety but #not them as avatars of that diety

[icefire149]

Certain parts of season 14 and 15 just rub me the wrong way. Everything about the shift when Mary dies again to set up conflict between Dean and Cas just doesn’t hit right. So here’s a new way I’d do it:

Jack still accidentally murders Mary, but after zipping around the Earth in a panic, he goes to Castiel. He has no fear that he’ll lose Cas over this. It’s Sam and Dean that he’s worried about. Especially Dean since he was horrible when he was born. Dean only more recently seemed like he really cared about him. He can’t mess this up. Jack brings Cas back to the house and explains what happened. 

We know Cas is a strategist and his mind would be in overdrive, because of course the Winchesters weren’t going to be okay with any of this. Hell, he’s barely keeping it together. Mary was his friend. But, Jack is his child and responsibility. And he loves him too much to let him suffer. So he devises a plan: Nick was trying to summon Lucifer from the Empty. He was succeeding. Jack and Mary were trying to stop him and Lucifer obliterated Mary. Jack wasn’t quick enough but he was able to send Lucifer back into the Empty and in a rage killed Nick. Now Jack is panicking because it’s still his fault, but not his fault. It’s Nick and Lucifer’s. And Jack while being mostly soulless is still a bit hesitant to weave such a lie to their family, but he agrees. Cas reassures him that the Winchesters will be devastated, but they’ll understand better this way. As a family, all of them will be able to grieve and move on eventually. Because: Nick shouldn’t have done what he did. It was high tension and everyone was upset, and it was inevitable an accident happened. It was just a terrible accident. 

Distraught, Jack asks if there’s anything they can do to fix things? If they can bring Mary back? If they had a body....maybe. This leads Jack to want to see Rowena to see if she could just bring Mary back. They decide to try, but stick to the story. Cas gets zapped back to his truck and Jack goes to Rowena. So we have the similar situation where Jack in a panic tries to force Rowena to fix things and she tries, but also still tips off the Winchesters. Still the magic doesn’t work and Jack is scared. Sam and Dean get to the house and are a mess trying to make heads or tails of the mess. Automatically the blame is on Jack. They’ve been worried about his soul. He must have gone completely dark side. And we’ll note that Dean is the one crawling out of his skin pacing and ranting. Sam is more withdrawn. Jack flies into Cas’ truck when he’s almost there. Cas goes into the house first. He tells Jack to wait in the truck. Cas bars the doorway with his body while he tries to explain the ‘tale’ Jack told him in the car and how devastated he is over Mary and terrified of what they, Sam & Dean, will do next. 

Dean believes Cas. It’s Cas. His anger rolls into grief & tears. His mom died. How did he get here where he has to bury her again. Cas comforts Dean with soft touch and words. He’s sorry. He’s so sorry. Cas gives into his own grief a bit. It’s Sam that continues to stand there in quiet rage. It’s like his whole lifetime of trauma is torn open again. And now there’s this new angry wound that’s only festered since Amara brought Mary back. Yes, he should be grateful that he’s gotten to know her at all, but.....it was never right. She never stayed long enough to really know him. Emotionally her bond with Dean was always stronger. He was always just a fly on the wall. She was his mom too. And now...even Cas is crying more than him. When the hell was she ever anything to him? Sam’s anger spirals, but he’s trying to keep it down. He keeps going over the house there. Something about everything isn’t sitting right with him. There’s something off. He knows it. 

So with the funeral and going home to the bunker, things feel flipped. Jack and Cas were most worried about Dean, but it’s Sam they should be worried about. Dean is angry and upset, but he’s not blaming Jack. He’s actually trying to be there for Jack. This development has Cas over the moon, because this is all he ever wanted. For them to be a family. While Dean fell into the cycle of his father’s anger when Cas died s12/13....this time he’s being what he/John should have been. And Sam is the one sinking into John’s cycle of anger. Sam’s the one drinking a bit more. He’s quiet, but there’s an anger that’s clearly there. He’s distancing himself from Jack and Cas. Eventually he blows up and admits that he blames Jack and his soullessness. For all they know he hurt her / let her get hurt purposely. Which gets Cas angry and Sam flat out admits that he doesn’t trust Cas’ word. Something feels off to him, and this isn’t the first time Cas has tried to go behind their backs. He has quite the history of it. 

This causes Sam, Dean, and Cas to go at it yelling. Jack overhears some and blames himself for ruining everything again. He’s been nothing but trouble for their family. Maybe it would be better if he just left. So he does. This ties us back to Jack being manipulated by Heaven. Dean and Cas are out trying to find him. All ties back in to Jack goes home and finds Sam alone in the bunker. And it’s easy to fall back into the trust Jack has always had with Sam. He’s always had Jack’s back. And he manipulates Jack, telling him that they’ve worked out a spell to bring Mary back. They altered the malak box spell work to harness and focus Jack’s powers. It should be enough. Dean and Cas will be back any minute with Rowena. Jack eagerly believes him and does as he’s told. Jack gets in the box and he stares up at Sam nervous. Sam tells him that there’s nothing to worry about anymore. Cas told them everything. They can fix things now. And Jack looks at him confused, everything? Sam presses that yes, Cas explained how it was an accident. Jack breathes a sigh of relief and then crumbles into tears, how he didn’t mean to. He asked her to stop, but she wouldn’t give him a moment to breathe and then..it was an accident. He didn’t mean to hurt her. And cold as ice Sam goes, I know, and closes the lid. Locking the box. 

It’s a while before Dean and Cas make it back. Jack has enough time to completely unravel in his grief, and anger, and realization that Sam lied and tricked him. Everyone keeps manipulating him and lying. Dean and Cas get back and start arguing with Sam. Just like in the show, Jack breaks out and leaves. Sam still goes into it explaining the truth he got from Jack. Cas LIED. He covered up Mary’s death. He’s known the truth all along. Dean refuses to believe Sam. He’s mistaken. 

Things roll into Moriah and Jack makes it so no one can lie. And because of that the truth finally comes out of Cas’ mouth. And Dean breaks. He tells Cas that he’s dead to him. Cas leaves to look for Jack on his own. Dean’s fury goes in on Jack. He never should have gotten attached. Jack was always a monster. All of this rolls into Chuck’s return and manipulation. He pushes Dean to kill Jack. And the puzzle pieces click into place for Sam. He realizes how much this is all a game to Chuck. Chuck pulled the strings to make every bad thing that’s happened in his life happen just for his own entertainment: Mom, their childhood, dad’s shitty parenting, Jess, demon deals, demon blood, Dean going to Hell, Ruby, the apocalypse, visions, unanswered prayers, EVERYTHING..... Chuck’s newest episode of entertainment was causing Jack to accidentally kill Mary and have to live with the consequences of losing his only family over it. Sam’s anger goes directly into Chuck. 

He needs to get to Dean. Meanwhile Dean finds Cas and Jack in the cemetery. Cas gets between them and tries to talk Dean down. Dean is shaking with fury. He’s never been this mad before. He hated Jack for being born and getting Cas killed, and then he grew to love the kid as family, and he hates him for making him feel this much. He killed his mom, and lied about it. Cas tries to explain that he was trying to protect all of them. He was trying to maintain their family. Dean coldly goes, there’s no family here to maintain. I’m a hunter. Saving people and hunting monsters is the family business, and....I see two monsters in front of me. And he holds the equalizer up, shakily. Jack sends Cas flying so he can approach Dean. He understands what Dean has to do. He accepts it and he’s sorry. Jack gets on his knees and waits. Dean can’t quite do it. He’s trying.

Sam and Chuck get there. Sam starts yelling how Chuck set this whole thing up. Chuck is trying to make Dean do this...for his own entertainment. And everything rolls back into what the actual show did. Dean can’t kill Jack and Sam shoots Chuck. Everything continues to roll similarly as s15 did, but the divorce arc is leaning heavily on Dean is angry about Cas betraying him. 

#spn #save #i hope this makes sense because i haven't reread it yet. i'm just seeing these ideas tie together in a painful vision

[seyaryminamoto]

my school works are piled up this past few weeks (graduating tingz) and i just started reading the deadlock novel it feels like i'm reading a sokkla fic every time Mcashe has a scene because they just give off the vibes skskskskksksks. BTW, what's your top5 fav scenes from the novel? PS: I'm smiling like an idiot while reading the novel ughh i hate myself

I KNOW, RIIIIIGHT?! *-* and don't hate yourself, my anon friend, I spent the whole novel smiling and laughing and losing my goddamn mind because I was having the time of my life xD enjoy this beautiful content as best you can!

I mean, frankly, Reunion already had all the Sokkla vibes I could've wanted/needed to ship these two like FedEx and I always knew I wasn't getting off this ride anytime soon. But gosh, this book... it gave me everything I wanted and MORE! Their dynamics are soooo similar to Sokkla team-up dynamics, two power couples kicking ass and taking names... oh, I just love it so much. I probably will end up reading the book a third time soon x'D

As for my favorite scenes, damn, this is tricky xD

KEYCHAIN! HE MADE HER KEYCHAIN!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! God, it's just amazing how the book explains the "vintage" look for Ashe's hoverbike the way it does, and that they literally built it together *screams!!!*, but then he gives her that keychain for her birthday present, and the implications!! THE IMPLICATIONS!!! He gave her a keychain she's held onto for TWENTY YEARS?!?!?! Ships in the OW fandom have sailed far and wide with less than breadcrumbs: we literally have been granted a boon from the GODS with all this extra context for the little things in Reunion xD

Ashe going to hell and back to save her kidnapped BFF-for-whom-she-totally-doesn't-have-feelings-yeah-yeah-sure-Jan. I love the fact that McCree is, in a way, Ashe's damsel in distress and not the other way around xD Of course, it's what you'd expect from an Ashe-centric story, but it's still an amazing sequence, all around. Gotta highlight how she loves the way he smiles like a madman when they have that shootout at the end, and how he worries so much over Ashe's injury when he took an even worse one than she did (the Sokkla vibes in that particular situation were SO STRONG! I SWEAR!).

"Jesse McCree, are you trying to make me say you're handsome?" "Am I?" ... do I need to say more. That FLIRTING. These two were on fire already and they'd only known each other for like... weeks, at this point? x'D He has no sense of moderation, he's soooo into her and doesn't hide it at all. Ashe is so busy trying to plot all the crime and Jesse's practically like a shojo heroine, "oh I can feel it, this is how my love story begins!", basically xD

Finally I pick a not-McAshe scene... to bring up the one where Ashe picks up the Viper on her last moment in Lead Rose Manor. That moment was just... POWERFUL. The feeling of epicness in that scene just overwhelmed me when I was reading it xD

The ending of the book :'D the fully formed Deadlock Gang ready for business, down to the explanation for the Est. 1976 in the logo... *sobs* the fact that so much about the character design choices in these two characters is a shoutout to the past they share is just... *gross sobbing* oh, I just love it to pieces, I'm not even sorry.

Ashe's bike race to save B.O.B. x'D that whole situation was bonkers but I looooved how fierce she was about protecting her one and only buddy while growing up (AND THAT JESSE BLUSHED WHEN SHE TAUNTED HIM WAS JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP!). I appreciated learning more about the Omnic War and its consequences, how Ashe reflects on having escaped it practically untouched in virtue of her money and societal privilege while her new friends all faced many hardships to survive. But I can't help but also love that, however uneasy others could have been about the Best Omnic Butler, Ashe was so fiercely loyal to B.O.B. that she nearly broke Julian's nose herself over his ridiculousness x'D That's HER big omnic buddy and she's not about to lose him to anyone, not her shitty parents, not a bet in a race, NOTHING! (and it's so cute that B.O.B. is just as loyal to her, too *sobs*)

Ashe grabbing McCree's arm to explain things to him on their first heist and him being all "you gonna leave that there?" and only then does she realize her hand's still on him x'D what a McCree line, and he was absolutely enjoying the attention, he doesn't even pretend otherwise.

Everything poetic McCree says or does... meanwhile Ashe's like "um yeah I don't care about poetry I want money", right until his poet soul totally smashes her square in the heart with the KEYCHAIN!!! But damn, I swear I thought McCree would hold back a lot more, and yet there he was, saying things like Calamity was brilliant and mysterious... you could practically hear B.O.B., Julian and Frankie going "I can see what's happening..." in the background xD

The conversation about what they wanted to do once they were loaded with all the cash they could possibly want. That one was a real number on my heartstrings. It ties up to what I said earlier with Ashe finally being in touch with people who are completely removed from the ridiculous social circles of her parents and her school, people who really lost a lot in the war. But where Julian and Frankie seem to look at the past a lot, I loved that Jesse is basically just thinking about the future. The fact that he says he wants to chill out in a farm and that this is what he wants in life... many, MANY, shippy wheels have turned in my head since I read that <.< maaaany...

WHEN JESSE NEARLY FALLS AND ASHE CATCHES HIM!!! UNDERRRATED AS HECK!!! The fact that he's taunting her about fear of heights, then he nearly plummets to his death because ironies are beautiful xD and Ashe pulls him back to safety only to say that she's not afraid of heights but afraid of ~FALLING~??? I mean, okay, sure, maybe I'm reading too much into that line... or maybe I'm not <.< either way, the truth is I just love how absolutely broad of interpretation that scene and that DIALOGUE are :> ehehehe.

Oh, their first encounter. The fact that it's so cute and fun, and that it's this low in the list tells you how GOOD this book was x'D "You've got an awful lot of grit for a rich girl," first words he spoke to the love of his life xD then how they talked and laughed together about the crazy stories he shared (she was crying of laughter for the first time in her life! precious girl!), and then how she sat in the car thinking about the strange feeling she was left with after meeting him... they seriously had a meetcute in prison, how can a ship get any better? xD

WHEN HE COMES BACK TO HER WHEN THEIR FIRST HEIST GOES WRONG!!! That Ashe expects him to just leave after she falls off their getaway vehicle, but Jesse saves her and goes "pfft that's just not my style", basically... *sobs* without realizing it she ends up picking up that particular philosophy of his, saving her friends no matter the cost...! Honestly, though, the fact that every time something like this happens it hits Ashe like a truck racing downhill with no brakes because she's NEVER been cared about by anyone but B.O.B. and she's completely new to friendships and bonding with people... and in the mean time, Jesse immediately is "ride or die" with her because that's how he rolls... beautiful relationship dynamics between characters who influence each other for the better are just beautiful :')

A silly one here: Jesse enjoying the good life in Lead Rose. That description of him looking like a marshmallow in the CHAISE LOUNGEEEEE!!! (the one he references in their in-game interactions *CRYING SO MANY TEARS*), was just too cute to bear x'D Ashe just jumping back into work mode... while he was just thrilled to be a marshmallow in a towel xD

... So, um, I went overboard because I love this book a little too much for my own good :> what can I say? When things I love are good, I go wild xD There's probably more scenes I loved, but these... thirteen? XD are the ones that came to mind.

I think one of my favorite things now is reexamining Reunion with all this extra context in mind. The first time I watched that cinematic I, of course, fell in love with these two outlaws because how could I not? But while subsequent rewatches revealed a lot of things I didn't pay enough attention to the first time around, the book has done even more than I could imagine possible for a short that was already as shippy as could be xD

Ooookay so, shippy ramblings about Reunion, coming up! (simply because I have to put these down SOMEWHERE XD and your ask was a good idea for that, anon!)

First off, Jesse very much staged the whole rodeo in Reunion. He sent the tip to Ashe, he wanted Echo's crate specifically. He thought they could work together, basically, despite knowing it was entirely possible that those hopes wouldn't pay off. This train, according to the wikia, was a government train, so Jesse is very much telling Ashe to give a finger to the government for all he cares, all he wants is one (1) crate.

Ergo, Jesse, for all his "nice guy bountyhunter" deal, doesn't disapprove of Deadlock's actions. If anything, he counts on them to be exactly what he needs in order to get what he wants. He practically trusts Ashe to pull off the train heist disaster perfectly and only steps up when it's time to collect Echo.

Then the wacky shoot-out happens, it's veeeery charged (the UST is so thick, I swear...), and Jesse wins. He ties up Ashe, floats her off on the payload with the rest of the gang, and he sets Echo free. He's helping her out very nicely and everything, but the context in question is... he received the recall notification thingy XD Winston called him back to Overwatch, and Jesse...

... Jesse doesn't want to go back.

Jesse says "they want me", and the displeased tone of his voice, paired with the look on his face when he says that line, speak for themselves.

That, in my humble opinion, isn't the sequence of expressions you'd expect from someone who intends to return to the group where he thrived, had the time of his life and found his true calling. To me, he actually looks irritated about the recall (the sequence of expressions during that line is much better when you watch the full thing x'D), as though he REALLY doesn't want to return. He's not against Overwatch, I'm not quite saying that, otherwise he wouldn't have set Echo free and told her to go back at all... but this isn't remorse. It's not "Oh, I'm not good enough for Overwatch anymore". Nope... this is "My time with them is over and I don't plan on going back unless I have no choice", as far as I can tell.

If OW2 does bring him back into the fold and he's a perfectly chill and happy guy about it, I'll seriously be surprised. I mean, he could have set Echo free and, once his business is over, returned to Overwatch with her, he could have been in the Paris cinematic if he'd done that...

But he's not there.

Which outright says he didn't do that :> oops.

Basically, I think Jesse's reaction in Retribution (where he's markedly the most morally correct one of the bunch, and he's the former outlaw :'D) tells you his displeasure with Overwatch ran very, very deep. And someone can very easily say he felt the same way about Deadlock and that's why he left them for Overwatch... but that's conjecture. His displeasure with Blackwatch (and, in consequence, Overwatch), however, is FACT. And the previous conjecture falls flat pretty quickly considering he's perfectly fine with Ashe's train heist, even sets it up himself, from what the story suggests, so... how ~appalled~ was he over her choices and actions? Not appalled at all, if you ask me, and after you read Deadlock Rebels, you actually understand why: Jesse trusts Ashe.

From the first moment she enters the same prison block he's in, he's drawn to her. He wants to impress her, he absolutely enjoys her company and making her laugh (just as much as she enjoyed laughing at his wacky stories), and he's plain thrilled that she comes back for him when she does. Ashe manages the gang with inexperience but she's always willing to improve, and you see Jesse sticking with her through thick and thin, supporting her at the best and worst times alike, always putting his faith on her and constantly watching out for her (he protected and shielded her from attacks with his own body sooooo many times *sobs*). Ashe starts out intending to keep most profits for herself, and Jesse doesn't care much at first... but then she starts to share profit equally between their team. She works on her own bike herself, her own ride, and she plans and solves problems as best she can, to a point of even going overboard with planning too much. She's wild, reckless and takes insane risks... and this guy loves every second of it. The matter of morality regarding the actions of a criminal gang is, of course, something to think about... but as far as the book goes, Ashe mainly targets her own family, their specific brand of bullshit, and in the process she ends up helping lots of people and even saving lives that might not have been saved otherwise. I'm not going to put my hand on the fire here and say Deadlock never ever did anything absolutely wrong to people who didn't deserve it... but for a criminal gang? They're honestly the most wholesome one the OW team could have come up with, if you ask me.

So where you see Jesse is very much antagonistic with Reaper/Reyes, where he loses his temper with the guy's choices, he doesn't ever do that with Ashe. Overwatch ARE supposed to be the good guys... so how weird that Jesse McCree, reformed outlaw, ends up so disappointed with these guys when he was actually thrilled with Ashe's managing of their gang, as far as we saw. So much so that, when it came down to it, Jesse McCree, 20 years later, still counts on Ashe to give him a hand (without her full awareness) with a little operation to help out an old friend of his. Also worth pointing out: he doesn't want to fight at all, while Ashe, of course, does. Deadlock for life, is what Jesse said... and he's not Deadlock anymore, hasn't been for who knows how long. Worse yet... his tattooed arm is gone. It's like all his ties to Deadlock have been severed.

And even so, he came to Ashe and hoped she wouldn't want a shootout with him. Even when he knows she might be beyond unforgiving because of the betrayal (he has seen directly how outraged she was about a certain someone betraying her in the book...), Jesse goes back anyway and hopes it won't come to this.

THE IMPLICATIONS, MAN!!!

Carrying on: Echo is surprised that Jesse shows no intentions of going back to Overwatch. She asks him what he's going to do... and what does Jesse say?

He puts his cowboy hat back on (the symbolism in this short, I swear...), and when she asks him what he's going to do, he tells her "I've got some business to attend to."

THE MUSIC PICKS UP.

AND THEN HE CLIMBS ON THE BIKE HE BUILT WITH ASHE.

YOU GET A DELIBERATE CLOSE-UP TO THE KEYCHAIN.

THEN THE CAMERA PANS UP TO FOCUS ON THE PICTURE, TORN AND TAPED BACK TOGETHER, THAT ASHE CARRIES ON THIS BIKE, A BIKE WHICH, LET'S BE REAL, IS BASICALLY A MCASHE BABY CHOPPER/HOVERBIKE HYBRID, AND AS SHE PUTS IT LATER, IS...

HER

BIKE!!!

When Jesse says he has business to attend to, he could pick up any bike he wants (since it'd stand to reason that the other guys Ashe came in with would have bikes of their own). He could escape on horseback for all we know xD so there are lots of options... but no. He takes HERS. Right after saying he has "business to attend to".

Look, I could be wrong. I could be dead wrong. I can absolutely be digging around and going INSANE because nothing I ship EVER gets this much content.

But we literally get a guy saying he has "business" to take care of, and the cinematic focuses exclusively on elements that, even BEFORE Deadlock Rebels, all point towards Ashe?! You could easily say that taking her bike is just the final nail on the coffin, his last trolling idea to mess with his one true love... but that picture is right there. That picture, with them in their youth. The picture, btw, was bigger than just them: B.O.B.'s hand is there. The top of the picture is uneven, suggesting Ashe probably tore it to shreds in a fit of rage... and then specifically put together THEIR PART. And then she taped that to her bike's dashboard. Meaning, she carries the goddamn memory of Jesse with her EVERYWHERE SHE GOES. And she does it WILLINGLY.

Which, in turn, answers why Jesse expects MAYBE Ashe wouldn't go full-on hostile when they meet: this trolling cowboy knows exactly what he means to Ashe. He's not surprised when he sees that picture on the bike. He doesn't toss it away, which he could have, if he were saying "we are history now, forget it gurl" (and let's be honest, what a dick move that would have been @_@), he doesn't flinch after noticing and then goes "yeah, no, I'm picking another bike".

NOPE. The familiarity with which they talk, the way he hopes she'll just let him walk away, the fact that she DIDN'T change the keychain and bike in all those years and he's not even SURPRISED...

Jesse knows how much she loves him, point-blank. He's completely aware of it... and he's very much okay with it.

So much so... that I'm something of a 90% sure that the business he intends to deal with is ASHE HERSELF.

And no, I don't mean he's going to go on another shootout with her... I mean, evidently, that Jesse wants to come home. That he's tried the life of Overwatch, and he's decided to leave it behind. He's turned bountyhunter now, vigilante, pretty much... but he comes back to Ashe all the same. He's come back for the first time in who knows how long (going by Ashe's expressions and sarcasm with the "you promised you'd write" line, it miiiiiiight be they haven't seen each other since he got recruited into Blackwatch), and he expected a peaceful encounter, no less.

A good question to ask here is... what did Jesse hope would happen, if the encounter HAD been peaceful? He would've released Echo, sent her away to her business, and stayed behind anyway because he had business to deal with. Which business? :'D why... the business that would've been standing right in front of him.

There's no other, logical reason why this cinematic would put Ashe and McCree's picture into focus right when McCree says what he does to Echo. There's no other reasonable choice why McCree would turn his back on Overwatch quite so firmly. We know he had two important ties in his life: Overwatch and Deadlock. And Overwatch stole him away from Deadlock for a VERY long time. Well over half the time Deadlock has been in operations, as far as I can tell. He picked Overwatch over Deadlock once before... and now, it seems he's picking Deadlock over Overwatch instead :')

The follow-up short, Roadtrip, doesn't do anything to change my mind. The trolling jerk, Jesse McCree, hovers past Ashe's payload, where she's just... complaining, as she hovers xD going by what I know of the game and that map, the payload may just be en route to the gang's hideout, so that, I'd say, could explain why she hasn't climbed off it or escaped in any way (which she reasonably would have, if Jesse was trying to, I don't know, send her and her people to the authorities).

My point here is, however, that Jesse is headed the same way the payload is. If his destination is the same one, he'll beat it there for sure. Maybe, yes, he'll go away and drive well past the hideout... but maybe that's exactly where he intended to go.

Maybe, in the end, Reunion is about a man who's finally coming home :D

In addition, goes without saying, Ashe's rant about how everyone falls to pieces over Jesse showing his "stupid mug" (uh-huh, stupid, ANGELIC mug, we know what you really think, girl xD) ends with her saying she should have "put a bullet in him the minute he showed up".

Which begs the question of why didn't she.

Then, of course, she says she hates McCree when he drives past her while listening to some really ridiculous honky-tonky-sounding music x'D I cannot even help but imagine him deliberately picking that radio station or whatever it was just to annoy Ashe when he drove beside her, and so that she can get extra pissed when she retrieves her beloved bike, turns on the music and it's just more honky-tonky stuff x'D but anyway, the thing is she shouts after him, tells him that's her bike and says she hates him. B.O.B. wordlessly speaks for us McAshe shippers by giving Ashe the most "sure, Jan" side-eye in the history of side-eyes, and Ashe notices and is outraged enough to knock B.O.B.'s little hat right off his head again.

Again... this is renowned outlaw Elizabeth Caledonia "Calamity" Ashe, sitting on a payload, groaning about the guy she once very much had feelings for (and that doesn't even begin to cut it, if you ask me x'D) and for whom she tooooootally doesn't anymore, that picture on her bike doesn't MEAN that, OBVIOUSLYYYY!!, and so, she sits up, complains and doesn't do much of anything to get out of her current situation, right? :>

So, summing up my current understanding of EVERYTHING, thanks to Deadlock Rebels and my obsessive rewatches of Reunion + Roadtrip:

Jesse deliberately sought out Ashe so she would indirectly, unknowingly, help him set Echo free from the government's clutches.

Jesse hoped for a peaceful encounter despite knowing he might not get one.

Jesse has no intentions of returning to Overwatch but was willing to perform one final act of service for them by releasing Echo so she'd go give Winston and co. a hand.

Jesse is NOT surprised to see that Ashe: 1. Didn't change bikes at some point in the twenty years since they built it. 2. Didn't swap the ignition key for a button, the way she says she thought to do it in the novel until he gives her the keychain. 3. KEPT THE POETIC AF KEYCHAIN, despite resenting Jesse for his betrayal. 4. KEEPS A PICTURE OF THEM IN THEIR YOUNGER YEARS PASTED ON HER BIKE'S DASHBOARD.

Jesse claims he has business to deal with: he doesn't clarify said business verbally, but every shot after he says those words focuses on elements related to Ashe... and then, along with the novel's context, it's elements related to their BOND. Everything in that shot, EVERYTHING, is connected to the two of them. Elements that weren't shown before or during their shootout, and that are only introduced in that final moment when McCree is off to deal with his "business".

Ashe doesn't climb off the payload or stops it (which, going by how McCree simply pressed a button, and Ashe isn't immobilized in the least, she easily could have done it too if she had wanted to). Suggesting that, wherever the payload is heading, it isn't anywhere dangerous for Ashe and her crew, ergo, she is 100% sure McCree isn't trying to screw her over by turning her in to the authorities or so (or, at worst, she's completely confident that, even if he is going to do this, she'll be able to get out of it easily).

Jesse drives in the same direction the payload is headed. Another hint that suggests he might intend to head to the Deadlock hideout and that, whatever business he has left to deal with, it involves them.

If his intent ISN'T to go to the hideout... Jesse is still guaranteeing that Ashe will come after him by stealing her bike, the 18th birthday gift he gave her, and the picture she keeps of them. That he takes that very bike practically serves as painting a target on his back for her to hunt down, and he KNOWS IT.

In short: Jesse will have plenty of business with the Deadlock Gang in his future, and going by how pleased he seems to be when riding the bike, he's perfectly happy to handle that business on his terms, whenever he wants to handle it.

Extra tidbit: there's nothing in Deadlock Rebels about Jesse's smoking habit, something he definitely did pick up at some point while in the gang because, hahaha, he IS smoking in the picture Ashe keeps of him :> Which makes me wonder why, of all pictures Ashe chooses to keep on her bike's dashboard, she picks one where he's smoking.

Then, it makes me wonder about the fact that Jesse deliberately starts smoking when he's standing right in front of her (and then he winks at her!). He tosses that cigar after things get kind of dangerous for him because B.O.B. does something, and then... then he goes back to smoking.

RIGHT WHEN HE'S CLIMBING ON THE BIKE.

Like... seriously...

*unintelligible fangirl screaming*

I could be looking too deeply into this. I know I could be. Maybe Blizzard just wants me to go CRAZY with little symbolism and hints charged with SO MUCH MEANING that maybe don't have as much meaning as I thought it did...

... But man, I've sailed into the depths of the shippiest oceans for many ships that have gotten actual breadcrumbs from canon. I've gone wild over ships that have zero opportunity to become a thing in canon continuity. I've written a nearly 3M words story based on a ship that is just UNEXPLORED AMAZING POTENTIAL and ngl, I love exploring it myself, so I don't even begrudge canon that much for not giving it to me anymore.

But the fact is, no ship in OW, as far as I've seen, has remotely as much content, hints and strong ties as McAshe does -- at least, no ships between heroes. We had a cinematic that was CHARGED with significance, with little gestures, with even the smallest facial expressions that carried soooo much more meaning than whole episodes or even seasons in TV shows. And then? We got a novel. A full novel depicting their origins and exploring their dynamics, how tight their friendship was, and how some strong feelings were certainly brewing there, even if neither one was ready to act on them yet (as far as we saw...).

Finally... I'll say I did start working on a Sokkla Western AU ages ago because the idea I had for one was pretty amusing. Then Reunion dropped, and I said "Why would I need to finish that story anymore when the Sokkla Western AU is RIGHT HERE?!"

And that's it, I will stop rambling now because this got insanely long x'D but thank you very very much for giving me this chance to go WILD on everything I can see, within all those canon hints, with these two *-*

#anon #mcashe #the fact that canon is treating me right for once #is blowing my mind and always will #look I can end up crying in a heap when OW2 drops and we find out that nothing I thought of was real #it's entirely possible #... but we already got so much #SOOOOO MUCH #that I can't even say I'd be mad x'D #I am one happy camper on this ship #and I love them to pieces #I wish I had the time/chance to make all the art I've been inspired to about them *cries ten rivers* #one day... one day

[thefanficmonster]

Quarantine On Crack...yet again

PART ONE 

Until Dawn Gang + Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Underage Drinking, Shameless Flirting

Genre: Crack, Humor

Summary: Time to check on our favorite gang who are still quarantined together and have still surprisingly not murdered one another. The lodge is still intact, which is promising. And everyone still has all seven of their limbs. How long will this simulation of peace last for is the real question.

Requested by my dear Until Dawn Anon who I haven’t heard from in so long 🥺 Hii dear! I have missed you tremendously! Here we are again to witness the craziness of our babies and I hope you’ll join me on the rollercoaster once again! Sorry it has taken me so long to write the long-ago-promised part 2 to the crack fic but here it finally is! Hope you enjoy it! Love and miss you, Vy ❤

“Alright folks, the delivery has arrived!“ I announce as Josh, Sam and I stumble through the front door of the lodge, each one of us carrying large boxes of food and toiletries. Bless the Washingtons for still sending us food, if I were them, Lord knows I’d either forget to do so or simply not do it because I didn’t feel like it. Hey, I’m not saying I hate these people, I’m just insinuating that they would not among my priorities had I been the one responsible to send them food. They should be in that case - but I’m being very honest when I say they wouldn’t be.

“Finally!“ Jess and Emily are so in sync for two people who supposedly can’t stand each other, it’s scary. Not that I wasn’t already scared of them to begin with. I just have a hard time dealing with them. But they are good in bed so I keep them around...

“What do you mean ‘finally’? We still have food from last week.“ Matt points out, a slight frown on his face when he lifts his head from the book he’s reading.

“We ran out of coffee capsules, duh!“ Jess says as though she’s addressing the most obvious thing to a person with very low IQ.

Matt does the smart thing of rolling his eyes and returning to his book. Speaking of which, I’m sending another blessing to the Washingtons for having the GRAND library here. I know I would’ve gone nuts and murdered half of these bitches if I didn’t have a book or two to keep me busy. That’s how things are with me, I either have a book to read or I’m committing a murder rampage. No in-between, at least not with these people.

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs attracts our attention. Mike, Mr. Golden Boy comes down the stairs and plops down next to Jess, wrapping his arm around here, “There better be some beer in there.” He winks at me. Yeah, that’s Mike alright - has his arm around one girl, winks at another.

“I swear to God, if you two try to have a sword fight with empty beer bottles again, one of you is getting sent to the cabin.“ Josh warns us, taking on the parent role for once.

“Whoa there, Dr. Phil! Send us to the ranch next, why don’t ya!“ I roll my eyes at him, seeing his expression beg to change into a smile at my joke while he’s trying to maintain his no-funny-business look.

“Can we go unbox these things already? My arms are dead by now.“ Sam complains and doesn’t wait for an answer from us as she takes off with a rather fast pace towards the kitchen.

Josh and I are quick to follow. Much to my dismay, in order to reach the kitchen, we have to pass by where Emily is sitting. Since I haven’t already put in a request for a restraining order against her, passing within grabbing distance of her is risky as all hell. But you know me, I love risks. Passing in front of her I get ballsy and even give her the finger as I go. 

“You’ll regret that, Y/N! You’ll fucking regret it!“ She calls after me in teasingly threatening manner that almost makes me chuckle, however I keep my features as still as the ones of a statue and I don’t turn back around.

Sam and Josh have already cut the boxes open and have started moving the products from the box onto the kitchen counter and island. I grab the box cutter from its spot near the sink and cut the box open as well. To Josh’s dismay but my incredible luck, there are indeed a few beer bottles in my box. I cheer silently as I take them to the cooler.

“You know, Sam...“ Josh’s voice interrupts the silence just as I’m about to close the cooler. I’m honestly intrigued by what he has to say to Sam, and eavesdropping might be wrong, but it’s not like the fuckers can’t see me standing five fucking feet away! - so I pretend I’m organizing the cooler so I don’t have to return to the center of the kitchen where the two of them are crouched by their packages. A quick look over my shoulder confirms that they are indeed having a *MOMENT*, one I wouldn’t want to interrupt.

“Yes, Josh?“ Sam responds, giving me an urge to go grab some popcorn before any more progression happens. I know these two have eyes for one another, but they are both massive hypocrites! The are doing the very thing they hold against Chris and Ashley: hiding their feelings. Since I’m Josh’s unlicensed and unpaid therapist, I have a bit more intel on what’s going on in his head. It’s basically: 30% what am I doing with my life; 30% I need a drink; 40% Sam. You’d be surprised if you knew how often he mentions her when he’s venting. I’ve encouraged him to make a move countless times but it’s like trying to talk me into not killing Mike - impossible.

“You could melt the snow outside.” It takes me all my might to hold back from facepalming. Oh God, if this is what he thinks I meant when I said ‘tell her how you feel‘ he couldn’t be more wrong.

“Ok, lovebirds!“ I have never been happier to hear Chris’ voice. He saved me the trouble of having to step in and end the awkwardness myself. I turn around with a what I hope is a casual and friendly and totally not distressed smile. Behind Chris stand Ashley and Mike. “Need any help?“

“Yeah, you guys could come in handy.“ I tell them, waving them over almost desperately, “Ok, one of you help me with the rest of the things in the box. The other two can organize the shit that’s on the counter.“

I duck back down to continue unboxing. There’s bags of dried fruit, tea, the coffee capsules Jess was talking about, some spices which I’m not sure why they’re there but I’m not complaining.

“Heard you needed help.“ Oh for fuck’s sake, Mike again. Why couldn’t it be Chris or Ashley, or Satan for that matter. I’m really not in the mood to be cleaning blood off the kitchen floor tiles.

I tilt my head to the side and it’s only then that I realize how close he is to me. My eyes immediately travel to where I left the box cutter. “Back it up, Michael, or....“ FUCK IT’S NOT THERE. I swear I left it there! Where the fuck is it?!

“Or what?“ He reads my confusion and holds up his hand that is holding the box cutter I’m searching for. I’m afraid the more time we spend under the same roof the more experience he’ll have in defending himself and disarming me.

“Motherfucker...“ I growl and grab the tea and coffee capsules and stand up, “It’s a pandemic, damn it. Six feet apart at all times, buddy. I wish you’d put a mask over that mug of yours too.“ I narrow my eyes as I look down at him, resisting the desire to kick him.

“Only if you were the mask.“ Oh this fucker...he even has the audacity to stand up and step closer. Why are the four other people not noticing this? Ok yeah, cause they don’t wanna be witnesses to the murder of their old class prez. I got it.

“Six feet apart or six feet under, Munroe. Your call.“ He cockily waves the box cutter, not as a threat but as a remainder that I don’t have a weapon. “Bold of you to assume I need that to kill you.“

“She could always snap your neck.“ Chris pipes in.

“Or poke your eyes out.“ Ash does too.

“Or strangle you.“ Sam adds.

“The latter doesn’t sound so bad...“ He smirks at me, earning himself mortified looks from the peanut gallery.

“I. Hear. FLIRTING.“ Jess’ voice cuts through the tension that has built up in the kitchen. Mike and I turn to the doorway simultaneously as well as every other head in the room.

There is Jess looking like a pissed off cartoon toddler - aka: my escape.

“And I hear the void calling me.“ I catch her off-guard and put the items I was carrying in her arms, “I better go see what it wants from me. Byeeee.“

I all but hightail it out of there. I mean, say what you want about Mike’s shitty personality, or lack of personality all-together, but the fucker’s got sexappeal. Not that I’d ever admit it or fall under its effects.

In the living room I find Hannah and Beth with no traces of Emily or Matt. I feel slightly relieved, to be perfectly honest. Seeing the perfect stress relieving opportunity, I sit down next to Beth on the couch and lie down, placing my head in her lap. “Hi!” I give her a cheeky smile.

“You’re the Devil.“ Beth mutters without giving me as much as a glance. I turn to wave at Hannah and that’s when I see the chess board set up on the coffee table. So that’s what she’s so focused on.

“Oh please, you’ll make me blush.“ I fake a giggle and blow her a kiss while she remains completely unbothered.

“Whatever’s going on over there - I DON’T LIKE IT!“ Josh says menacingly as him, Sam, Chris and Ashley enter the living room.

“ME NEITHER“ Oh no, that’s Emily’s voice. Her and Matt have just walked into the lodge after another stroll - they have those when they wanna make out in private. Speaking of making out, I don’t see Jess and Mike anywhere, much to my relief - one of them wants to kill me at the moment but they both wanna sleep with me too so you get why it’s a situation I’d like to avoid.

“No jealousy, guys, please. I love you all the same!“ I prep myself up in a half-sitting position to give them an apologetic but seductive look when a pillow whacks me in the face, “What the hell?!“

“I thought you loved me more!“ Beth barks back angrily.

Well, I’m in some serious trouble now. Not only is Beth DEADLY when angry, but she also has two siblings who are more than capable of kicking my ass.

“I do! I really do, Beth, I swear!“ My apologies are put to an end by another hit with a pillow. “You know I do!“ I sit up completely and turn to look at Beth who has turned the opposite direction. “Pwease?” I give her the best puppy-dog eyes I can pull of despite feeling utterly ridiculous.

“So you do have a favorite member after all? And it’s not me? Wow, Y/N.“ Ash glares at me as well, crossing her arms and also turning away from me.

“I SECOND THAT.“ Emily stomps her foot down and storms out of the room

Oh fuck.

“I do too, honestly. I’m really hurt, Y/N.“ Matt the person I can always trust to be on my side has turned his back to me in this time of need.

Oh fuck squared.

“You’re in some deep shit now.“ Hannah laughs almost evilly as she leans back in the armchair she’s sitting in.

“Josh, could you set something on fire again? Preferably me this time.“ I mutter with a monotone voice. I’d like to picture there’s a rain cloud above my head just pouring down on me. And zaps me with lightning every now and then for good measure.

“Nah, that’d be too easy on you.“ This motherfucker....

“Oh so you WANT me to tell a specific someone what you think and say about them when they aren’t around?“ I change the meaning of ‘death glare‘ with this look I give him. I’m sure that if I keep staring at him like this long enough I’ll burn holes into his skull.

After a few moments of still silence and intense glaring he finally breaks, “Alright fine, I’ll get the deodorant and lighter.“

I sigh in relief. I suppose there are worse ways to leave this world...

“No!“

“Don’t you dare!“

“No way!“

Beth, Ashley and Matt all jump up as soon as Josh gives any effort to stand up.

“Washington, I swear to God!“ There go Emily and Jess in sync again as they both enter the room armed. Jess is only in her underwear but we don’t talk about that. What’s important is that she’s carrying the box cutter from before while Emily is armed with a dull butter knife. Knowing how determined she can be, I wouldn’t underestimate her power due to the lack of sharpness to her weapon.

Josh is rightfully stunned by the sudden turn of events and sits his ass back down with hands raised in the air. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

“Y’all love me!“ I smile at them, putting a hand over my heart.

Jess turns to me in a split-second, angry as fuck, and points the box cutter at me. “Y/N, I swear to God-”

“Alright, alright, alright...“ I too raise my hands in surrender.

This is how shit goes down over here. Just pure fucking CHAOS, a lot of drinking, flirting and sex jokes. And so much wondering how we’re all friends.

#until dawn #until #dawn #untildawn #until dawn fanfiction #until dawn fanfic #until dawn crack #until dawn humor #until dawn josh #until dawn sam #until dawn chris #until dawn ashley #until dawn mike #until dawn emily #until dawn matt #until dawn jessica #until dawn au #until dawn x reader #beth x reader #michael munroe #mike x reader #emily x reader #chrashley #chris x ashley #sam x josh #the dark pictures #the dark pictures house of ashes #the dark pictures man of medan #the dark pictures anthology #the dark pictures little hope

[3wisellamas]

OK KO Cast on the Infinity Train:

KO doesn't think he has any issues, that he's a happy, well-adjusted kid -- but then he gets on the train with a number in the high 400s and he's just like "What." He might be able to repress his negative emotions and hide them from himself, but there's no hiding them from the train!

Enid's number is pretty damn high with her identity and trust problems, though at least she gets through those pretty early. She might actually be the one who, if she meets up with any of her friends, would actually put in the work to get her exit first, but refuse to take it until the others got theirs as well.

Rad would literally just start out at, like, 35 or something, since like Jesse his main problems are his shitty friends and his need to be A Man. But, he'd take FOREVER to bring it down even to 34! Less because he's not willing to better himself and acknowledge his sensitive side, and more he just gets distracted by a car full of cats. ;v;

Dendy just wouldn't be on the train, period. MAYBE she'd get on with, like, a 12 from going a little too far with her experiments or insecurity about her heroic-ness next to KO, but that's about it. Which is a shame, I feel like she'd really get a kick out of learning how it all worked!

Now we're getting into the good stuff: Mr Gar. His number would be QUITE high (still triple-digits though, maybe 700s?) and the instant he understood what that meant he would immediately hide it, and go into denial that he has any issues at all, causing it to slowly increase until an entire army of denizens finally smack some sense into him. Like in the actual OK KO episode that dealt with him going into an artificial game world to reduce his numeric fear level, he'd probably need a lot of help from others to be able to face his past, and deal with it in a healthy way instead of just shoving it under the rug.

Carol...I get the feeling she'd actually be pretty high too, though not as high as Gar, at least as long as we're talking about season 1-2 Carol. Like Amelia, she's got a dead boyfriend to deal with, but with the added baggage of getting pregnant with and raising his son after his death! And of course, depending on the timing, we could be talking four or five digits for season 3 post-Big Reveal Carol, or even more during the finale.

Lord Boxman would be...about average number-wise, honestly. Like 200 or so. All the train really wants is for him to say "Yeah, my whole deal with friendship and being a control freak is because I really need to move on from my friend who betrayed me all those years ago." But...he won't say that, this is Boxman we're talking about. On a mechanical, robot-controlled train. One-One better watch his back, because he's coming for him!!

The Boxbots, if they're even eligible for numbers, are for the most part gonna be very high three-digits to start out with, since being mass-produced as plaza-destroying weapons and slave labor for an abusive dad who constantly invalidates their emotions and forces them to compete for his affection makes for a pretty crappy life overall. (Specifically, I'm thinking low 900s for Ernesto, 990s or an even 1000 for Darrell, 800s for Shannon and Raymond, and maybe high 300s for both Mikayla and Jethro) But, ironically, I think they might set new records for getting their numbers down quickly? Just give these kids some patient denizens willing to show them love and teach them how to stand up for themselves and they'll be alright. ;v;

Professor Venomous will start out with numbers all the way up his arm. I have exactly zero doubt he'd be the Simon in this scenario, since the man can't face a single one of his thousands of problems to save his life. Plus...I'd think the Chrome Car would be particularly rough for him if he happened to pass through it, which we know he totally will. Getting off the train, if he even ever does, will NOT be easy.

Fink probably gets a decently high number, from all of her boss' secrets she's had to keep, like around 250 I'd guess, but she just doesn't care. This is a train where literally anything can happen, and she is GOING to cause problems on purpose! :3

Foxtail's number is HIGH. Though she'd likely figure things out and seek to bring it down soon enough, there's gonna be a lot of cars she just straight-up suplexes out of frustration along the way. And I'm not talking every denizen in the car, I'm talking literally disconnecting and suplexing the actual train car. Also, she'd be the one to try escaping via the Wasteland, though at least she shouldn't have too many Ghom problems (rather, they'll have problems with her!)

Elodie would REALLY depend on where you pull her from. Pre-POINT Prep arc, you're looking at a SERIOUSLY high number, that'd likely only go higher -- though I do get the feeling that, EVENTUALLY, she'd figure out that she's fucking up and try to atone, like Grace, but not before she's a train-wide celebrity just basking in it all. Post-POINT Prep-but-pre-Dark Plaza Elodie might be a little better, more willing to acknowledge she needs to work on her friendships and how she interacts with people, but she still might be a bit of a disaster at first. Season 3 Elodie would be the most willing to listen and deal with her flaws -- still a high number though, I really get the feeling she ended the show still very much a work in progress, with a lot of issues we didn't quite get to see.

Crinkly Wrinkly ends up on the train with a number of -100. He gets off by murdering someone and bringing it up to zero. One-One just shrugs and sends him on his way.

#based off that adventure time / infinity train crossover post i just reblogged #ok ko #ok ko let's be heroes #infinity train #spoilers #don't mind me i'm just having fun ;p

[hockeyboysiguess]

Let’s Fall in Love for the Night

a/n: i listened to this song (let’s fall in love for the night by FINNEAS) and immediately got hit with matty vibes. enjoy! let me know if you wanna see more tkachuk writing!

Let’s fall in love for the night

And forget in the morning

Play me a song you like

You bet I’ll know every line

I’m the boy your boy hoped you’d avoid

Don’t waste your time on jealous guys, fuck that noise

I know better than to call you mine

You slammed the shot glass down on the bar, your face scrunching up as the tequila burned down your throat. You shook your head as the liquid settled in your stomach and then let out a sigh.

“I think I need another one,” you shouted over the music to your friend Jess.

“Whatever you need, babes,” she said, already leaning across the bar to wave down the bartender. “I know you just asked for space, but you need to dump his ass now.”

“I know what you think. You’ve been telling me every fifteen minutes,” you threw back at her, “but it’s not that easy. We’ve been together forever and I don’t really know what my life looks like without him anymore.”

“You get to hang out with me more,” she sang at you as two more shots appeared in front of you. “The biggest thing, babes, is that you deserve better than him on literally every level.”

You took the shot, knowing she was about to continue her rant of trashing your long-time boyfriend that she’d started five minutes before you’d even arrived at her house to pregame together.

“You are smarter than him. You are hotter than him, like look at you!” She gestured to your body and you rolled you eyes. You used her outstretched hand as an opportunity to put her shot in her hand. “Your ass looks killer in those pants and you and I both know it. Where was I? Oh, right! You are the breadwinner in that relationship. He has that lame-ass, poor-paying job and he refuses to get a better one even though you have the same degree. Who the fuck does that? You pretty much pay all of the bills while he does god knows what.”

She found a pause long enough to take her shot, which very clearly did not go down smoothly. She stuck her hand out to indicate she needed antoehr second before she could continue. You took the moment to order a drink, an actual beer instead of another shot.

“Most importantly of all!” Jess drummed her palms on the bar as she worked her way up to something. “He is terrible at sex!” You tried to shush her because she had shouted that loud enough to get the attention of a few interested parties around you, but you had no luck. “I mean, did her ever make you finish once? In three years? God, he sucks so bad and you need to actually for sure dump him and kick him out of the apartment you pretty much pay for by yourself. ”

You sighed, not loving your life choices that led to this moment right now. You were grateful the bartender dropped your beer in front of you so you could hide behind the bottle instead of answering. Part of you knew she was at least a little bit right, but you didn’t know what everything looked like without him and there were some parts of him that you couldn’t let go of, some moments that pulled at your heart when you thought about. He’d been so much worse lately though and you were having a hard time continuing to give him chances because a second chance happened so long ago you might have run out of numbers.

“Any reason a girl who looks this good is looking sad and drinking a pretty shitty beer at a bar on a Saturday night?”

You turned to see who had spoken and were met with piercing blue eyes and a mess of curly hair. Stubble coated his jawline and a smirk played at the corners of his mouth. Objectively attractive. Objectively your type. Objectively trouble.

“I’m Matthew,” he told you. “You are?”

You sighed, debating if you should cut him off with mercy like you were used to doing. Jess cut in before you could, telling him your name and hers before you could back out.

“So, about that terrible beer,” he picked it up and slid it close to the opposite edge of the bar from you, “can I buy you a better one?”

As if he knew, your phone lit up on the bar with your boyfriend’s name flashing across the screen, the hearts on either side of his name mocking you. You sighed and opened the text anyway.

I know you’re out with Jess right now and I just wanted to say that I know we’re taking some space right now, but space doesn’t include seeing other people to me. So I’m not gonna do it and I sure hope you’re not.

“Oh my god, give me your phone,” Jess whined from Matt’s opposite side. “I need to throw your phone into a blender. He needs to stop texting you.”

“Boyfriend?” Matthew asked you, an eyebrow raising at the question. “Seems like the jealous type if he’s texted that much.”

Your eyes shifted from your phone to Matthew and back again. He was trying to control you even after you asked for space. You were done just like that. You shot off a quick text to him that simply read ‘We’re done. Get your shit out of my apartment,’ then shoved shoved your phone into your purse, deciding to forget about him and whatever he was about to do next for the rest of the night.

“No, my ex. He still has shit at my apartment and is trying to figure out when he can come get it,” you replied

Jess started freaking out behind you, her fists pumping into the air in wild, uneven movements in her drunken excitement.

“Good,” Matthew smiled at you, “so, about that drink?”

Three more drinks each in an hour and you were stumbling through the front door of Matt’s apartment, his mouth clumsy against yours thanks to the alcohol and his efforts removing his jacket at the same time. You giggled when he cursed against you mouth as he had to pull way to actually get his jacket off. He tossed it somewhere behind you as his mouth reconnected with yours.

His hands were so different compared to your ex. You felt bad comparing them, that your mind was wandering there, but you couldn’t help it. Matthew pulled at different parts of you than he did. His hands on your hips, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip, one of his legs pushing between yours as he guided you so your back was pressed against the nearest wall. One of his hands ran up towards your chest, your shirt riding up with it. 

“Jesus, fuck,” Matthew groaned when he saw move of your body. “You’re so fucking sexy.” 

“Then stop fucking around and fuck me already.”

Your last words came out as a moan as his mouth found your neck. He chuckled against your skin as he travelled down, sinking low so his lips could kiss along the edge of your low cut shirt. His large hands wrapped around the back of your thighs and he suddenly lifted you, drawing a yelp from you as your nails dug into his shoulders for stability. 

“I hope you know what you’re in for.” 

Apparently what you were in for was the best sex you’d ever had. Your chest was steal heaving with your second orgasm when Matt slid off the bed. He stepped into his boxers before grabbing his phone off of the nightstand. 

“Any idea where my purse is?” you asked him. 

“Uh, I think kitchen counter?” He said it like a question, so much so he threw in additional, “Maybe?” 

You sighed and rolled yourself out of his bed, sliding on your panties and bra before heading toward the kitchen. Your purse hadn’t quite made it to the counter, falling short onto the floor. You grabbed your phone and headed back toward’s Matthew’s room. You audibly groaned when you saw the notifications on your phone. 13 missed calls. 7 voicemails. 26 text messages. All from him.

“Jesus,” you mumbled under your breath.

“I know I’m pretty good, but already moving on to god-like compliments?”

Matthew’s joke brought you out of the spiral your brain had started to go down. You scrunched your nose up at him and stuck your tongue out, which made him throw his head back and laugh. 

“So you had a good time then,” he chided you. His phone hanging loose in his hands as he did nothing to hide the fact that his eyes were raking up and down your body right now. “Wanna go again?” 

“Give me like ten minutes,” you mumbled. 

You barely registering what he’d said as you started to scroll through his texts. Each one was crazier then the last. Guaranteed, you had ended a three-year relationship with a guy you lived with over text, but you hadn’t realized quite how unhinged he could sound sometimes. You’d barely gotten a quarter of the way in when your phone was taken from your hands.

“Hey, that’s mine!” you whined. Matt was dangling it above your head, completely out of your reach. “Matthew, give it back.” 

“Mm, nope. It’s mine for tonight and so are you,” he informed you. “Pick a song.” 

He offered his phone out to you instead, Spotify open for you. He wiggled it a little from side to side to try and peak your interest. 

“Let’s forget about that douchebag after I just fucked you way better than he does, okay? You pick a song and then we’ll go again and I’ll fuck you even better. Deal?” 

A smirk pulled at the corner’s of his mouth. He knew you weren’t going to say no before you’d even decided to say yes. You weren’t sure how he’d known it was your ex. You’d probably given it away somehow. Your mom had always told you that you were an open book, begging to be read. You sighed and took his phone, deciding this night you might regret was better than dealing with you current problems.

You played the first thing you could think of. You regretted your choice as the first few chords started and Matt started laughing at your choice. 

“Sorry, that’s super fucking lame,” you mumbled as you began your search for a new song. 

“No, no,” Matt’s hands wrapped over your to stop your movements. “I love this song, even though it’s definitely super fucking lame.” 

You smiled up at him and it made a mirroring smile come across his face. You let go, letting yourself be entirely in this moment tonight. You let yourself forget the texts and voicemails waiting for you. You let yourself forget how horrible it going home tomorrow was going to be. Instead, you let a pair of beautiful blue eyes and a mess of curls distract you. You made him yours for the night, thinking that was all it could be. 

You need a pick-me up?

I’ll be there in twenty-five

I like to push my luck

So take my hand, let’s take a drive

“Are you up?”

Matthew usually texted you. By usually you mean over the past two months where you’d seen him at least three times a week. Fresh off your breakup, he’d become a great regular distraction that made it worth your time to text him instead of trying your chances at the bar again. Apparently he was either drunk or couldn’t read a clock because it was midnight on a Tuesday and he was calling you.

“Well, I answered the phone,” you groaned as you rubbed your eyes with your free hand, trying to wake yourself up a bit. “What’s up, Matt?”

“You didn’t answer my text and I wanna see you tonight,” he told you.

“You’re the worst hook up I’ve ever had for my sleeping schedule,” you mumbled. “Look, Matt, I had a shit day at work and I really just want to sleep and-“”

“Get your shoes on. I’ll be there in like, half an hour.”

He hung up without even bothering to wait for an answer. You tossed your phone down your bed as you let yourself fall back into the blankets. You wanted to let them swallow you up and drag you back to sleep, but you knew Matt was showing up regardless of how you felt about it. You let your feet drop heavily on the floor and let out a sigh before pushing yourself out of bed. You threw your hair up, at least grateful you’d made yourself shower before you went to bed, and grabbed the first clean clothes you could find. The fact that he’d asked you to put on your shoes was odd, but it was Matt. You couldn’t really expect anything because. 

The time flew by and Matthew was knocking on your front door before you could even fully process the situation. How he looked this good with joggers hung low on his hips, and a workout t-shirt at midnight you didn’t really know.

“You’re not wearing shoes,” Matt sang softly. “I thought you knew that part was non-negotiable.”

“You called me after I’d already been asleep for two hours. You should be amazed I’m vertical right now,” you grumbled at him as you slid on the nearest pair of sneakers you could find. “Where are we going?”

“You said you had a bad day.” Matt verbally skated around your question as he stepped into the hallway of your apartment, propping the door open for you. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” you sighed. It had just been one of those days where there were too many little things that individually all sounded fine, but when put together had made you miserable. “How was your day?”

Matt shook his head at you and tsked softly, “Sharing is caring. And you can’t expect me to share if you don’t.”

“Do you like to try and sound like a kindergarten teacher to piss me off,” you stepped into the hallway and began fussing with the lock on your front door to get it to close, “or do you think it’s a kink for me? Spoiler alert, Matty, the answer is I fucking hate it.”

Matt laughed a full belly laugh and you finally heard the lock click into place. You spun on your heels to face Matthew. He smiled down at you and jutted one of his hands out into the space between you two.

“Let’s go for a drive. If you’re a good girl, I might even throw in some French fries at the end for ya.” A smirk pulled at the corners of his mouth as he added, “And an orgasm or two because I’m feeling generous.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but the smile forming on your lips betrayed you. You practically slapped your hand against his as your grabbed it.

“Careful with the merchandise!” Matthew shouted. You shushed him, knowing your elderly neighbor was already none too thrilled with you since her bedroom wall was shared with yours. “Oh, that old bat has heard worse.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as Matthew dragged you out to his car. Part of you, a part of you that you didn’t want to acknowledge, noted just how boyfriend-like this whole evening was. Or at least, that this isn’t what people who are just hooking up typically do. You pushed that thought aside. You knew this was just how Matthew was. This wasn’t serious and wasn’t on its way to it, but it could be self-contained serious. Each night could be serious. You could fall for him each and every single night you were with him if you wanted to, as long as the feelings were gone by the time the morning came.

I love it when you talk that nerdy shit

We’re in our twenties talking thirties shit

We’re making money but we’re saving it

‘Cause talking shit is cheap and we talk a lot of it

You won’t stay with me, I know

But you can have your way with me ‘til you go

“Okay, okay, try me again,” Matt said slowly, his fingertips tapping slowly on table between you. “I definitely won’t get it this time, but it’s hot when you’re smart.”

You rolled your eyes at him, a frequent occurrence, and shook your head softly. You grabbed your orange juice and took a few swigs of it before trying to explain the intricacies of your problem at work to him. He was cute and he was really good at hockey, but his ability to understand your job was lacking. Matthew still tried to understand though, even though he knew he probably wouldn’t get it. Your ex could understand, you’d gone to school together, but he never tried. It was the morning though, so you couldn’t be in love with Matty right now. That feeling, that temporary love, was reserved for nights in his bed or yours.

“Okay, I still don’t get it,” Matthew sighed, clearly a little frustrated with himself. “But you clearly know what you’re doing and you’re way too smart for me. I hope our babies get your smarts, but my hockey sense. You still can’t figure out offsides.”

“How many babies am I pushing out here, Tkachuk?” You raised an eyebrow at him, but you knew he was just talking shit, trying to get a reaction out of you. “Also, offsides is complicated and I’ve got a college degree taking up space in my brain where you have hockey knowledge.”

“I was thinking three,” Matt told you as he tossed his coffee cup between his hands, sliding it across the table with each toss. “I’ll strap them in skates as soon as they can walk, make them fall in love with hockey before your brains take over and they decide to become doctors or something ridiculous.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t that just be the worst thing if little Matty became a doctor instead of a hockey player?” You lifted your glass to your lips and smiled against the edge. “Absolutely the worst thing that could happy to him.”

“Exactly.” Matthew’s smile was evident in his voice. “Glad you’re on board with this plan.”

“Mm, I think you owe me some jewelry and a big party before I pop out any kids for you, Matt,” you sighed as you set your cup back down on the table.

“You’re so fucking picky. I’m just going to stand there in the jewelry store with a blank check and let you go ape shit,” Matt informed you.

“Thinking about wifing me up, huh?” you joked.

The words came out of your mouth and you knew you’d gone too far. Everything else was just running your mouths, something you both needed to keep things light and non-committal. But that joke was walking dangerously close to asking for a real commitment and a future.

“Do you want me to be thinking about it?”

You had absolutely no idea how your were supposed to feel after hearing his response. He was pushing the issue back on you, trying to get you to admit if your question was a joke that didn’t quite land or if it was serious. The problem was you honestly didn’t know. You knew you weren’t looking for anything. You knew you hadn’t let Matthew take you home the night you met at the bar to start anything. He wasn’t the type of guy you would have ever seen yourself with, but maybe that’s because you’d only ever pictured your future with one specific person.

“Is it okay if I don’t really know?”

The question was risky, because up until that moment everything was completely casual. You were forcing an issue that you weren’t even sure was really what you wanted or not.

“I’m good however you want to be. I just like being around you,” Matthew told you. “Whatever you want that to look like, I’m down for.”

You smiled and took his open ending as an opportunities to change the ton of the conversation with, “What if I wanted to move to the Bahamas and become a scuba instructor with you and our three kids?”

“Give up my hockey career to see you in a bikini everyday? Sign me the fuck up.”

I know better

I know better

I know better than to ever call you mine

It was like that conversation had only happened in your mind. You’d left the diner that day and Matthew acted like everything was exactly the same as it had been when you walked in an hour prior. You pretended too, because what else were you supposed to do?

“Okay so,” Matthew tossed the stress ball from your desk up into the air and paused to ensure he caught it on its journey back down. “I wanted to ask if you’d come to this party thing the team’s having. It’s like, kinda nice, but I promise it’ll be low-key. I’ll even buy you a new dress for it. Well, I’m gonna let one of the guys’ wives do it. Call it a gift for putting up with me for so long.”

You had said yes without even thinking really. Also, you said yes without realizing Matthew was totally lying about how nice the event was. When the dress arrived on your doorstep, you unboxed it, expecting something just on the right side of too revealing. Instead, you found an absolutely stunning right, knee length formal dress.

“Matthew,” you sighed to yourself in your empty apartment, the dress in your hands. “What are you doing here?”

You mentally blocked out more time to get ready than you’d previously been planning, knowing you had to step up your game this time. Still didn’t mean you weren’t rushing to put the last bobby pin in place when Matthew knocked on your door that Friday evening.

“It’s open!” you shouted from your bathroom.

“You know, that’s not really safe!” Matthew shouted back, his voice getting louder as he came toward you, his dress shoes tapping against the floorboards as he walked. “You know I could’ve been- holy fuck.”

You turned to see Matthew standing in the doorway of your bathroom, his eyes raking up and down your body unabashedly. One of his hands gripped the doorframe in support as his eyes lingered at his favorite areas of your body.

“Jesus Christ,” he breathed out. “You look unbelievable.”

“Thank you,” you smiled softly. Your nerves were rising under his intense gaze and you kept fidgeting with a strand of your hair. “Thank you for the dress. And thank whoever picked it out for me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Definitely gonna have to thank her.”

You giggled a little at just how in shock he still was. Guaranteed, he’d never seen you actually try and look this good before. The best you’d probably ever looked for him was the night at the bar where you met.

“Are you ready to go?” Matthew asked after clearing his throat. He finally had collected himself enough.

“Just gotta our the heels on and then yes,” you replied, motioning for him to get out of your way so you could get to your heels in your bedroom across the hall.

You sat down on the edge of your bed and began winding the straps of your heels around your ankle. Jess has picked them out when she saw the dress. They were a little cumbersome to put on, but they looked incredible with Matthew’s gift, so you dealt with the hassle of getting them on.

“Hey um, I wanted to talk to you about something before we go,” Matthew asked, his voice shaky.

For someone who was usually so confident it was almost a turn off, he was practically green when you looked up at him, taking a physical and mental break before putting on your other shoe. His hands were clenching and in clenching at his sides.

“Look uh, I know you’re,” he paused and looked you over again before continuing. “Well, you’re you and I’m me and this is stupid why did I start this?”

He sighed and let his head fall back, his curls flopping back as he gathered his thoughts. He cursed softly before looking back at you.

“I know I said I’d be whatever you wanted in the diner, that it was up to you and anything would be fine with me.” He finally met your eyes. “But I don’t think anything is fine with me. Fuck, I know better than to think you’re mine, but you feel like mine. God, you really, really do.”

He had crossed the room and was standing in front of you before you could process the words coming out of his mouth. Matthew’s hands grabbed yours and he pulled you to your feet, keeping you steady because you were still only wearing one heel.

“I love being around you,” Matthew told you, his baby blues looking into your eyes. You felt like he was looking straight into you, into the parts that made you who you were. “You’re one of my favorite people I’ve ever met. I know I shouldn’t ask. You’re so successful and smart and strong and you deserve so much better than me. I know better than to think you’d want to be with me, but fuck, do you want to be with me? Because that’s what I really want.”

You didn’t even have to think about your answer. You knew it. You steadied yourself against him and pressed your lips to his. His arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground to eliminate the rockiness from the one heel situation. His mouth felt different against yours, eager, but tender and caring in a way you’d never felt before from him or anyone.

“Mine,” he whispered against your lips, his smile making kissing you too challenging in that moment. “You’re mine now.”

“Kinda already was,” you laughed lightly. “Glad you’re taking the position of boyfriend up officially.”

“Oh shit. Miscommunication. I was promoting myself right to future husband,” Matthew joked. “Guess I gotta earn that promotion now, huh?”

#matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fanfic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #nhl writing #hockey imagine #hockey writing #hockey fanfiction

[sgt-morgan]

Lucky Kentucky ch. 1

Chapter 2

Hello there, this is my new Rockstar!Bucky x Reader fic. It was heavily inspired by my love of seventies mega rockstars, Almost Famous, Classic Rock, and a little bit of personal whimsy. I hope you enjoy, and read responsibly.

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ : cussing, sexy times, drugs, booze, smoking, objectification, fornication, liberation, and a litany of other sordid topics and traumas.

Your name didn’t matter, at least not so far as you could tell. They called you Kentucky, sometimes if they felt cheeky, Bluegrass. You liked it, the first band that gave you that name was some shitty college band out of Detroit. They were convinced they were gonna be the next Led Zepplin. They called it quits three years later, a good old fashioned Rock n’ Roll suicide, booze, women, and drugs. The finer things always gets the best amateurs. However, their lead singer had a way with words, he came up with the nickname. He also wrote a beautiful song about a girl named Kentucky, who he just couldn’t swing, some big named country superstar sang the song and the last you’d heard he had been writing for the best of the best since. This earned you your title, Lucky Kentucky. A bit on the nose for your taste, but it made perfect sense. You kept following the music, you went to a band in L.A., the day you left, they signed a record deal with Sony. The next was a little English girl and her backing band, her first tour of England with you landed her a tour of the US faster than they could say ‘Burbon.’

You are what is known in the music business as a road manager, so far as you could tell, this was the job you were born to do. You made schedules, you supplied booze and other artifacts, you got hotels, paid off paparazzi, packed busses, and shoved half out of their mind rock stars on to stages in more countries than you could count, you couldn’t imagine any better life. You were the best of the best, you were who the record company called when everyone else had given up. You were a fixer, and an incredibly talented one at that. You had a gift for taking a mediocre side show band, and turning them into headliners.

So when you got the call from Tony and Pepper that you had to fix The Howling Comandos, you were shocked. They were big time, nothing like your usual fixer upper opener that you could make insta stars. They certainly weren’t your crowd, but you always had a problem saying no to Pepper, Tony’s company manager. Tony was a talented mixer, and a gifted album technician. So when he started his own label, it blew up pretty quickly. The comandos were the first band he signed. They had won Album of the Year their first Grammy season without even batting an eyelash. So once business started booming, Pepper took over the paper work, and Tony did what he did best, Fucking around with a mixing board. You had met them when you started working with Natasha and the Widows, a Blondie style punk outfit. They had a pension for eating men alive. Eventually, it got in the way of their success, so you stepped in and saved the band from total destruction. You and the starks had been thick as theives since.

“Tony, you mean to tell me, that the Commandos, the biggest artists of the decade, need my help?” You scoffed down the line, checking the Widows out of the last hotel of their tour with Greta Van Fleet.

“Yes Bluegrass, I do. Barnes is going through some existential heart break shit ‘cause ole bitch called of the wedding, and fucked the Guitarist of their opener. He’s been all drugs, booze, and sappy shit since, and someone’s gotta get the mother fucker back on stage. I’m Loosing money here Kentucky, something’s gotta give.” Tony sounded livid, there were very few times where Tony was as frazzled as this, so you knew it was serious.

“Alright, but I have conditions.” You sighed, you thought you could hear the sound of Pepper weeping tears of joy, but you couldn’t be sure. “I want the Widows to open, I’m not done with them yet Stark they’ve got some potential that still needs to be tapped. I want Frankie on security, I want Wanda for wardrobe and makeup, I want Vision for my techie, and I’m taking Peter as my Head roadie.” It was a big ask, but if you were doing this, you were gonna need the best possible team.

“Jeez woman, rob the treasure chest would yah? You want all of them? You just asked me for the entire roster. They’re on other tours! I can’t just- HEY! Woman don’t you-“ you heard a slap and an ow, and suddenly you were with the one and only Pepper Potts- Stark.

“Kentucky? You have a deal. You can have the Allstars in three months, everyone’s tours should be wrapping up, that puts you just in time for festival season. You up to it?” Pepper sounded like someone had just kicked her puppy. So you knew, you were the only one that could save the day.

“Virginia? Count me in. Give me the three months to plan and connect with the team and I’ll make sure James Barnes makes it onto that bus.” You could practically taste her relief through the receiver. What had you just signed up for.

————————————————————————

You’d done it. Six months, 7 bus rentals, 75 hotels, 107 plane rides, 20 festivals, 95 shows, 89 cities, and roughly 200 people later, you had managed to construct the American leg of one of the biggest and longest tours you had ever seen. All it took was two months, and 23 bottles of Jack Daniels, and you had done it. Now all you had to do was meet the band, and have your first tour meeting.

You had never been so nervous to meet a group of men in your life. Normally, these meetings we’re pretty laid back and informal. Lots of getting to know you, and goofing off. This time, you were in charge of a multi-million dollar tour that could make or break the band of the decades d ruin your career. No pressure. Needless to say, you were fairly nervous.

You were relieved upon arrival that the first people to make it in were the people who seemed to be the most reliable. Vision and Wanda were quietly whispering  to eachother in the corner as always, their hands gently intertwined as they surveyed the rest of their new subjects. Frankie was standing off in another corner looking like an immovable brick wall. His sunglasses firmly in place on his nose, looking scary as always. Peter was off with the widows flirting with their drummer. You didn’t think it would end well, seeing as MJ was a bit of a hot head, and Peter was akward and nerdy, but to your surprise, they seemed to be getting along swimmingly. Natasha and Carol were staring at a book full of something, if you had to guess, it would be song lyrics of some variety, and to your shock and absolute awe, Peggy had saddled up to Steve Rogers. Steve was the guitarist of the Commandos, and he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying her company. Tony and Pepper were chatting with Clint and Sam the drummer and bassist of the Commandos, and Bruce Banner, your newly appointed second hand. James Barnes was nowhere to be seen.

“Well, well, good to see that most of you have arrived early!” You smirked walking to the head of the table with your big box of tour folders, Peter moving instantly to help you. “If I have not yet made your acquaintance, I am Kentucky, just Kentucky, you may call me Bluegrass or Lucky, but I will always prefer Kentucky. It has come to my immediate attention, that you sorry suckers were in need of a fantastic road manager, and here I am.” You survey the room as you spoke taking into account every face that you could see in the room and making sure everyone was following. “Now, where is James?”

————Some unnamed bar across town ————

Bucky’s head pounded. Wether it was from the booze or the pounding music he had no clue, but he could tell that it was far too early to be in this booth.

“You really went for it last night Barnes,” Bucky looks for the source of the voice to find that, Luke Cage, owner of the best bar in LA, was unloading boxes of tequila into his storage cabinets under the bar. “You shouldn’t have either, you’re late for your tour meeting.”

Bucky absorbed the information, and felt it melt out of his brain as if it were nothing more than an irritating ear worm. “How do you know about that?” He sighed running a hand down his face and slowly standing to grab his leather jacket.

“It’s sharpied onto your arm,” Luke chuckled pointing to Bucky’s right arm in just about the only clean space someone could fine. “Steve came in and did it last night before giving about a hundred dollars to let you sleep it off in that booth.”

“Of course he did,” Bucky scoffed, “the punk never knew when to leave well enough alone.” Bucky quickly slipped his sunglasses over his aching eyes, as he watched Luke slide a cup of coffee across the bar. “Goodbye Luke, your bar is the only thing I’m gonna miss about this town.”

“Goodbye Bucky, the free live music, and the fantastic tips are all I’m going to miss about you boys. I’ll tell Jess you said hello.” And with that final fond farewell, Bucky left Luke’s bar for the last time before he was trapped in a tour bus for six months.

The drive to Stark Records was as second nature to him as tying his shoes. He easily glided in between cars, making record time to his place of employment. He parked his bike next to a slot that occupied the sweetest little red corvette he’s seen in a good while. The tune in the reference catches his brain and he starts to whistle the chorus, wishing the artist formerly known as Prince was still around. He walked past Sharon, the desk clerk, giving her his customary wink and a smirk, stealing a sucker out of her candy dish and wandering into the meeting.

That’s when he saw her, the hottest piece of ass this side of the sunset strip. She looked powerful, she looked commanding, she was covered in tattoos and wearing the best looking little black number. She was saying his name. “Where is James?”

“Right here sweet thing, I hope I’m not too late to the party, I’d hate to miss anything that came out of that pretty little mouth.” Boy was it pretty, the full lips covered in a red shade that he could only seem to imagine smeared all over her moth as she panted his name.

“Ah, yes there he is. Hello, James. Just in time to-”

“James is my dad sugar, I’m sure we can think of something a little more clever for you to-”

“Alright then Junior if you don’t mind, I’m trying to conduct a meeting, and I will not be letting a drunken moron interupt my carefully planned work flow.”

Bucky’s jaw snapped shut as the people around him, some friends and some strangers, laughed at the clever lady’s little barb.

“Alright then, as I was saying, I’m here to help. I believe in the Peter Grant method of representation. The you-have-a-venue-you-want-it-filled-I-have-just-the-band-sixty-forty method.” She said, flipping her hair into a simple bun on the top of her head, which Bucky couldn’t find more attractive if he tried, “I have made hotel arrangements for every show, I have made bus arrangements, I have planned for added shows, and delayed dates. I have brought you the best opener I have, the best artists, roadies, security, and technicians I could scrape together, and most importantly, I have given you my time and my trust. I can make your touring life as easy and as simple as humanly possible, or I could ruin it. However, all I want is to get you out there, grinding again, reminding your fans the reason they love you. All you have to do, is let me work, and focus on the music. Can we do that?”

“Doll? I like the way you think.”

“Junior? It’s gonna be a long fucking six months.”

#music #musicians #rockstar!au #rockstar #rockstar!bucky #bucky fluff #bucky imagine #bucky au #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #winter solider x you #winter solider fanfiction #steve rodgers #sam willson #tony stark #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #avengers au

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

What’s Kirsty’s relationship with Jess like? (I know you touched on it a bit in the Yale ask but I wanna know more!)

Short answer: “true friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together” meets “slow burn found family”

Long Answer: oh boy buckle up we’re getting an Outline™ bc I really don’t know how to sum it up bc it’s a lot of growth and shit!  it’s like... many many paragraphs so I’m tossing this under a cut bc i don’t want to be murdered lmao

(I’m just... v proud of how much work went into planning out their whole arc and how the dynamic shifts and how certain plots play into things and I just wanted to share it all I couldn’t chill and I’m like half sorry but thank you for this ask I love them)

So when they first meet they don’t really get along because they’re just generally both kind of abrasive and shit, like it’s not personal on either end but they both generally push people away so that they don’t open themselves up to get hurt which makes their first couple of meetings kind of rough

but then there’s the dinner at Lorelai’s and Kirsty went outside because the whole vibe was just setting her on edge, and she hears the Lorelai rant bullshit (hi lorelai he’s seventeen and your an adult grow the fuck up) and as he leaves she goes after him — she tries to apologize for “my mom being... well, the way she is” and Jess immediately snaps back that he doesn’t want her pity, and Kirsty just shrugs and goes “nah dude I get it, parents suck.  My dad is a piece of shit and my mom, well, you’ve met her... not to mention she named Rory after herself and me after my piece of shit dad so I’m sure you can guess who her favourite child is” and just keeps it very chill and Jess takes that a lot better than pity and they end up talking for a bit and are like “yeah okay I can get along with you” and like they aren’t close but they both like pissing Taylor off and giving Luke ulcers so it works well enough

Kirsty absolutely flips her shit when Taylor calls the town meeting about Jess like she tears into him more aggressively than anyone has seen before and basically tells them all to shut the fuck up and “let him at least settle in before you pull out the fucking pitchforks” and goes off on them all for trying to bully a seventeen year old kid out of a town he didn’t even choose to move to and like Luke still gets there and flips his shit too but Kirsty is completely feral calling out the hypocrisy and telling them to get off their high horses and pull their heads out of their asses — like they might not be close but Kirsty is so far beyond pissed at the idea of Taylor calling a meeting literally just to get everyone to hate Jess that she can’t just stand there quietly 

Fast forward a bit and they’re getting along a bit better, Kirsty spends so much time at the diner that she and Jess have taken to talking during Jess’ shifts and Kirsty helps out when she can so they’re starting to actually get along, Kirsty has figured out the tells for when Jess just can’t deal with people anymore and will make up all sorts of excuses to get him a break (anything from ‘hey can you read over this essay’ to ‘hey did you remember to grab that book from upstairs’ to basically anything else that comes to mind) which he appreciates and when he’s on his breaks he sits at the counter to do homework with her

By the Bracebridge dinner they’re like actually friends, and when Jess meets Tristan for the first time he’s fully prepared to hate him but when he sees how shitty Lorelai is being about Tristan he’s just like “okay guess we’re in the same boat” so the three of them end up working together to stay as far away from Lorelai as possible for most of the night and Kirsty is just very grateful for the buffer because like she just can’t deal with Lorelai and Jess remembers her comment on the “you can guess who the favourite is” and starts to see how much Lorelai’s disapproval actually bothers Kirsty

fast forward even more to Christopher coming to town and with Sherry and all that and oof Kirsty is not okay like her relationship with Christopher is terrible and Jess kind of knows this already (based on the fact that Kirsty asked Luke to stand in for her dad at the debutante ball because she wanted nothing to do with Christopher; and he’s heard her bitch about him before) but when Christopher and Sherry come to the house, Kirsty excuses herself for “dance rehearsal” and runs over to the diner and Luke is out at the moment and Kirsty is Not Okay™ and Jess is the one who sees her just standing in the doorway shaking and clearly about to start crying and he just quietly leads her up to the apartment and sits down and lets her sort of collapse on the couch and she tells him about Christopher and about how unreliable and flakey he always was and how Luke has always been more her dad than him and he always shows up and tries to play happy family and then bails as soon as he gets bored or something comes up and about how now he’s apparently changing and becoming mr family man and why wasn’t she worth changing for

and jess has no idea how to handle this whole breakdown because he's a little bit emotionally stunted (which is fair and so is she) but it definitely resonates with him and he ends up sitting next to her and telling her that if Christopher wasn’t willing to change for she and Rory then it’s because of him not her and trying to comfort her even though he really doesn’t know how, and ends up opening up to her about Liz and his life before Stars Hollow too.  It’s more than either of them have shared with anyone before and it’s very strange tbh — at this point they’re definitely veering into the friend category but neither of them would admit it, not to mention they don’t talk that often because neither of them wants to deal with a Lorelai Gilmore Hissy Fit, you know?

(also a sidenote, Tristan is completely chill about literally all of this like he and Kirsty are the healthiest relationship and have very good communication skills now and he's just like “hey I don’t live nearby and Kirsty hates cars, I’m just glad she has someone to talk to”)

and okay so now we’re at the episode where Lorelai accuses Jess of stealing the bracelet and this is just as Kirsty is getting home, and Lorelai is more of a bitch than in canon (but seriously Lorelai grow up and let Dean deal with his own relationship issues ugh) — as Jess is leaving, Kirsty turns around and calls Lorelai out on being an absolute bitch and on the fact that she’s an adult and Jess is seventeen and to grow the fuck up because she’s acting like her mother and believe it or not she doesn’t actually know everything.  Kirsty then sort of storms off, and Jess ends up walking with her and just goes “hey, thanks for that” and Kirsty goes “don’t mention it” and they just sort of laugh and part ways so she can go to Miss Patty’s but anyways I’m soft for Kirsty fighting the entire town for him

then we have the hilarious scene of Kirsty looking Dean in the eye, knowing full well that he literally just saw her getting out of Tristan’s car, and going “yes I’m completely in love with jess is that a problem” and jess going “oh Kirsty I’m really flattered but while you were gone I started talking to Paris and I think I’m in love” and they’re just such little shits I love them

and okay now I promise we’re getting close to the speedrun part of this relationship lmaooo

so Kirsty is the one who ends up tutoring Jess and like he’s not on the verge of flunking because Kirsty has already been forcing him to do his homework semi regularly but he has trouble staying on task (he’s a mood) so Kirsty is basically there to make sure that he gets all of his final projects done — they take a break to go get ice cream and the car accident happens and Kirsty gets injured and she’s having a panic attack and she begs Jess to stay with her so he does, she lies to the hospital staff and tells them that he’s her step-brother so that he can stay with her because she’s afraid of hospitals and doesn’t want to be alone.  He stays with her until they hear Lorelai and then sneaks out the window; at this point Kirsty has finally called him her friend — while high on painkillers and introducing him to Richard and Emily, who she had him call because she knew Lorelai wouldn’t (they like him much better in this !verse than canon because Kirsty knows how to play them lmao)

Lorelai still pitches a fit to Luke and Jess still leaves and jesus christ when Kirsty finds out about all of that she flips her shit even more than she did at the town meeting, calls Lorelai petty and selfish and a shit mother and tells her that she’s more like Emily than she wants to admit, and this is very possibly when Kirsty finally drops one of my favourite lines of hers — “you and Rory might be best friends first and mother daughter second but I never needed a best friend, I needed a mom.  And now I don’t want either.” — and crashes at either Luke’s or Miss Patty’s (and is not thrilled when she finds out that Lorelai called Christopher and that he’s now back and awnting to play dad again)

fast forward and Kirsty knows Jess is in New York but they haven’t talked and Sookie’s wedding happens and Kirsty and Lorelai have their huge fight (this is the other point where that favourite line might happen, I’m torn) and Kirsty packs up and moves to New York for the summer to play Victoria in Cats on Broadway

She gets to New York and she’s staying at a hotel provided by the production company and she’s lonely and miserable and she’s never really been alone before and low and behold she stumbles into some diner on the verge of tears (just a bad day and everything is too much and she’s about to break) when all of a sudden she hears “wow, deja vu.  Coffee?” and she turns around and low and behold it’s Jess Mariano.  She accepts and sits at the diner until his shift is done and then they leave together and catch up and he offers to be her tour guide, and over the next week they become really close (all of both of their coworkers think that they’re siblings at this point) and blah blah lots of details I won’t get into bc seriously how many paragraphs is this thing, but Emily and Richard end up renting Kirsty this huge penthouse apartment and she manages to convince them to let Jess live with her and they become super close and kind of codependent and skip right over the friend stage to the “this is my brother, Jess” stage lmao and basically everyone in stars hollow except for lorelai and rory (bc kirsty and lorelai aren’t talking for most of the summer and rory is in dc so she and kirsty aren’t talking much either) know because they all came out for her opening weekend and everyone thinks it’s hilarious and their new york friends think Luke is their dad bc he called them “my kids” without thinking about it

also Tristan visits as much as he can get away with and seriously he and Jess become really good friends too and they’re just like, an iconic trio okay I love them

fast forward they go back to stars hollow together the day of the summer festival thing and that’s when Lorelai and Rory find out about their friendship and Lorelai is Not Happy and then Tristan shows up and the three of them are being adorable and having a great time and Lorelai flips out and there’s yet another fight (seriously Lorelai pls stop assuming you always know best, you don’t) and the fight is angsty but there’s the softness of jess finally really accepting that Kirsty meant it when she said that things weren’t going to change when they got back to stars hollow and they don’t and it’s just great

and in season 3 they’re just still all soft and codependent and Lorelai is forced to accept that Jess knows Kirsty better than she does and Rory has some really fun “what the actual fuck” moments watching Lorelai & Luke and Kirsty & Jess have the exact same arguments because Kirsty did inherit Lorelai’s ability to annoy people into doing things like participating in town events and season 3 is just very very soft and there are so many scenes/episodes that I’m so excited for

and anyways this was so long and I’m sorry but also I’m not because like i just really love this dynamic and I want to just like skip two seasons and just write new york & season three because i love them so muchhhhhhhh and anyways yeah 

TLDR they’re a slowburn rivals to found family with a speedrun towards the end and i fucking love them so much

#ask #answered #papergirlverse #kirsty gilmore #about kirsty #kirsty x jess #but like platonic

[missperfectlyfine13]

A Bandaid For Your Bullet Hole (4/?)

Read below or on AO3

December 1997

“Come here ladybug,” Richard Beale grabs little 7 year old Chloe’s mitten covered hand as they stomp through the fresh, sparkling and very deep snow.

Chloe watches with wide eyes as her brother Jake plows through the snow, red round saucer sled in hand. It’s Chloe’s first time seeing the fluffy white precipitation. They are in Minnesota visiting her grandma and grandpa for Christmas. The moment she had looked out the window this morning her jaw had dropped to the floor. Her dad had promptly dressed her and her brother in snowsuits and boots and pulled the old sleds down from the rafters of the garage.

“Dad! Chloe! Hurry up!” Jake runs quicker towards the hill, his boots kicking up little puffs of snow.

“We’ll catch up Jake, you can go to the hill,” Richard calls to his eager 12 year old son.

When Chloe and her dad finally reach the top of the hill, Jake has already flown down the hill twice. He’s stomping up the hill when Chloe is just getting her sled situated at the top of the incline.

“Daddy…I’m scared,” the little red head girl looks up at her dad, eyes wide.

He smiles warmly at his daughter and sits down on the back of the sled, patting the space between his legs, “We’ll go down together.”

When Jake had went down the hill the first time, Chloe had watched in excitement and anticipation. She could hardly wait to go down the hill herself, but now that she’s at the top…the bottom seems so far away.

Chloe tentatively sits down at the front of the sled, grabbing the rope tightly.

“Ready Chloe?” her dad asks.

Chloe nods and before she knows it they are flying down the steep hill. The wind whips her face and snow flies up all around them. She lets out a happy squeal, this has to be the best thing she’s ever done. They finally reach the end of the hill and the sled promptly lodges into the deep snow, stopping them dead in their tracks. Chloe practically launches from the front but she couldn’t care less.

“Let’s do it again!” Chloe screams, jumping up from the little sled.

Her dad’s smile is so wide, and he stands up grabbing the sled from the snow, “As many times as you want ladybug.”

************

December 2012

Chloe stands at the top of one of the most intimidating sledding hills she’s ever seen, no less scared than her first time sledding when she was 7…maybe more scared.

Beca looks at her reassuringly, “It’s going to be fun, trust me Chlo.”  

“I feel like this isn’t even remotely safe,” Chloe mutters as she watches a child flying down the slope on an innertube, he looks like he has to be going at least going 50 mph.

“That’s what makes it fun!” Beca laughs, throwing their double innertube down on the smooth, packed down snow, “You want the back or the front?”

“Uh, the back is fine,” Chloe says shakily, crouching down to take her place.

Beca settles in the round dip in the front, nestled tightly between Chloe’s legs. For a moment Chloe forgets that she’s about to go down death mountain, too caught up in the smell of Beca’s fruity shampoo and the way the brunette feels so good leaned up against her. She suddenly feels calm, all nerves dissipated.

“Let’s do this!” Beca screeches, pushing them off with her hand.

Suddenly they are rocketing downwards, the landscape around them a complete blur. Little bits of snow and ice blow up around them as they ride. Chloe lets out a little scream of excitement as they reach their peak speed. Sooner than she’d like, they are at the bottom of the hill. Chloe can still feel the adrenaline pumping though her.

They both hop off the innertube and Beca looks at her expectantly, “So?”

“That was aca-awesome!” Chloe exclaims, eager to go to the top and back down again.

Beca smirks knowingly, “I knew you’d love it.”

************

“I’ve had a really good time today,” Chloe smiles at Beca across the little table.

Beca lowers her white Starbucks cup from her mouth and grins, “Good, I’m glad.”

After they went sledding, they went into the city to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Chloe didn’t really need to buy anything; she’d already gotten gifts for Aubrey and her brother. She didn’t have a present for Beca though, and luckily the brunette had snuck away for a half an hour, claiming she had a special mission she needed to complete. It gave Chloe the chance to pick something up for her best friend. She really wasn’t sure what to get Beca, she just hopes the other girl likes her gift.

“I don’t think I can say thank you enough times for inviting me here, it means a lot,” Chloe says genuinely.

Beca’s family has made her feel so welcome and shown her so much compassion. She hasn’t felt this happy at Christmas since before her dad died.

“I’m glad you’re here, it’s no problem. You don’t have to keep thanking me,” Beca replies sweetly, looking down at the table intently, her finger tracing the swirls of the wood.

After a few minutes Chloe decides to break the comfortable silence with a question she’s been dying ask, “So do you and your brother ever spend Christmas with your dad?”

Beca shakes her head no, “My dad gets us on Thanksgiving, my mom gets us for Christmas. My mom had insisted that’s how it goes, my dad wasn’t too happy but I’m glad that’s how it is. As you know I’m not my stepmom’s biggest fan…”

“What don’t you like about her?” Chloe knows she’s treading a thin line, Beca doesn’t like to share too much, she knows it’s hard for her, but she’d love to know.

After all that Chloe has shared, she just wants to know Beca that well too.

She can tell Beca is formulating a response, her thumbs twiddling nervously, “Ugh, I don’t know…she just isn’t very nice. When me and my brother are around, she just acts like we are a nuisance. Um, but I guess what really gets me is that she isn’t the biggest fan of…who I am.”

Chloe nods knowingly, “Ah, like because you’re bisexual?”

Beca frowns before shaking her head yes, “I brought my girlfriend to my dad’s one summer and let’s just say she had some choice words for us, about how wrong we were. My dad keeps her under control as best as he can, but she doesn’t like to hold back…I don’t know how he stays with her.”

Chloe feels unbelievably sad for the other girl. Even though her mom is a train wreck, she always accepted Chloe for who she is. No one in her family has a problem with who she loves. She just wishes it could be that way for everyone.

“I’m sorry Bec, that’s got to be really hard.”

Beca shrugs, “It’s ok, I’ve learned to just deal with it. She’s been a lot better since I started dating Jesse, except for her snide little comments about being so grateful that I’m straight now…”

Chloe feels her stomach boil with a mixture of anger at Beca’s stepmom and jealousy at the mention of Jesse, but she quickly shakes it off, “That’s really shitty of her, being with Jesse doesn’t change who you are.”

“If only she would see it that way,” Beca rolls her eyes, “at least my mom and stepdad have always been ok with everything.”

“I just wish that no one had to deal with people like your stepmom, it just makes me sad, my mom has never cared about me liking girls, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t either if he were around,” Chloe shakes her head.

“I’m glad you understand this stuff, I’ve never had friends that could relate to me like this,” Beca confesses quietly.

The statement makes Chloe beam, “I’m glad I have you too.”

************

Chloe flies forward, her heart racing. She tries to catch her breath, but it’s so hard, she hasn’t had a nightmare like that in a long time. Luckily, she didn’t seem to wake up Beca, who is still snoring, sleeping soundly next to her.

It’s the same nightmare every time, it’s always her mom, lying on the sofa limply, a horrific reenactment of what she walked in on 3 years ago. They always seem to happen again around Christmas, for obvious reason.

Chloe slides around, letting her feet hit the cold hardwood flooring. She needs some water. When she gets down to the kitchen, she’s surprised to see she’s not the only person there. Beca’s mom is sitting at the island countertop, Christmas cookie in hand, fluffy robe on and hair tied in a knot on the top of her head.

“Chloe,” the older woman’s eyes flit upwards as Chloe enters the kitchen, “you’re still up?”

“I just needed some water,” Chloe grabs a glass from the cupboard, “what are you doing up still?”

She looks over at the clock on the stove, it’s nearly 2 in the morning.

“Ethan couldn’t sleep, he insisted on sleeping in my bed. I finally got him down, but I worked up a little appetite,” Beca’s mom grins, waving the little gingerbread man in the air.

Chloe fills her glass with water and takes a few large gulps. She’s finally stopped shaking from her nightmare, she hopes she didn’t look too frazzled when she walked in.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s going on with you and Beca?” the older woman asks so nonchalantly, but it practically makes Chloe choke.

“Nothing…I mean we’re friends, good friends,” Chloe rambles, trying not to freak.

“Ok, if you say so,” she smirks, “but I see how you two look at each other.”

“What?” Chloe can’t help the knee jerk reaction, “Beca doesn’t like me…”

“I know what it looks like when my daughter likes someone, she may be with that guy, but she feels something for you, I just know it.”

Her words swirl around in Chloe’s head viciously, her stomach fluttering. She can’t be right, Beca likes Jesse. Though the little glimmer of hope has her heart ablaze.

“Really?” Chloe asks in disbelief.

The older woman nods, “Something about that look on your face tells me you might like her too…”

Chloe can’t help the rosy blush that spreads across her face.

“Wait for her Chloe, she’ll come around,” she pops the last bit of cookie into her mouth before hopping off the stool and back towards the stairs.

Chloe finishes her glass of water and heads back upstairs. She’s not sure how long she lies there before she falls asleep, she just can’t shut her mind off. The idea of Beca liking her back is just too much…

************

Beca and Chloe lounge on the plush sofa in the living room, stomachs full from their Christmas dinner. She can still hear the majority of Beca’s family laughing and chatting in the large dining room. The two had snuck away after their plates were clear to get a good spot to sit. The large home is filled to the brim with family. It’s so warm, happy and rather exciting. This Christmas has been a dream, it’s sad to think it’s almost over.

“Hey,” Beca pokes her in the arm.

Chloe turns to look at her, “What?”

“Follow me,” Beca manages to push herself off the sofa.

Chloe is surprised she can follow suit with how full she feels, “Where are we going?”

“I just want to give you something,” Beca leads them to the back of the house, near the patio doors leading out to the backyard, which is covered in snow and warm lights.

They stop right at the doors, seemingly far away from all of the commotion. Although she can still faintly hear Beca’s Uncle Jerry bellowing loudly, he kind of reminds her of Santa.

Beca pulls a small, neatly wrapped box from her pocket, the little silver bow isn’t even crushed, despite being in Beca’s pocket seemingly all day, “Merry Christmas Chloe.”

Chloe gladly accepts the box with a smile on her face, “Bec, you didn’t have to.”

“Hey, everyone should have something to open on Christmas,” Beca shrugs her shoulders.

Chloe quickly pulls the wrapping away to reveal a small red jewelry box. Inside is a delicate silver necklace, a dainty ladybug charm hanging from the chain. She gasps at the thoughtful gift.

“Oh my god, Beca, I love it,” she says in awe, pulling it from the box, “how did you know?”

“You’ve got that tattoo on your wrist, I thought you must just really love them,” Beca replies quietly, “I honestly was just hoping it wasn’t stupid.”

“It isn’t stupid, it’s amazing…I have that tattoo because ladybug is what my dad used to call me,” Chloe clasps the necklace on, running her fingers over it, “this means so much.”

“Oh wow, guess it was a good choice then,” the brunette smiles wildly, clearly happy with the effect her gift had.

“I have something for you too, but I have to go get it,” Chloe chose to wear a dress and doesn’t have the novelty of pockets, like Beca did.

Chloe hurries up to Beca’s room and grabs the slim box from her bag. She practically sprints back downstairs to where Beca is still patiently waiting. Chloe extends the little box out to her best friend, who eagerly takes it from her.

Beca rips the wrapping off, excited to get into the gift, she gasps when she pulls out a little white box, containing a brand new iPod, the surprised look on the brunette’s face is priceless, “Chloe this is great!”

“I noticed yours is kind of old and beat up and I know how much you love music.”

“This had to cost a fortune…you shouldn’t have,” Beca is still grinning from ear to ear, but she sounds concerned.

Chloe shakes her head, “It wasn’t that bad, don’t worry about it, just enjoy it.”

“I will, thank you Chlo,” Beca replies quietly.

Chloe’s eyes drift out the door, a light snow is falling. If Chloe is being quite honest, she hasn’t had her fill of it yet. She wants nothing more than to go outside and soak up the gentle precipitation.

Beca follows her gaze and grins, “You wanna get some fresh air?”

“Yes,” Chloe answers a little too excitedly, earning a chuckle from Beca.

The two grab their coats and quietly slip out into the dark backyard. The only light illuminating the large yard is the soft, colored Christmas lights hanging from the pine trees.

“This is the best Christmas I’ve had in a very long time,” Chloe genuinely confesses.

“I’m glad you accepted my offer to come then,” Beca stuffs her hands into her pockets, it’s a little colder than she had assumed, “you deserve to have a good Christmas, even if it can’t be with your family.”

“The Bellas are my family, you’re my family,” Chloe blurts out, maybe a little too forcefully, “so I am with my family today.”

“I kind of wish the rest of them were here…isn’t that a little crazy?” Beca asks almost in disbelief, like she can’t comprehend that those girls mean that much to her.  

Chloe shakes her head no, “Of course not, it would be nice.”

Although Chloe selfishly is glad that it’s just her and Beca. All this time alone with the younger girl has been amazing…and probably isn’t doing anything to help Chloe’s raging toner for her.

“It’s pretty cold out here, want to go back inside?” Beca motions to the patio door.

Chloe nods, it is really cold, “Yea let’s go.”

The two stop in the entry way to hang their coats on the hall tree. Beca’s baby brother Ethan is sitting on the floor, rolling around a brand-new fire truck. His eyes bounce up to the older girls and he smiles a toothy grin at the two.

“Kiss! You hafta kiss now!” he giggles pointing at his half-sister and her best friend.

Beca’s cheeks turn 20 different shades of red and Chloe feels a chill run down her spine, what is this kid talking about?

The babbling 4-year-old points at the ceiling above them, where a strategically placed bundle of mistletoe has been hung. The little boy has been hanging out in the hallway all day waiting for his next victims, after his mom had explained what the decoration meant.

Recognition flashes across the brunette’s face when she looks up.

“We can’t ignore tradition Bec,” Chloe says cheekily, knowing that she’s pushing the boundaries.

To her surprised Beca shrugs in agreement, “You’re right.”

Chloe’s heart beats wildly as Beca starts to lean in, but to her immense disappointment, Beca goes past her lips and plants a soft kiss on her rosy cheek. Even though she would have preferred a kiss on the lips…her cheek still burns where Beca’s lips landed. The act did nothing to calm her racing heart.

Chloe leans over and returns the favor, letting her lips linger maybe a bit too long on the soft skin of the younger girl’s face, “Merry Christmas Beca.”

When she pulls away, Beca is blushing slightly, but she quickly plays it off, “Merry Christmas Chloe.”

The two barely notice Ethan, who is clapping loudly and squealing excitedly that he got two people to actually play along. What no one sees though, is Beca’s mom who is watching from down the hall, with a cheeky, knowing grin spread across her face…

#bechloe fanfic #pp fanfic #bechloe #my stuff

[forgadgetsandgizmos]

Malex Drabble

* *

No one had seen Alex in three days. 

Which, okay, he left town frequently enough for the Air Force that it could be no big deal. But ever since Alex spent a week in a basement because everyone, including Michael, thought he was at a recruitment job out of town, Alex checked in when he left. Usually with Michael. And Alex hadn’t told Michael that he was planning on leaving, much less checked in.

Michael should’ve let it go. No one else is worried, there’s no dangers around, no lingering threat that could result in Alex being missing or worse. But Michael couldn’t shake the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

And he kept circling back to Alex hadn’t told him that he was leaving.

Which is how he ended up here, standing in Alex’s driveway and staring at the old Christmas lights still dangling from the porch, trying to shake off his paranoia without invading his friend’s private space.

On second thought, that’s exactly what he did last time and he turned out to be right. He started for the door. The game plan that time around had been Find Alex, and okay, it was the same here. Whatever, it was a good plan. At least this time he knows where the spare key is kept.

Michael jogged the last couple steps up to Alex’s front door and knocked loudly. “Alex?”

No response. He stood on his toes to peer inside through the glass in the top of the door. From what he could see, none of the lights were on and no one was moving around inside.

“Alex, I’m worried about you,” he tried. He knocked on the door a few more times. “If you don’t answer, I’m coming in. He backed away to dig the key out of a bottle buried nearby. “Using the spare key,” he added. If Alex was inside, it probably wouldn’t be helpful if he thought Michael was going to telekinetically break his lock.

When he was met with more silence, Michael unlocked the door and took a hesitant step in.

“Alex?”

He made his way around the house. The kitchen held a small pile of take out bags and dirty, plastic containers. Alex was here then, and eating. That was always good, Michael acknowledged.

He walked over to Alex’s bedroom door and knocked quietly, cracking open the door as he did and poking his head inside. A blindness darkness greeted him.

Michael blinked quickly, trying to help his eyes adjust as he took in the room. Heavy, drawn curtains blocked any light from the windows. Two large, empty bottles sat on the bedside table closest to the door. It was too dark to be sure, but the thin, tall neck made Michael think it was tequila. The bed held a pile of blankets surrounding a curled up figure in the center.

Michael let out a breath, his shoulders slumping.

“Alex, it’s me. Can I come in?”

He received a faint humm in response.

Taking that as a yes, Michael slipped into the room and shut the door behind him, careful not to make any loud noises. He slowly inched closer to the bed Alex had buried himself in. He wasn’t sure what the protocol here was. Alex was physically fine; Michael could see enough to make out the movement of the blankets from Alex breathing. Strands of hair peeked out of the fuzz pile and the sunlight in the hall shined back at him from Alex’s prosthetic where it was laying on the floor near the bed.

But Alex obviously wasn’t fine. From what Michael had seen, Alex had apparently spent the past three days of avoiding his friends in bed, ordering takeout, and day-drinking. While Michael may not have much experience with avoiding worried friends, he did have a decade spent deep-diving into a bottle or three in his belt, and multiple empty maybe-tequila bottles did not equal fine.

“Alex, what’s going on,” Michael whispered. He sat on the edge of the bed with one leg still on the floor, hand hovering over Alex’s body as he waited for a response.

After a few seconds, Alex reached a hand out of his pile and pulled the blanket closest to him tightly, framing his face.

“What are you doing here,” he croaked out, eyes still closed.

“I was worried about you. You haven’t responded to me or anyone else in three days.”

“I’m fine.”

Michael caught the blanket before Alex could pull it back over his head. “I see that,” he noted dryly.

Alex huffed and opened his eyes. “I am. You can go now.”

“Not until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding everyone in favor of alcohol and shitty take-out.” Michael kicked off his shoes and crawled over Alex onto the bed. He leaned against the headboard and closed his eyes. “I can sit here all day.”

He opened one eye to see Alex glaring up at him. “I’ll just listen,” Michael offered.

Another huff.

Michael closed his eye again and waited. A minute or two later, he felt the mattress moving under him. He opened both eyes to see Alex sitting up beside him and offered him a smile.

Alex’s lips twitched in response and Michael felt his own widen to a grin.

Michael waited patiently beside him.

“I got a phone call,” Alex started. His eyes stayed fixed on the floor well-away from Michael as he spoke. “I loved being in my squadron. Some of the guys were family in a way I hadn’t had before, you know?”

Loved. Were. Michael stopped smiling.

“Flint and Clay always felt really distant. When I was a kid, I thought it was because they remember Mom. And I love Gregory, but we weren’t super close as kids.”

And Flint and Clay were two peas in a Jesse-spawn pod, Michael wanted to add.

“We has to be together all the time, we didn’t have a choice but to get close. There were four of us that were,” Alex tutted, searching for the word. “I don’t know. Saying brothers feels weird considering my real brothers.”

“I get it,” Michael said softly. He and Max and Isobel, they weren’t actually siblings. But Max and Iz were so important to him, to his life on Earth, and to his past, that calling them brother and sister felt inadequate. “They were real. What brothers should be.”

Alex nodded. “Besides me, it was Hunter, Jamie, and Patrick. Hunter and Jamie died in the same explosion that blew off my leg. Which. . . sucked. But Patrick was okay. He stayed with me as long as he could in the hospital in Germany. He missed their funerals to stay with me.” He took a steadying breath. “He had to ship out eventually. He was assigned a new unit and left for an eight month tour about six months ago.”

Alex looked up to meet Michael’s eyes. He schooled his face, trying to project a sense of calmness and security. He just hoped that the grief and pain and mourning he saw in Alex’s eyes wasn’t echoed in his own.

When Alex spoke again, it was so soft Michael had too strain to make out the words. “Patrick’s new unit chief called three days ago. He - he’s dead.” Alex voice shook as he choked back a sob and leaned into Michael.

Michael gripped Alex tightly and pressed his lips to his forehead. Michael didn’t - he couldn’t comfort this. He had lost a whole world. . . but he hadn’t know them. He lost his mom but, so had Alex. She might not technically be dead, but she had left when he was so young and stayed gone so long that she might as well be. The only think Michael had to compare was Isobel and Max and if he lost them. . . well. He’s sure he would be in the drunk tank in a lot worse shape than this.

“Alex,” Michael said softly, turning to press his cheek against Alex’s head, “When I was a kid, I spent years imaging what it would be like to lose Max and Isobel, either when they got sick of me and left or if they got caught and were killed. I planned out how to be alone, as much as it killed me to admit that, since that implies I wasn’t alone with them,” he chucked lowly.

Michael buried his free hand in Alex’s hair, letting the soft, dark strands run through his fingers. Alex stayed quiet. “I stopped because I met someone who was different. He treated me the same way Max and Iz did and no one had ever done that before. In my experience, people weren’t just nice for no reason. Even Max and Iz treated me like they did because they viewed me as their brother. And this guy, I could never seem to drive him away. And I certainly tried my best,” he admitted, “especially after graduation. He was the fucking sun and he made me realize that I wasn’t better than everyone else. It kinda opened up my world.”

Alex stirred at that. “Life isn’t a rom-com, Michael.”

“Okay, but it is a telenovela. I mean hello, alien from outer space here.”

Underneath him, Alex made a sound that reminded him a baby whining.

“You interrupted. There was more,” Michael chided jokingly. He gave Alex a light flick on the head. “I would still fall apart if I lost Max and Iz. That hasn’t changed. But I would want to keep on going now. Because of you. And you don’t have to get over this or be okay because of me, that’s not what I’m saying-“

“Michael.”

Michael shut up. “Sorry,” he murmured.

Alex finally moved from his half-laying down, half-sitting up position and looked at Michael. “I get it.”

“You do?”

“I do.” Alex smiled sadly at him and let his hand hover over the side of Michael’s face. “Thank you.”

Michael’s eyes lightened. “Thank you,” he returned. They were words he’s been waiting to say to Alex for over a decade. Since they were seventeen and stupid in love. He owes Alex so much.

They weren’t seventeen anymore. Picking a place to make-out that wasn’t the pickup of Michael’s truck was no longer their biggest hurdle. Now, that would have to be a toss up between the giant government conspiracy, the alien-DNA-targeting-bomb, and the various murders him and his siblings were hiding.

No, they definitely weren’t seventeen anymore. But as Alex curdled back up under his blanket mound and buried himself into Michael’s side, Michael knew that, for him, that was the only thing that had changed.

#roswell new mexico #roswellnm #Malex #alex manes #michael guerin #fic #malex fic #rnm #I'm very hopeful for the season 2 finale #but this is admittingly unrealistic #ao3 #my writing #alicewrites

[pbandjesse]

Today was such a good day that my post is much later than normal because we were to busy having fun. Its rainy now and Im trying to wind down. But it is hard. Im just in a really good mood. 

I didnt sleep great last night. And I honestly woke up not feeling very good. I just felt sort of off centered. But I knew Jess was here, and shes an early riser. And with James waking up super early now Im sure he woke her up a bit. But even if I wasnt in the best space I knew I had to get up. We had lots of plans. 

And it was a great day. I got up and got dressed and tried my best to shake off the bad feelings. I took a dayquil and it helped by head but my belly was sort of weird all day. James made us biscuits and after I got dressed I had one of those and it was really good. I missed James's biscuits. 

I felt so stinking cute today. It was a really high self esteem day. And Jess looked so cute too! We were just adorable together. 

We had our breakfast and wasted a little time until it made sense to leave for Joanns. Jess decided to drive today because it was going to be rainy tomorrow so I will drive then. It was nice just being out with my best friend. 

First stop was Joanns for tye dye. I wanted to try this tye dye with black and Im hoping it doesnt overwhelm my other colors. But it was a lot of fun running around the store and finding sales for embroidery hoops and looking for the best dyes. We also just touched all the yarn and talked about projects and it was a good time. 

We had to waste enough time there that we werent waiting for Savers across the street to open. And we ended up taking just enough time and were over at the thrift store only a couple minutes after they opened and that was pretty cool. 

The big look for the day was something for me to tye dye. No luck at savers though. I was also looking for a basket for our bathroom that would fit on the ledge over our shower wall. No luck at savers either. But I did get some other great stuff. I got another skirt over all. One that actually fits me, as my other ones have gotten a little to small. I also got a button up dress I love. And some shirts for James. I also got a printed fleece and Im super excited about it because its thinner then my others but still very soft. I have been looking for a printed vintagey looking fleece but they are very in right now so its all expensive on ebay. But I found one in the men's pj section and Im super excited about it. 

It was funny though, when me and Jess were looking at dresses there were some workers there discussing the resale value of some dresses and it was super annoying to hear this person talk about what you can get something for. Stop pricing out thrift stores!! It is so obnoxious. The fun and the value in thrift stores is that you find gems for cheap. Stop pricing things based on labels!! Its such a pet peeve of mine. You got this stuff for free stop being shitty. 

But I still had a lot of fun, even if we have no self control when were together. We spent to much monies. But It was a good time. 

We went and got lunch next. With a pit stop to look at the ross to see if there was a tye dye able thing. No luck. We stopped for hair dye too since this color came out so nice, so I got a new one for next time. And then lunch. 

We got five guys. And we got our sandwiches with only good natured bullying from the cashier about our order. It was pretty funny. And I was just in a good mood. 

We had a car picnic. Talked about life. Listened to music. Complained about how our fries werent spicy.  And then we were off again. 

Next to the goodwill. Much better tye dye luck!! I found a creamy colored button down dress. And some things for Jess that Im just really excited to see what she does with. I found baskets!! The one was perfect but had no tag and I decided to take it to the cashier just so no one else would be disappointed. But then she was like. I can price this for you! And I looked at Jess like. What the fuck! Because I have literally been yelled at by cashiers at goodwill over tags!! This lady was amazing and I am so excited about it. So I got the perfect basket that is the perfect size for $4. Amazing. Incredible. So pleased. 

It was time to go home though. We got back here around 1. And had about an hour to put everything away. Take off tags. Take a breather. We sat on the bed and looked at a sustainable online shop together. And then it was time to get sweetP in his carrier to go to the follow up vet appointment. 

Which went fine. We got out there in one piece. We were a little early but they took him back and said it would be about a half hour and we could go to whole foods while we waited. 

So that is what we did. We got snacks for us and for James. I got 2 juices so I can have one tomorrow. Had a nice chat with the cashier about the cake we got. And then back to the vet. 

Sweetp did very good. Got all his tests and things. But again the bill was twice what I thought it was. So this whole thing has cost almost a grand and Im trying very hard no to be really upset. And just be happy I have a job and can deal with it. Its just. A lot. But I am glad sweetP will be okay. 

So we went home. And tried to keep the good energy flowing. 

We had out snack. Got sweetP treats too. And got to work figuring out tye dye. We watched some videos and made a plan. Jess was laughing at me when I brought out James's broken bike wheel to use as a drain rack over some bowels but it totally worked. I was a little bit of a director making a video well finish tomorrow. And it was just a blast. Like I said I made mine pretty dark. But I think it will come out cool. And if its to dark I will do the bleach dying over that and keep playing with it. It's all good. It was honestly just a blast doing this project together and Im excited to see what happens. 

Once we finished that we spent a few hours playing animal crossing next to each other. The snow is finally gone on our islands so we just worked on taking down the snow based things and moving stuff around. It was a lot of fun just being together. James made us pizza. And eventually I brought out the crayola crayons I brought from my parents and we went through them to find discontinued color names because Jess collects them and it was so much fun. We ended up find a resource that had all the 900+ colors and we started making lists and reading things and just sunk so much time into this silly fun project and I felt like I was in grad school researching again and it was so much fun. I just feel really happy. 

But we were all tired. James had been playing video games and music and spending some of the night with us. But they work such long days, so they are asleep next to me now. Love them so much. Trying very hard to write the correct pronouns, but its hard to rewire. I will keep trying because I love my James so much. 

We all decided it was bed time. Wind down time. I went and got a shower. Bumped my piercing pretty hard so now its bothering me. I tried on all my new clothes and Im so pleased. And now I am in bed and very sleepy. I hope I can just fall asleep easy and tomorrow I will feel great. 

We are going to a mall together. So weird. I hope its just a fun day and we finish our tye dye and we just feel happy. And I hope you do too! Goodnight my friends!! Be safe out there! 

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XLIII

Chapter Forty Three: Don’t Tell ‘Em

 Summary: Fast forward a year to June 2023 and It’s Bachelor Party time.

Warning: There’s a little bit more angst in this one than the last chapter but it’s still just for fun.

 Author’s Note: I’m going to try to have the rest of this series done in the next week or so but who knows, really, when they’ll be all finished. Keep in mind, even though I only put it at the start of the chapter, the whole thing is from Tyler’s perspective. Hopefully, that’s clear! Enjoy 😊

 Song Credit: Don’t Tell ‘Em -- Jeremih & YG

 masterlist

 the other masterlist

xx

Tyler’s P.O.V

  You wanted to stay in Dallas for your Bachelor Party because you didn’t want to have anything too crazy and the guys seemed to go along with it.

  “She had fun in Vegas huh?” Jesse laughed

  “She did. I’m glad she was able to let loose,” you smirked, “even just for one day”

  “She does seem a little tightly wound most of the time” Mike added, laughing to himself

  “Come on dude...” you scoffed

  “Am I wrong?” Mike scoffed, “I mean, come on, every time we hang out with her, she barely says a word.”

  “She’s a little shy, that doesn’t make her tightly wound” you answered before moving from the patio to the pool

  “She’s always silently judging us” Mike replied

  “No she’s not,” Jesse interjected, “you, maybe. The rest of us? Not so much”

  “Very funny” Mike chided

  “She’s a nice girl and I think she can smell the sleaze on you a mile away. So she stays away.” Jesse continued while you jumped in the pool; the dogs following quickly behind

  “All I’m saying is she doesn’t seem to... connect with us the way that you try to connect with her friends”

  “Mike,” you yelled, “stop. She tries to connect with everyone but she stays in contact with the people she feels comfortable with. You’re just not one of them”

  “I should be. I’m one of your best friends”

  “Stop whining!” Rads finally spoke up from where he sat near the grill, “you sound like a baby.” You laughed, tossing Gerry’s ball to the other end of the pool so he would chase it

  “Is that your problem with her?” you asked, climbing out of the pool, “that she doesn’t think you’re the shit?”

  “I AM THE SHIT!” Mike yelled back and the guys just laughed

  “Whatever,” you smirked, “I’m having the party here. (Y/N)’s back in Calgary to spend a little bit more time with Chris and Karen before the wedding. As long as nothing gets broken, everything is fine”

  “There’s no guarantee that nothing will get broken” Jesse joked

  “Well... try...” you smiled..

xx

  Jamie started setting up stuff for the party while you called (Y/N) to check in

  “How’s everything?” she asked

  “Good. I had a bit of a.. disagreement with Mike yesterday but it was dealt with,” you answered, “so we’re good”

  “Is he going to be a problem tonight?”

  “Not for me. He might be a problem for himself”

  “Right..” she hesitated, “I guess what I meant was is he going to cause problems for you...?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Don’t make me say it...”

  “Say what?”

  “Tyler...”

  “I honestly don’t know what you mean. I can take care of myself?” you questioned

  “Is he going to be inviting girls over and try to get you to.. do stuff?”

  “I can’t say he won’t,” you admitted, “but that doesn’t mean I’ll do anything. I love you. I’m marrying you. I don’t want any other girl.” You heard her sigh and you hoped it was out of relief

  “Okay. That makes me feel better.” You could hear the smile on her face but you had to make sure she knew,

  “There will be strippers though...”

  “I would hope so.” She laughed and you told her she had nothing to worry about before Jamie called you to help him with something

  “I should probably go”

  “Okay, love you!”

  “Love you!” You hung up the phone and wandered over to where Jamie was, laughing at the decorations he had put up

  “What?” he asked, turning his head when he heard your laugh

  “What is this?”

  “It’s a sign” he answered sarcastically

  “We don’t need that.”

  “Don’t need it or you don’t want it?”

  “Both? It’s just a party and I happen to be getting married...”

  “It’s a little more than just a regular party”

  “Yeah, maybe,” you answered, “but the point of having it here was to make it more... normal?”

  “Normal?”

  “You know.. like not themed or not a huge deal. Not about me. I have parties here all the time. This is just another party.”

  “Alright. If you say so,” he replied, “I’ll take down the sign.” Jamie did just that and you gave him an exaggerated thumbs up as you headed into the kitchen to grab your keys off the counter.

  “I’m going to pick up some stuff, need anything?”

  “GET SOME CHIPS!” he yelled to you

  “Okay!” you returned, leaving the house. While you were out, you suspected that the guys would cram in and have the house packed and music blaring by the time you got back. Sure enough, you pulled into your driveway to your door open, the music vibrating through your car and people piling inside.

  “THERE HE IS!” Jesse yelled when you walked through the door, “the guest of ‘Honour.’ Our favourite bachelor.”

  “Looks like you guys have been having a lot of fun already” you joked

  “You need a drink” Jesse said, directing you to the kitchen before taking you to play Beer Pong. It didn’t take you long to feel the effects of the alcohol and when Mike brought over a group of girls, who you swore were College freshmen, you turned back to your old self; flirting recklessly and draping your arms around each girl.

  “STRIPPERS ARE HERE!” Mike yelled when he noticed two women in uniform walk into the house. They sat you down in your living room and began their routine while your friends fed you drinks; by the time the girls were done, you were falling over your chair and your own feet when you finally stood up. It didn’t stop Mike, though, from getting the girls to grind on you while he took video of it.

  “You’re actually getting married?” the girl asked

  “Yeah” you slurred

  “Why?” she asked, leaning her head back to fall on your shoulder

  “Because she’s got him whipped” Mike laughed and the girls around you laughed

  “Because I love her” you corrected

  “And because you’re whipped”

  “Shut the fuck up, Mike” you looked up at him as he continued to film and the girl continued to dance on you

  “There’s nothing wrong with a little whipping,” he laughed, “as long as you’re able to whip back.”

 “You know, you run your mouth a lot, Seander,” you argued, finally moving away from the girl in front of you, “but you’re just a sad, little boy who can’t find someone to love him”

  “Oh is that right?”

  “Yeah that’s right!”

  “Okay, boys, calm down” Jamie tried separated you two, feeling the fight coming on

  ��No, let him finish, Jamie” Mike yelled, slurring his words

  “Tyler don’t” Jamie pleaded

  “You’re a lonely, pathetic, fuckboy who can’t commit to one girl so you stoop to hooking up with girls almost half your age. Basically, you’re bordering statutory rape charges all for a good time”

  “And you’re a scared athlete who’s worried that no one will fuck him when his career is over that you’re marrying some bitch who judges every one around him”

  “I swear to fucking god, Mike, you say one more shitty thing about my fiancée and I’ll throw you into the window,” you seethed, barely noticing the circle of people forming around you and Mike, “you’re the only person she judges because she see’s right through you”

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “You’re never gonna grow up. You’re gonna be 80 years old and reliving ‘the glory days’ when girls actually wanted to suck your dick and get drunk with you. You’re gonna be a has-been before you’re 50. She see’s that and I see it too b--” Before you were able to finish your thought, his fist connected with your face and you stumbled backward for a second before launching forward and punching him in the jaw; starting a full on brawl that lasted somewhere between 10 and 20 minutes before you were pulled apart.

  “We’re done!” Mike yelled, “we’re over! You finally made the choice to end us!”

  “Whatever Mike,” you shouted back, “Walk away!” you turned and started toward your room, hearing footprints follow behind you

  “You’re gonna regret this!” he called after you and you couldn’t tell, really, what he was referring to but you couldn’t focus on it too much because you were starting to feel really tired; you fumbled with your phone when you sat down on your bed

  “Maybe you shouldn’t be calling anyone right now” a voice said, taking your phone from your hands

  “I just wanted to text her” you whined, looking for the face that went along with the voice

  “Don’t think that’s such a good idea either” she laughed and you finally found her. The girl from the kitchen who had been dancing on you before your fight with Mike

  “What are you doing in here?”

  “I brought you some ice” she admitted, sitting close to you to put the ice on your eye

  “Thanks” you whispered, thinking you’d take the ice away from you but you let her hold it there.

  “How are you feeling? That fight was pretty bad. Guess your girl doesn’t like your best friend?”

  “They’re just... different people”

  “You sure you wanna be with someone who’s so different from the people in your life?”

  “I love her”

  “Do you?” she asked, leaning forward slightly and you furrowed your brow

  “Where’s my phone?” you snapped, taking the bag of ice from her and pulling away from her

  “Here” she said, handing it to you and you sent (Y/N) an almost ineligible text

  “I miss you“ you started

  “Having fun?” she replied

  “Don’t want the fighting because I miss you”

  “What?”

  “He left and we fought and now dhevb bia nw”

  “Tyler, baby, I love you. but I think you should put the phone away and get some sleep.” You finished reading her text just as the girl took it back from you, making sure to send a quick reply before setting the phone aside

  “I love you” the message read and she knelt down in front of you to take the ice bag away

  “I love her”

  “Okay” she said, taking your shoes off before moving her hands up your thighs

  “I’m marrying her” you continued as her body connected closely to yours

  “I know” her eyes met yours and her hands circled around your neck and you reluctantly breathed across the skin on her neck

  “I want to marry her” the words were smothered by this girls lips connecting with yours. It was the last thing you remember and you hoped that it was all that happened.

#Tyler Seguin #Tyler Seguin imagine #Tyler Seguin fic #Tyler Seguin series #NHL #NHL imagine #NHL fic #NHL series #Dallas Stars #Dallas Stars fic #dallas stars imagine #Dallas Stars series #masterlist #the other masterlist #It Had To Be You #It Had To Be You series

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 70

It’s extremely difficult to get through to a child who has been beaten down, with fists AND words, to have a healthy understanding of how much worth they have in their family/community. That made the questions I had for Lydia about her mother and her mother’s role as Alpha damn near impossible to answer. Not that I stopped trying.

“Come on,” I took the keys down from the hook near the exit, unlocking Henry’s door first. “If you two so much as twitch and make me THINK you’re going to run, I’ll fucking make sure that running is the last thing either of you can do for the foreseeable future, understood?” I am forever shocked at how formidable I can sound standing at barely five foot tall, but watching Henry nod and swallow hard enough for me to hear it confirmed that he took my threat as seriously as I meant it.

Unlocking Lydia’s, I stood back and waited for her to exit. Before she could turn toward me, the main door opened and Daryl stood blocking the sunlight. Well played, I smiled up at him. “Taking ‘em for a walk?” I nodded and he stood back, waiting for our charges to join him outside.

This time, since he’d been listening to my issues with the current line of questioning, we worked in tandem. Trying to gather intelligence on how important Lydia was to her people, her mother, and their plans I let Daryl discuss it with her. Henry and I were, well Henry was moral support, I was a tagalong that wanted to tag my ass back home.

 I should have known, as the day grew longer, that my visit wouldn’t end happily. There was never a day that ended away from the relative safety of my own four walls that didn’t end covered in horseshit and sadness. Eventually, anyway.

I was inside, sitting with Tara, listening to her telling me all the reasons she didn’t want to lead Hilltop and was ill equipped for it reminded me of how Dad had felt so many different times over the years.

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?” She was staring at me like I’d grown a third head. And my smile grew.

“People who want to lead are usually ill suited for it, Tara, it’s the people who are forced to lead and do it reluctantly that are best at it.” I shook my head and then my smile dropped when we heard a commotion start outside. “What was that?”

That, it turned out, was Lydia’s people. Her mother, actually, since Alpha was the one who actually spoke. I stood beside Tara, looking down at the crowd of people who looked far more like walkers than humans, staring up at us as this lump of a woman demanded her daughter be returned to them. That they have two of ours, a man named Luke and Alden the blacksmith apprentice. A baby cried, and I felt my heart stop beating in my chest as Alpha mentions that we are all animals, and animals have babies. As the child cries, she demands its mother leave it, since it will draw the walkers and danger. Without hesitation, the woman does. My heart stops, seeing this person sit this completely innocent and fragile infant down and walk away.

The tears fell quietly from my eyes, even as the tiny infant’s arms waved, as its pitiful screams grew, and I felt the breath leave my body. Chaos, the cries, the mass of Alpha’s people, Daryl, walkers, Lydia- If I was asked later, and Negan did, I couldn’t say how long it took. Hours, minutes, days? I had no idea. Forever. No time.

I know that Lydia was greeted with a sharp slap by her mother. I know that Alden and Luke were back among our people. The baby, the tiny infant that was left to die as a distraction for beasts, was saved by one of the people that Judith rescued. Connie, a deaf woman, a woman who offered this baby to me as a gift as though someone told her that I would want it, that I would welcome it. I look at it like someone would look at poison ivy or the plague. Or I did if the look she gave me was any indication.

“She meant no harm, Jessi.” Daryl offered, standing next to me as I was preparing to take my leave the next day. Danger or no, I wanted to be home. I didn’t look at him, I didn’t dare. “Everyone knows-”

“That I’m broken?” I snorted, shaking my head and tightening the saddle on my horse. “Giving me a random baby because its mother is a genetic fucking asshole isn’t going to fix my broken uterus, Daryl Dixon.” I checked and double checked the saddle, I wanted nothing to slow my trip. “Can you hand me that-” I pointed at my bag and my bow. “The quiver is leaning next to-”

“The table, I got it.” He handed me each in turn. “No one said she was gonna fix ya, Jess.” He was careful not to touch my skin, remembering at least that much about my twitchy little self. “Can’t help but see how much it hurt ya to see-”

I laughed hard then, without a fucking hint of humor. “What fucking asshole wasn’t hurt to see it?” My eyes met his then, hot and hard. “Seriously? They left a BABY to fucking die, Daryl. RIGHT fucking there, daring us to watch.” I pointed, like he hadn’t bore witness too. “I CRIED. So fucking what?” I shook my head and after securing my bags, hooking my bow over the saddle horn, and getting situated myself, I put my quiver within easy reach. “I’m going home. Where people don’t usually randomly hand me infants as parting gifts.” I waved and headed out. Hoping like fuck I was finished with my part in this madness for a long while.

 I wasn’t home for more than a few hours, I fucking swear, when the entire bullshit showed up on my FUCKING doorstep. I wish I was joking. I truly do. I really truly do.

Teenagers. I swear, my dad got off so lucky with me. He might have teased that I had horrendous taste in the guys I dated, and I did, to be fair, but I wish he was around so I could point at Henry and go “REALLY?!”

First of all, he had ‘runaway’ with Lydia during her mother’s demands for her return at Hilltop. Then, once they were found, Lydia returned to her rightful place which I might remind everyone Daryl and I were NOT happy about, he decided to pretend that he was a knight in shining armor and go after her. I swear to GOD, someone (looking at you Carol) had better have a fucking conversation with Ezekiel about these grandiose ideas before they get someone fucking killed.

Which leads me to my doorstep. Or Alexandria’s gate. Daryl, Lydia, Connie (of the ‘here’s your new baby’ variety), and Henry (I came to rescue you m’lady, and oops I have a boo boo) all waiting at the gate. I was only excited to see Dog. And so was Mom.

 I was with Negan, who was listening to me as I railed against the entire fucking last hours of my visit to Hilltop, when Judith came to let me know we had visitors-AGAIN. Ugh.

“Go see,” Negan said, kissing my temple through the bars. “I doubt they brought the baby all this way,” he was teasing, I hoped. “Come back, tell me what’s going on. I love you.”

And after sighing heavily, reminding him that I loved him right fucking back, off I went to see what the high holy hell had gone fucking wrong again.

 The gist was our knight was wounded, our damsel was terrified and not sure she was worth it, and the adults were awkward (Daryl) and super unsure of me (Connie). But at least Dog was unscathed. While Henry got sutured in the infirmary, Connie and Mom bonded, Lydia kept her hero company and Judith got time with her uncle. That left me and my four legged pal, which I was pretty fucking pleased about.

I was playing with Dog, ignoring humans in general, when I overheard Mom giving Lydia a horrible nugget of advice that I felt the need to tell her my opinion on, since she insisted.

“Telling a young girl who is the victim of REPEATED extensive physical and emotional abuse that she should take her own safety into her own hands, is a pretty shitty way to lead, Mom.” I offered, keeping my eyes down as I ran my hands through Dog’s coat. “Don’t explain, you asked me to tell you my opinions, this is one.”

“She’s going to bring it down on our heads, Jessi.” Her voice was so low, I felt like her lips would barely be moving. “Can we afford more loss?”

I snorted. “Loss? Is that what we’re going to weigh now?” I shook my head and scratched Dog’s ears. “Humanity, Mom, count the humanity we cultivate.”

She came to me later, not much, just long enough that I’d seen Judith with Daryl and heard her asking him what our dad would do in Mom and the other leaders’ positions. Not a fair question, not really. She missed Daryl, I knew that, but I also knew that Daryl felt strained in Alexandria. Too cultured, which was hilarious since the first time it had been destroyed during the Savior War.

“Judith is-” She sighed, and I knew, I could feel it. The rebellion of my little sister. Her thirst for more understanding. To know more. “Negan thinks she’ll get it elsewhere if I don’t give it to her myself.”

“He’s not wrong.” I offered, handing her a drink. “I know you hate to hear that.”

“I do, but I want your honesty, and that’s what it is.” She smiled, and then sighed. “We’re going to The Kingdom. “Do you want to join us?” I shook my head. “Should I tell them to expect a long term visitor in his cell?” I laughed and asked if RJ was staying behind for me to take care of.

#The Walking Dead #negan x ofc #daryl dixon x ofc #mention of smut #OriginalGrimesDaughter #rick grimes daughter

[iheardarumorxxx]

Midnight Sun, Chapter 9 - Port Angeles

Right. I remember this chapter from Twilight. I also have heard quite a bit about this chapter. This is gonna be a ride. 

Eddie starts off this chapter saying that he used to be the ‘responsible’ one. I would like to remind everyone that Edward Anthony Masen Cullen spent a few years eating people he percieved to be horrible criminals because he didn’t like animal blood and was being a whiny baby. But go off, Eddie.

SM is still trying to paint Jessica as a rude bitch and I still don’t buy it. It is extremely clear to anyone with eyeballs that Mike has a thing for Bella, and it is pretty obvious that this date he’s going on with Jessica is because Bella said no. So her thoughts come off as insecure. She’s a teenage girl, so I think insecure is a pretty standard thing. Not always, but SM has painted these kids as the stereotypical teens, so.

Basically, I still don’t buy the attempt to make Jessica seem evil.

Bella has wandered off to go get that book she wanted, and Eddie is simply freaking out because he let his daughter out of his sight for one minute and she wandered off. He’s about half a second away from considering getting a leash to put on her. Seriously, though, that’s how this reads. A parent frantic because they lost their child in a crowded store or park. We all know she’s gonna get a serious scolding for this one. Maybe even grounded.

a volly of snarls erupted from my throat

Okay, we’re still not to the big rant about vampire instincts in this universe, yet, but I want you guys to remember this for later. It absolutely aides in the point I plan to make there. Also a ‘volly’ of snarls. That sounds so forced and I genuinely laughed out loud when I read it. Anyway, Eddie has found Bella and she is with the Evil Bad Guys Who Have Ill Intentions. 

I would see how he enjoyed the hunt when he was the pray. I would see what he thought of my style of hunting.

Technically a spoiler because it hasn’t happened yet in this book, but not because we’ve seen it in Twilight. Eddie literally does not do anything to this Lanny guy or his friends. He gets out of the car, makes a mean face at them, and then gets back in the car and drives off. Maybe SM has Eddie go back out and hunt them later after he drops Bella off, but that doesn’t fit in with his squeaky clean good boy persona that Daddy Carlisle puts on him, so I doubt it. The scene as we know it comes off as very ‘man, if my girlfriend wasn’t here I’d kick your ass’. Because Eddie is a lot of bloated, puffed up talk.

When SM uses dialogue tags like ‘ordered’ to describe how Eddie says things, it just really hammers home that point I’ve been making about red flags. Even if it’s practical, like him telling Bella to put on a seat belt, especially since Pires bend the will of cars to their inane and idotic physics.

We went on a tangent about one of Eddie’s kills from his Vampire Batman days, and like honestly? I watch a lot of Criminal Minds. I see a lot of this kind of stuff, and it is absolutely awful that people like that exist in the world. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t be stopped. HOWEVER, this idea Eddie has that he was playing a good guy by taking justice into his own hands, I don’t jive with that. Now, I am aware of how faulty the criminal justice system is, especially with victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. I’ve lived that, myself. But if Eddie is so comfortable taking another life, no matter how he tries to justify it, he is no better than the people who he’s deciding to kill for their crimes.

a highly justifiable murder

See, this. This is why I don’t buy that SM’s Cullens are the paragons of good that she is constantly trying to say they are. There is no such thing as a justifiable murder, no matter what. Solving heinous acts with heinous acts simply perpetuates a cycle of heinous acts. 

I wasn’t giving her a chance to say no.

This is a trend that will continue throughout the entire series. I will point you to all of the times that Edward never gave Bella a choice in a matter, including leaving her in New Moon, and DISMANTLING HER CAR ENGINE IN ECLIPSE SO THAT SHE COULDN’T GO SEE HER FRIEND. That one in particular rubs me the wrong way for reasons, but we won’t do that here. Just know that Edward never actually lets Bella make a choice in this series, and even when he pretends to, he does everything in his power to make the outcome go his way.

And now we’re at the restaruant. I’ve heard some stuff about this scene and god, can I not WAIT, but for now, let’s just talk about the one off waitress character. She is clearly only here to be a rival to Bella for this scene. Brief, unimportant, underdeveloped. And honestly? One off characters don’t actually need that development, not really, but what I can’t stand about this one is that she is literally only here, both in this book and in Twilight, so that SM can puff up how clearly Bella is so much better than she is. Because, you see, Eddie doesn’t find the pretty hostess attractive, he only has eyes for Bella. Her entire point is so that Edward can look at Bella, and therefore, the audience as Bella is their SI for this world, and go on about how much better and prettier and more perfect she is than this woman. It’s just gross.

“Do I dazzle you?”

This is still, in my personal opinion, the best and most iconic line in a series full of iconic lines. Eddie the Dazzle Machine. Charming the pants off people when he’s trying to scare the shit out of them. It’s hilarious, and so fuckin’ romance novel cliche, and I love it.

This restaurant is apparently a real place in the real Port Angeles. And from what I understand, at least when the Twilight craze was in full swing back in 2008, they got a lot of extra business and a lot more people ordering the mushroom ravioli. Even put something about Twilight on their menu. Good for them, taking advantage of that free marketing. I have never been to Port Angeles, and am allergic to mushrooms, so I can’t say I’ve experienced the dish, but if any of you have, please let me know if it’s worth the hype.

Its so funny that right now, Eddie is worried about Bella being cold and going into shock, while Bella is over there huffing the fumes off his jacket like it’s a paint can, and he can’t even tell that that’s what she’s doing. The girl is doing everything short of just shoving her whole face in it and inhaling, but he’s too thick to get it. 

And here we are folks. The meat and potatoes of this chapter. The big comparison. The reason the cover has a pomegranete on it. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen has the absolute GALL to compare Bella, the boring, walking video game avatar to Persephone. Lets break down Persephone for a second here. There’s a lot to break down, but let’s stick to the basics, for fear that this rant gets wickedly out of hand before I can stop it. Persephone radiates optimism and hope. Persephone is soft, sweet, but has a temper that could kill a man. Persephone is sympathetic. When in the ever loving FUCK has Isabella Swan ever shown any of those characteristics? She is NEVER optimistic about anything. She fucking exists in a constant cloud of negative thought and assuming the worst. She isn’t hopeful about ANYTHING, not even her future with her PRECIOUS Eddie because she’s always questioning his intentions and feelings for her. She is not sympathetic in the slightest, no matter what SM tries to shove down my throat. She treats her friends like shit, she manipulates and lies her way through conversations so she doesn’t have to deal with them, she compares Mike to a FUCKING DOG. Bella is not comparable to Persephone, and it’s fucking beyond ham-fisted, it’s fucking EGREGIOUS to try to make that comparison. 

I could see more of an argument for comparing Eddie to Hades, since, ya know, Hades fucking stole Persephone to be his wife and most stories about Hades paint him as kind of a moody, brooding dickbag, but I’m still calling fucking foul on this attempt at comparison, SM. No dice.

Moving on.

Eddie describing Bella’s skin as ‘velvety’ gives me war flashbacks to those grocery store checkout novels with Fabio on the cover that my mom used to read. Eghhh.

So, Bella touches Eddie’s hand and it’s described in a way that gives me very G-rated sex vibes. Which just makes me wanna tell them to get a room because they’re in public right now, and also don’t do that in front of Bella’s salad ravioli.

Eddie is still being super controling and weird about Bella eating, and honestly, I super wish that Bella had had the good sense to get the hell out of there with Jess and Angela. Or that she would have the good sense now to excuse herself, find someone on staff, ask to borrow a phone, and call her dad. Because this guy is literally throwing out every red flag that exists. I know I say this a lot, but if Bella were a normal girl, she would not be charmed by this guy, she would be freaking creeped out and trying to get away from him. He isn’t even subtle about his creep factor or charming enough to play it off.

Edward thinking he has any edge at all is like white bread thinking it’s the right kind of bread for a hamburger.

Anyway, chapter ends with Eddie paying the bill and the pair getting in the car to head home. And the drama chord of the last sentence that’s supposed to play in your head when you read it falls flat. They’re on the way back to Forks and Eddie is chomping at the bit to hear Bella’s latest theory that we know from Twilight isn’t actually a theory so much as she heard a story from Jacob and then did some searching on some shitty Angelfire website. Or Geocities. Either way. And then she just went ahead and had a big old prophetic dream about it. 

Next time, we get the awkward car ride home and more. Thanks for hanging around guys. As always, feel free to message me (though, please note to anyone who has sent me anon messages that are rude or angry because I’m making fun of this book, I’m gonna ignore you.), recommend what books I should put on my list for my next recap series, and feel free to buy me a snack using the CashApp tag in my bio.

See you next time, babes.

#sierra recaps stuff #midnight sun #midnight sun spoilers #midnight sun recap #twilight #ms chapter 9